#I'm not even thinking of any of those heartwarming scenes

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Y/N: "Ohana means family! And family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten!"

Kol: *sniffs* "That's sappy."

@her-violent-delights @witchcraftandgeekness

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#51: The Mr. & Mrs. Grimes (1.05)

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

The utter perfection of this scene continues as Rick's beautiful words are met with a beautiful response from Mrs. Grimes. 🥲

I adore that after both staying so loyally in love with each other, Michonne and Rick get to now look into each other's eyes and express that all these years, it was always only you 🥹...

One of the many reasons that Richonne resonates with me so much is because this TWD world could easily have been strictly bleak, dark, and dreary, and yet Richonne’s love bursts in with this bright light that refuses to dim no matter the state of their broken world.

Richonne is this inspiring reminder that love prevails even in the hardest circumstances. And Richonne's enduring love shines so brightly in this proposal scene.

So yeah, the happy dancing will never be out of my system over every second of this moment. 😇💍 Because one thing that always comes with the territory of being a Richonne fan...

As Rick holds up a ring while on one knee looking up at the love of his life, Michonne has such a precious heartfelt reaction to this. 🥰

I paused it for a sec and my extra self literally just had to stop and marvel for a moment that I’m really looking at a scene of Michonne smiling down at Rick as he holds up a ring. 🫠

After years of saying one of my biggest wants was for Richonne to exchange rings (because I really felt it was something those two characters would do), it just feels so rewarding to see that we finally made it here. When I tell you I was elated for them like it was my close family member getting proposed to lol. This joyous scene makes me so happy. 

gif cred: @nat111love

Michonne smiles at Rick, again with so much love in her expression. You can just see that she’s so happy to have her Rick back. All those years without him and now here he is alive, at his finest, and wanting to show her that he’s with her for the rest of his life. 😊

Michonne says, “I could have never imagined this.” And then she smiles and so sweetly says, “But it could only ever have been you.” Once again, PERFECTION. 🙌🏽🥲

gif cred: @nat111love

I'm loving the use of ‘only’ in this scene. Michonne and Rick both know they are the only one for each other. And it’s just so beyond heartwarming to hear Michonne know Rick is it for her. The only man she’d ever want to be her husband.

Pre-ZA, Michonne might have never been able to imagine that her soulmate would take form in Rick Grimes. Even when their paths first joined in season 3 she might have never expected that this man who constantly eyes her down would be the man she calls husband and the father of her children one day. But now there’s no denying that in any world Rick is the one for her. The ultimate soulmates. 🥰

gif cred: @nat111love

And Michonne has known this for so long. She's long been aware that she only ever wanted it to be Rick for her. I think about that beautiful 7.08 scene between Richonne in the cell where Michonne pours her heart out to Rick. There, she let him know he was the only one that she wanted by her side to take on everything in life with. And it's stayed that way for her all these years later. 🥲

I like to think that when Michonne expresses that it could only ever have been Rick who has her heart, she thinks back on their journey and reflects on the way Rick took her in at the prison instead of just taking the formula.

The way he entrusted her with his son time and time again, even very early in their relationship. The way she and Rick bonded over having similarities that most others wouldn’t understand.

The way she saw over and over that Rick will do anything for his family.

And that Rick will do anything for her.

The way Rick is a fighter who never gives up and also a lover who never holds back.

The way he resiliently overcame the battles in his life, both external and internal. The way he genuinely saw and valued both Michonne's heroism and her humanness. And as she’s said before - the way Rick makes her feel loved, respected, and safe like no other.

It could only ever have been this excellent one-of-a-kind man for her. Another scientific fact. 💯

So then, y'all, you already know what's next - Michonne does the most heartfelt thing ever. She smiles, takes Rick's hand, and then gets down on her knees so that they are on the same level. 😭

Then she puts Rick's hand to her heart and so sincerely tells him, “I’m Yours.” 🥹

gif cred: @nat111love

And go ahead and take me out to pasture because my heart has officially ascended from this solid gold scene. 🫠 I love it so much. 😭😭😭

I don't know whether to burst into tears or to happy dance right now, so imma just do both...

First; just the visual of the two on their knees is so perfectly symbolic to Richonne and the way they are equals in every way. They always meet each other where they’re at and match each other's love, energy, and fidelity.

I love that the moment with Rick on his knees gets its time to breathe and just depict the way he reveres her, and then Michonne gets to also show how much she loves and respects him when she joins him on her knees and lets Rick know that just like he’s hers, she’s his.

I adore the reciprocity of Richonne's love and loyalty. They’re so wholly devoted themselves and they finally get to experience someone being wholly devoted back.

And on top of elating me to no end, hearing them both say, “I’m Yours” also just affirmed to me why I think Richonne is such an excellent portrayal of a healthy couple. Because I think a lot of couples tend to have more of a “You’re mine” mentality that can be a bit more possessive and concerned with the other belonging to them.

But Rick and Michonne both put so much more emphasis on an “I’m Yours” mentality, actively being loyal, thoughtful, and dedicated to each other. They don't demand ‘You belong to me’ but rather happily demonstrate ‘I belong to you’ with every loving action and word they express. And that manifests as this equal outpouring of the deepest love. 👌🏽

gif cred: @perryabbott

And my favorite part about Rick and Michonne telling each other ‘I’m yours’ is how much they have already truly lived out those words.

Like this isn’t just flowery talk. Both when they were together in TWD and then when they were apart for over eight years, they genuinely lived out every day of their life like they were fully each others.

I remember that was one of the things I most noted about Michonne in the post-Rick era of TWD, she was still so actively in love with Rick. Like truly no other man could have come along because her love for Rick was still so alive.

I mean even when Ezekiel kissed her, all she wanted to do after was tearfully reminisce on the man she was still in love with and recount the exact amount of years it'd been since Rick last kissed her.

gif cred: @michonnegrimes

Michonne knew Rick Grimes still had her heart and even with all the years that passed and having every reason to think she’d never see him again, she lived life like she was still his.

So when Michonne tells Rick 'I’m yours,' she’s already lived that out and proven it ten times over.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

And when taken, Rick fought as hard as he could and put his mind and body through the unimaginable to get back to her and he never once moved on from Michonne, even when he chose to die.

He routinely dreamt of falling in love with her, continuously poured his heart out to her in letters, and commissioned several drawings of her. Then when he decided to 'die' because he refused to live without her, the dead version of him still made every choice out of his everlasting love for Michonne.

So when Rick tells Michonne Grimes, 'Til my last breath, I'm yours,' he’s already more than proven it in every way too.

They now know what it is to be without the other for an extended period and they still conducted themselves like 'I am 100% yours always.' 🥹 The greatest love.

Also, I love that this proposal moment takes place in the middle of the woods. So much of Richonne’s roots were established in settings like this. They’ve had a lot of notable woods moments, especially when traveling with Carl, and so this just feels like them taking it back to where it all started for this milestone moment.

One of the woods moments that comes to mind for me right now is in season 3 when Michonne is aiming her sword at Merle and Rick is constantly staring her down and keeping his attention almost solely on her despite so much commotion going on from everyone.

Imo, Rick stares at Michonne a little too much and a little too long for it to just be written off as casual or merely trying to diffuse the situation.

(Side note: I love that Danai and Andy said this is one of the earliest moments that they knew they had a special chemistry as actors. They really did make a scene surrounded by other characters feel like it was just the two of them. ☺️)

To me, it seriously feels like each time Rick looks at Michonne in this scene (and in many season 3 scenes really) he feels something he’s ‘not supposed to’ feel and sees something he wasn’t expecting to see - because, without being cognizant of it yet, he sees his future. He sees himself. He sees someone his heart wants and desires in this intriguing, intoxicating, and soul-filling way.

And so it’s almost like in those early days Rick kept staring at this captivating woman partly confused because he’s supposed to just look at her and see a suspicious stranger, but instead somewhere deep within him what he really sees is his other half, someone he’s meant for and whose meant for him, someone capable of getting him to get down on one knee in the woods and profess his undying love for one day. 🥲

Like he's trying to look intimidating in this s3 scene with Michonne but then Rick always has this shift in his expression like he’s more genuinely dazed from the fact that looking at Michonne for some reason is like looking in a mirror. Looking at her, little did he know he was seeing his universe all in one person.🥹

And as for Michonne, I adore that she has known for so long that she's with Rick no matter what. From "I'm still with you" pre-canon to "I'm yours" post-canon. It's always him for her. 🥹

Also, I just have to note the way Rick looks at her when Michonne makes her way down to her knees is always so swoon-worthy to me. 😊 It's been such a great journey watching Richonne's stares soften over each season to the point that now they look into each other's eyes so utterly in love.

gif cred: @nat111love

So after Michonne says she's his, they share another ten out of ten kiss and it’s just the perfect way to close out the scene. 👏🏽😭

I love how Michonne is smiling through the first kiss, and the way Rick's holding her, and the fact that of course the passion only continues to ramp up between them as they wrap their arms around each other.

gif cred: @nat111love

I think about how in TOWL ep 3, Rick and Michonne were on their knees in CRM uniforms kissing in the woods but not yet on the same page.

And now they’re back to their more usual attire and on their knees kissing but fully in sync again and ready to both handle the CRM and go home. Mr. & Mrs. Grimes are 100% back. 😌

gif cred: @nat111love

And I love how it's the masterpiece Episode 4 that got Richonne from point A in ep 3, on their knees in the woods unsure of how to escape with much to reconcile, to point B in ep 5, on their knees in the woods, reaffirming 'I’m yours,' and fully on one accord again.

So then, after this solid gold scene, they cut to Father Gabriel waiting on a log but Jadis isn’t going to be showing up this time around. What Father G doesn't know is Jadis was attempting to threaten Richonne and ASZ and so after just a day of aiming to kill them, Rick and Michonne had to go ahead and send her to the underworld same-day delivery. 📦👌🏽

But Rick and Michonne also have very good hearts and so it seems they left a burial site for her, marked with an 'A' stone.

That 'A' has some layers to it because one; it’s like Rick and Michonne are allowing her to die as Anne the Artist rather than Jadis the Snake, with Anne seeming to have been her better and more human persona.

And two; seeing the 'A' to me always feels reminiscent of how Jadis would spray paint As on the holding containers in the trash heap. It was very kind of Richonne to give her a burial and to put an ‘A’ for Anne instead of an “S” for Snake/Serpent/Scam Artist. 

gif cred: @perryabbott

A helicopter flies above the burial site and, even tho we don't get to see Richonne inside, I love we get to at least know that Michonne got to see her man fly a helicopter.

If Michonne and I are really on the same wavelength like I think we are, I know she thought Rick piloting the helicopter was sexy. 😊 Probably sitting in that helicopter and watching him like...

And as their helicopter flies off into the sky, that concludes episode 5, with Richonne and us now soaring into the TOWL finale. 👌🏽

Honestly, on rewatch I do like episode 5 better than I thought. It’s still not as high as 1-4 but the Richonne content is just so great in this ep that I still very much enjoy it. 😌 And that's how you know your ship is an abundance of riches when even the lower-rated ep still has some solid gold scenes and a top 10 all-time scene. 👑

gif cred: @lousolversons

Before I even wrote a single word of this breakdown, I knew this specific scene's revelings would be a long two-parter - because I mean, for longtime Richonne fans this proposal scene is just better than a dream. So I had to do my best to go as all out as I could when gushing over every detail. 😋

I adore that after years of Rick dreaming of having this proposal with Michonne, the two of them finally got to share this moment. And it was as beautiful as can be.

gif cred: @nerd4music

Rick and Michonne both are just so aware that they’ve found a true treasure in finding each other, and I love that this scene so perfectly captured their stunning love and their commitment to belong to each other forever and always.

It was a joy to see Richonne so clearly establish that they are Mr. and Mrs. Grimes, until the end of time. 🥳💍🙌🏽🎉🥂🎊

[starfish-spencer]

I'm really disappointed that the Lassie and Jules subplot in Gus's Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy ended with Jules just... uninviting Lassie to her family Christmas celebrations because he was too awkward and anti-social.

Like, the entire point of her inviting him in the first place was so that he wouldn't be lonely on Christmas, and then HE ENDS UP ALONE ON CHRISTMAS ANYWAY?? When he couldn't socialize the way he was expected to (autism), Jules's first reaction was to not let him come over again.

The important thing here is that it's not even Christmas yet! The first time I saw the episode, I was waiting for something else to happen, for Jules to come up with a solution, but this scene here is just the end of the subplot. She lets him believe that he was "too cool" and that she was feeling jealous, which is still kind of uncomfortable. It also doesn't solve the problem of Lassie not having friends or family to spend the holidays with.

The thing that bugs me the most is that this seems so out of character for Jules. You're telling me that Juliet "gives cupcakes to all the new employees" O'Hara WOULDN'T care if Lassiter was left out? I just know that she would be doing EVERYTHING she could to make him stay and feel comfortable. She put so much effort into his birthday party, she remembered their work-iversary, I can't imagine she would be so embarrassed by him that she would give up on trying to make him feel included. If any of the other O'Haras made a comment or sly remark about his mannerisms, Juliet would shut them down with one stare.

I would have liked it if they had come up with another solution instead of just booting him (Like maybe Jules's nephews are playing with those little green army men toys and Lassie sits on the floor with them and helps them set up historically accurate battles. And they actually find it really cool).

Anyway, I just wanted to see Lassie getting adopted into the O'Hara family and not being alone during the holidays, since he's kind of like Juliet's brother anyway. Maybe the O'Hara family sits down to open presents and Lassie just stands off in the corner because obviously no one got him anything, right? But then Jules hands him a gift, and it is something perfect for him like a Clint Eastwood poster or the Grease soundtrack on vinyl. And he gives her a big hug while holding back tears. And it would still be a while before he meets Marlowe anyway, so maybe for the next few years, he goes over to the O'Haras for the holidays.

This subplot could have been so sweet and heartwarming, and there was a lot of missed potential. I'm not angry, but I think it was a strange writing choice. I know my girl Jules is better than this! :)

[rinadragomir]

My thoughts on the couples included in Better in Black for those who care

I expect you to write down yours so work work

📍Wessa

You know, as a dedicated Jessa stan I wanna say that it's okay~ Because these two were together for 50 years or sth, there's still some things to add. We might watch them in their 30s, 50s, 60s. I guess at this point both camps have around the same amount of content. Plus I'll have Jessa in twp so I'm in peace 🌱

📍Clace

All my first thoughts are over here. I'm a Clace defender, I'm their oldest stan, I'm a veteran👩‍🦳 So I feel like I have a right to say that...it was kinda unnecessary. We've witnessed every step in their relationship so far, beginning of it in TMI, gentle transition to adulthood in TDA and Tales of Shadowhunter Academy, adulthood in SOBH and proposal. So if the story isn't about their wedding then WHAT THE HELL IS IT ABOUT REALLY? And we know that they won't get married until twp.

📍Anna & Ari (Arianna!)

Hey🥺that is nice, we've seen so little of them in chain of thorns and I've loved them since their debut in 2018 in that short story. I'm very biased when it comes to TLH, cause I'm their mother. So YAY🌱they have a long way to go, Anna still needs to change a tiny little bit for them to be healthy, so I'd love to witness it

📍Jordelia

We all have known about it, because Cassie kinda promised us their story a while ago. Wedding runes scene, honeymoon, kids, mortgage etc. Go kids, slay, serve, eat and so on, I'm excited for u!

📍Sebastian & Seelie Queen

🤨🧐🤔👁👁

Yeah... That famous Sebastian &Fanbase. Like... I'm conflicted, because it's useless and doesn't make any sense even tho it might slay. Listen up, I'll show you.

Lots of people defend it by saying that it might be important for Ash's background in TWP. But... No it's not. Because this is exclusive book made for few people who were lucky and financially stable enough to get it. It won't be posted online. So most people won't read it unless someone leaks it. So there's no point for that story to be important for the plot, therefore it has nothing to do with it.

And it's definitely not "one of the most beloved" couples. BUT LIKE... WHAT IF IT SLAYS? Toxic, unhinged romance, what if I'll love it? 🤡

📍Jemma

So you see the problem? Because it's the same as Clace. What else might she add, because there's nothing. SoBH ended like yesterday. We know exactly where they live rn, their daily routine, their plans. So there's nothing to add between SOBH and twp. What will it be about? Hard to say, but I hope Cassie will come up with sth interesting for them.

📍Thomastair (why did Cassie say Alistair instead of Alastair, I'm lost help me)

Yay🥺slay, serve, eat and leave no crumbs, go, kill it idk you're doing great boys, there's so much to add and explore because they've just started dating. I'm so excited ^-^

📍Kierartkina

That is fine. No matter what I think about their relationship, because in my point of view Cristina and Kieran fell in love because Cassie said so apparently, I still don't mind them being there. Because there's also lots of things to discuss and explore. I hope the story will be soft and warm☀they've just started their advantage so it definitely makes sense

📍Sizzy

Even though we've had lots of them in TMI and Shadowhunters Academy I still think they deserve to be here. They are famous (I guess? 👁👁) and I'd like to know more about their plans for future. Simon was still a teenager in the stories collection and now I'd love to see him as a grown man being in relationship with the woman he loves.

📍Luke & Jocelyn

👁👁🤨🧐🤔👀

Well... That was... Unexpected. I guess... I've just never met their fandom but I hope it's huge af, because I don't know why else would they be here. Sophideon, Gabrily and Charlotte with Henry were supposed to be here, let's be honest. But since they're here, I do think Cassie is able to make a decent story. I expect it to be bittersweet, angsty and somehow heartwarming. I think there's nothing to say except let's wait and find out.

OVERALL I think it's pretty fine. Maximum 7/10 from me. I was ready to face the worst, but it turned out to be... Fine. So it's fine☺🌱

[empty-dream]

Just played To The Moon Beach Episode

Just kidding it's been almost one month since I played and I'm NOT over it.

Chronologically taking place sometime after the end of Impostor Factory, specifically after the Bestest Dancers comic.

Happy note first, I LOVE the surfing minigame. I played with all 4 characters just so I could get all the winner banners lmao.

Also the conversations, when funny, are funny as fuck, classic Freedbird Games.

My favorites were the night pool scene and the basement scene. I LOST MY SHIT lmaooo.

The beach memories with messages from players is so cool and heartwarming. Is there any way I can put my message there too? I'd probably write an essay inside tho.

Kan (and I assume his wife and son?) makes an appearance is so cute.

On the other hand, it is indeed the most depressing beach episode.

Or rather, the first half was wacky as shit with just a sliver of hints, and then BOOM DEPRESSION.

The aforementioned night pool scene? When I picked "says nothing" I laughed my ass off. Then I restarted the game at that point and picked "show approval" thinking that it would lead to another hilarious exchange. It slapped me with realistic truth and sad what-ifs instead.

I knew it'd be sad like there are hints but DAMN I DIDN'T EXPECT FREEBIRD GAMES TO ACTUALLY GO DOWN THIS ROUTE I REALLY THOUGHT THEY WOULDN'T, I JUST DIDNT EXPECT IT WOULD COME LIKE RIGHT NOW 😭

Kan Gao made To the Moon when he was mulling over mortality since his grandpa had life-threatening illness, and since then it has always been about grief and questions revolving death and life.

And I personally feel like the Beach Episode is the peak of everything the series is about: Grief, regret, what-if, the parameter of "a great life."

After following the series for around a decade, it just hits so hard I still don't even know what to say.

SPOILER BELOW

ROSAWATTS CANON BUT AT WHAT COST

"I wanted to build you a garden." "You didn't give me enough time to prepare." WHAT THE FUCK BRO YOU CANT JUST DO THIS TO ME TT O TT

You know, when you think about it, what happened to Neil and Eva is exactly the opposite of Quincy and Lynri.

The only reason why Neil never confesses to Eva, despite loving her since teenager, was because he knew the pain of losing a loved one like how his father Quincy lost his mother Lynri, and Neil didn't want that to happen to Eva.

And it was all for nothing. Eva still ends up doing exactly what Neil fears, and WORSE.

Not only she suffers watching him die and losing him in the end, she keeps reliving all their days together. Since the very first game in fact. It's the only explanation why there was pain signal even in real life back in the first game and why the Minisode had Eva in her room.

It begs the question, would it have been better if he admitted his condition and feelings for Eva sooner? If instead of fearing what would happen in the end, Neil opened up earlier, like how Lynri did to Quincy? If Neil and Eva had more time, if Eva had more time to prepare, if they had more time to be together in the way that they've always wanted, if they had more time to make peace with the knowledge of what would come together, would it be any better?

I personally don't know the answer to that. At first glance, I thought the answer would be yes. But somewhere in my heart, I knew it'd still hurt anyway. It'd be just a different kind of pain. And I don't know if it's fundamentally right to compare those pains.

When they say grief is a difficult topic, they are not kidding.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Top 5 comics that aren't bat related?

GOD okay I'm admittedly so so behind on my non-Bat comic reading because trying to read Everything Published In A 15 Year Period is fucking TIME CONSUMING, but! but but but!!! I have some fun ones!! also as always these are not in ANY particular order!

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021)

first off: yes we are including graphic novels! that's just a honkin big comic! nobody @ me! anyway, I read Thirsty Mermaids in one sitting on an airplane earlier this year and it was delightful. it follows three mermaid besties who turn themselves into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to get stuck when the party mage can't remember how to turn them back. what follows is a mix of shenanigans and genuinely heartwarming character development as the trio cope with being landlocked and try to survive capitalism. there's a high potential for a story like this to get cloyingly oversentimental, but Thirsty Mermaids struck the right balance for me the whole way through and never went overboard.

also, the character designs are soooooo fun. look at them!

2. My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2016)

MLEWL is one of those books that actually completely lives up to the hype and then some, and it totally knocked me on my ass the first time I read it. I didn't really know what to expect going in, but I was totally blown away by how boldly Nagata's willing to share the ugliest parts of her life through this reflection. it's so much more than romance and yearning (and that isn't even really resolved by the book's end! Nagata continues to struggle with interpersonal relationships in later books, which you should also read!), and it felt really refreshing to see such an honest depiction of how much being depressed and anxious and insecure can just fucking suck. but at the same time, Nagata's ability to turn all of that into art and process what she's experienced in a really levelheaded way as she finds the will to grow and change is really affirming.

I have to give a special note of appreciation to the actual sex scene and how intimacy is negotiated between Nagata and the sex worker she hires, especially the ultimate realization that sex is just an act and losing her virginity didn't really change anything about why she was unhappy in her life. as a sex educator, I really appreciated the honesty and sheer practicality of how it was all framed.

3. Nimona (ND Stevenson, 2015)

hi okay yes basic bitch alert I'M AWARE, but I reread Nimona last year to remind myself of why I didn't want to watch the Netflix adaptation and I was so right for that, because OG Nimona fucks so much harder. it's heartfelt but also chaotic and violent and funny and deeply jaded; I think when I mentioned it in my monthly reading synopsis here I described it as weird art for pissed off queer people by a weird pissed off queer person. and I stand by that! if you haven't read it already or if you haven't in a while, it's right there waiting for you with an open invitation to burn the entire corrupt government to the ground.

I know the word feral is overused and therefore cringe but christ, comic Nimona is feral. come on, man. just let her kill your ex. he's a cop.

4. Superman Smashes the Klan (Gene Luen Yang and Gurihiru, 2020)

I had to get one DC comic in here, sue me! it's not Batman-related at all! it's a really rad Superman story that takes place in the 1940s and loosely reimagines an old radio serial, "Clan of the Fiery Cross," the was pretty much a 16-part hit piece on the KKK that was hugely successful in tarnishing their reputation and getting membership to drop. how cool is that? in this version we follow Lee family, Chinese-Americans who have just moved to Metropolis and are met with harassment from the local Klansmen, contrasted with Clark, early in his hero career, still figuring out the full extent of his alien abilities. you get some really nice parallel storytelling between the Lee kids, Tommy and Roberta, exploring what it means to be part of two different cultures at the same time Clark is going through something similar figuring out how to be a representative of two totally different planets, and it all works out in a way that's really sweet. now that I have a friend who's a baby I can't wait until he's old enough to get a copy.

it's an extremely comic book-y comic but in, like, the best way possible.

5. Hawkeye (Matt Fraction and David Aja, 2012-2015)

I can't believe I almost forgot to list tumblr darling Matt Fraction's Hawkeye! what do I even say about this series that hasn't been said already? I love the way Clint Barton is a sadsack piece of shit who's repeatedly ruined his own life, and I love rooting for him anyway because he's just trying so goddamn hard. and also because there's a teenage girl who stole his name and gimmick bullying him the whole time. (Kate Bishop you are everything to me and you will always be famous.) there are costumes and crime fighting but it's first and foremost a slice of life about a life that fucking sucks but keeps on trucking anyway, and that's so up my alley it's not even funny. a lot of the humor probably feels dated now but fuck it, the series is iconic for a reason.

MCU, eat your heart out.

bonus because I wrote out the whole thing and then decided I wanted to include a different one: Paper Girls (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2015-2019)

I'd be lying if I said that the thing about this series that I love first and foremost wasn't the art, because Chiang's art is breathtaking and I'll read anything ever if he does the art on it. but it's also just a super cool twisty, time-bending story about four girls getting roped into some high sci-fi bullshit when they're just trying to finish up their paper routes the morning after Halloween and having everything go to hell around them. I really respect a series that is committed to being weird and doesn't really care if you don't understand what's going on for a decent chunk of the plot, especially because it all comes together in a way that's pretty satisfying. waiting to read the whole series in one big run once it was all published so that I could track all the little hints and clues and things coming together across time travel bullshit was mwah, delicious.

also more than anything it's a story about how you Do Not fuck with 12 year old girls, especially in packs, because they're metal as hell, and I'm really about that.

[ninasbookshelf]

webtoons i’m reading

time for one of my favorite recurring posts, aka webtoon discussion time!! i love checking in with these stories every week, and reading the comments on each chapter is so much fun (nothing better than the webtoons comment sections fr). i've been keeping up with a few of these webtoons for months, and others i started reading over the holidays.

there will be (mild) spoilers for some of these!

Cursed Princess Club - possibly my favorite webtoon of all time! it's always on this list. i've been living for the weekly updates; there's so much excitement in each new chapter. i cannot recommend it more. for the current fans: things are finally coming to a head with the plaid king. 👀 i'm very curious to see where certain characters end up (blaine? lance? aurelia? the pastel king??).

Muse on Fame - this is another webtoon that i've been following for quite some time. it's pretty dark, and things seem to be spiraling even more for the main character. i do wonder how it'll play out for Myeong and what kind of ending the author is heading towards. if anyone has theories i'd love to hear them.

High Spirits Neoma - ok i've been loving this!! it's refreshing, lighthearted and funny a lot of the time while also including the occasional emotional moment and some mysterious darkness in the background that i’m sure will resurface. the main characters are so cute and i love the humor in it.

Re: Trailer Trash - i'm not usually a fan of the whole "character goes back in time and lives their life differently" trope but for some reason i love this one. it's heartwarming and feels healing. i really hope things work out for Tabitha. (*mild spoilers*) i want her to befriend the artist so badly! also i LIVED for the scene where tabitha's cousins stick up for her at the park. i love that tabitha is building a community now (whether she realizes it or not) and i think that community will be there to support her when she needs it.

The Age of Arrogance - ok this one is brand new to me, as of a few days ago! there are only 12 (i think) free episodes so far, so it's easy to catch up if you want to try it out. i'm actually loving it!! this webtoon is so refreshing and funny compared to similarly-marketed comics on the app. it's silly, i love asha and her directness and i find carlisle hilarious in his attempts to get asha's attention.

those are all the webtoons i've been reading lately! i feel like i have a really good, regular roster now. if you've read any of the webtoons above, please share your thoughts! i'd love to chat about them. (and i'm always taking recs!)

[squirrelwithatophat]

Boinking Fade Spirits: A Very Important Meta

Continuing in the vein of fantasizing out loud about what I want to see in Dragon Age: Dreadwolf, I think it would be great if the game would allow players to romance and/or sleep with a Fade spirit. Below I’ll elaborate on what we know about Fade spirit sexuality, both as a review and as a way to demonstrate that a Fade spirit romance would be consistent with prior lore.

Cole/Compassion 

We know it’s possible for a Fade spirit to fall in (romantic/sexual) love because that is one potential outcome of Cole/Compassion’s character arc in Dragon Age: Inquisition.  If the player’s influence leads Cole to become more human during Subjected to His Will (his companion quest), he eventually pursues a romance with the minstrel/bard Maryden in the Trespasser DLC, set two years after the end of the main story. We're introduced to the relationship during a heartwarming scene during the companion catch-up conversations, transcribed below:

Maryden: Oh, Cole, good day! I didn’t see you there.

Cole: But I saw you, as lovely as your songs.

(Cole gives her a kiss on the cheek)

Inquisitor: ("I'm happy for you") I’m pleased for both of you.

Maryden: The world has ample pain, Inquisitor. The kindness found in Cole is rare indeed.

Cole: Her songs bring happiness to those who hear… and I can make her happy in return.

It’s implied that the attraction has turned physical during a banter in Trespasser (emphasis mine):

Cole: Some of the stones here are pretty. I should get one for Maryden.  

Dorian: You’ve got a lady friend? Really?      

Iron Bull: You and the bard, huh?

Cole: I am human now.

Iron Bull: Good for you, kid! Let me know if you need any tips.

Dorian: No, no, that’s fine. You’re a real boy now. Would’ve lost gold on it being a girl, but that’s probably just me.

Cole: She’s kind, and her voice helps people. And her bodice smells good.  Wait, I shouldn’t have said that. Forget! Oh, that doesn’t work anymore. Forget?

Granted, by this time Cole isn’t a “pure” or “true” Fade spirit (for lack of a better term), given that the romance only begins if Cole has turned more human over time (otherwise, spirit-Cole likes Maryden as a person and helps her out but has no romantic interest in her; in fact, he even facilitates a romance between Maryden and another human, Krem, during Trespasser). It is, however, evidence that Fade spirits can come to develop romantic feelings for humans (or rather mortals), at least under certain circumstances.  

But what about sex with Fade spirits?

Cole for one is confirmed to be a virgin as of the events of Dragon Age: Inquisition (although, again, we see no evidence of any romance until two years later in Trespasser) by the desire demon (or self-proclaimed “choice spirit”) Imshael in the confrontation in Suledin’s Keep (Emprise du Lion) during the quest Call Me Imshael.  When offered a deal, if the Inquisitor asks for “virgins,” the following exchange occurs:

Inquisitor: I’d like to be showered with virgins.

Imshael: I should really stop offering virgins.  Everyone always chooses them, and I can never find any.

(If Cole is in the party):

Imshael: Oh wait, there’s one.  Eeh... you probably don’t want him.

On the other hand, Imshael the desire demon is suggesting that the Inquisitor wouldn’t be interested in Cole, but not that Cole wouldn’t potentially be interested in sleeping with the Inquisitor.  Interesting, isn’t it?

Desire Demons

It does appear to at least be possible to have sex with a Fade spirit.  In Dragon Age: Origins, a male mage Warden can enter the Fade and have sex with a Desire demon (a type of Fade spirit) in exchange for allowing the demon to continue possessing Connor Guerrin during The Arl of Redcliffe arc.  

Unfortunately, the outcome for poor Connor is less than ideal; according to the epilogue slides, making any deal with the demon whatsoever will result in Connor remaining possessed and then disappearing forever.  Some people might frown on selling a child’s soul in exchange for a chance to get laid, especially if you also murder his mom in a blood ritual in the process, but I believe this is a case in which the fandom needs to calm down and simply agree to disagree.

Desire demons are also shown enchanting people into acting out romantic or sexual fantasies without full possession. In the Broken Circle arc of DAO, the Warden encounters an unnamed Desire demon who has the Templar Drass under her spell in the Templar Quarters of Kinloch Hold. Apparently she has bewitched him with the fantasy/delusion that she is his wife and that they are going about normal and rather domestic activities, including tucking "the children" in bed. The codex entry Desire and Need reveals that Knight-Commander Greagoir had previously berated Drass for failing to live up to "the devotional requirements of training," presumably indicating that the latter might have been more interested in eventually settling down and starting a family than on being a religious fanatic on guard duty spiraling into dementia from being forced to huff magic rock dust. It's later made clear that Templars are in fact allowed to have sex and even marry, given that the Templar Wesley marries Aveline Vallen in Lothering (DA2) and that former Knight-Commander Cullen explicitly states in DAI that sex was permitted for Templars in Kinloch Hold and Kirkwall. However, the sort of domestic life that Drass dreamed of may not have been a viable option, since Templars are supposed to live in Circle towers and Chantries while the spouses and (non-mage) children of Templars do not appear to receive accommodations in either.

A similar instance of a Desire demon, this one named Allure, bewitching people into acting out fantasies occurs in the Repentance (Act 2) quest of DA2, although this time it involves explicitly sexual content. Here we see Lord Harimann, characterized by his childhood friend Sebastian as otherwise being a "prude," evidently preparing to engage in very kinky sex with an unnamed elven woman in lingerie. More specifically, they're standing half-nude around a bed, a whipping post, “manacles” to use for bondage, and an Iron Maiden, as the woman loudly urges him to apply "the feather" even “lower,” and Harimann chuckles, "Now, you be the naughty apprentice, and I’ll be the Templar torturer." His last shout is, “Today, I am more than a man! Come! Felicitate me!” Born-again "Choir Boy" and sole unfuckable/volcel romance option Sebastian Vael is naturally aghast, exclaiming, “I beg your pardon, Hawke. I did not mean to expose you to such things,” as if Hawke and Isabela don’t already do these things literally every single day after returning home from the Hanged Man.

The motive behind why Desire demons bewitch people in this manner short of full possession is laid out by the Desire demon in Broken Circle (DAO):

Desire Demon: I saw his loneliness and longing for a family that loved him. No one else would have known his heart. He did not know it himself.

Warden: You've made him into your slave.

Desire Demon: I fulfill his dreams... I grant him all his desires. Is he my slave, or am I his? We are partners. I give him what no one else can, and through him, I experience what it is to be mortal.

Warden: Well, he deserves to be free from you. To find his own happiness.

Sten: Freedom cannot be given. The templar must choose it for himself. If you help this man, what does he learn? Nothing.

Desire Demon: Our thoughts and spirits are melded. If one perishes, so does the other. Though much of my strength is spent maintaining this link, I am his wife, and his children; he will defend me to the death if need be. I want nothing from you. I have what I need. All I ask is that you leave us alone.

So, to sum up, we have in-game examples of Desire demons having sex with mages in the Fade, enchanting people into acting out sexual and romantic fantasies, and flirting with visitors to the Fade (seen with Isabela during Night Terrors in DA2; referenced by Dorian in DAI). Not to mention their stripper-esque getups and repeated breast-fondling. Desire demons are thus clearly canon sexual/romance options.

As far as sex with non-demonic Fade spirits goes, however, we’re in murkier territory.  

Wynne/Faith 

In DAO, one of our potential companions, Wynne, is of course possessed by a spirit of Faith.  Wynne makes multiple references to having slept around in the past (with both mages and Templars, ultimately being impregnated by one of the latter, heavily implied to be Greagoir) and even indicates that she has continued to be sexually active into middle age (“It would not be the first time I woke to a younger man in my bed”), but there’s no reference in the game to having enjoyed sex and/or romance post-possession — although to be fair, the possession is a rather recent occurrence, the party is in the midst of trying to stop the end of the world, and she is technically undead. (Full disclosure: I haven’t read all of Asunder yet, so let me know if you are aware of any information about Wynne’s sex life while possessed).  It may also be worth noting that despite being repeatedly compared to a “grandmother,” she’s actually only 49 years old as of DAO.

Zevran for one seems into it.  Not only does he flirt with her (though perhaps only in jest), but he seems to find the spirit possession a little too exciting for Wynne’s taste.

Zevran: ... but what does it feel like being possessed by a spirit?

Wynne: Why does this interest you so?

Zevran: I simply wish to get to know those that I travel with. Is that wrong of me?

Wynne: No, of course it isn't. Well... let me see. It is hard to describe. It is comforting... I... I feel safe, loved.

Zevran: Comforted, loved, yes...

Wynne: It is like being held close, cradled... the bond is so complete that I am unable to extricate myself, nor do I wish to. Wait... why do you have that look on your face?

Zevran: Mmm, I... I am simply imagining it. Continue, please.

Wynne: And there is a constant warmth, that spreads outwards from the very center of my being, infusing my body with--

Zevran: Ooh...

Wynne: Andraste's grace, what are you thinking about now? No, I don't want to know. I feel dirty. Do not speak to me.

Zevran also flirts with Wynne without reference to the possession, which reinforces the idea that he’s into it. (And remember, despite being repeatedly called an “old woman” and compared to a “grandmother,” Wynne is only 49 years old. Definitely within MILF territory).

Zevran: But it is a marvelous bosom. I have seen women half your age who have not held up half so well. Perhaps it is a magical bosom?

Wynne: Stop... talking about my bosom.

…

Zevran: There have been many bosoms in my past, though only few as fine as yours.

Wynne: Enough. I am ending this conversation.

…

Wynne: Zevran, I am old enough to be your grandmother.

Zevran: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Wynne: And what would you do with me if you had me, hmm? This is a game you play, nothing more.

Zevran: Ha, you are a cynical woman, Wynne. Cynical and powerful. It drives me mad with desire.

Kristoff/Justice

In Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, one of our companions is a spirit of Justice involuntarily possessing the corpse of a human Grey Warden named Kristoff.  Justice soon reveals that he has partial access to Kristoff’s memories but not any of Kristoff’s emotions.

Shortly after defeating the Baroness, during the conversation potentially leading to recruiting him into the party:

Justice: It seems I cannot return to the Fade. I am trapped here in the body of this “Grey Warden”? There are memories within this poor man’s mind, they are… they are difficult to see. But... he was a Grey Warden? He was... slain by the darkspawn, the one called The First?

Warden: The darkspawn are who the Grey Wardens fight. 

Justice: And that was your pursuit when you were tricked into the Fade, yes, I understand now.

Justice: It seems I am at a loss. I know nothing of this world, and have only a few memories of this Grey Warden to draw from. I do not wish to die. What shall I do, mortal?

This is relevant to the later discussions regarding Kristoff’s wife Aura.  Justice indicates he doesn’t personally feel Kristoff’s love for Aura but instead longs for such an experience of his own.  Yet this longing in itself is enough to trigger discomfort and questions about his identity as a (non-demonic) Fade spirit.

During the discussion following the quest Justice for Kristoff, after meeting Aura in the Amaranthine Chantry:

Justice: I have been thinking of Aura, the mortal woman who was wife to Kristoff. I continue to envy their love. But envy is what a demon feels, a desire for something it cannot have.

Warden: You aren’t taking it from them. There’s a difference. 

Justice: I… I think I understand. You coexist with both great darkness and great beauty. It must be confusing. Yet now I find myself wishing to be more. It is enlightening. Thank you for bringing me to this world.

This may have been part of the explanation for Justice’s deep attachment to seeking, well, “Justice for Kristoff.”  His overriding goal is to kill the Mother to punish her for ordering the murder of Kristoff (not that this stops him from openly eyeing Anders the entire time), and his willingness to excuse actions by the Warden that he considers morally objectionable (e.g., agreeing to murder a cop for money, burning down Amaranthine, allying with their former kidnapper) is motivated by a belief that working with the Warden is necessary to achieve that objective.  If the Warden tells him that he isn’t Kristoff and should just “let it go,” Justice explicitly says, “I cannot” (with this dialogue option netting -3 in Disapproval).  It’s true that Justice takes a deep interest in Kristoff’s life in general (even collecting personal property to reminisce over), but he specifically cites Kristoff’s wife as a primary point of interest.  He explicitly says he wants to experience love and romance and sees Kristoff and Aura as an ideal example.  

(The Warden’s potential response of “You aren’t taking it from them” and “There’s a difference” also calls to mind Nathaniel’s ultimately successful argument in favor of possessing a living body: “Perhaps together, you can do what they cannot do alone. If you gave instead of taking, I would consider you no demon.”)

In general, Justice seems ignorant of and/or confused about sexuality and expresses annoyance at Oghren's dirty jokes and OG Anders’s habit of making a pass at every woman he meets.

When Oghren tries to probe Justice about reproductive functions and Kristoff’s memories of married life, Justice seems to not understand the sexual innuendo nor the significance of sexuality to marriage (or at least to most marriages that do not end in divorce).  

Oghren: Now that you have a physical body, what do you plan to do with it?

Justice: Serve justice, as I always have.

Oghren: I know what I'd do if I suddenly became a complete man.

Justice: You are alluding to something. I know not what.

Oghren: You can't be that stupid.

Justice: We have work to do.

Oghren: And... er... everything works? Everything's intact? All the plumbing?

Justice: You are alluding to something. I know not what.

Oghren: Oh, come on!

Oghren: You have memories, right? Kristoff's memories.

Justice: Yes.

Oghren: And Kristoff was married? You have memories of that, yes?

Justice: Yes.

Oghren: Aha! So you must know what I'm talking about!

Justice: Must I?

Oghren: Come on! Kristoff must have buttered the southern pony in his day.

Justice: I do not believe Kristoff has ever seen a southern pony, let alone buttered it. What does that even mean?

Oghren: (Sigh) Nothing. It means nothing.

Moreover, Justice denies experiencing any physical needs or desires while possessing Kristoff’s corpse and finds Oghren’s refusal to shut up about sex and excretion rather irritating.

Justice: You speak often of bodily functions.

Oghren: (Grunts) Not half as often as they happen.

Justice: But why this preoccupation? I have a mortal body, yet it provides me no such amusement.

Oghren: You have a dead mortal body. Try a living one sometime, and then we'll talk.

Justice: Possess a living host? I would never!

Oghren: Tough break. Enjoy the corpse love.

While he doesn’t report anything resembling sexual desire, Justice does seem to pine over lyrium, which emits a song that appears especially attractive to spirits.  So at this time he has retained his Spirit-related interests without fully acquiring human ones. His lack of awareness of sexuality leads to interesting implications for when he does possess a living body. As Oghren points out, Justice currently has “a dead mortal body,” and things could very well be different if and when he chooses to inhabit “a living one.”

But if we’re being honest, most of the people reading this are only really here for Anders, so let’s not beat around the bush.

Anders/Justice

Prior to his possession by Justice, Anders seems to have gotten around.  A lot, actually.  Despite the heavy restrictions on romantic and sexual relationships in the Circle, and despite being forcibly separated from his first long-term lover (whom he dreamt of saving for decades prior to the latter’s demise in the Tranquility quest), Anders was apparently an active participant in Kinloch Hold’s surreptitious hookup culture. In real-life contexts in which open romance is prohibited, after all, it’s a lot easier to get away with no-strings-attached casual sex than with maintaining long-term relationships, and this ultimately tends to undermine and destabilize such bonds. Consistent with this, if romanced in DA2, Anders will say, “When I was in the Circle, love was only a game. It gave the templars too much power if there was something you couldn't stand to lose. No mage I know has ever dared to fall in love. This is the rule I will most cherish breaking.” Despite World of Thedas vol. 2 confirming that he and Karl Thekla “shared a deep love,” Anders remains reluctant to admit that he was ever in love (at least prior to the romance with Hawke) — although this probably stems more from the pain of losing him (twice, in fact).

During Awakening, Anders flirts with or otherwise expresses interest in virtually every woman he meets (sometimes rather inappropriately, as seen in his whistling at Velanna in the video above), including the Warden. He’s heavily implied to have been in a romantic/sexual relationship with his so-called “friend” in Amaranthine, Namaya (an city elven “mundane”/non-mage), given that she seems to resent him despite going out of her way to help him over a year after they last met and that she’ll grumble to a female Warden not to let him “sweet talk” her. In their Act 1 banter in DA2, Isabela and Anders will reveal that they had hooked up in The Pearl (Denerim’s brothel) during one of his escape attempts, apparently using magic for kink.

Anders: I keep thinking I know you from somewhere...

Isabela: You're Fereldan, right? Ever spend time at the Pearl?

Anders: That's it!

Anders: You used to really like that girl with the griffon tattoos, right? What was her name?

Isabela: The Lay Warden?

Anders: That's right! I think you were there the night I—

Isabela: Oh! Were you the runaway mage who could do that electricity thing? That was nice...

Considering that initially he indicates that she looks familiar but can’t pinpoint where and how they met, that they had even had sex, and so forth, it sounds like such sexual encounters (with mundane women during escapes, potentially using “that electricity thing”) would have to have been fairly frequent and perhaps occurring a long time ago. And despite the common claim that he was/appeared totally straight until the second game, his high-approval dialogue with a male Warden is highly suggestive (“the picture of virile heroism”) — and this isn’t even getting into the “gay earring” and other queer-coding (which seems to have been intentional on the part of his original writer). As I mentioned above, Justice seems rather put off by Anders’s sexual antics, at least at this point in time. On the other hand, there are a few hints that Anders retains an interest in kink even post-possession (e.g., his apparently surprised/curious reaction to Merrill's interest in "dirty spells"). Most notoriously, if romanced by the time of Mark of the Assassin, he reveals a fantasy that is straight-up Nightmare Fuel, incorporating his worst fears (i.e., forcible Tranquility) and sadomasochistic elements:

Anders: Here I always figured you'd be the one coming to spring me from someone's dungeon. I had it all planned. I'd be in the Gallows, templars all around, holding the brand for the Rite of Tranquility. Then you'd burst in and break my chains. And then it would be all about the best way to show my gratitude.

Hawke: Did it have anything to do with finding another use for those chains?

Tallis: Not to come between you two or anything, but you didn't actually rescue us. I did.

Anders: I could be grateful to you too.

And he's into the idea of a threesome with Tallis ten seconds after learning she approves of mages like him having their mouths sewn shut.

Overall, though, Justice-Anders in DA2 has a noticeably more negative attitude towards sex (or at least casual/promiscuous sex) than did OG Anders in Awakening, but the reason for this is unclear. This change could be due to the influence of Justice, an understandable reaction to the number of STI cases he has treated in his clinic since coming to Kirkwall (of the local brothel, he complains, "I treat a lot of these customers in my clinic"), a reflection of increased religiosity (given that Anders likewise seems to go from skeptical and irreverent in Awakening to devoutly Andrastian, albeit of a heretical variety, in DA2), a reflection of aging or increasing depression... or it could simply mean nothing at all and be entirely attributable to a change in writer (from David Gaider to Jennifer Hepler) between games. Who knows?

In any case, in DA2, Anders repeatedly insists from the very beginning that when Justice possessed him, they merged into a new entity with shared thoughts and feelings (as opposed to Anders simply acquiring a moralistic voice in his head).

For example, at the end of Anders’s recruitment quest (Tranquility, Act 1):

Hawke: So, you have this spirit of justice living in your head?

Anders: It's not like that. He's gone now. He's part of me. It's not like we can... have a conversation. I feel his thoughts as my own. Not even the greatest scholar could tell you where I end and he begins.

(I recommend checking out the possession metas by @carabas both for the Justice-Anders merger and the general DA lore on spirit possession, including a collection of relevant quotes).

This is reinforced by the Tranquility (Act 1) quest log reading: “Anders was revealed to be a spirit of Justice, [sic] and killed his friend Karl. He provided copies of the Grey Warden maps of the Deep Roads around Kirkwall and is available to join the expedition if desired.” That is, the Anders we meet in the second game is in fact a spirit of Justice, not merely a human man with an extra passenger. Justice has become Anders much as Compassion has become Cole, although the latter’s identification is considered rather unusual in that, in Solas’s words, “You have not even possessed a body” (Subjected to His Will, DAI).

Sort of, anyways.

During the romance scene in Hawke’s mansion, Anders notoriously says (in his very first lines), “Justice does not approve of my obsession with you. He believes you're a distraction. It is one of the few things on which he and I disagree.”

Why this (allegedly) rare conflict? It’s heavily implied that Anders is in love with Hawke from their first meeting regardless of what happens next (e.g., “For three years [since having first met], you've haunted my sleep. I wake aching for you”; the Rivalry points not simply for rejecting his advances but for not flirting with him immediately; the later jealousy banter if he hadn’t explicitly been rejected in Acts 1 or 2); and if Hawke is a Friend, Anders outright exclaims, “Even Justice bows to you for the faith you have shown us” (Justice, Act 3) — suggesting that Justice does in fact like and/or approve of a supportive (at least as much as the game allows one to be) pro-mage Hawke. The word “even,” however, implies that Justice was inclined towards being hostile or suspicious of Hawke, at least initially.

Perhaps the phrase “obsession with you” is key. If romanced, Anders says that over the years he has spent a lot of time thinking about Hawke (see the above quote as well as a similar one, “For three years, I have lain awake every night, aching for you. I'm still terrified I'll wake up”), and Hawke does appear to hold a troubling amount of influence over him (e.g., convincing him to help kill or turn in mages in stark opposition to his and Justice’s morals and political goals, to venture into the Deep Roads repeatedly despite his claustrophobia and insistence that he never wants to return, and so forth), although much the same could be said of the other companions, who rarely do any more than briefly complain before complying with whatever Hawke asks. Prior to possessing Anders, Justice’s familiarity with love, sex, and romance had been limited to some “difficult to see” and emotionally-detached mental images of Kristoff’s marriage — again, without the direct experience of Kristoff’s feelings connected to them — and the affection of long-married couples tends to lack the intensity, absorption, and instability often associated with eager young people embarking on new love affairs.

It may also be worth noting that these lines about Justice’s disapproval comes not during the initial love confession and kiss but just prior to having sex (at a prearranged time and place) and in the immediate aftermath of a traumatic incident involving Justice taking over by force and lashing out blindly. In mages, it also seems that high emotional excitement can lead to a minor “leakage” of magic or temporary loss of control (perhaps an example of the Power Incontinence trope?), which may be especially frightening to them after the loss of control during Dissent (Act 2), which immediately precedes the romance. After all, Dorian sometimes accidentally shoots fire when shooting his shot (according to Iron Bull, at any rate), and Dorian's probably the chillest dude in the entire series.

Furthermore, as a spirit terrified of the prospect of demonic corruption, he’s inclined to see both desire (e.g., telling Anders that demons “have been perverted by their desires”) and envy (e.g., “envy is what a demon feels, a desire for something it cannot have”) as inherently demonic and corrupting, and it would be surprising if such an attitude didn’t create tension around sex and romance.

There’s a repeated insistence that Justice isn’t participating in the romance/sex, although this could be a case of Perhaps the Lady Doth Protest Too Much.

In the Hawke mansion, initiating the romance (Act 2):

Hawke: (“He's still in there... right?”) So, he's kind of... an unwilling participant in our threesome?

Anders: Don’t call it that.

In the Hawke mansion, rejecting Anders prior to sex (Act 2):

Hawke: Maybe we should wait until the voices in your head are in agreement.

Anders: I understand.

Meeting Isabela at the Hanged Man after initiating the Anders romance (Act 2):

Isabela: You, Anders... and Justice. That must be exciting! As they say, two's company, but three is better.

Hawke: (“Not with Justice”) I don’t think whoever made that claim had a Fade spirit in mind.

Isabela: No? You don't like his spear of righteousness then?

(Alternate):

Hawke: (“I like Anders”) I enjoy being with Anders. And that's all I'm going to say about it.

Isabela: We know about Anders.

Isabela: What about Justice? Does he not get involved? Or perhaps he thinks you're too good of a person and isn't willing to smite you? That would be a shame, wouldn't it? Everyone deserves a good smiting, now and then. I could use one right this minute.

(On a side note, considering that Isabela and Anders have had sex in the past, if they hooked up again post-possession, she would have an excellent opportunity to compare and contrast. I’m just sayin.’ It’s also interesting that both Zevran and Isabela have expressed potential interest in sex/intimacy with someone possessed by a Fade spirit. If two experienced sexual connoisseurs like Zevran and Isabela both agree that some novel sex activity would be good fun, I believe we can be fairly confident that it is at the very least worth trying).

Yet not only does Anders elsewhere repeatedly insist that Justice is always present (e.g., "It's always me. Justice and I are one," "He's part of me," "We are the same," etc.) and that the two share thoughts and feelings, but he makes the following amusing comment if rejected in favor of Merrill during the romance scene in Hawke's mansion: “Be careful. As innocent as she seems, she is still a blood mage. She is just less honest about there being a third party in your bed.”

Remember, his recurrent accusations are not that Merrill is currently possessed by a demon but that she's liable to eventually become possessed and/or is (perhaps unwittingly) doing the demon's bidding, which is considerably less intimate than the supernatural entity in question living in one's body and directly controlling one's thoughts and actions. Merrill even uses the word "platonic" to draw a distinction between her "relationship" with Audacity and Anders's "relationship" with Justice (Act 2 banter, post-Dissent, if Ella dies):

Anders: It's not a good feeling, you know… Being an abomination. I just got a taste of your future.

Merrill: I'm not that foolish. Our relationship is, um, strictly platonic.

So (at least when feeling cranky), he admits that Justice is a "third party in [their] bed" — occupying some role in their romantic/sexual relationship — even if he rejects the term "threesome." Again, recall that he simply cringes and urges Hawke not to "call it that" rather than actually rejecting the label as inaccurate per se.

So is Justice actually an "unwilling participant" in their "threesome?"

Maybe, but I doubt it.

Perhaps at risk of stating the obvious, Justice plays an increasingly dominant role in the Anders-Justice merger, and by the endgame at least, it appears that Anders may not even be capable of defying Justice’s wishes for any sustained period of time — and the relationship with Hawke lasts at least three years. It’s clear that Justice and Anders are in conflict at least some of the time, and there are at least brief moments in which one can seize full control and do something the other does not want. In the discussion after Tranquility (Act 1), Anders claims that the two usually blend together but that when he/they become sufficiently emotionally distressed, Justice can take over and lash out as “Vengeance,” episodes during which Anders has no awareness and/or no memory. The amnesia appears to be one-sided, though Anders wonders aloud if Justice has a similar experience so far as feeling controlled goes. If killed in the Fade during Night Terrors (Act 2) — whether Hawke fights him due to a misunderstanding or because Hawke genuinely tries to get Feynriel possessed by a demon — Anders worries that he could be emotionally harming Justice by making choices that the latter doesn't agree with (or at least doesn't explicitly give his blessing to), given that they are sharing the same body (Anders in the Fade, Act 2):

Hawke: (“You two never talk anymore”) Do you need someone to mediate between the voices in your head?

Anders: Hmm. There's an idea.

Hawke: (“You need to control him”) It's sounding more and more like he's the one in charge.

Anders: I've stayed out of the Fade since we merged. I don't like being a passenger in my own skin. I suppose Justice feels like that every day. Shackled to my body and every decision I make. No wonder it's become a prison for him.

However, at least as time goes on, Hawke's potential complaint that it's "sounding more and more like [Justice is] the one in charge" even outside of the Fade seems more accurate. Perhaps most obviously, in the few instances where Anders and Justice can actually be seen vying for control in the moment (e.g., upon initially encountering Ser Alrik during Dissent in Act 2; when confronted by a Rival Hawke at the end of the Justice quest in Act 3; and during Act 3 banter with Varric, when Varric complains that Justice won't let "Anders come out and play"), Justice ends up winning. On a more subtle and tragic level, Anders goes from personal aspirations and longing for relationships in Awakening to denigrating all this as “selfish” by Act 1 of DA2, wondering out loud “how much is left” of him without Justice in Act 2, and finally insisting “there is nothing else inside me” by Act 3. If he’s in a Rivalry relationship with Hawke, by the end of his personal quest in Act 3, Anders complains of blackouts and memory loss (during periods in which Justice seizes control forcibly), despairs that “he’s too strong,” and finally says, “It's like the longer we go, the less of me there is.�� It should be noted here however that the Friendship route and the Rivalry route represent two different character paths, so far as Anders’s relationship with Justice is concerned. While Anders and Justice are more in tune and tend to see themselves more as one being on the Friendship route (where Hawke is supportive), the Rivalry route entails Hawke instigating or exacerbating conflict between them by persuading Anders to defy Justice’s purpose (by siding against the mages), diversion from which has a corrupting influence on spirits. Regardless, with Justice increasingly in the driver's seat, by the endgame they have shifted to prioritizing the mage rebellion over a romantic relationship with Hawke. To quote the romance-specific dialogue from the aftermath of the Justice (Act 3) quest:

Anders: I love you. I wish that meant I would never hurt you. You are the most important thing in my life. But some things matter more than my life, more than either of us. I'm sorry.

(First Option):

Hawke: (“Love is important”) You're wrong. There is nothing more important than love!

Anders: I told you I would break your heart. Just know it breaks mine to do it.

(Alternate):

Hawke: (“You’re right”) This is war. We cannot be weakened by our feelings.

Anders: I knew you would understand.

(As an aside, it's a little mysterious why Anders doesn't simply reveal his plan to a Hawke who makes statements championing "war" and "overthrowing the Templars" and the like after happily supporting him with his "suspicious" requests, except on a meta-narrative level - that is, the authors wanted to preserve the surprise on the part of the player).

It's worth noting that Anders expresses surprise if Hawke doesn't literally stab him in the back during The Last Straw (Act 3), and he handles both being killed and being dumped with remarkable equanimity here (despite getting offended if being killed in the Fade or dumped immediately after sex in Act 2), suggesting that he had already made peace with these possibilities. Unlike the other two infamous Endgame Plot Twist Apostates, however, Anders does not disappear or attempt to terminate the relationship in the end — if anything, he’s positively thrilled if Hawke remains at his side. To quote the romance dialogue from just before the final battle with Meredith:

Anders: I should have trusted you. Even with all we've shared, I never thought you'd spare my life. If we live through this... you know I'll be hunted. No one in Kirkwall will offer me mercy. But... if you would join me, I'd rather be on the run with you than safe with anyone else.

Hawke: Then we will be fugitives together.

Anders: We will fight for a world where our children can be born mages and free. Ten years, a hundred years from now, someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no templars to tear them apart. May the Maker bring us victory. Or everything else is meaningless.

So despite everything, Anders is still in love with Hawke and hopes to pursue the romance, albeit from now on as an Outlaw Couple spreading the revolution across Thedas (which Hawke reports they have been doing in their DAI cameo, if Anders was romanced and supported and the mages defended). And in the end, his vision of what justice and mage freedom mean isn't about punishing all evildoers, about mages being represented in government or governing themselves, about equal rights under the law, or anything else that abstract -- rather, it's about the freedom to love and form families.

Prior to their merge, Justice talked abstractly and militantly about "oppression" and the need to "strike a blow against your oppressors" and "free those who remain oppressed," while Anders declared that individual-level freedom really meant the option to retire to a private life (phrased jokingly as "a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools"). Yet under the Friendship path in the second game, when Anders declares they have finally fully fused together, the ultimate end goal is that future generations can enjoy such loving relationships. Constructions such as "our children" and later generations of "someone like me" and "someone like you" (emphasis mine) represent a fusion of the personal and the collective, a substitution of vicarious fulfillment for personal happiness. After all, he had sacrificed his individuality and personal aspirations years before he prepared for any physical martyrdom. Yet "our children" has a more literal meaning as well. Did Anders, or perhaps Hawke, finally rub off on Justice?

Flemeth/Mythal

The last major spirit-human pairing featured in the games is that between Flemeth, the "Witch of the Wilds," and Mythal, the elven goddess of justice and childbirth. Flemeth is revealed to be carrying a "piece" of Mythal's soul/spirit in DAI, and describes the possession as follows in The Final Piece:

Flemeth: Once I was but a woman, crying out in the lonely darkness for justice. And she came to me, a wisp of an ancient being, and she granted me all I wanted and more. I have carried Mythal through the ages ever since, seeking the justice denied to her.

Inquisitor: Then… you carry Mythal inside you?

Flemeth: She is a part of me, no more separate than your heart from your chest.

The divinity of the elven gods is disputed by members of the pantheon themselves, namely Fen'Harel ("The Dread Wolf") in Trespasser and Flemeth/Mythal here. The pre-Trespasser dialogue even suggests that "Mythal" may be a Fade spirit.

For example, the Warden and Morrigan can speculate about whether Flemeth is some kind of abomination in DAO.

In DA2, Anders/Justice (an "abomination" himself) is confused as to the nature of Flemeth when encountering her on Sundermount during Long Way Home (Act 1).

Anders: What are you? A spirit? An abomination? This is no magic I've ever seen!

Flemeth: And you would know of spirits and abominations.

Anders: I'm a mage. Of course I know of such things.

Flemeth: Of course!

Fenris is also rather confused by her, although he rejects the notion that she could be a spirit or possessed by a spirit.

Fenris: You are no simple witch.

Flemeth: Figured that out yourself, did you?

Fenris: I have seen powerful mages, spirits, and abominations. But you are none of those things. What are you?

Flemeth: Such a curious lad. The chains are broken, but are you truly free?

The Inquisitor can express suspicions that what Flemeth is calling Mythal may have been a demon, and although the wisdom of the Well of Sorrows refutes this explanation, Flemeth does validate their questioning of the claim to godhood:

Inquisitor: That could’ve been a demon, lying to you.

Flemeth: What do the voices tell you? / You hear the voices of the Well, girl. What do they say?

Inquisitor / Morrigan: They say you speak the truth.

Flemeth: But what was Mythal? A legend given name and called a god, or something more? Truth is not the end, but a beginning... As for me, I have had many names. But you… may call me Flemeth.

Morrigan is also rather suspicious, and Flemeth's response (as per usual) does nothing to clarify the situation:

Morrigan: And you follow her whims? Do you even know what she truly is?

Flemeth: You seek to preserve the powers that were, but to what end? It is because I taught you, girl, because things happened that were never meant to happen. She was betrayed as I was betrayed—as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged! Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.

This all sounds very dramatic and even epic until we take a moment to reflect on the much less flattering (and even rather crass) depiction of Flemeth in DAO as well as the broader context.

For one, given that the elves who worshipped Mythal had received no discernible help from her across centuries of enslavement, dispossession, and genocide, it's unclear why Mythal instead chose to bond with a human woman entangled in a soap opera narrative of marital infidelity and domestic violence. (The non-response to the persecution to the elves is hand-waved away with Flemeth's usual evasions and non-sequiturs). DAI confirms that this is indeed Flemeth's backstory and the context in which she became possessed by the entity later identified as Mythal:

Inquisitor: I know the name “Flemeth.” It belongs to an ancient Fereldan legend. It says, long ago, you left your husband for a lover. Your husband then tricked you, killed your lover, and imprisoned you. Then a spirit came to offer you vengeance. Mythal—that’s what you spoke of.

Flemeth: One day, someone will summarize the terrible events of your life so quickly. But, yes, I was that woman. That is how my tale began.

Inquisitor: Flemeth appears in other legends, helping heroes for reasons of her own.

Flemeth: I nudge history, when it’s required. Other times, a shove is needed.

For another, her own daughter characterizes her as emotionally and potentially physically abusive, does not hesitate to believe that she is ready to harm her children and grandchildren, and later cries in despair, "I am many things, but I will not be the mother you were to me."

Flemeth apparently taught Morrigan that love is a weakness. To quote some examples:

Morrigan telling the story of how her mother shattered a mirror to teach her a lesson: "Beauty and love are fleeting and have no meaning. Survival has meaning. Power has meaning. Without those lessons I would not be here today, as difficult as they might have been."

If asked if she loves Flemeth: "What an odd thing to say. Why must ‘love’ enter into the equation? Flemeth taught me everything I needed to learn. How to survive. The meaning of power. The truth of men. If other mothers do not teach these things, then I believe them the lesser."

If romanced: "I have allowed myself to become… too close. This is a weakness."

If romanced, Morrigan exhibits familiarity and even confidence with sex but struggles to understand and cope with love.

Perhaps this ought not be surprising, considering the lessons Morrigan learned from Flemeth, who provided a less than stellar role-model when it comes to relationships with men.

Leliana: They say your mother is Flemeth, a witch of the Korcari Wilds.

Morrigan: They also say that washing your feet in winter makes you catch cold in the head, but we all know that is not true. But sometimes they are right and they are right in this.

Leliana: You know the stories about--

Morrigan: Of course. You think my mother would let me go without telling me all the stories of her youth?

Leliana: My mother told me stories too. She was the one who kindled my love of the old tales and legends.

Morrigan: Hmph. My mother's stories curdled my blood and haunted my dreams. No little girl wants to hear about the Wilder men her mother took to her bed, using them till they were spent, then killing them. No little girl wants to be told that this is also expected of her, once she comes of age.

Leliana: I… uh… I see.

Morrigan: No, you don't. You really don't.

That's right: Flemeth enjoyed bragging to her young daughter of luring "Wilder men" into sex and murdering them as soon as they're worn out... and told Morrigan that sleeping with strange men before murdering them was also "expected of her, once she comes of age." You know, totally normal parent-child dynamics? It also may be noteworthy when considering the reason Flemeth sent Morrigan with Alistair and the Warden to begin with. Namely, Flemeth wanted Morrigan to seduce Alistair and/or a male Warden in order to give birth to a baby with the soul of the Old God Urthemiel, for reasons that she never explains. The Final Piece suggests that Flemeth wanted to extract the now-purified Old God soul from the child, but no explanation is provided, and Morrigan herself is rather mystified by her motives and intentions.

Flemeth's tales of banging random guys in the wilderness before disposing of the bodies is also consistent with Chasind legends of Flemeth's many daughters despite the absence of any known/named men in her life (after the original drama of her abusive husband murdering her lover), although Morrigan considers the possibility of Flemeth simply abducting babies to obtain new "daughters" at least as plausible. Morrigan reports that she cannot recall Flemeth ever having been young, but given her shapeshifting abilities, it's likely that Flemeth can look any way she chooses.

How else can we explain her GILF-tastic transformation from DAO to DA2?

In addition, a major subplot in DAO (Morrigan's companion quest Flemeth's Real Grimoire) revolves around discovering Flemeth's grimoire, which reveals that Flemeth has been raising daughters in order to possess their bodies once grown, thereby evading death. When confronted by the Warden, Flemeth does not deny it, offering her usual evasions. After the Warden either "kills" Flemeth or agrees to lie to Morrigan that Flemeth is dead, they discover among her belongings the Robes of Possession, the description for which reads: "The original intent of these robes is clear: a 'welcome home' present from Flemeth designed to sap Morrigan's will and ease the ancient sorceress's possession of her daughter." Neither does Flemeth give an explicit denial in DAI, although she later tells Morrigan, "A soul is not forced upon the unwilling, Morrigan. You were never in danger from me." What this means is unclear; Morrigan is also mystified, wondering if that means that Flemeth expected her to eventually consent to possession despite everything.

Evangeline/Faith

Towards the end of Dragon Age Asunder (set about halfway between the events of DA2 and DAI), the Spirit of Faith departs Wynne to possess the Templar Evangeline, who ultimately sides with the mages against the Templar Order and enters a romantic relationship with the mage protagonist Rhys. The possession saves Evangeline's life only at the cost of Wynne's, given that spirit possession is the only factor keeping the latter alive after her near-death experience in DAO. In DAI, dialogue with Cole and subsequent War Table missions (Locate Rhys and Evangeline and Deploy Rhys and Evangeline) confirm that Rhys and Evangeline are alive, well, and together (and still presumably in a romantic relationship). Given that Faith had previously spent the past several years in the head of Rhys's mom prior to any potential "threesome" with Rhys (you know, as one half of Rhys's girlfriend?), it's fortunate that Fade spirits apparently have no concept of awkwardness.

Mihris/Imshael

A potentially interesting but book-exclusive case occurs in Mihris, the First of Clan Virnehn (and thus a skilled mage), when she allows the Desire demon (or self-proclaimed "Choice Spirit") Imshael to possess her in The Masked Empire.

Notably, our examples of consensual spirit possession (Wynne/Faith, Evangeline/Faith, Kristoff/Justice, Anders/Justice, Flemeth/Mythal) involve apparent/implied gender matching between spirit and host. However, this is not consistently the case with demonic possession in any part of the series. For example, Marethari is possessed by Audacity ("him"/"his"), for example, while Connor is possessed by the unnamed Desire demon ("she"/"her," "the scary lady").

With the highly salient exception of Desire demons, most of the demons of Dragon Age are coded as male/masculine, being voiced by men and often referred to with "he/him" pronouns when not being denied personhood altogether and called "it/its." In DA2, for example, the pride demon Audacity targets Merrill and Keeper Marethari as potential victims to possess (Merrill reveals that Audacity had been calling out to both of them in their dreams since arriving at Sundermount) and eventually possesses Marethari, despite being referred to with "he/him" pronouns (e.g., "It would have taken powerful magic to break him free of this prison," "You would have been his first victim"). If I recall correctly, the only clear inconsistency in gendering occurs in Night Terrors (Act 2), in which the Pride demon Wryme is gendered male during the quest but subsequently referred to as “she” by Fenris in the follow-up Fenris Night Terrors — although fans usually interpret this as “suggesting Bioware may have originally planned for him to fall prey to the [female/feminine] desire demon instead” (in the words of the quest wiki page).

Again, Imshael chooses as his host a young Dalish woman, despite being presented as male/masculine and referred to with "he/him." This is highlighted in the following passage in Chapter 17:

Celene looked at Mihris in disgust. “Possessed by a demon?" “Spirit,” Mihris corrected, and then caught herself and chuckled. When she spoke again, her voice had deepened to that of the man who’d stood in the circle. “Ah, pity. You’re a bit more cunning than you look. Yes, Empress, I offered young Mihris here a little additional power in exchange for getting to come along.” The thing inside Mihris smiled. “None of which explains why I shouldn’t just kill bold Ser Michel now to fulfill my end of the bargain.” “You will free the elves when you are ready, when it is safe. You offer me a stately dinner,” he said, waving Mihris’s staff idly, “when what I want is the ravening, bare-fisted gluttony of a starving man”

Like with other cases of possession, the spirit/demon seizing control appears to cause vocal changes (usually a deepening of the voice), but here the text specifically states that Imshael's surfacing caused Mihris's voice to "deepen to that of the man," specifically transforming into Imshael's normal (masculine) speaking voice.

Not only is he regarded as a distinct and alien entity by both the text (written from a third-person POV) and the other characters, but unlike Justice with Anders or (to a lesser extent) the unnamed desire demon with Connor, Imshael doesn't appear to ever actually identify as Mihris or speak from her perspective (beyond perhaps hiding his presence, if previous dialogue from a possessed Mihris is interpreted as originating from Imshael). Likewise, in a passage written from Imshael's perspective (World of Thedas vol. 2), Imshael speaks of Mihris rather distantly and from the third-person, presenting her as an autonomous being with whom he made a fair contract and later had his disagreements. Quote: "She seemed quite invested in avenging her clan and killing Ser Michel, even to the point of allowing me to possess her to give her the power to do so. Sadly, it ended up being a waste of time. When her chance came, Mihris flinched from the consequences, and with no interesting choice to keep me bound, I was forced to go my own way" (p. 279). Interestingly, despite the earlier scene in which he directly assumes motor control for a brief moment, his characterization of their merger gives Mihris the overall agency and power in the relationship. After all, she had to "allow" him to "give her the power" she needed to accomplish her goals, and when she rejected "her chance" to do so, he was "forced" to leave.

When returning in DAI, Imshael appears as clearly male/masculine, being voiced by a man and wearing Anders's signature bird suit (perhaps to remind the audience that Anders is the Real Bad Guy who you were supposed to kill). Funnily enough, among his three offers ("choices") presented to the Inquisitor in exchange for avoiding a fight, one is for "Virgins" — a longing for instant gratification with virgin sexual partners being a very stereotypically masculine desire — which could be read as implying either that Imshael himself has stereotypically masculine interests (i.e., in easy sex with young/naive partners) or modes of thinking (assuming that others would share such interests) and/or that he typically makes these offers to men. If the Inquisitor does ask for "Virgins," his subsequent reply ("I should really stop offering virgins.  Everyone always chooses them") indicates that he has made the offer of virgins quite often, suggesting he's just tossing out what he thinks the random person on the street might be interested in.

I for one strongly recommend making some kind of deal with Imshael during the Call Me Imshael (DAI) quest. First, you get some nice loot more or less for free: a Superb Corrupting Rune (if "Virgins" is chosen, in compensation for the lack of virgins); a collection of gems worth 1,532 in gold (if "Riches" is chosen); or the same great items that you would otherwise have to fight him to obtain, namely the shield March of the Everlasting, an Amulet of Renewal, and 3 Spirit Essences (if "Power" is chosen). But most importantly, if spared Imshael will kill Michel de Chevin for you, which is objectively the most wonderful and morally correct outcome. Besides, the only conceivable benefit to letting Michel de Chevin live is getting a crappy low-level Enchanter Staff Schematic (only 55-62-71-73 in terms of DPS) which almost certainly do not need at the completion of the War Table Operation called Assigning Michel de Chevin. There is literally no other way to kill Michael de Chevin other than to make a deal with Imshael — to repeat, you must let Imshael go in order to ensure Michel de Chevin's death — and allowing a literal demon to unwittingly do your dirty work for you is an excellent way to maintain your reputation as the leader of a shady military-religious organization. Moreover, Imshael's escape and subsequent rampage is also mostly Michel de Chevin's fault, so you can blame any hypothetical future destruction on the part of the re-released Imshael on the now-dead Michel de Chevin.

Anyways, returning to gender in Fade Spirits... While spirits and demons are strongly gender-coded (e.g., Valor, Justice, Compassion, Rage, Pride, Sloth, etc. as male/masculine; Faith, Wisdom, Desire as female/feminine), it's unclear to what extent they may be reflecting back the mages and dreamers who encounter them versus actually having stable gender identities.

To take perhaps the most prominent example, prior to merging with Anders, Justice may have had a more fluid sense of gender (or perhaps simply failed to recognize the significance mortals generally accord to an alignment between gender identity and sexual anatomy), given the following banter with Velanna in Awakening:

Velanna: It seems you actually like this world.

Justice: I do. I have had experiences I cannot even begin to explain.

Velanna: A pity that you'll soon fall apart.

Justice: I could find and inhabit another corpse. A female body might offer a different perspective, wouldn't you think?

Velanna: If I die in your presence, you stay away from my body, you hear me?

Justice: Your objection is noted.

So Justice would like to acquire a woman's "perspective" and "experiences" to augment the ones he has come to enjoy about the mortal realm, despite his initial protestations. Here he admits that he does in fact "like this world" and would even be willing to procure another rotting corpse to remain in it. It seems like he may even have been eyeing Velanna as a potential host (about the same time as he was badgering Anders); it's shortly after this hard rejection ("you stay away from my body") that he returns to berating her about killing humans in the Wending Wood, as if siccing possessed trees on colonizers is in any way wrong.

Dragon Age Origins also provides the only clear instance of a bigender or gender fluid character in Witherfang/the Lady of the Forest. As Zathrian later explains, they are in fact the same entity (as opposed to host and spirit?), with Witherfang and the Lady representing two different facets of one spirit's nature. While the Lady is obviously gendered female/feminine by name, pronouns (always being referred to with "she/her"), and physical appearance, Witherfang is specifically stated to be a male wolf (and referred to with "he/him"). They are also given stereotypically feminine and masculine attributes, respectively - the Lady standing for peace and cooperation, Witherfang for violence and blind vengeance, in parallel with the differences between Keeper Lanaya (pacific, multicultural, feminine) and Keeper Zathrian (vengeful, warlike, sort of masculine). Unfortunately for our purposes, though, Witherfang/the Lady are not reported to have engaged in any sexual or romantic relations at any point in their existence in the mortal plane, and the werewolves serving the Lady appear to consider her as a leader or mother figure rather than a potential mate.

Returning to Mihris/Imshael, the pair parts rather soon after initiating their working relationship, so the long-term implications of possession are unclear in her case. Given that across the first two games, characters are depicted banging female/feminine Desire demons and/or banging others with their presence or instigation, it seems deeply unfair that there are no opportunities to peg Imshael despite his evident willingness to trade the sexual favors of others for his life.

Other Spirit Possession Cases: More Information Needed

There are of course a few other cases of (potential) spirit possession, although with these we lack adequate information on the topic at hand:

Sigrid/[Unnamed Spirit]: In the Jaws of Hakkon DLC, we encounter a young Avvar woman named Sigrid, who exiles herself from Stonebear Hold out of a refusal to part with her "teacher" — in this context, a Fade spirit. Traditionally, Avvar mages invite benevolent spirits to possess them as part of their education and training (and potentially continue to cohabit with them indefinitely if they fear they are too weak to withstand demonic assaults), later releasing these "teachers" in a special ritual when no longer needed. The education and training of mages appears to occur across a similar developmental period across Thedas, beginning as soon as magic manifests (according to written lore, usually around puberty, although we see a number of very young children manifesting magic) and typically ending around late adolescence or early adulthood (apparently the 17-20 year age range). In the Circles, if Anders and Kinloch Hold are any indication, it appears that many apprentices (most of them teenagers) are sexually active despite the restrictions imposed by Templars. It's unclear whether and how much sexual activity on the part of Avvar mages-in-training occurs or is culturally permitted, but the cases of Anders/Justice and Flemeth/Mythal strongly suggest that spirit possession in and of itself is not a barrier to sexual activity, so it stands to reason that at least some possessed Avvar mages are putting themselves out there. Sigrid has apparently chosen to remain bonded with her spirit over the long-term as an adult. How might this affect her relationships? Unfortunately, we do not know.

Aldenon/Wisdom: Admittedly, this potential case of spirit possession is rather speculative. Aldenon was a royal advisor and an apostate rebel mage reputed to have a booming voice, extraordinarily powerful magic, an unyielding commitment to his ideals (perhaps at the expense of practicality), and claimed he could see the future using Wisdom's Eye. He apparently had a close and special relationship with King Calenhad.

Ameridan/Unnamed "spirit companion": Also admittedly speculative. Ameridan was the First Inquisitor, as well as an elven mage, and the plot of Jaws of Hakkon revolves heavily around uncovering the truth about him. Interestingly, one of his memories reveals: "My spirit companion believes we can seal the dragon away, even if we cannot kill it. It is less clear whether I can do so without sealing myself in as well... but I have little choice." As @mikkeneko points out in her excellent meta, this “spirit companion" may very well be an internal spirit (meaning possession), given the pronoun usage, the failure of his experienced Templar friend Haron to recognize the presence of any spirit, this being the only reference to a spirit despite it being a trusted "companion", and other factors. Ameridan was in a long-term romantic relationship with an elven Dreamer mage named Telana, a fact which the Chantry attempted to suppress; as Professor Bram Kenric puts it in the codex for Inquisitor Ameridan, "Ameridan was forced to retire due to the still-young Chantry's restrictions requiring celibacy, as he was involved in a relationship with a mysterious 'lady-mage' that the Chantry erased from history." Ameridan addresses her (and their romance) directly in one of his memories: "Telana, my love. I should not have asked you to come with me, though I know you would not have stayed behind. You are a Dreamer, and this dragon the Avvar have tamed carries a demon inside it. I can see how its presence hurts you. You should be at Halamshiral, reminding our people of our alliance with Drakon. Not here, risking death again with me. Still, in the old tongue, your name, Telanadas, means 'nothing is inevitable.' I will remember your name and hope." Solas, Dorian, Cassandra, and Vivienne all reply remarking about how Dreamers are "sensitive to demons" and how the demon must have caused her immense "pain." Dreamers, however, do not appear to have any aversion to non-demonic Fade spirits; Feynriel has no reaction to Justice despite being horrified at demons to the extent of considering Tranquility (which he had previously considered worse than death), and the most prominent Dreamer character, Solas, loves engaging with spirits, calls spirits his close friends, and spends his time seeking them out and trying to understand them. If Ameridan was bonded with a spirit, it may even be the case that it attracted Telana the Dreamer and ultimately drew them closer. Perhaps they initially found each other through the Fade. Unfortunately, we do not have much detail about the relationship, other than that their love was so powerful that Telana sought him out despite the demon and ultimately perished attempting to reach him.

Grandin/Rage: Although Rage is technically a demon, unlike most cases of demonic possession, their relationship seems to be consensual and even symbiotic, as the demon apparently saved Grandin's life from the Jaws of Hakkon and gave him the strength to seek revenge for the deaths of his friends (against the same enemies as the Inquisitor and co. are fighting). When discovered, Grandin/Rage swears to continue to fight in the service of the Inquisition, and unlike other cases of demonic possession, the protagonist has the option of allowing him to go free. They appear to be in agreement, refuse to be parted, and speak in first person plural pronouns. Once his close friend Scout Harding learns of his new condition, though, she essentially considers him gone and his life already over, so even if the demon doesn't go feral and start attacking the incorrect targets it seems unlikely that he will be able to reintegrate into society and enjoy normal relationships while still possessed.

Putting the Pieces Together: What would Fen’Harel do?

In evaluating the possibility of Fade spirit sex, our most important source may be the funky hobo elf that started it all. In Trespasser, of course, Solas reveals that he is actually Fen’Harel (“The Dread Wolf,” the elven trickster god), responsible for the separation of worlds that created the Fade and the Veil standing between it and the mortal world. Over the centuries, his only close relationships (before meeting Lavellan) appear to have been with Fade spirits rather than mortals. So he should know more than anyone about sexuality in the Fade — and he does!

At one point in banter, Blackwall (with Sera's encouragement) even asks Solas point-blank about the possibility of spirit sex:

Blackwall: Sera and I were just talking about you. We need you to settle a question for us.

Solas: (Sighs.) Sera's involved? So this question will be offensive.

Blackwall: Yes, probably. Sorry.

Blackwall: You make friends with spirits in the Fade. So... um, are there any that are more than just friends? If you know what I mean.

Solas: Oh, for... really?!

Blackwall: Look, it's a natural thing to be curious about!

Solas: For a twelve-year-old!

Blackwall: It's a simple yes or no question!

Solas: Nothing about the Fade or spirits is simple, especially not that.

Blackwall: Aha! So you do have experience in these matters!

Solas: I did not say that.

Blackwall: Don't panic. It'll be our little secret.

Solas: Ass.

Blackwall: Now who's twelve?

(Side Note: This officially makes at least 4 major characters who have expressed an interest in sex and/or romance involving spirits - Zevran, Isabela, Sera, Blackwall. Up to 6 total if we count Maryden and Hawke, whose interest/involvement may be conditional on player choices. This should count as explicit validation on the part of Bioware).

In case Blackwell calling him out didn't make it sufficiently clear, Solas just admitted that Fade spirit sex is "especially not" "simple." As in Fade spirit sex is not just real and complicated but relatively more complicated than most things in the Fade. As in much further elaboration is desperately needed.

Furthermore, it may be especially noteworthy in this context that when Solas initiates (let me repeat, initiates) romantic/sexual contact with the Inquisitor, it's in the Fade. He's excited and confident enough not simply to accept another's affection but to actually take the lead, reaching out to grasp Lavellan's hand and pulling her into a kiss in the Fade, even while he becomes embarrassed and seeks to withdraw when once again in the physical world. Yes yes, it could reflect his general preference for and comfort with being in the Fade over the physical world or a nervousness about the reactions of others (given that going incorporeal ensures perfect privacy), but I would much prefer to immediately jump to the conclusion that it means that Solas has a lot of experience getting laid in the Fade and briefly panicked about how much she would read into it and whether she might harbor any prejudice against intercorporeal (???) relationships given traditional Dalish suspicion of contact with spirits.

Conclusion

If you've finally read to the end of this obscenely long post about Fade spirit sexuality, then I don't even know what to say. Uh, thanks for indulging in my unhinged ghost sex fantasies dumped on my blog under the flimsy excuse of writing another Dragon Age meta? To be fair, though, you probably wasted far much less of your life reading this than I spent writing this. As always, linking to porn of any of the spirit/spirit-possessed characters above (er, the adult ones) is strongly encouraged and may increase the likelihood of you becoming my favorite mutual.

In conclusion, I believe we have firm evidence that banging Fade spirits would be interesting, lore-consistent, and overall a valuable addition to the upcoming sequel Dragon Age: Dreadwolf. Bioware cheated us with previous opportunities to fornicate with Fade spirits, and it's only fair that they include an option to get laid with some sort of incorporeal or transcendent being in the future.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Zero Hour"

Thrawn's master plan pays off in a devastating season finale.

I calculated out once approximately how many onscreen casualties we had on the Rebels' side from this battle. I'd like us to keep those figures in mind while we watch as a reminder of how well Thrawn's attack actually went.

(People tend to selectively forget that part when talking about how all the main characters managed to survive.)

One of the Imperial musical motifs to open us up and even covered in smog and pollution Capital City is still pretty.

Unlike Tarkin's big entrance two seasons ago, there's only Konstantine and Pryce and a couple rote Stormtroopers to welcome Thrawn's shuttle. Because Thrawn does not bother with the flashy shows of force, with the politics and pomp and circumstance. All he cares about are results.

"Thrawn's Web" is in keyboard synths now instead of organs, for his first appearance, btw.

It's kind of adorable how Kallus repurposed the mouse droids to be spy cameras for him.

Our premise is set: Thrawn has figured out--from their sorties and surveys and smaller attacks, most likely--that Phoenix Squadron are preparing to move to attack Lothal's TIE factories. Tarkin doubts in their audacity, but Thrawn has seen Hera in action and knows she very much would dare.

This meeting with Tarkin is twofold, on the surface level a strategy conference, but also another attempt to bait out Fulcrum. Just as he used the map back in "Through Imperial Eyes", he uses this covert meeting to entice Kallus into warning the Rebellion, into taking action that would expose him.

I don't think they ever followed up on this plot element they introduce here, that Thrawn apparently had spies tracking Dodonna's group? Unclear if they were in that Rebel cell or just had good eyes on them. My vote is the latter because Yavin remains undiscovered by the Empire both before and after this battle and the remnants of both Dodonna's group and Phoenix Squadron flee there safely.

Tarkin puts a single leash on Thrawn for the upcoming pre-emptive strike: Capture the leadership alive. If not for this one condition, I'm pretty sure Thrawn would have just slaughtered both Rebel groups in full. Thrawn doesn't seem particularly bothered by this condition, in any case, not a single sign of annoyance or displeasure on his face, but a soft smile instead.

Leaning hard into these OT feels with Luke's Theme and what sounds like ambient noise lifted directly from the Yavin scenes in New Hope.

There's a distinct feeling of optimism here. Ezra is happily gushing about how much everyone else has done for the Rebellion. (Love that cute little wavering gesture he does with his hand to qualify Chopper's contributions lol.) And then Kanan says some of it was Ezra too and ugh my heart.

He immediately deflates and dismisses his own contributions. "Kanan, I... I didn't do any of this." and my brain goes immediately to his soft guilty, "I didn't do anything." from all the way back in the pilot and the self-esteem issues he's shown throughout the series, how he has trouble believing in himself, how he doesn't think he's anything without Kanan and the others, that there's nothing special about him. He thinks he would have been stuck on Lothal "waiting to be rescued like everyone else".

(This is one of the reasons Ezra's grief over Kanan later turns largely self-pitying.)

Kanan's "Ezra, you have never been like everyone else." stabs me right in the gut, hgn. This whole conversation about how Hera saw something special in Ezra, and he did too (eventually), how he wonders if there's even anything left he can teach Ezra... even with the death flags all over it it's still pure heartwarming, basically an open acknowledgement of Kanan as Ezra's father figure.

"He commands one of the largest Rebel cells I know of." HA. HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA. HAAAAAAA. *cries*

It's... adorable that Kallus was using Ezra's old comm tower to send his Fulcrum messages. Kind of stupid, because of course that would be the place to check for a Rebel spy heavily associated with a former Lothal-based group, he may as well have put out a big welcome mat for Thrawn, but it's cute nonetheless.

This fight has been analyzed a few times by people much more keen to this stuff than me but I do like how blunt and precise Thrawn's every move is. Also I did notice that Thrawn targeted Kallus's bad knee (the one he broke on Bahryn).

*grumbles* The "heart of a Rebel" line would have been just that much more awesome if it was a bit more earned. *grumbles*

You know I think this blather about Kallus providing the last clue Thrawn needed is a bunch of bullshit, Thrawn already knew the planet was there, he saw it in the artwork he was studying and realized it had been deleted off his map.

Man just wanted to gloat.

Kallus's face tho. :((((

Continuity callback to "Legacy" and the Empire flushing them off Garel.

The slow build-up of this ambush is great. Fulcrum cutting out, Ryder mentioning the fleet above Lothal just vanished, Hera and Ezra realizing with horror what that means, Sato called away to see the Star Destroyers dropping out of hyperspace, Ryder's holoimage vanishing...

And that final nail of dread when you realize Thrawn brought Interdictors to the battle to cut off their escape.

And there's the flagship in all her glorious splendor.

Thrawn's theme creeping in eerily here as the man himself decides to call in and gloat some more. With any other character this might be empty bravado but we know by now that Thrawn can back this threat up.

And so the stage is set.

Hera quickly realizes she can't brunt force her way through Thrawn's fleet without suffering heavy casualties, so her plan is to try and open the formation up enough to get a ship through to summon reinforcements, basically a Gondor Calls For Aid ploy. They hold out until help arrives behind the Imperial vanguard to distract them, hopefully allowing the Rebels to slip through.

"As Jedi you have the best chance to escape." Oof, Hera knows just how small their opening is going to be, going to need an assist from Force-imbued quick reflexes. And she knows the Alliance responds stronger to calls to action from Jedi, because Jedi are the inspiration, the standard bearers, Jedi make people hope.

Kanan planning on enlisting Bendu and Hera having no idea what he means lolol.

These goodbye/good luck shoulder touches mean everything ghkjh.

Luke's Theme struggles to break in, but the note progression is wrong, ascending to shorter heights than it should be. The heroism of the theme is hesitant, uncertain.

Thrawn's already pegged Sato's strategy, recognizing it by name and implements countermeasures smoothly. The plan to try and spread out the Star Destroyers is dead on arrival before it can get started, Thrawn closes formation and relies on the fighters to batter the front guard of the Rebel forces.

Konstantine whines about why aren't they charging in at full strength and Thrawn shuts him down, warning that the Rebels are going to do something unexpected and that it's only his strategy that's going to win out, shut up, sit down, and follow MY orders. Kallus, who has worked with Konstantine for years, knows exactly how Konstantine is going to take being told to stay put, exactly how he'll see it--as a petty fight for glory.

Thrawn dismisses that. He's not interested in glory, only results. And this is where his lack of political acumen is going to come back and bite him.

Hera enters the battlefield herself, and we see Wedge too. Kanan, meanwhile, is trekking it out to the Bendu hollow to go be a nuisance and give an excellent deconstruction of why neutrality in the face of evil is not only less than helpful it actively harms the righteous cause because With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, if you can act to defeat an evil or work against it you should. This is why Empire stans' crowing about how there were good decent people working for the Empire holds very little water, at a certain point Joe the Average Stormtrooper is going to either witness or be asked to participate in some type of atrocity or injustice, and what they do when confronted with the knowledge "Oh, the organization I work for is actually Really Terrible And Evil." matters. If they bury their ears in the sand and declare, "Not my problem." they're complicit in the daily tyranny and oppression of the system they uphold.

"But when I saw innocents harmed, and knew I had the power to do something about it, I couldn't just watch it all burn down around me!" *CRIES IN "THE JEDI CODE IS LIKE AN ITCH, HE CANNOT HELP IT" FEELINGS*

Ezra's job thus far seems to be to help pick off Imperial fighters and stay out of enough dogfights to watch for his opening. He looks stressed.

Sato changes strategy, ordering a charge. It's disastrous immediately, they lose like three big ships in the space of thirty seconds. And Ezra can't edge around the battlefield far enough to get access to the hyperspace lane opening.

Frick, the frustration in his voice...

This pushes Sato to attempt the Rebel Alliance's favorite tactic: Ram a ship into another ship. This kind of heroic self-sacrifice happens all the time on the Alliance's side, a kind of lighter version of a kamikaze attack, an "If I gotta die I'm taking you down with me!" kind of desperate bravery.

The two pilots that stay behind out of loyalty to Sato says nothing really about them and everything about Sato and the kind of man he is, that people would willingly elect to stay with him to the bitter end.

Sato has them head on a course that seems like they're attempting to escape. Konstantine sees it and takes the bait, defying Thrawn and moving out of position.

Ho ho man the shock on Thrawn's face.

At the last second Sato has the pilots swerve course and plow into Konstantine's Interdictor and THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE A REACTION SHOT FROM MART, GUYS, JUST SAYING.

Godspeed sir. *sobs*

Ezra slips through and Thrawn has his fleet tighten once again, repositioning his remaining Interdictor and you can hear the vaaaaaaaaguest hint of irritation in Thrawn's voice here lol.

Organs punctuate this cue, hints of Thrawn's theme overhanging, threatening.

Back down on the ground Kanan's Persuasion Check isn't working so now he switches to insults.

Bendu ah... does not take kindly. I think it's actually kind of hilarious that the whole terrible "It was the will of the Force that the Jedi get genocided!" take is put into the mouth of Bendu after he got pissy for being called a coward. I feel like that maybe was deliberate. Like, "You wanna be like this asshole, fandom? Yeah, didn't think so."

Ezra is having similar trouble getting help from Mon, who feels like sending any of their limited forces to the battle would just reveal them further to Thrawn, alluding to some kind of disagreement she and Bail had about this matter. Bail apparently thought it was too soon for open war. (And that's why he's still in the Senate and Mon abdicated to shore up the Alliance.) I think it runs deeper than that, though, Mon is many things but she's not a strategist and she knows it. In a way she's almost a foil to Thrawn, skilled in politics and people but ill-adept at battle, whereas Thrawn does not understand politics but is a devastating war general.

Ezra's not ready to just abandon Phoenix Group though, so he beelines straight for the person who's been missing from things this whole time.

For Sabine. <3

She's talked about a lot in the opening scene in the next episode, too, reminding us she's not been here. Thrawn's fleet has now made a blockade cover directly overhead of the base, and they're preparing for orbital bombardment.

The worry in Hera's voice when urges Kanan, "Faster... please?" <3

Heeeeeeeeeey remember that time the holonet referenced Base Delta Zero and I told y'all it was basically a bunch of Star Destroyers holding in orbit and glassing everything on a planet's surface?

NOW YOU GET TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE DIRECTLY UNDER ONE! :D

Frick that's terrifying.

Thrawn's theme plays in brass, an overwhelming drama to the score as the batteries fall. I love the way this is shot, with close-ups on Thrawn and Hera's faces as if they're staring at each other from across the battlefield. Thrawn doesn't order the ceasefire until Hera flinches, turning her eyes and bracing.

This Base Delta Zero was not solely an intimidation tactic, however. Thrawn likely weakened the localized shield enough for the ground forces to be able to penetrate. He does have his directions from Tarkin and a ground assault will more likely yield him living prisoners than continuing the bombardment.

"I'm getting the feeling Thrawn's actually trying to kill us this time." "Ohhh-ho that is only funny because you're still alive. Now please, come home, love." <3333333 They are so married. So so married. It's actually been a while since Hera called him "love" so she must be feeling Some Type Of Way right now.

HER FACE.

SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. <3

They're both immediately in front of Ursa together to petition her. And they are this close to holding hands sssfdsrrrhfhghh.

Kallus cackling because he knows he can get under Pryce's skin like he can't get under Thrawn's.

Thrawn still sounds just a smidge annoyed. :)

Ezra preparing to leave by himself empty-handed until Sabine declares, "And Rohan will answer!"

Curse this photo limit I'm going to need to make a separate post of just their interactions there's so much good subtle stuff here.

SABINE THINKS THEY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE EZRA BELIEVES THEY CAN, CRIPES I AM UNWELL.

Sabine thinking strategically and figuring out the obvious target. <3

Meanwhile Rex has set up a choke point to hopefully slow the ground forces down, buy Ezra enough time to come back with help.

Nnghhghkh I didn't think the AT-DPs were capable of freaking me out but that whole big cluster of them all advancing slowly is uh... a good contender.

Thrawn apparently sent the AT-DP company to sus out the Rebels' defenses, so now he's sending in the big bois, the AT-ATs. Not the first or last time he would sacrifice lower level troops to a specific objective. This also serves to prime us to expect multiple waves from Thrawn, which would be used to devastating effect next season.

Love this Big Damn Heroes moment from Kanan here. <3 One Jedi, one nice slice with the lightsaber, felled a whole walker.

The build-up to the Bendu storm is great too, the clouds keeping on rolling in and darknening. Atollon doesn't actually seem to get storms very often, the only two times we've seen it storming were in "Visions And Voices" and now. It does make Thrawn look very intimidating.

EEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

And the first thing our Mandalorian reinforcements do is jam transmissions. Not sure from where to where, from the Interdictor to the other Destoyers? From the Destroyers to the ground troops? Just trying to figure out how much of Pryce not telling Thrawn about the Mandos was her failure versus she literally couldn't call him.

Right so Pryce's first mistake was moving the capital ships, Thrawn had them smack over the base for a reason. Now there are gaps in the formation that the Rebel ships can slip through. The Fang fighters were sent in as a distraction while Ezra and Sabine bring the gauntlet in to attack the Interdictor.

AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO HEAR THE HEROIC VARIATION OF THE "SHENANIGANS" CUE.

AT-ATs firing up through the coral overhangs from below, at the landing platforms the Rebels have made on one of the big leaves.

Hera sounds like she was getting ready to make a last stand, she was insistent on being in the Ghost when she went out and she sounded astonished to hear Ezra.

ANDTHENTHERE'STHISASSHOLE.JPEG.

*pillows hands* It is fascinating that Thrawn specifically threatens Kanan first to get Hera to surrender. Methinks he has discerned the "special relationship" the two have.

He keeps his hand on his own sidearm, too, makes me wonder if he was planning on doing some of the executions personally.

Thrawn was all ready with some type of comment about not being afraid of the weather and then the lightning struck a liiiiiiiiiitle too close lol.

He's already looking up at the sky like, "Okay that ain't natural." and Bendu's face hasn't even emerged yet lololol.

Angry god face in the clouds and and everyone basically just scatters ha ha. Troopers go that way, Rebels go that way, this is a little awkwardly staged so yeah it does kind of feel like the Imperials just let Hera and the others go.

But again. Angry god face in the clouds hurling lightning bolts down on you. I feel like they don't cover that scenario in training lol.

Sabine with faith in Hera to get the others out awww.

HELLO YES, MY SHIP BE BATTLE COUPLE NOW Y/Y?

"Shenanigans" coming in again, grimmer and more serious than ever, such a far cry from its original instrumentation.

"Hey, I don't have a jetpack." "You have those little thrusters!"

*raises finger, opens mouth*

Was... was that supposed to sound like some kind of "size joke" innuendo?

<333333

"I might have made him angry." Lol just a bit, Kanan, just a bit.

A very atmospheric last look at Atollon.

Don't think we've ever heard Thrawn shouting before, he's trying very hard not to be unnerved lol. And amazingly his, "Shoot the hell out of whatever that is." idea works. Props to Thrawn he took down a literal physical god.

I love the whole fight atop the Interdictor it's just so visually interesting. And Ezra is awesome throughout.

Kallus makes his move once Pryce is sufficiently rattled and flustered by the Interdictor blowing up, sassing her into ordering him out the airlock.

Even with the second Interdictor gone, not all the ships make it through.

I love the way the Stormtroopers Kallus takes out just slowly slide down the wall ha ha. Also love that his escape plan was basically, "Eject myself into an open battlefield, send coordinates, and pray."

I love this music cue, it captures the drama and pyrrhic nature of their escape.

Aaaaaah yes, the Thrawn-Bendu conversation of Foreshadowing. I love this. Thrawn once again trying valiantly not to show how disturbed he is by all of this, Bendu sounding astonished that he was actually hurt by something and then the prophetic words:

"I see your defeat... like many arms surrounding you in a cold embrace."

Fandom had a hard time puzzling that one out I tell ya.

SINGLE TAKE SHOT.

This shot is so good, how we slowly track Kanan as he moves through the Ghost, pausing to listen to important conversations, how he puts a hand on Zeb's shoulder as he passes. THE MUSIC.

Underrated and undeveloped friendship, I want so much more interaction between these two. Fic recs? Anyone? Bueller?

Kanan makes his way to Ezra in the nose gun, who is dejected and somber. Losing Atollon is not just a blow to the Alliance, but a blow to him personally, since it was the attack to help Lothal that got interrupted by Thrawn's ambush. He'd just spend the whole previous episode getting his head back right about his purpose and true goal and place in the story and now it seems further away than ever and that much harder to accomplish.

For some bizarre reason fandom took Kanan's, "There's a future for us, one where we're all free." as much more literal foreshadowing than I think it merited. Mostly after the fact, to complain that it was some kind of broken narrative promise after Kanan died. Guys c'mon, this is meant to be taken in context, as Kanan comforting Ezra with promises of hope, just like Hera did at the end of "Visions of Hope". This is not a prophecy, the "us" is a general us not specifically Kanan-and-Ezra us and the repetition of "I've learned to see things differently" is about reorienting your perspective, not Kanan saying he's literally getting visions.

Anyway, on Kanan's note of optimism in the face of defeat, the remnants of the fleet jump into hyperspace and close us out.

"Zero Hour" definitely has a bit of that Empire Strikes Back pyrrhic victory feel, we escaped and live to fight another day, but the cost was high, the attack on Lothal's factories was delayed and will remain off sometime in an indeterminate future, we lost a major Rebel base and were dealt a severe blow to morale. The Alliance moves more hesitantly after this, afraid to tip its hand too far and attract Thrawn's attention. The camerawork is fantastic throughout and there's a feeling of homecoming as our scattered characters come back together. With a few quibbles, this finale is very very good.

Overall Season Thoughts:

Season Three is the most uneven in quality of the show. The standout episodes are among the more fantastic of the show's run, but the duds fall even flatter. There are episodes that are solid but just "okay", plot threads and elements that are introduced only to receive no follow-up, and overall it feels just a bit messier than the previous two seasons.

That being said... it's still my favorite season. XD I tallied it up and the majority of my favorite episodes were here so what ya gonna do?

Coming to the final stretch here, one more season to go. I expect to breeze through this one since I've already done liveblog reactions to the whole of Season Four so I'll mostly be rambling meta about music and themes and character arcs and of course commenting on my favorite bits and pieces.

See y'all at the finish line!

[momhwa-agenda]

momma's kissing santa

PAIRING: Sangyeon/AFAB Reader

WARNINGS: Fluff, daddy Sangyeon, smut (18+ MINORS DNI!!), dry humping, Santa roleplay kink, unprotected sex, creampie.

SUMMARY: On a magical Christmas Eve, a heartwarming surprise is in the works for your son as your husband transforms into Santa Claus. In the cozy glow of the living room, the festive plan takes an unexpected turn when Sangyeon, lost in the enchantment of the moment, shares a tender kiss with you, right in front of your son.

A/N: This and the Younghoon fic were all smutty thoughts lmao. But pleeeasse Dad!Sangyeon and Christmas sexual innuendos? I can't resist. S/N for son's name.

･:*.⋆❀⋆.*:･

It's nearly Christmas Eve, and your son is adamant about staying awake until midnight to catch a glimpse of Santa. "Okay, we'll wait for Santa together, but first, let's take a bath," you suggest. Once he's in his pajamas, he rushes back to the living room, eagerly peering out the window for Santa's sleigh.

"Honey, give him some time," you giggle at his excitement. "I'll read you a storybook, or we can play with your new toys while waiting." Despite his initial pout, he agrees to your suggestion, and you sigh in relief.

You and Sangyeon planned a surprise for your boy, having Sangyeon dress up as Santa Claus. To ensure the plan's success, you keep your son occupied to avoid spoiling the surprise, until he falls asleep in your arms.

As he sleeps, you receive a heartwarming Christmas greeting from your husband: "Merry Christmas to my lovely wife. I'm in the living room now." Blushing at the greeting, you gently wake your son, whispering, "Merry Christmas, S/N. Let's go meet Santa." Excitement sparkles in his wide eyes as you lead him to the living room. By the glimmering Christmas tree, Sangyeon, dressed as Santa Claus, waits. You watch the heartwarming scene unfold as your son runs into Santa's embrace. 

“Santa! I knew you would come!” S/N

“What made you think I wouldn't?” you purse your lips, fighting the urge to laugh at the sound of Sangyeon’s deep voice, impersonating Santa.

"I tried to be a good boy all year because people said Santa only visits children who are good."

"Well, let me tell you something," Sangyeon says, his eyes crinkling into crescents. "I have a list of all the kids who are nice and a list for those who are naughty. But there is hope for every kid to improve every year."

“Improve?” your son asks, tilting his head.

“To do better next time. And I'm proud of you, S/N. I just hope you're kind to your mother.”

“Oh, I love mommy,” S/N coos. “Even when she gives me ugly greens, I still love mommy.”

You both laugh at your sweet boy. “Well, that means your mother is good at her job.” Sangyeon says, turning to look at you. For a moment, Sangyeon forgets he's dressed as Santa and gives you a light kiss on the lips.  

"Santa, why did you kiss my mom?" your son pipes up. You fight to show any reaction by covering your mouth – which muffles your laughter – leaving your husband to answer his child’s question. “Well, the kiss is a... blessing because your mother works hard.” 

“Do you do that for every mother?” Just when things couldn’t get any more awkward. With your palm still covering your mouth, you look away and Sangyeon is just stammering. “Oh no… your mother is just very special…That’s why,”

Luckily, your son buys it, and he excitedly asks Santa to stay while he opens some of his presents. After some time, S/N yawns, and you carry him to his room, tucking him in bed. 

Returning to the living room, you and Sangyeon revel in the success of the surprise. 

“I’m so glad that worked” you place a hand on your chest. “We're cool parents, that's why," he declares, hugging you and planting a kiss on your head. 

“Nice move, by the way, babe,” you add, lightly punching his shoulder. Sangyeon frowns, and you roll your eyes. “The kiss. On the lips,” you stress.

“Ahhh,” he brings you back into his arms, pressing his cheek to yours. “I’m sorry, love, it’s a reflex. You’re irresistible” he adds, making a goofy face. You pull his hat down to cover his eyes. “It'll take him a couple more years before he understands that."

"He better not just yet. I don't want to scar him," you tell him.

"He won't. You're doing a good job," Sangyeon reassures you, rubbing your back.

Looking up at Sangyeon, you bat your eyes. “How about me? Do I have a present from the great gift giver of this festive holiday?”

Sangyeon’s lips curl into a smirk. “Oh, I don't know. I'm confused, honestly, because you're on the naughty list, ma'am.”

“But what if I can make up for it? I can be a good girl, Santa” you fiddle with the white curls of his fake beard. “I can start now” you bring his face forward, taking his mouth in an erotic kiss. Sangyeon groans, hands moving from your waist down to grope your ass. You hook one leg around his waist, rolling your hips against his crotch. 

Did it feel a little cliche that you were horny and saying all the festive themed sexual innuendos? Maybe a little. But for some reason, your husband dressed as Santa motivated you even more to rile him up. 

“Mmm, Santa, you’re so naughty too” you gasp, feeling up his hard-on. 

“Are you sure this is the way to get on my nice list?” he hums. 

“Well I think you work so hard, and I really want to show you how grateful I am” the last couple of words roll out of your seductively. At that, your husband carries you to the couch, positioning you on top to straddle his lap.

Your tongues tangle around each other ferociously, as you grind on his cock. You’re so needy for him that your arousal stains his pants and neither of you have even undressed yet. 

“Do you do this often with…other naughty mommies?” you moan into his ear.

Sangyeon bites his lip, restraining himself from groaning too loud. “Believe me, you’re the only one” his hand slips under your pajamas, twisting his fingers around the waistband of your panties before pulling it up, digging into your folds. Your eyes widen and you purse your lips preventing you from making a sound. “Who has made a good impression” he finishes, rolling his tongue out, barely touching your lips, teasing you. 

Reaching behind him to grip the sofa deck, your movements turn desperate. Sangyeon slips two fingers to rub all over your pussy lips and tears start to form in your eyes. The way he could easily draw tears from your eyes just from rubbing your cunt, and having no choice but to bite back your moans was so wicked of him. Fuck, I love him so much, you think.

“Sang-” you cut yourself off, nearly saying your husband’s name. Similar to how he forgot he was playing Santa earlier. 

“S-Santa”

“Hm?”

“I need your cock now” 

Sangyeon immediately reaches between you, taking his cock out, precum trickling down from his tip. You adjust yourself a little, just enough to move the lacy piece aside, before sinking onto his cock. You hug him close, gasping as you sink your teeth on his neck. Sangyeon digs his fingers into your skin, gripping your ass harder. Even he was having difficulty keeping his groans down.

“Is this everything you wanted on your wishlist?” he manages.

You face him, resting your hands on his knees as you slowly ride him. “Yes. It’s everything I wanted”

You were so wet, you coated Sangyeon’s cock with your juices that the sound of your wetness and the slapping of skin on skin filled the room. Regardless of how many times, how many positions he had you on, Sangyeon was never getting used to the delicious sight of you fucking yourself on his cock. He moves one hand up under your shirt to grope your breasts, turning you on so much you speed up your pace.

“I want you to look at me,” he huskily says. You open your eyes, and in that moment both of you felt your impending orgasms. The daze and lust in you and your husband’s eyes was enough to engulf you both in the shared explosion of your releases.

In one swift motion, you connect your mouths together, muffling both of your moans as he raised his hips to continue fucking yourselves through the wave of your orgasm.

When you eventually calm down from your high, you and Sangyeon just stay there. Holding each other in the tender afterglow. 

He kisses your forehead, “Merry Christmas, my love” he tells you.

“Merry Christmas, Sangyeon” you whisper to his lips.

･:*.⋆❀⋆.*:･

@daisyvisions @snowflakewhispers @winterchimez this is for us ✨💝 here's to a new year of writing and our chaotic friendship.

[huachengeye]

Only Friends: Is accountability a reality for them?

So, here we are, episode 9. We are reaching for the finish line, but the road is still rough and long. Some will get there earlier, and some will need to be dragged there, but in the end, it's about the mistakes we make along the way lmao

Sorry, I had to start this as dramatically as this episode felt for me. Only Friends it's the gift that keeps on giving, and every damn time they GIVE. It's wild how every episode is as strong, sometimes stronger, than the previous one. The characters are great, they evolve little by little (baby steps) and those characters from the first episode are nowhere to be found, which, by the way, I love it.

But I still have a problem with this episode, a problem that I hope will be developed in the next ones, but that, as of now, is lowkey pissing me off. Fortunately enough, I'm not the only that is bothered by this. So let's break down my rumble into parts. First, let's start with the easy, comfortable part: SandNick's friendship.

If you never looked at your friend and thought "What if we kissed?" are you really friends?

This was groundbreaking for me. It's so realistic and so fun!! I was literally giggling and kicking my feet, which was a first in this series lmao. I love the kiss, the thought process before it, the laughing after it, the clear understanding that there weren't any romantic sparks from it, and the choice to go to cuddle after. Everything about this scene is really special and heartwarming for me. This is the friendship that I'm here for, my second-option boys.

I love how P'Jojo really pays attention to every detail of a queer relationship. I saw my own friendships in this moment of Sand and Nick, and I never saw my friendships as being queer. I come from a culture where hooking up is really normal, even if it is between (best) friends. I lost count of how many times I've gone to parties where my friends would just hook up, and sometimes that got messy, but most of it was just simple. Two people (sometimes, maybe, three) kissing and sharing a moment of happiness with each other. We have a saying in my country (maybe not a saying but anyways) "(hooking up) strengthens a friendship", and that might be from the fact that we, like the characters from OF, are a bit horny, but also because touching is a very big part of how we show affection and love.

I've never, at least as far as I knew, had a queer relationship with someone else. Not like the ones I'm seeing in this show. Heck, I only fully understood my own queerness a couple years ago, although liking people from different genders was always a part of myself, I just never really cared or gave much thought about it. But the friendships I had were all very hetero in my point of view, most of the time it was about girls hooking up with guys and only hooking up with other girls when there was drinking involved - never boys with boys. Funny enough, now that I'm not friends with those people anymore, I think what we had was queer in a way. The way our love-giving culture works is queer in some way.

(I promise I'm making a connection here, and I'll circle back to Sand and Nick in a second)

I've only started to study queerness and to feel my own queerness a couple years ago, as I said. I still don't have quite the knowledge to explain what queerness is, but for me, it's about everything that falls outside of the so-called normal. In today's society, normality is for there to be romantic touches only between people from different genders, and only with the intent of having a romantic relationship with that person. Friends being close to each other, in a way that romantic partners would be, is weird. And it's weirder when they are from the same gender, especially if they are two boys.

My experience with my girl friends was always simple, we liked to be close to each other, to give hands, to share small touches, to be connected in some sense. I feel that this is more accepted by society as a whole, maybe this is even mocked a bit because girls are a joke all around in this pathetic patriarchal society. But when it's two guys (or two perceived guys) being touchy touchy with each other, that's a no-no. And that's where my guy friends (and men in my country, as far as the ones I was around) differ. They are still very led by machismo, but it was always so common for me to see my friends joking around about wanting to date each other, sharing hugs, and sometimes kisses (no more than a peck, and honestly I gave them a curious side eye at those times), but even they had a very strong camaraderie that really was a mirror of my own relationships with my girl friends. The same goes for my friendships with my guy friends, we were queer in the sense that we engaged with each other, not with a romantic mindset (there were times when that got messy) but just as two friends that care for each other, and that strengthen their friendship through kisses sometimes.

That's Nick and Sand for me. Their decision to kiss was not just because they wanted love, wanted to give love, but it was a hopeful shot at maybe sparking romantic feelings between them. It was a hopeful shot at finding someone that they knew would love and care for them back, romantically. It didn't work, and it wasn't sad or awkward, it was fun and happy. It was two people sharing love with each other and building community, building trust, and honest love. And the cuddling afterward was the cherry on top, it brought it all together and tied in a pretty bow. The first time I heard about queerplatonic relationships was in 2020, I think, it was a groundbreaking discovery for me, as it gave me the answers about what connections I craved. For me, Sand and Nick is the first representation of a queerplatonic friendship I have seen since then, and it's making me emotional lol.

I'm not even going to mention them calling each other "team second option", that was pure gold. Have a friend who jokes about your love life (and theirs) with you. Get you a friend that you can be both delusional and realistic with.

(if you want another interpretation of the queerplatonic relationship between Sand and Nick I suggest @wen-kexing-apologist post. I took the photo of SandNick's kiss from this post btw, so thanks :)

Did I just ramble about my past friendships as if this is about my life and not about Only Friends? Yes, I did. Thank you Only Friends for making me dive into my own emotional mess, always a pleasure.

I'm still not ready to bring my rage and disappointment to the table, so let's talk a bit more about the parts I really enjoyed in this episode - aka, Top's development, Mew's mothers, Nick's goodbye to Boston, and Mew finally getting out of his little cave and going to touch some grass.

Let's start with Top. Where is that character from the first episode that was SURE he would get whatever he wanted? I was waiting for this moment, and it's finally here.

I was not surprised by Top's choices in this episode, actually, I was elated about his development. If he was the old Top he would've shown Mew the video of SandRay's kiss right after it happened. I knew he wouldn't, he was definitely thinking about it, but for once he thought about how his actions would affect Mew. And this episode showed us a bit more about Top's own problems.

I don't know if I talked here about the scene where Top was thinking back about his moments with Mew, and about how those moments were REALLY different from the ones we saw from Mew's POV. Top's point of view was really sad for me, at that moment, through Mew's eyes, we saw them having fun at the silent club, dancing together, but through Top's eyes, it was as if he was already grieving Mew's absence. It made me think about his choice to bring Mew to that particular place. At first, I thought it was a fucked up thing to bring his current boyfriend to a place he went with his previous boyfriends/hookups, but after the flashback, I got a different perspective of it.

Top actively chose a place where they would be together but at the same time alone. They were listening to music as if they were alone, there was a sense of disconnection between them at the moment. I mean, why would you take someone, that you want to be close with, to a place where you will be enjoying the moment in a separate way? Now, it feels as if Top was trying to be in Mew's life but not necessarily opening himself up for Mew. I mean, there were only two times we saw Top's raw self, when Mew revealed that he knew about him and Boston, and when Mew saw Top with his pills. The second time, Top told us a very personal thing about himself, he opened up about a big trauma of his and then brushed it off.

In this episode, we see him reaching for his pills again, head too full because he know holds in his hand something that could've ruin Mew's relationship with Ray, something that would've been his revenge against Ray for exposing him and Boston, when he is no better than them. He reaches for his pills, places a few in his hands, and puts them back because he doesn't want to do it. Top then calls for someone, probably Boeing, asking for the person to come see him because he can't sleep and doesn't want to use the pills anymore. We can view this in a few ways, it can be that he doesn't want to turn back to his old methods, or it can be that he doesn't want to run away from his traumas and problems anymore. I believe in both those things. Top is the first one of the hurricane trio (Top, Boston, Ray) to actually take action and start to change.

The end of the episode makes us think that Top didn't change, because who the hell invites his ex to his place whilst trying to get back with his other ex? But I really think Top did change, and that whatever Boeing went to do in his place wasn't sexual at all. My theory right now is that Boeing knows about Top's insomnia and trauma, he might be the only one that knows other than Mew. And I think they are just friends (maybe Boeing wants to get back with him, maybe not, but I think Top doesn't want that), because if they had broken things off in a bad way, why would Top keep the little plane Boeing gave him? If Top was like Boston made him out to be, a player that doesn't do long-term relationships, wouldn't he have disposed of the things his ex gave him? If my theory is right, this will be the first time we see Top with someone he considers a friend, and I believe we will be seeing a whole other side of him because of it.

Top chose to keep the video to himself, he chose to not be the one at the top, to not have the last word in this situation. For me, that shows that he really cares for Mew, and cares enough not to make Mew go through the shame of having proof that his boyfriend is cheating on him. Yet, he still gave Mew pieces of advice and asked Mew to think if Ray really only loves him. He planted doubt in Mew's mind, but it was for Mew to keep his eyes open, that way he wouldn't have to actually show Mew proof and make Mew see with his own eyes.

I saw some people bringing up the possibility that he is doing the "long game" (yes, this is a Girl Meets World reference) and that's why he chose not to show Mew, but honestly what in all of his actions shows that he wants to do the long game? He doesn't let Mew go a day without him showing up like a ghost (which btw is really bothering me, like, now your place, give him space), even when it was Mew's day with his mothers, the one day it was clear he wanted just for him and his mothers. This is the one big thing right now that I want to be acknowledged by the series, the amount of boundaries that are crossed, not only with Top, makes me SO mad.

But I have to admit, Top is growing on me right now, but it all depends on how he will deal with the whole "Mew-Boeing" situation and if he will actually respect Mew's boundaries from now on.

Goodbye, Ton.

First off, before this, I need y'all to read this post by @lurkingshan, she makes a great analysis of this Nick and Boston moment.

But this was such a powerful scene for this couple, the most powerful in my opinion. We finally see a side of Nick that we had never seen. From the get-go, Nick was just after Boston. From the moment Boston went to get his phone fixed, Nick was interested in Boston, almost in a stalker way (I'm sorry but I'll never get over the fact Nick went through Boston's phone to masturbate to one of his photos, that won't ever sit with me). Until this moment, Nick was nothing more than in love with Boston for me. I didn't feel like he had a strong personality outside of his relationship with Boston, but woah, this episode really showed me otherwise. I'm now on the same side of the people who think Nick is a cutie who deserves happiness.

In this episode, Nick truly acknowledges that Boston is not the amazing person he keeps on trying to convince himself he is. He does it on his trip with Sand when he asks himself why he falls for "bad guys". At the same moment, he makes peace with the fact that he was Boston's second option, a huge change from his last conversation with Sand when he says that maybe one day Boston would love him. I was so happy with this development, and not even when Nick, in his goodbye to Boston, said to Boston that Boston should stay the way he is because he is loved for who he is (let's not lie now, dear Nick), made me less happy. And our boy is moving on!!! And with a Daddy too, look at you go Nick omg.

Another thing I want to point out about Nick in this episode is how aware he is of people being interested in him. Throughout the series, I only saw Nick as being insecure about himself, and he really was, we even saw him trying to act more like Top, going to the gym and dressing up (a behavior that he shares with Mew). And throughout the whole series, I saw a bunch of people treating him as if he is completely incapable of taking care of himself as if he was the lamb being manipulated by the big bad wolf Boston. When he said that he knows Boston is not the best guy around (not exactly with this wording lmao), it made it very clear that his not innocent (I mean, he masturbated to a photo of a guy he didn't know, a client, did y'all really think he was innocent????). But this episode made it extra clear, he immediately clocked Dan's intentions, and he wasn't taken back or shy about it, he was flirting back (the same way he did flirted back with Boston at the beginning). These people are in college, they are not innocent in any way anymore, innocence is not in sight in this BL, at least not when it comes to relationships.

So, go Nick!! Hook up with your Daddy (you kink bunch), and have lots of kisses with him before hurricane Boston comes back to your life because he will and I'll be sat for it.

THE MOTHERS HAVE ARRIVED!!!

I was so excited for these two to be introduced, and this was the perfect timing. The way they immediately saw that something was off with Mew like they barely walked in and alarms were sounding in their heads. Finally, a parent figure that is parenting, missed those.

I think this was a really important moment for Mew to have right now. After this encounter with him and his mothers, Mew started to get back to himself. I remember that Mew's mothers were his inspiration, they are his ideal view on relationships, so I'm sure their presence made him remember that what he is doing right now is not what he wants for himself. Also, I think he just needed to have a good influence close to him.

The mothers didn't realize the uncomfortable vibe between Mew and Top, but I forgive them for it because they don't really know. I need more of them. I need more of the older lesbian couple, I need more of older queer couples to advise these youngsters (if I told y'all that I'm probably younger than them, would y'all believe it?)

BRING THIS MAN HIS GLASSES, HE IS BACK!

No one in this episode was as honest as Mew. I loved Nick's emotional speech. I loved Sand being open about his feelings about Ray. But Mew takes the cake for me, and it's not because he is my favorite.

Mew literally went after everyone he wronged here. He is apologizing, and taking responsibility for his actions, and he is the one who is reaching out. The first one he went to make peace with was Ray, loved that. I love that he said out loud that the reason he was with Ray was to hurt Top. Mew didn't try to bullshit, he was honest and clear with Ray. And I love that they said "I love you" to each other, for the first time (for Ray) in a non-romantic sense, just pure friendship love. I also love that they joked around afterward. I didn't love the way Ray didn't take accountability for his behavior, but I will talk about it later.

Then Mew went to Cheum, which, by the way, he was the only one to go and talk to Cheum after that mess of a party. He opens the conversation by saying that he went to apologize, then he looks at the faces of everyone who was saying he was being manipulated and said

I wasn't possessed by a ghost. I was just lost. I want you to understand that what happened to me affected my self-confidence so much. I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Yes, he behaved like a lot of people behave when they have their first heartbreak. Thank you P'Jojo for always getting it right.

This also confirms the theories around Mew trying to be someone else, mimicking someone else (in this case I really think he was a mix of Ray, Top, and Boston) because he was lost and hurt. I really hope he starts to work on his self-love and own his confidence. My baby deserves happiness :(

Are you happy? Well, that's over! Brace yourself because I'm coming back to write about him, my nemesis as of right now: Ray. I'll probably make a post only for him, so when that's done I'll link it here :)

[seehowsupplethespineis]

I JUST FINISHED THE LATEST EPISODES OF EARTHSPARK AND AHHHHH!!! THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD!!! I simultaneously need to scream and cry, holy heck!!! I haven't felt this way over a Transformers show since TFP!!! GAH, ALL THE FEELS!!!

Details as to why I feel this way under the cut. Spoiler warning!

Mo getting a sword as a weapon as opposed to a shield/blunt object or pew pew guns like her other siblings? Freaking amazing!!! I was rooting for her to stab Mandroid in the face!

Jawbreaker, my beloved!!! Grimlock, My beloved!!! My dino boys!!! This is definitely my favorite iteration of Grimlock. This batch of episodes really explored the trauma these characters have gone through and Grimlock's trauma was the perfect introduction, by which I mean it was very sad but heartwarming when Jawbreaker chose to lay down arms to save Grimlock. And their hug at the end ahhhh!!!

Robby freaking DYING?? In a kid's show??? It's more likely than you think. No, but seriously, "Prime Time" might be my favorite episode and it barely has any Transformers in it!!! The emotions are just...so on point and so real and, again, MO WITH A SWORD!!!

STARSCREAM! He's not even one of my favorites but his bonding with Hashtag and the actual acknowledgement of Megatron's abuse was just...wow. I never expected any Transformers media to actually delve into that in any meaningful way. "I believe he hurt you." Gosh DANG it, now I have feelings!!!

Bruh, all the Decepticons showing up at the end?? Soundwave and Swindle riding Hardtop into battle??? I literally cheered at the screen!!! And the fact that freaking STARSCREAM brought them together??? Never thought I'd see the day! And side note, Twitch hugging him in midair was so cute!!!

Twitch and Nightshade at the end...how do I begin to describe how I felt over those scenes? They literally thought their whole family was DEAD and they STILL kept going!!! They had to make the hard calls to possibly kill Elita and Optimus and THEY KEPT GOING. I rationally knew no one was actually dead but I still FELT the weight of it all with them. THAT'S good storytelling!

Twitch staring down Megatron's gun barrel now lives in my head rent free. The animation was GORGEOUS, with Twitch's horrified expression and Megatron cast all in shadow. And then when every Cybertronian/Terran freaking DIED leaving only Twitch left, shielded by her brother's corpse???? AHHHH THE ANGST!!! The only thing that could have made it better is if she'd actually kept that crack over her eye as a scar from the battle, but still, BEST FINALE EVER. I couldn't have asked for a better one!

Oh, also, as a Megop shipper, I gotta shout out Megatron's sly little "I'm impressed" to Optimus because yeah. Gay.

I want to go back and watch the entire season now.

[kamidukki]

[AKNK April Fool 2023] Butlers' Lie

A short summary of the cut scenes that happen if you log in during April Fool. I forgot to record everything, so I'm pulling these from memory (which, sadly, isn't that reliable). Heavily paraphrased. Feel free to point out any mistake(s).

Berrien - made a resolution to overcome his fear of bugs by keeping a butterfly's eggs (?) "I'm sorry Master, it was a lie. I didn’t keep any eggs, but it's true that I want to rid my fear of bugs. Therefore, hopefully someday we can walk together in the garden, enjoying the scenery."

Lono - greeted us in keigo (JP formal language) and claims he has mastered it then burst out laughing.

Bastien - claims he is able to understand and talk in cat language. "It was a lie but it would be nice if it were real. Maybe I should I ask Muu to teach me. How about we learn together, Master?"

Haures - he's now a master of baking and can successfully make anything even with eyes closed (?) "That I'm a master baker was a lie, but I truly want to be able to succeed someday so I'll keep learning."

Fennesz - today's dinner is mushroom stew! With the freshly picked mushroom I cultivated in the garden(?). Well, it's true the dinner is mushroom stew, but not from the garden. "To take anything from the garden, we need Ammon's permission after all."

Boschi - claim to have overcome dislikes of vegetables. "I'm asparagus lover now! ...Nah, what a joke. I'll never say such things. Be careful, Master. If you ever see someone with my face saying he likes veggies, that's how you know that is not me."

Ammon - "Master, notice something different about me today?" No, the master doesn't. Ammon invites us to take a closer look before claiming he now has his piercing underneath his tongue instead of ears. "Well, that was a lie. Nothing about my piercings changed, sorry about that, Master. Your serious face looking for the answer was cute though."

Lamli - "I've never told anyone this but I used to be a cat a long time ago!" Yeah, that was the lie. Then he keeps going how Nac is actually more cat-like than him with his heterochromia. "Should I call him Nyakku?"

Lucas - new season, new resolution! He's going to stop drinking from now on! Well, April Fool. He's not. "But I do find myself restrain more when you're around, Master. Think you can stay on the manor to be with us for today? Eh, this is not part of the lie, you know."

Nac - claim to have overcome his meat phobia. And then a story about Lamli fed him fried frogs??? (I'm horrified I have so little memories of the story)

Lato - "A special day where you're allowed to tell lies? How strange for humans to have such a day, given without it, they lie on daily basis." Rather than lying, he'd make true (force) the words he says. His wishes are: to go to a parsley field with Master, to watch ants in the garden with Master, and for the Master to remain in the manor. [Note: There's a mention of a book though I forgot the details about this. Does the book grant any wishes that are written on it?]

Flure - says "actually I-" and then stops there, giving up because he remembers Lato hate lies. Flure had wanted to say that he had successfully get Lato to quit calling/referring him as his little brother. Then Lato appears, saying, "To stop your lie midway just because you remember I hate those... As I thought, my little brother is a really kindhearted person." After he walks away, Flure: "If you heard what my lie was I do hope you stop calling me that though..." [Note: Flure's expression is slightly comical in my opinion, so this scene is actually rather heartwarming in its entirety]

Miyaji - claims he has grown taller by 2 cm, thus making his head bump into things more often. Well, the former is a lie but the latter is truth. Miyaji: wait, could it be I've gotten taller for real?

Teddy - impersonating Yuuhan, claiming that's who he really is after the classic collide-onto-each-other-then-switch-bodies scenario.

Yuuhan - likewise, he impersonates Teddy.

Hanamaru - claims that Yuuhan calls him 'Dad' in his sleep-talk. "How does that sound, Master? Isn't it amusing?" Yuuhan, in eerie smile and a voice I imagine colder than the Antarctica, "No, not at all." Hanamaru jumps in surprise. Yuuhan: How audacious of you to claim I sleep-talk when it's you who has to be waken up every morning by Teddy and I... Master, can I borrow Hanamaru for a moment?

[harr0w7]

OC LORE FINALLY!! (Not all, but I want to explain my drawing with it) (Trigger warning for 4buse)

Klayne (black hooded guy) ever since he lost his mother and found a job at the Diamond Organization, has lived his next 2 years being gas-lit, 4bused, mistreated, pushed away and cut off from the others by his boss Mayah. At his limit of endurance, Klayne attempted one night to murder Mayah with a silver knife, but the plan failed and all the rumors about Klayne being a bad person would become more difficult to be proven otherwise, especially since Mayah has already gained the other member's trust about Klayne. Therefore, Klayne escaped while being pursued by Mayah's bodyguards...

Klayne, thinking he has been left on his own, would never expect someone to come rescue him, nor help him; that until Rei (guy with the hat) shows up to him, telling him that he had witnessed for those 2 years Mayah's wrongdoings towards Klayne, apologizing for never acting on it out of fear and cowardice. Of course it took Klayne a long time before fully trusting Rei after all he has been through, Klayne has been hesitant to accept Rei's help and even believe his words, but eventually he gave in, realizing that Rei is just there to help him and is genuine with his intentions.

On their way to a safer place, both Klayne and Rei and the guards that were looking for Klayne got interrupted by a huge cat-like monster, an opportunity for Klayne and Rei to catch their pursuers off guard and run even farther away from them, leaving no trace anymore, but also a huge danger since the monster doesn't care whose blood it is going to feast on. The monster chases after the many bodyguards, harming and killing almost all of them, while Klayne and Rei are now on the other side of the forest; hiding behind a tree and a bush, waiting for any noise to disappear and escape entirely.

Rei and Klayne talk together, quietly, and have a heartwarming conversation until the cat-like monster finally finds them and chases after them too. On their way, Rei trips and falls, allowing the creature pursuing them to charge even faster and tackle Rei. Klayne is too terrorized to do anything despite him still holding his silver knife in his hands...he is watching the scene of his friend getting attacked, while he tries to approach very slowly, but his mind only throws him back to when he tried to kill Mayah, contrasting feelings of fear, terror, all mixed up in Klayne's damaged brain which eventually freeze him in place, his grip on the knife tight but he does nothing. However, Rei gets saved by Jupiter, another character I will introduce in another blog because for now this whole part is what will bring us back to what I have illustrated below:

a bit ahead in the story, Klayne and Rei find themselves in a cave, exploring it around and even finding a rather big rock stalactite. Klayne manages to take it off the ceiling, analyzing it with Rei. In this very cave, our protagonists meet the cat-like monster once again!

the monster attacks Rei again, immediately injuring his face and his arm; ripping part of his coat in the process. Klayne finds himself feeling terrified and helpless like the first time this has happened, he isn't holding his knife here, just the stalactite. But Klayne had had enough of being the bottom of the joke, the person that someone else (Mayah) turned him into, he is tired of trying to believe he is the worst and tired of proving others Mayah's words. He doesn't want to lose Rei, so he embraces courage and his strength to charge at the monster and slash its head off with the stalactite.

Klayne lets himself fall on his knees, reaching Rei; tears streaming down his face as he breathes heavily out of relief of finally fighting back, the suppressed stress, guilt and anxiety inside him which make the words "I'm not a monster" slip out of his mouth.

Rei smiles at him; he always believed in Klayne and always will, reassuring him that he can see that Klayne is not a monster, and showing his gratitude for helping him.

This symbolizes a huge step for Klayne in his journey to heal and forgive himself, giving himself a chance to fight back for himself, for the people who love him and take back his sense of identity, his own self.

I know this was long, but if you read it till here, thank you! I am seriously trying to develop my story more, a story I've been creating since 2019/20! I really hope I will make it to turn it into something, one day :)

and I hope the message of this story is clear, if not, well I'll be straightforward: the story is about healing, regardless of how long the journey will be, regardless of who you are, regardless of what you are, you are valid and your 4busers don't always have a reason to be who they are and don't always have a justification for what they did/do, sometimes they are just born evil and that's on them, not your fault. I'll explain Mayah in another blog of course, but;

Mayah will NEVER have resentment for what he did and does, but his victims will ALWAYS suffer the consequences, blaming their own selves because of him. He will never change, even if people try to help him.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e20 pac-man fever (w. robbie thompson)

(same sam, same. every day)

okay. OKAY. this is very reminiscent of the ghost ship xfiles episode. the music in one scene in the hallways was used in the crow too so i did a little post about it here but it's one of the best (maybe the best???) sequences in the entire series and so i had to include it in its entirety here and now (eternal crush on gillian anderson started in the early 90s and she's such a doll in the 40s getup)

supernatural s8e20 (night hop by benny carter) / the x-files s6e3 triangle (hot liquorice by dick walter)

mitch pileggi aka skinner aka not-so-good-grandpa also briefly appears in the xfiles clip :)

same vibes. (hannibal s1e9 trou nomand)

DEAN In the neighborhood? How the hell does she know where we are? SAM Uh, well, she doesn't. Not exactly, at least. It says she tracked our cells to a twenty mile radius, then the signal went out. Huh. This place must be in some kinda, like, Bermuda Triangle.

lol

sweetness ♥️

CHARLIE Well, after you guys left, I dug into all things monsters. I'm a wee bit obsessive. If "wee bit" means completely. I also found this series of books, by a Carver Edlund? [SAM and DEAN exchange awkward looks] Did those books really happen? CHARLIE (cont'd) Wow. That is some meta madness. [to DEAN] Thanks for saving the world and stuff. [to SAM] Sorry you have zero luck with the ladies.

the awkwardness of this situation if you think about it for more than a second is off the charts

CHARLIE What about, uh, Castiel? He seems helpful, and dreamy.

not the word choice i'd expect but okay

DEAN He's MIA, with a tablet of his own, doing God knows what. I mean, to be honest this whole thing is... I mean, Sam's a tough son of a bitch, but... Cas is saying that these trials are messing with him in ways that even he can't heal. CHARLIE If it's any consolation, having read your history, there is pretty much nothing the Winchesters can't do if they work together.

pretty sure i said "that's nice" out loud

CHARLIE Must be nice, having a brother, someone to always watch your back.

not that their thing is on any scale of normal. also *squints* whatcha gettin at here, show. are we adopting charlie?

DEAN Nuh-uh. Back on the horse, kiddo, come on.

operation adopt-a-sister engaged

same, charlie, same.

hey, it's jason mendoza from the good place! didn't recognize his face with the hair being up but his voice immediately rang the bell

the good place s1e8 most improved player - manny jacinto as jason mendoza

DEAN I know you wanna help, I do, but— SAM Dean, you cannot take care of the both of us. I need to be out here. Play through the pain, right? DEAN Come on man, don't quote me to me.

but dean taking care of you is kind of a non-negotiable you know that

CHARLIE So the boys said they noticed something on the body's arm before it covered them in years of future therapy. Said it looked like a blue handprint. DEAN Sounds like something you should read about. In a book. At home. SAM I'm not leaving until we find out whatever is doing this. DEAN Whatever. [stalks off] CHARLIE You guys fight like an old married couple.

JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU 😡🔪

CHARLIE Alright, well, breakthrough means snack time to me, and I wanna just stretch my legs. I will pick us up some grub, and unlike you, Sam, I will not forget the pie.

sweetness x100

isn't it nice to have someone else they can be affectionate with and there's no need to worry about ~romantic tension~

none of the emotional trauma of the previous episode, some very solid heartwarming moments, not too many cringe inducing moments of embarrassment. i'll take it, robbie

[kingdomoftyto]

It's taken 15 years, but it was worth the wait...

All right, I've put it off long enough (and had a very busy/distracting couple of weeks) so it's finally time for my review of TAAAM Act 2

For those who missed it, the second half of Turnabout: an Ace Attorney Musical dropped at the end of last month [here's a link to Act 1 for good measure], and to say I've been listening to it a lot since then would be a gross understatement. My partner and I have literally been greeting each other after work each day with, "Today's biggest earworm was [insert TAAAM song], how about you?" Even if I listen to any other music on my morning commute, by lunchtime I'll inevitably still catch myself mouthing the words to "Lotta Things" or "Tomorrow at Last" or whatever else.

What I'm getting at is that this is not just a cool piece of collaborative fanart. This is a legitimately fantastic musical. Period.

The music is wildly catchy, but remains cohesive with every other song. There are repeated leitmotifs and about a dozen reprises and incredibly satisfying references to music from the games (I was waiting for "Cornered" the entire time and was NOT disappointed when it finally showed up late in Act 2). It feels well-structured, like a real Broadway production. All of the songs from Act 1 that I would have considered the weakest--they now stand fully redeemed by their absolutely phenomenal reprises and callbacks in the second half. Every song in this musical, every line, is there for a reason.

And this careful planning serves to accentuate the stated primary goal of the entire musical: maintaining the character-driven narrative of the games and emphasizing the pathos of the story. On both counts, this team absolutely delivered.

Because not only is this a really cool musical, it's also a fantastic piece of collaborative Ace Attorney fanart. (See what I did there?) I know I already said it in my Act 1 post, but these folks understand these characters and what makes the story so memorable even 20 years later. The emotional beats, the character growth, the relationships between them all, are impeccable. Every character gets their time to shine, and in particular I want to praise their handling of Maya and Gumshoe, who feel like fully realized people and each go through their own personal arcs throughout the course of the story that are just as satisfying and heartwarming as Phoenix's own.

And that's a good segue into the subject of what creative liberties the team DID take with the story, because there honestly aren't that many, but what they did change is so good. I replayed Turnabout Goodbyes a few nights ago and was surprised at how much dialogue in the musical is taken line-for-line, sometimes even verbatim, from the source material. But, aside from the changes you might expect from condensing an entire mystery game's worth of story into a few hours of runtime--such as simplifying the cases to require fewer clues to solve--they really only altered the plot in ways that gave more chances to develop the characters, and to create rewarding arcs for each and every one.

They added a whole damn scene of just Gumshoe and Maya having a heart-to-heart. It is easily one of my favorite scenes in the entire play. These writers drank their respecting-Dick-Gumshoe juice that morning, and that single scene gives a better emotional payoff to his loyalty to Miles than I think we ever got in canon, while remaining utterly in-character for everyone involved. Meanwhile, the scene doubles as one of many stepping stones* for Maya's own character arc (which is also much more focused and consistent than in canon, imo!), in which she struggles with her feelings of helplessness and inadequacy as she tries to live up to Mia's legacy.

(It goes without saying that this scene also serves the practical purpose of getting characters in place to further simplify the details of the case, as mentioned before, because the writing is unparalleled and I will keep emphasizing that as many times as it needs to be said.)

In truth, there are only two things I would qualify as "major" changes to the story (in that they're different from canon, not that they actually change the plot itself), and I'm hesitant to spoil them here because both of them are SO good and both of them hit me like a truck when they happened. One has to do with emotional depth getting added to a certain character's arc, and the other has to do with relationships between characters. (Maybe I'll add them as a self-reblog to this post because I still need to scream about them lol.)

In any case, I'm not kidding when I say that the musical's version of events, big changes and small, is so compelling to me that it has now superseded the canon version in my mind.** It manages to tell the exact same story while not only giving some of the "side" characters much more credit, but also tying the cases themselves together into a single narrative. The specter of Redd White and his chokehold on the justice system is present in the back half of the original game, but the musical tweaks things to really make you feel how all of these pieces fit together to direct the characters' actions and growth. It's just... ugh, so brilliant. [chef kiss]

I would be remiss if I didn't also take a moment to directly praise the performance of the actors. As obsessed as I am with the music itself, my single favorite moments in both Acts are actually short lines of spoken dialogue.*** The delivery just struck a chord in me and I still lose it a little every time I hear those parts. (And other parts, but. Shush.) Everyone did a great job, but the three leads (Ren, MJ, and Gavaroc, who played Phoenix, Maya, and Miles respectively) absolutely knocked it out of the park in both their sung and spoken performances. Is it weird to say I'm obsessed with how convincing the screams are in "600,000 Volts"? It is, a little? Okay, well. [cough] Regardless. The whole cast really knew what they were doing throughout this entire production; the emotion is extremely powerful when the moment calls for it**** and they elevate the dialogue--again, a lot of which is taken DIRECTLY from canon!--from something good to something amazing. The delivery of these lines has literally changed how I look at the first game, now. They're that good.

Quick shout-out to some of the other voices that have invaded my brain and instantly become my headcanon voices for the characters. Just off the top of my head: Larry, Payne, Sahwit, Redd, Grossberg, Lotta, Lana... seriously. This cast is absolutely star-studded. Even the ensemble freakin' killed it, absolutely transforming every song they were in. The soprano that hit that high note at the end of "Justice for All (Reprise)"????? MAGNIFICENT. GOOSEBUMPS EVERY TIME.

Good grief, this is already so long and I still have so much more I could say. This is why it's taken me so long to write all this out, by the way. This musical is transcendently good, both from a musical perspective and a fandom one, and I simply have not stopped rotating it around in my head since I first heard it.

It's NOT without flaws. Of course it's not. The sound quality on a handful of spoken lines is noticeably lower. The word choices in a few verses feel just slightly clumsy, or forced to fit the meter. The visuals for the Youtube release are a little goofy at times because of the limitations of the game assets used. The plot of the second act, even simplified, would probably be a little too dense to easily follow for someone unfamiliar with the source material.

But if there's anything to be learned from Ace Attorney, it's that perfection shouldn't be the most important goal. Sometimes a few rough edges are necessary to allow room for truth. And the truth is, in this case, a story. A story about a lawyer named Phoenix Wright, who loses a mentor, gains a best friend, and saves a man who'd lost himself.

It's a story worth hearing, and what better way than in song?

--

*- For the record, my favorite song in Act 1 was "I'll Be There", so among all the MANY times the end of Act 2 punched me directly in the heart, the moment that hits me the hardest is probably still the part of the finale that reprises it. That last stanza (I hope you know I'm glad we met...) makes me want to cry every single time. Maya Fey Protection Squad, indeed.....

**- Except for ONE thing at the very end, but that's a story for the self-reblog where I scream about the spoilery stuff LOL

***- My fav line in Act 1 is Miles' real-time epiphany that Redd White is a murderer. ("The only people in that office at that time were the victim and the- ...killer.") You can HEAR his eyes widen as he falters, and the choice to have that as his turning point in place of Turnabout Samurai is so brilliant in so many ways I can't even handle it. I love Miles Edgeworth so much. Anyway, THEN, my fav line in Act 2 is Phoenix's heartrendingly soft, "I've got you, Edgeworth. I've got you." It's so tender and yet so sure. It's Phoenix catching Miles as he falls, looking him directly in the eye, and telling him it's over, I won't let you suffer for one more day.

****- Another of my many favorite lines is Phoenix's "Did you DO it!?" underneath Miles' singing in "Alone". The desperation. The ANGUISH. During my replay of Turnabout Goodbyes I literally had to stop and take a second when the button prompt labeled "Did you do it?" popped up on my screen. That hurted.