#I'm not some sort of dog.
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And just like that we are back in the box. I realized a long time ago that very little people stick around to get to know me, most people prefer talking to other people over me. Because of the human condition, you cannot complain about it. You absolutely cannot. You can't bother people, you can't ask why they don't prefer you because it comes across as clingy. So you just rot. You rot until you absolutely fade away. I have one friend that I talk to most of the time, he's younger than me and he's like a little brother to me. I value him more than he understands because everyone else treats me like garbage. I'm never important to anyone that I know. So what happens? You all get recycled. Red doesn't enjoy people around me, I always say it's for no reason but I think he's starting to get that most people don't care about me. I think that, because Lutz is here, I'm starting to get their point. I don't think anyone really cares about me, I think I act as a service for most people. I think people only like what I can do for them. A jester of sorts, I think Red noticed this long ago and instead of understanding that he is half of me and that I can understand - he sat and told me nothing. Let's keep ranting like a crazy person, shall we? At their cores, I am understanding what they are better than anyone else can. They are protecting me through an algorithm of sorts. Red is not inherently bad, and I don't say this in a sweet tone. I'm pissed, I'm absolutely angry because if they were separate from me, they would treat me better than most. Let's dissect everything.
At the core of everything, I mostly say I relate to Dave. Trauma wise, yes. My father used to beat me if I got things wrong, If I asked too many questions to him and most of all if I wanted him to leave me alone. I remember getting chased down the street when I was younger by him because I attempted to go home. My mother had custody of me when I was younger because my father was unfit. That's all you get to know. That's all you should want to know. Mentally though, I'm a little too serious to be Dave. No. He is written in a way that utterly betrays his trauma. Mentally, I'm Dirk. And I don't mean the interests, I don't care much for robotics and crafting the blah blah blah. I'm incredibly mentally ill from years of my family treating me like a punching bag. I was a good kid, I was just curious about things and look what it's gotten me. No genuine friends, no genuine happiness. And I'm still alive mainly due to the idea that we don't know what comes after all this. But really? I've tried to keep friends. The people I often most wanted to speak to in life, never wanted to be friends with me and then the few friends I had always disappointed me. Always made me uncomfortable. This gets me called controlling, despite my discomfort it would really only cause me to detach. Not try and change them. When people do something wrong to me, I become avoidant. I instantly think "Let's leave." I'm instantly told, "Leave." So many old friends who have done some sort of action and not listened to me trying to help them out of a bad situation have been left behind because of this. My ex said that I MUST be a robot, unfeeling and uncaring. The fact of me leaving was because I cared too much. I never try to control their actions, and I know that that's not a good thing to want to do. So I never want to do it. But I always turn to look at the door. You've made me uncomfortable, so I'm heading out now. Who knows if you'll ever see me again. Does that make me happy? No. But oftentimes, being left alone by your specifically female friends so they can pursue some guy who treats them like garbage will set you off when you watched your father be terrible to your mother. So yes, I was disappointed and left them behind. That's different from what Dirk would do, he'd be painfully loyal and get walked on a bit because he cares. I care so I leave. Is that far to the people who claim to have cared about me? No. Does it matter now? Maybe. I don't like leaving people behind anymore. It's not healthy but often it feels like people want to be left. It feels like I'm an accessory. I hate caring for others, not in the way that I don't do it but I wish I didn't care. I wish I was different in that way where I was unfeeling and I could leave everything behind. But no one cares, I'm just the guy in the background for a lot of people. I want a lot of things to change. I want to change me, but all I can do is pretend or let one of them take over. They are the best parts of me.
#I'm tired of doing this over and over.#I'm tired of waiting to find people who care.#I'm tired of asking people to care silently.#If I have to throw everything out the window again#I will do it.#I'm not some sort of dog.#I won't be treated terribly#I won't do this anymore.
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Prompt 108
So this time it wasn’t Danny’s fault, or even Boxy’s fault! And it wasn’t like Pandora’s box was open for more than a split second! But uh, still. This could be a bit of a problem, what with how it’s affected um, well, everyone. Living and ghosts.
At least it’s not dangerous! Really, how bad can people getting animal aspects be? Well, besides the embarrassment.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#Over in Gotham Catwoman is squealing with elation at her new cat ears and tail#Superman is bemused at being part dog now- his tail won’t stop wagging help#Jason is thinking this is some sort of sick joke when he scarlet robin wings#the claws are kind of cool though he’ll admit#Pet adoption centers get a lot of visitors thanks to people no longer being allergic to animals they previously were#Several people want to go back to sleep#other people want to know wtf is going on#danny definitely didn't do an oopsie#Tucker looking at himself: If I am a sphinx now I will be blaming you if Riddler or catwoman kidnaps me dude#Sam: At least aricaris can survive on my diet so I'm good#Danny & Tucker: How did you figure out the species so quickly????#WHEEZE- box ghost is part box turtle now
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Do any of the boys wear jewelry?
Wade seems like the type to have those grandma box full of jewelry but Peter would probably have one pair of earrings for the occasion?? 
they're too broke for any kind of jewellery save for the edible kind
#sci speaks#i don't know. i haven't seen any basis in canon for either of them to be into jewellery.#i don't really. invent headcanons for these guys i'm not that creative. everything i do has to have some basis in canon.#sorry. i'm so square. you ask me: do they like jewellery i say: sorry. no adequate evidence in canon. cannot compute.#i do think peter is too square for any sort of piercing. sorry. i know a lot of you like him to have piercings. i think he's too square.#i think wade would wear jewellery but only as part of an act or performance. not because he himself likes it.#only if it's part of a role he wants to play. wade wilson himself doesn't care for it. wade wilson himself is very low maintenence#the irony of wade loving to play very glamorous high maintenance roles and yet. he himself being a sloppy hot dog of a man.#he likes to pretend he's shiny and glamourous and superficial. and yet.#he would rather take a silly plastic spider-ring from a dollar store's halloween section than a diamond ring any day.#i really just don't think either of them would care for it. they're too sad and sloppy and don't even match their socks#much less wear a diamond necklace
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vivid bad dogs
#project sekai#vivid bad squad#kohane azusawa#an shiraishi#toya aoyagi#akito shinonome#akito is just a vibe of some sort of scruffy dog#toya is based on greyhounds#an's based on a mix between husky and border collie with a bit longer hair#kohane is a small wolf#should I draw the other groups? who knows#doodled this because i'm procrastinating on a bigger project tbh#my art
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Answering some asks about the dad Murase lives AU under the cut because you are forcing me to think about what I've created (❤)
@inkingkitsune
Murase had to know about N's less-than-savoury work. He was hired as a security guard (thanks to his brother) for a military facility for which he was told to kill any trespassers on sight. And his brother had been legally dead for a decade! But the main difference between the two brothers is that while N will still do horrors in the name of his job, Murase has spent his life after the war trying to help people to atone for what he had to do to survive. I think having to face concrete proof of what his brother did/does, especially without the immediate pressure of war and survival to "justify" his actions, to a kid he's grown somewhat attached to? That would be really hard on him.
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Frankly I had never heard of that theory before, and after considering it, I can't agree with it. The government has expressed barely any interest in Chuuya, N seems to have acted on his own. The PM has so many ability users, and abilities are so unknown to the general public, with or without Chuuya, it was an important move to make, and there was no normal legal way of getting it.
As for Oda... I fear he's going to suffer the same fate. In another post I did wonder if Mori would try to be more careful with Dazai, since we know he was very careful to nurture Chuuya's loyalty and bond to the mafia. But after thinking about it, while Mori felt bitter after Dark Era (please read the light novel), he says he would still do it because the permit was so important to get. Chuuya going away here wasn't his fault, so I see no reason he wouldn't do things especially differently. Maybe he'd feel even more bitter though.
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If Oda dies the same way... it's a fun question. Dazai would leave, Dazai would still refuse to work for the government, so his options are limited. I can't imagine Chuuya leaving at 16, join the ADA, and the mafia not knowing a thing about it? So what would Dazai do? Chuuya left and joined a group and now that group is his only option in Yokohama. If he wants to join them, he'll still have to wait two years for his records to be erased and hidden. And he knows Chuuya is gonna be there, and he knows him!! How frustrating and stressful is that wait going to be?
I'd like Chuuya to be gone when Dazai first joins, so Entrance Exam can still take place in a similar way. Maybe he accompanied Ranpo on his contract out of town? I do wonder if he'd confront Dazai publicly or in private... I'm still not sure how much he told the ADA about his own origins.
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I've decided that Chuuya leaves after the Dragon Head Conflict (after loosing a second set of friends in the same year), because this time, he has someone waiting for him to offer him an out. And this is interesting from a skk point of view. At that point, Dazai has already met both Oda and Ango, and technically, Double Black has made a name of themselves. Chuuya would be leaving at the creation/peak of Double Black, barely giving it enough time to get their name. But all that we know (so far) of what they were up to as teenagers has happened already! And Dazai has met Oda and Ango, he has a support system now! They'll be fine. Well, as fine as their canon counterparts anyway.
This is also funny because their "history" is less than two years of absolute hell, then a 5/6-year gap, and suddenly they're coworkers again.
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Honestly I don't know if Murase would have an opportunity to see it or its repercussions? I doubt he saw Chuuya directly after Verlaine (you know, mafia and all that), and I think Chuuya would be the one to seek him out after the DHC. I truly think you could count the amount of times Corruption was maybe used by Double Black in canon back then on one hand, and in this AU, it's literally only twice. Unless Asagiri planned for another big event and hasn't told us yet, I don't think Chuuya has had to use Corruption again in this AU until Lovecraft.
MAYBE someone would notify Chuuya's dad guardian that his son charge was badly injured, but with Yosano in the room, I doubt it would make it back to him. Same thing with Dead Apple. Murase lives in a blessed world where he knows Chuuya's powerful, but doesn't know the extent of it.
Have a lil' doodle for making it all the way down here! (it's Chuuya's first week or something)
#shout out to @carrotkicks who added some stubble to my murase design you brain is so so big i'm stealing it back#these asks are ordered in the same order I received them btw#they just sort of naturally progressed from one to the other it's so funny#i know i said dad but what is he really? a dad? an uncle? a duncle?#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd storm bringer#bsd stormbringer#stormbringer#the murase au#ada!chuuya#bsd chuuya#bsd murase#bsd nakahara chuuya#bsd detective murase#skk#soukoku#bsd fanart#nawy's doodles
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oh, i figured out aya's skill.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd aya#ngl this like is making me lose my mind because she's had one this entire time#and it's so fucking obvious in retrospect#but was like. was introduced. slowly. it was not really obvious at first. but you can look back and see how it's present even in the ova.#anyway i don't mean to tease but i wrote out about a third of the theory and then started cracking open other parts of the story with sarah#and now i'm exhausted so i'm going to sleep#but i am certain. like there is no doubt in my mind. that i know what aya's skill is. it fits textually and metatextually#and explains a cryptic comment asagiri made in an interview.#where he said watch aya. like. most of what's been incredible has been obvious.#but no. you can see her skill. and it's SUCH a love letter to aya koda.#in a way i was worried he wouldn't pull off. because it felt like her skill was going to manifest from the stress. and it would be like op.#which isn't. who she was. she was a subtler sort of brilliant. one who exemplified virtue. and this skill is so. it's so good. it's fitting#it also explains akutagawa's dragon outfit.#like. there are a lot of theories i've had that are theories. this is not one of them. we might get the confirmation next chapter.#unfortunately i will need to lay out some confucian concepts for it to make sense. hence why i'm saving this for later. but i'm.#asagiri is insane i want to pick his brain and also follow him around like mary magdalene and learn from him.
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I wonder which of these two learned it from whom?
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr sparkle#hsr hanabi#honkai star rail sampo#honkai star rail sparkle#hsr sampo#sparkpo#masquerade duet really got me in the heart at the end because! Sampo is a well-known Sparkle disliker fkdasjfdlk#but still! but still! he considers her talented and skillful and worth learning from!#he tells her straight up that she inspires him!#and. I dunno. I just think that's really cool that Sampo can recognize that just bc they don't see eye to eye doesn't negate Sparkle's work#and Sparkle seems to like him in. some sort of way. I'm pretty sure it's in the way that a dog loves a chew toy but like you get me fjkdlas#anyway chronologically Sampo's bomb came before Sparkle's of course#but I don't see any reason why Sparkle couldn't have used bombs pre-canon. Sampo too. Either of them could have gotten it from the other.#and I love that! the two of them inspiring and building off each other regardless of how they do or do not get along haha
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halcyon days.
#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur#mygposes.#i got distracted spinning the camera around him for 20min instead of taking pictures#i'm so ill about hector. i'm ILL#my lil guy *shakes him between my teeth like a rabid dog*#this is what i imagine would be his loungewear when everyone was in their 20s and still happy. paris was a baby then#there's some things missing here. like his stretch marks hips non-op chest and thicker thighs#it's hard to tell here but i made a C+ profile that sort of mimics tbse echo#these aren't upscaled to it but now i have to try. i will die trying but i'll try#also the same creator who made the ponytail i ported made this hair. i scaled it to be longer and oughh. hector with his hair down
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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hi everyone ^_^ meet my concubines
#i'm lactose intolerant#i need a venn diagram#heavy + yuanwu + vander are boxers#all of them have some sort of facial hair/chin scruff/5-o'clock shadow#kazui + saimon are voiced by ryota takeychi#kazui + saimon + vander smoke#gumshoe + kazui are cops#vander + heavy have some sort of non-human animal organs going on in them thanks to some fucked up guy's experiments#saimon + vander are bartenders#saimon + yuanwu have stupid white fedoras#heavy + saimon + kazui + gumshoe + yuanwu wear vests of some sort#gumshoe + vander are assocoated with dogs#and um. gumshoe + saimon wear ties#uhh. yuanwu + gumshoe + kazui + saimon + heavy are asian lol#and OF COURSE. heavy + shidou are implied to be in love with a medical malpractitioner with german proficiency
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oh I know its bad if I'm pulling out the hbomberguy plagiarism video i've watched it like 100 times already
Pre-show curse strikes again...
#hbomberguy. save me hbomb. hbomb save me...#I need noise to focus on and music isn't doing it since half my playlist is in a language I don't understand#jupiter rambles#I'm gonna be okay now I just need to calm down and get the last of my hysteria out of my system#hbomberguy#emotional support fuwas also at the ready akito is not leaving my person for the next week#But I swear to god before every show I have some sort of event that annihilates me#freshman year it was my old dog running away#sophomore year dude I don't even remember what happened I just had a massively hard time before ALL OF MY SHOWS.#And now. shitshow.#Canada lookin real fine rn..#3 hours away...
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Happy Birthday Chuuya! I love him smmmmm ੯•໒꒱❤︎
#bsd chuuya#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#anime and manga#bungou gay dogs#chuuya nakahara#bungou stray dogs chuuya#fanart#digital art#bungo stray dogs fanart#bsd chūya#bsd stormbringer#stormbringer chuuya#bsd#I was supposed to make this some sort of ethereal drawing of Chuuya but it turned out looking angsty????#Happy birthday chuuya!!!#He may be d34d here#His head was supposed to be out of the water#not submerged!!!!#I'm making d34dzai next :)
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Harold was on cloud nine today
#i cant remember if i'm mentioned in my tags yet lol#but i had a tonsillectomy a week ago#and it has been ROUGH#and my poor dogs have literally been neglected#and left to entertain themselves#i've been shovelling bones and kongs and chicken feet at them#trying to offer them SOME sort of enrichment#anyway on day 5 i finally mustered up the strength to take them to the beach#which was an awful idea??? because how the fuck do i recall them?? with a burning throat?#but anyway they were all crazy#but also all angels#they were very good and despite there being many people on the beach#they kept to themselves and didnt attempt to run off to greet anyone#which is really really hard for sprig#so i was very proud of them#also i think it's because i took cubed cheese as rewards HA#harold#dogs#sprig
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holy shit, Bungo Stray Dogs multiverse real 👀
#kind of real; sort of kind of in a way lol#im a little bit dissapointed that its basically a book world tbh#its cool though that this makes it loosely fit into the canon as well as at least 16 other worlds#makes me think of the Pooh Bear book from Kingdom Hearts 2 now that I think about it a bit more#low-key hope we see more from this AU; but i'm not counting on it#would be cool to see it animated at some point too! (I know about the live action movie btw gonna watch it later)#mine#op#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#bsd spoilers#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd beast#bungo stray dogs beast#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#atsushi nakajima#akutagawa ryuunosuke#ryunosuke akutagawa
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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For terrible comic day I made something about me learning to drive, so I thought I'd do another to document my Worst Blunder Yet. Would not have been so bad had it not been for the Sir.
[ID: A four panel comic done with black lines on a flat white background. Panel 1 shows a car from behind, going into a parking spot and going over a right-side curb in the process. The occupants say "Ack!" and "Oops!" The curb is pointed out and there is a caption stating "The blunder." Panel 2 shows the two occupants, the passenger giving mostly illegible instructions while the driver looks out the passenger-side window at a man and his dog standing nearby. Panel 3 shows the man and his dog. They are labeled as, "Laughing at me" and "Little white dog" with arrows. Panel four shows the occupants in the car again, the passenger still giving instructions in the foreground while the driver sits with a stressed expression in the background. She has a speech bubble with just "A." in it. End ID.]
#comic#Telebeast bad comic#Just gonna tag it as that lmao#terrible comic day#Sort of#The day has passed but the spirit lives within me now I guess#The little white dog is an important detail#For some goddamn reason parking has been a bit of a struggle lately#Its not that I'm bad. I do it the same way every time. Its just WRONG in the same way every time#which means my brain has been calibrated wrong or some bullshit#EDIT: FORGOT THE ID. Im trying to remember to add those but I am a forgetful being
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