#I'm kinda proud of myself for writing this

[vechter]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

tagged by @malinaa my beloved <3 tagging: @acediscowlng @androxys @burins @danishsweethearts @daringyounggrayson @mintchocochipsposts and anyone else who hasn't been tagged yet!!!

number of stories posted to ao3: i kinda went crazy in the second half of the year... 4 fics although 3 are one-shots

word counted posted for last year: 46,426 of which LBIA is a whopping 40,444 oops

fandoms i wrote for: dc comics

pairings: dickroy... my brand and my heart <3

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: look back in anger sweep with 432 kudos, 277 bookmarks and 71 comment threads

work i’m most proud of (and why): gotta be look back in anger just bc it was a huge undertaking... for the 2 months before i posted the first chapter, i was furiously consumed by thoughts of it every free moment... so to finally get it out was just a catharsis... relief and a moment of pride

work i’m least proud of (and why): angie, they can't say we never tried because it was just a way for me to avoid writing the final chapter of LBIA lmao and i think it kinda shows in the writing... like it feels like a very surface level read? it's sweet but it's just a bit lacklustre

share or describe a favorite review you received: anything mintchocochips comments bc she's so good at pinpointing the metaphors and the moments that are integral to the scene... like it rlly feels like she really considers each line with love and that's so, so wonderful to hear <3 also this one just hit me rlly hard too:

(special shoutout to lys's long-winded threats on shaking it off to find a higher low... consider me endeared and scared bb)

a time when writing was really, really hard: can i say this whole year... like fr the first half of this year was a LOT so i had ideas but they never came to fruition. also november. fuck that month.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: listen... i write what i love so anytime you guys see dickroy in my fics, it should not be a surprise. but the dick & garth scene in chapter 1 of LBIA was very fun for me bc we don't often see garth get the same love as the other members of the fab five (i'm guilty of it myself sadly)... and i just thought it was such a missed opportunity for them to connect and mull over their respective deaths + subsequent resurrections. so, to write that was really interesting bc i wanted the tether of the titans to be a different thing for them post-death.

a favourite excerpt of your writing:

i've posted a part of this before but i looove this section from it builds and builds and builds:

It’s exhausting trying to keep track of Dick’s faith in him. The glow of moments Dick will trust him implicitly, the gut-punch when Nightwing is implacable, even to him. He doesn’t know how Dick does it— how he lives like that, the uncontrolled chaos of his mind that can either be a deadly laser or an explosive bomb on a dime. There’s no pattern to it at all; Roy thought he knew all there was to know about fickleness after Ollie but Dick’s always proving him wrong. (The first lesson Oliver Queen taught him: when you pull back the bowstring, you learn how to let go.)

how did you grow as a writer last year: bro i regressed... i used to be capable of writing happy endings... i don't think i remember how to do that anymore. but tbh, i did get a lot into the visual considerations and rhetoric of prose + how it contributes to overall mood while reading. it's why LBIA is so fragmented and so densely littered with indents/parentheses.

how do you hope to grow this year: i need to write less vignette based stuff and focus more on building a flow of events in the same chunk of text... i would like to be capable of moving from point A to point B on screen itself.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): @dandeeliion elle you were the first person to really hear about LBIA and you're one of the main reasons i got the courage to put the fic out so you have my unending love and appreciation. also, @ekleiipsis for listening to all my rants... i love you mar <3 also big shoutout to the gc for just generally gassing me up and loving my writing it means the world 🥺

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: hahahah... what if you had been performing your whole life and you didn't know who you were when that performance was taken away... what then

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: a first draft is a first draft no matter how shitty you may think it is

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: pre-flashpoint long fic with a focus on dick, donna and roy + their respective traumas during dickbats era/blackest night/rise of arsenal. also really want to write a dick and cass case fic where their individual strengths and weaknesses are highlighted... only for the power of teamwork to save them ultimately <3

[magical-wishies]

Hello again and happy new year!! ❤️ We're entering 2025!

It's probably not midnight yet for a lot of you folks, but it is January 1st for me in my timezone!

Thank you for all your support throughout 2024. I know I haven't been as active as before, but I appreciate those of you have stuck around regardless! I wish you all a wonderful new year, and let's continue enjoying the moment together!

🎉

And of course, a yearly artist summary is needed..

Overall, I'm quite satisfied for this year's art! With the experience I got from 2023, I could finally match my skill level with the ideas I came up with and push my limits.

Now that I've kinda gotten the basics down, in 2025 I want to start making a presence for myself! What does that mean? Well, I'd like to:

1. Post more variety (Sketches, snippets of writing)

2. Improve more (Use references, do stuff :P)

3. Have fun!!! (Do whatever I like :D)

These are my goals for 2025. I hope I can work on them steadily!! See you next year 🌟

Extra (I just want to shout out my favourite projects from this year!)

"Wonderland in the sky" (January for the art summary) is currently sitting at a whopping 700-or-so notes! I was really proud of it since it's my first animated art. Thank you for the love!

Also, I loved participating in Marxolor Week 2024! I never thought that a ship week for my favourite characters could actually come into fruition, but I'm so glad it did! Co-managing it was a blast, and I loved seeing everyone's beautiful art. Special thanks to Dess for organising the whole thing and making "Marxolor Day" real!

(Though, I did push myself a little too hard to finish the art... avoiding that next time ^^')

Last but certainly not least, a very, very special thank you to everyone who supported Darling Dance! It was a very tough and time-consuming project, but I'm so happy with the final result (^^)

My personal goal for it was 1000 views, and it's currently sitting at 1272! If there's one thing I really hope I can do in 2025, it's making another MV.

That's a wrap for now! Thank you for reading all that text, I just had so many things I want to say!! And thank you for enduring through all the thank yous! There's very few words that can describe my gratitude towards everyone that's ever looked at or complimented my work.

It's 4AM, so I'm gonna dip out now... Sweet dreams and once again, Happy New Year 🎉🌟💕

[taffywabbit]

it feels weird to finally get a year where I get to say this but I think maybe 2024 actually WAS my year. hopefully not the last, but it really feels like the first, at least in a long time. I was stagnant and static and drifting without much momentum in any direction for quite a while, and then suddenly this year:

I finally moved into a solo apartment and am no longer living in a house with an ever-shifting pool of like 5 roommates. having my own quiet comfy space to cook and relax and be nocturnal without bothering anyone has been HUGE for my mental health

I worked very hard to recoup the money I lost from that move and got myself in a fairly stable and comfortable position again, work-wise

I finally started HRT in June, after about 5 years of waiting/struggling to find a doctor/fear/general motivation issues. which absolutely kicks ass and is probably the highlight of the whole year if I had to pick just one

I also finally got diagnosed with ADHD and (with a little trial and error) got medicated for it, which is another thing I've been trying to sort out for like 6 years. hey did you know executive dysfunction and problems with memory/task management/motivation make it really hard to go through the process of getting treated for the cause of those symptoms? wild huh

I rekindled a much closer relationship with a couple of my younger siblings, especially the elder of my two sisters, and we have really nice chats fairly regularly now (crazy considering we did nothing but fight constantly for like 20 years lol)

I came out fully to my family, for better or worse, and MOST of them have been surprisingly chill and supportive about it

I worked on a little game project with a friend for a couple months! it didn't end up working out but I learned a lot from the experience

I started doing WAY more personal art and kinda rediscovered my passion for it, and as a result I've progressed a lot stylistically and technically within the past few months

I beat Pseudoregalia 94 times since the first time I tried it in February. not really an achievement on the same level as all this other stuff but I'm still proud of it

like idk! there were a lot of rough patches this year and I was honestly pretty burnt out for the first half of it, but 2024 still feels like the year where I bundled up all my frustration about going nowhere with my life and achieving none of my goals and turned it into fuel to just blaze through a bunch of stuff in the back half. I wish I'd done a lot of it sooner, but life has been reminding me a lot lately that it really IS better late than never, so I'm trying to keep that perspective in mind and not let the idea of a ticking clock intimidate me like it used to. I am trying to be optimistic that 2025 will allow me to continue this momentum. we'll see I guess!

idk if I really have any resolutions per se? I guess I'd really like to make music more often in 2025, even if it's just small things I do in one or two sittings occasionally instead of full songs. I started writing a song this year, with lyrics and everything, and then didn't finish putting it together, so at the very least I'd like to make THAT happen soon. I think finding a way to get myself back into animation casually would be neat too - I have a lot of mental hangups and personal roadblocks holding me back, largely from my awful college experience, but I think if I can just find some tools that are comfortable for me then I'll be able to conquer those and hopefully start enjoying it again on my own terms. there's other stuff I'd like to pick up this year as well but honestly I'm keeping my expectations small for now and we'll just see what happens! let's do it, wahoo

[itooaminthisepisode]

hiii thanks for the tag!! held off on posting this cause i knew i would be uploading another fic by the end of the year and i wanted to include it lol :3

thank you @spicedrobot for the template! and without further ado, here's my wrapped!

66k words is an absolutely insane number of words that i never dreamed i would be able to write in the span of a year and yet somehow here i am. Holy Shit!!! i'm pretty sure that's more writing (or at least creative writing) in one year than i've done in the rest of my life combined.

without further ado here's an overview of all the fics i've written this year, with a little added commentary because i love yapping!! below a cut cause it got kinda long:

something sweet and safe - after wilson flirts with a nurse at work, house decides to put him in his place.

this one was my first published smut and my first foray into horrible freaknasty old man porn!! dove straight in headfirst and have never looked back since :3 need to do something with this dynamic again at some point... hmmm ;)

sick little feelings in my sick little brain - house makes wilson piss in his mouth. that's it, that's the fic.

piss md!! featuring house and wilson's (absolutely canon) shared piss kink!! i just think house should make wilson do horrible humiliating things alright. also i've had a sequel outlined for like literally MONTHS at this point i just haven't gotten around to it yet... but next year. stay tuned👀 (also maybe a third one as well we'll see how it goes!!)

wiped away my thoughts and cares - wilson sometimes struggles with incontinence. house decides to help in a rather... unorthodox way.

wilson abdl because i cannot resist putting that man in a situation!! spent two hours total writing this one (including editing) which is literally the least time i've spent on a fic Ever and somehow it's my favourite out of all 38(!!) that i wrote this year. this is another one that i am doing more of in 2025 trust🤞 little wilson is so precious to me i cannot resist him🥺

look at those puppy dog eyes - house and wilson try out petplay for the first time, and - to no one's surprise - they like it. a lot.

this is actually the first fic i started writing in 2024! i just got major writers block towards the end and left it sitting half-finished for months. but then i wrote a couple other fics and came back to it with fresh eyes and i'm really proud of how it turned out!! another dynamic that i rotate in my brain a lot. ouppies <3

i wanna throw you to the hounds - house is a werewolf - and sometimes, he can get a little... frisky when he's transformed.

this was the fic i was most nervous to post (yes, even more so than the abdl one), but im so glad ppl seemed to like it cause like. Waow :3 another one where i just put wilson in a situation!! also i love writing him having a moral crisis but doing it anyway purely cause house wants to :3

whumptober 2024 - all the filled prompts from this year's whumptober! some are short, some are longer, all of them are emotionally damaging in some shape or form.

okay look if i listed each individual fic in this series we'd be here all day so i'm just gonna talk abt whumptober as a whole. but it was SO MUCH FUN!!! wrote em in like three weeks, was churning out like 2 or 3 a day by the end, and was delirious with fever for a significant chunk of time but i'm so proud of myself for finishing in time!! if all goes well i'll be participating in 2025, albeit with slightly better planning and pacing this time!! :D

can you catch me when i'm falling down? - wilson's been having a bad day. luckily, house knows just what to do to make him feel better.

my gift for @russell-crowe as part of the 20th anniversary exchange! it was a little different to write to someone else's specifications cause i've never done it before and it's out of my comfort zone, but it was a super fun challenge and i enjoyed it a lot!! will definitely participate in this again if it runs in 2025, cause it's such a good way to feel connected within the fandom!! :D

this year's for me and you - house hangs mistletoe above wilson's doorway in an attempt to fluster him. wilson isn't so easily fooled, however, and he finds a way to beat house at his own game.

my final fic this year!! this one is another gift, this time for @nekomura-chanzu as part of the holiday gift exchange!! had a blast writing this one, it was a nice break from all the whump and smut. nothing like a sweet silly fluff fic to end the year with a bang! :3

and that's it!! what a brilliant year it's been, and here's to 2025 being even greater!

i never know who to tag for these things (social anxiety will do that😅) but to any housefic authors seeing this, feel free to add on!! <3

my ao3 wrapped! tagged by @greghousebignaturals, template by @spicedrobot

2024 was my first year of getting back into writing fanfic since literally 5 years ago - and I only got back into it in the second half of the year (and I'll still be posting more stuff before 2024 is over lbr)

very briefly, these are the House fics I wrote this year, in chronological order:

Kill the Mood: Hilson try doing doctor roleplay during sex (and fail)

Bonk: Wilson gets a concussion :)

Don't Touch Me: Wilson hates physical contact and has a bad time

inappropriate use of hospital technology: House sends Wilson a dickpic and trans!Wilson jerks off about it

acting like a tough guy: House avoids Wilson on Valentine's Day (Wilson is very endeared by this)

sleep(less): Wilson is sleep deprived to the point of hallucinating a week after he started dating House

Slow Blink: Wilson is turned into a kitten. House is confused by cat body language

ow: trans!Wilson has period cramps

oh, and one more thing: Wilson gets hurt, House mother hens him, Wilson is a little shit

Want/Deserve/Receive: Wilson starts dating House and freaks out because he doesn't feel like he's allowed to be happy

the truth I chose to bend myself around: House accidentally takes truth serum. Nobody believes him (wip)

Tie Me Up, Pull My Leash: Wilson bets House to wear a tie and then tugs on it like a leash and they make out about it

I'm tagging @itooaminthisepisode and @oldmanffucker and @coffins-and-marbles and @defibrillism (if you wanna)

template below

[naomihatake]

Piece of peace

Summary: first meeting between Female!OC and Naruto at Cherry Blossom Festival. 1700 words

TW: fluff, mentions of death and hospitals, brief description of a wound, discrimination, mention of orphans

A/N: I don't know if I will continue this with little chapters, but I really wish to. I never written so much in English all in one sitting. Initially, I wrote this for another purpose, not to post it here, but lately I realized that sharing bits of my thoughts on here is freeing. So, here we go.

Excuse any grammar mistakes or misspellings. I'm open for opinions and constructive criticism!

She got rid of the sweaty ANBU uniform she's been stuck in for the entire mission, hissing at the dark material of her clothes that got glued to a wound because of the blood. With no mercy, she dragged the grey flak jacket off even as dull pain ran through her body, only to throw the black turtleneck into the washing machine.

The only reason why she took her time in treating her wound was because she hated the smell of the hospital, place in which other comrades of hers were now stuck. One of those comrades was Kakashi, the captain of the team, who once again overused his Sharingan. She healed herself until nothing was life threatening anymore and she wrapped bandages around the wound.

Outside the window people were chattering and kids were giggling. There was more fuss than usual and the reason for that was the Cherry Blossom Festival. She was lucky enough to get back into the village so soon, only after three days of a mission that could've left her without limbs.

While she dragged some comfortable and large on her, she got out of the apartment, looking like a mere civilian. The only thing that distinguished her from the people was the small black bag wrapped around her thigh, where she held some kunai and shuriken. She never got out of the apartment without those, a habit since becoming a shinobi.

Ruffling her dark short hair, she looked around, trying her best to ignore the worries regarding the mission she just finished. Her turquoise eyes were carefully analyzing her surroundings, but her walk was slow and steady, as if she took her time relaxing — an almost failed attempt.

A young woman, a kunoichi of only 21 years old, trying her best to act like a civilian for a night, even as the dark circles under her eyes were getting more visible with each sleepless night.

As she was walking, approaching the centre of the village, where the festival was held, her eyes fell on a small boy with hair as the sun. She blinked, remembering for a brief moment the appearance of the Fourth Hokage, who's been resting in the ground for six years. It was his kid.

She stopped in her tracks, meters away from him, figuring out what he was doing. Her eyebrows pulled together into a frown when she saw the man from the stand get angry at the boy for looking at his masks for too long. He shoved the mask out of the boy's hands while shouting loudly.

"You're scaring my clients!"

With a few quick steps, she got there in seconds, holding back from glaring at the man much taller than her.

"Give me this one and the kitsune mask," her voice gave away the anger boiling steadily in her veins. The way she stared into the man's eyes didn't help the startled reaction and the cuss words that left his lips.

She gave him the money and took both masks, handing the blond boy the one he initially chose. A soft smile painted her face, genuine kindness dancing in her eyes.

"Here, little one. It's for you."

Initially, the boy looked at her with wide eyes, as if not believing what he heard or saw. He was hesitant, probably expecting to be spitted on. When his hands finally took the mask from her hands, he smiled so brightly her heart melted.

There were enough orphans left after Kyuubi's attack. There were many people who were mourning their friends and family and they were blaming the little child standing in front of her in that moment. Everyone threw such ugly glances towards him it made her want to puke. As if it was his fault. As if he controlled the beast locked inside of him when he barely got born.

"Thank you, Nee-chan," the boy smiled up at her.

She arched her eyebrow for a second at the casual language, but she didn't mind it it.

"What's your name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto!" the child grinned.

Naruto. Right. That was his name, she thought.

"Then, Naruto, let's wear the masks together, alright?"

Why let him wear that mask on his own when she could wear one as well? Obviously, she always wears one, she got so used to it she felt more protected when her face was covered. She understood only half of the reasons why her anbu captain kept on wearing that damn mask over the lower half of his face.

Probably the reason why the kid stayed beside her for the night was the fact that he wasn't being shown kindness a lot of the time. She didn't mean to make him cling to her, but his presence was grounding. She hasn't talked with someone out of her anbu teammates in a month. It became almost suffocating, the way she forgot how to socualize, the way gruesome missions blurred her days.

She slowed her pace down just so he didn't have to rush, looking down at him from time to time. Chattering about nothings with the blonde kid felt good, almost freeing, and she guessed it must've felt pleasant for him too. He was probably alone too much of the time, discriminated, pushed away by everyone.

She knew that the mask he wore made it easier for people to ignore him and she knew he was well aware of it, even if only on a subconscious level. Such a young soul, already experiencing too much. It reminded her own her own childhood, the childhoods of her friends, people were already adults, junins.

"Do you want to watch the fireworks together?" she asked him, taking her mask off only to let him see her smile. She'd give him as many smiles as she can, the same way she smiled at any kid, at any animal, at each one of her friends.

"Can we?" Naruto's happiness seemed so fragile, even as his eyes sparkled with hope.

"Of course we can. Come here," she chuckled, picking him up, sitting him on her shoulders.

But she wasn't a tall individual either, so she raised on her tip toes between the tall men that stayed in her view. The fireworks didn't start yet, there were just two "dragons" — men distinguished as such — dancing around in a circle, but she could only hear the specific music.

"Don't get scared, alright? I'll find a better view."

She formed the tiger sigil with her hands and she used Shunshin to teleport on the rooftop of a house, where the view was much better. She heard Naruto's surprised voice at what she did and she could only chuckle at his reaction at such a lame jutsu. It's a D-rank jutsu.

She sat down and put him down as well. Her legs were parted, her feet planted on the rooftop, her elbows resting on her knees as she looked up at the sky. Fireworks were so beautifully painting the sky, the loud sounds muffled by the happy voice of the child by her side. It pulled a smile on her lips as she left the mask next to her.

"They're so beautiful!"

"They are," she admitted in a faint voice.

"At the next festival I'll do that jutsu on my own, dattebayo!" Naruto turned his head towards her, his mask down.

"Really?" she challenged him with a playful smile. "I can't wait to see that, then."

"You're a shinobi, right? What's your name, Nee-chan?"

"Naomi. Asahi Naomi, and, yes, I am a shinobi."

She didn't mention her role in ANBU, since it was forbidden.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" He suddenly got up on his feet.

The place stable, since they were on a rooftop, so he almost tripped, but she quickly steadied him, her hands carefully gripping at his shoulders.

"I wonder, can I?" she tilted her head. "Maybe. Depends on how quick you learn."

"I'm a fast learner!" he bubbled with happiness at her response.

She let out a light laugh at his attitude, shaking her head, strands of brown hair falling over her cheeks.

"We'll see that later, Naruto."

She watched him pout at her and turn his back again when another round of fireworks started. She stared at them as she got locked in her own thoughts, wondering if she should give in to such a request.

She was a busy shinobi, she was walking on the edge of death with every mission. All anbu missions are S-ranked and it's for a reason. So many comrades die in missions and it's maddening. She's still wondering how she's alive, how she manages to smiles at anyone except herself. She can never muster the energy to smile at herself in the mirror.

Should she teach him? It's a big commitment. He's been denied of help and kindness for so long, it makes sense he clung to her after that small gesture. A meaningless things for everyone but him. For him it probably meant more than she could ever understand.

She blinked as she looked at the ruffled blonde hair in front of her. She let out a small sigh.

"I will. I'll teach you how to handle shuriken first, kunai, then we can jump to jutsu."

She had no clue how hard it was for the little boy to understand some basic information, but the moment he actually got it, he was good at it. The moment he understood how his chakra worked, which would happen only with exercise, he'd be so good at it she was surprised. He learned slowly and so fast at the same time, which was a weird way to explain it.

But it brought her some normalcy. She didn't have to think of deaths and missions when she came back to Konoha and he'd run into her randomly. There were months in which she didn't even time to stay for a day in Konoha, but the smile on his lips when he finally saw her felt unreal.

Such a sweet soul was waiting for her to come back alive from missions, even if he had no clue what could happen. He didn't know how her mask looked and she was happy that way. He didn't know the danger she was put through, but he had enough to deal with. She'd do anything to lift something off his tiny shoulders.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

Ergo Sum

Chapter 3/3: I Am (5387 words)

She drew back. “What the fuck?” “I was under the impression that we were confessing our truths,” Volo said. “My truth was bisexuality, you’re talking about deicide!” “I am not killing Arceus. I am subjugating its power.” “Subjugating,” the outsider repeated, narrowing her eyes in thought. “You mean, like, catching it? In a pokéball? Volo, you’re going to catch God in a pokéball?” She looked up at the sky. “Is Arceus aware of this?” “I don’t know,” Volo said between gritted teeth, “because it won’t talk to me.” “I wouldn’t talk to you either, if you wanted to trap me in a fucking pokéball!”

[seamsterspell]

Why do you think Levi only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange?

What a surprise! Hello there anon!

Oh, I actually like this question very much >:D I’m sure there are many explanations out there by all the amazing people in the fandom regarding this topic. However, since you asked for my opinion, then I will gladly give my two cents regarding this topic.

Let's see if I can put my psychology degree to good use.

Disclaimer: since I'm a levihan slut, I'm sure you know what to expect from this. Also, English is not my first language, so please forgive me if you found any mistakes :D

First of all, we know that Levi had never said “Dedicate your heart” before (as suggested by Hange). 

If that’s the case, then why did he never say that before? Well, I think it’s because he wasn’t your typical by-the-book soldier. Unlike most people in the corps, Levi joined under a special circumstance. We know that he didn’t voluntarily enlist himself as a trainee so he could join the Survey Corps and heroically save humanity from all the titans. Instead, he joined the corps because Erwin personally scouted him. Because of that, he didn't have any particular or specific reason to join it in the first place (unlike let’s say Eren or even Hange), he even planned on quitting the corps at one point. His reason for staying in the corps—other than his belief in Erwin—was just as simple as: “I like the fresh air of the outside world.”

EDIT: Okay, I just want to make myself clear. I'm not saying that his motivation in joining the corps was so shallow or even implying that he does not care a bit for humanity. He cares obviously, if he didn't then we would not have Captain Levi in our SNK story. What I meant by my statement above was to highlight how simple he was as a soldier. Like, he didn't need a grand motivation to join in the first place, because he just knew that staying in the corps was the good thing to do. He risked his life everyday in battles just for a simple wish of breathing the fresh air. He wanted the people in the wall to be free from the stinky air, because for him freedom is in the mundane things in life. To quote my other post: "His simplicity is what makes him kind."

Also, I made a follow-up post regarding my interpretation of Levi's character here. You don't have to read it, but if you want to know how I see Levi as a character, I hope that post can help.

But anyway, since he was scouted under a special condition (as well as having enormous strength as a soldier), I think he somehow had a privilege in the corps to fuck around and be as “disrespectful” as he wanted to be. Not to mention Erwin became a commander around a year after Levi joined, so my man was probably living his best nepotism/VIP life. Therefore, I would think that Levi wasn’t as strict with the rules as other soldiers. He wasn’t the kind of soldier who kept preaching about "dedicate your life" to others. He just came to work, did his job, and went home (just like me fr). I’m not saying he doesn’t care about humanity (he cares obviously) it’s just he doesn’t express it in a traditional soldier way.

No wonder we all were so surprised when he did say THAT WORDS to Hange. It wasn't like him at all. Even Hange was caught off guard by him saying it, right?

But then, this raises another question, why is it when he finally said it, he only said it to Hange? Why, for instance, he didn’t say it to Erwin? I mean, both Erwin and Hange went on a suicide mission. Moreover, out of all the people that we know in the story, we can see that Levi shares many significant moments in the narrative with these two. If that’s the case, then why did he say different things to each of them?

For me, the answer is quite simple, it’s because Levi is an empathetic person. Both “Give up on your dreams and die for us” and “Dedicate your heart” that he said to Erwin and Hange respectively were something that he believed they needed to hear at THAT moment. It was his last words for them right before they died, his last comfort.

He told Erwin to give up on his dreams and die because at that moment, when their troops were cornered by the beast titan, Erwin showed his vulnerable side to Levi. Erwin admitted that he actually had a plan (albeit a suicidal one for him and the rest of the soldiers) to defeat the beast titan but he withheld it at first because: 1) he didn’t want to die because he wanted to see the basement; and 2) he didn’t want to send any more soldiers into their death because he was being haunted by the ghost of the past soldiers who had dedicated their heart to his plan.

Therefore, Levi, out of his compassion for Erwin, took the burden of making that painful choice from Erwin’s hand. He even made a promise to kill the beast titan, as if to say that all of their death wouldn’t be in vain. He said it to make Erwin feel better, which is why Erwin smiled after Levi said that. 

I think the same explanation can be said for Hange's situation. However, to understand why he only said “Dedicate your heart” to Hange, I think we need to talk about the nature of their relationship first. First of all, they were close friends, that is obvious. They had known each other for quite a long time and they had gone on many missions together (and survived), so their bond was strong. To quote Moblit from that one Smartpass AU he shares with Levi: “[Levi and Hange have] a special kind of bond from spending many years together. It’s something that Moblit didn't have with [Hange].”

Speaking of Levi, one of the things that I feel people tend to overlook from Levi is his caring nature. He cares for his squads, for humanity as a whole, and especially for his trusted comrades (e.g. Erwin and Hange). However, since he isn’t exactly a very eloquent person, he has a weird way of showing his affection, like when he told Erwin that he would break his legs so he didn't have to join the dangerous operation to retake Shiganshina. Fortunately, since Erwin knew Levi’s character, he understood the meaning behind his words. Although for most people, it was probably hard to tell. 

Other than Erwin, the other person who could see Levi’s kindness was of course Hange—who also received a lot of care from Levi. It might be because of the nature of her job (getting too close to titans for her experiments + her role as a commander later) and because of her tendency to be a little bit reckless as well as forgetful of taking care of herself when excited (which was why she had Moblit by her side) that made Levi feel the need to pay a lot of attention to her.

And by a lot, I mean A LOT. 

This is just my opinion, but in the canon, I noticed that Levi is actually the one who expresses or initiates a lot of actions toward Hange (believe me, my man is working overtime):

Asking about her new “hobby” in rocks (after Annie’s capture).

Noticing her distress after Pastor Nick’s death and trying to lift her spirit up.

Calming her down when she was upset at Keith Shadis when he finally told the truth about Grisha's past & his reason for leaving his commander position in Survey Corps.

Thinking about Hange’s safety during missions (after Bertholdt’s transformation in Shiganshina and when she was attacked by one of Kenny’s men in the Reiss Chapel).

Telling her to not touch some random things at the beach.

Telling Moblit to take care of Hange because he can't be always by her side (Smartpass AU)

Knocking Hange out to forcibly bathe her (Smartpass AU). Also, the way he worded it in a way that "yeah I don't like her filthiness when I'm off-duty, so I took it upon myself to clean her." I see you...

Levi saving Hange from being hit on the head by a bunch of books + telling her to change her wet clothes (Smartpass AU)

Well you get what I mean. Anyway—at least for me—he doesn’t seem to do this solely because of Hange’s lack of self-care. I think he shows a lot of care for Hange because she’s important to him, which is of course exacerbated when they became the last two veterans to survive after the operation to take back Shiganshina. After so much lost, he clearly saw her as the last person he’s close to. I mean, in one of the Smartpass AU, she was the first person that came to his mind when he was asked about his family.

Not only that, I think he generally likes Hange as a person because she saw him for who he truly was. Like, remember their first meeting, Hange was the only one who was willing to approach Levi (while everyone was sceptical of him) and she did it purely out of admiration. She genuinely was impressed by him and wanted to get to know him better. A gesture that might be alien to Levi, which explains why he was unsure at first about Hange, but it seemed after many missions together, Hange was eventually able to earn his trust. Hange became a person who could freely tease him (him being a clean freak + their poop jokes) as well as became a walking dictionary for him (the way she translates Levi's words to Eren).

On the other hand, contrary to Levi, I noticed that Hange tend to be more neutral with Levi. I’m not saying that Hange did not care for him. I mean, when she found his injured body, she became so protective of him that she willingly risked her life by jumping into the lake so she could save him.

There was also this one scene of her trying to comfort him when he learned that titans was actually a human. Moreover, she also considered him to be her closest friend in the Survey Corps.

I believe she rarely showed her caring side to him because she knew that he is a capable fellow, and so she didn’t think he needed her help in particular. I don't think she had ever think that this man, the strongest man in the world, would ever sustain a horrible injury or even die. Sadly, she thought wrong. When she found his injured and dying body (chapter 115), Hange had to face a horrible realisation that she could actually lose him.

Then, in chapter 126, we finally saw Hange taking care of Levi. She killed two soldiers to protect them. She also tended and healed his injury with so much care. In my opinion, being confronted by the mortality of the only person that she had left in the world, Hange most likely learned—the hard way—about how important Levi had actually become to her. Thus she was willing to do anything for him.

When this realisation mixed with her exhaustion from the war, she finally reached her breaking point. With no one but an unconscious Levi by her side, the passionate-happy-go-lucky researcher and the ever-so-composed commander of the Survey Corps found herself gradually letting down her guard to show her weakness, her feelings. In her vulnerability, she weakly expressed how she would rather live with him in the woods, away from the chaos outside. Like, can you believe this Hange, who always fought for humanity’s sake said, “Humanity be damned, I would rather spend the time I have left with you.” 

I think this explains why her confession in chapter 126 caught us (the fandom) off guard, because not only it was out of character for her, but also for the first time, she showed her feelings to Levi.

Later we know that Levi heard about her “confession” but since he also knew that Hange would never ever run away, he instead encouraged her to do the things that she believed in, and that was to stop Eren from committing genocide. However, I think her words had never left him, even after they left the woods. Because as you can see in chapter 132, he somehow made a seemingly random remark to her about how her feelings are not always unrequited. As if he knew which feelings of her that is requited. 

Consequently, we finally came to the big question. We see in chapter 132 that before Hange embarked on her suicide mission, Levi did something that was so out of character for him. He touched her heart and said, “Dedicate your heart”.

Why did he do this?

To repeat my answer above, it’s most likely because he knew that it was exactly the things that she needed to hear the most. So he said it out of empathy. But isn��t it too short or even too formal for a goodbye between two close friends? Well, we have to take into consideration that Hange could read Levi like a book (remember their iconic telepathy?). She could easily translate his roundabout words and expressions, thus he didn’t need to write an essay for her. Which is why “dedicate your heart” was more than enough for both of them.

Moreover, I also infer that the reason why he never said “Dedicate your heart” while he was a soldier before was because he probably thought that he didn't necessarily have to give his heart to the corps and humanity. Again, he didn't have a grand reason to fight in the first place, and so he just wanted to do what he thought was good: to lend all his strength to help humanity. Therefore, by saying it for the first time in front of her, he seemingly wanted to show her how important and special she was to him. As if he was saying that he wants to dedicate himself only to her.

Hence, his gesture and words to Hange combined with all the preceding events (especially events in chapters 126 and 132), I could say that behind those three words, he was actually telling her: “Hey, the things you said in the woods, it was not unrequited. I actually feel the same way as you. I want to live with you as well, which is why I don't want you to go. However, I know I can't stop you because you’ve dedicated your heart to the freedom of humanity. So, I’ll let you go, but before you go I want you to know that you’re the only person I’m dedicating my heart to. My heart is yours.”

I'm not Hange so I don't think my translation is accurate HAHA but that's how I see it.

In conclusion, Levi had only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange because: 1) he knew it would make her feel better/happy and special; and 2) it was also his answer to her soliloquy in the woods (it was his way of telling her that they share mutual feelings).

-----

So yeah, that’s my opinion. I hope I was able to express myself clearly :D

Also, I can't believe you are asking me this, anon. No one ever asked me about my opinion before. Usually, people come for me for my silly fanfic(s) xD 

ANYWAY, your question is very much appreciated! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts regarding Levi, especially his relationship with Hange. This was fun to write (and research!), I really enjoyed the process!

Although it was a bit painful too tbh because I had to reopen my old wound by rereading chapters 126 and 132 :') You did it anon, you made me cry... at 12.30 AM T_T)b

[jobrrr]

Even in the Next One - Chapter 1

Hey, did you want another fic? This one is a role reversal and Claire is the one who wakes up in Japan with memories of her past life, and she is determined to get her wife again. Its got silly, feels and some angst, just in a modern AU, sorta but not really. I'm determined to get these two together again so please give it a read. The first chapter is up there is more to come.

[melien]

Boss: Milo? Who's that?

Milo: Errr-

Doris: *whispers* Diego. Recommended. Me. For the job.

Milo: Diego, uhh...

Boss: Is that Diego? Diego, are you alright?

Milo: No! I mean, he- I mean-

Doris: *squeezes Milo's hand harder*

Milo: Ahem. WhatIwantedtosayisDiegorecommendedmeforthisjobandIwouldverymuchliketoworkforyou-

Boss: Ah! Yeah! Yeah, our water park is hiring. You can gladly come on Monday at 9 am and we'll see what we can do.

Milo: Thank you! Thank you very much! See you on Monday! Bye! I hope you have a nice evening filled with beautiful family moments...

Boss: *hangs up*

Doris: That's it, Milo, it's over! You did great!

[stonedstargazer666]

I just did the hardest thing in my life.

Now I'm not sure how to go about talking about something like this.... i'm not all here mentally so just bear with me.... TW: Death, passing of a loved one, and organ donation. self harm mentioned.

I'm in Louisiana… Got here yesterday, everything feels like a blur… yet it feels like it's moving in slow motion…. It feels really good to see my stepmom, and stepsibs and my half brother Bear who came down to Louisiana JUST for me. Bear and our dad didn't really have a relationship, not the way I did with our dad. But Bear came down from Minnesota for me..... and I'm truly grateful for that.

My dad was legally pronounced brain dead on September 3rd 2024. Yesterday, September 4th, 2024. He had his Hero Walk from his ICU room to the ambulance bay…. i feel… I dont know… I've only ever have seen that on like med dramas before.. ya know? There's a place out here were they take him to handle as they put it "His gifts". Because he was an organ donor… I'm so proud of him for that Oh my gods I'm so proud of him for that…. but that walk… seeing all those doctors and nurses staff. some of who are my step moms co workers… it was the hardest thing i have ever done/ had been a part of in my life…. there is already a recipient of his liver. My dad is going to save someone else's life….. (we just got a call from the place that he went to, they were able to recover his liver, and two other things for transplants!!! THREE THINGS. MY dad is helping three different people!!!!)

Before we did the Hero Walk, Bear got to hang up a flag in honor of our dad. which was flown at half mast at the hospital. He's keeping the flag. Yesterday I had the honor of recording his heartbeat, and it's on my phone. I haven't listened to it since recording it.... I'm scared too, but I know that I wanna save up to get a Seattle Seahawks bear from Build a bear and put his heartbeat in that. I know it's going to kill me everytime I play it, but I think it'll also help???? the jury is still out.. lol

THe hero's walk was so surreal.... seeing that in real life.... I...I don't know how to process it... the doctors, nurses, and staff lined the hallways from the ICU to the ambulance bay.... it was so quiet, and I was sobbing the entire time walking behind my dad. He really is a hero... and my respect for him grew. I already had so so much respect for him. But wow.... The hero's walk was up til today, something I only saw on med dramas.... it felt so heavy, every single one of those people in those hallways had such a heavy look of respect and admiration for my dad. I feel like I'm shock kinda.... just a lot going on my head I cant keep things straight tbh...

Everyone has been a mess, but I think my stepmom and I take the cake on being a mess. (She doesn't have Tumblr, and none of my other family do so i'm not worried about them seeing this heh...) I have been dissociating a lot... I think... been blasting Sleep Token a lot to deal with this.... I never thought that my dad would be gone so soon... It's weird sitting in his chair writing this, knowing that he would usually never let anyone else sit in it... I have moments of hearing his voice when it's completely silent.... it's a sound that I will never forget, and his deep belly laugh when you would get him rolling.... his smile... Gods... I don't know how to feel.... it's weird to be here without him.... I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for my dad, yeah I made the choice to get sober, but he helped me. He let me scream, cry, vent.... I didn't go to rehab, I literally detoxed on a greyhound bus on my way to Ohio. but when I got to Ohio. My dad was a Video call away, and I called him a lot. He didn't care about my ramblings, or the fact that I can never stay on topic.... he did the same thing.

We are cremating him, and having a wake for him with a viewing... which is going to be really hard for me honestly. After seeing him in the ICU.... but I think it'll be nice. and by cremating him. I'll be able to always have a little piece of him with me always. I just need to find something for his ashes, something that means something to both of us. Just us. I don't know where to even start... I'm not gonna be able to do anything until next month anyway...... I honestly feel so lost right now.... I keep thinking who am I gonna call. and my first thought is my dad....

I can't call him, and it hurts so much. But I know he isn't in pain anymore. He's with his dad, and grandpa. He's with my grandma, and aunts who loved him. But.... I feel lost... my heart hurts so much... I know that I'll learn to cope, and with a lot of time. It will get easier, but it doesn't feel like it. It really doesn't...

there is a GoFundMe going... i can get it from my stepmom if anyone wants it.. it was set up by a family friend.. just dm me I guess. i'll answer DMS but that's really it.

Me and my dad in 2019 in Idaho

This picture of my dad, I'm not sure when it was taken, but he looks so cool.

My dad when he was about 17 or so and his Mopar, this is my absolutely favorite picture of him. Picture courtesy of my Uncle Floyd on Facebook hehe.

Then these are pictures of his flag, the first three I took from the parking lot of the hospital. the last one my brother Bear took. I'm gonna post more photos of my dad. My Uncle Floyd, his brother is sending me a lot, and my stepmom and I are going through his facebook page and shes telling me stories about some of them. While going through some of his stuff... I know its soon.... but honestly... I'm keeping a lot of it. IDK where I'm putting it. But so far its mainly clothes, and stuff me and TJ one of my partners can wear. Might give my other partner a shirt if they'd like....

My dad is a hero, and is going to be saving someone's life tonight with the gift of his liver. I am so proud to be his daughter, but at the same time I am so hurt that he's gone. A small piece of him is going to live on with somebody else, whoever that is. I know they will be grateful for this, and that makes me happy. so happy, my dad loved helping people. So he is very much a super hero in my eyes.

Fly high daddy. I love you so much. You are saving one more life tonight, and I am so proud of you. So very proud to be your daughter, thank you for being my dad and one of my best friends. Even if you said that we weren't. I feel in my heart of hearts we were, I will never stop thinking about you. Or what you would do, or say. what jokes you would make, or how you say them. I love you so so much. I know you will be watching over us from now on, and that you wouldn't want me crying. But dammit dad... you know how I am... I can't help it... It's going to take a while before I can think of talk about you with crying. and you know it. you were always my hero for many reasons....

Do you know how hard it is going to be for me? Not being able to call you? Not being able to excitedly chitter to you about small things like my crystals or tarot cards? or...or calling you crying because I don't feel good or I have cramps and you make me feel better by making me laugh?? I know you know... I get the concept. heh.. But...I guess something is coming from it. I'm getting to know my Uncle Floyd better... He misses you a lot dad, Floyd loves you so much. He's sending me all of these really neat pictures of you guys... and he was making me laugh. Explaining the difference between having a mullet, and having long hair with bangs... lol

Floyd has been checking in on me and everyone almost daily, I haven't talked to him this much ever... which, yeah I know I can't take all the blame. He even said so.... You know you two are so much alike its kinda scary. heh. He called me princess the other day while I was on greyhound. I don't think he was thinking about it to be honest. He's been calling me kiddo a lot, kinda like you did. I think its cute. hehehe. But I think sadly this was the push I needed to connect with him more... He also has a really nice voice, just like yours. And the push I needed to connect with Kim more too.

I know that because of my mom, my relationship with Kim has been kinda weird. But I'm realizing that... some information was revealed and more clarified to me about certain happenings with my mom and wellll.... let's just say there are A LOT of emotions right now with that... I don't even know where to begin on that.... woooboyyyy dad... there's a lot to unpack there... and I know we've kinda touched on this crap here and there and really talked about things from your point of view. But Kim told me stuffs that.... Well I'm gonna need to talk to my therapist about it first because I really don't know how to process it. Because it was during the time I was treating you so horribly.... and I'm sorry... I didn't fully know or understand what was going on. I know I know I don't have to apologize for anything I know. But knowing this new information..... I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry. Ok i'm gonna try not to say that anymore. TRY.

I'm taking a lot of your clothes to be honest, oh and Ace is like my best friend now. Look! HE HUGE DAD HOLY FUCK

As soon as I started talking to Floyd Ace came out and started loving on me. I love him so much dad, he's so soft and sweet oh my gosh. But he misses you. He's definitely your cat lol for sure your cat. Everytime attacks Kim I giggle I can't help it. it's so funny, Tucker and Flash miss you too. Tucker has been so happy to see me. I love those dogs so much. I'm so happy to see them, and cuddle with them!!!! it's been so nice to be writing this and being able to set this aside to love on one of them for a minute. It's also been nice to spend time with Bear, We hung out a little yesterday.

He needed to run to Walmart, I tagged along cause well I wanted to go for a car ride. and I wanted to spend time with him too. He did drive all the way down here for me.... and yeah I know. I'm just glad he's here, he's getting some kind of closure with all of this... I know I've always been kinda like the fixer.. always trying to fix things... like relationships. like with my mom and Kim.

I now understand what was really going on... and I...I can't fix that. I can't, I have my own shit I need to worry about dad... like how i'm gonna live without you.... how am I going to do that?? I know I have TJ and Fruits... Kim, Bear, Floyd... Yes I've been constantly talking to TJ. I've been keeping him updated every step of the way....

But not you.... goddammit dad..... I know I'm going to be ok eventually, but this fucking sucks right now... My mind is racing, one minute I'm laughing about something you joked about or said, the next i'm shaking and sobbing because you aren't here... I feel like i'm constantly panicking.... I would totally lose my mind if I wasn't here with Kim and them... honestly I think if I wasn't here with them, I think I would be hurting myself right now or wanting to be really badly.... and that's a scary thought to be honest. I don't know if I do right now... but so much has been going on that I haven't really thought bout it frankly. I'm keeping a lot of your shirts for myself and TJ. I'm gonna see if J wants any of them. If not, well I'm not worried about it. ¯\_(��)_/¯

I promise to take good care of your shirts that your dad gave you. I have a lot of good memories of you two together, so to have some of these shirts that I vividly remember grandpa Taylor wearing when I was little, then seeing you wearing them... now me... its.... very special to me. And I'm very honored?? I'm not sure if that's the right term, but i'm gonna go with it...Of course I'm taking your Kiss Blankie, and one of your Seahawks shirts. my favorite one. the one you always wore, you know the one. hehe. I even have the shirt J and I made for you when we were teeny tiny. My handprint is so small oh my gosh dadddd... I promise to take good care of it.

Gods....there's so much more I wanna say. But I'm not really sure how too... I definitely feel like i'm still in shock...I thought I still had time... Dad... You HAVE to tell people when you don't feel good, I know you don't like people worrying about you but... THIS IS WHYY!! GOD dad.... I'm happy your not in pain anymore I'm so happy for that, cause god knows that you hated it so much... But this was too fucking sudden for everyone. Too fucking sudden old man.... Christ... leaving me...us like this... fucking hell dad.... I just... I need you. here with me. I'm always going to need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you.... you were a really good man whether you believe it yourself or not.

You ARE a good man, you saved three different lives.... but mine is going to be changed forever and you know how much I hate change like this..... Honestly personally I don't think I'll ever really get over this, or this trauma... I really don't think I will. I hate this so much I do. plain and simple. I want you here with me dammit, it's not fucking fair! It's so not fucking fair!! I hate feeling like i'm being selfish when I know this is normal....I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else I don't wanna be. I spent most of my life hating you because of my mom!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT AND ITS NOT MY FAULT. I missed out because of her, and because she lied to me about a lot of things..... and that's time I will never get back with you.... that kills me so badly..... like oh my gods it hurts bad.... so much..... I know there is still a lot of high running emotions. But you know how strongly I felt and loved.... gods... How am I going to this without you? I know I will..... but right now...I don't know how... I really don't know how..... I love you so much this hurts so badly.... I don't think I can properly pet into words how bad i'm hurting.... how badly i'm missing you right now. I know for a fact that if you were here right now, we would be talking about everything under the sun. Gods I need that right now..... I really do daddy... I just wanna talk to you, and laugh and hug you.

I would give almost anything for just one more day.... just to hear your voice, see your green eyes. hear your laugh.... feel your arms around me... I am so glad that we were able to work on our relationship. So fucking grateful. you mean so much to me daddy, you really do. I hope you know how much you mean to me.... I really really hope you do . I love you dad. I will talk soon.... maybe... might start a sideblog with letters for you... I'll have to think about that for a little bit. But I love you daddy. I will talk you later. toodles....

[tirfpikachu]

tfw i have $948cad and rent is $980 AND MY PLACE IS A WRECK

[fascinationstreetmp3]

messing around with modifying her is pretty fun. i’m actively breaking some npcs probably because i don’t know how to make new material entries but they’re a sacrifice i’m willing to make

[relic-seeker]

chapter 16; "for i am the new husband and i am the comrade" / "the long-dwelling companionship ends"

this is essentially THE pinnacle of this fic. if you like lemm & quirrel finding home within each other, you will only now certainly be satisfied with this whole story! thank you everyone for following this for a while, means a bunch

story will continue with a brief navigation of their whole situation afterwards -- after all, i can't spend 80k words building up this relationship only for nothing to actually happen to it afterwards!!!

[aphel1on]

i really have missed writing xue yang though. he's one of those characters where i can just sit down and black out and an hour and a half later there's 3 new scenes in the word doc and it's a tossup whether they'll be hilarious, heartwrenching, or horrifying. i don't have to come up with any of it he just does that for me

[lesenbyan]

Me: listening to So You Want To Talk About Race

Me: oh I am learning a lot about my relationship to blackness in this book written by another black woman raised by a white parent (identities to that differing widely)

[lemonadehtwooh]

For my AU, Holmes isn't addicted to drugs (for reasons I will elaborate on in the tags if anyone demands an explanation) HOWEVER instead, to make up for this, he's addicted to caffeine

This has lead me to imagining him absolutely slamming a heavy energy drink and turning to Da Vinci to sprout his usual nonsense. Da Vinci isn't even phased (all artists has been in a moment in their lives that they've done the same lmao)