#I'm just gonna sleep
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#the depression is kicking in again (it never left) its so over for me AGAIN#oh my god#i am so tired i can't get anything done and my moods have been horribly unstable lately#i just wanna be normal and happy??#anyways... i'll get the reqs done soon i swear :(#i am just going to assume that this is happening because my period is soon...#i really do use this place as some venting diary sometimes IM SORRY :(#i'm just gonna sleep#ruru rambles
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Act 1 of the fic is complete and now I'm working on the second act. Once that's done, I'm gonna take a break and release the first act on tumbl and ao3. As for now, I'm only three chapters in for the second act so that'll take a while.
#i have the first few chapters done too#i'll be releasing a sneak peak soon#as for right now#i'm just gonna sleep#i'm fucking exhausted#fanfic#fanficton#fanfic writers#fanfics#dmc#devil may cry#devil may cry 5#dmc5#dmc oc#mbav#my babysitters a vampire#my babysitter's a vampire#oc#original character#video games#games#disney#fandom
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Possible trigger warning under the cut (definite breakdown and maybe some other things I didn't realise)
Vent under cut:
Today started mostly. Well. I haven't slept yet so suppose yesterday started normal. Any way. This morning my mum and I went to a run/walk. A sort of training for a marathon. That part's not particularly important.
Afterwards I had my psychiatrist's appointment so we go to pick up my dad and go to her's. Of course I'm sweaty and my mum thinks I should change my shirt because I'm sweaty. I don't think I need to but I agree because she wants me to. So I tell her I'll change in the car.
This part is the first step to my breakdown.
She says that it's okay since I have a sports bra underneath. I tell her (ask?) why it matters. We talk s little about that. I think it's okay to change (fuck, I'm crying again) as long as you do it in the car. ("It takes a minute, anyway.") My mum disagrees and we argue (not rudely) and my mum says "I always think you've grown and matured and then you say things like that."
(And fuck, if that didn't hurt and break my heart.)
Anyway, I'm mad (not really, just heartbroken she would ever say that, like that) that she's said that but I stay quiet. By that time we're home. (Sometimes I doubt it's truly my home, but anyway.) She confirms I'm staying in the car and leaves. A few minutes later (of internally overthinking it) she and my dad comes out. We talk about a few things the three of us. Now I don't remember if this is while we're at the car, after or after we're inside the building. But either I tell her I'm mad at her for telling me that. (She doesn't even remember what she said to make me so, which makes me truly mad. Though not raging. Just. Angry.)
We don't talk much about it at that time and my psychiatrist (a very kind woman that I like) comes, saying she'll talk with my parents. I'm left alone to my thoughts for a while.
A while later they come back and she takes me to talk. It goes well.
Afterwards in the car I explained to them what we talked about. We come home, again nothing truly important happens.
The 2nd or the 3rd (the 2nd is probably telling her I'm mad, to be honest) happens after I arrive home.
I come home. I unleash my dog and set her free. The door rings, it's my mother. I let her in of course.
A few minutes pass as I wash my hands and etcetera.
I come to the living/dining room. My mother sits in her chair. I, again, tell her I'm mad.
She says "I didn't say anything bad. I never said you couldn't study overseas (or whatever, I'm translating) or," she says some more that I don't quite remember. (Even if it's been less than 10 minutes.) I answer with "I don't get why underwear is so bad, people go around with less!" I say, like (and I'm sobbing as I write this) a fucking idiot. She easily answers with. "Underwear. Exactly. No matter what you can't do go out in underwear. Underwear can't show. They might be showing more skin, it doesn't matter as long as underwear isn't visible." My heart takes another hit. I'm not yet on the verge of crying. But I'm certainly getting closer.
I don't know if I said anything right now but it's quite likely. She continues on. "Your grandmother told me, and I didn't see this but, she told me you do/did (I sit mostly with my legs open and most of the time with one of them in the air, she showed a version of it with body language.) this when a neighbour came. And men, or women it doesn't matter, some you don't know; a stranger comes into the house or whatever you don't do this. Your grandmother asked me(us?) 'Have you never told/Do you never tell her how to act nicely?" And [my name], you sit nicely. You are a young woman now."
And by now I am already sad, most likely on the verge of tears. But it is nothing next to her next words. She shatters my heart with them:
"Normal- well, I would say 90... 99% of [nationality] people would agree that you don't do that. That's not what a young woman does."
And out of everything, that slip at the start was the thing that broke me, shattered my heart the most.
Of course, as soon as she told me that I was on the move. Slowly mind you, I was barely holding back my son's and cries and didn't want her to be suspicious. I went to the kitchen. Got me a "drink". (It was less than 70ml, I'm sure. I don't mean alcohol, more that it was far too little to be considered anything more than a sip.) And by that time my tears were already slowly flowing and I basically flew to my room after that.
I closed my room door and almost immediately started sobbing. Of course, I know how to sob, how to cry silently. So that wasn't a problem.
You see if you have never seen me before and even if you have you might not know that I have a disorder. ADHD. (The reason I go to the psychiatrist.) And that is a big reason why that "normal" affected me a lot more than it might've other people.
Of course, I had a breakdown that lasted a little close to 10 minutes but not quite. I'm definitely better now but I may still go in a crying fit if you get what I mean. Still sensitive. Raw.
Anyway. During my breakdown I just cried and searched up a few things ranging from "Why does society have so many rules" (1 time) to "Why can't I be normal" (4 times) and "I just want to be normal" (12 times).
Fun times.
Anyway, make fun of my shit if you please, would probably make me cheer up a little even if I see it like in 4 weeks.
#adhd vent#personal vent#vent post#vent#i just want to be normal#why can't i just be normal#why does society have so many rules#sometimes#i hate life#y'know?#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#breakdown#i wanna cry#crying#sobbing#i feel so much better#but also not at all#I'm just gonna sleep#maybe#make fun of my dumb shit please
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I'm gonna go insane. What the fuck do I do when I don't have the energy to even draw anymore.
#nobody wants to talk to me. i can't bring myself to draw or play a game. not of my interests are helping. what ever#I'm just gonna sleep
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I saw someone say a while ago that Jason attacking Tim at Titans Tower was just Tim hallucinating bc he was feeling guilty about being Robin even though Jason's not dead. Which is great, amazing, I think the whole Titans Tower thing is Bonkers, but I think it would be so much funnier if Jason tried to Gaslight Tim into believing the Titans Tower incident never happened, not because he's like evil, he's just super embarassed about it. like Or Tim did actually hallucinate Jason at TT but thinks it was real, so when he tells Jason about it, Jason's so fucking confused, and Tim thinks Jason's Gaslighting him
Tim: Remember that time when you broke into Titans Tower and beat me half to death while wearing a Robin costume from party city
Jason: What? Tim, I know i'm crazy, but I'm not...Insane.
Tim, pulling down his collar: I literally have the scar to prove it
Jason: Bruce told me that was from Clayface pretending to be me, which, might I just say rude. Tim... are you ok? Did you hallucinate me attacking you? like, I know I've done that before, but...
Tim, frowning: I don't think I hallucinating. I was benched for a while after because I had to recover-
Jason: well, you were benched around the time I was dropping hints that I knew who Bruce was outside of Batman, he probably just benched you to keep you safe. You probably were working too many cases with too little sleep and your imagination started to run wild.
Tim: Are you gaslighting me?
Jason: Are you gaslighting me?
#jason todd#tim drake#titans tower#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#schrodinger#they argue about it for eternity#but neither of them check the footage#because they think the argument's so silly#they also never ask Bruce#it would be so easily solved#but if they ask somone they're someone's gonna get in big trouble#Bruce: Jason why are you gaslighting Tim?#Bruce: Tim you need to get more sleep or I'm benching you#Jason honestly doesn't remember a lot from his fresh back to gotham era because he just represses it#so he really doesn't know either#and he's scared to know if it's actually true or not
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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)
I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c
Part Two:
Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D
Aaaand Part Three:
'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...
Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl yellow cat#this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it#the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles#look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles#that's just science#the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess#only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion#they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO#someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having#today is not that day#today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be#(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys#EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again#fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao#EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC#i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*
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Danny was tired, like 'I feel it in my bones and soul' tired. And he didn't want sleep at home because there's only so many nights, he could spend lying awake making sure his heart was beating in case his parents checked on him.
Currently he was flying aimlessly not really taking in his surroundings, but he could neither sleep while flying or fly forever. Normally he'd sleep over at Sam or Tucker's, but the Mansons had made it clear that he wasn't welcome at their house anymore and Tucker was grounded. Both would sneak him in if he asked, but he didn't want them to get in trouble for him. Which leads him to decide between his two choices, sleeping in a graveyard, or sleeping in a forest.
The graveyard was a little crowded with all the ghosts that called it home but he could probably find a quiet spot to sleep. The forest had a great view of the stars but was filled with traps from both his parents and the GIW after tracking his ecto-signature. Both options weren't appealing, but he wasn't about to chance sleeping on the roof of his house again. There were too many ghost detecting guns attached to it now. Danny sighed, graveyard it was, at least the ecto from all the shades/ghosts would hide him well enough. Decision made, now all he had to do was make his way over there. But first, where the heck was he? Danny looked around at the unfamiliar grey sky and gargoyles littered around and realized he had no clue where he was. He must have flown too far away from Amity without noticing...Again. It was really becoming a bad habit. Danny stared down at the city's inhabitants that were going home or heading to nightshifts or whatever and dreaded the long flight back to his town. And maybe it was ghost instinct, or maybe it was just his exhaustion. But his brain suggested 'What if I just possess someone?' And to him that seemed like a perfectly logical train of thought. He wouldn't control their body or anything, just sleep in their skin...That did not make it sound better at all. Before he could think twice, someone left a general store, arms filled with stuff and somehow projecting an aura of safety. The two thoughts of 'They look comfy' and 'screw it' clashed together in his head as he made the very stupid decision of performing a swan drive right into the someone. "WHAT THE-" "Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning I just need to sleep" Danny cut off the persons freakout-he should really get their name at some point- he would have explained more but the sleep gods had already done their job. This left one very confused, scared, and freaked out Batkid.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#I don't know which batkid it should be#I'm thinking Dick or maybe Stephenie#I feel like Steph would be the most chill about a ghost using her body as a sleeping bag#Cass and her just straight up adopt the tired ghost boy who talks in his sleep and says the most distressing things#Bruce didn't even have a chance#Danny is gonna be so confused when he wakes up
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ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra
#this art hurts so bad#in a way i'd never be able to explain#also it just upsets me a lot because i don't like how i did it:(#idk how to make it better so i'm just gonna leave it as it is#and go to sleep good night#it was supposed to be cool and simple just like that#but in my eyes it's just missing everything and i don't know how to fix it#genuinely thought it was gonna be a good art but here i am oh well. that happens i guess#im sorry javier :(( i'll make more good art i promise#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#javier escuella
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Another link to this post. Meet the parents style.
So, Danny and Jason have been fake dating for a while now, and ended up marrying each other solely for tax benefits. Also, they got cool ass fucking friendship rings that they just couldn't not wear everywhere and being married is convenient so...
Anywho, so Jason has met Danny's parents but Danny hasn't met Jason's parents. Danny knows that he has some ties with the vigilantee scene due to being a Crime Lord-he still doesn't know what to think of his parents connecting the dots immediately when they only met him once while it took him more than that while living with the guy.
He thinks Jason may have been an ex-vigilantee at some point before turning to crime.
Then Danny gets blinded by rich people aura when he finds out that his bestfriend is the long thought dead child of Bruce Wayne. Frankly, he's insulted.
You mean to tell him that his could've been buying ice cream from that high class place all this time!? He shook (literally he grabbed and shook him) that point into Jason, he doesn't care that Jason never told him he was rich but he could've at least bought some high class ice cream once in a while.
Jason who was busy solidifying his power as a crime lord, avoiding his family and making sure not to leak his identity at all: I'm a literal crime lord, and the only thing you care about is me not buying you ice cream?
Danny: YES!!!!
Jason: Dork.
Right anyways, so Jason takes Danny along to meet Bruce and his fam but did say as soon as he started being uncomfortable they're leaving. The batfam is a bit blindsided by Danny, because they thought Jason was bringing his partner but its good to also get a feel for Danny's personality.
Danny and Jason did what's normal for them when Danny starts getting comfortable around the manor full of things that cost waaay more than his rent. Like half-heartedly insulting each other, being snarky, leaning on each other and other such things.
The batfam start thinking that there's more there than they know of. So they start watching a bit closer and ask a few round about questions that fly over Danny and Jason's heads. They just forget they're married often, unless it's regarding taxes.
All of this sends the wrong message when they walk into the same room and, being nosy, one of the batfam comes up to the door and uh. They hear the bed moving quite a lot.
So.
Meanwhile, Jason is trying to wrestle with Danny because this man does not pick a lane. He'll either be the human octopus (who is cold as hell) Jason has ever seen, he'll try to kick him off the bed in his sleep as if Jason personally offended him in some way, or he'll sleep in some wacky position that interrupts Jason's sleep. The last one is tied to the other two, however.
So, Jason has to frequently wrestle this man into a proper position where they both manage to get some sleep and it wouldn't have been so bad if Danny wasn't a goddamn sleep fighter. He would know, he had to nurse a bruised jaw for a few weeks.
Why do they sleep together? Listen, when you're in an apartment with not a lot of money, you gotta cut costs where you can alright?
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#Danny and Jason are platonically married#I'm not gonna put this in the post but I had a random thought of Jack and Maddie meeting Bruce Wayne and they instantly clock him as Batman#It's not even Maddie#Jack just took one look at him and sniffed out something sus until his himbo brain connects the dots to him being Batman#The thing is they managed to find this out with barely any evidence so they think they might be wrong without knowing that they're actually#right#Anyways#Jason is tired of this mfer Danny and how he sleeps#Every time they go to bed Jason walks into their shared bedroom like he's about to wrestle a fucking bear#The batfam think they be fawking but they actually aren't it's just Jason wrestling to get a good night's sleep#Why did I make this?#I have no clue
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Loustat + Hands
S1.E4 ∙ ...The Ruthless Pursuit of Blood with All a Child's Demanding
#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#vampire chronicles#iwtvsource#vcsource#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#userbaz#userlaro#userbess#tusermalina#userisaiah#userarrow#userfaiths#mine#jacob anderson#sam reid#just realised making this that that touch by the coffin was lestat saying i'm gonna sleep with you today#also obsessed with the little dance they are doing
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#matt smith#peter capaldi#ncuti gatwa#karen gillan#arthur darvill#🫡#2 gifsets today to make up for me not being able to make any yesterday!!#i think i'm just only gonna be giffing from the giggle until the christmas special is out lol#ok now do i have time to watch the pjo episodes before going to sleep...#OR do i finish reading the star beast and then start on wild blue yonder#DECISIONS#good night friends!!!
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humor me. imagine if you will. dearest wilson, who is in his mid forties and drunk and having a little mope time because he may be a freak but he's a freak with depression. and he's bemoaning to house about his looks bc he saw an old picture of himself from med school or whatever, like fully being a little loser about it. "i used to be so cute. i had friends that would tease me for being a 'prettyboy'. (little sigh)"
and house is eating this UP because of course they're drinking together, he gets to see wilson be like..... an unserious amount of pathetic. literally not even paying attention to the tv anymore. "do i need to insult you more to fill your quota or something"
"no, no it's not that it's just," and wilson is still present enough to know he's gonna regret showing a weakness to house of all people but whatever. "miss being a pretty face i guess, i dunno"
house (who is NEVER going to let this moment be forgotten holy shit) has to like bite his tongue so he doesn't actually laugh in his face and get him to clam up. "aw, jimmy, (takes wilson's jaw and shakes him a bit like silly dudes do or like when you roughhouse with a dog) you're always a pretty face" and he's teasing of course but also. house is house, and house says some peculiar things regarding wilson so how fr he's being is an absolute mystery
cut to house actually looking at him and wilson is staring right back at him like 🥺 with big big beautiful brown cow eyes which are still kind of unfocused, cheeks a little smooshed where house is still holding his face, the weight of his head in his palm when wilson relaxes a little. "you think i'm pretty? 🥺"
and it's so much house has to avert his gaze. loosens his grip into something a little more soft. "yeah. sure"
#house md#hatecrimes md#hilson#imagery so clear in my head almost don't care if they wouldn't do this#whatever im having fun!! they're like barbies to me#i need more sleep if i type more about them rn i'm gonna be sick#woke up thinking about how rsl was such a little twink#which then went into how wilson has perfected the sad little puppet expression#he was bred for a different kind of pathetic charm than house was#and i think that's just beautiful
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They are so old
#they are so my grandparents#afterdeath#Geno sans#reaper sans#reaper x Geno#Geno x reaper#utmv#sans au#undertale au#sanscest#UwU#had to stop doing requests just bc I wanted to finish this#but I'll be busy again so....(hanging out with friend!!)#I'm gonna go outside!! and touch grass!!#tomorrow. I need sleep rn-
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the wangxian + a-yuan "dads with an adopted son" thing is fine and enjoyable in fanfics honestly but I think we as a fandom are really not utilizing the idea of all of them in unconventional familial structures enough. Like, canonically it wasn't so much that wwx was a-yuan's guardian as that a-yuan was being raised collectively by the wens and wwx was adopted INTO the larger wen family. And lwj got attached to him through that. A-yuan just has these very attached weird uncles/older cousin figures that aren't related to him by blood at all but keep sticking around.
Just think of a modern AU with a lot less death where lwj does as he does in canon and keeps showering a-yuan in gifts as much as he can and when wwx is like "aiyah lan zhan you're gonna spoil him. Not everyone is as rich as you! What's his family supposed to say if they can't buy him all the stuff you do?" lwj just goes "Hm". And from then on out every year once a-yuan's birthday is near the extended Wen family members (well. the ones that are invited that is. No one wants wen chao at a birthday party) wakes up to a wechat payment from lwj.
Random wen cousin number 6 texts granny like
cousin 6: i just got 400 yuan????
granny: oh that's just wangji
cousin 6: i've never met this guy in my life???
granny: he wants you to buy a-yuan a nice birthday present!
cousin 6: how does he know my bank account???
#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#wen yuan#lan sizhui#granny wen#wangxian#i just don't think we're thinking enough about wangxian as nonconventional family to a-yuan enough#lwj leaving early on chinese new year's eve to go to a party over at the wens??? hilarious#wen siblings move in with granny to care for her and help with a-yuan. wwx crashes at their place for months#eventually lwj is there more days than not. the white wash cycle is like 70% his clothes#granny sleeps in the room next to wwx's and once wangxian happens#she sometimes very pointedly goes well!! i'm gonna go to the park!! for about an hour! which means I WON'T BE HERE. *wink*#as always when talking about underrated dynamics i am not hating on anyone for writing what they want. merely exploring concepts i enjoy
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let them rest!!
#arcane#arcane fanart#caitvi#violyn#piltover's finest#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#this took way longer than it should have ajshdk#but i also redrew it three times so i guess it evens out#something still feels off but if i keep working on it i'm gonna start hating it sooo im posting it as is lol#anyway pls let them sleep in s2 im begging#just sketching#and yes i WILL continue to draw vi's bare back every chance i get bc i've realized that i can draw whatever i want
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Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me) ♡
'Gale looks unfairly handsome in the soft golden light of the late evening, but even more unfair is the fact that John can’t just bridge the gap between them and kiss his feelings away. The more time he spends around Gale, the more it feels like he’s being consumed by his overwhelming infatuation, and there’s not a single thing he can do about it that doesn’t involve the risk of scaring the man out of his life.
So he shuts the truck door behind him after promising Gale he’ll text when he’s safe inside, and he tries not to stare too forlornly as the truck putters off down the street and rounds the corner.'
[ AO3 ]
#tough and sweet fic#clegan#so nervous to post this!! been wanting to make this edit since i started this fic and finallllyyy did. i hope it does the boys justice <3#johnslittlespoon edits#buckbucky#feeling so sappy tn over them and how much love i've been so lucky to be shown for this silly little fic that has now taken over my life#i rly am so lucky sooo so lucky i think ab it sm i know it's just fanfic but!!#to have smth that feels so vulnerable to share be accepted with such open arms has truly been healing to me#i'm so very thankful <33 will never take it for granted#dedicated to c and ali for making me giggle and for motivating me endlessly w their kind words <33 sobs#okay gonna go hide back in ch7 doc and/or sleep now so i don't have to perceive being perceived
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