#I'm normal. I'm cool. I'm fine. Everything is fine.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
his name is Jamie
#and he's actually an asshole but .... uh... [voice crack] Y-yUp#I'm normal. I'm cool. I'm fine. Everything is fine.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
that period of time between south park post covid being announced in 2021 to summer 2022 when everyone got obsessed with truffula flu was moderately heavenly
#i'm going through all my chronological memory hoarding playlists from late 2013 to now#taken all day but i'm currently on around june 2022 and it's so nostalgic#but like that entire time was unreal#never forget south park post covid announcement literally curing me of like 2 years worth of on and off depression#i was like still weakly crawling out of the abyss and then adult scientist philanthropist kenny jsut yanked me out of there so easily#no warning#and then i was fine. it was so funny to me like i was in the middle of my eateot induced existential crisis where i couldn't sleep and then#everything was just normal? literally whatever episode of my life i was in had ended and everything reset for the next episode#which was such a good episode as well. and then the tflu era??#reading every existing camp entre blog within a month#and then the swag and bitter archives. literally the summer of all time#not just for that i mean it was just a good summer anyway#the only logical direction for life to go in after that was down bc i'd literally peaked for about 8 months#but it was a good time while it lasted#this was meant to be a happy ''remember the good times'' post but how come i'm only allowed to be happy for like a year at most#but i'm allowed to be in the abyss for 2 years#hopefully not longer bc i'm only now just getting over the cursed half of 2022 that doesn't exist to me (sep-dec)#but like. 2015 and first part of 2016 good. 2016-2018 bad#end of 2018 and most of 2019 good. end of 2019-summer 2021 bad#end of 2021-summer 2022 good. end of 2022-now bad#the maths does not add up#anyway shoutout november 2021-july 2022 i love you soooooooo much you were so sexy <3#(apart from the agoraphobia but that was part of the fun)#(like i'd be out in public and i'd see a pic of entre on my phone and i guess too much serotonin would be released in my brain and i'd get#anxiety and have to go home and i couldn't eat in public and i basically couldn't leave the house)#(because i was too obsessed with tflu)#(that wasn't the main reason it was mostly a wild fear of food poisoning from anything. but tflu didn't help and that is so cool of it)#(truly an iconic time. okay stop talking)#ramble
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The more I think on how I am when I'm badly dissociated for a long period of time the more I start to realize that maybe what I experience isn't normal dissociation and idk how to feel abt that
#like hmmm maybe having hours to weeks at a time where whatever consciousness makes me me doesnt exist at all isnt normal#maybe having my brain and body run themselves as I fully disappear is weird. maybe seeing memories of those moments like movies instead of-#-my own experience is a sign of something. but also if its a sign of something that something could be used to prevent me from transitioning#so that something I think is best to not think abt until I've at least gotten top surgery.#but its also hard not to think abt bc like. it is uncomfortable. death and the potential following non-existence aren't scary#but the idea of not existing within my own body while I'm still alive is. because if I'm not there#A where the hell did I go. B what the fuck is living for me#feels like I get knocked out and possessed and then afterwards the ghost shows me a video of everything it did like??? cool one question WHY#like thanks for letting me nap for a bit while you live for me but can we try communicating about this instead of snapping me out of reality#its nice to avoid breaking down from stress and all but like. there's gotta be a better way to avoid it than this.#surely I have options other than spontaneous nonexistence and possession#idk. thats what it always feels like and like. I dont hate it but I dont like it either. its fine but its also very uncomfortable
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Help my pet words have breached containment
Now ANYONE could just read them!
Even YOU!!
The multi-chapter finale to the trilogy of that "short story oneshot" I wrote in... JUNE???
From the AO3 page:
A rumour begins to spread around Home, that Frank is in love with a girl named Violet. While Frank and Julie are trying to protect the truth, Sally is personally dedicated to unveiling it. Eddie is more than a little miffed about the whole ordeal; he'd thought he and Frank might've had something, after all.
#innisart#welcome home#eddie dear#frank frankly#sally starlet#welcome home fanfic#I'm so fine and cool and calm about posting this#everything is normal :)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
look at this brown butter. she's luscious
#making cookies. i hope they turn out this time#i've wanted to get on the hype train for bb cookies so bad but both times i've made them in the past they're soooo greasy#looking back i think it's because i did not let the butter cool before mixing in everything else. like duh of course it was going to end up#greasy and flat#this time i waited until it was completely cool and the dough looked normal so i'm hoping the cookies will turn out#i even went to bulk barn and got chocolate wafers to be all Fancy#me and brown butter have a complicated history. both times i did it in the past i don't think i browned it enough#this time i made sure it got to that deep brown color before i took it off the heat#but then i started panicking like omg what if i overdid it 😭#it's fine it'll be fine. it smelled amazing and not at all burnt
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
currently one week into a two-week stay with a terrible relative who needed help recovering from an operation and because i'm the only competent adult who was willing to do it (my dad literally lives with her but is both incompetent and unwilling) and i just. do not know how much more of this i can tolerate
she has the most TERRIBLE opinions and every morning when i sit down she'll just say something AWFUL and i have no choice but to respond because how on earth can you sit and listen to someone say something so repugnant and NOT say something. the one good thing i can say about her is that she isn't a tory but every other terrible evil little box you could tick, she probably fits it
i'm sure you're wondering, quite fairly, why i have even come here knowing this is the case. just to clarify, she has NEVER been this overtly awful before. like don't get me wrong, i knew she had some questionable opinions and i've butted heads with her about her views before but it's never been on this level. i think that now i'm an adult she feels free to go full mask off with everything and i'm like listen i'm usually in favour of unmasking but in this case can you put that shit back on, right the fuck now, preferably with superglue. and then apply said superglue to your mouth
the only reason i haven't just fucking walked out already is because my brother is coming down here on wednesday to see her for the first time since he started on testosterone, and i am genuinely concerned about how this woman will react because like. i'm sure saying she's also a transphobe will come as a shock to no one and for obvious reasons no one has told her... but when she actually sees him and hears him speak in person i feel like she's going to you know. catch on. fairly quickly. and i need to be here so i can back him up against the potential fallout and so i can get him out if things turn nasty. like it's not that i think she'd be able to DO anything, she's an old woman and she's just had surgery, but like. i'm obviously not gonna leave my brother to deal with that shit by himself
but yeah every minute i spend here is slowly crushing my soul to powder and making me feel unwell at the idea that there are real people who fucking think like this. and not only do they think it but they're willing to SAY IT and think it's a normal fucking thing to believe!!! and then when i go "what the fuck is wrong with you" and argue back she acts like there's something wrong with ME!!!! LIKE I'M THE BAD PERSON??? HUHHHHHHH???
#and this isn't even touching upon the hundreds of insane little rules she has for EVERYTHING. E V E R Y T H I N G#look im autistic. i'm cool with rules. but the sheer NUMBER OF RULES THIS WOMAN HAS ABOUT EVERY FACET OF EXISTENCE#ONE CANNOT POSSIBLY REMEMBER THEM ALL#the dishwasher has to be loaded in a certain way. if i put a single plate in the wrong place she freaks out and makes me move it#she has a fork preference which is fine and normal except that she INSISTS THAT OTHER PEOPLE ALSO ADHERE TO *HER* PREFERRED UTENSILS#like one type of fork is for dessert and one type of fork is for normal food. she didn't like the knives i picked because they're “too big”#(babe they're YOUR KNIVES) but then when i set the table she told me off because i should have used the big knife for my dad#because it's a “man's knife” SHUT UP. GENUINELY SHUT UP.#she told me to hang the clothes on the line straight so they don't get creased. okay makes sense#NO THAT'S TOO STRAIGHT. YOU'LL STRETCH THEM HANGING THEM LIKE THAT.#i even have to put the FUCKING WASHING UP BOWL IN THE SINK IN A CERTAIN DIRECTION. YOU COULD NOT MAKE THIS UP#im constantly on edge because everything i do is wrong in some way and there's just so many pointless rules to remember#like idk about you guys but if it were me. if someone had come to stay with me to help me after a surgery#and was cooking and doing the washing up and doing my errands for me. i would simply fucking say thank you?#i wouldn't be standing over them to make sure i didn't fold a fucking sock the wrong way
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
kunikida plushie quite literally the reason yesterday wasn't the worst day of my life LMAO
#I'M FINE BTW NOW JUST feel like im in some alternate dimension oguhghhh#THE Stabbing wasn't like an attack btw just a Normal Medical procedure gone wrong </3#nothing like almost feinting in public twice after watching someone commit medical malpractice on ur family YIPEE /lh#sibling is fine btw but Man Stressful#got light headed after and nearly feinted in a public place and completely lost my visions (it was just colors and dark swirls) and had to-#grab onto my sibling to lead me back to the car lolzz#it wasn't a Walmart either just just was Funnier to me#kite draws#kite's ocs#kitson alkaid#koi ursae#I need to draw these two more they're my everything ........#me: wants ppl to know abt my ocs - also me: never posts ocs :manstandingemoji:#still have a migraine#and fully feeling effects of it all today which sucks suhhhghhghghg#this is like being hungover but without the fun LMAO#kunikida plushie and kunikida + Dazai mochis were waiting for me when I got home though#so thats cool#converting my sister into a second hand Kunikida fan btw#she just calls him 'Ur Guy' though cuz she doesn't remember his names
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
nah man I get hancock I really do if I had to pick a single man in the whole history of the world to fall for I'd pick luffy too, who are we kidding
#i love kuja island its a cool spin on the amazon myth and all the designs for the girls are extremely fun#i wish luffy had spent more active on screen time there the girls are fun#also i never spent too long thinking about it but it makes sense kuma would send him there#since he was trying to hide him and that's like#the only island that's completely off limits for anyone who's not a resident#smart thinking !#also during the fight with the sisters they talk about conqueror haki and i thought about how zoro has it and#UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he loves luffy so much!!! HE LOVES LUFFY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!#it's LITERALLY in his very nature to stand at the top and follow noone and he still loves luffy so much he'd follow him to hell#he said so!!! on page!!!!! he would!!!!!!!!!#they repeat it a whole lot during the manga too#how a man like zoro could be a captain himself#how it's weird there's someone above him#he loves luffy so much he goes against everything anyone would expect of him to stay by him....... p l e a s e 😭😭😭#on a slightly unrelated not just before being sent away nami looks at luffy and Cries and Asks for Help and luffy can't save her and I just#AUUUGHHHHH the callback!!! to her arc!!!!! and how while he tries to get back on the sea luffy thinks about her specifically!!!!!!#FUCK!!!!!!!#I'm fine I'm normal I'm not crying about something i first read 14 years ago what are you talking about hahahahaha
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
1 note
·
View note
Text
........fuck
#FUCK IT ALL!#/not mad. actually a little mad but in a fun way? wait what?#Why the hell was I struck with this thought the MOMENT I started fallout? lol#ridiculous#Anyways! I had a thought. NOT THAT I AM FOR SURE#but like- ITS AN IF!#IF I DID make an S/I WHICH I AM NOT! I could see Clyde being 100% shy to talk to them- simply because Clyde believes his family is ''cursed#Just because something bad happens to each of their family members in some way (sans him and his brother's sister)#Clyde is a little superstitious as well- As he associated a word with a time where he went to juvey as a kid after the word was said so now#he associates it with something bad happening-#anyways yeah- I feel like he'd be very shy in his own way around my SI WHICH IS FINE#BECAUSE THERE ISN'T GONNA BE AN S/I EVERYTHING IS FINE! ITS NORMAL WE'RE COOL! ARE YOU COOL!? I'M COOL!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
misery
#i have so much i want to do with this fic the options are kind of overwhelming#and im trying to keep it canon compliant which is. almost an impossible task lol#like... timeline wise.#ada speaks#its just. breaking dennis. tearing him down to his absolute lowest and having him pretend he's so fucking normal while he loses his mind#and then season 13 starts :))) and haha havent you missed me guys i didn't miss you and everything is fine & normal#i didn't just have the absolute worst year of my life and have my ego ground to dust#after trying so hard to be the best i possibly can. opening myself up and being vulnerable and real and failing so hard. so spectacularly.#i've just confirmed my worst fears of being like my father. couldnt hack it as a dad. i'm giving up and accepting that i'm truly worthless.#but i'm still the same old dennis. haha. heehee. i'm back. is anyone going to ask why. no? ok. cool. good. let's pretend everything is fine#business as usual.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
im sure i said this last time i was playing my tav with the descent into avernus backstory but giving descent into avernus as a backstory really makes the "*deep sigh* one day i'll catch a break" dialogue so much funnier like he just fell out of a nautiloid and his reaction is "not this shit again"
#fun bun bard rides again#i got an urge to play again after szass tam was in the movie#cause i learned about him from the magic mirror in this game when you're getting the necromancy of thay#unfortunately the face mod i used to get the cool flame eyes with the slit pupils has changed#and now he still has a cute face#but the eyes are just the normal eyes#in my heart he still has fire eyes with slit pupils#at least everything's working fine with patch 9 that's all that really matters#this time i'm just going to Play#and we'll see if gale's romance truly is fixed#i think it was last time but i ended up speedrunning it anyway so we shall see#fel's bg3#oc: tav
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love using songs to explain my muses because there's something so deeply jordan about this ... yeah
tfw your perception of yourself and your worth and the way other people perceive you is so deeply warped you have no idea how to conceive of the idea that someone might actually mean it when they tell you you're doing good & it must only be because you're doing something that serves them and their idea of what's right & good & has nothing to do with you & everything to do with their expectations ...
everything is transactional and Fake to jordan regarding affection, praise & love because he's never known it to be any different so when someone is being genuine it's like he can't hear them & like they never said anything at all ... yeah ... yeah !!!!! very hard for him to understand that when people say they're proud of him they mean they're proud of him for who he is and not that they're proud he's doing what they want ... as long as he listens and behaves and sacrifices everything for others he's good, perfect & wanted ...
i could go on about this truly but his perception of what it even means to be him is so warped because it took so long for him to even get a bit of the individuality he's been craving his entire life and it's so !!!!! he's always just been whatever other people want/need him to be and when he's not they're disappointed and their love disappears
#anyway i have feelings about him !!!! so so many feelings!!! especially when you consider his relationship with sasha which will#prob be a meta at some point because it fundamentally changes Everything about jordan and the way he sees things ...#sasha being the first time he feels like he's actually loved and appreciated and doesn't have to be the person he thinks he should be ...#yeah i'll die it's fine we're cool i'm normal#sasha is just ... v v important to his canon i added some stuff in his doc abt it and. YEAH...#« my inner child needs a bulletproof vest. » jordan (musings)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i got a "cooling pad" for christmas that has six fans in it and you put your computer on it. finally searched how to turn the intensity up bc the dials on the thing sure as hell aren't working. "six quiet fans" man my computers internal fans do more work than these fans. and you can't turn it up bc it you use it through a usb port lol so it can't really handle it running the fans faster.
#i'm just annoyed bc like my dad spent money on something useless for me. and i feel bad.#i have my normal fan that i use too.#i have to have the fan on and point so that it blows cool air into my computer or the stuttering while i play bg3 is off the charts#i know the solution is that i need a different computer but this computer cost like a thousand bucks#i was planning to wait a few years to get a new computer. i guess it's more like 2 years at this point lol#god the time's flown then. it's 2024 so i got this coming up on two years ago#hm. maybe more reasonable that it struggles to run bg3 than i thought#esp bc the most intense games aside from it are literally like. black flag and dai LMAO#see when i got this computer i just figured i'd be in for looooong load screens which i was fine with#esp bc that's how it was with dai on my old computer#it's just annoying to be going around act 3 of bg3 and having to be like was THIS the patch that makes it so loading in the market area#crashes the game for me...#i load in and then i have to wait a minute for everything to actually be loaded in and then as soon as i move like 10 feet in game i have t#wait for those textures to load in or have textureless blobs in my cutscenes#rambling
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i think about constantine's friendship with chas chandler for too long and end up shaking like a purse chihuahua.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#his oldest friend...his Best friend.....the one who knows him better than anyone else......#all the time i think about that issue where chas finds him absolutely beat to hell and SO gently scoops him up and carries him to the car#almost goes for a crowbar when he see the guys who did it and only stops because john asks him to. patches him up. stays by his side#they're both dark in their own ways. both emotionally stunted and less than communicative. both taking advantage of each other in small way#but fuck if they wouldn't drop everything in a heartbeat at the other's say-so. fuck if they don't go as gentle for each other as they can#and of course. chas is in love with him. and john loves chas too in his own private way.#yeah i'm just so. fucking normal about these guys john would burn the world down for chas and chas would do the same for him#fuck that bullshit sandman presents sacrifice he could Never. he simply could Not sacrifice chas#at least not without giving him the chance to take the reins himself. he owes chas that much agency#because chas trusts him enough to drive into the flames if john told him it was the only way. john Knows This#yeah it's fine i'm cool!!!!! about this!!!!
5 notes
·
View notes