#I'm so fucking dizzy

[hellyeahsickaf]

Floor time, elevating my legs on a chair in the kitchen until the blood stops pooling to them and the POTS episode subsides. Very out of breath, almost passed out and met god. But he couldn't face me bc I have many words for him at the moment

[kvzbrekkrs]

it's dissociating at work hours 😌

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[vampiresblog]

currently the worst part my health rapidly declining is that I have barely any energy at all and the energy I do have is spent on booking drs appointments, arranging with specialists, organising all of my medical records and history to bring to new drs, submitting applications for disability support, getting blood drawn for genetic tests, etcetera. I don't have time to do anything except be sick, and I don't even know what I'm fucking sick with

[lale-txt]

i wanna be caught in a love triangle with them sooo badly you have no idea

[jujutsustraycats]

I realize I have a very specific type in people thanks to Karasu

[melia-an2fa]

I fucking hate the modern age maaaaannn I fucking HAAAAAATE how ongoing video game series can give their male characters new designs no problem but the minute a female character has a new design just like everybody the fuck else suddenly five million gamer men with six-digit Twitter followings spawn out of the aether to bitch and moan about how this is supposedly "censorship"

[lucadrawss]

(Ignore the absolutely ass camera quality, it's really fucking dark even with a light on)

I have acquired two of them after a year of looking.

THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET HERE FOR ANOTHER TWO DAYS WHAT

[v7lgar]

am i the only one who is reading james f. potter as james fucking potter

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

me: i'm quitting my music career fr this time

someone: hey so, big stage, and we want you on this--

me: say no more give me the details here are my dealbreakers and i won't be available until my allergies pass because i'm rawdogging them

[the-punforgiven]

Man for real do I have to start warning my epileptic friends about the end boss of Shadow of the Erdtree? Because like I do not have epilepsy and despite that this dude's second phase is fucking rough to look at

[sapphire-weapon]

update: i am Unwell

[backpackingspace]

Amoxocillian can eat my entire ass

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

I know I talk about the LA vocals a lot but the JP vocals for the XX themes are like, actually really good. Keep Yourself Alive JP vocals make me feel something FIERCE dude

"HE'S A SAAAAD SOLDIER"

"OHHHH GET FIGHTING OUT"

"WAAAAITING TO DIIIIEEIIIIE!"

like, that fucks. That's Sol Badguy babey

[jongbross]

i know this is an exo blog but i just got out of ateez concert and san was performing bouncy and thanxx in a black tank top with a black hat while, you know, being the hottest guy ever.

so now i'm thinking about san, with all his energy and determination, fucking you from behind against a wall with such lust. it's raw, and it's dirty, and you have to bite your hand to keep yourself from screaming his name. he puts the ham of his tank top between his teeth because he needs to see himself pounding into you, groaning in delight.

i don't know, just a thought. 🙂

[impulsivedecisionsat3am]

this could've been me missing school (but instead i feel like garbage over winter break)