#I'm just so upset with myself for not having everything figured out and okay
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ohithankyou · 1 day ago
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decided to watch all of buck’s breakups last night and here are (part) of the conversations/how each of the breakups played out to compare and contrast if you so desire. i didn’t include the entire conversations because it would be too long and i think the parts i included capture the core of the breakups well enough.
note: information in square brackets is just some context i included since i didn't add the full conversations
buck and abby, breakup, 1x10:
[after abby’s mom passes and she books a ticket to ireland in an effort to find herself and what she wants]
abby: “. . .i care about you so much. you’re amazing. and these last few months, i think you've gotten me, at least halfway, to the person i want to be. but I've got to do this [go to ireland/travel] so that i know i have something to give.”
buck: “i’m excited for you. almost as much as i am, um, sad for me. i’m gonna miss you.”
abby: “i’m gonna miss you, too.”
[when buck is dropping her to the airport]
abby: "you're not gonna come in with me?"
buck: "i learned a while ago, you never go beyond the glass doors."
abby: "i must be crazy to be leaving you behind."
buck: "you're not leaving anything behind. you're moving toward something. and i'm gonna be right here when you come back, okay? go on. you got this, okay?"
abby: "take care of yourself, okay?"
buck: "you, too, abby."
buck and abby, ‘closure’, 3x18:
[after abby and buck meet for the first time since 1x10 when she and her finance are in a train derailment and buck + the 118 save his life]
abby: “. . .i just had no sense of self. i had to leave everything that i knew so that i could remember who i actually am.”
buck: “and you did, right? i mean, you did remember, but you still didn't come home.”
abby: “yeah, i know. i think i was afraid that if i came back, i would become that person again. because i missed you. i wanted to see you. but i didn't trust myself.”
buck: “because being here, being with me, you might lose yourself again?”
abby: “yeah.”
buck: “i’m glad to see you happy, abby. you deserve it.”
buck and ali, 2x18:
[after buck’s leg gets crushed under the fire truck and it hits ali what it means to be with a firefighter]
ali: “. . .look, it’s not like i didn't know you were in a dangerous line of work when i met you, you know, ten stories up of a collapsing high rise.”
buck: “exactly.”
ali: “that was one day. one day of my life, evan. it’s every day for you. i’m just starting to really understand what that means.”
buck: “wait, so-so you want me to quit my job, that's what you're asking me to do?”
ali: “no, i would never, i would never ask you to do that. listen. i know it's who you are. i’m just not sure. if it's…”
buck: “…who you are.”
ali: “hey. i don't know yet. okay?”
buck and taylor, 5x18:
[after taylor publishes the story about jonah buck had asked her not]
taylor: “. . .i’m sorry you're still upset about the story.”
buck: “you’re not sorry for what you did, though.”
taylor: “the story was gonna come out regardless. if i hadn't have broken it, someone else would have.”
buck: “you couldn't have called me first? no. you-you just, you figured i’d be fine. i’d get over it.”
taylor: “buck, i wasn't trying to hurt you or anyone else. i was just trying to get the truth out there. a truth the public has every right to know.”
buck: “this is literally our first argument all over again.”
taylor: “which is why we shouldn't be having it. you knew who i was when we started dating.”
buck: “i guess i thought i could learn to live with it.”
taylor: “i don't want to be something you have to learn to live with.”
buck: “and i don't want to keep on making the same mistakes. i need things to be different, taylor.”
taylor: “okay. i’m willing to try that. clean slate.”
buck: “yeah. just not together.”
buck and tommy, 8x06:
[after bucks tells tommy that he also dated abby]
buck: ". . .my relationship with abby was—it was the most transformative of my life. until now. look, i-i think one of the reasons that i am so comfortable with you is-is 'cause you're so comfortable with you."
tommy: "i wasn't always that way."
buck: "i know, i-i do. and honestly, it just makes me admire you more."
buck: "i want you to move in with me. i want you to move in with me. i-'m ready to take the next step. and i'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you. all I'm saying is, why be apart when we can be together?"
tommy: "evan, that is so sweet but I can't move in with you."
buck: "and why not?"
tommy: "because, i know how this ends."
buck: "uh, wh-what's that supposed to mean?"
tommy: "look, evan. you're an incredible guy. big-hearted. hot as hell. funny. impulsive. but what you're feeling right now is... is new. and it's exciting, and it feels like forever. but you're still figuring yourself out. and that's good."
buck: "what are you saying?"
tommy: "i'm saying no matter how bad i wanted to be, i'm not your last. i'm your first."
buck: "well, hey, they-they can be the same thing."
tommy: "but they usually aren't. if i were to move in with you, you wouldn't mean to, you wouldn't plan for it but you'd end up breaking my heart. and i, i don't think that i could deal with that."
tommy: "i should go."
buck: "wait, wait, wait, hey, hey, um... wait, d-did you just break up with me?"
tommy: "yeah. i guess i did. believe me, i didn't see it coming, either. should've known that parking spot was too good to be true. i'll see you around, buck."
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simpee9000 · 2 days ago
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You Were A Dream ~ 2 ~ T. Amajiki
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Blurb Idea : Part One (this is the last part btw) Description : Tamaki was always shy, but with you? He was doing everything he never expected. All with his best friend's sister. it felt like the words cruel joke on him. Yet for you, it was all like a dream. Word Count : 5.7k Warnings : Angst, Hints to Smut but none fr
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"Are you okay?" your brother asked when he opened the door to your apartment. The first question he's asked since.
And you ignored it.
Going straight to your room and slamming the door.
Falling face-first into your pillow so you could cry.
The realization of the gap between you and Tamaki was painful. The fact that you were so mentally in the relationship while he was still unsure? That was unthinkable.
A sinking feeling was being pressed into your chest, hurting your lungs as you took rapid breaths in, trying to stop crying.
The sinking feeling that Tamaki might not be the one at all. That this past year might of been a waste of hopes and false dreams.
It put a damper on everything.
Moping slightly around the workplace, shining a smile when needed just like your brother would. Just to drop the act at home. Dragging your feet and keeping your head hung low.
It felt pitiful. But you put your all into this relationship. You thought through everything with him, you told him everything.
Mirio started questioning you after a week.
"I didn't think Tamaki would affect you this bad," he was crossing his arms, a concerned look on his face as he left half his thoughts unspoken.
You gave him a dead stare, turning back to your phone and once again ignoring any conversation about this.
If Tamaki didn't want to talk to you about it, you didn't want to talk about it.
And while you were upset. You weren't going to throw him under the bus just to rant. His feelings were realistic, just entirely different than yours.
So you've been reevaluating everything.
This relationship might not work, and maybe you were stupid for thinking it would.
''Hi, beautiful."
You turned your head away from the printer, giving him a soft smile, "Hey Kaminari."
"Why so glum?" he walked next to you, leaning onto the side of the printer, eyeing the stack of work reports you were printing out.
You sighed, "Lots of stuff."
"Boyfriend?"
"Something like that," you shrugged, mindlessly watching the papers slide out of the machine.
"I'm all ears," his cheerful smile made you consider it.
"I just-" your eyes caught onto Tamaki's white hero hoodie, one he was holding down with his hands and turning away from you.
Kaminari glanced where you did, "Is he avoiding you or something?"
"Kind of? I don't know," you shook your head, taking your eyes of his figure and back to the papers.
"What happened?"
"We're just at different points in our relationship," you spoke softly, trying to keep your voice indifferent as you picked up your finished papers, "Might not be much of a relationship anymore."
"Oh, fuck- I'm sorry," Kaminari took the joy from his face as he gave you an apologetic look.
"It's fine," you walked to your office, having his steps behind, "It's my fault really, I got ahead of myself."
"Look," Kaminari stopped you just before your door, "Don't blame yourself for your feelings and don't apologize for them. It doesn't fix anything. You are allowed to feel stuff."
His unusual pep talk made you smile, "Thank you, I needed to hear that," you laughed lightly at how Kirishima has influenced the boy, "I've been telling myself I was overthinking."
"Nah, it's all normal," he smiled brightly at you, patting your shoulder before seeing himself off.
You watched after his figure, thinking over how to go about everything while respecting how you felt and how Tamaki did.
"What was that about?"
"Holy fuck!" You jumped at the voice behind you, "Die. Literally die, Mirio."
"What has you smiling? Boyfriend?"
You glared at him, giving him a disgusted look, "No, get out of my business."
"That look says you and your boyfriend aren't on good terms," Mirio hummed as if he cracked a code.
"No, that look means to fuck off," you walked into your office, shutting your door in his face.
He phased through anyway, "Come on, just tell me what happened, it's been two weeks."
You looked at the calendar on your computer, your anniversary is today.
"What just happened?" Mirio spoke more calmly, "You went from annoyed to just sad."
"Can you please go?" you set your papers down and slouched in your office chair. Rubbing at your eyes to push back the emotions.
"Sis-"
"Please?"
Mirio frowned, stepping out of the office and giving you as sad smile.
All you could do was stare at your computer. The date is brightly marked in your brain and on the screen.
Just for your phone to be void of anything.
For good measure, you opened your phone again, checking your messages.
The last ones just being saddening.
"Can't wait to see your costume!" "I look stupid" "Maybe you'll let me take it off you then?" "oh"
After that there was nothing. No calls, no texts, no stupid Instagram reels. Nothing.
You turned off your phone, tossing it screen down on the desk with a sigh.
The urge to cry was strong, but when you held your head in your hands and looked down, you reminded yourself of all the work you had.
You'd cry when you got home.
Barely getting into your apartment before tears started falling.
You along with them. Shutting the door behind you and slumping against it.
A year wasted felt horrible. You wanted this to work so bad. But if he couldn't talk or come to you after clearly hurting you, then it wasn't worth it.
Sure, you could text him. But the communication on your side was fine, yet he never discussed his. You felt blindsided somewhat.
You deserved more from that.
So you took a deep breath and forced yourself to stand.
This was your anniversary after all, and maybe you wanted that box of brownies buried in your cabinet all for yourself.
Uncovering it and starting to mix it all together, ignoring how you were supposed to make these with Tamaki.
"Hey," Mirio dragged out the word when he opened the door.
"Not sharing," you continued to mix the brownies.
"I brought you someone."
"I don't really wanna hang out with your girlfriend," you tried to decline nicely.
"You sure?"
"Mirio-" you turned around and saw Tamaki messing with his fingers.
"I'll leave you to it," Mirio chirped, "Don't know what happened but I want it resolved."
You slumped further, "Don't bother Mirio, it's fine."
"Huh?" he stopped his steps out.
"He's all yours," you shrugged.
"You don't wanna fix this?" Tamaki spoke softly.
"What is there to fix?" you looked at him plainly, trying to mask the fact you cried over him an hour ago, a day ago, and a week ago.
Tamaki looked between you and Mirio.
You took a deep breath in, ready to let go of the past year.
"Our relationship? Do you just want to break up?" Tamaki asked, voice wobbly.
"Huh?"
You blinked at him, ignoring Mirio's confusion. "I don't want to break up, I thought you wanted to?"
"No, I just-" he looked at Mirio again, "Can we talk about this? Like- somewhere else?"
"Why?"
He nodded his head towards Mirio.
"Do you not want him to know about our relationship? Because you just announced it," you crossed your arms. It seemed like he was okay with dating you, just didn't want Mirio to know any details.
"That's not-" he shook his head, shutting his mouth and looking at Mirio, "We've been dating for a year. I'm- I'm so sorry for not telling you."
"Oh," Mirio shifted how he was standing, "We can talk about that later. Sort out whatever happened, Imma go see Hado." Giving you his signature look of 'call me if you need me'.
Tamaki watched him leave in silence.
"He's going to hate me," he mumbled.
You shrugged, "I doubt it."
Silence rang throughout the room, leaving you to set your brownies into the oven.
"I'm sorry I never talked to you," Tamaki spoke softly, ashamed. You went to turn around before his voice stopped you, "Please- don't look at me. I won't be able to say what I need to."
"I can't be with someone who can't look at me," you sighed, "and don't be someone you're not for me."
"I want to though, I want to better myself for you."
You turned to face him, "Then I need you telling me to my face."
He frowned, lips wobbling as he looked at you.
Deciding not to let the conversation start off so bitter, and completely in his hands, you took a deep breath, "It's our anniversary."
"I- I know," Tamaki tightened his hold on his hand, "I wanted to see you sooner."
"Why didn't you?" You crossed your arms, leaning to rest on the counter behind you, "You could of texted, or called."
Tamaki looked down, ashamed, "I thought you'd ignore it."
"So you didn't even bother trying?"
"I felt like you deserved more, wanted more- So I waited until I could come over without Mirio being suspicious," Tamaki rambled slightly, "Then I realized that was stupid- so I just asked to talk to you through him."
You hummed in agreement, looking at the brownies cooking in the oven rather than him.
"I don't care if he knows, not anymore-"
"Tamaki," you sighed, "That's hardly the thing I'm upset about."
"It's not?" he asked quietly.
"No, I understand you not wanting to tell him- Hell, I hardly wanted to because of how he acts- but the way you went about it? The afterward?" you turned to look at him now, trying to stress your point, "I can dismiss how you said you'd never wanted me to meet your girlfriend. It was a panicked response, hurtful but I can understand your side."
"I truly didn't mean for it to come out that way- I just didn't want Mirio to think I'd choose someone else-"
"That's the issue," you cut him off, wanting to get to the point, "You should choose someone else sometimes- and the way you view our relationship as new? We have entirely different viewpoints and priorities. I can't understand how you told me I'm new- I just- do you know how unvalued that made me feel?" you let your arms fall to your sides, defeated.
Tamaki just blinked at you for a moment, soaking in each word you just said. Watching how your shoulders slump and the way you curl in on yourself. "I didn't mean to- I was just trying to make you see my point."
"By hurting my feelings? I get you were stressed but you completely disregarded me, and our relationship. When I pointed out it'd be a year in two weeks- you just shrugged it off," you huffed, feeling the tears weld behind your eyes once again. He was just proving your thoughts correct. "You didn't even try to call me."
"You didn't text me so I thought-"
"Stop thinking so negatively of me. If you think I'd act in an intentionally hurtful way then why be with me? It's just sad to hear what you think of me. I didn't think for a second you were intentionally trying to hurt me, I just thought you were stressed," you shrugged aggressively, hands thrown into the air "Maybe that's me being naive, I don't know. But you should have reached out, you were the one who hurt me and I made that clear."
He just stared at the floor. Body frozen. So you did the same, unable to look at him as you tried to steady your voice.
You lowered your voice to a whisper, "Maybe we just aren't right for each other. I need someone who matches my priorities and can communicate with me fully- or at least attempt to. I don't think that's too much to ask. It'd make your friendship less awkward too."
"That's not-" Tamaki spoke out panicked, stepping closer to you as you looked up, "I don't want that- at all. I need to work on that, a hundred percent- I'll start right now. You are my top priority, I just completely panicked. I don't care if Mirio knows or if he's mad- well I do in case we get married- I wouldn't want your brother to hate me. But- you mean the most to me. I should have reached out but I got too stuck in my head over how you'd react. It wasn't fair."
His eyes were flickering across your face, trying to catch a glimpse of the slightest change.
"I should have thought more- should have told you more about what I thought," Tamaki lifted his hands briefly- pausing in an attempt to grab your hands before dropping them back to his sides. "I'll do better- I'll prove that my priorities match yours. I just needed to get over telling Mirio- and I did-"
"What happens the next time there's a bump in the road? Will you shut down again and assume the worst? Will you run away from me after being hurtful?" you were closing yourself off, crossing your arms. You didn't even know how to think.
If this were your friend, you'd tell her she is dumb if she believes he's going to change. But you wanted to believe it too. Maybe Tamaki was different, he has always been someone who adapts to things overtime. Maybe you were just dumb.
"I don't know for sure what will happen then, but I know I will try to be better. I want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you- I just don't know how and I should have asked. I'll work on it all- I should have done it sooner," he spoke quickly, slowly getting closer to your space.
You looked away, overwhelmed with his presence, "I don't think I can get over how you dismissed our relationship and our anniversary."
"I just panicked, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'd do if you told me the same. I um- I got you a gift for it- but I don't think now's the time-" he shuffled awkwardly, grabbing something in his pocket briefly before dropping his hand. "I can't explain how sorry I am."
You took a deep breath, he sounded genuine but you were still hurt, "Can I have some time to think about it? I want to believe you- I just don't know how a relationship would work if you didn't communicate to me more."
He stepped away from you, hurt, "Yeah- we can do that- Um- I'll give you your space."
"I don't want space, I just want to think on it," you clarified, hoping he'd get what you meant.
"I'll let you do that then," he shuffled back awkwardly, making his way to the door, "I'll- I'll just leave this here." He took a box out of his pocket and placed it on the counter, awkwardly patting it before speaking, "It's an anniversary gift- don't feel like I'm trying to change your mind- I'm just going to leave you." He blabbed as he fumbled with the door to get it opened.
"It's fine, get home safe," you watched him leave.
He peeked his head back into the room, "I love you- don't feel the need to say it ba-"
"I love you too, get home in one piece," you held back a giggle at his anxiousness and the way his face brightened at your words, ears turning red as he held his head down and walked out of your apartment.
The beeping of the oven caught your attention just as the door closed behind him.
Leaving you to eat the brownies while they were still burning hot.
You're glad he came to you- even though it took two weeks. He still came to you. He said he'd changed, so all you could do was wait and see.
"Home, I hope the brownies you made hit the craving you talked about"
He texted you, so that was a start.
When Mirio came home you were curious about his response to everything.
So seeing him come home with his brows furrowed and his mouth in a frown alarmed you.
"You good?" you asked, half chewing the brownie you cut out.
"Tamaki's the guy you've been seeing? The dude you've been upset over?" He crossed his arms in front of you, standing across the counter from where you sat at the island.
"Yeah," you shrugged, you didn't want a lecture.
"How come you guys never told me?"
You gave him a pointed look, "Really? You got weird when me and him were in the same room."
"Because I knew he liked you and I didn't want him to make you uncomfortable," he huffed, "I'm fine with you guys dating- I just wish I was told. I had a feeling anyways."
"Sure," you rolled your eyes.
"I did! He looked at you odd," he pouted, before taking on another serious face, "Did you guys resolve the issue?"
You shrugged again, "I don't know, It's a mess right now."
"What even happened?" he asked as he slumped into the couch you were sitting next to.
You slumped further into your seat, "The thing he said at the party started an argument is all."
"He was telling me he wasn't talking with you, like communicating well," Mirio added, trying to show he knew some details.
"Yeah," you shrugged, "I don't really wanna talk about it all."
"Okay," he drummed his fingers on the couch, "That movie you talked about is on streaming, wanna watch it?"
Since then, Tamaki has been trying every day. He was also trying to let you think for yourself so that led to awkward moments. He'd ask you to come over then fumble for an excuse to cancel. He was proving he'd try, and that's all you wanted.
He also started to bring you a coffee in the morning before scattering off to his own work.
"Denki, that's single-handedly the dumbest thing you've ever said," you laughed, he just said he didn't understand what you were talking about when you mentioned an article over 'human connection' and asked what that even meant.
"I'm just confused," he threw his hands up, "What's human connection?"
"Socializing," you explained, "Like, humans interacting and making a connection, stupid."
"Oh," he blinked at you.
You rolled your eyes and caught Tamaki's eye across the room, looking at you with a frown. Not really at you either, mainly at Denki.
Denki noticed your far off look, looking over his shoulder to see what you were. "Should I go?" he laughed awkwardly.
You shrugged, "If he has an issue with it, he can tell me." You looked back at Denki.
"Okay, I guess," he dragged out, shuffling on his feet, "I took your advice."
"Hm?"
"With Jirou, I asked her out finally," he spoke as if a weight on his shoulders disappeared. He's been talking to you about her for the past few weeks, wanting to be a cheesy couple during the holidays.
"Really?" you jumped up, "What happened?"
He sighed, "She's um, she's dating Momo, Creati if you didn't know."
"Oh, Denki that sucks, but at least you know," you frowned at him, "Did it affect how she treats you, or anything?"
"No, she's not the type to do that, she kinda just brushed it off and told me she had a girlfriend," he shrugged, looking around the office rather than you, "It sucks though, I've had a thing for her since first year."
She seemed to go about it in a nice way, he just seemed disappointed. "Didn't you say Kirishima's new assistant caught your eye?"
"I don't even know her, with Jirou I actually saw a personality behind the looks."
"That just means you need to do that again, you'll get that interest again, just gotta look for it," you shrugged, looking at the time on the clock and grabbing at your papers, you had a meeting in five minutes.
"Says the one that's with her childhood crush," he huffed, "I wish I had that spark."
"It's not all that it's cut out to be, but I see what you mean, I thought the same thing until it happened to me," you tried to reassure, giving him a pointed look, "You'll find someone, just gotta actually look for them not just their looks."
Denki scoffed, "You sound like Kacchan, hopeless romantic bullshit."
"It's not bullshit," you laughed, "I'll help set you up with a friend if you want? Text me if you do, meeting time."
"I think about it," he hummed, "Good luck with your meeting."
You padded towards the meeting doors, opening them to make a beeline towards your assigned seat with all the papers you had over your assignments this month. Smiling at the coffee cup sat next to your nametag with a little T written on it.
Though he gave you a smile during the meeting, you only got to talk afterward.
"Why'd Chargebolt look so upset?" Tamaki asked first thing. You were still collecting your papers into a pile when you asked so you looked at him confused. "Earlier, when the two of you were talking, he- this isn't a jealous thing- I'm just confused- Isn't he the I don't know, happy one?"
Happy with the confirmation of why he was asking, you answered, "He asked someone out and it didn't go to well, he's liked them since forever too."
"Oh," he hummed, "Sorry, I just noticed the way your face dropped with his- I thought maybe something bad happened and that you wouldn't- never mind."
You raised your brow at his rambling and the cut-off, tucking the papers neatly into your arm before looking at him with your full attention.
He let out a sigh, "I was worried something happened, and that you wouldn't tell me. I'm kind of- insecure I guess, lately, since I don't know what we are and how we stand on that stuff."
"Fair, I don't know where we stand either, I still need to think it over. I can see that you're trying though, I appreciate it," you smiled, "But just know that you're probably the first I'd go to still," you added, feeling somewhat guiltily that you had his strung along.
"Okay," he smiled back, "I'd go to you first too."
You continued on with your day separately afterward.
Falling asleep and waking up to the same dream since you've told him to wait.
The dream of how you guys used to be, it was cute, it also made you yearn for it. The dream went over the before, then to the fight, then ended with you going to his apartment and confessing your love and want for him.
You've been sitting with it for a while, he's shown change but you wanted to know fully. The decision was made but you still wanted to be confirmed you wouldn't regret it.
The light in your room was dim, but the light through the window casted a prefect sliver of light on the jewelry box that Tamaki left with you after the fight.
You still haven't opened it.
Not wanting it to be attached to a negative memory of him, you left it to the side. Knowing that if you opened it then, you'd only think of the fight when he gave it. So you waited till your mind was made up.
Which it was, and since you couldn't act like how you did in your dream and run to his apartment in the middle of the night, it felt fair to open it now.
So you rolled yourself out of bed and turned on your desk lamp, lighting up the box perfectly. It was a deep navy velvet, the coating all fancy ring boxes have. Clicking open easily to shine your favorite tone of jewelry shimmering with a very pale blue butterfly being held as a pendant. Something he mentioned was his favorite, something he said he gave to those he loved most.
Something Mirio was never gifted.
His mom had a bracelet with small gold butterflies making the chain, he got it for her after his first paycheck. She was the only one he had given one to, until now.
You shouldn't have immediately compared yourself with your brother, but you couldn't help it. You fully had something he didn't.
Now you really wanted to act on your dream and run to him. Already throwing on a hoodie and pants, and shoving your foot into a slip-on shoe before you could think. Grabbing your keys off your desk before running out the door.
Ignoring the sirens going off faintly in the distance, another hero could deal with it, and running towards his apartment in the snow.
Ever the romantic, you were, you were inwardly laughing to yourself at the cheesy romance. Feeling giddy as you pressed his floor number in the elevator. This was just like every rom-com ever. The love interest running through bad weather to reunite. It was like everything you dreamed of.
Pounding at his door as you bit your cheek, nerves running through you at the fact you were getting your relationship back.
After a few knocks, you went to check your phone for the time, noticing the lack of weight in your pocket and the fact you didn't know your phone.
You knocked louder, disappointment settling in.
You heard a door click open behind you, and a groggy mumble of your name as well.
"Denki?" you turned towards Kirishima's door, "What are you doing here?"
"Kiri asked me to dog sit," he looked at you weirdly, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm getting back with Tamaki- speaking of which- do you know where he is? I don't have my phone," you rocked on the heels of your feet, the nerves of talking about it all, getting to you.
Denki's face dropped, "You don't have your phone? Did you walk here?"
"Yeah- why do you look so freaked out?"
"The fucking news- I thought you would have seen it- fuck- hold on," he walked back inside.
You stepped near the door, confused, "What news? You're freaking me out."
He grabbed his keys and shoved his feet in crocs before motioning you to walk with him, "I don't- Amajiki is in the hospital- it just fucking happened- I'm surprised you didn't hear it on the way here."
Your feet stuttered as you walked, tripping you to run into him, "The fuck?"
Denki picked up your hand and pulled you into the elevator, "The building clasped on him while he was helping people evacuate from a fire. The news stopped broadcasting it afterwards."
Everything that was running in your body stopped, you felt nothing.
"I tried calling you- I'm sorry- fuck I'm so sorry."
You didn't even register anything until Mirio was wrapping you into a tight hug at the hospital. Mumbling frantic 'I'm sorry' and 'I tried to save him's.
Soaking in the look of the hospital. Nurses and doctors running around to each hero on the floor. Some from the same incident as Tamaki and some from another horrific event.
Being a hero, and friends with heroes, meant a secure fact of never being safe and never a promised day. You weren't living some type of fairytale dream, no matter how much you believed that. You just never imagine how it'd feel to look at your loved one while they were being stabilized with fluids and oxygen.
It felt like there was cotton shoved in your ears. A weight in your chest and something stuck in your throat. Nothing of you would function as you stood at the end of his bed. Listening to the nurse discuss his state and not being able to ask anything further. Just feeling lost.
A lot of smoke was in his lungs, it was the main reason he was in the hospital. He was on oxygen because of that. Then he was on fluids because of how his quirk worked, it depleted him of what he needed as he used it before he passed out from all the smoke. He also broke his arm, shattered from the ceiling caving in on him.
All you could think was that you were glad he wasn't dead.
It only took him a couple of hours to wake up, luckily. With how guilty your brother acted and how sorry Denki looked, you felt like he was dead. Yet you still felt nauseous when you heard him speak.
"Could I get some water?" he croaked. You jumped from your seat, not expecting his voice as you zoned out on his broken arm.
His voice was absolutely shattered, and he chugged the water the second you handed it to him. Listening to you tell him everything the doctors told you and calling the doctors in to talk with him about staying until the afternoon for his vitals to stabilize fully.
"Sorry I scared you," he mumbled quietly after the door clicked shut, his thumb tracing over your knuckles, you held his hands when the doctors came in.
"You were saving people, it's your job," you spoke for him but also yourself, you wanted to be mad that he could have died before you got to confess everything, but you couldn't be. You were the one who waited after all.
He just stayed silently for a moment, "Is that the necklace?"
You reached your free hand to touch it, "Yeah."
"Why now?"
"I um, I put it on before I knew anything happened. I was coming over to your apartment to talk about everything- and then Denki told me what happened," you squeezed his hand tighter.
"You were going to talk to me? What about?" his voice was still shot but he sounded more nervous, his heart rate shower higher on the monitor.
"It's not something we should talk about in a hospital room" you laughed softly, "It can wait."
"I wanna talk about it now, I don't care," his voice was somewhat firm but was also pleading. It made you look at him more, his hair was a mess, hardly in the shape he tried to keep it in. He had smudges of ash on his cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. Skin paler than normal. To word it simply, he looked horrible. The last thing you wanted to do was make him anxious.
"I've decided," you turned to sit next to him, moving to have his hand in your lap as you looked at him, "I definitely want to be with you, though our problems definitely still need to be communicated more, we should do that together."
"You're not saying this out of guilt right?" he mumbled, a frown and worried eyes showing his worry.
"No, I was already at your apartment before I knew, I made up my mind a couple of days ago."
"Thank fuck." You laughed at his uncommon swear. "I'll do everything I can to keep you happy," he squeezed your hand this time, and when you hummed in reply, he moved past it, "Do you like the necklace?"
"I love it," you smiled, "it's perfect."
He blushed, "I was worried you'd hate it, I had to keep checking your jewelry to know which you liked more, gold or silver."
"Well you were right, I'm never taking this off- by the way," you laughed softly, wanting to go in for a hug but noticing him flinch his broken arm away. "-Shit- sorry."
"We- can- if you want-" he coughed out of awkwardness, not smoke, before he mumbled, "kiss."
You took his offer instantly, connecting your lips gently for the first time in almost a month. Feeling the spark from before and tasting the smoke he inhaled. Pulling away with a laugh when his heart rate monitor started blaring at how fast it was beating. 
After he was cleared from the hospital, you stayed with him. Having Hado bring you a bag of clothes so you wouldn't have to leave him alone and after a long joking, but not joking, sex talk with Mirio, you were left alone with him.
You were babying him, you'll admit it. But you felt bad, you basically left him and while on the way to get him back you ignored him almost dying. You didn't know, but you should have.
Dishing up the ordering of his favorite food while he watched his favorite show on the couch.
"You don't have to do all this, you know," he mumbled when you handed him the dish.
"Let me have this," you sighed out, "I should have told you I wanted to continue our relationship but I made you wait- then it led me to-"
"It's not your fault," he cut you off, leaving you to huff and sit next to him.
Not knowing what else to say, that he wouldn't object, you settled on the truth, "I love you."
As always, he flushed red and choked on his ramen. Only mumbled a quiet 'I love you too' after he got his food down correctly.
You let him enjoy his food before saying anything else, letting him place the empty bowl on the table with another 'thank you' before you start talking about it again. "I had a dream before all that happened too," you looked down at your hands, "It was super cheesy- I did basically what I ended up doing before I found out what happened. I rushed out of my house in the middle of the night, running through the snow to get to you."
He let you think over your words, noticing you were just trying to explain how you felt.
"I just rushed out without a thought to grab my phone- it was dumb of me."
"You could never have known," Tamaki placed his hand on your knee to drag your attention to him, "It's not like your dream could have predicted that- life isn't like dreams."
"It is with you," you whispered when you looked up.
"Cheesy," he cringed, voice still soft with a smile regardless, his nose wrinkling, "You were a dream too."
He leaned in for a kiss, laughing along with you at how corny everything felt. It was everything your younger felt hoped for with just a bit more realism, it was beautiful.
You deepened the kiss once the laughter faded, going to grab his shoulder before he jerked away in pain. "Shit- sorry," you mumbled, pulling back to look at his arm.
"It's fine," he pulled you into him again with his good arm, dragging you partly in his lap, as much as he could, before he settled his hand on your hip.
"Really?" you pulled back and gave him a look, your hips were perfectly over his.
He blushed, "It's been a while since we kissed," he said in explanation.
"If only you weren't broken," you laughed, giving him a peck on the lips before moving to get off his lap.
"Hey," he held you to his lap with his hand, face still shy, "Not all of me is broken."
"Tamaki, we are not having sex for the first time with you injured," you laughed at how out of character he was being, "What happened to you being shy?"
"You told me to communicate," he frowned, "We can still kiss then? I just- I wanna be close to you. I missed you.."
"I didn't expect you to communicate sex stuff," you laughed at how he was truly going above and beyond what you asked.
He rolled his eyes, "Can we?"
"Of course," you smiled before leaning back in to kiss him.
Younger you would faint at the position he had you in once his arm was healed a week after from healing quirks.
Dreaming that he'd be so soft and loving- and while he was- he was also lost. The second he slipped his dick into you after all the foreplay, he moaned so loud. He let go of any shyness he had and started whimpering in your neck.
And that's just to put it nicely.
---
~ Part one ~ My Full Master List ~
I'll probably make a few blurbs about this if people want but I could not for the life of me write a full smut scene.
Happy Holidays!
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roebeanstalk · 2 months ago
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current mood: embarrassed for existing
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musical-chick-13 · 10 months ago
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The thing is, like...yeah, a lot of times, the Social Exclusion I've experienced has been from people I probably wouldn't have wanted to be friends with anyway. At the very least, if someone is willing to do that, if someone is going to be that judgmental over things that don't actually matter, then any actual friendship with them probably wouldn't last very long.
But...it still hurts. Because regardless of how you actually feel about these people, it's still another instance of somebody telling you that you're too annoying or too much or too emotional or too whatever. It's still one more thing that people don't even give you the choice to have? And if you hear this over and over again, if it happens everywhere you go, then after a certain point it gets difficult to not internalize it at least a little bit.
It's been 30 years of this and it never gets any easier.
#and obviously I DO have friends who mean a great deal to me. I'm not discounting that at ALL.#the sad unfortunate fact is that the vast majority of those people live far away from me#so if I want to find any kind of community that I can actually access on a regular basis...if I want to be part of like. an actual Group.#(as opposed to having a few distinct individual people I hang out with occasionally or speak to sometimes) then...that kind of.#depends on people in my general immediate sphere like. accepting me. on having several to a bunch of them accepting me.#I cannot control that! and I can try to be a kind person and live out my values and be genuine and patient and authentic and understanding#and all of the things that are important to me but I CANNOT CONTROL WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO. THIS IS NOT UP TO ME.#it's so incredibly frustrating whenever people go 'just love yourself' because yeah we SHOULD all work toward being okay with#ourselves but humans crave community. most of us need emotional support! me loving myself isn't going to guarantee those#things because OTHER PEOPLE need to be involved and view me positively for that!!!!! and generally they just don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(it also doesn't help that a lot of Groups™/communities/etc. have like. one or a few people who are kind of The Head Of The Group#and either explicitly or implicitly run everything. so even if the GROUP MEMBERS are okay with you. if that one or two people aren't then#tough luck you STILL are prevented from entering that particular social space)#sorry something like. happened recently. in this vein. and it REALLY shouldn't have upset me but. you know. it still did.#my entire life has been this battle of trying to figure out how to be 'good enough' and my fucking GOD I am so tired#WHAT ARE THE RULES!!! WHAT IS THE KEY!!!!!!#like do I just have to put out an ad on craigslist?? TELL ME THE SECRET HERE#In the Vents
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myth1cs · 1 month ago
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Closing shift (Chou Tzuyu x M!Reader)
Twice Smut ... I'm sorry Word Count: 2283
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Working the closing shift at a cafe was always relaxing for me.
It was always mostly empty and I was able to relax with the soft piano music playing in the cafe. Along with the fact that it was now snowing and I enjoyed seeing the snow fall making the outside look pretty. But today was even better as I got to work with Tzuyu.
I was behind the register counting the money and I couldn't help but stare at Tzuyu while she was cleaning the tables. The way her jeans hugged her legs so tightly was so addicting.
I must have been staring for too long because out of no where Tzuyu spoke up. "Can I help you Y/N?" Tzuyu said while looking at me in the eyes.
"O-oh no I was just lost in thought" I didn't know if Tzuyu would believe me.
"Well okay Y/N but just focus on finishing your work so we can close the cafe." Tzuyu said before she got back to work.
I tried to go back to doing my task but I couldn't stop thinking about Tzuyu. The way her hips swayed when she walked and her butt that looked like it would feel so tight around my cock. Everything about Tzuyu was just so addicting.
"Y/N when are you going to stop acting?" I looked up and saw Tzuyu was staring at me.
"What do you mean Tzuyu?"
"Oh don't act dumb Y/N I see you and how you stare at me. You want to have sex with me don't you?"
Tzuyu walked up to me crossing her arms and looked me dead in the eyes.
"No I would never-"
Tzuyu suddenly pulled me close to her and whispered into my ear. "It's okay cause I want to do it with you to."
I pulled Tzuyu into a kiss and started to put my hands on her body. Tzuyu kissed back roughly and we made out.
Suddenly Tzuyu dropped to her knees and started to pull my pants down. "Y/N are you ready?" I nodded to signal to Tzuyu she could start sucking.
She was really good my legs started shaking. I didn't know Tzuyu was so-
"Y/N WAKE UP"
I got up and saw Tzuyu looking at me slightly annoyed.
"Wh-what happened?"
"You fell asleep on the counter is what happened. I've been shaking you to wake up but you never did so I started screaming."
I felt embarrassed. I can't believe I dreamed having sex with Tzuyu.
"I'm sorry Tzuyu I'm just really tired right now." I apologized profusely to Tzuyu and she let out a sigh.
"Look Y/N I understand but I want to go home and I can't go until we both finish our tasks."
"It won't happen again I promise."
"Just hurry up and don't fall asleep this time." Tzuyu said as she went back to cleaning the tables. I pulled myself together before I went back to doing my tasks.
The next day came around and once again I had the closing shift with Tzuyu. This time I was doing the dishes while Tzuyu mopped the floor. Suddenly the power went out and the backup generator kicked in bringing back some light to the cafe.
Suddenly I got a weather alert on my phone and it said that there was a blizzard and to stay off the roads.
Suddenly Tzuyu came into the kitchen. "Did you get the weather alert to Y/N?" I nodded and Tzuyu sighed "Well we can't go home in this weather so I guess we're stuck here."
"Well blizzard or no blizzard we still have to get our tasks done."
"Ugh don't remind me!" Tzuyu said looking upset "But you're right let's just finish and we can figure out what to do from there." Tzuyu groaned as she went back to mop the floor.
After thirty minutes we both finished our tasks and we both went in the break room and were on our phones to pass the time until suddenly the lights went out and it started getting cold.
"Why is it getting so cold in here?" Tzuyu said while shivering.
"The backup generator probably failed."
"Well fuck Y/N what are we gonna do now? Freeze our asses off until the weather calms down?"
"Didn't you bring a jacket with you?"
"I did but I left it in my car." Tzuyu said probably regretting she didn't just bring it in and leave it in the break room.
"Y/N let's cuddle."
When I heard that I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming again.
"You want to cuddle?"
"Yeah so we can share body heat, I don't want to freeze in here."
I moved closer to Tzuyu and wrapped my arms around her while she did the same."
To say I felt slightly weird would be an understatement. I was having a hard time trying to calm myself so my cock wouldn't start rising. Being able to feel Tzuyu's breath on me wasn't helping.
I tried to push my dirty thoughts away but I felt my cock was rising.
"Tzuyu I need to go use the restroom do you mind?"
"Don't take too long Y/N." Tzuyu said as she unwrapped her arms around me.
I quickly got up and made my way to the bathroom that was in the break room. I quickly took my pants off and started to pump my cock so I could relieve myself. I tried keeping my moans low so Tzuyu wouldn't hear but I suddenly heard other moans that weren't mine.
I slightly opened the bathroom door and saw Tzuyu with her jeans off fingering herself. "Ah~ Y/N why would you dream about fucking me instead of just asking me to fuck you."
Without putting my pants back on I walked closer to Tzuyu to confirm I wasn't hearing things.
"Fuck Y/N why can't you just ask me out already?"
As I was walking closer to Tzuyu the floor suddenly creaked which made Tzuyu suddenly look in my direction.
"Y/N? I thought you were using the bathroom ... no wait why are your pants off?"
"Tzuyu why were you fingering yourself?" Tzuyu suddenly blushed and looked away.
"Why are you even asking I'm sure you heard what I was just saying."
I sat down next to Tzuyu feeling the cold couch.
"How did you know I was dreaming about having sex with you yesterday?"
"I heard you moaning my name while you were dreaming yesterday. You were also breathing heavily while we were cuddling so I just assumed." Tzuyu said with a smile looking at me once again.
"Well Tzuyu you said you were cold and that I should ask to fuck you so how about we take care of both those problems?"
Tzuyu took off her apron and her shirt and leaned in to kiss me. I kissed Tzuyu roughly and we held each other close.
Tzuyu started to take off my shirt and apron and threw it across the room. We were both extremely cold but we didn't care.
As our kiss turned more intimate I put a finger inside Tzuyu's pussy which elicited a moan from her. Tzuyu's pussy gripped my finger extremely tight. "Tzuyu is this your first time?"
Tzuyu nodded "Yes Y/N this is my first time. Am I also your first?" I shoved another finger inside of Tzuyu before responding "This is the first time for me also."
My other hand went up and grabbed Tzuyu's breasts. They were bigger than I thought. I squeezed her soft breasts and put another finger inside of Tzuyu.
"Ah ~ Fuck yes Y/N finger my pussy it's yours now."
The amount of heat we were in made us forget all about how cold it was. I continued thrusting my fingers into Tzuyu until she squirted all over my fingers. "Do you want to know how you taste like Tzuyu?" Tzuyu nodded and I let her suck my fingers clean.
While Tzuyu was laying down on the couch trying to calm herself down after reaching her high I walked over to the mini fridge in the break room and pulled out a block of ice. I walked back over to Tzuyu and shoved the ice block inside of Tzuyu's pussy.
"AH FUCK Y/N ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Tzuyu yelped from the extreme cold of the ice cube.
Before she could keep complaining I shoved my cock into Tzuyu's mouth and started thrusting in and out of her mouth. Tzuyu started running her tongue along my cock.
While I was using Tzuyu's mouth for my pleasure I used this opportunity to explore Tzuyu's body with my hands.
After some time I pulled out and Tzuyu started gasping for air. I pulled the ice cube out from Tzuyu's pussy to help her relax.
I turned Tzuyu over so her face was facing down on the couch. My cock was covered in Tzuyu's saliva so I wasn't worried about finding it hard to shove my cock inside Tzuyu's ass.
"Y/N please let me relax a bit first."
I didn't want to stop yet but I also didn't want Tzuyu to have a bad first time having sex.
I massaged Tzuyu's back while I grabbed the ice cube that was in Tzuyu's pussy and put it in my mouth.
Tzuyu's juices tasted delicious honestly I would want to taste her everyday if I could.
I continued to massage Tzuyu's back to help her relax. Eventually she spoke up "Okay Y/N I'm good now."
"Are you sure we can stop if you want."
"No Y/N trust me I'm fine."
With Tzuyu's permission I put my cock in Tzuyu's tight ass and started to thrust in her at a fast pace.
"YES Y/N FUCK MY ASS" Tzuyu screamed
I spanked her ass leaving a red mark on her ass cheek.
I started to pick up the place and started to squeeze Tzuyu's ass. Tzuyu couldn't stop moaning and she wasn't able to form any words.
I felt myself reaching my high and I thrusted as fast as I could inside Tzuyu. Eventually I came inside Tzuyu's ass. So much cum came out of me some started to leak out of Tzuyu's ass.
"Y/N that was great your cum made me so warm." Tzuyu looked at my cock and realized it was still hard. "Want to do one more round?"
I nodded and asked her if I could cum in her pussy.
Tzuyu smiled "You can go ahead, you can cum in my pussy if you want. Don't worry I'm on birth control so don't worry about me getting pregnant."
With Tzuyu's permission I went ahead and turned Tzuyu over so I could look at her face and then I put my cock inside of Tzuyu's pussy.
"Ah fuck Y/N stop for a minute and let me adjust to your cock."
I stopped and looked at Tzuyu worriedly. "I can pull out if you're in too much pain."
"No Y/N don't pull out just give me a minute."
"Okay Tzuyu but if it ever becomes too much for you just tell me. I don't want you to have a bad first time."
"Thank you for worrying about me Y/N."
After a few minutes Tzuyu told me to continue and I continued to put my cock deep inside Tzuyu.
I started off slow and Tzuyu whined for a while but eventually she adjusted and started to beg for me to go faster.
"Y/N ... faster please."
I quickened up my pace and we were both moaning as loud as we could not caring about anything else in the world other than each other.
"Y/N I'm going to cum."
"Tzuyu hold it for me. I want us to cum together."
"Please hurry Y/N I can't hold it for much longer."
I thrusted as fast as I could to help myself cum faster as I knew it was only a matter of moments before Tzuyu came.
"Y/N I'M CUMMING!"
We both came at the exact same time. Tzuyu's pussy was leaking a mix of both of our cum.
I pulled out and laid on top of Tzuyu and we started to kiss each other again. Our hands were on each others bodies again. Feeling Tzuyu's perfect body was something I could never get enough of.
Eventually we fell asleep on each other, exhausted.
The next morning came and we were both woken up by our manager yelling.
"Y/N AND TZUYU WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!"
"Mrs. Minatozaki we have a good excuse!"
"REALLY Y/N? THEN EXPLAIN WHY YOU GUYS ARE NAKED AND WHY THE WHOLE ROOM SMELLS LIKE SEX! TELL MY WHY I SHOULDN'T FIRE BOTH OF YOU RIGHT NOW!"
Mrs. Minatozaki was right we didn't have a good excuse.
"Mrs. Minatozaki we'll clean this whole place up and leave." I said and looked at Tzuyu who nodded.
"Wait you guys don't have to leave I'm not firing you guys over this."
"Thank you Mrs. Minatozaki you have no idea how much-"
"Under one condition."
Mrs. Minatozaki walked closer to us looking at our naked bodies on top of each other.
"Let me join you guys next time."
Before I could even process what Mrs. Minatozaki said Tzuyu went ahead and agreed to her terms "You can join us next time."
"Great, oh and call me Sana from now on. Now get yourselves cleaned up and get dressed. Your both working extra hours today."
We both groaned knowing it was going to be a long day.
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I've been busy recently so expect the next week or so to be slow. But I'll still try to write stuff.
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taiyaakii · 1 month ago
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⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Forbidden ! . . . ( 西村力 )
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01. Style 운명 . Drabble 02. CONTAINS: Fighting, reader comes from a kinda bad home but it's not specified how, Riki's parents (his mom mainly) don't like reader euhhhh ! 03. wc ! 612
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"It's not her fault! How often do I have to say that, you're blaming her for something that's not even her fault!" Riki shouted back at his mom
It was unusual for everyone in the house, Riki was close to his mom, so the constant fighting was a change "Riki I'm not going to tell you again... I don't like her. Okay? I do not like her."
Riki rebutted quickly "Why? What did SHE do to make you hate her so much? Not what her parents did, what did SHE do."
"Maybe SHE didn't do anything directly but Riki you need to understand when someone is raised like that, in a bad home, they carry those habits, they repeat them, and she is going to turn out no better than her mother." The room was silent, Riki was stunned, to say the least
He had never heard his mom talk that way, about anybody
As tension filled the air, Riki's expression became blank.
He turned around and started heading for the door, shoes already on as he barely got to his room after school before his mom started questioning him
"Riki get back here! We aren't don-" Her voice mumbled by the now shut front door
Riki knew he was fucking up his relationship, but he couldn't just stand by while his mom talked shit about you, that's not fair and it's not how he was raised
The walk to your house was quiet, spent in solitude as he thought of the excuse he would use this time
"Bad grades"
"Forgot to clean up after myself, again"
"Got into a fight with my sister"
No, none of them would work. He used a multitude of excuses as to why he got kicked out every time he'd ask to stay at your house, while the truth was, he was walking out on his own
But he couldn't tell you that 'cause then he'd have to explain why, then he'd have to explain the fight, which would lead to you figuring out why he's refused to let you meet his mom, which in turn, would make you upset, and he refuses to make you upset
Plus if you did know, you'd probably break up with him in fear of getting between him and his mom's relationship.
It's a shame you're so sweet
-
Stepping onto your front porch, he knocked, and as you let him he questioned if anyone was home besides you, to which you replied "No" like always
Now on your bed playing with his hair as he lays on your chest, you question "What did you do this time? Hmm??"
He thought for a second "I uh, got an F on my math test" He had already used this one a few times but it always worked so another time wont hurt
"Again??..."
He sighed "yeah." Pushing his head further into your neck
You sighed and kissed his head, ending the conversation there as you cuddled him tight, slowly drifting off into sleep, "I love you kiki" you mumbled
"I love you too my baby" (ew cheesy)
As much as Riki loves his mom, he can't stand hearing her talk so badly about the one person who makes him feel so loved and happy.
Maybe one day he'll tell you truth as to why he get's "Kicked out" so often, maybe one day you and his mom will meet, and she'll realize just how lovely you are, maybe she'll realize that despite everything, you're the sweetest kindest person, and that you truly make him happy.
But until then, he'll just have to keep making excuses as to why he got kicked out.
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@taiyaakii
Im sorry this isnt very good, i wrote it quickly with no real story in mind >.<
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queers-gambit · 2 years ago
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Not So Heavenly Surprise
prompt: you share exciting news with your husband but don't receive the reaction you thought you'd get. and then, the Outbreak.
pairing: Joel Miller x female!wife!reader only height mentioned: you're shorter than Joel
fandom masterlist: HBO's The Last of Us
word count: 7.2k+
warnings: angst, angst, angst, slutty angst club, cursing, character death, major major major spoilers, death of a child, descriptive language - we talk about death and dead bodies!!! canon-level violence! NOT edited!!! (will get around to it) this work is super NOT FOR MINORS ❗️season one, episode one spoilers
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September 02nd, 2002 one year before Outbreak Day
"You're going to have to tell him," you sighed to your reflection, trying to amp up the bravery. "He's gonna notice, you don't want him questioning anything, now do you? No, nope, no way, you don't. Okay, so, that's it - you're gonna tell him when he gets home. No big deal."
There was a knock at the door, Sarah calling, "Are you okay in there?"
"Girl!" You laughed, reaching for the knob and opening it to see her. "Ever heard of this thing called 'privacy'?"
"Not in this house," She smirked. "Can I get in? Wash my face?"
"Oh, yeah, totally," you moved out of her way, continuing with your nightly routine.
"So, who were you talking to?"
"Myself," you mused. "It helps me work out big decisions."
"Oh, so, you're finally gonna tell Dad you're pregnant?"
"What!?" You yelped, dropping the jar of night cream and groaning when it dolloped out from the fall - landing on your foot. "What the hell, Sarah?"
"What? You're surprised I figured it out?" She teased. "I found the pregnancy test."
"What? You were digging in the trash?"
"Well, if you must know, I dropped the toothpaste in there and found it when I was fishing it out..."
"Sarah," you sighed.
"You know he's going to be really happy, right?" She smiled at you, massaging her cheeks to curate foam from her face wash.
"Maybe," you sighed, stooping to clean your mess. "But I've been trying to figure out what to say."
"What's to say? Just tell him," she giggled. "C'mon, you guys have been married 8 years now! Isn't this, like, what was supposed to happen?"
"Well, yeah, but - "
"But nothing," Sarah laughed. "You're getting all nervous for nothing. It's just Dad, he loves you. He's going to be happy, I promise."
You sighed, nodding slowly, "All right, well, I'll try to tell him tonight."
"There is no try, only do."
"You did not just quote Star Wars to me!"
"Well, is Yoda wrong?"
You whined a little, "No..."
"So, get it done," she smiled. "This is really exciting."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she smiled, "I've always wanted to be a big sister."
"You'd kick ass as one," you agreed.
"Think how upset and flustered Dad will be when I teach Baby to curse!"
"Sarah, you teach the kid any curse words and I'll wash your own mouth with soap," you teasingly warned with a pointed finger. "I'm a little nervous, I think," you admitted.
"Why? Daddy loves you, he'll be really happy," Sarah defended. "Maybe a little shocked, but he'll be over the moon with joy."
"You think?"
"I know," she nodded. "Tell him tonight!"
"Tell who, what?" Tommy asked, appearing in the doorway to make you both shriek.
"What happened!?" You heard Joel, but then, everything was drowned out as you and Sarah started yelling at Tommy for scaring the shit outta you both. Joel appeared in time to see his little brother throw his hands up in defense, laughing at the two of you.
"Not cool, man!" You barked, shaking your head. "Didn't hear y'all come in, the hell's wrong wit'chu?"
"Y'all didn't lock the front door, again," Tommy smirked. "I came up real quick and quiet."
"Jackass," you muttered, wiping your hands on a towel before exiting the room. "Hi, baby," you muttered to Joel, pausing to rock onto your toes and plant a kiss to your husband's lips.
"Hi, honey," he mused, arm anchoring your waist. "What's with the screamin'?"
"Your brother's an ass," you pouted, giving your best exaggerated bottom lip.
"You had it comin', darlin'," Tommy teased. "Told you to lock up, huh?"
"Why're you even here? Why are you always! Here!?" You whined lightly. "Go home!"
"I'm staying the night," he mocked gently.
"You better not clean my fridge out," you warned him with slitted eyes. "I just went to the shop."
"You get them cookies you like?" Tommy perked a brother, watching your eyes widen a small fraction. "YOU DID!" Tommy laughed, turning, and bolting down the stairs - making you yelp and start yelling after him, following closely.
Joel and Sarah could be heard laughing from upstairs.
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It was close to midnight by the time you and Joel finally settled for bed. Sarah's homework was done, whole family fed, Tommy was nursing a bonked head with a small ice pack, and you and Joel were turning your bed down.
"Hey, uh," you cleared your throat as you both got in the sheets, "so, I was wonderin' somethin'."
"What's that, sugar?"
"What do you think of when you consider the future?"
Joel paused, then shrugged, "We go to Nashville with Sarah this summer."
"No, baby, I mean the future - like, years from now."
Joel chuckled, "Uh, I don't know, baby, I just think of you and Sarah and Tommy... There's not many others left 'round."
"That's all?"
"I don't know, I think sometimes when Sarah goes off to college, that girl's goin' on a scholarship, you know? So, you and I could maybe take some time for a vacation. Finally take you on that honeymoon I promised."
You hummed, settling against his chest, "Where we goin'?"
"You know I'd take you wherever you wanted," he sighed, "but maybe we could afford... I don't know, trip to... Vegas?"
"So we can renew our vows with Elvis?"
"Why not?" He chuckled, squeezing your hip. "Might be fun, right?"
"You just wanna see the strippers."
"Can you blame me?"
You laughed and smacked his chest, "Easy, mister, you're on thin ice."
Joel laughed lightly, "You know I'm teasin', darlin'. C'mon, anywhere we could, where would you go?"
"Oh, the Maldives, without a doubt.," You smirked. "But how about we keep it simple? Go to, say, Paris?"
Joel snickered, "That's simple?"
"City of Love for our honeymoon? Baby, I'd say that's more cliché than anything. Besides, don't you wanna kiss me at the top of the Eiffel Tower?"
"'Course, sugar, but the food there?"
"Oh, like you've ever been!" You laughed, looking up at him. "Don't talk shit when you don't know."
"Hmm," he considered, "solid advice, sweetheart."
He reached out to caress the side of your cheek, making you sigh, "One thing's missin' though..."
"What's that?" Joel smirked.
"We'd have to find a babysitter."
"Sarah will be older than - "
"No, no, baby, not talkin' 'bout Sarah."
"Who, then?" He chuckled. "Tommy? Though he likes proving us wrong, he can take care of himself."
"No, I'm talking about a babysitter for us."
"Lost me again, sweetheart."
You stared at him for a moment, then admitted, "I'm pregnant. So, we'd need to find a sitter 'cause we'd have a little one by then." However, Joel just stared down at you, brows slowly furrowing as he processed your words. "Joel?" You wondered when he didn't answer, but instead, looked off past you. "Honey, you still with me?"
"I heard you," he grit, making you instantly sit up and off of him.
"Joel?"
He sighed deeply, "Why'd you have to do that?"
"I'm sorry?"
Joel sat up and swung his legs from bed, making you feel instantly smaller than you actually were. "Why'd you have to go and do that? Huh? Get pregnant?"
"Joel - "
"No, what the hell's this!?" He demanded, looking far too upset than you ever considered. "You're pregnant? You're really pregnant?"
"Yes - "
"God fuckin' damn it!" Joel swatted at a lamp, knocking it over, and waking the entire house - not that either Tommy or Sarah were asleep yet. "You can't seriously be pregnant!" Joel barked at you, and if he could, you knew he'd be gnashing his teeth.
"Why is this such a shock?" You asked. "This is what happens when you're married - "
"You were supposed to be on birth control!"
"It's only so much effective when you're cumming in me like some sex doll!" You snapped back, aware of your loudness.
"Don't turn this on me!"
"I'm not! Fuck's sake, I'm happy about this!" You stood from the bed, too. "I'm happy we're havin' a baby! Why're you reacting this way?"
"We can't afford a baby right now!" Joel looked enraged now. "We don't got the space - fuckin' Tommy crashes the couch! Where we puttin' a whole baby, huh? Where we puttin' a kid? How're we gonna afford more groceries? More schoolin'? You didn't think this through, now, did you!?"
"Fuck's sake, Joel, do I need to give you a sex-ed course? Explain how you're just as much in this as I am? I didn't do this to myself, we both took risks - but I didn't think this was gonna be an issue! I thought you'd want this!"
"When have I ever said I wanted another kid? Huh? Don't put words in my mouth, woman! I got Sarah, ain't no kid better than that! Why would I even want to bother? Knowing our situation!? You think you're ready to be a mom? All you do is work, and it makes you a pretty shaky stepmother! Neither of us are in a place to just stop and take care of a kid, we're in too deep with our current bills!"
You felt too stunned to speak, every defense you had lowering in pure sadness as tears collected in your eyes. "You serious, right now?"
"Completely," he sighed, hands to his hips.
"So, you... You don't want this baby?"
Joel's jaw flexed. "Not right now, no."
"Okay," you sighed.
"I can't take care of another kid," he shook his head. "Look, why can't Sarah be enough? You've known her her whole life."
"Why is it so wrong to wonder what it's like to be pregnant? To have my own child? Since you have Sarah."
"We have Sarah," he snapped.
"No... We don't, since I'm only a shaky stepmother."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"No? How'd you mean it?" You wondered sarcastically. "Maybe that I won't be a good mother? That you don't want a kid with me, is it? Whatever, Joel, look, there's no compromise here. You don't want this baby, but I do... So, this it is."
"What is? To what?"
"Us," you sighed, gesturing between you. "If you really don't want this baby, then I don't see how we can still participate in a marriage."
"The fuck - "
"I won't stay where I'm not wanted."
"I want you, just not the baby!"
"So, understand this. Because I'm growing that baby currently, you simply don't want me. So, it's all right, now. I'll get my shit and get out, figure out what to do movin' forward, and I'll have the divorce papers sent - "
"Like hell, you are!" Joel raged.
"How're we gonna fix this then!?"
"Fuckin' Christ, woman, you really know how to piss me off! This ain't my issue - this is your problem. But we ain't gettin' a divorce, so, you better figure it out."
You scoffed, "Who the hell even are you?"
"Come again?"
You gestured at him, "This is not who I married."
"Neither are you. When we got married, you said Sarah was more than enough - "
"You know what? Feelin's change!"
Joel scoffed, "Yeah, fuckin' tell me 'bout it."
"Wow," you sighed, turning for the closet, muttering, "wow, wow, wow, wow, WOW!"
"Fuck!" Joel snapped. "C'mon, doll, don't do this."
He watched you pack a suitcase frantically, the fight continuing to wage farther into the night. Back and forth, you two went round after round after round, trying to make the other understand and see reason. To Joel, it was a matter of financials and space. To you? It was everything else.
By 3 am, you had finally packed your necessary belongings into two bags - a suitcase and purse - before you were charging down the stairs with Joel still hollering after you. Tommy was in the living room, pacing, and Sarah was laid on the couch, eyes red and swollen as she clutched a pillow to her chest. You came to a halt when you saw them both, Joel still sneering but silencing himself when he saw what you stared at.
Just like that, he understood his brother and daughter had heard every word he shouted at you, and never had he felt such shame. You swallowed harshly, nodding at Tommy before looking to Sarah. With a wobbling smile, you managed to garble, "I'm sorry."
"Mama, wait!" Sarah gasped, shooting off the couch as you fled for the front door; Tommy catching her around her waist. "No! No! Daddy, go get her! Don't go! Mama! Please! What's happening? Why won't you go after her!?"
But to Tommy's shock and horror, Joel silently descended the stairs to push the front door closed and locked it - bolting them inside and his wife outside. "Joel," Tommy shook his head, confusing marring his features. "The hell happened?"
But Joel only sighed, turned, and headed up the stairs again. Not a moment later, his bedroom door closed - making Tommy release Sarah. She rushed to the door but stopped, only staring out, and Tommy understood she could no longer see your car.
"Hey, Sarah?" Tommy called softly. "You can stay home from school tomorrow. All right?"
She only nodded silently, taking a seat at the front door and just watching. He frowned, wanting to shoo her off to bed, but understood that her child-like mind could only understand so much. She wanted to wait for you to come home, she wanted to see you coming... However, the following morning, Joel found his daughter slumped against the front door and his brother on the stairs from watching her.
His heart had plummeted to his feet when he saw them, more so when he understood you weren't home. The house already felt colder.
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September 26th, 2003 Outbreak Day
Your daughter was barely a few months old by the time "it" happened. After leaving Joel, you went home to your parents and they were gracious enough to welcome you and the babe growing in your womb.
They made up your childhood bedroom into a nursery and let you transform their home office into a spare bedroom as your little brother was living in the guest room and older sister in the basement. It was an incredibly tiny room, but it worked for now; and your little girl was a ray of sunshine that you barely noticed how miserable you truly felt.
You hadn't seen Joel since the birth... And before that? Not since your fight. He really didn't want shit to do with your daughter, and while you always told him when your appointments were, he never showed. When you went into labor, your father was the one who called him because you only sobbed through the pain that you wanted your husband. So, Joel showed that day, but didn't go into the delivery room. He just waited outside it, listening, feeling his heart shatter again and again as you begged someone to find your husband, but no matter how your mother and father begged him to go in, he wouldn't. He couldn't.
It was only after the baby was born did he venture in.
You looked beat to hell and the sheets seemed bloodier than usual, but he didn't want to linger. He only nodded at you, hands in his pockets, "Good job... She's real beautiful."
You blinked, glancing over to where a nurse was swaddling the just-cleaned baby. "Thank you," you whispered. Then, he turned to leave, "W-Wait!" You begged, making him pause. "Don't you... I-I don't know, want to help name her?"
Joel sighed, glancing at you over his shoulder, "No, 's all right. Whatever you want, she's your daughter."
Your heart broke all over again, watching him leave. So much so, when the nurse brought your daughter over for you to hold, you broke down in horrendous sobs that the nurse actually shied away. You couldn't breathe from the pain, and it actually set off a few alarms on your hospital monitors.
Your mother watched in despair as a team of professionals had to sedate you in order to calm you down enough; holding her grandbaby and rocking her arms. She waited for days, hoping you'd ask to hold your daughter, but never did. Only when the lactation expert came in to help you nurse your daughter did you actually "willingly" hold her.
It just broke your heart to even look at her because she looked so much like Joel that it should've been illegal. Eventually, you came around and felt as if you couldn't set the baby down, but for the first few days were exhaustingly tough. Your parents were a huge help, but that didn't make it easier on you to try and process life without Joel. You loved your husband, wanted him back, but after his behavior, you couldn't fathom being within 6 feet of him again.
However, life had much different plans.
You didn't feed your baby formula, opting for breast feeding. Ironically, during your pregnancy, you had developed an intolerance to gluten and never wanted flour-products even after giving brith to your daughter. However, your father loved your mother's cookies...
It was nearly 2 am when it happened.
Your father had been the first "Infected" of the family, and only your mother was in their room with him. You heard the thumping and screams, peering out of your room only to see blood pooling from under your parent's closed bedroom door. "Get back," you hissed at your little brother, darting down the hall to your daughter's nursery.
"DADDY! NO!" You heard your brother scream a minute later, panic enveloping you as your daughter started to cry.
"No, no, no, it's okay, hey, hey, it's okay, sweetheart," you whispered, trying to shush her. There wasn't time to spare, and just as you secured your daughter to your chest with tight arms and made it from her room, your father came barreling out of your little brother's room - scaring the shit outta you. "D-Daddy?"
He snarled, neck snapping when he looked at you - but that wasn't your father. No, this creature was something else and while it was in your father's body, it wasn't your Daddy, and you weren't safe here.
"Down here! NOW!" Katie, your older sister called, making you shoot off down the stairs in a blind panic. Your father came crashing down behind you, knocking into your legs as you reached the bottom - forcing you to turn over and land on your back to protect your kid.
"OH MY GOD!" You screamed when your father bolted upright.
"STAY DOWN!"
Your sister swung her softball bat, knocking your father's head back with a sickly snap. He went down, and for a moment, it was all quiet. "What the fuck?" You panted, baby still crying.
"I don't know," Katie panted, reaching for your arms and helping you up. "I-I didn't - I didn't think," she stuttered, looking at your father, who's head was split open and spewing blood. "I-I killed him."
"Between us?" You nodded, "Think he was already dead."
"Where's Mommy? And Billy!?"
"Upstairs..."
"You don't think...?"
"Should we check?"
"What if they're alive and we just left them?" She worried, blinking back tears. "I-I don't know what to do."
"I think we need to get the fuck outta here," you admitted, looking around you two. "We aren't safe here, Katie, we should move."
Just then, there was a thud from upstairs. Your sister uttered your name in fear, and you had to steel yourself. "What do we do?" She whispered.
"Kitchen, there's only one door and the basement," you nodded, the two of you turning and hustling into the room. You looked around and found a long cerated knife, standing at the ready with one arm around your baby.
"What's gonna come for us?"
"Whatever the hell happened to Daddy," you gulped. "I still think we should run for it."
"But Mama - "
"She's probably dead!" You snapped. "But we aren't. We don't have to die if we play smart. I say, we get what we need and get the fuck out of here."
However, before she could answer, there was a snarling from outside the door. Your baby still cried, and soon, the door was bursting open with your mother's Infected body being hurled through the door. Your sister begged your name in a yell and you repeated at her that it's not really your mother - keeping the kitchen island between you three - and that she needed to swing the bat.
However, your little brother came barreling inside right after and knocked into you. It was a struggle as you had to let go of your baby to keep the 10-year-old demon off your body; hip teeth gnashing as pale tendrils came curling out of his mouth.
"NO!"
You couldn't look back at your sister, struggling to keep the suspiciously-strong boy at bay. You used your feet to kick him off you, snatch up the knife, and as he came back - snarling and screaming - you only stabbed the knife up into the underside of his jaw. Yanking free, blood and more came gushing out, and your brother when down.
When you turned, your sister was panting and leaning against a counter. Mother laid dead at her feet. "You good?" You asked.
"Yeah... You?"
"Yeah," you sniffled, moving to collect your baby from the bloody linoleum floor. "Can we get the fuck outta here now?"
"There's no more threat."
"Seriously?" You snapped. "Honey, if it happened here, it's happenin' elsewhere and we need to fucking move before we get left behind. Understand me?"
But then... There was a sickening sound from the only other door in the kitchen... The one leading to the basement...
"Katie?" You called your sister's name, "it's time to run."
"GO!" She screamed when a new body, that of your next door neighbor, came bursting through the door. You both ran, your daughter tight to your chest, and just made it outside your family home when a truck was screeching to a halt.
Joel leapt from the passenger seat, hollering your name in panic, and making you shoot off like a Roman Candle towards him. He caught you easily, holding you and your infant close to his chest as Katie came sprinting from behind you - taking cover behind Joel.
"What - "
"JOEL!" Katie screamed, pointing towards the body rushing from your home.
"Tommy!"
There came a gunshot, making you flinch into his chest as he turned you from the sight. "Get in the truck," Tommy called, Sarah opening the door from the inside to invite Katie in.
"We gotta go, darlin', it's time to go, let's go," Joel muttered to you.
"What the fuck is happenin'?"
"We don't know, but it's bad," he nodded, looking around frantically. "We need off the streets, baby, please, get in the truck."
But you paused, asking him, "You came back for me?"
"For the both of you," he sighed, caressing the top of your daughter's head - who still wailed in fear. "Please, baby, it's time to go - get in the truck." When you did, he rambled, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, all right, Tommy! Let's go!"
When everyone was in and doors shut, a new game began: Get the Hell Outta Dodge.
During the ride, Tommy and Joel filled you and Katie in with what they knew from the broadcasters that were once on the airwaves. Sarah held onto you tightly, infant child still wriggling in your lap and arms. You were trying to flee the suburbs, making for the highway, but it seemed, everyone else who hadn't been killed off had the same idea and created intense traffic.
"We're okay," you whispered to Sarah on repeat, almost in a chant. Katie frowned and slowly reached over Sarah's lap, taking hold of your daughter. You slowly let go only to latch full onto Sarah and try to comfort her with slow rocking and cooed words of encouragement. Joel knew that in your time apart, you and Sarah saw each other often - nearly on a daily basis - and could understand that you were her mother, through-and-through.
You both needed the comfort right now.
Someone to lean on.
Someone to be scared with you instead of saying "buck up."
"Take the field, Tommy!" Katie barked from the back, holding your screaming baby to her shoulder and trying to offer her warmth and comfort. However, it was impossible with the tangible panic and loud blaring of horns and cursing voices. "We can cut across and pick the road up on the west side."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. West, West, all right. All right, hang on," he turned the wheel, everyone bracing for the sharp movement before the bumping of the terrain became wildly uneven.
Around them, other cars followed suit, and the field was soon flooded with civilian cars trying to flee. "The fuck could be happening?" Katie asked you, gulping, "You're the doctor!"
"I-I don't fucking know, Katie, please," you whispered back, gulping in nerves as Tommy drove you all over the grass.
However, when they came over the hill to catch sight of their destination, there was a flooding of lights and choppers in the air. Tommy cursed, "Shit! Fuckin' Army!"
"Isn't that good?" Sarah asked from your embrace.
"It's good for them, but that's the highway we're tryna get to," Tommy explained, coming to a halt as cars flooded past them.
"All right, keep movin'. Head north," Joel advised quietly, his mind trying to settle.
"Could be a lotta people," Tommy argued lightly.
"Well, we can't go south, we can't go east, we can't go west," Joel pointed out. "Hell else we supposed to go?"
"Tommy, fuckin' drive!" You grit, Katie joining you in on the last word.
"Tommy, c'mon!" Joel followed right after. The tires squealed as Tommy pressed on the gas while turning his wheel, making the truck turn and speed off for a distant suburban town; lights in the distance guiding you. "Yeah," Joel muttered. "Yeah, I know that place. This can work."
"Yeah, all right, fine, cool, but then what?" Katie asked. "Where are we supposed to go then?"
"I don't know. Mexico. Just far, far as we can," Joel answered uneasily. "How much gas?"
"Three-quarter tank," Tommy answered.
"Go through town," Joel advised. "Golf course by the river, straight across, we pick up the highway on the other side of the blockade, then we're out."
"I'm gonna throw up," Katie whispered, head tilted back with her eyes closed.
"If you're feelin' sick, hand me my baby," you snapped, looking at her with fear.
"No, girl, it's anxiety," she snapped back. "I'm not sick."
"How can you be sure?" Sarah wondered.
"Cause it would've hit us the same as it did our family..."
"Who'd it hit?" Tommy wondered, looking back.
"We're all that's left," you sighed, saving your sister from answering. "Daddy turned first, then Mama... Billy after... We got out."
"They bite 'chall?" Tommy asked, glancing back.
"No," you answered, looking at Katie. "You bit?"
"Nope, I beat 'em to the punch," she sighed. "Ah, fuck, my stomach."
"Throw up in my truck, darlin'," Tommy muttered, sucking his teeth.
"Throw up on my baby, Kate, and I'll beat 'cho ass," you snipped, perking a warning brow at her.
"Girl," she sighed, glancing at Sarah - who had sat off you in contemplation. "Sarah?" She whispered in wondered.
"Maybe it's everywhere," she voiced, glancing at the two of you sat on either side of her. "Maybe there's nowhere to go..."
"Well, hey, we'll just have to find somewhere safe," you nodded back at her, but furrowed your brow. "Anyone hear that?"
"Oh, shit - "
"What the fuck!?" Tommy called over Katie, glancing up towards the roof as there came a deafening sound of a plane flying far too low to the ground.
"Cover her ears!" You begged Katie, reaching for Sarah to press your hands over her ears. Your sister held your daughter's ears closed - her still screaming bloody murder - as the plane flew over the truck.
"Fuckin' hell!" She looked back, noting the sky. Sarah whipped around, too, only to spy two more planes in the sky - all flying low and at odd angles.
However, ahead of them, cop cars were speeding around the streets and cutting off any route. "Son of a bitch," Tommy cursed. "Gotta go around. Grab somethin'!"
You held onto the designated 'oh shit!' bar over your head as Sarah leaned over to hold Katie and your baby. Tommy took a sharp right into an alley, between buildings. When you all rightened, it was only to see the people on the street running around, screaming, cars zooming past them all. Tommy took a left, then another right, and joined the bustle of the street.
"All right, keep goin', keep goin'," Joel pointed ahead, but tommy blew past a stop sign. "Shit - TOMMY!"
Another car came to a screeching halt, barely missing T-boning the Tommy's truck. They moved on, only to discover people mauling each other in the street - blocking most of their path. "Oh, my God," Sarah whispered, reaching for you as your arm came around her shoulders again as Tommy came to a stall.
"Tommy, you can't stop here," Joel reminded.
"I can't drive through 'em all!"
"Are you serious?" Joel barked. "Just keep goin'!"
However, ahead came the smashing of glass and a stampede of people - all running wildly and making you assume they were Infected, too. "Ohhhhhhh, shit," Katie whimpered.
"Go, go, go, go, back, back, back, back, back, back," Joel encouraged his brother, who hastily switched gears.
"I'm trying!"
However, when you and Sarah looked back to watch the crowd and stay out of Tommy's range of sight, you saw a distant threat and tuned everything else out. "Joel!" You begged, reaching for his arm as the sight of an airborne plane turning in the sky to head back your way was far too pressing right now.
"Dad!" Sarah echoed.
"Holy shit," Katie sobbed, cradling your baby tightly and without you even noticing, put her seatbelt on.
"Move. MOVE!" Joel told Tommy.
The plane took a nosedive into the ground, exploding, and send a flurry of parts around the surrounding area. One of those areas happened to the building you were driving past, and one of the steel parts ricocheted off it and into the truck.
Everything went black.
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"Baby? Baby, can you hear me? Hey, hey, hey, darlin', c'mon, open them pretty eyes for me, c'mon, baby, please."
"Fuck," you wheezed, eyes slowly opening.
"Hey, hey, hey, there you are, hey," Joel whispered, Tommy, Katie, and Sarah already out of the truck. "There you go, c'mon, you all right? You hurt?"
"No," you blinked a few times, wiggling your toes and fingers. "Fuck's sake, what happened?"
"Car accident," he nodded, "c'mon, sugar, gotta get up for me," he looked around. "We ain't safe here, c'mon, baby, that's it."
You nodded and let him pull you from the wreckage, grunting when shattered glass pressed into your skin to create long drips of blood that resembled a child's melted-crayon canvas from elementary art class. When out, Sarah kept weight off her ankle and wobbled in her stance, making you frowned, "All right?"
"Ankle," Sarah sniffled.
"We gotta get off the streets!" Tommy called from the other side of the car.
"KATIE!?"
"I got her!" She called back, and then, you could distinguish her shrill crying. You sighed with relief before Tommy was profanely screaming and Joel turned you and Sarah from the car just as an out-of-control police car came smashing into the truck.
"I got her," you told Joel, taking hold of Sarah in full as he nodded in thanks before turning for the wreckage they couldn't get around.
"Tommy!? Tommy!? Katie!? TOMMY!"
The brothers found a glimpse of each other through the flames, Tommy telling his brother, "Head to the river! We'll find a way! Get them outta here, Joel! Go!"
"Take care of my daughter," he nodded back.
"C'mon," Tommy told Katie, and the two were taking off with Tommy's gun slung over his shoulder.
Joel turned back for you and Sarah, gulping nervously at you, "Darlin', listen, I'm so sorry - "
"Joel, now's not the time," you panted. "We gotta go. Okay? We're good right now, but we gotta stay good. Let's get the fuck outta here, please. We can talk later!"
He nodded back, looking at Sarah, who refused, "We can't leave them! K-Katie has D - "
"They'll be fine," Joel insisted. "Tommy's with 'em, they'll look after each other. Can you run?"
"No," she shook her head, making Joel sigh.
"Can you?"
"I'm good," you nodded, worryingly looking at Sarah. "I can carry her - "
"'S all right, darlin'," he muttered, sweeping Sarah into his arms and making her arms latch around his neck. "You keep your eyes on me," he told his daughter. She nodded. "Okay?"
"Okay," Sarah breathed.
"Okay," Joel nodded. "And you don't look anywhere else." Sarah buried her head in her father's neck, his eyes meeting yours. "And you..." He panted, swallowing nervously. "You stay with me, you stay right with me, all right?"
"All right."
"All right," he agreed, hurrying off down the alley. You were true to your word, keeping up with him easily, but both slowing when the end of the alley only lead to a group of Infected motherfuckers feasting on the flesh of other humans.
You panicked for a moment, looking around you, and nearly missing the sound of the a distant explosion - sounding more like a crack from this distance. However, it was enough of a sound to draw the attention of at least one Infected Fucker - who looked up to stare at you, Joel, and Sarah.
Joel lead you to a building behind you - but the Fucker followed. "Joel, go, go, go," you hissed, easily taking the lead to use your body to burst through doors. Joel followed, understanding that because he was carrying Sarah, you had assumed the role of "guide" and wanted to clear his path - but it also cleared a path to be followed.
It made horrendous sounds as it chased you three, literally hauling it's body around as if it had no real control over it. The feeling inside your chest was chaotic, the tension tangible through the air as you lead Joel through the closed-diner.
The creature still followed.
Finally outside, you didn't have to restrict yourself but couldn't find it in you to leave Joel and Sarah behind. If this was the end, it was only right you fell as a family - and while deeply stupid of you, it was oddly poetic. However, as you heard the beast in pursuit just nipping at your heels, so sounded a reverberating gunshot.
It made you pause, looking back to see a headshot had taken the Infected Fucker out, and yet, no obvious sign of the shooter. Joel comforted Sarah, looking down at you - making you nod, telling him you were okay - before looking around again.
Then, a flashlight blinded you as a Humvee's lights flashed on, a voice demanding, "Don't move!"
"Joel..." You whispered, holding onto his elbow as he readjusted so he was slightly in front of you.
"My daughter's hurt!" Joel called to the military man. "Her ankle!"
"Stop right there!" He barked again.
"Okay," Joel muttered, nerves being shared as you had a bad feeling about this. "Easy now. We're not sick!"
But the solider, instead, radioed in, "I got three civilians by the river, one of 'em injured... Ankle..."
"What about Uncle Tommy and Aunt Katie?" Sarah asked her father.
"We're gonna get you somewhere safe first, with your Mama. Yeah? Then we'll come back for 'em, okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry, repeat?" The solider asked into his comms system - earning your attention again. Joel tried to step forward, but the flashlight was right back up into your face, the man snapping, "Hey! No one told you to move!"
"Joel," you worried. "They have shoot-to-kill orders."
"What?" He whispered.
"In the event of extreme violence, similar to this, they have orders to shoot-to-kill," you told him shakily, watching the man. "I know you wanna trust 'em, but they're not our friend right now. Get ready to run..."
"Darlin' - "
"Joel," you hushed, squeezing his elbow.
The solider answered his commanding officer with three, spaced out, "Yes, sir's," before he was slowly picking up his firearm and the light was again in their eyes.
Joel realized how right his estranged wife was in that moment. "We're not sick," he tried to remind. But the man approached, making Sarah's breathing pick up as she held on tighter to Joel's neck - blindly reaching out for you. "Sir," Joel begged, "we are not sick!"
But just like you had said, the orders were shoot-to-kill, and the rapid gunfire sounded in the knight - only barely masked by Sarah's high-pitched scream. You felt a searing burn in your thigh, all three of you toppling over down the short hill you were heading towards; all three rolling away from one another.
When you came to a halt, you seethed in pain, holding your thigh, but hearing a much worse sound. Sarah hyperventilating. You looked up as the solider leered over Joel, army-crawling towards her just as a gunshot sounded. However, when you weren't struck, you kept going, and reached your stepdaughter.
"Baby?" You whispered.
"Mama," she begged. "Mama, Mama," she repeated, barely able to swallow her saliva - much less her fear. "Hurts," she grunted, soon losing the ability to form words.
Tommy had seen the scene and rushed forward to shoot the solider, leaving Katie at his side with your infant daughter still in arm. "I got'cha, hey, hey, hey, I"m here," you whispered, literally whipping your shirt off to press into her stomach. "JOEL!" You cried, looking over your shoulder to spy him on the ground.
He quickly scrambled to Sarah's other side, taking in the situation, and looking at you with absolute devastation. You cried as you held pressure, but you knew, from the entry wounds, Sarah didn't stand a chance. Her aorta artery had been hit and shredded by a bullet, only giving her moments left in this life.
Watching Joel was possibly harder than watching him walk away from you in the birthing room. He was desperate, trying to save his daughter but only being able to hold her as she grunted and sobbed in pain; bleeding out in her father's arms. Joel begged you to help but you couldn't, unable to form words, so, he turned to his brother and screamed at him - and your sister - to help him.
But in that moment he had looked away, Sarah's life had left them. "Joel," you whimpered, making him look down and realize what happened. He sobbed, drawing her in tightly; rocking helplessly on the ground as he couldn't fathom what had just happened.
However, amongst his mourning, there came a sound you never wanted to hear again. Whipping around, you caught sight of your sister starting to twitch and leapt to your feet; limping in hurried motions to snatch your screaming baby from her tightening grip.
"Katie," you begged in a sob, backing up towards Tommy, "oh, God, no... No, please."
But the bite on her forearm had turned a sickly black-and-blue, alerting she had been bit at some point and never voiced it. Before your very eyes, she turned from your dear, sweet older sister into a blood-thirsty monster. Yellowed and dead eyes, snarling and uncontrollable twitching, limbs that turned up in odd angles as the infection took over completely.
When done, you sister gave a shriek before you pleaded, "Tommy!"
He took aim and fired once, putting Katie out of her misery; sending her corpse crumbling to the ground. You panted, tears in your eyes as you couldn't process this night, but then... The unexpected.
"Oh, God, no," you gasped, wrenching your daughter from your chest as she started wriggling uncontrollably. "No, no, no, no, no, no," you sobbed, dropping to your knees and laying her down. Quickly opening her baby blanket, you noted the adult-sized bite on her whole shin, sobbing harshly. "Delilah! No, not my baby, no, no, oh, fuck, no, c'mon, not you, too. Not you, too, Delilah, please, my angel, oh, fuck, no, God damn it!"
"Darlin'," Tommy stuttered from behind you. He looked up in fear, finding his brother's confused gaze and calling, "J-Joel!"
"Delilah, please, fuck, h-how do I fix this!?" You begged. "No, fuck, God damn it! Why can't I help my daughters!?" You snarled at Tommy, sobbing until your chest hurt. "Why!? Why can't I save them!?"
"Doll," he whispered, his older brother slowly letting go of Sarah to lay her down, shut her eyes, and rest her arms over her stomach before turning for you.
"Not her, too, please," you begged. "That's everyone, please, no, please, th-this can't - please, this can't be happening! How do I help, Delilah, baby, please?" You still begged, looking at her bite. "I-I can - I don't know what to do! Wo-Would amputation work? Oh, fuck, no, no, it's - no, please!"
Joel stumbled to his feet, nearing you, but pausing as he could only stare as his infant daughter, whom he had only just seen, twitched and convulsed as the infection proved too great for her little body. It also wasn't lost to his that you had name her after his own mother, long since departed from this world and who would never meet her granddaughter.
"Oh, my God," Joel whispered, slowly nearing you as you sobbed over your daughter; hands hovering all over as you weren't sure where to touch her.
"Please!" You begged nobody, sobbing uselessly as Delilah came to a slow but jarring halt. "Oh, my God," you squeaked, leaning back in shock. "Oh... Oh, my fuckin' God, no... Not our kids, c'mon, no, God, please, fuck - this has to be some fucked-up nightmare. Right?" You looked desperately at Joel. "This... This isn't real, right? This isn't really happening? Please, Joel, you have to fucking tell me this isn't real - this can't be real."
"I'm sorry," Joel wheezed, slowly reaching for you.
"This didn't happen," you shook your head. "O-Our daughters - what the fuck just happened?"
Tommy slowly took the seat on your other side, Joel easily tugging you into his embrace as your sobs wracked your whole being. There were no words to be shared, only the grief of two parents who had just lost everything. Sarah's blood stained both your skin, Delilah laid perfectly still in her baby blanket right in front of you, and Tommy, who felt his gun weighed more than himself after failing to protect those he loved most in this world.
Joel, who lost his daughters but kept his brother.
And you... Who lost your husband a year ago and both your daughters, your mother, father, little brother, and older sister all in a single night. You, who would carry this night of great loss with you, for life. You, who felt confused on how "moving forward" was ever possible. You, who would eventually lose feeling in your head and heart that would result in years of violent turmoil.
You, who would eventually find a path to redemption, but for tonight, you, who grieved loudly and openly in the bloody arms of your estranged husband.
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requesting rules and masterlist
TLOU masterlist
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cherriesformatt · 9 months ago
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sharing the news || matt sturniolo part 2
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matt x fem!reader
summary: after a while you decided its time to share the news of your new chapter in life with Chris and Nick
warnings: pregnancy
word count: 1,5k
a/n: thank you for over 100 notes under part 1! I decided to continued the story. I hope you will like it!
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It's been a month since me and Matt found out that I'm pregnant. It’s been hell of a ride so far. We somehow managed to talked Chris and Nick out of my little episode and told them I just got my period and was really upset, tired and need Matt to go to the store for me. I spent entire next two days in Matt’s room trying to figure out our situation. I was also constantly sick and anxious. After than I just tried to be as normal as I could so no one would be suspicious.
At first it was like I didn’t know what I should do. But then I found myself thinking about the baby with my hand on my stomach and I knew I wanted to keep it. I also did hear Matt talking to my belly in the middle of night which made me cry so hard in the bathroom because of how cute that was.
Today was my first ultrasound appointment to confirm the situation and check if everything is alright.
“You know… I was thinking that if everything is good I would like to tell Chris and Nick and then we can decide how and when we want to tell the rest of the family” Matt looked at me when we stopped on the red light.
Keeping this a secret form his brothers was really hard for him because they always talked about everything with each other. Which was scary for me at first. Their whole relationship and building my own with Matt but also becoming part of theirs. Now I just admire the bond between them.
“Yes I was thinking the same” I smiled at him and put my hand on his thigh. I was nervous about only one thing.
“What I was thinking… Is that I will literally jump if your fucking triplets genes worked too hard and there is more than one of those” I said what was on my mind recently.
“Oh my goodness… I didn’t think about this” He put his hand over his mouth.
He was clearly scared now.
“We giving one to Chris in that case” I said seriously.
“Please , we are never leaving our kids with Chris, ever” he said.
I only laughed at that and patted his leg.
“It’s gonna be all good Matt, let’s manifest it’s only one for now” I said.
“Baby… I know this month wasn’t ideal for you and we both tried to cope with the fact that we’re going to have a baby but also only us knowing for now is really special” He looked at me for a second and his eyes went back to the road.
That was also exactly how I felt and I leaned forward to him and kissed his cheek.
“I love you Matty… I know this is all hard but you’re right” I said.
“I love you too sweet girl… okay we’re here, let’s do this” He parked the car and took a deep breath.
Our appointment went smoothly. They did my blood test which confirmed that I’m pregnant. They also did bunch of other tests to see if I’m all good and healthy. Thankfully I was. The last step was the ultrasound.
“Alright parents…” The doctor said and I gasped at the cold of the liquid that she put all over my lower belly.
She called us “parents”, that took me by surprise and I felt so weird.
“Ready?” She looked at me and smiled and I only nodded and closed my hand on one of Matt’s hands.
She started the thing and looked at the monitor. We couldn’t see it just yet.
“Okay… I found it… everything looks great. The baby is healthy. Looks like you’re about 6/7 weeks pregnant” She said.
“Only one?” Matt asked and wiggled on the chair.
“Oh my Lord, Matt… He is a triplet and we were kind of scared that you know… there’s gonna be more than one” I laughed and looked back at the doctor.
“Yes there’s only one” She laughed as well and turned the screen so we could see it too.
I felt like my heart skipped a beat when I saw a little thing moving on the screen. Like a dot. But I knew it’s our baby.
“Oh my…” I said and she pushed some kid of button and sound of a really fast heartbeat started to play from the machine.
“Is that?..” Matt gasped as well.
“That’s your baby’s heart beating… it’s really fast that’s normal and that’s actually really good. The baby is really healthy, you guys… congratulations” She said with a big smile.
But both of us were speech less. I caught Matt swiping tears from his cheek with a corner of my eye. That moment was something you can’t explain. You need to experience that yourself to know how much love I felt in this moment.
When we were back in the car I put all of my stuff in the back seat, closed the doors and turned around to go to my doors but I was met by arms of my boyfriend.
“Oh Matt…” I said hugging him back.
He hid his head in the crock of my neck and I run my fingers through his hair. I felt tears on my skin and I couldn’t help as my eyes started to water as well.
“We’re going to be okay. We can do this Matt. Together” I said but my voice broke I couldn’t exactly feel what’s happening.
“I know… y/n I’m just so happy that’s it’s overwhelming” He said pulling back to rest his temple against mine.
“I feel exactly the same way” I whispered looking him in the eyes.
He kissed me and pulled me even closer to his body. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else.
On our way back we stopped by target and some other places to get Nick’s and Chris’s favorite snacks, drinks and some funny, cheesy stuff that had “cool uncle” on it.
At home I put all of it in two boxes and also added a picture from the ultrasound to each.
This situation was so unreal for me and Matt. They were actually filming in the kitchen now. I really wanted to have their reaction on camera, so we told them that Matt wanted to do some kind of unboxing with their eyes blindfolded and they would have to guess what’s in the boxes.
When he texted me they are ready I took the boxes and come to the kitchen and put them in front of them and stood behind the camera.
“Okay you may open them” Matt said.
They started to pull stuff out.
“That’s bullshit it’s clearly Pepsi and popcorn” Chris said.
“Yes and that’s my own lip balm” Nick said annoyed.
“Okay how about this?” Matt took an ultrasound pictures and put into their hands.
“Piece of paper?” Chris said.
“No” Matt said and looked at me.
“Picture?” Nick said and showed it to the camera.
“Yes, it’s a picture” He nodded and smiled to the camera.
“Picture of us?” Chris asked and opened his can of Pepsi.
“No… but picture of someone that is in a room with us” Matt said.
“Oh my gosh you fucking freaking me out right now, what the fuck, are you a medium or what” Nick said an put the picture on the table.
“Okay… maybe just take your blindfolds off and Chris… you might want to wait with that fist sip” I said looking at them.
“I didn’t know you were here…” Nick said and started to undo the bandanna on his head.
I bit on my nails as I watched them taking those off. Then they looked at the boxes and I felt like I stopped breathing for a second.
“What the actual fuck? Is this some kind of prank?” Chris asked as his eyes widened.
“Oh my gosh are you kidding me?” Nick looked at me and stood up.
“Chris you owe me 1000 dollars… I knew it!” He hugged me tightly and I put my arms around him.
“Did you two bet on me being pregnant? What the hell?” I laughed.
My stress went away because how could I be stressed around them.
“I actually forgot that we did” Chris said and gave Matt a big hug.
“You guys… I don’t know what to say” Nick said pulling away from me.
“Well…. To be honest we don’t know either” I said and Matt only laughed.
“Yes… this feels really like a dream more than real life” Matt said looking at his brothers.
“Wait… are we first to know?” Chris asked.
“Of course you are… who else?” Matt looked at him and Nick went closer to them and they three shared a hug and than looked at me.
“Come here mama” Chris wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“Never, ever call me that again” I said seriously while coming into the hug.
They laugh and we stand like that for a minute or two.
“Okay I love you all but all three of you smell like three different colognes and I might throw up” I said stepping back.
This baby will be the luckiest baby in the whole world having them as a family.
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c-m-stuff · 1 year ago
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Wedding Ring
Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
-Description: You and Spencer are married. When you forgot to put your wedding ring back on, Spencer panicked.
-Warnings: Fluffiness, angst
-Word count: 656
-Note: It's finally summer vacation! I hope you are all enjoying the sun and this little story. Have fun! You deserve it! Also, thank you so much for 100 followers! It means a lot to me and to celebrate it, I made a summer party! Join here. :)
-Credits: @radiant-reid
-Tag list: @reid-ingandweeping
Masterlist
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Spencer's POV:
Fear was the first thing I felt when I came home to my wife, noticing she wasn't wearing our wedding ring. She always wears it, so why not now? Immediately my head was spinning with thousands of thoughts. Why isn't she wearing our wedding ring? Does she want to divorce? Did I do something wrong? Fell she out of love? How long is she feeling this way? Is there-
'Spence? Are you alright?' she pulled me out of my thoughts, or rather the chaos in my head, as I looked dumbfounded at her.
'Y-yeah.' I was quick in discarding my coat and satchel, walking towards the love of my life and giving her a quick pack on the lips, before disappearing into our shared bedroom.
I wasn't ready yet to confront her, wanting to clear everything out by myself first. Maybe I did do something that upset her? Or maybe she really fell out of love? This thought made me start to panic. I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her. A single tear, escaping my eye, as I heard a soft knock on the door.
'Spence? Can I come in?' It didn't take a profiler to hear the worry in her voice.
But yet, I couldn't answer. I was too busy keeping up with my own thoughts, it was like I couldn't do something else.
'I'm coming in.' and just like she said, she opened the door.
In the meanwhile, the panic and fear had set in so fiercely, that tears were now fully streaming down my cheeks. The moment (Y/N) saw me, she ran into my arms, hugging me tightly, while drawing circles on my back, in attempt to comfort me.
'Shhh, it's okay. Everything is okay now. You're safe, I'm here.'
I kept her in my arms for a few more minutes, before my tears finally lessened. I slowly pulled away, facing her worried figure. She took my hands in hers, rubbing them softly.
'What's wrong, love?'
I no longer was able to hold myself in. I needed to know. Knowing deeply that her answer could break down my whole world.
'Do you- do you want to divorce?' she looked at me with widen eyes, filled with disbelief and shock.
'Wh-what? No, no of course not! Why in the world would you think that?' relief flooded over my body, while releasing a sigh I didn't know I was holding.
'You're not wearing your wedding ring. You always wear your wedding ring.'
'No, no, honey. You completely misunderstood. When you went to see Ethan, I decided to do something I hadn't done in a while. Painting. I took the ring off because, knowing me, I can't paint without having my hands full of it. I just didn't want it to get dirty, and forgot putting it back on.' I began to relax more, hearing now the logical explanation, while feeling a little shame for getting to such a conclusion.
'It's right-' she disappeared out of the room for a moment, returning quickly back.
'here.' she continued, holding the ring and putting it back on.
'I'm sorry, I thought that. I just panicked because you never not wear it. I'm sorry.'
'It's alright, love. Don't worry about it. You just need to remember that I love you very much and that I am still happily married.' I felt her soft lips on mine, kissing me passionately. I kissed her back, both chuckling in the process.
'I love you. You are my whole world, you know that?'
'I do.' she smiled.
'As long as you know that you are my whole universe.'
_________________________
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rottenherbs · 10 days ago
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Hi there!
I think Draco would be slightly changed being in love, but I really believe he would still be at least a little toxic and even territorial in a relationship because he was never shown healthy love.
So will you write about a toxic!Draco getting jealous over his Ravenclaw!reader girlfriend.
Thank you if you do, and if you don’t thank you for reading this!
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Word count: 595
Tags: slight possessiveness / public altercation
Summary: REQUEST ABOVE
Authors note: short simple one. thank you anon for requesting! I’d love to do a more dramatic one perhaps! It felt like a good quick read with a happy ending ~~
Much love, Saige
// Requests Open //
[masterlist]
It took Draco ages to let you go anywhere by yourself. At first you accredited it to young love, but after a while he would persistently walk with you wherever he could. He’d even make the truck up the castle to the Ravenclaw common room every morning to greet you or wait for you outside of the witches restroom. You found it sweet and attractive that he cared so much for you, but deep down you missed the privacy and freedom that came with being alone. Sometimes it felt like he was more your bodyguard than your boyfriend.
One day it all just boiled over. Absolutely frustrated with transfiguration class, you rushed out of the classroom unknowingly passing draco in the busy halls waiting for you. His hand reached out and grabbed your forearm as you passed, his grip tight stopping you abruptly. It hurled you around in a frenzy only making you more upset.
“Darling you-“ Draco started
“Draco please!” you ushered at him. His eyes widened in surprise - you were not one to have a verbal altercation in public or honestly at all.
“You have to let me have time alone. Trust me to get places on my own.” frustration spilling with every word. You watch as his grip lessens around your arm, your words landing heavily on his subconscious.
“It feels like you can’t trust me.” you whispered. The hallway rushed with students as you and Draco stood almost stuck in time. His eyes iced over and visibly glossy.
“I do trust you it’s just-“ Draco sighs. He couldn’t find the words to explain his feelings. It took him a minute trying to get you to see this in his point of view, but he realized that he truly hadn’t left you alone since the moment he asked you out. He took a step back and looked at you.
“I'm afraid I don't trust myself.” He finished; his hand releasing your forearm all together, his fingers holding your palm in place.
“I have a hard time being alone. I worry all the time about everything. About you. About this school. About outside this school.” His hand becomes warm and clammy in yours. Your eyebrows were still furrowed in frustration but you listened intently to him.
“I have no control over so much of my life I've tried to control us.” He whispered disappointed in himself. It felt like a light turned on in his brain soon overcome with his actions.
“i’m so sorry, y/n. I am so sorry.” He leans and brings you into his arms, his chin resting on top of your head. You relax into his body embracing his warm embrace.
You sigh before replying. “It’s okay. I promise it’s okay.” You feel his body tense as you speak.
“It doesn’t mean that I don't want to spend less time with you,” You shift your gaze up, taking a step back to look him in the eye.
“But sometimes I have to do and figure things out on my own.” You reach up rubbing your thumb across his cheek, still a small look of sadness as he looks down at you.
“I love you. I love your protectiveness and I promise I value every part of you.” You whisper, not breaking eye contact. You only wanted some time alone, not to break up with him. A small smile creeped over his face.
“I love you darling.” He planted a small kiss on your forehead and brought you back into a hug,
You’d never give him up, no matter what.
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xoxoavenger · 15 days ago
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The Devil You Forgot
pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
summary: Y/N gets captured by a group of demons with a strange pattern.
word count: 2506
warnings: canon typical injuries, low-grade torture (like punching and non-graphic knife stuff)
a new player has entered the ring. welcome to the party, Dean Winchester
masterlist
"It's almost like you don't think I can handle myself."
"You know that's not true."
"Okay, then let me go."
"Y/N,"
"Dean," Y/N took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't hurt her boyfriend in the next couple seconds. "Babe, it's just food. I think I can pull it off." Dean breathed through his nose and pulled his lips in, and she knew this wasn't the last of their argument.
"You don't understand. These are-"
"Demons?" She cuts him off, wanting to slap him. "You mean the same creatures I've killed multiple of? By myself? Or is there a new breed that I'm unaware of?" She steps forward, and Dean takes a step back. He's been slapped by her before, he knows when he's crossed a line.
"I just want you to be safe, that's all." He says with his hands up. She rolls her eyes, grabs her Glock loaded with the demon-trap bullets she carved herself, and walks out.
"Oh man, you really handled that well." Sam says from his spot on his bed, computer in his lap. Dean lifts his head up and looked at the ceiling, wondering why his girlfriend was so hellbent on going to the diner alone. She doesn't need to, they could use this as some alone time, but no, God forbid Dean ever gets any alone time with her.
"These demons are just smart, is all. Smarter than the ones we usually fight. It'd be better to go in pairs." Dean tells his brother, who just shakes his head as he goes back to tapping away on his computer. They were trying to figure out why the demons would be here, in the middle of nowhere, Texas. So far, Sam didn't have any leads at all, but it wasn't like Dean was helping.
"She'll be fine, you know her. She's great at this stuff." Sam offhandedly said. Dean knows he's right, and that's what makes him upset.
"I know, but why would she not want me to come with?" Dean asks, shucking off his jacket and sitting on his bed. He puts his head in his hands, not sure what to do alone.
"Holy shit," Sam says, causing Dean to look over. His brother is staring at the laptop, concern etched on his face.
"What? What did you find?" Dean moves over, wanting to see the action.
"I'm comparing all the victims," Sam starts, grabbing some papers of the missing and murdered people. "I mean, we knew they were all women, but I just found this article about Fatima, and apparently her boyfriend had just asked her dad for permission."
"Permission for what?" Dean asked, and Sam almost hit him for the stupid question.
"To marry her, dumbass." Sam said, and Dean just blinks. "And when we went to the Kapnen's house, Loreli's sister said that her boyfriend was planning on proposing. Had the ring and everything."
"Fuck," Dean mutters, getting off the bed. He's in a daze as he begins to grab his jacket.
"But why are the demons taking women who are about to be engaged? How would they even know?" Sam is still looking through the town's papers online, trying to see if there was anything about the third missing woman.
"We have to find Y/N." Dean growls, emotion threatening to crawl up his throat. He's pulling it back, making sure to bottle that shit up for another time; this is something he's usually great at, but right now he's having trouble forcing the emotion down.
"What? Why? I just told you that the demons are going after women who are about to be engaged." Now Sam's the one who's about to be slapped, and he feels sick as he realizes what Dean is about to say just before he says it. His eyes go wide, even before his brother turns around. 
"Sam, Y/N is about to be engaged." Dean holds up a box he's been carrying around for approximately half a year, on the inside pocket of his jacket so Y/N couldn't feel it.
"Shit."
~
Y/N's not quite sure how the demons got the up on her, but she's now in some dingy warehouse basement with a bag over her head. She owes Dean a big apology and probably some sort of makeup-food-sex that she's been denying him for about a year.
They take the bag off and it scratches her face. Her hands are tied behind her back, her legs tied to the legs of the chair. Her mouth has also been bound, and she thinks the demons expected her to have been crying. But she stares at them angrily, blinking as they all furrow their eyebrows.
One of them slaps her, hard, and she keeps her head turned that way so they don't see the tears brimming. She will not cry in front of these demons, even if the moisture in her eyes is soley from the shock of nerves on her face.
"Feisty one, she is." One of them growls, and she smirks through the mouth binding as she turns back to them.
"Let's see if that mouth has the same attitude?" Another demon says, and she accidentally winces as they roughly rip the gag from her jaw. She cocks her head as she rights herself, wishing she could brush the hair out of her face.
"Why so quiet, honey?" Another demon smirks, grabbing her face. She looks around and realizes they're all men, which is a little weird for demons. They usually come in different genders, but she doesn't have time to think about why. She goes back to staring at the man holding her, maintaining eye contact. "What, you don't have anything to say?"
"You haven't asked me anything, dumbass." She grunts out, ripping her face from him. He just leans back as his friends seem to think that was at least a little funny, if the smiles on their faces are anything to go by.
"We don't need to ask anything, sweetheart." A demon said, and she just frowned sarcastically.
"Right, okay." She nods, laughing just to piss them all off. "Then what am I here for? Is it because you want him to come here? Because believe me, this little trap wouldn't have fooled him even when he was a teenager. So I'm gonna give you the chance to untie me and maybe he'll let you live. But even then, I honestly don't know that he will." They all stare at her, before one starts laughing and sets them all into a bought of laughter. She just blinks, not sure what they're laughing at. Is this not a trap? They have to know who Dean is, what he'll do to them.
"You stupid bitch." One of them laughs, and then he flicks a knife open. She lets her eyes widen a little bit, but besides that she doesn't move, not wanting to give anything away. She can't help the whimper that escapes when he snatches her jaw, squeezing too hard and pulling her head to the side so that her neck is exposed. The horrible thought creeps in that they're going to slit her throat, and she can't even wiggle out of these stupid cords around her wrists because her legs are still tied to metal and she would just be dead before she could take a step.
The blade slices across her collarbone, and she grits her teeth. She will not scream, she refuses to, but she lets out a grunt of pain. Her breathing is more like a wheeze through her teeth, and she doesn't even notice that they've finished slicing into her until the demon lets her head go. She lets it drop and then picks it up immediately, taking in a deep breath and looking at the other demons, forcing herself to smile.
"What're you smilin' about, darlin'?" Another one asks, and she doesn't let herself falter even as the cut burns her skin and the blood drips down her chest.
"You either want something from me, or you like playing with your food." She says. She's just stalling until Dean gets there, which should be soon knowing her boyfriend. "Which is fine, I'm not kink shaming you. But come on, it's like you don't know who I am." This earns her a hard punch to the face, one that leaves her seeing stars. She's pretty sure she blacks out for a moment, neck stretching and causing her cut to pull open more. She hisses, keeping everything else inside. She doesn't breathe until she can feel her face again, pain radiating through her eye socket and cheek bone.
"How's that for playing with food?" A demon asks, but this time before she can respond she's being hit again by another demon.
"Got a leftie. Helpful, don't ya think?" He says, and Y/N can feel the blood on her cheek as she hits the cut on her chest with her chin. She yelps, but tries to laugh it off.
Dean will be here soon. He's gotta be close.
"What's so goddamn funny?" One of them asks, and she just shakes her head as much as she can.
"He's gonna kill you." She tries to take pleasure through the pain, but someone with a bunch of fucking rings decides to hit her and she whimpers in pain. She can't scream, can't let them have it.
"Who is?" One of them chuckles - the one with the knife. She looks at the knife for only a moment before she looks back at the monster's face. "Your fiancé?" They all laugh, and she would crinkle her eyes in confusion if one weren't swollen shut.
"He isn't my fiancé," She says first, not sure why she feels the need to tell the demons of all creatures. She's about to tell them just who she's dating when they all start laughing like she said the funniest joke ever.
"Not yet, isn't that right?" One yells to the others, who continue their laughter. He turns to her, sighing and wiping his tears away. He leans against the back of Y/N's chair, knife pressing into her left cheek. She breathes in through her teeth as she tenses, feeling the knife break the skin. "You boyfriend hasn't popped the question. But he's had that damn thing for - how long did you say it was, Kaleb?" He turns back, and a demon on the side has a face red with laughter.
"Seven months!" He screams, and Y/N forgets about the pain for a moment. She looks at them all, not sure if they're telling the truth or not. She would have noticed, right? With the amount of hotels they're in and out of and the fact that they have shared a bed for years now. She would have noticed at the bunker, because they share a room, and she's sure there's not a hiding place she doesn't know of. She doesn't remember what it's like to sleep on her own, and Dean doesn't sleep in sweatpants. So where was he keeping it? If, of course, he actually had it. Because demons lie.
And it's not like she was expecting Dean to ask. She knows he wants it - the whole American Dream, Nuclear Family shit - but he hasn't talked about it, so she assumed he wasn't ready. She knew he didn't want a family while he was hunting, which may mean never, but she also knows that Dean wants to be with her forever. So yeah, she thought about it, but she didn't want to push him.
"You're lying." She chuckled, face hurting as it scrunched. "You must have the wrong man. His name is Dean Winchester, may have heard of him?" Where is he?
"Wait," The demon in front of her pauses, and she's a little confused why they're not laughing anymore. Did they actually have the wrong man? The demon turns to one other demon in particular, who looks like he's about to piss his pants. "The man you've been watching is Dean fucking Winchester?" He screams, and Y/N blinks in surprise; they actually didn't know it was Dean.
"I only knew his name, not what he looked like! How was I supposed to know that idiot was him?" The demon hissed, and they looked actually scared.
"We're dead." One of others said, a hand going to cover his mouth. "He's gonna kill us all. He's probably already here-" The demon cuts himself off as blood starts to pour from his chest, light exploding from the space. He falls to the ground, and there Dean is, looking like the righteous hand of God. Blood is splattered over his face, but he's not hurt at all.
"He said it, darlin'," Y/N laughs, even though it hurts. "You're dead."
Dean uses the knife, and just the knife, to go through each demon. Y/N can feel her skull pounding, and by the time Dean gets over to her she has her head bowed.
"I'm here, baby, I'm here." He mutters to her, immediately cutting her bindings. He sees the leg bindings and knows that they did it so she couldn't slip out. He cuts those first, then moves up.
"Dean," She whispers, still not lifting her head. When he cuts her wrists she falls forward, and he grabs her.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Get up, baby, come on." He holds her, one hand moving to her face to lift it up. "Oh, I'm gonna summon those sons of bitches to kill them again." He mutters as he takes in her wounds. He killed them with the demon knife, so he couldn't anyway, but it's a nice sentiment.
"Do you have a ring?" She asks, hoping he understands through the mottled words she was able to gargle out around the pain.
"What?" He heard her, but he's hoping her didn't actually hear her. "Come on, let's go, sweetheart. I gotcha." He kisses her forehead and begins to help her up, and she never breaks eye contact with him.
"Dean," She grabs onto his jacket with one hand, breathing heavily. He pauses, holding her as he surveys her injuries. She's got a couple cuts, bruises across her face, and he wants to stick the knife into himself for letting her go alone. "What's this?" She smiles crookedly, holding up the box that she had snagged from his pocket. He can't help but let his jaw drop slightly, shocked she slipped one by on him.
"You should give that back so I don't have to do this in a goddamn demon lair," He tries to smirk, but his heart is racing. He can tell his hand is shaking when she hands the box back, and he puts it in his pocket quickly before he starts helping her walk out of there.
"You're not even gonna let me see it?" She whines, and he just laughs into the cool air as they walk out the door.
"Not until we have a case on the coast." He tells her, helping her into the car.
"Fuck!" She yells, half a laugh behind it. "I'm never getting married!"
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler
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Heyo! Got a question or two. (Or six-)
- Do you ship Mabifica? Or Dipcifica for that matter? I personally like the former more but I'm just imagining Bill's reaction to having to deal with the fact the girl who insulted Mabel is now dating her/her brother.
Actually, even if you ship neither, I just want his reaction the the Pine twins now being friends(?) With Paz.
Would he try to scare her off? Would he warm up to her?
(If you couldn't already tell, Pacifica is one of my favorite characters, just below Mabel.)
- Does Stan and Ford ever get as close as they did at the end of the show? I mean, Ford must be reeling, sure. But.. Do they ever get on that boat?
- Does Bill make an effort to reconcile with Ford? Even just a show of apology?
- And does Ford bond with the twins? Would he just see them as another thing Bill has tainted?
- Also. Are you planning to make fanfiction of this? Or a comic? Or any media that tells the story? It's now become an integral part of my life.
- Last one! What other bonding moments does Bill have with Wendy? We've got the bets, yeah. But is that all?
(I found your au an hour and a half ago, and I'm already this invested. That is absolutely amazing, considering I don't really latch on to things. (Thanks a lot, autism) I love the art, and I love the tidbits. If it ever gets too overwhelming, don't be afraid to take a breather!! ><)
Hello! I shall do my best to answer!
— I’m personally a Dipcifica enjoyer myself! I don’t see them getting together this summer, so it’s less of a dating thing, but Bill would be decent at recognising the signs of a crush forming thanks to Mabel exposure all summer. He’d be completely against it. He’s listing every reason why the Northwests suck to Dipper, all the times Pacifica has done something to make Mabel feel awful! He’s maybe a little dramatic about it, in true Bill fashion, and is taken aback when Mabel insists it’s okay.
Pacifica’s changing, they both say! Mabel fully intends to be Dipper’s wingman!
Bill finds that idea ridiculous. People don’t just change. Humans are known for staying the same once they’ve settled into their body — that’s just how it is.
Pacifica has proven to be the opposite of everything Bill has taught the twins, and so he sees the blooming friendship as a threat and doesn’t like it. It doesn’t help that it’s around the time his fear of changing is at an all time high, so he’s maybe projecting a little onto Pacifica.
He definitely tries to scare her off initially, and when that doesn’t work, he settles with threatening her should she ever make Mabel upset against. His threats are… very intense and it’s clear the issue runs deeper than just Pacifica. He really goes for her insecurities. Honestly, this may be one of his worst moments in front of the twins? Stan ends up having to intervene and try to figure out what’s going on in Bill’s head beyond just being protective over Mabel.
(Pacifica girl I am so sorry)
He doesn’t warm to her per se, not yet, as much as he learns to tolerate her sometimes being around. She does her best to avoid him anyhow.
— Still working out the exact details so I don’t have much to say right now, but yes, he does. A verbal apology from Bill is also kind of a big deal. Like Stan struggles saying Please, and Ford struggles saying thank you, Bill struggles saying sorry.
— Ford does bond with the twins! I think I mentioned in a post a bit ago that Dungeons Dungeons and more Dungeons is like a gateway for their relationship, and it helps Ford become more comfortable around them and vice versa. Though the general unease still lingers at times, Dipper starts to get comfortable asking him more and more questions about Gravity Falls, and Mabel knits him a few sweaters and tries to catch him up on all the pop culture he’s missed etc. Sometimes he snaps at them when he needs space, and he tends to hide behind Stan some days, but they do get to know this new Ford, and begin to get closer to him bit by bit before Summer ends.
I think he does see them as something Bill has tainted, but not in an irreversible way. If anything, it motivates him to try and get to know them more once the initial fear has settled, to try and re-instate himself as Ford Pines, and be their Great Uncle.
— I don’t plan on making a fic or a comic, mainly because I am busy right now and juggling a lot. It just isn’t something feasible for me and I notoriously don’t do well managing long projects. But, I am hoping to do art and maybe mini comics for it, once I defeat my art block and style crisis, perhaps some one-shots too if I can also defeat my eternal writers block. I’m honoured you think that way of it though!!
— They generally have a very positive relationship! Bill is seen as the cooler Stan by her friends, mainly because of the fact he doesn’t really act his age, and happily enables anything they want to do, and so whenever she needs something, she tends to go to him. (“No hard feelings Stan!”) And If Stan taught her how to shoplift, Bill probably taught her how to get away with murder, not that she’d really need that, the thought still counts. They also share similar music tastes, so when Bill’s around the shack, he’ll ask Wendy to blast some AC/DC while they work. He’s also taught her all the ways to get under Stan’s skin, because he knows for a fact she’ll use them.
I think this AU too, he’s the one who showed her the rooftop spot. He encouraged any form of rebelling against the system, even if that means slacking and getting Stan to shout at both of them.
Thank you so much!? That means a lot to hear and I hope you continue to enjoy it!! And I appreciate it, I’m trying to take it slow and answer whatever asks I can and when I can, to avoid getting overwhelmed.
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luveline · 1 year ago
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this is kinda self indulgent but a few hours ago i was trying to fix some problems with my email and im not tech savvy so i was frustrated and at that point i just cried and gave up LMAO can we get that with a comforting remus☺️☺️ i totally get if you'll refuse this request but if ever you take the time to write this thank you so much🫶❤️❤️
modern au
“I don't know how to do it,” you say. You're walking that fine line between frustration and upset, paralysed, and when you talk the emotion in your voice is obvious. 
Remus perks up, which is to say he hears it and immediately comes to attention. “Do what, dove?” 
“I can't fix this email thing, I thought I fixed it, but it's still broken.” 
Remus is about as tech savvy as you are, which isn't very. He uses his laptop for Microsoft Word and Scrivener; he barely opens his emails. “I can have a look?” he offers anyways. 
Remus sits on the bench beside you at the kitchen table and pulls your laptop toward him. You have a hard time telling him the problem, all choked up with heat and wishing it would fix itself, “I probably messed it up myself but nothing comes up when I search for it and I just don't understand it.” 
He does a couple of the things that you'd already tried with no success. At your wits end, you stand up from the bench thinking you'll make yourself a drink, a burning lump in your throat as you grab a glass from the draining board and fill it with water. 
“I'm sorry, dove, I don't think I'm gonna do it. I'll ring Mary.” 
“It's okay.” You press your hand to your eyes. It's not okay, you're fed up and tired and you hate using the laptop. “Why is everything so difficult?” 
“Dove–” 
“I don't care, it can stay broken.” Unbidden, a furious tear races down your cheek. 
You glare at the glass of water in your hand and put it down in the sink. Remus makes his sound, that loving hum of sympathy as he stands to sidle up behind you. “It's alright,” he says, testing the waters with a hand on your shoulder.
You slouch at his touch and he takes it for the go ahead, wrapping his arms around you from the back, his chin pressed to the skin just shy of your eye. “Don't be upset, lovely,” he encourages, hands roving up and down the front of you gently. “We'll fix it. Just take a breath.” 
“I don't know why it won't work,” you say, trying to be more angry than upset. 
“I'm sure we'll figure it out. You've been on the laptop for hours, why don't we go sit down and watch the telly for a bit?” He takes one of your hands, holds it to your chest as he curves in around you. “Please don't wind yourself up. I'll get someone to fix it, okay? It's not the end of the world.” 
You know it isn't, but this is nice. You turn in his embrace for a proper chest-to-chest hug, wiping your tears dry in his shoulder. “You sound so sad when you sniffle,” he whispers, chuckling fondly as you do. 
“Sorry. I'm just annoyed.” 
“I know. It'll be fine, don't stress out about it.” His hands fan out over your shoulders, an encompassment physically that mirrors the warmth of his vocal comfort, the mild roughness of his voice and the care put into each word. 
He always cares about things, even when they're small in the grand scheme. “Thank you for trying to fix it,” you say into his shoulder. “I feel better knowing there wasn't an easy solution.” 
“Well, there might be. Or we're both idiots,” he jokes. 
You laugh wetly, hooking your chin over his shoulder. “Maybe.” You sigh, feeling much less heavy than you had. “At least we're idiots together.” 
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enchantedflameandflower · 3 months ago
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Gavin (Karl Urban) x reader!
Fireside confessions, cuddling and you finally get in those big, strong, muscly, hot arms!
Tumblr media
Summary: When you started working at the lumber mill, you couldn't help but instantly fall in lust with the strong, quiet younger brother. But you're determined to keep it professional, until one work trip suddenly changes it all.
co-written with CheshireCatSmile
@kus-babygirl @shirley-girly @jynx15 @everchar-of-the-shire @scraftsku35
@deathlesun @billybutcherxyou @butchers-girl @hippo2211
karl urban masterlist
direct link to part 1
Part 4
Gavin chuckles affectionately at your ask about dinner and searches through his bag, pulling out some packets with the name of some new hightech backpacking adventure company. "Been wanting to try these for awhile...let's see...would you like the gourmet beef stew or the um...old fashioned chicken and dumplings? Or there's beef lo mein if you're feeling like Chinese...or...turkey chili?" He hands you a couple of the pouches to look at, his strong fingers brushing against yours.
You can’t help grinning. “Actually they all sound good. I’ll do the chicken and dumplings tonight.” He nods and grabs the beef stew for himself, then props them on the fire in a particular way to heat. He sits right next to you and you shift a little so your leg is just pressing against his.
He seems to notice. "The temperature is dropping a lot quicker than I would have figured for this early in the season. Are you gonna be warm enough tonight?" He presses his thigh a little more firmly against yours but when you glance over he’s concentrating on the fire.
But you can feel the heat radiating from him and it’s wonderful. He’s right, though, it is getting cold. “I brought a thermal and an extra sweatshirt, so…I hope so. I mean, I’m sure I’ll be okay. I’ve slept in worse places,” you smile at him.
Gavin turns to look at you, dark eyes swirling with emotions and unanswered questions at your admission. "I'll try to make things as comfy-cozy as I can out here for you,” he gives you a warm look. “After all...you're doin’ me a big favor comin’ with me. Jack and I really need things to fall in line with this for the business and...I really need Jack to know he can count on me." His voice trails off.  "I'm sorry....I didn't mean to...you're just easy to talk to."
“It’s okay.” You want him to be able to talk to you about anything. “I’m really happy to be here, for you and the business. I want you guys to be successful. I believe in what you’re doing, trying to cut responsibly.
“But I think Jack already does know he can count on you,” you add, watching while he takes the pouches out of the fire and sets them to cool in front of you. 
"I hope so. I have a lot to make up for," he says so softly you can barely hear him. He hands you some utensils and opens your packet for you then does the same with his own. He smiles and taps his packet against yours like a toast. "Moment of truth," he chuckles.
After a few bites, what he said niggles in the back of your mind, and you glance over at him. You hope the question isn’t too much, but you truly want to get to know him better. “What really did happen last year? I’ve heard murmurs here and there but everyone is pretty quiet about it. Was there…really a dragon? Why are people upset with you?”
"There was really a dragon,” he answers, meeting your gaze then looking away. “I....well I had some hair-brained get rich quick idea and I went off half-cocked without takin’ anyone's feelings into account. I wouldn't listen to anyone, I was so full of myself... Almost lost the people I care about most in the world and turned something amazing into a nightmare for everyone. I've had a long time to think about it since then. I can't believe how blind I was to everything that really mattered." He shakes his head and pokes the fire with a stick sending a small plume of sparks into the air.
You can feel his mood has plummeted and now you feel guilty for bringing it up. You chew your bottom lip for a minute thinking. You know he can be impatient sometimes, and gets caught up in excitement when he has an idea. Clearly he’s always hoping to prove himself to his older brother, so you can see how he could’ve made a mistake like that. “I’m sorry,” you murmur. “I shouldn’t have said anything. But I think your brother sees how much thought you’ve put into your work since then. He knows how much you care for him.”
“I wonder if my nephew will ever really trust me?” he muses, still staring into the fire. “That little kid has more courage than most of the grown men I hang with." Gavin shakes his head and stares off into the distance for a moment. Then, coming back to himself, he looks at you. "Oh hey, I forgot. I brought some cornbread from the diner."
It’s an obvious shift away from the subject and attempt to lighten the mood, and you’re grateful. He rummages in his pack and pulls out a tin. "Should I warm it a tiny bit?"
“Sure, that sounds really good.” You know which diner he means and it’s the sweet kind of corn bread, almost like a dessert, and you actually love it. “That was the first place I ate when I got this job. A special treat.”
"Yeah, their food is the best." He opens the tin and sits it just so at the edge of the fire. "You know...I think I may have seen you there that evening," he says softly, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, as though trying to gage your reaction. "It was still pretty warm out and you had that pretty yellow sundress on..."
“Yes that was me,” you blush a little again, but smile. “How embarrassing to be caught taking myself on a date,” you laugh. “Going out all alone.” You take a bite from your chicken dinner then reach for a corner of corn bread, popping it in your mouth.
"Not embarrassing at all,” he grins. “But a sweet, smart, pretty girl like you should never have to go to dinner alone if ya don’t want to. We...um...we may need to fix that." He reaches to break off a little piece of cornbread himself. 
His leg feels warm where it presses against yours. His heat is addicting and you can’t stop yourself from wondering what it would feel like to be wrapped up tight in his arms. Your heart flutters at his compliments. They’re hard to believe but nice to hear. “How would we fix that?” you ask him even though your heart is racing with anxiousness.
"Well...I was thinkin’...you might like to go out to dinner with me sometime. Well...that is...if you wouldn't feel uncomfortable going out with your boss to dinner and...maybe a movie? I mean...I'll understand if you have reservations about… About mixing your work and private life but..."
Your heart flutters wildly again and your smile grows wider. You can’t believe this is actually happening. Even though the entire thing makes you nervous, you can’t help but want it. “I’d really like that a lot, Gavin. If you don’t think Jack would mind.” You finish the last bite and just then a breeze comes through the trees, making them rustle then making you shiver.
He sees you shiver and tosses a little more wood on the fire then scoots over and puts his strong arm around you pulling you into his side. "Definitely going to be cold tonight but I think I have the tent set up nice and cozy so we should be okay."
You almost give a soft little moan when he pulls you close but you manage to stop it. “Th-thank you,” you murmur. It feels so good for him to even care like this, and he feels good against you, but your heart is really racing now. “My um…my last relationship didn’t go well, and it ended really badly so if I seem anxious, that’s why. But I like you, Gavin. I just wanted you to know.”
"I like you too. I want to really spend time getting to know you. We can take it slow...no pressure. I've always rushed headlong into things in the past and...that hasn't really served me well." He pokes at the fire some more with his free hand but keeps his arm firmly around you as the chill settles in a little more a the first stars wink on above the treetops.
The crackling of the fire is soothing and his hand starts to rub your arm idly as he holds you. It’s more comfort than you’ve felt in a really long time. Without you realizing you start to drift off.
What feels like only a moment later, your eyes flutter open and you feel movement and strong arms holding you against a warm solid chest. Is someone carrying you? Then it comes back to you in a flash...you had started to drift off near the fire. Oh my! Was Gavin carrying you ...you startle and a soothing, low male voice is telling you to hush...that everything is okay. Then you feel the fat raindrops on your face...
You blink for a moment then open your eyes all the way and you can just barely see Gavin’s eyes in the darkness as it starts to rain. He crouches down right next to the small tent and carefully sets you slowly on your feet when he sees you’re awake. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Gavin! I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that. You didn’t have to carry me...”
Gavin’s answering smile is so warmly affectionate, you feel like you might just throw yourself at him here and now. "No worries Sleeping Beauty,” he murmurs, his voice husky. “I really didn't mind. I just need to close up the big pack and put it up a tree. I'll be right back. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable and I'll be back in a few minutes. He brushes your hair back from your face gently and looks into your eyes for a moment then turns to take care of the pack.
Next up: A shirt and some jeans are coming off and makin’ out tent style! Let me know if you want a tag! Thank you so so much for reading and for your likes, comments and reblogs, they mean the whole world to me!
Part 5
karl urban masterlist
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago
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AITA for breaking up with a man to immediately date a woman?👩‍❤️‍👩
So a couple of years ago I (at the time 25F) identified as bisexual and ace. I had dated before, but it was all long distance relationships, and all men. At this point, I was single, and while in university, I met a guy (Jake, 26M) and he confessed he was into me. I only really thought of Jake as a friend, but I agreed we could date- because I've always confused platonic/romantic feelings, and foolishly thought I could probably "grow into" the relationship, like my previous ones. Jake is smart, friendly, very sweet and supportive, thoughtful, I didn't see why we couldn't date! But of course, as relationships do, suddenly he becomes more physical, more affectionate with me- which duh, we're dating, I should've expected this- but it blindsided me.
I would very frequently communicate to him what I was comfortable/uncomfortable with, and he'd be okay backing off and taking things more slowly, but would occasionally gently push my boundaries. I'd have to remind him that I wasn't comfortable, and he'd back off and would tell me it's okay- but I don't think he meant it. I think he was hoping I would "get over" these uncomfortable feelings and give him what he wants, eventually. It got to a point I was uncomfortable even being alone with him, because I knew he'd start acting this way. I was deeply appreciative of his patience, since I know I was being weird about our relationship.
While this is happening, I was venting to my dear friend Mary (25F) about how I felt terrible, how I felt stuck, and Mary would support me, hear me out, and comfort me. I had also met Mary in university, and Jake and Mary knew each other and were also friends. We were all a part of the same friend group- but I only would talk to Mary about what was going on between me and Jake.
A few months of this passes, and it occurs to me that I had a crush on Mary. A real, actual, true crush. One I'd never felt before in any of my other relationships- I had a connection with her, she and I understood each other. One night, we jokingly both kind of confessed to each other at the same time. It was then that it all clicked for me- I'm not bi… I'm a lesbian. It's why I've felt that I've had to "grow into" my previous relationships with men. I never truly was attracted to them, and just thought that was how all relationships were. Mary was the first person I actually felt like I could be myself.
Anyway- Mary knew about Jake obviously, and I told her up front that I'd need time to break up with him. She understood completely. I broke up with him the next day or so in person, quietly, in private. I didn't tell him about Mary, nor about me realizing that I'm a lesbian. I just said that I didn't think we could work out- that he wants more than I could give, and that I wasn't good for him, he deserved someone better. He understood, but he was very upset. And angry. He threatened me with a "If you date anybody in our group- we won't be friends anymore." and stormed off. I cried, but figured I deserved it. He truly cared about me, and I feel like I lied to him through our whole relationship- even if I didn't realize it.
Mary and I dated in secret shortly after, to prevent Jake from finding out and hating the both of us and causing turmoil in our group. He went around and told all of our male friends to leave me alone and not to touch me, so I'm pretty sure he never suspected Mary. I only found out about this because one of said other male friends approached me and told me what Jake had said- Jake never made this apparent to me.
But me and Mary? I've never been happier. We cuddle, we kiss- we do everything you'd expect in a relationship, and I'm never uncomfortable. And when I AM uncomfortable, Mary leaves it alone. She never pushes my boundaries unless I try something on my own terms or we talk about it first. She's a dream come true, and she's beautiful and I love her.
Cut to years later- me and Mary have been together for 10 years now. We've both graduated university, we live together, and we're soon to be married. We're still very close with our friend group- we regularly meet up for movie nights, dinner outings and dnd sessions. Jake's still one of our best friends, and he knows that we're dating, now. I've never addressed me and Mary to Jake directly, so I've never known how he's felt about us.
This is years after the fact, of course, and Jake is still a wonderful friend and (seemingly) has moved on/doesn't care about me and Mary. But I'm occasionally haunted by this mess that I caused, and I feel like I was terrible to Jake. So, Tumblr, I leave you all to judge me. Was I the asshole?
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suzukiblu · 1 year ago
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Ko-fi thank-you sentences for Lux; Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good! I, uh, was only supposed to write nine sentences for this, buuuuut I didn't only write nine sentences for this. 😅 LOOK, I HIT A GROOVE, I'M NOT SORRY. Enjoy your read-more, y'all.
“Do you want some ideas for names?” Billy offers. Most kids don’t get to “legally” name themselves quite this way, so he feels like helping Superboy pick a good name is important. He wants him to have one he really likes. “I know a lot of them. Or we could look some up online? Batman got us a desktop and got you a laptop and a tablet, in case you need one for anything. Oh, and there’s phones, so we can keep in contact! I should grab you yours, actually, it’s . . . somewhere in the kitchen, I think.” 
“‘Ideas’?” Superboy repeats, looking a little uncomfortable. “Like . . . what?” 
“I just mean suggestions,” Billy promises, immediately distracted from the phone by Superboy’s apparent discomfort. The phone can wait. “You can pick any name you want, it’s up to you. I’m not gonna, like, veto you or anything.” 
“. . . sure,” Superboy says. He still looks uncomfortable and Billy still can’t be sure he really means it, but . . . well, he just has to do his best, he guesses.
“You don’t have to decide right away, you can think it over for a bit,” he says. “But we at least need something to put on the paperwork. You can always change it later if you decide you don’t like it.” 
“Whatever,” Superboy says, his mouth thinning. Billy thinks Cadmus was sort of terrible for not giving him a name. Actually, no, Cadmus was really terrible for that.
“How about I just list some, and if you like any of them, you can just say?” he suggests. 
“Whatever,” Superboy repeats, looking away. Well . . . it’s not a “no”, at least, so Billy figures they can try, and if Superboy gets annoyed, they’ll just stop and try again later. 
“Okay,” he says. “Um . . . let’s see, what are some good ones . . . David, Asher, Zachary, Parker, Otto, Levi . . . um . . .” 
Superboy’s jaw tightens. Billy stops listing names and bites his tongue. Okay. The name thing is a sore spot, maybe. Or maybe Superboy just doesn’t like any of his suggestions and thinks he’s lame, he guesses. That might also be, like . . . a thing. 
“I’ll try to think of some more later,” Billy says, repressing a guilty wince and grasping desperately for a new topic. “Do you, uh . . . have any questions? Or anything like that?” 
Probably he should’ve asked that sooner, come to think. 
"How often are you gonna be here?" Superboy asks, still looking away. Billy can’t really read what he can see of his face very well, but hopefully once they know each other better he'll get better at that kind of thing. Like, he’ll have to, right? 
"Oh, like–pretty much whenever I'm not doing hero stuff or on any League missions," he says. "I'll make sure and tell you if I'm ever gonna be gone overnight or anything like that, okay?" 
Superboy . . . blinks. Looks back at him. 
"You're going to live here?" he asks in confusion. Billy blinks too, tilting his head.
"Yeah," he says. "I mean, it wouldn't be very nice of me to just ditch you here all by yourself, would it?" 
"I can take care of myself," Superboy says, his expression shuttering. Billy frowns. 
"Well, sure, but that doesn't mean anybody's gonna make you," he says. Just because Superboy’s physically old enough to take care of himself doesn’t mean he’s not technically still a baby. He deserves to get taken care of and have somebody help him figure out, like . . . everything, pretty much. Civilian life and superhero stuff both. 
That’s why Billy’s doing this, so . . . yeah. 
“Why?” Superboy says. 
“Because that’d be really mean,” Billy says. “And we’re the good guys, so we have to be the good guys.” 
Superboy’s jaw tightens again, and then he folds his arms and looks away again too. He looks upset. Billy wishes he knew how to fix it. Like–even just a little bit. He knows sometimes that stuff just doesn’t “fix”, but . . . still. He’s trying to be a good dad here, so he feels like he should fix things like Superboy being upset. 
Well–he guesses just letting him work through being upset is okay too, if it comes to it. For when things aren’t that easy to get distracted from. Billy would also have a lot to be upset about if he’d been made in a lab and told he was supposed to be somebody he’s not and gotten mind-controlled the first time he’d ever woken up for real. Like, that’s a really shit first day. 
Superboy must feel really weird, too. Cadmus probably didn’t really teach him how to be a kid or a teenager, since they were trying to make an adult Superman, so it’s no wonder he thinks they’re gonna make him take care of himself. Billy’s gonna have to help him learn how being a kid works, he’s pretty sure. 
Well, he can do that. And, well, Superboy’s friends can cover the “teenager” stuff, he guesses. Like, probably. 
. . . maybe he could find a couple parenting books or something. A parenting book might be a good idea. 
"I just don't get it," Superboy says after a long moment staring at the wall, tensing his folded arms. "What about when you have to get back to your real life? Like your . . . your job and your house and your . . . family. This is keeping you away from all that." 
"Oh," Billy realizes, blinking at him in surprise. He guesses Superboy probably would expect him to have that kinda stuff, huh. "No, I don't really . . . have any of those, technically? I mean, I am human, I wasn't lying or anything, I just don't have a job or another house or anything like that. Actually the Justice League is paying for all of this, 'cause we were all talking about the best place for you to live and Superman asked if maybe I could take care of you, and I had to tell him I couldn't 'cause I didn't actually have anything to take care of you with, but Batman said the League could set up a stipend to pay for stuff and help me get a place and all that if I wanted to do it, sooooo . . ." 
". . . Superman asked you to take care of me?" Superboy asks hesitantly, shifting in his bean bag and finally glancing back to him again. 
"Yeah," Billy confirms with a nod, a little relieved that Superboy’s looking at him again. Well–close to him, anyway. He’s not quite making eye contact, but that’s fine. "Well, him and Batman. Because my powers are kinda close to yours so I can help you train and stuff, but also Kryptonians are vulnerable to magic so if you've got any mind control triggers in your head that we missed I should be able to stop you without having to hurt you. Like I could restrain you until we could help you or until you could snap out of it on your own, I mean." 
"Oh," Superboy says, blinking slowly. "I just figured somebody had some kryptonite somewhere in case something like that happened." 
"No," Billy says, frowning at the thought. Geez, what kind of an awful dad would he be if he did that? He's seen what kryptonite does to Superman and it totally sucks. "Kryptonite hurts. I'm not gonna let anybody use kryptonite on you. Er–well, probably eventually a bad guy will when you're on a mission, that's kind of how those go, but we're definitely not gonna keep any here.” 
"Why not?" Superboy asks, frowning back at him. "It's more efficient than actually fighting me. And I might injure you if I'm like that." 
"Yeah," Billy says. "But also somebody bad could use it against you if they ever broke in and found it. And this is, um–well. This is your home now, so I don't think there should be things that could hurt you in it anyway." 
Superboy stares blankly at him again. Billy tries not to fidget. 
"There were lots of things that could hurt me in Cadmus," Superboy says, his face staying very, very blank in a way that Billy immediately hates. 
"Well, this isn't Cadmus," Billy says firmly, trying to look as sincere and trustworthy and dad-ly as he knows how to. He had a really, really great dad. He can pay that forward. Superboy deserves a great dad too. "I'm taking care of you now, and I don't want kryptonite or anything like it around you. Ever." 
Superboy stares at him. His expression is really complicated-looking and Billy doesn't understand it, so he just keeps trying to look as dad-ly as possible. Hopefully that'll help, or at least won't hurt. 
". . . what about your family, though?" Superboy asks after a long moment, flicking his eyes away uncomfortably. Billy really hopes he's doing this right. "Or do you, uh, not have one of those either?" 
"Um," Billy says. "Well, I have the worst uncle in the world who I really hope is rotting in prison somewhere by now, but otherwise it's just you."
"What?" Superboy frowns again, looking confused. "What's just me?" 
"Uh . . . my family?" Billy replies, a little embarrassed. He hasn't actually had any family that he could still want to be around in . . . well, a really long time now, so it feels sort of weird to say it, but it is true. Dubiously-legally true, given all the fake paperwork Batman’s been putting together, but still true. 
Superboy gives him the blank stare yet again. Billy feels like a moron, but–well, he's not gonna take it back. Even if Superboy thinks he's presuming too much too quick or something, which admittedly he kinda is, Billy also can't imagine how awful it'd be hearing someone call you their family and then say they weren't really or hadn't actually meant it or just . . . whatever. 
Superboy might not even care if he did, but . . . 
Well. Billy would care. So he's not gonna.
Ever.
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