#I'm so bad at endings

[vodika-vibes]

Post Order 66 - Part 5

The ship arrives on Alderaan, and Fox contemplates the way his life has suddenly changed for the better.

Very minorly proofread. One I post it, it’s not my problem. My words got away from me, so it’s long ish?I started typing this at 7:30 am and it’s now 9:30, so I feel accomplished. Please don’t be afraid to comment or reblog with comments. 

Tagging: @starrrgazingbunny and @thestarwarslesbian

Sometimes, it was hard to remember that he was no longer a soldier of the Empire. And it was harder to remember that Palpatine no longer had access to him.

Some mornings, Fox woke up dreading the day. Dreading the things he would have to do. The things he would have to see. And then Kanna would bump her forehead against his collar bone, or she would mumble something in her sleep, and he would fall back into reality.

His gaze flickered to the side, where Kanna was still curled up asleep. Her face was pressed into her pillow, and her hair was a tangled mess around her head. He knew, from experience now, that she meant to braid her hair before bed every night. And every night she forgot.

He worried that she was neglecting herself to care for the men on the ship. It wouldn’t be the first time that she put the wellbeing of the Clones over her own, after all. 

She said she was fine. That she was happy to help them. That it was her force given duty to help them. But she survived a massacre. A massacre that was perpetuated by the self-same men she was trying to help. And if she was focusing all of her attention on helping them, then who was helping her. 

He shifted, and paused, his gaze dropping from the back of Kanna’s orange head, to her arm. Her arm which was laying on top of the blanket between them. Her arm which he had a white-knuckled grip on. A grip tight enough that he could already see bruises forming on her skin.

Fox’s mind raced, even as he quickly released her arm. He didn’t remember having any nightmares. Hell, Kanna had promised that she would keep the nightmares at bay for one night. So. So why-

Panic gripped him. Was he losing time again? What if he hurt her even more? Or Dusk, or Cody? People always got hurt when he lost time...what if he wasn’t as free from Palpatine as Kanna promised? She would never lie to him, but Palpatine was so much more powerful than she was-

Warm fingers carded gently through his hair, and he felt a light touch on his cheek. Followed by a very familiar sensation that was purely Kanna, washing through him, breaking the panic with an ease that should have been concerning, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel more than just warm and safe.

“There we go,” Kanna’s voice was rough with sleep, “Are you back with me, Fox?”

He swallowed hard, “I didn’t mean to wake you-”

“No harm done.” She smiled at him, “Do you want to talk about what upset you so much?”

He hesitated for a moment. Shame, mixed with horror and revulsion, threatened to overwhelm him, and the sensation of Kanna washed over him once again, and it washed all of the bad away. “I grabbed you again last night.”

“It’s okay, Fox. It was an accident.”

“You have a bruise.” His voice was flat, “I could have seriously hurt you. Maybe we should rethink this sleeping arrangement-” Okay, and there was that panic again.

Kanna moved so that she was sitting on her knees, and both of her hands cupped his face. Fox couldn’t tear his gaze away from the already purpling bruise on her arm. A bruise in the shape of a hand. His hand. “Fox, listen to me.” His gaze lingered on the bruise, but slowly dragged up to her face. He scanned her expression, she looked serious and worried. Her eye mask was red, he absently wondered why she switched away from pastel colors. “Do I have you, Fox?”

“...yes.” He sounded weak to his own ears, and he kind of hated himself for it. 

“Okay. If you want to change the way we’re set up, then we can. But Fox. I’m not as fragile as you think I am. You cannot hurt me in any way that I can’t fix.” Kanna spoke slowly and clearly, making sure that he heard every word. “I can handle a few bruises.”

“And what if Palpatine still has control over me? What if he makes me kill you?” Fox asked.

She scowled at the mention of Palpatine. “He doesn’t.” Kanna said firmly. “Fox, I spent the last two weeks slowly stripping away of the the influence Palpatine had over you. He’s gone. I promise.”

“But what if-”

“Do you trust me?” 

“...more than myself, right now.” Fox admitted.

“Then trust me on this. Please.”

Fox was quiet for a moment, before he reached out and lightly touched the large bruise on her wrist, “Okay. But, will you let Bee make sure I didn’t hurt you more seriously? Please?”

“If it will help you feel more comfortable, then yes, I will.” Kanna promised, “We can even go together, so you can hear for yourself.”

Fox nodded and carefully extricated himself from the bed. He would use the sonic, and dress, and then drag Kanna to Bee himself if he had to.

*******************

“So. Alderaan,” Cody stared out at the planet that they were waiting for permission to land on. “Based on what you said to Kanna and Fox, we’re going to be there for a while?” 

Dusk grimaced, “I’m thinking that Bail might be able to point us in the direction of the Rebellion.” He admitted.

“You think a Republic Senator will point us in the direction of the illegal rebellion?” Cody asked, sounding doubtful. Sure, he knew that Obi-Wan had considered Bail Organa a friend, but he was pretty sure that Obi-Wan would  consider Asajj a friend, with as much time as they spent together.

His General really was a fucking di’kut.

“I trust him, Cody. Why else would I leave the kids in his care?” Dusk countered with a roll of his eyes. “Plus, with Kanna and Fox added to the crew, the Starsinger isn’t really big enough anymore.”

“What makes you think Kanna and Fox won’t want to stay on Alderaan?” Cody asked, genuinely curious.

Dusk hesitated, “It’ll be safer for them to remain mobile, I think.” He finally said, “Bail and Breha would shield us, but they have their own kid to think about.”

“But they’re willing to watch three Jedi?”

“I think Breha is of the opinion that they’re our children.” Dusk admitted, as his ears started to burn in embarrassment.

“...you know. Rex did mention something about you and the Royal Family of Alderaan-”

“We’re not talking about this!” Dusk blurted.

“Talking about what?” Kanna asked as she stepped into the cockpit and settled in one of the jump seats. Cody allowed his gaze to linger on the bacta infused bandages wrapped around her wrist for a moment, before his gaze jumped to the guilty looking Fox.

He decided not to mention it.

“Apparently, Dusk here is the official Sugar Baby of Queen Breha and Senator Bail of Alderaan.” Cody drawled, a grin crossing his face when Dusk’s face became even redder.

Amusement flickered across Fox’s face, “So it’s official then? What’s your title? Prince Consort #2? Her Royal Majesty’s Boytoy?”

“Can we stop talking about this?” Dusk asked, burying his face in his hands. “It’s not like that.”

Cody opened his mouth to say something, but the comm interrupted him before he could, “Attention Alderaanian Vessel HRM 23991. You have received docking permissions at Docking Bay 04, please follow the beacons on your display.”

“Copy that, Flight Control,” Dusk replied, as he brought the ship into the atmosphere.

Kanna, sitting behind Cody, tilted her head curiously, “Unless I’m mistaken,” She said slowly, “On Alderaan, Docking Bays 1-30 are reserved for members of the royal family.”

Cody and Fox turned their attention away from Kanna and onto Dusk, who was blushing red, “Thank you Kanna,” He groused, “You’re so helpful.”

Turned out, that Docking Bay 04 was actually located at the Royal Palace of Alderaan. And, as the small crew stepped off of the ship, they were greeted by Breha and Bail, as well as four children.

“Buir!” Yin and Marral tackled Dusk as soon as he was close enough.

“Bu!” Rhawl ran after them, and tried to climb Dusk to get a proper hug.

And there on Rhawl’s heels, was a tiny little girl with brown hair who also hugged Dusk, “Bu!” She shouted happily.

Dusk blinked. “One,” He pointed to Marral, “Two” his finger moved to Yin, “Three,” He lightly tapped Rhawl’s nose, and then, “Four.” He tapped two fingers to little Princess Leia’s forehead, “You don’t belong to me, Imp.”

Leia giggled madly and lifted her arms, “Bu! Bu! Bu!” Dusk obediently scooped her and Rhawl into his arms, and turned to greet Bail and Breha, who were following at a much more sedate pace.

“Welcome back, Dusk,” Breha said with a warm smile. Somehow, her welcome back felt like welcome home, and Dusk resolutely ignored his snickering in the background.

“Thank you, your majesty. I hope my little hellions weren’t too much trouble,” Dusk greeted with a smile, even as he tried to hand Leia over to her father, though she seemed hellbent on remaining in Dusk’s arms.

“Nonsense, Leia was thrilled to have a playmate her own age.” Bail replied, though his gaze flickered to the group behind Dusk, lingering on Kanna and Fox for a moment, “I take it your mission was a success?”

Dusk nodded once, “Yeah. We won’t stay long, Bail. I know you’re already putting yourself in danger just doing this much.”

“You can stay for the remainder of the week.” Breha interjected, “Your ship won’t be ready until then.”

“...Last I checked the Starsinger is still in fine shape.” Dusk said slowly.

She smiled, “It’s far too small now, Dear One.” She said gently, “So I bought you another, much larger one.” She clapped, “Now, let’s get our guests inside, and into some proper clothing.”

Two hours later, everyone was clean and in fresh clothing, and were sitting around the private sitting room. Kanna was sitting on the floor, leading a meditation for the four children, though for Leia and Rhawl, it was less meditation and more naptime.

Dusk, Fox, and Cody were sitting on various chairs around the room, with Bail and Breha happily hosting them. Though, it didn’t take long for the conversation to become slightly more serious.

“Bail, I’m thinking it might be time for me to throw my support behind the Rebellion,” Dusk said, when there was a lull in the conversation, “What can you tell me?”

Bail frowned thoughtfully, “There aren’t many cells that would be happy to accept clones, though all of them would accept a Jedi,” He glanced at Kanna, who was patiently coaching Leia and Rhawl through their first meditation, “Especially a Jedi Healer.”

Fox tapped an anxious rhythm out on the table, “Kanna used to get into fistfights with people who badmouthed the clones,” He admitted, “She showed up in out barracks with a bloody nose and knuckles on more than one occasion. She’d refuse to stay someplace where we weren’t welcome.”

“That does limit your options,” Breha murmured quietly, “There is that one cell that has clones,” She reminded her husband.

“True. I’ll send them a message, and see what we can make happen.” Bail agreed, and then he smiled. “Any other concerns?”

Cody shifted, “Kanna told me that General Kenobi is still alive. Do you know where he is?”

Bail and Breha shared a look, and Breha nodded slowly at her husband. “I do, yes.” Bail admitted, “He assigned himself a mission, and he’s not going to abandon it, not even for you.” He wasn’t trying to be cruel. He was just trying to warn them.

“Respectfully, sir, I won��t believe that unless General Kenobi tells me himself.” Cody replied as politely as he could.

Bail stared at him, and then nodded, “He’s on Tatooine. Living in the Wastes. He calls himself Ben now. If you would take some advice. When you go to speak with him, bring Kanna. He’s less likely to flee from a Jedi he knows.”

“That makes sense.” Dusk murmured, “We might even just send her. Let her explain everything, before we come in.”

“I take it we’re not joining the rebellion right away,” Kanna said as she approached, Leia asleep in her arms. 

“No, we’re making a pitstop on Tatooine.” Dusk replied.

“Hm. Okay,” Kanna placed Leia in Breha’s arms, “She wore herself out.” And then Kanna hesitated, “You’re both aware that she’s force sensitive, right?”

Breha nodded, “Yes. Her biological father was a Jedi.”

“She’s going to need training.” Kanna said as she folded her arms over her chest, “If only so she doesn’t draw the attention of the Inquisitors.”

“Are you offering?” Bail asked hopefully.

“I mean, I will if you want. But, from what I gathered, odds are I won’t be on one planet for long periods of time.” Kanna shifted, “But you have time. She’s still young, after all.”

“Thank you,” Bail said softly, and then he shook his head, “But, where are my manners. You’re all going to need rooms for tonight. One for each of you?” He asked.

Dusk coughed, “Kanna and Fox share for medical reasons.”

“Of course, that’s easy enough to accommodate.” Breha assured the pair, “And Dusk, will you be sharing with me and Bail?” She asked, with a would-be innocent smile on her face.

“I-uh...” Dusk’s face burned red, “Yeah. Okay.” He jabbed a finger at Cody, “Not. A. Word.”

Breha had a stunning smile on her face, “Wonderful! Leia has been sharing her room with Rhawl. While Yin and Marral have their own rooms. So only two additional rooms need to be set up. I’ll get right on that.”

Bail watched his wife leave the room with an adoring look on his face, “She’s amazing isn’t she?”

“I didn’t know that Dusk could turn that shade of red.” Fox murmured, a small grin on his lips.

Bail turned to look at Dusk, and he had the same adoring look on his face directed at Dusk as he did when he looked at Breha, “He’s always been rather adorable. Breha greatly enjoys making him blush, she always has.”

Dusk stood suddenly, “I’m taking Rhawl to bed,” He blurted.

“Great, I’ll come with you!” Bail said cheerfully.

“Why?”

Bail’s grin widened, “I like seeing you blush too.” He glanced at the three other adults in the room, “Someone will come and show you to your rooms in a bit,” He promised, “Dinner is at 7.”

Cody watched as Dusk and Bail left the room, with Rhawl sound asleep in Dusk’s arms. “You know, for the first time in a long time, I think we might actually be okay.”

Fox hummed his agreement, “We’re getting there, vod.”

[krazys-ass-emporium]

AH, yes, finally, I can work a freaking Bible verse into my fanfic... after 30k words... and it's the title of the fic.

[xamitras]

For many of years I had this tradition of drawing Wirt and the beast once a year to see how much I have improved, then depression hit in 2023 and couldn't continue, but it left so really amazing art in the process

[stuckinapril]

lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Me when I really want to draw fanart for a fandom because it looks so cool, but I haven't the slightest idea about any deeper lore than surface level plot and symbolism

[blondie-drawings]

Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[spielzeugkaiser]

How it started-

How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-

[collophora]

Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness

(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)

[janedoe297-art]

HELLO???? I'm OBSESSED with their reunion scene 😭💘

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((this is also availabe as a print!!))

[littleblackraincloudofcourse]

My apologies to the hard working, unfairly treated, writers, directors, cast and crew but I am not exaggerating when I say I am one more cancelation from not being willing to start any more new shows. I can't keep getting attached to these characters and excited to see their stories only for them to canceled after one or two seasons and never be told. Especially when most of them only get eight episodes or less. I wouldn't mind short seasons if I got a complete story but that rarely happens anymore.

[hajihiko]

Nice night 🌘

[idliketobeatree]

The lighting in the S1 1941 flashback is so painfully dark I was rewatching it on a 150% brightness and perhaps I am five years late, but how come I've never noticed that this

is how Aziraphale gazes at Crowley before the "little demonic miracle of my own"???

This is him before the love realisation, just after Aziraphale miracled them both safe from the bomb exploding on the church with the Nazis. No heartwarming acts of service yet — best to his knowledge, Crowley was only there for moral support, because he "didn't want him to get embarassed". And his gaze is— I don't know what to say. Like it would kill him to look away. So fond, so immersed, "oh God, there you are", like hundreds of years have passed, not decades since they saw each other last. Books? What books? What air raid, what war?

Arguably the best part of the scene happens literal seconds after. If you pay close attention to the whole shot, you'll spot the brown satchel on the side. Which Aziraphale would notice earlier too, if he could focus on anything other than Crowley.

[clouvu]

Save me french yuri... Save me

[xulips]

about you, love