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queenlucythevaliant · 2 years ago

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1 Chronicles of Narnia

Now these are the generations of Frank I, King of Narnia, and of Helen his Queen:

After Frank had lived twenty-seven years and Helen his wife twenty-four, they begat a son after their own likenesses and called his name Frank, after his father. A daughter also they begat, and her name was Sarah; for they said, “Aslan gave this land to us and to our descendants.”

They were the first of all rulers of Narnia and to them all the Beasts and Creatures of the world were given in stewardship. They made the rough places level that structures might be built and tamed the wilds a little that the people of Narnia might dwell in them. For their line the cornerstone of Cair Paravel was laid, so that Frank and Helen might have a dwelling place worthy of the calling to which Aslan had called them. They guided the people of Narnia and instructed them in uprightness; and in all things they were Aslan’s servants.

And all the days of Frank I were eighty-two: and having reigned fifty-six years, he died and was buried at Lantern Waste in the place where Aslan first called him. And Queen Helen’s days were ninety, and she lay beside him.

Frank II lived sixty-three years and by his wife, the nymph Hespera, he begat sons Frank III and Isaac, and a daughter Rebecca; for he remembered the ways of his parents. Frank II did all that Aslan had commanded his father, and he wrote down all the songs and stories that his parents had taught him.

And Isaac his son went to the pasturelands in the south and established his father’s rule there even as he worked the land among the Beasts. But Rebecca remained in her father’s house, for she loved the sea.

And having ruled Narnia eight years, Frank II died, and Frank III ruled in his place.

Frank III lived fifty-four years and by his wife, Liriope the naiad, he begat only Rachel, his daughter. Now Frank III was thirty-three when he began to reign, and he was the first king of Narnia to rule at Cair Paravel. Under his dominion, the boarders of Narnia were drawn: north at the River Shribble as far as Lantern Waste and south at the mountains beyond Glasswater. He ruled twenty-eight years in peace: and after he died, Rachel ruled Narnia.

Now Rachel was twenty years old when she began to reign. She remembered her fathers’ instruction and she walked in uprightness; yet she feared the evil that had gone into north and so devoted herself to Narnia’s fortification. It was said among some of the people that Queen Rachel did not close her eyes even to sleep.

In her first year, she ordered the forging of 5,000 iron swords from the Red Dwarves, and from the Black Dwarves 2,000 shields and 12,000 arrow tips. From the dryads she ordered 1,500 bows such as could be made of sturdy, flexible wood. She built up walls and armaments around the Tree of Protection and appointed farsighted Eagles to guard it by day and Owls by night. She established watchtowers in the Northern March; and the first armies of Narnia assembled under her general, Gripfast the centaur.

Rachel lived seventy-seven years and she begat Frank IV and daughters Lea and Dina: and having reigned fifty-seven years, she died. And she and all her descendants were buried beneath the third hill of Cair Paravel, just within the outermost fortifications.

Frank IV was fifty-three years old when he began to reign. He lived sixty-nine years and begat Frank V and Cainan. But Frank IV was the first Narnian king to die in battle, for in his day a wer-wolf made its den by Cauldron Pool and was terrorizing all those who came there. So the king went out alone and called the wer-wolf out to combat, and the wer-wolf tore his body apart.

When his son Cainan heard what had happened, he rode out to Cauldron Pool with twenty warriors and they vanquished the wer-wolf; and after he had done this, Cainan sailed east and became the first ruling Prince of Galma.

Having reigned sixteen years, Frank IV died, and his son Frank V ruled Narnia in his place.

Now Frank V was forty-three years old when he began to reign. His mother’s name was Neda, a river goddess. And he did right in the ways of Aslan, but not with his whole heart. For Frank V was a proud man and he put his own seal, not the Lion’s, on all that he did. He established the first Narnian exploratory corps, an assembly of 3,000 Birds, Antelope, and other nimble creatures sent into the wastes to report back what they saw. In this way, the lands to the south of the mountains were first discovered.

By his wife, a woman of Galma, Frank V begat Frank VI, Colin, and Col, and daughters Ellen, Nia, and Genive. And because his son Frank V was his heir, the king greatly favored him; but his other sons and daughters, the king left to their own devices.

And in that day, Aslan was seen again in Narnia's lands: for when they were young women the princesses Ellen, Nia, and Genive stood together on the eastern shore of Galma and called to him. They spoke the words of reverence and supplication which had come from the writings of Frank II, saying, "We long to see thy glory, O Aslan; Lord, shine your countenance upon us." And as they waited, behold, Aslan came to them out of the east and spoke unto the princesses face to face. Yet it is not written in this or any other book what he said to them.

Having reigned thirty-eight years, Frank V died. But Frank VI lived twenty-six years only and did not wed, for he was feeble from birth. Colin, his brother, ruled in his place.

Now Colin and his brother Col were much intrigued by all that lay to Narnia’s south and in youth they made a pact to establish a kingdom there together. But when Frank VI died and Colin became heir, he told his brother Col, “You must go south now so that when I am king, we may begin to build an empire together.” So Col went south into the mountains and there established Archenland.

And Colin became king when he was thirty-one years old. On the day of his coronation, he sent a dispatch of 700 Narnians to Archenland, telling them, “Build my brother a nation fit to stand beside Narnia.”

Thus Archenland grew and prospered; and travel to and from Narnia was established across the mountains. Each year, Col and his queen would winter in Narnia; and Colin and his queen, who was Ida the mountain nymph, oft summered in Archenland. In this way, the great alliance between the two nations was born.

And by Queen Ida, Colin begat Colin II and daughters Salla and Saria: and having reigned forty years, he died.

Now Colin II was forty years old when he began to rule. Colin II did what was right in Aslan’s eyes. In the first year of his reign, he formally dedicated Stone Table Hill to the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Likewise, he established days of feasting in the Lion’s honor and on those days the gates of Cair Paravel were flung wide to all who would enter. And he begat a son Cal and daughter Joianna: and having reigned nineteen years, he died. But Cal lived only nine years and his sister Joianna ruled Narnia after her father’s death.

Joianna was thirty-two years old when she began to rule, and her mother’s name was Sharra. Joianna was called the Dancing Queen, for she was the first ruler of Narnia to partake in the summer frolics on the Dancing Lawn. Lords came from the south and the east to beg her hand for a dance; but she married a Narnian Elm-spirit.

Yet in spite of her cognomen, Joianna loved all the arts: she was a painter and she established a school of painting which met at Lantern Waste, for she said, “It is the place of all creation.” And in her day, many masterful artworks were made, and some adorned the halls of Cair Paravel.

Joianna was patron to many of the finest artists that Narnia has yet known: she gifted fine materials to Caulkin the dwarf, who made statues of gold and bronze so lifelike that many mistook them for living creatures, and to Gleamcast the centaur she gave lengths of blue and black velvet for her tapestries.

In her last days, Joianna also established the Narnian Library at Cair Paravel, that all the histories of the world might be put to paper. And she lived for seventy-six years and with her husband begat Cal II, Caden, and a daughter Marianna: and having reigned forty-four years, she died.

And Cal, second of that name but the first to rule Narnia as king, lived sixty-six years. He begat Jonan, Julan, and Joianna II: and having reigned ten years, he died.

But it was during Cal’s reign that outlaws from another world appeared in the south of Archenland and began to build themselves a kingdom, which today is called Calormen. They brought laws and customs from their own place and did not pay Aslan any due. Rather, they cursed him as a demon and a false god; and when he heard news of this, King Cal’s heart stopped and his life ended.

Jonan was thirty-nine when he began to rule and he begat only daughters: Ira and Lyra by his wife Helin of Archenland, and Birchsilver, whose mother was a dryad: and having reigned six years, he died.

Now Ira lived seventy-nine years and begat Garlen, Galad, Seabreak, and a daughter Joianna III. She did not acknowledge Aslan or the ways of her fathers, but did wickedness in the Emperor’s sight. When Ira heard of the fine perfumes being sold in the new southern country, she sent an envoy south and arranged to purchase them. And when she heard that some Calormene ladies had slaves to carry them about in litters, she ordered six centaurs and two unicorns to live at the Cair and bear her astride wherever she went.

Queen Ira greatly prized her own beauty, and when she began to think that her daughter Joianna had surpassed her, Ira had a tower built at the westernmost wall of Cair Paravel, and there imprisoned her. But though her tower was not windowless, Joianna wasted away because the Eastern Sea was beyond her sight, and her beauty quickly faded. Only then did her mother the queen release her.

Having reigned fifty-two years, Ira died and was buried with her fathers.

Now Garlen, Ira’s first son, lived sixty-one years; but he received a wound in his youth and could not sire children. Thus, his brother Galad ruled Narnia after Queen Ira’s death.

Galad was fifty-three years old when he began to reign, but after his half-sister’s imprisonment he began to lose his senses; and by the time he became king, he was altogether mad. Yet in spite of this impediment, he made a favorable marriage to Larin, princess of Archenland, and she bore him Cassadon and Carradon and daughters Raina, Joia, and Ellan. Because of Galad’s infirmity, his wife Larin and son Cassadon ruled Narnia in truth: and having been king thirty-eight years, Galad died.

Now Cassadon was instructed in the ways of wise rulership from the time he began to speak, and he walked upright before the Lion. But when his brother Carradon saw that Cassadon ruled while their father still lived, he bribed a certain satyr to kill him while he was out riding. But Cassadon dodged the blow and arrested the satyr, who told him at once what Caradon had done: and because Cassadon trusted Aslan and was forgiving in nature, he pardoned his brother and did not raise a hand against him.

But resentment still simmered in the heart of Carradon, so he went to some of the royal guards at Cair Paravel and said, “If one of you kills my brother Cassadon, I will give him his own dutchy; and if he fails, he will be pardoned, for my brother is a soft-hearted man.”

But the guards were loyal to Cassadon because he was a good and upright man, so they went before him together and told him what Carradon had asked them to do. And when he heard this, Cassadon was greatly distressed; but because he loved his brother, he placed him under house arrest and did not raise a hand against him.

Yet Carradon hated his brother all the more for his kindness, so he wrote to his brother-in-law Prodit, the husband of his sister Ellan, saying, “If you arrange to have Cassadon killed the next time he is in your house, I will make your wife my heir when I am king, and then your children will sit on the throne of Narnia.” So, the next time that Cassadon visited the house of his sister Ellan, he was given a chalice full with poison and drank it, and at once he began to spasm in his chair. But Cassadon cried out to Aslan, and the Lion preserved his life until a healer arrived. And when Ellan found out what had happened, she questioned all the members of her household until Carradon’s treachery was unveiled.

Then, after long consultation with his advisors and with Larin his mother, Cassadon brought Carradon before the Stone Table and said, “Though you are my brother, you have thrice betrayed me and sought my death. Therefore, let the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea be judge between us.” And after he had said these things, Cassadon put his brother to death on the Stone Table, and his blood ran down its surface and pooled in the letters that were graven there.

And Cassadon lived sixty years and by his wife, the maenad Lucizia, he begat a son named Gale, most famous of all the kings of Frank’s dynasty, and daughters Allia and Lightfall: and having reigned less that a year in his own name, he died.

Now Gale was thirty-nine years old when he began to reign. From a child, his father taught him all the histories of Narnia to instruct him in uprightness; and as a youth Gale vowed that when he ruled Narnia, he would serve Aslan with his whole heart. He was a just judge and a valiant warrior, and all the people of Narnia loved him. He reinstituted the High Festivals which Colin II had begun and invited envoys from Archenland, Galma, and even Calormen to partake in them. And a few Calormenes came to know Aslan in this way.

But Gale’s greatest deeds, it is told, took place on a series of sea-voyages to the lands to the East of Narnia. Terebinthia he discovered uninhabited, and when some of his people asked to form a colony there, Gale told them, “Go with Aslan’s blessing and devote yourselves to his service there.” But Gale remained high king over Terebinthia in those days.

The Lone Islands he found peopled with men whose ancestry traced back to that other world from which Frank and the Calormenes had first come; and the people of the Lone Islands were at great need, for a dragon had made its habitation on Doorn and was besieging the people there. But Gale mustered his Narnian forces and by Aslan’s gift defeated the dragon. In gratitude, the Lone Islands made Gale and his line their emperor forever. But even as he accepted, Gale said, “There is only one Emperor, and all the kings of the world are in his hand.”

Gale reigned forty-one years and by his wife Josephine, a shepherdess of Felimath, he begat Gale II: and when he was eighty years old, he sailed east without any crew and his likeness was never seen in Narnia again.

Gale II lived one hundred and thirteen years and his wife Lis begat only daughters: Galia, Raia, Lia, Blushsky, and Bee. Gale II was the richest of all Narnian kings, for under his reign the Narnia prospered and the land was abundant. The king gathered riches from the four corners of the world: musical instruments and precious gems from the north, carved decorations of coral and bone from the east, golden statues and stonework from the south, and rich wine and fruit from the west. His daughters were famous for their beauty and wit, and all made good matches: and when they married, they took heaping chests of treasure with them. But Gale retained the bulk of his wealth, and beneath Cair Paravel he caused there to be built a great Treasure House.

During the reign of Gale II, a strange people emerged west of Narnia in the land of Telmar: and the king sent them rich gifts of gold and silver and many jewels, but they were turned away. Yet the inhabitants of Telmar showed no signs of hostility against Narnia, and so the king did not prevent them from making their habitations in the west.

When the Calormenes finished building the great temple of Tash in the thirty-fifth year of his reign, the king said, “Let me go and see this great thing which has been built in the south.” So he journeyed to Tashbaan and partook in the dedication of the temple, and there he paid a great tribute in rich rubies and emeralds at Tash’s alter.

Yet while he was in Calormen, a few Marsh-wiggles began to rebel in the north of Narnia, and the Black Dwarves, and some of the Beasts in those parts soon joined them. But Gale II ordered the rebellion crushed and the wigwams of those who had begun it were destroyed utterly.

And when they saw what the king had done to his own people, the men of Terebinthia rejected Gale II as their high king; and Gale did not oppose them, for his army was discontented.

And having reigned seventy-five years, Gale II died, and his daughter Galia reigned in his place.

And Galia lived ninety years, but most of her life she spent in the western dutchy of Lantern Waste with her husband, who was duke: and with her husband she begat Gale III and Carlisle, and having reigned five years, she died.

Gale III lived eighty-one years and like his mother did not begin to reign until he was old: for the splendor of his grandfather’s rule still hung over all Narnia. But while he ruled, the people of Narnia were free and unencumbered; but the lights of Cair Paravel were dark while Gale III reigned. And by two women he begat Gale IV and Ele: and having reigned seventeen years, he died.

But Gale IV lived thirty-six years only and his daughter Rosebriar, whose mother was Zehra Tarkheena, ruled Narnia in his place.

Rosebriar was thirty-eight old when she began to reign. She lived eighty-nine years and with her husband, Lord Eleon of Terebinthia, she begat Gale V, Ebeneezer (whose name came from one of Narnia’s oldest songs), and Umit. Now Queen Rosebriar was a prophet, and while dreaming Aslan gave her visions of things to come.

From a child she dreamed snow and ice, howling winds and howling wolves; but then she saw Aslan, whose radiance filled the sea, and he promised her that he would one day return to the land he had created and give four children of Frank’s root rule over Narnia.

Having dreamed all these things, Rosebriar caused four thrones to be built in the royal hall of Cair Paravel. Marble they were, graven with images from Rosebriar’s dreams, and she decreed that none should sit in those thrones until all that Aslan had promised had come to pass. And as to the rest of Queen Rosebriar’s prophecies, are they not written in her book which is stored in the Library of Cair Paravel?

Having reigned fifty-one years, Rosebriar died and her son Gale V ruled Narnia.

And Gale V lived seventy-seven years and begat Gale VI: and having reigned ten years, he died.

Gale VI was sixteen years old when he began to reign, and his mother was Ell of Archenland. Gale VI honored Aslan, and he waged wars in the north in the hope of rooting out the evil concerning which Queen Rosebriar had prophesied. But in the northern moors, no sign of the witch could be found. Yet Gale VI pushed Narnia’s northern boundary across the whole of Ettinsmoor to the foothills of the mountains, where they have remain to this very day. And Gale VI lived fifty-nine years and with his wife begat Gale VII, Galian, and Calvin: and having reigned forty-three years, he died.

And Gale VII lived forty-two years and married the hammadryad Greyleaf, by whom he begat twin daughters: Stonegrey and Cloudgrey. And having reigned seven years, he died.

Stonegrey and Cloudgrey were twenty-two years old when their father died, and because they were twins, they said to one another, “Why should one of us rule over the other?” So they reigned over Narnia jointly. They were not wicked in nature, but neither did they remember the name of Aslan, nor even the prophecies of Rosebriar their recent mother. They sat together in two of the four thrones which she had built for Aslan’s anointed, and so defiled them. When they did this, the grass began to wither across the land.

At this time, a faun named Salus came out of the west by Lantern Waste; and he visited the sister-queens at Cair Paravel. “The line of Frank is withering,” he said to them. “Return, return to the Lion, O Narnia! You will be torn from the ground as a withered tree and flung into the fire.”

Queen Stonegrey and Queen Cloudgrey heard Salus’s words, but they did not listen. Instead, they laughed and said, “Return, mad-faun, to your own place.” And the grass continued to wither, as though bitten by frost.

Stonegrey lived ninety-nine years and Cloudgrey lived sixty-six. Each of them bore a son in the same year, and the names they gave them were Fallstone and Stormsky: but they nursed their sons together, and kept them in the same nursery, and one of the children died in the night. No one was ever certain whose son had died, so they called the surviving child Stormstone, and he inherited their thrones. And having reigned with her sister forty-four years and alone thirty-three, Stonegrey died.

Stormstone was seventy-one years old when he became king, and he saw no reason why he should not seat himself in one of the four thrones as his mother had done. But when he did this, the rivers and springs of Narnia began to run dry. And Stormstone knew then that he had done evil, or else he was frightened; so he cordoned off the thrones with a net of enchanted thread, that none might sit in them for a hundred years.

And insodoing it came to pass that King Stormstone became greatly learned in the magical arts and thus he went out to the Tree of Protection hoping to strengthen the protective spell that Aslan had laid on Narnia at creation. But when he inspected it, he found that the Tree sick, for only a few of its apples were sweet. But Stormstone was fearful of what the Narnians’ response would be if ever this became known, so he hid it from all but his closest advisors.

And by his wife Stormstone begat two sons, Shale and Micah: and having reigned for thirty years, he died.

And Shale lived eighty-eight years and by two wives he begat four sons, Calis, Tinan, Rush, and Ash, and two daughters, Deereye and Cornflax. In Shale’s day, the dwarves delved deeper into the earth than ever before, and discovered such wonders as no one had ever seen; and some of the Beasts began to live among their wild kindred and became as dumb beasts. The revelries at Dancing Lawn honored Aslan no longer, and after a while they went on day and night unceasing. Wine there was, and rich food from Calormen and the Lone Islands. And King Shale spoke Aslan’s name not once in the forty-four years he reigned.

But the weeping willow dryad Fleba came before the king and she spoke the name of Aslan in a reedy voice. “The winter draws near,” she wept. “Aslan, the Light in the East, loves you still; but his glory will not suffer wickedness to endure.” And though the king heeded her not, she returned to his court again and again, weeping loudly.

In his old age, King Shale hosted a tourney to which he invited all the lords and ladies, kings of queens, Tarkaans and Tarkheens, and every person of beauty or skill from across the known world. And after the festivities began, the king became drunk, and when he tried to mount his horse, he fell backwards and died. And because few of his children survived him, his youngest son Ash ruled in his place.

Now Ash lived forty-seven years and begat Emberred and daughters Eca and Eleen. He was thirty-eight years old when he became king, but as soon as he was crowned, he indulged in all the vices of his father: and having reigned nine years, he died.

Emberred lived eighty-one years and begat Felfrost and a daughter Silksheen. In the thirty-sixth year of his reign, the Bear Snaggletooth appeared at the Stone Table and began to prophecy concerning the Deep Magic: “The Lion will not forget his Pride. What he has said to me, I will tell you: the Deep Magic from before the Dawn of Time was given form and word that his beloved might be redeemed. He will breathe into the remnant of his faithful ones, and not one will be lost.” All the words of that Bear were written down, for a few Narnians believed his words, and having believed they went unto the Stone Table and cleansed it, and there began be murmurings against the king.

When Emberred heard this, he ordered that Snaggletooth be put to death: so a Narnian executioner bound and muzzled him and cut him open on the Stone Table, and the his followers dispersed in fear.

Having reigned fifty-two years, Emberred died. But Silksheen spread rumors that her brother Felfrost was not his father’s trueborn son, so she ruled Narnia after Emberred’s death.

Silksheen lived seventy-three years and begat Firmfoot and Stronghilt: and while she was queen, there were rumors of a Marsh-wiggle who prophesied in the north. Yet when Silksheen heard of this, she said, “What news is it to hear a Marsh-wiggle proclaiming doom? Let him alone.” And after she had reigned fourteen years, Silksheen died. And though Firmfoot was her elder son, the queen favored Stronghilt; so he ruled Narnia in his brother’s place.

Stronghilt was forty-nine years old when he began to reign, and he begat three sons, Goldbrow, Silverbrow, and Bronzebrow. All three were tall warriors, strongly built and with power in their arms. And once his sons were grown, the king said to himself, “Since the gods have blessed me with three such fine sons, surely I must put them to some mighty use.” So he assembled a great army not of Narnians, but of cruels, hags, incubuses, wraiths, efreets, wer-wolves, Ettin-giants, and all manner of other evil creatures from the wild lands to the north. And with that army, he marched against Archenland; and his sons were with him. But Aslan caused a great wall of cloud to come down in the mountains where Narnia’s southern boarder was, and nothing could pass through it.

So Stronghilt turned east and set his sights on the Seven Isles, but when the king and his armies set sail, Aslan caused a wall of fire to rise above the waters and encircle the Narnian coast as far as could be measured, and nothing could pass through it.

Then, in despair, Stronghilt turned his gaze west to Telmar, but before his armies could advance, his son Goldbrow slit his throat while he slept, and thus, having reigned twelve years, Stronghilt died.

And Goldbrow lived forty years and begat no children: and having reigned seven years, he died. And his brother Silverbrow ruled Narnia.

And Silverbrow lived forty years and begat no children: and having reigned seven years, he died. And his brother Bronzebrow ruled Narnia.

And Bronzebrow lived forty years and begat only a daughter, born in midwinter, whom he called Swanwhite: and having reigned seven years, he died.

Now Swanwhite was fifteen years old when she began to reign, and her beauty was so great that any pool into which she gazed held her reflection for a year and a day. And as she grew, the people of Narnia said of her, “Here, at last, is another great ruler from the line of kings.”

On the day she was crowned, a winged horse came before Swanwhite weeping great, horsey tears. It was a lovely summer day, perfectly befitting the beauty of the young queen. Yet the horse wept and spoke the Lion’s words: “Judgement comes like a sledge through snow. O my cold and lonely one, the King’s heart breaks for you.”

The queen laughed and heeded her not. It was a beautiful, gentle day and she did not think herself cold or lonely. She replied, “Be merry, fair friend; today I would have joy in all the land.”

And Swanwhite reigned in joy for a time, but in the sixth year of her reign the White Witch came out of the north at last, and at her command were all the armies of evil creatures that King Stronghilt had assembled. She began her conquest in the far northwest, and when rumors of it reached the queen she laughed and heeded them not.

But in the final days of Swanwhite’s reign over Narnia, the White Witch tore down Queen Rachel’s walls which had stood for seven hundred years around the Tree of Protection. The Tree itself she turned to stone with her wand; and her armies trampled it to pieces.

When word of the Tree’s destruction reached Swanwhite at Cair Paravel, she mustered fifty Narnian warriors and led them to Stone Table Hill, hoping to take the Witch by surprise while she was performing dark rituals there unguarded. In this, Swanwhite failed. The Witch turned her warriors into stone and had the statues carried away; but Swanwhite herself was bound and gagged and the White Witch slew her on the Stone Table.

Swanwhite lived twenty-five years and begat no children: and having reigned nine years, she died. And the White Witch ruled over Narnia.

#ok gang here it is #i can't believe I actually wrote this #but that said i stand by it #i was aiming for narnia in the style of biblical histories hope that translated okay #also had a lot of fun with the names #and a lot of little in-jokes and references to fairytales and mythology #slid a couple of my friends in there (in modified form)#but tried to maintain the spirit of Narnia's world ie i did not take it nearly as dark as the actual biblical passages I'm pulling from #no child sacrifice only one murdered prophet #anyway #there was a really surprising amount of hype for this so lmk what you think #i will post it on ao3 a little later if you'd rather read it there (bc it got loooong)#also lmk if you're at all interested in the timeline and/or the excel spreadsheet 😜#narnia #pontifications and creations #leah stories

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ramosdefloress · 7 months ago

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HUH

#u can find it on qsmp info channel btw!!#can't believe we're finally getting canonical beach episode #hype hype hype #also it's so good to have like these events #bc it technically means things are getting on it's way #“the stars are aligning” would say fit em cee #aka tio Fábio if you get me #idk i'm happy #I just hope this event doesn't have like three persons #qsmp #qsmpblr #qsmp summer festival #qsmp beach episode #<- if you allow me

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wiredalienvampire · 6 months ago

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< be me

< check the dhmis tag to see how the fandom is doing

< see a post stating the dhmis pilot that you have been waiting for nearly 6 years for is being shown again at Sundance

< continue scrolling down the tag

< turns out it was a mistake and they were actually showing the dhmis short "creative" at Sundance

>kill me

#Sorry to use the 4/chan format there was no other way I can describe how I'm feeling right now #I haven't been keeping up with dhmis in nearly two years #But this is the fucking pilot we are talking about!! Something I have been eagerly waiting for since 2018!!!#I can't describe how upset and miserable I am right now #You can't just hype up your audience with a trailer of a new project yr working on.#Only to not show the fucking thing!! It's not fair!!!#I understand that Becky and Joe were unhappy with it but so many people including me just want to see it in full!! You can't do this to me #I do believe the whole theory about them not being able to release it bc of legal issues or whatever misty sparkles said #But like it's getting unbearable to deal with. I can't take it anymore #I'm not angry at either becky or Joe. I'm sure it's not their fault #But it hurts #Dhmis #*ramble txt #Delete later

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brltpop · 8 months ago

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Okay so picture this:

> the biggest band in your country

> the biggest band in your country who only tours big venues and/or major cities

> the biggest band in your country who only tours big venues and major cities were hired to perform in your little town

> the biggest band in your country (...) were hired to perform in your little town FREE OF CHARGE for all attendees

> the biggest band in your country (...) were hired to perform in your little town FREE OF CHARGE for all attendees and it's on an open air venue which happens to be TWO BLOCKS away from your house

> the biggest band in your country is basically performing outside your house and you're not there

That's me, I'm the person who didn't go to said show

#guys i just can't explain it #why didn't i go??????? they're genuinely playing RIGHT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE #it's so incredibly loud from here you wouldn't even believe #i mean sure they're an amazing band and all but i just couldn't bring myself to go? like i wasn't THAT hyped #but now that its happening I'm like... you should've gone. like. it was free #shit was probably PACKED as hell but jesus... two blocks awY!!1 #rambless

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ghostbustingreen · 1 year ago

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LUIGI'S MANSION 2 REMAKE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#( ;; ooc ⦙ irl weegi )#THAT DIRECT WAS SO GOOD???? I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT SO MUCH MARIO FOOD #I'M SO HYPED #I AM DRAGGING YOU ALL DOWN TO PLAY SCARESCRAPER WITH ME

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saintedbythestorm · 2 years ago

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Dad decided to help me out, and like an absolute legend gave me money to buy two ace attorney games right before the eshop threw in the towel. I don't have words...

Thank you dad 😭❤️

#I'll never understand how tf you put up with me but i love you 😭❤️#now i got quite the nice little collection at the very last minute.#i still think it's a damn tragedy they close the shops but... at least i got my hand on some good stuff.#and the ace attorney games are great so I'm super hype to have more of those!#can't believe dad saved my butt like that... genuinely a bit overwhelmed by that move.#ryder speaking

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jaythelay · 1 month ago

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The thing is, why would you want to be a Teacher?

Lemme put it to you this way, ya go to college to learn to teach kids and think it's gonna be a good time. Turns out the pay is dogshit and the working conditions unmanageable. The fuckin janitor makes more than you with more time off.

That is just a recipe for hiring and creating abusers. If mcdonald's was a daycare, they'd pay more Knowing it'd keep abusers and riff raff away and increase chances of a good candidate. Y'know, to be around children without parental supervision for hours n hours? Might be worth being strict with who you hire?

My solution is fire all teachers, raise pay, lower classroom sizes, more time off for student and teacher alike, take a year to close schools to rehire. Then we gotta work on that silly ol' "Children are being shot dead in school" problem. Y'know, if that ever becomes important to america.

As is, if ya raise pay ya just gave a bonus to the job that enables, creates, and rewards abuse, filled with established abusers. They will not give up their job benefit of being able to excert too much control over children just because conditions and pay are better, it's apart of the job to abuse children and they will continue to no matter what. Fire em.

As far as how kids are behaving today compared to my time, which was dreadfully peaceful and thus easier for staff to abuse children, I imagine it has to do with dogshit staff and dogshit conditions and dogshit protection alongside dogshit education and while boomers scream about the sanctity of life (clumps of cells in other people's bodies) they're also ensuring even more escalatory school shootings to keep growing.

So you're forced to be somewhere filled with abusers, surrounded by enablers, and timmy's dad hit timmy a lil too hard and now he's got a gun in school. Yeah I'd not take anything seriously in school either, it's an absolute fucking joke, we made a place to force children into that is now a pachinko machine of "Who Dies? And How Horrifically?"

We just had a non-binary child murdered in school and governor and principal alike danced on their grave. Cmon. Tell me otherwise at this point that school isn't a pachinko "who dies?" filled with established abusers. When the government is helping a child be murdered, school no longer is safe for your child. Simple as.

Don't get me started on how we handled Covid, we just doomed a generation to not taking diseases seriously by forcing them back to public school practically in the middle of the pandemic. Fucking stupid shit. Oh and if your gram gram died of covid? Best bet a kid is gonna blame school if they manage a thought that far. I would. Absolutely I would. THE place for diesease to spread and ya forced children into it to spread back to their homes killing family. I'm speechless. But don't take it seriously folks! It's just the flu! Just send your kids into the disease machine to come home with it! This place isn't a fucking joke at all!

No your anecdotal "Cool Reddit Teacher" is not common, they are uncommon and usually in well running blue states. Not red states or dying blue states. If you're in a good school, congrats on the unicorn, just understand that unicorn ain't anything but a severe rarity I guarantee only you can relate to.

I kinda approve of how the youth are in school tbh. No room for a teacher to try and fuck with you because their life is more miserable than your child-self's own. Just saying, if ya want the respect of your students, be a better person?

Or accept the system is so fundamentally broken that the generation you're dealing with has already got more to deal with in their future than a doubling of your past. Your dumbass ain't the target in a school shooting 9/10 times. You're paid. They're wasting their time being in absolute danger.

Undeniably they're wasting their time, since anytime the topic of teaching 'how to write checks' is met with "but you'd sleep through it" Good point, cancel education folks, the teacher just said their job is frivilous and I say we listen to them this one time.

Clearly this topic was solely about checks and not the demonstrably broken system we have in place that doesn't prepare you for quite literally anything. Cool place to end a topic, cancel school because no one actually uses it, got ya. Smart. (This happens so often I'm convinced it's an open secret between teachers that they just want the power, since money or education clearly ain't apart of it)

Regardless, not everywhere teaches the same things and as a teacher that shouldn't have evaded your awareness, but it did, because it further helps normalize and enable how you treat people with no way to defend themselves. If education isn't important, then what is? Obviously, abuse. Otherwise you'd not make my point more abundant by doubling down your belief that kids are stupid and the problem (and thus are deservedly abuseable, just finishing your thought.)

Sincerely believe parents told their kids "Don't take any shit from teachers, they fucked with me and my friends all the time, fuck with them back." and ya'll gotta deal with it. Sucks if you're caught in the crossfire...but like...you chose the job that creates abusers and dead children? A place that enables bullying and eggs bullies to target specific kids? Not sure why you'd be upset at your own decision making- like you probably went to this school? Wait, you weren't targeted and had everyone supporting you? Oh that's why you have the wrong opinion about school, makes sense now.

Anyways fuck public school, teachers are barely more trustable than a cop. Kids are uppity because there's no point to being in a dangerous place that admits it has no purpose and given the conditions, only hires and retains abusers, in a system dying from R interference, they elect to blame the children, for the job they chose not to really fight for when it mattered politically.

Yeah nah, I'm still on the side of the little scared people who don't know enough about the world to recognize that their neurodivision causes an untold amount of rage in your fucking entire body to the point ya try getting them arrested and start stalking them to the point of them becoming a NEET, and these days, your ass is on "THE" list and my ass is laughing at it, thank ya for coming to this deliberately awful ted talk, believe children over teachers pls. There's little point not to given being a teacher or cop is less respectable than being a janitor tbh.

Also google Kids4Kash and see how fucking bad it got in my time. I have no sympathy for teachers today. Sucks, but ya'll ensured parents told their kids to stand up to you. Maybe next time find a better career than child abuser if ya can't handle it? Just a thought. :) Better, respectable career options is all. :) Try becoming a Veteranarian? :) Oh wait, too much empathy/sympathy required for that, guess ya gotta be homeless. oh well.

#rant #teachers #school #Bro people say they have nightmares thinking they gotta go to school or messed up at school #I wish I had such mundanity but my nightmares are usually being stalked #There's so much that happened in my school I can't even say #but sincerely ask your children if they're okay #like holy shit nobody listened to kids in my time #no one. You were fully alone. If not for my Ma who knows where I'd be #Sincerely believe today's youth are the way they are because the same teachers potentially still work at the school their parents went to #or if not regardless. Don't let your kid be abused #I'd be hype as hell if I got a call saying my son or daughter was in trouble for disrespecting authority or some dumbshit #or hell better yet. They got in a fight standing up for their friend. And the school wants only them in trouble #I'd laugh and tell them to get a chair out for me because I'm coming to sit and let out some pent up rage #but sincerely do not tell your kids to trust teachers #You yourself have a difficult job of finding people to trust #a job title is meaningless haha #Your kid should know when they're being targeted by a teacher and what to do in that case #and you as a parent better be ready to call a lawyer every 5 minutes because that school will force you to get one eventually #seriously if you had a good school? You should speak up and say those are the standards you expect from all schools #not blindly believe all schools are like your own haha cmon dude please #So often people blame the victim of abuse in school. I need to to know there's a paint bucket thick amount of digust for you coming from me #if I poured it on your head it'd encapsulate all the way down to your toes #a cacoon of inhumanity I will get drunk off of piss on just to light aflame and wander away without a second thought #10 feet underground with no air would be too peaceful for you. Sincerely.#anyways #trust kids. Fire teachers. Raise pay. More time off. A parent in each classroom would be nice #It's funny how R's want to abolish education and L's think it needs completel revamped but trust teachers everyone!!! As if. I don't trust #mcdonald's cashier's with my child. Do you? You're safer with them actually than a teacher #there's consequences for one thing...

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labetalol · 1 year ago

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while i handed a patient his change he held my hand a little and was like by the way you have really pretty eyes and i was sooooo stunned he was like your eyes they're pretty and i'm like oh... thanks.

#i am so down on myself i just can't believe people giving me compliments that i actually think i mishear them #same thing with a tech who said you're so pretty. i'm like um... no you are and she's like aww #like i just can't fathom it. yet here i am near midnight thinking about that patient. did he just like my eyes or liked that i #saved him 10 bucks by running his amoxil under a discount card? or what. i am so fucking lonely LOL #and i can't pretend it doesn't have to do with that one guy. he used to hype me up all the time #he said i'd make a guy really lucky someday. he never believed me when i said no one tries to get with me #yet here i am bitchless and getting off to harmless compliments from insurance-less guys post-surgery #might kms later! goodnight #personal

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akaashikoutarou · 1 year ago

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A CONDITION CALLED LOVE IS GETTING AN ANIME ADAPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#when I tell you I nearly screamed #i'm literally so hype I can't even believe it #i love that manga so much #yes to more shoujo manga adaptations!#no please give me my do not call it mystery adaption too :)#text

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iamred-iamyellow · 4 months ago

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⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Close To You

♥ masterlist

♥ pairing: oscar piastri x lily zneimer x f!singer!webber!reader

♥ synopsis: as the daughter of mark webber you got to know oscar piastri pretty quick and soon enough the two of you were dating. no one had known that you both were also dating lily, leading everyone to believe the leaked pictures of her and Oscar was evidence he was cheating on you. they couldn’t have been more wrong

♥ smau - fc: gracie abrams - none of the pictures are mine

♥ warnings: swearing and hate comments !!!

♥ a/n: my first poly fic! ty to bestie liz and cleo for hyping me up <3

liked by aussiegrit, oliviarodrigo, taylorswift and 656,305 more

y/n.webber channel that sad energy into a song queen

view comments

user8 hope you're doing well 💛

user3 ilyy

user6 pls shes so unserious 😭

user5 that's so real

user9 wait so did her and her boyfriend break up?

user2 I'm pretty sure. everyone's been speculating it and they haven't been seen together in a long time

user1 is she making a new album ???

user10 liv and tay in the likess 🫶

user7 I still can't believe she's mark's daughter omggg

user12 those family genetics 😍

user2 we love you <3

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by oscarpiastri, oliviarodrigo, and 583,694 more

y/n.webber cut my hair in the way that i've wanted

view comments

user9 change my number and bury my wallet !!!

user8 augusta <3

user12 LOVE

mclarenf1 we'll see you at the GP

y/n.webber <3

user10 shut up y/n is gonna be there?

user6 I thought she had a concert that day?

user1 @/user6 she has one the night before :)

user5 no bc how is she so pretty

user13 oscar in the likes 👀

user7 GORGEOUS

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by y/n.webber, user7, user12 and 502,669 more

f1gossip mark, y/n, and oscar are ready for the australian grand prix

view comments

y/n.webber @/aussiegrit I'm starting to think you like Oscar more than me :(

oscarpiastri he does ❤️

yourusername 🖕

user8 now kiss

user14 enemies to lovers

user4 my favorite australian trio

user1 why'd he have to shave his beard 😔

user9 THE CAT

user2 oscar and mark pookie off

user10 everyone pray for an oscar home race podium

user3 🕯️oscar home race win 🕯️

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by oscarpiastri, aussiegrit, and 703,562 more

y/n.webber date night <3

view comments

user7 I love how she doesn't even have to tell us she's dating oscar because we all just know

user9 THEM WATCHING TANGLED 😭🫶

user3 oscar getting her lilies :')

y/n.webber actually I got him lilies

oscarpiastri 🧡

*liked by original poster*

user4 this is the cutest shit I've ever seen

user1 mark in the likesss looks like oscar has the stamp of approval

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by y/n.webber, aussiegrit, and 750,683 more

oscarpiastri lando crashed our date

view comments

landonorris I did not "crash" your date I just happened to be there.

oscarpiastri as if you didn't follow us

y/n.webber @/landonorris you LITERALLY crashed into the back of my kart

mclarenf1 lando we talked about your internet stalking problem.

user8 PLEASE 💀

user6 why'd they have to call him out like that 😭

user2 the admins are my favorite part of the f1 cinematic universe

-A Few Months Later-

liked by aarondessner, taylorswift, and 984,059 more

y/n.webber The Secret Of Us is out now! The songs on this album are a collection of my life these past few months and I’m so excited to share them with you all. Special thank you to @/aarondessner and @/taylorswift I love you both 💛

view comments

user1 I hope she rips oscar to shreds

user7 y/n better than revenge era

user9 !!!

user3 girl you can do so much better than o***r

user12 I'm so ready to scream and cry to this

user2 I cannot believe he cheated on her

user16 out of all the guys on the grid OSCAR?!?!

user11 kitten I'll be honest I'm still not over good riddance 😔

user8 LMAO

user9 so true 😭

user15 hyped af for the taylor collab

user16 the fact that she's the daughter of mark, the man who supported him since day one and he STILL cheated on her is CRAZYY

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by taylorswift, oliviarodrigo, and 985,750 more

y/n.webber throwback to my time at last year's era's tour. I'm so glad to be back 🩷

view comments

taylorswift were so glad to have you <3

*liked by original poster*

oliviarodrigo miss youuu

yourusername I miss you too babes

user9 "and you knew my last love let me down" OSCARRRRAHHH

user7 AND I BET HES AT HER PLACE RIGHT NOW

user10 I'm so excited to see you

user16 he fumbled so hard

user4 we love you <3

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, and 1,194,203 more

y/n.webber I understand that, without my agreement, @/f1gossip put out a post a week ago that said Oscar Piastri was cheating on me. This is wrong and I am in a happy relationship with both Oscar and Lily. He did not cheat on me.

view comments

lilyzneimer I love you 🩷

y/n.webber I love you more

user7 😨

user1 I'm not even sure what to say

user12 I'm so sorry oscar we weren't familiar with your game 😭

user3 I-

user6 in true bi panic fashion

user4 FUCK 😭

user19 everyone say sorry Oscar

user2 sorry oscar

user5 we're sorry Oscar :(

user13 WE DIDN'T KNOW WE SWEAR

user10 sorry Oscar 😔

user21 💖💜💙

user23 the @ is such a boss bitch move

user8 saying sorry to Oscar online isn't enough I need to revoke my statements in a court of law

user7 same

liked by lilyzneimer, y/n.webber, alexandrasaintmleux and 884,472 more oscarpiastri flowers for my favs 💐

view comments

y/n.webber my loves 🩷

lilyzneimer 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

user7 my favorite throuple

user23 as if you weren't hating on oscar yesterday

user7 and I am deeply ashamed

user12 we said we're sorry :(

user6 yea oscar x lily x y/n are cute but wheres mark x fernando x taylor

user9 as in swift? 😭

user6 yes.

alexandrasaintmleux you three are so cute

y/n.webber <3

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5sospenguinqueen · 7 months ago

Text

Post Space Tension | Charles Leclerc x McLaren! Reader

Summary: Struggling with the new frame of her relationship, Y/N decides a visit to her sister is in order. Charles realises that not having you close is even worse than you beating him.

Warnings: Swearing. Female reader. Verstappen! Reader.

I know you guys wanted angst but the doe eyes got to me.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 4

Main Masterlist

━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━

YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others

YourUserName a lovely visit with my favourite sibling @ victoriaverstappen, and an even lovelier surprise (p.s. Max already knew so no, I'm not spoiling it for him)

5,657 comments

User 1 charles in the likes but not in the comments

maxverstappen1 stop trying to get our nephews to like you more than me

→ YourUserName they already do (even the unborn one)

maxverstappen1 also, how am i not the favourite sibling. i listen to all your boy troubles

→ User 2 boy troubles!!!

→ User 3 all??? how many boys are there 😒

landonorris can't believe you had lunch without me

→ georgerussell63 really don't help yourself, mate

lance_stroll not the burger a week before a race

→ YourUserName don't tell my trainer

→ lance_stroll too late

mclaren future papaya racer

→ maxverstappen1 no.

User 4 so, are you and charles still together? the world is dying to know if he was caught cheating or not

→ User 5 apparently they're still together but taking time apart

→ User 6 source: trust me bro

victoriaverstappen we loved seeing you but he keeps asking for uncy sha so maybe bring a visitor next time?? 🤍

liked by charles_leclerc

→ YourUserName can't believe i'm not enough :( but at least i'm introducing him to disappointment early on

→ User 7 not her sister spilling the tea

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User 8 so, does this mean LeStappen are back in the same country?

User 9 how's he going to keep his distance when they're on the same track

User 10 i feel tension brewing

User 11 anyone see arthur's latest tweet?

→ User 9 no why?

→ User 11 he posted that pic of charles and that woman but from another angle. arthur was with them that day and it looks like arthur's holding the woman's hand?

→ User 8 so charles wasn't on a date with that woman?!?! chay/n shippers rise!

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YourUserName just posted

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon and others

YourUserName 'cause i'm back in the saddle again tagged: landonorris, danielricciardo

6,456 comments

danielricciardo alternate caption was 'me and pookies' but lando and i talked her down from that

→ landonorris you're just jealous that i'm pookie #1

landonorris 🔥🔥

redbullracing we still think you'd look better in navy

→ mclaren back, back, i say 🤺

→ scuderiaferrari please, we all know red is her colour

liked by charles_leclerc

→ User 12 we see you charles

landonorris @ redbullracing stop trying to steal my teammate

→ arthur_leclerc stop trying to steal my brother's girlfriend

(comment deleted)

→ User 13 we saw that, arthur

skysportsf1 just posted

liked by YourUserName, maxverstappen1 and others

skysportsf1 read the latest interview from the Verstappen twins, and how racing helped strengthen their bond

tagged: YourUserName, maxverstappen1

7,905 comments

f1 our favourite twins

YourUserName wow, we look good. thanks for having us, it was so nice to be able to hype each other up and get paid for it

maxverstappen1 can't believe they left out the part where i said i only like you because i beat you

→ YourUserName because you told them not to? stop trying to make out like you hate me so people think you're tough. everyone saw you cry when i won

danielricciardo alternate caption was 'join us as we chat with racer, y/n verstappen and her lesser-known brother, max'

→ YourUserName he threatened to sue if they used that title

→ maxverstappen1 i hate you both

lance_stroll only read for y/n

alex_albon love how they tried to make max sound good at padel

georgerussell63 does anyone know who either of these people are? it's amazing who they class as celebrities these days

User 13 living for the grid picking on them (max)

mclaren going to need these pics blown up and hung in my living room

→ charles_leclerc agreed

→ redbullracing charles is all of us

User 14 not charles trying to hide in the comments

━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━

Part 4 will be the final part. Thank you for coming on the journey of self-indulgent fics x

Tag list: @mehrmonga @luvsforme @lemon-lav @missenclod @halleest @formula1mount @k4marina @evie-119 @letmeseeyougotowork @sleepybrokenmelle @eiaaasamantha @tinyhrry @janeholt3 @allywthsr @callsignwidow @raizelchrysanderoctavius @prudyhoo @valentinanappipage @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @delululeclerc @e-nonsense @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @thecubanator2 @butterfliesflyaroundmymind @kqliie @sweate-r-weathe-r @lifeless-firefly @woozarts @silverxxs-world @personwhoisther @eugene-emt-roe @anthonykatebridgerton @entr4p3 @carpediem241108 @forevercaffeinated-lee @youre-on-your-ownkid @xyzstar

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thevoidstaredback · 7 months ago

Text

Okay, so, crisis averted. Both of them, really. Red Robin had not asked or attempted to get any more of Danny's drink and the World Ending Crisis was less World Ending and more World Threatening. Either way, no one is hyped up in lethal amounts of caffeine and the world is in no more pieces than it had been before.

That brings attention to a new problem, though. It's uniquely Danny's problem and Constantine and Zatanna and Deadman won't stop laughing at him. He's also pretty sure that Raven is laughing at him in the privacy of her mind, so that's making him feel worse.

The problem is that every single hero that had been at the meeting a week ago that was not a part of the JLD has been overly concerned about him.

So what if he half died when he was fourteen and therefore will never look over either fourteen or eighteen? So what if he consumes enough caffeine to kill an elephant within a few minutes? What is he gonna do, die? That's not a real threat as long as he only fights as Phantom.

Ignoring the fact that he can, in fact, get hurt to the point of near death as Phantom. It's not like anyone knows that, though! Besides, ghosts run on god rules. They can't die, only fade when forgotten. People aren't likely to forget about most ghosts, though, even if they can't remember their names.

He's not gonna share that, though. Let Batman keep his contingency that won't work because the only contingency that will work for Phantom is the one he made himself. Tried and tested! He's marked it off of his Bingo Card.

Anyway. Heros and their kids/proteges have been trying to track him down for the entire week. He can't risk even leaving the House of Mysteries because the Supers are all probably listening out for him and they can't hear him through magic. It sucks. He just wants to go get a cup of coffee as Danny. The second he leaves, though, the Supers will be on him like bloodhounds. He'd leave as Danny, but the rest of the JLD don't know what he looks like as Danny and he'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Being stuck as Phantom was going to start causing issues to his human half if he doesn't get to leave soon.

Should he risk it? Is coffee that won't kill him really worth risking the Supers finding out his civilian identity? Sure, they wouldn't tell anyone, but he didn't like the idea of someone being able to pick him out of a crowd when all he wanted to do was blend in. It's why he avoided Gotham and Bludhaven, actually, but that's both self explanatory and another story for another time.

"You're still here?" Zatanna sat on the couch beside him. "You're normally gone by now. You can't not be tired of us yet."

He sighed and sunk down into the couch slightly. "Believe me, I'm tired of being stuck here, but I can't leave. I can't leave as a human because you guys don't know what I look like and, no offense, but I'd like to keep it that way. I can't leave as I am now because Superman will be on my ass quicker than I can blink!" He whined this time, "I just want a cup of coffee."

"What about your special brew?" Raven asked, coming into the room.

"I want to drink coffee as a human. That stuff will kill me if I drink it as a human."

"At least you know your limits."

"That sounded like a dig at someone, Z."

"It was."

"Why don't you just go out under a protection spell?" Raven offered, "We could cast one over you and you could leave. Superman can't hear through magic, so he won't be able to tell. Neither will Superboy."

Danny thought for a second. "You're a genius, Raven! Has anyone ever told you that?"

"A few times," she blushed.

"Well, it needs to be said more!"

Zatanna laughed. "Alright, kid, let's get you outside before you drive yourself crazy."

Practically vibrating in place, Danny waited for the protection spell to settle over him. The second it did, he was out the door and wandering the streets of whatever city the House of Mysteries decided to drop him as Danny instead of Phantom.

"Who are you," was not the question or voice he wanted to hear the second he stepped into the open as himself.

"Danny," he squeaked out through his absolute panic. He didn't dare turn around.

The sound of fabric moving minutely clues him in to the second person behind him. What the hell were these two doing out? It's the middle of the day and there's no attacks going on anywhere in Gotham!

"Where did you come from?" Robin asked.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! This was really bad! Why did the House drop him *here* of all places? Does it *want* him to die again? It was very painful the first time, thank you very much! "Illinois?"

"Was that a question or an answer?" Why is Red Robin here now?!

"An-an answer?"

"Ah, you guys are scaring the little guy!" That was Nightwing. They're surrounding him! Why is Nightwing here? This is Gotham, not Bludhaven. "Give him some room to breathe."

They did not, in fact, give him room to breathe. Maybe coming outside was a bad idea. If he gets out of this no more dead than he already was, he was going to move to the middle of nowhere and become a hermit. Smallville is a town in the middle of nowhere, right? He'll retire as Phantom and move to Smallville until the people get suspicious and burn him as a witch-!

Maybe moving to a big city would be a better idea. Or locking himself in the basement of the House of Mysteries. Yeah, yeah that's a good idea.

"-even listening?"

Oh shit. They were still talking to him! Now is not the time to panic! "Gottagobye!" And then he was running.

Good job not panicking, Danny.

Part 1 Part 3

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jeonginsleftcheek · 6 months ago

Text

First kiss with Stray Kids

genre: fluff, suggestive

description: you and skz member went out on a few dates and it's time to share your first kiss. what's it like to kiss skz members for the first time?

a/n: gn!reader, okay i'm supposed to be asleep but i got this idea, enjoy?🤍

Chan:

Oh, Chan probably plans the kiss the night before your date. He'll lay in bed and flip through different scenarios of you two kissing. He keeps overthinking and he can't sleep(what's new tho?). He probably ends up imagining you two married with kids and starts giggling n shit. When you actually meet up, he's freaking nervous the whole time. You notice and if you ask him what's wrong he'll probably come up with an excuse cause he wants to wait till the end of the date for the kiss. Will ask you 'can i kiss you?' when that time comes and get shy when you say yes but there's no backing out now. Will kiss you gently like you're some sort of delicate flower and absolutely freak the f out on the inside because hello??? You're kissing??? That first kiss will be sweet and innocent, but get ready for the second one cause now that he broke the ice, it's gonna get heated.

Lee Know:

He wants to kiss you so badly every time you're together, but for some reason he just gets so nervous about it so he can't initiate it. When you're out on a date he will look at your lips the whole time while you talk and lick his lips unconsciously. You notice ofcourse, and since he loves teasing you, you're happy you finally have a chance to tease him a little. He catches himself staring at your lips and looks up at your eyes, his ears are red and he chuckles nervously. You say 'you wanna kiss me or something?' and he's mortified but he wont show that, he'll just say 'so what if i do?'. That's cue for you to smirk and lean in, then stop right before you actually touch just to see him panic once more because he's adorable when he's flustered, okay? He'll close the gap then and you'll get a sweet kiss, full of warmness and smiles.

Changbin:

Hypes himself up, actually thinks he'll initiate the kiss but when you look at him like that he gets all shy and melts and you have to lean in first. He'll lean in too then, with his cute half smirk, eyes trained on your lips. He's kinda stiff at first (because he's panicking and can't believe you're actually kissing him) but will relax after some time and put his hand on the back of your head to hold you in place so he can keep kissing you. Gets bolder as you reciprocate and slips a little tongue in. Gets shy again when you part and make eye contact. (He's giggling and kicking his feet fr). Will ask for kisses every second of the day from that moment on and if you deny him, he'll get all sulky and dramatic. (How dare you?)

Hyunjin:

I think he'd also be shy about it but he would muster up enough courage to lean in first and kiss you. He wants your first kiss to be extra romantic so he takes his time and kisses the corners of your lips, then your upper lip, then your bottom lip before he actually presses those pretty lips into yours. You melt because how are someone's lips that soft?! (Hyunjin thinks the same for you) And trust me he may look calm and collected in that moment but my man is freaking out on the inside. Gets more courageous and slips his tongue in and just massages yours gently at first. Then he tilts your head, his big hands holding your face and he just starts making out with you and boy oh boy it's a lot. By the time you part for air, you both look disheveled and flushed but can you help it? You both got really into it. Now that he tasted you, he wont ever hesitate to kiss you like that for hours.

Jisung:

He will wait for you to initiate it (he will throw not so subtle signs at you tho) and when you do, this man will explore your mouth with his tongue like he needs your air to breathe. Messy, sloppy, teeth clanking, hands roaming around, kisses you until you're literally heaving for a breath. Bite his bottom lip and he'll whimper into your mouth. I know, sounds like a hell of a first kiss but I feel like he just wants to go all in because he's literally infatuated with you. Now that you've kissed for the first time, you're obligated to give him kisses every 2 minutes. Cause like what are you doing if you're not kissing him, right? You don't really need air to breathe, right?

Felix:

I feel like he isn't shy about things like this in real life, especially if he knows you reciprocate his feelings so he'll just go for it. Puts his hand on your cheek and starts with gently pressing his lips with yours before moving them (will probably suck your bottom lip between his). Definitely looks like the type that will push his tongue in just a few moments later, leaving you kinda shocked that he's so bold but that's just Felix, I feel like he has no problem showing you he loves you in any form of physical love language (wink wink). He'll kiss you until your breathless, his tongue moving in all directions (preview for later?). Will probably ask 'was that good?' or 'did you like that?' with a smirk. He knows it was good, he just wants to hear you say it.

Seungmin:

His first kiss would be timid and gentle, he would lean in first but he'd let you lead and set the pace. He would look so calm and collected but he is freaking the hell out on the inside. He can't believe you're kissing him. Will put his arms around your waist or shoulders and hold you closer to his body because he feels so happy that you like him that much. If you throw in a little tongue you'll feel him clench his hands into fists because you'll literally be the death of him, why are you doing that? He reciprocates, still lets you lead (for now). Run your fingers through his hair and touch his neck while you kiss him, he will *burst*. When you part he smiles, the widest smile you've seen on his face (you fall in love again because hello beautiful??) and his ears are red and you want to scream and pinch his cheeks cause he's just too adorable.

Jeongin:

My man hypes himself up, believes he'll be fearless, he'll come in and swoop you off your feet. But when he's actually in front of you, his braveness will fade and be replaced with nervousness. He asks if he can kiss you and you both lean in at the same time resulting in either your head bumping or teeth clashing but it's fine if it's awkward the first time, it only gets better from there. So when you lean in again he kisses you so gently that you genuinely feel like you're in one of those cheesy tv scenes where time stops. Presses a few fast gentle kisses into your lips while smiling and when he leans back his face is as red as a tomato. Get ready for the future though, cause this boy is a fast learner and once he overcomes the shyness you're in for a hell of a treat.

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