#I'm not being hyperbolic I'm Right
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sorry I can't stand aus where wei wuxian grows up in another sect. I mean this so genuinely without the yunmeng siblings the story is Nothing
#like from a literal plot perspective. numerous major events hinge on their relationships with each other#and I say it often but. maybe if wei wuxian and jiang cheng just didn't loved each other so much none of it would have ended this way‼️#I'm not being hyperbolic I'm Right#and jiang yanli too!!!#idk it just feels pointless and silly to me#and sort of weird when he's adopted into the lan sect? I feel like that makes his relationship w lan wangji questionable At Best#anyway another day another post about me hating some shitty cql au#ghost posts#text#wwx#yunmeng siblings
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Was just given a bit of attitude about being aromantic by the only people I've told I am aromantic really trying not to hyperventilate here
#already crying#fuck I'm so stupidly emotional I know#sorry I need to vent. Sorry.#it's not my friends' fault they don't get it. it's not their fault. you can't always get stufff#but fuck fuck fuck fuck I need people to respect even the stuff they don't get#especially since they're the only people I have felt safe enough to come out to#so yeah apparently the conceot of an aro being in a a relationship at some point of their lives is pushing it too far#also being aro and not ace is pushing it too far#also clearly joking about wanting to be in a relationship with somebody is pushing it too far#it's fine when the others- who already have partners- do it but when I an aro do it it's pushing it too far#I will delete this later#when I calm down#fuck fuck fuck#delete later#I am sorry for not conforming to the idea of an aro who suddenly throws up at the thoght of a relationship#wait! Actually I am that kind of aro! I just sometimes joke about being in a relationship with people in an hyperbolic manner#and sometimes think it would be interesting to try being in a relationship if I ever find someone that doesn't#physically makes me throw up (BECAUSE IT HAS HAPPENED) or a have a meltdown crying when I think of being in a relationship with them#but I guess that's pushing it too far#I am sorry I am so fucking sorry I dared speaking about relationships#aro#aromantic#panicking#I am so fucking panicking right now
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So here's my problem:
I think paragraphs, like stanzas of a poem, should be defined by feel and flow and stuff. I don't like the rules.
SPECIFICALLY, I don't like having every single quote be its own paragraph. It's fine sometimes, but when you have a lot of back and forth it's just bad - and even when it's just one thing and then the reply to that thing sometimes they belong together.
I don't mean that I run them all into the same line, just to be clear. There's still a line break. So it's like this:
"Where did he go?" "Who?" "You know who! The fucking axe murderer!" "Oh, Bob?"
But when I do that, people complain. "Oh, Baron Fulmen, you have accidentally only used a line break and not a new paragraph! I can't possibly read this! It's too hard!"
So I go online and I search, hoping to find support and solace, and instead what do I find? YOU MUST START A NEW PARAGRAPH.
Well, fuck you.
...
Except.
Except if, somehow, that really is hard for them to read then I should fix it, right? But seriously you can't read it that way? Really?
#I know I'm being difficult and hyperbolic#people are trying to help and give me feedback and they're right I guess#but I don't LIKE that they're right#I like it my way#It reads better TO ME but I'm writing for an audience so... ugh#I just want to be right and have everyone agree with me is that too much to ask?
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Prompt for a ramble or a drabble or whatever you like if you want: what happens in REALLY deep trance? (can you tell what's been on my mind lol) happy to see you doing a little writing again :)
First of all, thanks! :) I hope the spirit will stay with me.
So- a REALLY deep trance -
Being a really deep trance is like falling back into the ocean from a cliff- closing your eyes and throwing yourself over and not even noticing when you hit the water- just going down down down in the dark. Sinking into a sea with no bottom.
A really deep trance is being swallowed by a huge creature and being carried off by it with no real control over where it'll spit you out. Feeling temporarily consumed.
A really deep trance is being dissolved - everything gets bigger and bigger as you get smaller and smaller and then you just ARE part of the bigness itself in a nice, ego-less way.
A really deep trance is being possessed- feeling so relaxed and distant that something powerful takes you over, mind and body. Something that feels like awe- like your very self will burst from trying to contain something so big.
It feels like an orgasm- but much more internal and not really physical at all. Something deep happens inside and you're on a precipice- like being at the top of a roller coaster hill. Gasping. But there's no shuddery down- it's just the sustained height and widening of the moment as it gets bigger and bigger. I'll find myself moaning from that stretching when it's really good. It's ecstatic in that religious way- like a medieval painting.
(It also doesn't HAVE to be that profound- it kind of depends on the other person and what's ok in the relationship and how the day is feeling yadda yadda. But it CAN feel that big and that's exciting. I'm really bad at spirituality in general and it feels like it's hacking my spirituality instincts- giving room to all of those ideas from my childhood that kinda died on the vine. A bit dangerous but worth indulging in with the right person.)
#uhh- but if you're hypnotizing me don't let this freak you out?#there are lots of good hypnosis feelings for me that aren't this level of trance#I just like being profoundly deep when I happen across it#when I say I like being hypnotized? I'm not fucking joking#it sounds like hyperbole but in the right space the best words are kinda hyperbole? like - ���i feel relaxed and dissociated” is right but#like#hypoberly#if that's a word
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I think she's really the one!!!! I know I said that about the other 5 but this time it's different !!!!!!!
it's gonna work out once and for all and then I'll never be lonely again
#.txt#her name is Jasmine#we've been talking for three days and have a date planned next week#we're both giddy about each other#sometimes I think about her and I start jumping up and down in excitement#she said she has a crush on me#yes I know relationships are more than mutual interest#more than mutual attraction#more than even getting along. they're about compatability of everything#compatability of belief systems#and ways of dealing with conflict#and i know that I can't reaaaaaaally know how awesome she is cuz we haven't met yet#but idk. i have faith in blind teenage love. i think it'll work out just fine. i think blind attraction will smooth out all the kinks.#i don't think god would let me feel this without it meaning something#yes I know i'm being dumb and hyperbolic. but if not now then when?#none of this really matters. i'm not settling down#im not determining anything about the future#im just choosing the feelings that i'm going to feel right now#in this moment.#anyway yeah. her name is Jasmine.
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Actually it should be legal to rush the stage and start beating a guys ass when he starts being blatantly bigoted or predatory disguised as "jokes".
Standing on stage in front of a microphone is not a go-ahead to say whatever the hell you want without consequences because you're "joking", and so many comedians need to be reminded of that.
#shout out to that dude who hunted the comedian who made a sex joke about his infant down and beat his ass on stage#we need to see more of that#being a comedian is not a ''get out of jail free'' card and a lot of them need to be reminded of that#we need to bring back throwing shit at performers when they objectively suck#comedians specifically#also this is obviously hyperbole; I don't *actually* think mob violence should be legal#I'm just exaggerating to vent frustration#but there's exaggerating to vent#and then there's saying ''maybe if she could cook she wouldn't have that black eye?'' and pretending that's funny#a less violent solution would be shutting their performance down the second they make a disgusting joke like that#if the punchline of your joke boils down to ''I don't think X demographic are actually people worthy of respect lol''#then your show gets shut down right then and there#the reason so many comedians think they can just say whatever the hell they want is they basically can#getting ''cancelled'' on twitter or whatever is not actually that tangible of a consequence and I'm tired of people pretending it is#Dave Chappelle still gets gigs#everyone knows he's a transphobic piece of shit but no one cares#maybe if transphobic jokes got his shows shut down or got his ass physically beat he'd stop making them?
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my youtube home page recommended videos these days are like
video i've already watched
actual video i'd like to watch from a creator i follow
extremely upsetting video that has zero (0) relevance to anything i ever watch
video with ten views of someone's high school graduation or something
shorts i don't want
video i've already watched
video from my watch-later playlist that i saved five years ago
six (6) videos related to home improvement bc i made the mistake of watching one (1) video about fixing something once
tomska????
#i'm being hyperbolic but this is genuinely what it feels like#but also#this is somehow miles better than the “for you” thing that pops up on the search page#i can't find a way to right click on a video in the “for you” section and say 'please dear god never show me this again please?'#whose idea was it to put “for you” in a search page anyway i'm searching for a reason#also#if your cursor hovers too long on a video and it does that autoplay preview thing#why does that count as a view and then go into your history and then fuck up your recommendations literally instantly#why can that be reflected so quickly in my recommendations and not anything else#i am sorry to rant on tumblr but i am genuinely v annoyed about this#tech#youtube#my post#coming back to add that this frustration has caused me to do what i should've done ages ago#and go find the list of ublock origin filters that turns off the recommendations on search pages#so my life is much better#perhaps there was a plus side to my annoyance#but i am STILL v annoyed ok#anyway this is your sign to go do that ublock origin saves my life repeatedly
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So many of my artist friends tell me “Tell the artist you’re commissioning details about your character’s backstory, personality, and quirks-- they might be able to incorporate those into the art in ways that will amaze you and it’ll make the commissioning process much smoother” meanwhile nearly every artist commission sheet says something along the lines of “If you tell me a single extraneous piece of information about your character, I will strike you dead where you stand”.
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"Everyone else's take on this character/ship is wrong though--"
Write it yourself then!!!!
#writing tag but with more words so it's unique#'i can't write--' write a meta post or something then or put together a damn moodboard just stop complaining#(i am in a grouchy mood!)#(and this isn't a vaguepost directed at anyone likely to see it or indeed at any one other post or character/ship in particular)#i get having NOTPs and being picky about characterization#but what drives me insane is 'i MIGHT ship this if ANYONE wrote it the right way'#and then not throwing your hat in the ring like if it's itching at you that much then why not try and see how hard it is#(i am being a little hyperbolic)#also having more specific/refined taste isn't the same as having better taste#like congratulations you're picky! i'm incredibly picky about poetry for example but that doesn't mean my taste in poetry is better
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maybe I'm a bit possessive but I HATE it when mainlanders and god forbid non-australians especially yanks are all 'we should bring back the thylacine because it's OUR fault it's extinct' like who's we? this is something white tasmanians did. if you wanna mourn an extinct species due to human action go find something local to you instead
#I'm not against bringing back the thylacine either. I'm just. ooh it's 'our' mistake is it?#not gonna let tasmania cop the blame for its mistakes?#do you have the same energy for helping save the tasmanian devil from extinction#by helping fund research into facial tumour disease?#do you care about tasmania? outside of the thylacine and the curated tourist image?#because if you just like the thylacine because it's extinct and foreign to you I'm not a big fan of you at all#I am being a bit hyperbolic in how much I hate that... is attitude the right word. idk#but it's like#I get very tetchy when we're just ignored outside of the admittedly usually funny jokes#and it feels like. we're being ignored. like you plucked out one tiny aspect and threw the rest in the bin#and I'm not saying you can't like the thylacine or have an interest in it or want it brought back either#I'm just mad about the 'we'#it's not your fault. stop acting like it
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stupid fucking broken body
#low health#i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory#i can't do a single thing without hurting#not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight#i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this#i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen#and the text was fucking TINY too aha#there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration#so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is#everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity#or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing#to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen#and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess#they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right#and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves#i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?*#ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO.#i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP#and it has been OVER SIX YEARS#and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer#and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC.#i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point#i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX#and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO#i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die#and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health#so we can barely even help each other even if we want to
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Really hard not to get a big ego sometimes when EVERYONE ELSE IS SO FUCKING LAME seriously I swear to fucking god
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maybe I'm just a hoe with eds but people popping in their shoulders in media always bothers me. you don't grab and yonk it like that you make a fist and rotate it outwards*...........
#I don't care for whatever watsonian explanation there is. it happens so often in so many contexts including with characters with medical#knowledge that it's clearly a fault of the writers and not the characters not having that knowledge#you don't just wrench it dear fucking god#*I mean. my muscles frequently fall out of place during sublux/dislocations so I frequently have to wiggle funky to put it back in the right#spot. but it's always slow and deliberate. you NEVER wrench with speed and force#you NEVER take an injury from speed and improper movement and fix it with speed and improper movement#depending on how it's dislocated yes you may need some force but the way that people just walk up and grab and yank? makes me want to tear#my hair out by the roots and I'm not being hyperbolic
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basic necklace with a charm of the type found in claires:
lobster clasp: 5p
chain: 4p
jump rings: 4p
charm: 15p
2 minutes (VERY generously. ive never timed myself on that but earrings takes me 57 seconds? so) labour minimum wage: 38p
total cost 66p
being a crafter is so weird because it's like. here's a necklace that between materials and minimum wage labour cost me £1 to make. you will happilly pay me £6 for it because the same thing in claire's is £15. here's a blanket that between materials and half minimum wage labour cost me £700 to make. you will tell me to fuck off because you can buy a blanket in a shop for £100.
#you are right it doesn't cost £1 in materials and labour i was being hyperbolic it's closer to £0.50#clasps and rings aren't that expensive even i'm rounding up
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Deleted my reblog of the post about possible Palestinian donation bots and scams. While I agree with the overall gist of the post, that we should all think critically about where all these donation drives are coming from, their more hyperbolic statements didn't sit right with me. Just as I don't think trusting every ask about donations is smart, I don't think reporting every ask you get is good either, as it will inevitably lead to legitimate accounts being punished for the actions of opportunistic bots. Also, dismissing them as fronts for human traffickers is impossible to prove, and makes it WAY too easy to vilify and dismiss every message you get. I don't want to support that train of thought, even indirectly.
If you want to signal boost or donate to individual drives you do you, please just practice due diligence and take a careful look at where they're coming from before putting money down. In my personal opinion I think it's more effective to donate to established charities with proof of the work they're doing on the ground, so I'm going to repost the list of links for some of those from the original post.
Palestine Children's Relief Fund
Palestine Red Crescent Society
Islamic Relief USA
World Central Kitchen
Medecins Sans Frontiers
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There's this idea, fairly common in society, that mental illness is for teens and up. Children are happy little creatures, generally, right? Sometimes they're abused and the trauma can make them mentally ill, but that's not common.
There are two fundamental problems with this attitude. One, it's incorrect to assume that trauma is the only reason a young kid can be mentally ill. Two, trauma is more common than people think. I'll be covering the first problem in this post through the lens of my particular experience.
Where I live, you can be diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18 years old. You cannot be diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a minor. This poses a problem because my age of onset was in first grade, roughly six years old. Because of the fact that I was very young and new to the world, this was also the age of my first suicide attempt. Thinking I wouldn't be able to pass a spelling test genuinely felt like something worth trying to die over. So, I ate some hemlock, since I'd read about Socrates being killed with it. Luckily, I ate western hemlock, an unrelated species, and just felt kind of sick.
I'm not recounting that for fun or pity. I'm recounting it because children with mental illness are in genuine danger because they have little to no experience with managing their emotions, have little to no concept of the idea that their life can change and improve, and are dismissed by adults. I told a teacher that the test made me want to die, though not that I'd attempted to, and it was brushed off as little kid hyperbole. If I had used a method that was effective rather than one I thought would be, I would have been dead at six years old.
I would not receive medication that worked even a bit for another two years. I would not receive treatment for bipolar disorder specifically for ten years, and that required my PCP fudging the reason for the medication because she was afraid I would die if she didn't, and diagnosis was still two years off at minimum. I received a formal diagnosis at age 19, thirteen years after onset.
But surely that's uncommon, right? This story is a huge edge case, right? I actually have no idea, because age of onset and age of diagnosis are massively conflated for most disabilities. Policies like the one in my area that restricted bipolar diagnoses by age can artificially raise the age of "onset", in my case by thirteen years. The general idea that children are somehow immune to mental illness can also delay diagnosis by several years, perpetuating the idea that young children can't be mentally ill. The data on when people start experiencing mental illness is inherently skewed upwards, and I frankly don't have a good estimate on how bad that skew is. If anyone does have that data, please chime in.
Listen to children. If they're saying they're sad all the time, that they don't care about anything, that they don't see a future for themselves, those are signs of depressive symptoms. If they say that tests make them feel sick, that they can't do anything because they're scared, that they can't breathe and freeze up, those are signs of anxious symptoms. Many children talk about imaginary things, and that's just fine, but slip in a question or two about them to make sure that the kid is just playing, and not experiencing psychosis.
Children are new to the world and vulnerable, and they don't know what's normal and what isn't. They need people who are more experienced watching out for problems they might be having, and listening when they talk about having problems. If you can, try to be the person who perceives them, and tells them that things can be better.
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