#I'm just gonna die alone and unloved

[schrodingers-blursed-kitty]

.

[paulmccartneyprostateorgasm]

i'm noticing a correlation between working 16 hour shifts and having worsening suicidal ideation huh wonder what that could be about

[mcflymemes]

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

the universe is so much bigger than you realize.

maybe we would have been better off if we had never gotten married.

why are you dressed all stupid?

you're just very bad at explaining.

how did i die?

he who loves the most regrets the most.

why would anybody want to kill me?

it's the way you look at me.

how do you think i feel?

you can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences.

do you still want to do your party?

you are not unlovable. there is always something to love.

you think i'm weak, don't you?

can we just stop fighting?

you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

i'm tired. i don't want to hurt anymore.

i still want to be here with you. i will always, always want to be here with you.

if nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt you feel for making nothing of your life goes away.

we're all small and stupid.

i wasn't looking for you so i could kill you.

so what? you're just gonna ignore everything else?

i will cherish these few specks of time.

i've been on this earth just as many days as you.

i know better than to ask to help you.

so we'll talk later... like this afternoon?

you look really pretty right now.

you took everything away from me.

we're all useless alone.

i don't know what i'd do without you.

i only made enough food for three people. i'll have to cook more.

i always learn something when i hang out with the elderly. old people are very wise.

everything i do, i try to make things simpler, easier.

maybe you can audition, too.

i don't know how to be any fucking clearer.

i didn't mean that. it was a joke.

the only thing i do know... is that we have to be kind.

i know you see yourself as a fighter.

that's not a very funny joke.

actors are very poor.

it's nice to feel needed.

i was thinking, maybe after this is all done, we can go on a trip.

if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode.

you may be in grave danger. there is no time to explain. hold this.

can't you see how wonderful it'll be? we can make our own way.

i'm here because we need your help.

sorry, very busy today. no time to help you.

i have spent years searching for the one who might be able to match this great evil with an even greater good and bring back balance.

i know it's a lot to take in right now.

i can see where this story's going, and it doesn't look good.

you're always trying to confuse us with these words.

i know you. with every passing moment, you fear that you might have missed your chance to make something of your life.

don't let anything distract you from it.

our time here is up. they are going to kill us.

i may be old, but i still know how to negotiate.

[heretherebedork]

Okay, we're getting more and more backstory for Achi and Ji but, frankly, it's not helping.

They're now puppy daddies. But both Peh and Achi think Ji is dating Pear (obviously). They're very sweet together and Money is currently in Achi's home and not Ji's.

And then this shot of Pear between them... except that doesn't last long and now everyone knows they're not going out and that Pear really is just dating the guy Achi punched which is deeply ironic tbh.

Definitely see this a lot in Ji. He is quick to be like 'either now or never, damnit' and even if it does still lead to forgiveness at the end... it's very reflective of their current relationship and issues. But where did they come from!? The issues, I mean.

I do love that the puppets came back. They're very cute and very sweet. But they also show so much about Achi and his softness and his fear of not being heard and his struggles with genuinely expressing himself (which we see often in him as an adult when he turns everything into a joke and laughs even when he's miserable and how much he hides behind his own facades and how much that leaves him hurt and alone because people never know he's hurt.)

Then we get this whole little sequence of them being adorable and friends and studying together and planning their future and dear lord what is gonna happen y'all and when will they tell us!? Look at them being adorable and so sweet and under this blg blue blanket and just happy together.

I'm starting to think that the literal issue is going to be Achi confessing to Ji. Though then we get to the lyrics of Achi's new song and I just die. This man blames himself for everything while knowing that Ji loves him back and is convinced that he's the one that fucked this up so badly that he can only do this with a fresh start.

Seriously, Achi breaks my heart.

(And then the preview for next week when Ji is going to be asked to stay away from Achi because Achi, you know, literally collapses and I bet Ji won't tell him anything and just leave him to feel alone and abandoned and unloved.)

[tropicalscream]

being an ex fiancee sucks and is a living hell

i had one perosn who actually loved me for me abd i fucked ut up

im an unlovable annoying sack of shit and someone wanted to be with me regardless and i fucked it up

I'm not monogamous but

but someone loved me enough to want to consider marriage

and now

it's nothing its been nothing

and im just alone and unlovable

im gonna die alone in a gutter and its all my own dman fault

[ourlordapollo]

Just realized I never posted my Narumitsu playlist so let's goooo

It's in rough chronological order by the OG trilogy and stops after T&T

Tracklist

Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder

You're on the road and now you pray it lasts

The road behind was rocky, but now you're feeling cocky

You look at me and you see your past

Is that the reason why you're running so fast?

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Loving you isn't the right thing to do

How can I ever change things that I feel?

If I could, maybe I'd give you my world

How can I when you won't take it from me?

Before I Got There - The Mountain Goats

And in a pit behind the altar,

The bodies of the fallen

Heavy tracks up to the lip

Just to prove that they were crawling

Faces turned toward the sky

That they would never see again

Victims of the fallout

I have failed you, sweet young men

Yesterday - The Beatles

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Fix You - Canyon City

When the tears come streaming down your face

And you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone and it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Stars - fun.

And I've been saying that you,

You're always holding onto stars

I think they're better from afar

'Cause no one here is gonna save us

—

You Run Away - Barenaked Ladies

You run away

You could turn and stay

But you run away from me

I tried to be your brother

You cried and ran for cover

Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons

And it was not your fault but mine

And it was your heart on the line

I really fucked it up this time

Didn't I, my dear?

At Least It Was Here - The 88

But I love you more than words can say

I can’t count the reasons I should stay

One by one they all just fade away

But I love you more than words can say

Europe's Skies - Alexander Rybak

I don't know you, but I need more time

Promise me you'll be mine

Birds are flying over Europe's skies

Tell me please, why can't I?

Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus

I never meant to start a war

I just wanted you to let me in

How to Save a Life - The Fray

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

No Children - The Mountain Goats

I am drowning

There is no sign of land

You are coming down with me

Hand in unlovable hand

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me and I walk alone

—

Love You Madly - CAKE

I don't want to wonder if this is a blunder

I don't want to worry whether we're going to stay together 'til we die

I don't want to jump in unless this music's thumpin'

All the dishes rattle in the cupboards when the elephants arrive

Cellophane - Sia

Patience is your virtue, saint of mine

I'd have fallen through the cracks without your love tonight

Iowa (Traveling, Pt. 3) - Dar Williams

How I long to fall just a little bit

To dance out of the lines and stray from the light

But I fear that to fall in love with you

Is to fall from a great and gruesome height

Hey Jude - The Beatles

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

Lean On Me - Keb' Mo'

Lean on me

When you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Pompeii - Bastille

But if you close your eyes

Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?

And if you close your eyes

Does it almost feel like you've been here before?

Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles

Little darling

I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling

It seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun

[plutobutartsy]

What songs make you think of briar, nate, and Evie?

ohhh that's a great question!! i narrowed it down to 3 each but they're all fairly angsty, my bad 😭

also this ended up bein a lot longer than i intended fcf

Briar

Are You Satisfied? by Marina

[High achiever, don't you see? / Baby, nothing comes for free / They say I'm a control freak / Driven by a greed to succeed || It's my problem, it's my problem if I feel the need to hide / And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die]

this one is pretty self-explanatory; he's an overachiever and a perfectionist and pushes people away so 1. they don't see his flaws and 2. he can focus on becoming the best™

ILYIS pt. 2 by Mel Bryant & The Mercy Makers

[I love you, you're so selfless / I'm sorry, I'm so selfish / I love that you're so gentle / And I'm sorry I'm so hellish]

the best way to push people away is to mistreat them in some way, shape or form and Briar knows this. unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from feeling incredibly guilty about it. and then he feels guilty about feeling guilty because he chose this, so he has no right to be unhappy about it, right?

Alien Blues by Vundabar

[I need to purge my urges, / Shame, shame, shame / I need an alibi to justify, / Somebody to blame]

this one applies in two ways. for one, it's very much about his eating disorder and the shame he feels around his need to feed. but it's also about how he hides who he really is in order to project this image of perfection.

Nate

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber

[Tears falling down at the party / Saddest little baby in the room / Fears, tell me fears, don't get me started / I get a little grey hair for every scare you share]

allthough they wear this cheery mask, if you look closely enough you can see that Nate is pretty much always sad. no matter how many people he has around him, he's always the saddest and most lonely person in the room! :D

Fifteen Minutes by Mike Krol

[What if I told you that the world was gonna end / And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends? / I guess we don't even need to use the phone / I don't need your answer, I'll be spending it alone]

since he does his best to shut off all of his feelings, all his relationships are veryyy surface-level. Nate is convinced that they'll never be anybody's favourite person or first choice.

i'm your man by mitski

[So, when you leave me, I should die / I deserve it, don't I? || One day, you'll figure me out / I'll meet judgement by the hounds || You believe me like a god / I betray you like a man]

oh he feels so so guilty for this fake persona he's putting on. they think they're unlovable (like their father) and like they're deceiving everybody atound them, tricking them into liking him.

also dog mention 🐺🐺🐺

Evie

Shame by mitski

[I never was very good / I haven’t been so good / But right outside the door nobody knows / They’re right outside the door and they don’t know how it / Feels so good] alright, so i've already established that Evie feels a lot of shame surrounding, well, everything. she feels like she's just so incredibly average at everything she does, no matter how hard she tries. she also feels incredibly guilty and ashamed over how she knocks others down to climb the social latter. the last two verses relate to her specifically in regards to her self harm :).

summer depression by girl in red

[Pretty face with pretty bad dreams / No one knows I cry in my sleep / Waking up feeling like shit / It's a normal thing to feel like this]

honestly, this whole song is Evie all year around but summer is similar to her birthday in the sense that she's painfully aware that she should be doing things with her friends like other people her age, except she has no friends. additionally, she does everything in her power to keep her depression from her family because she thinks she's "not sick enough". she's convinced herself that feeling awful 24/7 is normal, that everyone feels like this and she's just being a crybaby about it! yay :3

Lovefuck by Dream Nails

[You'll love and fuck / You'll love and fuck and love again / Your world is growing bigger every day / I know you don't believe me]

ending this on a hopeful note! this is very much Evie once her mental health gets better and she realizes that life isn't so bad and that she still has all the time in the world to find happiness :D

[halfagone]

Here is an idea (inspired from the idea of someone else) you can do whatever you want to with: Jason for some reason decides to put a bounty (with favours and family dinners in exchange) on some rich guy and our lovely emotionally constipated rich guy, Bruce, takes the first row seat in listening the rules and pulls out a pen and paper from the ether and writes down everything and asks numerous questions. Bruce scores so many points that Jason sweats... And all he wants is a family dinner every other week. Absolutely nothing else, just come over, have dinner, chat with the sibs and Alfred (Jason is more than free to pretend that Bruce isn't there or so the older of the two says) and leave whenever. And after some mental calculations Jason knows that it will take at least 3 years to get through all of the pilled up family dinners and he has no idea what to even start thinking or feeling. Meanwhile every wonders if Bruce broke Jason with his own way of showing love and affection.

P.S. I HC that at least part of Bruce's love language is to spend time in the same space with his kids doing whatever... Even if it means doing paperwork in the middle of the room where Dick experiences an acrobat's wet dreams.

I'm not gonna lie to you, my brain literally went to 'paid mercenary' when I read 'bounty', but people put bounties on targets even without killing involved! So that's on me. lol But I definitely think that Bruce likes to spend lots of time with his children when he can, which could stem from lots of things, like how his parents died while they were on a night in the town together and even though he lost him he at least got to know how much they cared about him, and if he ever dies he wants his children to know that too, and that means showing an interest in their lives and being there. Or maybe it's because the last time he let a kid out of his sight for too long they went to a foreign country, got killed, and came back thinking they had died unloved and forgotten. 🙃

Sorry, my brain automatically translates to angst.

But seriously, Bruce wants to be there! Sometimes that means he can be overeager and always hovering over their shoulder, driving them up a wall. And sometimes that means he meddles and comes around even when they don't want them to.

Bruce spent such a long time alone in the Manor, with only Alfred to keep him company, and then went to travel and train largely alone, with only the occasional companion. And then he started his crusade expecting that to continue, only to soon gain a partner and son in Dick, and then slowly but steadily fill up the Manor with lively children.

Why would he ever want to go back to the way things used to be? And moreover, he chose to have these children in his life, why would he not want to spend time with them?

Jason would probably struggle to wrap his head around the concept the most. He went so long thinking only a certain way about Bruce, and then has to realize that he might have been wrong about Bruce from the start. He's got his own problems with parents who had loved or cared for him, but hadn't really been in the space or position to properly care about him. Look at Catherine, she loved and took care of Jason even when he wasn't her own son by blood! And yet having him in her life hadn't been enough to keep her off her drugs and addiction. That can really fuck a kid up. Bruce has plenty of other kids, lots of responsibility, and he can be a workaholic! But the fact that he wants and tries to make the time to spend time with his children, even if it just means being in the same room together so that he can hear them talk and laugh and rib each other says a lot about how important they are to him. And I'd like to think Jason would realize that too.

Bruce is, and more importantly can be, a good father! I will die on this hill, even if I have to get the dirt and make it myself.

10/10 HC, @chrysanthemum9484. It's not a fic, but my god, it's still got lots of feeling. I've got lots of Feelings. I shouldn't be allowed to write...

Side note: NF's How Could You Leave Us gives me major Jason Todd Feelings and I don't know how to cope with that.

[purlturtle]

Soft prompts: 30 is all I really want in this world but 17 makes me sigh because so soft. Bering and Wells obviously. They deserve it.

Let's see if we can't do both! (Here's the prompt list, if anyone else wants to!)

17. fixing the other persons clothes absentmindedly or like tucking their hair behind their ear U KNOW WHAT I MEAN THAT SOFT STUFF

30. ‘this is my husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner etc.’

---

"Myka, are you absolutely sure of this?"

Myka caught a pair of hands that were fiddling with a starched shirt collar, and smiled at their owner. "Ten years, and I've never seen you this flustered. You look stunning, you told me that I look stunning, let's go and stun them, yeah?"

Helena bit her lip and looked aside, not moving a muscle to get out of the car.

"Hey," Myka said softly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Helena protested, not very convincingly in Myka's point of view. "I just..."

"Nervous what they're gonna think?" When Helena simply pursed her lips, Myka shifted in her seat to look at her more squarely. "Helena, they're just old classmates of mine. Who cares what they think?"

"You said you wanted to blow them out of the water!" Helena protested. "They obviously mean something to you, otherwise why bother?"

A hand came up to weave through perfect hair; Myka caught it and squeezed it, feeling the slender band around one finger digging into her palm as she did so. "You mean something to me," she said intently. "So yeah, maybe I want to show you off to everyone who thought that Bering the Bookworm would die alone and unloved, but that's because you are an amazing catch more than because I want them to eat their hearts out." She hesitated, then added, "I mean I do want them to eat their hearts out, but that's secondary. And if it makes you this anxious-" Then it hit her. "Is this about how public this is?"

Helena looked down at their now-entwined hands, running her forefinger over Myka's wedding band. "It was unheard of," she said quietly. "In my day. Behind closed doors, certainly; everyone was getting up to all kinds of things dans le boudoir." She bit her lip and looked out of the car's passenger window to the brightly lit hotel entrance. "But to come right out and say it? Certain social death. Worse than that, for some," she added darkly.

"Oscar Wilde," Myka nodded.

"And plenty of others." Helena sighed. "I am sorry, Myka - I truly thought I would be able to approach this with more fortitude."

"Hey, don't worry. We don't have to do this. We can turn this car around and go right back to our hotel."

She could see Helena's jaw jut forward sharply, then Helena turned back to look at her with steely eyes. "No. No, I am too... too proud of you, of us, of the fact that we are finally allowed to marry. I just have to overcome my-" Suddenly, she laughed - only the once, and still very tense, but it was laughter. "Jitters," she explained, "more than even on our wedding day." The smile she gave Myka was fond.

When she tugged a hand free, Myka let her; it came up to adjust the shoulder seam of Myka's vest, then brushed some lint (present or imaginary, Myka didn't care) off her shoulder. Eyes glinting mischievously, she leaned forward; Myka leaned in too, certain that a little bit of kissing would lift their spirits.

Helena swerved at the last moment, though, and Myka had no time to protest before a perfect imprint of two lipsticked lips adorned the perfect white of her shirt.

Helena looked up at her and smirked. "Let's slay them."

---

Okay, I'm gonna stop it here and leave the "And this is Helena, my wife" implied. But you better believe that that is what Myka is gonna say, every chance she gets, a dozen times at least that night. And yes, they're both wearing collared shirts and vests - sharp and stylish as all get-out, of course.

Thanks for the prompt! I hope you like the result! 💜

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Reacting to Contemporary Comics (Without Context) 13/?

I've been working on this for six weeks. I'm sorry, homework and TWO ISSUES OF IMMORTAL THOR sidetracked me. Getting this post hammered out before the next issue of Immortal Thor comes out tomorrow.

I don't know what the fuck this is. I think it might be an anthology? We're joined by modern Thor genius writer, Jason Aaron, creator of the story with The Best Panel Ever in Comic History; and Walter Simonson, of nude!Loki bait fame, and several authors whom I don't recognize.

Spoilers for The Mighty Thor #700 (2017) and likely others.

This is feeling vaguely IT 5-ish

Thori! My good boy!

Thor wants to murder Yggdrasil. I love Thori.

Am I crying about mundane panels again? Possibly. In my defense I lost my dog recently.

Fuck I forgot he lost his arm!

Thori and the goat (idk which one it is) just following him is so great

"Man?" You recruited just random dudes, Malekith? What's Joe from Accounting gonna do? Did Doom have the afternoon off and owed you a favor?

Jane vs She-Hulk?! Why is She-Hulk so hot in this? Did this come out before Ragnarok? It must have, right? Ragnarok came out October 2017. Wait, no, it says December 2017.

WHOA, doc/nurse/whoever you are! HIPAA! I know Jane is technically a doctor, but she's here as a patient right now. Don't give her Jennifer's entire backstory.

Volstagg was Thor once?!

LOKI!!!

Loki why are you dressed like that? Where is your sense of style, you queer little twink?

THOR YOU DID NOT NAME THESE NEW HUMANS JANE AND STEVE WTF

There's my boi! Took you fucking long enough, dude

Yeah, because he's the God of Stories! Give him a fucking minute to try before you erase everything he's written! God.

Also can we stop drawing him so gross?!

Okay but I might change the name of my Loki playlist from Disaster Spouse to Little Prince of Jackasses lol

Why is Throg's name Simon Walterson... one of the prolific Thor writers is Walter Simonson... this is a multi-level spoof [I'm thinking he probably created the character, actually, but I'm not in the mood to fact check that atm]

Okay, when is Loki's thread of the narrative? Because that was... still in character, but he seems too cold about it for when I thought this was. Ugh, this is what happens when you let anyone other than Al Ewing write Loki.

NO! What the fuck? Talk about a NoTP! Hela and Thanos? Thanos needs to die alone and unloved. And Hela's married to Karnilla. >:(

[icantthink0facreativename]

Okay look,

I'm getting sick of teenagers, especially online, saying that because they have not dated anyone yet, that they're unloveable and will die alone.

I don't understand it at all because? I mean? Bro you're what, like 12? You just went from using cubbies to lockers like 15 minutes ago. Keep your velcro Sketchers on, no one is thinking about dating your ass yet not because you are unloveable, but because you smell like shit, your idea of dark humor is just being racist, and your biggest accomplishment is hitting the top of the door frame at school.

You're too young to worry about if you're charismatic or funny or attractive enough. Please just focus on showering and learning your order of operations before even thinking about dating.

You're not gonna be "alone" forever. You'll date people in high school, you'll get laid in college, you may even grow out of your Warrior Cats phase. But thinking that you're gonna remain the same terrible awkward terrifying child you are right now for the rest of your life isn't gonna get you anywhere.

Take ya damn time, kiddo.

[schrodingers-blursed-kitty]

.

[feathersketchcreations]

so the glowing blitz silhouette from the look my way MV inspired me to draw Remi in the same pose because I.. see so much of myself in Blitz. I know I spend alot of my time doing silly goofy meme art as well as oc x Blitz polyamory shipart and while some see it as me being some Blitz fangirl or cringy simp, sure. I guess people can judge me for the gushy self insert characters x blitz shipart. but I don't do this because I'm a Blitz Fangirl. there is a reason I obsess and hyperfocus on Blitz so much and it's because I connect so deeply to him that it's kinda super personal. I know that seems silly.. but I also DO know I'm not the only one that feels the same way. I've seen other blitz fans who kin him and feel the same way I do.

I'm not gonna sugar coat this when I say blitz has a LOT to work on. thats fact. He deals with self hate, he genuinely thinks he doesn't even deserve love or affection, but he feels SO lonely. hes afraid hes going to DIE alone. and he also blames himself for things that were accident, showing he has a pretty bad guilt complex that has made him feel SUPER guilty about his childhood tent fire accident. he also has individuals who hate him as we've seen throughout the series (Verosika, Fizz, his own sister barbie, ect, though we already saw him and fizz make up. which is awesome! ^^) and well.. yea..

theres just.. SO much Blitz goes through as a character.. and me personally, I've been through each and EVERY Single thing he's going through. and yes. it HITS hard...

I know what it's like to self hate. I've been dealing with self hate my entire life. growing up I did a piss poor job building up the self love and seeing my worth. even to this day I still deal with self hate. yea, I know that I have people who tell me my arts good, or that im a good friend, or that I've inspired them, and truthfully yea I know my arts good, and I know I inspire others cause that's always been my goal is to inspire people, and if it works yay! but I am working on myself still. it's a rough road of getting out of the pit of self hate. self love is SUPER hard. my boyfriend even sees how hard it can be and how damaging self hate can be to me. but he still believes in me. just like I know all of my friends in this fandom believe in me. and I think that alone is what helps me try. and seeing Blitz go through this definitely makes me connect and idk. it speaks to me..

I know what it's like to feel like I'm unloveable.. before I met my boyfriend Christian, I had such a hard time with relationships. people used me. cheated on me, abused me. yknow the gist. back in 2015 I was SO close to giving up because I thought I was worthless and unlovable.. I was so fucking hopeless. I felt so unloved, and unwanted and blamed myself... anyone I'd have feelings for, I would get friendzoned, or shot down. I just felt super hopeless until I met christian. we.. admittedly had a rocky start and ups and downs.. but here we are 8 years later, moved in together, and still holding on to one another. I love him to death, and would do anything for him.. and obviously in Blitz's case in the show, after seeing the episode truth seekers, and ozzies, I felt so bad for him. truthfully this is why i made remi. I had MADE remi to ship with blitz to make comfort art of him in HAPPY art pieces because it pained me to see him go through all this stuff in the show. and I seriously can't wait to finally see him SUPER happy with Stolas when they finally get together canonically of course! <3 it's gonna be amazing <3

I know what it's like to suffer from a really bad guilt complex.. I've done and said things I didn't mean in the past.. I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I was AWFUL, but I'm learning from my mistakes.. and I'll be real, I still feel guilty over the things I've said and done because yea. I feel horrible. dispite people I've wronged, forgiving me, and me bettring meself, years later I still feel horrible and have my moments where I'll just sit at my table, stare off and then cry, having an emotional break down. so seeing blitz HATE himself AND beat himself up, and being guilty for the circus fire even though it was an accident.. man it hurts and hits me really hard cause that shit is so relatable...

so.. Idk.. I don't just "simp" or "fangirl" for blitz (I mean I wont deny it I do simp, and fangirl to the extreme lol) I just.. relate to him so much on a personal level it's insane..

so it makes me happy seeing him happy. cause all the poor dude seems to get is big fat F yous in the show left and right, and I draw him shipped with My ocs Remi and Tiziri because both Remi AND tiziri are representation of me somewhat, and because I used to go through what hes going through, It comforts me drawing shipart. dispite what the haters think, Even after stolas x blitz becomes canon, yes, I'm STILL gonna ship my ocs with blitz in my lil AU..

but know I also cannot wait to see stolas and blitz happy.

agh.. I know this is alot. sorry. <XD

I'm kinda emotional rn..

anyway. er. yea. this is my peice. hopefully people kinda understand a little bit of why I stick to oc x blitz ships so much.. and if not hey, thats okay. I get it.

thank you for reading.

artwork was inspired off of the blitz silhouette from the look my way music video

Art (c) me Remi (c) mine helluva boss (c) vivziepop

[archived-and-moving]

keefe and/or sokeefe <33

oh summer.... sorry you're getting a 1989 song too it's just kind of what they are to me.

hmm let's do my boy Keefe first though!

No Lullaby by SIAMES

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home?

Where's the love when you were left on your own?

So alone.

//

Who said you're on your own?

First mood of Keefe Sencen: get this man some found family right the fuck now. Idk! I think that this song is such a good representation of Keefe's mentality on stuff.

He thinks of himself as broken and unlovable, and pushes the people who care most about him away. He doesn't recognize his achievements and what he's done and who he's around because of the way he's been raised.

He doesn't know how to love or be loved because he believes himself to be alone.

So I think that's why the last line of this song, the 'who said you're on your own?' is so important. He deserves to be loved more than anything.

Just a nice little comfort that he's getting in these later canon books for ya.

Toes by Glass Animals

I'm a man, I'm a twisted fool

My hands are twisted too

//

All I ever want

Is breaking me apart

It's really important to me that we acknowledge that Keefe does have a side to him that's less morally correct. I think he deserves to be selfish and anything that says he isn't fucked up is so wrong.

He's a poor little meow meow and I think he should be unhealthy. That's all. This song's sound captures that so much more than a lot of the lyrics do, but I still think these lyrics do it pretty well. He tries to be mysterious mysterious and he's fucked up and the delivery shows that.

Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise by The Avett Brothers

And there was a kid with a head full of doubt

So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out.

//

There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light

And I'm frightened by those who don't see it

This song is so very special to me, and it goes to Keefe because of how much I project onto him /hj

In reality it's just such a powerful song to me. It's so moving and reflective and that's the way I want Keefe's arc to go. To be able to grow and change and turn around to see how far he's come. He hasn't made it, but he's getting there.

He's alive, and he's loved, and that's what he needs.

Ok! Sokeefe!!

This Love by Taylor Swift

Your kiss, my cheek

I watched you leave

Your smile, my ghost

//

When you're young, you just run

But you come back to what you need

I was going to apologize but no! 1989 by Taylor Swift and Sokeefe give me the same vibes so I will not say sorry. Both the ship and this album are some kind of nostalgia for me. Like driving in a car during summer, all of your worries and regrets vanishing as you try to let everything you've been through wash away.

Sokeefe to me is that heavy feeling you get in August. It's that sweet smile that turns sad, it's watching the sun go down ignoring that it'll come back up again and what comes next. They're taking the moment to laugh instead of to cry. They remind themselves that there is something good and carefree in this world.

Soap by The Oh Hellos

I think that you're worth keeping around

I think that you're worth holding onto

//

It's gonna hurt like hell

But we're gonna be well

I'll give you my best shot

They just! Idk they're joyous and they're so much more than romantic. That's what I love about sophie and keefe. I think they're so much more than a romantic relationship could ever give them. They are best friends and worst enemies and when they look into the mirror they see one another. They counter act each other. They are just. Idk man!

Either way, this song is just so uplifting but also there's something about it. Just reminds me of them.

[vole-mon-amour]

"Blinding lights. I'm on stage and I almost can't breathe. I'm so damn full of... hatred. Then I let it all out into a mic. And I realize it didn't help, I don't feel any better. And then, promise not to laugh, I plant a bomb in Arasaka Tower. They killed me, Vik. Never been so afraid. [Night city looked different. And I hated it. I hated everybody. Every inch.] It was too real. Even for a lucid dream."

"It wasn't a dream, V. Those were memories."

Like, listen. What Johnny did (with Rogue's, mind you, support, you can't blame it all on him) was awful. The afraid part though? The hatred? That's depression, baby.

You can't make me unlove Johnny. You just can't. He may be just a funny little guy to you, but definitely not to me.

UPD:

"So this terrorist in my head, he wants to wipe me out, wants to take over my body."

"It's not willful on his part. It's all automatic."

There goes Johnny that wants to help V in every way he can. Even if you choose to go back into the Tower alone, Johnny promises to be there with you. Ahhh.

"And then he died... And I thought I was gonna die... With him, in my sleep."

[mxalexwhat]

gonna start writing down the thing that makes me upset, think through why I'm upset, and then write the final conclusion of that thought process, just to see if I'm being irrational about the whole thing.

My friend doesn't like the way my car smells.

she's such a baby. I like the way it smells. but maybe it IS that bad if she's willing to drive herself when she hates driving. and our other friend did agree it was "strong." maybe I'm nose blind? people who sit in bad smells for so long they get used to it and can't smell how bad it is. maybe my car IS stinky? maybe I'M stinky? I was a stinky kid. my mom always said nobody likes to be around stinky people because they're lazy and gross and stubborn and selfish. those are traits of bad people. nobody loves bad stinky people. but I really don't think the smell is bad or stinky. so maybe I'm also crazy? crazy people don't know they're crazy, just like how nose blind people don't know they're stinky. my family is crazy. many of them hurt me and others. many of them died alone. many of them were stinky, stubborn, selfish people as well as crazy. so that all means

I must be a bad, stinky, crazy person who will die alone and unloved.

that is pretty fucking irrational... I'm not sure if its this or the xanax is finally kicking in, but I think I feel better?