#I'm not watching it to learn about medicine

[wowbright]

More thoughts about Doctor Odyssey, medical edition:

I know the show writers are not aiming for medical accuracy. I'm not watching it for medical accuracy. I can totally go along with hand waiting to a certain extent.

But c'mon. If you're going to use a disease for plot purposes, use it well.

Nurse Hot Guy's mother has Huntington's? (Sorry, tv, I have a hard time remembering character's names if you don't give me a good reason to remember.) Maybe have a little discussion about how Huntington's is a neurological disorder with symptoms that can include not only bad handwriting, but also erratic behavior, disinhibition, impulsivity, emotional instability, impaired judgment, and "jocularity" or good humor in situations where it seems inappropriate. Hmmm ... Does any of this sound like his mother?

But wait! Hasn't his mother always been a terrible mother? Can her behavior actually be attributed to Huntington's disease? Well, that's hard to say. Deterioration of the brain cells can start as early as childhood, and continue for decades before physical symptoms, like handwriting changes, develop. Psychological symptoms can occur that friends, relatives, and medical professionals who don't have access to a thorough medical history or genetic profile may incorrectly attribute to something else, like personality or a nonneurological psychiatric disorder.

Even if her behavior during his childhood was not related to Huntington's, it's possible that her current behavior is. She may have been absolutely sincere about changing her behavior, but then immediately forgotten that she made that promise or been neurologically incapable of delivering on it.

It's absolutely wild to me that no one even mentioned the possibility of the disease shaping her behavior. Nope. Instead of having our character find a cold sort of comfort in that possibility, let him instead come to the "mature" understanding that she is just an unloving mother who doesn't care enough to reform.

Also ... Huntington's is a dominant genetic disorder. If her grandfather had it and she had it, the parent who is the child of the grandfather should also have had it. If the parent didn't have it, it's because they died before it was obvious that symptoms were developing. Wild there weren't two lines of dialogue to address this.

But even more wild is that neither Doctor Hot Guy nor Nurse Practitioner Aves (whose name I remember because it has to do with birds) talk to Nurse Hot Guy about whether or not he wants to get genetic testing to see whether or not he has it ... Especially in the later episode when he talks about having SIX KIDS, statistically half of whom would be likely to inherit Huntington's if he has it.

Did I mention Huntington's tends toward greater severity (earlier onset, more expensive damage) with every generation? That severity might not be noticeable over just one or two generations, but still ... YOU CAN'T USE HUNTINGTON'S AS A TOSS AWAY DISEASE IF THE CHARACTER WHO HAS IT IS THE PARENT OF ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW. IT HAS TO COME UP AGAIN. IT HAS TO.

Nurse Hot Guy displaying peculiar psychological symptoms during Halloween episode? His coworkers would at least *wonder* about Huntington's. Nurse Hot Guy says he wants six kids? His coworkers ... Oh yeah I already beat that one to death.

I will excuse the ridiculously quick healing times for burns and syphilitic rashes. I will not excuse the ridiculously quick healing time for African trypanosomiasis, but I can choose to overlook it. Why? Because none of them involved a main character.

But this is just bad writing. If you pick a disease that could have important plot consequences, use it for that. If you don't want to, pick a different disease.

(I'm assuming there's already a lot of fanfic out there working to fill this plot hole. Am I right?)

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

can't decide if I want to be a gynecologist or if I want to marry one

[inalucky]

there's such a long list of interests and hobbies i've wished i pursued for years but never started. even the hobbies i have i hardly partake in because i'm constantly simultaneously exhausted and restless. i don't even do my schoolwork most of the time; the once in a while that i can force myself to do something it's that. i have all this curiosity and interest and people used to say i was so smart and i'm letting all my passion rot away but it doesn't feel like i can physically do anything else.

[waitingforminjae]

if i may offer a piece of advice about college: get those basic common core requirements out of the way early. like for real.

i’m turning 24, a sixth year senior, and right now i’m taking college algebra and a basic intro to anthropology course, designed for people filling their common core requirement. and let me say: there is nothing more annoying than being treated like your an 18 yr old freshman as a grown ass senior. i literally want to explode.

i am having to watch a video on fucking PLAGARISM. and answer a shit ton of questions about it on a little answer sheet and turn it in. i am six years into a humanities major. i am a GROWN ASS WOMAN. this is, honestly, baby stuff and a colossal waste of my time.

in my math class, the teacher constantly passive-aggressively mentions how no one shows up and just in general treats everyone like high schoolers. it’s honestly hard for me to describe but it’s annoying when ur 23 and no longer in high school. like, as annoying as the typical attitudes towards high schoolers are when your actually in high school? it’s even more annoying when you’re being talked to like that when your in your early twenties. it makes me homicidal.

so. my advice is get the common core out of the way, because seriously. by the time you’re a senior you will likely be in a very different stage of your life developmentally and you won’t need to be talked to like a freshman or high-schooler. you will be in more advanced courses for your major, and hopefully it will be interesting and stimulating. and when you’re at that stage, there is nothing worse than being in a room full of 200 underclassmen and being treated like an eighteen year old that doesn’t give a fuck. it’s very annoying, in my experience.

[exhaslo]

Kinktober Day 18- Master!Miguel x Maid!Reader

"Did you hear? Another maid got fired for trying to flirt with the master." One of the head maids whispered. Another sighed,

"That's five this month. When are these young girls going to learn?"

"What about (Y/n)? She's been here for a while, has she made any comments about our master?"

"Thank goodness no. She is so focused on work that the poor girl might never get a boyfriend!"

        You frowned as you listened to the head maids chatter. You moved away from the wall you were hiding behind. You had no choice but to focus on work because of your bills. It would be a lie if you said you were not interest in the master of his household. Your master, Miguel O'Hara, was a wealthy man who always disappeared for business work. No one questioned anything. You were all hired to keep his mansion clean and tidy.

        Your job was to clean the main dining room. Due to other young maids, no one but the head maids were allowed to clean the master's bedroom. It was too dangerous. It was obvious as to why. The master was tall, toned and handsome. The only time you truly got to see him was when he returned home. Everyone in the mansion greeted him. You always tried to glance at him any other time, but you were afraid of getting caught and fired.

        A soft sigh escaped your lips as you thought about what the head maids said. You wanted a boyfriend, but it felt impossible. Every time you went on a date, something would happen to the person you were seeing. You started to wonder if it was you. As you walked down the hall, you heard a low grunt. Confused, you followed the strange noise and stopped in front of your master's room. You were told to stay as far away from here.

"Um, M-Master, are you okay?" You hesitantly asked, more worried about getting fired.

        It went silent. Taking a step back, you looked around to make sure no one saw you. Perhaps now would be best to leave? Right as you were about to turn your heel, the door opened.

"(Y/n)?" Miguel groaned lowly, leaning against the doorframe. You gulped, staring at him since he looked like he was in pain,

"Are you okay, master?" You asked.

        God, he looked so sexy. His shirt was undone, exposing his toned chest. Miguel was panting for air and sweat was rolling down his forehead. Realizing that your master was in pain, you immediately panicked.

"Master, shall I fetch you some medication? You don't look well," 

"It's just a headache," Miguel told you before sighing, "How are you with head massages?"

"Excuse me?" You were caught off guard by the question. Miguel faced you,

"Medicine won't work, but I'll be better with a head massage."

"Oh, um, I can try. If not, I'm sure one of the head maids ca-"

"I'm asking you. Not them."

        You flinched towards his demand. Agreeing to his request, you followed your master into his bedroom. The one place that all those other maids had failed to enter. You hesitantly followed him, taking in every little detail. The room smelled so good. Hopefully, this won't get you fired. You watched as Miguel laid against the couch, patting the space above his head. 

        You were nervous. What if you did a horrible job? Sitting down, you scooted closer and gulped as your master placed his head on your lap. He was so close! You inhaled softly before starting to rub your fingers against his forehead. You're watched enough videos, so hopefully you could copy what you saw. Hearing his rumbling groan, you bit your lower lip. God, he was so hot.

         Miguel groaned lowly as he relaxed to your touch. His headaches have been getting worse with his workload lately. That and the fact that you kept trying to date men who weren't good enough for you. With all the drama with other maids trying ti flirt with him, Miguel never had a chance to talk to you. You, the most beautiful women he had ever laid eyes on. You, the determined worker. You, the woman he wanted. Miguel was thankful that you passed by his door. This was pleasant.

"Is this alright, master? Am I doing okay?" You asked.

Master.

        That word rolled so nicely off your lips. Miguel lowered his hand to hide his growing erection. Oh how he wanted to hear you cry for him. To drill you with his dick as you called him, master.

"Si. I'm feeling better already," He lowered his voice.

        Miguel was just happy to have his head on your lap. Like a soft cushion. He needed you to keep visiting him. He may be the master of this mansion, but he was still a man. Closing his eyes, Miguel relaxed under your touch. He was going to get used to this.

---------------

        You tried to hide your smile as you hurried to Miguel's room with his dinner. Ever since he had you massage his head, Miguel had requested you to do for stuff for him. It made your heart flutter that you were getting close to him. All of the head maids shook their heads towards ypu getting cozy with the master, but hell! He requested you!

"Master! I've brought your dinner!" You chirped, knocking befoer entering. Miguel was sitting on his couch,

"(Y/N), you look awfully cheerful today." He said, adoring your smile. You placed his meal in front of him, "Do tell," Miguel loved to hear you ramble about your day.

"Well, I finally paid off one of my bills!" You chirped before hesitating, "That and...my last date asked me for another date. I was kind of wor-"

"Que?" Miguel stopped you in your tracks, "He asked for a second date?"

You could hear Miguel's angry tone, "Um...Yes?" You flinched as Miguel stood and approached you.

"You're not going out with him," He said firmly and stroked your cheek, "You're too good for him."

        That and Miguel was mad that the fucker dared to contact you again after he paid him. Miguel made sure to keep you single so that he could have you to himself.

"M-Master?"

        You glanced up at Miguel, leaning your head into the palm of his hand. They were so big and warm. You could feel your heart race as Miguel moved his hand to your waist. You could feel the tension. Miguel pulled you towards his bed and sat down. His grip still tight against your waist, your uniform blocking his touch.

"(Y/N), tell me what I am to you." Miguel's tone was needy. It made you melt.

"My Master."

"Mhm, you do as I say, right?" He started to draw circles around your waist, "You're not going to date anyone because you're going to be mine. Understood?"

"Y-Yes, Master," You bit your lower lip as he lowered you to his lap.

"I want you to take care of, (Y/N)." Miguel whispered in your ear, "Let me hear your voice."

        You started to tremble as Miguel stroked the outline of your dress. He leaned forward to kiss your neck, removing your collar with his teeth. You let out a small whimper as Miguel sucked on your neck. Heat started to form between your legs as you felt his erection grind against your panties. Tingles shot up your spine as your head flung back from pleasure. Miguel hummed, enjoying your body riding against his hips. Your damp panties starting to stain his pants.

        It was still not enough. You moaned lowly as Miguel brought his hand to your cunt, moving your panties aside to rub your folds. You moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck as you began to ride his hand. His long fingers teasing your entrance, making you clench nothing but air. His hot breathe against your ear as you whimpered from his teasing.

"You have to ask for it." He said with a smirk.

"P-Please, Master."

"That's right, keep begging me." You moaned as Miguel entered two fingers into your pussy, pumping them against your tight gummy walls, "Look at you, about to cum on your master's hand."

"Master~" You tensed as his fingers curled against your pussy, causing you to orgasm, "Hah, Master!"

"Good girl, (Y/N). Always a hard worker," He praised, removing his hand to undo his pants, "Will you continue to work hard for me?"

"Yes, Master."

        You took a moment to catch your breathe as you positioned yourself above him. You moved his hand away from his cock, grabbing it instead. You were hesitant, but after seeing the lust in his eyes, you folded. Pumping his dick a few times, you cried out as he started to stretch your pussy. You were slow, but you kept going down on him, shaking from the intense feeling. Your hands rested against Miguel's chest, trying to finish putting his dick inside you.

        Miguel let out a grunt as he helped. He thrusted upward, causing you to cry loudly. His cock shoved so deep inside you that it made your vision blur for a second. He demanded that you move, to which to listened. Your cries became loud moans as you bounced on his dick. Your body leaned back as you rode him, pleasure overtaking you. Miguel held your waist, one of his thumbs rubbing your clit in the process. This made you cum again.

"Master!"

"Don't stop until your work is done," Miguel gave you an order.

        You whined, slowing down from your high. Miguel gripped your waist, rubbing your clit harder as he started to thrust. Your moans were music to his ears. No other man was going to have you. Not when you worked for him. Not when he was fucking your pussy this good. Changing positions, Miguel had your stomach against the bed, drilling you from behind. The strings of your maid uniform giving him even more of a high.

"Fuck, look at you taking your master's dick so well. Does it feel good? Being fucked by your master?"

"Yes, Master~! Please give me more, Master~!" You begged, gripping onto the bedsheets. Miguel pounded your pussy, making sure to fill you with his cum,

"You'll listen to your master's orders then, right? No dating anyone. This pussy is mine."

"Yes, Master!" You trembled as he kept slapping his dick into you.

"You're my personal maid. I'll take care of all your bills and you. You deserve everything, mi amor (my love)." He groaned, watching your pussy suck his dick more, "Fuck, you look so good with my dick in you. My perfect girl."

"Master!"

        Miguel had you working hard throughout the night. He made sure to take care of you and your issues. You were his personal maid, making sure to take care of all of his 'issues'. Eventually, you graduated from his maid to his wife. 

"C'mon, baby. Say it for me." Miguel groaned as he had you on your back, his dick pounding your pussy, "Just once more."

"Master~" You purred, arching your back as you orgasmed. Miguel moaned in response, giving you his fill,

"That's right, baby. I'm your Master."

[intersex-support]

Intersex Resources: Books, Art, Videos

Here's a list with some resources to learn about intersex community, history, and politics! These include some academic sources and some community sources. I'd love to add sources in other languages and that focus on countries besides the United States, so if anyone has recommendations, please let me know. Continually updating and adding sources.

Reading list:

Intersex History:

"The Intersex Movement of the 1990s: Speaking Out Against Medical and Narrative Violence" by Viola Amato.

Hermaphrodites with Attitude Newsletters.

Jazz Legend Little Jimmy Scott is a Cornerstone of Black Intersex History By Sean Saifa Wall

"Hermaphrodites with Attitude: Mapping the Emergence of Intersex Political Activism" by Cheryl Chase

Chrysalis Quarterly: Intersex Awakening, 1997.

"What Happened at Hopkins: The Creation of the Intersex Management Protocols" by Alison Redick.

Bodies in Doubt: An American History of Intersex by Elizabeth Reis.

Intersex Politics

“A Framework for Intersex Justice.” Intersex Justice Project

"Creating Intersex Justice: Interview with Sean Saifa Wall and Pidgeon Pagonis of the Intersex Justice Project." by David Rubin, Michelle Wolff, and Amanda Lock Swarr.

"Intersex Justice and the Care We Deserve: ‘I Want People to Feel at Home in Their Bodies Again." Zena Sharman.

Critical Intersex edited by Morgan Holmes.

Envisioning African Intersex: Challenging Colonial and Racist Legacies in South African Medicine by Amanda Lock Swarr.

"Intersex Human Rights" by Bauer et al.

Morgan Carpenter's writing

"I Want to Be Like Nature Made Me: Medically Unnecessary Surgeries on Intersex Children in the US." by Human Rights Watch.

Cripping Intersex by Celeste E. Orr.

"From ‘Intersex’ to ‘DSD’: A Case of Epistemic Injustice" by Ten Merrick.

"Did Bioethics Matter? A History of Autonomy, Consent, and Intersex Genital Surgery." by Elizabeth Reis.

Intersex Community

"Normalizing Intersex: Personal Stories from the Pages of Narrative Inquiry in Bioethics." edited by James DuBois and Ana Iltis.

Hans Lindhal's blog.

InterACT Youth Blog.

Intersex Justice Project Blog.

"What it's like to be a Black Intersex Woman" by Tatenda Ngwaru.

Intersex Inclusive Pride Flag by Valentino Vecchietti.

The Interface Project founded by Jim Ambrose.

Intersex Zines from Emi Koyama

Teen Vogue's Intersex Coverage

YOUth& I: An intersex youth Anthology by Intersex Human Rights Australia

Intersex OwnVoices books collected by Bogi Takacs.

Memoirs:

Nobody Needs to Know by Pidgeon Pagonis.

Inverse Cowgirl by Alicia Roth Weigel

XOXY by Kimberly Zieselman

Fiction:

Icarus by K Ancrum.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Video/Audio

Every Body dir. Julie Cohen.

Hermaphrodites Speak! 1997.

Liberating All Bodies: Disability Justice and Intersex Justice in Conversation.

"36 Revolutions of Change: Sean Saifa Wall."

Inter_View: An Intersex Podcast by Dani Coyle

Hans Lindhal's Youtube channel.

What it's Like to be Intersex from Buzzfeed.

Emilord Youtube channel

I'm intersex-ask me anything from Jubilee

What it's like to be Intersex-Minutes With Roshaante Andersen.

Pass the Mic: Intercepting Injustice with Sean Saifa Wall

Art

"Hey AAP! Get your Scalpels Off Our Bodies!" 1996.

Ana Roxanne's album Because of a Flower.

Intersex 1 in 90 potraits by Lara Aerts and Ernst Coppejans

Anyone can be Born Intersex: A Photo-Portrait Story by Intersex Nigeria.

Pidgeon Pagonis "Too cute to be binary" Collection

Juliana Huxtable Visual Art

Koomah's art

Please feel free to add on your favorite sources for intersex art, history, politics, and community !

[ms-demeanor]

My mom has gone full on Youtube Woo "natural cures" and I have no idea how to get through to her. Literally sitting at home in front of the tv playing video after video of pseudoscientific bunk and lapping it up... She's diabetic and a cancer survivor and I fear she's gonna do irreparable damage in her forays into the deep end...

Do you have any tips on reaching folks that are in this deep?

Regular reinforcement of evidence-based medicine as kind as you can make it whenever it comes up.

"Oh I heard about this coffee enema thing..." "There's not really any evidence to back that up, mom, and besides, it sounds pretty unpleasant."

"Oh I heard about how nightshades are poison" "That book doesn't have a lot of great evidence, plus here are the kinds of micronutrients that you can get from nightshades, they're important in your diet."

"Oh I'm not sure about vaccines anymore, the new ones are so scary" "Mom, I'm so glad you got me vaccinated, I think about how kids younger than me are at risk of measles and other issues because of vaccine hesitancy and I worry so much for them, I think you made the right decision when I was a kid and I'm grateful for it."

"Oh, but fluoride in the water can cause IQ losses in young children," "Mom, those studies aren't in areas where fluoride is added, they're in areas where it's naturally high and are way, way above what gets added here, plus look at you and me, we have been drinking fluoridated water and we're both smart."

IDK, it's miserable. Basically you go on natural news and learn about all the lies, then spend twenty times as much time learning about the debunkings for all the lies and then try to be nice when you tell them they're wrong.

Since your mom has had previous successful treatment from allopathic doctors call back to that; "but mom I'm so glad they were able to take care of your cancer - I know it was hard but I think you might not have survived if you hadn't trusted your doctors." "but mom, look at how much the medical science on diabetes has improved in your lifetime; i'm glad it's easier to manage now than it was when you were younger, and that there are better treatments being developed all the time; I don't think they're hiding things from us otherwise they'd still treat diabetes and cancer like they did in the 50s, and things are so much better than that."

Just. Try to be nice. Try not to attack her. Try to keep it light and offer cheerful arguments before changing the subject.

You don't want her to get defensive, you want her to consider you to be someone she can ask for information who won't make fun of her and doesn't think she's stupid.

Anyway. Life with my mother in law has been fun recently. She watched a youtube video and decided she must have gone into ketosis after fasting for twelve hours so she ordered a bunch of protein strips and I'm cooking for her a few times a week to guarantee that she's eating something other than canned chili beans.

So. You know. I feel you.

[lieutenantfloyd]

How they react when you’re on your period (Headcanons)

Characters: Gambit, Deadpool, and Wolverine.

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, domestic bliss, mentions of pain, mentions of blood and getting stabbed (thanks, Wade!) — Reader is gender neutral but has a uterus!

Authors Note: Got kinda caught up with life and writing and forgot to post for a week, but I'm back now lol

Gambit:

Remy is the biggest, softest teddy bear ever when it comes to you

seeing you tired and uncomfortable feels like a punch in the gut for him, so he makes it his mission to right things

Anything you need or want, he'll get for you

Need better painkillers? He's already at the store.

Just want to take a nap together? He’s dragging you to the nearest soft surface and holding you for hours

He cooks you all of your favorite comfort foods and keeps pints of your favorite ice creams stocked in your freezer

He’s a big, strong guy, and because of his mutation he's always super warm to the touch

Not only does that make him fantastic to cuddle, but he becomes your personal heating pad (and he loves every second of it!)

Remy would go to the ends of the earth to fulfill even your slightest whim, meaning this man won’t sleep until he’s convinced you’re as happy, well fed, and comfortable as can be :)

Deadpool:

whoever said laughter was the best medicine is 100% right

his first line of defense is to distract you with humor

Wade is very used to blood and everything but the way you’re expected to just go about your day like everything is fine while you’re actively bleeding out is crazy to him

so crazy that he honestly finds you kinda scary (which in turn makes him find you even more sexy)

because of that he’d basically becomes your dedicated house husband for a week every month, frilly printed apron included

he’s doing laundry! (with too much soap)

he’s cooking dinner! (it’s burnt on one side, raw on the other, and somehow both over seasoned and extremely bland)

he’s giving you a massage at the end of each day! (theres no catch here. His hands are literal magic)

If your cramps get too bad, he even offers to let you stab him so he can better sympathize with you.

though if you accept, it’ll just leave you both on the couch to groan in pain

Logan:

Logan, bless him, genuinely wouldn't know what to do at first

He knows it's just nature, but that doesn't make seeing you in pain any easier to deal with

It's not long before he becomes committed to fixing it (or at least easing your discomfort)

He'd secretly spend hours researching what he should do in his current situation

only to show up at your door that evening with big gift basket full of your favorite treats and products

Logan is a stoic man, so learning that he memorized all of your favorite things nearly brings you to tears

(but your tears turn into laughter when you see how panicked he is at your reaction)

after you take some medicine, you grab the snacks he brought you and settle in for a cute movie night

this is the only time he’ll let you decide what to watch, and he only groans loudly (no claws this time) when you pick something cheesy or romantic :)

[tsukii0002]

Imagine going to the human world for a vaccine and coming back tired. Cause you know they put some amount of the sickness into the vaccine so your body can figure out how to defeat it. So, imagine that you tell the boys that, like so casually.

Satan: so what do they put in the vaccine

Mc: It's a minute amount of the actual sickness and......

Lucifer: Wait, they make you sick?!

Mc: What no, it doesn't-

Satan: So they are making you sick?!

Mc: What no?!

Asmo: how is that even allowed?!

Mc: oh my, it's FDA approved, I goes through lot of test for it be okay for the population to use!

Levi: WTH IS THE FDA?!

I can just imagine their disbelief, given their privileges as demons with almost absolute immunity, and Mc simply explaining that we have a vaccination card, that antibodies from some people are used to make them, that the first vaccine was made from a pustule from a cow…

Mc: Guys, guys please, it's a very common thing, vaccines have helped to eradicate diseases!

Belphie: I don't believe it, how is injecting you with a disease going to help eliminate it?!

Mc: Because your body learns and -

Mammon: Not if it kills you before!!!!

Mc: *watching them wearily*

Satan: I don't think that's a safe way to treat a human.

Mc: Not you Satan, not you too... the death rate has gone way down since they were invented!!!

Levi: I'm sure that FDA is planning something bad!!!

Lucifer: You are forbidden to go to the human world to treat yourself from now on, we can't leave the health of a fragile human in the hands of those crazy people.

Mc: But- *staring at them* you know what? I'm going to sleep, I'm too tired for this *leaves*

Asmo: What the hell is wrong with nowadays humans injecting themselves with diseases?!!

Beel: Maybe *worried* it's a sacrifice in exchange for that decrease in mortality that Mc said?

Satan: I'm quite confused, the last time I studied human medicine they used leeches….

Lucifer: Anyway Mc is banned from going to the human world *very serious* or consuming anything from the human world until further notice.

.

.

This really is funny, although Satan surely knows about these things, or maybe he stopped reading about that subject 1000 years ago and doesn't believe that medicine has advanced so much in that short period of time 🙄. Thanks for the suggestion, I had a lot of fun 🩷

.

.

[2hightocare]

INFATUATED!

“In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman.” — mini series ❦︎

Synopsis: The feeling of finding a person who makes your tummy do cartwheels everyday, no matter what the situation is.

Pairings: nonidol!jungkook x fem!reader

Warnings: super cute duper fluff, jk being the epitome of every girls dream man. Argument, oc crying, Jungkook wasting money on oc, banter, cussing, flirting. Js super cute cliché shit…

a/n: they’re my babies… they’re so ‘tear in my heart’ coded but after this I might be inactive. I have a paper due in three weeks 10 pages long so…. Plus in my free time I’m working on a series that I will drop the teaser and aesthetic maybe later or tmr🤍🤍🤍 enjoy!! Kithes.

Falling in love with Jungkook was so easy that it scared you. He did everything right, and whenever there was something wrong, he would do anything in his power to make it right. You thought it was too good to be true, and he would just disappear into angel dust if you blinked too fast.

“How do you feel?” Your boyfriend moves your hair out of your face, kissing your forehead in the process. “Warm.” You talk about the fever you have. The covers that were wrapped tightly around you are shredded from you. “Hey!” You pout, shaking from how cold you feel even though the air is off and it’s not cold. “You’re not going to get better, baby.” He pouts back at you, holding the covers tightly on his chest as you try to fight back for it.

“I'm freezing,” you whine, your eyelids fluttering shut as his palm touches your face.

“You’re burning, baby,” he lets you know while sighing.

You had gotten sick yesterday, which had started with a sore throat. You had thought when you would have woken up today it would’ve been gone; spoiler: it got worse.

Jungkook makes his way to his kitchen, opening up the gray cabinet in front of him. He pulls out the tray filled with medicine his mom gave him whenever he moved out around four years ago. He pops open the pill container, taking two small white round pills out before grabbing a water bottle and making his way to you, who’s curled up on his couch.

Jungkook feels like shit whenever he can’t do anything to make you feel better. It didn’t matter what it was; he would do anything in his power to make you feel better. Seeing you sick, your face red from how hot you are, your eyes closed, and curled up from how cold you felt had him thinking that if he could take away your sickness and be sick instead, Jungkook would choose that option in an instant.

He hands you the pills and the water bottle and watches you take them one by one. He remembers when you gawked at him when he took 4 pills at once and learned that you have a fear of the pill going down the wrong tube.

He also remembers that you prefer pills and injections instead of just medicine syrup. Which baffled him, to say the least; how could someone prefer an injection instead of just strawberry-flavored syrup? He laughed at you, which you just shrugged because it was the truth; you preferred to get poked by a needle than just drinking something.

“That’s actually crazy.” Jungkook throws his head backwards as a laugh rips out of his chest. “It’s nasty. I don’t care what flavor it is. I would literally throw it up.” You scrunch your nose, remembering the taste of the medicines your parents literally shoved down your throat so you could get better.

“Don’t get me started on how anything medicine strawberry flavored gives me PTSD till this day.” You shiver from the thought, which has your boyfriend laughing at you.

“I can’t breathe,” you say, your voice scratchy from your sore throat as you breathe from your mouth. “I should’ve enjoyed breathing when I could,” you joke, watching your boyfriend's eyes twinkle. They had a small glimmer to them, making you wonder how that could possibly happen and why you haven't seen it before with anyone else.

Jungkook had no clue how he ended up here… with a girl he met in a chemistry class that accidentally dropped sulfuric acid all over the floor alongside the beaker smashing into tiny pieces. He watched how your eyes widened as a small piece of your hair dropped beautifully in front of your face out of the low ponytail. You had tied it with a blue latex glove as a hair tie since you didn’t have one after no one in class had one to let you borrow.

That was two years ago; now here he was taking care of you as you struggled to breathe from your congested nose.

“Can I get my blanket back?” You pout at him, which he only shook his head with a chuckle.

….

“Get whatever you want,” Jungkook gave your ass a little tap as you entered the makeup store, your eyes widening from excitement. “Don’t say stuff like that,” you give him a look, which has him tilting your face up with his hand.

“Why, baby?” He chuckles, pecking your pouted lips.

“Because it makes me feel things, duh,” you whisper into his lips. He smiles into your mouth. His lip piercing sends cold shocks through your body that has you playfully shoving him away, remembering where you guys are.

“Get whatever you want, and then we can go to the bookstore,” Jungkook picks up the black and white striped little Sephora bag before pointing in front of you to walk.

You giggled as you started looking for the things that have been sitting in your phone cart for a while now. Jungkook follows behind you, stopping whenever you stop to look at the shelves for something before you drop the product in the basket in your boyfriend's hand.

“That’s really cute,” Jungkook mentions the lipstick tester you have in your hand. “You should get it,” he says, tilting his head at you, watching you open the lid being met with a reddish-dark color.

“Don’t you think it’s too dark?” You look up at your smiling boyfriend.

“What?” You giggle as you stare back at him. “You look beautiful,” he says casually, reaching for your beanie and pulling it down a bit more, fixing it. “You literally want me to die right now,” you joke. “Baby!” Jungkook laughs at the tone of voice you used.

“You can’t keep saying things like that without expecting me to literally melt away,” you lean your body onto him while he wraps his strong hands around your much smaller frame as you look up to him.

“I just say whatever is in my mind at the moment, princess,” he explains, giving your waist a small squeeze, making you squirm as the feeling made you ticklish. “Ah!” You laugh as his fingers dig into your rib cage, tickling you.

You push him away as he tries to continue to tickle your tummy. “Stop!” You laugh, trying to get away as far as you can from him.

Jungkook stops when he sees two girls around your guy's age pass beside you both with judging eyes. “Someone’s mad...” Jungkook whispers into your head as you just shake your head with a laugh.

“Let’s leave, I got everything,” you giggle, intertwining your fingers with him, making your way to the line.

When you guys finally get to the line, you are met with a pretty blonde girl, her dimples carved into her skin when she smiles up at you both. “Hi, is that all?” The girl said, you take notice of her name tag.

“Yes, that's all, thank you,” you smile back. “Find everything you wanted?” Genesis asks, as she starts scanning the products. “Yeah, thanks,” you say, playing with the strings of your hoodie as you see the price rise with each scan.

“Card or cash?” Genesis says, as she points to the credit card reader.

“Card,” Jungkook says before you could reply. He pulls out his black card from the back of the phone case, before scanning it through the white card reader without looking at the price. The machine makes a small sound, “here you go, have a wonderful day!” The girl says ripping the receipt before putting it into the white and black bag, handing it to you.

“Thank you, baby,” you say as you walk out the door of the store, Jungkook smiles at you before shrugging. “The least I could do, princess,” he gives your hand three small squeezes, which feels like he’s squeezing your heart as well. “It was expensive as fuck,” you pout at him. “How much?” He asks, “a thousand.” You cringe, scrunching your nose up at realizing the astonishing price. “That’s it?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow before reaching to the passenger side of his car.

“What! You’re crazy,” you say, giving him a slight swat. You watch as the side of his lips quirk up, making you mirror his actions.

“I love you,” you pout, as he leans into his car. “And I love you so much more,” he says, pulling you into him from your waist.

You tipped toe to reach for his lips, his lips mold with yours perfectly as you both were pieces of a puzzle. “How do you want the kiss?” He asks, giving your waist a squeeze. “What is this, a drive-thru? I get to ask what type of kiss I want,” you giggle, letting your forehead drop onto his chest which rumbles with a laugh.

“You get to ask whatever you want from me,” Jungkook rubs your back softly on top of your thick hoodie. “Oh shit,” your eyes widened as you saw the small print of your makeup on his black shirt when you raised your head upwards. “What?” He looks down to his shirt where you’re rubbing your fingers on the dirty print.

“I just ruined your shirt, baby, ahh!” You freak, which has Jungkook laughing while trying to reassure you that it’s fine and he’ll just wash it when he gets home.

As much as you guys had moments like this, you guys had your disagreements. They weren’t as bad where they ended in screaming matches or end up not talking for days, you guys usually make up the same day before going to bed. Jungkook loathed going to bed whenever you two fought; he felt compelled to make things right before even considering sleep.

“Why are you making me feel bad?” You say, your voice cracking, which echoes the fractures in Jungkook's heart. “I’m not, baby. It’s just... I can’t do anything about it,” Jungkook tries to reason with you.

“She was literally all over you, and you didn’t stop it,” you feel your eyes start to water before staring down at your converse.

“She’s my mom's best friend's daughter; I can’t just tell her to fuck off, y/n. I backed off. I can’t control what she does,” Jungkook raises his voice, a tear falling down your cheek as he addresses you by your first name, a departure from his usual endearments, which feels like a knife to your chest.

“Okay, then,” you nod, tears starting to cascade down, smudging your makeup in the process.

Jungkook's throat tightens; he feels like he can't breathe, feeling like shit. He watches you wipe your tears, small sniffles escaping your mouth. “I’m going to go,” you sniffle, turning your back to him and reaching for your bag.

“No, don't leave, let’s talk this out,” Jungkook implores, turning you around to face him. He reaches for your cheeks, wiping away the tears that continue to fall down your puffy cheeks. “You’re hurting me,” you say, with a sniffle.

“I know. I’m fucking sorry, baby,” he feels his heart racing, wanting to die for making you feel bad for caring about him.

“Why didn’t you push her away or say something? You made me look fucking stupid, Jungkook,” you cry, recalling the pang of feeling as Kailey flirted with him in front of his family, and he did nothing to stop it, leaving you feeling small and insignificant.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he kisses away your tears, trying to soothe the ache in your heart. “I promise I’ll shove her off whenever I see her, and if I have the chance to avoid her, I will,” he whispers into your cheek with each kiss he leaves on your face.

“Promise?” You whisper, finally meeting his worried eyes.

“Promise, baby,” he whispers back, holding eye contact with your red, puffy eyes.

“I hate making you cry; please forgive me,” Jungkook pulls you into him, hugging you tightly as if afraid you'll slip away. “I forgive you, just don’t do it ever again,” you sniffle into his chest, feeling the throb in your heart melt away.

“I love you,” he says, swaying you both in the middle of his living room.

“I love you,” you sniffle.

….

"But the Maze Runner is so good," you literally whine at your boyfriend, who is in the middle of changing his shirt.

"Yeah, but not as good as Spiderman," he says, poking his head out the shirt hole with a grin.

"Okay, true, but the Maze Runner is just as good; you need to read the book to understand," you mumble, trying to separate a piece of hair from your mouth as you curl another strand with your wand.

"You just have a huge crush on Dylan O’Brian, let’s be honest," your boyfriend chuckles, sending you a look through the mirror, to which you just roll your eyes back at him, acknowledging a) that he was right. b) he was literally right.

“Says the boy who had a crush on Fluttershy when we watched My Little Pony,” you say, giving him a 'don’t try me' look. His jaw falls before giving your hair a tiny soft pull.

"You said you wouldn’t bring it up," he laughs before shaking his head with a chuckle. "Well..." you just shrug.

“Fluttershy reminds me of you,” Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers playing with your freshly curled hair. “Until you act like a brat,” he tugs on your hair, making your head snap backwards, where he leaves a big fat smooch on your lips.

“Okay, princess, let’s go,” he says before unplugging the curling wand wire, grabbing your bag and coat, before holding your hand and leading you outside.

[girlypopbops]

⋆˙⟡Ultimate Self Care Sunday Guide ⋆˙⟡

☆.。.:*·°☆.。.:*·°☆.。.:*·°☆.。.:*·°☆.。.:*·°☆.。.:*·°☆.。.:*·°☆

When I think about Sundays I think about rejuvenation and pleasure ; enjoying the day while doing a weekly reset.

On Sundays I like to sleep in and get that well deserved beauty sleep, the key to any successful reset is being well rested and grounded.

♡ (10:00am) Wake up, take my time waking up & lay in bed for a few mins, stretch and take some deep breaths, positive affirmations

"Today I am grateful for..."

"I deserve to treat my body with love and care today."

"I am committed to improving myself and achieving my goals daily."

♡ Open the blinds, straighten up room, and make bed. Starting the day with a bright and neat room is a simple and refreshing way to start the day off on the right foot, a small achievement as soon as you step out of bed will inspire you to keep going.

♡ Drink water & take my meds and supplements. Since it had been hours since I had any water hydrating is super important, and since I'm already taking my medicine might as well finish the glass off.

♡ Journal and plan day. Having a game plan and a clear mind before doing any real tasks sets the foundation for a productive day and promotes mindfulness. I like to have rose quartz, clear quartz, and amethyst on my desk while I journal to set peaceful intentions and promote self love. I have a five minute journal so I begin by thinking of 3 things I'm grateful for, one affirmation, and 3 things I can do for the day that will make it great. Typically on Sundays taking my time, being attentive, and being proactive are my goals for making the day great. I'll then make a to-do list for the day.

♡ Skin care and comfy clothes. Washing my face, moisturizing and putting on sunscreen is the perfect simple skin care for running errands, I usually wear some sweat pants and a t-shirt to finish the fit.

♡ Breakfast! I always like to have lots of fruit and a sweet treat on Sundays as part of my breakfast as a treat for getting through the prior week.

♡ Reset cleaning session. I like to do a full vacuum of my space, mop, wipe everything down, run the dish washer, and do my laundry. Other cleaning tasks vary based on the week but I like to make sure I am doing those tasks weekly. I also like to make sure to wash towels on Sunday since sometimes I'll do laundry on Wednesday and don't do towels then.

♡ Ultimate shower vibe time. The everything shower of my dreams after being all sweaty from cleaning. ( I have a post about this already on my page!)

♡ Light a candle and set the vibes with some mood lighting.

♡ Do my full skin care routine, face mask ect...

♡ A nice filling dinner & tv show. I love a Sunday night pasta dish with a Diet Coke while watching Pretty Little Liars.

♡ Journal. My five minute journal has a section to do in the evening, it asks to write down 3 highlights of the day and what lesson you learned for the day. It's a nice way to look back fondly on the day.

♡ Read. I like to read before bed since it helps me to fall asleep! I've been reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn!

♡ (10:30pm) Night time meds & slumber!

[lokis-army-77]

In Thanks

Masc!Mizu x fem reader

Word Count: 1.8k

You have been traveling with Mizu for a little bit and you can't help the feelings that have developed. Maybe it's time for a thank you.

Warning: 18 +. oral sex, fingering, slight choking, scissoring. I think that's it...

A/N: Be forewarned, Mizu is referred to as "he" the whole fic except for one instance.

Masterlist

You had become his traveling companion in a series of fortunate and unfortunate events. 

Unfortunately, your father had sold you to the flesh traders for money he could use to save the farm from disrepair. 

While on the road to another town, the two traders had begun to fight, Mizu was haplessly brought into the scrap when he was seen by the two agitated men. They turned their sights on the lone man just trying to pass by. 

Fortunately, he had killed your owners. At first, he was intent on escorting you to the nearest town and leaving you there in pursuit of his revenge, only that plan changed when you had proved to be useful when it came to medicine. 

A few weeks later left you here, on the outskirts of a small remote seaside town.

Mizu's eyes watch you from the other side of the campfire. They flick so subtly, catching your every move, or lack thereof as you continue to stare. 

It hadn't taken you long to learn the secret he was hiding or rather she was hiding. There were subtle tells, ones that no one would be able to notice or think back on or they were just passersby. But you had been at his side for nearly two months and it was so obvious to you.

"Would you quit staring- it's rude." Mizu quips before going back to cleaning his blade. 

You don't listen. Keeping your eyes firmly glued on his movements, the flexing of muscles under his skin, and the touch of his slender fingers rubbing at the blood on his sword. All of it made your knees weak.

While you had been with Mizu on the road, you had begun to develop feelings for the stoic warrior. Feelings of love and lust. Only now did you feel brave enough to do something about it, and act on these feelings no matter the consequences. 

Your thighs clenched as you continued to watch him. Now was as good a time as any. 

Mizu only tilts his head in your direction when the sound of you standing reaches his ears. Twigs snap under your feet as you make your way closer to him. he turns fully to you now, analyzing whatever it is you could be doing, and why you were nearing him. 

“What do you want?”

You didn’t want to come right out and say it, so you spoke coyly. “I never thanked you properly for saving me. I thought I could do that now.”

“You’ve thanked me enough.” 

“But I haven’t done all that I could. Please, Mizu, allow me to thank you fully.” You’re right next to him now, slowly lowering yourself to your knees. 

Sultry eyes lock on suspicious ones.

With gentle hands, you reach out for his glasses. he leans away only slightly, not far enough to be out of your reach. 

You place them safely on the stool-sized rock beside you. 

“Let me see your sword.”

She breathes your name heavily. 

Your hand caresses over his shoulder, teasing and soft. 

"I'm not what you think." Mizu murmurs just loud enough for you to hear.

You pause before you answer. "You think I don't know? That I do not see past the defense and deeper within? I know." 

His words catch in his throat. "-how?"

"You aren't the first I've seen that have hidden their sex from the world, and you won't be the last." Your fingers loosen the string tying up his hair. The silky strands begin to fall, making his all the more stunning. 

"I've learned to see what many do not and what others would like to keep hidden... call it a gift."

You let your lips fall to the shell of his ear and whisper, “Now, let me see your sword.”

Reaching into his lap, you grasp the hilt of the blade. Carefully you take the katana and sheth it before setting it near the rock. 

She doesn’t stop you when you begin to untie his pants or the obi around his waist. 

Clothes fall away leaving only warm, scarred skin bare to you. Mizu’s breathing deepens as the binds around his chest are removed. 

Slowly you crawl over his body, forcing him to lie back on the cape he used as a blanket. 

Your eyes scanned over his every curve, curves hidden away by the straight lines of men’s clothes. The cool night air had his nipples pebbling and his skin littered with goosebumps. 

With lust-filled eyes, you descend on him. Lips making contact with his own. It wasn’t tender, no it was needy. You wanted him, all of him and he wanted you too. his hands reach your face, pulling you in deeper. 

The kiss leaves you breathless but you continue to kiss him, pulling away from his lips to kiss down the column of his neck and to his chest. You wet your lips hungrily as you take his peeked nipple into your mouth, your other hand teasing the other. 

Teeth nip and pull at the sensitive skin. Your tongue laves over him, pulling out a soft moan of your name. It has you smirking into the supple flesh. 

You trail down further, peppering kisses over taut abs before you come to the place you have so desperately craved to be. The smell is sweet but you know the taste will be even sweeter.

“Thank you, Mizu.” You pull apart his strong, slender legs, inserting yourself between them. 

“Thank you.” You kiss the inside of a thigh then move to the other. “Thank you.”

You lay there with his legs thrown over your shoulders, admiring the pussy before you. Your mouth is watering as you trail a single finger over the slit. 

Mizu sucks in, body tensing, preparing. 

You move your mouth in closer, tongue lapping at the wetness between his folds. The taste had you moaning, the sweet yet heady taste filled your mouth and you knew you'd never get enough of it now. 

Pressing on, you began sucking Mizu's clit. Hands flew into your hair, tugging in pleasure. You could feel his nails scratching your scalp.

“Taste so good.” You hum against him. 

Your left-hand strokes over his firm abdomen while two fingers of your left slowly insert themselves inside Mizu's entrance. 

He's so warm and wet, clenching down around you, pulling you in with need. With lidded eyes, you look up, past the roaming landscape of his body, at his face. His brow is furrowed, pinched in pleasure as your fingers work into his walls. His mouth is open, jaw slacked as sweet gasp after sweet gasp erupts. It’s a wondrous sight to behold and all you’ve ever wanted to be privy to. 

Those gasps turn into short whimpers once your rhythm steadies out and your mouth sucks slightly harder on his clit. His hips buck up, pushing against your mouth as need courses through him. You feel like you’re in a trance, your eyes still locked onto his face as he continues to breathe heavily, lost in a pleasure escalating with each passing second. You keep going, determined to make him feel as incredible as possible.

The sloppy noises of you eating Mizu out have your stomach turning, fluttering with want. You know for certain that your own cunt is dripping, making a mess. You need more than just the pressure of your legs squeezing together, no, you need to feel Mizu against you. 

In the heat of the passion, you pull away. Mizu whines at the loss of your fingers and mouth. “What are-” He stops his question short. You’re throwing off the layers of your clothes, tossing them haphazardly around the forest floor.

With determination you crawl over one of his legs, slotting yourself against him. A breathy sigh leaves your lips when you lower yourself. 

With slow subtle rotations of your hips, you begin to feel the want bubbling in your belly pouring forth. The feel of his cunt against your own is like heaven. Your clit rubbing against his sends a jolt through you. 

“Fuck, I’ve never- ah- I’ve never done this.” He grunts. One hand holds you by the hip, guiding you as you grind down. Your own hands hold fast on his thigh in front of you. 

“Neither have I,” You answer between choppy moans. 

As you piston your hips, you can feel the wetness between the two of you growing. You both groan in pleasure, your hands moving to explore each other's bodies. His fingers trace circles around your breast and you shiver in delight. You heave when Mizu’s hand reaches for your throat and pulls you down into a kiss.

His tongue slips past your lips, pushing back against your own. You may be on top and in control at the moment, but there simmering below Mizu’s surface was a want to flip you both over and take the pleasure that had been so far from his mission of revenge, he had forgotten what it felt like to feel another persons touch in this manner. 

Your back arches at the growing ecstasy within your body and Mizu’s hand tightens. The air is stolen from your lungs for only a moment before he lets go, moaning into your kiss. 

 “Thank you.” You repeat once more. 

You can feel the ache in your abdomen as you move, you’re coming closer and closer to release, and by the way that Mizu is rutting his hips against you, strong and needy, you know he’s close too. 

“Look at me.” You plead, “Wanna see your pretty eyes.”

A deep red blush rises across Mizu’s cheeks at your words, not used to the compliment. The blush makes the topaz color stand out. You could stare into those eyes forever, get lost, and never leave. 

Your bodies move in unison, your ragged breaths become one as you both tip toward the edge. With one more thrust, with one more rub of your clits, your bodies tense. Your mouth opens in a silent scream of pleasure while Mizu lets out a wavering cry.

The movement of your hips slows to a stop and you fall in a heap over Mizu’s body. Tiredly you kiss the sweat-dampened skin of his chest, and he shivers. “Thank you.” You mummer one last time. 

Mizu’s hands hold you close, one in your hair, the other flat across your back. “You don’t have to keep thanking me.” 

“I know,”  you look up into his eyes, “but I want to.”

He keeps eye contact as he wipes the hair from your face. “I appreciate this… I haven’t felt this way in a long while.” 

It’s an intimate moment, one of understanding without having to speak. So, you rest your head and close your eyes, too warn out to redress and too tired to move. Mizu also doesn't move to push you away, you take that as a sign that whatever this is, it has a very good chance of happening again. 

[neoraso]

bf things with riize

shotaro:

is always your biggest cheerleader. listens to all your concerns and comforts you in the best way he can

loves meeting your friends and having you be close with his

is so excited to get to know you and learn everything he can about you - don't mind him he's just collecting data so he can love you even more ;>

is very much in it for the long haul with you- like he wouldn't be with you if he couldn't really see a future with you. he's pretty young and wouldn't really want to settle down until the future but he's planning on being with you as long as he can-often tells you this

wants to be the most positive, safe and uplifting person in your life. expect a lot of big hugs with back rubs, high fives where he intertwines your fingers ♡

eunseok:

he's pretty masculine but also very nonchalant about it. your man. takes care of things for you wordlessly, tucks you in, carries your bags etc.

pretends to be cocky/annoyed by your clinginess but literally becomes a "where's my hug at?" guy when he walks in the door. like if u don't at least give him a kiss hello he's like wth,,, is everything ok with my baby

will pretty much go along with whatever you want.. like if you want to watch a disney movie he'll be like i'm completely indifferent on what we watch but as long as it makes u happy

peels fruit for you and feeds it to you because he likes watching you eat.

so attentive. makes sure you're taking your medicine/vitamins, that you're sleeping well and making it to all your appointments, fulfilling all your responsibilities.

sungchan:

prefers to stay at your house over everything,, u gave him a key and he abuses the privilege- like you come home from work/school and he's just in ur bed .. sometimes even asleep and ur like ok sure??

idk how to explain ,, he's like that typical older guy like brother's best friend vibes just always playful, flirty, teasing but all out of love.

ur just his which he reminds you of daily .. "how's my baby," "my favorite girl doing ok?" "you know you're my angel right?"

loves to attack you with love. pushes you on the bed so he can lay all his weight on you (WILL fall asleep like this if you're not careful), tugs on your hair to get you to look at him , pokes or tickles you if he thinks you're not paying enough attention to him

in that vein, very protective of you. if someone is bothering you or just making life difficult he is ready and willing to throw hands. you can tell bc his jaw clenches and his nose flares just a bit until ur like,,sungchan it's really fine just annoying,,, and he's like mmhm sure (still rubs your arm and back to calm himself down..)

wonbin:

holds your hand as long as he can wherever yall go. like if he's saying goodbye :< waits until the door is about to smash his hand to let go of yours

once you get to the stage where he trusts you to share his worries with ..,,, u are locked in like u are 4lifers

teases his friends a lot but is literally putty in your hands like he will do anything for you and would never want you to question his affection for you

best listener . full eye contact (even if it makes you blush) usually playing with your fingers too. brings up things you've mentioned before and ur like,, how do you even remember this I don't even remember this

lowk needs reassurance and his heart gets so warm when you sincerely tell him how you feel and how much you love and appreciate him

seunghan:

finds anything remotely heart-shaped and points it out to you or texts you a picture.

you are literally his baby.,,, even if you're older, you are his baby. adores you, dotes on you, spoils you, feeds you, etc.

so affirming and validating whenever you rant to him. pets your hair and pouts "really baby? that sounds so frustrating but you're doing so well handling it. i'm here if you need me to fight someone :>" (has never fought anyone in his life)

hypeman hypeman hypeman. encourages you in everything you do and will show his support in forms of kisses, sweet words and texts

unlike sungchan he wont be so ,,... intrusive when he can't see you often but he does video call you as much as he can because he NEEDS to check on his lovely lover sweetie pie angel

sohee:

thinks all your quirks are so endearing and makes him fall even deeper for you

wants to learn your native language so bad so he can be closer to you and meet you halfway in communication

sooooo appreciates how you listen to him and his day, his worries, his dreams. wants to be there for you just as much ♡

i think he'd like to leave you little gifts even if it's like a post it note with a candy and a little encouraging message, or something bigger like shoes or a jacket or jewelry you've been eyeing

though he has so much energy, he also loves recharging at home with you, just snuggling and sharing little kisses and snacks.

anton:

appreciates how you never push him out of his comfort zone, grabs your hand as a silent ask for support.

loves to have fun with you ,, going out with you, watching and making silly tiktoks even just laying around and chilling with you makes him so happiiii

will hug you or backhug you and for some reason gets shy and shocked when you kiss him bc he's so cute

yall definitely started as besties ,, so you're already pretty close as a couple except now you get to kiss and stuff which he thinks is pretty great.

has 282922892 pics of you in his phone, printed , polaroids. he’s too shy to hang them up but he keeps one in his wallet and in his phone case to feel like you’re with him all the time :>

[yoredoesmore]

Old Habits Don't Die | Hoshina Soshiro

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x Reader

genre: fluff/a lil romance/slowburn/enemies to lovers

summary: your childhood enemy still gives you a hard time even after all these years.

wc: 3k

Taglist: @adimelymanner @soshirohoshinasimp @istarluvx @hoshinasblade

“Mrs. Yuki! Soshiro stole my building blocks again!” A voice yelled out. It did not take much to depict the clear annoyance and irritation that were laced into the cry. And if it wasn't obvious enough that you were moments away from lashing out on the other kid, the deep frown on your face served the purpose of further indicating your strong emotions of anger.

“They don't belong to ya!” Soshiro claimed boldly, completely disregarding the possible threat you would turn into, and continued to dangle the red pieces just slightly out of your reach. It was in that moment where you felt deep sympathy for bulls and learned to understand how seeing a simple color could drive on to go such lengths.

Kindergarten was supposed to be a place free from complications and pressure, for the children at least, yet you found yourself in a solid cloud of stress constantly. The source of your worrying state being no other than Hoshina Soshiro.

"You can't hog the animal plushies, you have to share them, Soshiro!”

“So that they end up stinking like ya?? "No way!"

The boy's snarky remarks were often followed by a rude motion of similar disrespect. Darting out his tongue and giving you nasty grimaces have become an everyday occurrence. You have thought about smacking him too many times, more than you would like to admit but you refused to lower yourself to his antics.

Besides the constant nagging and stealing, Soshiro loved to call you names. Pigtails had turned into a bad word when taken into his mouth and it has even come so far that he no longer used your name and rather referred to you by your hairstyle.

You sat neatly tucked in one of the reading corners, the world but just a mere background sound to you. The picture book held images that you have never seen before, it was deeply interesting. Caught up in the moment and feelings, you did not notice the malicious source approaching you.

By the time you took notice of his presence it was already too late.

Soft hands reached out for your pigtails, slightly pulling you up by the hair. The motion was more sudden than painful, yet you still let out a loud scream. Almost immediately, one of the caretakers came to your aid and you wasted no time telling them about Hoshinas' antics.

He was sentenced to 15 minutes in the corner after.

A sly, almost triumphant smile sat on your lips, watching the boy finally get the punishment he deserved. And of course you did not fail to show him your jolliness.

“Serves you right!” You cheerfully exclaimed, tongue darted out to give him a taste of his own medicine. The boy simply rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“All ya do is cry cry cry, that's no fun!” It appeared that Soshiro was more upset about you ending his antics before he could even start, rather than having to carry out the punishment. His eyes sat on yours for a while, as if he was trying to communicate something, but then he returned his gaze to the corner for good.

The day went on, and to your surprise, Soshiro did not even think about approaching you. The moments felt peaceful and calm, yet something was missing. Once again, you found yourself in a play corner, building towers that were meant to reach great heights. A figure approached you and it was no other than Mrs. Yuki.

“The tower looks amazing, Y/n!” She cheered you on, earning a smile from you.

“Without Soshiro here, I can make it even higher than before!” You cheerfully chimed.

“True, at last there is peace. But it must also be boring without him, right?” She suddenly suggested

“Not at all! Soshiro is sooo noisy, like a goose! I'm glad that he is no longer around to bother me.” You said firmly, standing your ground. The woman simply chuckled, her hands finding themselves in your hair to give it a strong ruffle.

She had a certain look in her eyes, one you found yourself unsure of. Then she left.

Whatever they told Soshiro after getting out of the corner had a strong effect on the boy for the remaining day. He stopped bothering or insulting you and when he had to start a conversation, he made sure to address you by your proper name. The newly established peace felt great for a while, but as the day moved on, it began to bore you out indeed. You missed the old dynamic and how he used to enthusiastically approach you just to get on your nerves again– but of course you would never admit that.

Did you break him? The Soshiro who was known as the powerhouse of your kindergarten group?

A subtle frown accompanied you on your way to the front door where your mother was waiting for you for pick up. Once again, you were so deep in thought that you did not notice the kid that was running right at you.

And then you felt someone harshly pull on your pigtails.

“Soshirooo!” You started crying and Mrs. Yuki already came to your aid to comfort you.

The boy topped off his harassment by showing you the nastiest expression known by a child, or mankind, his tongue spitting at you from a distance.

Old habits unfortunately never die.

After that day, he was put into a different kindergarten group, to no one's surprise. You still saw him every now and then but it never came to any big interactions besides on excursions. But even then, the caretakers made sure that you stayed unbothered by him.

The moments of silence soon turned into solid years. You almost forgot what it felt like, to experience true anger during elementary and middle school. Of course there were some pesky and annoying peers every here and there but none of them had the unfortunate effect that Soshiro had on you. Thus, life remained livable until you reached the academy.

Like a vicious circle everything fell back into place, the insults, the bickering, the testing of your patience– it was like a bad joke that repeated itself over and over again.

“Students are not allowed to use the training rooms on the third floor, they are strictly reserved for the higher ranked students. It's written in the student manual, very hard to skip, unless you don't read it of course..” You spat sternly, the last part coming out as a mocking whisper. You took your job as a student council member as serious as ever and especially Soshiro got to feel the abuse of your powers.

“Calm down, Pigtails.” He replied, not even looking at you as he continued with his stretching.

“Literally nobody cares besides ya and yer stupid manual book. The training rooms downstairs are too crowded– and besides, the higher ranked students barely come up here.”

Whenever you tried to use rules and order on this guy, Soshiro would simply disregard you. It was a constant back and forth with the man, a nightmare that you desperately hoped to escape one day..

11 years later…

“We should get the report back soon.” Okonogi said, a soft smile twirling on her lips as she looked up at you. You nodded your head, exercising one last bow before exiting the room.

You had just started your job at the Defense Force, specifically, as the operations Vice Leader for the Third Division alongside Okonogi.

Today is going to be another all nighter You thought and sighed.

It has always been your dream to secure this position and after hard training and lots of extra studying you finally made it.

Your eyes scanned through the countless files in your hands, trying to figure out which one you should tackle first.

It was a habit of yours, (one you desperately tried to get rid off) blending out everything and everyone around you the moment your eyes fell on a text. You walked in wonky motions, shadowing as many passages as possible before reaching your destination. To your luck, the last time you checked (two minutes ago) the hallway was empty.

It was peaceful all around you, so much that you even began to humm a melody. But what pulled you back into reality was the sharp pain that suddenly spread through your skull, inflicted by a flick to your forehead.

“Watch it, Pigtails.” A light, yet cocky voice suddenly spoke into the silence.

What the..

Your body froze over from head to toe, all senses on high alert. The man who made the comment simply kept walking, not even bothering with your presence. All that remained of him was the soft tone of his voice in the back of your head and the burning feeling his fingers had left behind on your head.

“Soshiro..?”

*

All night was spent thinking about the black haired individual and the memories you were taken back to. The Hoshina Soshiro, the child who made your childhood a mess and caused you stress beyond imagination, he was now working at the exact same place you applied for. What a joke.

Since you both went to Tokyo Neutralization University, you figured that he was going to walk down this path but to end up at the exact same Division..that was simply your bad luck.

Those thoughts accompanied you throughout the remaining day– and their weight was evident on your face. Okonogi took notice of the change in your usually cheerful demeanor and wasted no time in addressing the matter.

“Is all well? You seem a little out of it today.” Her voice sat laced in concern and worry.

“Oh yes, no worries please. It’s just..I think I ran into an old acquaintance of mine yesterday. Here in the building. Haven't seen him in a while and we go like, wayyy back.” The chuckle that left your lips was drenched in awkwardness and discomfort. You placed a strong emphasis on the words acquaintance, refusing to refer to him as enemy or bully to not create a misunderstanding.

Okonogi shook her head in an understanding manner before returning her attention back to her screen.

“Sounds great. Why not talk to him and ask how he has been? I'm sure he was just as surprised to see you again.”

It was such simple advice, easy to digest and execute, yet you immediately knew that you could not follow it. Walking up to him of all people would destroy your mind, even thinking about it had your head spinning.

While the thoughts in your head once again went spiraling, you failed to notice the appearance of a new presence. The door opened and almost immediately all the workers around you stopped their work and researches in their tracks to greet the individual, all but you.

Okonogi gave you a soft nudge against the shoulders in an attempt to get your attention but you failed to react in time. A soft “hm?” was all she managed to acquire, while your eyes stayed focused on your lap. And when you finally turned your head to the direction she was looking at, all you were met with was the back of a clipboard that was milliseconds away from colliding with your head.

Thud

You groaned. The weight of the item came crashing down on your head out of nowhere. It hurt your pride more than it did your body and the discomfort was clearly displayed on your face.

“Normally I don't need to go such lengths to get my subordinates attention, Pigtails.”

Almost immediately your eye shot open and locked with the man who stood before your seated figure. Your heart tightened into a knot and for a second, you could feel a slight gush of heat sweep over your face.

“Hoshina..” Your eyes held a shimmer the man did not know existed. Astonishment and fright, two so distant emotions, came together in your eyes to create something indescribable.

“..Address me with Captain if you seek my acknowledgement. Now, pay attention or move somewhere else.” Without allowing your heart or mind to catch up to the situation, Captain Hoshina moved back to the center of the room to make the announcement he came for.

There he was, an old enemy, right in front of you. The years have only done him favors. Although he never abandoned the bowl cut, his face has grown into that of a man, handsome with no imperfections to be found. His body too has adapted to his age and profession. Lean muscles and a fit build– he was far from unattractive.

Hoshina had come to pass down some information about the approval of the request the operation team put in a while ago about improvements on both the suit supervision and training program. (Un)fortunately (you were conflicted about his sudden visit) he did not stay for too long, bidding the room goodbye before disappearing as fast as he came. But before fully exiting the room he made sure to shoot you one last look.

“He has changed..” You whispered, thinking about the vigilant rebel you once had to deal with who somehow managed to transform into a high ranked supervisor. Never would you have thought that Hoshina would be one to play by the rules, that simply left you speechless.

From there on no day went by without him somehow finding a way to disturb your work life. He wasn't as persistent or flashy as back then but he made sure to pull you out of your little daydreams or sneak up at you when you were idly walking around the hallways.

Old habits truly never die.

If it wasn't for Okonogi taking care of you every now and then, sending you little notes in which she reminded you to eat enough or covering you up with a blanket whenever the all nighters had you falling asleep at your desk, you would have imploded from exhaustion.

Today was that kind of day. You had fallen asleep around 9pm in your small office and found yourself wrapped up in a cozy blanket. You smiled softly, rubbing the remaining sleep out of your eyes as you got up and folded the rug into a neat cube.

After taking a long and calculated look at the papers you had worked on before drifting off, you decided that you have truly done enough for the day and deserved to sleep in a proper bed.

Therefore you left all as it was and moved forth to exit your office. But as you pulled open the door and took the first step out, you were met with a view that had you thinking that this might be a dream after all.

Soshiro stood leaned against the wall across the hallway, arms crossed over his chest and surprise written all over his face. It seemed like neither of you had expected the other here.

“Soshiro?” It was evident in your voice that you had just woken up.

“Yer awake already?” The way he was asking the question sounded like you were not supposed to be, which left you even more confused.

“What are you doing here?” Although still tired, you did not allow yourself to ease your guard. Knowing him, he was never too tired to spit out a snarky remark or send something flying against your forehead again. But waiting for you in front of your office? That was too much, even for you.

Hoshina did not answer your question immediately, allowing it to float around in the air for a moment before picking it up again. His body moved forward, abandoning the support of the wall and inching closer to you. His arme remained locked though.

“Came to check on ya.”

“The truth please, I'm too tired for this.”

“I ain't lying..don't make this awkward.”

The sudden switch up in his demeanor from sarcastic to soft already made the situation awkward enough, but fortunately for him, you were indeed too tired to properly react. And you could not deny, his softness did manage to peak your interest.

“Yer always doing the most, putting effort into tasks that did not need all that endeavor. I already knew when I first saw ya here that yer were going to burn that little skull of yers out.” His fingers, surprise to none, poked your forehead, slightly pushing you back. You groaned, ready to go off on him but he cut you off.

“So I came to check on ya..every now and then. Maybe, I don't know, because I felt bad for stuff.. “ Hoshina did not finish that sentence, he didn't have to, his emotions were written all over his face.

His words took your mind into a distant space where nothing made sense and all that was floated around in the atmosphere. Hoshina changed. It took him a decade and fragments of his old persona remained but he was not entirely the same anymore. Little you would have died to experience this moment.

Wait a second..

“So those notes and the food on my desk– and the blankets..that was you?” The only reply the man was able to give you was a subtle nodding of his head.

And in exactly that moment your heart skipped a beat.

You immediately felt repulsed. The fact that he of all people was the cause for your fastened heartbeat was a difficult thought to stomach but somewhere, deep down, you were smiling.

“Oh, yer pigtails came undone while ya were asleep.” Hoshina acknowledged, trying to divert the gravity of this conversation to another point. The tension had indeed become so thick it was almost palpable.

“Oh no..I took them out after a certain someone mocked me for them today. He said something along the lines about how they're not fit for such a serious work environment.” You shot him a judgy look and rolled your eyes to which he replied with scoff.

“I was just joking, ya gotta stop taking everything so seriously. Besides,” Soshiros's hands suddenly moved up to your hair, caressing it in gentle motions.

“I think they look cute. Always have.”

He was teasing you again, he had to be. The gentle smile on his face and the soft blush that hushed over his cheeks, he must be toying with you, right? Just like back then in kindergarten, where he would add cute hair clips into your hair without you noticing at first or changing your name cards so you would sit next to him during lunch, he was simply goofing around. After all, old habits don't die.

a/n: me: I have no motivation to write but here is a 3k slowburn fic guys 🥺 lol idk what came over me but the words for this fic just appeared out of nowhere (hope this keeps up)

The city (tumblr) needs me so I hope I will be able to provide you guys with more hoshina content and I also hoped you enjoyed this piece! Not much romance but a little something at the end 😼 consider this a warm up.

Btw I have absolutely no idea how a taglist works, I just tagged random people who interact with my content ^^ (hope you guys don't mind)

See you next time!!

[ask-the-pioneer]

"I sure do! Watch this..."

"I can make explosive spears and throwables, just like my mom did. I can also propel myself in the air by whipping my tail very fast, which sets off the same flammable compound in my tail surface for an explosive boost. Very handy for movement, but also very loud… not great if you're trying to be stealthy. And yeah, my sibling could do that too, but he was always more interested in doing other things. An energetic but very scatterbrained kid that he was."

[She takes aim and throws the spear somewhere far away. It ignites and explodes with a loud dull bang that shakes the ground slightly]

"I can't do that too often, though. Maybe a handful of times in quick succession before my muscles tense up and burn as if scorched by flames. One time it got so bad that I lost consciousness and couldn't move for a couple of minutes after waking up. That was scary, and hurt like hell... since then I've been more careful. That said, I wonder if there are more slugcats with similar abilities to mine out there? I have not met that many scugs in my life to begin with, if I'm honest..."

"Of course I remember my family, how could I not! My sibling's name is… hmmm, right, let me explain this first. Slugcats have very good sense of smell. Usually, we know one another by our unique scents. They are incredibly complex, but can be written down as series of letters, if you map those symbols to the corresponding scent proteins and other chemical compounds. For example, my scent name would be:"

"Addmitely, this notation method is very over-engineered – a slugcat just knows you are you if they smell you. From what I learned, scugs don't really use a coherent writing system.. of any kind. I think the colonies may use pictograms? I uh, I've never been a part of a colony, so I'm missing a lot of info here. Still, what I wrote on the wall – I have used an Ancient script, which I roughly mapped to key compounds that make a scent. As you can see, it's incredibly long, it can also change over time, parts of it can be masked with non-organic aromas to hide your identity, so on and so forth. To simplify even further, these long strings of letters can be shortened to just the last three or two characters, and this is what scugs may choose to use to refer to one another. Here, my scent name is MGV."

"Then, there are names that resemble the form that the Ancients would use. It's considered more refined, and more common in big colonies where people adopt their preferable roles. Those names are viewed as a kind of «gift», because you receive it from your community. It's a symbol of how they see you, what you mean to them. Of course, my closest family was never a part of a colony… but my mom would still give me and my sibling those special names. I was named «Blue», which is the color of the sky above when it's not raining, and the color of clear water. My brother's name is «Bryn» after a very fragrant medicinal plant that relaxes your muscles when consumed. I always found it funny, as my brother was often the one getting in trouble and giving our mom heartaches."

[She pauses for a moment, thinking intensively]

"Hmm, I never thought of asking my mother about her name. I wonder if she had one? To me and it was always just «mom»…"

"My other parent? I never knew him. Must have left just before or right after my mom had me, because there is literally nothing I remember of him… or them… whoever they were."

[She takes some pearls out from her bag, and inspects them one by one just to keep her hands busy]

"Mom would never talk about him, as if he never existed. And I never questioned her, I was too young to understand and simply accepted everything at face value. It was just the way things were. Would I want to meet my other parent? Maybe, but I doubt it'd make a difference. What would I even say to them? «Thanks for abandoning mom and leaving her to fend for herself»? "

"I don't know. Maybe I'm too harsh. Maybe he was a hero who sacrificed themself to save my mother. That could explain why he was never seen or heard of again. But… I have no way of knowing for sure. It's the life I won't be getting back anyway."

// In the second drawing, I've used logographs from @ikayblythe's Standard Hegemonic Dialect

[kumkaniudaku]

Amen

Summary: Terry and Patrice learn more about their love through life changing news on New Year’s Eve.

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of Death

Inspired By: Ask #1 + Ask #2

MASTERLIST

Grief was a bitch. 

A mean, ugly, unwanted bitch that had settled beside Terry as an unwelcomed guest just when he thought that he'd banished it out of his life, never to return. Over two years of joy that he'd fought tooth and nail to maintain came crashing down once grief came strolling into town without warning. 

Mike was dead. He knew that. He'd reckoned with it, talked himself through the anniversary of his death once before, sent well-wishes to his aunt every time he could, cried in the shadows, mourned, lashed out, and sat in silence with the knowledge that his little cousin would never come through the door again. Mike wouldn't see another birthday. He wasn't around for the wedding or Christmas. They'd never see another football game together. Mike would never meet Nyla. 

That fact came as a sobering realization while Terry watched his only daughter's chest rise and fall as she slept peacefully in her crib for the first time all day. A cold running through her daycare had finally latched on to her fresh immune system, turning his usually jovial baby into a shell of herself. He told his higher-ups that he needed to take the day to care for her in his mother-in-law's stead, but what he really needed was time alone to deal with his uninvited guest. 

Leaning over the sturdy walnut railing keeping his little girl safely inside her crib, he watched her with the ghost of a smile on his lips. Mike would've loved her. Terry was sure of it. He'd make his way to Fayetteville at any opportunity and cause havoc, probably irritating Patrice but definitely doting on Nyla in a way that only he could. 

Tears that had been fighting to see the world all day pricked Terry's eyes yet again. He almost let them fall but found himself blinking them back once Patrice pushed open the door and poked her head inside. 

She smiled despite work wearing her thin and waved with her fingers. "Can I come in, or would that be too much?" 

"Of course, you can," he answered, trying to put on a brave face to hide the true turmoil inside. 

Seeing her stand there, her bright smile directed at him like he was the sun, moon, and stars, was the first time he'd felt anything other than the weight of regret. He needed her to come into the room. 

Tiptoeing, Patrice approached Terry and peered over the crib's railing to look at Nyla. "How was she," she whispered before softly touching her forehead to check for heat. "Doin' any better?" 

"A little. I got her to eat and play for a bit before the medicine kicked in. She should be out for the night and good enough to sit with your mom by the ceremony on Monday. But, we'll see." 

"Good. Thank you for taking the lead. I know she was happy to have you around." She took a second look at her pride and joy, then focused all her attention on Terry. Worry and sadness had found a home on his brow line as they remained furrowed in thought. She leaned her head on his forearm and looked up at him. "And what about my other baby? How was he today?" 

The date wasn't lost on Patrice. She noticed when Terry slowly retreated into himself the week before. She saw him looking at Mike's Instagram when he thought she wasn't paying attention. She heard the conversation with his aunt when he promised to come by and see her the next time he could make it to Baton Rouge, even though she knew that time wasn't coming. Every shift in his demeanor and thousand-yard stare showed that he was reliving a hellish time she couldn't protect him from. 

No amount of soothing could pull him out of his rut. But that wouldn't stop her from trying. 

Terry continued to stare down at Nyla as he answered. "I'm okay. Not too up, not too down." 

"You need anything?" Terry didn't respond with words once he finally tore his eyes away from their daughter to look at Patrice. He only shook his head. "Can I give you a hug at least?" 

His first dose of physical affection for the day felt like the wind was gently placed back into his lungs as Patrice pulled him closer by his shoulders. His hands found her waist first, giving the spot a short squeeze before allowing his arms to fully encircle her body. 

"I love you. You know that?" 

"I know." That was the one thing he was sure of. His heart and mind were splintered into a million pieces, but he knew Patrice was there to help him put each one back in their proper place. His lips found her temple for a lingering kiss as he closed his eyes to ward off the sadness, still trying to take center stage. "I, um…I... didn't have a good day today…" Terry struggled with the words, opening and closing his mouth in hopes that something would come out while Patrice listened to him try to articulate his thoughts. A deep breath and closed eyes helped him settle before he spoke. "I could use some time together. Whatever you have tonight, I'll take it. I know you have to be up early tomorrow, so even an hour is –" 

His words were cut short by a simple kiss on his cheek. Patrice pulled back to look at him and flashed a reassuring smile. "Give me a few minutes to get changed, and you have me for however long you need me. I'll stay up late and everything. Dasia will understand if I cancel my hair appointment for tomorrow."

"I don't want you to do that." 

"We'll play it by ear," she answered to douse the early flames of a disagreement. "Twenty minutes. You can time me." 

Terry nodded in understanding and silently agreed to let Patrice out of his sight when he needed her most. Whether she was gone for 30 seconds or three days, the time away felt slow. 

Terry tried and quickly tired of distracting himself in Nyla's nursery before quietly slipping out and taking the trek to wait for Patrice like a lost puppy.

He settled into the plush velvet chair in the corner and sighed with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Closed eyes heightened his sense of hearing, giving him full access to Patrice's singing in the shower. 

Mike would've loved the Patrice he heard so much about. He'd call her 'big sis' and annoy her the way little brothers do. They'd argue endlessly but still find time for secret handshakes and inside jokes. He'd finally have someone on his side to pester Terry and receive sound advice from when the going got tough. They may have taken him in as their overgrown first child. They could've worked together to get him on the right path and save his life. 

Unfortunately, Terry would never know. The not knowing left the door wide open for sadness to creep back in. 

He breathed deep and tried to will grief away with Patrice's voice as a lullaby in the background. And for a moment, it complied. The dark, heavy cloud slipped off his back and down to his feet with every exhale, lightening the weight on his arms and shoulders until he felt close to a Terry who was safe, sound, and far from the troubles of his past. 

Mike would want that. He'd like to know what Terry had going on as the last person expected to settle down into a family man. He'd probably poke fun at his older cousin for attending birthing classes and fawning over ruffled outfits in Target when what he knew of Terry was brooding, reserved, and quietly menacing. Mike had seen his cousin kick up dust with the worst of them. Seeing Terry as a man who wouldn't so much as cough too loud if his wife or daughter was around would be a sight. 

As grief slowly packed its things and headed for the door, his comfort emerged from the steaming bathroom, looking like a lighthouse in a raging storm. 

Patrice's humming paused once she noticed Terry sitting in the corner. "Missed me," she teased, drawing a small, dry chuckle from her husband as she made her way to their dresser. "You could've joined if you wanted."

"That's alright. I know you need your time to decompress.” He gestured toward the garment in her hand. “Need help with that?"

She could've put her clothes on with no assistance, but Patrice knew that Terry wouldn't have asked if he didn't need the distraction. She granted his covert request for her attention by quickly plucking matching pieces from her sleepwear drawer and placing them in his outstretched hands. 

They spent time in comfortable silence while he slid soft cotton up her legs and then helped her into her shirt, kissing random spots of exposed skin along the way. "I didn't ask about your day. I'm sorry. I got a lot of…other stuff on my mind. How was work?" 

"It was work. Nothing too important. Glad it's the weekend. Two more days, and I get to see my first graduating class of freshmen that I taught. Isn't that crazy? I'm getting old, huh?" She laughed by herself. 

Terry avoided eye contact despite his faint smile, preferring to tie the drawstring at her waist in a neat bow like she preferred. "Never old. Only better."

"You're too sweet." Patrice cuddled him close when he was done and rubbed a spot at the nape of his neck to soothe him into closing tired, heavy lids. "I know it's tough, but I promise you'll be okay, babe. The sadness isn't gonna go away, but you'll learn to live with it. You'll learn to make space for all those feelings inside you at once. And I'll be here when you need someone else to hold some of them, too." 

Terry sighed. "I'm not tryin' to be a burden for you, P. We have enough going on as is." 

"You're not a burden, Terry; you're my husband – my friend."

To be accepted with all of the muddy waters traversing his mind and heart felt like too much to ask for in Terry's mind, especially from someone who'd spent so much time wading through all his bullshit without complaint. He owed her his life, the full weight of his love, until the day God deemed their time together but a beautiful memory forever etched in boxed trinkets and old photos. 

He wanted to give her the moon as she stood stroking his pain away with her fingertips but settled for kissing his way up her sternum on the way to her lips. 

One day, when other emotions had dwindled, and he was feeling more like himself, Terry would lay his head on Patrice's lap and tell her about the atrocities that had shaped the time before they reacquainted. That day wasn't today, and all he could think of was pouring his gratitude for her graciousness into making sure she was satisfied in the one area he could control. 

Shorts that had only been on her body for mere minutes found a new home on the floor alongside her top. Patrice was weightless in Terry's arms as he carried her to their shared bed, his lips attached to hers for needy kisses that felt more like life rafts to keep him above rough waters than affectionate gestures. 

Patrice questioning if he was sure about his actions fell on deaf ears, and soon, all of her inquiries became lost whispers in a room swirling with the sounds of desperate lovemaking. Terry left his mark on her neck and chest while he worked himself out of his clothes. 

His voice came in gravelly against the shell of her ear. "I fuckin' love you, Treece. Don't ever leave me." He was pleading and caught somewhere between raw desire and tremendous despair. "Please, don't ever leave me." 

"I'm not going anywhere, baby," Patrice reassured without hesitation.

Terry left soft kisses and big, salty tears on Patrice's cheeks once their foreheads met. "Please. I need you, Patrice." Grief was back and taunting him in his ear with its partner in crime, Doubt. She'll leave, just like everyone else. You don't deserve her. Lies filled his head with no shut-off valve in sight. The tears turned into sobs he couldn't ignore with breathing techniques or a change in his thought process. "I'm sorry. I just need you. I can't do this by myself. Don't leave." 

Patrice quickly cast amorous feelings aside to wrap her arms tight around Terry. "Woah, woah, TJ. I'm here! I'm right here." 

Grief was a bitch. Even when he threw his best punch at it, grief always hit Terry back with a haymaker that left him staggering and woozy in defeat. 

The moments after his heaving, hyperventilating meltdown became a blur of Patrice's soft-spoken instruction, lavender bubble bath, and candlelight. When he came back from a mental trip to Shelby Springs to live out alternate realities, where he emerged victorious with Mike by his side, he found himself nestled between his wife's legs, surrounded by fresh hot water and scented white foam. 

Patrice moved behind him, plastic crinkling as she peeled the back off of something he couldn't see before bringing her wet hands around to his face. "These'll help with the puffiness," she declared like an experienced esthetician informing a client. "I used to use this every other day in grad school. Cry all you need. No one will ever know by morning." 

A 'thank you' tried to rise from his throat, but Terry quickly found his voice too hoarse to say anything worth a damn. Patrice didn't mind, though. She was content to press another cold patch underneath his eye before grabbing the shampoo rinse cup resting near the baby monitor at the edge of the tub. 

Terry closed his eyes as the warm water washed over his short curls, sitting neatly behind a sharp hairline and tapered sides. His hair glistened under flickering lights provided by small flames in glass components. Patrice used her acrylic nails to work magic against his scalp, turning shampoo into a mountain of suds to cleanse the pain. 

"I swear every time my Nana and mama scrubbed my head, I felt like a new person after. One time, I was going through the worst friend breakup I've ever had, and by the time Mommy finished with me, I didn't even know that girl's name. Didn't even matter anymore." 

"What happens after the scrub, though? You just…go back to normal?" 

Patrice chuckled as she ran another stream of water across his head to start on a second lather. "Hell no. That's where the patches come in." Terry allowed himself his first genuine laugh all day, taking a stone out of grief's stronghold. His fingertips ran back and forth over the wet skin on Patrice's legs as he sat with his eyes closed in a battle for his sanity. They let the quiet ripple of water around them fill the humid air in the room, preferring to enjoy the feel of skin on skin over extraneous conversation until Patrice began running conditioner through each of his thick strands. "I love when you wear your hair like this. The haircuts are nice, but when it's grown out, it reminds me of young you." 

"Hot-headed, couldn't buckle down enough to work through being mad at not getting scholarships to still go to college me?" Terry scoffed, finding the notion of a younger, far less polished him being someone worth missing. 

Patrice shrugged. "I didn't know that Terry," she confessed. The stories of his anger felt like fables to Patrice. The only Terrence Richmond she'd ever known was sweet as homemade banana pudding after Sunday service and a whip-smart boy with the world at his feet. "My Terry and his little fro was always kind. Always noble and lending a helping hand. And now he's got a baby girl in the other room with a head full of her daddy's curls after she looked like Charles Barkley for three months." Terry smiled at the mention of Nyla and how she'd inherited at least one part of him after taking her mother's entire face. Patrice watched him reach for the monitor and bring it closer to his face for a look at his second favorite girl before she continued. "My Terry is who Mike loved. I never met him, but I know he saw the best in you. We all do, baby." 

More silence sat heavy as Terry wiped away fresh tears gathering at his waterline. Of course, they'd see the best in him when he couldn't see the best in himself. 

Grief came knocking again with Doubt in tow, but Terry ignored them to slide deeper into the water and rest his heavy head on Patrice's chest before speaking. "Mike and me…we used to get in a lot of trouble at my granny's house." 

"Yeah? Two badass kids, huh? Tell me about it."

"One time," he started, already smiling at the memory. "We got her beagle, Satchel, sick because we kept feeding him shrimp out of the gumbo. He threw up all over the back porch, and Mike got so scared that he told on us, thinking we wouldn't get the switch if we were honest." 

"Did y'all?" 

Terry laughed and nodded. "Wore our asses out. I hated that damn dog for the rest of his life. It wasn't his fault, but I was just a kid." 

"You knew better, though." 

"Whose side are you on right now?" Terry asked, looking up at Patrice with faux offense on his face. 

She giggled back. "Okay, my bad!" A final round of water cascaded down Terry's shoulders and back, washing the ugly soot of regret off of his grief to reveal the love making up its inner parts. Patrice kissed his wet hair and held her lips there even as she spoke. "Can you tell me more about Mike? I wanna know him through you."

The invitation erupted a dormant volcano deep within his Terry's heart.

He told stories of his cousin and their time together until the lavender-scented bubbles evaporated into tepid bath water. Until grief felt more like gratitude for memories made. Until Patrice's stomach ached from laughter. Until the clock struck midnight, and tears started to roll again. Until Patrice had wiped his entire face with her delicate fingertips several times over without a single inkling of exasperation or judgement while they lay face to face beneath cold sheets. And until she finally closed her eyes from exhaustion and turned her back for some shut-eye. 

Then, he talked to God. A long list of thank you's emerged from his heart. A thank you for keeping him alive, one for time spent with Mike, one for his daughter, and another for the only person keeping him afloat when all he wanted to do was drown. 

Terry looked at Patrice and smiled. Light from the television illuminated her face, highlighting her knitted brow and slight frown as she lay in the throes of a dream he could only imagine was vivid enough to evoke such a clear expression of disgust. The thought alone produced a genuine smile. 

Clicking the power button, Terry found himself in complete darkness, fighting for the words to finish his prayer. He sighed and looked back toward Heaven. "She's perfect, God. Even when she isn't. If you never give me anything else, thank you for Patrice."

"Hm?"

Patrice's groggy response to her name being called made Terry roll over on his side to calm her back into sleep. "Nothing, baby," he spoke into her shoulder before pressing a kiss on her skin. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, earning a content sigh. "I was just praying for you."

She smiled without opening her eyes. "Well, amen to that."

Tears tickled Terry's waterline, this time filled with overwhelming gratitude. A blessing like no other. 

"Yeah. Amen to that."

-----

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