#I'm not judging anyone because I don't know how much of this is true

[bluejay-in-write]

🌌

[kooqitas]

#pairing: virgin!dino x reader.

#genre: smut MINORS DNI | #w.c: ~2400

#synopsis: you knew that your entire rivalry with lee chan was solely sexual attraction, but you didn't expect him to invade the bathroom you were in, much less that he was a virgin.

#warnings: vaginal sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (m.), loss of virginity, spit. cute ending

#notes: i'm a little drunk (nd horny).... sorry guys

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you and lee chan are the fucked up cliché of students in the same course who can't stand each other for always competing with grades.

you've been at college for almost an year and you can't even count how many times you've argued with him, he's simply unbearable, of course, you sometimes tease him too, but none of that would be necessary if he wasn't so unbearable.

but everything changed tonight, mingyu's damn party, and now lee chan is in the bathroom with you, sucking your neck while grabbing your waist.

things just happened, one moment you were dancing on the dance floor and feeling his gaze burning into you every time your skirt lifted an inch, and the next minute, when you decided to go to the bathroom, he went after you, locking the door and trapping the two of you in the damn bathroom on the second floor of mingyu's house

"what the fuck are you doing?" you asked when you saw him lock the door.

"shut the fuck up for at least a second."

and he kissed you.

lee chan, or dino, as he is also called,  was completely possessive in the way he kissed you, it was hard to differentiate anger and desire since they clearly went together. you didn't judge him, dino could be annoying, but he was hot as hell and you knew it, you just didn't expect him to think the same of you.

"you're so fucking hot, what the fuck is wrong with you wearing that mini skirt? everyone seeing your ass on the dance floor, is that what you wanted?"

"you got turned on because of a mini skirt?" you laugh, clearly teasing the man in front of you. "how much of a virgin are you, lee chan?"

that was funny, you liked to say that dino was a virgin and he only teased you so that at least he could get attention from a woman, you knew it was a lie, after all, he was fucking hot, he definitely had the attention of any woman he wanted.

"fuck, stop calling me a virgin, we're not in college and i’m sure this shitty situation got you as turned on as i’m."

you laughed again, because it was true, fuck, you wanted to die when you entered mingyu's house and saw dino wearing the black shirt and the silver chain around his neck, it was inhuman how hot he looked.

anyways, the first move was his, he followed you to the bathroom, he kissed you, and he tried to take off your skirt at all costs...

wait... what?

"jesus christ, stop acting like a virgin, my skirt doesn't even need to be taken off, lee chan!" you grumbled at him.

"fuck, stop calling me a virgin..." he said, a little more irritated and nervous than usual.

"god, why do you get so offended by that… do you know there's no problem you're a virgin, right?" you keep teasing.

he huffed, dropping his hand from her hip in an instant.

"shit, stop it."

dino's reaction was strange. you were used to teasing each other with much worse things than simply calling each other a virgin. why was he so offended by a simple word? that wouldn't even make sense.

unless...

"wait, are you really a virgin?" you asked, trying to understand the situation.

he didn't answer you, he just started to adjust his clothes, getting ready to leave the bathroom, visibly upset with the whole situation.

"wait. lee chan, are you REALLY a virgin?" you questioned, visibly surprised.

"please, don't tell anyone about it, it's so fucking embarrassing."

"what? no! i'm not gonna tell, i just... i'm just in shock... wait, why the hell are you leaving?" you questioned when he unlocked the door.

"shouldn't i go?"

"hm?" you asked. 

"i'm a virgin..."

"yes, that was the big discovery of the night... and?"

dino looked at you visibly confused, trying to understand why you were stopping him from leaving in that situation.

damn, it was clear that you fought for the most idiotic reasons in the world, that academic rivalry was capable of making you kill each other one day, but lee chan was hot as hell, and you would never miss a night of sex with him JUST because he's a virgin... that's easily solved.

"y-you don't want me to go?"

you approached him, a little irritated, almost like when he bragged about a higher grade than yours.

"you broke into the fucking bathroom, kissed me, i’m completely wet, fuck your damn virginity, lee chan, we're gonna fuck”.

the next few minutes were marked by a wide-eyed dino and you dragging him out of mingyu's house. you ordered an uber straight to your house and thanked god for living in the neighborhood. in less than five minutes, you were in your apartment.

dino sat on your couch, observing every detail of the decor while you were in the kitchen getting him a water. when you arrived, handing him the glass of water, he had enough time to drink it for you to take off your skirt, leaving your white panties with a wet stain on display for him, who gasped when he saw you. he seemed to freeze, and everything got worse when your shirt also fell to the floor and he realized that you weren't wearing a bra.

"you're a virgin but you're definitely not an idiot, take off that shirt and your pants, damn it!" you grumbled, making him take off his clothes immediately, still looking at you. and you couldn't help but notice that the red underwear he was wearing also had a stain, and that turned you on even more.

you climbed onto his lap, attacking him as if he were prey, taking control of the kiss and watching him melt with every inch of your body that he discovered with his fingertips.

you felt him whimper inside you as you slowly rolled on his hard cock, and the sensation made you even wetter. it was clear that he didn't really know what to do, but all the tension in the room was completely exciting.

you felt him move his kisses down to your neck, shy but still possessive, biting and sucking there in a way that would certainly leave marks.

you took one of his hands and placed it on your chest, making him moan...

"you can touch it however you want... with your hands or with your mou-”

and the next second, dino's mouth was on your nipple, in a somewhat desperate way while his tongue swirled around your nipple, his hips crashing against yours and his other hand playing with your free breast in a violent way.

he was a little rough, maybe because of his lack of experience, maybe because of the horniness he felt at the moment, but that wasn't bad, you wanted to be hurt by him.

"for someone who's a virgin, you don't seem nervous!"

"shut up." he said with his mouth still on your nipple. "you don't have to remind me all the time that i'm a virgin."

"but that's what you are... a poor virgin." you teased, laughing when he got angry.

"don't get on my nerves now, damn it, i can't control myself anymore if you keep annoying me..."

"what are you gonna do? you're the virgin here, lee chan. you're the one who needs me if you want your dick to touch some pussy."

he gave a sort of grunt before squeezing your neck. you laughed a little, he was gripping you the wrong way, so you just repositioned his thumb.

"squeeze with your fingers, not with your hand!"

he nodded, squeezing a little harder as he went back to kissing your lips in a voracious way.

the excitement in your body made you grind again, and you could feel his dick getting harder and harder… you patted his hand twice and he let go of your neck at the same time.

"is everything okay? did i hurt you? did i do something wrong?" he asked when you got off his lap.

you didn't answer.

you just knelt in front of him.

"what are you gonna d- OH” he moaned when you touched the tip of your finger to his underwear.

the wet spot was bigger. and the moan he gave was enough to make you lose your sanity.

you distributed little kisses on the wet fabric, making dino moan and hold your hair while lifting his hips seeking more contact. and it was relieving when you actually pulled his underwear down, releasing his fat cock from the fabric.

his cock was hot, not big enough to hurt, but enough to fill you up completely, the swollen head and the bulging veins made you salivate

but he could barely breathe, the next second you were with your mouth on him, putting his whole fat cock in your mouth to suck as if you needed it to survive. the 'ploc' when you removed it for the first time could easily be heard from another room along with his moans, but damn, it was delicious.

lee chan saw stars when your nose touched his pelvis, a sensation he had never felt in his life, your throat vibrating on his thick cock.

and you continued, sucking every inch of his cock and letting your own saliva run down your mouth as you heard him scream that he was going to cum. it was a little early, of course, but you understood that it was his first time and he was sensitive to the new touch.

but you didn't want that.

not now.

"why why why" he questioned when he saw you stopping. "please, don't stop... don't do this to me... i almost..."

"I'll give you something better"

you said, pulling his underwear completely off his body, and then your panties too...

you didn't usually have sex without any preparation, fingering, oral sex, you usually demand at least one of the two, but seeing dino so vulnerable made you forget about anything. and that was why in the next second your pussy was going down on his cock.

it hurt a little, but the burning of being opened by a cock was extremely pleasurable, especially because the owner of the thick cock was completely crazy underneath you.

"fuck, i’m gonna go crazy, this- fuck-"

you raised your hips and lowered them once, watching him lose control.

his hand went back to squeezing your hips hard while the other played with your tits, all while he whimpered incoherent words.

"you're so beautiful" "your pussy is so tight." "so hot" "mine. fuck you're mine"

"i'm not yours!" you scolded him, going even faster on his cock.

at this point the shock of their bodies was audible, as were the eager moans of both of them, despite not being a virgin you hadn't had sex in a few months...

lee chan kissed you, the mess of the kiss making you go even harder on him, your tongues clashing and even the chattering of your teeth was extremely exciting.

you felt him pinch your nipple again, and that was the end for you.

you laid his head on the couch, and took advantage of his open mouth from his moans to spit there, ordering him to swallow it right after.

dino obeyed, he swallowed your spit and looked at you with a look that bordered on devotion. you were already whimpering on his cock, you knew you wouldn't be able to hold on to that position for much longer, your own orgasm was coming and you couldn't think...

"no no no, please don't stop," he begged, placing his big hand on your waist.

"i- i can't control it, fuck, it's too much."

the truth is that deep down he was a little bothered for not having 'done' much, after all, you were in control the whole time. and he was overcome by this, and by the overwhelming excitement he felt, that he grabbed the arm around your waist, forcing you to lay your body under his.

“le-lemme-”

he put his foot on your coffee table, and began to fuck you like an animal, desperately and roughly seeking his own orgasm. you couldn't even think, the rough movements taking you to his as you felt his cock open you up hard. the way he held your body as if he wanted to merge with you, adding to the way he moaned making your pussy pulsate more and more.

"fuck- so good-" you moaned, with your mouth glued to his, but without even being able to think about what was happening.

"mine. fuck, you're mine, this pussy is mine. i'm gonna fuck you forever, me, only me, but no one. fuck, so hot." he said between the eager moans he gave.

one of his hands from your waist went to your hair, and he kissed you, in a completely clumsy way but he kissed you, and that was how he came inside you.

you felt his hot liquid running inside you at the same time that his legs trembled. and that was enough for you to come too.

and he continued thrusting, slowly, enjoying his liquid that was now leaking out.

"mine. you're mine." he moaned softly.

"i'm not yo-"

"shhh... shut up. you're cumming on my dick after taking my virginity."

"that doesn't make me yours..."

"so you don't want it again?"

you didn't answer. it was clear you want it...

"mine..." he teased again.

deep down you knew that all your fighting had always been about pent-up fucking lust, and you were glad it was finally over.

his cock slipped out, and he laughed when your legs shook on top of his...

"something tells me you want more..."

"dude, shut up"

"shut up my mouth for me...put your pussy here, sweetheart!"

"what happened to the whole 'virgin thing'?"

"if you taught me how to use a dick you'll definitely teach me how to use my mouth"

"goodbye lee chan" you laughed.

you settled down on the couch, even though you both knew you wouldn't be sleeping there, but in your bed...and probably in a spoon...

"i'm not kidding... you really are mine now."

you remained silent.

"aren't you gonna say anything?"

"no, i think i agree with that."

#

@highvivvy

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Maybe I Just Wanna Be Yours

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: oral (f receiving), handjob, sub Loki, edging & overstimulation, forced submission kinda, hair pulling, a lil choking, I hope that's everything lol

Genre: smut and I guess fluff

Summary: You make Loki realize something about himself that he was not expecting to learn.

***

You plop down on the couch with your bowl of chips, getting comfortable to watch TV.

"Are you out here by yourself?" Loki's voice surprises you. You hadn't heard him come down the hall.

"Yeah." You glance at him over your shoulder with a shrug.

"Why?" His eyes narrow.

"I'm watching TV. You are familiar with that particular activity aren't you?"

"Yes I am, but why out here alone?" Loki rolls his eyes before sticking his head into the fridge.

"I wanted to leave my room. You're welcome to join me." You shrug.

"Why would I do that?" He scoffs.

"Believe it or not, some people enjoy doing things with other people in different spaces, you awkward little hermit." You roll your eyes. You walk over to the kitchen for a drink, realizing you forgot one.

"I am not a hermit." Loki crosses his arms. You grab a soda and walk over to Loki, leaning in close enough that he leans back suspiciously.

"This is the first time you've been out your room in like a week." You tell him.

"That is not true!" He steps away from you indignantly.

"It is, and that's fine. If that's how you like to live, I'm not judging you for it. But for me anyway, a change of scenery is good for the mind." You shrug walking back over to the couch.

"That doesn't make an ounce of sense."

"To each their own." You hum.

"You are a strange woman."

"Because I'm watching TV?" You tilt your head curiously.

"You spend your time so differently from everyone else here." He says.

"Yeah believe it or not I am an individual."

"That's not what I meant."

"No?"

"I just meant that most of the tower is left unoccupied from day to day, except you, you seem to- be everywhere." He frowns.

"If you're content never leaving your room that's fine, like I said I prefer a change of scenery. Helps mark the passage of time when we're not off saving the world." You shrug.

"There is next to nothing worth doing on this miserable planet."

"You are ridiculously negative." You chuckle, pressing play on your movie of choice for tonight. Clearly, this conversation with Loki is over, you have no interest in going back and forth about his cynicism. You hear him take a sharp breath, if you had to guess it's like one of those breaths you take before speaking but he doesn't say anything and eventually you hear his shoes along the floor and you smirk as you check that he is indeed gone.

It's not necessarily that you enjoy getting under Loki's skin the way you so obviously do, but it is rather easy and no one else speaks to him, which is kind of sad. To be clear you don't pity him, in fact this back and forth he reluctantly engages in is you refusing to treat him any different than you would anyone else on the team. It just so happens that he's easy to rile up and you find it funny but really this is just you being inclusive.

"You know y/n I don't get how you do it." Tony drunkenly says. It's supposed to be game night but after an hour Tony's of course too drunk to play so now you're all just talking.

"How I do what, Stark?" You ask.

"Deal with reindeer games the way you do."

"Reindeer ga- do you mean Loki?" You blink at him. You're not even sure how the group ended up on the subject, he's not here. How long were you checked out of the conversation?

"Yes obviously." He scoffs.

"It would be obvious if you used his name. Why are we talking about him, anyway?"

"Tony decided the next topic of conversation would be the team and somehow we got to how Loki is pretty much a recluse." Natasha explains to you.

"Exceeeept he talks to you. How does that work?" Tony asks.

"I dunno man I just poke fun at him like I do the rest of you and wait til he gets red in the face." You shrug.

"You mess with him on purpose?" Thor frowns.

"No, no! Not- really? He just, okay I don't try to get under his skin exactly, it's just when he engages with me, it seems like he expects hostility. I just give him back what I get from him and I don't think he knows how to handle that. But he keeps talking to me so I guess something about it gets through to him."

"That's very weird." Tony says.

"You're really in no place to judge Tony, we all know your list of idiosyncrasies is practically never ending." You roll your eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Is idiosyncrasies too big a word for our resident mad scientist?" You ask.

"I know what the word idiotsinkities means." He scoffs.

"Right." You hum. The others burst into laughter at Tony's slurred attempt at defending himself. It seems to be enough to change the subject and the rest of the night proceeds without another weird interrogation- especially once Tony passes out.

You lean against the wall as you listen to this guy, Jack, talk. He's close enough for you to smell his cologne, mostly to be heard over the music and the crowd of partygoers. You laugh at some silly joke of his, because he's cute and you'll probably end up making out with him in a quiet corner of the tower later if he doesn't say something stupid before you make that decision. The sound of someone clearing their throat pulls your attention from your conversation. Loki is standing there with his arms crossed and faced squeezed.

"Oh? Look who's come out to play." You muse.

"Do you know this guy?" Jack frowns.

"Jack, this is Loki, he's on the team. Loki this is my new friend Jack. Don't be rude, say hello." You nod your head towards Jack. Loki narrows his eyes as if sizing Jack up.

"Hey man. Nice to meet you." Jack puts his hand out to Loki.

"I don't shake hands." Loki says.

"Right- did you need something? We were, kind of talking."  Jack says.

"I don't care what you were doing." Loki rolls his eyes.

"Play nice Loki." You say, practically singing the warning.

"I'm not a dog." Loki glares at you.

"Well don't go around snarling like one." You snap.

"Is something- going on between you two?" Jack frowns.

"No." You say firmly.

"Alright well I'm going to get another drink, do you want anything?" He asks.

"Just you back here soon." You wink at him.

"I'll be as quick as I can." Jack kisses your cheek and walks off while Loki breathes incredibly noticeably agitated as he rolls his eyes ago.

"Alright Loki, what is your problem?" You scoff.

"He looks like a jungle cat."

"Really? I don't see jungle cat honestly, he kind of looks like a deer to me." You hum.

"Not in his appearance I mean the way he was closing in on you, like a lion waiting to attack a gazelle." He frowns.

"What? You don't think I can handle the big scary man Loki? Don't insult me, I've killed things that would eat him for an afternoon snack." You scoff.

"It's not that I think you can't handle him. Something about him was just- off. Didn't like his energy."

"Something was off? You didn't like his energy? Really that's what we're going with?" With a hand on his chest you press Loki against the wall.

"What else could I possibly be going with?" Loki tries to keep his voice steady, but with your hand now trailing down his abdomen you can feel muscles tensing under your touch.

"Truthfully I think somebody didn't quite enjoy seeing me pay so much attention to Jack. Don't worry Loki, he couldn't possibly replace you." You hum.

"Don't be ridiculous." He scoffs. You smirk as your hand dances lower and you watch him go stock still when your fingers trace along the waistband of his pants.

"You won't get anywhere by lying to me you know." You say. His mouth drops open slightly as you curl your fingers for your nails to gently caress his skin. "Do you want me to stop Loki?" You whisper in his ear teasingly. As if a bucket of ice water was dumped on him you watch Loki jump back out of your reach and clear his throat before walking off with a glare. You frown as you watch him go, perhaps you pushed too far this time. You think you need to apologize. You start to make your way through the crowd and somehow get caught by Jack.

"Hey, where are you off to?" He asks.

"Looking for you actually, I need a bathroom but I didn't want you to think I was leaving you hanging. If you go back to our little corner I will find you again shortly, alright?" You tap his chest and bat your eyelashes before spinning away from him to continue your task of tracking Loki down. You pop into the nearest empty room.

"Friday, where the hell did Loki go?" You ask her. The tower is huge and since you lost sight of him while talking to Jack it could take you forever to find him on your own.

"He's on the Balcony lounge at the end of the hall upstairs." Friday tells you.

"Thank you!" You tell her, heading for the stairs. Sure enough, there's Loki brooding on the balcony by himself. You slide open the door and Loki's head whips around. When his eyes settle on you, they narrow.

"I've had it with your games tonight." He says.

"No games. I actually wanted to apologize." You say.

"For what?" He regards you suspiciously.

"If I went too far just now. I'm never trying to make you uncomfortable with the teasing. If I crossed a line I want you to know I wasn't trying to and I respect your boundaries." You say gently.

"You think that made me uncomfortable?" He scoffs.

"Well you did quite literally run away."

"You do realize I'm a god, don't you?"

"So what?" You shrug.

"People worship me y/n."

"People worship me too Loki. Shall I start calling myself a goddess?" You cross your arms.

"Of course not." Loki looks at you incredulously.

"Well I'm just saying darling if you're quantifying your power here by being worshiped there are people who would tell you I am the path to heaven. Or, I suppose for you it would be Valhalla, right?" You tilt your head.

"That's rather presumptuous."

"Don't misunderstand here. I never asked them to deify me but who am I to deny those who believe I know the entrance heaven's gate?"

"And where is that?"

"Heaven's gate?" You chuckle, quirking an eyebrow up at him. "I don't think you can handle the answer to that question Loki, truthfully."

"You have no idea what I can handle." He frowns.

"I'm sure you're very capable honey but you've made it clear that you and I have... very different types." You say.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The frown deepens.

"Why did you run off? If you weren't uncomfortable, what made you run and hide?" You ask.

"How does this pertain to my question?" Loki shakes his head.

"My question is the answer to yours."

"I don't follow."

"Answer the question, and I'll offer an explanation." You say. Loki lets out a harsh breath through his nose.

"Your behavior, is disarming."

"And you don't like being disarmed?" You tilt your head.

"It's not something I'm used to."

"Right." You hum.

"So?"

"So?"

"You said if I answered you'd explain the connection." Loki says.

"I like disarming people. It's something I do quite well, and often. You don't seem too fond of that. Which- obviously wouldn't work."

"It's something you do well with mortals. I'll remind you I'm a god."

"So you've said but I did it pretty well to you like five minutes ago." You shrug.

"You caught me off guard." He frowns.

"It's not like I couldn't do it again."

"That's a rather bold assumption. One that I'm inclined to disagree with." His brow furrows.

"That's cute." You chuckle.

"I'm not so easily frazzled as your pathetic midgardian males." Loki insists.

"What just happened does not support that claim, but your insistence is exactly what I'm talking about when I say you're not my type. Putting you in your place would be so much trouble." You shrug.

"Putting me in my place?! On the contrary darling I would have you begging me. You'd call me king."

"What do I care for a king when there people who call me their god?" You scoff tugging at Loki's shirt to bring his face closer to yours. "Do you get it yet Loki? You want control and I'm unwilling to give it. You think too small to ever command me."

"You don't know that." His eyes narrow.

"Your breathing stuttered when I grabbed your shirt. Plus there's not a creature in all the nine realms thinking big enough to command me darling. Don't worry it's not just you." You wink at him pulling back and turning away from him to leave.

"Your attitude is insufferable." Loki growls grabbing your wrist and pinning you against the building with a hand around your throat.

"Is it?" You smile trailing your fingers from his wrist up his arm. You watch his jaw tense as his eyes snap between your face and your hand a couple of times before his gaze settles on you. His grip on your neck tightens as your fingers reach his shoulder. There, you shoot your hand quickly into his hair, fisting a handful of it and yanking, hard. Loki's head snaps back and his knees almost buckle as a strangled moan escapes from him. Your other hand grabs his wrist attached to the hand on your neck, his grip has loosened to practically nothing from your sudden hair pull but this is about power and control and if he's determined to convince you he's got some here you're determined to ensure he knows that's not true. "Let go Loki." You say in that sultry commanding tone you usually reserve for submissives. Slowly, his fingers unfurl until they no longer hold you and you finally release his hair, only to knock his ankle in such a way that he drops to his knees. He snaps his head up towards you with a glare in his eyes but all you do is smirk at him. "Shame you're such a brat, you look so good on your knees for me." You hum tilting his chin slightly. You lean forward, close enough to feel his heavy breaths against your face. "Goodnight Loki." You whisper. You drag your finger from his chin up his cheek and then turn away, leaving him on his knees on the balcony with more questions than he can answer as you return to the party.

The loud knock on your bedroom door pulls your attention from the show you're watching. You almost don't want to get up but whoever is looking for you seems rather incesent so you roll out of bed and swing open the door to find Loki in the hall.

"Loki? What are you doing here?" You cross your arms and lean against your doorframe.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Look whatever Tony said to upset you, you can always get him back by calling out that he's a spoiled brat with daddy issues and a lack of self control so embarrassingly pathetic it's a miracle Pepper wants to be within 10 feet of him let alone spend the rest of her life with him." You sigh.

"That was- scathing and rather immediate, do you just spend your free time thinking of nasty things to say?" Loki blinks at you.

"No but I do have an arsenal of harsh comments if ever I need to hurt someone's feelings." You shrug.

"I'll- keep that in mind but this isn't about Anthony Stark." He shakes his head.

"Well, what is it then?"

"Could I- do you mind if come in?" He asks. You poke your head into your room checking for anything you don't want him to see.

"Fine." You say after confirming your room is clean. You open the door fully and let him through the doorway. "What's this about Loki?"

"The party the other night. Do you, remember what we talked about?" Loki asks.

"Well yes but you'll need to be more specific on where this is going."

"I just, I've been thinking about it and I think you're wrong and I'd like to prove it to you."

"Oh this should be good. Wrong about what exactly? Because I think I made myself quite clear. You'll never get the control from me that you seem to think you want." You shrug.

"No that much is obvious. But you said I wasn't your type and I think that's- not true." Loki's brow furrows as he speaks.

"What a shocking turn of events." You hum.

"Do not mock me." He sighs.

"I'm not. You were so insistent you couldn't possibly fit the bill I'm surprised by the turn around."

"Believe me so am I but, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that night. Something about you forcing me to my knees I just- something happened."

"Something happened?" You quirk an eyebrow at him.

"You disarmed me again but- I liked it. I think. And I'd like to try and understand that."

"Say it Loki."

"You said your partners worship you, show me how to do the same." Loki says.

"And you're sure you want this? If you misbehave I can be very mean."

"I'm sure." He nods.

"Then we'll have to discuss some things first. I won't touch you until I've asked some questions." You shake your head.

"Ask me anything."

"How do you feel about restraints?"

"No handcuffs. Ropes are fine."

"How are you with pain?"

"I don't know my limits but I'm not- opposed." He says.

"I'm not going to paddle you or anything darling it's much too soon for any of that but we'll use a stoplight system anyway. I'll check in frequently but at any point you can say yellow if you realize you're reaching a limit or red if you need something to stop. You'll also need a safeword."

"I don't need a safewor-"

"I don't know your limits, you don't even know your limits. It's a nonnegotiable Loki, you need a safeword. Pick one." You say.

"If I must, I'll use another color. Gold."

"Gold?"

"It's easy to say, I wear it a lot, do you think it'll get confusing?"

"Nope. As long as it's something you can remember." You shrug.

"I can remember gold." He says.

"Then gold it is. And Loki?"

"Yes?"

"You must promise me you will use it if you need to." You say.

"I won't need to."

"Don't start with that nonsense." You roll your eyes. "I need to know you'll use it if it comes to that."

"Fine. If it comes to that, I'll use it." He nods.

"Good. Couple more components. Overstimulation and or edging. Where do you fall?"

"I think you underestimate my resilience." He frowns.

"These are things I ask all of my submissives Loki you are not exempt. Not everyone likes the same things. You're lucky I'm not making you fill out my entire questionaire right now. You'll have to do that later." You scoff.

"I have homework already?"

"If you want this to continue after today you will. For now, overstimulation and edging."

"That's fine with me."

"Toys?"

"Can we- hold off on those until we have a longer conversation about it?"

"Absolutely. How do you feel about names? Do you like being called mean things? Are there certain pet names you don't like?"

"When you say mean things-" Loki trails.

"Mean names like slut or whore, I might scold you for 'making a mess', or tease you for being responsive."

"If- you say something that strikes a nerve I'll say so. Otherwise proceed whatever way feels natural." He says.

"Do you have any questions?" You ask.

"No." He shakes his head.

"Well that's the end of the preliminaries."

"So we can start now?"

"You think you're ready?"

"Yes."

"Kneel."

Loki drops to his knees hesitently, looking at you with wide eyes.

"From here on you'll address me as mistress, is that understood?"

"Yes... mistress." Loki says. You can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to decide how he feels about it.

"I know I said this the other night but you really do look so perfect on your knees for me." You hum grabbing his chin. You wrap your fingers around his throat and bend over to kiss him. Loki reacts eagerly to your kiss, leaning up into you as much as you'll allow given your hand still holding his neck. When you pull away his mouth tries to follow yours but you hold him in place. Part of you just wants to look at Loki on his knees for a couple of hours, one day you'll tie him up real pretty and take pictures of him kneeling for you. "You want to learn how to worship me do you?"

"Please mistress." Loki breathes out. God that was hot. You're already thinking of ways to make him beg. You pull your shorts off and Loki's gaze falls to the apex of your thighs, still covered by your underwear, but his tongue darts out to lick his lips.

"Take my underwear off, with your teeth. Just your teeth." You tell him. Loki leans forward and latches onto a corner of your panties with his teeth. It takes him a moment to get the hang of it but you watch as Loki works them over your hips slowly. Once they're off, you thread your fingers through his hair, using the leverage to angle his gaze back up to yours. "Let's see if that silver tongue of yours is good for anything other than those silly retorts of yours hm?" You hum shoving Loki's face towards your pussy. He reacts quickly, tongue lapping at your center with fervor. You tug at his hair, arching towards his mouth, as he works you.

"That's it Loki, keep going." You moan. Loki looks up at you while he seemingly tries out a few patterns, trying to work out what you like best. You pull his hair when he does something you like, enjoying the way he groans when you do. "Wrap your lips around my clit and suck." You tell him. Loki is quick to follow your instructions and it doesn't take long for you to coat his mouth in evidence of your orgasm. You pull his head away from you, petting his head affectionately. "That was a good start. Up. Lay on the bed and take off your shirt." You instruct stepping back. Unsteadily, Loki stands up and walks over to your bed, stripping his shirt before he lays down. His body is stiff, probably since your instruction was vauge.

"Relax Loki. You look so- rigid." You chuckle sitting next to him on the bed. You allow yourself to simply admire his exposed chest, using your fingers to trace the plains and valleys of lean muscle that tense up at your touch. Eventually, you drag your hand down, dancing along the edge of his pants allowing the anticipation to build before you slip your hand beneath his jeans. Over his boxers, you stroke his dick, tracing veins and feeling it's size through his underwear.

"Uh... M-mistress?" He says breathily.

"What is it Loki?" You hum, with your free hand you work his jeans down his legs enough to see what you're doing to him. His grey boxers are already a bit darkened from pre-cum.

"If, if you keep doing that I'm- I'm afraid I'll make a mess of myself rather early." Loki frowns.

"So what?"

"W-well it's it's embarrassing mistress." He says, though little grunts interrupt his words.

"Embarrassing? So you don't want me to touch you?" You ask slowing your movements.

"N-no mistress that's not what, I do, want you to touch me. If that's what you want to do." He scrambles.

"See that's what I thought." You say speeding up again. Loki jerks against your hand low moans filling the room as you watch him react to your touch. You continue to stroke him over his boxers, watching the darkened spot of pre-cum grow ever so slightly bigger. You notice immediately when Loki's hands grip your sheets tightly. He must be getting close. It prompts you to increase your ministrations.

"M-mistress wa-wait stop I, I'm too close- I'll ruin my-" Loki doesn't finish his sentence. A shuddering moan accompanies the visual of his orgasm darkening most of the front of his boxers, wet streaks ruining much of the light grey fabric. There's something you quite enjoy about the sight even as Loki's cheeks tinge pink with shame. "I'm sorry." He mutters.

"Don't apologize. I wanted that to happen. As for the rest of your orgasms you'll have to earn them. You must ask for my permission to cum for the rest of the session. If you cum without my permission there will be consequences. Am I understood?" You grab his chin to make him look at you.

"Yes mistress." Loki says, eyes wide, searching your face, for what you're not sure.

"Good." You say pulling his dick out of his soiled boxers. You lick along the length once, reveling in the hiss Loki lets out no doubt from sensitivity. His previous orgasm makes for plenty of lubricant as you begin stroking him again, slowly. Loki's breaths come out in shudders and you lean over to place kisses and hickeys along his throat. Each bloom of red along his neck and chest pulls sweet moans from him until the sensitivity wears off. Soon, surprisingly soon, you see him grab the sheets again.

"Mistress I, I'm close-"

"So soon? Wow." You taunt.

"Can I cum mistress?"

"But before you didn't want to. Remember? You even asked me to stop." You slow down, almost stopping.

"No nonono that was- that was different I didn't mean it that way-" he seems to give up on his defense in favor of a groan at the sudden decrease in stimulation.

"Well, I was so kind in giving you the first one and you didn't even thank me. So you'll have to really convince me you want another." You shrug when his harsh breathing slows a bit you pick up the pace of your strokes again. When Loki grips the sheets you slow down again and when the tension dissipates you pick up. You do this three or four more times before Loki's moans start to transform in to pathetic sounding whines, his chest is red, his knuckles are white, and his dick is throbbing in your hand.

"Please- mistress." Loki pants.

"Please what baby boy?"

"I can't- I can't do it. I need to cum, I need to, please. Please mistress."

"You need to?"

"Please! Please mistress. Please let me cum. Oh god I need you to. Please." Loki's begging is boarderline hysteric, he's trembling and half of his words come out as moans.

"I do love to hear you beg."

"Please!" He whines out.

"Oo that was a good one. Very well, go ahead and let go for me sweetheart." You say sweetly, stroking faster to help him along. A few pumps later and he's spilling onto himself and your hand with a cry that makes your walls clench around nothing. You continue stroking him through it and even after he's coming down. You wonder if you can't pull one more from him. Loki jolts against your touch, scrambling as if to escape it but unable to go anywhere really.

"G-g-gold! Gold. I can't. Please." Loki pants out.

"Hands up." You say as you do exactly that. "Sorry Lo I- guess I got carried away. I'll get a towel for you." You get off the bed and grab a towel, wetting one side to clean him off and using the other to dry him after. You hand him an extra blanket after. "Give yourself some time to recoup okay?"

"You're cruel."

"I wasn't trying to be. You just- fell into your role so well. I told you I'm not easy. But I'll remember you're still new to this and be sure to treat you gently in the future. Mr. you underestimate my resillience."

"I can handle it."

"With time I'm sure. No rush now." You shrug.

"Wait- don't go anywhere please." Loki grabs your wrist.

"You need water honey."

"Later." Loki tugs hard enough to pull you into the bed next to him. You sigh and wrap your arms around him, playing with his hair gently. Loki will make for one interesting submissive if he decides this is something he wants long term. You'll have your work cut out for you, but maybe he's better suited for this than you think. Only time will tell I suppose.

***

[666writingcafe]

Top Secret!!!!!

A Group Chat Involving Everyone but MC and Luke

Solomon: It's nearly time for me to give MC their preliminary exam. How many stars is MC up to?

Mammon: you serious, bro????

Mammon: you haven't kept track of mc's stars????

Mammon: old man alert

Satan: Four.

Solomon: Thank you, Satan. What other three virtues have been rewarded?

Diavolo: Gratitude from me.

Simeon: Patience from me and generosity from Luke.

Solomon: So, chastity, diligence, and humility remain. I was thinking of having us play Tail Thieves.

Asmo: I love you, Solomon, but no.

Solomon: What's wrong with Tail Thieves?

Asmo: One, it's a childish game.

Lucifer: ^

Asmo: Two, do you not remember how MC behaved the last time you tested them? They were BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND, and it impacted their performance as a result.

Beel: That's true.

Asmo: Any twists you come up with are going to be too predictable.

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: I'm SURE you have a better idea.

Asmo: I do, actually.

Asmo: It involves testing their chastity.

Solomon: Go on...

Asmo: We'll seduce them.

Mammon: that's a stupid idea!!!!

Levi: youre just saying that because youre jealous

Belphie: *laughing emoji*

Beel: *gif of someone doing a spit-take*

Asmo: I'm being serious.

Asmo: During their last stay in the Devildom, I managed to charm them, which gained me access to their deepest desires.

Asmo: They have fantasies involving all of us. Tempting them with those will be the ultimate test of their chastity. If they're able to resist, then they earn the star.

Lucifer: That's actually a well thought-out idea.

Barbatos: ^

Diavolo: ^^

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: Fine.

Solomon: Who's participating?

Levi: mammon and i are out

Mammon: speak for yourself!!!! the fuck???

Levi: if this is meant to really test mc then everyone has to commit to the bit and you and i both know that youd tap out the minute mc looks at you sideways

Mammon: *glaring crow sticker*

Levi: while ive gained some confidence i still wouldnt be able to maintain my composure long enough to complete something like this

Asmo: I will provide the necessary information, but I myself will not be seducing MC, as much as it pains me to say.

Satan: Of course it would pain you to say that.

Asmo: *eye roll emoji*

Solomon: Do you want to judge with me?

Asmo: I mean, I kinda figured we would, so...

Barbatos: My participation will depend on what I'm meant to reenact.

Asmo: Are you afraid it would conflict with your duties?

Barbatos: Yes.

Diavolo: Well, if you're worried about me stopping you, don't. It wouldn't be fair of me to expect you to sit this out if I'm planning on participating.

Mammon: WHAT??????

Levi: bro

Levi: he literally jumped out a castle window to be with mc

Levi: he's THIRSTY

Belphie: Unfortunately.

Asmo: Not to be the bossy brother, but Lucifer, you aren't allowed to back out.

Lucifer: Wasn't planning on it. I know where I stand in MC's mind.

Satan: You know, I think I might chill with Mammon and Levi. I thought about joining in the fun, but I don't think I have it in me to see things through.

Satan: And before anyone chimes in, no, it's not because Lucifer confirmed his participation.

Belphie: We know. If it was, you'd be trying to one-up him.

Satan: Thank you, Belphie. I TOTALLY wanted that out there. *eye roll emoji*

Beel: I'm in.

Belphie: Quick question: would it be fair of me to participate?

Asmo: Actually, you'd be PERFECT for this. You can argue that you know MC more intimately than ANY of us. You'd know what buttons to push to make them really sweat.

Belphie: Okay, cool. I'll do it, then.

Simeon: Me too.

Levi: lol what

Mammon: ayo, do you even KNOW how to seduce someone, simeon?

Simeon: How do you think I'm able to write some of the scenes in TSL?

Levi: well okay then

Solomon: So, to confirm: Lucifer, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, and Simeon are definite participants, Barbatos is a maybe, and Mammon, Levi, and Satan are sitting this out?

Nine people liked Solomon's message.

Mammon: the three of us can keep an eye on luke. we can either help him run the cafe or take him out someplace fun.

Levi: you know you seem awfully chummy towards luke lately

Mammon: we bonded during our fairy hunt.

Asmo: Then that settles it. Solomon and I will meet with the volunteers for further discussion.

[lowkeyremi]

Hi there!! I’ve read some of your works I they’re really good- you’re so talented and amazing 😭✋🏾

Bakugou x reader where he slips reader a letter telling her to proofread his letter to Santa and she’s like:??? but doesn’t judge bc she loves him, and it says that he’s asking Santa for a wife 😭🥰 and then when she looks down he’s on one knee 🥺

All I want for Christmas is You k. bakugo x fem!reader

a/n: THIS IS SO CUTE OMG IM GIGGLING STOPPPP i was about to say at his grown age he got a santa list but it made more sense after I read the rest :3

content: fluff, established relationship, bakugo is silly

The old grandfather clock that Katsuki insisted he needed chimes loudly to announce the arrival of the next hour. You were in the kitchen getting a little snack before winding down for bed.

As you continued preparing your snack your boyfriend made his presence know in the kitchen with his humming.

"What's that?" He asks looking over your shoulder.

"I'm trying something new." You explain, taking a look at it for yourself. Honestly, you don't know what to call it. His eyes travel down to your feet where he can see you aren't wearing socks or your house slippers.

"How many times do I have to tell ya to wear something on your feet? You'll get sick." He complains for the umpteenth time this week.

"Mhm I know. I need you to be quiet you're breaking my concentration." He finds it cute how your tongue is slightly poking out as you try to frost this.. interesting looking cupcake.

"Doesn't look like ya put much effort or thought into it but okay..." He clicks his tongue and you elbow him in the stomach. Of course it doesn't hurt though, because he's built like a marble statue.

"Anyways, I need you to read over this when your done. It's my wish list to Santa." You don't respond right away, waiting to see if he's going to say he's joking or something, but he doesn't. You put down the frosting bag and stare deep into his soul.

"Are you serious? I thought Santa wasn't real. At least that's what you told Denki and ruined his Christmas." You recall last year's Christmas party when Katsuki harshly broke the news to Denki. The blond had a mental break down.

"I've reconsidered what I'd said before. He's real 'n I've been real good this year so hopefully I'll get what I wished for." He emphasizes that for some odd reason.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. Remember when you verbally assaulted that kid who said you look like a mean Pokémon character?" He grumbles something that you don't quite catch but you get what he means.

"Just read it." He says with a roll of his eyes. You stare at him once again.

"Ughhh be happy I love your ass. I have to stop my cupcakes to read a santa list??? How old are you five?" He knows you aren't mad which is why he holds out the red envelope for you to take.

He watches you intently as you gently tear open the envelope. You pull out a piece of paper, which reads:

Dear Santa,

It's me. Bakugo.

The only thing I want for Christmas is a pretty wife who will stay with me through thick and thin. Who's also annoying and banned from going to sleep after me because of her terrible pranks.

Thanks.

As you finish reading it you're in shock. You lower the letter from your view to see your boyfriend on one knee, a pretty ring being presented to you in a very exquisite box.

"So.. will you help Santa out? Make my wish come true?" He's shaking and he looks so vulnerable it touches your heart.

You already know your answer but who would you be if you didn't give the man a run for his money.

"Well I don't know, Santa still needs to receive the letter then he'll probably come to me and we'll talk." You say crossing your arms. Katsuki glares at you and you smile back.

"Of course I will!! I mean who else would do it if not for me?" He rolls his eyes so hard you feel it.

"I could get anyone to marry me in seconds." He scoffs while putting the ring on your finger.

"All this talk and it took you 7 years to finally pop the question." Before he even gets another word out you lean down to press a soft kiss onto his lips.

"Merry Christmas, hubby." You say with a snort.

"Way to ruin a romantic moment and hubby is not going to be a new nickname."

jokes on him hubby stuck around for a long time :3

[cosmicatta]

One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis

So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.

And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.

Some notes before I start:

The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.

I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.

For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).

These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!

The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.

Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.

I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.

But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.

The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.

What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):

P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."

P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."

P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].

And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.

P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"

But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.

It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.

In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."

P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."

Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.

In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.

P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"

Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)

Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.

Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")

But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.

In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora—Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)

In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.

His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.

We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.

The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:

P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."

It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.

The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:

"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."

It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.

Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:

The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.

Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.

Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.

Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.

Law is bad at cooking.

Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.

The Hearts’ jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.

Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.

And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!

Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part six

authors note: i'm very sorry in advance for how this ends, it was just getting wayyyy too long, and there was no good place to slice it in half, so i cut it before shit unfolds, so yes please don't hate me!!!

pairing: roman reigns x black!reader

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, suggestive dialogue, angst

song inspo: ‘with me’ by destiny’s child

words: 6.5k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

“Whoa.”

Mariah’s reaction is expected. Your living room, specifically the sofa, is occupied by several of Callie’s dolls. A tea party that you were so kindly invited to attend this morning. 

“Girl, you should see her playroom. Pretty soon the floor is going to be non-visible.” 

A small part of you regrets not trying to straighten up before Mariah came over, but this is also your literal best friend. You know she’s seen more than almost anyone else in your life, and she would never judge you, let alone over the state of your apartment when she has a child of her own. 

Mariah looks over at you with a raised brow. “He did all this?” You nod. “Why?”

“Because she’s his little girl and of course he’s going to spoil her. A quote.” You chuckle as you and Mariah decide to just sit at the kitchen island. It’s probably best to leave the dolls untouched as Callie’s likely to wake up from her nap wanting to play again. 

Mariah gives you a look. “You don’t find that weird?”

Confused, you ask, “what?”

Mariah shrugs and circles the top of her water bottle with her index finger. “I don’t know. He just found out about her, and now he’s buying her stuff? Seems like he’s trying to buy her love.”

“You don’t know Joe.” It’s an easy dismissal, because you do know him and know that’s the last thing on his mind. “That’s not him at all. He just wants to see her happy.”

Mariah looks unfazed and stands ten toes down, adding on, “then he should be here full time instead of randomly popping in.” You just look at her, slightly confused where this is coming from. “I mean, I’m happy she’s getting to know him, but this is all so messy, you know? He’s married. He has a wife, and he’s coming here seeing his secret child with his secret mistress.”

You can only look at her, stunned by her words, even if a small part of you knows there’s some element of truth. Joe swiftly dodged the only question you’ve asked about how and when he’s going to tell his wife about Callie. It was a valid question that deserved an answer.  But the things Mariah is saying, you can’t tell if it angers you because it’s not true or hurts you because it is. 

She seems to detect your conflicted emotions and reaches over with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be negative. I just remember how hard it was for you when you and Joe broke up the first time. I hated seeing you so hurt.”

“We’re not together, Mariah. We’re coparenting.” You hate how soft your voice is, giving away that her words now have your head spinning. 

“So you honestly mean to tell me that you have no feelings for him? None whatsoever.” You can’t give her an answer, or either refuse to. It’s another valid question but the answer isn’t as simple for you to express. You know you feel something for Joe, but that could just be because of the fact that you two share a child together. There has to be some type of emotional connection between any two people who create life. “Exactly. Just be careful. He broke your heart once before. Don’t let him do it again.”

Your feelings are so mixed, agreeing with certain aspects of what’s being said and disagreeing with others. Mariah has triggered some big thoughts, ones that you probably should sort through at some point. You’re just not eager for right now to be that moment.

“Enough about me, what’s been going on with you?”

You pray she knows you well enough to know that you’re desperate to change the subject. “What do you mean?”

“I feel like we haven’t spoken much lately, and I know that’s partially on me. It’s just been a lot on my end, I’m sorry.” 

She shrugs. “It’s cool.”

Something tells you that she’s just saying that, and there’s a level of bitterness towards you for the distance. But, you can’t allow yourself to be hurt by that, because it’s fair. Mariah has been too good of a friend to be ditched the minute your ex comes back around. 

‘How are things with Caleb? Are you guys getting along any better?” Caleb and Mariah have only been married for two years but have already hit a rough patch, enough where he’s temporarily moved out of the house. Last you spoke with her, they were supposed to meet up to discuss what they were going to do, especially for the sake of Miach.

“Did you see him at my place last time you were there?” Her response is all you need to know that that is still a sensitive spot for her as well. Understandably so, but her shut down is so cold and unlike the sweet, gentle friend you’ve always known her to be. You were always known as the outspoken, brutal friend, though it seems that maybe as the years go by, the roles are reversing. 

Unless there's something else at play.

—-------

Today is going to be a good day. 

For Callie at least. 

Your earlier conversation with Mariah, who seemed far too eager to leave when you mentioned Joe would be arriving in less than two hours, is still circulating in your head. You know she’s only trying to look out for you, and you’re very appreciative of that, but there was some undertone to the way she spoke to you that you can’t shake off. Like, it wasn’t coming just from a place of concern, but something else that didn’t seem as genuine.

“Mommy, why are we cleaning?”

Because mommy is too broke for a maid.

You instead settle on the answer, “because we want our home nice and clean, baby.”

“But, it is clean.” She’s not entirely wrong, it’s just every so often you like to deep clean, dusting, mopping, the extra shit that usually isn’t done with daily cleaning. 

Taking a break from wiping down your kitchen counters with some overpriced cleaner you picked up from Target, you see Callie is ready to be done, the dust rag you’d given here now sitting on the coffee table.

With a heavy sigh, you ask, “you wanna play, don’t you?” Her eyes widen and her head nods enthusiastically. A quick glance at the clock indicates that Joe should be knocking at your door any minute, so you try to buy some more time. “Alright, let mommy finish here, and I’ll come play with you.”

“Yay!”

Chuckling, you listen to the sound of her run in the direction of her playroom while you finish scrubbing the counters, even if they’re as clean as they can get. It’s most likely a result of all the overthinking you’ve done the past few hours. The older you get, the more you realize you’ve become that ‘i’m anxious, so let’s clean until we’re physically exhausted’ mom. Which, technically, isn’t a horrible thing, but it’s also probably not the best way to deal with your emotions.

Not that you’ve always been the best with that either.

And that’s when you hear it, the solid two knocks you’ve been waiting for all morning. 

Smiling, you call out for Callie who marches out seconds later with a doll in her hand. “You wanna see who’s at the door for mommy?” Callie looks rightfully confused. At the same time you taught her how to open, close, and lock the door because you never know what can happen, you stressed to her that she is to never open it without permission or unless during an emergency. So, you emphasize, “it’s okay.”

Shrugging, she skips, literally skips to the door. You chuckle. This kid has so much damn personality. Moving to the sink to rinse your hands, you move slowly, waiting for it.

A loud gasp. “Joe!”

You can mentally picture the absolute surprise and happiness splashed over her little face. Grabbing the towel to dry your hands, Joe walks in holding Callie who you haven’t seen look so happy since the last time Joe was in town. 

“Mommy, Joe’s here!” 

Kids announcing the most obvious things will always be hilarious. “He sure is.” Leaning against the counter, you focus on him. “Hey.” He looks good, but he always looks good. That was always the damn problem.

He takes in you for a second, eyes lingering longer than what’s probably necessary, “hey.” He easily returns his attention back to Callie who can’t seem to stop smiling, which makes you smile. You love seeing her so happy. "I missed you."

"I missed you too!" She glances over at you, partially contrite. “Mommy, I’m gonna play with Joe instead, okay?”

You pretend to be shocked, standing upright and crossing your arms and making a face before laughing, waving her off.

“That’s fine, baby, because I am going to take a nap.” It’s much needed. Your sleep has been kinda shitty lately, and you know yourself well enough to know that exhaustion makes you bitchy. And the last thing you want is to unintentionally take that bitchiness out on her. Even Joe. Walking up to them, you poke him in his stomach. Jesus, he’s ripped. “Help yourself to anything. Just make sure she doesn’t destroy my house, please. And make her clean.”

At that, her face sours, and Joe chuckles.

“You got it.”

Satisfied, you walk back into your room, deciding to close the door. Callie will absolutely welcome herself in if need be. Plopping down on the mattress, you stare up at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath, momentarily stopping yourself from closing your eyes. For a second, you forget that Callie is not alone and unattended, thus preventing you from sleeping.

Call it being an anxious, overprotective parent, you’ve never allowed yourself to nap when it’s just the two of you. Even when she’s asleep, and when you do, you set an alarm to wake you up every ten minutes, just to make sure she’s still knocked out. It makes taking time to rest pretty difficult, if not impossible, but it’s what makes you comfortable.

It’s an easy sacrifice to make for your child.

So having another adult around, her dad, of all people, is a nice feeling. You know she’s safe and watched over. And it’s what allows you to actually fall into a peaceful slumber. 

Just for a little bit.

—-------

It is, in fact, just for a little bit.

Because you’re awoken by your phone ringing, your mom on the other end wondering what time she can expect you and Callie to come over.

Shit. 

You completely forget that you’d agreed to bring Callie to see her as it’d been “too long," according to her. You partially agreed, realizing you haven’t visited your mom since the day everything went down, what with you reaching out to Joe again and that whole fiasco.

And that’s another thing.

Your mother has no idea he’s back in the picture.

Walking out of the room, you find them in the living room, of course, watching Toy Story 2. 

Callie’s eyes light up when she sees you, but that doesn’t pull her from her position, tucked right under Joe’s side on your sofa. If you had your phone, you’d try to snap a picture. 

“That wasn’t long,” he snickers, and you glare, stopping yourself from flipping him off.

You move over to the sofa, sitting on the armrest. “That’s cause my mom called and woke me up.”

“Grandma?”

Nodding, you explain to both Callie and Joe. “I forgot we were supposed to go visit her today.”

She moves up on her knees, asking, “can we go?” She looks over at Joe. “Joe can come with us!”

You consider her suggestion. Your mom didn’t even find out about Joe until you told her you were pregnant. You kept that part of your life a secret from her for good reasons. This doesn’t seem like the best way for her to find out, to drop it on her yet again. However, one look at Callie’s desperate expression, and you already know your answer.

“Of course,” you then add on, “if he wants to.” 

Callie, being Callie, answers for him. “He wants to!” She tugs on his sleeve, excitement bubbling. “You can meet my grandma!”

You glance over at him, “are you sure? I’m sorry, I know this was supposed to be one on one with her….”

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “If she wants to go, let’s go.”

You nod, praying this doesn’t end up being a bad idea.

—-------

“Mama!” You call out, watching Joe shut and lock the door behind him. Seeing that allows you to focus on where the hell your mother is. She usually meets you at the door when she knows you’re coming over. “Where is this woman?”

The car drive was pleasant enough, Callie talking almost the entire time, as expected. And Joe eating it up the whole time, also, as expected. 

You can see now he’s definitely going to be that dad. The dad who finds anything and everything his kid does to be adorable. You can’t wait for him to be on the receiving end of one of Callie’s temper tantrums and see how he handles it. 

“Grandma!” Callie suddenly calls, all the while keeping her hand in Joe’s. “I’m here!”

Finally, the sound of footsteps from upstairs as your mom comes down the stairs, home phone, yes, a home phone, held between her ear and shoulder. “I told her Bishop wasn’t gonna go for that, but you know how she is. Old fool.” It’s when she’s in the vicinity to see that it’s not just you and Callie, her eyes grow wide. “Cheryl, let me call you back.” 

Damn. 

You know that tone, that ‘let me talk to you’ tone. 

Thankfully, you get a brief save. The sight of your mom makes Callie drop Joe’s hand to sprint off to meet her on the steps. “Grandma!”

She leans down to pick up Callie, smothering her with kisses. “My favorite little lady.” 

Callie giggles as your mom descends from the steps, Callie on her hip, to approach you and Joe who’d, wisely, remained quiet up until this point. 

You watch your mom’s eyes land on him, but before she can say anything, Callie jumps in. 

“Grandma, this is Joe! He’s mommy’s friend and mine too!”

Fuck. Your mom’s eyes travel between him and Callie, once, twice, and on the third time, you know. You just know that she knows.

And that’s when you jump in, knowing you desperately need to speak with her. “Callie, why don’t you show Joe the play area?” 

Her eyes blaze with enthusiasm as your mom places her back on the ground. Callie’s little feet carry her back over to Joe who seems to understand you need to talk with your mother.

“Come on!” Taking his hand, she begins to direct him to the back of the house and through the sliding door. 

Your mom waits until she knows the two of you are alone to speak. “Girl, you done got my blood pressure all up.”

“Mama—”

“That’s Callie’s daddy, ain’t it?” She doesn’t even give you time to answer. “Don’t try to lie, either. She looks just like him.”

There’s no need in denying the obvious. “Yes.”

Her mouth drops open in rightful shock. “And just when did you plan to tell me he was back in the picture?” The questions keep coming, understandably so considering how you’ve just dropped this on her. “And why is she calling him by his first name?”

“Because she doesn't know,” you answer the second question, hating the disappointed look on her face. “We–he hasn’t told her yet.” 

“It just keeps getting worse.” She’s rubbing her temple and you just know she’s gonna need to take an Excedrin before the night is over. “Tell me everything. Now.”

And so, you do, starting with Callie’s initial question about her dad, to your phone call with Joe, his visit where he confirmed he had a daughter, all of it. And when you’re done, your mom is visibly shaken.

“Lord, he found out about her through social media?” You still feel badly about that, about a lot of it. “Well….does his wife know?”

You shake your head. “I don’t think so. We haven’t really talked about that yet.” Before your mom can protest, you add, “we will. I’ll make sure of it. He just wants to get to know her first. For himself.”

Your mom chuckles, obviously having studied the close interaction between the two of them in the few minutes she’s been privy to see them engage with one another. “seems like that’s already a done deal.” 

“Yeah,” you smile warmly. “He’s really good with her.”

And it’s the truth, Joe seems to be naturally good with a lot of things, but there’s something so impressive about his ability to interact and connect with Callie. It’s so natural. 

“So, are you two…..”

“No,” you shut that down immediately. “We’re just trying to navigate coparenting.”

Your mom nods but doesn’t say anything, and you know her well enough to know it’s because she doesn’t entirely believe you. But, she won’t push.

“Well.” She claps her hands together, nodding to the backdoor. “Let me go properly introduce myself, since you got me out here looking rude. Probably got that boy thinking I don’t like him.”

“I promise, he’s not like that.” You two start walking toward the backyard where you’re certain Callie is talking a hole in his head, describing the play area your mom put together just for her when she spends the night.

She places her hand on the sliding door but pauses to look at you, “let me just say this though, that is one fine young man. I see now why you had a hard time letting him go. The devil sure knows how to tempt people.”

“Mama!” You try to suppress your laughter as the two of you walk out, sure enough to find Callie on the swing, Joe pushing her as they share their own conversation. 

She walks up to him, wearing a warm smile, giving a wink to Callie. “I’m so sorry about that. My daughter just didn’t tell me you were gonna be here.” 

Joe, forever respectful, starts to indirectly apologize.  “I hope it's not a problem. If so, I can—”

She waves him off, “oh, hush.” She leans in to whisper, “you’re practically family.” He returns her smile as she introduces herself by name, he offers his, and your wonderful mother then informs, “well, this one is gonna help me tend to my garden, cause winter will be here before we know it.” She leans down and kisses the top of Callie’s head, as she’s stopped swinging and is instead sitting. Her eyes light up at the idea of gardening with your mom. The same way you used to garden with your grandma. A bit of a tradition being passed down. “And in the meantime, you two can go finish organizing the office.” 

Your eyes widen. No wonder she didn’t hear you all coming in right away. That room, once your bedroom, became your mom’s storage area and over the years has accumulated stuff on top of stuff. Nowhere near a hoarding level, but just a lot of things that she doesn’t want to part with but needs to organize. “Mama, that's not—”

“I don't want to hear no complaining. You really want me up on that ladder?” You roll your eyes, realizing she’s referring to the top of your old closet where she keeps the storage bins of memorabilia, mostly photos. “I'm not getting any younger. What if I fall? Then you gon feel bad.”

“You're so dramatic.” Your mom acts like she's 75 and at death's door sometimes. The woman is 52 and teaches a Zumba class at the rec center every Saturday. She could fall and jump right back up like nothing happened. 

She places her hand on Joe’s arm, smiling slyly. “You got this strong, handsome man to help you out.” One thing you’ve learned as you’ve gotten older is that your tendency to unintentionally flirt from time to time 100% came from your mother. Clearly. “Besides, if you do fall, you'll be fine. You got enough booty back there to cushion it.”

“Mama!” One glance at Joe, and you see him make a face that reads clearly 'she's not entirely wrong.’ At that, you shove him, not that it does anything. He's solid as a rock. “Fine, we'll organize your mess, but not for long. Joe is only in town until tomorrow night, and he did not come here to be a part of your cleaning crew.”

“I don’t mind,” Joe adds. Of course, he doesn't. He hasn’t seen it yet, and he’s a gentleman. “Whatever you need help with, I’ll do it.”

Your mom gives you another look and then looks at him. “I like you, Joseph.”

Callie lifts her head, adding, “I like him too!”

I like him too.

“Well, get to it. When we’re done, ya’ll can help me fix some dinner.” Her eyes then land on you. “Well, not you. You can make the lemonade or something.”

Joe coughs awkwardly, poorly hiding his laughter. “I’m getting really sick of ya’ll coming for me and my poor cooking skills.”' 

Your mom directs Callie to grab her caddy with their needed gardening supplies. “Baby, you are a lot of things, but a cook ain’t one of them.” She points at Joe, sharing, “remind me to tell you the story about how she almost burned down my house.”

“Okay, we’re gonna go now.” You grab Joe’s hand and lead him back into the house toward the stairs, which he motions for you to go up first, realizing after the fact that he probably did so to stare at your ass. 

This man….

Entering your former bedroom, you stretch your arm to show you just what you signed up for. He walks in, clearly surprised. “Okay.”

“Yup.” There’s items scattered all over, your mom clearly in the middle of trying to categorize the millions of family photos ya’ll have. “Still don’t mind?”

He shrugs forever unbothered. “There’s two of us. We’ll get it done.”

Sucking your teeth, you look around, trying to figure out where the hell to start. “Your optimism is annoying.”

Chuckling, his smartass remarks, “Glass half full, baby. Glass half full.”

“Yeah, yeah, well glass your ass over there and reach me the ladder. I need the box these pictures can go in from the top.” 

He follows where you’re pointing but also gestures to the closet. “That one?” Joe makes a sound and instead of following your directions, casually walks over to said closet, reaches up and grabs the box with all the ease of someone who’s 6’3. 

Smug expression on his face, he hands it to you as you glare. “Show off.”

Joe assesses you, eyes settling on your chest before redirecting them to your face. “Maybe I should have let you get up there. View and all.”

Holding back your smile is difficult, so you settle for biting on your bottom lip and bumping his side as you move past him. “Shut up.” You know his gaze is on you and that should bother you, his flirty comment should bother you, but it doesn’t.

It doesn’t at all.

—-------

“I still can’t believe you were a cheerleader.” 

There’s probably been a decent combination of conversation and organization in your time working together to ‘unmess’ your mom’s mess. That’s not entirely surprising though. Joe has always been immensely easy to talk to, to be around. And you couldn’t deny that you missed this kind of interaction with him, the most and maybe first since he’s re-entered your life. You wholly understand why he spends and devotes most of his time with Callie, but there’s a small part of you that’s missed this. 

Missed it being just the two of you. 

Chuckling, you comment, “you’re not the first. I was….different in high school and college than I am now.”

He’s intrigued, asking, “how?”

“Well, for one, I don’t party damn near every night anymore.” One thing you could never deny about your early days was that you always liked to have a good time, liked to make your expected appearances at whatever party of the week, or day, was happening. “Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t drink or smoke. That was never my thing. I just….I liked to have fun, probably too much fun more often than not.” You chuckle to yourself, grabbing a stack of photos to put in the container. “Now, I like to be in bed by 9:30, 10 at the latest.”

He smiles and looks over at the wall that still has many of your cheer accolades proudly displayed. “Obviously, you were pretty damn good.”

Shrugging, you push some of your hair behind your ear. Not that it does much. Your curls have always been voluminous and wild. “I was, but….it came at a cost to some extent. Cheer is insanely competitive, and I didn’t always handle that the best.”

Competitiveness was something you deeply struggled with when you were younger. Feeling like you had to be the best, not even better than anyone else per se, but the best that you could be. Always trying to prove that you were good enough.

Looking back now, you have a solid guess of where that came from and what drove it. 

Joe’s studying you, trying to gauge your comfort level with this conversation. “Did you like it?”

“I loved it,” you answer, honestly. “Until I didn’t. Shortly before college, I think, is when the love started to fade.”

“But you cheered in college too, didn’t you?”

You nod, explaining, “I got a scholarship for cheer, and I wasn’t about to put that stress on my mom to have her help me figure out how to pay for school when I had an easy ride.” Around that time is when your relationship with your mom started to strengthen, and the last thing you wanted to do was risk messing it back up by being selfish. You’d cheered damn near your whole life, what was another 4 years? 

“I like your mom,” he announces, almost suddenly. It’s unsurprising. Most people do. But, there is something that pleases you about her tentative approval of him and now his of her. 

“She’s really great. I don’t know what I would do without her, and Callie adores her.” You look over at him, playfully. “Not as much as she adores you, though.”

You can see the delight in his eyes. “Yeah?”

His disbelief surprises you. How can he not see how crazy Callie is over him? “Are you kidding me? That lil girl already doesn’t shut up, but she really doesn’t shut up about you. It’s Joe this, Joe that. The first thing she asks me when I pick her up from school is always if she can call you.” Deciding this is a perfect segue, you add on, carefully. “You know….you should tell her. I can promise you, she won’t be upset. She’s gonna be thrilled.”

She already loves you.

You don’t know if it’s too soon to say that, if it’s something you should even say vs let him hear from Callie herself. You just know that there’s probably very little he could do at this point to make Callie not love him. She’s hooked.

“Christmas,” he announces, adding, “I’ll tell her when I come back for Christmas.” 

This surprises you, as he hasn’t discussed his next visit up until this point. You also don’t feel the need to comment or counter his plan and timeline to tell Callie. You can’t think of a better Christmas gift for her. “You got the time off?”

He nods, providing specifics. “I’ll be here the day before Christmas Eve. Gotta fly back out on the 26th though.”

“Stay with us.” Where this comes from, you’re not sure, but there’s not a lot of regret once it's released. “I know you hate that damn hotel, and Callie would be thrilled to have you around 24/7.” Getting up off the floor, you carry the now filled container and move up the ladder you’d used a couple times because he’d been preoccupied organizing other areas. Sliding it back in the same spot, you descend down the steps only to feel strong hands grip your waist. 

Bringing you to the ground, he carefully turns you around, but that’s not what you’re focused on. What you’re focused on is how close he is to you, your chests nearly touching, his eyes burning into you. Instantly, your stomach is knotting. You know that look, know it all too well. 

“Joe….” Your voice is soft, much softer than it needs to be when trying to assert yourself. And you hate yourself for the tiny sigh that leaves your mouth when he brings his palm to your cheek. “We—we can’t—”

“I’m divorced.”

This man, so fine and kind, and damn near pressed against you is distracting, so much so that you’re briefly disconnected from what he’s just said. But, it’s forcing yourself to come back to reality that his words truly hit you. You’re not sure you could have ever guessed that statement would ever leave his mouth. 

Slightly in shock, staring at him with bewilderment, you stammer, “w–what?”

“Two months ago, Jadah and I filed for divorce. It was uncontested, and the state of Florida is one of the quickest when it comes to processing these things.” His other hand moves to your hip, holding you still, as if he knows you want to move away from him. “I got notice it was finalized a few days ago.”

You’re listening, you really are, but hearing is another story. This has to be some type of sick joke, some type of cruel prank ripped directly out the pages of a journal kept and maintained so long ago. Cause you’d absolutely written about this at one point, written about what it would be like if he were to leave his wife. 

You just never could have anticipated it would one day become a reality.

“I—I don’t understand.” Joe only found out about Callie less than a month ago, so there’s no way she was the reason for the split. Still, you have to ask. “Wh–why?”

Something flashes in his eyes. Hurt. “It was long overdue.” He doesn’t say anything beyond that, and while you expected more, you can also see there’s more to the story. More that he’s not saying, but it’s the brief glimpse of pain that prevents you from pushing. Whatever it is, it’s clearly difficult for him to discuss. 

“Oh.” It’s a stupid thing to say, but you’re truly in a state of shock and don’t know what else to say. 

The biggest and only issue that ever existed between yourself and Joe has always been his marriage, the fact that he was already taken. It was the only reason you ever broke it off with him, but now, he’s standing before you, telling you that this is no longer the case.

You’re all of the emotions: confused, nervous, happy, hopeful, and so many more that you can’t even label.

“I didn’t say anything at first, because meeting Callie was my priority. Establishing a relationship with her was a priority. And it still is, but…..” Your eyes shut as he drops his head in the crook of your neck. “I’ve missed you.” Your hands gradually lift to lay against his chest as he sighs into you, ‘I’ve missed everything about you.” Eyes remaining shut, your nails claw gently against him as he moves his mouth over your neck. “The way you smile, the way you laugh.” His hand on your back slowly inches downward. “The way you taste.” Your breath catches as his teeth graze your collarbone. “The way you feel when I’m inside you.”

“Joe,” you breathe, the air suddenly thick, your throat tight. Breathing is incredibly arduous in this moment. “I—”

“Mommy! Joe!”

Joe’s suddenly across the damn room, it seems like, as Callie enters at both the perfect and worst time with a smile, completely oblivious to what she’s just interrupted. “Grandma said come eat!”

Frowning, you glance at the clock and realize it’s most definitely dinner time and that your mom had most likely just had Callie help her prepare the meal instead of asking you two to help.

Huh.

She moves across the room, tackling Joe from the side and craning up her head as she excitedly asks, “Wanna see what I made? Grandma helped me!”

Leaning down to pick her up, he answers, “of course, I wanna see.” He begins to walk out the door as Callie calls out for you to follow behind.

And you will. 

You just need a moment.

Because what the hell just happened?

—-------

I’m divorced.

It keeps playing in your head, on a vicious repeating cycle, like that annoying song the radio plays every 15 minutes, forcing it down your throat.

For almost the entire time you were together, you infrequently allowed yourself to dream about what your life would be like if the circumstances were different, if he wasn’t already taken. If he wasn’t already married. And each time only left you feeling worse than before, because it was stupid. You were three years deep into the situationship; if he hadn’t left his wife by then, he wasn’t leaving her period.

It was a harsh pill that took you forever to swallow.

And even then, you knew that you could never be happy. Not with the knowledge that he’d left his wife for you. It may be bliss initially, but the guilt would have eaten you up and ruined things regardless.

So accepting and telling yourself that it would never work out long-term was what kept your head above water, especially in the two months after you broke things off. And once you learned you were pregnant with Callie, there was a new kind of stress, a new kind of distraction.

Not that it made you forget about him. Hardly.

Every check up, every milestone, every kick, your mind would wander to him. Wander to a fantasy world where you imagined he was with you every step of the way, the two of you preparing together for the arrival of your first child.

Even as the years went on and Callie got older, you still would find yourself from time to time imagining how different things would be if he was around.

Well, now he is. He’s not only around, but he’s going to be actively involved in Callie’s life for the rest of her life.

And he’s now single.

All of this makes for one fucked up emotional rollercoaster ride.

Dinner is an experience, only for you, maybe Joe to some extent. He’s always had a tendency to compartmentalize emotions though, unlike yourself. Granted, if it was a struggle for him, he did a damn good job not showing it. It also probably helped a ton that Callie talked a hole in his and your mom’s head.

You knew your mom could see something was up with you but graciously opted to not ask you any questions. You wouldn’t have any answers to give her anyway. 

And you indicated as much when you were back at your apartment, and Callie in her room gathering her favorite pajamas for bed. 

“I just need time to think.” 

It’s all you can offer him, because it’s the truth. There’s so much more to consider than you could have imagined, and it’s really hard to contemplate when you still have Mariah’s voice oscillating in the back of your mind, your insecurities, and even your mom. 

So many differing perspectives, it’s hard to focus and hear your own.

Thankfully, he accepts that answer, and you accept that you’re running out of different ways to escape confronting your own emotions. 

Maybe.

Because this day has already been exceedingly long, and you’re more emotionally exhausted than anything. So when Callie comes to you complaining of a tummy ache, you administer her Children’s Tylenol, lay with her until she falls asleep, and take advantage of this rare opportunity to turn your brain off and just rest.

The hard shit could wait.

—-------

“Mommy!”

There's a certain tone every person has that's reserved for emergencies, saved for moments when something is wrong. Very, very wrong.

This is one of those moments.

You nearly trip with how quickly you jump out the bed and sprint down the hall to Callie’s room. Hitting the light switch, your stomach drops when you see her.

On her side, in a fetal position, crying profusely. 

Rushing over to her, you see too that she's pale and a hand to her forehead reveals she's burning up. Sheer panic climbs up your body, settling into your stomach and the back of your throat. Still, you do your best to not show her your fear.

“Baby, is it your tummy?” You take a hand to feel her stomach, but she screams out in pain, making you jump from her reaction.

“Mommy, it hurts,” she sobs, and you're instantly moving the blankets off her, already knowing what you need to do. 

Hand on her forehead, you assure, “I’lll be right back, okay?”

You rush back into your room, sliding on the first pair of shoes that you come across. You grab your phone off the nightstand and throw it in your purse, all in under a minute, still too long. And as soon as you're back in her room, you waste no time in lifting her into your arms. 

She winces, so you reassure, “come on, baby. It's okay, you're gonna be okay.”

It's what you're telling yourself, the only thing keeping you from panicking. Unsure and uncaring at this moment if you lock the front door behind you, you carry her down the steps and into the dark of night, carefully but quickly buckling her into her carseat.

Hating to see her continue to cry, to be in pain, you kiss her forehead, “I’m gonna get you some help, okay? We're going to the hospital.”

She can only nod, and your eyes water. Your forever talkative child is rendered speechless by her pain. It crushes you.

Hopping into the driver's seat, you grab your phone, trembling fingers locating the address of the hospital. You hit share and send it to Joe before pressing the call button and tossing your phone into the passenger seat to zoom out of the parking lot.

Your phone is connected to your vehicle, ringing three times before he picks up, voice heavy with sleep. “Hey.”

“I need you to meet me at the hospital. I already sent you the address.” You do your best to remain calm and collected, to not scare Callie more than she's already scared. Even if you’re fucking terrified. “Something is wrong with Calista.”

[olderthannetfic]

Sorry to ask this. I was going through a blog when I saw a callout post. I checked it out of curiosity. One of the things that was pointed out was : "when they were 31, they had sex with a 18 year old -they are a teenager!- and it's predatory! I (the writer of the callout) am 21 years old and even I don't have sex with 18 year olds because they are very young and it's very predatory!"

So, idk how to feel about that? Especially as someone who has never been in a relationship. I'm 20 years old, soon I'll be 21. Looking at myself at 18 and the future 21, I really didn't change that much? Physically or mentally. Yeah 18 is young but so is 21?? I don't think it's predatory, am I wrong?/serious question

And for the first part, yeah a 31 year old being with a 18 is weird for me, but aren't they both adults? They also said it's because 18 year olds lack experience, which can be true but that's assuming they have never been in a relationship before(with people their own age or similar). So, it can be weird but predatory? Is it?/serious question

I'm sorry if the questions are upsetting &/or weird but I really don't have anyone else to ask- parents are out of question, they literally think you should teach people about sex right before marriage- and I don't trust most online spaces. There's also zero books about such things in my country because "protect the children!!". So now we have an adult(me) who was raised to never ask question about these things and now is confused as hell. Hmm.....

--

It's all hogwash.

On average, I would assume that a 31-year-old having sex with an 18-year-old is a bit of a creep. However, it would depend entirely on the circumstances. Is this 18-year-old a naive high school student? Or are they someone who's been working a job for several years? Maybe the older person is their coworker whom they got to know.

A 21-year-old and an 18-year-old can be weird in the US if they only just met and one is a high school student while the other is a university student. But what if they met in some very different context where they're more in the same stage of life? Sure, I side-eye upperclassmen who start dating freshmen the first week of their freshman year, but what about later on in the year? What if both of these people aren't students at all and are, again, working a job together?

"You're mature for your age" is a line that creepers feed to younger people, but it can also be true. Some people just get along better with older partners.

We shouldn't be too draconian about any specific rule. You can only judge by the real circumstances of a specific set of people.

Predators are defined by their behavior, not ticky-box demographics. There is no absolute that lets you detect them and protect yourself. People wish there were because they would feel safer. That's what this kind of post is about.

[dann-art]

I know that vampire chronicles aren't meant to be historical accurate. Like you read this and you know that all this events can happen in literally any time and space. Like really. The times doesn't really matter there, there are no nuances.

Listen, I'm not a historian, by any means. It's just like a hobby, but I have millions of them so I don't even learn that much.

Also I usually don't give a shit about accuracy in media, like whatever, until it's science do what you want, whatever suits your story

But sometimes it's time to say enough is enough.

So, we need to talk about Armands origin in Kievan Rus'. Okay, that's cool, we don't really explore it, but well whatever, at least we're not messing this up, right? Right?

While I was reading I ignored it. I was reading TVA in polish translation I thought like okay, names and nuances probably got lost in translation. It's a really bad translation tho.

But out of curiosity today I opened the book in English, because this was sticking in my head.

And it appears it wasn't translators fault.

So well, it's like kinda huge mistake. Like no one really checked it? But this book constantly claims that like Kievan Rus' was then in Russia. And suprise, suprise: that's simply not true. Well the term is kinda not right and can mean anything, like back it existed as state it was huge, but (judging on the mention of Kiev itself) that it was like somewhere in that area.

So I'll spare whole history, it's not relevant. We're stop around 1480's, when Armand was born (based on my calculations). And in that time the region was called Kiev Voivodeship (hope I got it right in english), and it was part of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, and stayed there until 1569, when it passed to the Crown of the Kingdom of Poland (when the Polish-lithuanian commonwealth was created, but both countries were in union since early XV century)

So in the book we have some lines like this

Armand, bestie, I don't know how to break it to you, you're not russian. You never were. You've never lived in Russia (or back then I would use rather the name Moscow, but again I'm not a historian). More of a Ukrainian if so, but also not the world I would use. Most accurate would be rusyn (I think, or ruthenian???? I'm not sure how it works in English, anyway not russian).

Then we have this, and well... Oh boy. Something went really wrong with geography here. First of all, you've never been to Russia (or better say Principality of Moscow, like it wasn't even called Russia, from what I know, but i might be wrong).

So okay, Moscow and Novgorod were in part of Moscow indeed but Cracow!?!?!?? (Known also as my absolutely favourite city in the world). Like Cracow like Never ever has been a part of Russia. Okay, I get confusion with Kiev if you really really don't care about basic research. But Cracow???

Here's the map. Unfortunately it like administrative of Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth in 1619, but well you'll see my point. That doesn't make any sense

Cracow always was polish. Like it's our second capital. And look how far from Russia it is. Even during the partitions it goes to Austria not Russia.

Last thing I want to point out is this one

Like, man, maybe you speak russian, I do not doubt, like during travel to Moscow you could learn I guess.

I'm not entirely sure, but I guess the language there is ruthenian not russian. Like ruthenian is old language which is base for slavic languages such as Belarusian or Ukrainian. And what is also important it was not the language used in the Principality of Moscow, so it's definitely not russian.

Okay, thanks for reading if anyone is still there. I won't bore you any longer. It just was sitting in my head and I had to throw it out because we'll, basic research I guess.

[janesgms]

Astro Notes - 05

– Introduction –

[✨️] In this post I wanted to talk about my SR placements for this year and my experiences with them, and then in the next post I'm gonna try to predict my next year experiences basing them on my 2024 solar return chart and come back here next year to tell you guys what i got wrong and what i got right 😀 (is this a stupid idea?¿ idk). Btw, i've made it writing it in a way that makes you indentify with it in case you have the placement!

CAPRICORN ASC ♡ You're gonna show yourself this year like a more serious and mature person, you may focus on dressing more classy or just having more polites and elegant manners. You'll focus your appearance on aging better and even trying to look an age different from yours, in my case I think I wanna look younger lol. Your energy may be more grounded and even dense this year. You might look like you're always serious or deep in thought this year. Which is true because a friend told me that I look like I always want to punch someone when I was just with a normal face? Haahah and I never heard that bc I've also had a more calm vibe to my appearance lol.

14° DEGREE ASC/MC ♡ With the taurus degree on the ascendant and midheaven you may focus your appearance on venusian themes like makeup products, skin care, clothes!!!, accessories, anything that makes you feel prettier eith yourself. since the MC is in it too, people might compliment a lot on your physical appearance that year (or judge you too -_-)

LIBRA MC ♡ The SR MC reinforces how people are gonna perceive you that year and your reputation direction. With the libra MC, you might look like a person who focus a lot on appearance and love, even looking vain to some, you might appear to be someone who's constantly focusing on looking beautiful and being loved that year. It may be a year which your love life and personal cares with your appearance is gonna be very visible to others 😨 to my sadness, so it may indicate that you receive unwanted "advices" or judgements regarding these topics.

12H SUN ♡ you'll focus a lot on your subconscious mind that year. you'll focus on spritualism, the general occult. everything that's been hidden within yourself is gonna come out from yourself like an avalanche. this can also indicate your hidden enemies will be shown to you. you'll tend to isolate yourself more because of this or just because you feel like you're gonna be better this way.

AQUARIUS MOON ♡ your emotions will be focused and based more on your friends, who you want to get closer with, social settings (maybe parties), and things unconventional for you, or just new and exciting experiences, you'll see things in a new vision. think of your past years and habits and remember if this year you've started craiving or thinking on something unusual for you. You'll also focus on being more original and not following much the others, feeling like "I know my own worth and values and I'm not gonna change it easily for anyone". You might feel like you don't need to fit in anymore, like you're happy with your uniqueness. Also, idk if it's a coincidence but this year I got closer to someone who's an aquarius moon and this person taught me some really important lessons to me.

2H MOON ♡ you'll focus your emotions on physical sensations, your face, your food relationship, your physical posessions... this can make you crave financial comfort, luxury, relaxation, sensual intimacy maybe? you'll feel like you're more materialistic than in other years. this is so true, I was never someone to focus much in matters like money and posessions but this year I felt more inclined in wanting a better financial life, wanting more financial comfort, etc (I'm not proud of it lol), also a lot on my physical face - the 2H is also about it.

CAPRICORN MERCURY ♡ you'll focus your communication style on being more direct, solid and someone who imposes respect. you might also talk about financial matters lol. you'll also talk a lot about your future profession, your future ambitions, your mental security, your workplace (be it school, job etc). you'll want to talk about more mature themes. I feel like it specially because this is my last year in high school so all the "focus" and expectations are in how my professional career is gonna start when i finish it and what college I'm gonna attend too, so I tend to talk a lot about these topics specially this year. For ex: I have lost counts on how many times people asked me which job I want to do this year.

1H MERCURY ♡ means you'll focus on finding your true voice that year. you'll focus on being honest with yourself and be more direct in your conversations. you'll focus on imposing limits with communication. i feel like this year i'm being more direct in my thoughts and I don't let people have their way with me and keep quiet so this is great for a personal development.

SCORPIO VENUS ♡ I still have hopes this placement indicates that you're gonna pass through the humilliation first (check ✅️) and then through the new vibes of your love life with a fairytale boyfriend (waiting?... ❌️ not check). But being more serious, the scorpio venus in here tells that your love life is gonna be intense for you that year. You may go through a break up that year if you're dating or a new relationship if ur single (there's still hope for us single ladies), since scorpio is all about transformations and rebirths. You might feel like you're more posessive and jealous in your relationships (friendships, affairs, etc) than in other years. You might go through an acquaintence with someone that'll make you suffer like hell but will make you stronger in the end. Your relationships this year can be secretive or just mysteryous in general, but summing up, very transformative. This can also be an indicator of letting go of toxic friendships or affairs so if you lost someone this year and ur still suffering stop if girl, cause this person went away for your well being and not for your worst.

11H VENUS ♡ (Guys as I'm writing this I'm so tired and sleepy so forgive me any typo but I'll keep going bc if I bury this post in my drafts and say "I'll continue later", than I'll never end this post like the others in my drafts so I'm gonna keep writing it with the appearance of a corpse but let's go) I'm almost 101% sure this aspect is the friendzone one guys, and probably you're the one who's gonna be friendzoned or already was. Sadly but it happens. So... according to the universe laws, this indicates that you're not gonna focus on romantic relationships and more on friendships but this wasn't the case for me, maybe it was because it's in scorpio. Furthermore, I think this indicates that my love life this year influenciated a lot on my social circle, or badically that it made me isolate myself because of my romantic life and fuck up my social life/"friends". It also affected my only real friendship, where it became really exhausting to me bc of it.

SAGITTARIUS MARS ♡ you'll focus a lot of your energy in things that make you feel like you're free, truly happy and actively stimulated. you'll probably focus your energy and passion in: going to parties, learning about philosophic matters, learning about the higher meaning, the truth about the universe, being more independent, wanting to live somewhere else, wanting to travel a lot or just knowing more about other cultures, living alone or at least far from your parents to feel like you're free, learning new languages, etc. On another note, you may focus on being more physical active and doing exercises. This mars can also indicate having a more disperse energy which changes direction easily. I relate to that and I'm really experiencing all of that and more in the future I hope!

12H MARS ♡ you'll put a lot of your energy in the matters said in the 1st note (12H sun). probably you're gonna get closer to hobbies like: subliminals, law of attraction, meditation, tarot, astrology, psychology, sel reflection, the supernatural, past lives, connections to other dimensions, getting high and/or drunk (👀), having constant connections with water (like rivers, lakes, beaches), things that you do alone like reading, listening to music, etc. In a more realistic side, you'll focus your energy and passion on changing yourself in a transcendental way, it's like the 8th house but in a more mental way, which also influentiates on your physical manners obviously. this is so nice in my opinion, it's been such a nice year in this sense to me, i'm gonna enjoy the rest of this year to the max because these hobbies were the best thing that happened to me this year.

12H CERES ♡ this is getting repetitive but wtv, you're gonna develop a soft spot (if you don't already have one) or just create a very nurturing attachment to the 12H matters (things said in the 2 notes above), so you'll feel like you're at peace when you're focusing on these things. and this is true for me! as i said before, when i focus on these things, I feel at ease and healed.

– End notes –

[🩷] So guys, it was it for today. Maybe later I'll edit it and add the other planets house plafements but for now I'm gonna rest bc I'm literally dead and my hands are gonna fall, so byee! See ya and good night <3

[slackerlifewhere]

random thought #5: clothes

I only noticed this after remembering what he went through as Kim Rok Soo but I think Cale actually likes or prefers to wear dark-colored clothes. That, or there's another reason why he wears them.

It's not as obvious in the manhwa because the artist probably wants him to have bright colored clothes (fair) but it's been mentioned a few times in the beginning of the novel.

Cale, who used to enjoy wearing fancy clothes and showing off until just two years ago, was suddenly only wearing dark clothes, and had a completely different demeanor about him.

Chapter 43: Somehow

I'm not completely sure if he likes the color (shade?) but I remembered seeing Kim Rok Soo wearing them behind Cale Henituse in a cover.

[SPOILERS for the first part of TCF👇]

Dark clothes could mean a person wants to look cool and stylish or it could mean a person is boring. And in some ways, the person wearing black is grieving.

I looked it up because I wasn't too sure (and I don't want to offend anyone) but Koreans apparently wear black clothes at funerals.

And knowing his past, it could be that he never stopped grieving even as Cale Henituse.

Like I've mentioned before, and what most readers know about him after reading the novel, there are a lot of funerals back in Korea and he attended some of them.

People die everyday in his world and some of them don't have anyone to grieve for them. It's why he's the one who showed up in Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo's funeral.

One of the things that changed the most was the funeral tradition. The reason was simple.

Too many people had died.

And even more continued to die every day and will die in the future.

- Chapter 719

Him constantly grieving for those he lost could appear in what he's wearing.

Yes, there are moments when he wears them to look intimidating in front of the nobles or his enemies but there was this one scene after the Plaza Terror Incident when he actually wears dark clothes, albeit more luxurious.

“It is a beautiful day today. Probably because we are here to respect the fallen.”

Cale’s red hair fluttered in the wind and created a stark comparison to his black outfit.

- Chapter 48: Somehow

It's a sad thing to think about if this is actually the reason why he wears them.

Another preference that was briefly mentioned before is him liking simple clothes. It could mean several things for him.

Simple clothes could mean he's lazy (which is debatable but probably true). Simple clothes could mean he's a guy with simple tastes (also debatable). Simple clothes could mean he was poor or doesn't have the more luxurious type of clothes. Or simple clothes could mean he's used to wearing them in a world where the apocalypse is real and he needs to move comfortably to survive.

I'm thinking he's so used to getting too injured, he never allows himself to wear something different. Like if you're gonna get cuts all over your body after using an ability, I doubt you'll bother wearing something nice.

It's intriguing how a simple mention of his clothes can mean several things.

I really didn't consider the possibility of something more by judging what he wears.

From his words, to his actions, and even to his clothes, you can make different opinions and theories about him and that's why I'm having so much fun reading this novel.

[layraket]

"Huh?"

"I said," Legend kept a firm tone "that you should consider the option of a full-rested night"

Four understood why was he saying this, he didn't woke up the veteran last night to his shift and decided to stay more late than he should've.

In my defense, Vio tried to justify himself. that book was interesting.

"Maybe, thanks for your suggestion" He turned back to reading his book, it was too early for getting scolded by their veteran.

"It wasn't a suggestion" That firm tone didn't leave, this time stronger "This is already the fifth time! And don't act like you don't get affected by this, I've noticed how clumsly you're getting each fight we get into"

He has a point, at this rate we will really get injuried. Green was considering Legend's words.

Sure, if they took other's shifts the rest of them will be having more rest, even if it means that they will be getting more and more wore off.

"If Rulie finds out that you got yourself injured just because you decided that sleeping is for the weak, may Farore protect your soul" Legend didn't say anything else and walked away, letting the cup that he brought to Four next to them.

They grabbed it and took a sip. Oh, its chamomile tea! and with honey! That was a sweet gesture from the pink-haired hero.

He could've brought coffee, its so much better if he wants us to not be all tired during fights. Blue showed aside the warm color, not too happy with their drink.

That's true, but right now? Some tea wouldn't do harm It was a little late and camp was already set up, there will not be any problem if they just fell asleep.

Aw, but I wanted to finish that book. We can read it tomorrow! I also want to see the ending. I bet the traitor is the hunter, he seems really suspicious. 50 rupees that it is the sorcerer. Deal!. Stop doing bets with our money!. Its the musician one!. RED-

---

Wild thought that some tea would help them to relax from their last fight, a horde like that could easily take all energy from any warrior. But it wasn't the main reason that he decided to use his chamomile reserve.

Legend came to him some hours ago to talk about something, he thought that it was about something from the fight, sure he was getting too much with the throwing-almost-broken-weapons thing, but it worked!

"Listen," The vet hushed, coming closer to the champion "I'm not sure if you already noticed, but haven't you seen Four acting a little off?"

Oh, so this was about their smithy.

"Uhm, no? I mean, he's been a little more..." How was it called?

"Clumsy? Distracted? Tired-looking?" Legend gave some options.

"Tired-looking, yeah" It is more often that he finds their smallest hero nodding off while traveling. "Why the question?"

He knew Legend, he could come as cold and a little harsh, but if he was asking this it must be for a reason.

"I know why, he has been taking longer shifts more and more frequently. I want you to help me to get him rest today, the whole night without interruptions" He kept the tone down, trying to not catch anyone's attention.

So, helping the smith to sleep? An easy task, he can do some tea and it will be it.

When the camp was set he started working, putting the water to boil and preparing the chamomile that he got from Twilight's era. After half an hour he went to give each one of the chain a cup, some with extra honey and others without nothing to make it sweeter. It was weird, drinking almost plain water, but he will not judge.

For Four he prepared a cup with some extra things; some mint leafs, a little bit of linden and, of course, sweet honey that Legend gave him specifically for the smithy's cup.

He send the veteran to deliver the special cup, and then went to work on their dinner.

Broth will make their stomachs warm, they skipped lunch and something with a lot of nutriens will do well for them. When Wild went to give the last bowl of dinner he found the results of Legend's plan.

Four was calmly sleeping, resting his back on the tree that he was sitting next earlier, with an open book and his bag slighly open next to him.

It would be mean to wake him up, so he left the bowl next to the smithy with a cloth covering it to keep it warm and free of bugs, made sure that his bag was closed (Wind will take any opportunity to stick his nose in anyone's bag) and covered him with a blanked.

Wild went back with the rest of the Chain to talk and finish his own portion. The only thing that was haunting his mind now was the musician being the traitor, but he didn't know who was the one that he betrayed. He needs to ask Four to let him borrow a copy of that book tomorrow.

[mxlissaliss]

hihi! this is one of my first times submitting an ask😓

for RoR, could you do a Honkai Impact 3rd Elysia reader? Like, loves humanity, friendly, sweet, flirty, etcetc. Also rather mysterious and keeps to herself at times! If you could include Buddha and/or Anubis it would be great! 🫶

thank youu<3

Omg hiiiii, this is the first time someone has sent me an ask so I'm feeling quite flattered, haha. I don't know much about Honkai (though I kinda wanna get into it) so I appreciate the descriptions a lot! I still looked up the character and she's so pretty lawd, I definitely had to mention her appearance 😭😭

Hope you like it, heh (I'm gonna call you “🌸~Anon” from now on, if you ever submit an ask again)

RoR x Elysia!reader

- There were many things about you that made you stand out wherever you went: your long, silky, pink hair that never seemed to be tangled, your cape that flowed so gracefully with every step, and your light blue eyes that looked so full of life and fun.

- That, and the fact that you seemed to come from an entirely different universe, honestly.

- Aside from your physical appearance, your constant displays of love towards humanity caught the attention of the Gods around you.

- The way you were always so gentle and nice with the mortals while still being elegant and dainty made you quite the catch instantly. Even though only a few knew about your origins — mainly because of your mysterious nature —, you always presented yourself as kind and cheerful. Not to mention that you rarely ever spoke badly about anyone.

- Many like Kojiro, Adam and Jack enjoyed your company a lot. Even though they could easily defend themselves against anything, your protective nature, teamed up with your strength, wit and conveniently social nature turned you into their chosen protector.

- However, you were a being so different from them that you soon became Nikola Tesla's favorite person (subject). He could never get any kind of personal information out of you, other than the basics, but he did not mind, so long as he could get any info about the Meta-Morph Activators and surgery that you once mentioned. How interesting.

- Qin Shi Huang and Raiden loved to play-flirt with you, because you would always return the compliments despite the lightheartedness in your tone. And so on with the rest.

- Your relationship with the humans was one full of love, respect and care. You loved the mortals you now sought to care for, and it was a mutual feeling.

- Now… Judging from a fair distance your treatment toward the humans, Buddha was the first god to approach you without seemingly suspicious intentions. He shared a lot of your love regarding the mortals you had come to become friends with, which made you two quite close rather quickly.

- One thing that picked his interest was the difference between the Valkyries you knew and the ones he and the Einherjar knew. So, you guys did not have a Brunnhilde? Crazy.

- He loved to hear everything about your stories, activity that often led you to try and dodge a few personal questions in order to keep your own secrets hidden.

- You never mentioned anything too personal or close to home, and while you feared that it'd push him away, Buddha could not care less about it, so long as your true self remained this sweet, kind and cheerful girl that he adored.

- Speaking of gods, it was one night when you were making your way back home, after a particularly long day with the Einherjar, that you caught a certain pair of very intense eyes staring at you from behind a tree.

- At first, you didn’t mind much since whoever was “hiding” remained in their spot, but as soon as you started to walk away, this stranger lunged from his rabbit hole and made his way to you in a frighteningly fast manner.

- Much to your surprise, it was Anubis from the Egyptian Pantheon. You knew about him, as he was quite the character, apparently.

- Nevertheless, you did not expect this guy to be so… Sweet! He was so curious about everything concerning you. Sometimes it felt like he had way too much more energy than what you could bear, but it was easy to warm up to him.

- Similar to your relationship with Buddha, most of the private facts came from the Egyptian God of the Afterlife and Funerary Rituals himself, as you were quite reserved and chose not to open up that much. But he was just so easy to get close to, it honestly made you feel comfortable without creating any barriers or distance regarding the lack of mutual oversharing.

- Though, it was almost impossible to avoid his questions at times…

“Why are your ears so pointy?” Anubis asked with sparkling eyes, making ungodly efforts not to touch your ears as his nail tapped against the gem on your hair clip.

- You simply laughed, pointing at them before saying that it would be a story for another day. You were not going to explain the entire MANTIS ordeal just yet. Perhaps you would never mention it at all. Still, there were some loose concepts every so often that entertained him enough.

- Moth Fire? The Thirteen Flame-Chasers? He could barely connect the dots but gladly sat down for hours on end to keep asking stuff about your past. It made you happy.

- In the end, you became friends with most of the pantheons and mortals easily without revealing much about yourself. There was this unexplainable charm about you that drew them all to you like a moth to a flame, but as long as they respected you and your boundaries, you'd shower them with gentle affections and kindness, as well as protection.

- Except for those gods out there that clearly held some contempt against humanity. May those around help any deity that dared to disrespect a human in your presence.

[theundercoversquid]

A Conversation on Children

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x F!Reader

Request: Hey there my fav squid ever :) I've been reading a lot of baby imagines everywhere and tbh I'm having trouble getting into them since I've decided that I do not want to be a mom (not judging anyone tho).

Would you please write something like the reader talking to Pierre about not wanting to have kids and them having a really meaningful conversation about it?? it would mean the absolute world to me <3

A/N: For a start I am so, so sorry this took so long for me to get around to writing! But better late than never, I hope...

Also, I totally get not wanting to have children. Not everyone wants them, and that is perfectly okay (I still don't know if I would want to have kids, hence why the series is nicely cathartic)

I just hope I have done the subject justice!

Warnings: Talk of children and not wanting children

Masterlist

Your hands were shaking uncontrollably as you gripped them in your lap. You stared at their trembling, unable to look at the man seated across from you.

"What is it you want to talk about, mon amour," Pierre questioned.

"It's that well," you started before trailing off and trying again." I just wanted to talk to you about." But again, you trailed off.

"What's going on, mon amour," Pierre questioned again. "You are really starting to scare me."

"Children," you suddenly blurted out, Causing Pierre to look at you funny. His head cocked to the side like a confused puppy. "I don't want to have children." You clarified. "I don't want to be a mum."

But once you had started to talk, you couldn't seem to stop yourself.

"I don't like the idea of having children and having to raise children. Especially not in the world we are currently living in. And no, this is not something I am willing to change my mind on. I don't want to have children. Not now. Not ever." You told Pierre. Still not looking at him in the face. "And I totally understand that if you want to have children that this relationship is not going to work out. But as much as I love you, I am not willing to stay with you if this is something that you don't agree with. If you want children, I am not going to hold you back from having them. But equally, you can't stay with me if you think that you will be able to convince me to have children."

"Oh, Merci Dieu." Pierre murmed under his bretah. Causing you to finally turn to look at him.

"Mon amour." Pierre softly called, holding his hand out for you. Gently inviting you to take his hand. When you did, he softly squeezed it. Giving you a reassuring look

"I don't want to have children either," Pierre admitted. "I have been worrying about when the best time was to tell you, and instead, you have stolen the words right out of my mouth."

Surprised you didn't quite know what to say.

"I know it may come as a surprise. But I truly don't want kids. Not just between my job and the state of the world. I agree with you, I don't want to have kids and I don't want to be a father."

"Really?" You questioned why you had seen Pierre with his nieces and nephews and were surprised to hear that.

"Really," Pierre nodded. "I love being the fun uncle, don't get me wrong. But I don't want to have to have my own kids. I think some people are built to be parents, and some are not, and that is okay."

"So the two of us aren't built to be parents?" You questioned.

"From what you have said, yes. The two of us are not meant to be parents, and that is okay. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean that you have to have kids. I will never, ever think less of you for it; if anything, I am relieved." Pierre admitted.

"Oh, you don't know how relieved I am." You sighed, relieved, causing your hands to stop shaking and for your shoulders to relax. "So many people have tried to tell me that I am wrong, that when I grow up and find the right man, I will want to have children. But I know that is not true. I have found the right man for me and still don't want to have children."

"I don't have the same expectations on me as you do," Pierre admitted. But just now, I am on the same page as you, and will never ask you or pressure you to have kids. As I don't want them just as much as you."

"Oh, I am so relieved", You breathed, letting out a breath before you lunged forward. Grabbing Pierre by the collar and pulling him in for a kiss.

When you let him go, Piere sat down with a dreamy sigh. "God, I love you," he murmured, causing you to laugh.

Translations:

Merci Dieu = Thank God

[vrmxlho]

hii kira !! do u have any hcs for sae abt how he would be as a bf?

SAE ITOSHI 糸師冴

if sae were a love trope he would 100% be belated love epiphany

"i never realised how much i loved them until they were gone." type beat yk

like pride and prejudice, except he's elizabeth and you're darcy ??

where you confess first and he rejects you but once you're not near him he realises that he really did love you

or when he saw how loaded you were, you be the judge (kidding)

y'all already know i think he's a good cook. like he was in spain for ages you bet he picked a few things up. cuz idk about spanish men but ik most italian men know how to cook and well.

he pours all his love into everything he makes, probably his love language honestly.

but he'd never let you know he's cooking for you because he cares

"you look like a ghost have you been eating properly?" "oh, no. unfortunately, i haven't found much time to cook lately..." "how bothersome. am i gonna have to take you all the way to the hospital when you faint from anemia?" "but i'm not even anemic..." "you will be if you don't eat your spinach." "..." "you know what. since you're so incapable i'll just cook for you." "excuse me??"

forgive him, he's just a bit of a cunt, but he loves you i promise

(also if you didn't know fun fact: preparing a homemade meal for someone is akin to confessing your feelings to them)

he's not much for PDA in fact in public he has his same, stupid, emotionless, deadpan face that is so punchable (affectionately?)

but when you're at home he'll find any excuse to lean his whole bodyweight on you

he also loves leaning in to kiss you and then reaching behind you to grab something or whatever, just to leave you flushed and stressed the fuck out

annoying asshole

he also gets very touchy when tired, if you're sleeping next to each other he tends to end up hugging you close to his heart by the time you wake up

he may not seem it but he would genuinely do anything for you

he tends to ignore most messages/texts/emails unless they're super important but he'd reply to you the second you text him

or even if it's a silly tweet

@you: there are 2 many ppl at this café 😞 @officialsaeitoshi: send me your location i got you your usual @you: ayo, how did you have it prepared n everything 😭 @officialsaeitoshi: spidey senses

he also has the most deadpan, sarcastic humour known to man

he's horrible (just my type)

nothing that comes out of his mouth is to be trusted

beware!!!

he is the no.1 gossiper alive, he knows everything about everyone's business even if he looks like the type of person who'd never think of anyone other than himself

somehow he's both at the same time

he could go hours talking about this random guy in his club who's actually the secret son of a drug lord and who ran away from home to save himself from imminent death...

what???? how does he know this?

i'm pretty sure he doesn't know either, anyway

he loves his lil self care night routines

you both sitting on the sofa talking about life (actually it's just him talking and you listening but whatever)

sae itoshi was an evening person. not because he felt most productive then. and not because he enjoyed the peace and quiet of the city. but because he enjoyed his night routines with you right next to him every second. you'd sit on the sink sill as he gently passed a finger with clay on it over your face as you kept talking about your day. "and then when i went to get coffee there were just so many people at the café it was such a hassle. this guy–" "shush. do you want clay in your mouth?" he kept swiping the remaining clay mask on your now stationary chin. once done he lifted you and walked to the sofa. this was no new routine. this was the only way he was able to unwind. with you next to him, just talking about the little, almost meaningless things. "i read somewhere that your coach is having an affair is that true?" you didn't know why you kept instigating him. it was late and you knew if he began talking now he'd only finish once the sun rose or your wake up alarm rang. but seeing him so animated was a rarity so you had to take advantage anytime you could.

now for how he confessed

at first when you confessed he rejected you and didn't think much of it at all

until he started noticing the little things about you, he started obsessing with every bit of you

how you looked, how you dress, how you style your hair

but also how your under eyes crease when you smile

how you're very picky with your food, especially dessert, but you'd eat anything if someone handmade it for you

how you're so patient when you tutor even if the person is being a dumbfuck

after obsessing over everything you did for about a day or two he was sick of the weird, nauseating feeling in his stomach

it had been about three days since the confession. being rejected right on the spot, especially in that cold manner was painful to say the least. but you were sure you had gotten over it. and you hoped with all your heart that he too had forgotten. he had just stood there as you finished telling him how he made you feel and how you had liked him for a while now. he had a horrible scowl on his face, arms crossed and an uninterested posture. you already knew what the answer was when you were done but it hurt so much more when he finally confirmed it all. so it was surprising when you saw sae march up to you as you ate your lunch with your friends. he had the same horrible scowl on his face from before. and you could feel your stomach drop as he pulled your wrist in a gruff manner. careless. he didn't care for you. "itoshi what are you–" he finally stopped once you were in a quiet corner behind the main building, away from curious eyes. "we need to talk." "about what?" "i couldn't sleep." "ok..?" "i couldn't stop thinking about you." "oh. i'm sorry if my confession made you uncomfortable. i didn't mean for it to bother you so much." "yes. it's so bothersome. now every time i see you with anyone but me, it hurts. i can't stand hearing about anyone but me, from you. i don't want you to think of anyone but me."

and then you were just like 😧🫣😏🤩

if you think rin's dramatic just WAIT until you talk to sae he's insane

THE BIGGEST drama queen (i hate him)

although i do think he is secure about himself and knows you wouldn't ever hurt him

i feel like he does have abandonment issues (a bit)

like imagine going through your teen years without family in a foreign country, you'd feel isolated no matter how many friends you made or how nice your host family was

he tries not giving any external reaction so you barely notice at first but every time he sees you with someone, looking a bit too friendly, he always feels his heart tighten

he's very gentle when kissing you

it's not like he's super strong or anything (mans is tiny)

and it's not that he's scared to hurt you, he just doesn't wanna appear too possessive or anything

favourite places to kiss you: why do i wanna say your waist, also knuckles

no idea why i just feel like if he weren't allowed to kiss your lips for any reason he would kiss there

but he definitely needed you to initiate the physical contact when you first started dating

speaking of which

dates with sae

100% movie nights, or just staying at home in general

mans hates going out if it's unnecessary

although, if you want anything he'd do it for you in an instant

or when he's feeling extra energetic

he'll take you dancing; this can either be ballroom dancing (which makes you cringe a bit but it's fun), salsa or literally just clubbing

i think he secretly loves clubbing at techno clubs (is that what they're called?) he hates commercial music cuz it just gets so repetitive

ideal vacation destination: somewhere isolated

like a random island in greece

or some forest in south america

idk man

he absolutely hates tourist destinations, tourists are his no.1 worst enemy

that's why you always end up going on holiday at random times of the year

"hey love, take a few days off next week. we're going to bora–bora." "it's the middle of march..." "not in bora–bora." "that's not how it works..." "i've already bought the tickets and spoken to your boss so you really just have to start packing."

now about pet names

he generally doesn't like them and thinks they're cringe and annoying

which they can be if used excessively ig

he tends to call you by a nickname or just your name

he only uses pet names when he wants something or has something to tell you that he knows you'll be angry/annoyed about

like the fact he planned a whole trip to bora–bora in middle of march and didn't tell you a thing 😞

however, if you're open about how much you hate him doing things without involving you he will change his ways

he's a quick learner after all ❤️‍🔥

[analogwriting]

The Walk-in

Killer x gn!reader (afab edition) word count: 4.2k amab vers. a/n: i got this idea from a revelation i had about how im pretty sure every walk-in in every restaurant ever has been boned in at least once. my source to site is me bc ive been working in the food industry since i was, like, 12.

“Oh my god, y/n, have you seen the new cook?” Your best friend, Wire, spoke up from behind the bar. He was currently wiping it down, preparing for the rush that would be starting soon. 

You were bussing tables when he spoke up, you paused, walking over to him and tossing the rag over your shoulder. “I haven't. Isn't he a friend of the owner’s son or something?”

“Yeah. Met him in college.”

“Ah. Friend hire.” You made a face, causing Wire to laugh. He knows how much you weren't a fan of people being hired just because they knew someone who worked there - especially when it came to the owner. “They never last.” You shook your head. 

“Oh, c'mon. I heard his cooking is great.”

You raised an eyebrow as you went back to wiping down tables. “Biased opinions, probably. Of course they're gonna say his cooking is great. But good cooking isn’t everything in this line or work. You and I both know that.”

Wire had a thoughtful look on his face as he nodded. “That's true.” There'd been plenty of instances where a good cook was hired, but they couldn't deal with the rush or crazy customers. None of them would last through the night. “He seems like he'll hold well.”

You snorted, standing up and folding your arms across your chest. “That's what you said about the last guy.” You rolled your eyes with a grin. The poor sap didn't last half an hour. 

“I was being optimistic?” You snorted and shook your head. “Oh sure. Optimistic.”

“I'm sure he'll become overwhelmed and leave within the hour.” That was your bet. You didn't usually expect much from newcomers, especially friend hires. 

“Wow, not even giving me a real shot, huh?” A deep voice came up from behind you. A shiver ran down your spine - not from fear, but from the sheer attractiveness his voice had. Oh shit.

You turned around and the air left your lungs as the most beautiful and sexy man stood behind you. You blinked, trying to find words to say but your brain wasn't fully caught up with the situation. Holy shit, this was the finest man you'd ever seen in your life. 

“You must be the head server with the high expectations then.” You opened your mouth to say something - only for nothing to come out. You glared over at Wire who held his hands up in surrender with a shit eating grin on his face. He knew that this man was exactly your type and chose to retain that information. 

A sly grin spread across the cook's face. “Cat got your tongue? Where'd all that barking go?” 

Your eyes widened, one of them twitching. Oh, he had a mouth on him too. It was on. 

Finally, your brain caught up. It'd felt like eternity, but it was only a few seconds. You folded your arms across your chest, an unimpressed look crossing your features. “I believe I am giving you a chance, just don't have high hopes. Can’t in this line of work - takes a special breed.” 

You looked him up and down. Fuck, he was fine as hell. “Anyway. They say you're a good cook. The customers will be the judge of that. That's not all, however. Where most people fumble is service itself. Always ends up being too much for people - too busy.” 

Then your brain circled back to what he had said earlier. “And of course I have high expectations. I only want what's best for this place and I don't need people wasting mine or my coworkers time.” 

The man before you just had an amused look on his face as he watched you. That irritated the shit out of you for reasons you couldn’t specify at the moment. “Don't worry, I won't be wasting anyone's time. I assure you, I won't be going anywhere either. You better get used to me now,” he crooned, leaning in as he spoke.

Your eyes narrowed at him. You wanted to punch him in his smug little face. “I've had plenty like you, too. Big talk. Think they'll last. Usually, they're the quickest to leave. Honestly, I’m being generous with an hour.” 

He chuckled, straightening back out. “We'll see when I'm still here after rush then, huh? If I stick it out, which I will, what do I get for winning the bet?”

The sheer audacity of this man. You stared at him, but didn't hesitate in your answer. “A job, duh.” You rolled your eyes. “I don't have time for this. I have a floor to prep.”

The cook laughed. It was one of the most beautiful sounds you ever heard. Damn, you must just be horny. It had been a while since you've gotten laid, but you also had a rule of never sleeping with your coworkers. You didn't knock others for doing it, you just didn't personally. You felt it made things complicated - though you were also an overthinker. Too many what ifs. What if it didn’t work out? What if you hated working together? What if you spent too much time together? What if, what if, what if?

“I'll see you after dinner rush then.” He winked at you and your heart almost stopped. Jesus fuck, you were down bad for a man you wanted to strangle. He walked off, leaving you standing there with Wire. You watched him leave, admiring his fat ass as he left before you turned back to your best friend.

He burst into laughter and you narrowed your eyes. “You're the worst, you know that?” That caused him to laugh harder. “Oh my god. I was just waiting for the moment for the part where you both just tear off each other's clothes and start going at each other right there, holy shit.”

Your face immediately warmed up. “Shut up, Wire. No one asked you.” You folded your arms across your chest with a frown. “You could've fucking warned me he was hotter ‘n hell.” 

Wire laughed again. “And miss the look on your face? That was priceless. I've never seen you be so taken aback before. The great y/n rendered speechless by the new cook.”

“Don't call him the new cook. He's gotta prove himself first.”

Another chuckle came from your best friend and he shook his head. You sighed, looking in the direction said man had left.

“What are you thinking about now?”

“How it's a shame he's not a baker with all that cake he's got. And how I wouldn't mind him icing mine.” Wire burst into laughter again and you just shook your head, clicking your tongue. “Too bad he won't last.”

Your attention shifted to the customers that walked in and you headed over to greet them. 

--

Rush was busier than usual. It was always insane, but it was even more so tonight. This was something you usually lived for, the chaos of the floor. It kept things interesting and helped time fly by. Slow nights drove you insane, which is why you were always scheduled the busiest nights too. Plus, you were insanely good at your job.

Being head server, your main job was just making sure that things were going out on time, keeping tabs on your servers, and taking care of any customer issues. You were technically a manager, yes, but you liked the title of head server better.

However, you could feel eyes on you all night. Yes, that's typically normal considering you're a server, but this was different. You also knew exactly who the culprit was. The new fucking cook. Every time you headed to the back or to the window, his eyes were on you. You'd glance at him, catching him red handed. 

Only, he didn't look away like most people. He kept his stare, only offering up a grin and the occasional wink as he cooked. Your body heated up every time, flustered that he was so casual.  Your mind was running wild with what you wanted him to do to you. You tried to keep yourself busy, but the growing heat across your whole body was making it hard. 

You tried to lie to yourself, saying it was because rush was busier than usual and you were running around even more. Every time you finally started calming down, he seemed to appear out of nowhere with his stupid smile, sending you into a spiral again. 

You could honestly punch him, that might just solve your problems. He was aggravating in every sense of the word. His cocky attitude was getting to you, making you even crabbier than you already had been. You were trying your best not to take it out on your fellow servers or the customers. It was fine for the most part. 

After rush, you asked another server to cover the one table you had left so you could take a minute. You immediately beelined it to the walk in. You flung the door open, unbuttoning your shirt a few times as you walked in. You closed your eyes, listening to the hum of the fans keeping it cool, and taking a deep breath as you fanned yourself with your hand.

Then the door opened, revealing the new guy. Someone mentioned his name was Killer. Funny. You wonder how he ended up with a stupid nickname like that. 

You glared at him as the smug smile spread across his face. Unfortunately, you knew he didn't end up leaving. His eyes being glued to you all night constantly reminded you that he had proven you wrong. He actually had done pretty well and the customers seemed to enjoy his cooking. He'd be sticking around as long as he wanted now - the job was his. Which also meant you had to deal with the fact that you were going to have to see him almost every day. 

“Guess you're stuck with me now, huh?”

“What are you even here for? Just to bother me?” You were in a foul mood and it was all his fault. You weren’t in the mood for his cocky attitude or ‘I told you so’ right now

“Well, I originally came back here to grab something but now I don't even remember what it was supposed to be now that you're in front of me looking like that.”

You looked down at yourself, confused. “What? Gonna make fun of me?” You were disheveled and hot, your skin flushed in some places. 

“No. You actually look really good like that.” A lazy smile appeared on his face as he folded his arms and leaned against the shelves. What the hell was he doing?

You could feel your body growing warmer despite the cooler air being blown at you. “The hell is your fucking angle? You've been staring all night and now you’re saying weird shit.” 

He blinked, raising his eyebrows. “And here I thought I was being obvious.” 

You stared at him for a moment as your head spun. What did- oh. Your eyes widened slightly and his grin grew. “Now you got it.”

Though, he didn't have much time to say anything else before you essentially pounced on him. You couldn't take it anymore, he'd been riling you up all night and you were at your wits end. And he was here, basically telling you to screw him. Actually, literally. 

You had walked over, grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and kissed him hard. He grinned into you, wrapping his arms around you. “Finally,” he mumbled. 

You shook your head. “Don't let your big mouth ruin it.” He just laughed before kissing you again, patting your ass. You took the hint, hopping up and wrapping your legs around him. He held you with ease, hands firmly on your ass as he pinned you to the shelves. He squeezed you hard, making a small whine escape your lips. 

Your own hands pressed against his chest before pausing. You felt something through his shirt. “Oh my god - are your nipples pierced?” You had never moved faster than you were right now as you undid his shirt. 

He blinked in confusion at your sudden shift of attention, disoriented and a little pouty that you pulled away like you did.

You opened his shirt and, lo and behold, piercings. Your eyebrow raised and a grin spread across your face. “Now, that's hot as hell,” you mused as you ran your hands across his broad chest and piercings, tugging at them a bit. You heard him inhale slightly but before you could play much further, you were set on the ground, lips attacking your neck. 

You felt his teeth graze your neck before lightly biting at you as a hand slipped past your waistband and you felt him begin to toy with you. Getting right to business. 

Immediately, you melted into him, your hands gripping his shirt as your breathing grew shallow and labored. You cursed under your breath, your legs spreading slightly to give him better access. You definitely didn't see yourself shagging this man so quickly, if at all, and especially in the walk in. Who the hell were you at this point?

Though, it wouldn't be the first time someone hooked up in here and it also wouldn't be the last. You just never thought it'd be you.

“Fuck,” you whined, feeling his fingers circle your clit before sliding down further and a single finger teasing your folds. He kissed you again, patting your thigh. Once again, you knew what he was asking, hiking up your leg and he held it as one of his thick fingers slipped inside of you. You gasped, moaning against him. Fuck, you hated how much you were loving this. The last thing he needed was an ego boost. 

But honestly, you were too horny to care. 

You were ripped out of what little thoughts you had when he slid in another finger, moving them around inside you. You moaned loudly, causing him to kiss you once more to keep you quiet. Sure, the walk in had the constant fan to keep things cool and it muffled noise, but it wasn't completely soundproof. 

Knowing your coworkers, if they noticed both of you gone, they more than likely put two and two together. Especially the longer you were gone. You were kind of surprised that no one checked the walk-in yet, they were typically nosey as hell. 

Your moans were growing louder and you rolled your hips against his hand, wanting more. “You're a noisy one, hm?” 

“Says the one who cant shut the fuck up,” you mumbled back, breathlessly. He just grinned, inserting another digit, causing you to shudder and moan again. He moved his fingers around, his thumb stimulating your clit as he did so. He was hitting all the right spots and it was driving you insane. 

“Keep your leg up,” he said as he let go before reaching that hand around you to untie your apron. He emptied it out and rolled it up all with one hand. You watched in confusion but as soon as you opened your mouth to ask what he was doing the cloth was shoved into your mouth. Your eyes widened in surprise.

“Since someone can't keep quiet, I'm not going to be able to focus on ruining you and keeping you quiet.” Your face turned red, your body heating up even more. You felt like you were on fire. This was the most embarrassing situation you've been in but holy shit did it turn you on. 

Before you had much time to react, his hand placed itself back holding your leg and his other hand began to move inside of you. His fingers moved fast and ruthlessly, his thumb assaulting your clit in the process. Your eyes widened at the sudden change of movement, moaning loudly. The apron muffled it, so maybe he'd been right. You don't know how to keep quiet. Shit, how was this man single? With hands like this? 

You felt a coil tightening deep within you, your hips rolling and grinding against him. You were moaning and whining. The apron was going to be soaked by the end of this endeavor.

Right before you reached your climax, he stopped moving before pulling his fingers out of you. You whined in protest, looking at him with desperation. You should've expected something like this at this point, but you were so lost in the sauce that you forgot who was currently fucking you right now.

He spun you around, pressing you into the shelves, and pulling your ass out. He gave you a firm smack, making you whine into the apron. Fuck, he was driving you insane. It's like he knew exactly what you liked. 

A shiver ran down your spine as he pulled your pants down, exposing you to the cold air of the walk in. It also didn't help that you were soaking wet either, making things even colder. You gripped onto the shelves before you, trying to keep yourself from shivering anymore. 

Soon, you felt his body heat close to you. Now a shiver of anticipation ran down your spine. You had felt him press against you earlier when you were making out. He had felt big and usually you'd end up on your knees, getting a nice jaw exercise before you ended up getting railed. However, Killer kind of just took the lead and took care of you. Which isn't something you were really used to. You were also used to usually ending up having to finish yourself off. 

But by the looks of things that wouldn't be the case this time. 

Killer pressed a kiss to your shoulder before leaning into your ear. You felt the heat of his body wash over you, the sudden temperature shift making you shiver. “If its too much, bang on the shelf twice.” You just raised an eyebrow at him. If only you didn't have this makeshift gag, you would've said something smart. 

“Don't worry,” he said. “I can read your comment in your eyes.” You just narrowed your eyes at him, making him grin - he was eating every moment of this up. You weren’t sure how you felt about him already knowing you so well.

Your glare didn’t last very long before you felt the fat head of his cock press against you. A sharp inhale went through your nose in surprise, not expecting him to be quite that large - he was about the same size as some of your bigger toys. Your eyes rolled back as he began to slide his way into you. You groaned, gripping onto the shelving as you stretched around him. You could feel him throbbing against you as your own walls throbbed trying to expand enough to fit him.

You took each inch of him like a champ, spreading your legs more and bending over to get him to fit all inside of you. He eventually bottomed out and you both were panting as he paused for a moment. You could tell he was holding himself back, which you appreciated. You’d rather not have anything tear. That was never a pleasant experience.

“Look at that,” he breathed. “You took in every inch of me. Good job, baby.” His voice was low as he spoke into your ear. You weren’t exactly sure about the petname, but fuck hearing the praise made your head swim. What was up with you? You were never this submissive. 

You moved, pressing into him slightly as you whined. You needed him to move. He just chuckled, but luckily took the hint.

He pulled out of you slowly, almost agonizingly slow. You knew he had to be messing with you. You glared at him over your shoulder and he just grinned back at you. You had half a mind to take the apron out and say something. You started to reach for it when he slammed back into you. Your eyes widened, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as they rolled back. A strangled scream erupted from your throat as you felt yourself climax suddenly. Pleasure ripped through your body, every inch of you shaking as you held onto the shelves for dear life. 

Your breathing was heavy, labored. You hadn’t been expecting that in the slightest. You thought he’d take it a little easier, but at the same time you’d never felt anything that good…probably ever.

“Too much?” You looked at him through your blurred vision, shaking your head. A smile appeared on his face, replacing the concern that had been there. “I knew you could take it,” he said. In that moment, you realized he was panting pretty heavily too. His skin glistened with sweat, hair sticking to his face. Fuck, he was one of the most beautiful men you’d ever seen in your life.

His hands gripped onto your hips and you knew you were about to have your shit absolutely rocked. You gripped the shelves, bracing yourself. As you predicted, he absolutely started to go to town. One way station to pound town, population: you. Or however the saying went. In moments, the sound of skin against skin mixed with grunts and moans was filling the walk in. You just silently prayed that the cooling system was loud enough to muffle the noise for the most part. 

You didn’t dwell on this too long as your mind was slipping further and further into the lusty abyss of pleasure. Your entire body felt like it was on fire despite the fans blowing right on the two of you. You wouldn’t have been surprised if you the cooler was going to end up being on the warmer side after all was said and done.

With the absolute ferocity he was drilling into you, you wouldn’t be surprised if you couldn’t walk or had some serious bruising tomorrow. You knew you’d have to push through it though because tomorrow was your double. Fuck, you really didn’t think this through. Hell, you didn’t think at all.

Again, your thoughts came and went, never sticking around for long and soon just nonexistent. Your eyes were practically glued to the back of your head as he used you. This was the railing of a lifetime. You’d already came once and you could feel yourself on the cusp of another. Killer was also about at his wits end too - his movements were growing more desperate and erratic.

You reached the edge first, feeling your body shudder once more as euphoria washed over you with your climax. You let out a muffled, long moan. His hips also stilled as he came hard as well. You were filled with warmth, feeling overly stuffed even more so before feeling some of it leaking down your leg. Damn, just how much did he unleash inside of you?

You were slumped against the shelving, trying to collect yourself. Your eyes were closed as you panted heavily, too weak to make any movement right now. Killer was panting too, placing soft kisses along your shoulders and neck while whispering soft praises that made your head spin a little more. 

After a few minutes, he reached over, pulling the soggy apron out of your mouth. “Holy shit,” you mumbled, coughing a bit. 

He slowly pulled out of you, making you whine slightly. You shivered as you were suddenly left empty, still too weak to move. He shoved himself back into his pants before helping you. He dressed you back up; pants on, apron around your waist. He stood you back up. “Are you alright?”

At this point, you weren’t sure - still on cloud nine. “I think I’ll be fine.” You stretched a bit, wincing slightly. “Tomorrow’s gonna suck though.” 

“I can cover for you.”

You looked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. “No offense, but I think you’d be a shit server.” 

He frowned. “And here I thought shagging you would take the attitude out of you.” 

You raised a brow, putting your hands on your hips. “Is that what you thought? Sorry, this isn’t something that comes from needing to be laid. I’m just always a bitch - personality trait.” You shrugged, retying your apron. You fixed yourself up before looking over at Killer. You snorted, buttoning his shirt back up.

“Looks like I’ll just have to try again.” A smug smile appeared on his face and you looked at him, a smile tugging on the corners of your own. “You can try as many times as you want, loverboy. It ain’t happening.” 

“I’ll ice that cake anytime.” Your eyes widened at his words and he laughed. “Yeah, I heard your little baker comment earlier. So you like my ass?” He winked, making your face turn red. “Fix your hair,” you mumbled. “Make it look less obvious we just boned.”

“Yes, boss.”

You rolled your eyes, flinging the walk-in door open to reveal several of your coworkers standing there. Wire grinned widely, a smug look on his face. “Everyone owes me twenty bucks.” There were collective groans. “No one knows our head server better than me, you should’ve known better than to bet against me.” He shook his head, holding his hand out as everyone forked over money. 

“But they literally never sleep with anyone that works here ever,” someone protested, pouting.

You knew right then and there - you were never going to hear the end of this.