#I'm so excited but i promised myself not to post until it's actually finished or ik I'll just drop maybe 😭

[piease-iove-me]

who wants to see my unnecessarily detailed list of character roles for the PacRim fic? uh? uh???

edit. check rb

[hacked-by-jake]

[MC (they-them) × Jake × fluff]

MC stepped out of the police station, relieved to have finally finished the last report on the Hannah case, feeling the warmth of the sun on their face and the crisp spring air filling their lungs. They glanced at their watch, already mentally mapping out their route to the next town where their expertise was needed. But before they could take another step, a mysterious figure clad in black approached them, sunglasses hiding his eyes, a hood obscuring his features.

"Are you MC?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly.

They nodded cautiously as he handed them a sealed envelope without another word. Without waiting for a response, the enigmatic figure vanished into the bustling street. Intrigued and slightly unnerved, MC tore open the letter, their curiosity piqued by the unexpected delivery, despite already having a premonition about the sender of this letter..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

𝘔𝘺 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘔𝘊,

I'm sending this letter to assure you of my safety.

As I sit here, penning these words to you, my heart races with both excitement and trepidation. The events that unfolded during our recent mission have left me both exhilarated and wounded, both physically and emotionally. But above all else, they've left me longing for your reassuring presence.

I write to you now, not from a place of despair, but from a place of hope and determination. Despite the close call and the injuries sustained, I want you to know that I am safe and on the path to recovery. The mine left me with several, light injuries. The burns may sting, but they are nothing compared to the ache in my heart from being away from you.

MC, our partnership has been nothing short of extraordinary. Together, we've faced challenges that most would shy away from, and emerged victorious against all odds. The way you fearlessly tackled every obstacle, with unwavering resolve, fills me with an indescribable pride. You are the true hero in this story.

Yet, amidst the chaos and danger, I can't shake the feeling of guilt for putting you in harm's way. Please know that it was never my intention to cause you worry or pain. If anything, I am in awe of your strength and resilience, and I am eternally grateful for your unwavering support.

As we embark on this temporary separation, I find solace in the knowledge that it is only a matter of time before we reunite. I've been informed about the City near Duskwood, where they requested your assistance. Moonvale awaits us with its mysteries and challenges, and I have no doubt that together, we will conquer whatever obstacles lie ahead.

Until then, my love, take comfort in the knowledge that I carry you with me always, in every beat of my heart and every thought that crosses my mind. Stay strong, stay safe, and know that I am counting down the moments until we can be together again.

I, too, will personally ensure your safety. Nymos and I are committed to clearing your path and doing whatever it takes to protect you. I've shared my vulnerability with you before, and in light of the recent events at Grim Rock, I find myself even more dependent and at your mercy.

I'm incredibly proud of you for cracking the case and saving my sister. The challenges you confronted, the horrors you endured, and the loss of Richy... I can only begin to fathom the emotional anguish you're experiencing, but I vow to be your unwavering support, concealed in the shadows, yet ever-present by your side, even if you cannot perceive me. I will never leave you alone.

MC, my love, I promise you, we will see each other again when the time comes.

With all my heart,

Jake

A/n: A little thing after the release of the date, just a little idea. Actually, I just wanted to post the letter, but decided to add the first part, just as an introduction. Letters from Jake are just great, aren’t they? :) I was a bit proud for the wording here. Even if the first part is pretty short and not so detailed. But well, writing Jake is a stress-lovely something. I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and I hope you will have a fantastic day/evening/night! 💚

[farfromstrange]

Lizzi’s Valentine’s Special & Follower Celebration

Dear Everyone,

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I thought, since this silly little blog hit over 1.1k followers yesterday, I want to give you something special.

First of all, though, I want to thank you. I’ve been on here since (and I checked with the archive) July 19, 2022. I can't believe that it has been almost two years. I started watching Daredevil after watching Spider-Man: No Way Home in December of 2021 and hearing Matt Murdock say, "I'm a really good lawyer," after catching a brick. So, I started watching the show, and that was during a time I was really miserable. Mentally and physically, I wasn't in a good place, but after watching Daredevil for the first time and falling in love with Charlie Cox as a genuine person and an actor, it felt like I found a reason to keep going.

I started writing fanfiction again, which I kind of neglected because I felt like this hobby of mine wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't inspired at all until I watched the show. If I hadn't, I probably would not have gotten back into writing and using it as an outlet for my feelings, and I probably wouldn't be where I am today. Thanks to Charlie's portrayal of Matt Murdock, and watching his interviews, I felt like I could do the things that I love again and follow my dreams. He's the reason I chose to major in English. And while I owe him that much, I owe you guys here on Tumblr and AO3 even more.

When I first posted here, I didn't think people would even be interested in what I had to say and write. But then more and more people started visiting my profile, you guys started following me, and it kept me motivated to keep writing, even when I'm miserable, and I sometimes only post once every blue moon.

I feel so honored that you guys chose to follow a silly little blog run by a silly little 20-something-year-old whose first language isn't even English (but made it her entire personality), and who chose to write about traumatized dark-haired characters portrayed by Charlie Cox. I'm overwhelmed by the love you continue to show me, and every time one of you chooses to reblog or comment on one of my works, saying that it resonated with you, I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm sharing my ideas, my own experiences, my wishes, and even my deepest, darkest dreams through my writing like it's a fucking diary, and you eat it up every single time.

I'm just so glad that this community exists, as chaotic as it sometimes is, and that you chose to stick around, even when I suck at keeping promises sometimes. You keep teaching me new things about who I am, my writing, and how important it is to put myself first. I don't know if you've heard it lately, but you guys are incredible and I appreciate the hell out of every single one of you.

Thanks to Tumblr, I made lifelong friends (especially looking at you, @blackshadowswriter) and found like-minded people that made me feel less alone. That alone was worth making this account and continuing to post on here.

You may think that I'm being dramatic, but for someone who has never really experienced the kind of validation this community gives me, I want to celebrate this milestone. It means more to me than I can even put into words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much! Please, don't ever forget how amazing you are.

That being said, I've got some exciting things planned.

The other day, I found a folder in my Docs titled "the vault". I completely forgot about it because I usually keep my WIPs in a different folder. As it turns out, I made that folder for fics that I originally never planned to post, or ones that I'd finished but wasn't happy with. It’s many, but it’s a few. Some are deeper than others. I also jotted down rough ideas and outlines last year that I stuffed in there, some of which I've actually shared with you but never started working on. Until now. And the contents of that vault are what I want to give to you now.

INTRODUCING: The Vault

6 stories from the vault. 1 bonus fic. 7 days.

I went through a myriad of emotions while I wrote these. For some, I actually bled my soul onto paper. For others, it was merely a brain fart that led to their existence. They're sad, horny, and at times angry, but some of those were originally written for me, and only me. Those that weren't started as a few sentences in a folder before I forgot they existed. Either way, I don't want them to catch dust. And I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else.

Starting February 14th, I will be posting one fic every day until February 20th. My “The Vault” works are Matt Murdock x Reader works, but I've made an exception for the bonus fic. I won't tell you what they are about, but I will give you a list of installments and what kind of fic they are so you know what to be excited about (and maybe which ones are not your cup of tea).

-> The number at the end tells you the date I will be posting it on, but I put it in chronological order as well.

INSTALLMENTS:

1. If You Need To Be Mean (angst, hurt/comfort) 14.

2. Mismatched Bridesmaid (fluff, smut) 15.

3. Weed Cookies (humor, fluff, cw: accidental drug use) 16.

4. the grudge (songfic, angst, hurt/comfort, cw: death of a parent) 17.

5. Halloween (Smut) 18.

6. I Want To Fuck A Priest (Smut, cw: priest!Matt) 19.

BONUS:

7. Now That We Don’t Talk (Part 2 of Is It Over Now?) -> Frank Castle x Reader (smut, angst) 20.

A few more words: You are free to send me an ask if you want to know more, but be prepared that I won't be answering in much detail. I don't want to spoil the fun. I would, however, not mind talking about them as vaguely as possible (if you’re interested).

Thank you all. For everything. And I hope you stick around to read these little gems.

With love from yours truly,

Lizzi <3

[cloud-somersault]

Hey, how are you doing? I hope you’re alright. 💕 I’ve been reading your status updates on Constellations and the Epilogue, and I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re amazing. Your writing is incredible and I love it. Your stories are so well thought out and the characters are ✨on point✨, and the plot is complex and detailed and aaahhh! It has me hooked! 🤩

And I understand how it hurts when you put so much effort and love into a story, only to post it and not see others be anywhere near as excited or invested as you are. I know how discouraging it can be. And it may be a little silly, but I do want to apologize for not commenting lately—life took some difficult turns for me healthwise around the end of last year and I haven’t been able to catch up! I’m still on Chapter 4 of Constellations! 😭 BUT Chapter 5 is open on my phone, and I am READY to read it as soon as I have the time (and mental energy, but that’s a whole ‘nother issue 😩). Don’t worry that your writing isn’t enough, or be discouraged if some readers don’t catch hints while others are figuring it all out seemingly too easily. Everybody reads and comprehends stuff differently, and it’s not a sign that your writing is bad if they don’t catch it! Honestly, I’m pretty bad at catching hints the first time I read a story unless they’re pretty darn obvious. I don’t usually notice subtle hints until the second, or third, or even seventh read-through, haha! (on the bright side, rereading stories and rewatching TV shows is always fun!) 😅

I guess what I really wanted to say is… don’t give up hope. Don’t lose your love and enthusiasm for your works, or feel like they aren’t worth writing because others don’t seem interested in them. At the heart of it all… at the end of the day… write because you love to. Because it makes you happy. And know that it doesn’t have to be “perfect”—the main goal should be that you enjoy it. That’s something I’m trying to teach myself, too. 💕

Thank you for taking the time to write this message and send it. I appreciate you're very kind words 💕I'm doing okay, I just had to take a step back for a bit from socials and stuff. I'm gonna keep that up for a while.

Please don't apologize for not commenting or taking your time reading. Your health always comes first, and I'm sorry if I came off as childish or needy, that wasn't my intention. Two things just happened that set me off and the timing of it was incredibly poor 😓

Please take your time reading; none of it is going anywhere, and don't feel obligated to leave comments either. i'm realizing that, even if chapters are short or long, finding the time to finish things is difficult, and everyone lives different lives. And I'm sorry about all the spoilers on this blog, I'll tag that better from now on.

But I really do think I got confused or disjointed in my perceptions; everyone here knows so much because i've been asked questions and given answers and people have interacted, so people following me here have more context than the average ao3 user. But I've kinda been expecting everyone to be on the same page, which will never be true.

I'm also the same way where it takes me a while to pick up on hints. I actually changed my writing style to prevent this. I got tired of reading books in college where you had to dive into every little thing. the hints and clues weren't obvious to me. I decided then that, when I wrote, I wanted things to be bold, obvious, but beautiful. I didn't want to make readers feel like they're missing something. I wanted them to trust that every answer, every clue would be answered in time. I made that promise to myself a decade ago, and being reminded of how different people interpret things just...made me remember.

I take writing really seriously, probably too seriously, but I've been doing it for so long and I love doing it. I want to be good at it. When it feels like I've gone back on that promise to myself, I get frustrated. I think of ways I could've fixed things. But I also remember that those books and those writing styles just weren't for me. I wasn't the target audience.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I wanted to explain why I got upset. I still love Constellations and I'm posting it on ao3 out of convenience, really. It's easier to reference and search there in one "Entire Work" than to have 5 documents open. The fact that others can see and read and have fun is a bonus. But I'm committed to telling this story, and I'm gonna finish with a bang.

Thank you, I won't forget why I'm doing this and that my thoughts/feelings come first! 😤I hope your health concerns are taken care of soon. Take it easy, and thanks again! 💕

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

An Update on the Status of My A03 Fics!

Hihi! I have no idea if anyone who follows this blog reads any of my fics on AO3, but if you do, then you might like to know what the heck is going on with my fics, and why I haven't posted any updates in over six months.

First of all, I am alive! I wrote a lot of fics in the summer of 2022 when I had just gotten active in a fan server on Discord where there was a lot of encouragement to write fanfiction. In the spring of 2023, I started a medical assistantship course, and in order to keep myself focused in class, I turned off notifications for the server. And then I just kind of...didn't turn them back on???? In my defense, I was intimidated by the amount of time it would take for me to backread everything I missed, and that eventually snowballed into me just no longer looking at that server. I should honestly become active in it again, because it did a lot for my writing productivity. I also have a lot of hobbies both in real life and on my computer, and those take up a lot of my time as well. So that's why I didn't post much last year and haven't posted anything yet this year.

But I want to let you all know, that I do fully intend to complete the fanfics I have already started on AO3, and I do intend to write the sequels I promised a year and a half ago.

So without further ado, here is a status report on the incomplete fics and series I have on my AO3:

How to Live With Fire: One of my most popular fics! I have two sequels planned, and a rough idea of what I want to happen in each of them. Both of them are probably going to be only a few chapters long. The delay on this one is mostly on Part 2, since Part 2 has only the vaguest ideas of what I want to do with it (how Mortarion and Vulkan become a longterm couple, and how their legions react to this change). The trouble with this one is, I haven't read any Salamanders novels, let alone ones that take place during the Horus Heresy. I think I will at least have to read Deathfire for this one. I am praying that I don't have to read Vulkan Lives, since I understand that one has less tasty Salamanders content than I would like, and way more John Grammaticus than I find tasteful. But I will still try Deathfire at the very least, if I can find a physical copy at the library or a used bookstore or something.

A Matter of Trust: Another one that's going to end up being a trilogy. I have figured out what happens, now I just need to read the Plague Wars trilogy, because those events are going to be kind of important to the rest of the plot. Again, I'd like to read physical copies of the books so that I can flip through them easily. I'm going to see if I can find copies of the first two novels through the local libraries. Fingers crossed!

Until the Bitter End: Ohhhh, this one's gonna make me cry...this one is mostly hinging on me rereading The Buried Dagger and taking notes. Much lower barrier for entry for this one, since I've read it so often that I mostly remember where to find the events I'm looking for.

Lantern and the Child: This one is going to have like, a billion chapters. It's going to become episodic for a while, but I'm looking forward to it. In this case, it's a case of figuring out which characters I want to introduce. The idea of it being episodic is kind of exciting for me, because it feels like it will be a fun thing to do, and because it goes along with a writing conceit that my co-creator and I have for this AU, that it's the events of a theoretical (very dark) Pokemon anime.

This Once Nearly Was Mine: This one should literally be the easiest one to complete, I am ashamed that I haven't finished it. There's only one chapter left, and I don't even have to come up with all of the events. Again, this one is going to dip into Horus Heresy events that I haven't actually read, but I think I've heard enough from osmosis that I can skip most of it. I just need to, y'know, actually sit down and fucking write it.

Deep's Embrace: I've got an outline! And I've even got some scenes written out! As I type this post, I am preparing to submit chapter 2. I'm having a lot of fun with this fic, as you could probably all tell.

Anyway, that's basically it for now. If you have any questions, please let me know! And if you have any friends who you know enjoy my fics but aren't following me or aren't on Tumblr, please link them to this post so that they know just what the hell is going on with me.

[dutifullylazybread]

I am so in love with your story Deeply and Immovably So. I am heavily invested, I am a bit embarrassed to say that right as I found your story I was writing my own fic falling into the same theme of Tav and Rolan living in the tower together. I am currently rewriting my story to make sure I keep our stories different.

I guess I wanted to ask you a question, how did you mange to write a story all in one go? I tend to write in fragments and post my chapters one at a time. I guess If you could give me some advice on writing series and how you approach it?

Your amazing and can't wait for the chapter update on Friday!

I'm so glad you like the story!! :D. I'm honestly not worried about there being similarities between our fics. One key point for Rolan's character is establishing a home for his family after what happens in Elturel. On top of that, Tav (even a Balduran Tav) doesn't actually have a home that we can ever visit, so gravitating towards staying in the tower makes a lot of sense! So if that is a big part of your story and it would be strongly affected by you changing that part of it, don't feel like you must make those revisions. I'd rather you be happy with where you story is than worry about similarities like that. Regardless, I'm really excited to read your fic! If you'd like, please drop me a link when you begin posting! :)

As far as how I wrote the fic all out? I won't lie, I haven't really ever thought about my process, so when you asked, I sorta resembled Patrick (more below the image, I promise!):

That being said though, I can definitely share how I wrote the fic and how I am working with the story now, but my big rule with writing is that writers should do what works best for them--what works for me might not necessarily work for someone else. So if what works best for you is posting as you finish chapters, then absolutely do that. There are some extremely talented writers in the Rolan x Tav corner that do the same or something similar. If you haven't read @underdark-dreams's A Strand to Climb, @lemonsrosesandlavender's Sharp Teeth, or @graysparrowao3's What If Rolan Was A Companion? I highly recommend them (and not just these fics--the rest of their repertoires are delicious too!).

This is my tl;dr for my explanation below--I can be super long-winded (I'm sorry about that!!). Like I said, this is what works for me, but if you don't think these things jive with you, then do what you feel is best for you and your story. :)

Write the story out first. Don't edit until you have finished the fic.

If you run into a writing wall, work on a different scene and come back later.

While it's fun to add in details, a lot of that can be supplied during your editing/revisions stages. Worrying too much about this can bog you down when you're in the middle of writing.

Don't immediately jump into editing your story after finishing a chapter. Take anywhere from a few days to a week to let the draft sit before you work on it again.

Avoid burnout - take care of yourself and take brain breaks.

Here are the longer explanations:

Write the story out first. Don't edit until you have finished writing the fic.

I started writing the Rolan x Tav story as my NaNoWriMo project back in November and I kept working on it through December. For those who may not be familiar, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month, and the goal is to write 50,000 words in a month. These do not have to be good words, they just have to be words on a page. So already out of the gate, I knew that, if I wrote this fic, it might not be well-written at first, but it would be a story. I had to give myself permission to write a bad draft, basically, and that is sometimes the hardest thing in the world (I am still irked by it). If you're anything like me, the thought of not having perfection on the page during a first writing pass feels awful. BUT I do sincerely believe it is why I wrote as much as I did in two months. Because I just focused on writing and not editing. And, if I could tell I was getting close to hitting a wall, I would make a note in my manuscript to come back, and then I'd keep writing the chapter. My notes are parentheses that basically say (Add more detail here), (make scene more sexy), (Review dialogue exchange). It's really weird to write down, but when I'm writing and struggling, it honestly feels like my brain is coming up against an actual wall. Basically, I'm giving myself a headache. BUT this is my warning sign to come back later, because I'm getting too lost in the weeds and I won't be happy with the end result of whatever I force out.

2. If you run into a writing wall, work on a different scene and come back later.

The rationale for coming back and working through the wall later comes from a combination of reasons: 1) From past experience, forcing myself through a block can work, but it is the most agonizing experience ever. And it is exhausting. Writing can be exhausting, that is okay. BUT, what if I force myself through the block and then I'm unhappy with the result? For me personally, pushing against a block/wall can feed into burnout. So 2) it's better to take a break and work on a part of the story that I am excited to pursue and then revisit the wall later, because 3) if you let yourself take a brain break, you're going to come back and find that the wall isn't really a wall anymore. If anything, it's a really fun idea. You just needed to come back when the lighting was different.

3. While it's fun to add in details, a lot of that can be supplied during your editing/revisions stages. Worrying too much about this can bog you down when you're in the middle of writing.

I find that, while I am in the drafting stages, I often write at a pelt. I do my best to write the first draft well, but I write so quickly that I might not pause to ask, "So what does the setting look like exactly? What color is the sky? How does the Chionthar look at this moment? What does it smell like?" Some of those details might make it in while I'm drafting, but I think that I focus in on those during editing/revision, because that is when I let myself slow down and focus on the details.

4. Don't immediately jump into editing your story after finishing a chapter. Take anywhere from a few days to a week to let the draft sit before you work on it again.

Due to how I wrote this fic, I didn't actually revisit a lot of these chapters until about a month or two later. And that has led to a combination of "Hey, this isn't too bad," to "What were you thinking??" BUT, I do sit quite firmly in the camp that taking a few days to just breathe and not immediately jumping into editing helped give me a fresh perspective. When we spend so much time working on our stories, it goes without saying that we are very close to what we are working on, and sometimes that can work against us. SO, putting some distance between yourself and the chapter in question can help you identify what needs to be cleaned up/revised when you return to it.

5. Avoid burnout - take care of yourself and take brain breaks.

In my experience, one thing that stopped me from working on long fics was burnout. For previous fanfic projects I tried to work on, all of my free time would be poured into writing, and not a lot of it would be used to relax. I would work on these stories nonstop. I would argue that this is probably why several long-form fanfictions don't get finished by several writers (and that's not even considering how school, work, and family obligations might also take a toll on your energy). The last thing you want is to feel apathetic or frustrated over the thought of working on your story, so taking the time to relax and take care of yourself. While I think having a writing habit is extremely helpful, I also think taking an evening to just relax once a week is just as nice. Typically, I start writing around 7 pm every night, and I'll wrap up around 10:30 pm - 11:00 pm. BUT, I don't do any intense work on Mondays (since that is D&D night in my house).

I hope that this helps! But again, do what you think is best for you. I'm super excited to read your fic!!! :D

[worldismyne]

Seeing how you actually are able to keep your promise of weekly chapters, any tipps to commiting to a schedulde? I often think with all my free time I should be able to do the same with my storys but I just get burnt out or distracted and then self loath cause when I actually have the will again I have work responsibilities or other important stuff going on

Don't commit to an upload schedule until the first draft is finished.

Write to entertain yourself, not to meet a deadline.

Write as much as you can while the idea is new and exciting.

When soft writing and/or brain storming, I like to make a playlist specific to that story. The scenes I have that are tied to specific songs are the easiest to write.

Find the 1 hr on your days off that you have the most energy. (For me it's right after breakfast). Try as often as you can to write then. Even once every other week, is amazing.

It's okay to leave fics unfinished.

Your freetime where you rest is important

Listen to audiobooks in the same genre that you're aiming to write.

Whenever stuck, don't google, put < get there > and keep writing. When editing go back and either add to the scene or just cut it. 9/10 if I think a scene needs something to start it off, it actually doesn't.

(Longer explination of my process under the cut).

DON'T COMMIT TO AN UPLOAD SCHEDULE UNTIL IT'S ALREADY DONE.

I write as much as I can while hyperfixating on a story without posting it. So the draft for the fic I'm uploading atm was finished three months ago. I started uploading when I had 16 chapters written (or 4 months of backlog).

I can't count on how long an idea will hold my interest, or if I have enough material to stretch it out over multiple chapters. (I only just recently got into one shots. If you look at my other fics, I average around 20 k for a 'long' fic, because I get bored). So don't hold yourself to a strict length. Write the important, most engadging parts, walk away, come back and make sure it flows.

The important thing is I'm writing to entertain myself. Writing for a self imposed deadline or to meet audience expectations always burns me out. (No amount of kudos or comments will ever combat that)

I work 3, 12 hr night shifts a week, so a lot of the writing I do is during downtime at work. I personally find it difficult to write at home and spend a great deal of time recovering from working. The body needs that time to recover and it took years of unlearning that rest and self care are unproductive or a waste of time. If your work doesn't allow you that luxury, have a place out of the house you go to for longer periods of writing.

The playlist thing is a lifesaver, never discount the importance of soft writing. I literally can not visualize things, so music helps me have an outline to plot out scenes or chapters (i.e. what tone am I trying to capture). Also works to reignte the spark of inspiration. The time I'm most active is the morning, but that time often gets eaten up by real life, however it's easy to budget a half hour of time to that peak writing time. Those lil bits add up. If you haven't made progress on something in a while, it isn't a bad thing that you've prioritized other things. The writing process should be fun. It's like playing pretend, but you get to keep it afterward.

It's okay to abandon fics.

I still reread unfinished fics people posted, because what they had up was full of passion. A lot of the fics I couldn't finish were either the scope of the story was too big for what I wanted to write or the direction I was taking the fic wasn't working. Crest of the Dragon was on a 6 year hiatus before I was able to come up with an ending I liked. I was surprised people who'd followed it and left tumblr came back just to congradulate me for finishing it. Your readers will understand if you have to step away from something for a while. Updating serially often puts fic writers in a corner, by having the WIP up for everyone to see.

Burnout is usually not from the writing, but the real life shit going on around us. It can take years to figure out the main source and how to deal with it. Mental and emotional rest are important. I'm a bit neuro spicy, so there are straight up weeks where I have to resign myself to not creating anything. Having the back log helps in those instances, since l typically make things in fevered burst and then have to recoop.

Recently figured out listening to disc world novels has helped with my SE fic. It has good examples of absurdest humor, world building and general descriptions. I don't have time to read, but a lot of audio books are free on youtube. If you really, really get stuck, seeing how a pro tackles things can help even subconciously.

<get there> is my new friend. I'm not big on writing non-linearly. For longer stories, I'll parse out the main story beats and then hope the characters develope in that direction. Sometimes they go off the rails on me, or a planned subplot gets scraped. So, for this fic, I had all the mystery reveals spaced out between the two storylines. For character arcs, I go on explorative vibes.

All this to say, writing for me is an escape, and most of the time I'm doing it when I'm in a position where my options are either be on my phone or write. If I got 15 min or more, I choose write. If I got a sentence out, that counts.

It doesn't have to be perfect, or finished, or written in a timely matter. It just has to be, as long as what you're writing entertains you. Worry about uploading once you're done with it.

[taintedsoul-if]

It has been a while since I've posted on Tumblr hasn't It? I am the type of person that doesn't like talking about myself. But I feel as if I owe it to you all to give a bit of crumbs about what is going on as of late.

So for the past couple months I've been "struggling" with unemployment. 🙄 honestly I shouldn't even say struggling. When I left my last job a few months ago I swore to myself that I would never enter the BPO sector ever again. It's too much for me. But I understand, leave your problems/introverted personality at the door and be more professional. They all said but it just wasn't for me. Long story short ever since I made that promise to myself I've been home everyday just doing what I love. (Writing)

Two weeks ago I think.... an extended family member of mine mentioned an opening at her company. (Which is not BPO related! 😌) i just knew I had to jump on that opportunity. Let's be honest here, I am the type that gets anxious when there's no money in my pocket. 😅. And this is a new year... I have much that I want to accomplish.

Anyways my first interview was actually Sunday. And I passed that with flying colours. 🤧. The next phase of my interview will be a test which I've been studying for. Studying is basically what I do every single day. I get up at 5 in the morning and I study until 5 in the evening. I am a mediocre person that tends to give up sometimes lol. I wash my face with tears because most times I just feel like I'm wasting my time on something that I'll never be able to achieve. (🙄) This takes me back to highschool days. And I'll just stop there haha. But I am confident that I'll pass this exam with flying colours, get my employee ID badge and work my honest daypay. So that is what I've been doing.

I've neglected my babies but I feel like it will be worth it in the end. The update might be slow but it'll get there. So forgive me!

Though you guys don't have to worry.... I've already said it more than once and I'll say it again, I do plan to finish this IF of mine. I'll get back to writing Friday after I've completed my test. Time away from my IF has given me time to think about the true direction of my story. I might do some big changes to chapter1. Add a bit more dialogue and characters? But I must ask.

I was rolling over backstories for how Ada and the MC met. Let me create a poll cause I've always wanted to create one! *excited* 🤣

😅 and lastly for the ask in my ask box... I'll most certainly answer some of those this weekend. As always I do hope you're all staying safe during this time. Have a pleasant day one and all and I'll be seeing you all this weekend! 😋 later!

[bluevelvet-room]

@redblessingz replied:

if i may add (this is mostly the naokei in my head, it's also fine if it doesnt align with yours!): in p2ep if you choose nanjo route, there'll be flashback of both naoya and nanjo making a promise to achieve their dreams, and nanjo mentioned that if it werent for naoya, he might've gone off track and said what a great guy he is, so it's confirmed that naoya and nanjo has form a strong friendship/bond after the events of p1. I'd like to think that they've gone (1/?)

through something regarding Nanjo's late butler Yamaoka and possibly Nanjo being more open to share abt his troubles including his family and the company he'll inherit, and in return, Naoya (my naokei and naoya is strongly based from the manga although i actually never finished reading it myself) share more abt his life after his twin brother's passing and they help each other by comforting, healing and slowly get over the death of their beloved family members and (2/?)

has since become very close, often spend time together during their school years and can understand each other without the need of saying a word. And YES i also think that their relationship doesnt evolve into romantic one until post-reunion bcs of internalized homophobia on nanjo's side, thinking if they did get into relationship it'll ruin his family's name, and they had mutual feelings but werent brave enough to actually confess it, though they might've picked (3/?)

up the hints but keep brushing it off thinking it's just their imagination (but it's actually NOT), and yeah after the reunion, they confessed, and like you said earlier they had heartfelt conversation then FUCK lol. (Sorry for the spoiler on p2ep part and sorry for the ling rambling too, i got a little bit too excited talking abt naokei since it's been years I've talked abt it with someone 😭)

i love this version of naokei a lot too!! it's a very common idea i see when absolutely scraping the tumblr barrel for naokei content. it is worth noting that whenever i write persona stuff i always just delete homophobia from the world (unless it works for a very specific purpose, like me explaining yosuke's actions in persona 4 as internalized homophobia) bc i enjoy not having to think about it in my fictional universes lol HOWEVER of course nanjo would suffer from internalized homophobia (if it existed in my world) !!!!!!!!! also i hope u dont mind me putting this in a new post to respond, this is a side blog so i can't respond directly. also also don't worry about persona 2 spoilers i've already spoiled myself plenty cuz i'm too lazy to play the games just yet but i do need to know some of the stuff for my writing

[insecateur]

2022 fic wrap-up!

Here it is, my 2022 fic wrap-up! I'll divide it in three parts: general rambling about writing, month-by-month discussion of what I wrote in more detail, and a conclusion about what I'd like to get done this year a.k.a. 2023!

(I wrote so much I'm sorry.)

   

General Thoughts and Rambling about Writing

I've had multiple times when I'd say I stopped writing. I wrote a lot when I was younger, both fic and original, always in my native language (French.) I also roleplayed a fair amount. Back in 2011, after a very bad time in my life, I stopped writing. My last attempts were roleplaying posts; I think by that time I hadn't written fic in over a year. 

For a little while, I focused on drawing exclusively. I even created an original webcomic that's currently discontinued. Then, in 2013, Pokémon X&Y came out–

I'd planned to write posts about my main X&Y fic series on Tumblr, but only wrote one and then never got around to writing the rest. I still want to, though! It probably covers most of what I'd want to say already, so I'll be brief: I got back into writing fic in 2013, for Pokémon X&Y, in English this time, and then lost steam the next year for a variety of reasons. I got back into writing again in 2015-2016, writing more or less exclusively for myself without sharing it except on dreamwidth and password-locked blogs. At the time, I think I felt self-conscious about posting fic on AO3 that I didn't think was "up to par," not to mention I felt guilty about my lingering WIP...

In late 2017, I got into a brand new fandom, Yakuza, and for the first time in four years started to focus my creative energy in something that wasn't Pokémon X&Y. I still thought about it a lot (Lysandre especially) but I was able to get into new ships that I was excited about for reasons that weren't "this reminds me of my ultimate blorbos." In 2018, I started working on a Yakuza fic that I then gave up on, until (encouraged by one of my friends) I got back into working on it in 2020.

I don't know what did it; I'd guess it was having someone who could cheer me on and who was also a writer, maybe, but in 2020 I really started finding pleasure in writing again. I finished the fic around the end of the year and got very sweet feedback (which I was surprised about because the topic of the fic isn't something I expected people to care about haha.) I was itching to write more but I was also kind of exhausted. I figured maybe this was going to be my fanfiction swan song, which I was pretty happy about, honestly. I still think it's a pretty good fic.

Then, in 2021, Pokémon Masters EX grabbed me by the throat–

It felt kind of eye-opening. It felt like I was back in 2013/early 2014 and suddenly I was fueled by the raw power of OTP. I reread my unfinished WIP, that I'd continued further from what was posted on AO3, and thought: I can finish this. Not only that, but I can make what I've already written better. It doesn't matter that it's been almost eight years, it doesn't matter if nobody cares to read it. I can do this, for me.

And I did!

Not only that, but it kickstarted me into getting back into writing for real. I posted the finished, rewritten (in parts) version of the fic in November (I promise I'll talk about this in more detail soon,) and then in December I posted another fic about them. Which then brings us to, of course, what this post is actually supposed to be about: 2022.

   

What I Wrote in 2022 (And Other Considerations)

I started out still riding that high from having finished my long fic, and posted two fics related to it in January, turning it into a series:

* The Pangs of Disprized Love: This one is an outsider POV taking place between two of the later So Long as We Can Say chapters. It was really fun to write, despite the subject matter! The last SLaWCS chapter is actually probably my favorite, as a post-canon aficionado, so getting to write more of that was a treat.

* And With Your Hands Your Hearts: This one is a more or less direct sequel. A marriage proposal... How corny. It felt like what the characters needed after everything they'd gone through, though. I had very strong mental images for this one and I'm still pretty happy with the result.

After that, I got to work on the sequel to Et Surtout Mourir de Langueur, the first part of my mutual pining saga. At the time, I ran into two issues:

— I was embarrassed by the idea of writing and posting smut on AO3. (Yes, this seems insane to me too now.)

— I was worried people would be put off by me writing Lysandre as submissive more "aggressively." (As in, actually making it clear that was what I was going for, and not just implying it.)

Because of this, I started getting writer's block, and found myself stalling after deciding to actually include explicit scenes in (what would become) Le Bien l'Ennemi du Mieux. But something very special would happen to me that month...

Indeed, February is the month I came to know Noah a.k.a. @jonphaedrus. Which seems both so long ago and way too little time. I will refrain from gushing and just say that had we not met, I might have never started posting E-rated works to AO3 and I might have even given up on writing that second mutual pining fic. So there.

Thus, in March, thanks to Noah (and Grey!)'s support, I finished and posted:

* Le Bien l'Ennemi du Mieux: They continue pining, but this time they fuck explicitly. A lot. Way too much if you ask me. The romantic tension does not resolve in this fic and did not resolve period in 2022 but it will in 2023 I promise.

My SLaWCS energy had not left me however, and so after taking a short break I started work on a direct sequel to And With Your Hands Your Hearts, where I'd explore Augustine and Lysandre's backstories at last. This quickly became a multi-chapter project, which I was anxious about because SLaWCS (the original fic) had been my only successful attempt at that, but the fact that I had been successful once – and now had support from a fellow prfr appreciator and author – helped carry me to victory.

So, in May, I successfully published:

* Wisely and Slow: Definitely one of my favorites from the year. A three chapters story about dealing with your demons and finding a new place to belong to in the world. I could talk more about it but I won't... for now. This is the last (plot-relevant) SLaWCS story I've posted so far; the next one is going to be the wedding one and I'm SO excited to work on it. SOON.

Taking a break from longer fic writing, I wrote this treat for Noah:

* That Give Delight and Hurt (Not): I feel like this was the first step toward me going full self-indulgent when it comes to publishing smut. It still has feelings, but there's no pretense of a plot, just two characters engaging in D/s fun. It was my first time posting actual PWP on AO3... emotional...

In June, struck by a sudden bout of inspiration at the very end of a challenge from a Discord server I was in, I wrote 20k in a week:

* Perfect as a Statue, Unadorned: A Xerosic/Lysandre fic where Lysandre is a robot. It's also one of my favorites from this year! Very underrated imo. It's long, it's an AU, it's for a rarepair... so I'm not really surprised, but I do wish more people would give it a try. Oh well.

And then, finally embracing my id fully, I wrote and shared what is probably still the most unhinged thing I've written in 2022:

* All in a Day’s Work: Also known as "Rocket Lysandre free use" which tells you all you need to know. Truly just pure bottom Lysandre PWP. I think about the tag "I Want That Pokémon Villain Obliterated" regularly. I originally wasn't even planning on posting it but doing that freed me from any kind of worry about what I was "allowed" to post on my AO3, because nothing else can come close to it. Also very underrated imo but not for the same reasons LMFAO.

I was slowly getting into the habit of writing regularly, so in July I decided to try my hand at writing short fics/ficlets based on prompts I found or that were sent to me. This way, I successfully wrote five ficlets:

* Phototaxis, Show Off, The Precious Time That We Have, Then We Shall Need Each Other & Aspectabund

I also participated in BDSM Exchange, with a fic! Which was my first time writing fic for an exchange – before that, I'd only done art.

* Viens Me Libérer de Mon Sommeil (Je Suis à Ta Merci): An OT3 (Diantha/Sycamore/Lysandre) fic for Noah! It has all of our favorite things: D/s, Lysandre getting run over, BDSM therapy... I nearly finished it in time for frenchflagshipping day, too, but missed it by three days. Alas.

Powered by pure hubris, in August, I decided to try my hand at Writer's Month... and couldn't pull it off (in parts because I got very, very sick mid-way through.) I'm not going to link all of my fics for that separately (they span from August to December) but I will namedrop a few I especially like. Otherwise, you can check them all out in my series! (Shout-out to the series-within-a-series specifically for the bodyswap storyline, too. I'll finish it in 2023! I swear!)

My favorites from August were:

* My (M37) friend (M32?) keeps alienating everyone we know with the way he presents his opinions: Absolute classic. A reddit post parody. I'd still like to write a sequel/spin-off someday.

* A Comedown of Revolving Doors: Kind of a weird one; I just caught a vibe and followed it without being completely sure where I was going with it. I do enjoy the result though.

* It’s a Mechanical Bull, the Number One: Bottom Dom content for the soul. I still think this one was very big-brained of me. Also the title does not get old.

* Hit Me With the Way They’re Flaunted: It sure is over 3k about Lysandre getting his tits tortured/played with. What else can I say.

August was also the month we started posting courage is the most foolish thing in the world a.k.a. roleswap! I am not involved in the writing (as in, I don't write it; I am definitely involved in the ideas and concepts) but I couldn't not give it a shout-out. 

For September, I'll cite this one:

* Something in Your Head You’ve Been Fighting All Along: It's cakeverse. I found out about cakeverse completely randomly and have not stopped thinking about it ever since. I'll probably write and/or draw some more at some point... It's still at the back of my mind.

I also participated in another fic challenge: to write an AU fic of no more than 5k words. It turned out a lot more difficult than I expected; I apparently do not do well with max word counts. Still, I managed to post:

* From the Throat, I’m Tied to You: A very horny soulmate AU. I just decided to write the kind of soulmates I'd like to see in fic, heh. Despite how hard it was for me to get the words out, I do enjoy the result, and it was fun to work on!

In November, I posted a fic for the exchange Fic In A Box! I feel like I've already talked about this one a lot LOL, so I won't get too into it.

* do let the old enmity be: A recursive fic for Noah's main prfr series. It's all in-universe stuff, and probably the most fun I had working on a fic this year. I was very pleased to see so many people enjoy it!

I also kept working on my late Writer's Month prompts, and my favorite for that month is obvious:

* Let Your Backbone Slide: My first time writing trans porn... finally, I can put what I want to see into the world (Dom trans/cis sub, in case that wasn't clear.) I like this one a lot, tbh. I'd like to write a sequel/related fic sometime soon.

Finally, the last month of the year: December! My end of the year was really busy. I had a lot on my mind. Still, I managed to post a few more Writer's Month fills and one very special fic:

* De nouvelles saveurs: My last fic of 2023! And it's in French! It's 12k words of flirting via baking croissants. Before writing a short thing for my FIAB fill, I hadn't written in French in over a decade... so it was an interesting experience. I am pretty happy with the result though! The croissants (quaso) got baked and that truly is all that matters. 

I'll finish this off by giving a quick shout-out to the old fics I posted throughout the year. These are the fics I wrote back in 2016, as mentioned in the introduction of this post. Noah slowly encouraged me to post them on AO3, even the ones I was the most embarrassed about. Since they've all been backdated, I don't remember the exact month (of 2022) they were posted on, so I'll just give them to you in their original chronological order:

* Fighting With My Weak Hand: A post-canon story about Lysandre trying to earn forgiveness. (Yes, it was already my shit in 2016.)

* Status Symbol: Car sex.

* A Lesson in Self-Control: Omorashi. 

* This Is the Finest Game, It Ain’t Even Got a Name: Spy AU. Very self-indulgent.

* Midas Touch: Lysandre doesn't masturbate. Augustine investigates.

* Give Me Fire, Burning Hell: My original soulmate AU.

Phew. Okay, now that that's all out of the way–

   

What 2023 Has In Store (Hopefully)

I have a lot of WIPs.

See, at the beginning of 2022, I told myself I'd only have one WIP at a time. That way, I could focus on one thing, and get things done at a good pace. Unfortunately, as I began writing more and more, and chatting with Noah about ideas, I started listening to the devil on my shoulder telling me I could just work on multiple things at once.

...and I could! At the end of the day, "a lot of WIPs" isn't actually even that many WIPs. Still, I have a bunch of stuff I'd like to get done in 2023, writing-wise:

— I have an unfinished SLaWCS smut spin-off that's like two scenes away from being done and has been for months. I really need to get back on that.

— I have, of course, part 3 of my mutual pining series. I'm nearly 10k into that and Arceus knows how long it'll get. But I'll finish it this year for sure!

— I have the few prompts left from my Writer's Month, most of which I have ideas for if I haven't already started them. I will complete it this year (and not give the prompt list for this year a try, I'm sorry–)

— I have a few challenge fics I started and never finished that I might or might not go back to. (One I'm fairly confident I can finish; the other I have no idea where to go with so it might stay unfinished forever. Maybe I'll share what I have at some point.)

— I want to write in French more!!

— And, last but not least, I'm desperate to write more SLaWCS. I want them to get married!! I spent most of the latter half of 2022 writing shorter fics, and I really want to get back to longer works. I want to drop 60k of wedding planning that only five people will read. This is all I need to stay alive.

As for the rest... I'm still itching to participate in exchanges and other fandom events, so I have plans in that vein, but I don't want to give it away too early. I'm very grateful for the support I've gotten this year, no matter the content... Thank you for all your comments, asks, tags, kudos... I wouldn't have written this much without you! I don't know if I can aim for more than I did in 2022, but I'd like to keep at it, at least. 

So here's to another year of Pokémon fics... and art! If you've read this whole thing, thank you, too! I appreciate it! 🙏

[eureka-its-zico]

Hiiiiiii, it's me, Gouda 🧀 anon, but I am not on anon! lol I sorted out my Trumblr from all the cringy shit from years ago finally so I don't have to be embarrassed what I have on here haha (I saw you said you've been on Tumblr since 2015, well I've been on here since probably 2009 and yeah... Had to go down the memory lane and it was a bit cringe 😂)

I saw your message that Chapter 4 will be posted tonight and the giddy feelings that I felt, boy oh boy... Could barely contain myself in my chair!

This has been such a lovely update! It was amazing to see more interactions between Doc and Zoro. And his POV is just *chef's kiss*. It really helps to see that there's more to each of them than the other sees. And honestly, Zoro is being stupid because he can fulfil his promise and still get Doc so... *side eye* lol

I am honestly so curious to see what you have planned going forward: with Doc and Straw Hats AND Doc and Zoro. And if you grace us with even more Zoro POV to see his inner battle - I will devour it 😂

Also, I have to say - him bringing the beer and him bringing back the flower as an apology were one of my favourite parts in this chapter. Especially this one:

What he wouldn’t tell you, is because they only grew at certain times and usually in the snow, it made them one of the most resilient flowers because they could grow under any conditions. 

ALSO, oh my God, this interaction in particular too:

“What do I gotta do to hear one of these world-famous Doc jokes?” He waited until his face was neutral to look back at you. Both hands rested on his swords as he watched you fill the bottle to the brim and place it securely inside your satchel.  “For that kind of service? You have to be dying.”

We know what happens later and now I will wait with baited breath for doesn't matter how many chapters to see whether Doc actually says that joke 😂

I also love the ending, the fact that Nami is considerate enough to offer for Doc something to wear. It's a small interaction though I would think that it gives them a small part to bond to some extent ❤

As always, an amazing update and I am so happy to see these two continue to bond, even if they are both acting silly now. Really curious and excited for the next part to see how Doc reacts to Sanji and maybe even how Zoro reacts if Sanji flirts with Doc?! 😂

I have so many feelings to this story, I have to admit, I read Chapter 3 five times. Then I went to read Chapter 2. And then I read all chapters from the first one before this update because I have an insane amount of brain rot for OPLA Zoro and it's been consuming me this week 😂🙃 Also, because it's been bringing me joy and making me smile at a time in my life where I'm feeling a bit lost.

Sending you so much love and thank you for the update. I had a shit week so this has been such a mood booster that it is hard to put it into words how much I appreciate you and how happy I am that I discovered you and Chaos in Their Bones.

Hope you're having a lovely weekend, Jenn ❤

Osiyo my Gouda 🧀 Nonnie turned to my cheesy!! I am so happy to hear from you! The fact you did an intense cleansing of your tumblr makes me feel like I should probably do the same BUT 2009, you say?!? My bestie started a tumblr around that time too, I believe. What was it like? Was it wild? Lol

It makes me so happy to know you enjoyed the updated chapter! I was honestly very nervous about it cause I wrote it starting yesterday around 5 pm and finished by roughly 9:30 am. I just knew that once Sanji was introduced the story was going to be a bit more hefty, per say. There is the drinking scene, and I wanted Doc and Nami to have some time together, because she deserves a good wholesome friendship, okay?!

I’m so glad you love Zoro’s POV! It always makes me nervous because he is such a moody baby, but also extremely devoted to keeping his word/promises. I thought it was important to show his side and struggle, because he is so devoted to fulfilling his promise that I can envision him being completely blinded by that determination. I mean, look how he responds to poor Nami 😩😩

Oh man, we know Sanji flirts with EVERY woman lol so flirting is definitely implied and I may or may not have already pre-written the dialogue for most of that scene 🤣

I cannot believe you’ve reread Chaos in Their Bones so many times! But also, I completely understand why you would after reading the rest of your message. It is an absolute honor and a privilege to be a part of something that is bringing you joy in a time when you feel like it is most needed. I always look forward to your reviews and to see how you liked chapters. It means a lot to me to see your 🧀 in my ask box. I am incredibly sorry this week wasn’t any good, but just know I am sending you lots of love and good vibes that hopefully next week is better than this one. Sending you virtual hugs and Much Love 🖤

[blocksruinedme]

Actual fic deadlines/priorities

Now till September 2 - My three hermitshipping bang fics are due, in a complete "can post if you got hit by a bus" version. Last possible extensions till September 8. I don't know if I'll get all three done. If I don't, I can't predict whether I'll put it down for awhile or try to get through it. If I want to wait to post, I can still possibly get the "doodle tier" of art and can add it to the collection, which is just so chill and cool of them, everything is chill and cool

September 3-18 - The burning man fics, god, I really want to post them during my (partial) top surgery and recovery. The current plan is to post chapter of three stories a day, that line up with time periods. (Like the first posting day covers approximately noon-2pm, etc). The current plan is for the final story to be posted on the final day. This means for anyone who pops in at the beginning, they can have three kinds of cliffhangers! I personally think it's super cool

September 19-late September - Recovering from surgery! If anyone has any tips, please let me know! I'm very excited! And I've had a "6 days inpatient three months recovery" surgery, so it's really about the detail of a different surgery recovery.

Late september-deceber: God, first my wips, my poor beautiful wips, along with the larper au (which might top out at three fics, we'll see... and immediately on writing that i got possessed with a flower husbands idea, very well! NO PROMISES). I'll also be editing my hermitshipping bang fics, which are allowed to be totally expanded on, including adding B plots, so... I might go off the rails there.

Onwards: If life goes to plan, sometime in 2024, probably late spring or later, I will have WAY less free time, and while I am very excited about the reason, it might stop fic entirely for awhile. @that-tall-queer-bassist has offered to help me (including up to cleaning up my speech to text into something like real notes or maybe prose). Part of why I push so hard to write is because my time having this much time is limited.

Crucial note about how I write: Sometimes what I need to work on fic is to go work on a different fic, and sometimes even publish it. I had a huge drought after limited life when i told myself I couldn't publish anything else, until i let myself do Driving After Dark and, well, I've published about 44k in 2.5 months. Sometimes I get stuck and all I can do is take a break. I now refuse to push myself hard enough on a fic that I burn out.

I genuinely have 20 wips that I want to publish. I acknowledge this is unlikely but they are all my weird little children. Things may appear in wip wednesday and never make it.

What does that note mean for you: Do not EVER pressure me to finish a fic. You may ALWAYS express enthusiasm for specific fic, and it may get it higher up the queue. Asking about timing is tricky. "i was wondering if you know when you might be publishing this one" - in practice has not upset me. "(affectionately) what happened to posting the next chapter in november?" - ruined my fucking day. Had to stop myself from a mean spirited essay about all the reasons it hadn't happened. I can not tell you how to ask this correctly. You now have this schedule here, and you can ask about how it's going (perhaps in an ask) if it's in a chill manner! I'll totally answer, including if any of the bang fics have been officially dropped from the bang (and thus i can tell you my neat ideas! all i'll say is there's some very me things and at least on surprise that might keep people from guessing it's me!)

Anyway follow @burningmanau for fun burning man pictures and fic stuff!

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

hey everyone, I'm still alive! and! I have a writing update!

I haven't done any writing.

okok that's not totally true, I've done bits and pieces since I published 'i still talk to you' (link here, I had fun with that one) but I'm nowhere close to having anything ready to publish. Still, I figured I'd give y'all a (totally sober, for once) update on where I'm at in the stories I've promised.

So, okay, the big one first: TMHYHM. I've got about 3k of chapter 9 done, so we're about halfway through it. I'm starting school again in a few days (senior year, woohoo) and I always seem to write better at school, so we're keeping our fingers crossed that it'll get done in the next few weeks. About ten days from now is the one year anniversary of me 1: starting my AO3 account and 2: publishing chapter one of TMHYHM which is.... both exciting and a little sad? Genuinely didn't expect this story to take so long, but here we are.

A lovely commenter pointed out that I must put a lot into each chapter, and I honestly hadn't really thought much about it but they're right. I'm not gonna ramble about it for much longer, but every chapter takes a lot of time and energy. There was the re-read I did to write down the main plot points I wanted to hit every chapter, and then scouring the internet for quotes to put in once I decided I wanted to go that direction, and then I re-read each individual chapter twice; the first time to get more specific with what happens each chapter, finding places to put extra scenes etc. and a second time to figure out a chapter title. Actually writing the chapters is a lot too. I put a lot of myself and my experience into my interpretation of Andrew, and I feel like it fleshes him out more, but it also makes these chapters so much more mentally draining to write. Anyway, all that to say: happy early birthday to TMHYHM and thank you all for your patience.

Okay anyway, some of you may remember that I started teasing a hospital/amnesia fic (here, here, and here) a month ago during the AO3 outage, and I've almost got three chapters finished (halfway done !) I decided a few months ago that I wasn't going to post multi-part fics until after they're finished from now on, so as soon as I finish the whole thing it'll be up. I took a break from it for a little while, but when I came back and read through it today I genuinely cried a little? I'm evil guys why do I write these things??

Third: the minyard triplets. I'm going to be so honest here, I have not made any progress since last time I updated yall. Looking back at the story, I'm honestly kinda starting to hate it? I don't know, I still like parts of it but it just doesn't feel anywhere close to being my best work. I'll keep working on it and hopefully finish it soon, but I don't know when it'll be done. I had thought about turning it into a series, but I'm just not sure how attainable that is anymore.

Also, you may or may not have read my last fic, but if you did: I'm working on an alternate ending!!! I can't say much (cause spoilers) but I'm working very hard on it so keep an eye out for that one. Not sure if it'll be a separate fic or just a second chapter, but it's coming.

ok uhhhhhh.... i think that's it? TLDR: I don't have a lot of answers for y'all, but I'm working on things.

Oh, also? I'm writing a book. So fics might go on the backburner for a little bit lol. Let me know if that's something you'd like to hear more about though, I'm super excited.

Thank you for all your love and support <3

[breitweisergallery]

1, 2, 6, 18, and 25 from the asks list! 1/2/6 for TDJ fics and 18/25 for took talks revelations

is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I posted most of the snippets of things I had started and never finished. I spent a lot of time in @thedeviljudges 's dms talking about the political au where Gaon worked in Yohan's office, and also the fae one. I was really excited to possibly one day work on the fae one because there was something about it that just felt fun. We don't have enough magic in the aus for TDJ.

what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Almost definitely the earliest ones. I wrote my first 3 (?) TDJ fics while having only watched about half the show, I think? It took me almost six months to watch the final episode so a lot of even my early fics were written before I'd finished the show.

something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

I mean... I started rewriting the entirety of imagining the integration because I just didn't love how it was going.

I'm really bad at not posting the second I have something written and I feel like if I finished projects and then posted them things would go a little better. :')

were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Oh, god yeah. It definitely depends on fic vs fiction, genre, etc.

I mentioned in a previous ask that I almost always return to Hannibal and Harry Potter as fandoms that influenced me greatly. For a while I had thought about putting together an outright list of fics across the, like, 85 fandoms that I still read for on occasion that influenced me either in writing choices or writing style.

For published writing, the Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss, House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski, Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales, Edgar Allan Poe, Tolkien, The Ranger's Apprentice Series by John Flanagan, and (coming close to doxxing myself here but) Alan Silberberg is actually a friend of mine and he himself as a person has been a major influence on my choice to go into writing professionally.

copy paste a few sentences or a paragraph that you're particularly proud of

Gonna hit you with the opening scene to the novel I've been working on because why not? (writing below the cut)

An unholy rhythm kept in line by the marching of soldiers atop the cobblestone streets of Aktas echoes through the streets is not enough to cover the tolling of the bells from the northwest side of the Courtyard. The bell call to all the promise of another death, another head removed from a so-called false prophet. Crowds whisper and gather in the Courtyard, approaching from the narrow alleys between the Worship Hall and the Mess.

One man pushes past, through the crowds, towards the city at large. His blue robes mark him a man of faith; the staff held in his hand mark him a Bav, a carrier of the magic of the gods. Even beneath the light cloth of his hood, his eyes are sharp, too sharp — odd enough that many look away upon seeing him, avoiding eye contact as best they can. Few murmur the proper greeting, “may the sun shine light on you, Bav,” and fewer still bow their heads; even in a city so filled with the faith, the people are a superstitious lot.

The Bav cuts down a quiet alley, each step confident and sure even as he scans the empty space for any person, any thing, that might whisper all the way to the Khonhey of his activities outside of the Church.

The sounds of boots atop cobblestone stops suddenly. The bells ring out one more time before silence falls and the Bav turns his head to look behind him as a roar of a crowd goes up. His pace quickens through the alleys, until he reaches a near-empty street and hurries to a dust-covered door, rapping on it sharply with his staff. “It’s me,” he says softly, his voice and tone alike soft and almost musical. The door opens and a gloved hand shoots out, pulling him inside and just as quickly shuts and locks the door behind him.

“Were you seen?” the man inside asks, glancing over his shoulder at the now-closed door.

“No. They are all focused on the commotion at the Gallows,” the Bav replies, letting out a long breath. “We need to move our plans up, Sime. He’s nearly been caught three times this week alone. I recommended caution and he doesn’t listen.”

“He’s young. Can you blame him?” Tahsim Anyis turns, picking a jug up from the table. “Drink?” He pours without waiting for a reply, extending the cup behind him to the Bav. “We’ll need a serious distraction to get him out of the city. And then we’ll both be dead men walking, you and I.”

“As if we are not already,” the Bav mutters and takes a long drink.

[holly-fixation]

I think I figured out how to not burn out!

After I finished Ink Clouds, I tried to write and update multiple stories at once. Basically, I forbade myself from adding a new chapter to the same fic one after the other so I wouldn't oversaturate content, and flood respective websites. At the time, I had only a few stories, so it was pretty manageable. However, the time I'm most excited to continue any one of my fics is right after posting a chapter for that fic. Some were easy to jump back into after posting a chapter for something else, but it got tiring to basically restart their respective plots.

New Plan: I'm going to continue updating multiple fics at once, but I'm going to go back and forth between the next one I'll 'finish'. Right now, the next multi chapter fic I'm finishing is Angelic Aid because it was Literally the second fic I started, and they have dealt with multiple 4 month breaks between chapters.

My uploads will basically look like this until February:

Angelic Aid - 'An Astral Myth' - Angelic Aid - Random OneShot - Angelic Aid - etc... until either I finish Angelic Aid or the new project goes up. Or whichever one I want to hyperfixate on.

Either way, I promise I will actually finish some multi chapter fics! Hopefully this prevents burn out.

[gayhoediaz]

12 and 29? 🫶🏽

12. how many wips do you have in your docs for next year?

oh, it depends on what we're considering a wip. if we're talking stories that have actually been started, but won't be finished until next year then it's two! one of them is an explicit three chapter story exploring their sexual hang ups, and figuring out the best way to communicate their needs. the other one is a patrick x richie fic that i work on whenever my looking hyperfixation comes back around - it might not even be up in 2023 tbh, we'll see. most of that fandom has moved on, so i'm just writing it for myself. (except for @dickley-buddie who i dragged down the rabbit whole with me this year and i'm very proud of that mwah) i'll post it when it's finished, for sure, but we'll see when that might be. if we're talking planned or outlined wips, then it's a lot more. i'm finally gonna work on that private chef au i promised everyone like six months ago. i haven't forgotten about it, i just want to have enough time to dive into it, because i'm really excited to write it!

29. favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oh god. i need you to know that once i post a fic, i don't remember anything about it. and i have written a lot this year, so i genuinely have no idea. that being said, i am partial to this entire scene in grow as we go:

“You look very pretty, by the way,” Buck says, eyes wandering over Eddie’s face, and up to his hair, his hand soon following - but Eddie flinches away, putting his own hand up in between them as a barrier. 

���Hey, you’re gonna ruin it - she’s very expensive,” he says, barely getting through the words before they’re both laughing - warm, bright chuckles bouncing around the room. When they start to trail off, Buck bends his arm a little bit more, tugging Eddie closer, as he places his other hand on the side of his face, nudging their noses together. 

“I’m very sorry.” 

“You better be,” Eddie hums, right as Buck grins and goes in for a warm, languid kiss - not too much, just in case they’re interrupted, but certainly more than a peck. He pulls away, only to be tugged back in for another one - and then a third, Eddie’s arm coming to rest around his waist. 

When they part, Buck stays right where he is, leaning his forehead against Eddie’s temple, listening intently to the sigh that leaves his lips. 

“What?” Buck asks quietly; Eddie brings a hand to his hair, resting some of the strands in his palm, looking down at them for a second before he turns to meet Buck’s eyes. 

“You think she’s gonna be mad?” 

“Yes,” Buck says without a single second’s hesitation. “She’s six. She’s gonna be mad at you,” he nods, as he tucks a strand of it behind his ear (making very sure to stay away from the butterfly clips.) It’s long now - really long - past his waist, in fact. Eddie could probably have cut it a little bit at some point, but Buck knows that he would never do that - this was never really about having long hair, as much as it was about not cutting it. Once he cuts it, he’s cutting it. 

Eddie huffs a laugh, teasingly knocking his temple against Buck’s. 

“Maddie can take over your chair, Jee’s getting too old for butterfly clips,” Buck shrugs then, only to have Eddie turn his head, a deep frown line developing in his forehead. 

“Too old for butterfly clips?” he asks, an extremely dramatic look of offense on his face. “Excuse me?” 

Buck tilts his head back with laughter, Eddie’s soon joining in, bouncing against the walls of their happy home. 

ao3 wrapped (writers edition) 📝