#I'm just thinking about him alright
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"I'm tired, sam. I'm tired of this job, this life. this weight on my shoulders, man, I'm tired of it." dean said this in 2x09. it's season fucking two, and he is already so incredibly tired. how can you create such a character who, despite everything, still decided to fight? a character who's so full of love and wanted to be good and do good. he wanted to be loved and love in return. how can you create such a character and then just... take everything from him and kill him. taking everything from the man who thought he wouldn't make it to thirty anyway. the man who thought that loving someone meant to be left at some point or another. the man who gave everything to raise his brother and protect him. the man who was so full of love and compassion. the man who people couldn't help but fall in love with, be friends with. how could they be so cruel and end his story the way he always thought it would end. how could they look at this character and not give him a happy ending? an ending to show us that the circle of trauma and abuse can be broken, that you can find love, and that this love can and will stay. that life can get better... I– I will never forgive them for what they did to dean.
#I'm just thinking about him alright#i miss my best friend#spn thoughts#dean winchester#spn#supernatural
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Pac: Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok? See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: [Laughs] Take it easy, big boy. Take it easy, big boy. Actually, nononono– You can't just say "big boy" and then just expect me to not drag you outta here. [Fit tries to lasso Pac] You're coming with me.
Pac: No, I need to leave!
Fit: You're coming with me. You are not dying today! You are not dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There's homosexual activity going on Mouse, don't worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, we don't have time to be gay right now.
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
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Pac: I'm just here to say goodbye to you, Fit.
Fit: Goodbye? We're not– we're gonna be fine, we're going to get out of here, don't worry.
Aypierre: Yeah, don't worry!
Pac: I know, but like– I will sleep until the end, you know? I will pass through this moment sleeping, man. I won't be able to be awake for the moment.
Fit: [Laughs] You know, it's– I mean, if that's how you wanna go, but– I mean, that- I mean, isn't that bed kind of like.... I don't know, it's–
Pac: No no, I will be staying on the sofa, you know, I will be staying on the sofa.
Fit: Oh the sofa. Ok, that's a nice sofa! Yeah, that is a pretty nice sofa.
Pac: Yeah, it's a nice sofa right? No, yeah– I'm going to stay on the sofa, you know? So, since I will be going Fit... [Pac starts tossing Fit all his items]
Aypierre: [Not paying attention to their conversation] Is that bigger cell? I don't think it's a bigger- biggest one.
Fit: Oh... Thank you Pac, thank you.
Pac: Everything you need to survive, ok?
Fit: Wow.
Aypierre: Wow.
Pac: And if you need this one also, maybe, who knows? [Throws him more items]
Fit: Ohhh, well hey– just take this to remember me by, ok? [Tosses him a photo of himself – the same one Aypierre was carrying all day yesterday]
Pac: [Laughs] Ok, I will sleep holding the picture you know, like this. You know, I will dream about you, Fit. And I hope this is gonna be good dreams. I see you in the other side. Good luck, my friend.
Fit: The other side... Yeah, you know, yeah, we– we– you know? It's been an honor, Pac. It's been an honor, you know?
Pac: Yeah, for me too, you know? Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok?
Fit: Ok.
Pac: See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: I will sing your praise– Oh yeah, hey– [Laughs] Take it easy, big boy. Take it easy, big boy. Actually, nononono– You can't just say "big boy" and then just expect me to not drag you outta here. You're coming with me.
Pac: No, I need to leave!
Fit: You're coming with me. You are not dying today! You are not dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Fit: Sorry, there's–
Pac: I'm sorry!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There's homosexual activity going on Mouse, don't worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, you guys– we don't have time to be gay right now, come on. There's no time.
Pac: No, there's no time! Oh, goodbye Fit...
Fit: Ok, c'mon, no no no, come on, we got this we got this!
Pac: Goodbye Fit, I'm sorry!
Fit: [Laughs] Oh no...
#Pactw#FitMC#Hideduo#FitPac#QSMP#QSMP Prison#January 22 2024#So canonically how do you guys view this moment?#Did Pac just canonically conk out from stress?#Did he take sleeping pills on purpose to sleep through whatever awful thing was inevitably going to happen?#Curious to hear what other people think#I like to imagine the stress finally got to him#He spent the entire time trying to mirror things he saw Cell doing#and finally cried about it to Bagi#I can't blame him if he wants to sleep through the rest of it. Man's living in a place that's actively making him relive past trauma#Fit says he's carrying Pac in his backpack but I like to imagine that he just gave Pac a piggy back ride the entire way home :D#I imagined that for Purgatory too#it's cute#idk the whole idea of very traumatized characters being so comfortable around certain people#Idk the idea Pac feeling so safe around Fit#(despite being in a place that is actively stressing him out)#that he feels alright falling asleep and trusting him / Mike to protect him is sweet to me#Idk man I'm a big fan of the ''literal sleeping together'' trope#I love when characters take naps together it's so cute#esp when it's two traumatized characters with a lot of baggage / trust issues#It's nice#anyways I got way off topic with these tags LMAO sorry#I was gonna edit this down but I like the entire conversation so I'm leaving it as is#The YouTube editor living in my brain: Not great for viewer retension#Me: Shhhhhhhh I'm an Archivist. I can do whatever I want.
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post ep 11
#trigun stampede#trigun#meryl stryfe#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#i cant even elaborate on this episode bc ive spent all day Thinking about it yesterday#and it made me Miserable#i just want to see vash have some autonomy again...#he is a little bit more on the quieter end for stampede as less angry about things but i dont think he's more of a coward in stampede#even though he was transported into his memories and saw and heard those terrible things from the kids and wolfwood#he was able to gather himself and keep going#his resilience has always been the strongest and also saddest thing about him#so it killed me irreversibly when he lost the one person who he could always look back to reliably#the fact knives couldnt even alter anything in rem's dialogue within those memories just stands for how strong her place is in vash's memory#and potentially knives just knows that would be too ooc of her to make in any Universe if she had something horrible.#man. I TALKED ABOUT THIS IN LIKE ALL 3 PLATFORMS. I'm alright with Knives as a character but jesus#- i did it all for you - im so sad that vash had to hear something like that. im so so sad about it#anyway i hope meryl stays safe shes done so much#i love her so much <3#ruporas art
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i'm literally insane about the last agni kai and the lightning scene(s). i swear i've rewatched it 10+ times since my last rewatch of the show (which was my first watch in years) and like. azula sees katara come into view from behind. zuko doesn't. he follows azula's gaze and sees katara and is immediately horrified. he doesn't even think or hesitate because he doesn't have time and for once he doesn't have to look back at azula to figure out what she's doing because he knows what she's doing and he won't let it happen. time dwindling into slow motion as a haunting score plays? and zuko literally yelling out "no!" because that lightning absolutely cannot hit katara. as soon as he sees it there's no chance of that ever happening. and then katara watching in horror as the lightning flashes against features in what is probably one of the most hauntingly beautiful animated moments of the show? zuko hitting the ground still convulsing with lightning and katara crying out "zuko!" and immediately trying to run to him before azula attacks again? and the next scene we cut back to with them, zuko is groaning weakly and trying to lift himself up, and we see katara literally gasp in surprise as she realizes he's still alive (i'm sobbing because i do quite literally think she thought he was dead) and immediately tries to run to him again, nevermind that she knows azula is still there, and the hand katara uses for healing is already doused in water as she reaches for him. but then azula starts attacking again. and zuko, despite literally being in so much pain that he can't stand and can barely even move at all without whimpering, still tries to reach for the spot where he can see azula attacking katara. katara is forced to hide from azula's attacks. and as azula is mocking "zuzu, you don't look so good" down to zuko, the perspective shot is such that you can SEE that katara is also looking at where he lies prone in the distance, surrounded by flame (probably wondering how much time they have before it really is too late) before looking back up at azula and realizing she needs to defeat her as quickly and handily as possible so katara can get to zuko. obviously katara would have done this anyway (the whole reason they were THERE was to halt the continued cycle of the imperialist regime of the fire nation), but the scene is specifically framed as katara trying to figure out how to stop azula so the obstacle to her getting to zuko is no longer in the way. katara's defeat of azula was epic and deserves its own post. but then after making sure azula is securely chained, she runs to zuko, looks at him with such immense sadness and horror and fear as she hears him in so much pain, tenderly turns him over so she can get a good look at the wound. and she cups his head? briefly but so gently? so that he won't hit it as she turns him over? and when she tries to heal him you can tell she is so genuinely unsure if it will even work, and so relieved that she starts crying tears of joy when she sees it has (at least enough to keep him alive and somewhat lessen his pain.) they thank each other (and you can tell it's still really hard for zuko to talk and his eyes are barely open but he thanks her anyways i'm.) and she thanks him back and!!! when he starts to try to sit up she makes a little surprised face and then immediately helps him to do so (and puts a tender hand to his chest while she does!!!) and obviously that last shot of them standing together is also one of emotional support, but katara's hand on his back is also partly because i still think (and certainly katara still thinks) trying to walk/stand on his own would be a bad idea, so it's definitely not happening.
#y'all. let me tell you right now. there was a way to write and animate this scene that didn't play on a dozen romantically coded tropes#and this. uh. wasn't that!#zutara#i know this is basically just reciting what happened ( i almost included the actual way katara defeats azula but that wasn't the point of t#is particular post and also would have made it even longer.)#but#there is nothing about this sequence of events that does not make me feel like i am on drugs.#also you Know zuko immediately after this was like: alright well i guess i've got shit to do! then promptly falls unconscious again. tbh#the joke is on him if he thinks katara is letting him out of sight for a While#atla#zuko#katara#this isn't even particularly analytical i'm just gushing#i'm not joking i will never be over it.#the last agni kai#sozin's comet
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WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY. WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY! WHAT WAS HE-
Sun Wukong: "Kid—new armor isn't going to cut it! We have to hit Azure with everything we've got! You can't just, ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!"
MK: "I-"
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LITERALLY WHAT. WHAT WAS IT. MK HONEY SWEETIE DARLING WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO TELL WUKONG HERE
#look at MK's FACE#HE IS SO DISTRAUGHT#Scenes I lay awake thinking about#Like we all know Wukong encouraging MK to use his monkey form is going to bite them in the ass#But HOW#Like SWK knows whatever the fuck MK is but MK knows something about his Monkey Form that we (including SWK) don't#''Well alright then.'' terrible. terrible. ''Oh—there's nothing mindless about me friend!'' TERRIBLE.#Hm guess I'm just having another breakdown about the special.#the light is no mystery#<- new Wukong an MK tag I wanna be emo#anyways#imp tag#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk MK#Hello I am re-remembering Wukong's absolute faith in MK and how this is both a virtue and a vice#(aka oops if MK loses control SWK will be completely blindsided by it)#I am also remembering how MK's undying loyalty to SWK is also both a virtue and a vice!#(Aka if MK learns SWK did anything he can't justify that will shatter him)#These two would basically do anything for each other—but in like the fucked up way! So: haha we are in danger
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more headcanons about sebastian solace from the hit game pressure roblox
back on my bullshit and i promise i only talk about The Situation a little bit
☆ his third arm is more sensitive than the other two (i'm thinking that either the USHD doctors fucked something up during the operation OR it grew in wrong, nerve endings closer to the epidermis and whatnot, something like that)
☆ just hates being touched in general, he’d rather initiate that contact (need an update where he gently —> not very gently shakes expendables off (depending on whether and how much they’ve annoyed/flashbanged him) when they climb him) ☆☆ part of this is due to trauma, he cant trust anyone to touch him without hurting him ☆☆ the other part is that he’s got that fucking dawg in him (i’ll get to this in a second)
☆ unlike what his new voice lines are starting to suggest about his character (i’m not gonna talk about zerum again because i think everyone knows what's happening at this point and ive already thrown in my two cents) he does NOT hate the expendables. literally his first line upon meeting him in his shop has him calling himself your friend (as strained of a connection as it may be, he could very easily not offer items, not share documentation/info, and just take the expendables data and hoard anything he picks up to make it harder for them to get to the crystal) (like yes, it's a mutually beneficial relationship but if sebastian didn't care about or sympathize with the expendables to some extent, it wouldn't be). i really do think he just has a short fuse (i'm not going to bring up trauma again, however-) and says things he doesn't mean (e.g. “they deserved it. and frankly so do the rest of you.” (im coping with the mischaracterization of these new lines leave me alone)) as a means of protecting himself and pushing the expendables further away (both physically and emotionally)
☆ he’ll act like a brat once they’re done, but he lets younger expendables sleep in his shop (he cares about them but would never in a million years let them know that) ☆☆ if a younger one comes in with a bunch of adult expendables, he’ll treat them all the same but will secretly slip the younger one some extra batteries, gauze, something unnoticeable (he feels especially responsible for the younger male expendables cause they remind him of his little brother)
☆ sometimes he thinks he can hear his family's voices on the radio, just under all the static, calling out for him like a search party would. he used to cry over this but he almost got caught once by an expendable coming into the shop so he does his best to tune it out. it’s hard. guilt pulls at his stomach every time he hears a clip of his family, begging for him to come home, to respond, something, anything, and he ignores it.
☆ autism (cause i said so) - i'm including this one for the sole reason that he does the dinosaur thing with his third arm and generally keeps his hands clasped together in the secret dinosaur position (he just like me fr) ☆☆ hates bright lights (the only light he uses/allows in his shop is the one he emits) (its a very soft/warm hue as opposed to the bright fluorescents throughout the rest of the facility) (not to bring up the flash beacon, obviously nobody likes getting flashbanged and he's got angler eyes but sTILL)
☆ he used to hate eating fish (pre-op) and now he’s pissed cause it’s all he has available and the DNA changes made it so fish is the yummiest tastiest thing in the world (i like imagining him actively fighting the urge to eat whatever fish he’s cooked in one bite cause he refuses to acknowledge that he's changed on a level that isn't physical/appearance-based)
☆ calls grown adults “kiddo” (even the ones that are older than him) ☆☆ he gets a certain kind of joy from seeing the 40/50/60 year old expendables try to figure out just how old he is after they get called “kiddo”. it’s extra fun for him when they’ve clearly already heard the rumors and/or gotten a glimpse of his file
☆ the ring is just an accessory, a bracelet on the floor or in a locker he found and liked. assumed nobody was gonna claim it and kept it (shoutout to @/lotus.eaterr on tik tok for this one!!!!)
#light angst#sorry guys#sebastian solace#sebastian pressure#pressure roblox#i love calling it pressure roblox irl it's so funny for no reason#ok sorry i'm still hung up about the update and i NEED to yap#i genuinely don't care if he's married as a bit i think that's hilarious#but adding the ring and changing the dialogue and the animation he has with the ring just breaks immersion#ALSO#he's supposed to be sarcastic and sassy#not an asshole???#how do you mischaracterize your own character#that was mean i apologize#i'm just pissy cause i hate fandom discourse#especially when it's about something as dumb as this#but because it's gotten to the point that it's integrated into the game it feels unavoidable#also i totally forgot#they're a co-creator?????#why is she controlling everything about this character when there's like 5 other people who own him too#make it make sense#alright im done yapping about this forever goodbye
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they wouldn't let me write the live action Disney adaptions because I would have had the best Ping you have ever seen. He and Shang would have had chemistry that took your breath away. They would be Yearning. the audience would be Yearning. it would be electric and terrifying and by marika would Mulan/Ping be hot. Shang is obsessed, the audience is obsessed. there would be hardly be a person in the attendance that doesn't Get where Shang is coming from. who wouldn't rend their clothes and scream to the heavens over Mulan/Ping. she takes no prisoners.
and yes, Shang kisses him in the snow as he cradles Ping's injured, dying body.
and yes, from the opening scene to the rolling credits he's going slowly mad.
and the first time you see Mulan she's dressed in the most feminine, floaty, light-colored dressy robes, with bone white makeup and painted lips and you fall in love with her. and there's something underneath, too. and it's so intriguing.
and then she shows up as Ping, and it takes a while to get used to, and it's kind of funny and awkward. but then it looks better and better to you. and soon you find you can hardly bear it when the camera turns away from him for even a second. and Ping isn't awkward to be around at all, he's stunning and brave and resilient and determined to be kind and you're desperately in love with him and you decide he looks incredible in the warriors' robes, actually. and his smile makes you want to kiss him. it makes Shang want to scream. and to kiss him.
and then comes the last leg. and she's got the gender-neutral robes, the "neutral" stage makeup. the loose updo. and you've never been as attracted to anyone in your life as Shang is to her. and you get it. you really, really get it. and wow the way the cuff of her sleeves and the silhouette of her robes make your heart clench. and the way her posture, her gait, make a new kind of sense. you can feel this is It. this is The Costume. you're obsessed and Shang is obsessed.
And then in the end, she's wearing pretty soft-colored robes and it makes you think for a moment that she looks like she did at the beginning. but then actually something makes her strength visible too. is it the cut of the costume? her posture? the framing of the shots? Yes it is. and you know, when Shang shows up, You know he can see it too. and he doesn't want to stop looking any more than you do. and he isn't going to even when you do.
every kid that ever watched my Mulan would recall it as Formative, like y'alls Danny Phantom but on the sickest steroids ever invented. She'd be irresistible. and so very gender.
#i was a huge shang fan as a kid#you can't tell from this post bc it's all about Mulan#but I would do my boy Shang SO GOOD#you'd adore him at the end. and be cheering him on and begging him to stop and gasping from frustration just watching him#but most importantly you'd believe in the goodness of his character. a man; young and under immense pressure; doing his best#fighting his hardest#anyway I market the movie for theaters with her in the girly clothes and then all merch and promotional material afterward features the#shan yu final showdown outfit#the one that makes you go mad#that makes you forgive all of shangs transgressions on the spot#you take one look and say#yeah ok. my boy was right alright. look there were extenuating circumstances. no one could think in this environment#but if course that's actually where they work together THE BEST#and it's soooo good#and it convinces you that they are perfect for each other#sorry about all this guys#I'm still mad this isn't what happened with the live action frankly#i will probably never come to terms with it
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A Desperate Fool - Part 12
Part 11
Last Time: Steve's struggling with Eddie being back in town, and Dustin just tries his best to help
~~~
Eddie’s been in Chicago for almost three months and Jeff’s only called once. They’d chatted for a few minutes before Eddie spilled all the beans about Steve. Jeff wasn’t all that surprised, which surprised Eddie in return, and when he told Jeff as much, his friend laughed. “It was only a matter of time, Eddie.” And he’d said it with such grace that Eddie felt the anxiety slough from his shoulders. Either with or without him, the band would be fine.
Now, Eddie’s learned to savor the casual routine he and Dustin have established over the past month. It’s been nice, relaxing– normal.
While Dustin spends his days working from his home office upstairs, Eddie cooks, cleans, and avoids calls from his manager. Somedays Nancy and Jonathan invite him over for dinner. He’s also started meandering the neighborhood, discovering all the reasons Dustin picked here to settle down. Around the corner is a small game store which hosts DnD nights on Wednesdays and Magic the Gathering tournaments on Saturdays. It’s next door to a record shop and a small cafe that serves the best cranberry orange muffins Eddie’s ever tasted.
He’s starting to gain some of the weight back he lost, so the small amount of clothes he brought with him are starting to dig in. Dustin says it’s thanks to the home cooked meals and down time, now that he’s not partying every night. Cooking is another part of everyday living Eddie’s come to love. Steve had done all the cooking before, not just because Eddie didn’t know how, but because Steve genuinely enjoyed it. He doesn’t think his skills will ever be that good, but that doesn’t matter much. Eddie’s already halfway through a cookbook and hasn’t felt this proud of himself since he learned how to play.
It’s well into April when Dustin suggests renovating the downstairs guest bedroom into a temporary recording studio. Eddie considers it for a grand total of three hours before he calls his manager– much to their relief– to have his guitars and equipment shipped from LA on the promise of starting a new solo album. By the time it arrived, the room’s sound proofed with mounted wall hooks for each of his sweethearts. He’s also furnished it with a few plush couches and a black leather barstool beneath the hanging microphone.
This is where Eddie sits now, headphones pulled up and plugged in, his old-school acoustic swung across his back as he leans over a notebook scribbling out the lyrics falling muffled from his lips. He hums the melody, repeating the last verse to himself when there’s a soft poke on his shoulder. Startled, Eddie shouts and barely manages to catch his guitar before he tumbles off the barstool on top of it. Loose sheets scatter across the floor as he fumbles the notebook. He gathers as much as he can, but when he stands, he finds Dustin scanning some before he can snatch them away.
“Those are private, dude,” Eddie exclaims, shoving them unceremoniously into his pocket. Hopefully later he’ll be able to make out the writing through the wrinkles.
“Yeah, seems like it,” Dustin replies. He avoids eye contact, shuffling back and forth, and picks at his fingernails. “So, are those–”
“New songs.”
“–breakup songs?”
Eddie sighs, rubs his hands down his face. Dustin’s eyes are on him when Eddie moves his hands away. He feels seen, overly scrutinized, much in the same way Max and Nancy first looked at him. Dustin’s the only kid who’ll talk to him, but Eddie’s been living here for two months now and on some level, it feels like they haven’t talked about anything. Stuff like what’s for dinner, shopping lists, TV shows, video games. Things that don’t really matter.
The studio’s suddenly claustrophobic, but as Eddie moves towards the door, a half-hearted bullshit reason to leave stuck in his throat, Dustin steps in front of him.
“You know Steve’s happy, right?”
Ok so they’re talking about it. Eddie’s been anticipating this since the phone call, but is still unprepared for the solid earnestness scrawled across Dustin’s face.
“Yeah, Nancy told me everything. About all of it.” Eddie crosses his arms, can’t help hunching in on himself. Big, loud, and obnoxious never worked around Dustin, who could match him step-for-step. And after his initial conversation with Nancy, all Eddie wants to do is hide– preferably here in Dustin’s basement. “She takes care of him, she’s practically obsessed with him, wants kids– the whole package.”
Bitterness coats his tongue, and Dustin doesn’t miss his seething tone.
“She likes sports too,” Dustin adds, defensive. The kid’s always stood up to bullies to protect the people he loves. He used to do that for Eddie. Now Eddie’s alone on the opposite side of a chasm, wondering why he never considered what kind of relationship Dustin could have with Becky.
“Nancy mentioned something about sports journalism.”
“Becky gets press tickets and front row seats. They go to Blackhawks and Cubs games all the time.” Tone rising, Dustin’s cheeks are flushed, hands clenched at his sides.
“That’s–” Eddie starts, but is interrupted.
“Has he called you?” Dustin shouts at him.
Eddie freezes, body coiled tight and ready to run, but also horribly, devastatingly confused.
“What?” Cold sweats break out down his spine, his hands tingle with tiny pinpricks. “Dustin, I don’t–” he wheezes, swallowing around the dryness in his mouth. “No, we haven’t talked at all.”
“Good. Right, yeah– that’s good.” Even though Dustin’s impeding stance doesn’t change, his tone is laced with uncertainty.
“I swear,” Eddie pleads.
“I believe you,” Dustin heaves a great, heavy sigh, his body slumps. “Just– please don’t answer if he calls. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Eddie can’t help the snap of irritation. “Why?”
“Uhh,” Dustin’s voice drags out, dripping with defensive sarcasm that has Eddie deflating, “maybe because he’s planning a wedding with his new fiance and his ex showed back up out of fucking no where.”
“I know. Fuck, I know. I’m sorry.” Regret and shame crawl under his skin.
“You keep saying that, but it still doesn’t feel true.”
His eyes are hot, the panic of confrontation bubbles up through his grief. “I want it to be true, Dustin, I’m trying to make it true. I know nothing I do will ever make up for what I’ve put you all through, but– fuck.” Eddie wipes at his misted eyes. “I’d give up everything if I had to. Everything I have, all the money and clothes, the parties and the awards. I’d grovel and I’d–”
He doubles over on a long exhale that lurches from his chest unrestrained. Eddie grounds himself by counting the checkered pattern on Dustin’s socks until his breathing evens out.
“I’d give up Steve.” He almost vomits as the words leave his mouth, and at that moment he can’t tell if it’s the truth or not. “I just want my family again, Dustin– you and Nancy and Mike. I don’t want to be alone anymore. And if he’s truly happy with her, I don’t want to hurt him. He deserves to be happy, even if that means I never see him again.”
He stands up and sees Dustin’s crying now, soaking the tears into the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Years or minutes or days pass as he waits for Dustin to answer, to say fucking anything after Eddie just carved himself open and spilled his guts on the floor. He can’t imagine never seeing Steve again, never hearing the sound of his laugh or grazing his hands against the moles on his neck.
Except if Steve’s actually happy– truly down-to-the-marrow-of-his-bones happy– like Dustin says, Eddie can’t stand in the way of that. He won’t. He’s already hurt his baby so much, he won’t ruin the rest of his life too.
The realization tips Eddie’s world on its axis, the foundation of his life crumbing beneath him. As he does his best to reorient himself, Dustin scoffs a wet chuckle. “There’s going to be so much groveling. Like, a shit ton of groveling.”
A wide, relieved grin breaks out across Eddie’s tear stained face as Dustin smirks. The tone is teasing, but they both know he means it. Eddie wasn’t lying, he’ll grovel on the ground until his knees are soaked in blood. Giving up Steve feels wrong to the depths of his soul, but he’ll do it. Eddie’s not promising he’ll move on, but he can let go. He’ll do whatever it takes to earn the love and respect of his family, and he’s willing to rebuild his entire life to do it. Reconstruct it into something softer, more mundane and normal and utterly filled with a new kind of love.
And when Dustin pulls him into a hug and squeezes the air from Eddie’s lungs, he can’t help but feel overjoyed at the thought he’s already started.
~~~
Part 13
Tag List!!!
@sadisticaltarts @5ammi90 @blacklegsanji21 @jaytriesstrangerthings @thewickedkat
@stripey82 @a-lovely-craziness
#alright just a heads up it might slow down again#i'm a sporadic writer#but ugh i adore writing dustin#and i'm thinking about going back to steve more regularly i forgot how much i miss writing him#if you want to get off the train just lmk and i'll take you off the tag list#a desperate fool#eddie munson#rock star eddie munson#dustin henderson#steddie break up#breakup fic#steddie#steddie fic#queeniewritesstories
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Yuma's unshakable trust in Astral makes me cry every time
#Yuma doesn't even think twice about jumping in and defending Astral every time#He just trusts Astral so much#When Mr. Heartland said that Astral was a bad guy Yuma immediately got angry and started defending Astral#and also with Luna he talked in defense of Astral#and even when Astral started to have doubts about himself Yuma was quick to reassure him#because he knows that Astral is a good person#and no one will change his mind#Yuma is like “Yes I know that Astral is weird and arrogant and sometimes makes no sense but he's a good person and I'm sure of it”#He has no idea about what the Numbers are but he knows Astral and that is enough for him to know that they can't be completely bad#and he is sure that Astral will never misuses them because he knows Astral better than anyone and he trusts him!#he trusts him even when Astral doesn't trust himself#and Yuma's trust is so important to Astral#he remembers so little about himself and doesn't know what he really is but Yuma cares so much about him#to the point that even his “baseless confidence” is enough to reassure Astral#because Yuma's power of believing in people is one of the things that Astral admires and loves the most about Yuma#and Yuma believing in him gives Astral hope that he will be alright#Astral even said that Yuma believing in him without hesitation made him happy#These two make me feel too many emotions#they are everything to me#I will probably talk about these scenes in future posts because I love them#but for now I wanted to have all of them in the same spot#I love this manga so much I want to talk about every scenes of it#(and seeing how much manga posts I have in my drafts that is likely to happen)#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
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so it seems the poppy war has become my absolute favorite series so ofc i'm losing my mind comparing every scene with my other favorite series (red queen) and making an unfathomable amount of headcanons
#first off i think rin and mare would get along. maybe not at first but after a while they would#i think venka and evangeline would become the best of friends like the second they lay eyes on each other#AND evangeline would probably help venka realize that she's an absolute lesbian#i also think rin would get along with farley And with cameron especially#i think the cike (and kitay) would IMMEDIATELY adopt shade and kilorn and they'd have the silliest of dynamics. while being a menace#i think the cike wouldn't like cal at first but then they'd be chill about him#AND nezha and cal would also get along. btw. if you even care.#just thinking about rinezha and marecal interactions makes me dryheave i'm literally climbing the walls of my room right now#also qara and iris would get along AND hot take but i think she'd also get along with chaghan cause she'd be the only person he respects#imo#i also think jiang and mare would get along. tho he'd probably get on her nerves more often than not#i don't think altan and maven would get along with anyone lmao they're such freaks🙌#i like to imagine that altan would have INSANE one-sided beef with cal AND mare that'd be histeric#like they really dgaf about him it'd be so one-sided it'd be embarrassing for altan#maybe. MAYBE. cameron could manage him (cause they're both commited to being Haters yknow). but only for like 5 secs at most .#i also like to imagine chaghan and maven would have the biggest beef known to mankind i think they'd find each other insufferable❤️❤️#and evangeline and chaghan???? ohh chaghan's gonna find out how MEAN a mean lesbian can be alright. mlm/wlw hostility🤞🤞✨️#and what if rin and cal get somewhat along bc she understands the responsability the older sibling has over the younger one.#what if she completely understands his guilt WAAAAIT#ohh the more i think about them the more insane i get#this is just a snippet of the headcanons i have in mind rn#maybe i should make a more ''organized'' post about it#and not hide it in the tags😔#also the joy and whimsy one gets from making your faves hate each other's guts... it's so entertaining... peace and love on planet earth❤️#the poppy war#red queen series#red queen#also don't mind any grammatical mistakes i didn't check anything before typing this. and i don't have respect for the english language <3
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Hey i am back with another thought.
Remember how ccino was unamused with nightmare bringing a serial killer home as possible knight?
Inagine his annoyance when it HAPPENS AGAIN with dust!
And dust needs like 4 magic dampers.
Nightmare just standing there: i found another possible knight
Ccino staring at the criminal: ... i will go prepare a room *leaves*
And then.
Later!
Ccino walks out to meet nightmare and stops because he sees a giant skeleton behind nightmare with a hole in his skull!
Ccino: ...
Nightmare who can feel that ccino is THIS close to snapping: ... this one isnt a criminal.
Ccino takes a deep breath. Nods. And leaves. He does not like this pattern.
And then cross gets caught
Killer: lmao. Wonder why nightmare is leaving him in the jailcell instead of just punishment
Dust and horror shooting each other knowing looks.
ccink just leaves because APPARENTLY he needs to prepare ANOTHER room now >:(
Some kids bring back rocks or plants or insects or wounded animals..
Nightmare brings back criminals. (Which is even funnier because nightmare also hires wrongly judged people as his servants).
No wonder the cats swarm the castle. It is already full of strays.
Hi I *know* you have another ask in my inbox that I need to address (because I love it to death and need to make a coherent answer that isn't just me key-smashing-) but I saw this one fresh off the send and I need to respond because this one !!!!! Is so silly but so true!!!
Yeah, Ccino is a very kind and loving soul but like. In the way parents can still get annoyed w/ their kids, this is Ccino's peev. Every single time Nightmare comes back with a criminal Ccino has to take a deep breath abd count to 5 before he can respond in any proper way. And he *knows* Night knows how worried abd frustrated he his! Because!! Of all the people to bring in when you're paranoid of getting murdered? The serial killers???
Dude I also love the thought that Dust had a couple dampeners so he couldn't harm anyone or run off, and the longer he behaves the more Night takes off. (And Night *really* wants to see Dust at his full power, but he can't risk being hasty-)
Horror, who arguably looks the most like a criminal, actually got into a heated argument with a friend as a teenager and ended up with a huge skull wound. He's actually a sweetheart! (<- to his family at least-) Ccino is just happy it's not another criminal frfr.
And then Cross.
The visual that Killer has yet to pick up on the signs of Night preparing to collect another knight is SO silly but also SO him. He's blind-sided when he's put in charge of Dust to train him for knighthood. He's blindsided when Horror is adopted into the Knights. He's also blindsided when Nightmare firmly tells everyone that Cross will be helping them. 🙏 (and then he becomes a Knight)
Poor Ccino putting up with these guys... <3
Oh yeah, stray city! Nightmare (if he did have godlike powers) definitely gives off a domain of safety for misfits + survivors. Like, Reaper's kingdom has a great reputation but. Nightmare is very specifically keen on helping people and taking care of them (even as they take care of him). So the cats, the wrongly-accused criminals, and the *rightly*-accused criminals who he thinks can change are all his now :] He attracts them like a beacon lol!
#new age au#welcome back btw!!#side note but I was beamed in the brain with the memory of that idea u had with Killer bring dust's wingnan abd I desoerately need to think#about it again so quick side-tracj-#but Killer inviting Reaper abd Geno to watch a training#because Dust is always so strong and cool in trainings! and he's great at it!#but the whole no-mask thing freaks Dust out because sometimes in that space he'd so comfortable he doesn't even wear his *hood*#so Killer ushers those two in#probably to sit beside Nightmare in the safest spot abd Dust and Horror are up for their training and Dust doesn't notice Geno and Reaper#cuz he's so focused in on Horror#and Killer is probably whispering about how the training works to the two while they watcg#and Dust is very impressive!#but then he picks up on the whispering and glances. probably to tell Killer to shut up. only to lose focus when he makes *direct eye comtact#* with Reaper. and that's not when he gets hit but suddenly his moves get more reckless cuz he wants to finish training *now*#and Horror totally obliterates his shoulder because Dust doesn't dodge like he normally would#and of course Horror full-stops + Dust crumples a bit (Glass Cannon) and Nightmare is quick to hop to his feet and go worry over Dust before#remembering Killer brought Geno and Reaper (<- though they seem worried too and ask if Dust is alright) and#just. Dust is *so* pissed at Killer it's ridiculous#okay I'm cutting this off here lmao sorry#back to the og point Ccino is so so bothered by the criminals. but Night has crazy luck picking out the few that truly are loyal-#when Night announces Cross is his final Knight after a few months of having him. Ccino is filled with relief lmao
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Pac: I'm glad you sorted things out! Truly.
Cellbit: We sorted things out, Pac.
Pac: [...] This was a joint effort. And I'm happy to know I can count on you too, Cellbit. Thank you so much. You didn't leave us behind, you didn't abandon us; you saved us.
Cellbit: We'll handle this. Everything that comes our way, Pac. We got here together, and we'll leave here together with our child when we find him. Right?
Pac: We will find him.
Cellbit: It wasn't just me, it wasn't just you, and it was also Forever. It was all of us [...] and that's why I need you all, because I know with you, we can accomplish whatever the hell we want.
Pac: We will!
[ Translations and clip provided by TZC_updates Thank you again! ]
#Cellbit#Pactw#QSMP#Favela Five#Pac#Oh this clip made my heart ache so much...#TZC_updates is honestly so great. If you are unfortunate enough to use Twitter and if you're a Tazercraft fan I highly recommend them#I can't always catch the Tazercraft streams so it's nice to see the updates#Anyways I reached out to them and asked if they'd be alright with me sharing this since I know we got a lot of Tazercraft fans here#(Myself included)#And this is a pretty darn important conversation#which I didn't want to just google-translate my way through#So once again: big thanks to them#They're awesome#Anyways. This clip killed me#I was gonna do a side by side comparison video of Cellbit offering his hand for a handshake and Pac giving him a hug instead#vs. after the Federation drug arc where Cellbit initiates the hug#but for the life of me I CANNOT find where I saved it#I'm usually really good about organizing my files but I'm starting to think I never ripped it off Twitch. agh#My computer files are very organized. Twitch clips... not so much#There's several hundred I never got around to downloading#I have a personal downloader I use but I typically only use that when watching VODs or if the clip is longer than 1 minute#anyways we're getting off topic. Enjoy the clip#I know I'm posting this a bit late but I don't want to forget#I've also got a very funny clip to share tomorrow#I'm so bad at timing this stuff but What Can Ya Do.#Translated
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I don't love Alexsandr Kallus because he's some precious, perfect paragon of a man; that's not what he is. I love Alexsandr Kallus because he was absolutely horrible and he changed. He made amends. He uprooted literally his entire life out of remorse for what he'd done in the past and determination to do better in the future. He sacrificed everything he'd ever built because it was built on the pain and death of others and he didn't want that to be the sum of his life anymore. He went into a future where all he knew he could expect was to be hunted because he was once the hunter and he wanted to make up for it. He opened his damn eyes and he looked at what he'd done and he said this isn't right, I'm going to be different from now on if it kills me. I love Alexsandr Kallus because he changed.
#alexsandr kallus#star wars#Star Wars rebels#agent kallus#his story just gets me alright?#he's living proof that even if you've done the wrong thing before you can still choose to do the right thing from now on#and he doesn't just defect and have done#he takes his sweet time thinking about his life and deciding what he wants to do#and THEN he's a spy for a long time#and he REFUSES to be extracted once because he wants to keep doing good#and THEN when there's absolutely nothing more he can do as a spy THEN he flees to join the rebellion on the ground#and he gives it his all#his imperial knowledge#and his fighting skill#and THEN he gets a happy ending#he didn't have to die to earn redemption#everything he did in his life was enough#I'm literally going to cry about him#you can never wipe your slate clean but you can start writing better things#and kallus is such a beautiful example of that#time for tears!!!!#he's just so real to me#he actually redeems himself#he actually cares about doing that not just about being accepted by the rebels#I love him ur honor#martianbugsbunny opines
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THE BEST OF MASS EFFECT: VIRMIRE
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard and Cmdr. Dominik Shepard With: Lt. Kaidan Alenko, Gun. Chief Ashley Williams, Urdnot Wrex, and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya Ft. Special Guest Appearances by: Spec. Saren Arterius and Sovereign There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it... Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#dominik shepard#kaidan alenko#ashley williams#urdnot wrex#tali’zorah vas normandy#mass effect#me#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#it’s been so long since i’ve made a BEST OF: lol but virmire called to me the other night#this isn’t really the same as the ME3 ones i’ve been breaking from tbf but also virmire is my favorite mission in ME1#and tbf this is a BEST OF: ME in general#i might make a series but i'm not quite sure yet this was just something that popped into my head when i was playing a UNC the other night#but i did get to use both the kids this time!!! :D#my favorite mindoir twins :)#bc we love BOTH sheps in this house!!!#but this was a lot of fun! i got to do some more interesting stuff with the editing and the coloring than i usually do :)#i was also planning on using a vision shot? but those are so jittery (right word?) in gif form that i scrapped it tbf#also pls excuse soph looking different in literally every gif pack i release lmaooooo#this is the last iteration of her head i promise lmao (actual canon ME1 appearance i swear ignore everything else lol)#finally fixed that sculpt and gave her her piercings and i think she matches up with dom a lil better now :)#tbf dom also went through 50 other iterations of his sculpt but i never giffed those. those are just in a screenshot folder on my PC lmao#i was gonna say OG dom versus now dom isn't that far off but tbh dom did have a CC head at one point#i call that head dan now bc i don't associate it with him anymore it looks nothing like him LMAO#OG OG soph looked crazy different too tbf. and she was an adept at one point before i scrapped that entirely.#oh OG versions of my kids how different you looked and how much you have changed#but the kids are alright! and i'll stop screaming about them now. :)#i’ll stop using the tags to rant now even if it is the mira special™️ but have a good day wherever you are!! :D
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We get a new colleague in December and i looked him up and he's so heavily und unconcealed right winged i feel nauseous. I mean he's Extremely right-winged. Climate change denier, corona denier, racist, anti gender equality, anti queer, everything. And i didn't try to dig up dirt or anything. It's literally the first thing you find if you just google his name
#i want to cry#i was literally shaking lmao#I'm still not able to wrap my head around this#the majority of the people of our team is relatively left politically so i really am baffled by this choice#i know i can't avoid people like this and you have to find a way to work with them even if they want you dead (lol)#but i don't really feel comfortable anymore working there if this is an acceptable candidate for them#or if people in the team are just completely fine with it even if they don't personally have these political views#if they're just 'ah idc I'm glad we have another colleague so we have less work' or something like this#or 'that's just how it is'. like i Know this is just how it is but we should be angry that a person like this is even considered#I'm sorry but i don't think you can separate your company or yourself from politics and worldviews#hiring such a person is a clear signal that you don't mind these political positions or even support them#like I'm sure there's more people in our department as a whole who are right leaning and afD etc supporters#but this man isn't even hiding it he's proudly writing articles over articles about his views and you're hiring him for a#position in which he will represent your company and your journal#alright whatever#i guess i'm going to look for a new job when my program is over#not because i think i can avoid people like this#but because i really lost all respect I had left for this company and our management#i KNOW they're everywhere. i KNOW! but still. fuck this#void screams
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[Tuvok/Janeway] Persistence of Vision: "We don't want more trouble in our lives!"
#Chakotay/Janeway/Tuvok Win: Chakotay isn't present and yet he is felt.#I'm saying the hot lady with the bigass knife is sort of Tuvok from Chakotay's pov#and also that Janeway feels guilty about her romantic feelings for Chakotay. Time to REPRESS! REPRESS! REPRESS!#Sometimes having a crush on a guy feels like a victorian lady trying to kill you#the voice crack!!!! of 'Tu vok PLEASE respond!!'#Tuvok#Kathryn Janeway#cameo by Mark Johnson's disembodied voice#and the victorian nanny I think Janeway should have had a romance with#bc I'm the smartest man alive#I love when star trek feels like a play - that's peak star trek#Tuvok flying in from offscreen 'Captain!!' <3 how dashing <3#Love how he didn't have any sort of telepathic thing going on he was just grabbing her by the wrists and shouting that he was there - that#she was alright - because she kept calling for him....you can feel how much he cares about her!!!#star trek voyager#st voyager#st voy#Tuvok/Janeway#romantic platonic sure but to me? a secret third thing#you cannot tell me the sentiment of 'Everything was fine before YOU came here. He trusted me. Now you're here - causing trouble. We don't#need more trouble in our lives.' is not Tuvok @ Chakotay
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