#I'm really rusty
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โ Virginia Woolf, in a letter to Violet Dickinson, September 1907
#spuffy#spuffyedit#spikeedit#btvsedit#btvs#spike#buffy the vampire slayer#buffy summers#spike btvs#spike x buffy#buffy x spike#haven't made edits in ages lol#i'm really rusty#i'll try to get myself all set so i can make gifs again#mine*
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Can someone please remind me how writing works?? I seriously can't remember ๐ญ๐ญ
#I haven't written in forever#I'm really rusty#wriothesley x reader in the works#trying to get it done by Halloween
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season 4 i love you forever
#really tried 2 capture that early spn lighting that u have to crank ur brightness all the way up for#supernatural#good boy meme#save me season 4#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural fanart#i'm rusty and spn fanart will fix me#spn#eyedraw
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@bsdfanweek's skk Valentine's week day 2: Camellias and Floral Troubles
Dazai's love life is so hard. This is in reference to my recent skk post!
#weep for dazai he's trying really hard#they're still settling in their new relationship#enjoy my monstrosity of cursive and capital letters for maximum drama and lisibility#my cursive is rusty and i'm not convinced all of you can even read cursive in the first place#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#skk#soukoku#i'm playing the romantic skk up because it's valentine's day week#when ironically it is very much almost aro week. but most of my stuff falls in the ambiguous category the rest of the year jshdgfsjhfg#also without remi i could not have come up with a corny one-liner so thank you very much
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when you gotta "walk of shame" back to camp because you're a lightweight and got absolutely plastered the night before, shaped into a bear, ran off into the woods and have no idea where your clothes went.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#halsin#bg3 halsin#halsin silverbough#my art#๐ซฃ#this is like the first (real) art I've posted in like.... months??? maybe over a year LMAO#I've been so rabid for Halsin he got me to fucking draw again#so it's really sketchy and shit and I'm hella rusty but whatever#tbh I think he would just walk around camp like this#you WILL be subject to see his bare naked hairy ass
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Stab first and ask questions never
#this is like 50% more background than I usually do lmao#I'm taking an art class for the first time since middle school#so it was really fun getting to use what I've learned when I was drawing this#this ended up looking a lot like a poster so that's nifty#rqg#rusty quill gaming#sasha racket#I did this
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Felt self indulgent so I took a crack at designing how Sally and Wally would look in my own story, Button: Human Among Entities!! Sally as an entity is a lunar and carnival doll mix working as a theatre teacher, and Wally is an eye goblin who works as the local artist and part time tinkerer!!
Will definitely get to the others!!!
#welcome home#welcome home au#bhae au#bhae#button human among entities#wally darling#sally starlet#one day I'll get to posting my own story#I'm just really rusty at drawing them ;;#insanely proud of sally's!!
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sorry itโs been uhhhh... oh god, like two and a half months. But Iโm back! For at least a little bit, hopefully! I also havenโt drawn anything in that time, so hereโs a little grian drawing done in aggie for you all :]
#art out the oven#grian#hermitcraft#aggie.io#me when i give him the little blonde streaks just to skyduo it up a little#im SO rusty!! but i'm trying!!#i also haven't. caught up much.. soon#i also have a commission to start#[yes commissions are. vaguely open! hopefully! you'd have to be really patient though]
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dads' day out ;)
wip is here but final comic version will be a bit different because "plot" reasons ;) (if you even can call my comics a story XD)
#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#atsv#atsv fanart#deadpool#spiderman 2099#spiderman#wade wilson#yea he has daughters comics canon#miguel o'hara#peter b parker#besides that I'm still strugling#and damn drawing this one is like herding cats#uphill battle of I really want to draw it#but i dont even know what is gone ir got rusty#keep your fingers crossed it will pass
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I swear I will draw something that's not depressing someday. But right now I'm busy being sad about the Ancient Rome sidequest again.
#I wanted to draw something fun again I really did#But I got inspired to do this I'm sorry#I wanted to show this sort of quiet and sad moment of Sasha mourning Grizzop and saying goodbye to him for the last time#but also showing the fiery destruction of Rome outside to show that she doesn't have time for a proper goodbye#because she still needs to escape the city to be out of danger#something like that#Idk I just really like making myself sad with my art apparently#sasha rackett#sasha racket#grizzop drik acht amsterdam#rusty quill gaming#rqg#rqg fanart#fanart#art
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Commissioned piece for Gabriel!
#artists on tumblr#astarion#bg3#bg3 astarion#gotchibam arts#commissioned piece#i'm welcoming 2024 w/ astarion art bc why not :3c#thank you for giving me the opportunity to draw him!!! ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ#as much as I wanted to draw him I was also kinda worried bc i've been getting rusty w/ anatomy#I keep thinking idk how to draw ppl anymore & then I always surprise myself lol#I guess using refs really does help :0#also! i've tried to draw astarion so many times before but I never like how they turn out skdjhfkjshsf#this one tho..... this is an exception#this is probably the best astarion i've drawn so far ;w;#me admiring him from afar: he's so pretty. he's so pretty. he's so pretty. he's so pretty... wHY IS HE SO PRETTY
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MORTAL KOMBAT 1 โ Hanging Gardens (Day)
#mk1#mortal kombat#mortalkombatedit#gamingedit#olivia.gif#usertravelllar#biafrnc#haven't giffed in a really long time so i'm kinda rusty....#but mk1 has such pretty stages so i couldn't resist#if anyone wants to be tagged pls let me know hehe <3
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The mentally ill urge to start writing a fic where Severus is sorted into Gryffindor with Snupin as end game and an extremely jealous Sirius Black
#let me cook#but not really#I'm too rusty#I ain't writing that#i'm tired#severus snape#pro severus snape#pro snape#remus lupin#sirius black#marauders#marauders era#snupin#remus lupin x severus snape#severus snape x remus lupin#remus x severus#severus x remus#gryfindor#Gryffindor Snape
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hope you guys are doing okay (you too mun!)
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Achilles: A lotโs been going on!
#asks#patrochilles#achilles#patroclus#[Okay so thereโs a bit of a Timeskip LMAO]#[this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a month Iโm so sorry but I am doing well so thank you โค๏ธ]#[I'm still not back and I'm not sure when I'll fully return to this blog]#[I'm still very much also mentally recovering from the fandom burnout/racism in general]#[Also my art is kinda rusty I haven't really drawn in months lol]
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you know, with hindsight now what it is I really do think a more literal reading of c!techno's chat would have helped his characterization a Lot
and mind you, this was originally intended to be the case, and very well may have been intended all along even if it wasn't usually emphasized within the lore
youtube
and don't get me wrong, I Get why it fell out of favor within the fandom. it coincides with a Very storied ableist trope that demonizes DID and disorders adjacent to it, and Can be spoken about in a way that is essentially indistinguishable from it depending on the word choice.
but the thing is ! not only does it not Have to be an allegory for DID, I straight up don't think it is At All.
because we Know what it's an allegory for. It's His Chat. there's technoblade playing the game, and there's the thousands of people watching with expectations and wants that he's compelled to meet (or, at the very least, pacify through Entertainment).
and this makes much Much more sense when conceived of as Supernatural. be that spirits, gods, demons, or anything that could fill that role. separate entities that, for whatever reason, only techno can sense the presence of and be affected by.
and of course, to an extent this is true for all creators. everyone had an audience that they were meant to entertain and the choices they made were influenced by that fact.
but technoblade came in with a Very distinct set of expectations that heavily impacted the choices he was Expected to make and the kinds of stories that he could tell. he was more or less a living legend in real life just as much as he was in roleplay, and these things were inherently connected.
and it's like !
when c!technoblade says he was peer pressured into killing tubbo at the red festival he Is technically talking about what happened within the roleplay. schlatt was demanding it from him, there's a sort of pressure there. but schlatt was also the dictator they were set to kill, and techno has never had any trouble fighting people he considered a dictator before, and certainly not Schlatt of all people.
but he WAS being peer pressured By His Audience. by thousands of people, most of which were demanding blood Because It Was The Expectation, because it'd be Fun.
out of universe technoblade made the decision he thought would be the most Entertaining, and he was right! consistently he made choices that would let him do the most bombastic Spectacles possible. And It's Great. he's Excellent at pulling dramatics and making a compelling scene that give other people room to work off of. in that sense I'd consider techno an Excellent actor, and I have to imagine that he was fun to work with.
the problem is when you then have to justify it from an in character perspective, grounded in those mushy things like Feelings with characters that can be traumatized and sustain lasting damage, Especially Without acknowledging the out of character incentive.
mind you, it's not Impossible to Create a backstory that could justify it. why a character as consistently powerful and feared as technoblade would feel pressured to kill an ally by someone he not only Can kill but Wanted To Kill. why a character as seemingly secure and in control as technoblade would lash out the way that he does to perceived betrayal, and yet consistently puts no weight onto having killed and permanently scarred an ally that trusted him.
what that'd need is tragedy. a storied history of being hurt and having to survive. building up To an untouchable god from a much much more vulnerable position. Long Lasting trauma that's lead to this deep insecurity and paranoia. and that's Possible and that's Compelling.
but it's just not in the text.
not only did we never learn basically Anything that c!technoblade was up to pre-series, we actually know Less by the end than when we started because of the sbi retconning.
it's a Theoretically Possible interpretation that's technically never Contradicted by canon, but would have to be created by scratch. it's a compelling idea for a fan fic (and one I'd like to read) and it's compelling for a theoretical recontextualization of the character, but it's just not In The Text.
meanwhile, we have the video above.
we have the Objective Fact that technoblade's decision making was often subject to the rule of cool (very Very effectively) to entertain his audience.
and most compellingly, these concepts Don't Need To Be Separate. in fact, in my opinion they're Stronger when you put them together.
because the thing is. it's Difficult to imagine techno as ever being in a vulnerable position. he is just Objectively more powerful than everyone else on the server, both in real life And within the lore. How could he have ever been afraid when he was stronger than anyone and everyone combined? when we saw with our own eyes that techno could face nearly the whole server at once and win.
but he Is a tragic character, at least he's meant to be. and that tragedy makes much Much more sense as something Inward.
technoblade as a character who Needs connection, who Needs stability, who Needs security, who Needs friendship and community and Love. but Lashes Out, Obliterates to the core of the earth, because of something that's not only out of his control but that other people Cannot Understand.
how do you explain to a child that you killed their best friend because a chorus of the undead called for his blood and you (in all the glory that he'd idolized) were unable to do anything but comply? how do you explain to that child that you beat him senseless in a pit as the restless dead jeered and laughed?
That's interesting. That's Compelling.
technoblade is idolized like a god, feared like a force of nature, and in an instant cut himself off from nearly everyone who'd considered him an ally. and that seems to be a pattern, over and over and over again. he's left isolated, and in return he faces retaliation, and in return he's always Waiting for retaliation.
and what do you say to someone who wants to kill you for being a monster? that it's Fine Actually because you only did what you did because you have a curse that compels you to? that the supernatural guided you to destroy their homes and kill their people? (rip jack manifold you will be missed)?
That Doesn't Quite Help Your Case.
technoblade as someone who is beholden to this literal cycle of violence and Loses those things that could ground him, community, stability, People, as a result. who Tries to overcome this very fact (to become a better person, in his own words as per the clip above), but is pulled back into it as a consequence of his own actions.
that's a tragedy !! that Makes Sense. that allows him to be Both this force of nature that other characters have to survive And A Person Who Is Hurt By The Same Conflict.
"I'm a person!" that fear of dehumanization makes So So Much More Sense when you see technoblade as someone who Already fears himself. who fears being a monster, who fears losing control, who has faced isolation again and again and again.
and, importantly, it doesn't have to be anyone else's Fault.
by making the source both Internal and Completely External (something that none of the other characters have any awareness or control over), you can Have techno as a tragic character without demonizing anyone else Or erasing the impact that c!techno had on them.
and in that sense, it Can be an allegory for mental illness, but not in that direct "oooooh how scary he hears voices" kind of way that people fear it looks. but in that sometimes people Will do things that can hurt others while not feeling in control. anger and mania and paranoia, things that you can't always Control and yet that impact that you have on other people still Matters.
and the answer to that is, often, vulnerability and accountability.
I think a lot about technoblade isolating himself so near entirely from the rest of the server, and slowly gathering a support system Back by the end. and I Really Do think that framing of it through this lens is a Very impactful way of breaking it down.
tubbo, tommy, wilbur, ranboo, niki, I think they'd All understand not feeling in control. lashing out, maybe even feeling justified in the moment, but hurting people they care about and furthering their own isolation.
There's Something There, and it's already In The Text. it just needs to be expanded on.
and why not do that ourselves now?
#dream smp#dsmp#technoblade#tommyinnit#tubbo#meta#long post#back on my bullshit#I really do think that his character is just outright Stronger under this framing#and I genuinely think everything post doomsday would've been stronger if he'd leaned into this#that said this is probably messier than some of my other techno analysis#because I've been chewing on it for a few days rather than my usual of rehashing the same idea for two years in a row#but I'm rusty so give me a break#also derivakat voices is a straight up banger and you can all pry it from my cold dead hands
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I know the Miku trend is old but I've only caught up to it now and I just had to draw a couple of Mikus from the middle of Algeria (Ouled Nail region, Mzab Region)
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#Algeria#hatsune miku#brazilian miku#Algerian Miku#miku fanart#miku in your culture#miku international#vocaloid miku#Ouled Neil#Mzab#Traditional art#Bcz I'm really rusty
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