#I'm literally so close to fucking giving it up

[colorlessjay]

I imagine that when s16 Dean pops back, s16 Cas will mention some super boring thing he and s6 Dean did together and be jealous. Hit tweet

Jealous Dean is a flavor of Dean I can never get enough of. Is it cliche? Yes. Can it be toxic? absolutely. Do I still seek it out in tags because it scratches the itch in my brain that goes 'hehehe'? almost daily

So here's my brain worms:

Dean's not an insecure man

okay because he is, but he's been working on it and Cas has definitely helped with his self-esteem over the years

And-

fuck it he's jealous. He's jealous and cranky about it and it's all his own fault

"Dean"

"What?" Dean snaps, jaw clenched as he sulks on his nice leather recliner. Yes, he's sulking. Shut up

"You're upset"

"Thanks, Captain Obvious"

"And Bitchy"

"Next you're gonna tell me I have a dick and balls"

Cas does a full-body eye-roll at Dean. Damn it it's cute but Dean's pissy and he's gonna stay pissy for as long as he can help it

"Years of marriage and being by your side, and your behavior still somehow alludes me." Cas places his book down on the coffee table before grunting. "All this crankiness over me baking your younger self a pie"

Dean can feel his heckles raise just at the thought. Because knowing Cas, it was that special honey apple pie he only bakes on Dean's birthday. That the little fucker (the asshole that is his younger self) didn't shower his husband in love and praise the second he got served a slice (not that Dean wanted his younger self to, only he got to do that). A slice made by the hands of a literal Fallen Angel of the Lord, blessed by God himself (Jack usually taste tested)

Dean sinks further into his recliner like the leather is eating him, all while Cas stands by his side, hands on his hips in a now familiar pose of annoyance, a single brow raised as he expects a reply

Jokes on Cas. That only turns Dean on

not the time

"Yeah well, the ungrateful shit didn't deserve it"

"The 'ungrateful shit' you speak of mowed our lawn, walked our dog and made me breakfast. All while trying to find a way back to his own timeline"

"Yeah well, I could've done all of that"

Cas gives him the 'Are you serious?' "You did, both 15 years ago and last week, at the same time. May I remade you, you are being jealous of yourself?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"It's ridiculous"

"It's not"

"it is" Cas insists, sounding exasperated, rolling his eyes again. Dean wants to kiss away the scrunch between his brows... Focus up, Winchester! "You have absolutely nothing to be jealous of"

"Oh so I got nothing to be jealous of when my hot angel husband was left alone with a sexually confused pent-up Hunter?" Dean scoffs and turns his head away "'slike the start of a shitty porno... Only I'm not playing the Hunter"

Dean grunts as a familiar weight lands on his lap, making him sink further into the recliner. Big hands gently grab his jaw and turn his head, locking eyes with those beautiful blue eyes that always hum with angelic grace

"Dean. You have nothing to be jealous of" Cas says slow and firm, like he's punctuating every word. His eyes dance with amusement as he stares Dean down "You wanna know why?"

Dean gulps, feeling his heart flutter already as he's hands find familiar purchase on Cas' hips "yeah..."

"Because" Cas leans close, breathing the words over Dean's lips "-

-------

-------

-------

So I realized there wasn't a part of this I could cut off so imma stop myself here and go to sleep

anyways, good night :D

[probablysimpledreams]

I'm With the Band (Band AU Dabi x reader)

a/n: EEEK I love LOV band au so much punk Touya is literally my boyfriend my muse my obsession I'm so happy I finally sat down and write a fic about him <33

cw: substances (alcohol, weed, and I always have to give Touya a cigarette LOL)

wc: 1169

"AH I'm so nervous come take this shot with me!!" your friend panicked as she jumped around the apartment kitchen. You chuckle as you accept the shot glass she hands you. Your friend has spent all day running around full of excitement and nerves as tonight she was finally meeting the guy she met online a few months ago. It just so happens that Tenko, or better known as "discord boyfriend" between you two, and his band were the opening act at a small venue nearby. You decided to attend the concert with her to offer moral support, and to make sure this guy was legit and wasn't going to kidnap your beautiful friend.

"It's going to be fine," you reassure her. "I've seen the messages that man is obsessed with you," you two clink glasses and take the shot of liquor. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Mmmmm I'm just so worried ahhh take another shot with me," your friend grabs the bottle as you roll your eyes. "Please?"

After another shot, quick smoke break, and one more pep-talk you, you two finally left the apartment. The Uber ride was about ten minutes which you were grateful for because if it had been any longer you're sure your friend would have talked herself out of going.

You two thank the driver, giggling while entering the venue. It was a nice spot, featuring two small bars and a large space for everyone to gather around the stage.

"Ohmygod there he is!" your friend whispered, pointing towards the stage as his group walked on. Since the main group wasn't going on for another hour and a half, the venue was not very crowded yet. You wasted no time grabbing your friends' hand as you ran up close to the stage. You smiled watching the two interact before the set started. You also couldn't help but notice that the bassist to Tenko's right would not stop looking at you. You smiled at him, causing him to break his gaze away from you, moving to fiddle with his instrument until the drummer came out.

"We are the L.O.V, here to carry out Stain's legacy of rock n' roll," their drummer Iguchi exclaimed before banging his drum sticks together. "LETS GET FUCKING HYPED!!" The crowd cheered as the band broke out into song. You sing along as you recognize the song from the times your friend has played it, happily showing off her boyfriend and his singing talent. But man hearing it live was such a different experience! Between the amazing sound and all the alcohol you consumed before arriving, you couldn't help but get lost in the moment. You danced happily alongside your friend, singing the words to every song they played. You couldn't help but notice the wide smirk on the mysterious bassist's face accompanied by his shiny blue eyes stuck on you throughout the set.

Once their set was over and everyone cheered, your friend ran off to meet up with Tenko. By now the venue was getting more crowded, so you decided to slip outside to catch some fresh air. As you stood in the smoking section, you happily remembered the untouched joint sitting in your jacket pocket. Sadly that happiness was short lived as you realized you didn't pack a lighter alongside it.

"Need a light?" a deep voice caused you to jump before turning your head to see who approached you. The bassist snickered at this reaction, lighting his own cigarette before holding the flame out so you could light your joint. You thank him with a quiet hum and take a puff, moving closer to him. "Saw you and your little friend dancing out there. It looked like you enjoyed our show a lot." Despite the confidence in his voice, you couldn't help but notice the way his hands were shaking nervously.

"My friend is dating your lead singer, so I had no choice but to get into your music," you teased.

"So I'm wrong in calling you a fan?" he raised an eyebrow, smirk never leaving his face. Now that you were right next to him, you were able to get a better look at him. He was tall and lanky, yet still looked very strong. He was covered in piercings, tattoos, and scars accompanied by ripped black jeans, battle vest, and distressed v-neck shirt. You were now very thankful your friend had convinced you to drink and smoke as much as you had tonight or else you would have not had the confidence to stand here and talk to the gorgeous man.

"Oh no I'm definitely a fan," you smile, taking another puff. "Helps that the bassist is so attractive." You tried your hardest to keep up a calm and sexy demeanor despite your heart trying to jump out of your chest. You were not going to fumble this!! "Though I'm sure you get that a lot."

"Yeah I hear it quite often," he chuckles, removing his cigarette from between his lips before moving in closer to you. His face was now inches away from your own, making your eyes widen. "But it's not everyday I hear it from someone as pretty as you." You felt like you were about to faint upon hearing his words, making him snicker. Before either of you could speak again, a loud crash from behind the building caught everyone's attention.

"Can someone in this band keep their dick in their pants for ONE SECOND and help me load the truck?" Iguchi angrily yelled as he loaded up a massive speaker onto the band's truck.

"Yeah Touya get over here! Hey man don't interrupt him and his game!" the man in the driver's seat called out.

"Touyaaaaa get that cutie's number!!" a young girl in buns sitting in the passenger seat chimed in. She giggled as he flicked both of them off before turning back to face you, cheeks tinted light pink.

"These idiots can't do a damn thing without me," he huffed, reaching into pocket. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and handed one to you. You looked at him confused before flipping it over where you noticed a phone number written down. He mouthed "call me," making a phone with his hands as he ran off to help pack up the truck.

Your heart fluttered as you happily went back inside to reunite with your friend, the two of you heading back to your apartment to debrief how the night went.

--------------

The next morning you had to remind yourself that the previous was not a dream, and you did in fact get Touya's number. You grab the cigarette off the night stand and typed in his phone number.

"Hello?"

"So you just keep your number on cigarettes? Bet all your fans love that," you laugh.

"Pretty romantic huh?" you can practically hear the smile as he responds. "But that's not something I usually do. See baby, you're special. Couldn't let you get away that easily."

[eyeknowyouno]

My submission for @bucktommywinterfest

Prompt: Painted nails/Uncle Tommy - Rated: G - Word Count: 1.2k

As soon as Buck opened the door, a squeal was heard, loud and giggly, an outpouring of adorable, sweet affection, quickly followed up by a very happy, "Uncle Buck!"

"There's my girl!" Buck responded, lifting the tiny bundle of energy up into the air before settling her on his hip. "Ready to have some fun?"

"Yep!" Jee said, wrapping her arms as tight as possible around Buck's neck.

Chimney, all but forgotten, cleared his throat before he handed over the duffle bag that was clearly bursting at the seams, full of everything Jee would need for an overnight in the loft. "Pretty sure that's her entire bedroom."

Buck grinned. "Good. It'll make things easier when I refuse to give her back "

"You'll be counting the minutes until morning by the third playthrough of Frozen. Trust me."

Buck stepped back, allowing his brother-in-law to come inside. "Maddie in the car?"

Chim nodded. "Her feet are swollen, and she didn't want to tackle your stairs. The second pregnancy is not fun, apparently." He leaned against the kitchen island. "Where's Tommy?"

Buck nodded towards the ingredients laid out across his table. "He ran out to get a few things I forgot to pick up earlier. Should be back soon." He carefully placed Jee down into one of the chairs so she could grab a handful of shredded cheese. "We're making personal pizzas and then cookies!"

Chim nodded. "Nice." He bent down to be eye level with his daughter. "Have fun and only annoy your Uncle Buck a tiny little bit, okay?"

"Go, Daddy!" She ordered, waving him away with one hand as the other grabbed a fistful of m&ms.

He chuckled at her feistiness, gave her a kiss on top of her head, and left to go have a nice date night with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife.

-----

To say that Tommy wasn't nervous for this night would be... well, it was fucking lie through and through.

He, Tommy Kinard, army vet, firefighter pilot of the LAFD was absolutely terrified of the little girl who currently occupied her uncle's lap as she threw clumps of cheese onto her personal pizza before they tossed it in the oven.

She was the tiniest person in Buck's life, and somehow, her opinion of him seemed like the most important opinion of all. Her small frame was literally made up of both Buck's flesh and blood along with the 118. She represented everything that was precious to Evan Buckley.

Tommy cleared his throat, closing the door behind him as he sat the bag of items that he had volunteered to go get for Evan on the counter. "I think I got everything."

"Who are you?"

He glanced up at Evan, nerves shoving him into some horrendous state of overthinking. He saw Evan nod encouragingly at him, and it helped him relax enough to sit down in the opposite chair and stick out his hand to her. "Tommy Kinard, and who are you?"

"I'm Jee-Yun." She wiped her hands on her jean overalls and shook the tips of Tommy's fingers. "I'm almost four!"

"Yeah? Well, I'm almost forty."

She giggled at that and then turned back to her pizza, using the pepperoni to make a smiley face. "When I'm done, we can watch Frozen." She stated to the entire room.

Evan's eyes were bright and happy as he grinned at Tommy above her little head. "Sounds great, Jee."

----

Tommy learned very quickly that watching a movie with Jee was an experience like no other.

She had to assign seats, which wasn't horrible because all she did was sit snuggled up between Tommy and Buck. But she also needed her juice boxes along with popcorn (while her pizza cooled) and her pink princess unicorn cat fluffy blanket.

But as Tommy watched the movie, Jee would also occasionally watch 𝘩𝘪𝘮, making sure he was reacting appropriately to the actions taking place on the screen.

Apparently, every scene that involved the sisters in the movie required dramatic gasps and 'oh wows' with the occasional 'what?!' thrown in for good measure. As for the reindeer and the snowman, they required laughs at everything they did. No excuses.

But his favorite parts of the movie had to be the musical numbers.

Jee would get up and stand in front of the television while she sang and danced along with the characters. Her innocence and pure joy from a silly song about a snowman wanting to experience summer for the first time was something Tommy never knew he needed in his life but he knew he'd be forever grateful to be here in this moment and witness it.

As the credits played on the screen, Tommy got up and began collecting their plates and bowls and crushed up juice boxes. He threw the trash away and placed the rest in the sink, all the while listening to Jee ask Evan what his favorite parts of the film were.

Before he knew it, a tiny hand was yanking on his pants. "Well? What did you like?"

Tommy rinsed out the last bowl, placing it in the dish rack before answering. "The songs. Definitely."

She scoffed and looked up at him. "Yeah, no, duuuh! But what one is the best?"

Evan picked her up. "Jee, maybe Tommy liked all the songs."

She tilted her head at Tommy. "Is that true?"

Tommy nodded. "Your uncle's right. I liked them all."

She squinted her eyes at him as if she had the ability to peer deep down inside his soul until finally she grinned and gave a quick nod. "Me too!"

-----

Jee demanded that the movie play again in the background while the three of them made cookies and played candy land. Tommy found himself wanting the night to last just a little bit longer. He already knew he loved spending time with Evan and his family but watching the connection he had with Jee... it made his heart swell and he longed for more nights just like this filled with Disney songs and laughter and silly games.

When the oven timer went off, signaling the cookies were finished baking, Jee stood up in her chair and loudly announced that they would all have makeovers while the cookies cooled.

Evan looked exhausted by this news. "Why don't we just watch another movie, Jee? Last time we played makeover, I had glitter in my hair for almost a week."

Jee crossed her arms and pouted. "But you looked prettiful!"

Tommy chuckled at that. "I'm sure you looked 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 prettiful with glitter in your hair, Uncle Buck." He winked. "I'd love to see it."

Evan groaned and dramatically dropped his head on the table, to which Jee was unimpressed.

"Fine! If you don't 'preciate my glitter, then you won't be able to go to my tea party." She huffed in annoyance when she didn't get a reaction from him and quickly climbed down from her chair.

"Come on, Uncle Tommy!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the living room. "I have all the nail polish you could want!"

Evan looked up suddenly at her use of 'Uncle Tommy' and smirked at the happy tears threatening to fall from Tommy's eyes. "Okay, fine. You win." Evan said, "If Uncle Tommy is doing it, I guess I'll do it too."

[joces-wrld]

𖦹✶𓏲ּ꩜ .ᐟ midnight shopping

✩ blurb!

IN WHICH— fratboy! chris hits the jackpot and decides to take tomboy! reader shopping

| no warnings! enjoy <3

"i got bandssssss" chris announces, nonchalantly walking into your dorm, spreading a stack of hundred dollar bills on his arm

"hello to you too, christopher"

"lets go shopping, wanna spoil you" "its literally almost 11pm?" "and? i know these outlets that're opened till like 2am, its 30 minutes away, cmon ma?"

"chris im in pajamas and i already took my makeup off" you protest, watching him shake his head. "already told you you dont need that shit", you sigh, "give me 10 minutes to do my eyeliner and mascara?"

the boy rolls his eyes, grabbing your hand and dragging you out the door. "chris! what the hell?!" "you look good like this ma. barefaced, in spiderman pajamas and uggs, prime y/n right here" you roll your eyes, "well its like 40 degrees out here, imma freeze to death" "relax will you? i have an extra jacket in the car"

minutes later, the 2 of you were on the way to the outlets, chris allowing you to have aux. "where'd you even get all that money from? like i know you make money selling, but never that much, not in less than a week at least" "oh yeah, there's more by the way" "WHAT?!?" "yeah, got this new shit and it's selling quickly" "i can tell..." you mumble, putting the sun visor down and opening the mirror

"EW! chris what the hell?! i look so ugly. i no joke look deceased, i NEED my makeup", you can practically hear chris' eyeroll, watching him shake his head in annoyance. "you're so dramatic. i think you look pretty" he mumbles that last part, ears turning red. you smile slightly, deciding to spare him by changing the topic. "so where's your jacket?" "behind your seat"

you reach back and see a black zip up, you grab it and quickly shrug it on, taking your uggs off to cross your legs on top of the seat. "if you were anyone else, i would literally kick you out" "awww, im special" you snicker, watching as he shakes his head, smiling nonetheless. the 2 of you fall into a comfortable silence, watching as cars pass by, that is until Open Arms by SZA comes on. you gasp dramatically, repeatedly hitting chris' arm

"what the fuck?!" "i LOVE this song!!" you turn the volume up to max, grabbing the boys phone and opening snapchat, recording yourself and chris singing along

"i hate myself to make you stay. push me away, i'll be right here" you sing, admiring chris through the screen, watching as his head bops along to the beat. "with open, open, open arms. open arms, you keep me open, im so devoted, you keep me open, open arms, im so devoted to you, to you, to you" you motion towards chris with your head, a big smile plastered on your face

"no matter what come between us, yeah, i decided, i'm forever riding, we forever guided" chris raps, stopping due to a red light. "drew my favorite color, now you seeing every shade of me" he quickly turns his head, clearly dedicating those lyrics to you. his mouth opens wide in surprise when he notices you were recording, "locked in for life, on God, no replacing me" you rap back, watching him hide his smile by turning back to face the road, stepping on the gas as the light turns green

the song soon ends, you stopping the video and saving it to his camera roll, sending it to yourself before closing his phone. "you really love sza, dontcha?" "hell yeah i do. she's like, one of my top 3 artists" the boy nods to your words, turning onto some street. 10 minutes later he turns into a parking lot. "we're here, ma"

you and chris exit his car, walking towards the stores. they were surprisingly not too empty, of course they weren't packed, but you could tell there was a good chunk of people at every store. "where to?" you mumble, slipping the hood of chris' jacket on. "they have a starbucks, so lets go there first, get something warm"

-

"what happened to something warm" you sarcastically ask, watching as chris sips his caramel frappuccino. "change of plans" he mumbles, watching as you sip on your macchiato. "come on, they got a lids somewhere"

you happily follow him, not a thought in your mind as you admire your surroundings. walking into the store, you notice it was fairly empty, no more than 7 people in there. "hey guys, need any help?" an employee asks, chris shaking his head no. "no thank you" you verbally say, offering a small smile. "alright, well if you do just let me know"

you slightly zone out after that, just staring at chris as he pick hats up and down. he does that for a while, finally settling on a light grey one with a light khaki visor. he nods his head and looks for another one, quickly finding it and calling out to you

"try this on, ma" you nod your head and take your hood off, popping the hat on. chris does the same with his hat and pulls his phone out, going to the camera app. "oh they're the same!" you exclaim, a big smile immediately forming on your face. chris quickly snaps a picture before putting his phone away, "yeah dummy, thats the point"

your mouth falls into an 'o' shape, realizing thats why he took a while to settle on a hat, he was searching for one that had your hat size. "stay here, imma go pay" he instructs, walking off to the register. he returns moments later, no hats in hand??

"had to embroid sum on them" he mumbles, grabbing your hand and leading you out the hat store and towards a bath and body works. "nicks been wanting some new candle that came out so imma go look for it. get whatever you want, dont matter how much" he says, going off towards the candles

you smirk slightly, grabbing a bag and getting to work. walking towards your go to scent, you grab 2 bottles of the fragrance mist, a bottle of lotion, and another bottle of body cream. you then go towards a thousand wishes, grabbing a body wash and a mini fragrance as you needed a restock. with a nod, you go find chris

you're quick to spot him, 3 candles in his grasp. "for nick," he shows you the pistachio honey milk candle, "for matt," mahogany coconut, "and for you, saw you were running low" you smile, your favorite candle being placed inside the bag alongside the others

"is this it?" the boy asks, slightly disappointed in how little you got. "i think so?" "you get that strawberry shit you like?" your eyes widen, how could you forget about your soap and hand sanitizer?!? you quickly run to get them before standing in line with chris

-

it was now 1:50am, 10 minutes before the outlets closed. you and chris loaded with shopping bags, he truly had spoiled you. you got 3 new pairs of jeans from levi's, some 2 pairs of jorts from gap, along with overall shorts, 3 or 4 shirts from h&m, a restock on your skin care items, the one size setting spray, another liquid eyeliner, elf lip oils, pimple patches, face masks, a pair of ugg minis in the color chestnut, some timberland boots, white crocs (with random jibits chris liked) the stuff from bath and body works and the hat; which had a small C♡ embroidered into it (his had your initial with a heart as well)

"i think you bought me too much stuff" you say, stuffing bags into the trunk and backseats. "not all of it is for you, i bought matt and nick stuff too" "yeah, but the majority of the stuff is mine.....i feel bad" "nonsense" he waves his hand, dismissing your statement like nothing. "now lets go get some food"

a/n: STOP THIS SUCKS but this is like my LONGEST draft, its been sitting in my drafts for a fat minute. feedback is appreciated :) i hope you enjoyed!

once again, dividers from @dollywons

[tuliptiger]

Bro I hate Silco so much. Bro. And don't get it twisted right. He's a good character, he's well written or in THE VERY LEAST incredibly interesting and compelling. To me I guess. I still can't stand him, I hate him and I think he embodies every human flaw a person can have. And every bad decision we make at our lowest points.

And for that I can't stand him in the purest way and I think that's kind of awesome. Get him out of my face though lol fuck that guy. Great presentation of what I feel a lot of people in the world are like or have the potential to be like rn.

For what he was meant to be, having just found out the original plan for him which I really shouldn't consider. Or maybe I should in favor of him, as a little grace for him. I guess Jinx and him were supposed to be like romantic. If that's your thing go for it I guess but I'm not going to talk nicely about it and it disgusts me as a heads up. Fair warning.

I'm forever grateful they didn't pull a Joker/Harley Quinn but because jesus christ I think I actually would've hated Arcane for that. For all you people complaining about Arcane, sure that's your right and it's all personal tastes anyway but it could've been actually, sincerely awful. It would've ruined Jinx as a character and undercut all of her nuance, her autonomy as a real, deeply thought out character. Her struggles, her mental health, her trauma, it would've fucking sucked.

I hate Silco for even the possibility of that and unfortunately i think it explains a little bit about some things. But anyway, back to hating Silco.

1.) He betrayed every single thing he's ever cared about in his life. He betrayed Felicia by trying to and knowingly kill her children. He betrayed the promise he made to not JUST Vander but to Felicia and himself.

Because what? Vander betrayed him first? Because he tried to kill him? Because he probably does feel genuine regret about maybe enacting the event that got Felicia killed? We never get the story but I think it's implied. Either that or Vander really was just deep in grief and rage and put that on Silco. I think they both fucked up for the record but Vander didn't CONTINUE that for the rest of his life.

What did any of that have to do with Vi and Powder/Jinx though? He's the reason everything bad happened, maybe you could blame Viktor since he went back to give Jayce the rune but every bad moment after that is almost exclusively Silco.

2.) He bribed Marcus contributing to the corruption in Piltover and Zaun. He fed drugs to Zaun for the point of nothing in my opinion. Because he couldn't come to terms with his grief, he couldn't make Piltover pay the way he wanted them too? He justified his own terrible actions for some idea of an independent Zaun for what? For who? Piltover may have taken from him but he actively chose to burn whatever he had left by trying to kill Powder and Vi.

3.) He's the reason Vi and her crew lost their loot, and their lives NOT Powder. He's the reason or at least the means for Singed to create more fucked up abominations and shimmer.

4.) He IS A HUGE SOFTIE he's soft as fuck. He loves and he loves deeply but he could never get over himself to do better. And this is possibly the main reason I hate him, he sincerely loved Vander and Jinx and Felicia and Zaun. People get hurt all the time, and it isn't the same as the trauma he faced but I DON'T think a reasonable series of decisions is to betray everything you are and have worked for to fuck over literally everyone around you. He is the scorched earth method, he wanted to hurt everyone and everything for what he felt and experienced. He's so incredibly selfish I cannot stand him.

5. A close contender, maybe even tied because I love Jinx so much. I hate that he is directly related to all of the hurt Vi and Jinx have experienced. I hate, I loath, I detest what he did to Powder and to Jinx. I feel so fed with season 2 episode 7, we DIRECTLY see what happens when Silco doesn't decide every day to hurt the world around him and hurt everyone in it. What happens to Powder without his fucked up influence.

I never thought anyone made Jinx specifically, like there isn't someone to blame because it felt diminishing to Jinx herself. But I'm rethinking it, I would say with certainty Jinx wouldn't have existed without Silco. I don't give him full credit, not in the creation of her and not her herself but the REASON she was reborn into a different person. Powder and Jinx created Jinx, but she created her because she had to, because Silco brought her into a fucked up world where she had to be different to survive.

Silco didn't support her, he enabled her, made her fear the world, fed her insecurities and projected himself into her. And because he does love, he really really did love her I think, that was what she felt she needed as a TWELVE year old girl. She needed a guardian who had her best interest at heart and not just love. Whatever support she had before, he ripped it from her and shredded it, and from that pile of rubble and ash Jinx had to find herself and emerge. But she picked herself up and chiseled herself into who she is in the series not Silco.

She's smart as a whip, she's so incredibly clever. She knew to some extent the reality of what was happening. But reality didn't have any real gravity anymore for her without something to hold her to it. Silco, at any time, could have stopped what he was doing. He could've seen her hurting and said, this isn't it. This isn't worth it. But he didn't, and she didn't need a reason to change because she had someone who fed her love when she had no one. When she thought it was all her fault and where Silco tried to convince her Vander and Vi weren't good people and that they didn't love her, won't love her.

I could go on, I fucking hate Silco. Once again, I think he's the weakest character emotionally and mentally but certainly not writing wise. He's spineless, he can kill sure, but in the main universe he couldn't get over his own feelings of guilt and hurt to do better. Nobody is satisfied with the slow progression of equity, of freedoms and peace. Silco wanted to take it all violently, take it all and take everything around it down with him.

In another universe, he's better. He makes better decisions because a different set of events led to reconciliation between Vander and him. Because Piltover made the first move of peace after Vi had to be sacrificed. Because Marcus saw a dead Zaun child in the arms of her younger sister. Because a lot of things, Silco is a better man and I think he's stronger for it.

The main universe Silco was wrong about everything he did, he made every possible bad decision on purpose over and over and over again.

The fact that I just wrote what feels like an essay on this bastard should at least show how I hate him, in the way I don't like hate hate him. I hate him in the way good art makes you hate it in just the right way. I think he's interesting enough to think about. I don't hate the alt universe Silco, I just hate the main one. He's multifaceted, he's a villain, he just kind of sucks, he moved the story in permanent ways. He forever changed the world by facilitating the events that led to Jinx as a person in Runeterra.

Anyway Yeah I really really hate Silco. Thanks for reading lol If you have some good points or different interpretations of events with Silco I would genuinely love to read them especially if they are different. I'm the first to admit I don't fully understand all the subtleties in Arcane and I love it for that, but I miss things. Changing my view on what actually happened in scenes is one of my favorite things to do right now. I crave the richer and fuller offering of a closely inspected Arcane provides tbh.

[royhasissues]

I'm gonna put this here bc I don't know if I'll ever write it.

I had an AU where Lethica was a queen and Marius her knight. He was essentially her body guard and was always at her side.

Marius is a human and not a vampire because that wouldn't make sense lol. Lethica is still a drow and she still wears her mask (the owl one). Honestly, she looks hot as hell in my mind lol. The mask has something to do with the beliefs of the kingdom and all that idk. Recently, someone mentioned that Marius should just worship Strygga if he gets a redemption arc, so I'm incorporating that because I didn't know what god to choose at first (I also know NOTHING about Strygga...).

Marius is wholly devoted to his queen and that devotion turns to love at some point during the fic. He has a lot of angst about this because she's literally the QUEEN lol. Not only is he not worthy of her (in his opinion), but she's also supposed to marry royalty and all that. He's guilty because it feels a bit like a betrayal of her trust to have such feelings... He does his best to quash these feelings and just do his job.

But he would do anything for her. I had some scenes where other ruler/viceroy/proxy were somewhat dismissive/rude to Lethica during a meeting and he gets all up in arms about it and Lethica has to tell him to relax lol.

Little does silly Marius know, but his feelings are requited. Lethica does not have such angst, but she does keep her feelings close to her chest for some time.

They have a lot of moments were they like almost say/do something, you know? Like they'll have a moment and stare just a little too long or he'll protect her and be very worried about her well-being. All that fun stuff! :D

Despite being her most trusted knight, Marius has not seen her face. Of course, there would be a scene where he does, and it would likely be quite similar to canon. It's so over for him after that because she's beautiful lol. I'm imagining him covering his eyes like, "My queen!!!"

Lethica instigates most of the time, she'll flirt and compliment him (praise kink) and he'll get all flustered but he doesn't reciprocate, obviously.

At some point marriage would be discussed between the two. Just that Lethica should marry a king at some point and Marius is all sad about it (but he can't let her know that! He tries to be very professional). Lethica doesn't give a shit about marrying royalty, she likes her little knight. He's confused about how blase she is about it. She doesn't tell him that it's because she's more interested in him.

At some point it would all come out and they'd get together. Marius assumes it's kind of a clandestine thing and that she'll still marry royalty some day. He would be wrong. She says Fuck the rules, I'll marry whoever I want. And Marius is like :O

Happy ending :)

Jericho is the court jester.

I did kind of think about the other characters, but I don't think they'd really be in it that much. This is about religious levels of devotion lol. My favorite Lethicus dynamic is Marius absolutely worshiping Lethica... heh.

I've had this idea for MONTHS and I love it a lot, but idk if I'll ever be able to write it :/

[thisismycorneroftheinternet]

Fucking how tf am I supposed to not feel like shit and always anxious if shit never fucking improves?? I am not that fucking self-deluded to fool myself into thinking this is still a good situation somehow. Yeah sure, there's always deeper in the hole, thank fuck I am not literally digging through the trash for bones to get some protein in my meals like the poor in this city that got featured in that grotesque, horror circus-style magazine story I remember reading about in the pandemic, but that sort of thought does not make life any easier when you're still having to rely on free food that takes you a total of 2h to get, per meal, and now donations from your sister's fiancee to get by the month.

And then yet I have to deal with my sister fucking throwing a hissy fit at any time I fucking complain about (1) thing, but also debase any fucking medical help I'm trying to get because apparently according to her, I'm not that bad off and should suck it the fuck up and "learn to manage (my) own stress better" while being completely unhelpful on that front besides telling me to meditate, which doesn't fucking solve shit??? And then she also gets mad when I have to whine and cry to our mother to not let her try to cut off our little assistance, because apparently that's begging and I should not be begging I should be demanding, when our parents are literally sinking into debt more and more and our mother can barely afford to pay the taxes for her freelance job??

Like, I'm going to fucking walk in on Tuesday to the health clinic, and update them on my deteriorating mental health, and it's going to fucking be the same fucking old adage of "you should exercise for your anxiety, you should learn to organize yourself better, you should manage your ADHD without meds, you should stress less" which is so fucking unhelpful as well. Platitudes like that I already get from the fucking web as well, Instagram loves to fucking show me WellnessTM posts on the greatness of exercise and being thankful for life, why am I fucking taking hours of my day every other month to hear that as well from people I was trying to seek some sort of further help??

And like, in general, I feel like I am going circles, and nothing ever gets better, only worser and worser, and like, I am really grateful for my sister's fiancee's kindness, but like, I've been the entire month trying to not get to this. Yes, because it's humiliating, yes I'm fucking prideful and I feel like I am an able enough adult that I should not need to depend on others' kindness to eat! But also because like, I am able enough to work, I have all sorts of skills, and I am more than fucking willing to do whatever it takes, but no one wants me regardless. And worse, it's pointless to seek a full-on job because university fucking gets in the way of everything, because I fucking switched to day classes because of my family's insistence, because I entered university in night classes originally and that offended them enough that they bothered me about it, and now I'm paying the price.

And then I talk to my one university friend, and she's like "yeah I'm struggling as well" and I try to commiserate with her, because that's what one does, it's like, I realize I'm struggling way more with way less than her. Yes, sure, she had to drop university twice, but also, she's doing 40h a week of classes, and undergrad research, and was sleeping like, 4h a night. No fucking wonder she snapped twice. Meanwhile I can barely get above 14h of credit/hours without flunking something, and even when I pass it's barely scraping by. How come she's being more seriously contemplated for ADHD and anxiety and all than I am?? I guess it's because I have to rely on the free clinic, while she's on her military daddy's insurance plan. God, I don't want to resent her, but I came so close to snapping at her in the group chat when she told me that she's struggling because she can barely sleep, and sure she's seeing stuff like I used to when I slept little, but she "just ignores it and it's fine!" while I used to be terrified I'd get killed by the fucking Balloon Boy from FNAF and shadow demons when I underslept.

God, fucking hell, I swear to fucking god, I am trying so fucking hard to act normal and be normal and not be a fucking mess but even that's hard and worsening my anxiety. And yet I don't get any help that sticks.

[elvisqueso]

Pocahontas (1995): 3 times Pocahontas is compared to her mother + 1 time she's recognized on her own merits.

rambling lil meta under the cut

see, what's crazy about this whole situation is that it makes me wonder what exactly pocahontas's mom was like to have left such a massive impression on literally everyone in their community? there's that outright statement that "yeah, your mom's spirit is in the wind, basically, and our people venerate her as a spiritual guide (at the very least)." we know that she's the main connection between pocahontas and grandmother willow, and there's an implication in there that whatever leadership role she held in the village is expected to fall on pocahontas's shoulders someday.

i am so convinced that this role is some kind of spiritual leader/shaman position. wise-woman, priestess, whatever it's called. we don't see anyone else besides kekata performing any kind of spiritual rites, and even he isn't seen acting in direct contact with spiritual entities. kekata has to perform chants, provide offerings, and use a medium. pocahontas can just fuckign. talk to the things. how is she doing that? why isn't anyone else really able to do that? john smith could talk with grandmother willow but would he be able to if pocahontas wasn't there (i actually think he could but that's a different post)? has she ever done that for literally anybody else? nakoma never mentions grandmother willow. nobody mentions grandmother willow. apparently, the only two people who knew about her before pocahontas brought her new bf over was pocahontas and her mom.

i'm losing track of myself here, but the point is pocahontas is Highly aware of the ghost she's expected to live up to. and it sucks. and there's a lot more to her character arc about this but the eventual come-around to accepting that she has a responsibility to be more than herself and more than her mother's ghost is so heartbreaking because it also meant she had to let go of her soulmate at the same time so i c ry

[rustycottoncandy]

I should draw my fursona more often

[otome-dissection]

Finished yakuza 7

Holy shit

Ryo Aoki

[ectonurites]

almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

my various mental issues make liking people so hard because i already put people on a pedestal to begin with if i genuinely like them so i am automatically laying myself at their feet like a dog but then i wrestle with the ego death of seeing that they're just a human being who is capable of being wrong and stupid and annoying me and it kind of makes me sick to my stomach not because i expect people to be perfect but because i know if i had like 5 minutes to sit down and talk to this person i would feel more secure in knowing where they stand on any given thing. but you aren't granted that when you just like some random guy who will never know you because you can't take the feeling of someone who could actually know you. or whatever.

[motherhenna]

So today was my first day teaching an after school elective theater class (10+ 2nd 3rd 4th grade girls) and holy shit y'all I have even more respect for teachers now than ever before because that was BRUTAL lmao it was like they could smell my fear and knew they could trample all over me. Maybe my viewpoint is skewed, seeing as I was a really meek, easygoing kid at that age, but I can't fathom just...blatantly ignoring the teacher when they tell you not to do something. I get theater is a bit more loosey goosey but damn I can't imagine treating any of my past theater teachers (or any adult for that matter) with such disregard. Hoping that they were just crazy because it was their first day back at school after summer break and they'll mellow out a tiny bit by next week.

There were two super sweet and responsible 4th graders that I'm probably going to have to lean on to get through to some of their classmates. Like appoint them "team leaders" or whatever.

Either way, no more Ms. Pushover next Wednesday--Miss Helen is gonna lay down the fucking LAW lol I'm going to print out a set of class rules and expectations and have the kids repeat them back to me, and I may invest in a fucking whistle to cut through how loud they can get. If any of y'all have a background in teaching or otherwise dealing with large groups of children, feel free to drop any tips or suggestions you might have to get a handle on a rowdy crowd of munchkins and gremlins without yelling or being overly strict.

[alongtidesoflight]

i hate going to the hairdresser so much

[goldentigerfestival]

something I really love about Yuri's character growth between childhood and teenhood is how... relaxed, openly nurturing, sillier, and happier he became.

I think a lot about how sometimes I feel like Yuri was a bit too harsh with the other kids. like, yes, they did a LOT of dumb things, but I think Yuri's reactive responses, which were understandable annoyance and aggravation at their behavior, could've been better solved with calmness and softer tones. if he had gently nudged the other kids when they all went outside the barrier to be quieter for instance, such as suggesting Jareth simply sing extremely softly (thus being accepting of his feelings and happiness outside the barrier but still warning him/reminding him to be careful), I think the other kids would've been more receptive. I think if he'd been understanding about their excitement and just softly urged them to be happy but quietly, they could've avoided more problems.

and I think that's really noticeable in how Yuri acts as an adult and as a teen. he is softer in his voice - something he started doing as a teen. he's less reactive and more likely to speak softly and understandingly, even at times that he feels he needs to be firm. as a teen, his first reaction to situations that he's not fond of in relation to Flynn, Jareth and Jiri aren't as whiplash emotional. he's more understanding and more likely to stop and think about how to respond. he gets emotional, but he doesn't react in outbursts anymore. by the time he's an adult, it takes a lot to get Yuri angry, and he also cools off very easily.

Jareth especially is a big one. as kids, Yuri used to get snappy at things he did. as a teen, he instead gets quiet. he'll raise some concerns and he won't hide if he's bothered, but he's much calmer about it and more openly worried than he is annoyed. as a kid, Jareth acted out if he was yelled at. they had this sort of back and forth, push and pull relationship sometimes. but if Yuri had been more receptive to Jareth as children, Jareth might not have been so pushy about his responses (or to Flynn in turn).

and of course they were just seven year old kids, so like, of course Yuri didn't really have that logic pipeline, but that's what I love about his progression to his teenage years. by then he does have that ability to make a logical conclusion. when Jareth is upsetting him at dinner, he voices his concerns, but he doesn't snap at him. when he's worried about Jareth's behavior, he's quiet and thinking about it and it's noticed by Flynn, but Yuri doesn't react to it in any way that would put Jareth on the defensive like he did as a child.

I just really love the huge differences in his personality and his reactionary behavior between the child and teen arc. I know I joke about teen Yuri being a perfect little baby angel and the sweetest little guy ever, but I do really think he's at his best and happiest in the teen arc than he is in any Vesperia media that's prior to post game. like, after the game's timeline, I think Yuri is starting to heal from all the emotional damage he's had since his teenage years (that's a whole other post I've already made LOL). I just think that Yuri would be a very different person as an adult if Jiri and Jareth hadn't died and if Flynn hadn't moved away after that insanity. I think if all the chaos hadn't happened in the teen arc that Yuri would have become a very different person based on who he was as a teen.

[ladyseidr]

william "me and my Perfect Societally-Idealized Family" af.ton vs. jayne being a polyamorous lesbian who regularly scandalizes people on purpose and knows william is bullshitting himself ( even if he won't hear it )