#I'm really happy we're friends

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.

[wonder-and-wildflowers]

I love being aroace, but I desperately need friends who will prioritize me and won't make me their second choice without it turning into them having a crush on me.

Being pushed aside for a romantic partner hurts. Being less of a priority to someome I've known for YEARS than someone they've known for like 3 months is DEVASTATING.

Having a friendship with someone who prioritizies me and puts me first and is intentional about the effort and time they put in is all I want. And call me selfish but I want them to do it without falling in love with me.

I want them to do it platonically. Or alterously.

And you know what? I'm sick of people having crushes on me. I'm sick of friends building an entire relationship with me just to come out and say they only did it cause they wanted to kiss me. Or fuck me. Or both.

And then they get angry because I don't see them that way. They get resentful because they acted like thidls and behaved this way with the intention of is being a romantic investment.

And now I have to deal with the emotional distress of having someone pour so much into me, love me, prioritize me, doing a complete 180. And them resenting me for being upset that their behavior towards me has changed.

Them being resentful that I still expect thier usual behavior, because to me those were stardards for a platonic relationship that they set with me, and to them it was all a ploy to get me to be their girlfriend. They don't want a qpr. Thats never good enough for them.

[pastafossa]

Thanks to EVERYONE'S recommendations on my post about How Do I Get A Knitting Circle To Adopt Me - A Woodcarver - Into Their Group, I have discovered:

My local library has a knitting/crochet club that welcomes other crafts, too! I will be attending that tomorrow, so maybe they'll adopt me!

There's a local woodcarving group that has monthly meetups! Granted it meets at a senior center and membership is encouraged which I can't do obviously but I'm going to see if that's like, a hard line or not

There are a couple small, independent craft stores that might have leads on more groups, I'll be trying to hit those up in the next few weeks and see if they have any leads!

My witchy shop used to have crafting meetups, I saw it on old FB events! That will be starting back up again soon, so I can hit that up too!

And here's a tentative one - there were so many others like me who expressed the same sadness of not being able to find a little crafting group where we could all work on our respective crafts and just have fun with crafty friends and learn neat things. So I'm talking to a friend about how complicated it would be to set up a discord server for us, because gd it, I know we all live far apart but if there's a way for all of us to do a craft night together once a month or whatever and become crafty friends, we should be able to do it, along with showing off our interesting things we make in between! So put a pin in this one, since I've only ever used discord, not really run one, but if I can make it work, I'm going to try when I have some time.

[jils-things]

making good progress with the gen 2 arc with my sister! i got super happy seeing gold again be himself 🥺🥺🥺💚💚

[chrisbangs]

i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸

[sanasanakun]

Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.

It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)

[savage-rhi]

Fuschia/Magenta?

[hyunjinz]

.

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Okay, so, life update in the tags

[transgender-catboy]

I love my friends so much!

wish I knew how to react when they say they love me back

[havent-thought-of-a-name-lmao]

i started hurting like in the middle of a call w my friends and i'm just like. why would you do that Right Then. why does my shoulder hurt. i've literally been sitting in one spot all fucking day doing nothing that would aggravate my pain. it's making me want to cry. like did i do something?? did something trigger it??? or did my body just go "fuck you" and start this shit?? ughhhh i wanna cry i hate this i hate this fog i wanna just disappear i'm so tired

[renegadeknight]

ooooo so interested in Treacherous!!

Okay this one is still very much an outline/mess of notes so I don't have any snips to share and it's probably the one I'm most shy about, idk why exactly, just feels like it would be less interesting to other people, so I'm just vibing by myself lol.

Anyway! It is an Anna!Lives AU where she ends up as a FEDRA lab rat for ~10 years and escapes right after Marlene finds and sends Ellie off with the fireflies. So then Joel and Tess take Anna to try to catch up at the state house but they miss them. Tess still gets bit (sorry) and then it follows Joel and Anna across the country to try to track down Ellie and as they spend more time together Anna keeps telling him more and more about little Ellie from when they were together a few years before they got separated. By the time they catch up to Ellie, Joel's ready to level the hospital for a kid he hasn't even met, and her mother.

Fun fact, I actually mentioned this one in an earlier chapter of Stubborn Love. It's one of the books Ellie gets at the library 😁

Thank you for the ask!

[pastafossa]

The Glorious TRT Gift

I needed to make this one its own post specifically so I could link it on my TRT masterlist.

One of my highlights of going to the con was finally getting to meet with @wonderlandmind4​, who I’ve been chatting with for ages after bonding over the fic. It was one of those friendships where you finally meet and you feel like you’ve always known each other. There is no awkward period, no ‘um who are you exactly’. Just boom, we’re hugging, we’re chattering, we’re getting kicked out of Panera because we lost track of time while talking and they’re closing, we’re exchanging friendship gifts. And there was one in particular that was very special. If you’ve been around on tumblr, then you may have seen my mentions of her teasing about whatever this TRT gift was. I know she told a couple other people at the con, but when she finally gave it to me, I was just... stunned, and I immediately teared up.

She'd created a funko display of black suit Matt and a custom Funko Jane she'd ordered. It was set above the streets of the Kitchen, complete with beautiful, glittering threads she'd made and attached herself, with the Hell's Kitchen skyline at night as the backdrop.

Jane even has her key necklace, along with her leather jacket! Seriously, the fact that they have not just a red thread, but Matt also has his white thread signifying his love for his city, is just... perfection.

Girl, this is one of the wildest, sweetest, most thoughtful things I've been given and I have repeatedly teared up when proudly showing it to friends and family. My geek friends on my socials are literally losing their minds over it. I literally carried this in the Keanu Jesus tote bag with me every time I left the car on the ride home because I wanted to make sure nothing happened to it. The second I got home, I was rearranging the Matt Murdock shrine so I could set it up front and center. And I've been looking at it and touching it on and off all day, just stunned that someone loved TRT enough to make it. It is absolutely perfect and I love it so, so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 😭

[aeons-domain]

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

@akikikis I love you. You make my days better :3

[silverselfshippingchaos]

ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..