#I'm so normal about T...
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This scene is always in my mind
They make me sick get them out of my head NOW!
#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#my roman empire#I think about this all the time#i'm gonna be sick#i'm gonna throw up#I want what they have#you're telling me they weren't playing this as a romantic scene? lies. one of the most romantic things I've ever witnessed#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#star trek a taste of armageddon#spock#s'chn t'gai spock#james t kirk#jim kirk#captain kirk#spirk#not art#video#get them out of my mind now this scene has been on replay since 2020#You're telling me this isn't supposed to have romantic undertones. You're telling me this is a normal heterosexual not at all romantic#conversation between a captain and his first officer.#why did he say it so lovingly#one of the most romantic scenes in any media ever#s01ep23#I think
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'The Empath' Novelization by James Blish (1974)
#mcspirk#triumvirate#star trek#star trek tos#tosedit#trekedit#james t. kirk#spock#leonard mccoy#gem#william shatner#leonard nimoy#deforest kelley#kathryn hays#gif#mine#tostv#ot3: men like us don't have families.#i'm SO fucking normal about this. i totally haven't lied in bed at night unable to sleep because i'm thinking about 'his love for'
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No thoughts, only Spock getting a drink for Kirk from the tray unprompted.
#sorry i'm insane#star trek#star trek tos#spock#captain kirk#I have never really tagged a star trek post. someone send help. how do people usually tag their names.#james t kirk#jim kirk#kirk#mr spock#should i tag this as spirk#i guess so#spirk#kie being normal about media
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thinking about,,, drunk sneezes
not only the possibility of sensitivity to wine/etc itself but just. the alcohol fuzziness meaning maybe they let a sneeze creep up on them without noticing, and the lack of inhibitions meaning they let it out without any shame they may usually have..... maybe even being more dramatic than usual, louder, bending at the waist, dazed after.... accepting care they may usually deny because they are drunk and happy and vulnerable
#i'm fine i'm normal#snz kink#snz fet#alcohol tw#(???)#of course i am thinking about modern au hc because i am nothing if not a one-trick-pony rn#xl watching him go all loose and fuzzy with delight and then he starts /sneezing/#hooh boy#also tho i am having THOUGHTS about canon t/gcf 👀#iirc in japan saké is often used in purifying rituals#i'm not as familiar with chinese culture so idk if rice wine is used similarly there#but the idea of a purifying/blessed alcohol that has adverse effects on ghosts..... hello#(xl brings it home wanting to try alcohol again for nice reasons for the first time!)#(he doesn't know that it's a fancy ritual wine! what does he know!)#(they drink it together! WHOOPS! what could be happening? >D )#alright. doffs my clown hat. shutting up now. have this
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He's so caffeine dependent. I need him
#me being sooooo normal about a fictional character again#definitely getting better at drawing him#obsessed w his hair in s3#obsessed w everything really. the hair the outfit (the loose fit the plain tshirt the waist the huge belt. he made janitorial slay) the#general skulduggery. obsessed#THANK U to everyone who rbd my first brad art i am kissing you personally<3333333333#mythic quest#mq#brad bakshi#alextriestoart#the word mochacchino is just constantly bouncing around my skull. that's not hyperbole I'm being fr. my sillay little brain is so funny abou#t fixation characters#and by silly i mean insane#mythic quest fanart
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No more t*ckling scenes in media. PLEASE
Why is it the ones that circulate always sprinkled with an unhealthy amount of *weird*
Or is it just me because I'm hyperaware of seeing my own interest on the big screen
What happened to lighthearted pokes in the sides why is it so deeply non consensual or used in a way to make fun of it.
Like PLEASE be fucking normal about it!!!! Whether it's as a kink or not don't make it weird 😭😭😭😭😭😭
#ofc some people love that sort of thing and whatever thats great for them#but what about ME huh!?#the boys will still have the most sickening one for me personally#but the OTHER one I saw from a different show circulating#the anxiety I got- through the ROOF#anyways I'm probably being dramatic but it upsets me that they cant just be normal about it#we get it- people hate being tickled#but what if they didn't 👀#nah those people don't exist#im not asking for characters to love being tickled#im asking for not a dan sch*der esque portrayal of sonething I just so happen to like#and also as an aroace can we maybe have some platonic t*ckles pwease
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It's honestly kind of funny to me that catapulting into Kirk/Spock shipping has launched my usual "meh, not into jealousy as a metric of romantic love" shipping tendency out the window and instead I'm genuinely charmed by the extent to which they reflect the same unhealthy seething jealousy.
This is most obvious with Spock, but you'll get McCoy joking about Spock falling in love with a computer (not an android, a stationary computer) and McCoy being A Normal Guy Joking About His Friend Having a Hobby is immediately contrasted with Kirk's barely repressed jealousy (you can all but see him thinking "time to talk another computer to death" while McCoy just laughs at his own joke about it). Kirk gets more and more generally insecure until Spock publicly declares that, while he does like an efficient computer, Kirk is irreplaceable and he doesn't want to serve anyone or anything else, and Kirk looks like he's about to kiss him on the bridge.
(Kirk still talks the computer to death, btw, for plot reasons. But big "Edith Keeler must die" energy.)
I also enjoy Kirk's horror/outrage at Leila Kalomi and her obvious gloating over "taking" Spock from him in the docility sex pollen episode and Kirk's willingness to do or say anything to get Spock back vs Spock bleeding intensity throughout "Requiem for Methuselah" as Kirk falls in love with Rayna, then Spock numbly listening to McCoy's speech about how he can never understand the glories or agonies of romantic love triangles or passionate love before waiting for him to leave and then wiping Rayna from Kirk's mind. Just two bros who are totally normal about each other!
#genuinely hilarious to me how mccoy is used to be 'here's how a normal person would respond to his friend having a hobby or love interest'#[cut to kirk's or spock's 'WAIT WHAT does he love her/this more than me??? i can endure never speaking my love#but i canNOT endure my absolute centrality in his life being slightly disrupted by anything ever']#also they'll lightly rib each other but when they think something other than the 24/7 mutual admiration society is happening for real#it's like. kicked puppy time. spock will just be 'i'm sorry :( i'm trying my best :(((' or kirk's like 'you don't think i'm logical? :((('#they're so used to 'you are perfect 2 me your flawlessness is a force of nature like gravity' that... well.#i also think of how annoyed leonard nimoy was at the conclusion of the episode where whatshisface shapeshifted into kirk#and spock has to determine which kirk is the real one and there's an asinine fight scene mandated by higher-ups as he figures it out#and nimoy was like... obviously spock would recognize the actual kirk this is bullshit >:( iirc he was mad enough to complain to paramount#and in the actual episode kirk is like 'why didn't you know it was me RIGHT AWAY tho :( why did it take you so long :(((('#and when spock goes 'well i figured the impersonator would win the combat and then-' and kirk's face is just 'you thought i'd lose :((('#and spock rushes to assure him it's because of his condition at the time not GENERALLY of COURSE#meanwhile just about every other scene between them is kirk being like 'of COURSE you are SO logical and reliable sweetie <3'#anyway. kirk longingly watch spock mind meld with anything/one other than him and spock simmering in the background: iconic behavior#anghraine babbles#deep blogging#otp: the premise#james t kirk#spock#c: who do i have to be#c: i object to intellect without discipline#star peace#star trek: the original series#tos: s2#tos: s3#tos: s1#tos: this side of paradise#tos: the ultimate computer#tos: the city on the edge of forever#tos: requiem for methuselah
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I bring silly gals! And by that, I mean that I wanted to draw my human lads with more feminine features <3
The drawings in order are: Hero, Cold, Opportunist, and Paranoid!
...also of course Hero is the only one who gets a colored reference, that's very on-brand for Everest at this point /lh
...also-also, Cold got long hair like that just because I wanted to give him Spectre's long hair. And so I did!
...also-also-also, Oppy reminds EG of their OC, who has very similar clothes style, similar hair, and starts their story quite Oppy-coded. I think someone is projecting their OCs onto voices again... eh, sure, why not!
#slay the princess#stp fanart#stp voices#stp hero#stp cold#stp opportunist#stp paranoid#humanization#genderbend#art#fanart#this is about as far from my normal designs as i'm getting - but i still gotta tag them as normal for filtering purposes#which is a little awkward... but oh well /lh#i promise i have not-old-art too... but most of the stuff i've been making are either WIPs or i can't show them yet ( T v T)#well - there will be quite a few drawings released in about a week or so#coming soon!
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soooo i embroidered a belgica shirt
(inspiration and process photos below the cut)

inspired by this poster! you might not believe me but there aren't just belgica embroidery patterns lying around the internet lol, so i had to make my own!! its the first embroidery pattern i designed myself lol (and it probably shows)
this is the pattern! i traced it onto some stabilizer with a water soluble marker and then got to work. i think in my next attempts i'm going to include some of the lettering from the og poster (probably voyage de la belgica, or just belgica, on the front. and i'm honestly debating embroidering de gerlache on the back like a jersey lmao). i also think i'll outline the satin stitches of the boat next time, just for a bit more clarity of shape/cleanliness of lines

i forgor to take a picture of the traced pattern with no stitches already in place, but here's an in progress photo
#this was just an old t-shirt i never wear#so it's mostly for practice but ill sure as hell wear it out now because idk i'm pretty proud of it#can't wait to make the next version but i think i should practice the lettering and spacing and all that on#fabric scraps before i get ahead of myself#anyyyyway im sooo normal about polar exploration and the belgica specifically#belgica expedition#madhouse at the end of the earth#polar exploration#heroic age of antarctic exploration#figs sillies#polar tag
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For some reason last night, I felt like celebrating something and then I looked at my clock and it's my T-versary.
I thought about doing a "changes I've noticed" kind of post, but if I'm honest, the physical changes pail in comparison to the sheer contentment I feel. It's a feeling that no words are adequate, so words are not needed. I hope everyone feels this way - I certainly never thought I could, ever would. And yet, it is something I've had for years now.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#honestly this anniversary matters more to me than my birthday - emotionally it does i mean#my birth was something i had no say in. i enacted no change nor did i have any semblance of control#however going on t? that was entirely my choice. i took my life into my hands and decided to pursue what i *needed*#but if anyone does have questions about testosterone or changes certainly feel free to ask (genuine)#i'm just at a point in changes where i don't necessarily think to include it because this is my normal#so having someone ask about it prompts me to actually be like 'wait a minute' and that's helpful
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gender rant in tags
#there is a part of me that desperately wants to identify as a man but i just can't#because i hate being associated what that means for people#like yes obviously being big and masculine and putting on muscle and weight is affirming to a lot of people#and that's fine#but i really do not know how to explain how much i do not resonate with that#and how much i equally don't resonate with femininity#i have spent years debating whether i want to medically transition#i know about all the literal physical stuff i just don't know if i want to bite the bullet and do it#and i go on tumblr hoping to find some kind of inspiration some kind of motivation literally anything to encourage me to do it#but literally every post about being transmasc is about being strong and hairy and typically masculine#which. again. is fine. but i literally never feel like my gender is one that even exists#so then i convince myself that it's best not to even try#when i still don't even know if i've decided that's true or not#i dont know#i don't even know where i'm going with this i just feel like i will never ever be seen in my life#and even if i make the jump to medically transition it will mean i may lose a lot of people close to me#so it's not ebven like it's just a gender question it's like well. do you want to feel Vaguely Dissatisfied but not in agony and keep the#things and the people that are closest to you#or do you want to try this thing that you may not even like and risk losing everything#i just wish i fucking knew#i would know if i thought i could be the person i wanted to be on T#but honestly i'm not convinced that i will ever be that person#i see trans people being happy and it just makes me fucking sad#and i fucking hate that#if you’ve read this far I’ll admit to you this was because I started crying looking at the tumblr forcemasc tag. because I’m normal#anyway. goes back to reading my stupid naval uniform book#mine#delete later
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B/eastars is already such a horny show, and then they animate snz like THAT?
someone put their entire dick and balls into animating that spray, that's all I'm saying...
#s/tudio o/range I didn't know you were chill like that...#like was this one even in the manga...I wouldn't know because I haven't read it LMAO#idk...big wolf guy...something about him...#no because the whole thing in season 2 also made me crazy. like I said I would be normal but I was nottttt#the show that just keeps on giving istg#(or better yet the studio that keeps on giving...looking over at t/rigun s/tampede...)#also not a snz thing. but there is something so carnal that this show satisfies in me on a general level too#as a furry I've never been opposed to the adult side of things and it's like?? really fucking cool to see a mature show featuring furries#be so mainstream...like even non-furries appreciate the show with no issues and I guess I find it refreshing#like it may not be for everyone ofc but it IS a really good story at its core and I'd hate to see it pushed aside bc it features#anthro animal characters#not that I need it to be adult either. I just love anything featuring animal characters like I think it is so fun!#but yeah...b/eastars just hits something in my brain in the best fucking way#I'm having the best fucking time digging into s3 🤩#um anyways. didn't mean to ramble like This um. good night snzblr#snzblr#silver.text#b/eastars#guess I'll tag it...
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about goshdang time I made some proper fanart for @narcissistcookbook and their good tunes. this one's an homage to one of my favorite albums of all time 🔥 (Edit: Matt has since commissioned this piece from me and has the rights to sell it!)
[ID: A graphic design of a rib cage in front of a shining sun. A garden hose twists around the rib cage and lets out a stream of water and various objects that fill the bottom of the design. In between the waves of water the following objects are nestled: an alarm clock that reads 4:30, a can of diet cola, a dragon hissing smoke, a smartphone with an incoming call from Mx. TNC (with a wolf icon), and a raven carrying a note that reads "promise you'll leave." Mushrooms cling to the sides of the rib cage. Text reading "This is how we get better" frames the top and lays over the bottom of the design. End ID]
This is How We Get Better and all Narcissist Cookbook's other music is available at all the usual music places
ko-fi | commissions
(textless version under the cut)

[ID: Same image as above, but without the words. End ID]
#Was going for an indie punk t-shirt vibe and I think we hit that mark :3#I'm so normal about this album I promise <-blatant lie <-has listened to the album over 300 times <-is probably listening to it right now#tnc#narcissist cookbook#this is how we get better#the narcissist cookbook#music fanart
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Art by @ericslingbysexy finally in a frame ignore the propped up nature I'm about to paint this room.
#kuroshitsuji reapers#kuroshitsuji#grell sutcliff#shinigami#william t spears#alan humpries#I'm just so normal about them.
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“You’re such a pretty man,” Makino sighed, touching her fingertips to his cheek, before rubbing his beard with her thumb. “Your wife is very lucky. Oh—hey.” Her whole expression brightened, her smile entirely cheeky. “That’s me.”
Shanks grinned, delighted. “You are absolutely hammered, aren’t you?”
“Hmm, I think I’m about to be.” She frowned. “Wait—was that not a euphemism?”
My masked Zorro, the unbelievably generous and tantalisingly mysterious Cover Anon, sweeps in once more with another gorgeous cover from Shanties, this time for Penelope (aka, the wedding fic, my beloved), by the incredible @sacred_pirate on twitter.
I...don't know how it's possible to capture the way a fic exists in my mind so perfectly it's like the artist reached into my soul, and yet that's what this feels like. This is one of the most beautiful artworks I've ever seen, and I can't believe it's from my fic, and this fic.
#I.........am actually at a loss for words#I've just been staring at this all day#sacred_pirate if you see this: your style is everything and this cover is so atmospheric you've sucked me right into this moment!!#the lighting and the composition and the sheer SOFTNESS of this cover??#and the DETAILS#the DRESS and the FLOWERS IN HER HAIR#the wedding rings!! Luffy's wanted poster!!#and t h e m#they're *perfect*#Makino is so beautiful I want to cry#absolutely breathtaking#and SHANKS#THAT LOOK#THIS IS THE LOOK THAT'S IN MY MIND WHEN I WRITE THEM#I AM!!! FEELING A NORMAL AMOUNT ABOUT THIS#I'm lying I am absolutely losing it#the warmth and the tender goofiness in this is exactly how I imagine them and I cannot overstate how much I love this#Cover Anon: I owe you my life#I don't know how to thank you enough#I just hope you know how much this means to me#that someone loves these stories so much they'd do this...I am humbled beyond words<3#Shanks x Makino#otp: sing me sea shanties#Shanties for the Weary Voyager#opfanfic#Shanties art
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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