#I'm so glad you're all out there
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Sending my love to everyone whose diet consists of chicken nuggets, plain hamburgers, macaroni and cheese, or spaghettio's. People who can only comfortably drink soda, sports drinks, or juice, I love you. People who need to feel their food with their hands before they can put it in their mouth, I love you. I’m so proud of you all for feeding yourselves and staying hydrated. I see you, you’re valid, and you're doing amazing.
#food#text#in this house we respect all of our siblings who have taste and texture aversions#food can be very hard sometimes#I know not everyone is willing to get it#but you and your experiences are enough#you're worth the time and the effort to get things right#every time you special order something to your tastes I am proud of you#double checking your food to make sure it's right is so important#I'm so glad you're all out there#happy eating my friends
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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A bunch of webcomic Ralseis! I've been wanting to do fanart for all of these comics for a while and I've got an upcoming page of my comic that requires a mix of styles/shading, so I thought this would be good practice!
Eldritchrune by @lynxgriffin
Looking Glasses by @ferronickel
The Chara Timeline by @lilybug-02
Reconnecting by @purplebehittindifferent
Twin Runes by @akanemnon
Flat colors under the cut because I think you can see some of the stylistic differences better without shading.
#deltarune#utdr#looking glasses#ralsei#ferrousart#sorry recon!ralsei and tr!ralsei I think you're probably not that short but the composition worked better this way#this was so fun! it was really cool trying to figure out everyone's styles#there are bits of all of them that I really enjoyed getting to play around with#and working out ways for my absurd lighting to work in different styles was a fun challenge#I still need to do proper fanart for some of these comics but at least this is a start#lg!rals looks a bit uncanny next to all these cartoony styles. I'm glad er!ralsei is looming back there to balance things out
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Arendelle
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#arendelle#scenery#my gif#it's nighttime when you first arrive in this world and you get to see the auroras shimmering in the sky#it's very beautiful but once you reach a certain point in the game it becomes daytime and you're not able to view this world at night again#that's pretty unique and i can't think of any other worlds that are like that#except maybe the kingdom of corona when you see the lanterns fly at night but that's just for a short segment#at least san fransokyo gives you a choice to view the city during night or day#anyways i'm glad i had an older save file that i was able to return back to so i could get shots of this world at night#i would have included elsa's castle but every angle i tried looked really awkward and bad lol#i don't use mods when collecting footage so some things are out of my hands when trying to get a nice shot#how sad is it that the interior of her castle is fully modeled (you can see right through the front doors) but you can't go inside#all of the characters stand in a line outside the castle and i wonder why they couldn't just hang out indoors#let me in. let me innnnnn
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*gasp* ITS THE PERSON WITH THE SICK DOG ANTHRO DESINGS AND INTERESTING AS FUCK LORE WHO'S ART I FOUND UNCREDITED ON PINTEREST!! I HAVE FOUND YOU IN THE WILD! FUCK YEAH
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#hello hello!#glad to hear you found me!#and thank you for the compliments!#how did you know about the lore though? I mostly save lore rambles for tumblr only#answered#fox0war#I still don't love the fact my art gets uploaded to pinterest without credits or proper sourcing#but it's nice to hear people out there are liking it#if you wish to get your anthro dog art fresh from the oven I'm also on twitter (kalpeakoira) and bsky (canisalbus)#and there's also instagram (kalpeakoira) but I consistently fail at keeping it up to date so it's mostly inactive#but tumblr has the best coverage out of all these you're not missing out on anything if you only follow me here#oh wait except the mature artwork I can't post that here tumblr doesn't allow it
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THANK YOU ALL FOR 143 FOLLOWERS SEEMINGLY OVERNIGHT WHAT THE FUCK. WHERE DID YOU PEOPLE COME FROM. thank you all for sticking around and being so kind to myself and my lil guy! Here's a quick doodle of him celebrating. I think he deserves to be about that full of little guys <3
#soft vore#g/t vore#chris tag#male pred#multiple prey#internal#safe vore#micro prey#macro pred#mdni#what the HELL guys you're all so nice???#thank you all for the rps and questions and art wAGHHH#it's crazy i feel like i just came out of nowhere so i'm so glad u all just kinda like. took my stuff n ran with it i love u all mWAH! <3
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I will always be loyal to Yuya.
#yugioh arc v#ygo arc v#arc v#yuya sakaki#declan akaba#reiji akaba#my art#arc v art#i was pretty ambivalent towards declan until he said this out of nowhere in s3 and i was like ok you're kind of insane in a way i respect#the vibe i've always gotten from declan is that he's actually pretty kind and polite#but he comes off as mean/sinister because he has a flat affect and rbf#and i think that extends to his relationships too. yuya is like ugh declan doesn't care about any of this declan doesn't care about us#while internally declan is like yuya is such a good friend :) i'm glad we're working together#it just doesn't read externally. at all.#he doesn't express himself the same way as other people even if he feels things just as strongly#so when he suddenly confesses his undying loyalty it's out of nowhere but it's also just how he is. do you get it
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Charles being left handed is something that can actually be so special to me
#you're telling me im not only getting my favorite bi character but also favorite left handed character too?!?#absolutely a win for all the left handed bis out there (maybe it's odd that i know like 3 besides myself but WE'RE OUT THERE trust me)#you cannot imagine the sheer excitement i experienced when i noticed him writing with his left hand on the potential cases board in ep 3#it only took the 3rd rewatch to notice but I'm SO GLAD i caught it#charles rowland#dead boy detectives
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I'm rereading Master and Commander and I'm deeply in danger of just posting every single passage from it ever but I did love the way that the capture of the prize in Chapter 6 was framed on either side by the logbook's entry, and also the way he transitions out of it to set the scene and tone:
Sunday, July 1 … Mustered the ship’s company by divisions read the Articles of War performed Divine Service and committed the body of Henry Gouges to the deep. At noon dº weather. Ditto weather: but the sun sank towards a livid, purple, tumescent cloud-bank piled deep on the western horizon, and it was clear to every seaman aboard that it was not going to remain ditto much longer. The seamen, sprawling abroad on the fo’c’sle and combing out their long hair or plaiting it up again for one another, kindly explained to the landmen that this long swell from the south and east, this strange sticky heat that came both from the sky and the glassy surface of the heaving sea, and this horribly threatening appearance of the sun, meant that there was to be a coming dissolution of all natural bonds, an apocalyptic upheaval, a right dirty night ahead. The sailormen had plenty of time to depress their hearers, already low in their spirits because of the unnatural death of Henry Gouges (had said, ‘Ha, ha, mates, I am fifty years old this day. Oh dear,’ and had died sitting there, still holding his untasted grog) – they had plenty of time, for this was Sunday afternoon, when in the course of nature the fo’c’sle was covered with sailors at their ease, their pigtails undone. Some of the more gifted had queues they could tuck into their belts; and now that these ornaments were loosened and combed out, lank when still wet, or bushy when dry and as yet ungreased, they gave their owners a strangely awful and foreboding look, like oracles; which added to the landmen’s uneasiness.
[...]
Jack leant back against the curved run of the stern-window and let Killick’s version of coffee down by gulps into his grateful stomach; and at the same time that its warmth spread through him, so there ran a lively tide of settled, pure, unfevered happiness – a happiness that another commander (remembering his own first prize) might have discerned from the log-entry, although it was not specifically mentioned there: 1/2 past 10 tacked, 11 in courses, reefed topsail. AM cloudy and rain. 1/2 past 4 chase observed E by S, distance 1/2 mile. Bore up and took possession of dº, which proved to be L’Aimable Louise, French polacre laden with corn and general merchandise for Cette, of about 200 tons, 6 guns and 19 men. Sent her with an officer and eight men to Mahon.
#also it's interesting the way that he discusses the death of the loblolly boy here but always in diffuse contexts#and then that ends up tying in with the sin-eater becoming the new loblolly boy but it all flows very naturally and unassumingly#and the way he comments on the limitations but significance of the logbook for storytelling...interesting stuff#like at the beginning of this he's like it talks about opening a cask of beef and the death of the loblolly boy and the first prize capture#in the exact same dispassionate tone#but then he ends it with this - the fact that to a professional eye there's a hidden joy in that dispassionate tone#(and that's just what he's spent the last x pages uncovering)#interesting commentary on and use of 'primary sources'. interesting historiographical commentary happening there#idk i digress. i also liked that he pointed out the death of the loblolly boy in conjunction with that one poster here#who noticed that in the ship's muster the only death is the lieutenant which is a fun bit of foreshadowing#i wonder if this was meant as a signpost to be like actually you SHOULD pay attention to these details i will make them significant :)#i love his writing so so much there's so much to uncover and also so much to learn from him i feel like#lots of neat little tricks and of course no one compares in setting the tone with scenery#perce rambles#aubreyad#The Creative Endeavor and other aubreyad nonsense#as one of my professors the other day said (not about this book but i think it applies):#'this is the sort of book where if you're not careful you'll end up highlighting* the whole thing'#* - replace 'highlight' with 'post on tumblr'#glad i'm rereading it slowly it really rewards it#can't wait to get to post captain and hms surprise and give them the same time and thought
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hiiiiiii *twirls hair* why are you so obsessed with me <333333
#i'm so glad i can block people too so we can match <3#no but in all honesty if you don't like me or my posts/sims why are you here. like why would you sent this#also i literally meant please don't whitewash the sims of colour which seems like an obvious thing to grasp but you seem#to deliberately misunderstand#not that you'll see this post since you're blocked but just wanted t9 throw that out there
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I actually love this stare right here Yuji has when giving Angel attitude.
Like, understandably, I would, too be giving attitude to a 1000+ old sorcerer also inhabiting someone else's body. With the track record of how they have behaved by this point of the story, would you easily trust any of them? No. Deadass, I would not.
And I know, Angel is one of the "good guys" and let Hana have control of her own body and yadda yadda. But from Yuji's standpoint, his reaction isn't hard to understand.
#he apologized and he admits he doesn't like the feeling of hana replacing nobara#which she doesn't no one ever could replace that princess the bestie the best girl badass extraordinaire...#but i wouldn't say it's unreasonable to feel the way he does#honestly... it also just felt good to see angel have someone give them attitude and yuji be the one to do it#angel gives the 'i have authority' type of vibe#sure she means well and don't blame her for that given the past#but at times I'm like 'I'm so glad you're just a mouth and not a face'#like out of all the heian characters angel was that one i didn't care much for#just kiya's thoughts#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuji#yuji itadori#yuuji itadori#itadori yuuji#angel#angel jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 210
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i'm not even angry i'm being so sincere right now even though you broke my heart and killed me and tore me to pieces and threw every piece into a fire as they burned it hurt because i was so happy for you (official jared kleinman a.m. pump up songs about unrequited love)
#so true. portal gay#posts born of trying to listen to take on me; seeing this song first; going Let Me Do A Jared Kleinman Listen#go ahead & leave me i think i'd prefer to stay inside maybe you'll find someone else to help you#so i'm glad i got burned think of all the things we learned. when i look out there it makes me glad i'm not you#remember when i met ellen mclain....#and believe me i am still alive. i feel fantastic and i'm still alive. while you're dying i'll be still alive#kleinsen
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@kiisuuumii (A+) [for anon]
#poeticstories#twcpoetry#bitsofstarglow#poets community#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled poetry#poem#poetry#original poem#original poetry#ferpa dictates i not share grades publicly but ! oh well !#i teared up quite a bit at your last paragraph anon and i'm finding myself going back and going back to it#it breaks my heart that you have found yourself in dark places but i'm so glad that my words could help you pull yourself out or through#i'm so glad you're here anon#maybe battered and bruised but here living all the same !!!#thank you so much for your essay :'''^) <3#kiisuuumii#☆
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I hope Jamarr is picking Joe up right now because he needs it. He looks so defeated in the press conference.
you know, i get an ask like this after every loss lol. and i'm gonna be honest, ja'marr also needs picking up. he's not happy about this, he's devastated too. i hope they're picking /each other/ up.
#like i get what you're saying anon. i do.#joe absolutely needs support#but so does my boy ja'marr.#he's out there giving it his all every game.#breaking records. with nONE of the security that joe has#i'm glad they have each other and can be there for each other#although most likely what that looks like now is sitting silently next to each other sulking on the plane home lol#but at least they're there with each other. they can rely on each other if no one else#(tee also. tee should be involved too. he needs some TLC because he has the least security of all)#no offense whatsoever to you anon but like.#there are more people on this team than joe who are in their feelings about all these losses.
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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Portal 2 replay review: Hrmnnngggngmngm 💕💖💝💞✨❤️💗
#WPP#WPP2#Portal#I've only just revived GLaDOS (obviously had to play at least that far lol) but like hhnnnrgng <3 <3#The graphics! The space! The levels from Portal 1! The cutesy Aperture animations and the three(!) voice actors!#I've completely fallen in love with GLaD's P1 design but honestly what could possibly compare to her P2 design she's so pretty <3 <3#Stepping over her corpse to wake her up I'm normal I'm fine#And that we start in Test Chamber 1 and then fast track to 19 and end up in the toxic goo ravine fjdlsakfjsdf#I'm Fine I Swear#I forgot so many little details like the floor falling out or the buzz of the portal device (don't like but! Learned a new thing! -#- If while you're carrying Wheatley and you want the buzzing to stop just ''set him down'' - since he can't be set down lol#It cancels the noise :) Much nicer on the ears)#And Wheatley's voice actor ♪ His little flusters and chuckles hehe he's quite personably#I am So excited to get to the audio commentary fdjsalkjfdsf I found it and I'm biting biting biting#I have taken so many screenshots don't even get me started#Like all told for Portal 1 I probably took what like maybe 50 total? I'm probably already at 20 lol#Oh and I picked up a turret and it exploded on me :( I'm so distressed#I only want to knock over turrets I don't want them to explode!! Weh#Hhhh looking forward <3 Yay finally <3 <3#WPVG
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