#I'm not sure if this connected or if its just purely a coincidence

[phynewrites]

9

- IT

today they're a frog in a hat

how about that

it seems they've met friends

in wonderland

@the-chaotic-writer @trickster-spirit @firesmokeandashes @fire-but-ashes-too @writeblr-of-my-own @albatris @ashwithapen @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @enne-uni @bored-frog @a-had-matter @silviathebard @notyourleena @phynewrites @leisoree @desastreus @writeblr-of-my-own @the-stray-storyteller @kooperation1101 @cabbojage @trappedgoose-in-a-writblr-room @yesireadbooks @gracewritesbooks @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @cljordan-imperium @writing-is-a-martial-art @scribbling-stardustt @holdmyteaplease @sm-writes-chaos @voidismyhome @grimfox

A-huh

I think I'm seeing a pattern here but I'm not sure

A while ago I reblogged from @anonymousfoz about this ask. So did @desastreus

And then both desastreus and I got the same ask. Could whoever that is be monitoring that thread?

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐇𝐨𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 🔞 | Oneshot

"Does he even pay you?"

Tags/Warnings: Idol!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, friends with benefits situation, major angst, mentions of sex work, smoking, smut, god so much filth, Dom!Jungkook, big dick JK but what's new, did I mention angst?, protected sex, multiple rounds, multiple positions, a brief thighjob, so many feelings

Length: 7k+ words

There is no taglist for this fic. This is a Oneshot.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"How does it feel to be a celebrity and ending up with me?" You wonder at him over the music, making him frown before he shakes his head, pulling you in by your hands he's holding.

"What're you talking about babe?" He argues softly, letting go of your hands to hold your waist now. "I've got the prettiest girl at my side, in my opinion. Can't complain whatsoever." He tells you into your ear, voice raised a bit and slightly raspy from his last smoking break.

You just shrug, enjoying the music when some people approach you, talking to Jungkook about something you don't listen in on, even though he's still holding you close. It's none of your business, you really don't want to get too involved with his work and everything around it, but it's clear that he likes to do exactly that.

Jungkook wants you around all the time. Doesn't matter if it fits the scene and situation, if he can invite you or bring you along, he will.

Fans don't know your connection to him. They constantly battle it out in comment sections that you're just a translator, nothing else, that you're staff so of course you have to travel alongside him. And just how they can seem to connect everything to dating if it fits their 'ship' they've got inside their minds, they're also talented in finding thousands of (sometimes frankly ridiculous) reasons as to why it cannot possibly be true either.

While before, someone wearing the same jewelry as Jungkook was a confirmation of a relationship, with you its just pure coincidence. You're an adult woman, you can choose whatever necklace or ring you want, that doesn't mean you're dating him. You're wearing the same t-shirt he wore just a day ago? Maybe you just own the same, or he was nice enough to lend it to you for one reason or the other. Seen near his hotel room? Well of course, you're staff!

The truth is, that you're not even staff at all- but you're also not dating him.

Jungkook has become awfully… comfortable in his trust that fans will brush off every rumor floating around. It's why he's shamelessly grabbing your tits from behind right now just for the fun of it, lips kissing your neck as you slap them off to hold your waist instead. "They'll call it AI-generated or something." He laughs, but you can't shake off the feeling of doubt about that. "And there's no one here filming anyways. It's a private VIP zone, so relax baby." He chuckles, swaying you with him to the beat.

He's right that this is a secluded zone- but that's never stopped anything ever before, did it. One random Instagram live where you're both seen in the background and it's over. For both of you.

"Let's go back to the hotel though. I'm horny as fuck." He laughs, making you roll your eyes with red cheeks to go with.

Jungkook is a shameless person- he doesn't see anything wrong with the things he says or does if they're not hurting anybody. He's got his own opinions and he stands by them, only ever shifting his stance if there's undeniable evidence of him being wrong shown to him. And he also enjoys the more physical aspects of love.

Jungkook enjoys sex to its fullest.

He used to sleep around quite often, his charm and also wealth and status enough to make the act of finding someone willing fairly easy. Most wouldn't be believed anyways if they openly said he'd slept with them- he made sure they never took pictures or god forbid videos, and he also never stayed the night, most of the time preferred the security of his own home where he could politely tell them to leave after the deed was done, his reasoning always having to do something with his work.

'I'm sorry, I got called up to the studio.'

'Fuck I forgot I had a flight early morning tomorrow.'

'I'm really sorry, ah this is awkward, but my manager just told me to a live now, and I can't have you being seen.'

You knew he did this. You were staff at some point, after all, even if not hired by his company but rather outsourced during a particularly demanding schedule and many other employees sick due to a viral infection going around in the office building.

You'd been just another victim of his. But somehow, he ended up biting down too hard- making him taste blood, Primal hunger awakened at the mind-blowing experience he'd had, an odd need to keep you just for himself having blossomed from it all. You were a keeper, you still are- and while it's not really love, it's good enough for him. Close enough.

He reminds you, regularly, that it's not love, with how he never claims to love you, avoids the topic altogether, always tells others you're just very close even when it's obvious just like tonight that you're a little too close to just be something casual. But he enjoys your presence nonetheless. Like a dear friend, just with some deeper layers to it.

Some staff call you his personal prostitute. And in a way, you do sometimes feel like that.

Jungkook is that kind of man who could have sex first thing in the morning. Doesn't even have to wake up fully- if you touch him just a bit, he'll come to life in an instant, if he's not sporting a boner already. He enjoys the exhaustion he feels afterwards, always pushes you past your first and second O, keeps his own saved up for the very last stretch all the time. He draws it out to high heavens, has trouble calling it quits.

Shower sex he's mastered, knows exactly where to step and what position to get into to make it as safe as possible. He loves having you on his large sofa, leather easy to clean after you're both done. Sixty-nine is his favorite dinner for two, though he has to admit that lately, he's been enjoying the more closer positions a lot more. Spooning from behind, lotus, you name it- you've become more than just an outlet for him.

He doesn't know what they call you behind his back. What your unofficial status is. They'd never admit that to him, because why would they? No one wants to get on his bad side if they don't have to.

He's on his phone, free hand on your thigh as you both sit in the back of the car that's driving him back to his hotel. He's gonna get out first, make his way inside, while you'll get in later from the back entrance to not raise any suspicion. It's normal. Routine. You've mastered it by now.

"I'll see you in ten." He winks before he makes his way out the car, rushing past some fans who've found out his location, bodyguards already there to guide him inside the lobby.

"Does he pay you?" The driver chuckles, and you shake your head. "Damn." The elderly man clicks his tongue. "Go find yourself an actual man, dear." He tells you as he parks behind the hotel, watching you move, your phone vibrating in your pocket, before it stops suddenly. "You know what they call you, right?"

"I know." You admit quietly.

"And you're okay with that? You're too sweet to let yourself be used like that. Have some self-worth." The man tells you with a kind tone. "I've seen you around long enough to know that you're kind, and a nice person. Trust me, you can and will find a proper man to love you right. But this?" He shakes his head. "You know he just wants you because you've become routine."

"I know." You repeat again, sighing a little.

"You're not what they say you are. You're just a little soft at heart, hm?" The old guy smiles over his shoulder, watching you unbundled your seatbelt. "Trust me, he won't be sad if you call it quits. I've worked for guys like this for more than thirty years- they'll just jump to the next." He explains, and you smile to yourself, before you nod towards the man. "Never mess with entertainers, sweetheart. They'll always break your heart." he offers.

"I know." You say once more, before you exit the car, and get on your way to Jungkook's hotel room.

You don't officially share one, but he still keeps you around for most of the night. You leave whenever he has to do a livestream or if he wants to go to bed, and you come back if he wants you to- but most nights you sleep alone, because he deems it too intimate for you to stay.

Apparently, sleeping in the same bed is more intimate than spitting on your cunt. Interesting.

When you knock on the door, Jungkook opens. Something's off, you notice it right away, but you don't dwell on it, don't answer. It's none of your business, and he won't tell you anyways, so what's the point in just further inducing his bad mood.

It's quiet as he moves around, since he doesn't talk to you, and you don't know what to say. You wait for him to make his move, and when he doesn't, you get up to grab your sweater you forgot in his room earlier, just to have him stand behind you, hands on your hips. "I didn't forget about you." He chuckles, and you let the fabric slip out of your fingers and back onto the floor as he kisses the crook of your neck.

Maybe jungkook is indeed using you. But you've started to use him just as much, if only to even out the odds, and make yourself feel more than just cheap company.

He slips out of his shirt. You raise your arms to help him take off yours, your naked skin at this point almost a requirement for him every time he takes you. He used to be satisfied with just fucking you somewhere quiet quick and simple to quench his thirst, but over the course of time now nearing an entire year, he's become more and more hungry. Like he wants to crawl underneath your skin at some point, the Idol constantly pushes himself more and more inside your body, not just in a sexual sense. He buys you clothes he thinks will look good on you, has a playlist just for when you're at his place filled with somber lovesongs more about heartbreak than anything else. He claims he didn't look up the lyrics, but you know he's lying. He knows a lot more english than he admits, just so he can pull the 'I don't understand' card whenever he's asked a question he doesn't want to answer.

He lets you wear his clothes without much comment by now, has gifted you jewelry he's worn and liked, laughs any mention of that being 'such a sweet gesture' off if anyone around him mentions it. He's not your boyfriend, but he surely is starting to act like it- maybe the lines are blurring for him just as much as they do for you?

People around you have started betting. On when he's gonna have another one, when you'll be 'swapped out' for something else, or at what point he's gonna make it official that you're indeed more than just nightly company. You don't await that day. It's never gonna come anyways.

"Turn around." He commands, and you do, because that's the easiest way to get where you want to be down the line. Head empty, no thoughts left, fucked stupid by a man who keeps you around for just your body and the familiarity you provide. You don't really mind any longer, long having stopped caring about emotions that are fruitless, bound to rot and die because Jungkook won't ever nurture anything you'd try and plant in his heart. He doesn't want it, and doesn't need it either- if he wants to feel loved, he just has to show his face to his millions of fans always on edge for more content. That's where he gets his love from. Maybe you're just there to feed other desires he can't have fulfilled like that.

He licks his lips as he gazes over your naked upper body, bra long undone by his hands on your back, fingers trained in the routine by now. You remember the surprise he'd shown you when you'd worn one with the clasp up front, face so soft and round for just a second that it felt like you'd just slipped into a dream- but his hunger had quickly returned, because Jungkook is a beast never satisfied. He craves more and more, constantly aims for absolute euphoria, never soft, never gentle.

Jungkook bites. He claims, grips, holds and pushes- he's aware over the physical strength he holds over you, and plays around with the fact almost every night. From tugging on your leg to pushing your head down whenever you decide to please him with your mouth instead for once. Something about the way you swallow around him and swirl your tongue always makes him feral, thighs trembling as the muscles spasm beneath the skin from the force of his orgasm. Maybe that's why he keeps you around. Because you can keep up.

His own shirt is shed, and his hands make quick work of his belt before he helps you out of your pants as well. He'd told you he didn't want to use the bed tonight, because asking for new sheets is always awkward, but he does it anyways- picks you up just to let you fall onto the bed, crawling over you. "What do you want?" You ask out of breath, but he just tilts his head in familiar habit, until it shakes no.

"Don't know yet." He answers. This is new.

Usually he always has a fixed scene set out, knows how he wants to take you right away, but this time he visibly seems unsure where to start. Almost like the first time.

He spits in his hand, doesn't bother taking off the rings, fingers working you up like it's second nature. He knows where to place them, how to move and what patterns to choose- and you don't bother thinking about the possible reason for it. Probably to get you wet and ready quick so he can get to the actual act itself, or maybe he just finds some sort of personal satisfaction from it. You're not sure- and neither do you really want to ask.

You're a little cold, but he'll warm you up soon. Hopefully you won't get sick like last time. Will he find someone else to fuck if you're unavailable?

Who knows. He surely has a lot to choose from, if he so much as asked.

He's got a question on his mind, but visibly contemplates on asking it. His teeth clamp down on his bottom lip, tongue playing with the twin piercings placed there for a second, before he leans in, kisses you. This is one of those things he does that are just outright cruel to you. His kisses full of fever and want feel so burning hot that you're sure you're marked by them for life. Like a signature he's inked underneath your skin almost he claims you again and again like this, with his tongue teasing yours, mouths open and ready to steal each other's breath.

He surely takes yours hostage, every time- and that's probably the smallest crime he commits.

"Have you eaten today?" He asks, and it catches you off guard, eyes opening again, painfully tugged back into reality where he lets his sticky hand run over your abdomen, just to settle on your hipbone. "Your stomach keeps growling." He teases, and you come crashing down. Of course. He'd never actually remember to ask that out of the blue if it wasn't for something reminding him about it.

"Not really." You respond, adjusting your position a little bit, legs trying to pull him closer. "Doesn't matter." You say, and he hums, leaning down again to mouth at your neck- probably marking his territory again, a joke made on a constant whenever you turn up with the blooming bruises on your skin, their origin more than obvious.

"Hm." He hums, almost dissatisfied, but you don't bother to think about it. He moves to lean off the side of the bed, pulling his suitcase closer to get himself a condom, opening the package easily before he rolls it over his length. He seems oddly soft tonight, in more ways than one. Is he still exhausted from the shooting? Could be. He never wants to admit himself that he has to take breaks, thinks that his body can just magically manifest strength from nothing but pure thought, and it used to irritate you, because you felt responsible, in a way. But that was when you still saw more in this than there actually was- nowadays, it's his business, not yours. He's got nutritionists and personal trainers who get paid for taking care of him. It's not your job.

What is your job, really?

Well, you're most certainly not working under his company any longer, and neither have you returned to your original agency either- simply because Jungkook's management deemed you too much of a danger in your position, after the idol had let it slip that you two were having sex on a regular basis. So you just signed an NDA, got paid for your silence, now earning a living by writing books. Modern fantasy novels, where the daydreams you once had can actually become reality, and your hopes and wishes can be dreamed of by other people who have the same.

It's good money. A hobby you cherish.

Jungkook has never asked you what you work as nowadays. He doesn't even visit your apartment, has never seen it before, and he doesn't know if you have family either. He just takes you as his, lets you live alongside him and entertains you whenever he's in the mood for it. And you let him, because these days, he's all you've got. There's not much else you can do than write all day at home or accompany him on his overseas schedules.

You're not sure why he always drags you along, when back home, he won't even call you for days. Maybe he doesn't have to? Maybe his bed at home is always warm. But if that's the case, why not take them on a trip once in a while? Does he have designated women for specific occasions?

Then who will the woman be he chooses to show to the public one day? Number three in his harem?

You can't even truly blame him. As someone he grew up in this industry, his view on the world is warped, shifted, not the same colors as yours. He doesn't feel the same worth in a simple banknote that you do, he can't understand the struggle of missing the bus or having to face an empty fridge.

"Sit up, baby." He tells you, chuckles when you struggle a little to do so- compared to him, flying around all the time actually does take a toll on you. And the petname doesn't make it any better in this moment, as his hands reach out to hold you steady, helping your legs over his thighs, before he guides the head of his cock into you. He wants you close tonight it seems like. Hopefully he keeps holding you, because you're not very energetic this time. "I've got you." He says, and you nod, resting your arms around his neck, hands faintly touching the skin of his back. "Are you cold?" He wonders.

"A bit." You respond. He's probably noticed your icy fingertips.

"I'll warm you up." He purrs, and you nod. You know he will. He always does- always hot hearted in everything he does, even in this. He holds you close, hands on your behind helping you move, your hips rolling a bit too slow for his liking, but he overlooks it for once. You're not sure what's up with him tonight. This isn't him. "You tired, baby?" He wonders, and you nod.

"Sorry." You tell him, but he shakes his head, moves to lay you down, knees pressed into the soft hotel bed mattress as he thrusts his hips forwards.

"It's alright." He brushes it off. "Flight was long as hell." He muses, lazily moving himself. You're enjoying this, even if it's odd for him to behave this way. "Wanna come over for breakfast tomorrow morning?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"Can't." You sigh, arms now moving to lay above your head, eyes closed in bliss. "I fly out back home at 8 tomorrow." You remind him, and you can't see the way his brows lower, face darkening as he realizes he didn't know that. You usually fly back after him. Why are you going home sooner this time?

"Why?" He huffs out, hands grabbing your legs as he pulls your thighs over his, pushing himself deeper now. "You always fly after me." He almost growls.

"I dunno.." You slur. "Management said." You just respond. Why does he seem so irritated by this? It's not a huge deal at all if you fly back sooner or later. He's not gonna call you up back home anyways, so why does it bother him so much.

"Management can go fuck themselves." He argues. "You fly after me. I'll book the flight myself if I have to." he demands practically, slight irritation causing him to have his energy boil up, position adjusted as he becomes more restless, balls smacking loudly against you cunt, pace a lot more ruthless now.

You're finally reaching it. Your head becomes fuzzy.

You don't notice Jungkook becoming almost.. satisfied from that sight of your tension finally leaving. You're nothing but whimpers of pleasure as he slips out of you, hands tugging and pushing your legs and body to have you on your side, the taller Idol now laying down on his side behind you to spoon you, dragging the head of his length through your soaked and slicked up folds. one hand holds up your thigh, helps in opening you up, though you're pretty much gaping from his girth stretching you out moments prior. His lips find your shoulder, your neck, as he pushes himself back inside with the help of your hands-

who suddenly do something new as well, tugging the condom from his cock, making him gasp out in sensitivity. "What're you doing?" He grows.

"IUD." You tell him. "Please-" You beg, and yet again he moves as if awakened from slumber, pushing you halfway on your stomach as he pushes the now bare head of his cock back inside you. This is most certainly new, and he knows for a fact, that he's never going back again.

"Fuck.." He almost laughs, leaning over you now, body covering yours as he just pushes himself in for a good moment, humming a sound of pleasure into your neck as he lets himself relish in the new sensation. "Ah-" He sighs out, before he clenches his jaw, thrusting hard as if to make sure your body will remember him for days to come.

It will. Sadly.

"God, fuck-!" He groans out, holding onto your body now, having turned you onto your side, hand reaching out adjust your arm so he can see your face. Your lips are parted, eyes closed in bliss, and he can't help but have his hand smack down onto your behind that's moving in a way that's way too inviting. He does it a second time, slap clearly heard as he smirks at the way you clench around his cock currently rearranging your insides. He moves your leg to rest over his shoulder, reaching even deeper, hand underneath your belly button pressing where he can faintly feel himself move.

No one can blame him for being absolutely obsessed with your body.

He can feel the way you begin to tighten, thighs shaking a little as you come undone, his hands moving your legs again to close them once more, holding them up, slipping out of your clenching cunt to push his cock right between your soft and wet thighs. it's enough for a moment, though you reach out to touch the tip poking through almost teasingly, making him laugh as he suddenly sighs out, groaning as he spills over your stomach and up your chest. You're breathing heavily, and don't notice you start to shiver, as he parts from you to turn on the light in the bathroom to clean up.

Aftercare is not really his thing- and you've come to accept that.

When you sit up, you stretch your arms in front of you, muscles slowly regaining strength as you wait for Jungkook to finish up, toilet flushing before he emerges again, shamelessly walking without underwear, gaze following you as you walk past him to use the bathroom yourself.

The moment you re-emerge to grab your clothes, he's sitting on the edge of the bed with his boxers back on, phone in his hand. "I booked the flight for you. Tomorrow at 12:30." He tells you as you slip back into your underwear, not bothering with the bra as you search for where he'd thrown your shirt. "Here." He offers- and you slip the garment on with a thanks, only noticing afterwards that that's not yours at all, oversized fabric reaching almost to your knees. "Cute." He comments way too quiet to be meant to be heard, so you don't mention it at all.

"Why is the flight-thing so important?" You wonder, slipping into your socks as he moves around to find the hotel room service menu.

"Because you always fly back after me." He repeats again, clearing his throat.

"…you already said that." You mumble to yourself, but he clearly hears you.

"Fuck alright, god damnit!" He whines in complaint, rolling his eyes. "If you were to fly back earlier, you'll run right into all the paparazzi and shit waiting for me. That's why you're meant to fly back later- so they're gone by the time you arrive." He explains, and you're stunned in the spot you're standing, watching him a bit confused.

So that's the reason?

"It's not like they know." You say, unsure why he's so adamant about it.

"Doesn't matter." He shakes his head. "I'm not having them jump you for whatever reason they might have." He denies, before he sits down in the seat near the window which blinds are shut. "Now what do you wanna eat?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"I'll eat something tomorrow morning." You deny, and he slumps back in his seat, eyes closed and tongue pushed against his cheek.

"What do you want to fucking eat, babe." He repeats, making sure to pronounce the petname before he looks at you with frustration.

"Nothing." You respond. "Are we done?" You ask him, and he shakes his head, setting the menu down before he crosses his arms.

"No." He denies. "What to they call you?" He asks, and you're not sure what he's getting at, shaking your head with brows furrowed in confusion.

"What're you talking about?" You ask, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"What do they call you?" He repeats. "I heard what you talked about in the car when I left."

"How?" You ask baffled.

"Telepathy." He jokes without humor, before he scoffs to himself. "I called you to actually ask you if you wanted to eat something- but you must've accidentally accepted the call without looking, because I clearly listened in on a convo I wasn't supposed to hear." He explains. "Either way, I want an answer. What. Do. They. Call. You." He demands, and you sigh.

"Why does it matter?" You argue, searching for your leggings in the room- finding them over the armrest of the chair he's currently sitting in. "I'm your personal prostitute, just without the pay." You tell him, and it takes him a second to realize that that's your answer.

Suddenly, he wants you out the room.

Not because he doesn't want you here any longer, but because the guilt is eating him alive with ever second he has to look at you. Because the more he think about it, the more it becomes obvious to him that this really must look like just that to everyone. After all, he's just taking you with him apparently for sex, and he's become so comfortable in it that he didn't think about it any longer. It's what you want too, right?

Jungkook has never really learned how to convey his emotions properly. He doesn't know what it's like to fall in love, has no idea what to look out for. He likes spending time with you, and enjoys the sex to the point that he's been monogamous with only you for the past year or so. It's nice to be in a relationship, even though he knows this one isn't normal. It's still okay, because down the line, you understand each other. He likes you, he just doesn't want people to use that against him or you at some point- so he keeps your status to himself. No one needs to know you're a couple. Only you and him. Because.. you know that, right?

"You know that's not what you are to me, right?" He asks, and you shrug.

"Does it matter?" You ask. "It's none of my business who I am to you, or whoever you screw apart from me." You say.

"What?" He asks, crossed arms unraveling. "I'm not fucking anyone but you." He says.

"Cool." You say.

"Cool? That's it?" He argues. "How can you be so calm about everyone else telling you I'm apparently cheating on you?" He worries, and you're yet again confused.

"What're you talking about?" You ask. "That's got nothing to do with cheating." You say.

"No no no no whoa there. Stop for a second." He holds his hands out as if to soothe a raging crowd of people, looking at the carpet. "You- you do know we're in a relationship, right?" He asks you, and your face tells him everything he needs to know. "Oh my fucking god are you kidding me…" He complains into his hands, covering his face in frustration.

"How the hell was I supposed to know?" You say, now with your own arms crossed. "Jungkook, you rarely even talk to me when we're back home. You only take me with you when you've got something up overseas, you constantly tell people we're just friends, you've never even asked me out in the first place!" You argue.

"We've been fucking each other for almost a year, I thought it was obvious I liked you?!" He whines, looking at you with what you realize are tears brimming on his waterline. Why is he so emotional now? "Have you- did you see anyone other than me?" He asks quietly, and you shake your head.

"No." You deny.

"Okay. Fuck- okay." He takes a deep breath, swallows down his panic. "I like you. I don't- I've got no clue if it's love or not because I don't know, alright? But I like you, a lot, to the point where I want us to be something permanent." He tries to explain. "Just us. You and me." He underlines, and you shrug.

"Jungkook, it's not that easy." You sigh. "If this has been what you think a relationship is like, then we won't work out."

"Alright, then what do you need me to do?" He argues, not letting go. "God- fuck, tell me what do I have to do to make you stay?" He asks, voice cracking.

"Jungkook, calm down-" You start, but he shakes his head, swallows thickly, bottom lip quivering for just a second before he licks over it, pulls it in between his teeth.

"I can't-! Not when it sounds like you're gonna leave me-" He worries.

"I'm not, don't worry. I'll stay. Just.. breathe for a second, alright?" You ask, getting up to walk closer, pushing his shoulders back to force him out of his slumped over position. "Hey- okay?" You ask, and he instead pulls you closer, sits you onto his lap, before he clings onto you, resting his forehead in your shoulder. "Why do you never reach out to me when we're home? You're confusing me." You gently tell him, and he shrugs.

"I'm scared they'll see you." He sniffles. "If they do- they'll tear you apart." He sighs. "When we're out here, like this- I can just.. claim you're staff, whatever. But at home- I can't.. I don't know how to protect you." He shakes his head.

"You should've told me." You sigh, leaning into him. "I was hurt, you know?" You tell him.

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry." He apologizes, pulls you just a bit closer. "I don't know what to do." He whines.

"What if you just visit me instead?" You offer. "They don't know where I live. And my windows are all mirrored so no one can look inside." You tell him.

"…since when?" he asks, leaning away from you a little so that you can finally see his face again, eyes red, a stray tear escaping him that you wipe off.

"Since a few months ago? Jungkook you don't even know my apartment in the first place. You've never visited me at all, ever!" You laugh, and he sighs.

"I know, and I.. always wanted to, you know, visit you.. spend time with you but.." He runs a hand over his face.

"You're okay. We talked about it now." You nod, an action he copies. "I'll come back tomorrow morning and we can have breakfast together, okay?" You ask, but he shakes his head.

"No, you gotta stay." He denies. "I don't care if you don't like that, but I need you close tonight." He says.

"Never said I don't." You say. "You just seemed uncomfortable with it." You wonder.

"Because I snore!" He whines, throwing his head back. "I snore, I move a lot, I might cling to you at night or I sweat, or whatever the fuck- I'm not as perfect as I'm made out to be." He complains.

"Jungkook sorry, but what the fuck." You laugh, and he can't help but smile at the sight and sound of you happy. "You can fart and burp like whatever, and I'd still stay. You're human, I'm not perfect either!" You explain, but he shakes his head, leaning forwards to kiss your already blossoming bruises on your neck.

"No, you are." He says. "You're absolutely perfect." He argues.

"Not really." You deny.

"Stop arguing." He complains, squeezes your waist a bit.

"What're you gonna do about it?" You tease, and he looks up at you with a heated gaze.

"Get me nice n' hard and I'll show you." He responds, making you giggle with eyes rolling, as you lean back to tug him out of his underwear, a hiss leaving him. "Fuck, baby your hands are icy!" He laughs, leaning back to hold your legs so you don't slip off of his thighs.

"That's cause it's cold in here!" You joke back, warming your hands up on his already heated length, skin already flushed and swelling as the blood rushes back. His hands travel beneath the shirt you wear, softly grabbing at the flesh of your chest, making you get up to shed your underwear and get back onto his lap.

"Think you can ride me on this thing?" He asks, talking about the seat he's sitting in. "Kinda tired right now, won't lie."

"Huh, making me do all the work now?" You raise your brows. "And here I thought you wanted to take us seriously.." You sigh, attempting to joke- but he clearly doesn't take it as such, face becoming serious again.

"Lift your hips a little." He demands, and you do so- unsure what he's trying to do, before he spits into his hand once more, feeling you up between your legs to check if you're ready. You are- quickly slicking up at the thought of him, and he guides his length inside of you again, stretching you out once more, but this time, it's not just sex.

He refuses to move. He just helps you settle on his lap, but holds onto your hips, keeping you from moving. "Jungkook-" You whine, but he shakes his head, and pulls your face closer to kiss you.

"No, I wanna stay like this for a bit." He denies.

"But I thought we wanted to eat something later?" You ask, making him roll his eyes.

"I'm trying to be romantic here." He complains.

"By putting your dick inside me?" You ask.

"Well I don't know what else to do!" He whines. "I.. I don't really know how else to properly express.." He falls deep into thought for a second or two, before he finally says it. "I don't know how else to make sure you can.."

"..feel how much I love you."

You're quiet for a good while, watching how he rather looks at your neck than at you in particular, avoiding eye contact as he continues to move his hands back to your sides underneath your shirt. "Jungkook…" You mumble, and he cringes.

"Don't-" He sighs, clicks his tongue in irritation. "-don't pity me or something-" He begins.

"No no no I'm not pitying you I just-" You cut him off, now your hands holding his cheeks to force him to look at you. Because you just realized something in the things he's said earlier. "Remember how you said.. you want me to fly back after you?" You ask, and he nods.

"Yeah." He answers, his way warmer palms now taking yours from his face, holding them in his. "Of course."

"That's.. something that also shows that you care about me." You say. "Because, you didn't say that you were worried about someone spotting me and putting your career on the line- but that you were worried about me being in danger." You remind him, and he nods. "Or how you noticed my stomach growling, and wondered if I ate today." You giggle.

"I already wondered if you didn't- cause I didn't see you eat anything." He shrugs.

"See?" You hum towards him, running your hand through his hair. "That shows you care, too." You say.

"But I want you to feel it." He complains stubbornly. "I want you to.. feel the same as I do when I'm around you." He offers.

"Horny?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes, throwing his head back.

"That too-" He laughs. "But mostly.. just, I don't know." He takes a deep breath. "It's hard to explain. It's like chest constricts when I'm not around you. Whenever I'm home, I miss you so bad that I sometimes go to sleep early just to avoid giving in and calling you. I have to distract myself just to not think about you- and yet I still do, almost all the time." He sighs, tucking your hair behind your ears. "When I wake up.." He hums, hands moving to your shoulders. "When I do my morning routine.." He explains, letting his fingers travel over the length of your arms. "When I work out.." He continues. "When I go to bed. It doesn't matter at all." He shakes his head.

"You know you don't have to make up something just to make me stay, right?" You ask him, and at that, his eyes immediately snap back up to you, panic returning.

"I'm not." He denies instantly. "I'm really not-" he urges. "-how can I prove it?" He worries.

"You.. listen, it's not something that you can just clear up in a moment." You sigh. "It's gonna take time. We're basically starting from scratch here." You explain, and he nods.

"Do you.. should we stop then?" He asks, glancing between your bodies for a second. "Until you believe me?" He wonders, and you shrug, before you shake your head.

"No." You deny. "I'd miss you too much-" You tell him, before you adjust your legs, arms around his neck. "-And you'd probably go insane without sex." You tease.

"Not without sex." He denies, watching how you begin to move your hips, letting him slip out until just the very tip remains inside you. "But without you." He clarifies. "It's not sex I want- that's a… I don't know. It's the closeness I feel, you know?" He sighs when you sink back down. "I just like touching you.. being inside you.." He hums, eyes fluttering closed as he leans back into the seat while your hands settle on his shoulders to keep you balanced, pace slow but fast enough to intensify the pleasure you both feel. "Just like that.." He sighs out in bliss.

"I have a really nice couch, you know?" You hum towards him, making him smile while his hands find your waist. "My bed is really big too.." You tell him, and he opens his eyes a little at that.

"Big enough for two?" He wonders, and you shrug.

"Guess we have to find out." You tease, and he nods, hands moving from your waist to your hips before one of them finds your heat between your legs where he can see his cock disappearing inside you.

"Is the couch sturdy?" He wonders, fingers playing with your clit now, making the muscles in your thighs twitch.

"Ah- yes!" You whine, picking up your pace.

"Hm, gonna fuck you on it then." He chuckles. "Stress-test it." He jokes, and you whimper as you come undone, your slick now coating his own legs, strings of the sticky fluid keeping you both connected, wet sounds echoing off the walls of the hotel room. "Break it." He growls, heels on the ground helping him in shifting his hips upwards into you, catching you off guard, your orgasm washing over you in a wave threatening to drown you.

You're shaking, but you still move, needing to feel him reach his high as well, and he does find his own release, spilling whatever he's got left to give, holding you close, kissing whatever skin he can reach from how you're hugging him now, breathing slowly easing again.

And he keeps you like this, uncaring of the food since it's by now too late to order any roomservice anyways.

And for the first time, he actually sleeps next to you, in the same bed-

promising himself to do everything he can to keep you this close, for now and as long as you'll have him.

[the-paper-apricot]

John, Paul & the Shangri-Las

Whatever happened to The life that we once knew?

It's fairly well known that these lines from the bridge of 'Free as a Bird' are adapted from the lyric of 'Remember (Walkin' in the Sand)', written & produced by Shadow Morton and performed by the Shangri-Las. Where the Beatles, in lyrics begun but not completed by John, call up shared memories, Mary Weiss sang of "the boy that I once knew". That John reused these lines to voice his own preoccupation with an unresolved past adds much tenderness to 'Free as a Bird'. Being a Shangs fan, there are a couple of other connections that I just wanted to write about.

The Shangs looking dangerous.

Today I love you more than yesterday

'I Know (I Know)' from Mind Games (1973).

Although the melodies are completely different, the Shangri-Las song 'Love You More Than Yesterday' seems to find an echo in the most emotive lines in the bridge of John Lennon's 'I Know (I Know)'. The song was a B-side to their 1966 spoken-word ballad 'Past, Present & Future' (which, incidentally, took Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' as its theme, like the Beatles' song 'Because' after it). Quite rightly the nod to 'Yesterday' is what strikes us most, but I'm not at all sure that the similarity to the Shangri-Las title is pure coincidence. We saw in Get Back how easily song titles and lyrics were used by John and Paul in the current of their talk.

It proved difficult to find John speaking about the Shangri-Las, despite the Beatles' enjoyment of records by other girl groups like the Shirelles, and they're not among the artists on John's famous 40-disc mobile juke box that he brought when the Beatles went out on tour. (Only one woman, Fontella Bass, appears among the discs. The juke box doesn't even include 'Angel Baby' by Rosie and the Originals, whose fresh, unrefined first-love sentimentality appealed to him so much he covered it.) It's a little easier to find something from Paul on the subject however.

Mary and Betty Weiss from the Shangri-Las, photographed by Jini Dellaccio in 1966 (left: screenshot by @ohhellno on tumblr*; right, my screenshot, both from the documentary Her Aim is True, about the photographer).

Of course he calls out "Shangri-Las versus The Village People!" at the beginning of 'Mr. H. Atom'. But glorious as that is, perhaps more informative are the occasions where Paul has spoken of his enjoyment of the Shangri-Las' style, and the way he appreciated Linda's voice in this mode.

If she’s a singer, she’s very much a Shangri-Las type singer; I don’t think any of them could get into opera, but I prefer them to opera. Linda wouldn’t put herself up as a great vocalist, but she’s got a great style. I think anyway.

'McCartney Gets Hungry Again', Musician, Feb. 1988

I've always maintained that she has a kind of Shangri-Las type of appeal.

'Can Paul McCartney Get Back?' Rolling Stone, June 1989

When you know how warmly Paul regarded their style, you can't miss the similarity of Linda's spoken intro and closing of 'Wide Prairie' ("I was in Paris, waiting for a flight..."), answered by Paul, to the chat in Shangri-Las songs like 'Give Him a Great Big Kiss', where the other girls ask Mary Weiss whether her guy is tall ("Well, I gotta look up!") or if he's a good dancer.

Did they meet?

On the 20th September 1964, the Shangri-Las performed on the same bill as the Beatles, at a benefit concert in New York for a cerebral palsy charity. Mary Weiss explained that Mary Ann Ganser was jostled backstage as one of the Beatles sought them out:

“She turned around and it was Ringo. So that was some contact, anyway. I almost wanted her to take his drumsticks.”

'Weiss Leads Again', the New York Sun, September 2007.

This seems to be the only documented contact between the groups, although if you know of others, or further instances where John or Paul spoke about the Shangs, I'd love to hear about them. The music that the Beatles listened to has been written about extensively, and there's almost a canon of influences that's become pretty standard. Given their admiration of their performance, and seemingly in John's case, of Shadow Morton's words**, I hope for some recognition of both Lennon and McCartney's creative responses to the Shangri-Las.

(* Many thanks to @ohhellno for letting me use this great screenshot.)

(** The interest was of course mutual, as Morton produced the Beattle-ettes single 'Only Seventeen', supposedly a response to the Beatles from the girl's perspective, with hand claps and cries of "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" The single, by an untraced group, was released in 1964. In summer the same year his first songwriting hit, 'Remember (Walkin' in the Sand)' was the breakout success for the Shangri-Las. It was racing up the Billboard Hot 100 as the Beatles toured the States in the second half of August. By the time they had a day off in Key West, on the tenth of September, it had reached the top ten, one place below 'A Hard Day's Night'. If John or Paul tuned to a pop radio station, they'd have heard it. The song peaked at number five.)

from the Billboard Hot 100, week ending 12th September, 1964.

[alaydabug2]

Ok ok ok

Many people I've seen don't like Keefe because he's "taking all the spotlight" and "this is Sophie's story not his"

Let me have one chance to change your mind

One

And this is purely based off theories ive got and the story itself

If you don't like Keefe just cause you don't like him (while that is a perfectly valid opinion you're allowed to have) that is not the argument against this

It's just based on the actual plots of the book (if you have points against this I'd love to hear them I'm always up for some friendly debate)

Ok time to begin

I'm am about 90% sure that Keefe's plot line is intertwined with Sophie's

Ok so

To begin let's start with Sophie

I'm pretty sure the end goal for Sophie's story is to (out of many things) bring humans back as an intelligent species (keep that in mind its very important)

Sophie was raised with them for a reason and she can see the worth in them that not many elves do (including out of her own friends)

I also believe that Amy being able to keep her memory was no coincidence on Shannon's part

I think that Amy will be one of the first humans to integrate back to the Lost Cities as maybe even a spokesperson

The islands lady Giselle stole for the trolls also plays into this

Stuff like that happening in the human world is going to shake the balance of everything

Humans will get suspicious when things like that keep happening

Sophie also sees the value in humans and believes they don't deserve to have been shunned away and wants to make it right

Well why were the humans shunned away?

That's where Keefe's story plays into this (hang in there its about to get messy but stick with me)

They we're shunned away for "trying to uprise against the elves" and not sign the treaties

But they only did that because it's revealed that Vespera was experimenting and kidnapping their people

Vespera was experimenting for as she said "finding out how they can be so ruthless"

Cause elves and humans aren't all that different really

Mainly just the special abilities and skills

Vespera is also connected to stellarlune

And Giselle said that stellarlune is supposed to "bring out someone's potential"

Well what if the humans potential is to be like the elves

What if Elysian was a human that was experimented on by Vespera and the ancient council then locked her away because she was too powerful

Vespera in turn was locked up to hide the evidence from it and nearly all record of it was destroyed

But if that's what stellarlune did to a human what's that have to do with Keefe?

Hang in there

Vespera said her and lady Giselle's philosophies were exact opposites

Giselle said they were similar than she thought

Well I doubt Giselle would use stellarlune to make Keefe human

BUT

What she could do is give him those freaky abilities like Elysian to MAKE elves like humans

Think of what Elysian did at the end of stellarlune

She turned off everyone's abilities

Well in unlocked while in Keefe's pov

While having a breakdown in his inner monologue because he was scared he could just STOP people from manifesting or even take away abilities(I can get pages later if anyone is curious)

Here's where Sophie comes back in

I think Sophie was created to correct all of that

Even though the black swan didn't know how big exactly what they were dealing with back when they created her

She was still created to fix those issues all of that caused

So YES they were supposed to be nemesises

Without Keefe's end of the story and all of that stuff he's wrapped up in Sophie wouldn't exist

Yes this is Sophie's story

Without a doubt

But HER story wouldn't exist without all the stuff HE was wrapped up in

And that's why I love this story

It's extremely complex and has many sides to the same story to create one big intertwining plot with lots of branches and reasonings

Thann you for your time

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Russia, Russia, Russia... but I'm sure it's pure coincidence.

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

June 28, 2024

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

JUN 29, 2024

There is huge news today: in the case of Loper Bright Enterprises v. Raimondo, the Supreme Court overturned the Chevron defense doctrine that underpins the administrative state. 

I am putting that down as a marker because I��ve had a very busy week of travel and writing (the paperback edition of Democracy Awakening is coming out in October and I am working on a new afterword) and I am just too tired to cover it and its history well tonight. 

Instead, tonight I want to make a note of something that has been nagging at me for weeks now: Trump’s focus on 32-year-old Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich, who was arrested by Russian officers in March 2023 and is currently on trial for the trumped-up charge of espionage. The State Department considers him “wrongfully detained,” a rare designation indicating that the person is being held by a hostile government as a bargaining chip. That designation means the U.S. government will do all it can to secure his release. 

At least three times now, Trump has interfered with those negotiations by vowing that Russian president Vladimir Putin will release Gershkovich for him and him alone. He said it in last night’s CNN debacle, where he also made a big deal out of the idea that Putin will do it as a favor, without an exchange of money.  

He said something else last night in his slurry of words that jumped out. Somewhere in his discussion of Putin’s invasion of eastern Ukraine in February 2022, Trump said: “Putin saw that, he said, you know what, I think we’re going to go in and maybe take my—this was his dream. I talked to him about it, his dream.”

Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s 2019 report on Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election explained that Paul Manafort, Trump’s campaign manager and then conduit to Russian operatives, in summer 2016 “discussed a plan to resolve the ongoing political problems in Ukraine by creating an autonomous republic in its more industrialized eastern region of Donbas, and having [Viktor] Yanukovych, the Ukrainian President ousted in 2014, elected to head that republic.” 

Manafort had helped to get the pro-Russian oligarch Yanukovych into office, and when Yanukovych fled to Russia after the Ukrainian people threw him out, Manafort was left unemployed and in debt to other oligarchs. When he went to work for Trump, for free, he promptly wrote to his partner Konstantin Kilimnik, whom the Republican-dominated Senate Intelligence Committee identified in 2020 as a Russian operative, asking how “we” could use the appointment “to get whole,” and made sure that the Russian oligarch to whom he owed the most money knew about his close connection with the Trump campaign (p. 135). 

The Mueller Report continued: “That plan, Manafort later acknowledged, constituted a ‘backdoor’ means for Russia to control eastern Ukraine” (p. 140). The region that Putin wanted was the country’s industrial heartland. He was offering a “peace” plan that carved off much of Ukraine and made it subservient to him. This was the dead opposite of U.S. policy for a free and united Ukraine, and there was no chance that former secretary of state Hillary Clinton, who was running for the presidency against Trump, would stand for it. But if only Trump were elected….

And, in November 2016, he was.

According to the Republican-dominated Senate Intelligence Committee, Manafort’s partner and Russian operative Kilimnick wrote that "[a]ll that is required to start the process is a very minor 'wink' (or slight push) from D[onald] T[rump] saying 'he wants peace in Ukraine and Donbass back in Ukraine' and a decision to be a 'special representative' and manage this process." Following that, Kilimnik suggested that Manafort ‘could start the process and within 10 days visit Russia ([Yanukovych] guarantees your reception at the very top level, cutting through all the bullsh*t and getting down to business), Ukraine, and key EU capitals.’ The email also suggested that once then–Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko understood this ‘message’ from the United States, the process ‘will go very fast and DT could have peace in Ukraine basically within a few months after inauguration’” (p. 99).

According to the Senate Intelligence Committee, the men continued to work on what they called the “Mariupol Plan” at least until 2018.

In last night’s debate, Trump insisted that Putin never would have invaded Ukraine on his watch (although Putin in fact continued his 2014 assault during Trump’s term, and Trump tried to withhold support for Ukraine). 

After Russia invaded Ukraine again in 2022, Jim Rutenberg published a terrific and thorough review of this history in the New York Times Magazine, pointing out that Putin’s attack on Ukraine looked different with this history behind it. Once Biden took office in 2021, the many efforts of the people around Trump, including most obviously Rudy Giuliani, to influence Ukrainian politics through their ties to the White House were over. 

“Thirteen months later,” Rutenberg wrote, “Russian tanks crossed the Ukrainian frontier.” Once his troops were there, Putin claimed he had annexed Donetsk, Luhansk, Zaporizhzhia, and Kherson, two of which were specifically named in the Mariupol Plan, and instituted martial law in them, claiming that the people there had voted to join Russia.   

Last night, Trump claimed that the Ukrainians are losing the war and described how sad it was that their country is being destroyed (without mentioning that it is Putin’s unprovoked war that is doing that damage). He also significantly exaggerated how much money the U.S. has contributed to Ukraine’s defense. 

That misrepresentation lines up with Putin’s offer of Friday, June 14, 2024, in a “peace proposal” to Ukraine: Ukraine would give up Donetsk, Luhansk, Zaporizhzhia, and Kherson, including far more territory than Putin’s troops occupy, in exchange for a ceasefire. Putin said, “If Kyiv and the Western capitals refuse it, as before, then in the end, that’s their…political and moral responsibility for the continuation of bloodshed.” He also demanded an end to all sanctions and that Ukraine abandon its plan to join the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). (Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky rejected the plan and noted that there is no reason to think Putin will stop his land grab once his forces regroup.) 

So when Trump last night said about the 2022 invasion, “Putin saw that, he said, you know what, I think we’re going to go in and maybe take my—this was his dream. I talked to him about it, his dream,” it sounded as if he had been in on the Mariupol Plan. And when he talked about how the war needed to end, especially in light of Putin’s recent “peace” plan, it sounded as if perhaps he still is. 

And he promised, yet again, that he and he alone could get Gershkovich released.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[sohmariku]

A fishy smell

Earlier this week I suddenly started noticing a strong fishy smell in one particular part of my house. I didn't think much of it at first, must be the ventilation system picking up on something outside again. It happens. Alhough I could weirdly enough only smell it in the one part of my house not connected to the system... raising some question marks. After a while the smell disappeared, so I forgot about it.

Two days later I suddenly smelled it again, and I realised the fishy smell somehow seemed to coincide with the moment I ran my laundry. But for whatever reason the smell didn't linger anywhere near my laundry machine. Making me wonder whether it was just pure coincidence? Either way, I could not locate the source of the smell and it disappeared again after a while, so I let it rest.

But today, when I turned my laundry machine on, it appeared again! All right then, this is no mere coincidence! This must be related!

My husband's initial internet search only gave him results about smelly laundry machines, because that's just what happens when your only search terms are "laundry machine" and "fishy smell". So I decided to tell google my house started smelling fishy if I ran the laundry and the top search result all said something along the lines, "Don't ever ignore a fishy smell in your house! It could be a sign of serious electrical issues! Your outlet might be on the brink of catching fire!"

"Um, okay... electrical issues, huh? Outlets possibly catching fire. Very well... Then, let's be a bit weird and smell the sole electrical outlet in that one part of my house that smells really bad right now, but is like a floor away from my laundry machine. I seriously doubt that will... HOLY CRAP, THAT THING SMELLLS FISHY!!"

And thus I immediately turned my laundry machine off, and called my father in a panic to ask for advice on how to proceed, because my brain refused to think clearly. He very calmly advised me to turn off the electricity and check the situation behind the outlet.

"Yes, of course, that makes sense."

A quick check revealed two of the wires had basically melted together... and the whole electrical situation behind our outlet was in fact one that should not exist in the first place.

One trip to the hardware store and with some advice from the expert there my husband stocked up on everything we might need to fix this safely. It took us like an hour after that, but everything is reconnected again and in de much safer way, we are told. The outlet still smells somewhat fishy, but I can't feel a sizzling heat radiating from it anymore, so that's probably the smell baked into the insulation of the wires...? We will have to keep an eye on it for now. As long as the whole room doesn't start smelling fishy again I think we're good.

Aside from the fact that the whole wiring was a bit wonky, this probably happened, because my laundry machine was plugged into the wrong outlet. (So the wires were getting too hot on a regular basis?) I was pretty sure the outlet I used was a seperated one with it's own circuit breaker, but... guess not. So, to increase the changes this might not happen again, I now plugged the laundry machine into the outlet that is in fact separated from the rest of the floor(s).

Ugh, I'm so tired now. Its probably going to take me a at least week to recover from this...

[13-beutelteufel]

Paradise (tlod)- Murdering shadow - Part I

Paradise - The Lady of Darkness (tlod) is a connected story. The correct order is in the masterlist in my pinned post

Belli felt terribly uncomfortable. So far they had stumbled from one horror to another and she had never had much time to think about it all. That had its advantages, because it allowed her to put off the horrors of the last few days and all the negative emotions that would definitely come, but she wasn't sure if it was worth it. And now that she was forced to think, what else could she have done, she realised the full extent of the mess. And, above all, that Moonshine was right. The assassinations had mainly focussed on her. The fact that she had been abducted to Starline was certainly pure coincidence, but after that the attacks and uncanny sightings had only increased. Phantom had tried to kill her. Who knew that he had really only gone mad because of Meira? And the attacker in the ravine. She had pushed Hermes first, but who was to say that she hadn't just wanted to take him out? And it was quite possible that it was the same attacker as the one who had attacked Amadeus and the Starline Warrior. And that had definitely been Sialia. And then her sighting here, on Chamomile. It was very likely that it had been Sialia as well. Since Moonshine had gathered all this together, Belli had been sitting on the bed in her room, worried. It bore a sad resemblance to her childhood room in the Milky Way. Was she still so attached to this galaxy? Had she still not been able to accept Paradise as her home? Damn it, they had to find Orania, banish Sialia, smack Bargoss on the head and then start all over again. But that was so much. And on top of that, the gods threw every stone in their way that they found on their own path. And every one that lay in the bushes fifty metres further on. And the whole thing couldn't be worked through systematically either. Bargoss was already bullying them, even though he was only in third place, and Sialia suddenly seemed to be after them with vigour. It was just too much for Belli. Distraught, she sat on the edge of the bed, as far away from the door as possible. It was exhausting to keep an eye on both the door and the two windows, but she didn't dare let even one possible entrance to her room out of her sight. The fear that Sialia, who was sneaking around somewhere, might try to attack her again was now too great. If this happened, Belli's only chance would be to escape by teleportation. She had already mapped out a few places that she knew well enough to land there safely. In theory, any other place was fine in such a case, but she wanted to land somewhere where she wouldn't be stuck until she could teleport back. A place where it was easy to hide and maybe not freeze to death from the early winter cold, for example. She almost put her plan into action when the door opened, but to her relief it was only Rainbow poking his head in. "Knock, knock. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." "Interrupting what?" Belli grunted rhetorically. "I don't know what women do. Anyway, Moonshine has summoned us all. We're getting out of here, it's getting too hot for her alone." Belli nodded briefly and got off the bed. Rainbow had long since trotted back down the corridor when she pulled the door shut behind her. The soft click of the lock echoed through the now empty corridor. Belli closed her eyes. Everything would be fine. They would get out of here. She wondered why they hadn't left much earlier. Because Moonshine hadn't believed her. That was quite possible. It didn't sound implausible either, considering that they weren't exactly in the best of health. The exertions of the last few days had to take their toll at some point and all their nerves were frayed anyway. In Moonshine's place, Belli probably wouldn't have believed herself either. But something must have persuaded the goddess to leave Chamomile after all. Or she had decided to believe Belli after all. She had to open her eyes Belli was startled. The realisation came suddenly and thundered through her head like a roar. A shouted order, not quietly whispered advice or a fact that she didn't want to admit to herself.

Part II:

[tangent101]

Okay. Let's think about this for a moment.

Byroden, the home town where Vex and Vax were born, is several thousand miles to the Southwest of Whitestone. Elaina, their mother, was a seamstress, a profession not exactly known for traveling far distances... and thus likely lived in the region her entire life.

Laudna's parents seem to have been farmers, living on the outskirts of Whitestone. I'm not sure if I'm remembering Marisha talking about her background or if I'm remembering fanfictions I've read, but I kind of had the impression her family was fairly poor. And thus they are also unlikely to have moved far.

That said... it is possible both mothers shared joint parentage. There is always a possibility that Matilda and Vex'ahlia have a common grandfather or even great grandfather on their mothers' side... and this is in part why they bear a small resemblance to each other.

This is most unlikely. Marisha would not have come up with a biological familial link between her character and with Laura's old character (though it seems quite apparent that Marisha never told Laura about her character being "Vex'ahlia" on the Sun Tree given that the moment Laura heard Laudna telling Orym about her past, she swore out loud and was... oh, you could just see her get annoyed and she whispered "I want to throw something at her" when the pieces connected and she was "wait... she's Vex'ahlia" (and we later learn that originally Marisha had intended on having Laudna be the little girl who took Pike's place but Matt warned of unfortunate connotations, especially as a Hollow One from a child form would still be a child in form, so... violence against kids? Not a good idea.) (Remember, Marisha was not thinking of anyone having romantic thoughts toward her character. That "unfortunate connotation" never even raised its head, no doubt... though why a gnome or halfling Hollow One couldn't be used, I'm not sure).

Anyway, that's far afield. (And why I go by "Tangent" to be honest!) So yeah, from a fanfic perspective, it is entirely theoretically possible for Vex'ahlia and Matilda/Laudna to be second or third cousins. Or even in-game for that matter. And the fun thing about cousins is that sometimes they end up resembling each other. And some wandering merchant or adventurer ends up responsible for one young woman's torture by pure chance because he slept his way up the Tal'dori coast 40 to 60 years before the events of Vox Machina. And it even gives a hook as to why Vex'ahlia goes to such lengths to have this stray girl brought back to life... because she learns they are family, if distant, and yes, she would do everything she could to bring back family.

In fact, having them be related helps turn Vex'ahlia's actions from those of guilt... to that of a girl who had lost family, lost Vax... and was fucking not going to lose another one, and pays that extra cost to ensure her cousin is alive and able to live her life even if Matilda doesn't understand why this is so important to Vex'ahlia.

That might make for a sad little tale, in fact... Vex'ahlia just idly going through old records including how one Laksonssen Harrill had gotten a girl pregnant and bounced out of town and the name sticks because she remembered tales of how that name appeared for back in Byroden... with his being her mother's father or grandfather.

I mean, just a coincidence, right?

And on a whim, Vex'ahlia looks through the family tree because it might be fun to look up distant potential family here in Whitestone and... the line ends with Matilda Bradbury, slain on the Sun Tree.

A decade or so after the Sun Tree, after saving Whitestone... Delilah Briarwood managed to kill yet more family that she never knew she had. And she convinces Pike to question the Everlight and learns that Matilda is in fact kin, and where she is buried. And at this point? Percy agrees to the extra cost, to have this teenager brought back. And it works. Matilda Bradbury lives again.

Imagine what that must be like. Your last memory is being pulled up and hung from the Sun Tree. And then a woman who probably looks a little bit like her mom greets her, calls her cousin... and probably apologizes for everything that happened to her but also fiercely calling her kin... oh, and she's the Lady of Whitestone. And she wants you to live by her side, and with Lord de Rolo because it seems that the Briarwoods didn't get the entire family after all.

What's more, she is also disconnected from time. This isn't nearly as bad as being 200 years dead before being woken by an elderly man who was fulfilling a promise but no longer felt that same love as before... but even so. If it's 15 years... or 20... then we have a girl who wakes and if she does come across one of those kids who abused her or the like then... well, what can they connect over? "Remember the time you threw dirt at me? Ah, good times, good times, right?" And the poor guy is just twitching and looking nervously around while probably planning on going off to get stone drunk if he survives as he's scared she's here for revenge.

She died and Whitestone was a piece of shit, having been rotted by the Briarwoods. She wakes and Whitestone is a shining example of progress and hope, with far more people, industry, innovation... and her cousin Vex is at the right hand of it all. And hey, more cousins, once-removed, and was she brought back just to be a babysitter? Why was she brought back? She feels... out of place. Like she's... I don't know. She owes them and knows she can never repay them but at the same time knows Vex feels huge amounts of guilt and would refuse to claim any reparations for bringing back Matilda...

She flees. She has to escape. This happens probably five years after being brought back. She flees as far as she can... getting on an airship and heading to Yios and then wanders across the border to have a meeting with destiny, a young woman in her 30s meeting a beautiful and vibrant woman in her 20s and the both choosing to travel together while in search of answers. And the name she chooses for herself? Lorelei de Rolo. Because she's not ashamed of her relation to the de Rolo family (even if it's being a second or third cousin of the Lady de Rolo) and hey, Matilda might be dead, but she isn't forsaking her cousin. She just... needs a vacation. So she keeps the name.

And when Thull murders her, Vex'ahlia's cousin is brought home. Because she's family. And yes, they did not speak... but it was due to concern she did not want to be there. And yet they wanted her back.

Au where Laudna gets resurrected late and taken in by Vex and Percy, where she is as old as his daughter but the same age as him, where she is an odd mix of sister and daughter, a mirror to vex but the same hair as Cassandra. She is so obviously related but no one knows precisely how, strangers are to afraid to ask is she a cousin, a daughter, a niece, another miraculous surviving de rolo sibling, a distant relative only recently found, nobody knows for sure all anyone is that she is definitely a de Rolo of some kind.

Where Laudna is intricately connected and dearly loved part of their family but also very isolated, disconnected and outcast from Whitestone. Taken care of and provided for but in a way that only makes feel like a burden and exasperated her loneliness.

Laudna leaves thinking she will be quickly forgotten but is deeply missed instead, where they want to respect her choice and agency by letting her go but that leaves her believing she is unloved as no one comes to contact or find when she is gone. Where Laudna slips away and is impossible to find without so they let her go and hope she is safe.

Where Laudna doesn’t spend 30 alone in the woods chased from everywhere she went, but is still deeply lonely and isolated when meeting Imogen. Where she sounds like music still and saves Imogen as the run together.

Where meeting Bertrand who claims to be a member of Vox Machina that she has never heard of makes her feel as though she really knew nothing of her foster family and makes her feel further disconnected from them. Where sending his body to Whitestone makes her wish she was going with him and hearing Imogen doing a perfect impression of Vex when reading her letter makes her feel something she can’t quite identify. Where in Whitestone they get news of someone going by Lorelei de Rolo at party matching her description and are deeply relieved she’s alive and well, where she truly is de rolo but doesn’t realize it.

Only for her to finally return home dead, the bells hells mostly not knowing her connection to them, not realizing they are bringing their dead sister-daughter home. Finding out she made another family without them, meeting Imogen.

Not being able to speak at her resurrection because they don’t she would want to come back to them. Waking up home surrounded by all members of both of her families.

[writingonesdreams]

Happy WBW, Dreams! What sort of spiritual/belief system(s) exist in your world for Tears of Iron? God(s), nature, spirits, etc? - @duskforged

Spiritual/belief system in Tears of Iron

Interesting question. Let's see:

There are no gods and no religions in Tears of Iron. People who have magic don't believe in any other supernatural than the one they can see and research directly. (There is enough of it as it is).

Since natural elements, landscapes and places have their own wild natural magical energy called magicae, that you have to understand and address correctly to use in elemental magic, people worship nature and really personify it. Gardens, rivers, little ponds to specific beaches or parks etc - they are treated as if they had their own personalities, names, moods.

It's common to talk to flowers, trees, animals, insects, anything. They are part of nature, pure and magical in a humanely uncorrupted way.

It's believed animals become spirits after their deaths and join up in the flow of magical energy in the air that runs through the universe. There are even instances where you can see this happen, giant ghostly silver whales swimming through the sky, antilopes running through snow forests, wolves and lions and fish at the beach. The Flying Islands are very popular spirit place for its concentration of wild magic.

I'm not sure if to include werewolves and other kind of Shifters in this universe. But if I did, it would go really well with the spirit animals. People would turn into spirit animals themselves after death and those that would be born with the ability to shapeshift would actually be those, who were particularly happy/powerful magical spirits and retained that connection even in their new human lives. Werewolves and co would be therefore very respected. They wouldn't have to hide and they would never be seen as monsters.

And I guess that would make people believe in reincarnation very widely. Not proven and not plot relevant, but it would go with the "everything is connected" theme.

People believe and worship and pray to the universe. To that vast flow of energy that binds everything together. Believing good and bad things come back, because life isn't fair, but the universe is and every action, energy, even every thought makes little ripples in the net of the magic that spreads over the cosmos and comes back. In unusual forms, not always from the direction expected or deserved, but it always comes back, one way another.

Though there are different schools of thought that think about this. One says that because of the universe and magic that connects everything, every person's life has value in the grand scheme of things, whether they achieve big things or get acknowledged for it or not. It values order, universality theory that at the core everyone is the same and should seek similar things from life. And that if you are happy or not depends on your mindset, and how you choose to look at things, cause doing things in order and how they are supposed to go is the best. Leads to perfection, impact and fulfillment.

The other considers this approach to be lazy, encouraging inaction and stagnation, and instead admires chaos as source of creativity and energy. This second school says the magical connection of the universe doesn't necessary make meaning, but underlines the importance and power of coincidence. You can never know what the winds of chance will bring or where your actions will lead, that's why you have to take chances, be spontaneous and impulsive, get out there and try things out. Cause you may never know, maybe your big meaning or life changing event waits just around the corner. It also encourages lack of planning, breaking traditions, doing new things and making mistakes as something crucial to creating your own meaning in life.

Thanks for the question, this made me think and come up with some new possible threads to follow^^

[corrie-zodori]

KICKS IN THE DOOR HOLDING A BUNCH OF PAPERS AND RED STRINGS ALRIGHT Y'ALL STRAP IN because I am on a Deltarune lore high I am here to info dump about stuff that I've picked apart from some things people may not have dug into. SPOILERS AHEAD just in case!! ---------------------- So as y'all know there are hidden lyrics in the song "Big Shot". Both in the middle, and at the end (which sounds like gibberish, and only plays IN game. It was removed in the official track.) Said gibberish, when slowed down, to me sounds like "Think its coming for me, I cant explain until youre all alone" Layered over one another. These lines are highlighted in gibberish, for some reason. I can't find a video on it, but you can slow down the gibberish and kinda make it out fairly easily. I don't feel like Toby would put this in for no reason. Keep a pin in this.

As it stands, in my opinion this is the clearest version of the middle lyrics we are going to get. https://youtu.be/KEATCOOzDYE?t=28 What I PERSONALLY hear is this: "Think it's coming for me answer the phone, I can't explain til you're all alone, it pulls the strings and makes them ring, can't tell you much - it's breaking up! (or until your heart is breaking up?) Think it's coming for me, answer the phone, pulls the strings and pulls the strings and tell you what you big sh- (bitcrushed, goes back into the song but we know it'd say big shot)" I am pretty stuck on the lyrics "can't tell you much - it's breaking up! (or until your heart is breaking up?)" as it's the hardest for me personally to make out, so if you hear something different, let me know what you think! Also, a thought that I had, is assuming it IS accurate lyrics, "I can't explain until you're all alone" in the song could be something to chew on because of one odd thing. We've seen ralsei talks to kris when they are alone/off screen from the player, explaining something (see: "so that's why-" in chapter 1 when we cut back to them, and he stops.) If such is no coincidence, why does this line appear in Big Shot? Is this connected to spamton (who we already know like 99% certain is connected to gaster, as is potentially jevil)? Or is this connected purely all to Gaster specifically? I think Gaster might be WAY more connected to Ralsei than we think. (Or, a more cracked theory, gaster is controlling ralsei, or ralsei is one of Gaster's followers. But this might be a stretch.) Now, something I'm not sure if anyone has done, is reverse these hidden lyrics. And so I did, and what I found was *very* interesting. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TQTBiBsmtsAnHXP7aEpDbINk8zHDIV5E/view?usp=sharing What I can make out is: "Help me kris - in the tears- all alone - Are you there? Are you listening? Hear me in the tears - listen for me" I presume the rest is intentional gibberish, maybe to imply that gaster is trying to communicate, but is having trouble getting through. It's literal garbage noise with actual words sprinkled in. The tears thing especially is interesting, because of this poem that is supposedly linked to Gaster. (SEE: The bottom of this rant.) Also related to Ralsei, I already personally, do not trust ralsei. He comes off like he knows too much, he is hiding the upstairs part of the castle (which could just mean its for future chars in later chaps idk), he knows where specific things are in the light world (see: when he asks kris and susie to go back to the school in a very specific spot), and he brushes off the thing with spamton neo even though something CLEARLY wrong. I love Ralsei ofc, but I feel like there is something sinister about him, or at the very least something very hidden. I speculate that Gaster may be trying to make his own vessel. For what reason, we aren't sure. Either create in some way, or corrupt even (perhaps if they aren't worthy/capable/compatible?), but all of his experiments failed (except, perhaps, who we know as Kris.) What we know (assuming that his lore from undertale DOES carry over here) about gaster is that he supposedly split apart. Maybe creating a vessel is his way of somehow becoming whole again, or returning to the light world? Why do I think that Gaster might be one of the main plot points in the story? Well, at the beginning of the game when you make the vessel, the theme that plays is called "another him" and it is literally a mix of Gaster's theme slowed down. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8U9yBPM1gY Anyways, Other hidden lyrics I noticed potentially are REVERSED things. One isn't necessarily lore, just kinda funny, when you reverse the regular spamton theme, it sounds like he's saying "give me give me, give me the key!" and "hey everyone" layered over one another. Referring perhaps to his "hey every buddy" greeting he tends to do, and referring to the keygen he sells you, which is important to him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV58sCaHJPE And this one? This one is interesting to me. I

am 90% sure this is coincidence, BUT I think the clearest thing I can hear in this is "help me Kris!" Which is... very ominous. Everything else, I'm not sure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PadUojqDog ------------------------ All of this is, ofc, speculation, and what-ifs. As we know, Toby Fox rarely puts things in for no reason, but some things COULD genuinely be coincidence. We've seen him put hidden things in songs before, reversed or not, sped up or slowed down, etc. So, potentially, take this babble with a grain of salt. There is a LOT more I could talk about especially regarding Gaster and his potential role in the story, and his interactions with these characters, but for now just have this!!

[lovee-infected]

twisted wonderland theories (part 2 ): Overblot's timeline

Oh well , seems like I accidentally deleted my previous ask while answering it...

Dear @ I don't remember your personal tag since I FORGOT to take a screenshot from the ask , I dearly apologize and I hope you get to read this anyway ❤

The ask was about the monster we faught during our first battle and the possibility of it being the overblot grim

I've been considering writing this for a while so here we go

(note : I wasn't planning on this theory to be part 2 but , why not?)

It has already been mentioned and theorized several times that the huge beast we faught during our first battle in the prolouge could actually be Grim because :

They're pretty similar in appearance and of course details

The blue fire and sharp teeth , together with tail and skin color

But let's not forget about the most important part : The signs of overblot

Just compare it to Riddle's overblot form and it'll become pretty obvious that this monster's definitely on its overblot

All these hints made us make sure that it's probably Grim..

But check this thing out :

fun fact : Did you too lose on your first battle against this creature?

Well you might feel a bit relieved after knowing that this battle was specifically designed to make all players lose on their first try . With enemy's 99999 Hp you won't be able to defeat it unless you make a team of five having 90000+ HP(It actually means to have 5 lv 100 groovy SSR cards )which isn't easy at all...might take months of permanent gaming to upgrade your team to 5 SSR to just have a chance of defeating this monster...

But what does this mean?

Was it just a coincidence and a simple randomly designed battle?

I don't think so

If they only meant to challenge the players by making them all lose their first battle , then why would they design the enemy to be awfully similar to Grim...?

Well it'll give us two possibilities : We'd face this monster again in the storyline and this time we have to surely defeat it . But considering it's awfully high HP , it's not gonna happen this soon . I'm almost sure that we won't face this monster before defeating the seven dorm leaders' overblot form , and who knows how long we've gotta wait until facing this monster again ?It isn't really clear now but we'd either have to fight it again in the upcoming chapters or we'll have to return to prolouge once again to face it one more time

But facing Grim's overblot form in the future of the game has given me another fancy idea :

If Grim , who plays the rule of MC's closest friend it the game is gonna be one to overblot after the seven leaders , then aren't we missing the high possibility of another overblot...?

Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade ; two of MC's closest friends (after Grim) who have been beside MC throughout the whole story

Let's be honest that aside the great seven and our mysterious Dire Crowley , the two of them play the most important rule in the game

Their rivalship has lead us plenty of adventures and let's not forget their mention in the opening :

See? The only non leader characters who have been put into this scene

their rivalship might seem to be no big deal , but it wouldn't have been mentioned this much if it weren't anything important...

(note : We all know that they're good friends but this isn't really going to stop their rivalship from causing a terrifying disaster...)

Also these two are sticking to each other the whole time , so I guess the both of them might evem overblot at the same time due to severe frustration , anger and jealousy

Since the game's going to be continued after chapter 7 in which we face overblot Malleus , we've got a lot to see about other characters and most likely their overblot . Except our beloved trio of 'Ace , Deuce and Grim' , the other first years as well have a terrifying chance of overbloting :

1) Sebek Zigvolt : Remove Malleus from his life and...what would be left from him...? He's way too obsessed with Malleus that even his biography is connected to Malleus (Good god his personality is really fading through his young master...) Also his sensitivity and moody personality has made him dangerously insecure and unstable

Anyways , if we're gonna consider possibility of other characters' overblot , this guy's gonna be nu 1... a simple disappointment from Malleus may cause him to overblot

2) Epel Felmier : He's really different from what he seems to be , isn't he? While having the face of a pure innocent cute guy , he's a little gremlin inside . Struggling with his unwanted fate and being put on Pomefiore's by force is really driving him crazy. His trying to prove himself to both Savanaclaw and Pomefiore students is just hilarious , but this isn't really gonna do him any good , is it? Well whatever this guy is currently up too , it's surely going to be interesting and maybe , sadistic . We don't know how much pain he might be feeling at the moment

3) Jack Howl : Personally I have no clue on why he might ever overblot. Despite his harsh appearance and seemingly cold personality , he's really calm and collected , protective over his friends , and mature . His side stories with Vil and Azul proved that he's also pretty acceptive toward judgement and really knows how to deal with different people and their different personalities....

Finally , all I've gotta say is , this game's background and characters' developments are simply amazing . I can't even imagine how much time and effort had been put into creating such a maze of mystery

In the very end , there's no way we could surely tell what will happen next . All we can do is to wait to see it ourselves

[mwolf0epsilon]

First off, before everyone comes after my butt with their "No Fun Allowed" and "Cringe" signs, this is in no way something to be taken as gospel or insightful. It's not a prophetic enforcement of canon. It's literally a theory done for fun, and to try to piece the Bendy Crack up Comics into the general and messy lore of the BatIM franchise. 

Most of you get this and don't need a big wordy warning about fanon interpretation, but a lot of peculiar people tend to show up in my ask box hoping to start a fuss over my headcanons and AU ideas, so I thought to be nice and leave a polite and diplomatic "Kindly Fuck Off" sign at the door for them.

With that said, there will be mild spoilers, carry on of your own volition, down below under the cut that will definitely show up because Tumblr mobile is a functional app that's never given me trouble!!!

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[[MORE]]

The Bendy Franchise has an established issue with cohesion in its lore. We all know what I'm talking about, we all have reservations about canonical character discrepancies (game vs novel vs guidebook) and we all have been racking our brains with a few holes in the timeline, as well as how BatDR (which is neither prequel nor sequel) will fit into this, since it's connected to BatDS and that's an established prequel to BatIM.

Granted I myself am missing a lot of pieces, having to scrounge around for info since I can't really get any of the reading material myself and rely heavily on @british-hero (who owns the novel plus got her copy of the comics yesterday), a very incomplete wikie, and analysis and theories from SuperHorrorBro's Bendy videos.

Heck, I also rely on a lot of gameplay footage, because BatIM has a bit of subtle storytelling through visual design of its levels, and hints of how certain characters work through a few game mechanics.

Through this mishmash of collecting puzzle pieces for the greater picture I even have a few notes on my phone to piece together certain events in established dates, something which comes very in handy for this theory since it talks about two particular characters, the Projectionist and Brute Boris (and I guess Twisted Alice to some extent but it's more of a note on some interesting thoughts I have of her).

Without further ado, here's what this theory is all about: Why did Norman become the Projectionist, and why did Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris?

If you think about it, there's only two creatures in the studio that really seem out of place in the world of BatIM, and that's Prophet Sammy and the Projectionist. Neither are inherently similar to any of the cartoon characters, nor are they considered to be Lost Ones. They're certainly not Searchers, but while we know Sammy is unique because his method of transformation was different, we never got an explanation for Norman's. It could be that it's a process similar to BatDR's new enemy type that's larger and seems to have bits and bobs stuck to it, but then those big guys seem like the equivalent to Swollen Searchers for the Lost Ones. The Projectionist doesn't really fit the puzzle.

Or at least he didn't.

With the introduction of the Crack up Comics collection, we get three new characters that were definitely designed in the same manner that the Butcher Gang was. Beginning with a corrupt monster forms and then giving way to perfect and pristine rubberhose toon forms.

I'm talking about Miss Twisted, the Brute, and Cameraman.

The villainous trio from the Souper Boris comic strip.

To us it's obvious the artists created them in parallel to Twisted Alice, Brute Boris and the Projectionist, but to the actual canon this actually has a bit of an impact on the Projectionist's existence.

Why, you ask? Because those characters were introduced between 1936 and 1940.

Bendy Crack up Comics table of contents, showcasing the publishing dates of the strips.

For anyone who doesn't know (either from not paying attention to the Joey Drew Studios channel audio logs, or from not owning the books) the Ink Machine wasn't conceptualized or installed until 1942/1943. Putting that into perspective, the only other thing that happened in Joey Drew Studios in 1940, was the conceptualization of Bendyland (which is likely the origin of the idea for the Ink Machine itself).

This means that Cameraman existed well before the Projectionist ever came to be, and that made me think about another thing: The Ink's apparent sentience.

I'll be frank, the Ink is very hard nut to crack. I consider it a form of alchemized entity, others consider it pure black magic, and I'm pretty sure Joey Drew himself had no idea what he was dealing with when he began using it. The fact of the matter is that the Ink is alive and that it has its own agenda. One that coincides with Joey's, out of mutual interest.

In the novels it seems to want to be free, but it can't exactly do that as a formless liquid, so it tries to body-snatch people (ex: Sammy and Buddy's grandpa).

When Joey tries to use it to give life to Bendy through nothing more than using the Ink and a template (likely a character model sheet) the Ink tries to follow the model but immediately becomes a distorted humanoid version of it (which honestly rings so many fucking alarm bells on its own). Things… Escalate there on out, with Joey trying to perfect the method and only managing to succeed through Daniel Lewek (and many other nameless Boris Clones), Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor.

An important thing to take from this, however, is that by trying to perfect this method Joey not only taught the Ink to reshape things into viable referenced material, but that he had to have lost control of just how many souls were being pumped through the Ink Machine for him to monitor and keep up.

Sammy started killing people when he completely turned, and it didn't seem to take long for him to cut down people in likely both the music and art departments. At this point he had no self-restraint and was completely wrapped around inky fingers and Joey's lies. 

Norman is one such potential victim, and Dot and Buddy even passed by his ink-wrapped body while fleeing.

Now, the thing about trying to follow a specific guide and not having the actual means to make it exactly the same thing, is an easy enough notion to get (as shows like "Nailed It", and years of trying to perfect visual style mimicry, have taught me).

The Ink likely had the template it needed (maybe a printed copy of Souper Boris that got thrown around in the chaos), the insight of what Norman's role in the studio was, the amount of mass it needed to consume and transform his dead body, but not exactly the right sort of… Centerpiece for it...

Cameraman using his lens to light up his path.

But what's a projector besides a bigger fancier camera? Both blink, both take film, same thing right? The ink doesn't see the difference and just stitches together this humanoid bootleg cameraman with the pieces it finds that are similar enough.

Mechanical blinky head? Check.

Strange round disc near the belly? There's a speaker. That's round! Check.

Film? There we go, a nice big round reel full of film in it, let's put it near the head, that's how it works right? Check.

Lastly, no Joey to actually direct this artistic recreation of a one-off character. The Ink did it all by itself while he was off getting his hand broken by a rightfully upset Buddy Boris.

If you look at it objectively it makes sense that being the projectionist tasked with not only recording and maintaining the projectors themselves, that the entity in the Ink would pick Cameraman as a template for Norman's transformed self.

It also makes sense that the Projectionist is so off-putting in the studio. He's almost perfect, but not quite because there just weren't the right materials. He's stuck in between Twisted Alice and the Butcher Gang clones as another failed recreation.

Moving on to the next question on why Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris, when she hadn't done the same to any of the other Boris Clones.

It's hard to say really, but I think it all comes down to who Twisted Alice really is. It's very likely that, as Susie Campbell, she would have knowledge of the comic strips. A few were most likely made into cartoon shorts even (which isn't an unusual assumption to make), and maybe Susie voiced a few background characters for said shorts.

Susie may have lost her role as Alice, but before Joey came to her with his proposition for the "special project" it's very likely that she remained in the studio, forced to do the voices of characters that weren't noteworthy or that she felt completely disconnected from (talking chairs and singing hens really don't become beloved fan-favourites) . Maybe if the Souper Boris story was made into a short, she might have voiced Miss Twisted (which honestly would be personally insulting considering she once had the role of the main heroine).

Point is, Susie knows her lore, and that translates to Twisted Alice's repertoire of insightful knowledge on the abominations lurking around the studio.

She never did turn other Boris clones into brutish lackeys because at the time she didn't need to. But it doesn't mean she hadn't considered it. Henry's disruptive behaviour is just what she needed to put that plan into motion.

There was already a "Cameraman" walking about, one that could easily rip apart anything it came across, so acquiring the means to recreate the "Brute" would have been benefiting from her point of view. The Projectionist doesn't take orders and can't be reasoned with, so if she could make something just as strong that took her orders she could, theoretically, be safe from most terrors in the studio. If that didn't work, she would still likely send others to their death by simply sending them down to Level 14, or maybe lure the Projectionist to them herself (just because he doesn't take orders doesn't mean she can't use him to achieve her end goals).

Miss Twisted, the Brute and Cameraman in their evil swamp lair.

But why Buddy Boris specifically? Why couldn't she have used any of the bodies laying around? Freshness most likely. Rigor mortis is probably still a thing, even for living cartoons. Easier to work a fresh dead body than a bunch of stiff wolves.

That's at least why I think Brute Boris is a thing. Susie's knowledge of most Bendy cartoon/comic strip characters, taking inspiration from the Projectionist's presence, and honestly a very twisted sense of humor and irony. In her quest to become a Perfect Alice, the heroine of the show, she ended up becoming just as antagonistic (although more sadistic) as Miss Twisted, a Bendy comic strip villainess.

[jadedadultritsu]

(hope am not bothering) So like I looked up Birth flowers for January and October (wangxian's bday months) and idk if mxtx did it on purpose but the symbolisms of their birth flowers describes their personalities v accurately and if mxtx did assigned their birthday months like that on purpose they are an absolute genius (sorry if my words don't make sense I'm not very articulate but I need to infodump on some1 so am sorry)

You're not bothering me at all! Why would you think that. 😟😖😭

If anything, this is an opportunity for me to put my research skills into practice and I’m gonna go grab whatever. Also, this is actually an interesting question! :O I will do my best to answer this. So first off, I’ve consulted google if there is a similar ask from before bc 1) we don’t want a duplicate work 2) in case there’s already an existing ask, cross-referencing would be pretty nice :D 3) my memory fails me if I did see interpretations of WangXian birth flowers before, I think I did but I guess it got lost in the v. depths of the internet lmao. So if we looked up at the same site, there isn’t much to interpret actually. But I can def connect it to some events all across adaptions with a few takes haha. 

Ok ok, so here it goes:

For Lan Wangji: January - Carnations & Snowdrops

DUDE, both flowers can bloom in the cold winter months?! And this characteristic is RARE? HELL YES! These flowers are insane, they are to be envied by other flowers they should start shedding off their own petals by now lol (lemme at least personify them). You know who else could withstand such unbearable cold weather?

Him and HIM.

Carnations are also easy to spot bc of its bright color (pretty pretty boy Hanguang-jun in the crowd isn’t smth you see everyday).

Snowdrops symbolizes hope and rebirth. LWJ had hoped countless times already for different things but it’s not like it’s all directed solely for himself. LWJ isn’t a one-dimensional character who exists just to complement (or contrast) WWX’s chara. Remember the line Hanguang-jun being “wherever the chaos is”. I believe some ppl rlly wondered why LWJ didn’t take his own life if he truly loved WWX? (wtf is that even). Who wants another vers. of Romeo and Juliet? He wished to carry on bc of their oaths (paper lantern scene in CQL) and to ward off evil. Plus, WWX’s promise aligns to that of LWJ’s moral values so he HOPED to get them fulfilled as much as possible, prolly 'til his last breath. Ppl keep forgetting that LWJ is an individual too, while I could understand and relate when ppl see them as a single unit mostly. Song Lan still carried on with night-hunting with XXC and AQ’s souls HOPING he could mend them along the way. I'd say that "if he dies, I die too" death trope is so boring now, I could dieeee myself, sir. JC didn't dismiss the possibility of WWX reincarnating. So LWJ must've his fair share of hope that WWX would reincarnate anytime in his lifetime. He's not gonna pursue love anywhere else. It can only be WWX. LWJ's rule-abiding nature loosened significantly during the Nightless City incident. Post-burial mounds siege, he didn't completely cut himself off from the sect affairs, but he did engage with them minimally. That, my friend, is his own vers. of rebirth (a.k.a. character dev't)

Snowdrops are well-known for being droopy-shaped flowers. I interpret this as, although esteemed and ppl have high regards for him, HGJ could still humble himself inspite of the facts.

For Wei Wuxian: October - Marigold & Cosmos

Marigolds’ vibrant color says a lot abt October babies huh. Marigolds symbolize fierce love, passion and creativity. Fierce love for family? Burning passion for knowledge? Need I say more? Creativity idk why but the first thing that popped up in my mind is paper man Wuxian since he’s the only one shown to use that ability. WWX also strives to think outside of the box by thinking of a fourth method in LQR’s quest abt dealing with the resentful executioner’s ghost. I recall a tumblr user saying how WWX is a nerd locking himself up in the Demon-Slaughtering Cave performing experiments, inventing demonic tools, and whatnot. So he wasn’t merely a mischief-maker all along lmao. "Marigolds also have a long tradition of being used medicinally to heal inflammation and skin problems” - sure, if transferring the cursed mark from JL’s leg to your own leg would count lol.

Cosmos flowers represent peace and tranquility. Although loud most of the time, he can read and sense any f up situation and can appreciate peace at times and as needed. “They also attract bees, so are a great flower to grow to draw pollinators to your garden!” dkdnfkdnfdk LWJ is the bee. <3

So you’ve finally reached the end, I applaud you. Congrats and thank you for keeping up with me this far. Now let’s get to the real quest, did MXTX assign the birth months to her chara’s on purpose with that basis in mind? Was it purely coincidence? I vote for the latter. If I were a Danmei author and I wanted to assign a birth month for the stoic-faced and icy personality chara, I’d conveniently assign a winter month. Same goes for WWX. Since WWX shifted to the heretic and wicked path, I, too, would conveniently assign him a birthday near Halloween. Surely, the birth flowers interpreters have also given this a lot of thought associating the corresponding flowers accordingly to the seasons while meticulously considering the characteristics of these flowers.

[geekns]

WandaVision in Color part 2

part 1 - Wanda, Vision, Monica, and Quicksilver

Billy wears dark blue and dark red (rather Dr. Strange really) while Tommy wears a creamy white over green. There is some variation here, as the twins are still growing up...

...but it's obvious that Billy is favored by Vision and Tommy is favored by Wanda. The irony is that their colors are switched in this case, since Wanda is red and Vision is mostly green.

Billy's Halloween costume is very true to his comic book costume though, and while comic Tommy favors green with orange goggles in the comics he seems to spend a lot of time being a mini-Quicksilver now that his uncle has shown up.

Wanda wore red, orange, yellow, and blue-green while she was pregnant. Orange means optimism, emotion, youth, and is uplifting and stimulating. Warmth, spontaneity, and creativity, but superficiality, impatience, and domination. I would say these are all traits that they wanted us to feel towards Wanda in that episode. It's also pretty neat that the stained glass in the house matches her striped top: it further reinforces the idea that she's in control of everything inside the Hex.

With Monica out of the way, it's time for Agnes to shine again. She usually wears black, white, green, purple, and shades of teal/turquoise blue-green.

Purple is a very strong color meaning-wise and has been used sparingly with Agnes. (It seems to be the most common color to see associated with Agatha Harkness.) Purple means spirituality, mystery, royalty, imagination and creativity, inspiration, encouragement, compassion, fantasy, wisdom, sensitivity, vigilance, fragility and immaturity, and arrogance. It is a mix of red and blue.

Teal is welcoming and sympathetic but also private, uneasy, and apprehensive. Turquoise is clarity and stabilizes but also narcissism, stress, and secrecy. Again, very Agnes.

Putting Agnes in green on the sly (during black and white scenes or when it's so dark that the green will just look black) is the biggest confirmation for me that she is one of the villains thus far.

There's no direct evidence that she's associated with Hayward--i'm still not sure what his endgame is other than putting the tech in Vision to use, to what end is uncertain--but she's definitely sus. As much as i love her she is clearly up to no good and seems to have a connection with Vision (which is probably another reason for her to be wearing green). She seems to be handling Wanda, the twins, and Vision rather handily.

Please note that I'm also not trying to say that Vision is evil (the color here, as with the twins, goes directly back to the comics rather than the story that is being told on this show) but that he very clearly chose to seek out help from the wrong people. Everything about his current situation is owed to S.W.O.R.D. (far more than Thanos) and still hangs over him.

The thing that we need to realize here is that this is not Wanda's fault. She had to put Vision back together after what Thanos and S.W.O.R.D. did to him, and he has yet to break free of it (pun intended). The Hex didn't tear him apart, it's keeping his damaged body held together and alive.

The big question:

Did the producers, directors, and costume department mean to highlight these colors? Are they a purposeful inclusion to the show? I think so, partially because the show started out in black and white and tends to be very colorful in later episodes. There isn't much coincidence when it comes to colors and art. Colors don't mean the same exact thing to all people, but they do all influence us psychologically. Being aware of them is part of making good art and they seem to be used to great effect in WandaVision. And while most shows are probably not as intent on expressing things through color in this way, WandaVision has been screaming it at us, possibly because of its comic book roots, but probably not entirely. I think we're in for a big reveal before the end of the season (and here's where it may get spoilery).

I started with the scene where Wanda left the Hex and now we've come full circle (er, hex).

I've already talked about the scene where Wanda drags the deactivated drone out of the Hex and throws it to Hayward's feet but i left a couple of details out that I wanted to save for last. This scene is the most vivid and stark use of the three main colors in WandaVision so far, the three colors that we see at the end of every episode: red, green, and blue.

These three colors that are associated with the radiation that is transmitting a signal to the world outside the Hex. Red dominates the walls of the Hex but the other two colors are present as well, existing in harmony.

Have I said Hex enough times?

As you probably know, this is a RGB Color Hex, which is how color is expressed in html format. You know, over the internet. Online. Which played a fairly substantial role in how Vision was created. (And possibly how he's been sustained?)

The flipping and flickering images in WandaVision's end credits are the same colors as in the RGB Hex, which is expressed as red, green, and blue. Overlap two colors and you get magenta (the color between pink and purple), yellow, and cyan (the color between blue and green). Overlap all three circles and the colors are mixed together to create white light (this is called additive color). If you remove all three colors you get black.

Wait, where have we seen these colors before? Oh yeah, expressed in all of the costume choices for our show's main characters. And in the scenes surrounding a certain drone strike...

It was a bright, clear day inside the Hex during the drone strike but foggy and fully dark outside. Red dot sights seem to be dominant in most films, they clearly chose to go with green laser sights for the S.W.O.R.D. team (to great effect). These colors were brilliant against the black night. And Monica, in blue, tried to extend an olive branch after Hayward outed himself as a baddy.

Fast forward to the Halloween episode, at the end of which Wanda has probably overextended herself by swallowing up most of the S.W.O.R.D. officers and one-third of our beloved trio. Things are quickly drawing to a close with only a couple episodes to go, and i think things are about to hit the fan.

The implications here are pretty clear, and this is pure speculation, but i think it's safe to say, if all three factions unite we will get light, and a happy ending, and life. If the three remain divided we will get darkness, terror, sadness, and death. No pressure.

References: Google image searches and color-meanings.com

[hoodedsuns]

Spring Bloom | Lee Felix

Genre: Artist!AU, Fluff

Summary: A continuation of Dead Leaves 

Word Count: 1.6K

Spring is without a doubt Felix's favourite season of the year. It is afterall, the season of new beginnings. Gazing at the vast blue sky through the open window, he followed the slow moving clouds on their journey, allowing his mind to wander wherever it pleased as he entertained the childish thought of sitting on one. With the weather steadily heating up and the playful but tenacious stalks of daisies sprouting up in the most unlikely of locations, the air comes alive with bubbly chatter and a welcomed sense of newfound motivation. He could almost smell the distinct scent of grass wafting through the air even though the nearest park was at least half an hour away. 

Who on earth wouldn't like spring?

Felix's attentive eyes flickered back over to where you laid haphazardly on the floor in a shirt that you had stolen from him, ignoring the way the thin cotton fabric had ridden up and was exposing your stomach in favour of lazily scrolling through twitter in search of something that could cure your boredom. It was a common sight to see on these lazy sunday mornings where neither of you felt the need to exert more energy than what was needed, completely satisfied with just basking in each other’s presence.

Bringing his legs further into himself so as to create a stabler surface atop the chair he sat on, Felix re-balanced his sketchbook onto his bent knees, left hand grabbing onto the side tightly. And with careful strokes, he filled yet another page of his sketchbook with random drawings of your figure and features as he sketched out the final curve of your pursed lips – a habit of yours that appears whenever you were focused on something. He sometimes affectionately refers to you as his little duckling because of it, although you would often just reply with an amused “I’m older than you”. 

"I miss autumn," you announced to no one in particular, causing Felix's heart to skip a beat. 

You always had a knack for reading his mind. It was something which Felix took great joy in adding to his ever growing list of 'evidence we're soulmates' that he kept track of in his phone. Or maybe it was just pure coincidence, nothing more than a mere product of him over analyzing anything that had to do with you. Even so, he'd much rather choose to believe that it was the former reason.

Stretching your limbs out wide like a starfish, you let out a loud groan before heaving yourself up into a sitting position, a dumb smile present on your face. "You know that I can hear your pencil strokes right?" You turned your head to face a flustered Felix who immediately started busying himself by babbling and stammering out excuses of how he definitely wasn't sketching you.

You smirked, having successfully caught Felix in your childish trap. "All I said was that I can hear you drawing, I never said that it was me you're sketching." Aside from the muted hum of the traffic outside, it was dead silent for a moment before Felix realised his mistake.

"You just love teasing me, don't you." He gave a resigned sigh at your amused chuckle. Felix wasn’t sure why but despite having been caught drawing you numerous times, it still made him nervous when you called him out. Perhaps it had something to do with how much of his emotions would bleed into the lines, leaving the most vulnerable parts of himself open for anyone to see as long as they had possession of his sketchbook. But regardless, he was more than used to dealing with the cheeky side of you and the first lesson he learned was that it’s much easier to just give in than try to fight a battle that already had a predetermined winner. 

Felix cringed at the way your joints popped audibly as you got up from the hard wooden floor and walked behind his chair, resting your chin on his shoulders to get a good look at his creation while your fingers ran themselves through his dark brown hair that was still a little damaged from its previous bleaching. 

Despite your outward confidence, you were still slightly nervous on the inside considering how the sketch was basically a testament as to the way you appeared through Felix's eyes. Your insecurities were unfounded however, as proven by the instantaneous fluttering of butterflies in your stomach the moment your gaze met the drawing. You were never one to put yourself down but you really couldn’t help but wonder how it was possible for you to still look so effortlessly breathtaking to him even in all your messy and makeup-less glory, feeling as though you were unworthy of how much love and awe you could feel in the simple graphite lines. He even scattered random tiny stars and hearts across the page.

Clearing your throat, you quickly grabbed the sketchbook out of his hands when he had turned his head around to glance at your reaction, using it as a shield to hide the remnants of your lovestruck expression while hastily flipping the book to a random page in an effort to distract yourself from the warm feeling that was growing in your chest. 

"Hey, that's the cafe!" Your hands stopped their movements as your eyes widened in excitement, lips quirking upwards just from the sight of that familiar and homey building.

After your initial recommendation, the pair of you would frequent the quaint little shop together with Felix having fallen head over heels with the heavenly pastries and cozy atmosphere, an exact mirror image of your own self when you had first discovered that small haven. It was the place that nurtured the shy and uncertain connection between the two of you into something more unequivocal as Chan, the owner of said cafe that both you and Felix had formed a close friendship with, would smuggly remind his employees everytime you two visited. And in a way, it wasn’t that far from the truth. It not only provided you with a safe and comfortable environment to be in when you were first getting to know Felix better, it was also where you two made it official thanks to everyone’s gentle nudges whenever you guys got stuck or too afraid to pursue something more. But Chan’s ego was already big enough without you openly agreeing with him.

"Is this the reason why you were so late that one time?" Your eyes latched onto the grey figure of yourself smiling softly, attention completely taken by whatever nonsense Chan was spewing as he cleared the tables near you of their empty dishes and cups, before looking at Felix with a deadpan expression. 

He could only smile sheepishly, giving you the answer to your question. 

In his defense, his original plan was to meet you inside immediately but he got sidetracked when he spotted you through the large windows of the cafe. You looked so happy and at peace that Felix immediately felt his heart swell with love, completely awestruck by how innocent and seemingly angelic you appeared in that moment. Which of course, led him to immediately scrambling for his sketchbook and a pencil. Felix would never forget the strange stares he got from the people who walked by him, both concerned and disturbed by the sight of him furiously sketching while sitting down on the hot pavement in the middle of nowhere. 

It was through things like this that reassured you of Felix’s affection, although he is also very vocal about it. He’s always so hellbent on capturing the little moments of you that you would personally find insignificant, encapsulating those emotions of his that no words could fully describe. You shook your head, smiling in disbelief before flipping to yet another random page.

"Oh, is this your childhood house or something?" You brushed your fingers across the page without actually making contact with the paper, marvelling at how detailed the drawing was as your eyes travelled from the creeping butterfly pea vines to the obedient golden retriever that sat on the front porch, tail wagging in excitement.

Confused by the lack of a reply, you lifted your head up only to be met with Felix's cherry red ears, his face being completely covered by his hands. Your tongue darted out to wet your lips and you ended up choosing to stay silent and allowing Felix the time to find his words as you could sense a slight change in the playful atmosphere that previously filled the air. 

Seconds ticked by before Felix opened his mouth, "It's the house that I want to live in with you in the future." He lowered his hands, voice trailing off at the end. Your mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ at his response. Neither of you had really talked about the future of your relationship before. But despite the vulnerability that was clear in his tone, his gaze was filled with nothing but pure determination, steady onyx coloured eyes boring into yours with the intensity of fiery embers. You felt shivers run down your back, having been reminded of when you had first met Felix. It was that same look of absolute confidence in his eyes, a stark contrast to his fumbling hands, that intrigued you in the first place.

Brushing your lips lightly across his, you resisted the urge to peck every single one of his little freckles when he unconsciously leaned forward in chase of more, hands reaching out to grab onto the hem of your shirt on its own accord. 

"I'm looking forward to it."

[valerianka-97]

Twisted, tangled, wicked, sick.

... That is how I felt when I actually finished that article. Heaven help me...

The 12th of July is the beginning of a new era for gothic rock trio from Massachusetts - PVRIS.

Last Friday the band introduced to the world their debut single "Death Of Me" from an upcoming third album. They also released a thrilling music video for the song.

New sound, same energy.

Death Of Me was supposed to be a new rock hit but surprisingly turned out to be the dance hit instead. Many fans were confused, some were in panic that the band switched to another genre, others were slightly shocked. But everyone agreed that the song with the video alongside are something out of this world.

Evolution of sound isn't surprising, the frontwoman Lynn Gunn is known to collaborate with pop and dance artists such as Seven Lions, TBMA and some others, so the electronics that fully replased live instruments is something we could see coming.

Anyways, the band is staying true to themselves, judging by the themes and overall vibe of their new song.

Death Of Me definitely has strong old-PVRIS vibes: the lyrics are still dark and sinister and the video is moody and ominous.

In the song Lynn tells us the story of obsessive love. Obsessive, passionate and dangerous love. Or dedication. It's still a mystery whether she's referring to her love relationship or to something else. Gunn likes to hide things in plane sight, so her love life would've been too easy to refer. The song kinda reminds me of Florence & The machine's Pure Feeling, in which Florence Welch speaks about her dedication to fans and vice versa. The metaphor fits just right to that theory.

Let's speak straightforward here, fans are the best promotion machine of any artist. We can suffocate or let them breath, we can literally be the death of them, because fans are the ones who put an artist on a pedestal and fans can kick them back down. It also reminds me of something else. Something more important and global. But I will leave that thoughts for later in the article.

The music video here is another story but also is an adding to that theory. I'll talk about it more below.

First, let's take a closer look at all the mysteries in the vid.

The biblical theme is the one we notice first of all, it's very simple, and there is a reason of that obviousness. While fans are building logical connections with the first visual metaphor of the seduction of Eve by the devil in a snake's appearance with the song lyrics and then enjoying passionate sequences and the cult initiation, the most interesting metaphors are carefully hidden. The devil is in the details, guys.

The storyline of the video is built on hidden metaphors. Some of them may or may not be intentional, maybe I just built logical connections where there is none but you surely will find my observations interesting.

The seduction and the forbidden fruit are not the only symbols from the Bible. We can see the new members of cult going through initiation. But have you noticed that all of them are of different races? There are black people, asians and white people. It got to me when I wondered about the symbolism of the pyramid formed by the cultists with our trio in the heart of it - which is also may be symbolic and may represent the three ascendants of Noah (or is it too complicated? It may be unintentional). Here we've got the Tower of Babel metaphor.

Next on - the red aquarium. I've already said in a comment section for the video on YouTube that aquarium represents the falling of Adam and Eve from heaven. It's a small piece but key one, keep that in mind.

Now, remember the line in the song "I'm falling, fading, and seeing angels". This line is not just the reference to Demon Limbs. Everyone has noticed that the band made a colorful music video. And the colors in it were not chosen randomly. The band and everyone in the sequence dressed in white instead of classical culty black wearing. Knowing of the falling from heaven metaphor in the video and connecting it to the line from the song we've got our "angels" Lynn talks about. And that's not all of it.

The Tower of Babel in the Bible is known to represent a kind of an act of rebellion against God. The whole cult sequense symbolizes that at some point. The initiation almost completely recreates the holy communion. This, overall, may represent the creation of the alternative religion as a counterweight to the original one and creating their own kind of heaven on Earth, which for some may look more like hell. But that's, my friends, is parallax. Another reference to song lyrics.

And my favorite metaphor, which is also pretty simple but hidden in plain sight. The whole song with its dark, seductive, even erotic, at some poin, vibes is a hint, not to count pretty obvious visualisations in the video.

Lust. The most pleasant one of all deadly sins. Tangled bodies moving rhythmically to the heartbeat and everyone's in rapture. Passionate, isn't it? I mentioned hell lately on purpose. "One man's hell is another's God, it's all about perspective, a parallax". Lynn Gunn surely knows how to play with words and the visuals.

The storyline starts at the actual end of the music video. Why not the snake sequence? You may ask. In fact, it all begun with a snake and an apple, right?

Like I've said, the colors chosen for the video are not accidental. Red color symbolizes not only passion but also hell. And it is known that Eve was in heaven at the moment of seduction. Which led me to conclusion where the story actually begins. And the pyramid sequence is an actual end (which is to be continued).

The ones, who were fallen and forbidden to come back to heaven gardens for they've sinned, united and built their own garden on Earth and they rule it like God rules heavens.

They've sinned at God's perspective, yet they see it as holy communion from theirs.

Now let's come back to my theory of the song's meaning. Why I think it may be about the fans and something more global.

The first time I've watched and listened to the music video, it kinda reminded me of Britney Spears. Let me explain this absurd. Britney's fame became hell for her in mid-2000's. We all remember that.

That's one piece.

In 2011 Spears released a music video for the song Till The World Ends.

The sequences in that video at some point are repeated in Death Of Me: it caught my attention the second I've seen tangled bodies in a rhytmic movement. In Britney's video the storyline's mostly situated underground, where everyone is dying of the hell of a heat, and the colors in both videos are similar, also the dance-y vibe in the darkness of the underground kinda the same. That's the piece no2.

And the dance with a snake was Britney's most iconic performance back in 200(5?). That's the 3rd one.

Not only the music video led me here. Lynn's "You're a cold-blooded killer only after dark but I don't mind" also reminded me of Britney's song Criminal.

Yes, that all may be just coincidence, because "why the fck Britney Spears? Nothin' in common".

And that's when the song lyrics come up and make sense of all of it. Again, the line about hell in perspective, the line about a noose around Lynn's neck or a poison, the line about danger. I've thought about Britney Spears because she is the best example of what the pressure of huge responsibility for fanbase and fame in general can do to people. Break them, suffocate and be the death of them.

We know that coincidences are not accidental, not with PVRIS. Lynn's metaphors have always been much deeper than it has seemed, so I guess that's a good and well argumented theory.

And don't you think that it's finished. There's more.

Death Of Me also wasn't chosen to be the debut single by accident. From all written above, the song is a perfect metaphor itself for the band's prevous album. All We Know Of Heaven, All We Need Of Hell. Which makes it a great bridge between what we already know and what is soon to be released. My guess is we're about to find out more about heaven and get something else from hell.

I've done pretty heavy work in analyzing everything, and trust me, it was hell. But I enjoyed every hour of it. Twisted, huh?

P. S. While writing a draft to the article I couldn't decide whose name to place in a metaphor with the snake, so at first I wrote "devil's seduction of Eve/Lynn" and accidentally found this strange reference. EVELYNN. Two names, Eve and Lynn, in one Evelynn. And Lynn as Eve in the video. And Evelynn short names are both Eve and Lynn.. Damn, I confused it even more.

Update:

My brain almost exploded yesterday while writing all this. The article is so loaded with information, so I desided not to mention some symbols. Today, as I had a good night of sleep (after very brutal insomnia issues) I realized that the analysis can't be completed without those little details.

The names puzzle above is one of them but I mannaged to put it somehow anyway.

There are several more things to say about symbolism though. One of the them is obvious and everyone noticed it from the start but not everyone is aware of the meaning of that metaphor.

Not all of us know how to read tarot cards, me included. The representation of a tarot card "Three of Swords" - the knives Lynn, Brian and Alex pierced an apple with.

The card's meaning is a heartbreak, sorrow, grief, pain caused by someone's words or actions. It also has a meaning of emotional release and a reminder that the dark clouds building above your head will disappear and take the pain away with it.

The scene of stabbing the apple by the trio most likely symbolizes their expression of that pain and releasing it the moment the apple is pierced.

There is also a colorful symbol which is not that easy to acknowledge but is also put right in front of our sight. I had this thought since the first time I watched the video but didn't bring much attention to it. I came back to it after looking in to flowers handbook.

The flowers on the table in the music video are white lenagolds. Why lenagolds? Why not roses or lilies?

The christian legends say that lenagolds turned up on Earth with the walking of messiah. The Mother's tears that fallen when Jesus carried his cross turned into lenagolds.

Basic meaning of lenagolds is love and devotion. The definition of white lenagolds is sincerity and purity of feelings, loyalty, gratitude and luck.

Note that the flowers laying on the cult's joint table, which also may symbolize the band's devotion and love for the fanbase.

There is another hidden symbol I noticed but didn't manage to solve. Maybe some of you have thoughts on that?

When the cultists stand in two rows facing one another, at first I thought they carried flowers, this scene was really glimpse, so I played it in slow motion. They carried busts.

Not sure what that means, because I can't see whose busts there are, what I'm sure of is that this scene is related to a short shot of a woman's head with bloody tear streaking. Maybe that also reffers to that legend with lenagolds?

Anyways, thank you for reading! I hope you made it down here and I didn't waste your time

If you liked it, please reblog. Would be much appreciated!