#I'm sitting here worrying that I'm not good enough for even a fictional character

[fitzselfships]

Going through another Worrying about being abandoned by a fictional character moment 🙃

[quimichi]

It's me the little guy Fae >:3 and I'm here for your match up event

Fandoms

Honkai and/or genshin

Pronouns

She/they

Hobbies

Illustration, crochet, embroidery, watercolor, gaming, TTRPGs (tabletop role-playing games) like DND, putting my characters through absolute hell (writing)

Gender preference

With fictional characters I prefer men but I love me a tall sexy evil Woman

Personality

Don't listen to what my hobbies say about me, I'm actually a chaotic little shit who runs circles around my friends. I do my best to give support when needed whether it be mentally or with a technical issue but I'm sure you knew this stuff before because we are friends on here. Though I will say I am depressed and that may impact the character I may or may not get matched with.

Fun facts

I really like foxes :)

And jellyfish :))

While it's not common enough to be a hobby I do know how to sew

My favorite colors are pastel pink and yellow

Well I prefer a cottagecore aesthetic for myself I actually don't prefer that in a partner.

I'm not a Neuvillette main but my autistic ass will go off about water (different bottles of water have completely different tastes you cannot change my mind)(also cold water tastes sharp and warm water tastes round I will not be taking criticism on this)

I don't have a green thumb per se because all my plants are suffering but they stubbornly cling on to life no matter how much I neglect them.

If you need more you know where to find me

A/n: I'M SORRY BESTIE BUT MY HEAD WENT "DOMESTIC" THE ENTIRE TIME---

ARLECCHINO

@ NO CAUSE HEAR ME OUT

@ you loce cottage core, and your hobbies are stuff like crochet and watercoloring. Its cute and i feel like Arlecchino matches that somehow??

@ listen, she is much more softer than she looks. She loves the kids and does really care about them, i think this cute little domestic life would fit her and would also be a dream for her

@ although she grows the kids into the fatui, she loves them dearly, can't show it tho-

@ but anyway--imagine sitting side by side near a fireplace while she reads a book and you do your thing beside her. No talking, just enjoying each others company

@ loooves to do domestic things with you, like cooking together, baking a cake, reading a book, crochet or bathing together.

@ i think she can do embroidery and crochet but not so good-teach her, she will actually listen. She's a little tsundere but she'll listen and she will learn pretty fast.

@ it's important that the twins and freminet like you, they visit quite often or she visits them. If they don't like you, or any of the kids in the house of the hearth, she would be quite skeptical about you then

@ lucky for you cause...they love you, duh?? Who wouldn't.

@ you're very parental, you give great comfort and you like to play with the kids.

@ and Arlecchino loves to watch lol

@ now to your depressed state. She will take it very seriously and will tell you so many times to rest and take care. She would give you the best tea from liyue, only the best watercolors from Fontaine, and the best baked goods so you can relax.

@ she would also leave you your space if needed. It wouldn't really bring her down, she would just be worried about you, but as a strong woman she wouldn't show it to you, that would only bring YOU down.

@ so dw, daddy Arlecchino will take care of everything. And if someone bothers you...well...you know...

GEPARD

@ listen it was hard for hsr ok---

@ for some reason I see you with Gepard---

@ also for the same reasons as Arlecchino, the little domestic life won't go out of my head for you-and Gepard also fits this

@ like-he comes home from work, also brought some goods from the bakery so you both can enjoy some sweets after dinner (which you both prepare together) and then after dinner and dessert you both cuddle on the couch while watching the snowflakes dance outside Belobog

@ if you ever decide to crochet him idk socks or something, he will wear them with pride. Even if they're pink with glitter, he ADORES them.

@ wears them under his gear lol. Like Belebog is cold he appreciates any warmth that he gets. And what is warmer than your love~♡

@ (I'm disgusting-)

@ super shy, we all know, so it took him a bit to gain the confidence to ask you out- I can see you being friends with Serval so--Imagine asking out the friend of your sister?? Yeah I'd piss myself too-

@ but Serval was pretty supportive sooo dw, it all worked out very well

@ ans Lynx is also not complaining with you so the relationship is blessed ♡

@ helps around the house, he was raised good :)

@ also, if he has every a free day and you have to work, he takes care of the things at home and cooks for you ♡♡♡

@ also runs you a bath. Spends his entire day making you smile when you come home.

@ very overprotective too. Can't stand seeing you sad or having a bad day or depressed episode, so he does everything in his power to change that

@ even if it means for him to act like a complete idiot just to see a smile, cause trust me, he would

[writingquestionsanswered]

I finally have motivation to write but no inspiration. I have a bunch of ideas, but not well fleshed-out, pretty weak, and feels there's no "point" to the story. But I'm struggling to add more to it. I don't feel inspired. There is no drive for my own WIPs. I do have a creative well. I just feel like I'm lacking the heart for writing. But I get so pumped when I see others' WIPs! It's like I have apathy for my own ideas. Am I just not creative enough to be a writer?

Struggling with Creativity & Inspiration

If you feel your "creative well" is full and you're still struggling to find inspiration, I definitely wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you're not creative enough to be a writer. There are a lot of other places where there might be an issue… 1 - You Don't Know Enough About How Stories Work - This is honestly the biggest obstacle for newest writers to overcome. Humanity is so invested in stories, yet the vast majority of us don't really know how they work. Kind of like cars or cell phones. They're a part of daily life for a lot of us, but most of us couldn't really explain a lot about how they work. There are all different kinds of stories and they all work in different ways, but most of them revolve around conflict and follow basic story structure. In fact, most of our favorite stories move forward in the same general way. Once you master these basics, it's easier to flesh out your ideas and figure out where to go with them. My Plot & Story Structure master list is a good place to start.

2 - Your Expectations Are Askew - The next biggest obstacle for newer writers is the mistaken belief that writing should be easy... that you can just sit down with an idea and off you go to write the story that will make you famous. Of course, that isn't how writing works at all. Even if you know how stories work, have fleshed out ideas, an outline, motivation and inspiration, time and energy... you still have to put the words down on paper, and that requires thought and effort as well as acceptance that what you write isn't going to be as amazing as you want it to be. Not until you've written a lot of bad and mediocre stories. And even then, your first drafts will never be final drafts. You have to give yourself permission to write an unpolished mess before you can polish it up into something pretty.

3 - You're Getting Hung Up On Silly Things - If you're anything but an experienced writer, you don't need to worry about "the point" to your story. You don't have to worry about underlying messages, your writing style, motif and theme... You have to focus on quantity before quality, and all those other things will fall into place. If you give yourself permission to write stories that have messy plots, lack point or purpose, have characters with sketchy arcs if any at all, and which aren't super well written, you can learn to write stories where all of those things are really well done.

So... learn the basics of how stories work, then just sit down and write. Take an idea and run with it. Do a writing prompt. Write some fan-fiction. Give yourself permission to write something that won't be good, that you might not even finish. Just start. Don't worry about point. Don't worry about message Don't worry about theme. Don't worry about style. Just start writing. You're not here to write a masterpiece... not yet. :)

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[tinandabin]

helloooo, i would like to request a venti x kanao,gn!reader (help this sounds like i'm ordering at a mcdonalds). but i think it'll be really interesting since kanao didn't have free will for most of her life and venti is just like 'FREEDOMMM LETS GO BABY!!" and if you want, you can add hints of yandere venti if he sees someone talking down on reader because of their indecisiveness

No because yandere platonic venti ( or literally any character ) has my fucking heart in their clutches ( just so u know, I do not condone this type of behaviour and all my works are simply fictional!!! )

______

It was a cold night, the moon was hidden by the clouds and the stars weren't as shiny as they usually were. Maybe it's just you. You don't know where you are. Some strange person took you from your parents and then threw you in this alley. It reeked of booze and junk. People went inside and left, without paying any heed to you. Perhaps it was normal for some kid to be out here. A common occurrence, maybe. Your parents weren't that rich to begin with, so you could say you were 'used' to sleeping in the cold. Sometimes the blanket wasn't enough for you 3.

You could see your breath in the air, your nose red and your legs trembling. The place you were outside of, some 'tavern' you heard a passerby mention, felt warm. You would go inside, but the door was too big for you to push open on your own. You felt sleepy. Your eyelids were heavy, and the chatter inside the tavern was like background noise. Maybe these are your last moments.

"Eh? And what might this fair young lady be doing out here on her own?" You heard a cheerful voice— bubbly, even. But you didn't look at the holder. You were too tired. "Oh dear, you are freezing up! Like a popsicle!" You heard him giggle, and soon enough warmness surrounded you. You felt safe. Maybe an angel came to pick you up? You hope. You rested your head on the stranger's chest, their warmness making you feel complete. "Well, well, aren't you affectionate?" You heard them hum— a male from how their chest was flat voice resounded.

"Don't worry, little one! You are safe with me now. All you have to do is now slumber into the paradise of sweet dreams!" He kept on babbling, maybe to help you sleep faster. It worked. His voice was angel-like, soft, calm and peaceful. So you dozed off. He said you will have the sweetest of dreams, didn't he? You hope so too.

Morning came soon and you were in warm blankets, near a fireplace. Feeling cozy— warm, it was all a new feeling for you.

"Eheh, good morning little one! The morning sunshine embraces you and so a new day begins!" He opens the curtains and allows the sunshine rays to come in. He's kind of like a Disney princess when you think about it. His way of speaking, his cheerful smile and his soft braided hair. Maybe he is a Disney princess.

"Well then! How are you feeling?" He sits down on a chair next to where you were and the question caught you a bit off guard. No one ever asked how you were feeling. So you never thought of it.

"Oka-y." You reply, a stumble in your voice. You rarely spoke, no one was interested in talking with you. So you never bothered.

"That's good to know! Let's go to Good Hunters to get a delicious meal, what'cha say?" He smiled warmly. You felt comforted. He's nice.

You nodded, a small smile blooming on your face and so the days started passing by.

He never questioned why you were in the alley, where your parents were. All he asked was for your name, but your parents didn't bother giving you one. He felt rather disheartened by it, but he was quick to take the opportunity to name you. [Y/N], he said. It sounded nice, so you agreed. He told you he was Venti the bard. His name sounds a bit funny, he reminded you of some foreign drink you heard some guys talking about.

And so the story of [Y/N] and Venti began.

____

a/n: I doubt this was anything like what the anon wanted, but I still hope this was enjoyable. 💗 I doubt this is yandere eheh

MASTERLIST

[tleeaves]

The Fictional Crush Line-Up For 2023 and Beyond

Was going to do this sooner (as in a review on the year based on the new or resurfaced interests I picked up, with aforementioned fictional crushes along the way), but I wanted to collect art for them all too and then I also had to try and remember them all. But here we are. If I'm missing any, I'll either have to edit and or reblog to include them.

See if you can spot any common threads (it may get trickier as the list goes on, just be warned). This goes almost in chronological order. But order does not in any way reflect my level of brainrot and obsession with each.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE FRAGILE THREADS OF POWER, BALDUR'S GATE III, AND ARCANE: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS (SPECIFICALLY REGARDING VIKTOR).

Consider yourself warned.

Victor Vale (Vicious by V.E. Schwab)

Victor and his revenge story are kind of responsible for kick-starting my journey of self-rediscovery these past twelve months, in a strange and roundabout way. He made me want to stick up for myself and what I wanted out of life. Sure, he's extremely morally grey in a concerning way, and yeah, we don't normally encourage revenge, but I found him a comfort at a difficult time. But also, I could totally fix him (no one can and it's no one's responsibility, yet the sentiment is still there). I'm not usually one for blonds (I am a liar) but his cold aesthetic is oddly pleasing. There's nothing I understand more than an awe that rots into resentment and envy while maintaining the same thread of fascination with someone. "Victor Vale was not a fucking sidekick" is just a, mwah, chef's kiss line. Honestly, I have less of a crush on this guy, more of an understanding that I appreciate. Also, I haven't even mentioned the chronic pain implications and canon uses of his powers. But that might be for another time.

Viktor (Arcane: League of Legends)

Another Viktor with chronic illness themes and whose (in LoL lore) regard for a partner in science goes sour over time as they pursue different objectives (not seen in the Netflix series yet, of course, it's too early for glorious evolution). This guy always comes back to rot in my brain, and I cannot wait for season 2 later this year to see what comes of his arc. I'm planning a fanfic involving him, Jayce, and maybe/sort of Jinx, based on a dream I had months ago but still have swirling in the soup that is my consciousness. There is something so pretty about this guy. If I was more confident in my sketching abilities, he'd end up being my muse way too often. Viktor's character to me is kind of a tragedy personified, and I love a good tragedy. Oh, and his voice actor?? Amazing. There's some debate over how authentic he sounds to Eastern Europeans, but the accent aside still, he sounds sooo good. I want to sit in on a lecture where he speaks about literally anything for two hours.

Kell Maresh (A Darker Shade of Magic; The Fragile Threads of Power by V.E. Schwab)

Usually, I don't talk about Kell because of how silly I feel like my crush on him is. I identify with Delilah "Lila" Bard throughout ADSOM and even Threads, so I hate further mentioning how much I actually think about Kell because I'd have to fist fight anyone who said I only relate to her because of Kell when that's not the truth. And yet, there's still enough differences between Lila and I for me to be like "if I had to pick a woman in the Schwabverse..." But also, MAYBE I JUST THINK KELL IS GORGEOUS, OKAY? 🫣 Maybe I like that he starts as a somewhat naive prince who's had things both easy and rough in life (wanting to be loved by the only family you know and not feel like you're only there to protect your adoptive brother whom your parents tried to tell you both was not actually your brother and you should stop treating each other as such is VALID, argue with the wall, also he's the bodyguard and eternal worrier (yes, worrying) for Rhy and he's taken lives way too young). Maybe I like that he fell first and fell hard for Lila (okay, but if we're getting into the nitty-gritty, she did flirt with him first multiple times, but she would never admit to actual feelings), that he's the male love interest without reservations for once, leaving it up to Lila and whether she's open to love for once in a story. And yeah, okay, maybe I like that he's actually some kind of a prince charming, the sort you always secretly dream about, you know? Shut up. I like his stupid magic coat too. He's clever, but occasionally actually unbelievably dumb, he's funny and witty yet he knows when to keep his mouth shut (and is usually the one hauling others out of a scrap because of their own smart mouths), he cares too much about his family, AND DID I MENTION HE ALSO HAS CHRONIC ILLNESS THEMES THAT BROKE MY DAMN CHRONICALLY ILL AND IN PAIN HEART? I've said too much already, but there. He's a guy.

Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man: Across The SpiderVerse)

This is the one my sister teases me most about because she doesn't get it. To be honest with you all, even I don't know how to explain it. But this guy. Miguel. There is something about him that I just abdkjdjsdv, you know? Is it the tragedy? The moral greyness? The fangs? His insane height? Just his fanon self? The fucking muscles?? I don't know. But I will defend how interesting he is as an antagonist until the cows come home.

Elliott (Stardew Valley)

Oh... boy. Sometimes, I realise I have a type. It's pretty guys who are hopeless romantics that write novels and poetry. Maybe it's just this one guy. But wow, it works on me. I'm writing a fanfic about him because I need to. There's only 400-odd words to it so far. It was not long after I met him in the game that I decided I had to wife him up. I planted that pomegranate tree early, because it's his favourite fruit for those who don't know, and he loves receiving them as a gift. I got ducks so I could give him their stray feathers. I learned how and when to find lobsters and catch crabs because he loves those too. If I'm out of gifts, I go get a coffee for him because every writer needs their sustenance. Literally, by Spring of Year 2, we were married, and I wondered if perhaps I might have been a little too single-mindedly pursuing every one of those cut scenes when I should have been taking it a bit slower and making it less of a mission. Don't know what to tell you, I went crazy. I fully believe in the headcanon that he gets up early just to go through his haircare routine. Is he pretentious? Maybe. Does he lay it on a little too thick that he's scared of dying alone? Well, okay, yes. Does it bother me that as a househusband he doesn't help out more on the farm? Occasionally. But there's also no one else I'd rather be with (and I developed a sprinkler system specifically so there was less work for me anyway and so now I don't mind at all when he isn't helping). And I can't believe my sister ever introduced me to Stardew Valley because I am now mentally ill about a videogame character made of pixels. Yes, I make wine just for him too. Hush. I spoil him daily now that we're married. Our first child is a son named Ernest. I was debating between Ernest and Edgar, and honestly, I think I should have gone with the latter, but I chose the former. All the dialogue from Elliott is so frickin' cute.

Astarion Ancunín (Baldur's Gate III)

And do you know what the worst part about this one is? I still haven't actually played Baldur's Gate III. I know, I KNOW. A crime. I'm working on it. But you best believe I've watched every cutscene I can, every scrap of gameplay dialogue, all the choices, the different endings you can get with him (Ascended breaks my heart every time -- I don't care how hot he is, it's not what he would have wanted, he doesn't love you like he used to anymore, and he's not as happy as he could be), and I've listened to all the interviews with Neil Newbon and the writer for Astarion about him. This fruity traumatised vampire haunts me. I want to hold him gently and caress his face and tell him he's beautiful and what he looks like to me since he hasn't seen his reflection in centuries and I want to make sure he knows he's loved. I want him to bite me and drink my blood too, but that's not as important. Does it weird me out how much he reminds me of Prince Charming from the Shrek franchise and Preminger from Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper and then aesthetically Asra from The Arcana: A Mystic Romance? Yes. But Astarion's also his own character and I'm in love with his smile and goofy lines.

Settrigh "Sett" (Heartsteel; League of Legends)

This... might be the lowest point, actually 💀 My sister would agree. Because it's not enough to crush on book characters, show characters, and videogame characters -- while technically this guy is a videogame character and was part of League of Legends waaay before the music video, it was the PARANOIA music video that got me. So, even fictional characters made/involved in music videos are not safe from my heart. Because, as I understand it, OG Sett is a bit different from Heartsteel Sett, and I've found I usually prefer reading about the interpretation of the latter in fanfic more than the former. I mean, I still really, really enjoy fanfics where he's The Big Boss of the pits, and or his other background/lore is included, but I've read some where his old personality is a bit Yikes. The golden retriever energy is my favourite era of his if we can call it that (I still headcanon him as a part fox Vastayan, you can't convince me otherwise so go argue with someone else about it, not me). And honestly, I think I might have read more fics involving Sett in 2023 than I did any of the other characters on this list. Which is saying something since he's not as popular as a few of them. He's a pretty guy and I wish to bite him. Lovingly.

Mizu (Blue Eye Samurai)

Oh woman. Mizu is... is... she's basically my wife. I know she's all our wife, but like just let me dream a little here. As soon as I finished the series, I was opening up Tumblr, Pinterest, and AO3, my holy trinity of fandom. My platonic wife was sending me TikToks of our shared fictional wife. Mizu can wind up non-binary, male, female, I honestly do not mind because I am in love with any version she is/becomes (for now, I interpret her as a woman in disguise, but if that changes, I'll absolutely change how I refer to Mizu). She is a tragedy wrapped up in revenge because of a rotten love and unfortunate parentage and time period. I want her as much as I want to be her. Also? I go insane over her little smiles and smirks. I LOVE when we got to hear her laugh, even if it was mostly the flashbacks (do not mention Mikio near me; if he wasn't already dead, I would kill him). Also, who doesn't hate their British/white half, ahaha, oh my god, I know mixed ethnicity is a hot topic for people who do not want POC whitewashed in media, and I fully understand that, but I do appreciate seeing parts of myself in mixed characters like the conflict between trying to be more like one side than another. I'll also admit it: she does indeed look hot covered in blood and carrying a sword. I'll see myself out the door. I've been wanting to write a fanfic about her but I'm still stewing over ideas. Mizu is also probably my first truly major crush on a fictional woman (other than my childhood crush on Helga Sinclair from Atlantis: The Lost Empire). Vi from Arcane comes pretty close, but I see too much of myself in her that it gets weird.

We'll do some honourable mentions for characters from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim since I've gotten into that again.

Brynjolf, Hadvar, and Nazir, I wish I could mod my gameplay so I could marry you. The developers hated their men-loving gamers (I know the women-lovers complain about Serana, but she will never be as heartbreaking as Brynjolf, I don't care if she recognises proposals only to decline them). I mean, Brynjolf is the Tamriel equivalent of Scottish, he calls you "lass/lad", has got a smoothass voice, supports you through so much of the Thieves Guild questline, has a wicked sense of humour, and then when you finish the questline, it's all "sorry, lass. Got important things to do. We'll speak another time" 😭 You can't even recruit him as a follower. He says nothing when you wear an amulet of Mara. I play on a fucking PS4, I can't do mods to marry him or get more dialogue.

(By the way, on my most recent playthrough, Lydia died when I fought the troll on the seven thousand steps, and I am still mad about it. It used to be difficult for Lydia to die, that was why I brought her everywhere, and now I have to become Batman "I work alone". ESPECIALLY after Benor then died on the way up to Paarthurnax. I still can't believe that happened, I should have told him to stay behind and wait for my return.)

Also, every time I play, Derkeethus is so bugged, I can't even rescue him let alone marry the guy, which was disappointing because he seemed nice.

Argis the Bulwark, Vilkas, Farkas, Rayya, Aela the Huntress, and Marcurio, you are all marriageable and live in my heart always. Marcurio was the first I ever married, I think. Three guesses why I chose him (it's the sarcasm, wisecracks, and general sense of humour) (maybe the long hair too). Has anyone noticed how there doesn't seem to be marriageable options among the Khajiit characters?? Why do you think that is? I just checked the Skyrim marriage wiki and this is what it has to say in the trivia: 'There are no Khajiit spouses, however; since the majority of Khajiit in Skyrim are traders or travelers from Elsweyr, they probably have families back home. Additionally, Khajiit characters talk about home a lot, stating how much they miss it and how cold Skyrim is; thus, they probably do not want to marry and settle down in Skyrim.'

Heart-breaking. Oh well.

And that's the end of the line-up. If you read through this, Divines bless your goddamn soul. Psycho-analyse me based on them, I dare you. Or just judge me. I'd like to see either. And if you can find something in common about them all (you don't need to consider the honourable Skyrim mentions), please let me know, because I am personally at a loss.

[idkjustletmescroll]

Some incoherent ranting/rambling i guess

I really don't understand some people's obsession with fictional characters doing shitty things just conveniently...NOT KNOWING that they're bad?? Idk if that makes ANY sense at all it's 3 in the goddamn morning but let me explain--

I was doom scrolling, as one does, when I came across a tiktok of a marvel fan explaining why actually wanda maximoff had no idea what she was doing with the hex, which, sure, holds true for the BEGINNING of wandavision. But we're shown pretty clearly during the rest of the show that she knows what she's done, how it's affecting the townspeople, and that it's not real...she just needs it to be real. She can't cope with her ACTUAL reality. Her family is gone, and the ones that remain are busy dealing with their own traumas and families (i.e. clint, who I still argue WOULD have tried to find her and help her post-endgame, even if he desperately needed some downtime with his family--but moving on). I'm a wanda maximoff stan, she's my girl, my favourite, my one and only, but she's not a complete idiot. She knew what she was doing. I don't care that she did an objectively bad thing, I care about why she did it and kept on doing it--which is so much more interesting to me, anyways.

Alicent Hightower in HOTD? According to the writers, had no clue that, actually, years of talking about how aegon should be the heir to the throne would result in people ACTUALLY SCHEMING to get him on the throne, even though she seems to be heading the effort the entire time? Listen, the HOTD fandom is something else, and the way they talk about alicent genuinely scares me, but alicent being worried for her kids' safety, reluctantly cutting off all affection for Rhaenyra because she's genuinely terrified for her kids' lives, even just the spite of wanting her years of suffering and humiliation to mean something; alicent being both a ringleader and a pawn in a man's game, because ultimately she's resigned to the fact that the closest she can get to winning in this system (under this wheel, if you will), is finding the best man to propel to victory/be a pawn for because she as a woman will ultimately never be the victor herself--is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than "okay, yeah, she spent years declaring how unfit her ex-bff/stepdaughter is to rule, but she didn't know people would actually take that seriously...she just wants rhaenyra to be OKAY, yall..." (I have a lot of feelings about how the show wrote alicent, okay?)

And arcane is one of my favourite shows of all time, and I've been lucky enough to MOSTLY stay on the good side of the fandom, which, from my end, is usually pretty amazing with an appreciation for nuanced media. But it genuinely makes my blood boil when I see people claim that Vi "could have gone back for jinx on the bridge" (ep. 7), when the moment they're referencing is vi supporting an injured Caitlyn, who almost died by jinx's bombs, RIGHT AFTER JINX SHOT AT THEM BOTH, AND RIGHT AFTER EKKO TOLD VI TO GO. "She left her sister to get beat up--" everything in vi's face in that scene speaks to her reluctance. She's holding up a girl she's growing closer to, who could actually be grievously injured, and she knows, at this point, that jinx is irrational--jinx just shot at her. Like...we knew that vi wasn't going to die, but she could've really easily. Ekko says he'll handle it. There's another bomb. Vi goes back to look for jinx AS SOON as Caitlyn's sitting down somewhere relatively safe (at which point, you know, she sees jinx being picked up by silco and his sidekicks). The point is, people act, with scenes like this one, like jinx was chucking paint bombs, not shooting fucking bullets en masse. I love all the arcane characters; jinx is such an interesting one, and her hallucinations and delusions do tend to make us wonder how much responsibility we can rightfully place on her shoulders. But people are really out here acting like she didn't...almost kill vi and cait there? We, from jinx's perspective, know that she saw Caitlyn as the literal devil; from vi and cait's povs, she just kind of walked up and tried to kill them. Am I making my point yet?

Speaking of arcane, i hope in season 2 we get scenes of characters from piltover who are really rooting for the oppression of the undercity. Not because of what jinx did, not because of the war, not because they "just don't know" how bad it is...because they make a profit off of it, and for that they are perfectly content letting people become dependent on drugs and make their livings from dangerous work in factories and mines. The whole point of "the city of progress" is that it became what it was off the backs of the undercity. We get a lot of characters in season 1 REALIZING the conditions down there, but I want them realizing in season 2 that not everybody was sheltered, they were just making a profit. (I kind of want to see Heimerdinger called out, too. Like, yeah, he's fluffy and cute and stuff, but if he's the founder of piltover, he's also been there since the beginning of the undercity, and didn't care because immortality yada yada. Have I envisioned scenes of ekko calling vi a sellout and she's just like "bitch and who the fuck are you working with?" and everybody's miserable? Yes. Yes I have. And don't come for me, ekko is the mvp of this show. Let a girl dream).

Even people like Tony Stark...people be acting like he's not actually an asshole a lot of the time. Or that he didn't know what weapons did before he stopped distributing them. I like tony, he's entertaining. But I'm not going to act like I need him to be a saint who didn't know shit about the world or basic courtesies to like him.

Idk if fandoms are just weird like that, but you can like your fave even if they do shitty things. They don't always have to be helpless, or just too stupid to realize what's going on. I don't understand why so many people are opposed to being entertained by people who do shitty things. Where's the appreciation for the drama? The messiness? The chaos?

[stingray-stars]

Acne

Just thought I'd make something about how we're human and human bodies are bodies.

This doesn't exclude Super Villains who are wanted for murder and arson and everything else...

Or fictional characters ig idk

Just a thing to remind you that you are human and that this is normal (with my favorites...)

Shigaraki × Touya Fluff :3

[===]

Toyua walks into the built-on bathroom of their room,

It's nice living in this mansion ;) thank you Re-Destro <3

And sees his boyfriend apparently got back from his weird fake body, quirk, person, ability training thing. Whatever that doctor was saying– but he's still here so, there's that.. and he's hotter

He just got back from working with Geten, so he's pretty tired. Not from working really, cause he doesn't really do anything because he can't doesn't like working with people, but from fighting and training.

He sees his oh so beloved boyfriend looking very intently in the mirror, examining his face with his apparent red eyes looking over the acne he got.

The door was already wide open so he doesn't know if Tomura heard him come in yet, so he speaks up "you good?" He says with a playful tone to his voice.

Shigaraki doesn't move an inch, so yes, he heard him come in at one point. And sighs, backing away from the mirror but still looking at himself. "Yeah, just my face.." he says tiredly

Shigaraki finally says, "I'm breaking out, I think it's from the chemical water" he says meeting Toyua's eyes in the mirror. Toyua hums in acknowledgement, then laughs. Not at Shigaraki, just thought of something

Toyua let's pause go by, then, "what about it?" He says walking towards him and looking at himself and Shigaraki in the mirror. "You admiring how pretty you are?" He asks with a smirk and that gets Tomura smiling too. He doesn't give him enough time to answer before he says another thing, "Or how fucking hot you look?" He says jokingly, not meaning it in that way in this context.

Shigaraki laughs and pulls Touya into him more, resting his head on his shoulder while his laugh dies down. He looks up and then leans the side of his head against his, both admiring each other.

Shigaraki then looks at him and a puzzled expression goes over his face, not in a bad way though, he's still smiling. "What?" Shiggy says, also with a laugh, and starts to shake him slightly to get him to say what he was thinking

Toyua stops laughing but he's still trying not to break into laughter as he says "The- the new symbol of fear–" he takes a break to laugh, "is ruining the world while worrying about he's acne?– h-hes– oh my God" he puts his hands over his face and starts laughing more again, sounding a bit exasperated.

Shigaraki laughs and puts his head back on his shoulder, they both sit there for a moment and laugh, when it calms down Tomura straightens up and gives a kiss to Touya's cheek.

"are you going to shower, babe?" Shigaraki asks quietly, a contrast to how it was when they were laughing.

Toyua sighs and responds, "yeah," he sounds tired. "Don't really want to tho... But I feel gross and probably smell like smoke and shit." He's relaxing in Shigaraki's hold even when knowing he has to get out of it.

"yeah, you do." Tomura says plainly, he's not going to lie to him, he reeks smoke. And strangely something like ice? Or maybe it's something else and he just thinks that because he's working with Geten...

He kisses his cheek again and let's go, Touya gives an annoyed whine and looks at him, Shigaraki just looks back and smiles a bit more mockingly.

"fine.." Touya says with the 'i' drawn out a bit and like a kid reactantly agreeing. Tomura smiles in his real smile and Toyua goes off to take a shower, but Tomura does watch him until he actually gets in the shower and Touya laughs at his behavior of watching him.

[===]

Meeooowwwwww

I wanted to make something like this

But uhhhh

I had other ideas too, but this works 👍👍

Might do another kind of thing like this another time

[aihoshiino]

chapter 129 thoughts

Takamine confirmed! She's the B-Komachi member with the dog pin, which confirms that Watanabe is the girl with the frog pin. I honestly think I felt a bigger sense of closure over that than anything else in this chapter......................

Takamine's open hostility as portrayed in the movie is also interesting, though it does make me raise an eyebrow. It contrasts Kyun's description of B-Komachi from Viewpoint B where she explicitly says there was no bullying - even in 45510, the narrator only ever mentions one of the girls starting shit with Ai and never any internal nastiness. If the 45510 narrator is Takamine, this makes sense given that she's quick to insist she's just giving Nino some tough love and that hostility framed as reverence matches the 45510 narrator's entanglement of desire and spite directed towards Ai.

Still, it does feel like a nod that we should be taking the framing of the movie with a grain of salt - this is a fictionalized, dramatized version of events filtered through at least two very pissed off people, after all. Aqua, if nothing else, has good reason to make the people who were cruel to his mother look particularly bad and the screenplay has been described as a particularly malicious one.

Akane interacting with characters who aren't Aqua!!! Blessed be!!! Honestly, the Akane & Kana interactions this chapter got a good chuckle out of me, moreso than I was expecting. Akane's "i'm not having fun bullying her :)" [internally: i'm having the time of my life] made me do a solid out loud Sensible Chuckle. That said, I really do hope the movie arc takes this chance to progress their dynamic past this sniping, because as funny as it is... man, they've been doing this shit since before Tokyo Blade and I've said before that it feels so weird to me that the end of that arc ends on what should feel like a big change in the status quo of their relationship but it's largely just been the same hostility over and over and over again.

On that note, it feels odd we didn't get a reaction of any kind from him to Ruby's portrayal of Ai given how uncanny the similarity is, down to Mengo basically just drawing her as Ai with one hoshigan this entire chapter lol.

Speaking of Ai... I think the best way to nail down how this chapter made me feel was uneasy.

I'm hoping this is me focusing too much on something that's ultimately not important, but the idea that Ai's 'hidden feelings' were those of anger really doesn't sit right with me - especially with the implication that this anger was fundamental enough to Ai's person that Ruby needed to tap into it to properly portray her.

I'm not at all against OnK diving into the idea that Ai had darker, messier feelings than the ones we've been privy to. In fact, I think it would be a good way of resolving a trap it threatens to fall into sometimes, where Ai is a bit of a 'perfect' victim as far as storytelling is concerned and letting her having some blemishes would be interesting.

My issue here is more that this characterization of Ai hiding anger specifically is what feels weird to me - it doesn't feel like it coheres with the Ai we get such a clear view of in volume 1 and Viewpoint B. The impression I get much, much more strongly there is of deep sadness and loneliness, desperation and fear. If there is anger, it's pointed inwards at herself in frustration and self-blame, so the idea that Ruby needs to Be Angry to properly get across Ai's feelings on camera makes me more than a little worried for where the movie arc is going to go in terms of characterizing Ai lol.

Basically, I don't necessarily mind the story deciding to recontexualize Ai and add this new layer of hidden bitterness so long as it's actually consistent and additive characterization and not just replacing and retconning what we've been given before.

Again, though, this is in-universe fiction that has been dramatized and warped to suit a very pissed off person's malicious purposes, so I think there's some wiggle room in terms of how accurate it can be assumed to be in its portrayal of Ai herself.

I also have mixed feelings about the way Gotanda's directing is being portrayed, but that's something I'll be able to dig into and talk about more the more we see of it.

[writing-whump]

Hello Sol, I really enjoy your work and adore the characters! Just read your idea about what's coming and got excited, can't wait for more🤩

But there's one thing I want to say if you'd like to consider, please don't strict yourself with time lines and orders, you don't even need to. As they are your characters and outcomes of your inspiration, plans and orders can change on the road because there no boundaries in fictional universes (yay!)

Writing process based is on inspiration and writer's own willings, I think. So anything can happen whenever you want lol. The best and the most scary part of writing, isn't it?😄 As a person who interests in writing fictions (just for myself for now) I came up with so many ideas and literally want to write all of them and if I limit myself with a specific order, well, I generally ending messed up things and miss the inspiration sometimes. Characters are able to make you write them when it's time, I really believe that💫 So please write whatever you want without limiting yourself with an order list, it's good to be flexible when it comes to writing. Some fictions wait for their times in writer's mind and when it comes you know it's the time without hesitation anyways. Your universe your decides&instincts🤞🏻🤭

Hi, nonny!

That's a beautiful extensive message you left here for me, thank you! And a fellow writer too, hehe, I love hearing your experiences. ✨️

"Characters are able to make you write them when it's time" - that's very interesting, I have never heard of this one. Especially when you have a cast of characters, it's bit of a decision when is a new character "ready" to join them. Is it developed enough? Can it stand it's ground around the others? Is the inspiration strong enough to develop them further and use them or will is it a momentary enchantment that will fizzle out with a bit of time? Some OCs I have tried out for the Werewolf wip ended up like this - and maybe it's not bad in itself, maybe trying them out is the best way to tell (lol).

It's just so funny, cause I used to study writing theory for years. All these outlining techniques and character questions, all the meta and abstract stuff, I enjoued it very much - you got a bunch of that here on tumblr as well after all too - but it never helped me write as much as to simply sit down and try to put the daydreams into words? Because the writing itself sort of informs what it will turn out to be like and if it's enough.

I used to think the writing level determined if I destroyed the story or not, cause it always looked better in my head (ofc) but now I feel like there is a lot of worth and flavour in archiving the thoughts and daydreams in whatever way I can manage. Because the story itself develops in the process (I have had scenes that had no context and only grew as I wrote), because the ideas fizzle out, but if they are written, you can return to them and get invested all over.

As with outlines, I am currently just a sceptical about them as about all the writing advice and development and knowing your themes and ending (doesn't work for me for actual writing at all). But having a flexible list of what comes next, storing the many many ideas that come to me does help. But you are likely right that limiting the order and the amount and number simply doesn't work. It's sniffling and cuts off all the potential little sprouts from actual chapters.

I was worried the chapters wouldn't be connected enough without some amount of planning (planting hints and foreshadowing and connections), but I'm also kind of getting the feedback from you guys that the hints are indeed there?

But totally true what you say - the absolute freedom is the best and the scariest part. 😂

Thank you for the encouragement and your thoughts.✨️ I'm very honoured you enjoy the story and the characters!🥰💙✨️

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Other Side of Disappearing by Kate Clayborn

4.25/5. Releases 3/26/24.

Vibes: true crime podcasts (critical), soft hero/hard heroine, complicated families, and dropping those defenses even when it's hard

Heat Index: 6/10

Ten years ago, Jess and Tegan's mother disappeared--with her con artist boyfriend Lynton Baltimore, made famous by a popular podcast. Now, the podcast's creator is on their doorstep with her protegee, Adam. They want to find Lynton; and Jess and Tegan could be their key. The last thing Jess wants to do after raising her sister on her own is go down this rabbit hole. But if Tegan is going, so is she; and as they unravel their mother's secrets, Jess finds herself more exposed than she's ever been before... and, even more horrifyingly, opening up to Adam (and his massive shoulders, perfect for crying into).

I was a little worried by the premise of this book. Don't get me wrong, it's a great idea--but was it going to be women's fiction? The answer: nope! This is a great example of how to write a book that has a big plot, and has well-developed characters beyond the two leads... while still being a romance. That's something that used to be way more of a norm, but I've noticed lately that it seems to have become all or nothing. You're either all focus on the leads, no plot and paper-thin supporting characters, or the romance gets crumpled up and it's women's fiction. (Which is fine! Women's fiction is fine! It's just generally not my thing.)

Trust Kate Clayborn to give you all the feelings about EVERYONE involved, along with a thought-provoking and twisty-turny concept, while never sacrificing the strength of the love story. I was so invested in Adam, a truly good dude who isn't without his own sore spots, slowly worming his way into Jess's heart. And Jess is simply a great heroine--wounded and tough and a bit angry but also desperately holding it together for the sister she's raised. I loved watching them fall in love. In fact, this is probably my favorite Kate Clayborn book so far.

Quick Takes:

--I am very vocal about finding a lot of good guy heroes boring, and that is because "good" often seems to translate into "perfect" or "completely toothless". Adam is a great example of how to write a good guy hero correctly. Kate Clayborn generally knows how to write about good people who aren't perfect and are compelling.

Here, Adam is essentially a gentle giant with great intentions in the long term... Who still compromises his morals initially. (Not for long! and I would say that she could've pushed him to compromise those morals for a bit longer, but I get it.) And he doesn't always handle everything perfectly, and he's not always smooth, and he's interesting and hot and kind of the boyfriend I feel is ideal without being PERFECT.

Also: his ears go pink when he's embarrassed, and he is definitely a bit embarrassed about his Bigness. Like, he's always bumping into shit because he's so Big, and that's embarrassing, you guys!!! This is. So important to me.

--I'm so into the Eldest Daughter Syndrome Stuff, as an eldest daughter. Jess and Tegan's relationship is so great, sitting in that space between parent and sibling, and at a really awkward point (as Tegan just turned eighteen). I found Jess deeply relatable, and her prickliness makes perfect sense... while still getting in her way.

Honestly, Jess's character growth is the type of thing I don't think heroines are allowed to do enough? It's introspective and difficult, and I absolutely loved where we ended up.

--There's a supporting character, original podcast creator/Adam's mentor Salem, who went in some really different directions. I kind of loved having a character who was like... not malevolent, but not wholly good, too? Who was selfish, and not an ideal parent, and a LADY?

In general, the commentary on true crime fandom stuff and podcasting is so good. I think we've definitely reached this point where true crime podcasts have really dipped heavily into exploitation. Of course there are good ones! But let us be real. I loved the way that she confronted this being both a story and Jess and Tegan's lives. And, in addition, how knowing that early on conflicts with Adam's sense of morality.

--As a random note... I've noticed recently that a lot of romance novels, even those by people I so love, have parents do some really shitty stuff, and then shove in this reconciliation with their kids at the end. I think this has to do with the need for an HEA. But like. You can have an HEA that involves acknowledging that your parent is shitty and doesn't deserve forgiveness. Trust.

All I'll say is that I really loved how Clayborn handled the parent stuff in this book.

The Sex:

Kate Clayborn always leans more towards the romantic than the explicit in her sex scenes, though they are open door. There are a few scenes in this book, and they're reeeeally sensual. I loved the way she wrote the dialogue during sex scenes, and like, the sexiness of Jess and Adam sneaking around on this road trip with her teenage sister right there. Ooh, it was hot.

Insightful, romantic, and challenging in some ways, The Other Side of Disappearing really impressed me. I already liked Kate Clayborn, and this only made me more excited about her future work.

Thanks to NetGalley and Kensington for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[aoyama-division]

Aoyama is back again. Aside from the birthday of Nike all those months ago…seems like High Class is next on our little agenda…

This should be quite amusing…

It all started when Tomi Choten got home from his honeymoon. Everything appeared…normal for once. Congratulated by his teammates and even his own wife…what was there not to like anyway…?

The moment he stepped in the living room, the lights easily went out. Disgruntled at who was in on it, Tomi noticed the surrounding of an unknown area on his TV, with a figure sitting in the foreground…Tomi knew that this has happened to other DRB contestants. The only difference…? Eko wasn’t silhouetted, the socialite seeing his Cheshire Cat smile across the monitor.

“Hello Choten, you probably were expecting this hm…?” Eko asked. Tomi had a slight glare, wondering why exactly he was there in the first place.

“I thought so…’What do I want?’ Easy enough…here’s some friendly advice - stay out of my team’s way and we don’t have to get our hands dirty~.” Eko proposed, knowing well with this message, he could tell Choten wasn’t taking the offer.

“Then again…getting your hands dirty wouldn’t work for such a rich “Pawa-Hara” like yourself…a shame~…” Eko sighed, his acting really paying off.

“But anyway…I’ll see you eventually, let’s see if your little ‘money code’ can surpass true ambition~!” Tomi’s TV shut off immediately as the lights turned on. Not only that, a small box was right next to him…

Inside…was a bottle of red wine…with a too sweet taste.

As the lights went off, Tomi growled, already feeling his stress level rising and a headache forming. Not even home an hour and already the idiocy was starting. Ever since he entered this D.R.B., he had been the victim of so many schemes, it wasn't even funny. Was it too much to ask for just one birthday where he didn't have to deal with peons' idiotic pranks, rude gestures or sorry excuses for asinine gifts?! Apparently so.

Looking at this television came on and a strange, yet familiar individual appeared, smiling like some silly animal from a fictional fairytale. He had probably seen him on some magazine before. But apparently, he wasn't important enough for Tomi to remember, so he didn't bother trying.

Frowning, the socialite listened patiently to the strange man as he subtly threatened him and his team. If he wasn't for the lack of decorum (and because he'd have to hear his parents' mouth), he was tempted to throw something at the T.V. just to shut him up. But as stated, such a thing would be completely out of character for him.

As the individual's threat ended, Tomi looked as the lights came back on, and the individual disappeared from his T.V.

"Master Tomi!" Hino shouted, rushing into the living room. "Are you alright, sir?"

"I'm fine, Hino," Tomi answered, shaking his head.

"I must say, that was quite strange," Hino said, looking up at the lights, a bit worried. "The servants check these lights every week. They shouldn't have all gone out like that. I'll see to it that they are reprimanded for this, sir."

"Don't." Tomi ordered, surprising the butler. "It wasn't the fault of the servants. It was just another peon upset that I have what he and his followers could only dream about."

"...I see."

Bowing to his master as he passed by, Hino raised his head and noticed the bottle of wine off to the side in a box.

"And what shall be done with this, Master Tomi?"

Turning back to look at the bottle which had been left behind, a bored look on his face, Tomi waved it off.

"Keep it, or dispose of it, Hino. I've no need for rudimentary gifts."

"Very well, sir." Hino answered, bowing once more. Watching his master leave the room, Hino took a look at the bottle and realized it was a very good vintage. Smiling, he decided to take it for himself, knowing better than to let a good gift go to waste.

"Thank you dearly, young Master."

[likeabxrdinflight]

Hello! I recently came across your blog because of your ATLA posts and I love it! Tho I have a conflict and I'm very...confused.

So, I saw a video arguing that Azula is not a victim of the Fire Nation, and stating that thinking so is insulting the great job the writers did with her. Mainly citing that even before the war, she had a perverse nature and never took responsibility for her acts. (And even closed that all she got was the frustration of not accomplishing her ambition, closing that in layman's terms she had it coming)

I even saw a take state that Azula's past doesn't exempt her from having a (and I quote) shitty personality, and thus that she shouldn't get away scot-free from what she did to Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee without any sort of punishment, even comparing her to characters like Vegeta who did get his just desserts before changing. (Who ironically is a lot like Azula, they even her stated her past is not nearly as traumatic or as painful as other characters like him)

What I found uncomfortable about this is how Azula's age doesn't matter at all nor her treatment from Ozai, which is merely treated as spoiling her too much (and I think demonizing her kinda undermines the tragedy of her Agni Kai with Zuko). I fully agree Azula deserved karma for her actions, but I don't like the idea that she is fully to blame for how she is...nor the implication that she hasn't suffered enough to deserve a redemption (or in the former guy's words, she hasn't been humilliated enough to hit rock-bottom and feel true remorse for her actions)

I'm genuinely confused over whether I romanticise the character too much or not for feeling sympathy for her...

First of all, don't let stupid internet discourse dictate to you how you should or should not feel about a fictional character. ATLA isn't real. Azula isn't real. There are no real consequences to whether you do or do not feel sympathy for a drawing of a storybook character. We all get caught up in discourse, I do it too, but at the end of the day, none of this is real, and if it's causing you distress or confusion about your own sense of morality in some way, then it's time to step back from that discourse.

But, obviously I disagree with the takes you're citing here, with the caveat that I haven't seen these specific sources myself. Frankly I don't believe in the concept of a "perverse nature" or inherently "shitty personality." Human psychology is far too complex for such a reductionistic, simplistic view of things, and I am too close to a PhD for that. In fact, personality by itself is so complex that there's an entire subsection of psychology devoted to the study of it. I have also never agreed with the concept that anyone can "deserve" redemption, and I've talked about that at length- link to a post about that here.

And of course I think it's ridiculous to act as though a character like Azula is some kind of evil monster with no path to change or growth when she's like, fourteen. I definitely think it's pretty asinine to not consider her age and the influences surrounding her when looking at the things she does and the reasons why. But look, if some guy in a youtube video wants to rant about how terrible and irredeemable of a person a cartoon teenager is, well...that's just none of my business, frankly. I don't have anything to prove to that guy. I can sit in my little corner and enjoy my little cartoon blorbo and feel secure in that. And while I think it's important to listen to other perspectives and consider others' opinions (when they're presented in good faith), it's also important to know when to shake your head and move on. Sometimes fandom discourse is the place to do that. Say to yourself "wow what a terrible take" and don't worry about it. It's not worth engaging with fandom nonsense that's upsetting you, and it's definitely not worth engaging with any content that has you questioning your morals because you think a cartoon character is sympathetic.

[hongism]

HI BABY LISTEN. L I S T E N.

I spent the last few days, or week idek, reading mist of Celeste. WHEN I TELL YOU, YELL AT YOU, SCREAM TO YOU, that is one of the best fic ever. You tick all the cases for this one, I’m giggling I’m so fucking into this story you have no idea. Also I’m not just saying fanfic, but fic. I’m including all the books I’ve read and there’s a lot, let me tell you (also if you have any rec I’m all ears, really, if some inspired you for mist of celest specifically even if it’s not the same setting ie space piracy)

ANYWAYS first of all, space pirates. Bam, you have my heart. The world building is perfect, original enough for it to be interesting but not specific enough for it to be confusing (or taking too much time to understand). The characters ? Darling will you marry me ? I absolutely hate when author just fill their casting up with so so much trauma that it doesn’t make sense. You did it beautifully. Each character’s trauma makes sense, the way it evolves, the way it gets intwined with other characters, mixing everything up, it’s fucking alive. As it should be. There is development and adaptation, causes and effects, consequences to actions and thoughts behind every single one of them (even the lack of thoughts is justifiable and coherent). We feel for every one of them, and we also get mad at them sometimes for the way they act or the things they say. Feeling that way for fictional characters is an impressive achievement on the author’s part imo, because you succeeded in making it real enough for them to affect us.

Now the plot. I’m so mad, it’s so good. It’s so well made with the world building ? Like you cannot take this plot and just use it in another AU. It won’t work. That’s something I really like and makes it so much more enjoyable to read, like you’re really in this universe and not another one. In this story. The pacing helps a lot. You did a marvellous job with that one. It’s not too quick and not too slow, the interim chapters are a delight too when you want the extra information. Just like a treat that you can easily skip if you’re too hungry for the meal. The way you give out informations on the characters is… i don’t have any words for that. The foreshadowing is absolutely perfect. At the beginning ? For the siren thing ? I was giggling like mad and gasping when I realised things along the way (and before our lovely mc expressed those herself).

All in all, I’m absolutely in love with this story and also I have to agree with your bio (if you’re number one, I’m number two). But yeah, thanks a lot for the free amazing story, I’ll be keeping an eye out for the updates and pls pls pls pls pls pls if you write a book share the title and all here so I can run to the nearest bookstore and buy it. I love your writing style and what comes out of your imagination.

Alright, good night or good day depending on when you’ll see this <3

oh my GOSHHHH THANK YOU??? wow holy cannoli this made me smile so much my cheeks hurt a bit now ngl thank you 😭 first off for book recs i don't have many but a few of my faves that have really influenced my writing are pretty popular so i'm sure many already know them but ender's game, six of crows, mistborn, shadow and bone, the broken earth series, lovecraft's works, lord of the flies, the iliad and the odyssey!

all your compliments to the aspects of the story that i spent the most time on constructing and fine tuning seriously thank you ;;-; ah it's always always so so nice to hear my hard work paid off especially the aspects of the trauma and dealing with that trauma, that's what makes it so hard to sit down and right bc i have to get in that mindset to handle that so carefully that it's very hard to do sometimes ;-; evoking emotion from readers is always one of my goals with my writing and i love being able to do that!!

i always worry about the plot being predictable or the pacing being either too quick or too slow or just a bore to get through in general, and i love using the interims as a playground to offer info for those who want it, and as im sure is obvious I LOVE FORESHADOWING!!! my favorite reactions are the WAIT HUH WHAT reactions those are such a delight ldkfjaweljwlkef

hehe thank you thank you i have such a love and appreciation for writers especially here on this platform where is can be such thankless work and bee @atzfilm works so hard on their stuff and puts so much time and effort into it its seriously inspiring and amazing and i love getting to be her friend and getting to experience her writing and i love love love seeing her get appreciated for that work too :3 maybe one day i'll write a full on book i can't imagine a world that i'm not doing some sort of writing in so i'm sure that eventually one day it will come to fruition!!!

i hope you have a good night or good day depending on when i'm answering this <3

[malleux]

Hello hello I'd like to request a genshin match-up! Male character please :)

I'm currently a nursing student so I don't have a lot of free time but when I do, I enjoy drawing and reading. I've always loved getting lost in fictional and fantasy worlds and it's a huge coping mechanism for me, which leads to a lot of daydreaming. I think the easiest way to describe my personality is a comparison to a black cat. Introverted, mostly keep to myself and it takes me a long time to truly feel comfortable with someone. But once it happens it's a lot easier to express my feelings. I've been told I'm a great listener and I'm always happy to lend an ear, no matter if it's for venting or excited ramblings. I avoid big crowds and gatherings and try to blend in, but i usually stand out a lot due to my height. I thrive on physical touch, always happy when someone asks for a hug or simply rests their head on my shoulder.

I hope that's enough info? 🙏 I enjoy your writing so I'm looking forward to this match-up :) Thanks in advance!

sorry for the wait!

i match you with… baizhu!

cute nurse couple

You met Baizhu after applying to work as at the Bubu Pharmacy. You figured it would be a good job to work through the rest of your schooling. He did your interview and was incredibly intimidating at first, but it was really just because he was nervous about adding another person into the mix with his own problems and Qiqi.

You proved yourself worthy enough, though— it didn’t help that you were cute— and soon enough seeing Baizhu became an every day occurrence.

Working at the Pharmacy was super calm and peaceful, with both of you doing your own tasks in a comfortable silence. Small conversations happened here and there, and slowly but surely you got close to every occupant at the pharmacy— Qiqi, Changsheng, and Baizhu.

I don’t think Baizhu ever properly asked you out. One night after closing he invited you to dinner, and from there it was history. It was obviously very slow-developing, but reciprocal.

On your breaks, you can be found out back reading books that a local blue-haired Liyue boy supplies you with. On slow days, Baizhu comes and sits with you. Changsheng and Qiqi can hold down the fort for the time being.

Having a second brain helps Baizhu so much with his research. He always thought of himself as somewhat of a lone wolf— misunderstood, antisocial, and better off alone. Then you came along and he can’t even be 5 feet away from you.

Your arrival was a breath of fresh air from his every day worries and duties, and you continue to be the sunshine in his days even after you became routine as well.

[swaqcenix]

thank you very much! haha, wow, now I'm cool and your favorite anon….. these hashtags made me snigger maliciously. 🙂

thank you so much for your support and everything you wrote. it's really important to me and helps me feel a little more confident.":) and you can congratulate me, I really got the first place.

And OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST, and WHAT ARE U TOLLKING ABOUT, of course I'm going to LOVE your future work. pfft, I see Peggy in the fanfiction - I automatically "❤️" it and get ready to wish happiness to the author and his whole family. lol.

I love discussing plots and the behavior of characters, although I don't seem to really like spoilers........👁👁 however, judging by your words, the main cherry on the cake in this fanfiction has not yet been revealed. and that's good. ;)

Hmm, "the visit"? Is this the movie that Kathryn Hahn played in? If so, I watched it. Really strange movie, which is more psychologically depressing than frightening, to be honest … and thank you!! you're so caring, it makes me mentally squeak.☠️

I don't know why I react this way to any good contacts with people.😐

annddd wow.. wow. you're right. I was somewhat struck by your words about all this. just this fact that someone remembers the phrases of their favorite characters and make some conclusions from it. Also, your words about the concept and much more. And oh my God, you're making me blush, stop it, fkljgkfdga 👽 also, I'm glad to be a good listener for you. 🦋

to be honest, sometimes I think that the profession of my dreams would be just to sit silently and listen to people talking about some fragments of their lives and some clever thoughts.

...

although, probably, this place is occupied by God.👍

or psychologists. in some way. or priests.

Oh, you little naughty girl! for unauthorized interference with the work of my brain and its suspension, you are obliged to compensate for the damage by writing and publishing fan fiction, which I'm looking forward to.

OH MY GOD, THE DETAILS.

wow, so much sense! I love it!(!!!) seems like when i wiil review this terribly boring movie, sorry. I watched it just for Peggy movie, I will always remember you and this fan fiction, lol honestly, I don't even know what to think looking at these photos. but it looks like it's connected to the past. perhaps the reader is someone who has been with Peggy in the past and seeing alive reader from other universe now, with Wanda, Peggy will… like…

*shows a brain explosion with hands*

you know?

well, i dont🤡

hmmm.

BAAHAHAHAHA now you're my main reason why I obsessively check tumblr all the time. thank you

by the way, do you want to exchange with me three songs that you like at this point in time? here are my:

the dismemberment song, blue kid

runs in the family, amanda palmer

крепость, дайте танк(!)

if you want, I could translate the last song for you. I know russian well enough :)

you are my favourite anon and the sweetest fr! no jokes intended little anon :) you sniggering bless you! 💌

no worries the support is meant and i'm so glad you're getting some confidence it's all you can do is just try and be yourself. I'm SO PROUD OF YOU, you really deserved that congratulations darling! <3

see you say that now i'm just shaking that it goes to plan, but hopefully it should! bahahaha, i feel you there when it comes to seeing that just instant like fr 💗

oh heaven forbid no, i wouldn't spoil it for you dear you'd need to the excitement and the surprise built up enough! the cherry on the cake is yet to be revealed you'll love it though :)) i hope

yes that one!! don't ask why i enjoy it so much, maybe it purely is for the little kathryn content we get hun, but idk i have some strange taste in films i just enjoy anything that's horror or suspense for the adrenaline. oh sweet that's adorable your little squeaks? 🥹

heyy your reactions are valid okay? remember that it's a safe space here for a reason! <3 🍓

as you can tell i do have an enjoyment going into depth with my work and my thoughts. i thrive on indulging etc, i really do enjoy it! <3 aww you're blushing, so cute! no i love it you're genuinely so sweet love! 💌

that's a really interesting concept tbh, you're more of a listener i love that. the listeners of this world are like wind through the breeze and the whisper of a river, calm and there collected with their thoughts :))

perhaps it is, i always do enjoy indulging in thoughts i can often get carried away with!

oh yes, i do tend to be a naughty little girl a lot 😌 but okay i suppose i'll compensate through this fanfic, besides it's for the best anon right! 🫶

ahhh yes see, i didn't mind the movie tbh i definitely had seen it's pro's and con's. i'm so glad you liked my little analysis of characters sweetie! HMMM perhaps it is perhaps it isn't i shall reveal nothing. 🤭 my secrets for the fanfic is yet to be revealed but that made me smile that you'll think of this fic fr! <3

AHAHHA brain explosion you do make me laugh, i love reading you little messages! sweet sweet anon, you're so kind! i'm the main reason? i better up my game if that's the case then 🥹

i'll give those a listen as soon as i post this tell love!! <3 fun fact i do speak quite a bit of russian so i should be okay 😌

My three songs i'll share with you are:

• Pray - Zana

• La De La Mala Suerte- Jesse and Joy (i can help if you don't quite understand the lyrics or it's meaning!!💌)

• Feels Like Coming Home- Jetta <33

stay safe sweetie! :))

[je-suis-problematique]

Here's more Sengo for everybody who didn't ask

A bunch of Sengo Lore below the cut because the post is Very Long.

1. What's the lie your character says most often?

Oh definitely "I'm fine" and different variations of it. You know, things like "I'm not hungry", "it doesn't hurt", "I can rest later", "don't worry about me", ANYTHING just to avoid being vulnerable around other people. Even Kar'niss gets this treatment sometimes (especially if we're talking Absolutist!Kar'niss) and since he isn't exactly the best at reading people the nuances can fly right over his head until Sengo inevitably collapses or something and then Kar'niss has no choice but to notice something is wrong.

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word 'friend'?

Sengo has no friends besides Kar'niss. Like 0. None. In his head everybody is a potential threat unless it's a corpse he's commanding and even THEN he's still wary. It takes A LOT of trust for Sengo to refer to someone as his friend. Mikhail and Halsin are good candidates for the friend title. Karlach too. Hells even Gale. But everyone else is on Sengo's "might kill me in my sleep" list. ESPECIALLY Astarion.

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

Genuine emotions are reserved strictly for Kar'niss, Mikhail, Halsin, and Gale on a good day but that's about it really. Sengo is a very guarded person who's hiding behind like 17 walls and 20 layers of trauma to boot. The only emotion he shows rather freely is anger. EVERYBODY knows when he's irritated but anything else gets filtered to death until it's just a barely audible grunt (think Geralt from the Witcher) or the tiniest twitch of a muscle and that's the most that gets expressed most times. With Kar'niss, Mikhail, Halsin, and MAYBE Gale, Sengo is more open and expressive. He can laugh, be goofy and joke around, cry, voice his thoughts, you get the picture. Emotions are a weakness in Sengo's eyes. Something people can use against him. So he avoids showing any if he can help it.

4. What's a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Knitting. Not much time to knit when you're busy fighting for your survival on the regular and then your giant spider boyfriend also gets indoctrinated into a cult so now you have to deal with his brainwashing too. Sengo would kill for the chance to just sit and knit in peace while having a hot drink and maybe also feeling safe for once in his life.

5. Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

He cannot cry on command but sometimes if he's pent up enough he cries at the tiniest inconvenience. He could just accidentally bump into some tree and start sobbing uncontrollably. He hates it when it happens.

6. What's their favorite [insert anything] that they've never recommended to anyone before?

I'm gonna go with favorite book. The book follows the accounts of a family experiencing the horrors of war but the whole story is told from the perspective of the family dog. It's a silly but captivating little book that Sengo held onto since he was a kid and always felt too ashamed to recommend it to anyone because it's so Out There compared to other pieces of literature he's read throughout the years. It's not an important history book or a rare spell book, it's a somewhat whimsical work of fiction that Sengo just really really liked. I'm gonna say that he told Gale about it once, expecting to be mocked, but Gale just invited Sengo to ramble and infodump to his heart's content (Gods bless Gale).

7. What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

Uhhhh I'd probably yell "say ayy if corpses are better than living people". His best friend is Gale in this scenario and he'd yell "some dogs go to the Hells" (because all dogs go to Heaven of course and Sengo will decimate him for saying they don't). Kar'niss is the romantic partner and he wouldn't even have to yell at all because the crowd would simply part before him, nobody wants to mess with the drider.

8. How loose is their use of the phrase 'I love you'?

Extremely strict when sober (reserved only for Kar'niss), extremely loose when drunk. Sengo has a hard time uttering those three words even with Kar'niss sometimes and he might resort to saying something like "you're okay" or "don't ever change" instead. The story is COMPLETELY different when he's drunk however. He'll declare his undying love to anyone willing to listen if left unsupervised, he's a super affectionate drunk.

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

Sengo gives an unbalanced mixture of tough and gentle love that depends entirely on his mood at the moment and he prefers to receive gentle love but will have a hard time admitting it openly. Sengo's usually a friendly-punch-to-the-shoulder, insults-as-words-of-endearment, sparring-instead-of-hugs type of person and most of his gentleness is reserved for Kar'niss. He CAN be gentle with other people too he just feels like it emasculates him (blame drow sexism) so he tries to put on a tough act instead. Also sometimes he's just crass because he's socially awkward or because he feels threatened in some way. When it comes to RECEIVING affection though it can only be gentle because he's surprisingly sensitive and can't do tough love without taking it personally and feeling hated instead (it's the Trauma™). That's why he likes people like Mikhail and Halsin, those two are exceptionally warm and gentle and they make Sengo feel safe.

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

It's a tie between dog facts and corpse facts, any random fact you can think of. Sengo is excited about corpses for pathology student reasons and he is excited about dogs for my-mom-never-let-me-own-a-pet reasons. Having Scratch on camp grounds is the closest Sengo ever got to having his own dog so you bet he is going to be churning out fun dog facts at anyone who is willing to listen.

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends/family ask or do to tell the difference?

Any questions regarding his family or his opinion on Lolth really. If Sengo suddenly says that he loves/respects/misses his mother or that he in any way shape or form resonates with Lolth's doctrine then that's not Sengo. They could also ask the impostor about Kar'niss and if "Sengo" gets sappy then, again, that's not Sengo because Sengo would not openly show any tenderness around others (who aren't Kar'niss).

12. What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

Gale's elaborate impersonations of the other camp members, ESPECIALLY his impersonation of Astarion, and ESPECIALLY when Astarion impersonates Gale back to retaliate. There, that's the hyper-specific thing that will have Sengo crylaughing on the ground in seconds. Before meeting the others though that would have to be an inside joke he shared with Kar'niss from when they were teens – it all essentially started after a particularly boring lecture about spider reproduction where the lecturer repeated the word "egg" one too many times for it to sound professional and since then saying "egg" randomly or pointing at something vaguely egg-shaped and exclaiming "egg" became a running gag for the two menaces.

13. When do they fake a smile? How often?

Sengo has a resting bitch face so he rarely if ever smiles at all but he will fake a smile when saying something particularly cynical or if the smile itself IS the cynical bit. For him, a smile is like when an animal bares its teeth – it's either a threat or a promise of violence if the other person doesn't learn their place and FAST. Otherwise Sengo's face is stuck in a perpetual frown/scowl.

14. How do they put out a candle?

By blowing it out.

15. What's the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they're alone?

So Sengo doesn't REALLY have a home, he's a vagabond since he stays on the road with Kar'niss most of the time. Sometimes they do manage to make a little hideout for themselves though and that's where Sengo is a bit more relaxed. He feels mostly safe and he allows himself to properly rest, not wear his armor (though his weapon is always within reach), lower some of the emotional and mental walls he's put up over the years, openly show affection, be somewhat vulnerable, you get the picture. His work could be a contract job he's fulfilling or simply keeping Kar'niss safe and he is stern, alert (bordering on hypervigilant), stab-first-ask-questions-later, no nonsense, efficient, teeth bared and hackles raised – Sengo does NOT play around when he is working. School is irrelevant, so, friends. He only really got to make friends after he met the tadpole gang so around them he is wary, mistrustful, cautious, fight-or-flight engaged, high-strung, and snappy at first. Later down the line when he gets used to their presence and internalizes that they aren't a threat he loosens up and even finds it in him to joke around and share some stuff about himself but the people he feels most comfortable talking to are (as I've already said before) Mikhail, Halsin, and Gale. Since Mikhail and Halsin are kind of busy most of the time Sengo gets to spend a lot of time with Gale and the two actually became quick friends.

When he's alone though Sengo is completely unfiltered, no walls no defenses no nothing. No attempts to appear bigger or tougher or more masculine or more dominant. No attempts to conceal his chest (he still has breasts), no frown/scowl, no tension in his body, no constant looking over his shoulder or straining his ears to detect possible threats. He hums/whistles/sings to himself, he giggles and laughs, he allows himself to express emotion, even more than he does with Kar'niss (the cult of the Absolute really put a dent in Sengo's relationship with Kar'niss). He's just himself. He's unafraid. Unashamed. And on his worse days he allows himself to cry and scream and curl up into a ball and clutch a plushie for comfort and break apart. Sengo really cherishes whatever alone time he has because he can truly let go for a change.

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

Anyone he finds irritating for any reason, really. His/Kar'niss' bullies from when they were younger, his own mother, Lolth herself, Astarion, 99% of the Absolutists he met or heard of. Could even be just some vendor who looked at him wrong on the wrong kind of day.

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Depends. Fully armored? Sengo's gonna be looking at his facial expression and hair. Fully dressed, binder included, but no armor? He's gonna be looking at his biceps and noting his overall mass. No binder? Immediately zones in on his breasts.

The first thing others usually notice when looking at Sengo are his bright red eyes, if not his height (he's short as fuck for a male-presenting drow).

18. Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

Kar'niss. Again, the cult of the Absolute put a serious dent in their relationship but even with all the drama and pain involved Sengo would kill and die for Kar'niss without thinking twice about it. He left his home behind for Kar'niss when the latter was turned into a drider and driven out of their community, he stuck by Kar'niss when the latter became lowkey abusive due to the Absolutist brainwashing, he'll do anything for that man.

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they've been avoiding?

Get VERY tense and probably claw at the door like a trapped animal or something. He would NOT initiate conversation. In fact, he'd try to pretend like the other person doesn't exist and refuse to engage if the other person is the one to initiate contact. He'd maybe try to very rudely tell them to shut the fuck up if their attempts persist. The whole thing MIGHT result in a murder. Sengo is not exactly the best at communication.

20. Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don't like the person?

The first question is an easy one to answer – Gale. He likes Gale but hates everything he stands for as a wizard. His whole approach about Mystra, the Weave, the Crown of Karsus, everything. He can respect a man for being ambitious but Gale takes it several steps too far in Sengo's opinion. The second question is more tricky to answer because Sengo is ambivalent about the person he'd like to name, but, essentially, Ketheric. Ketheric being the avatar of Myrkul and bringing an entire region to ruin while raising an entire legion of faithful followers has both inspired and disgusted Sengo simultaneously. If Ketheric's bullshit wouldn't have affected Sengo so directly by taking Kar'niss away from him and twisting his already broken mind into whatever shape Ketheric found most useful Sengo would maybe probably also find it in him to sympathize with Ketheric's motives – but Kar'niss was tainted because of him so now Sengo hates his guts and wants his head as a mantlepiece.

21. What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

Saying no to foul language probably. Sengo absolutely does not follow it and he will cuss and swear whenever he pleases, even when addressing figures of authority.

22. What simple activity that most people do/can do scares your character?

Eating around other people, showering/bathing, sleeping in an unfamiliar area (even if it's an enclosed space like an inn), eating foods that other people cooked (another reason why he watched Gale closely when he cooked was to make sure he doesn't put anything suspicious into whatever food he was making), being sexually intimate with another person, existing in a crowded area/space, accepting gifts (he hates owing people on top of being afraid that it's some sort of trap), asking for help with anything at all ever....

23. What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn't/don't even remember?

Sengo usually feels guilty for snapping at people after he cools down and takes the time to realize the other person probably didn't deserve to be snapped at. Happened a lot with Halsin and Gale at first. He even feels guilty for snapping at Astarion a couple times and he doesn't even like him that much. Does Sengo apologize? That's up for debate. Apologizing makes Sengo feel weak so his apologies tend to be passive-aggressive in nature and aren't very genuine but believe me when I say that he is trying his best.

24. Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

Oh he absolutely stole the cookie (that he 100% wasn't allowed to have) and it was a sugar cookie.

25. What subject/topic do they know a lot about that's completely useless to the direct plot?

Sengo knows a lot about natural disasters. Actually he knows a lot about any phenomenon, naturally occurring or otherwise, that can result in a high number of fatalities. Wars, plagues, famine, you name it. He shows an insane amount of interest in anything that has the stink of death around it an while it COULD, technically, be plot-relevant knowledge since he's a necromancer and all, most of it is really just him nerding out about people dying in horrible ways and being excited about mass graves and various calamities.

26. How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

If it wouldn't escalate straight to murder then he'd simply leave. He knows when he is unwanted and wouldn't bother trying to make a case for himself or anything. He's too proud to beg to be taken back and he's too apathetic to try figuring out why he was fired in the first place – once the ties are severed they're severed for good.

27. What's the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

Anything remotely feminine. Jewelry, dresses, things that are supposed to celebrate the fact he has a cunt, those go straight to the trash but not before he thoroughly destroys them first. Burns them even. Sengo is a mouthy little creature, anyone who dared to give him such things received extremely upfront instructions for where they can shove them and then told to go take a long walk off a short pier. He'd get punished for it sure, but nothing beat the satisfaction he felt from seeing the gift bearers' faces in reaction to his words.

28. What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

Sengo tells people he wants money and a steady stream of throats to slit to keep himself entertained. What he actually wants is to find his place in the world – he wants a proper home and most of all he wants peace. Even if his potential home will be a cave in the wild he doesn't actually care as long as it's with Kar'niss, as long as they aren't darting from one corner of Faerûn to the next because they keep getting attacked or because money gets low so they're forced to seek business elsewhere. Sengo wants a place he can truly call his own.

29. How do they respond when someone doesn't believe them?

Violently. Angrily. Sengo becomes desperate and volatile, yelling, throwing threats around, maybe even drawing his weapon. He feels like he MUST find a way to prove that he is telling the truth, he MUST show solid proof to this person, and if all the proof he has at the time are his words then he will be extremely frustrated and might even cry from the rage. He is NOT thinking or behaving rationally and he is dysregulated as fuck. WHY won't this person believe him, what is their problem?!

30. When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it's personal versus when it's professional?

Oh those are two ENTIRELY different types of guilt you're talking about there because when it's personal Sengo can't stand the feeling of having wronged somebody he cares for if he did. He can't stand knowing that his words/actions got an ally/friend of his hurt and it will eat at him for days until he apologizes (or tries to). Most of all it will hurt his pride the most because now he has to live while knowing that he fucked up. HE fucked up, not someone else, HE is to blame, and he CAN'T be guilty of anything ever because he has to be perfect Or Else. Again, his apologies are usually passive-aggressive and self-serving (he mostly just apologizes to make himself feel better), but he's trying to learn to be more empathetic towards people who aren't Kar'niss.

When it's professional though? Oops, collateral damage. All part of the mission, no need to dwell on it too much. That is if we're talking casualties. If it's a mistake in the sense of fucking-up-the-whole-mission kind of mistake then he will accept punishment in that case, it's only fair, it's even deserved. Unless that punishment is death. Then he will just sigh, kill his employer, and move on with his life.

31. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

Sengo feels the most guilt whenever he hurts Kar'niss whether accidentally or on purpose or somehow gets Kar'niss hurt by proxy. There have been times when he verbally snapped at Kar'niss which he felt extremely guilty for and even times when he physically attacked Kar'niss while the latter was enthralled by the cult of the Absolute and it was necessary for Kar'niss to be restrained. Again, extreme guilt. The way Sengo dealt with that guilt was by cutting himself. In his head he was punishing himself for hurting Kar'niss so he deserved it. Mikhail helped him work through that though.

32. If they committed one petty crime/misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?

Petty theft because sometimes you want something that isn't yours and if you were able to steal it then you deserve to have it.

33. How do they greet someone they dislike/hate?

He glares at them with an obvious look of irritation and/or disgust on his face. A very short and to the point "what do you want" maybe. If he's feeling particularly nasty he'd also say "what makes you think I want YOU around".

34. How do they greet someone they like/love?

He's a lot more relaxed, might even smile at them a little (or at least just lose the permascowl). He'd greet the person with a casual "hi/hey" or "well aren't you a sight for sore eyes". "Still in one piece I see. Good" is also on the table (I think that's a Lae'zel line but it's definitely something Sengo would say too). Kar'niss gets the "apple of my eye" treatment with some "I was beginning to miss you" thrown in.

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they've made?

Every choice Sengo makes can be considered morally questionable but I guess the smallest one would be essentially chloroforming a child so that they wouldn't witness the murder of their parents. He could've just killed the kid too but he's not COMPLETELY heartless. He dropped the unconscious kid off at some other house with a letter explaining everything instead.

36. Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

Sengo rarely keeps anyone in his life for longer than a contract or two, that way he avoids potential betrayals and backstabbing or, Gods forbid, anybody getting to know him more than they should. He kills whoever needs to be killed, steals whatever needs to be stolen, and then he's OUT, gone like the fucking wind. He prefers people with deep pockets who pay upfront and anybody who doesn't meet those criteria is irrelevant to him. Half upfront is fine too though he keeps an eye on those clients, preparing to kill them and loot their corpse in case they go back on their word or try to fuck him over. He offers his services as an assassin mostly and not many know of his expertise in necromancy but those who DO know can sometimes pay double if they want some sort of intel to be extracted from a certain corpse. The bottom line though is that Sengo even avoids repeat clients. He can't risk anybody getting too close.

37. What's a secret they haven't told serious romantic partners and don't plan to tell?

Sengo only ever dated Kar'niss and he doesn't really have eyes for anybody else (except maybe Halsin). Kar'niss knows – or knew – most of everything there is to know about Sengo. Some things just got forgotten following the agonizing transformation into a drider which drove Kar'niss mad and then also the Absolutist brainwashing that scrambled his brain further, so he is vaguely aware of the fact he knew some stuff that he now can't recall or can only recall in bits and pieces that don't make much sense to him. The one thing Sengo didn't tell Kar'niss though post-transformation is that sometimes he thought of killing him to put Kar'niss out of his misery but he's too emotionally attached to him to bring himself to do it. It's a dark thought Sengo would never vocalize, not around Kar'niss anyway, and he feels awful for having it, but sometimes the fact his boyfriend has mashed potatoes for brains really gets to him and he sinks into despair. Mikhail helped reignite the hope Sengo once felt for helping Kar'niss live a better life even as a mad drider.

38. What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

Song and dance. You could say that Sengo is half-decent at singing and dancing when he's alone but put him in front of a crowd and he'd immediately suck simply because he becomes embarrassed and can't perform to save his life. The closest he ever comes to singing or dancing in front of other people is when he sings for Kar'niss and that is IT.

39. Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there?

Sengo would 100% prefer to be completely excluded from events people did not wholeheartedly want him to attend, no questions asked. He might feel a twinge of jealousy if other people he knows get invited while he doesn't but he is otherwise pretty chill with not going because that means there won't be any fake, two-faced niceties he'd have to deal with from people he might only barely tolerate. He doesn't want to feel included in spaces where the inclusivity is forced. It reminds him too much of his childhood home.

40. How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

He'd feel weird about it, especially if his own grip was firm. He might ask the other person why they didn't shake his hand "properly" or better yet, just yank their hand back into a second handshake and not let go until they squeeze his hand like he wants them to.

41. What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone/somewhere else?

I think we can all agree that Sengo and Lae'zel share a vocabulary at least partially and that they're very similar to each other when it comes to their mannerisms, LOL. Besides that, Sengo tends to pick up various slang expressions he hears throughout his travels and words/phrases that just click in his little neurodivergent brain. Despite being educated and hailing from a house of significant esteem he tends to use a fairly simple vocabulary without too many fancy words/phrases unless he's trying to be sarcastic. Sometimes however he'll pick up a new word/phrase from Gale or Astarion that sounds cool when you use it and integrate it into his everyday vocabulary (he gets especially poetic when talking to or about Kar'niss, too). Oh, and he absolutely LOVES learning new insults and swear words. That's always been his favorite.

42. If invited to a TED talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

He'd probably talk about the blatant sexism among the drow and how the matriarchal system has gone to everyone's heads in the worst possible way imaginable. Maybe even advocate for men's rights a bit and also add a little segment about trans issues if he's feeling brave. It'd be titled "my mother is a bitch" or something else that's very bratty and on the nose.

43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing/environment/biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

Oh boy.... Sengo doesn't know how to digest people being nice to him for no reason, he just doesn't. If you're nice to him then that must mean you want something from him or that you have some sort of ulterior motive behind your nice actions/words. He also doesn't really understand flirting because in his head you're trying to either exploit him or breed him (therefore not taking him seriously as a man), he can't fathom the idea of somebody simply being attracted to him in a respectful way or for other qualities he might possess. When he realizes the misunderstanding – that is, when he FINALLY realizes people can be nice just because or that people flirting with him does not necessarily mean they only want him for his uterus he is completely flabbergasted. Just shocked. Relieved, but shocked, and VERY mistrustful. It will take time before Sengo can fully internalize the fact that not everyone in the world is out to get him.

44. What language would be the easiest for them to learn? Why?

Sengo already speaks Common and Undercommon so I think that the easiest language for him to learn would be Elvish because Undercommon uses Elvish script.

45. What's something unimportant/frivolous that they hate passionately?

Decorated armor and ESPECIALLY headpieces. Actually, ANYTHING that exists solely for the purpose of showing off wealth. Armor in particular needs to be practical, not pretty, in Sengo's opinion, and headpieces (hats receive most of the vitriol here) are simply ridiculous no matter how or why you wear them.

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they're a listener, what makes them talk? If they're a talker, what makes them listen?

It highly depends on who he's with. If it's a person he barely knows or doesn't care much for then he's more of a listener and avoids sharing too much about himself or his thoughts/feelings. He opens up considerably if it's a person he's grown to be comfortable with and there HAVE been times when Sengo went on rants and yapped for hours without showing signs of slowing down. With Kar'niss he tends to talk more, with Gale he has to fight for the opportunity to talk (because Gale simply out-talks him), and with Mikhail or Halsin he has to be coaxed into talking so, again, it really depends on Sengo's comfort level and how safe he feels to express himself around the other person.

47. Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

An old target of his whose life he spared. He then went and killed his client too for good measure just to give his mark a proper chance to run away and go into hiding, granting him the opportunity to get a fresh start elsewhere. Sengo's mark was an unfortunate man who came to know too much about some crime lord's personal affairs by mingling with the wrong sort out of desperation, thus turning him into a loose end that needed to be tied up. He wasn't a bad man, just extremely unlucky, and normally Sengo didn't really bother doing extensive background checks on his marks because his allegiance lied with whoever had the heavier coin purse. So he comes to kill this guy but the guy puts up a fight and gives Sengo a hard time, landing some solid blows on him, and while Sengo is staggered the man uses the opportunity to beg for his life and tell him his story. He says he was just trying to provide for his family – whom he ended up losing to top everything off – and that he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Usually Sengo would ignore pleas for mercy, kill his mark, and then head off to collect the money he's owed, but SOMETHING about this guy or the way he explained his situation tugged at Sengo's heartstrings and he decided to let him go. Sengo doesn't remember the man anymore but the man sure remembers Sengo, grateful to have been spared. He still thinks of him sometimes, wondering if they will ever meet again.

48. Who would they say 'yes' to if invited to do something they abhorred/strongly didn't want to do?

Kar'niss is an obvious answer but also – Halsin. Sengo likes (and more importantly trusts) Halsin so much that all Halsin needs to do is HINT at wanting to do something or go somewhere and Sengo will be up on his feet in an instant, even if it's something or someplace he can't stand. He will try everything once for Halsin, completely going against his own borderline paranoid attitude towards most things. He just feels like Halsin won't ever invite him to do something that would seriously harm him (at least not on purpose) and that he has his best interest in mind. He might still complain the entire time but he WILL do it if it's for Halsin.

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

Absolutely not. Sengo will be vocal about disliking certain foods or foods that aren't prepared well, he wouldn't tolerate something he finds disgusting just to not hurt somebody's feelings.

50. What belief/moral/personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don't agree with?

That it's okay to hurt people if it gets the message across. We generally don't really agree with that and believe that hurting people is never okay and that there is a HUGE difference between telling someone a harsh truth and just straight up being an asshole. We detest the idea of "brutal honesty". Start taking people's feelings and individual circumstances into account challenge, FRFR.

51. What's a phrase they say a lot?

"It costs nothing to leave me (the fuck) alone".

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

It depends on the situation. He really honestly tries to use his logical brain more and wait until he has the whole picture before choosing a plan of action but sometimes the monkey brain wins, sometimes Sengo is gonna act impulsively while only having 30% of the details and then more often than not end up regretting whatever it is he did under the influence of the monkey brain because acting impulsively tends to lead to fuck ups and hurt feelings and the only thing that varies is the magnitude of said fuck ups and the severity of said hurt feelings. I'd say that when he's being professional he has an easier time being levelheaded and calculating but his personal life is a trainwreck.

53. Who would/do they believe without question?

Nobody. EVERYBODY gets questioned ALL THE TIME, even Kar'niss, even Halsin. Every interaction gets dissected like a frog and analyzed until there is nothing left to analyze anymore, until Sengo is ABSOLUTELY SURE he covered every possible scenario and sub-scenario there is to cover. This man overthinks like it's his full time job and him trying to figure out whether someone telling him "good morning" might actually mean that person wants to kill him in his sleep makes quantum physics look easy.

54. What's their instinct in a fight/flight/freeze/fawn situation?

The instinct gets picked out by a roulette wheel, there's an equal chance for any. USUALLY it's fight but he HAS been known to run away and freeze when certain triggers are at play.

55. What's something they're expected to enjoy based on their hobbies/profession that they actually dislike/hate?

Lots of blood and gore is something that gives Sengo the ick despite being an assassin who is also into performing/studying autopsies (he perceives medical gore differently). Also for someone who likes arts, crafts, and literature, Sengo ironically hates bards.

56. If they're scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

Halsin, 100%. He used to want to seek comfort mainly from Kar'niss but Kar'niss isn't always in the right headspace to provide comfort and at some point he even became a threat after he was brainwashed by the cult so Sengo sadly ended up withdrawing from him and gravitating more towards Halsin who just EXUDED safety in Sengo's eyes. The type of fear doesn't matter because all threats pale in comparison to Halsin's warm, all-encompassing aura that Sengo simply gets lost in. With time he learns how to feel safe with Kar'niss again too but while he felt lost and alone Halsin was there to pick him back up and he will remember it forever.

57. What's a simple daily activity/motion that they mess up often?

Eating regular meals, having a healthy sleep schedule, drinking water, any other basic self-care thing that you're supposed to do daily in order to live your best life. Sengo sucks at those. He goes through the motions at "barely glued together" and calls it a day.

58. How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

The list of attempted hobbies is a long one and their common theme is "extremely pacifistic". Painting, gardening, playing an instrument, cooking/baking, needle felting, pottery, he tried a LOT of things that do NOT show just how angry and violent he is as a person. Those hobbies are his little oasis where he feels that peace he craves so much. They help him ground and they help distract him from the constant turmoil of his life. He's a Shadowheart case.