#I'm pretty sure some of you remember that 1 weird looking baby back then

[ricksoo]

So uh

Kinda got carried away with other blogger's m2 template so...

Ye.

So anyways...

Which version of template is more intimidating lol

Left mewtwo template by @pokemon-ash-aus (tank you)

Right mewtwo template by @blues-sues (tank you too)

I might've tampered the template by a slight bit... hope you both don't mind. ^^'

And I refuse to explain who this two is 🥲

Add this in cuz why not

This one belongs to @kantaroth

Now,

Out of all 3 of em,

Which template is the most intimidating?

[rorywritesjunk]

Down in the dark where the waves won’t go, I’m bound to find my way.

Sunny and Buggy disagree over the next steps of their life together leading to them spending time apart.

Rating: PG-13 to be safe for swearing and arguing. Warning: Each chapter will have a specific warning. Epilogue!!! Happy ending!!! AAAA!! Word Count: 2,111 A/N: The direct sequel to "No locked upon land...", the fic that started it all. I do not use "You" in this as now that Sunny is an established OC I decided not to go that route. The ending!! Happy!! Also I'm of the belief that you never remember every person you've ever met in your life. You may cross paths multiple times and not realize it. Hence how I chose to end this. Thank you for reading this! It was fun and painful and great to write!

Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Epilogue Taglist: @hey-august @lostfirefly @ane5e

Epilogue

It was weird sleeping in but Buggy insisted on it the night before. He said he would get the baby up and even make breakfast (she wasn't too sure on that part) but that she deserved to sleep in. The last year had been hard on them, from the fights to their brief separation to Sunny telling Buggy she was pregnant. She never saw him fall to pieces so quickly before until that moment. 

He had been shocked into silence for just a few minutes before he shrieked and rushed to go tell the crew, leaving Sunny behind in the pantry. She could hear the excited cheers from the crew. Apparently they were just as excited as their captain.

“Shh, shh, why are you fussing? You're not supposed to fuss when daddy carries you! It's not flashy!”

She cracked an eye open and looked over towards the door. Buggy held Gold against his chest while carrying a tray of food with his hands out in front of him. The baby was fussy even though Buggy was trying his best to calm him.

“Gold, buddy, come on, Mama's sleeping and you're gonna wake her up.” He huffed softly as he tried his best to soothe him. “I already changed you and you didn't want the mush she made you last night, so what do you want?”

She grinned and burrowed herself under the covers. She'd let him suffer a bit more. He didn't have to carry a baby for 9 months or spend over 30 hours in labor. All he did was cry when the baby was finally born and he finally saw his son with his little fluffy blonde hair and little red nose.

“Goldie, kiddo, you're killing me here.” Buggy whined. Sunny sighed and finally rolled over to face them, only to burst out laughing at the sight of her husband covered in flour, eggs, and she was pretty sure there was some jam in his hair. He glared at her as he set the tray on the bed and passed her the baby. Gold’s eyes lit up and he was happy to snuggle in her arms. She kissed him on the forehead and smiled. 

“You okay there, Buggy?”

“I cooked you breakfast!” He told her. “The skillet was too hot and I burned my fingers, and then the water boiled over when I made your tea. The eggs spilled onto the two of us so I had to change Gold again and then he sneezed as I had a scoop of flour and it got everywhere.”

Sunny distracted herself by looking at the tray of food and tried not to erupt into giggles. The piece of toast seemed to have a little hand print in the jam. She looked back at Buggy as he scooted himself into bed beside her and took a bite of the toast.

“Honey, you have jam in your hair.” She pointed out. He groaned and slumped against her as Gold watched his daddy curiously. “There's a little hand print in the jam…”

“He grabbed my hair at one point.” Buggy whined. “I didn't realize he had sticky fingers! Babe, I just washed my hair!”

She kissed the top of Buggy’s head and smiled. “You're a good dad.”

He lifted his head up just enough to look into her eyes as he pouted at her. Dealing with a sticky baby from time to time was something Buggy still couldn't handle. Everything else? Whatever, he could deal with diapers and spit up, but for some reason anything sticky like jam had Buggy wanting to have a meltdown over it. 

“Can I go wash my hair?” He whined softly.

“Yes, honey.” She told him as he started to get up. “Thank you for breakfast and for getting the baby ready.”

Buggy looked at her funny and shrugged. “I'm his dad, it's my job to look after him.”

“Yea-”

“I don't care what your family thinks should happen. He's my kid, I am going to raise him. It's not all on you, babe.” Buggy told her as he went to look at himself in the mirror. Maybe he didn't need to wash all of his hair, just that section of it. “The idea that I'm babysitting my own kid is shit and if your aunts and uncles say anything then I'll say something back!”

Sunny doubted he would say anything but she wouldn't discourage him. She loved him even more now after seeing him take care of Gold. Buggy almost always had his son in his arms or near him when he was working. The only time Sunny saw the baby was when it was feeding time. 

“I love you, Buggy.” She told him as he tried to wash the sticky jam out of his hair. He looked back at her curiously before grinning widely at her.

“How could you not?” He asked as he winked at her. “I'm the greatest husband and dad in all the sea, babe!”

~*~

He didn't mean to get lost again.

Buggy had only taken a few steps away from the first mate to look at something when a crowd walked by and he was by himself. Where did Rayleigh end up? This was his second time getting separated from the crew on an outing. If Buggy was lost again, he'd get a talking to and won't be allowed to step off the ship ever again. He tried to look around but the first mate was nowhere to be seen.

Buggy tried not to panic but it was a little hard not to. 

He stuck his hand in his pocket, gripping the pretty bracelet he had found a few weeks ago. He didn't quite remember how he found it but it was one of his favorite things. The weight in his pocket was a comforting reminder of what he was striving for in his pirate journey: find as much treasure as possible.

“Are you lost?”

Buggy’s head jerked around to see a girl who looked about his age. She was smiling at him but he wasn't sure why. Was being lost amusing to her?!

“No, I'm not lost!” He insisted as he straightened up. “Why would you just ask someone that?!”

“You just looked lost.” She told him with a shrug. “I'm Sunny, my Mama's right over there. You can stay with us until your mom or dad show up if you want!”

Buggy stared at her. She just… offered to have him stay with her not knowing who he was when he could be some scary, dangerous pirate. He was about to say something to her, call her stupid for that, but a woman walked up, her blonde hair in a ponytail, arms covered in tattoos, startling Buggy into keeping his mouth shut. She looked more like a pirate than someone's mother.

“Sunny, what's going on?”

“He's lost, mama!”

“I-I’m not lost!” Buggy squeaked, not taking his eyes off the pirate. She cocked her head to the side before crouching down in front of him, looking him over curiously. He tried to look like he wasn't nervous but… he was for some reason. His captain was the strongest but this lady looked like she could be just as strong. 

“Oh? Well, you can hang out with us until someone comes looking for you.” She smiled. “I'm Windy. We were about to get a snack. What's your name, honey?”

He couldn't help but stare at her. The way she smiled and called him honey was… familiar and comforting to him for some reason. He glanced at Sunny. She was smiling at him as well and he felt himself relax just a bit. Maybe he could stick around with them until Rayleigh showed up.

“B-Buggy.”

“Buggy? That's a cute name.” Windy said as she smiled at him. “Let's get you kids a snack while we look for your adult, Buggy. How does that sound?”

He shouldn't talk to strangers. The crew told him and Shanks not to, but he did feel safe around these two. He wasn't sure why but they didn't seem to be a threat. There was a familiarity in that smile and how she called him honey, but he couldn't place where. He swallowed heavily and nodded. He could stay with them until he found Rayleigh.

~

To keep him from getting separated from them, Sunny held his hand the entire time. Buggy allowed her, saying nothing as his cheeks burned as they sat on a bench while Windy went to get them both a snack. The little girl looked at him and smiled brightly. He looked away.

“I bet Mister Rayleigh will find you.” She told him. “If not, you can stay with us.”

“I can find my way back to the ship if I have to!” Buggy shot back. “This place is just big, okay?”

Sunny tilted her head to the side and smiled. He hated that she kept doing that. Why were these two being so nice and helpful? Did they want something in return? He huffed softly and looked back at her. She gave his hand a squeeze and looked back at the people milling about the area

Windy came back a few minutes later, handing them both a tasty piece of fruit before standing beside her daughter and keeping an eye out for Rayleigh. She met the first mate once before, back when she was a member of the Cook Pirates, so spotting him wouldn't be too hard.

She glanced at the kids. Sunny was asking Buggy questions about living on a ship, being a pirate, all kinds of things, even asking what was the best treasure he found so far. The boy was answering back, an air of arrogance about him as he talked about rescuing the captain one time from a nasty pirate crew and how he found a treasure chest that was almost bigger than the ship! Sunny’s eyes were sparkling as she listened and Windy was happy to see her daughter making friends with someone. 

The snacks were enjoyed and the kids were chatting when Rayleigh made an appearance. His face was a mix of anger and relief as he crossed his arms and looked at Buggy. The boy straightened up and looked back at him, wondering what the punishment was, but Windy patted him on the head.

“Rayleigh, it’s been a while!” She laughed. “My daughter found your boy and was close to adopting him into our family. Better keep an eye on him or she’ll kidnap him.”

“Maybe he'll learn not to wander off.” Rayleigh grumbled as the kids stood up. “Let's head back, Buggy. Tell them thank you.”

Buggy looked over at Sunny and Windy. The pirate seemed amused while Sunny looked disappointed about him leaving. They just met, they weren't friends or anything, so why was she looking like she wanted to cry? He scratched the back of his head and glanced up at Rayleigh for reassurance. He sighed and looked back at them.

“Thank you for looking after me.”

“Any time, Buggy!” Windy chuckled. “It was nice meeting you. I bet you're going to be a famous pirate someday.”

Buggy puffed out his chest and looked smug about that. Rayleigh put his hand on Buggy’s head and directed him to Sunny. The little girl just gave him a sad smile and waved at him as the boy glanced up at his guardian again. What was he supposed to say to her? He just thanked them! 

“Thank… you for helping me, Sunny?” It was more of a question, but he wasn't sure. Her eyes lit up and her smile got bigger. Buggy forced himself to look away again because he didn't want to look at her any more. She had a pretty smile.

“You're welcome, Buggy!” She replied happily. “I hope we can stay friends!”

He didn't really know how, they wouldn't see each other again, but he just shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets, toying with the bracelet he found for a moment. It was pretty, but he didn't remember how he got it, so maybe… 

He could offload it on her. It wasn't worth anything, he was pretty sure about that, so he pulled out the bracelet and reached for Sunny’s hand. She looked at him curiously as he put it in her hand. He said nothing, stared at her for a moment, then turned and hurried off before Rayleigh turned to follow. Windy just chuckled softly as Sunny looked it over and put the bracelet in her pocket. 

He was kinda weird but Sunny thought he was nice. Maybe she'd see him again.

[ryanthel0ser]

My Reactions to Trigun Stampede After Watching the 1998 show

So I watched all of the 98 show in less than 24 hours and adored it so I went into Stampede cautious and yknow I liked it just a tiny bit (as I am writing this I am on my 4th rewatch, I watched it for the first time 3 days ago, I adore it). I decided to document my reactions cause I feel like a few mutuals will enjoy this.

Episode 1

SPACE??? ALREADY??? JUST RIGHT OUT THE GATE???

awww hi Vash, lil guy <333

what are they cooking here, showing us the Rem situation immediately

Rem 😢

This is very much like Eva in DMC5

Oh they're reporters now?

WHERE'S MILLY, WHERE IS MY GIRL MILLY, WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHERE IS MILLY

i miss milly...

yep that's Meryl

VASHHHHHHH <333333 MY GUY <3333333

JOHNNY YOUNG BOSCH <333333333333333333333 (yes i watched the dub, it's good and I love Johnny Young Bosch)

only 6 million??

He's so sillay <333

MAJOR aesthetic difference

"Careful the kitchen's serving lead" queen

so weird to see a town not running Vash out

love that they're still mixing the music so that it's louder than the dialogue (not)

THEYRE JUST HANDING THE VASH AND KNIVES LORE AT THE VERY START?????

Knives you are so close to playing the Interstellar theme

I should really read the manga to see what they're adapting that 98 didn't

Ooo i love this song

98 STYLE ART ASDJFKAJDSFLJADFKJA THEY DID THAT FOR ME THAT WAS FOR ME THAT CATERS TO ME

Episode 2

I just noticed he calls him "Nai" euueueueueu

*insert catjam here* intro goes so hard

It'd be funny if Roberto went "man this sounds like Dante and Vergil"

Not him trying to cry his way out asjkdfjlkadf that's Vash for sure

I'm so glad they got Johnny Young Bosch for this I don't think anyone else could do it

July is still around??

"MAMA LOVES YOU BABY NOW SHOO" iconic

noooo :[

NEBRASKA FAMILY

"why'd they have to use this photo" it's a cute photo!

HE'S SO REAL

ONE BULLET VS 2 DOZEN DONUTS, LIKE YEAH CHOOSE THE DONUTS THAT'S BASED

Did they model Rosa after Milly to atone for the fact she isn't here

Me seeing things that are identical to the 1998 one: excited pointing at tv while pogging

"Mm, Yeah no <3" I love him so much

"what's wrong with being a little timid" I want to hold you and never let go, you do not deserve what's coming

look at my boy dodging lets go

"I don't have any reason not to...eh, I don't really care...I told you I don't" Vash you deserve the world

hell yeah gunslinger moment

VASH HOW STRONG ARE YOU??

that smile AUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEU it really reminds me of 98

HUH?

Episode 3

uh oh

well how we getting outta this

OH THIS GUY I REMEMBER YOU

HE GOT CLOWNED ON BY SAMURAI GUY

ANGRY VASH HELLO HI KING MISSED YOU

love seeing Vash angry some of my favorite moments are when he's pissed

oh this is a smart plan actually

"who's side are you on anyway" is this going to be recurring

KNIVES

man Knives you really arent holding back

the creators of this show went "hey we saw your twin angst in DMC Capcom and how much yall emphasize the twins so we'd like to do the same since you probably were inspired by Knives and Vash for the Vergil and Dante situation"

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT GORE IS SICK <- blood and gore enjoyer

is Johnny Young Bosch the only returning voice???

this is the third ask for who's side Vash's on this is definitely recurring

uhhhh whatcha doing there

◉_◉

"you would shoot me?" lowkey wish it was still as funny as it was in the 98 version

WOAH RELOAD ANIMATION

He's living up to the Million Knives name

that is certainly a Million knives

Metal Gear ass name

WOAH THAT'S SO COOL AND PRETTY

holy crap they quickly established the difference in serious tone oh my god, there is so much emotional weight here

also the music is gorgeous

yeah the stakes are much higher in this version, they are not afraid to kill characters

this is just heartbreaking

Vash 🥺

"because I dont deserve to cry" VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH AEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEU

so will we get to see what happens to July or will it just not happen

Episode 4

hi Wolfwood

not gonna lie I don't like this fit, the pants specifically

where's your nose king, they took it away

THEY HIT WOLFWOOD WITH THE CAR AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

oh well this aint good

Not a priest????

yep that's Wolfwood (lollipop scene)

he's much more emo here tho not as charming as 98

ASJDFJFSDL LMAOOO

loved that animation of Vash looking at the bill

well Roberto isn't wrong, you did work for Knives

hey isnt that Meryl's gun

"don't worry I can see through his emo persona ^-^" "HEY"

I KNEW IT WAS THIS KID

woah cool design

we are getting so much more of these guys than we did in 98

YUHHHHH THE DESIGN IS BASICALLY IDENTICAL

WOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

that actually looks good, id eat it

REVEALING THIS ALREADY?????

WHAT ARE YOU COOKING STUDIO ORANGE????

"i can see it in your eyes" dont think i didnt notice that little parallel

gate????

im snorting those end credit arts like crack cocaine

Episode 5

Todoroki that you?

WAIT I FORGOT WOLFWOOD IS VOICED BY TODOROKI'S ENGLISH VA AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

the radio spouting religious stuff and doomsday talk is giving DMC5 intro

It's so interesting that at some angles the style is identical to the 1998 show

Vash in particular, they translated his facial expressions perfectly

OH THIS GUY

OH I LOVE THIS REDESIGN

I LOVE THIS REDESIGN A LOT

what's the deal with this kid

man they really are just tugging on my heartstrings in this show

"If God won't, I will!" STOP

Alice Angel that you?

OH NO

IS THIS WHERE I THINK IT'S GOING

OH NO

OH NO THIS MAKES THIS WHOLE SITUATION SO MUCH WORSE

HE KNEW HIM SINCE HE WAS A BABY???? SHOOT ME IT'D HURT LESS

HE WAS JUST SOME GOON GUY IN THE 98 VERSION I CANT AEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEU

same face as the 98 guy tho just with the scar

Oh Wolfwood doing that has so much more impact now

although in the 1998 version by having it not be someone Vash knew it added to how far Vash's ideals went and it caused Wolfwood to have introspection but this is a different arc

And in the 1998 version the situation is much more ambigous cause Vash is talking to the "kid" but he hasn't turned back at all yet and Wolfwood shoots

so it's more unclear who is right in that situation while in this you can see Rolo is sorta just frozen there and thinking so you're inclined to Vash's side more

what are they cooking, im so intrigued

Episode 6

WOAH WOAH WOAH WOLFWOOD WHAT IS YOUR DEAL

WOLFWOOD WAS A NORMAL GUY IN 1998

HE IS CLEARLY NOT HERE

"im like the cool big brother" tumblr does not agree

I have seen some art

THE SUITCASE THINGYS

CHARACTER THAT WASNT EVEN IN THE 1998 ONE???

MANGA CHARACTER AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

this guy must be a bleach fan

OH THAT'S SO MUCH FUNNIER KNOWING JOHNNY YOUNG BOSCH VOICES ICHIGO AJAHHDAHHAHAHAHA

i love this 2D style can I get an entire anime in this style

Little Wolfwood and Little Megumi need to be in a idgaf competition

tiny menace to society

stfu this is so cute, how will this go horribly wrong

smoking at like 7 years old asjkdfalfd

Woah Trigun, your mom lets you have TWO tragic sibling plots???

wow they made Wolfwood trip balls

WOAH

THEY ARE NOT HOLDING BACK ON THE BODY HORROR <- thrilled about this

man they did screw you up

LEGATO

they took his emo swag

S+ what is this Devil May Cry

they flipped Legato's design and put the spikes on the right side and the part the other way

Livio has become Sans Undertale

Wolfwood better have a tiddies out fit next season

they were POPPING in 98

that jacket was STRUGGLING

"Ryan you're objectifying him" yes I am

I want to see his tiddies hand em over

Not gonna lie Wolfwood, you calling Vash "blondie" isnt helping the allegations

Episode 7

LMAOOOO THE BADLANDS GANG GETTING THEIR PHOTOS TAKEN AJSDFLJFSDK

i can't with this im AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEUEUEUEUUE

if Buddy Daddies hadn't sucked me dry from crying so hard (i had just finished it the previous day) I would be weeping

WELP HE JUST DID THAT

he aint dead though i saw stuff about him

Legato not gonna lie I prefer your 98 version so far, like he made me shake in my boots a bit

Vash why is your arm made of the blown glass stuff they use to make little glass figures you see in the glass cabinets at the back of the PX or at a big gas station

that gun definitely hit something, just not the town bet

the title card of "Wolfwood" after he calls himself the punisher asjkdfjlaf

hello why am I crying at the scene of Vash with his hands against the glass in the plant

this just in, scene so pretty with pretty music that it made Ryan cry

not the first time

OH HE'S A PLANT

THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

IM SO STUPID HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THAT DURING 98

ONCE AGAIN GOING FERAL FOR END CREDIT ART AALALALAAODFOAOAOAOAO

Episode 8

oh nooooooooooooooooooo

dont show me this

dont show me them being happy

my little baby boy auaueueueueueueueueueueueueueueu

"im mom to the sweetest boys in the universe" ONE sweet boy

The little blush on Nai dwaw

Plant lore????

Saverem? Really that's her last name??? Is this Metal Gear

BRAD???? THAT'S BRAD???

actually not surprised that's Brad

"there has to be something special that only you can do" be the most babygirl anyone could ever be, though you gotta grow up for that

I CANT LITTLE VASH AUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEEUUEUEUEEU

I NEED TO TAKE YOU FAR AWAY AND SPOIL YOU WITH ICE CREAM

when is this going to go horribly wrong

IM GONNA CRYYYYY HE'S SO ADORABLE AUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEEUUEUEUE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HE'S NOOOOT

HE ISNT WORKING WITH KNIVES HE DIDN'T LIE HE SAID HE'S PROBABLY DEAD WHICH UNDER MOST CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD BE TRUE

Man they made Knives look EXTRA Vergil

Episode 9

epic piano, also how are you playing both parts by yourself

WOAH 1998 TYPE SHOT

i fully believe they're emulating the 1998 style just in 3D now, the side profiles give it away

well that's messed up, i can see why Knives hates humans

that doesnt explain why he crashed the ships though

"Millions Knives" i really do think you played Metal Gear

Knives I do wonder what your plan was cause how do you expect the plants to survive here

oh so the gun isn't custom made

98 THING HE SAID THAT KINDA IN 98 TOO ("all this time and you're still just as useless without me)

i appreciate them trying to keep the deranged faces Knives makes in 98

WOAH WOAH WAOH WOAH WAOHWOAH

IS THAT THE BLACK HOLE THING, I SAW SOMETHING ABOUT IT FROM THE MANGA

Now Vash is even MORE like Nero

WAIT HAS IT NOT BEEN 100 YEARS???

oh nevermind, its been 150 years

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

a whole ship of passengers...I'm sure this won't be relevant later they're going to die arent they

oh my gosh that's right she's never seen flowers and such like this

more of this side picking stuff

I'm not ready for when he does kill again, that will actually break my heart

oh they are just bugs

OUR PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM, BECAUSE WE'RE NON-BINARY AND A BUNCH OF MFS

Episode 10

I'M ON EPISODE 10 ALREADY???

I literally became a Trigun fan in less than 24 hours

Hundred Spoons lmaooooo

so weird to hear them talk about Earth, but it's not as much of a HUH like 98's

than you remember??? when did you come here last

I need him to say Love and Peace

please please say it

"I DID NOT GIVE THAT ORDER" "OH SHUT IT" "OKAY" asjlkdfjlskfd

okay is Conrad aware Knives probably aint gonna let him make a new race of humans, like have fun with your experiment he does not want human to live at all

"they're disgusted by you" that is the most babygirl man ive ever seen

i have the exact opposite reaction

also his scars aren't as gnarly as 98...will he get more later

ULTIMATE LIFE FORM MENTION 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ WTF IS A POWER INHIBITOR 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️

well that's what you get for mixing Knives genetics in that

El-what's her face got homophobia in her eyes

I KNEW IT

I KNEW HE WASNT MAKING IT

HE'S GOT MERYL'S GUNS FROM THE 1998 ONE SO IF SHE'S GONNA HAVE THE GUNS THEN SOMETHING HAD TO HAPPEN

God Knives you drama queen with this piano

oh NOW he's a pastor

BRUH i cant

HE DIDNT CAUSE IT THAT WAS YOU

wtf did you do to him Conrad

also Knives's VA sounds so much like Vergil at times

it's not Dan Southworth but this guy can sound close

Episode 11

oh intro immediately you know it's gonna be intense

okay Wolfwood Im begging you next season at the very least change pants the skinny jean look isnt good

ALSO KNIVES HELLO

PUT ON SOME CLOTHES

jesus kids these days

always wearing revealing outfits

DOUBLE CHEEKED UP

man they aren't letting up the bible allegories

"dawn your crown of thorns"

1998 had more subtle ones and then the super obvious one with the garden of eden stuff

"we're going to reverse humanity's suicide by killing them all" do yall...do yall not see the problem with that logic

god this makes me want to read the manga now just to see how much this version pulls from it and how much the 98 version pulls from it

Knives what is your workout routine do you workout with Toji or something

HE LITERALLY DIDN'T THOUGH KNIVES, STOP BLAMING HIM FOR A CHOICE YOU MADE

"comparison is the thief of joy" SO REAL AND BASED

Knives yknow I have this gut feeling that Rem did mean something to you and you are just in SUPER denial

OH OKAY

ALRIGHT I GET WHY YOU'RE THE WAY YOU ARE ABOUT THIS KNIVES

OH HE LITERALLY READ THE BIBLE

STFU NO IT WASNT KNIVES STOP TRYING TO MAKE HIM THINK IT'S HIS FAULT

was it Knives was it? Cause you seem willing to sacrifice your brother for all this

Knives this is gonna backfire on you

Knives read the bible and took all the wrong lessons

dont think i didnt notice that the giant plant resembles Rem

Episode 12

"like a western, life on the frontier" STFUUUUUUUUUUU

YOU DO NOT WANT KNIVES IN THOSE GENETICS THEY'LL JUST START KILLING EACH OTHER

ONCE AGAIN THE MERYL REM CONNECTION (referring to 98 when Vash sees Rem in Meryl)

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

STUFUFUSDFLKJSFDF

Sjaesjk

fpaesjf

THE HAIR THAE THE HAIR

SHUT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

YES

EYSYEYSYEYSEYSEYEAYEYSYEYSYE

THE ANGEL GUN

SHUT UP

SHUT UP

#0

THEY PLACED US KINDA AT THE INTRO OF THE ORIGINAL

ALSO HE'S DOING LOVE AND PEACE IN THE PHOTO

INSURANCE SOCIETY

AJKLSDFLJKSDFJKLFDSLJKDFSLJKFDSJLAKFDJLFKDSFDLK

JDFASLJKDSFAJLKFSDJKL;SDZFLJK

MILLIE MILLIE MIILEYLAWER

FHJAERSKJDFLK' SDAJKLFAHKLASFDJLKDFHL;AJSFHJASDFLJDFSALKSDALKJDSFHJLDSFAHDSHJLSDAFHKLFSLAJ

THE EARRINGS SHE HAS HER EARRINGS

JKLDSJLKSADJLKDSZJLKSDFJLKSDFJLKZSLDFJ;ZKSFJLKSDFZJLKASDFJLKSFASDF;LJZVDXLNKXZVLS

VASH

ERIKS ASLDKJJLKSDAJLKSDFALJKSDFAJLKSDFAJLKSDFAJLKSFALJKASFDLJKSDAFLJKDSFJLKSDFAJLKSDFLJKSDAFLJSADFJLSDFJLDSFJLKSDFJLKLSDFJKA

OH MY GOD

OH NY GOD

OG TY G SD H ASDFLJ

OH MY GOD

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

YEAH

YEAH I WAS RIGHT TO WATCH 1998 FIRSR

I WAS SO RIGHT FOR THAT

OH THAT MAKES THIS SO MUCH BETTER I

M LSOING MYS ASDFJMIND

WHEN

WHEN NEXT SEASON

WEHN WHEN IN ENED

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[alaydabug2]

I'm in the car and I'm bored en

SO HERES A LIST OF MY MEDICAL ISSUES IVE HAD THROUGHOUT LIFE 😃

Vaugly related to my fanfic

Tetrology of Fallot (tof): congenital (born with it) heart defect that is basically 4 defects in 1 (I do not have the energy to look up or type all those scientific words rn so sorry)

I've had 3 open heart surgeries to fix it o e at 8 days 10 months and 5 years

Died 6 times on the second one 😃

Ngl life isn't too different with it

If you don't count the yearly doctor visits and can't play contact sports

I mean there's more to it that that obviously but it's mainly small things like getting out of breath quicker and I bruise easy because of having to take baby asprin

BUT the doctors ORIGINALLY said I was never gonna be able to walk or talk or do anything for myself

God vetoed that decision 😌

NOW I NEVER SHUT UP 😁

Got a nifty battle scar down my chest as a souvenir ☺️

And I used to be called smurf baby cause I turned blue alot

I make jokes about it now (hush I'm allowed to )

Ngl pretty sure I'm short cause failure to thrive as a baby cause of that 😭

Don't think there's any scientific backing on that tho for tof patients

Imperferated anus + colostomy bag: basically means I was born without a butthole

Not even joking on that i wasnt

But had to have three gastrointestinal surgeries from that

Don't know the ages or many details but I'm pretty sure I was two for the last one

And I had to have a colostomy bag

Thankfully don't remember it

Buy my waste went into a bag that had to be changed out

Ik it got infected so the scar is bugger than it should be

Seizures: if you've read my fanfic that's explained in detail for how it feels

But that was from aged 5-10

We never found the specific reasons for it

But we do hypothesize it has something tk do with possible scar tissue on my brain

Either from a heart attack/stroke/lack of oxygen from my second heart surgery is what we think it could be from

During a seizure my heart would start beating weird (not good description ik but idk how to describe it really) and my vision would start to tunnel out my tongue would tingle and then I'd black out

During a seizure I couldn't hear anything or see anything but my head would completely start to tingle

From my parents I was told during them I would stiffen up and lock my joints and almost seem to hyperventilate

It was control moderately well by medicine but I thankfully do not have them anymore

Hard hearing: im not like deaf or anything nor do I use hearing aids but my hearing isn't what it should be for a normal teenager lol

This is because during one of my heart surgeries they gave me a drug used on horses and a little too much if it at that (ketamine?)

Legally blind: yeah come to find out last year found out my eye sight is actual crap

Without my glasses I am legally blind

I've got 20/200 vision 😭

So I've got these crazy thick glasses now

Tourretts: neurological disorder where I make these random noises and movents

Got diagnosed back in sixth grade

My tics ate ill make various sounding noises (all kinda of variations of a hiccup for visualization) and my head will jerk back

It was awful before we found out what it was

Got picked on for it quite a bit and a certain teacher of mine essentially told me "just stop bro lol" and I'd get sent out of class for it even after we had doctor notes for it

Just get up out of that wheel chair then then buddy ☺️

They'd get set off my certain things

Music being one of them so I would carry around these earbuds when there was music around so it didn't get set off

I'm on medicine now for it and it's a LOT better

And a recent development (in the past 6 months) I've been able to listen to music again!

The tourretts aren't going away tho

If over been without medicine for more than 2 days it's BAD

Ovarian cyst (possible pcos?) : this has happened over this summer so you already got some rants on that lol

Buy I've got an 8cm cyst on my left ovary

Hurts like a beach 😃

In fact this Friday I was holed up in my room hyped up on narcotics cause of it

Fun stuff 🙂

Surgery is supposed to be on October 5th so we'll see how that goes

Yeah so medical history of mine 😃

That's fine

We'll see what comes next to the collection I can add

Also here's some pics of a couple of my scars (that I can show several are in places I'm not keen of people seeing 😅)

That's my colostomy scar

And near the top you can see a scar from a chest tube from my third heart surgery

And here's a really good picture of my heart surgery scar that I have (goes down to under the ribcage)

On my neck you can see a breathing tube scar

At least I think that's what it is

Also the corner of my lip I have a scar from some sort of tube from surgery (can't see it well on camera

Tbh idk what half these tiny scars are from

I just know they're remnants of surgery

Any way I do know kw I have a couple of other chest tube scars

But they are not in places to be shown

Same with a few dimples near my tail bone from gastrointestinal surgery

But those are there too

[cateyedfox36]

In this house we KNOW Jason Voorhees did nothing wrong

we watched Jason 2 last night- I'm sorry Friday the 13th part II is too long a title, they're about Jason being a very good boy so they're called Jason movies. Period.- and now I kinda want to watch all of them. Except that crappy one. Where he's Corey Feldman's character all grown up and he thinks he's Jason? And there's this really weird keystone cops vibe to the whole thing? Idk. That ones bad.

But the best one - besides Jason in Space and Jason vs Freddy- is the one where the kids are at camp and these children have hilarious glorious lines like "what did you want to grow up to be?" Bc they just accept that Jason is going to murder them too.

Without looking anything up, I'm pretty sure I can do all the Jason movies. Let's go:

Momma voorhees. Great sweater, excellent momBob, and you get to see Kevin Bacons Bits if you know when to pause the movie. 3.75 stars. Not funny, kinda off vibes

Jason in a bag. He's a very clumsy boy, falls off a whisker chair, is confused by a small dog (who does not die!), and is hit by a car like twice. He only kills like what 6 people on screen? And we get BEST final girl Ginny, who takes a chainsaw to our soft prince, and mind mojos him to think his momma is alive. 5 outta 5 stars! Some nice boobs, creep dies strung up like the perv his is and Jason is mu sweetest baby boi.

Behold, a hockey mask. Much better for peripheral and way more sensibly than a FUCKING BAG! Jason finds a house with stupid horny teens- or college kids? I'm never certain- and another with a newly divorced mom, her slightly sassy daughter and a young monster obsessed Corey Feldman. Pretty good kills, the dog laters out to go join a wolf pack (run by muffin obs), and Corey Feldman gives himself a bad haircut to bond with our big headed hero,Jason. 4.25 outta 5. Funny, more agile Jason, and I had no sympathy for the college idiots who died epically.

The fucking worst. I think they were trying for a Legacy Jason bc he definitely "died" in 3. So elder teen Corey Feldman thinks he's Jason and at the POORLY run TROUBLED TEEN camp he goes to someone starts killing folks. I vaguely remember the actual killer but... who cares. This is the worst. 1 star.

Again w all adulted Corey (reminder not thr actor but the character, but who bothers to remember their names?) Digs up Jason's body, it gets struck by lightning and He's Back! I think this is the one with the biker gang. And the sheriff's daughter has a taste for danger and breaks not-corey out to defeat Jason. 2.5 stars. I think there was an rv death? But a fun scene in a barn!

Jason's not dead, just napping and when he ends up in a morgue his heart infects a doctor who becomes... jason...? It's odd. You guys remember Nightmares on Elm st dream Child? I think it's like that. 2 stars. Fucked if I remember anything from this movie. This is where I get a little shaky

Jason back at camp baby! I think this is the one with the funny kids. And it's just a really straight forward slasher. No lore, no stupid shit just bad counselors getting what they deserve for not watching children. 3.9 stars. Best part is the kids

Jason on a boat. He was in Manhattan for like 10minutes. He kills a kid with a guitar, and the inside of boats are very dangerous. No lore. 3.75 stars

Is there a Jason 9? I don't fucking know but I do know there's...

Jason in SPAAAACEE! And it's amazing. A ship full of med students find Jason cryogenically frozen and a woman as well. They defrost both, murder hijinx ensue. Jason becomes a cyborg. And they completely miss shooting him into the sun. It's so stupid and so good and I love my son! 5 billion stars! Lore? Who needs lore when you've got a cyborg jason?!

Jason vsFreddy. The best team up full stop. With Jason's relentless desire to punish bad teens and Freddy's pervy ass? Forget about it. Nice lore, and the addition of seeing how happy Jason is in his death is perfection. 5 outta 5 stars. Look yes, Jason's gonna kill you, he'll have fun with it, but he won't sexually assault you while doing it.

conclusion: the middle ones suck. Skip them. Watch 2, 3, Jason in Space and Jason vs Freddy.

[clydiepie]

can I request some hcs of clyde with a reader who loves to draw him? they always doodle him in their sketchbook, in the corner of their notes, etc etc. ty!

Clyde x reader who likes to draw!

Thank you so much to everyone that has sent me requests! I will try to do them as fast as I can! I really liked this one (y'all know I love my Clyde) so I hope you like it! I used she/her pronouns since you didn't specify I hope that's okay!

Clyde Donovan x reader who liked to draw (pre-existing relationship)

She/her pronouns

baby boy clyde<3

fluffy!

cw: none!

Clyde knew you loved to draw

Whenever the two of you were together you normally had your sketchbook in hand

You were always pretty private about what you drew and you never wanted him to see, even though he was so curious

Even in class you constantly doodle on the pages of your notebook not really paying a lot of attention.

Cylde would notice you constantly stealing glances at him during the lecture but he thought it was nothing

At lunch, you sat with Clyde and his friends Craig and Tweek

"Hey babe you seemed a little distracted during class, so I got Kyle to send me a copy of his notes for you." Clyde smiled shoving a forkful of food in his mouth and chewing contently

You blushed remembering what had captured your attention during class

"Oh you didn't have to do that, I appreciate it though" You smile scooting closer to him at the lunch table

Clyde just hummed in contentment as he wrapped a strong arm around your waist

After your last class was done you met Clyde by your locker where he always waited for you

You gathered your things and Clyde wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you both walked toward the front doors

But just before you could reach the door Butters came running around the corner and knocked your books out of your hands making papers fly everywhere.

Butters starts to profusely apologize rambling on about how Cartman needed him quickly for some scheme

You tell him it's no worries as you bend over to collect your things

You look down at the ground to see Clyde has already started to gather the papers that had flown every which way

You see his face turn a dark shade of red as he examines a particular piece of paper. the one you just so happened to be doodling on in class

He looks up at your embarrassed face and asks "Is this me?"

"Ha um yeah.." you explain shyly as you rub the back of your neck

He calmly stands up and folds the paper into a square and sticks it in his pocket

Before you can ask what he was doing he spoke up again

"I'm keeping this, I hope you don't mind." he smiles and hands you all the other paper he gathered

"You don't think it's weird." you laugh

"Not at all, I think it's cute you're obsessed with me." He smirks putting his hands on your waist and drawing you in close

"Don't let this go to your head." you giggle

"Too late." he mumbles before pulling you in for a kiss

I also think after his he would want to look at your art all the time

Like all of it even the stuff not about him or stuff you think is "bad"

He is without a doubt your number 1 fan for sure

I can imagine him standing in a Micheals craft sore for an hour trying to pick out a good gift for you

"Fine tip? what does that even mean?" he would mumble to himself

He also defiantly brags to all his friends about your talent

"Guys Y/N drew this sketch yesterday, isn't she so talented?' he would gush

He is definitely the type to go behind your back and swipe some pieces to put in his locker

In between classes, he liked a little reminder of you to look at (but when you found out he had stolen your art you defiantly let him have it)

One day he was at his locker with the boys and Cartman had dared to make a comment about the goofy sketch you had made for fun taped up in Clyde's locker

"Dude, what is that?" Cartman laughed pointing at the picture

"Y/N drew that for me so shut the fuck me." Clyde barked

On your anniversary Clyde tried his hardest to draw something nice for you, he tried to draw the two of you together on your first date.

"Oh it's so cute...what is it?" you sheepishly laughed

"It's us! can't you tell?" he huffed, his face as red as his coat

"Ohhhh I see it now." you smile at him, taking his hand in yours

After that, he vowed to take an art class next year so maybe one day he could draw you something not so shitty

If any of your art was ever displayed anywhere Clyde would hype you up to no end

"My girlfriend is so talented." he beamed at you with pride looking at a piece you made hung up

"Clyde it's just on your fridge." you laughed

"Hey, that's a place of honor babe."

------------

I hope you liked that! I kinda got carried away but I just liked his prompt so much!!! Have a great day!!!

-M<3

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

One to Five (WIP Tag)

tagged by: @kaylinalexanderbooks thank you (and don't mind me while I'm clearing out my notifications and likes XD)

tagging: Open Tag and soft tagging @sarahlizziewrites | @odysseywritings | @ink-fireplace-coffee | @sleepyowlwrites | @words-after-midnight | @lawful-evil-novelist | @sam-glade | @drabbleitout | @rhikasa | @oh-no-another-idea | @anthros-vintas-archive

I'm going to do The City is Ours for this one because I'm currently thinking about it :). Under the cut because it got LONG XD.

One word to describe your wip:

Chaos. That's chaos with a capital C in bold letters.

Two lines that are your favorite:

No, don't make my choose between my babies! Ok as of right now reading back over the stuff I've written, here's two I love:

(Kylee's POV) They quickly shut down her phone in horror, hoping that the cutoff of signal would be enough. She covered their mouth, stifling a sob of- well, a lot of things.

(Asher's POV) Asher bit his lip, everything in him screaming to not let Damian go back into that horde of gangsters alone and undercover. It was so incredibly dangerous even he wouldn’t do that or allow one of his teammates to do that.

Three times you cried while writing:

I don't cry while I'm writing, I just laugh evily >:D. So instead, here are some times that my readers will scream and cry and curse my name into the wind :)))

When Asher's boyfriend Damian is revealed to be the anti-hero vigilante working for the super villians/Damian's cover gets blown and the supervillains torture him and live stream it back to the heroes :D

When the Snow Queen's identity is revealed and it's someone the heroes know very well :)))

The details of Chase's backstory and his mom being revealed in canon :)))

Four excerpts of feelings from your characters:

1. (Damian's POV) Asher asked, “How did you get burned? I didn’t see you get injured during that fight.” Wincing a bit as he shifted, Damian explained, “I’m sure it was an accident, Jason hit me with a fireball. It’s weird though, no goons or anybody was anywhere near me, so he missed by a long shot-” Asher’s eyes widened, and he jumped up, storming out into the hall. “Jason!” The hallway filled with angry yelling, mostly Asher cussing him out in Spanish.

2. (V's POV) The prison transport rumbled through the city streets, escorted by two cop cars front and back. All of them were handcuffed with chains leading to the floor. All eight of them were sat shoulder to shoulder, and either glared at each other or avoided gazes entirely. They’d taken Kylee’s phone and since she was handcuffed, she just glared at people or stared out the tiny barred window. The tech genius or hacker- Chase, V remembered his name being- was nervously picking at his fingers until they bled. Then he spoke, voice so quiet the others almost missed it. “They’re gonna try to take off our masks aren’t they?” The one with ice powers- V never caught their name- said, “Well shit.” Finally, everyone was looking at each other without glaring or itching to start bickering. No one could see their faces, and cops were especially a no-go.

3. (Asher's POV) The others were currently outside keeping Boss Lady and her cronies occupied, leaving the building mostly defenseless. Asher had taken care of the remaining goons pretty quickly, and probably given them permanent blindness from the bright flash of his powers. He usually never went that far but… Well, this was his boyfriend they were talking about. “Are you sure he’s here?” Asher asked, blood rushing in his ears and an icy hand closing around his heart. “I’ve been tracking the movements in and out of this building for a while now,” Chase said, “And I also hacked the cameras for some… footage… that I don’t think you want to see.” Asher swallowed and nodded. If that horrifying live stream they’d seen was any indication… Well, he didn’t want to know how bad it’d gotten in the couple days it had taken to scour the city for where they were keeping Damian. 

4. (Chase's POV) Kylee let out a frustrated huff, “That’s too long.” “Not my problem,” Chase shrugged. There was a rush of air, and the remote was gone from its spot where Chase had left it. They set down their project and jumped up, letting out a slew of Romanian curses. “HEY! KYLEE YOU LITTLE-!” They whipped around and found Kylee standing on the other side of the room. She held the remote and twirled it mockingly with two fingers and stuck her tongue out at him with a smirk.

Five Tropes featured:

Found Family BUT they're all dumbasses

Enemies AND Lovers/It's Complicated and Lovers

Chaotic teenagers with superpowers

Villain arcs, villain redemption arcs, and a villain arc INTO a redemption arc

Tragic hero(es)

~

TCIO Taglist: @friendlyneighborhood-writer @jessica-writes22 @rose-bookblood @yejidoesthings @space-writes @cljordan-imperium (send me a message to be +/- from the taglist <3)

[altschmerzes]

So, i just saw a post that showed a young Phil Dunster (buddyjuststop/729422574417854464/ok-but-consider-vvv-this-is-phil-dunster-when-he) and it got me thinking of your baby jamie au and how you perceive him. What hair styles doe he have, is he still walnut mist? Does he keep it natural, is it short? Does he have head bands?What does he wear? Obvsly,He's not flashy like canon, is he low key teen angst? Does he secretly have a roy shirt? I need your views please.

YEAH IVE SEEN THAT PICTURE it breaks my brain a little bit bc that'd be about ~3-ish years older than jamie is when wriggle up on dry land starts. i had a similar brain-breaking experience when my little cousin's family was in town with his soccer team of 15 year olds and i was sitting there watching them play periodically being struck by like 'oh my gd they're jamie's age in the baby jamie au..... this is nuts'

this is such a fascinating question thank you!! it's interesting bc i often don't like. picture characters much, i skew pretty hard into aphantasia. i can't like. i do not have Images in my head generally. i CAN conjure images but they're extremely brief, often vague, change without my intention, and are very hard to hang onto, even when i'm actively gripping them in both hands. so it's often difficult for me to describe things, or remember to describe things. it's something i've been working on! every bit of visual description in my writing is there bc i worked very hard to make sure there was some there.

THAT SAID. i do have thoughts on this. i think his hair at the moment is its natural colour and about the length it is in season 1! he doesn't do much with it yet, at least not most days, though he's picky about how it looks. a lot of his style is very muted and subdued, the way we saw it get when he went back to manchester - a lot of black and grey and white. this is impacted both by the fact that he lives at home with his father and isn't really in a situation where he can express himself in his personal presentation, and because he's got extremely limited spending money. given that he wears a uniform to school and has a work jacket he wears at work, he doesn't often have a lot of say in what he wears either. lot of hoodies, outside of work and school. Typical Teen Garb.

(he has a tendency towards borrowing things from his kidgang friends. they made fun of him for it a bit at first and then noticed he immediately stopped doing it, and that felt weird and a bit sad, so they simply don't bring it up now. slowly, he started doing it again, and now like. a quarter of his regularly worn shirts and jackets are things that don't actually belong to him.)

one of the main points of individuality and personality he has in the way he dresses and presents himself is his shoes. he's got battered old converse style sneakers that he loves and has doodled all over the rubber strip of - stars, as mentioned in his intro in the fic. and he has brightly coloured shoelaces that he replaces whenever he finds new ones he likes. they're bright neon yellow now. jamie also doesn't have his ears pierced yet. This Will Be A Plot Point In The Future.

(he 1000% secretly has a roy shirt. probably more than one. he's hidden it away somewhere but he won't get rid of it. he chooses not to think too hard about it.)

[barry-j-blupjeans]

15 seems to really fit blup+Taako and 27 seems to fit taakitz really well. maybe it's basic but that's me baby!!!! can I get one of those? dealer's choice.

15. “I see how you look at my sister”

--

Taako's had a few weird fucking weeks. The whole... thing with Sazed had been- yikes. No fun. He was trying not to think about it too much, but he couldn't stop replaying the scene when he closed his eyes. Finishing the dish. Saying a funny little quip. Lup had made an even funnier quip back but, for some reason, the response had slipped from his mind. Instead, all that really stuck with Lup pulling his arm back as he went to give out the first sample, hard enough for him to drop the entire platter, and saying,

"Don't fucking serve that."

Seeing his sister die wasn't- like it wasn't great, okay? And seeing her red ghost Casper-looking soul rise from her body wasn't ideal either, to be honest! There had been a moment when the crowd had descended into complete and utter silence. Then, someone came running back with a doctor and the world split into noise again. People, pointing, some screaming, the doctor rushing up to the stage, and Lup- Lup speaking straight static into his ears, unmoving from over her body.

Yeah, it's been fucking wild out here.

And Taako had to admit, it could have been a lot worse! It could have been a whole lot worse. Lup could have properly died and not turned into a ghost. Taako could have died, which would have been equally bad or even worse, considering Lup had informed him that he would not, in fact, also turn into a ghost. Sazed had gotten away, sure, but at least Taako wasn't being blamed for Lup's death or the almost-death forty people.

But still. If you had asked Taako a few weeks ago where he'd imagine himself being in a few weeks' time, he would have probably said something like vacation, or more touring. Instead, he was sitting in a cold, damp cave, twisting his Stone of Farspeech to match with a new frequency. Overhead, Lup's spectral form was in a deep conversation with another, slightly smaller, floating red-robed ghost. Taako, frankly, could not wrap his head around their conversation and had stopped trying.

"Taako!" Lup said. Taako looked up. "I've called your name like, five times, dingus."

"I thought you were still doing static stuff," Taako said. "What's up?"

"I gotta go get a new blood processor for the tank," Lup said. "Wanna come?"

"Uhh, no, I'm good," Taako said, remembering where they had gotten the last part of the tank from. It took two whole days to get the gunk off his boots. "Have fun."

"Don't be too mean to Barry," Lup said. "I'll be back in a bit."

Don't be too mean to the floating red ghost that is reanimating you a new body. Right. Sure. Lup disappeared in a flash of flames and Taako and Barry stared at each other for a second before Taako turned away again.

It's not like they didn't get along, it was just... weird. Awkward. It had been bad enough having Lup speak in static but as soon as they found Barry, that's pretty much what all conversations turned into. Taako kind of felt like he was third-wheeling.

Actually, scratch that, he was definitely third-wheeling. He wanted to know where the fuck Lup knew this guy from but apparently, the truth would "break his brain" or some bullshit like that.

Still, he felt like he was missing a chapter or two. Or maybe the whole book. Taako didn't know this guy from Adam, but Lup was like- in love with him? It was obvious he was in love with Lup, at least. And it's not like he was gonna talk about it because when he brought it up to the two of them, they tried to pretend like there wasn't some sort of romance happening. Except that he had known Lup his whole life, so she obviously couldn't lie to him, and Barry-

Barry was awkward and weird. He gave off the distinct air that he knew Taako, though he couldn't say from where and they both explained it away with "big fish" and "Lucretia." Taako didn't know a Lucretia. All he knew is that 1) his sister was dead and 2) this guy was a huge fucking nerd.

"So, uh," Barry said. "Nice weather we're having."

"No," Taako said.

"Y- yeah, alright," Barry said. Taako turned, setting his Stone aside.

"Listen, my man," Taako said. "Explain to me the situation to me one more time."

"Well, uh." Barry cleared his non-existent throat. "Which part exactly?"

"The "you and Lup" part," Taako said.

"That's a- a pretty big part, d'you wanna narrow it down a little, or-"

"Barry," Taako said. "You- you and Lup can not tell me stuff or speak in TV static or whatever, but I'm gonna give it to you straight: I have seen how you look at my sister." Barry spluttered. "Like I might be dumb, but I'm not that dumb. My intelligence modifier could be in the negatives and I would still know."

"I mean-"

"Barryyy," Taako said. "The truth, Barry."

"I just, like-"

"Barry," Taako said again. "D'you want me to do a perception check, because I will-"

"We just figured that it'd be easier to, uh, not tell you yet?" Barry said. "Like, obviously this whole situation is gonna be kinda weird for you but Lup and me being ma- ...interested in each other isn't gonna help you any. So we just kinda- we kinda wanted to-"

"Why the fuck would you think that you two being in love is the worst thing to tell me right now," Taako said, slamming his hands on the ground. Barry's form jumped. "I saw Lup fucking die and I'm watching her body grow in a goddamn Nickelodeon slime tank, like- that is not the worst thing to happen to me in the past few weeks. I could literally not care less."

"We didn't want to overwhelm you," Barry said weakly.

"Well I'm pretty overwhelmed, so you might as well!" Taako said. Barry looked like he wanted to say something at that, but just kind of floated aimlessly in place. Taako sat back against the wall, bringing his knees up to his chest. He took a deep breath.

"Can I, uhm... help explain anything to you?" Barry said. "To make it, uhm, less overwhelming."

Taako sighed. Yeah, there were lots of things he'd like an explanation on. Why did Lup turn into a ghost? Why wasn't he able to understand the static? Why did he feel like he could trust Barry even though they only just met? Did they meet before, actually? Is that where Lup knew him from? If so, why didn't Taako remember? Exactly how much Fantasy Ibuprofen did he need to take to get rid of the headache that he has had for the past three whole weeks?

"Yeah, I've got a question," Taako said, sitting up.

"Yeah?" Barry said.

"Yeah," Taako said. "I gotta know what you look like because like, no offense, but Lup tends to pick out fucking weirdos, and the only person I can picture when thinking about you is Tom Arnold."

[pollstuck]

Alright these fuckers are Done and Named. And while i'm sure they all have meaningful introductions and an intricate web of relationship dynamics that we could spend hours poring over. I do not have that kind of time.

Everyone skips to act 5 act 1? We're Skipping act 5 act 1.

Uno reverse card bitch.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

EB: hey flighty! TT: Hi. EB: how are you doing? i don't even remember the last time we talked. EB: i have been so busy. EB: and it looks like you have been too. EB: i mean, hopy shit! EB: my house is HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE! TT: Actually, building up your house has been one of the more trivial ways I've passed the time. TT: Great swaths of the structure may be copied and pasted with little architectural consideration. TT: I've only bothered to do so while in contemplation. TT: It's relaxing. EB: oh. EB: well, it must have cost a fortune! TT: We have a lot of grist. EB: how much? TT: I don't recall any hard figures off hand. TT: Last I checked, more than a million units of several different types. TT: Torrented between the three of us. TT: After I unlocked the disc from your registry and deployed it. TT: I convinced your nanna to install it on your computer. TT: Before an imp threw it out the window, that is. EB: you got her to do that? but she's an old lady! also, a ghost. TT: My methods of persuasion have been improving. EB: also! EB: what's up with the alchemiter? EB: it looks weird. TT: Upgrades. EB: did you get nanna to do that too? TT: No, your consorts were utilized for that. EB: the salamanders?? TT: Yes. They seem eager to receive simple instruction. TT: I'm guessing they find their way back to your house to allow the client player to remain productive while the server player is away. EB: yeah… EB: uh… EB: what have you been doing this whole time??? TT: Why don't you tell me what you've been up to first? TT: I've been curious, but too preoccupied to inquire. EB: well, EB: i have been talking to a lot of trolls, for one thing. EB: they sure are a talkative bunch! TT: I've noticed. EB: and then i cloned some slime babies in the veil. TT: Did you? EB: yes. um… EB: ok, long story short is, farmstink is my slime clone sister, and insufferable is your slime clone brother, and we were all born today! TT: Yes. EB: yes? TT: I figured that out. EB: oh. TT: Anything else? EB: umm… EB: then i fell asleep, and woke up on the battlefield. EB: now stop being so spookily mysterious and tell me what you've been doing! TT: Investigating, mostly. EB: investigating what? TT: Everything there is to investigate. TT: Information hidden in the lore of our lands, concealed in ruins and riddles. TT: I'm looking for whatever there is to discover about the game, and more importantly, whatever exceeds its boundaries. TT: The cloaked traces of myth beyond its scope. EB: its scope? EB: oh, flighty, did you know that we are supposed to be creating a universe with this game? TT: Yes. EB: i think that's pretty neat! TT: It is, in principle. TT: But it won't happen. EB: so you believe the trolls then? TT: It's not a matter of believing them. TT: The writing is on the wall. Literally. EB: it is? TT: This session was never meant to bear fruit. TT: It's barren, so to speak. EB: that's a bit of a bummer! EB: i am still skeptical about that, though. TT: That's why you're our leader, Zoosmell. EB: huh? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with. EB: that's stupid. EB: i'm not your leader, i am your FRIEND, there is a BIG difference! TT: Statements like that are also why you're our leader. EB: pff. EB: laaaaaaaame. TT: Yes, kind of. EB: so, if you're sure that we are going to fail… EB: what is the point of everything we're doing? TT: Simple. TT: The objective is no longer to win. EB: um… EB: i mean, what are we actually shooting for here? TT: To do as much damage to the game as possible. TT: To rip its stitches and pry answers from the seams. TT: We will snatch purpose from the jaws of futility. TT: Are you ready to wreak some havoc, Zoosmell? EB: i suddenly don't understand anything.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

GA: Okay This Will Probably Strike You As An Odd Moment For Me To Mention This GA: But Actually GA: There Are Not Many Moments Ive Observed On Your Timeline Which Wouldnt Qualify As Odd GA: And Somehow GA: Your Idle Moments Seem To Invite Interruption The Least GA: And This Is A Difficult Topic For Me To Broach GA: For Reasons That You Probably Wont Understand TT: You're rambling again, Queer. GA: Okay Sorry GA: Ive Just Been Meaning To Say GA: That I Read Your Instructional Guide

TT: Oh? GA: Yeah TT: Sorry to hear you were subjected to that. GA: Why TT: It was a little melodramatic in retrospect. Heavy-handed. TT: Have you ever written a message you regretted instantly upon sending? GA: Lately GA: Almost Perpetually TT: That line included? GA: Wow Yeah Kind Of GA: Also GA: That One TT: I'm sure you must regard the walkthrough as pretty quaint. GA: Actually GA: At The Time Of Reading It Lent Some Useful Insight GA: Into The Nature Of The Game I Hadnt Yet Considered TT: At the time? TT: When exactly did you read it? GA: Uh GA: By The Way GA: What Are You Doing Here GA: Is This Part Of Your Ongoing Investigation

TT: Yes. GA: Are These Tactics Really Necessary TT: It's faster this way. TT: If there's one thing you and your friends regularly remind us, it's that time is not on our side. GA: I Know GA: But I Thought Our Methods Earlier Were Effective TT: My current strategy is comprehensive. TT: Your notes have been helpful, but the facts you've supplied are being cross-referenced with understandings I already have, and data gathered by the sort of means presently on display. GA: But These Means Presently On Display GA: Are Making Me A Little Nervous GA: I Think Its Kind Of A Reckless Use Of GA: Influence By The Gods From The Furthest Ring GA: The Communion You Seem To Have Developed With Them I Find Kind Of Troubling TT: I don't think they are as nefarious as you might imagine. TT: Many of them seem to be intent on helping us. GA: How Exactly Do You Know That TT: From their whispers in my dreams. GA: How Much Time Have You Really Spent Sleeping GA: Since You Began Playing TT: Not much. TT: But quite a lot in a failed timeline. TT: And now and then, memories surface from that alternate reality. TT: They spoke to me in my sleep and told me much of what I needed to know. TT: Including what to do to reset our timeline and create the present reality. GA: That Makes Me No Less Nervous TT: I have assurances I'm on the right track. TT: Surely you must have spoken to the gods by now. TT: What did they tell you to make you so suspicious? GA: Actually GA: I Havent GA: I Have Never Visited Derse Or Traveled Beyond The Veil GA: Prospits Moon Was My Home TT: It was? GA: Yes TT: This surprises me. GA: Why TT: … TT: Good question. GA: Skaia Was Always The Foil For My Curiosity GA: But It Only Showed Me What I Needed To See GA: It Very Much Had The Presence Of Something Sentient GA: And GA: Benevolent GA: But Silent GA: Not Something To Converse With Or Be Instructed By GA: I Always Trusted It GA: And I Dont Trust Gods That Would Eschew Its Light TT: You didn't actually answer my question. TT: When was it exactly that you read my walkthrough?

GA: Oh GA: A While Ago GA: Why Dont You Put The Turtle Ruins Down GA: And Return To Your House GA: I Have Sketched Some New Outfits For You That I Think Are Nice GA: We Could Try To Make Them GA: It Will Be Fun TT: You seem to have taken quite an interest in my wardrobe decisions. TT: Are all trolls so fashion-minded? GA: Urrgh No GA: Sadly TT: Maybe later. GA: What If There Isnt A Later TT: Well, we already know there won't be. TT: That's nothing new. GA: I Mean GA: There Not Being A Later Might Happen Sooner Than You Think TT: Wow, what? GA: I Mean GA: For You Specifically GA: Okay GA: This Was Something Else I Wanted To Say GA: Or Ask About GA: But Im Afraid My Asking Might Play A Role In The Outcome GA: And I Dont Know If I Want That

TT: The outcome will happen one way or another. TT: Whether you have something to do with it or not. TT: You might as well ask me. GA: Um TT: I have a question for you too. TT: Let's swap ignorance, ok? GA: Alright GA: I Cant See You In The Future GA: The Viewport Wont Let Me After A Certain Point GA: Its Black GA: But Only For You GA: Not The Others TT: When? GA: Several Hours From Now GA: Do You Know Why This Could Be TT: I have no idea. TT: I can't see the future. TT: But I promise that if I have a hand in it, it won't be because you told me. TT: Does that make you feel better? GA: Sort Of GA: But It Remains Ominous TT: Is that why you want to dissuade me from my admittedly zealous investigation to go play dress-up again? TT: Because our time here is almost up? GA: Also Sort Of TT: That's thoughtful of you. GA: What Was Your Question GA: I Believe Youre Owed Some Compensatory Ignorance TT: Yes. TT: I was wondering.

TT: What do you know about the Green Sun? GA: Ive Never Heard Of It TT: Thank you. TT: The transaction was very tidy. GA: Agreed

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Patton Darling Heart (1/2)

—-

How can a mortal baby befriend four fae courts, their leaders and their queens in less than five years? How does said baby grow up with such a strange family? Well...

Patton Heart knew he wasn't like the rest of his family, he also knew that his situation was an unorthodox one. He also knew that one family wanted him and the other didn't, so to be honest, Patton was pretty happy with his weird and wonderful life.

----

| Ao3 | Next -> |

Warnings: nothing explicit, but some bad parenting is implied. A couple of mentions of murder and execution, again, not explicit. If there's anything else I should add please lmk

Pairings: all platonic

Word Count: 5909

Notes:

Yes, this is the fic where Patton reverse-adopts all of the fae. have fun!

Part of my New Years verse, which is what I'm going back to calling it because the other name was kinda shit tbh, this is a backstory fic so you don't need to read the other ones for this one to make sense!

I also have an Ask Blog for my aus too! So you can ask my characters from this series and my others random crap too :D

I hope you enjoy!

----

There are some bad people in this world. Patton knew this from a very young age.

Patton knew that the people who raised him were not his real family. They were also not the kind of people to soften the truth, so he knew that his real family hadn’t wanted him.

He knew that they had swapped him like a piece of junk at a yard sale for a baby they considered better, he was aware that he didn’t grow up in the same way as most of his kind, and he knew this well even by the age of four.

And you might be thinking, what a poor child, to be left in a mortal household by the cruel fae! Right? Because that’s the usual story, well maybe it was, but Patton knew better than most that mortals could be just as cruel.

Because Patton was a mortal, not fae, and his mortal parents were the cruel ones, but really Patton wasn’t qualified to tell this story, because it all happened when he was far too young to remember…

—

It was a particularly cold evening in January when a group of faeries lead by some summer gentry who’s name Imari- Lord Winter, to you- couldn’t remember burst into his court unannounced. Immediately he was suspicious, because the summer gentry tended to avoid him at all cost during his season, he could identify maybe one winter fae in the small group as well as an autumn who looked so scrawny that she barely compared, the rest of the fae were Seelie and the gentry held a small bundle tightly in zir arms.

“What is the meaning of this?” Imari asked, keeping his tone level, contrary to popular belief he didn’t actually want to scare the Seelie, especially the ones willing to come into his court. 

“We don’t mean anything by the intrusion,” The summer announced, shifting the bundle ze held, “We just- um- have a situation, that we’re not sure exactly how we should go about dealing with, and we concluded it best to come to you before acting beyond what we already have…”

Imari couldn’t help how he became more curious by the moment as to what on earth was going on, so he asked as much.

“Well!” A spring pixie piped up, her voice high pitched and glowing wings flittering as she hovered next to the summer, “We were just out in the woods makin’ sure the trees an’ the plants were all ok after all that snow last night and- well-”

“Two mortals,” The autumn took over, “Summoned us, with cream and fruits, and, well I suppose we’re lucky Mari was there because-”

“They tried to… reverse changeling us…” The winter finished, looking a little concerned as they crossed their arms.

“I don’t understand,” Imari said, standing up, “Reverse changeling?”

“That’s all we can think to call it,” The summer sighed, turning the bundle in zir arms so Imari could see what it was… a tiny mortal child, pink in the face with big blue eyes looking up at him, “They- made a deal. Gave us their child in return for one of ours- and- well obviously we had to take it when they practically forced their poor child into my arms-”

“They said they would have left it in the woods otherwise!” The spring pixie said, “It wouldn’t have survived-”

“We didn’t think such a small child deserved such a fate-” Said the winter.

“So I gave up my own child in return,” The autumn finished, voice quiet. 

“How old is it?” Imari asked, looking from the tiny child to the summer who held it. ze sighed.

“We’re not sure, sire,” ze said, “But- as a guess- it has been in this world barely two weeks,”

“Mortals can be so cruel…” Imari said, looking down at the tiny child in the Summer’s arms and feeling nothing but disdain for the mortals who would so readily give him away, “I will never cease to be surprised by their hatred for life, you said you gave your child in return?”

“Yes, Lord,” The autumn said, bowing her head, “My son who’s been on this earth not yet a year, He was not born to be a changeling, but I knew he would serve to give them hell.”

“What season?” He asked.

“Spring, Lord.” She answered.

“I shall speak with the Lord of Spring to ensure that he is able to safely return to you should he wish,” Imari said.

“There is no need, sire,” The autumn told him, standing tall despite her ragged form, “Jay will handle it, they are strong, he is more than capable of teaching those mortals the lesson they deserve for their cruelty.”

Imari paused for a minute, she really did believe in her child. If that was the case then he wouldn’t interfere. She seemed to prefer to let it take its own course. 

“Did they give you a name for this child?” Imari asked instead, turning back to the summer, who recoiled slightly, zir expression immediately suspicious, “I do not intend any harm to the mortal child, I am simply curious as to whether he has one.”

“They did give me a name,” The summer said, shifting awkwardly, “They called him Patton.”

—-

By nature, Winter got first claim to the child. Patton had been born in its season, after all, and to the fae that is how it worked. 

Unfortunately, and the reason it was a debate at all, Patton was not fae and the other courts seemed to feel they had reason to keep the child as well.

Summer because Marigold, the summer gentry, had been the one to make the deal in the first place, and thus by right the child belonged to zem.

Spring because one of their own had been given up in exchange for the child, so they believed themselves entitled to the mortal child if this were to be a fair trade. 

And Autumn felt entitled to the child only because one of their fae had been the one to give up a child for the deal, so they wanted the new child for compensation.

It was madness throughout fairyland at first, when word spread about the mortal child and the unorthodox deal. No-one really knew who should have the child or where he belonged. By fae law, all of them had some right, and no Lord or Lady was about to back down to the others. 

Which is why only a week after Patton was given to Imari, Lord of Winter, the Unseelie Queen- it being her domain for the remainder of winter- called for a meeting between the four High Fae of Season in order to settle this dispute. She ordered that they should settle it even through bloodshed, should it end up necessary, but it was to be settled tonight.

They had been sitting at this table for hours, each of the four practically campaigning to be the one who keeps the child. They were all tired by now, despite new refreshments being brought in every hour on the hour. They had gotten nowhere by arguing and every hour they got closer to midnight and with it the idea of this despite being settled by battle. 

That is until Harley- Lord of Spring- stood from his seat and placed his hands on the table. He spoke calmly, cutting through the argument being held currently between Ladies Summer and Autumn.

“If you will be inclined to listen,” Harley spoke smoothly, “I believe I have a suggestion for a solution that may work for us all.”

“Right,” Ember- The Autumn Lady- said with a sigh, sitting back in her chair, “At this point I’ll hear you out, flower boy, just this once.”

“If it’ll stop all of this senseless arguing.” Said Rhaine, Lady Summer, with a sharp side eye at Ember, “Then I’m happy to listen.”

“Good!” Harley smiled after Imari had nodded, “So, I remembered only a short while ago there was a certain custom mortals partook in, primarily when two parents of a child had split and were unsure as to who should keep the child- but I think it can be applied to our situation as well.”

“Spit it out,” Ember groaned, picking at her nails, “I don’t have all day to sit around listening to you ramble about stupid mortal customs.”

“Right, of course,” Harley said, waving a hand, “In such a situation mortals may… I think the term used is ‘share custody’ of the child, meaning they live separately and the child will stay with one parent for a certain time before staying with the other parent for a certain time, I thought perhaps we could employ this strategy and have the child stay with each of us during our own season, and then pass him to the next court when the seasons change.”

“That-” Rhaine said, before pausing, “Actually may work out, you’ve outdone yourself this time, Lee.”

“I hate to disagree with what seems like a wonderful idea,” Imari said quietly, “But surely moving around so much would put strain on the child? I am aware mortals are fragile…”

“Considering it would only be four moves a year,” Harley said, “And he will be spending roughly three mortal months in each court, presuming each will provide him a safe environment-”

The room seemed to turn on Ember for a second, who frowned.

“-It should not be too stressful for the child,” Harley said, before beginning to pace as he continued to explain, “It is beneficial that there was at least one member of each court present when the deal is made, because it means that the little flower will be familiar with a faerie from each court to a small degree, which will help him to settle in, perhaps I could suggest that all four of us become familiar with the child during the next few months so that the moves aren't too daunting for any of us?”

“I think this could work,” Ember said, a little begrudgingly. The others hummed in agreement.

“Then it is settled,” Imari said, “We will follow Harley’s plan.”

—-

The first two years of the child’s life were mostly uneventful. 

Luckily, Harley knew enough about mortals to instruct the other fae lords in caring for the child adequately, though it had been a surprise to all of them how… stupid, human babies were for the first few years of life.

The Lord of Spring was happy that he got to care for the child for the first few months, mainly because he was terribly worried about how Summer and Autumn would treat them (though he wouldn’t say such a thing out loud, he didn’t want to end up in a fight). Caring for the child at least got him time to learn about what mortal babies needed- he was the expert on the topic of mortals, after all.

Fae children tended to be easy to care for. Mostly they could eat anything, especially nymphs and green men, but mortal children were surprisingly picky, too much or not enough of certain things could result in damage and some things- or parts of things- they couldn’t have at all. Harley couldn’t count the amount of times just in the first week that he’d had to chase away well-intentioned but wildly mis-informed fae who kept trying to feed the poor dear things he couldn’t consume- either yet or not at all. 

Fae children, also, were much more independent much earlier in their development. They were able to run around and start using their powers and start talking- those who could- very early on. Some skipped childhood altogether and appeared to the world fully grown, some stayed children for far longer than a mortal would. It was just the way fae… were. Patton grew steadily though, as human aging was linear, and quickly. 

By the time the solstice came and with it the passing of the child from Spring to Summer, Patton was crawling around already and had managed to endear himself to the vast majority of the spring fae, so Harley deemed this season a roaring success. 

When Patton returned to him the next spring, he had grown so much that Harley barely recognised him. 

He had known, somewhere in his mind, that humans aged much faster than fae did. Humans were mortal, living their lives in what was to fae a mere blink in time. Patton had gotten bigger and stronger, enough to barely start walking (Imari had informed him that some of the Winter fae had started attempting to teach the child to walk in the last few weeks of winter). Patton had grown much more hair now, blond curls that tickled his chin. His eyes were still that brilliant blue that had been before, his smile still just as bright and happy. But the changes were still… startling. 

At least the other fae in the court seemed to love the sweetheart just as much as he did. They’d thrown a revel that lasted three days straight on the equinox and the following days, to celebrate not only the changing of the seasons (which was always celebrated anyway, but never this dramatically) but also Patton’s return to their court. Harley wasn’t certain that the child could quite appreciate the effort they had all put into such a party, being barely a year old. Harley brought him to experience the celebrations regardless, where he was decorated in flower crowns and bracelets and pretty trinkets, Harley had never in his long, immortal life, seen such frivolous giving of gifts from fellow fae, but a little part of it told him that Patton’s smiles were… and would always be… exchange enough for whatever treasures the other fae wished to bestow upon him.

—-

It should come as no surprise that Harley wished to know how Patton was faring in the other courts as well. The first year had been near torture as he forced himself to wait his turn, leaving the others to care for the human child as he had said they should.

This year, as Harley had seen Patton grow up so quickly without him being there for any of it, he couldn’t quite help himself but to check up on him.

He didn’t even really want to hand Patton off to Rhaine when summer began, Patton had said his first words by now, he’d started walking- properly walking now- and laughing, he’d even been able to play with some of the pixies who were present for the deal and fae children who were willing to compromise their own abilities for his sake. Harley didn’t think he could stand not seeing Patton for another three seasons and having him come back in spring twice the size. 

It seemed, funnily, that he wasn’t the only one who thought this. 

When the midsummer celebrations came arond at the height of july, all three other fae lords - and some representatives from each court - arrived by their own volition, none of them invited. Even Imari had braved the heat of high summer to attend. 

Rhaine might have been offended had she not been feeling the exact same way throughout the other seasons, and it was lovely to see that the summer court was just as exuberent about Patton as his own, possibly even more - summer was known for it’s passion, after all. They had all agreed rather quickly that they’d do something similar for Midwinter, as well as Beltane in the spring and Samhein in autumn. 

During Midsummer Harley had danced with Patton alongside some other children from summer who’d avoided such an activity after being told it could harm the little mortal flower, who’s mind and body were both far more delicate than any fae. Harley’s seelie magic wouldn’t be too much for the child, though, he could control it like second nature, Patton hadn’t been hurt, and afterwards had managed to co-erce all four fae lords to join in a circle to dance with him and the summer court. Harley couldn’t remember ever having so much fun before. 

—-

Another year passed and now Patton was two years old.  Harley knew by faerie standards that was hardly long at all, but to humans… was two years in their world a milestone? He wasn’t sure, thought what he was sure about was that Patton’s quick growth made him painfully aware of the passage of time. 

Where before he had glided through the years like a pond skater across water, coasting through and responding to problems as they seemed to come, barely aware that time was passing at all, now he was horribly aware of every second. Every passing minute, day, month, that Patton got older, such a short life that could just flash by if he so much as blinked. Moments he would miss if he looked away. Harley wasn’t scared by many things, but the way he could see Patton’s life flashing before his eyes, as he giggled and talked nonsense with a small gaggle of fae, some pixies and some nymph children, a kelpie child and a sentient wisp of smoke that seemed to enjoy playing hide and seek with the children, he could see that barely toddler as a child, a teen, an adult, hunched over in old age, and finally… Harley didn’t want to think about what came next.

Instead he did what he could. He blessed Patton with the gift of health, a strong heart and strong body that could carry him right through to his death, he touched a finger over Patton’s heart as he gave it and the brush of his hands left the tiniest pattern of freckles shaped as flowers in it’s wake.

The other seasons seemed to notice what he had done, and before he had even lived four years, the mortal child had four gifts. Strength from Spring, beauty from Summer, a power that allowed him to send others to sleep from Autumn and from Winter the power of memories. 

—-

Rhaine had absolutely no idea what she was doing. 

Okay, to be fair, when Harley spoke about mortal customs she tended to doze off and ignore him, sue her, he was boring, Ember would agree. 

But she would admit that in this instance perhaps it would have been more helpful to have listened. 

Patton- the darling mortal child he was- had been talking about ‘human school’ since he found out that it existed. Which was- fine. The flower was human and probably needed to learn human things that they wouldn’t be able to teach him. ‘They’ excluded Harley, because he seemed to know just about everything about mortals, for some reason he found them interesting enough to study. 

All throughout Summer he had been talking about it and gushing about how he was supposed to be going now that he was five years old. As much as Ember liked to tease her about not being able to say no to the mortal child she knew that Ember would barely have been able to say no either. 

Rhaine liked mortals, she was seelie of course, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be entirely surrounded and outnumbered by them. There was a slight difference between playful pranks and games and being completely swamped outside of her own territory. 

But Patton wanted this, which is why she was doing it, Rhaine reminded herself sternly, because Patton was mortal and he wanted to go to the mortal school. 

She stared down a sea of humans, children and their parents all talking and moving and being generally loud in the way humans were. She couldn’t count how many were here, but it was definitely way more than she had been warned. The youngest kids - younger than Patton at least - were with their parents, some of them laughing, far more were yelling or crying whilst their parents tried to get them to quiet. Rhaine took a deep breath, the summer revels were just as loud and rowdy, she could deal with noise, this was fine.

And she was absolutely not about to be a coward and have to admit to Ember than human gathering places were horrible. Because she definitely wasn’t even the slightest bit afraid.

Not that she would try and say that out loud, though. 

Patton, the sweetheart tugged on her hand, bringing her back into the moment. She wore a glamour, which had surprised the child at first, and they had wasted a while fifteen minutes having to reassure him that she was still the same faerie. It wasn’t something she’d anticipated needing to do this morning. 

But now she looked a lot more like she could be Patton’s human mother, long blond curls replacing her blue water-like hair, freckles blooming across her face to match his. She thought she had done well to make herself look human, now she looked around at the other mortal parents present and realised she may not have quite done well enough if all the strange looks and staring were anything to go by. 

They could get through this, she carried a wad of papers that Harley had given her the night before which she needed to get to the ‘principal's office’, wherever in the stars that was, along with Patton himself, then she would leave him in their care until the end of the day, when she would come back to collect him and bring him home.

Easy, simple. Rhaine was a faerie, the lady of her season, she could handle some mortal teachers.

—-

Patton’s first day of school had potentially been the most terrifying day of Rhaine’s life. She would never admit it, but mortals could be frightening when they were attempting to argue and even the meeting with the principal had needed so much more magic than she had ever expected. Harley had sorted out the paperwork as he had promised (Because Rhaine was not doing that) but she’d needed to alter the principals memories multiple times when he had questioned why he had never seen her or Patton before this, she’d needed to twist her words so much that she was dangerously close to outright lies when he’d asked about Patton’s upbringing, Thankfully what the fae had done seemed to count- to whatever higher power that dictated the way they couldn’t lie- as adoption and homeschooling, because otherwise she may not have gotten through that conversation with her sanity intact.

Collecting Patton at the end of the day had been only marginally less stressful. She’s attempted to slightly tone down her glamour this time in hopes to avoid all the staring and blend in a little better, though it apparently didn’t matter. Mortal women loved to gossip about things that were absolutely nobody else’s business. At least three people had attempted to talk to her about ‘the PTA’, whatever that meant, and at least four people had asked for her name and then found her reaction to be ‘rude’ and ‘weird’ when she refused to give it. 

She was pretty sure Harley had explained that one, but again, she hadn’t listened to him and was far too embarrassed now to ask for a refresher, so she’d told them to call her Rai and hoped that they’d just leave her alone from there.

Apparently not, because someone else decided that she really wanted to hear about her neighbour’s sister’s husband’s affair with Sydney (she neither knew nor cared who Sydney was, but whatever). And then another mortal had joined their little circle to begin discussing the apparent bi-weekly scandal caused by Sydney’s six year old kid, which she had discovered seemed to be a hot topic amongst these people. She still didn’t care about Sydney or her son, though, so she had turned them out whilst she waited for Patton to appear amongst the crowd so she could scoop him up and get the hell out of here.

Rhaine had hoped it would get easier as time passed, but, alas, it did not.

She was more than happy to hand Patton off to Ember at the end of September without a warning, though. Because that would be terribly funny for everyone except the Autumn lady, and, being completely honest, Rhaine sometimes lived solely to annoy her friend in the funniest of ways. 

—-

Ember was going to kill Rhaine for this. 

She wasn’t, not actually, because that would land her with an entire court as well as the Seelie Queen at her back and Ember really didn’t have time to deal with that. She did, however, strongly consider murdering the human woman who kept trying to talk to her whilst she was very clearly attempting to exit the one-sided conversation she had never wanted to be part of in the first place.

“Oh my lord, ok, you need to tell me where you got your hair done! Like what is your secret??” This woman practically whined and Ember had half a mind to pull the knife out of her sleeve and stab her tight there and then, the only thing stopping her was the fact that she was pretty certain murdering the mortals would ruin Patton’s day. 

“You need to tell me why you think annoying me is going to get you a better hair-do,” Ember told her, in the same tone, before walking off towards the little snack table that seemed to be the only good part of this whole sky-dammed party and even that wasn’t great, they didn’t even have cream! She heard the woman scoff behind her before muttering something like ‘rude’, but honestly? Ember really didn’t care.

Instead of bothering herself with the annoying humans and letting herself go mad, Ember grabbed a handful of the little icing-covered biscuits they’d called Party Rings and retreated to watch this pitiful excuse for a party (to celebrate another mortal’s Birthday, which was apparently a mortal custom, she thought the kid who’s honour this party was thrown in looked practically miserable, but Ember wasn’t one to pry.)

She was starting to get incredibly bored when finally something interesting happened. That being in the form of one of the smaller kids managing to sneak up on her.

“Trade?” Was all they said, he stood confidently, one hand tucked in a trouser pocket, their hair covered half of their face while the little hat he wore was pulled down over his eyes too. He was holding out a cupcake that had the same volume of icing piped on top as there was sponge along with pink sugar sprinkles.

“For one of the biscuits,” He specified when she didn’t answer, a little too shocked that he’d managed to sneak up on her to speak for a moment. She blinked before glancing at her stash of party rings, she could give him one, she’d be getting more out of it, but the cupcake he was giving in return certainly warranted two. 

“Two biscuits,” She answered, offering her hand to shake, the kid smiled and shook it with the hand that had previously been in his pocket (they were wearing only one glove, how curious) before handing her the cupcake and taking the biscuits and rather elegantly folding down into a seated position next to her. Strange, most children seemed to have a surprisingly strong instinct to avoid her, even more than the adults did. 

What else was curious? That deal had been weak, easily fulfilled and incredibly short lived. What interested her was the thrum of magic she had felt from the child when he’d offered it, which meant that they were almost certainly fae. She wondered if that was why he had come over, and if it was then how long would they sit in silence before he brought it up, after all, she was fairly certain they had been testing her with that deal.

It turned out that fae children were just as impatient as human ones, because they only remained sat in silence for the time it took the child to finish the cookies. 

“You’re like me,” They said quietly, as though it should be a secret, “Aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” She replied with a smirk, “But I think you already know the answer, don’t you? Wasn’t that deal enough evidence for you?”

The child blushed and tried to hide the visible side of his face, “They don’t like me doing them, but it’s a good way to tell.”

“Who might ‘they’ be?” Ember asked.

“Them,” The kid said, gesturing to the room at large. Ember felt a sad little pang in her chest, she didn’t know this faerie kid, had never seen him before in her life, but something in her said that they were important, that he deserved her protection.

“Do you have something I can call you?” Ember asked, instead of putting a voice to any of her feelings.

“You may call me Jam.” They said, Ember wasn’t quick enough to stop the snort of laughter that escaped her.

“Jam?” She asked.

“Yes,” the kid huffed, looking disgruntled, “The mortals tried to call me James, but that ain’t my name, so I go by Jam instead.”

“I didn’t mean to laugh,” Ember admitted, “You may call me Autumn.”

“M’kay,” Jam said, leaning back on the wall and watching the party, they sat in silence for a moment, before Jam turned back to her, “What are you doing here, anyway? You don’t fit in.”

Ember chuckled, this kid was cute, she pointed over to the small gaggle of children, “See the kid over there, with the blonde curls? Next to the one who looks seconds away from crying?”

“Pat and Lo?” Jam said, tilting his head a little, Ember nodded.

“Yes, Pat is our child, and he wanted to come here,” Ember explained, “So I have to stay to watch over him.”

“But… Pat isn’t fae?” Jam said, looking confused, they whispered the word ‘fae’ as though it were a curse,, “And you don’t even look alike,”

“You aren’t human, but you live here, don’t you?” Ember pointed out. Jam seemed to consider for a second before nodding.

“I guess you’re right,” They said, letting the conversation drift away into silence. Ember didn’t mind, in fact she was happy to go back to watching the human children talk together. Patton was still with the boy (Jam had called him Lo) who’s birthday was being celebrated. Despite the sparkly cone hat that sat on the child’s head, he didn’t look too happy to be the centre of attention at this party. 

She wondered what might be wrong with Patton’s friend. To have a party thrown in your honour surely was quite special? But he seemed to back away whenever any of the other children came over to speak with him and Patton (the sweetheart he was) would jump in and gently guide them away. 

Was Lo afraid of people? Or perhaps just these people, because he seemed happy enough to hang around with her Patton. She noticed flinch and cover his ears when a balloon popped (Jam had flinched too, gosh she was a little worried about these kids, though she’d never admit it, Ember had a reputation. Someone made the already far too loud music louder and Jam seemed to curl tighter into a ball, covering his ears.

“How would you like to go outside for a short while,” Ember asked Jam, who nodded just slightly. She glanced around at the mortal parents, unsure of who’s child she was more or less stealing right now, before offering Jam a hand once she concluded no-one was watching. He took it warily and she lead him outside the house where the party was being held and into the front garden, where she found a set of chairs surrounded by plants and got him to sit down. 

“Alright, will you be alright here for a moment if I go back inside?” She asked, Jam nodded again and she smiled, “I will hopefully not take too long.”

—-

Patton had immediately gotten along with Jam, somehow he seemed to have that way with just about everyone he spoke with. Ember couldn’t quite understand it. Lo had been afraid of her, which she’d half expected, so she’d stepped away whilst the three kids talked. Lo and Jam seemed to get along well too, Lo maintaining a surprisingly intelligent conversation for a six year old mortal. Patton had kept hold of Lo’s hand the entire time they were outside, and Ember decided that for now she wouldn’t read more into that. Not unless they were still friends when Patton was a little older.

—-

“Come onnn Lo!” Patton called, tugging on Logan’s hand, “We’re gonna miss the start of the revel!”

“We will not be late,” Logan told him, adjusting his glasses and continuing to walk at a regular pace despite Patton’s tugging, “Because even time within this forest seems to somehow bend to your will.”

“Yeah well, that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hurry!” Patton said, turning to him and grinning, “Jam is waiting for us!”

“Pat, I suspect we will get there in the same amount of time whether we rush or not,” Logan pointed out, making Patton pout, “And this is the first time I will be attending one of these revels, I would like a chance to get used to the surroundings…”

Patton paused his attempts at tugging Logan ahead and instead fell into pace beside him without letting go of his hand, “Are you… nervous?”

“A little,” Logan admitted, looking away, “Fae have not been known in the past to be kind to strangers, especially not humans, I’m glad Jam will be there, but they are the only faerie I know.”

“You know Emmy, and you know Ray a little,” Patton pointed out with a smile. He remembered when Em had saved Logan from his own uncomfortable birthday party almost six years ago now. Patton knew he had briefly met the Autumn Lady a bunch of times since then. But even so Logan still seemed wary.

“She is the Lady of Autumn, I don’t expect her to protect me.” Logan said, “I’m sure she has more important people to look out for.”

Patton barely managed not to gasp.

“What?” Logan asked, obviously noticing the look on his face.

“Lo, Em personally threatened in front of the entire summer court to excecute anyone who so much as laid a hand on you without your consent, Ray backed her up almost immediately, they’ll protect you,” Patton told him, looking up through his glasses at his taller friend, who stopped walking, staring back at him with wide eyes.

“I- execute??” 

“Yeah, it’s uh- a fae thing- try not to think about it too much,” Patton waved him off, “But both Em and Ray will protect you if you need it, which you shouldn’t because the summer court are all lovely, kay?”

“...Okay Pat, I trust you,” Logan said, squeezing Patton’s hand.

“Great!” Patton smiled, pushing aside a large curtain of leaves to reveal a massive clearing open to the warm summer skies, lit with bonfires, fireflies and the rising full midsummer moon overhead and decorated with garlands of summer flowers and vines, tables made from tree stumps housing food and drink that fae who were just beginning to arrive now and those who hung about the clearing were happily enjoying, “Because we’re here, right on time as always.”

----

Tags:

@full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess (if anyone wants to be added let me know!)

[llycaons]

ep36 (1/2): we are so fucking back, baby

thank god this episode was really good. sweet and cute in part 1 and then really funny + spooky later on

I do find it really funny that wwx arranged lwj's arms like he's in a coffin. man, but his sleeping pose is so strange

I wonder if there's something to be said that lwj looks like he's always in mourning and sleeps like he's dead but he's actually the force of life and light in the life of wwx. and wwx is even more strongly associated with death through his cultivation path and his own death, but he's got so much energy and life in him (when he's not like, super depressed or traumatized that is). the balance is neat

yeah this is cute. lwj has changed in some ways since wwx has come back, in ways that I think confuse and put wwx on the defense in some cases. but overall there's a steady reliability there that I think plays a significant role in why he loves lwj - he's something familiar and comforting and dependable in a new and strange world

aww their reunion!!

love this scene! wwx never really thought he was above wen ning, but he didn't always show it so clearly. he's communicating so well to wn here - we're equals, I'm not above you, you can stand tall and not be ashamed of yourself

ohhh that's why he wanted bichen

his face is so funny and 2. man I guess that's the translation but I like bichen better

another funny scene. wen ning noisily and clumsily running away right behind wwx and wwx stumbles over his words trying to explain himself

how the FUCK did they get here. like there was no effort put into this at all lol wwx was just like 'hehe I got lost" HOW DID YOU GO FROM THE CITY CENTER TO A RANDOM FARMHOUSE

man, wyb is BACK in this episode. idk why things were so weird and cold in previous episodes but he's got so much more expression in his face this time. even his dopey blank drunk-face is like deeply intent and focused. he is honestly very cute here

LEGEND

ohhh I love this. couple quality activities

I don't think it's fair to call ss utter shit with a sword, so lwj really is just that good. goddamn.

im like really enamored with this face? god he's so open and honest and vulnerable like this

so cute I can't 😭

this makes me sooo mad because we SAW the brand on his chest we KNOW he got drunk and did that so why shouldn't he have gotten drunk off wwx's favorite wine?? huh??? at least, he did in the book iirc

side note, but as someone whose first exposure to the story was the drama, I put the pieces together pretty well myself. like, who else would it have been? it had to have been lwj himself

back to chatting about rabbits. what a goofy smile. and look how much wwx is laughing, aww

this is a great scene for the confession itself, but I've always loved most xz's performance. those big wet eyes, and all that swallowing - he's so touched he really might start crying right there. and it's so important to wwx to know that someone trusted him, and believed in him, and wished they'd done something differently to help him. the last time someone publicly defended him he did cry. it's something I love a lot about wwx

and I just like that smile so much. all that love in there. that affection. almost looking like nostalgia

I like the idea that wwx is someone who can remember who he was when he was young more easily with lwj - that innocence and energy and joy he used to have

this is also really funny. I'm sure it's not nine. he's just announcing it is because he's going to sleep now, so it must be

and the only time we see him with a nightmare postres. makes sense that he still gets them - BM and the war was only a few years ago

aww his smile when he sees the kids is so cute

THE FAKE MOUSTACHE I CAN'T

some sick burns these kids are delivering

[lagotu]

Foreword: Second parallel world

“Welcome, friends, brave heroes, to a magical adventure!”

... This again?

And in the royal hall too. Same hall, same words, same staring royalty.

There was one difference. Last time, I was alone before the king.

This time, I was standing next to about 40 of my classmates.

They looked more than a little startled. Some of the girls even looked frightened.

It was the second time I'd been in this situation, so I, of course, was completely relaxed.

I'd been hoping for something like this for a long time, so even if I felt a little nervous, there's no way I'd waste the moment by being afraid.

The king announced, "The name of this world is <Eclair>. It is a bloody wasteland, torn apart by the Humans, Demons, and Beastmen."

And, it was the world I once saved.

Before I tell you more about this world, let me tell you about myself My name is 須崎 雪, Wait-Mountain Snow, pronounced Susaki Setsu.

...

The time: A few minutes before the summoning.

“―Hey! Go get me some fried noodle bread, Necroyuki!” someone yelled at me.

It was lunch period― and I was suddenly kicked in the back, forced out of the classroom.

The guy who kicked me, his name was...

... uh...

... Yuando?

Something like that. I've been lazy about names lately.

“I want a cream bun!”

"I'll have some curry bread! Necroyuki!"

It's such a hassle... All these orders, to the point that I can't even remember their individual names anymore. Maybe I should call my bullies (1) and (2).

See, I could try to defend myself, but I'm sure it would draw more attention. These baby bullies would call me "cheeky" for disobeying them and just come after me after school. And that would be annoying too.

I grabbed my wallet silently and headed out to buy their things.

Oh, by the way, "Necroyuki" seems to be my nickname now. My body's long hair hides its eyes, and it's pretty short in stature. I look like a shut-in. So I can understand why people prepended Necro to my name.

As for the Yuki part of it...

"Yuki-kun! What are you doing?"

A girl with brown hair in a bob cut rushes up to me. She is my neighbor, childhood friend, and classmate, 花柱 夕陽, Hanabashira Yuuhi, the Flower-Pillar Sunset. She's a little shorter than me, and she's a cute girl with good taste in fashion, showing off where she sticks out and tucking in where she doesn't.

"Hmm... oh, Yuuhi, I'm on my way to go shopping... and you still won't stop calling me Yuki, will you?"

“Of course, because Yuki-kun is Yuki-kun!”

As you may have noticed, the Yuki part of Necroyuki comes from this guy calling me Yuki instead of Setsu. She read my name as Yuki instead of Setsu at first, and it caught on.

I guess to Yuando and his cronies, it must come off like the popular girl is bullying the loner creep, in a weird, jealous way.

It's not just them. To the class, my poor body has a rather heartbreaking reputation. Boys are jealous, girls are creeped out...

... It's all just whatever to me, though.

A boy and a girl call out to Yuuhi from behind, unaware that she's the reason for my nickname.

"Yuu, what are you doing? Are you going?" That's Jiro.

"Come on, let's hurry! I'm starving!" and that's Mizuki Asakura.

"Mitsuki is the same as ever," says Harusaki Kouma.

I recognize their voices. They're popular kids in the class.

Jiro is a handsome man with a wild look and a "two-block" hairstyle. Although his name is austere, he dresses fashionably.

Mizuki, a smaller girl with pigtails. She has an lively personality, and she's said athletic or something... but Yuuhi once complained about her not being that smart.

The last one is a boy with long brown hair, Harusaki Kouma. He has real handsome man energy. Kouma is what's called a 'superhero', a popular guy.

These guys are all classmates and friends of Yuuhi. The four of them are always in the center of the class. By the way, "Yuu" is what these guys call Yuuhi.

"Ah, yeah! I'm going to go to the gym and play with my friends! See you later, Yuki!"

I waved her off as she walked back towards the school.

Three people stepped in between me and Yuuhi, as if to protect her. I felt like all three of them were staring at me.

"Hey, why was Yuu with that dead-looking person?"

"Eh? Yuki-kun isn't a creep, right?"

I hear the last bit of their conversation as I go.

As I head towards the student store, I think over how much they hate me.

Anyway, I bought all the requested bread with my own money. This is to save me time later.

At the same time, I headed to the vending machine outside to buy a drink.

My favorite sweet coffee? Cafe au lait. I buy it and return to the classrooms.

I looked toward the schoolyard where upperclassmen were playing soccer. An athletic guy had gotten past the defense and was getting into a shooting position.

With a shout of enthusiasm, a foot struck the ball, heading straight for the goal net... but instead passed over it and flew in a beautiful arc towards me.

My hands are full of bread and drinks, and I can't block it.

"Huh... stay with me."

However, just as the ball is about to hit me, it suddenly loses its momentum, and bounces on the ground.

Well, I'd better get on with delivering the bread.

...

Lunch break is over and afternoon classes begin.

Fortunately, the Endos were not in a bad mood. I turned on my phone during class as usual, feeling at ease. Using a textbook to block the teacher's view, I went to the Internet and opened an online novel site.

What I'm looking for is a novel about teleportation to another world and summoning.

...More than ten years ago, I was summoned to another world and I saved the world. I hadn't told anyone because no one would ever believe me.

Over ten years ago...I saved that world, but for some reason I was chased out of that world by the Human nation that had summoned me.

I think they probably intended to kill me, but since I had grown as a hero and reached the realm of immortality, I wasn't going to die that easily. I think I was forced out of there by some sort of consolatory repatriation magic.

... I was really surprised when I returned to the present day, reincarnated as a different person...

Now that I think about it, I guess the king might've thought I'd get in the way. Maybe he thought I'd try to take his throne...

Well, regardless, it was so sudden. I left many things behind over there.

So from a very young age, I desperately searched for a way to return home. I read every book I could find, and scoured the internet.

Fortunately, I inherited all the power from my days as a legendary hero. And I have been reading books in my spare time with almost no breaks in between. The reason why my power remained as strong as ever is a mystery. According to the webnovels, this kind of thing is called "opportunism". It's a useful word.

Still, I haven't found a way home. I don't have any clues on how to get back home.

Online novels are my go-to source for now. I continue searching at school, and even after school on my PC at home. This is also why I don't want anyone disturbing me after school.

There's no way I can give up.

I'm listening to the teacher's lesson moderately, piecing together the strings of letters.

This is when I felt something strange.

(...The flow of magical power?)

It was something I hadn't felt in a long time.

Magic power is something that can only be awakened in other worlds, and I have never met anyone who uses it in modern times. But I can feel the flow of magical power in the classroom... right under my feet.

(No way!?)

"Whoa! What the hell is this?"

One male student is jumping from here to there.

One after another, voices rose from all over the classroom.

There is a huge magic circle glowing at our feet...

It's the same thing as when I was first summoned―

(The world hasn't given up on me yet...!)

In this way, the classroom is enveloped in light, and I, along with my classmates, are once again summoned to another world―

[dougielombax]

Alright.

Behold my anti-sex music playlist!

For music that just won’t work when you’re planning on doing it.

Not saying any of these songs are bad. Just that they won’t be good for sex.

In my mind…

Here they are:

1. Chumbawumba - Tubthumping.

2. Blarf - Banana

3. Eric Andre & the Last Seed - Beef Patty

4. Midge Ure - The Man Who Sold the World (OH NO. NOT ME)

5. The Serbian National Anthem! (Bože pravde) - by I Don’t Fucking Know. (Yes I’m serious)

6.Geometry Dash theme tune

7. My Country ‘Tis of Thee (Boston Pops version)

8. Peaches - Fuck the Pain Away

9. That FUCKING Pina Colada song!

10. Aerosmith - I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing

11. Otis Redding - Shake

12. The Trashmen - Surfin’ Bird

13. Liberty Bell March - John Philip Sousa

14. That weird boingy Delaware version of the Dr Who theme what was only used once in the Australian broadcast of Carnival of Monsters.

15. Swans - She Loves Us

16. The Platters - My Prayer (for any David Lynch fans, if you know, YOU KNOW!)

17. Grieg - In the Hall of the Mountajn King (it HAS to be the Portsmouth sinfonia version)

18. Georg Friedrich Handel - Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah (also the Portsmouth Sinfonia version, ideal for maximum awkwardness)

19. 1800 Pain - Hurt

20. Weezer - Buddy Holly

21. ANYTHING by Nickelback (especially Photograph (LOOK AT THIS FUCKEN’ SHIT!) or Rockstar)

22. The Cure - Friday I’m in Love

23. Nine Inch Nails - Mr Self Destruct (only an animal could fuck to this!)

24. Hanggai - Drinking song (this is actually a fucking banger but still)

25. Jamie Christopherson - The Stains of Time (except every single lyric is AND IT WILL COME)

26. Babylon Zoo - Spaceman

27. Suede - Filmstar

28. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart (on full blast)

29. Ligeti - Lux Aeterna (may induce existential crises)

30. Korngold - Theme from King’s Row

31. AJCW - Wonderland (very loud, this is some cosmic horror shit)

32. Girl Talk - Play Your Part (Pt 1.)

33. Akira Yamaoka - Black Fairy

34. Ludvig Forssell -204863

35. Bach - Chorale BWV 645 (slow instrumental organ/trombone version)

36. Akira Yamaoka - My Heaven

37. Kikagaku Moyo - Dripping Sun (the beat drop at the end is some next level shit)

38. Carpenter Brut - Le Perv

39. Dawn of the Dead - The Gonk

40. de Wolfe music - Lubricator

41. Wizzard - I Wish it could be Christmas Every Day

42. Venetian Snares - All the Children are Dead

43. Van McCoy - Do the Hustle

44. Roy Orbison - In Dreams (look, it’s a great tune, but still).

45. Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun

46. Mansion Basement - Resident Evil Director’s Cut Soundtrack

47. Happy Days (as in the main theme tune from Happy Days!)

48. Exhumed - As Hammer to Anvil

49. Muddy Magnolias - American Woman (David Lynch Remix) (if you fuck to this then you are legally not a human, you are a CREATURE)

50. Sonny Terry - Old Lost John

51. Hanatarash - My Dad is Car (VERY LOUD!)

52. Clubbed to Death (instrumental)

53. Jerry Manolas - Midnight Dream

54. Guided by Voices - Game of Pricks

55. Ludvig Forssell - Death Stranding theme tune

56. Glenn Miller - In the Mood

57. Venetian Snares - Winnipeg is Fucking Over

58. BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head.

59. Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

60. Huun Huur Tu - Eerbek Aksy

61. Whitney Houston - I'm Your Baby Tonight

62. Mussorgsky - The Great Gate of Kiev

63. Low Roar - Give Up

64. Ludwig Van Beethoven - Rage Over a Lost Penny

65. Neon Indian - Slumlord’s Release

66. The Caretaker - All You are Going to want to Do is Get Back There.

67. Horace Heidt - This Time It’s Real (instrumental - slowed down)

68. BluntedBeatz - I Am

69. Eddie Vedder - Out of Sand

70. Olga Wojciechowska - Remember When the Light Came (unfortunately I can’t find it ANYWHERE!)

71. Blarf - The Me in Me

72. Chuck Person - Lightning Strikes

73. Polkas y Huapangos - Los Dos Laredos. (Pretty sure you legally CANNOT fuck to this)

74. Tom Jones - What’s New Pussycat (VERY LOUDLY)

75. Merzbow - Ultramarine Blue

76. Fool’s Garden - Lemon Tree (I NEED Wes Anderson to use this song in his next film! FIND A WAY to get him to do it!)

77. Big Brother Theme Tune

78. Fanfare Vagabontu - Batuta Din Moldova

79. Lvovsky - Now the Powers of Heaven

80. Tuvan Ensemble - Arbyn Ossun

81. Weird Al - EBay song

82. Marathon 2 main theme (I mean come ON!)

83. Electric Light Orchestra - Mr Blue Sky (SHUT UP!!!!)

84. My Chemical Romance- Famous Last Words

85. Van Halen - Panama

86. Powermad - Slaughterhouse

87. Bjork - It’s Oh so Quiet

88. Sigur Rós - Hoppípolla

89. Richard Strauss - Zueignung (specifically the version performed by Jessye Norman (RIP))

90. Apollo 100 - Joy (especially if you speed it up)

91. Carol Anne McGowan - Sycamore Trees (look it’s beautiful but you cannot fuck to it!)

92. Brian Eno - Weightless

93. Jean Sibelius - Symphony no 2.

94. Handel - Hallelujah Chorus (as performed by the Portsmouth Sinfonia)

95. The White Buffalo - I Know You (it’s a great piece of music but it’s really depressing)

96. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe

97. Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance

98. Blink 182 - I Miss You. (WHERE ARE YEEEEEEEW)

99. Francis Stanfield - O Sacred Heart. (Yes I know it’s a Catholic hymn! That’s the point!)

100. Surasshu - The Penis (Eek!)

101. Non Phixion - The CIA is Trying to Kill Me

102. All-American Rejects - Move Along (SHUT UP! It’s a good song but come on)

103. Big Data - Bombs Over Brooklyn (their curiosity for learning has skyrocketed)

104. Adam & the Ants - Stand and Deliver

105. Animal Collective - Derek

106. Ludwig Van Beethoven. Symphony no. 5. Movement 1.

107. Hong Kong 97 Soundtrack - I Love Beijing Tiananmen.

108. Mr Bean animated series theme tune (piano, obviously).

109. John Williams - The Immolation Scene. (From the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith soundtrack)

110. Ludwig Van Beethoven. Again. - Ode to Joy. Symphony no 9. Movement 4.

111. Vague003 - Tonight

112. Tchaikovsky - Serenade for Strings in C Major Op. 48.

113. Old Gods of Asgard - Take Control

114. Zbigniew Preisner - Lacrimosa, Day of Tears

115. AJCW - Fog Horm

[crookshanks23]

Season 1, Episode 34: Dedicated Involved Loving Fathers

(Note: This is a long one y'all. I ended up typing out all of my thoughts on this one)

Favorite Moment: The entire phone call with Beth May.

General Thoughts:

All right: because I'm really curious, I want to sit and log my feelings as I listen to this. As I mentioned in my previous post, this is the one episode that I've not been able to relisten to because it set me off the first time I heard it. I was listening to the podcast in the car, because I was doing a lot of commuting, and I was so confused by this episode that I exited out of the episode a couple of different times, sure that I had accidentally skipped an episode. And that confusion has just really put me off from this episode. Looking back on the episode, it's very clever, from what I can remember of it, but it bothered me so much. Maybe it's because I was driving, and so instead of just being a fun time, it became this huge distraction.

So, what I remember of this episode, is that there is a fight with bounty hunters and somehow they end up riding on a bunch of animals. And there are some shenanigans with Dennis. But that's it. Most of the details of this episode are not in my brain anymore.

So here we go, let's see how I feel about this one on my second go-around. (By the way, I finished episode 33 over a week ago, have hit play on this episode three times, and have been unable to listen to it. But now it's time. I'm going to do this.)

This intro is very dumb, but very funny. And I love a good "flip to side two" joke. It makes my old millennial heart happy.

The whole table talk and Dad fact portion does a great job of integrating Ashley naturally. So flawless it threw me.

Grant's nickname is shooter? Oh no. The context of that now is unfortunately not a funny baby poop joke. Oof.

Again, so nonchalant in with the Dennis stuff. And I didn't realize that he was also a rogue. No wonder Ron doesn't like him.

His anchor is at the librarium decepticus? That's so smart.

Thanks Ron, for saying all the things I felt listening to this the first time.

Okay, enjoying the episode so far. Doing a quick check-in on how I'm feeling. Maybe it's just me and this horrible bias I have against this episode, but it feels different. It's still enjoyable and I'm still smiling while I'm listening, but it's more that I'm enjoying the heat between Ron and Dennis. I don't know, this is a weird experience.

Ron fell on to his dagger? There's definitely some shenanigans happening here. Accident? I think not!

Poor Grant. Why give him an axe? I had forgotten about all of the additional trauma that happens to this boy in this episode.

Dennis has always been Paeden's favorite? Ugh. Feels awful. Poor Darryl.

Ron doing what Dennis does is great.

RIP jug. It was a cool, useful item.

I'm just happy to be here. Ok, that was flawless. Hats off to Ashley for that one.

So much shade being thrown towards Ron AND Beth. I don't like it. But I like it.

The energy. Is so weird.

It's not bad, for a combat episode. But doesn't feel like how they do combat. More like how actual combat goes in a DnD game.

Okay, another feelings check in. I really do love the Ron anti-Dennis heat. It is very funny.

So we're now 30 minutes from the end of the episode, and the combat is over. And I have no idea what is left because I don't remember anything else from this episode.

Ok, the entire Beth May phone call is hysterical.

Love that Erin hates Dennis too. Oh wait. Nope. She's playing hard to get. That is pretty funny.

Mr. Mustache meets Terry! And Terry finally believes Ron!

Dennis brings up Scam... And reveals himself as Mark. Glenn's line of "Mark- what did you do with Dennis?" Very funny. He's revealed and then disappears.

And there's some planning and apologizing and that's it. I did it!

And next time, we get to what I consider the official start of Arc 2. Let's go get some anchors!

[catholic-rph]

A note on The Nun:

I watch a good amount of horror movies because I enjoy being scared lol and a lot of times there's Catholicism involved, so I thought I would also post thoughts I've had related to that! I'm not currently watching the movie so this is just one (1) thought here but it's an important one because I've noticed that people do use horror movies and other media as references for Catholicism in writing.

So, spoilers ahead.

You good? Good.

Okay, so a major plot point in The Nun is one that I find kind of hilarious and is so obvious as an oversight to me too.

Irene, Father Burke, and later Maurice (Frenchie) are hanging out at an abbey in Romania investigating a nun's suicide. They discover Valak the demon has been there and that the abbey is empty. I don't think they found out that its name is Valak, but that's not the point, I'll call it Valak.

Once they've figured out it's Valak, plot point emerges: they have to find a relic stored within the abbey. This relic is none other than the blood of Jesus Christ himself. They intend to use this blood to send Valak back to hell. There's... several observations here, more or less all surrounding a key concept in Catholic theology that your character, as a Catholic, should be aware of. Like, if not, they've basically missed the entire point of the religion.

I don't actually know if a "body part," so to speak, of Jesus himself would be called a relic. Since Jesus resurrects and then bodily ascends to heaven, there shouldn't really be any body parts around. I don't know whether that would include or exclude body parts that may have become separate from the main body, like say, nail clippings, blood from the crucifixion, hair clippings, baby teeth, the prepuce (not gonna talk about that one in this post), etc. My intuition would be no, but then, I also don't think it's strictly necessary that my intuition be correct in this one; it could go either way. However,

in Catholic theology, there's a huge central idea which is that Jesus gave us his body and blood in the Eucharist. This means that during Catholic Mass, the bread and wine are turned into the body and blood of Christ, literally and not metaphorically. This is called transubstantiation. There's an important distinction here, where the items still look, feel, taste, act, etc. like bread and wine - no one is saying that the appearance changes. It's more so that in the same way that a corpse is not the person that inhabited it before dying, then in reverse, the bread and wine have received what makes Jesus be Jesus. Too weird? Try: Jesus can turn into bread and wine if he wants to, he's God himself, remember. There's a lot of articles about transubstantiation from Catholic websites, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church has information about it too.

So my point with (2) is two-fold. First, that the relic of the blood would, in fact, be probably called Eucharist instead. It's literally the blood of Jesus, isn't it? And then the actual point of this post:

Father Burke is a priest. These people, all Catholic, are hanging out with a priest. There's gotta be wine and bread available. I hope I'm not misremembering, but I'm pretty sure at some point they did in fact drink or have wine? Maurice delivers, after all. Either way, there was a chapel and nuns go to daily Mass so they would have had both items in stock someplace. (Actually kind of odd that no one found the dead nun sooner than Maurice. A priest is needed for daily Mass but would not have lived in the all-women abbey most likely.) The point is: they didn't need the relic of the blood of Jesus. They could make it. It would have probably been less interesting though.

And so, The Nun is kind of funny to me, like, conceptually. There's plenty they did well, don't get me wrong! But there's just thaaaat thing. Suggests to me that the script may have been written by a non-Catholic.

Resources on transubstantiation:

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, this link is to the Vatican website but it's also available from other websites, in print, and via several apps. I'm not sponsored by anyone, this is a genuine preference: my favorite is the Ascension Press edition or the version in their app, which is searchable.

Is it really Catholic if I don't also link to Catholic Answers on the topic? Here's their Transubstantiation for Beginners article.