#I'm joking but also fuck im so depressed!!
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Just learned that my favorite bar has closed definitely......I will now proceed to maul the first person i see
#I'm joking but also fuck im so depressed!!#I hadn't checked since i went there in december with a friend and then!! it just closed in january what the fuck!!#It was such a cool place too!!#It was literally a prohibition 20's style bar!! Except it really was kinda hidden because the outside of the building indicated nothig!!#but when you went inside you would have an old type of phone and you pressed a button and boom!! the wall opened and boom secret classy bar#And they made such good cocktails with or without alcohol with such cool presentations!!!!!#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#burito talk#I am heartbroken#I didn't even got to see the last evening!!!!
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you know school season's coming back when i have random concertos playing in my head
#hi forsyth. please don't be a nightmare this semester 🙏🏼 you are epic. i am on my way to being epic. let's be friends about it!!!#bluebird.txt#violaposting#i'm the chillest ive ever been lowkey and i highly suspect (though i can't be sure)#that it's the birth control affecting my hormones somehow#the doctor said there's nothing wrong with me. he is a doctor. i am not. however. it feels like perhaps there could be something wrong with#me.#whatever it is so far the birth control is actually helping though#i've gotten my period twice! on schedule! it's never done that before! like fucking ever! in my whole life!#and again i'm chiller. i definitely still have anxiety no doubt#and there's also the fact that i just took a fat fucking relaxing lazy ass break#which was quite awesome tbh#so that might also be why i'm feeling good#but i truly wonder#cuz not a lots been happening so this semester we'll see how i go emotionally speaking#and there's also the fact that im a musician and an artist and therefore inherently a little fucked up#and it's not an easy road by any means even if i wasn't#but like. am i just wishful thinking or could the birth control actually be helping me be calmer somewhat?#hey computer am i depressed hey computer could taking birth control somehow make me not depressed#just kidding. there's never been anything wrong with me i am just silly and funny and not like other girls!#nevermind that i have one and a half friends who wont stop calling me autistic 😭#i dont think im autistic but i genuinely have no idea anymore how to respond when my friends joke/talk like that#like. shrugs. i'm not autistic i just believe your beliefs my friends <3 im an ally <3
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୨ PODCAST ୧
summary: matt leaves the podcast because of his brother's jokes, and y/n comforts him.
warnings: cussing, sad, fluff
notes: this fanfic was a request! also english is not my first language so im sorry about any mistake
୨୧
The day with the Triplets has been a little stressful, specially for Matt. Each time he spoke, his brothers would joke saying that he was being way too ‘depressed’ and ‘miserable’. Or Nick would always answer with ‘Yeah, yeah nobody wants to hear about that shit’.
Now, after they invited me to their podcast, here I am, sitting next to my boyfriend, holding his hand gently.
As Chris and Nick keep talking over their brother, calling him ‘Miserable Matt’ I could see him getting more annoyed, his eyes watering, and it feels like I'm the only one seeing his discomfort.
I don’t really know what to do, cause obviously his brothers are just joking, and I'm not sure how to intervene without making things awkward.
They keep teasing him over and over.
“I'm not going to sit here for like another 55 minutes or some shit.” Matt’s voice getting slowly lower.
“What? What was that? That mumble? I can’t understand you.” The older triplet mocks him, but he tries to ignore it. “Ok go ahead-“
“Now you are ‘mumble Matt’ too” Chris laughs after Nick’s comment. “It's like I can't even understand what you are saying, sounds like rocks rolling down a hill, your voice”
I try to end the conversation "Can we just-" Before I can finish, Chris and Nick burst into laughter "Can we start the podcast?" I try again, but Matt lets out a heavy sigh.
Nick continues “it literally sounds like an avalanch coming out of your mouth” Matt gets up aggressively, starting to leave the room “I’m not doing this shit anymore.”
“Oh come on Matt!” Chris says chucking. They laugh some more as I just think of what to do. I get up from my seat, hurrying after him “Hey.. Matt..” I begin, attempting to catch his attention. However, before I could reach him, he gets in his room, and slams the door in my face, leaving me standing outside. I'm sure this is not just about the stupid jokes they were making.
I hesitate for a moment before making any move, thinking if I should open the door, i’m sorry, but I can't just ignore the urge to check on him.
With a deep breath, I reach out and calmly push the door open. Inside, I find Matt lying on his bed, his face buried in his pillow, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
“Can we talk love?” I say quietly closing the door behind me.
He lifts his head, his eyes red and puffy, his expression a mixture of sadness and anger. "What do you want?" His voice defensive.
Ignoring his tone, I move closer and sit on the bed.
With a gentle touch, I reach out and place my hand on his back, offering a silent gesture of comfort. For a moment, we sit in silence, until I interrupt it.
“Can you tell me what has been going on lately?” I ask softly, my voice filled with concern.
“Nothings going on” He sniffs, still with his face in the pillow “I’m fine” His voice barely above a whisper.
I shake my head, not trusting his words. "You don't seem fine to me" He stays silent, I take a deep breath.
I adjust my position, leaning against the headboard of the bed. I decide to take a different approach instead of talking “Come here..” I pat the spot next to me, in sign for him to come closer “Let's just cuddle for a bit."
He completely stops acting rude in the moment I suggest it, Matt scoots closer, laying his head on my chest, his arms around my waist. I stroke his smooth brown hair. I kiss the top of his head. We stay like this for some good ten minutes.
He presses his face into the crook of my neck and whispers with a shaky voice “I’m just so fucked up..”
Gently, I cupped his cheeks, lifting his head from my neck, making him look into my eyes “Matt.. Why do you say that?”
"I just.. I don't know" He admits. "I'm just so fucking exhausted of feeling like this all the time..”
I sigh, I hate seeing him in this state. “Since when do you feel like that?” I wait patiently for Matt's response, he looks away.
“I don’t know.. For some long time now.. I guess I've been trying to push it away, but it just keeps coming back, over and over.” As he spoke, I could see the pain in his eyes.
"I'm sorry I couldn't see it sooner babe.." I whisper, reaching out to gently brush away his tears. "I should have known something was wrong." I kiss his forehead.
He shakes his head "It's not your fault" He murmurs "I don’t want you to worry"
I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. "But I do worry, Matt" I confess softly. "I care about you more than anything."
He buries his face deeper into my chest. "I love you so much.." He whispers, his voice muffled by the fabric of my shirt.
"I love you too.." I whisper back in his ear, squeezing him tightly.
୨୧
sorry this is so short 😭😭
tags: @muwapsturniolo
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo smut#sturniolo smut#fanfic#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo x reader#st
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¿dónde está la biblioteca? || z.cl
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6387d94e81f35a18d58a2901eb0b56aa/33bbca129967164b-83/s540x810/eb104758ba796547a9530fb69c8f022d02add664.jpg)
In which SMU’s star basketball player zhong chenle is threatened to be benched for the season because of his failing spanish grade, marking the end of his life as he knows it.
or
In which SMU’s resident spanish tutor y/n l/n is suddenly being harassed by a random dance major, begging her to tutor his best friend before he spirals further into depression (or finishes the third tub of cookie dough ice cream he did not buy.)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6387d94e81f35a18d58a2901eb0b56aa/33bbca129967164b-83/s540x810/eb104758ba796547a9530fb69c8f022d02add664.jpg)
★ pairing ;; basketballcaptain!chenle x spanishtutor!reader
★ genres ;; social media au, written parts, college au, slowburn, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers.
★ featuring ;; ph1, aespa, bnd, riize, other nct units.
★ warnings ;; profanity, sexual jokes and innuendos, death jokes, alcohol use, maybe weed consumption, let me know if theres more!
★ status ;; completed!
★playlist ;; here
★ taglist ;; closed!
★ blue's corner ;; so, i can't say im not absolutely terrified to post this, but im also sooo excited to share it! i think the lack of chenle content in this app is criminal, so i wanted to put my own little grain of salt to change that. i do want to say that this is totally self indulgent since i'm a native spanish speaker and because of that i ask you to be patient with me if you notice a lot of spelling mistakes or a sentence doenst really make sense, but i appreciate if you'd let me know if that happens!
★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!!
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YANGYANG HATE CLUB || markhyuk fanclub😍😍|| pro ballers
zero. I DO NOT??
one. 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚
two. LOW BLOW
three. oh !
four. ha... haha... ha
five. matate
six. what the fuck was that (written)
seven. debby downer
eight. what does my asthma have anything to do with this
nine. sorry pookie🙏
ten. chat am i cooked?
elven. WHOS THAT GIRLLL
twelve. oh?
thirteen. i think i fucked up
fourteen. missing ludovica hours
fifteen. critical thinking skills
sisxteen. where the fuck did alberto come from? (half written)
seventeen. cry about it
eighteen. not the despair slide...
nineteen. are you jelly?
twenty. seek help
twenty one. i need to leave (written)
twenty two. word
twenty three. good kitten
twenty four. are you shitting me? (written)
twenty five. oh hey
twenty six. VOLDEMORT DOESNT LIKE YOU
twenty seven. girl…
twenty eight. were you silent or silenced
twenty nine. PRETTY IS BACK
thirty. the og friend group combiners
thirty one. lowkey......
thirty two. hola linda, (written)
thirty three. this psycho
thirty four. just for me
EXTRAS
who is jisung reading fanfiction about?
© peterm4rker, 2024
#chenle#zhong chenle#chenle smau#nct dream#nct dream smau#kpop#kpop smau#nct#nct smau#chenle texts#chenle x reader#wayv#chenle social media au#nct dream social media au#nct social media au#🕸🕷✮⋆˙ peterm4rkerswrld#🕸🕷✮⋆˙ ¿dónde está la biblioteca?#🕸🕷✮⋆˙ chenle
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Hi, I really liked your account <3. Could you make a hc of Daisuke with the reader being Swansea's daughter? But I understand if you don't want to :>
(sorry if the writing is bad, English is not my first language and I used the translator ಥ_ಥ)
YES YES I WILL HAPPILY WRITE THAT (your english is better than mine and english is my first language lmfao.)! this is such a cool idea though and i never even thought of it. this is my first req ever im so excited tysm!!
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✎ "but daddy i love him!" (i'm havin' his baby, NO IM NOT but you should see your faces ;)) -taylor swift
warnings! - SMUT HCS + SFW!, vibrator, pegging, reader being swanseas daughter and getting w daisuke, MY FIRST REQ GUYS BE SO PROUD, evelyn is freaky 😼
SFW!!
oh jesus this is certainly a concept
you're there for almost the same reason daisuke is, for in internship.
however... daisuke is there since his parents are rich asf and paid for him to go, you're there because you've been rejected from your dream job and went into a depression due to it.
swansea knew he wouldn't let his daughter suffer, so he asked if you could been an intern on the ship for Anya.
the Pony Express executives were hesitant at first, but caved when Swansea offered for them to renew his contract for longer.
your first day aboard, you make fast friends with Anya and faster friends with Daisuke.
you ended up having to share a room with daisuke, in bunk beds.
a flirty/silly argument about who got top bunk, ending with daisuke going “what if we just share?”
he knew damn well
taking advantage of your stunned face and mind, he jumped up on the top bunk and stuck his tongue out at you.
”i was just joking, mini mechanic.”
100% calls you mini mechanic for the rest of the time on the ship even though technically HES the mini mechanic but wtv let him have his fun
is actually so glad you’re relatively the same age as him, and was really excited to be able to talk w you about younger and occasionally inappropriate stuff
UNTILL he found out you’re his boss’s daughter..!
tries to keep the dirty jokes to a minimum, but fails miserably
it was always pretty obvious that he had a thing for you, even before yall got together
would be asking swansea abt you 24-7 and your hobbies and favorite things only to be met with “stay away from my daughter, juarez.”
is now 10x more scared
and you’re also 10x more attractive to him since he knows he can’t have you
intentionally gets his finger jammed in something while helping your dad so he can go to medbay and see you
once you’re about a month into the trip, you two have regular staying up late and YAPPING sessions in your room
he’ll occasionally come down from his bunk and sit on the floor next to your bed if the topic is deeper, until you notice he looks uncomfortable on the metal floor and tell him to come sit on the bed
anddd thats how babies are made folks! the end!
nah jk anyways you two talk until the early hours of the artificial ‘morning’ on the ship
when yall finally run out of things to talk about, you realize he’s laying next to you and you’re laying on his arm
oh nooo how did that happen (fuck already damn)
“comfy there?”
”shut up.”
”make me, mini mechanic.”
”now is not the time to bring up my father, dai.”
you playing w his hair and growing to understand how much he loves when you do that
eventually falling asleep in each others arms
you cannot tell me this mf isn’t SO comfy to sleep on be so fr
waking up to YOUR DAD 🤗 banging on the door demanding that daisuke get up and come help him fix smth in the storage
getting jump scared and shaking dai awake bc bro is knocked out and snoring
him opening the door and yall having to act like you weren’t wrapped in each others arms, entirely consumed in the other
holy shit that was fuckin poetic
awkwardly waving bye to him, both of you having a knowing smile tugging at your lips
he eventually asks you out, VERY awkwardly and in the middle of one of the routine late night talks
you accept happily (no shit)
doing basically everything together
always bringing dai along when you’re in front of your dad js for funsies and to piss him off a little
even while swansea doesn’t seem like he approves of the relationship, he secretly loves how sweet and gentle daisuke is to you
+ his parents are rich so you’re set!!
always telling Anya you need to go ask your dad something when really you js wanna see your pretty boyfriend
you both love each other so fucking much it’s insane. and getting your dad to approve is next level
NSFW….!! (watch out 😛😼 ‘ya girl evelyn is a wee bit freaky)
if you’re a little bolder, you definitely jerk dai off under the workbench where both he AND YOUR FATHER are working (this hc isn’t mine i saw it somewhere else on tumblr btw i js love it sm)
ok listen. dai is a sub at heart, but a bratty sub.
tries to talk back to you? his ass is getting bent over the nearest surface and fucked stupid by your strap (it’s always close by 😼)
also jacking him off while another crew mate is nearby, one i think would be good is curly’s bday celebration. jacking dai off as he’s trying so hard to focus on making the cake while all you can focus on is his slutty noises spilling uncontrollably from his mouth.
going down on him while he’s talking abt his usual unluckiness when trying to find a girl to truly love him, and now js his money. slowly unzipping his jeans while he keeps ranting, breath slightly jagged now.
“they alway-.. (y/n)? uh- what are y- mhmmm. never mind. feels good.”
he says as you gently tug his pants down, letting him fall around his ankles as you look up at him w those fucking eyes. shit. he’s a goner.
leaning back against whatever wall you undoubtedly have him pushed against, head thrown back as his trimmed nails run through you hair, egging you on.
you’re totally in swansea’s office change my fucking mind and he’s sitting on your dad’s desk 😋
“don’t mess up any papers, pretty. don’t want my father finding out you were gettin’ all ruined by his daughter on his desk, now do you?”
“n-no.. don’t mm- don’t want that.”
“then keep quiet and be good.”
he’s so fuckin freaky he’s defo an exhibitionist
you’re a girl- so you obviously brought a vibrator be SO fr w me rn
you definitely press it against his tip while slowly licking up the base
he is SO vocal that you have to tie his hawaiian shirt around his mouth so that he won’t YELL
gets cum on an important paper and yall have to throw it away lmfao
swansea being confused as shit abt where the document went and has been searching the Tulpar and asking all the crewmates if they’ve seen it
oopsies…
#evelyn💋#x reader#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#wrong organ#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#daisuke x reader#daisuke mw#intern daisuke
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Too Good to Say Goodbye (SNEAK PEEK)
Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader
Warnings: cursing, Hurt/Comfort & Implied Smut
(THIS IS A SNEAK PEAK! IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ONE BUT ENJOY THIS LITTLE SNEAK PEAK IM GIVING YOU) I also have a lengthy Logan smut in my drafts but I'm no where NEAR done yet.
Summary: Y/N is tired of constantly being dissed by Logan and he doesn't seem to care, at least not until it's too late.
(it’s uploaded now)
F1 masterlist
Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!
instagram
I clasp my jacket closer to my body as I wait for Logan to open the door of our shared apartment. It's pouring rain and my dumbass forgot the keys, I sigh as I pull my phone out, dialing my lovers number.
one ring
two rings
three rings
four- declined.
*new text from "Logie Bear🐻💙"*
Logie Bear🐻💙: Babe I'm on the sim, give me a few.
Me: I'm out here in the pouring rain and I left my key, You said you'd unlock the door 5 minutes ago.
Logie Bear🐻💙: You fucking made me crash.
Logie Bear🐻💙: I'm coming.
A scoff leaves my lips as I shove my phone into my soak jean pockets that stuck to my skin, a few minutes later I hear the lock click and the door swigs open revealing a less than happy Logan.
"Damn, were you watching our home videos while waiting for me to open the door?" Logan laughed as he took in a soaked me before side stepping so I could walk in.
"I've been outside for 10 fucking minutes in the pouring rain Logan and you're making jokes?" I almost screamed at him
Unbelievable, all I do for him and this is how he treats me?
"Woah babe, take a joke," Logan starts before his phone starts ringing "Yeah? Oh for sure, right now? Uh huh, Okay I'll hop on. Yup yup, just give me 5. I'm grabbing a snack" with that Logan hung up the phone "I'm hoping back on the sim with the boys, so just take a shower and dry the floors, you're ruining the wood."
I wanted to scream, I'm ruining the floors? I wouldn't be ruining the floors if you would've opened the door 10 minutes ago like you fucking said you would.
I made my way into our shared room, grabbing my clothes and speaker before making my way to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, I connected my phone to the speaker and started playing "Hold Me While You Wait" by Lewis Capaldi on a low volume before stripping out of the soaking wet clothes that stuck to my skin.
My shaking hand turned the tap to hot as the water started spurting out of the shower head, which made me sigh thinking about the shower head I gave Logan every time we showered together. Today makes 3 weeks since we last fucked, and that was also probably why I'm so aggravated at everything he does. All this pent up sexual tension between us is driving me crazy.
Before stepping into the now steamy shower I turned the volume up on the song currently playing. Once in the tub, I let all my problems wash off of me and down the drain as I let the boiling hot water hit my skin as I just stood under the warmth of it. After what felt like 3 minutes of pure bliss and silence I hear a faint knock at the door before hearing it open. Peaking my head out the shower curtain I'm greeted by Logan just standing by the door.
"Hey Logie, care to join me?" I said in a low & seductive voice, watching as he steps fully into the bathroom and closes the door. A victory smile makes its way on my lips as I pull myself behind the curtain once more, quickly lathering myself in foamy soap.
I can hear Logans footsteps getting closer to the shower, but instead of getting in I hear him pick up my phone, turn the volume down, set my phone back down and as he's leaving he mutters "Not tonight. Boys are on the game and they're complaining that your depressing songs are too loud."
Are you fucking kidding me?
That had been my last straw. In one quick movement I turn off the shower, throw my robe on and march out of the bathroom and into his sim room.
#logan sargent x reader#logan sargeant#oscar piastri#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#max verstappen#logan sargent fluff#Logan sergeant imagines#hurt/comfort#Spotify#lewis hamilton#lewis capaldi#formula one#f1 smau#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 fic#lando norris#smut#fluff#drabble#female reader#x reader#imagine#fanfic#concept#fandom
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hey babe okay so I saw the first episode and let me tell u u thirsting about helly r (or helen? im guessing that's her outside name) is soo valid and justified she's very pretty and she's banging on doors screaming to get out and throwing things so I obviously admire her lol also this scout guy omg I cannot take him seriously he was a joke character in the good place it was so funny I keep thinking of him but except for that hmmm it's kinda interesting but I fell asleep like 5 times😭 why is it so slow vio why do they show stupid things like him walking through a white hallway and tying his shoelaces i guess am just used to sitcoms i cannot watch these slowpokes I hope i didn't miss anything important my favourite scene yet from just ep1 was scout sobbing in his car before going to work (haha been there done that) and also helly's video she's so animated corporates will truly kill us all this concept is wild tho but like. it's. i thought that wow i can't keep you're giving away one third of your life to a corporation and you're not even going to remember it like how can you waste it lifeis sooo precious. but then I think about all the precious hours i spent in my office formatting idiotic word documents because my seniors said the font looks bad the spacing is incorrect and how tired I was that I just came home and fell asleep and I'm like oh. i loved that line the boss lady said that humans imagined hell but it doesn't exist but the scary part is that what humans can imagine, they can create. so we all gonna die. but anyway yes that's my review of the first episode.i think i definitely missed some important things like i remember seeing some very old guy talking and suddenly he's like I'm petey and I'm like wait YOU'RE petey? where did u come from? but I'll figure it out lol maybe I didn't sleep enough last night
you'll only fall more and more in love with helly lol (also try not to get spoiled by my posts here because i need to see you react to everything a hundred percent authentic). okay in show's defence it's trying to show and not tell, that's why the first episode might seem a bit boring and slow but trust me it'll speed up by end of 2nd episode. the walking thing is show you the shift in his mannersims how outside he seemed depressed and crying while when his innie (aka the severed self) had absolutely no idea at all (the puzzled look at the wet tissue paper and throwing it) the changing of shoes because he isn't allowed to wear outside ones inside it'd have probably make his innie wonder why they're wet (i am realising this as we speak tbh, because his innie has no idea about sky sun snow weather etc) and give him a chance okay forget his previous characters RIGHTTTT it seems like a fucked up concept but if it was possible i am sure soo many companies would take advantage of it to prey on depressed/naive people. like it sounds nice as a concept but (you'll realise this as you watch) in fact is inhuman to that the other part of yourself that is consistently working. lmao that's miss cobel for you, tell me more about how you feel about her as you go on. also get some sleep and try not to be too worried about catching all the symbolism you'll get them as you go plus we have tumblr to discuss anyways mwah
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Since we're talking about forcefem, here're most of the forcefem-related asks I've had in my inbox, some of which are a few days old on account of technically going in the vexatious tag if not exactly kink asks. I wanted to answer one from today on it's own which I'll get to later but I wanted to get to the older ones and also get to a few of the others from today while I was at it.
i just saw a post where a trans guy was showing some messages where someone was (unconsensually) basically roleplaying forcefemming him. despite him telling them that he did not want that and that it was very much transphobic, and he atill got a message boiling down to "you're not a man, silly, you're a girl :D" and. to be honest. this was the thing that stopped the brainworms of "what if the whole concept of transandrophobia is actually transmisogynistic and i am entirely wrong" bc at least some of these people will just say the most bog standard transphobic shit to trans guys and not register it as transphobia. so why the fuck would they be right about anything transmascs experience also on that note thank you for being so outspoken in favour of transmascs getting to discuss their oppression. it's really helpful to see trans women stand with us here, especially when it comes to aforementioned brainworms
congratulations to that transphobe for creating a new transandrobro
the 'forcemasc isnt revolutionary' shit is the most annoying iteration of stupid tumblr discourse. like im going through the tag trying to read some horny shit and oh look. theres someone being stupid and hypocritical. in my horny tag.
people are getting tribalist about kinks and it's depressing
Every time people are saying that trans men & mascs cannot possibly fathom being objectified & fetishized, I think on all of the posts I’ve seen that did that exact same thing. And yeah, some of it might have been kink, so no hate no judgement I dabble in that tag too, but I’ve also seen “get in the dress” type posts that seem to be genuinely calling for trans men to be more feminine, untagged & in the wild, enough where I’m like — am I just imagining this? Like am I crazy? Am I missing something, or was that extremely detailed post about why I MUST stay feminine — or become more — for someone else’s benefit being 100% serious? And, again — if it’s kink, all the power to them, I love that for them, I even occasionally love that for me. But I have encountered enough people who were dead serious that I sometimes want no one but trusted friends & advisors to ever witness me again. And then I look at statistics & feel genuinely ill. And yeah, I’m gnc — and there’s the rub, because while I feel genuine joy being fem as well as masc, I want it to be a Choice, not something forced upon me.
people need to be fucking normal
Yh like ik a lot of shitposts don't have any tags but people have. Really gotta tag forcefem. I've blocked a large amount of people making these jokes + filtered their names n I still see it
I'm sorry, anon. <3
Fuck thank you so much for talking so openly about forcemasc. I’m so dumb I thought there wasn’t a name for that kink that I’ve been into for years, albeit my version is way more weirder. It would be like a… forcemascfem??? Like first it’s forcemasc and then it turns into forcefem and then right back to forcemasc…. And then back to- Idk my gender is weird and my kinky fantasy for that is weird
Cross as many boundries as you want, that sounds rad. Forcefem has a lot of infrastructure to jump off of.
“I’m doing a kink in a non kink way so it’s not kink blog!” Sorry this pisses me off It’s still a kink. Like. If someone made an I-suggest-BDSM blog and tried to claim it wasn’t a kink blog I’m sure more people would see how silly this is but because it’s the transfem approved virtuous forcefem they just let it slide??? Like. You are engaging in a kink and thats fine. You can say there won’t be anything explicitly sexual! But it will still be a kink blog because it’s a blog about a kink! A kink blog if you will! It doesn’t matter if you’re not getting off to it, it’s still a kink! That you are participating in! On your blog about that kink!
It SHOULD piss you off! It's extremely fucking scummy!
what the hell? for like one solid minute(longer than that but i like saying it this way) all the forcefem on my dash was tagged and i could blissfully not have to see it every other post and then just today i had to unfollow a buncha people for an assload of untagged forcefem :/ like im transmasc i think its understandable that i do not wish to see that anyway hope your day is goin well miss velvet
yeah it's praxis to not tag kink anymore
trfs are perfectly aware what the "force" bit means when forcemasc comes up in conversation
strange how that works
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its been 3 days? i think? since qatar and...
a level 100000 landoscar event happened and no one should ever forget about it. i'm serious guys-no other pairing has anything CLOSE to giving up a win not because of team orders or anything but because the team told them NOT TO and they still did it to repay a debt, to show respect, to honor a friendship
ohmygoddoyouunderstandhowinsanethatis-
lewis hamilton is going through stage 5 depression right now and honestly i think it all started from that brocedes montage they made him sit through-
but all jokes aside i started watching this sport because of him and i'm really hoping that next year he can rebuild that spark that roared to life in silverstone, that flickered in vegas. like i dont know what i'm going to do if-
actually not even going to think about it
also if ferrari win the wcc im going to lose my mind. my MIND do you understand me. like what the FUCK was that penalty-but it's not happening so whatever-
oh also the fia continously manages to be one of the worst organizations in sports, and i'm saying this as someone who is an AVID fan of football, basketball, hockey and the NFL, and has gone through FIFA corruption scandals, the NBA and some of the most stupid techs you'll ever seen, the NHL's policies and reffing around hits and injuries? and the current scriptwriters in the NFL for the cheifs. because all of that falls short of letting a literal MIRROR (and debris ig) be out on track for multiple laps.
#this sport is gonna be the death of me#im fighting my demons#(sports teams i chose)#f1#formula 1#lando norris#brocedes#mctwinks#ln4#op81#lewis hamilton#landoscar#mclaren racing#oscar piastri#nico rosberg#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#the fia is stupid#that should be a tage by itself
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I read THROAM for the first time in ~5 years. Here's what I have to say.
Volume I: There was so many characters I forgot about when going into the fic. Pete, Jac, Spencers family. I cant believe I forgot them. Pete will always be a fave because everyone hates him and it makes me laugh. The first volume was always my 2nd favorite, I think it still is. overall, the storyline isn't complicated and I like that. Ryan is such an asshole so I dont feel bad for him one bit in any of the fic. Also, I used to say that the bus crash was Brendons fault (I was 13, okay?) But Ryan was just an unstable motherfucker who truly should not be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind.
Volume II: holy shit. I hate volume two. Not saying the writing is bad but Jesus Christ, Ryan is an asshole. bro literally stalked Brendon after he ran into him at that party like what? I had messaged a friend after finishing volume 2, saying "I'm a really nice person I never wanna make people feel sad, let alone make a whole fictional story about someone being severely depressed and unstable whilst chasing a boy then fucking his bf at the end???" and I think that perfectly sums up how I feel (and always felt) about volume two. other than the fact that I used to say that it was Brendons fault. (I was 13. THIRTEEN) it wasn't his fault. Some parts were, yeah, but it's hard to pinpoint everything that happened on one person. at the end of the day, its a good story I just Hate it (does that make sense) I love it but I hate it? it remains my least favorite purely for the pain it put me through.
Volume III: I love this volume. I always have. Sisky is amazing, we all love Sisky. I will say the iconic song/album references/jokes made me cringe a bit, though. Im not exactly sure what about this fic I always liked so much, I guess you can really see Ryans character growth and finally not be as much as a miserable fuck (he's still unstable dw) Since Ryan is less insufferable, it makes the volume more enjoyable. I like that Spencer and Ryan became friends again, I think it makes the book more enjoyable and tbh I think Spencer rly tied vol 3 together, if he wasn't part of it it would lowk suck. overall, best volume cant wait to host the throam tour where we go to hotel Chelsea then machias.
final thoughts: if I thought throam was 100% good when I was 13, Id say now that I think throam is about 85% good now. (does that make sense pt 2) this fic has sent me back into being 13 and I have been blasting some pretty. odd. (im listening to it rn as im typing this) and listening to this album just makes my life feel more simple. still a solid fic, I think it would be an amazing published book. and I think we can all agree that it would be amazing to see THROAM movies (in our dreams)
Thanks for reading lol
#brendon urie#ryden#the heart rate of a mouse#throam#ryan ross#panic! at the disco#p!atd#patd#pretty. odd.#spencer smith#jon walker
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Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,
<autism rant>
Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.
i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw
well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that
i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏
this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession
and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.
I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it
as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.
I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well
"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.
I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.
Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol
This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright
If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over
#midwest emo teen#midwest emo kid#midwest emo music#midwestern emo#midwest emo#midwest#emo kid#emo#nicole class of 09#jecka class of 09#class of 09#class of '09#i'm litterly nicole from class of 09 i dont care what anybody says I AM HER#mental illness#horror#bad parenting#saw franchise#salad fingers#sally face#little miss fortune
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Since poolverine has been getting everywhere it made get biggy brainrot and me thinking abt analysis on how Wade and Logan work so well but are SO SO UNHEALTHILY mentally ill they need therapy and I mean actual therapy
More on below
Tw: sensitive topic
It's just so funny and depressing
How they're literally two people that have similar circumstances and a similar curse as well. Like if we somehow remove all the comedy and hit soundtrack from deadpool movies. He literally attempted sewerslide on screen????????????,,,,,,,,,?????? Like?????????? How is no one talking about how seriously effed up that is to make this a joke but wade does the walk the talk thing?????????????
Logan man ✋😩 Im not. He literally fits the candidate for idc I'm throwing my life away like while wade deals with the shiz with unhealthy humor he just gets angry. He literally is a good example of those people who could die off in a ditch if he didn't have super healing.
Like I guess that's common with anyone who's found some kind of relief with substance abuse in general 😭 but he just deals with everything by getting mad angry and telling everyone to fuck off like a rabid animal. And he has superhuman strength.
So now comes my point if they end up together it becomes a cycle of "I can make him worse" with the "your freak matches my freak"
Since wade is so graciously taking everything as a joke (even with dangerous injuries) and Logan (in the back of his head) has problems with substance abuse (and literally not even kidding how bad this is actually because of u stop joking abt substance abuse there's a reason why he should probably attend those alcoholic support groups)
Like where does the line end at "too much" bruh.
So one needs to make a fic about them working through this kinda shiz like maaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 👁️👁️ they live together so they'll eventually have to talk about the big elephant in the room. Like god Al just has to sit through 5 seasons of this before they get actual therapy.
Like think about it
If they were regular ppl they would've been admitted in the ward and classified as criminally insane 😩 man they're just little freaks I love them
Good thing they're not regular ppl. But lbr would Logan go back to being "The wolverine" the movie didn't adress that hidden dark asf secret wel nor resolved it. Dp3 didn't also do much for Wade's insecurity to "good enough" for people to notice him nor his sewerslide joke tendencie. Logan also mentioned he didn't feel like he was good enough for the SUIT. Like man insecurities after one another. Like bro someone needs to.help them
Like man 👁️👁️god they're such a perfect match of fucked up. Like PLEASE. I NEED them helping each other. With both of their issues.
#poolverine#deadclaws#I am rambling because I'm hyperfixaring#llike if we take the hit soundtrack and change the colors to dull mode will this still.be a comedy?#man I really need to stop rambling#please talk to me about them I'm.not gonna bite(foams at the mouth)#analysis stuff#possible fics
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ok you made good points for the most part but something in your helluva post confuses me: how in the world has stolas been "sexually abusing octavia the entire series"?
going off of the definition of sexual abuse (rape, assault, trafficking, molestation, coercion, etc.) i cannot think of anything that even remotely points to evidence of that.
surely, SURELY you aren't claiming that just because he said something sexual on the phone in front of her? not even TO her or ABOUT her? that's a misstep for sure, but going so far as to call that sexual abuse is... just not correct.
maybe if he did it on purpose or specifically because she was around, but to me it reads like he forgot she was there and got caught up in the phone conversation. there's no evidence that it happened more than once either, so "the whole series" is a biiig stretch.
i REALLY hope that specific moment isn't what you mean, because that's the kind of claim that really softens the meaning of the term... but i really can't think of anything else that even suggests it.
I feel like theres definitely a way to say "Hey! We seem to disagree on this interpretation of this show! I have no fucking idea where you are coming from, can you explain?" Without turning it into a...definition....of rape.......to the rape victim........and also accusing said rape victim of "softening" language?? Would the term sexual harassment be better?? I personally think it's arbitrary to say "thats not technically sexual abuse, its just weird, stop calling it that" when it's something sexual.....that hurts someone?? Idk its semantics.
So anyway ignoring the vibes you brought to the table, I was talking to my irl friend about Helluva, back when the stolitz shit was happening. And I was complaining because of how CLEAR the abuse in that dynamic is to me. And he was like "I think cuz of your trauma that you're reading into it too much and taking it too seriously." And I was like "IF VIV WANTS POINTS FOR DOING SA REP, THEN IM GONNA TAKE EVERYTHING SUPER SERIOUSLY"
The difference between us is that I was sexually abused, and trafficked(not sex trafficked but still) so when I watch this show, I IMMEDIATELY pick up on things happening there. While he doesn't because he's """normal"""" and not traumatized, so he just sees fun dick joke show about dick and balls. I think a lot of this fandom is a mix of both. People like me picking up on signs, and other people who just are here for jokes and don't necessarily notice all the really bad shit because thats not exactly their lived experience. Completely understandable, I don't hold it against anyone for not noticing it the way I do. But I do see it, and wanna bitch about it.
We're in hell. This show is set in the actual human bible hell damnation hell for hell people. I think there's a way to read some characters as "uwu babies", but I'm not gonna. It's hell. In hell. I'm going to be giving no one the benefit of the doubt, and assume the worst in people until proven otherwise. Especially when the characters in question are dickbags who never actually change.
What Stolas is doing is...sexual harassment? Is that better??? Stolas is openly engaging in pretty intense kinkplay around his daughter and that is in fact, Bad.
(its also entirety possible Octavia knows that this dynamic is sexually violent and is forced to listen to her dad want to rape a guy, and no dont come telling me thats wrong too, fuck off.)
And as someone who's been through the exact same kind of trauma as Octavia, I can say it definitely fucked me up✨ The only thing I'll give Stolas is that it doesn't seem like he's been doing this around her since she was a small child like I was, but its still bad. That's still inappropriate behavior, that's still something he should know to stop immediately when he sees she's around. Octavia is a depressed, struggling teenager who needs love and support while dealing with this sudden divorce. Stolas spends EVERY episode that is supposed to be about them, either tryna fuck Blitz in front of her, or ignoring her to interact with Blitz and or yell at Stella.
Stolas' problem as a character(not a bad thing, this should be a story/character arc) is that he's deeply entitled, and doesn't see how is actions effect others. Stolas is upset that he was forced into marriage? Wow, isn't Stella such a bitch for doing that too him? No empathy for the woman also being raped and abused through this forced marriage. Stolas is gay and wants to fuck? Let's not think about the class difference, and that he's literally holding Blitz' survival in his hands in exchange for cock. Stolas wants the sexual experiences he was robbed of because of his trauma? Who cares if it destroys his family and makes his daughter feel worthless, he wants to sext. His arc should be about facing the fact that he's abusive, and hurtful. He is hurting Blitz, and Octavia with his sexual behavior. But if he was supposed to be a "good" character with "good intentions", then he should have no problem apologizing and ACTUALLY changing. Stolas doesn't seem upset that they're upset, he's upset he got "caught". He's upset Blitz demands respect and doesn't suck his dick the second he shows any remorse. He's upset that he can't fight Stella and fuck all he wants and instead has to deal with his moody teenager ACTUALLY needing attention and support. My comment about "the entire series" is because the only things we see are the bad parts of their relationship with no development, even if its only a few episodes.
Also since we're playing the virtue game, saying "but he didn't do it on purpose" is actual victim blaming and rapist apologist behavior so like, good job?? Saying rape or sexual abuse isn't as big of a deal just because it was an accident, or unintentional is definitely a take to have. Now, I'd say this is a stupid furry series that doesn't matter in the long run, but you're the one whining about language??
Anyway. Hazbin/Helluva are poorly made shows that annoy me. Pls stop fucking with people about shit like "softening" language and all that "real victims" and all that purity culture savior complex bullshit. Its super weird. Rambling times over, its like 5am im going back to sleep. Also I'm proship, this is media analysis not a moral thing except for the part where I was fucked with over language.
#rip the council dealing with me going insane over this ask at 5am#im slepy#also leave me alone lmao#theres a lot more angry version of this in my drafts but im gonna be slightly normal about it#Octavia hits very close to home for me and it annoys me#i hate when i get good abuse rep and the fandom always forgets that the guy they're defending has a daughter#borderlands2 was like this as well and i ufughghg#anyway slepy#helluva boss critical#proship#anon ask#rant
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♡︎❀About me❀♡︎
Erm my name is Brooklyn I'm 14 and I'm bi (feminine) idfk I'm autistic and just a silly little goofy goober😖
I'm a ambivert so silly ik 😖
I really like music usually am wearing my headphones all the time (not at school or with friends)
Sadly I'm a lonely child and have no siblings well that I have met 🤠
My father left with the milk uwu so preppy 😖 so if I make jokes and you get offended I don't care you can leave I'm not forcing you to read this shit and like fucked up family ig if you dont like it deal with it scroll away♡︎
What I post silly thoughts and fandom shit and just music stuff idfk yet maybe just my thoughts
I like the case study of vanitas it's so silly and sigma I ❤️ vanitas lil bro is so silly
My pronouns are she/her, but i dont mind they/them
Dni if you are queerphobic, racist, abelist, support Israel, Zoophile, misogynist,pedophile,just a bitch if you are kys🥰
I sometimes vent cause I can so yeah I'd you don't like too fucking bad 😜
If you don't like me just don't interact with me I don't need your negativity even if I'm negative (such a hypocrite, ik)💀
Don't try anything with me I'm underage and im 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚 and will fight you😠
I like reading depression like idk if it has angst then it's a good book my opinion (no longer human is good)
I also like reading anything that has like an adventure like that's interesting cause my adhd is bad and I can't focus on boring shit
Oooh I like demon slayer I'm still sad douma had to die he was pookie
I also love Angels of death cause eeeeee it's so sigma
My silly silly friend is @homoashell she is so 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚❀
Another silly friend is @thecoolest68 she is also pookie
@littleratboy is my pookie I love them so much <3
AUGHHDUJSUUS my pookie is
My fav color is 💜 and ❤️
My fav words are ooooh or sigma or homosexual and pookie😩😖
I'm in the Helluva boss fandom same with hazbin hotel (they are pretty good)
Also, I'm obsessed with Bungo stray dogs, my fav fandom (Dazai and chuuya and nikolai are the biggest hotties dazai specifically 😖 Mori from bsd should kill himself💀)
Youtube=Johnnie Gilbert, Jake Webber, Flamingo, BENOFTHEWEEK, Danny Motta, Billyhan_ ,Nick Wilkins, Tarayummy, and Clawed_Beauty101
My fav animal is cats I have one her name is ginger and she's do cute I will post about her a lot cause she's sigma I also have a dog he looks goofy he's a Yorkie/Silky and he's goofy looking I don't like him that much my cats better
Also magic and mystery or Coil (ao3 dont fucking judge its really well written ok)
I also like the class of 09 (Jecka and Emily and Nicole are 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚)
I like the Heathers the musical it's a pretty good musical and honestly was pretty fun to watch (dont say you haven't watched the movie your nit a true fan BITCH you dont know my situation leave me alone)
Erm I like music like MARINA (Marina and the diamonds), Melanie Martinez, GRLwood, Asesha Erotica, TV girl, 6arelyhuman, mother mother, radiohead, Rio Romeo, alex g, insane clown posse, Benson Boone, Ashnikko,Mindless Self Indulgences, Olivia Rodrigo ,Mitski(dont judge thats just me ok you can like what you like my Genre of music is very random also i like more just like too lazy to write all of them😜😜😜)
I like art but I'm not very good at it but I try and that's all that matters ♡︎
I like ice skating it's very fun, and I'm pretty good at it ☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
I really like harry potter and the books and movies I hate J.K Rowling she is a terrible person and I don't support her or what she dose
Black butler is also a great fandom I like the angst I know that's bad but OMFG ITS SO GOOD
I like the Heather's it's a good play I watched it on YouTube and it's really sigma
I like the hunger games I haven't read the books but I'm going to ♡︎
A great fandom is the metal family it's on YouTube and glams past and chives past god damnnnnn 😖
Ooooh a great fandom is the case study of vanitas (totally not cause they all fucking hotties)
Probably have more fandoms but I'm not writing them all down will write them down when i remember since i have the memory of an a great grandpa with severe dementia👴🏻💀😜
My anxiety and depression is bad so sometimes I might not post since I physically can do shit or don't know what to write also I do sh but like whatever guys I'm just silly like that I might vent sometimes cause I'm just that silly
I'm very blunt so if you don't like that then whatever your problem but ur missing out 😩💅✨️
That's pretty much it feel free to ask any questions I might answer them ❀
⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆
#about myself#bungou stray dogs#music#magic and mystery#thecoolest69 posts#class of 09#new to tumblr#new to the community#looking for moots#wanna be friends?#going insane#moots#hi?#introduction#black butler#the case study of vanitas#dazai#angels of death#demon slayer#douma#cats#heathers the musical
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DDLC first impressions
so i played ddlc for the first time today, it's currently 6 AM. so first of all, Yuri is my favorite character and i love her personaility, she really cute, but i can't shake the feeling something bad's about to happen to her at any moment. also i love her normal outfit so much it's so fucking adorable and cute i love her :3 and right now i'm at the part where sayori confesses her depression to me, and oh my god i feel so bad for her, like bro my tear ducts. i felt them. i'm really scared that she's going to do something about her depression... you know, suicide. i'm scared, i got really scared when MC left her alone, i don't know whats going to happen too her im so scared. monica pisses me off ngl, i don't really like her poetry, it feels boring, except for the lady who knows everything one. that one was cool. i don't like her attitude towards the other girls, i loved the part where yuri told her to mind her god damn mf business. i ain't ever seen anyone with such a main character complex before. smdh.
natsuri, she's really adorable, i love her poetry eagles can fly, it really struck me for some reason, the meaning is succinct and straight to the point. I'm proud that she was able to get over herself and apologize to Yuri. plus everytime she talks about baking i get vivid imagery of cupcakes that i can genuinely taste so that mighhht have endeared me just a little.
i really like that moment where Sayori was all like "how could you not like squid? it's in your name, Mon-ika" and Monika is just like "that literally makes no sense in English." it reminded me of a moment in JJBA: Steel Ball Run, where a character called Gyro made a joke that makes absolutely no sense in English. it adds like this crazy feeling.
also everytime monika broke the fourth wall so far has shocked me and stuff. like i've never been so affected by a fourth wall break ever.
tbh i never played a dating sim before so it feels kinda weird, cause i just wanna be friends with everyone but they always think im trying to pursue them like nah bro, my heart belongs to yuri always, that will never change, just because i accidentally choose a word you like ten times in a row doesn't mean i have a big fat crush on you.
overall, this game is soo good and i'm gonna keep playing, and i may or may not keep live blogging, idk, sometimes i get lazy lmao.
(Also i don't know where to fit this, but i'm dissapointed i don't get to write my own poetry. it's really stupid that i am, but i actually really like poetry and whatnot so im kinda PISSED that this fucking dude is already mega good at it on day 3.)
#ddlc yuri#ddlc sayori#ddlc natsuki#ddlc monika#doki doki literature club#liveblogging#live blogging doki doki literature club.
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obsessed w ccckk, todo's characterization feels so sharp and visceral and the tension with atsd just feels so palpable auuugh 💆♂️💆♂️. its worse than hatesex its like a blowjob but the cock is laced with cyanide. im looking forward to the next chapter :3
anyways for my yaoiful question i think you mentioned b4 what attracted atsushi to todomatsu but im curious what attracts todomatsu to atsushi? also how would you say todos impression of him shifted since. (gestures vaguely)
Kyaaaaa thank you 🙈 always happy to write about the cock that kills
In my mind palace todomatsu is a spiteful gayboy who's into fat guys. Idk how gay culture is in Japan but I can imagine fatphobia runs rampant similarly to how American gay men operate. There's being fat and then there's "gay fat" among skinny gay cruisers. Todomatsu doesn't know anything about this scene (but who's to say Atsushi doesn't?) but operates in a fatphobic society and has enough wherewithal (shame) to hide this fetish. This is based on his actual kink with belly buttons coupled with the weird incestuous sumo camp skit in s3 where todomatsu is undeniably horny about those sumo wrestlers. I'm sure you could interpret it as a different reaction but ultimately the joke of that skit was that he was a raging sissy who didn't wanna conventionally engage with a tradition that is seen as an exclusively masculine ritual. But i digress.
There have been enough scenes where, if todomatsu is given attention, particularly in a comedic light, it's to be the butt of a homophobic/misogynistic/transmisogynistic joke. However, it's real. It's a consistent theme exclusive to his character, separate of any of the others. He's scared of marrying and settling with kids maybe the most of any of them. If we can assume that he genuinely likes his gender nonconformity on some level beyond the home theater improv the brothers perform, that there is a conflict.
If, let's say, the lattice of coincidence connecting society manages to introduce you to someone new who's giving you relatively positive attention in all the right ways that feel real in the way that's Just Yours Alone like the other stuff. The other stuff that flagged you to receive positive attention from a normal guy who just so happens to be bigger. Who just so happens to have better living conditions, with hobbies and friends. There's conflict in an acquaintanceship that gives you everything you want, like a path of least resistance that gels well with your depressed dopamine seeking brain and your terrible terrible terrible impulse control.
Danger lurks in the abyss between stranger normie kinda lame acquaintance to friend with complex thoughts and feelings that are achingly familiar without ever really being spoken on pipeline. Reacting to the positive attention positively means you have bypassed the first checkpoint (does this twink on the brink of twink death fuck with fatties?). You went from envying what you don't have, to basking in what was thrown at you like a dog living off treats, to then having to face the consequences of your terrible impulsive usual intoxicated actions. accepting something as real means having to care about it in a way you aren't familiar with needing to do.
Real is filling in blanks that contradict your highly specific narrative that exists only in your head because you plotted out your life, sick of being an NPC in your own life. Except now it's out of your control and has consequences like taking away the free dopamine machine. Maybe that's when love eclipses fun?
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