#I'm so bad at endings

[vodika-vibes]

Post Order 66 - Part 5

The ship arrives on Alderaan, and Fox contemplates the way his life has suddenly changed for the better.

Very minorly proofread. One I post it, it’s not my problem. My words got away from me, so it’s long ish?I started typing this at 7:30 am and it’s now 9:30, so I feel accomplished. Please don’t be afraid to comment or reblog with comments. 

Tagging: @starrrgazingbunny and @thestarwarslesbian

Sometimes, it was hard to remember that he was no longer a soldier of the Empire. And it was harder to remember that Palpatine no longer had access to him.

Some mornings, Fox woke up dreading the day. Dreading the things he would have to do. The things he would have to see. And then Kanna would bump her forehead against his collar bone, or she would mumble something in her sleep, and he would fall back into reality.

His gaze flickered to the side, where Kanna was still curled up asleep. Her face was pressed into her pillow, and her hair was a tangled mess around her head. He knew, from experience now, that she meant to braid her hair before bed every night. And every night she forgot.

He worried that she was neglecting herself to care for the men on the ship. It wouldn’t be the first time that she put the wellbeing of the Clones over her own, after all. 

She said she was fine. That she was happy to help them. That it was her force given duty to help them. But she survived a massacre. A massacre that was perpetuated by the self-same men she was trying to help. And if she was focusing all of her attention on helping them, then who was helping her. 

He shifted, and paused, his gaze dropping from the back of Kanna’s orange head, to her arm. Her arm which was laying on top of the blanket between them. Her arm which he had a white-knuckled grip on. A grip tight enough that he could already see bruises forming on her skin.

Fox’s mind raced, even as he quickly released her arm. He didn’t remember having any nightmares. Hell, Kanna had promised that she would keep the nightmares at bay for one night. So. So why-

Panic gripped him. Was he losing time again? What if he hurt her even more? Or Dusk, or Cody? People always got hurt when he lost time...what if he wasn’t as free from Palpatine as Kanna promised? She would never lie to him, but Palpatine was so much more powerful than she was-

Warm fingers carded gently through his hair, and he felt a light touch on his cheek. Followed by a very familiar sensation that was purely Kanna, washing through him, breaking the panic with an ease that should have been concerning, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel more than just warm and safe.

“There we go,” Kanna’s voice was rough with sleep, “Are you back with me, Fox?”

He swallowed hard, “I didn’t mean to wake you-”

“No harm done.” She smiled at him, “Do you want to talk about what upset you so much?”

He hesitated for a moment. Shame, mixed with horror and revulsion, threatened to overwhelm him, and the sensation of Kanna washed over him once again, and it washed all of the bad away. “I grabbed you again last night.”

“It’s okay, Fox. It was an accident.”

“You have a bruise.” His voice was flat, “I could have seriously hurt you. Maybe we should rethink this sleeping arrangement-” Okay, and there was that panic again.

Kanna moved so that she was sitting on her knees, and both of her hands cupped his face. Fox couldn’t tear his gaze away from the already purpling bruise on her arm. A bruise in the shape of a hand. His hand. “Fox, listen to me.” His gaze lingered on the bruise, but slowly dragged up to her face. He scanned her expression, she looked serious and worried. Her eye mask was red, he absently wondered why she switched away from pastel colors. “Do I have you, Fox?”

“...yes.” He sounded weak to his own ears, and he kind of hated himself for it. 

“Okay. If you want to change the way we’re set up, then we can. But Fox. I’m not as fragile as you think I am. You cannot hurt me in any way that I can’t fix.” Kanna spoke slowly and clearly, making sure that he heard every word. “I can handle a few bruises.”

“And what if Palpatine still has control over me? What if he makes me kill you?” Fox asked.

She scowled at the mention of Palpatine. “He doesn’t.” Kanna said firmly. “Fox, I spent the last two weeks slowly stripping away of the the influence Palpatine had over you. He’s gone. I promise.”

“But what if-”

“Do you trust me?” 

“...more than myself, right now.” Fox admitted.

“Then trust me on this. Please.”

Fox was quiet for a moment, before he reached out and lightly touched the large bruise on her wrist, “Okay. But, will you let Bee make sure I didn’t hurt you more seriously? Please?”

“If it will help you feel more comfortable, then yes, I will.” Kanna promised, “We can even go together, so you can hear for yourself.”

Fox nodded and carefully extricated himself from the bed. He would use the sonic, and dress, and then drag Kanna to Bee himself if he had to.

*******************

“So. Alderaan,” Cody stared out at the planet that they were waiting for permission to land on. “Based on what you said to Kanna and Fox, we’re going to be there for a while?” 

Dusk grimaced, “I’m thinking that Bail might be able to point us in the direction of the Rebellion.” He admitted.

“You think a Republic Senator will point us in the direction of the illegal rebellion?” Cody asked, sounding doubtful. Sure, he knew that Obi-Wan had considered Bail Organa a friend, but he was pretty sure that Obi-Wan would  consider Asajj a friend, with as much time as they spent together.

His General really was a fucking di’kut.

“I trust him, Cody. Why else would I leave the kids in his care?” Dusk countered with a roll of his eyes. “Plus, with Kanna and Fox added to the crew, the Starsinger isn’t really big enough anymore.”

“What makes you think Kanna and Fox won’t want to stay on Alderaan?” Cody asked, genuinely curious.

Dusk hesitated, “It’ll be safer for them to remain mobile, I think.” He finally said, “Bail and Breha would shield us, but they have their own kid to think about.”

“But they’re willing to watch three Jedi?”

“I think Breha is of the opinion that they’re our children.” Dusk admitted, as his ears started to burn in embarrassment.

“...you know. Rex did mention something about you and the Royal Family of Alderaan-”

“We’re not talking about this!” Dusk blurted.

“Talking about what?” Kanna asked as she stepped into the cockpit and settled in one of the jump seats. Cody allowed his gaze to linger on the bacta infused bandages wrapped around her wrist for a moment, before his gaze jumped to the guilty looking Fox.

He decided not to mention it.

“Apparently, Dusk here is the official Sugar Baby of Queen Breha and Senator Bail of Alderaan.” Cody drawled, a grin crossing his face when Dusk’s face became even redder.

Amusement flickered across Fox’s face, “So it’s official then? What’s your title? Prince Consort #2? Her Royal Majesty’s Boytoy?”

“Can we stop talking about this?” Dusk asked, burying his face in his hands. “It’s not like that.”

Cody opened his mouth to say something, but the comm interrupted him before he could, “Attention Alderaanian Vessel HRM 23991. You have received docking permissions at Docking Bay 04, please follow the beacons on your display.”

“Copy that, Flight Control,” Dusk replied, as he brought the ship into the atmosphere.

Kanna, sitting behind Cody, tilted her head curiously, “Unless I’m mistaken,” She said slowly, “On Alderaan, Docking Bays 1-30 are reserved for members of the royal family.”

Cody and Fox turned their attention away from Kanna and onto Dusk, who was blushing red, “Thank you Kanna,” He groused, “You’re so helpful.”

Turned out, that Docking Bay 04 was actually located at the Royal Palace of Alderaan. And, as the small crew stepped off of the ship, they were greeted by Breha and Bail, as well as four children.

“Buir!” Yin and Marral tackled Dusk as soon as he was close enough.

“Bu!” Rhawl ran after them, and tried to climb Dusk to get a proper hug.

And there on Rhawl’s heels, was a tiny little girl with brown hair who also hugged Dusk, “Bu!” She shouted happily.

Dusk blinked. “One,” He pointed to Marral, “Two” his finger moved to Yin, “Three,” He lightly tapped Rhawl’s nose, and then, “Four.” He tapped two fingers to little Princess Leia’s forehead, “You don’t belong to me, Imp.”

Leia giggled madly and lifted her arms, “Bu! Bu! Bu!” Dusk obediently scooped her and Rhawl into his arms, and turned to greet Bail and Breha, who were following at a much more sedate pace.

“Welcome back, Dusk,” Breha said with a warm smile. Somehow, her welcome back felt like welcome home, and Dusk resolutely ignored his snickering in the background.

“Thank you, your majesty. I hope my little hellions weren’t too much trouble,” Dusk greeted with a smile, even as he tried to hand Leia over to her father, though she seemed hellbent on remaining in Dusk’s arms.

“Nonsense, Leia was thrilled to have a playmate her own age.” Bail replied, though his gaze flickered to the group behind Dusk, lingering on Kanna and Fox for a moment, “I take it your mission was a success?”

Dusk nodded once, “Yeah. We won’t stay long, Bail. I know you’re already putting yourself in danger just doing this much.”

“You can stay for the remainder of the week.” Breha interjected, “Your ship won’t be ready until then.”

“...Last I checked the Starsinger is still in fine shape.” Dusk said slowly.

She smiled, “It’s far too small now, Dear One.” She said gently, “So I bought you another, much larger one.” She clapped, “Now, let’s get our guests inside, and into some proper clothing.”

Two hours later, everyone was clean and in fresh clothing, and were sitting around the private sitting room. Kanna was sitting on the floor, leading a meditation for the four children, though for Leia and Rhawl, it was less meditation and more naptime.

Dusk, Fox, and Cody were sitting on various chairs around the room, with Bail and Breha happily hosting them. Though, it didn’t take long for the conversation to become slightly more serious.

“Bail, I’m thinking it might be time for me to throw my support behind the Rebellion,” Dusk said, when there was a lull in the conversation, “What can you tell me?”

Bail frowned thoughtfully, “There aren’t many cells that would be happy to accept clones, though all of them would accept a Jedi,” He glanced at Kanna, who was patiently coaching Leia and Rhawl through their first meditation, “Especially a Jedi Healer.”

Fox tapped an anxious rhythm out on the table, “Kanna used to get into fistfights with people who badmouthed the clones,” He admitted, “She showed up in out barracks with a bloody nose and knuckles on more than one occasion. She’d refuse to stay someplace where we weren’t welcome.”

“That does limit your options,” Breha murmured quietly, “There is that one cell that has clones,” She reminded her husband.

“True. I’ll send them a message, and see what we can make happen.” Bail agreed, and then he smiled. “Any other concerns?”

Cody shifted, “Kanna told me that General Kenobi is still alive. Do you know where he is?”

Bail and Breha shared a look, and Breha nodded slowly at her husband. “I do, yes.” Bail admitted, “He assigned himself a mission, and he’s not going to abandon it, not even for you.” He wasn’t trying to be cruel. He was just trying to warn them.

“Respectfully, sir, I won��t believe that unless General Kenobi tells me himself.” Cody replied as politely as he could.

Bail stared at him, and then nodded, “He’s on Tatooine. Living in the Wastes. He calls himself Ben now. If you would take some advice. When you go to speak with him, bring Kanna. He’s less likely to flee from a Jedi he knows.”

“That makes sense.” Dusk murmured, “We might even just send her. Let her explain everything, before we come in.”

“I take it we’re not joining the rebellion right away,” Kanna said as she approached, Leia asleep in her arms. 

“No, we’re making a pitstop on Tatooine.” Dusk replied.

“Hm. Okay,” Kanna placed Leia in Breha’s arms, “She wore herself out.” And then Kanna hesitated, “You’re both aware that she’s force sensitive, right?”

Breha nodded, “Yes. Her biological father was a Jedi.”

“She’s going to need training.” Kanna said as she folded her arms over her chest, “If only so she doesn’t draw the attention of the Inquisitors.”

“Are you offering?” Bail asked hopefully.

“I mean, I will if you want. But, from what I gathered, odds are I won’t be on one planet for long periods of time.” Kanna shifted, “But you have time. She’s still young, after all.”

“Thank you,” Bail said softly, and then he shook his head, “But, where are my manners. You’re all going to need rooms for tonight. One for each of you?” He asked.

Dusk coughed, “Kanna and Fox share for medical reasons.”

“Of course, that’s easy enough to accommodate.” Breha assured the pair, “And Dusk, will you be sharing with me and Bail?” She asked, with a would-be innocent smile on her face.

“I-uh...” Dusk’s face burned red, “Yeah. Okay.” He jabbed a finger at Cody, “Not. A. Word.”

Breha had a stunning smile on her face, “Wonderful! Leia has been sharing her room with Rhawl. While Yin and Marral have their own rooms. So only two additional rooms need to be set up. I’ll get right on that.”

Bail watched his wife leave the room with an adoring look on his face, “She’s amazing isn’t she?”

“I didn’t know that Dusk could turn that shade of red.” Fox murmured, a small grin on his lips.

Bail turned to look at Dusk, and he had the same adoring look on his face directed at Dusk as he did when he looked at Breha, “He’s always been rather adorable. Breha greatly enjoys making him blush, she always has.”

Dusk stood suddenly, “I’m taking Rhawl to bed,” He blurted.

“Great, I’ll come with you!” Bail said cheerfully.

“Why?”

Bail’s grin widened, “I like seeing you blush too.” He glanced at the three other adults in the room, “Someone will come and show you to your rooms in a bit,” He promised, “Dinner is at 7.”

Cody watched as Dusk and Bail left the room, with Rhawl sound asleep in Dusk’s arms. “You know, for the first time in a long time, I think we might actually be okay.”

Fox hummed his agreement, “We’re getting there, vod.”

[krazys-ass-emporium]

AH, yes, finally, I can work a freaking Bible verse into my fanfic... after 30k words... and it's the title of the fic.

[xamitras]

For many of years I had this tradition of drawing Wirt and the beast once a year to see how much I have improved, then depression hit in 2023 and couldn't continue, but it left so really amazing art in the process

[ghostlypinkbiscuit]

will the hunger ever end

[idontmindifuforgetme]

lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.

[blondie-drawings]

Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2

[egophiliac]

I don’t think we’ve ever seen you draw knight of dawn before 🤔 what are your thoughts about him? Or take?

I've drawn him a couple of times, just really little/in the background. but I should draw him more, I love this guy a lot! I have many, many thoughts about him and the way he parallels Silver...and also I think it is extremely funny that his ghost is stuck in a ring. especially considering where that ring has been for the last 16-ish years.

[hajihiko]

Nice night 🌘

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Me when I really want to draw fanart for a fandom because it looks so cool, but I haven't the slightest idea about any deeper lore than surface level plot and symbolism

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[collophora]

Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness

(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)

[janedoe297-art]

HELLO???? I'm OBSESSED with their reunion scene 😭💘

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((this is also availabe as a print!!))

[idliketobeatree]

The lighting in the S1 1941 flashback is so painfully dark I was rewatching it on a 150% brightness and perhaps I am five years late, but how come I've never noticed that this

is how Aziraphale gazes at Crowley before the "little demonic miracle of my own"???

This is him before the love realisation, just after Aziraphale miracled them both safe from the bomb exploding on the church with the Nazis. No heartwarming acts of service yet — best to his knowledge, Crowley was only there for moral support, because he "didn't want him to get embarassed". And his gaze is— I don't know what to say. Like it would kill him to look away. So fond, so immersed, "oh God, there you are", like hundreds of years have passed, not decades since they saw each other last. Books? What books? What air raid, what war?

Arguably the best part of the scene happens literal seconds after. If you pay close attention to the whole shot, you'll spot the brown satchel on the side. Which Aziraphale would notice earlier too, if he could focus on anything other than Crowley.

[clouvu]

Save me french yuri... Save me