#I'm not the kind of trans that would have allowed me to change my gender and name before this

[stopmyhearts]

you know apart from all the other things i'm obviously hoping don't get worse my own personal thing that I'm really hoping for is that our beautiful little self determination law that hasn't even been in effect for four months will still be there for me when I'm ready for it

[velvetvexations]

Saw your tags on that binder post and I thought I’d share that my first introduction to chest binding was actually through the lolita community! A lot of big name japanese brands are not exactly size inclusive and did NOT cater to anyone with more than an A cup, so I did see quite a lot of safe binding advice and methods on blogs and forums back in the day before more inclusive brands became available, ranging from sports bra to actual proper binders. I’m probably not the only example of the “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress” to “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress and gender reasons)” pipeline, but plenty of other lolitas I know are still cis women who just do it on occasion or for specific pieces that aren’t very forgiving on the tits! I doubt that a single niche fashion subculture is the reason for those binders being marketed towards cis women so heavily, but I thought this was a funny anecdote :)

Fascinating!

patricia taxxon shit really fucking hurts. i dont want to be effected by a random internet microcelebrity not liking transdudes, that happens often enough. but god her music and essays got me through really rough shit and it really hurts to see someone i looked up to for well written essays and work fall back on the bullshit arguments used to deny my lived experiences. it really really fucking hurts, especially with how it feels barely anyone will talk about or call it out. i thought trfs were something id have to look hard for, and seeing their rhetoric creep into the fucking music i listen to and tumblrs i follow really truly scares me

I'm sorry, anon. I love you a lot. <3

“You shouldn’t break up the trans community into groups!” The TRFs literally came up with a way to break up the community via TMA/TME. They are actively distancing themselves from the community by baking fearmongering into their ideology. God forbid we create a term about sticking together against a group within the community that’s inherently dividing?

lmao literally

Just had my first time getting sexually harassed by a woman as a percieved cis man and commiserating afterwards with a cis man about how we're all just supposed to be cool with being treated like that. It's a weird experience and somehow going through the same things mostly from women as a girl then nonbinary then a trans guy it feels the same but the flavors change. I know the discourse is literally nothing but it makes me feel like my feelings shouldn't matter because of the male privilege. And I even did my civic duty and took the brunt of it away from the other trans man who was getting it worse because of his percieved feminine traits which people also like to pretend doesn't happen. All of it is just stupid.

It's fine, she was a woman and you're a man so that was praxis sexual harassment.

honestly i think a better predictor of how much autonomy a child is able to have over their presentation is probably whether the child is disabled moreso than agab, like i not only wasn't allowed to have my hair too short, i also wasn't allowed to have it too long for a chunk of my childhood because it took me awhile to understand how to brush my hair (because i was afraid to because i am hypersensitive to touch and my mother would always brush my hair in a way that hurt so much i would cry), and my mother would bitch and moan about how difficult i was about it (because she was hurting me and did not listen when i told her this) and so i wasn't allowed to have longer hair until i could brush it myself. ultimately the biggest factor is always the attitude of the parents though

God, so much of my shit with my mother was over my hair, it still really gets to me.

TRF is like the whole voting for face eating panthers. But it’s like TERFs are the panthers and TRFs are a cheetah, like “I’m a kind of cat too so they won’t eat my face as long as I eat faces too right?” WRONG they see you as prey, they won’t spare you because they see a fellow cat, they’ll eat your face cuz you’re not a panther!

cis women will like me if I explain to them how I'm -taxonomically- a woman

it’s insane to me that ‘it’s bad to hate someone for an uncontrollable part of their identity no matter who they are’ is a controversial take now

we've regressed

when people say ‘um ackshually i can say i want all men to die and if you tell me “men see these things and go far right because they think it’s true” then you are blaming women for men’s bad behaviour’ i just immediately assume that this person is stupid as fuck like. if a teenage boy goes online to see what feminism is about and is bombarded with ‘kill all men’ ‘all men are rapists’ etc then OBVIOUSLY he’s not gonna want to be feminist. it is really not that fucking hard to understand. people don’t wanna be in spaces that are cruel to them for an aspect of their identity that they cannot control it’s not ‘blaming women for misogynistic men’ to say that. it’s just fucking true. people are so stupid it actually pains me

unfortunately radfem juice is addictive

[nerdragenewvegas]

Thinking a lot today about how despite my insane thirst for Joshua Graham, looking at him logically for 35 seconds made me realise that my years in the Mormon church were effectively years in a cult and how projection seems to change how people experience Honest Hearts a lot.

Like there's a huge subsect of people who credit the character with reconnecting them with their faith and I mean hey if that's a positive life change for you that gives you grounding, cool. But I really struggle to kind of understand that perspective of in to be honest because the point of the arc (at least to me) is that Joshua was using faith to project his own feelings and traumas and bias in a way that allowed him to somewhat avoid blame or responsibility in the event he learns he's wrong - he even admits this much depending on your ending.

First time around he did this with the Legion taking that place of a "higher power" once he was out on his own and seperated from the accountability that the other New Canaanites gave him, and when we meet him, he's doing the same thing with his Faith. And believe me when I tell you that scapegoating like this is so common in Mormonism that it's actually hard to clock once you've been in for a while, and Joshua is so good at romanticising what he's doing that we spend a lot of the DLC willing to believe him until he's about to actually do a genocide for real and we realise what's happening here.

This happens a lot in Mormonism with things like LGBTQ+ and gender stuff, where nice things like the Plan of Salvation (which can genuinely be quite reassuing and warm in a spiritual sense) are co-opted to justify homophobia and transphobia and misogyny. "I, personally, don't have an issue with trans people at all! But the plan of salvation is so clear about our bodies and how we need to respect gods choices in our design!" - despite the Plan of Salvation saying nothing about gender identity or expression and honestly kind of validating the idea that transitioning etc is also part of gods plan for some people. "I love lots of gay people and so does the church, but the word of God is clear that temple marriage is for men and women only." That kind of thing. "The whitelegs are gods children, too, but the bible is clear about how we handle those who would seek to harm this Zion we've built! I don't enjoy murder, but it's what God wants, it's a chore."

Realising this and then looking at times in my life where I saw this happen in the Mormon Church is what took me from "gently deconstructing and still believing some of it" to "I was brainwashed and in a fucking cult." So i always kind of struggle to see how anyone can get "I should seek God again" from this, but at the same time? I think that's the best part about Honest Hearts and a lot of Fallout NV in general: it forces you to learn not about yourself than anything else in the actual game. It's such a wonderful game when it comes to getting players to self reflect - maybe this is why it's so known for being the "omg I'm trans now" game.

What a special fucking game, huh?

[the-kingshound]

I'm really enjoying TKH and while I went in worrying I wouldn't find a RO that would make me stay or that I might not enjoy playing the Hound, I couldn't have been more wrong. I spotted my first target pretty quickly and I really appreciate the freedom you've given in creating and playing the Hound. I feel like I can play them just as I want to and start the relationship in these early stages as feels fitting. Very eagerly awaiting the next update! My only minor nitpick are the occasional Americanisms and modernisms. While it's fantasy and I like a few that have more modern dialogues, the 'mom and dad' and 'I figure that' was a bit of a whiplash in a tale where the characters are fantasy Irish, Welsh, etc. I do also wish there was a little more world building about trans identities and same sex marriage being legalised rather than just it being readily available without further note (but I get that's more to allow us to play gay/trans characters with ease so that's more a personal bit of jealousy that it's that easy in that world lol). Also more of a question, would making the siblings look more like your Hound be an option in future as a particular relative showed up with a diff skin tone which surprised me! (Unless that's plot relevant in which case cough cough sorry) Really loving it so far and can't wait for ch3!

Hi, I am very glad you are liking the story so much, especially the options available to shape your Hound.

Unfortunately, as I am italian and started writing in English only a few years ago, it is difficult for me to polish the modern bits of phrasing out of the writing - just because a more formal, more dated kind of writing takes time to learn. If you, or anyone else, has suggestions on the specific bits to change and how to substitute them, I'll be very grateful for the help!

About the trans identities/gay marriage, it was only talked about briefly in the game so I don't blame you for not catching that, but MC says it was Uther to first legalise female and commoner knights, then Arthur legalised gay marriage (I think it was stated when MC remembers Saraah being the very first noble to marry a man). I haven't yet talked about trans people, or presentation and gender identity, but I have plans to do so (I also want to cut out the scene with Morien talking about binding/hormones with MC so soon after their arrival and move it later when MC is more comfortable with Morien and can open up). Again, if anyone has feedback/suggestions on making things more organic, feel free to send them in.

I can totally tweak the code to make sure there is more physical resemblance with the siblings, it would indeed be cute to see!

[cartoonsinthemorning]

Hi forgive me if this has been addressed before! I'm a little new to your fem!stan stuff (I saw your ask reblogged by Boston and snuck out of the back of their foodtruck to send this) but I love the idea and was wondering does stan pretend to be Stanford when he falls in the portal? (If that is the route that's taken in the au at least) because it would be really interesting to see if constance would enjoy the freedom that comes with being a man but at the same time I think it would drive (incel) ford up the wall if he came back and saw his sister running a successful business out of his house. There would be this extra layer of tension as ford has to grapple with his own learned misogyny. Though I also imagine exploring the multiverse and seeing the way gender is explored or even ignored in other worlds would probably force him to have some realizations before hand but whether or not hed really allow himself to internalize those realizations is another story. Bros got an easy excuse to not analyze his own sexism since hes trying to hunt down bill

And then when he comes back and sees his sister is doing just fine would probably wound his pride a little bit. All those fantasies and unfair expectations of their roles hes built in his mind are forced to come crashing down once again

I'm also just kind of obsessed with the idea of constance finally learning how to be /stan/ in gravity falls because she never had the freedom and safety to do so before. I'm sure a large part of rejection of any femininity whatsoever came from not having the option to do so in the past. But then she watches the kids over the summer and sees mabel embracing makeovers and grappling hooks hand in hand. Dipper is insistent on being a "man" but never once tries to tell mabel she needs to be a "woman"

This ask is all over the place sorry I think i had a point to the start of this and now I'm just rambling about your own au to you lmfao

Anyway love the concept (and your art!!)

-🐶

Hello! Thank you for passing by and sending me such a nice message, sharing your own ideas with me! and many thanks for the compliments too, of course ❤ That said, I'm afraid my answer will be a tad disappointing. Because, the fem!Stan I enjoy to imagine is cis, and I can't imagine a cis woman being able to consistently pretend to be a man for thirty years, without losing their mind (in the same way it's detrimental for most trans people to supress their true identity for a lifetime, non?). Especially, in the same way canon Stan is very masculine (with a sprinkle of femininity, despite his shame about it), I like to imagine Constance as a lady who is very proud and comfortable in her womanhood- despite her loud voice and direct and somehow brash manners. Even in her younger years, when she was classified as a tomboy by most, she loved girly things- dresses, make up, gossip magazines, etc. without issues. I think of Stan in her 60s wearing tacky jewelry, lipstick, and hair-curlers at night, tbh. That's why, in this AU, my mind skirts around the part were Ford gets stuck into the portal.

For example, I sometimes imagine 30s Ford simply having a change of heart and dismantling the portal, and (now former) Drifter!Constance living with him from that point on (and, of course, I elaborated this one up until Stan and Mabel get into the picture, but for the sake of brevity I'll stop here). Or, I bend canon a little, making up that the people of Gravity Falls only heard of some researcher who was gonna build and live in a shack in the forest, but they never actually got to see them, let alone find out if it was a man or a woman. It's a version were the chaos Ford caused in town while posses by Bill either never happened or he did it without getting caught by police or getting seen. And, about the name on documents and stuff-- Constance was a marinated and resourceful conwoman at that point, she simply found a way to make things work. Hell, they have the same last name- maybe this time she registered Ford as deceased, passed herself as his wife, and inherited the Shack and the rest of Ford's possessions. I know many, reading this, would think it's heartless of Stan, but to me this trick is fucking hilarious. Especially, I'm grinning like a maniac imagining how mad and appalled Ford would look as he realizes the trick Constance pulled- not only because what a fucking ASSHOLE she's been, to use his "death" to appropriate his stuff- but also!! secretly!! because WHAT the FUCK- he often fantasized about Stan being his wife, but this is the most cruel and ironic monkey paw situation EVER!! To reconnect back to your speculations about sexist!Ford being humiliated and mad about Constance running a business independently: I like it! it's fun to read! But, I have to go deeper. I usually think of Ford's sexism toward Constance to be the outside layer, so to speak. I think deep down Ford always knew Stan had the potential to be strong, resourceful and independent, despite what their ma, pa, teachers and other people said. Ford grew next to her, he knows what this girl is capable of, how determined she is. And that's the point...What he really dreads, what he really hates, is the idea she doesn't need him, at all. That's what would make Ford actually upset about Stan running a business: knowing that, hadn't she brought him back, she would had been fine, without him. Sexism would be the mental shield Ford uses to protect himself from this painful acknowledgment: He's just mad because his fraud of a sister thinks she's being successful, but all she accomplished was using her physical appearance and womanly ways to seduce and manipulate. That's all, really. I roll my eyes at him, here, which is a good indicator I got him in character, if I can say so myself. The last scene you shared, with Stan realizing her nephew and niece aren't as oppressed by gender roles as she herself used to be- and bypassing them, even- is SO sweet 🥺 I have absolutely no doubt in my mind: one thing that does NOT change in either the canon universe and the genderbend one, is that Stan would love and adore Dipper and Mabel- and learn a lot from them ❤ PS: is the puppy icon your anon signature? it's so cute! 🐶 look at this fine boy. Great choice.

[katakaluptastrophy]

This may be something you have already covered, or considered and discarded, but. Thoughts on Jod being trans?

Because it seemed slightly odd to me, that a AMAB kid going to his grandmother’s house would be allowed to play with his mum’s toys. Especially if they’re “traditionally girly” toys, as opposed to being told to run around or given a ball to do sports.

Whereas a little AFAB kid would gladly be given his mum’s dolls by a traditional grandma and told to play nicely and quietly. Not identifying with the Barbies so much as finding them so pretty (especially compared to the Ken dolls that look nothing like him, which he feeds to Ulysses the dog).

And then, two or three decades later and finding that he is now God. He has consumed the Earth and her siblings and made her anew.

How easy is it to change the bits about himself he never felt were right? To remake himself as God in the flesh? To look upon himself and say, it is good?

"When I was seven, you know, all Nana had to play with in her house was some of Mum's old toys. And my favouite out of all of them..." He gave a long, shuddering sigh. "My favourite was her old Hollywood Hair Barbie," he murmured. "I loved her little gold outfit and her long yellow hair. She was the best. She got to have all the adventures. There was also a Bride's Dream Midge, but Mum had cut Midge's hair into this weird mullet. It was Barbie for me." She looked at him. He looked at her. He added, "Not Hollywood Hair Ken. Mum had him too, but he was a creep. I gave him to Nana's dog to eat."

This is what we get when John is describing the "scraps of id" that lead him to make Alecto look like some kind of nightmarish Barbie. The 'id' is, psychoanalytically, the most instinctual, basic part of the self. If John is being truthful here, then he's expressing something very basic about himself and his motivations in making Alecto.

I'm not convinced that we can infer anything about his Nana's attitude towards what toys a child should be allowed to play with. John is probably born somewhere between the mid 90s to the mid 20s, so it's just as possible that John playing with his mum's old Barbies is evidence that his family was fairly progressive. Or too poor to afford new toys. Or just ambivalent about the toys he played with.

In terms of John and gender, or at least John and masculinity, this interview has an interesting insight into what Tamsyn might be doing with that:

the God of the Locked Tomb IS a man; he IS the Father and the Teacher; it’s an inherently masc role played by someone who has an uneasy relationship himself to playing a Biblical patriarch. John falls back on hierarchies and roles because they’re familiar even when he’s struggling not to. Even he identifies himself as the God who became man and the man who became God.

Though of course, to quote a different interview, this is a series where "readers will end up STICKY and GREASY with GENDER and BIBLE" and where Lyctorhood is "a huge genderfuck".

So I think there's certainly scope for trans readings of John, which shift the framework for the way that John is positioning himself in relation to his masc roleplaying of god. There's a number of elements that would have a very different resonance in such readings, not least putting Alecto into such a specific version of a woman's body, and the tension between his own exercise of bodily autonomy and his utter restriction and violation of others' bodily autonomy.

Personally, my take is that John is meant to be a type of cis man I'm sure many of us have met - one who is at pains to demonstrate his feminism, who perhaps finds the boundaries of masculinity confining to some extent, but who is ultimately unwilling to examine how deeply those boundaries are part of the way he views the world and interacts with others. And with John, this is writ large, quite literally: endowed with godlike power, he falls back on the patriarchal image of god. John may go out of his way to tell us that the maternity problem was important to him, that he played with Barbies, that he *cares*, but at the end of the day that introspection doesn't translate into his actions.

Regardless of how John came to his relationship with masculinity, he's stuck with - or perhaps in context we could say haunted by - a very particular conception of patriarchal masculinity.

[worrywrite]

Sometimes I think I might be taking the wrong things away from the locked tomb books. Mostly what I take away are questions. And I have three categories of questions: 1) thematic questions 2) fandom questions and 3) weird questions.

Thematic question are straightforward to me, because I tend to process them pretty basically. Questions like, "does a system of governance with an 'immortal ruler' at the helm benefit the people under it?" Or "how do faith and devotion hurt the people we love?" kind of answer themselves while I think about the books.

Fandom questions are fun and not really impactful. Like "is Mercymorn actually alive?" and "do you think Ortus has started a sword bro and poetry group in the river?" These are fine questions and fun to think about. And while these questions have implications for the story at large, they aren't particularly impactful implications or they don't tend to interact with the actual themes of the books.

But then there's the weird questions. The ones that come to mind and I go "Wait am I allowed to ask that?" because on the surface it doesn't exactly matter but also I'm curious. And the one of these that is bugging me right now is "what does Paul have goin on in their pants?" Now, of course, if they were a real person I would never ask--it would be none of my business. But Paul is a fictional character, and the answer has implications that do touch on theme and might actually impact story. Because the degree to which becoming Paul altered Camilla's body can be considered a harm consequential of her relationship with Palamedes (which is thematic). Moreover, can Paul have kids at all in any way? Because they are a powerful necromancer now, and it might be relevant to the story as it continues if they can have kids or not and if that power is passed down (heritage of power is also thematic and consequential to the mechanisms of the story). There's the fandom curiosity of "can necromancy trans your gender" too but that's less consequential. But it's also connected to the topic of "do lyctors need to eat/excrete?" Because they can eat, but it doesn't exactly seem like they need to. But their bodies can change over time. They won't age, exactly, but they can build muscle or lose weight.

And look. I know the meme answer to "what does Paul have in their pants?" is science. I'm content with that answer. But also. One? The other? Both? None? Either on a sliding scale? Changes from day to day? I can't not wonder (I accept that this makes me weird) because the question is just out there unanswered and no one else seems to be asking it. But they're a fictional character that has undergone a soul merging process wherein their body was engulfed in magical fire. How can that not make you curious about what actually happened?

[basimdasasonst]

tos spock: logic may be a philosophical path that i have dedicated much of my life to the path of -- as far as considering and almost completing kolinahr -- but it does not make me all that i am. i am a person outside of my physicalities, with wants, needs, and other such things that i can allow myself through the cracks of my teachings

snw spock: did u know im a vulcan. only half tho ... raagaghaahhah ... (meek noises of protest against his humanity)

no. but seriously. on that ... thing of an snw s3 recap: others have divested much more time and energy into talking about vulcan philosophy vs biology (and there's a plethora of very good takes about it if you do only the most minor of searching) so i won't harp on the matter, but i want to step back and observe the writing and characterisation beyond the colossal fuck up that is -- well, their disintegration of vulcan culture/complexities.

[i'll -- try to keep this brief but no promises. i did spend 2000 words ranting about how badly they did spock so, brevity thy name is not basimdasas]

let me just. let's just pretend we can get over the fact they mixed biology with philosophy. let's just let that slide for a second. why -- and i cannot stress this enough -- the fuck do (pike, uhura, la'an, chapel -- i'll call them fake vulcans for my own sake) the fake vulcans talk the fucking same ... ? moreover -- why are they the same person -- logical. Purely Wholey Logical (trademark). if you transcribed the text of the 5 minute episode we were given and took out the dialogue tags -- they're. they're all the same person. you cannot tell who's talking, maybe through context clues. Guys. (shakes the writers really hard, enough to give an adult shaken baby syndrome) VULCANS HAVE PERSONALITIES TOO. i've felt a small undercurrent of this in the previous seasons but it feels directly amplified to me now -- spock's "humanity" is -- is his personality. They're making his personality his humanity. dude.

let me put it this way: you put two nihilists in a room. they've grown up in different ways, in different places, and were introduced to nihilism by their parents who also believed and practised in the philosophy. you let them talk. they're going to disagree, they might even get angry at the other. they'll agree. if there is something inherently correct that they can both acknowledge, they will have different viewpoints of tackling the concept -- based not just on the objective teachings, but the environment they grew up in, their communities, their parents, and their own personal traits. now let's take them out of the box. you compare the two at a distance: one likes grape smoothies, the other likes peach. one is a morning person, one is not. one is a competitive swimmer. one works in an office. they both find relative comfort from their jobs, even if in different ways. they are both nihilists. yet, inextricably, they are different in many ways.

ONLY VULCANS WHO HAVE UNDERGONE KOLINAHR WOULD LACK EMOTIONS. VULCANS STILL HAVE EMOTIONS THEY JUST TAMP THEM DOWN.

ok. calm. i'm drawing a tad on my experience as a trans man with gender here, but there are some things about us that are fundamental to our being that we are inherently drawn to for various reasons, i believe. i mean, that's what personality is, in a severe nutshell. that's why we have assholes who continue to be assholes (garner pleasure from it, usually). people who continue to let themselves get stepped over (never learned to stand up for themselves, environmental factor, or is afraid, or what have you). people who learn from their mistakes (ambition, or an intense desire for personal growth. where does this desire come from? changes per person. it's never the same). people who don't. kind people. mean people. we can change our personalities (with heavy work), but they are as much a product of emotion as they are environment, personal wants, personal needs, etc. everyone is built different (lol, but literally) -- and there really are truly some things we cannot just -- purge, by a point. example: i know in my heart that i am not a woman. i gravitate towards anger. i have never been good at history, no matter the angle i tackle it from. there will never be a day where i read the fine print of a legal document. i could become good at history, i am fixing my anger, but i will always naturally gravitate right where i want to be, and right where i need to be. i will always understand numbers better than words, because that's -- just how my brain works. my memory might always be a little wonky. this is all ok. fuck, it might not be logical that i'm so utterly useless at history, and sure i can work to change it, but i will always find myself more comfortable and more at ease in physics with the same amount of work. the logical thing from there is to just accept my weaknesses and move with my strengths. see where i'm going with this? and sure, i can definitely change most of my personality, but it's hard. sometimes that effort is good sometimes it's not. we have natural tendencies. we have different wants, different needs. and by the universe do we not all share the same body -- we will amble around in our flesh suits differently. my gait will be different than yours; it is no less of a walk.

anyway. tangent aside. short story -- we gravitate to things. that's natural. that's logical. diversity of a species is logical -- especially for society.

now, vulcans, in my heart of hearts, are definitely more subtle about these things because, you know, surak, but. if every vulcan was the same and had the same inherent -- wants, needs, interests, subdued emotions, way of headbutting logic -- then you have a society of mirrors. snw is trying to make vulcan society a society of mirrors.

pike is caring. la'an is quiet, strict, efficent. uhura, also, is caring but in a different way to pike. chapel is enthusiastic. by embracing suraks teachings and (magically, mysteriously) acting in accordance to them fully, they are effectively tamping down their greater feelings. not completely ridding of them. despite the fact that vulcan!pike would logically find no sense in compassion, he would also find no sense in cruelty. he is, to his heart, a compassionate person because he has made himself one. one philosophical revelation wouldn't remove decades of that. sure, he might tamp it down, but he'd still be more compassionate than anything else. he would not be cruel for logic's sake -- even if, yes, there's only "4.5 vulcans", logically -- he wouldn't say that. he wouldn't fucking say that because he is kind hearted and though it's true, it would feel "illogical to point out" -- he is good with people. has been for the duration of the show, and probably a good majority before that. he'd understand the emotions of others regardless, he's very perceptive. he'd see spock flinch at "a half". he'd roundabout it in that way that tos spock loved to do -- talk in half truths. "5 people to beam down" is not wrong. it is imprecise but not wrong. (bones voice) goddammit, they're not all the same damn stereotypical rude vulcan asshole. i haven't read surak's teachings but i severely doubt he said, at any point: "harp on an unnecessary fact to be a total douchebag as often as vulcanely possible".

this goes for everyone too -- la'an is more the silent efficent type. why would she feel the need to say ... much of anything to the effect? spock knows he's half vulcan. everyone does. what the fuck does it bring to the table to reiterate it? nothing.

you're doing the jj abrams special: creating conflict where they should be none, and ignoring a greater place to create conflict. seriously, even if i do believe the whole thing about genetics that chapel does (WHICH! BY THE WAY! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT'S BEEN MENTIONED/PLOT RELEVANT SINCE 1X01!) why is spock not, instead, helping them regulate their emotions? why are they not like pre-reform vulcans? why not use this to help us stir a bit in spock's head instead of using an out that isn't "making spock the butt of the joke". why can't he show vulcan!kindness as he's so often showing in tos. mf let me into that writers room i just want to talk i ju-

also, the dialogue was super cringy. sorry, it was. i say this as a writer who has written super cringy dialogue before and occasionally does so now. it was cringy. i've written better at the age of 12 in the margins of my maths notebook while bored out of my mind. some of these lines made me tense up. misplaced, or corny, or so severely out of character that it gave me a genuine headache by minute 2 of 5, or what have you: t'was cringy. so so so bad.

i -- selfishly, almost -- hope that it's not too late to go back and fix it, but since filming has long wrapped up -- well. it's probably a moot point, but i'm deeply annoyed. again, i really want to like snw, but everything "spock" (and, by extension, vulcan) has been butchered so badly that watching the show is rather like reading a fic you really like with one tag that just ruins the whole thing. like you'll stick it out, but begrudgingly, and not with a lot of joy in your heart because of -- i don't know, some weirdly prevalent "daddy kink".

tl;dr -- we are not just a product of the objective teachings of our beliefs, and vulcans are not only reflections of surak's teachings.

snw writers: please kick jj abrams out of your writing room. he's not doing you any favours

[fatass-adam]

Also I'M INSPIRED so-

Name: Jamesin (pronounced like the whiskey) Dionysus Kult but you can call me Jimmy (usually stylized as J!MMY because I'm an edge lord lol)

Age: 34, about to be 35 in Feb lol

Sex: AFAB

Gender: Male (I don't like specifying trans male because I shouldn't have to...I'm just a guy lol)

Pronouns: He/him/his! Please only use "they/them/theirs" if you get confused and can't remember, but never use "she/her/hers" or anything else! I've worked very hard to "earn" my masculine pronouns and I take them very seriously!

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual! I'm mostly attracted to cis dudes by sight (unfortunately tbh lol...no offense to cis dude followers because you all seem amazing!) but I can fall in love with a personality for the most part (that and I'm kinda scared to date a cis dude because I'm afraid he'll treat me like a girlfriend...but that's another story for a different post XD)

Romantic Orientation: Aro! Though I guess I show "romance" in my own twisted little ways?? I'm kinda demi at this point (and mostly just for @dreamerlucifer and @fel-rush lol) tbh but I like identifying as aro better XD It feels more fitting since traditional romance actually kinda grosses me out-

Mental Disabilities: ADHD, OCD, bipolar II disorder, anxiety, and depression! A few other things have been thrown around like paranoia and I'm 90% sure I have discalculia but those aren't fully diagnosed yet!

Physical Disabilities: Scoliosis, arthritis in several areas, and carpal tunnel syndrome...basically everything hurts lol. I'm somewhere between "too disabled to work" and "not disabled enough for disability checks" so I'm currently kind of a burden (though I make up for it by being a househusband XD) and I feel bad about that but that's a story for another post too I think lmao

Special Interests Include: Theme parks (mainly Disney parks and Universal parks...yes this includes the overseas ones and the cruise ships and such), rides (especially cheesy dark rides), and well...pretty much anything in the touristy type area and in the entertainment industry like animatronics, gaming, technology, and shit like that lol. I have a LOT of YouTube channels about this stuff saved and will gladly share them with you!!

Hyper Fixations: Mostly the band Ghost tbh lol, I can (and I cannot stress this word enough) literally infodump on them for HOURS-

Anything else: My hobbies include drawing, writing, cosplaying, and role playing. My fav things are sex, drinking, cats, and food! I'M SUPER SELF INDULGENT and believe firmly on living life to the fullest and having a good time! I'm actually in the works for starting a religion based on it and will be ordained once my name is legally changed BUT ANYWAY...I'm also a very social person and love going out, especially to our local gay club! I'm an amateur sex worker on the side but don't get to talk about that much due to social medias censoring me. My dream is to finally finish my original comic and get it out there into the world! YES YOU CAN ASK ABOUT IT AND MY OCS BECAUSE I WILL LOSE MY SHIT AND TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT FOR HOURS XD I don't get to just casually talk about my boys much lmao

AND...it's 12:12 AM and officially Munday so feel free to ask about anything else ya wanna know about me XD Adam can take back seat for just a day right?? Wrong tbh but I'll go back and forth between me and him to make it fair lol

Anyways, I think @dreamerlucifer should do this too! >:} Would tell @fel-rush to do it but he's more private lol...though he's obviously welcome to if he wants! ANYONE IS!

EDIT: I dunno where to put this so I'll just note that I'm also polyam! Well...for lack of a better word. XD I'm engaged to @dreamerlucifer and in a polycule with him and @fel-rush! I'm also open and allowed to have casual sex as long as I inform my partners and get the okay so there's that XD Which is cool because sex is my love language and I do it very casually on an almost platonic level lmao...but we'll talk about that some other time!

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Watching the Show Fanfic FMAB

@anastasian-dreamer suggested writing a big rambling post about the FMAB watches the future Au to get it off my chest and for me to offer people to send asks. You want a scene/me to explain how i’d handle something? Send it it!

 So how would this go?

First the background: 

First: Edward is a trans man. He's known from childhood. We dont have transphobia in Amestris or in this world. Envy is genderfluid and Father is literal shadows in a human form. Gender makes zero sense to them and they don't allow bigotry they'd be affected by.

 We’re going to give them testosterone but Ed isn't on it because 1) he doesn't want to take it while Al is in the armour (and that is a frequent discussion) and 2) he's not sure if he wants to. He's a fairly androgynous person and he is small chested. He’s one of the lucky assholes who have very light periods (Winry hates him for it) and its alright. He doesn't want to take it also because a part of him wants kids and he’s nervous it will lower his chances. He also knows adoption is still there so he is a bit torn. I honestly just want to explore this concept.

Second: this is also a soulmate AU. I'm thinking there are multiple types of soulmates: paternal/child, platonic, romantic and enemies. 

 Now, you're born with the paternal ones (and the parent gets their when the child is born) but the others happen later. You are five when you get your platonic and romantic; then you’re ten when you get the enemy one.

 Ed and Al are both born with a red salamander on their shoulders and the flamel Izumi has on her chest. I've read a few ‘your own mark is on your chest’ so we’re going with that. These marks tend to be something that can define you. Edward has the alchemy sign for human on his chest and Al has the helmet of his armour. 

 Hohenheim tries not to let it play on his mind. 

When they turn five, Edward gets a sword and the ouroboros on his arm, while Al gets a kunai. 

 The boys both get a silver gear which is Winry for platonic to. (how can they tell? Vibes. Literal vibes)

 When they're ten, Ed is so confused why they get more ouroboros marks. But he's busy with the transmutation. So big deal. We all know how that ends.

 But Ed also is surprised when he gets a mark when he’s eleven.

( “It kind of looks like the head of a long-haired dog?” 

 “It does. Weird.”)

Ling gets the sign for human and the ouroboros. As well he gains a silver blade for a friend (Lan Fan), the child mark of a long haired dog, and the enemy tattoos of ouroboros along with some family. (he also gains the panda friend mark of the heiress to the Chang family) 

 Greed has a sword and the sign for human, along with markings for all his Chimera buddies and the long haired dog for a child. 

Three: Roy starts off being very nervous about the kids. He sees Al and knows its his soul son. He would keep it quiet if he didn't know that his soulmate Maes would spill the beans. He tells the boys. Edward is so angry that of course it's his fuck up that defines his brother. 

 Roy and Ed keep the antagonism but it’s just their thing. They're like that. Al gets to have a cat that stays with Roy. 

 Also: three way bonds like Roy, Hughes and Gracia aren't uncommon. However due to the need for alchemists in the East Roy is based there. He has a house and makes trips bi weekly to see his soulmates. They also make trips bi weekly so they basically see each other each week.

Four: Various countries have different views on Soulmateds. Amestris believes that while there is a bond its a choice in the end. You don’t need to marry/befriend/whatever your bond is. While about 90% of the time it does happen, there's then 10% everyone knows. 

 Xing fully believes in them and soulmarks are a great honour. There's been a few times clans will join together as an heir will find their partner in another, making an iron clad bond. Soul children are precious and enemies are the utmost awfulness. 

Five: I’m tossing in a few OCs. One is named Amelia Cross. My original story for her is she is the brother’s elder sister from Hohenheim having a one night stand years ago. Theres a whole plot. But for here she's simply the Alchemist that helped make the soldiers into human chimeras before she quit the military. (and was let go because she did human transmutation)

 The other is Amelia’s soul daughter Elaine who is a chimera herself and Ishvalan. Its a whole thing. 

Lets go to the start.

 Now: I think this story would start right after Tucker makes Nina into a Chimera but before the boys see her. 

 And I kinda want to keep to my theme of ‘ah yes everyone sees it’ cause I can. How does this happen? Alchemy. A bunch of stones (some dropped by Hohenheim, some in the ground from Father) bonded together. An alchemist in the region was doing human transmutation to bring back their wife, the stones hijacked it (the alchemist lost their heart) and Truth went: you know why not. (does it make sense? No but I'm keeping it)

 So everyone in the world is watching now. And we don't start with the brothers.

 We start with Slave 23, speaking to the dwarf in the flask. We follow him as he walks to Xing, as he walks the world. We follow him to Trisha and the boys. We see him put pieces together and realize what happened to Xerxes will happen again. Of course we don't actually know YET. As far as anyone can tell he found signs of the Dwarf and went hunting.

 There's also the drama of Ling seeing the marks on Ed and Mei also seeing hers on Al. And like every other reaction to. (the Homunculi are fucking baffled that this kid somehow got a mark for one of them. Hohenheim is freaking out)

 We watch as he leaves. Then we cut to the boys fighting the Freezing Alchemist. 

Now 2003 FMA is really good at the build up so i'll probably borrow from them but I like the freezer beginning. So that's going on. And of course we learn Roy is the parental soulmate, and its all cute…

 And then we learn of the Taboo.

 I 100% think Bradley makes a bullshit claim he knew and decided since a CHILD was willing to join the military and all their trauma he let it slide. Its on the radio.

 Its all ‘aww poor little meow meows’ kind of stuff. Ed and Al hate it, go to Tucker and FUCK NINA?

 Course since Ed’s child mark is shown he claims its destiny. Ed kicks his ass, and then Nina gets to go to grandpa Roy’s place while Amelia gets contacted by one of the soldiers who is a chimera. 

 Which side note: when that happens on screen Ling is busy discussing how to murder Tucker with Lan Fan and Fu (and his clan cause that is their heir’s daughter) while Greed and the others are heading to kick some ass. 

But after the freezing alchemist we get more flashbacks to the boys in the first few years of military, and then so on.

Themes of the story: 

 -A theme there is the discussion of family. I really want the idea of family to play a huge part in this because Al and Ed’s story revolves around their relationship. So a lot of focus is on this. But also I would explore rejecting family. 

 Greed rejects his ‘siblings’. The boys reject Hohenheim because he isn't a bad person but he sure is a bad father (and yes he is. I saw one post defending it but lets be real, abandoning your family is abandoning them no matter what.) Ling rejects some of his siblings. 

 Family is important but it’s family of choice that matters. You can choose your family and many choose their blood family but they also reject it.

 -Romance is the next theme, and exploring what its like to have romantic soulmates. Like I really want some drama since Edward has been raised knowing he doesn't need to be with his romantics mixed with Greed ‘its all mine’ and Ling ‘destiny bound us’. Like they choose to be together of course but its a thing. 

 We have the themes of FMA though included.

Other notes:

 -I do know Ed keeps alchemy and both his automail parts. Not sure how but he does.

 -Mei throws herself into finding out how to free her soulmate. 

 -Mei and Xao Mei both arrive with Ling due to the alliance and that they are platonics.

 -I want to keep Ling being possessed but also I think Father actually is weirdly interested in the soul bond? I think his attempts at being perfect isn't just about like being a god but also being better then humans. And here is a being he's made having a soulmate. Two in fact. And a soul child! He's very invested. So he somehow has it that they can share the bond like they do in canon? I dunno. I'd need to work on it. 

 -Amelia is killed by Scar and it sparks a large subplot because her romantic is actually Kimblee. She visits him every year on his birthday and he's allowed out to her funeral where Elaine is. Amelia and Elaine had a falling out after some stuff but Elaine is pretty messed up. Elaine is also Kimblee’s soul child. Also Elaine is Winry’s romantic soulmate. Its a mess. 

 -I kinda think Ling having Ed as his soulmate puts him right at the top for heirs because ‘ah son of the Sage’ kind of thing mixed in with ‘the other soulmate is immortal’

 -Mrs. Bradley is actually in the know because Pride has her mark as a friend and Wrath couldn't lie to her. They never told Father until after the reveal of Greed’s soulmates but yeah she got told early on. She is subtly talking them away from the plans but it's slow going. (I kinda would want to set up Wrath in Greed’s place as a sacrifice)

[elfhunk]

like. okay.

i'm going to share too much. because it's been one of those days.

i'm in a weird unique position to observe this phenomenon of men who are desperately trying to do what is by everything but name transition to become men+. men (extreme). men (ultimate).

because i am a (functionally) cisgender gay man who has a social circle of largely transgender women. i just get to see a really funny venn diagram from my seat.

like, i've regularly joked that i want to enjoy being a man as much as sasha colby enjoys being a woman. i admire the ever loving shit out of trans women performers who pursue this unrealistic height of performative womanhood. women like sasha are living out childhood fever dreams in real time. she is visibly drawing immense pleasure from the act of being this kind of woman and making everyone else fucking watch.

it is very obviously not the only way to be a woman, and no one should be expected to pursue this degree of performative womanhood. but that's what sasha always wanted to be. so she's going to fucking do it. and none of us can stop her.

it comes up in interviews with her time and time again, and i never stop finding it so personally motivating. because this is what comes up whenever i talk about childhood with the trans women in my life. i recognize so many of the same story beats. there's this commonality to being a child who's supposed to be a boy. because if you're bad at being a boy? that means you aren't anything. you aren't allowed to be anything. hegemonic masculinity in practice is a perpetual violent humiliation levied against you for falling even an inch short.

it doesn't care if you turn out to be a girl, a boy, or something else! it just hates your ass!

so some of us get a chip on our shoulder about it. when we have control over our lives in adulthood, we want to be everything they said we weren't allowed to be. we maybe want to go a little overboard. we want to rub their faces in it.

for some people that means becoming the exaggerated form of woman you were told that you couldn't be. for some people that really does mean becoming the exaggerated form of man you were told that you couldn't be.

i think more men feel this way than you might realize. i think a lot of straight cis men feel this insecurity the same way. they were being subjected to the same brutal script as i was, after all.

so they start looking for ways to be real men. they start looking for ways back onto the boat they were shoved off of as kids.

they might start doing some really high risk behaviors if it means a shot at getting told they're finally back on board.

and i really empathize with this issue. i realized the same thing. i wanted to be a man, and i felt like i was never allowed to be one.

but y'know who was in the water with me when i wanted to try clawing my way back onto that nasty old boat?

well, i was surrounded by trans women. and do you know what trans women are going to teach you how to do instead? they'll teach you how to build your own goddamn boat.

it was the trans community that taught me to understand these changes to appearance or lifestyle as a long game of maximizing my own gender euphoria. it was the trans community that taught me how to make choices that were right for me and only for me. different women in my life have completely different definitions of their own womanhood, and what would make them happy.

i had examples set for me about why or why not someone would want to pursue certain treatments, surgeries, or medical interventions. i was taught to keep checking in with myself regularly. i was taught to ask myself if i was truly happy with my choices, and how to live with them in the event i regretted something.

and i think i'm finally getting pretty good at it. not perfect. but pretty good. i really like the man i see in the mirror. i think he's really sexy.

it's a lot of trial and error and a lot of uncertainty. it's a lot of deciding something maybe wasn't right for me, and feeling maybe a little embarrassed i ever tried it.

but i am really glad i have those tools.

because, y'all? this "men trying to transition to men (extreme)" thing is an entire black market pharmaceutical industry. this is what this entire manosphere grift is. this is what an eerie amount of even basic men's grooming, fashion, and lifestyle content is built around.

they are built around this idea that you must follow these instructions in order to be a man. you must take these measures, you must do this work to your body, you must fit within these categories. otherwise? you don't count. and i'm sure this rhetoric is sounding familiar.

i swear to you, there are just a lot of men who don't think they're men yet and need to do something in order to transition into a manlier kind of man. they're taking pills, they're giving injections, they're counting calories, they're trying to forcemasc brainwash themselves.

and i just get a little worried no one is checking in with themselves. i am worried no one is asking them if this is making them happy. because i really do believe in personal autonomy around these choices.

but i want to make sure it's making them happy.

[raineydaywhispers]

I want to write an essay about Raine's (short, but sweet) arc in The Owl House now that the show is officially over, but for now I just want to put my thoughts somewhere about their arc in the final episode, as to not lose them. Thoughts under the cut!:

I am glad that Raine had an active role in defeating Philip, and had their own symbolic break away from the covens when they broke their violin.

I also loved the return to the bard magic they invented- the whistle-during both the struggle to cast Belos out of their body, but in the last fight as well. It was a part of their return to self agency, a nod to a time before the coven system where they were allowed to be free and explore magic on their own terms.

It's interesting to me that Philip calls them "annoyingly powerful," and it makes me believe honestly that their ascension to being a coven head was, while based on skill, also based on the fact that he knew they were. Belos always wanted to take advantage of that power, and control it. We see this with Lilith, and Eda as well. I believe it stands as a further explanation for the brain washing and the only time we see a sigil used against somebody.

Raine is one of the most powerful witches on the Boiling Isles, even with the constraints of their coven sigil. They not only broke out of the collector's puppet spell as a show of that true power, but would break from being possessed by Philip as well multiple times- and they almost stopped him on their own.

But Raine failing to stop Philip on their own is also significant. Raine needed help to do that- and Eda being the person to put their glasses on them, pull them from Philip's corruption of the isles, and show them that they're safe was the final crossing of the threshold for Raine. It's another return to a time before they lost their agency, but in a way that shows both themself and Eda have changed.

If they're going to defeat Belos and share the new future free from constraints with somebody, why not Eda their childhood friend, and her adopted children Luz the human and King the Titan. Why not end it all by quite literally stomping out the coloniser monster that caused them so much pain and heartbreak?

I'm also okay with them not returning to being a bard in the epilogue. I wish we would've been able to explore why exactly, and I'd like to think that their arc that was scrapped due to cancellation would've. But I think their separation from that part of themself makes sense no matter the reason. It's part of an old, long lasting traumatic experience. Maybe they did return to it and we just sadly don't get to see it. Or, maybe they'll return to bard magic on their own terms. Maybe they won't. I guess I'm going to have to fill those gaps in on my own time through writing and fan content.

But in summary, I guess, I'm glad that they finally had a way to regain agency over themself. I'm glad they got an ending where their skills as a leader are respected and put to use. I'm glad the show continued this notion of trust with Raine working with the old Hexsquad and new Hexsquad members to rebuild. And I'm glad they get to share a community with Eda that they can both flourish in, with each other. Even if we didn't get a Raeda kiss.

I'm going to be mourning the loss of a character that as an nb transmasc person, is the first time I've really felt represented on screen. I'm so thankful to Avi Roque, Dana Terrace, and the entire crew of the show for bringing to life such a good, kind character. Eda's Requiem aired during a time where I was questioning what my gender meant to me, and was struggling to find the light in my life as a trans person. I will always be grateful.

Though I'm not optimistic that we'll get extra content in the future, I hope we do. I want to explore the Boiling Isles again, this time as it heals, and I want to do it with Raine, Eda, Luz, King, Lilith, and all the other characters that made this show so special to me.

But for now, I'm content I got to experience The Owl House. It was such a weird, proudly neurodivergent and queer show. Though I would've preferred a full third season I'm glad the ending was a sound, well written send off. Until we see more (if we ever do) I'm going to be watching and dreaming for the future, thanks to them.

[skaldish]

Hi there, hope all’s well! 🌷

I just came across your post about the emotional starvation of (cis) boys (excellent visualization of what the majority of boys/men go through from the get go).

In my day to day life I offer services and rituals to celebrate and honor women in ways that the world often has not; and I work to be all inclusive (nb, trans, and whatever might fall in between or outside of that). This work uses, showcases, AND teaches this feeling of sorority/sisterhood/community safety.

In order to balance out towards the other side—because I have been saying this same thing about boys and men missing this vital bit of living, and therefor perpetuating the rift between men and women whether they want to or not— I’ve started apprenticing as a barber. This seems to me to be one of the “softest” self care rituals men indulge in.

Would you say, in your experience, that this type of self care and perhaps the celebration/ritualization of milestones could help boys and men interact in healthier ways with their own masculinity, and the world at large?

I mean…yes and no.

Yes, because rituals and rites are nourishment for the soul, and no, because the kind of approach you're suggesting is designed to address systemic marginalization rather than systemic isolation. The reason why you don't already see cis men seek empowerment in relation to their gender because they don't need to be.

Instead, what they covet is to belong in despite of it.

See, the way we raise boys—and the experiences boys have growing into men—teach and reinforce this specific narrative:

"It doesn't matter who I am as a person, what my personality is like, or how strong of a bond someone forms with me; the moment I'm [too girly / too manly / not manly enough / the wrong kind of man / etc] my belonging is revoked and I'm disowned."

This is a trauma so ubiquitous within our Western society that many of us write it off as a feature of the XY chromosomes as opposed to conditioning. It's as omnipresent to men as objectification is to women, and equally as despised.

The origin of male isolation comes from the same place as everyone else's disenfranchisement: Western Imperialism. Western imperialism teaches us that the way we get anything good in this world is through acts of conquest:

"We become happy by conquering sadness." "We become healthy by conquering our bodies." "We become good people by conquering the parts of us that are bad." "We become good adults by conquering our behavior as children." "We become masculine by conquering effeminacy." "We become cherished and loved by conquering the parts of ourselves that are problematic and detested." Etc.

The only way I was every able to really truly heal my lifelong traumas was by ending the reign of conquest in myself. Conquest is what traumatized me to begin with, so ending conquest is what allowed me to heal.

My guess is that the same logic can be applied on a societal scale. But it would mean changing the way we go about achieving results.

(I also want to point out that cis men actually have tons of rituals and rites of passage in relation to healthy masculinity. They're just covert, and rather than speak to one's sense of agency—which is something cis women and trans* folks desire in relation to their genders—they speak to one's sense of belonging, which is, again, what cis men desire in relation to theirs.)

It's a huge topic. It's taken days for me to even write this reply because there's so much about it I could say. Let me know if you want me to address something specific.

[watermelinoe]

hii. I feel really odd doing this but I have nobody to ask for advice in real life and I can't post to reddit because surprise surprise all the radical feminist/gender critical subreddits got taken down, and you seem like a kind intelligent individual who might have good thoughts

so, my best friend whose fake name will be Aspen, and who in all honestly I've been completely in love with since we were seated next to each other in seventh grade pre algebra when I was eleven years old (I have never told them although I'm kind of awful at hiding it) is female but identifies as non-binary, and uses they/them (which is what I'm using here because I use those pronouns for them in real life and it feels odd to change that just in this ask). I was raised by a radical feminist philosopher, and I am itching to say who but then my cover would be completely blown, and I share almost all of her views, including the gender-critical ones.

the thing is that when I met Aspen and became absolutely enamored with who they are as a person and for about a year after that, I too identified as nonbinary and was very anti-radfem. I have since detransitioned and gone back to my birth name and everything and Aspen has been incredibly supportive, but I have never told them how my views have shifted about "transgender" politics. I have brought it up without explicitly stating it, we had a conversation where I genuinely inquired about how they felt their "gender identity" was different from simply being a gender non conforming woman and how being trans is supposedly different from identifying with the gender roles of another gender. they did not dismiss me and we actually had a productive conversation which really shows you how kind and smart they are. I think I introduced some new perspectives that may or may not end up being actionable on their part because as of now they haven't brought it up again though they did definitely seem receptive and genuinely thought about it.

obviously, I think that their gender identity and subsequent trans politics have been heavily influenced by general patriarchy and societal values, but as most radical feminists do, I do not at all believe that this is their fault. but I feel like I can't try to help them without alienating them or making them feel as if I don't love them or that I believe them to be broken in some way, especially given that they've identified this way since before I knew them and were very severely bullied for it growing up. for me, their identity and politics do not change the fact that they're my first and only love, and hands-down the kindest and most compassionate person I've ever met.

I adore them and I do not know how to balance that and my commitment to radical feminism, both of which I would fight to the death defending but which seem to inherently contradict each other, and I feel like I cannot do this juggling act forever and need to somehow make them understand what's behind their identity, keeping in mind their background, without breaking their heart and their trust in me as a person and a friend.

I'm so sorry to leave this in your askbox and you are not at all obligated to respond to it but you seem like someone who might have some insight

xM

i think this is comparable to loving someone who is deeply religious when you are an atheist. do you see yourself single-handedly deconstructing their faulty belief system? you can't make someone come to the conclusions you want them to, especially not a deeply held and essentially spiritual belief that is not rooted in reality. of course you can love someone despite a fundamental difference in beliefs, but you can't expect to change them, and that's okay. your commitment to radical feminism isn't evangelical, you're not responsible for converting other women and you're not only allowed to associate with other "believers." the connections we make with other women, meeting them where they are, are material and vital. it's fine to gently press back against her beliefs, and you should feel comfortable being open with yours.

[multigenderswag]

Multigender Survey Results Dec 2023: Anything else relevant

Participants were asked "Share anything else about your multigender identity that you find relevant" and had the option to respond with long answer text. Some notable responses include:

As a m+f bigender person who uses he/she pronouns, I sometimes feel like the "he" refers to my female side, and the "she" refers to my male side

I am no longer religious/Christian, but the expression “God is Change” resonates deeply with me and my approach to gender as experience. I accept that my gender (holistically) is an amalgamation, something that breathes new life into itself repeatedly and often unexpectedly, sustained by its own willingness to grow past its bounds and taste richness anew. Teaching is part of my work, and as such I consider myself an eternal student: gender is just one avenue for discovery and learning for me.

I feel so boring but it is what it is, name wise I use one (completely feminine) with group A and one (completely masculine) with group B and hope and pray that they never interact

I identified as a 'tomboy' (gender wise) as a child and transmasc as a teenager. As an adult part of my being multigender is honouring these past versions of myself and acknowledging that who I was is an important part of who I am today.

I like to describe my gender like this: imagine there’s a house on a street. the house represents being a boy/male, and being *in* the house means you’re binary male. The road represents a neutral, non-male/female gender. My gender is like the driveway — both part of the road *and* the house

i think this is relevant-ish, but the way i experience gender kind of feels like. there's a man and a woman in my head at all times, not in a system way so much as a (this is very obviously stupid but i can't find another comparison to articulate it) inside out way. they're both always there, and they're both separate, but at the same time, they come together to make the same person, me! nonbinary is a label i understand and identify with, mostly to simplify the matter for others, but in reality, it kind of feels like a... superbinary of sorts. i'm 100% a man, and 100% a woman, but because the binary only "allows" you to choose one, nonbinary is technically correct, isn't it?

I'm multigender in the "one gender that fits into several categories" way than being multigender in a "has multiple genders" way

My gender is the intersection of butch dyke and trans man. I'm questioning things right now, but I'm somewhere in that region, with a foot in both at once. I've always been drawn to butchness and sapphicism as well as transmasculinity. I think most of my journey to understand my gender has been a balancing act between identifying as enough of a guy to feel comfortable in my skin but non-binary enough to not have to abandon my identity with butchness. Recently I've adopted the label multigender, and it's helped a lot. I'm only even a little bit a girl if I can be a boy first and foremost, and I could be just a boy or just a dyke but I would have to kill part of myself to do so. I'm trying to find a way to exist in my gender without blood on my hands. I think I'm getting there. It's hard but I'm getting there.

It is complicated but I love it

Yay I love multi gender people we are so cool. <3

A number of participants also referenced being autistic and how that has influenced their multigender identity, so it is possible that autism may be included as a question on the next survey.

[smiley-mcdoggington]

1) I too am bottom Stan propaganda

2) I’m once again frolicking with you about A/B/O stuff because your brain is SO FUCKING SMART FOR THIS like I like how you broke down the details of A/B/O in your verse because it’s really cool. Talk to me more about imaginary biology!!

3) The last snippet (now that I have my brains about me) is such a cool analysis on the characters. Like Stan is ok (well not ok but like this is fine meme) being groped and stuff as long as he can keep up his passion which is something a lot of Omegas aren’t allowed to have. Ford worry pacing and his fretting over his brother that could be omega could be alpha but really it’s just ford paranoia and insistence and all. (Also lowkey I squint and think of the possibility of Trans alpha ford?? Like idk I feel like he’d have some kind of time with it?)

4) I have got to know what your plans for them long term are. Will they settle in gravity falls? Will they sail away? Will there be a thing where Bill plays his hand and somehow gets involved? Would there be a push away separation thing and if so what’s that gonna be like??? Idk I’m just digesting your ideas. You’re veryyyyy creative

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ANON WE'RE FROLICKING

1) BOTTOM STAN ARMY

2) I shit you not I was pulling out my old bio homework until I reread the ask it said anatomy and not biology - I was gonna make a whole case on increased cortisol in alphas and oxytocin in omegas especially during estrous cycles explaining why and how rutts and heats affect them but honestly that would have been an even drier textbook I should probably just put the vibes in more drabbles--

3) EEEEEEEEEE I'M SO HAPPY, STAN JUST WANTS TO KEEP DOING THE ONE THING HES PROUD OF and he does stay chill about it for Ford's sake but it did shake him and affect how he conducted himself. And Ford worries because Stanley doesn't wear scent blockers, he doesn't wear modest clothing, and in general isn't acting the way Ford started acting when he presented and Ford is. So confused by that. It's like Stan accepts who he is and isn't changing himself in ways that would take away his freedom of expression but also keep him safe from real risks. (and I did think about transing a secondary gender but the problem is that most of Ford's issues with being an omega is rooted in sexism, and he's so focused on changing the cards hes dealt he doesn't think to work toward changing how the game is played, you know? Ford looks down on all other omegas to an extent, even Stan, Ford doesn't pretend to be an alpha because he wants to be an alpha he pretends to be an alpha so he isn't treated like an omega. The way teenage girls pretend they hate pink and girly things because they want to detach themselves from feminine expression because of how it's tied to submission and being lesser. He doesn't really want to be an alpha either, he's sexist against them too, he just wants to be treated even marginally better than a poor little omega that "can't" find a mate. He looks down on everyone that sees gender as important because he doesn't like the catches that come with his, and even if he treats Stan with a lot more grace about it he still very much does look down on Stan as well in that and other aspects anyways bla bla bla me trying to hint at as much sexism alligory as I can in the incest porn I write--)

4) As far as plans go I don't have a solid one yet this was mostly just my take on a/b/o stuff so far lmao. Not that I'm not gonna give this a paragraph--

SO Ford took his pet twin brother to school with him, Fiddleford is cool with it since they share a bed and Stan is gone most of the day doing odd jobs it's not much of a hassle, plus Stan and him are pretty friendly, they smoke on the roof together, it's nice. Then Ford decides he wants to hunt weirdness and gravity falls is a good place to kick off his career in cryptozoology so he can get enough money to buy an actual decent boat. Stan makes him a bit more sociable even if they're lying and saying Ford's an alpha. If Bill comes be exasterbates Ford's sexism to a point he's practically abusive to Stan but Stan can't leave because Ford loves him :( if they seperate Ford's gotta be the one to seperate them because Stan'll keep holding on until he loses his hands. If Stan ever finds out about Bill the whole jig is up though because Stan knows a con when he hears one. It has to come with Ford pushing people away because he Has to be on a pedistal because he can't be in a diner making a waitress laugh, yk?