#I'm just having a bad time. i need to get out of this house.
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andcars · 1 day ago
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# 𝗠𝗩𝟯𝟯 ─── GAMER MOMENTS MASTERLIST⠀REQUEST ME⠀TAGLIST⠀PATREON GUIDE⠀AO3
YOU'RE A MINECRAFT STREAMER and get in contact with some new guys. one of them won't stop bullying you. it's kinda silly how he acts like he's being subtle that he's trying to flirt with you.
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TAGS. . . # fluff, bullying as flirting, pining max verstappen, 'oblivious' reader, minecraft streamers
FIC STYLE. . . # social media au (instagram chats, tweets)
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zsync
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ty FSMP for having me. that being said, hopefull i didn't give too much of a bad impression to some of ya'll....
liked by albonono, grussell and 7,742 others
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stellaroit i MISSED A ZSYNC STREAM?!?!?
orrifices RIP it was a funny stream
stellaroit what happened the vod isn't out yet
rudemi played minecraft in a new friend group and just decided to cause chaos towards this other streamer the entire time
angeleles who the hell is this lion33 dude and why did he have to hog all the wheat
divissx CHAT THE FURNACE IS NOT FURNACING!! highlight of the stream
lion33 mate i need u to leave the smp
albonono You're just jealous she got all the diamonds in the main island
lion33 completely unrelated
zsync (i'm not) sorry max
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ynpng
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chat i am not washed at minecraft
liked by alexalbono, georgerussell and 219 others
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georgerussell Disagree
ynpng like i ASKED
alexalbono Slay
alexalbono Btw why're u off priv do u know that
ynpng yessir
alexalbono Suspicious
alexalbono Are you joining the server soon. Max is annoying me
ynpng stop hogging my comments + maybe idk i'm still bitter abt him killing my cows
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lion33
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appreciate @ albonono for letting me on his stream. i do have his password now btw
liked by albonono, grussell, zsync and 13,611 others
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zsync WAS THAT WHY ALEX WAS JUST MUTED THE ENTIRE TIME?? IT WAS YOU??
lion33 lol
albonono @ zsync he was enjoying receiving flowers from you too much
lion33 your base? exploded.
shouula i love having a pov of max smiling like an idiot when yn was treating him like alex (aka kindly)
vrikrik real. yn is living the y/n life. what i would do to make him smile like that
albonono If u wanted to flirt do it on your own stream I literally went to piss
lion33 ???
massuech dude this is the weirdest softlaunch ever
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zsync @ zsyncc · 28 October i'm never playing this game again
141 replies 881 reposts 1.8k likes
Max V @ lion33 · 28 October — Replying to @ zsyncc ur being dramatic lol my house was griefed i needed somewhere to stay 41 replies 331 likes
mia 🕸 @ webberstrr · 28 October — Replying to @ lion33 just say you wanted to put your beds together in minecraft and leave 2 replies 6 likes
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EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October so we agree that max and yn were flirting the entire thing right
14 replies 7 reposts 63 likes
EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October — Replying to @ eeves1 i don't like rpf but it is kinda funny how max was goading yn on like a kindergarten with a crush 3 replies 7 likes
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zsync
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my beautiful house before it was INVADED BY THE DUTCH (also here's the mirmir bath pics ya'll begged for)
liked by albonono, grussell , lion33 and 7,742 others
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pineeapper KITTYYY
lion33 you could've just said no
zsync would u have taken no as an answer?
lion33 no haha this is what u get for stealing my diamonds
littelorrenst chaotic stream as always
piapastry no one else gonna question the weird domesticity of her and max? no? ok
albonono Why're you reposting the mirmir pics from your "priv" account
zsync because i can
lion33 what? u have a priv?
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Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng 142 followers · 521 posts
lion33 this isn't private lmao
ynpng no i just took it off priv for a bit
lion33 oh. ok btw like do u wanna film something tgt soon
ynpng yea sure why not
lion33 cool cool yea friday?
ynpng sure
lion33 shared a location
ynpng huh
lion33 where we can meet. alex told me you live near me so
ynpng wait omfg i thought u meant like stream
lion33 oh it's ok if u want it to be just a stream like minecraft or smthn
ynpng no no its okay. i need new vid on my main yt anyways
lion33 u sure? lol it's ok if u dont wanna film irl w me
ynpng stop being such a hard ass maxy. i say yes to filming
lion33 cool. thanks btw i really like ur videos 👍
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zsync
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causing chaos in the toy store in my new video. thank you @ lion33 for featuring and being my slave for the day
liked by albonono, grussell, lion33 and 64,147 others
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wiiredxs never thought id get to see max doing an irl vlog willingly
hamiston who messed with the timeline why am i seeing max and yn tgt
vrikrik RIGHT like max flew a plane just to film this video 😭 they live in diff continents
lion33 sighs
albonono Your flirting technique sucks
lion33 shut the fuck up
orrifices am i delusional is this not the equivalent to teasing ur friend over his crush
grussell Yn, I hope you're seeing this
zsync seeing what
grussell Crikey...
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Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng
georgerussell I don't wanna be the bearer of news... But Max has a crush on you
ynpng that's crazy dawg
georgerussell Okay I need some more reaction than that Me and the guys' GC have been talking about it ever since the first FSMP stream
ynpng whattttttt he's whatttttttt
georgerussell What in the Have you like known this the entire time
ynpng George. The man is a Monaco based streamer. I do not live in Monaco. He told me that Alex said we live near each other. I can kinda tell when people have a crush...
georgerussell And that's just your reaction!? I still expected something!
ynpng ill give u a reaction if he does something more obvious in the next stream
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zsync @ zsyncc · 8 November fsmp birthday stream 2nite y'all. wish me bday luck i need netherite
568 replies 7k reposts 12.9k likes
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EVE @ eeves1 · 8 November alright are we ever going to talk about how max (and im entirely sure it's max) put netherites in yn's chest like that was so cute...
27 replies 142 reposts 628 likes
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♠ | FIO @ butt3fl1es · 8 November WHY DID I ENTER THE STREAM TO MAX MAXPLAINING ABOUT MONACO BOYS NOT BEING FUCKBOYS!?!?
WHAT IS HE YAPPING ABT
16 replies 7 reposts 88 likes
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#33 @ quetoii · 8 November someone needs to tell max his cam is still on everyone can see him giggling after yn thanked him for his gift
23 replies 98 reposts 218 likes
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dumb blonde moment @ jaccalps · 8 November — Replying to @ quetoii it's his fault anyways like no one streams minecraft w their cam on for maximum laziness
2 replies 6 likes
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ynpng 🔒
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@ lion33 thanks for the present! and you, I guess. but seriously, you need like better courting skills. my nephew could do way better than you and he's 3yo
liked by alexalbono, georgerussell and 327 others
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alexalbono I'm sorry, courting!?
ynpng if bullying me counts as courting yeah
georgerussell ... No one won the bet
lion33 this is why you don't start a bet
georgerussell Mate, no one expected you to try and get with her like two weeks when you first met
ynpng ok to clarify, we are not dating. he's funny and he's rich so im letting him try
layladook girl whyre you a red flag 😭
lion33 my fave color has always been red
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🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . ok so i decided to do like my tweets as the text so it was easier for me to make this + less images uploaded. feel free to tell me if it's better or bad from how i used to do it before. anyways this was funny to write. i love minecraft. i love that max loves minecraft. it's just a bunch of tomfoolery around here also, my birthday is actually on the 8th so lil easter egg lmao ˎˊ˗ ᝰ.
──── 📨 @delululeclerc @hiireadstuff @bicchaan @fallingforpvris @rtorresblog @tribbisweetdear @jamie2305 @mv1simp
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you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡
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solelifauna · 2 days ago
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When you say the love interest might be worse, does that mean "being mean to reader" wise or "being possessive over the reader" wise?
ERMMM...both I'd say. The love interest for the Werewolf AU is Jon Kent. He's about the same age as the reader and older than Damian by one year (From the time-skip space mission that he went on that aged him). But bro, this boy is fucking nuts.
Yes, Kryptonians aren't werewolves in this universe, but Lois Lane is. And a strong one at that, coming from a military family and all that jazz. So Jon Lane Kent is literally one of the strongest beings on earth, being half-kryptonian and half-werewolf.
Now i know what youre thinking.
But wouldn't Jon also be outcasted from werewolf society/wouldn't the bats not like him cause he's a half-blood?
WRONG!!! Yes, Jon is a half-blooded werewolf, but the other half is Kryptonian, one of the strongest species in the universe. If anything, his breeding makes him a very respected figure and the Bats definitely find him worthy. He and Damian are still the best of friends.
Now Jon's relationship with (Y/n). Yikes. Funnily enough, it was (Y/n) who started crushing on Jon first. She'd see him around the manor often, and she'd watch as he interacted with the Waynes or messed around with Damian. From what she could see, he seemed nicer than her family, so maybe she could be friends with him right? Plus, he's super cute!
And of course, this doesn't end well. I mean, this is a dark au. First off, Superman doesn't quite see humans as equals. Werewolves, they have his respect, and all the other races too. Yes, Clark Kent's adoptive parents were humans, and yes he loved them, but they were weak. Fragile even. And he made sure to instill that teaching in Jon as well.
Did Jon love his grandparents? Absolutely, but that meant that Ma and Pa stayed confined to Smallville and their house. They were too weak, they needed to be protected.
Lois also helped push Werewolf culture onto him as well. Weaker werewolves and humans were subservient to the stronger, and if necessary, could be killed and eaten. Jon didn't quite get the eating part, finding it quite gross actually, until he had his first taste of flesh. And, yikes, the boy was hooked.
In his mind, humans were either things to be taken care of (like pets) or food.
What's even more scary is that he's sweet around his family and friends, but those he deems as lesser? Well, let's just hope you don't catch him in a bad mood or piss him off. Which is why when weak, pitiful, abandoned (Y/n) Wayne comes up to him, he's insulted.
Why on earth did you even think you were worthy of talking to him?
Yes, he's seen you watching them, lurking around the manor, keeping your distance. It was quite annoying actually, he could practically hear your heart leaping out of its chest every time you saw him. He knew your intentions, trying to make friends with him.
He just looked down at you, eyes pooling with something nobody could explain, whilst you smiled at him and made small talk. Or tried to make small talk.
"Damian, should I snap her neck? Or is your family still insistent on the old laws?" Jon says.
You freeze, eyes widening in fear. Ah...you've made a severe lapse in judgment.
So much for a new friend.
"You know what? How 'bout I just go?" You quip nervously before trying to run off.
It's too bad Damian grabs you by the back of your shirt, basically choking you in the process. You let out a strangled noise as your body loses balance and lurches backward. When Damian lets go, your having a mad coughing fit, trying to get as much air as you could into your lungs.
Damian only makes an annoyed sound while Jon watches, a sick type of glee in his eyes. "When the time comes friend, you may feast with us. Now (Y/n), apologize to Jon."
You do not even have to think twice about that. "I'm sorry-I'm sorry! I shouldn't have approached you, I'm sorry." And at this point, you're crying. (reader is 14 when this happens)
And god doesn't that make Jon smile. He wouldn't deny, that you were pretty (I mean, you do have half of Bruce Wayne's DNA). But as much as he'd consider coveting you, you weren't worth that honor, no, he'd much rather taste your sweet, sweet flesh. (He could practically smell it wafting off you).
But alas, he'd have to wait.
But of course, in normal yandere fashion, he goes from wanting to eat you to wanting to eat you. The obsession starts to change around (Y/n)'s 16th birthday party that the Waynes throw. It's customary that all children do some public ball or whatever, so this was yours. Jon and his family are there obviously, and you're there as well, looking as miserable and tired as usual (and still somehow being the most beautiful thing in the building). However, he sees you light up in a way he's never seen you do before when your (what he's guessing) friends show up. They're human. They're weak, like you.
Seeing you interact with them, hearing you talk normally(super-hearing, duh) without fear, watching the way you laughed...He realizes he wants. And he wants bad.
Looks like you've got a new problem now.
Anyways, this is all I got!! I don't want to spoil the story more than I already have, but yeah, say hello to "absolutely bonkers Jon Kent". Hope you enjoyed!!!
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iichfilwypj · 3 days ago
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she's the one | percy jackson
ღ percy jackson x daughter of hypnos! reader ღ warnings: panic attack! i wanted this to be different but i got one while writing it, so so sorry! i will post the others ideas i had though. ღ wc: 608 pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - pt 5
“Can we please go inside? I’m starting to feel like part of the door.” Percy murmured, leaning against the doorframe of his house. His friend paced anxiously around the empty hallway and he couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh, feeling a mix of concern and impatience for her. “We’ve been out here for ten minutes. The sooner we go inside, the sooner you’ll stop feeling-”
“'I'm dying, please” she exclaimed, a note of panic creeping into her voice. Percy watched her friend come to a sudden stop, clutching her chest tightly like she wanted to stop her heart from racing. “Please, I just need a second-”
“Dreamy?” his voice was almost a whisper. Thinking about her having a panic attack overwhelmed him. No, he couldn’t let her go through that. He found himself looking at her a bit longer than usual –easy work– to make sure he was wrong.
“I just… need a second,” she repeated, her breath faster than usual. Percy could feel the tension in the air.
He stepped closer and took her wrists tightly, trying to get her to stop pressing her chest so hard. “Stop doing that, we don't want a broken rib. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise you”
“I don’t know why I’m so worried,” luckily, her breathing slowed down under his touch and she let out a frustrated laugh “she must be just like you.”
It was evident that sleep was taking over her, no matter how much she tried to fight it –after all, it wouldn’t make a good impression on Sally to find her son’s friend asleep at her door.
It was so hard not to, though. Percy radiated a warmth that melted her defenses. The urge to sleep hit her hard whenever she was near him. And she felt so bad about it; what kind of person was always tired around their friend? Beth's words echoed in her ears, loud and clear: ‘The more comfortable we feel with someone, the sleepier we get.’ She hadn't understood it the first time. Nor had she really tried to.
But right there, everything clicked into place. She felt secure. She felt at peace. She felt safe. With her head resting on Percy’s chest and his hands holding her, she felt at home.
He hugged her properly, and she didn’t have the strength to return the embrace; but a soft smile spread across her face as she nestled against his jacket. She let herself be vulnerable, surrendering to the solace he offered.
“Should I take that as a compliment or not? I‘m kinda worried here.” maybe it was a bit selfish, but he couldn't help it; he needed to know what she truly thought of him. The girl’s body felt heavier in his arms, and he was almost fully supporting her full weight.
A bad thing? she thought, how could that be a bad thing? In a world fulled with chaos, he was her safe haven, the one who brought her calm.
"I wish everyone would be like you." she murmured, and with those words, she fell into a deep sleep, her body relaxing completely against him. Percy was left speechless holding her tightly, not able to process what had just happened. 
The front door finally opened, revealing Sally with Estelle asleep in her arms. Her face lit up at the sight in front of her. When her eyes met his son’s, he showed no signs of embarrassment at being caught in such a position. Instead, he grinned widely, mouthing a silent ‘It's her,’ in her direction. ‘She's the one’.
well hello! as i said, this didn't go as planned BUT i think we can see more of her feelings now! we're getting closer to something! let me know if you like it!!!!!!!!! also i PROMISE i will try not to make her so anxious next time, it's just that i have anxiety and i can't help but wirite from my perspective; but i will work on that!
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beef-brisket · 3 days ago
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Charlie: Is that why Adam is limping?
Adam wanted to jump into the fire.
Lucifer: Oh- uh- yeah, love. He stubbed them really bad, he's basically got no toes left!
Charlie gasps: Oh no! Adam! Are you okay!?
Adam finally stood after getting a good flame going, he won't jump in, he doesn't want to traumatize Charlie.
He smiled and "walked" over to Charlie.
Adam: I'm fine, darling. Would you like a small piece of cake and a hot drink? It's a little chilly today.
Charlie beamed: Yes please! Can I have raspberry tea!?
Adam: Of course you can! I'll just go pick some
Charlie bounced excitedly in her seat as Adam put on his boots and coat. Lucifer noticed that Adam forgot his basket. Little minx.
Lucifer: Oops! Looks like Adam forgot his basket, will you be able to watch over the house until I get back, Charlie?
Charlie: Yes Dad!
Lucifer: good girl, I won't be long!
Adam went out to his berry bushed and started picking. He won't need many for Charlie's tea. She usually only drinks two cups. With the wind blowing, he doesn't hear the door open and close, or the footsteps in the snow.
He jumps as he feels a hand around his waist. He smiles when Lucifer comes around, and puts his basket on the ground.
Lucifer: Thought you'd need that.
Adam: I need something~.
Lucifer blushed as Adam pulled him into a soft kiss. He left himself instantly warm when Adam's lips moved along his.
Lucifer was freezing by the time he got back inside. He was kissing Adam for a little too long.
Charlie: Hi daddy!
Oh no.
Lucifer: H-Hi- sweety
New au!
Adam's a soldier in the royal guard. He was sent to an orphanage by his mother and was taken in by the kingdom, with the sole purpose of being a soldier.
He's been in two long-term relationships, Eve for 6 years and Lilith for 8. He was with Eve since he was 14, then a few months after their break up, he met Lilith, and they were together for 8 years.
Both Eve and Lilith cheated on Adam.
Because of the stress of being in the guard, the abuse he suffered growing up, and being betrayed by the only two people he ever cared about, he reached a breaking point. Lilith cheating and moving away to be with her new partner (Lucifer), made Adam break down.
He used to hate killing and was moved from being a soldier to a guard. But after Lilith, he returned to being a soldier and started killing people for fun. Taking his anger out on the innocents.
After five years, Lucifer is begging Lilith to stay with him and Charlie, but she's not interested. She never wanted to be a mother or for her to stay with Lucifer long term. So she leaves. Lucifer is heartbroken, but he tries to be there for his daughter.
A day later, their town is raided, Lucifer tries to escape with Charlie, but there was so much blood, and every house and business were on fire. So, he just ends up going around in circles.
Until he sees a gaint, bloody solder walking out of the fire towards him. The flames make his eyes glow gold.
Lucifer holds Charlie tight as he shakes with fear. This man looks like a monster. He is a monster. The man's glaive dripping with blood as he slowly makes his way towards them.
The man speaks.
Adam: Where. Is. Lilith?!
Luicfer: W-what?
Adam: Lilith!? Where is she!!
Lucifer flinched and held Charlie close, the poor girl was close to tears.
Lucifer: She's not here! Lilith left months ago.
Adam cursed and kicked a nearby rock, that fucking bitch! Got out when the getting was good and before Adam could exact his revenge. If anyone deserved his blade in their neck it was her.
Adam: Where can I find her?
Lucifer: I don't know! Honest! Please just..... Let us go!
Adam: No.
Adam was going to kill them that day. He truly believes he was going to. But something inside of him stopped him.
Instead, he took Lucifer and Charlie as his prisoners of war.
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nicosraf · 2 hours ago
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It's my birthday! And Angels Before Man's second birthday from the original publishing! And almost three years since the original draft of it! Wow! Thank you all a million times for being here. Really, genuinely
I'd like for this extremely long post to be happier ! But a lot of people are really troubled by the United States election. There's a lot of fear-mongering online about what'll happen and a lot of real threats to marginalized people in the U.S. and abroad. I don't talk about my own identities a ton. I'm a gay, trans, Mexican from the US-Mex border. The vast majority of my family, community, and friends are immigrants of varying legal statuses. I could lose everything!! I fear for my family! My friends! For my body and my heart!
My mom called me yesterday morning, though, basically asking for an explanation. She told me she was shocked, she was scared, and I said that so was I, then we said, "Pos ni modo." Ni modo!! Oh well!!! What can we do now? We can keep doing what we've always done. Survive. That's all you really have to do at the end of the day, you know, survive.
My family is from a rough Mexican city that fell apart when I was little, a place where my own family has been kidnapped and bodies have been left mutilated in the street for everyone to see. The radio spoke in code to let you know not to go outside when things got really bad. There used to be mariachis in the street to greet American tourists but by the time I was little, they were mostly gone. Boarded up, abandoned stores and boarded up, abandoned homes. I remember being scared, and I remember not knowing what to do listening to a shoot out right outside. I remember my heart stopping when my family was stopped by the soldiers and they demanded money out of us for the first time.
(And I can talk also about living on the other side. The hyper policing, ICE, the racism when my school played against other schools, my parents forbidding me from speaking Spanish outside our Mexican enclave and to stay close to them, and I can talk about the aggression from the white nuns at my catholic school toward the latino kids, I can talk about having to see the border patrol every day just to go to school, I can even talk about Trump-supporters coming down to the border and making a mess of the place and I can talk and I can talk but why? what for??)
My family is all (mostly) still around. I'm here also. We're still here. All of that horrible stuff happened and is still happening to us y ni modo!! Ni modo ! The fight continues. You'll be fine if you allow yourself to be, and if you're not, then you really gave it your best shot, and the people around you will see that you did.
I know for a lot of people there might be the urge to spiral into doom and grieve, but you don't need to borrow the grief of the future. Today you can get up and roll up your sleeves and clean the house. That's what my parents tell me to do when I'm sad. Ponte a limpiar. Ponte a trabajar. I used to get mad at them for it, but in the end, you're only in charge of yourself and the places/things that you upkeep.
I was raised around nopales (prickly pear cacti) and, many years ago, I threw one out of my parent's house because I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't want it. I figured it'd get eaten by something or die somehow. The nopal started growing instead, and it's still there. It even grew a flower, though it hasn't given us a pear yet. My dad doesn't like the pears/tuna but my mom does, so we went out to check on it and while we were there, we heard a bird singing. He looked up and he told me it was a cenzontle and that it was singing a little song for the nopal. I had this thought about how even though I basically tried to kill it, the nopal was growing, thriving. it's an easy metaphor to make, but the earth gives you simple lessons sometimes.
(The monarchs pass by every year. They don't even do it legally. They cut the border line and don't wait their turn to talk to the Customs guys!!! They just fly overhead then look back at us like we're crazy. How can we explain this to them? How do I tell them that there's a place that hates us both)
All you have to do is survive. Whatever happens to me or my family or my friends, we will find a way to grow and find birds to sing along with. If there's so much grief in the future, then we can grieve when that time comes. In other words, canta y no llores. All you have to do is survive. Take it hour by the hour. Pick up the broom and get to work while you can.
Because I've talked too much, I wanted to remind everyone that my ebooks versions of my writing will always be free to read.
Maybe it'll come as a shock to you that a lot of ABM was about coping with losing a home forever, of remembering the feeling of wall paint that you will never feel again. But it's about survival too. I hope you all take care of yourselves as much as we can. This isn't a sad post! Go out and enjoy what you have! Go for a snack. Protect yourself however youre able to. I'm so lucky to have a birthday, to have lived this long. I hope my work will live on no matter how much the world might despise it. I've survived this far despite the world too, and so will ABM... I hope ! :)
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everyonewooeverywhere · 17 hours ago
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Can you do jongho or yunho soft thoughts please? Like them comforting you while you’re really sad or after you have a panic attack or something:)? (I’ve been stalking your account bad sorry if you’re sick of me LOL)
of course i can 🤭 (also if you need/want a comforting jongho fic this is one of my favorite things i've ever written)
i really think jongho would be such a comforting partner.
would totally be the kind of guy to try and cheer you up rather than just let you cry in his arms (though if that's what you need he will certainly oblige). i like to imagine that you're both out together and you've been having a really rough week, but you wanted to make this date work because you two hadn't gone on one in a while. but you're mind is just a million other places. so he takes you to your favorite bakery and/or coffee spot. he'll sit you down at one of the tables and squeeze your hand before he leaves you to go order. and you can't help but just sit there staring at your hands and zoning out. you're happy to be here with him, you really are! but it's just been a really long week and you miss your bed.
you break out of your little daze when he grabs your hand and slides your drink into it. in a to-go cup. you look up at him confused "i thought you wanted to eat here." you glance down at the paper page that you can only assume houses your treats. he slides his free hand into your free hand and runs a thumb over your knuckles. "you're tired. we can eat these at home. maybe change back into our pj's and watch a movie"
and if you even try to protest because you knew he wanted to do this today. he'll shake his head and reassure you that he doesn't want to do anything but spend time with you. and if he knows you're going to feel overwhelmed and exhausted when you're out of the house, he'd rather snuggle up on the couch with you any way.
(and oh my gosh i will never get sick of you i promise 😭 actually the message you left on my taglist form was so sweet and i think about it a lot. i try really really hard to keep my writing as inclusive as possible so it's always nice to hear i'm doing it well ☺️💗 so i'm glad you're able to enjoy my blog)
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Ok. Shit.
I get the feeling I'm not gonna sleep tonight, and who knows, I might regret this tomorrow but I need to get some thoughts out.
I've tried to retain this idea that most people are inherently good. Some of this is the remnants of whatever religious faith I was brought up in, and some of it is just what I tell myself to stay sane. It's getting harder to think that way, but I am trying to hold on to it.
There's this image I keep replaying in my head. My dad and I were visiting family down south shortly after he had wrapped up his cancer treatment. We stopped by my aunt's house in South Carolina, and she told me with tears in her eyes about how she had started gardening again after my dad's diagnosis. There was a Trump flag flying from her roof.
On another visit to the same family members, we were visiting a college and walked by a gender neutral bathroom. My uncle made some off-color joke about it and then quickly moved on when nobody laughed. My sister (a sort of closeted trans woman) looked at me with an expression of both deep sadness, and whatever face you make when you watch a bird fly head-first into a window.
My point is, I know these people aren't filled with hatred and malice. It's not constructive to waste your energy hating them when their greatest sin is ignorance.
I barely remember the Obergerfell decision, but I remember being in middle school around the time it happened. Attitudes towards queer people weren't great, but they changed so rapidly that I barely noticed. Maybe the fact that this was when I realized I was queer gave me a false sense of security when it came to the "moral arc of the universe", or maybe it's the example I have to hold onto about how fast things can change.
It's easy for people to fall into patterns of hate when they lack exposure, and the media landscape right now is making easier to avoid that sort of exposure. The basis of the fight against extremism is education, and I think it has to also be compassion.
Don't get me wrong, I also have family that are more than likely not worth the effort ("they" control the weather and all that), but those aren't most people. Most people are exhausted by politics. They see the price of groceries and vote for the other guy regardless of who's name is on the ballot. Or they're like a classmate of mine, who didn't really like either candidate and was having trouble just voting for the "better" one.
If anything, I guess this is a reminder to myself to hold on to empathy despite everything. It's fine to feel angry. Hell, it's probably good if it gets you moving. But we cannot respond to dehumanization with more dehumanization.
I'm not really all that religious anymore, but I hold on to some things. One of them is this: All things, by virtue of being crafted by God's hands, have value. Or, as my dad said it "God don't make no shit". This goes for yourself, as well as everyone else. I can't let myself lose that right now.
I don't want to belabor my point too much, but I do want to say that I saw people saying things like "it's all over if trump wins". I'm not going to lie, it's bad and people are going to get hurt and die because of this. America was waiting for the results of it's biopsy and we found out it's cancer... but we're not dead yet. I don't have a specific action I can advocate for, but please, don't give up. Authoritarianism is a longstanding wound on this country and it festers in apathy.
Take a deep breath. Regardless of what happens, time moves forward and the sun will rise in the morning. I am going to go to work, make some dinner, and hopefully find some way to work volunteering into my schedule.
Recommended listening if you want to cry right now
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edensgaia · 22 hours ago
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Kaboodle [talking about Zam]: "We're not similar because we both have bloodlust, we/re similar because we both get– we both get picked on by the strongest people on the server, and fuck I wasn't any better. I'm not any better. If I'm picking on Zam too man, it's the same shit Mane did to me. What's the point, right?"
Kaboodle: "I'm a lot more similar to Zam than I thought I was, but not, you know... not because of who he once was."
Kaboodle: "[Reading chat] 'It comes full circle' Yep, I guess so! I guess so. [Laughs at the messages in the game chat] But, listen, I need to re-evaluate my goals a bit cuz yeah, it's fun, it's fun blowing stuff up, I agree, it's fun putting people in bad situations where they have to make tough choices and I enjoy all of that, but... doing that to Zam... It's not– It's not the morality of the situation that I wanna, you know, reconsider, cuz there's definitely some people that fucking deserve it, and... maybe some people that don't that I would still do it to anyway because it's fun, but... Zam's a weird case, cuz... he's... he's like me. He's like me. I don't know he... he's being harassed for weaknesses by Mane and– and Wemmbu and Flame. Which is the same shit Mane did to me. I don't think I quite realized that until he said it yesterday about why he does this stuff and why he's like this.
"[...] Yeah, it's uh, it's a weird situation chat, cuz it's like, I really enjoy fucking with Zam, I really do, but– it's not right. And beyond being not right, that I'm not willing to do, because it's literally just the same shit that I've been fighting against, and now I'm just– it's just generational bullying, that's what it is, it's just– Mane bullied me, I'm taking it out on Zam, and... the cycle never's gonna end if I keep doing that. Out of everyone, Zam is the last person to deserve that at all, honestly. And I need to solve that, I need to stop it, because right now, he's– you could see his fucking tab list [talking about Zam's skin, wich has one eye that is patched and the other one visibly bloodied], he's having a bad time. I mean he– he's never gonna trust me ever again, but... I guess the best I can do is leave him alone and– get myself in check, because I have other people to deal with.
"I have other people to deal with, I have a ManePear still to deal with, and that should be my priority. I'm not gonna have fun killing Mane but... there isn't a point going after Zam, it's just... he's just like me, and there's no point pilling things on top of each other, I don't know. I still believe that he's got the fucking evil inside of him, I still believe that, and I want to exploit that from him, but... not now. Cuz I wanna do it in a way that's fun, that's enjoyable and... kicking him while he's down makes him more miserable, and it's– it's not fun for me at all, right, what's the point in tearing someone down if you– oh my goodness, wow [looking at the damage done at spawn] Hmm, I did not realize how severe this was, holy shit. Wow. Wow. He's gonna have a rough time with this uh... but that's– that's not my jurisdiction anymore. I– I don't– I don't wanna talk to Zam [laughs] Honestly in any of the lights, I don't wanna speak to Zam, because... I don't know– it's... it's weird– it's– it's a weird thing, because it's like, I don't– I don't... I don't wanna trust people again, uh, like I trusted y'know, the Mice, and Red, but... [laughs] fuck, I don't wanna be alone again. And yeah I have my team, but is my team really a fucking team, are they really a team, let's be so for real.
"[Looking sadly at Zam's destroyed house at spawn] Oh Zam. I don't know. I– I empathize with Zam, I care about Zam more than I probably should, in all honesty. [Looking at spawn] Fuck, this is rough though. But he doesn't want my help and... I gotta respect that. And I don't wanna talk to him either because... he is scary. [Laughs] In all honesty, hes scary, cuz he makes me let my guard down, and I don't like that, so..."
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roguemonsterfucker · 2 days ago
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my browser crashed while i was typing this up and i lost everything so now i'm angry but anyways
on to the smaller complaints
Our main characters meet on a plane and being the possessive werewolf he is, the guy wants to sit next to his mate. He hands his ticket to the man seated beside her and says "take my seat." But... that's not how airplanes work, as far as I know. And even if we accept that it is in this universe, the man didn't give the werewolf his ticket in return.
Still on the plane, our werewolf learns that before he got there, his mate's previous seat-neighbor had stared down her shirt and made some lewd comments (maybe touched her? don't remember). So big possessive angry werewolf man stalks through the plane and drags the man back to in front of her and nearly kills him. On a plane. In front of human passengers who don't know werewolves are real.
We are later told that he was banned from the airline for this, but otherwise he suffers no repercussions and even within the story it feels like the ban is more of an excuse for him to get a private plane later.
Finally leaving the plane, the woman has fallen asleep and so our werewolf man carries her unconscious body off the plane. A man who was just seen assaulting someone carries an unconscious woman off of an international flight.
It's fuzzy to me now but I remember being irritated about the back and forth between the woman and the werewolf. He's kidnapped her and has explained that he's a werewolf and she's his mate and she seems receptive to that. The text doesn't really give us any good reasons she should be unhappy with this, much less reasons why she would attempt to sneak away and escape from him. Which she does. I mean, I have no problem with that action. It's conflict, which is something I want in something called "Kidnapped by my Mate." But the text doesn't justify it very well. Half the time the woman is happily cuddling with him, having no mental struggles with the idea of being with him, and then the other half she's plotting to escape. Make up your mind, ma'am. Please.
Like, again. I have no problem with the character being like "oh I really think I like him but he's holding me captive so I have mixed feelings!" but that isn't the vibe I got. The vibe I got was "oh i love him he's so hot" and then "i need to figure out how to escape him." No in between.
Okay so then they go back to the werewolf's "house" in the US. Previously, they were in a fancy hotel in Paris.
I've posted about this before, but I'll just reiterate. We're seeing this frm the woman's point of view. As the building comes into her view, her mental narration calls it a "house" and then seperately comments that "it looks more like a hotel." Which is like... why? Why not just be like "it looks like a hotel" first? Why would anyone call something they're seeing for the first time a house when it looks like a hotel?
Then they continue to refer to it as a house when... it's not.
I'd have no issue with them calling it "the pack house" since a lot of pack members live there, but just calling it a house feels wrong.
Then of course there is the issue of 500+ pack members living in this "house." Which isn't the entire pack. There are other houses around that have more werewolves living in them, but this particular "house" is the largest, we're told.
The description of this house is such a mishmash of aesthetics and you know it's bad if I notice that. It has marble and wood and is described as having a cabin like aesthetic which... what cabins have marble, babe? Hmm? And pillars? Like... it's wild.
And 500+ pack members living there... Wow. My knee jerk reaction is that it feels excessive. And it bugs me that anyone would call a building that five hundred people live in a "house."
But all that is made worse when our main character wanders the house and says it looks like it is "more than six stories." Which... I would fucking hope so. You need way more than six levels to house that many people. She also notes that it has "more rooms than I can count." And like... I don't know, but those descriptions don't feel right for a place with five hundred people.
Then we get to the room her mate, the Alpha of the pack, lives in. And she compares it to the fucking Paris hotel room. Our Alpha lives in something comparable to a fucking hotel room. You can't aim a bit higher?
Oh and of course since it is basically a hotel, and not like... an apartment building... There's no kitchen. Which becomes an issue.
Later we find out that despite there being 500+ people here and no kitchens in the room, there's no organized meals of any sort. Werewolves just rush into the kitchen and take what they want, basically fighting each other for their food. This is used as a plot point because our poor little human gets growled at for even trying to get a single banana and ends up not eating for two days.
It's clear the author just wanted to use the food as a ployt point and didn't give any thought to two things I personally would consider:
First. In such a large group of people, you need to organize meals somehow. You have to make sure everyone can eat. Especially if you're gonna have werewolves fighting over food.
And secondly, why the fuck are these werewolves growling at their Alpha's mate? It's established that they're supposed to treat her with so much respect that they're not even allowed to say her name, just her title of Luna. And yet they are ready to fight her for food. That doesn't fucking track. Later someone says "don't take it personally, werewolves are possessive" but like... that still doesn't justify growling at the Alpha's mate. You can't have it both ways. Either they respect her or not.
Then later we get two chapters that are basically identical, which drives me nuts since I had to wait six hours between chapters only for two to have the same scene play out, just ending a tad different.
Without getting into the nitty gritty, our main character and werewolf dude are having relationship issues and the woman nearly leaves but then werewolf dude's wolf comes out and is basically begging her to stay despite the human part of him being an ass. The woman decides she had to stay because clearly something weird was up and since the wolf still wanted her, she would try to make things work. Then later, the exact same fight starts again except the wolf doesn't come out and she does leave. But like... then why didn't she just leave the first time? The whole wolf thing isn't brought up again. It was framed as if she would realize something weird was happening and stay because of the wolf but none of that comes up again and she just leaves anyways.
Really it felt like the author was just trying to stretch things out or maybe even just... forgot what they had in mind.
I think that covers my small grievances. Taken individually, I wouldn't give a fuck. It's a fantasy werewolf romance. I don't mind bending reality a bit to tell the story you wanna tell. But everything? No. I can't handle that much in a book that wants me to pay $17 to $60 to read.
And once again, if this were a free work on wattpad or AO3, I wouldn't care. I would maybe laugh to myself a bit but ultimately commend the author for writing the story they wanted to write. It isn't bad if you're looking at it through the lens of someone writing for fun and then letting folks read it for free.
But it's not free. It's on an app trying to force every penny from you.
Someone remind me to rant about the ‘book’ I read where I had to watch six hours to unlock each chapter and 500 werewolves lived together in a ‘house’ and the plot did a 180 halfway through where the entire premise changed.
I finished the book. I have thoughts. But I’m tired so yeah. Remind me.
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lovelaceisntdead · 7 months ago
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depression is the stupidest thing ever. like literally just stop that.
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junonreactor · 3 months ago
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just did all the party sidequests. that was really cute
#i think my favorites personally are bonnie's and beau's#bonnie's because they're such a good kid and it's so fun to see the 'reveal' for not just sif's eye but the awkward distance between them#and sif's heartfelt shouting when it comes to bonnie's safety and the unquestioning acceptance of any personal cost if it means#they can keep the kid safe and alive#and how that changes the nuance a bit specifically regarding their eye when it comes to the way they avoid their problems#and also how the ''i would do it again and again and again'' and ''what's the alternative? my friends getting hurt?''#vs bonnie's ''but i don't want you to get hurt for me''/''you think you're better than everyone and you jump in because you don't think#it matters that you get hurt'' reflects on the overall looping situation#and it's going to be fun to see that super duper promise broken because Bonnie Won't Know#and like with all of the quests but this one specifically it'll suck so bad for siffrin to do these over and be able to Zone Out#''you don't want to have to loop back to before you spent that time with them''#and loop's dialogue when i went back to talk to them before beau's + their ''isn't that nice?'' ohhh i want to be right about them being a#future/parallel sif so bad. i want the ''if i were you i would just spend all my time in the House getting stronger'' thing to have made#this sif's spending time with their friends and having them come out stronger for it hurt in a complicated way#especially with the ''i don't think about your friends. i don't look at them. i don't worry about that. how are YOU stardust'' like i am SO#anyway. and beau's GIRL HELP ME#I WAS PLAYING ON ANOTHER TAB. SIF WHEN I HIT ''ATTACK'' I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD HAVE A SNEAK ATTACK ONCE#START THE FIGHT EARLY SITUATION. NOT THAT.#oh neat that was like. a mini loop. can we do that on command now or was that scene like. not technically a loop ?#tristesse is distracted...i know the sadnesses appearing on new floors now is a thing. as remnants how are they affected by loops...#help. the new memory. is that a sif thing or a sadness thing. [remembers the 'ghosts'] could be both ! lmao#ein babbles#isat blogging#the last 10 of my drafts are screenshots and reactions because i want to go back and look at them#i really need to do that thing where you make your own discord channel#i will also say. it was really funny how they had siffrin sort of suggest that you take this party with you all the way to the end without#looping. because that's what i usually do anyway because i'm inefficient but enjoy the grind and looking for new dialogue#and then immediately the game was like. BUT. this time you gotta pay attention and make sure siffrin's not a freak who weirds out your part#like oh ! ok !#kicking my feet behind me twirling my hair calling loop heyyyyyyy bestie what the fuck
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la0hu · 1 month ago
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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god
#p#i'm actually sick of making room for people like this#it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7#would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize#which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation#it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw#and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that#it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem#the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice#sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to#i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong#she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care#she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit#i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up#because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview#but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones#but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related#maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community#have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness#you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it#even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself
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runawayfuture · 2 months ago
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concept art for my AU where the church lets House Gautier hold on to the dragon sign in case they didn't have a kid with a Crest and so Miklan doesn't get kicked out and he loves his little brother and everything is Fine Actually
#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#fire emblem 3 houses#fe3h#miklan anschutz gautier#miklan#miklan gautier#my art#pencil sketch#he doesn't use the dragon sign usually because it gives him headaches and nightmares#(nabatean stuff is Weird and not really compatible with humans!!)#but if he needs to pick it up for like a border skirmish/invasion or a formal event where they want to show off‚ it's safe for him to use#when sylvain is home miklan hands the lance off to him asap bc it's less weird if you have the actual crest rather than just the dragon sign#he prefers to use an axe (i'm thinking fortress knight for his class given that he has pretty heavy armor in game + bulky physique)#also he doesn't have the scar here bc i figured that happened either when he got kicked out or in a bad fight while he was a bandit#though i might put it back and say he got it while defending the border#not sure yet. the au is still in the early stages of development lol#anyway he and sylvain are SIGNIFICANTLY less fucked up and traumatized here bc their parents didn't treat miklan like trash#so he had no reason to get jealous of sylvain so he didn't abuse him and try to kill him multiple times when they were kids 😅#sylvain still has some crest baby issues but not nearly as much bc less crest-related trauma + emotional support from miklan#their parents still suck ass but having an older sibling who's on your side is way different from one who abuses you and then disappears#i also think miklan and glenn were friends in this au#... i wonder if ingrid's parents would have betrothed her to miklan instead after glenn died#haha ingrid. you are engaged to my brother#though idk if they would want to introduce a different crest to the family given that the lance is specifically for the crest of gautier#maybe they'd figure that having one parent with crest blood increases the chance of a different crest kid#because we know crests can skip generations so maybe miklan has latent crest blood that could manifest in his children#that would be an au to think about... if miklan found a wife and had a kid b4 conand tower and the baby had the crest of gautier?#and he came back like FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE ME BITCHES UR GRANDSON HAS A FUCKING CREST!!#beep
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liinos · 3 months ago
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i'm in my i don't want to watch anything and nothing is hitting right era which is my least favorite to be in
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tethrras · 5 months ago
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how i feel knowing i've spent the last 6 months convincing myself that he likes me even though it could not be clearer to me now that he absolutely does not
#i'm not even upset i'm more just annoyed i've spent so much time and energy on#being nice to him and supporting him and getting into his interests and hanging out w him#and not only does he not like me but he can't even treat me nicely#like he's actively hostile and aggressive with me#who else remember when he said he loves me ridiculously. who else remember when he told me#a list of all the reasons he used to have a crush on me without me asking#who remember when he used to walk across rooms past everyone else to come talk to me#and once did it about 10 times in a rehearsal#fuck my life. i can't believe this is where this has gone lmao#it's like. i don't think he's a bad person and i do think he loves me and cares about me#he would not spend... 11 hours at my house if he did not#but he does not behave in a way that makes me feel loved and cared for and i think that matters#if it was my choice i would probably choose not to be friends with him anymore#but at this point he has told me so much and sees our relationship as so intimate and vulnerable#that i don't think i can end the friendship without deeply upsetting him#lol. this is why i need to go missing but like consensually#i need to go somewhere for a year and live my best life and not have to worry about#being guilty about ghosting people or not talking to them. lol#okay. well whatever i'm quite upset and bummed out and don't know what to do#but tbh it's worth putting up w him being mean to me to get his lore bc i love studying him like a bug.#so yenno what i have nothing to complain about actually#maia.txt
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liazrad · 6 months ago
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GRRRRR I HATE IT HERE I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD AND STEPMOM IT'S THE WORST!!!!! I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.
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