#I'm hoping to post them all together January because it was really important that day c:

[gayferrari]

hello!! i love your blog <3 i do have to say that i wasn't a charlos fan (?) but now thanks to you i'm obsessed!! i was wondering if there's like lore or key moments that feel like basic information to know

thank you!!!! I'm happy u enjoy it here❤️ I do have to say EYE wasn't a charlos fan either when I started this blog. I wasn't planning on it. I can't remember when it started but it was in between them beefing in China and them beefing in Spain. Something about how they keep finding their way back to each other showing genuine warmth and mad sexual tension but also they aren't really friends and "when my helmet is on I have hated him and he's hated me" or whatever Charles said. Absolutely unhinged (positive).

There's a lot of genuinely cute charlos lore from earlier days (2021 / first half of 2022) that I WILL revisit one day. However if I had to make a top 5 of my personal favourite bits... they're all post-Silverstone 22 and they all have the common theme of "wow I can't believe they still look at each other like they need a room after THAT."

I think it really drives home the weird sexually charged push-pull goofy vibe of their relationship the rest of the time

5. Singapore 2023. That was a sexy Carlos moment first and foremost, obviously but the reason I'm counting it as a charlos moment specifically is that Charles's driving coach recently came out and said what we were all thinking: that watching his teammate have a flawless weekend from start to end while he couldn't quite catch up motivated Charles enormously to Never Let That Happen again(*) and metaphorically lit a fire under his ass and he's now having the best season of his life. Thinking about this seminal post by @/steviethenarwhal about how Charles and Carlos are constantly used as a benchmark for each other (among other things, it's a great post) and also thinking about how massively competitive they are in everything they do. Singapore 2023 is a charlos moment. to me.

(*) it just happened again in Mexico. I hope this lits another fire under Charles's ass for 2025 reasons

4. China 2024. The time Charles's manager said they had made up with a big kiss. They had a hissy on-track scrap during a sprint, which was already kinda sexy if you're into that (as a divorce enjoyer. I am) and then Charles's manager had to go and said they'd made up with a kiss. They're never escaping the toxic couple coded allegations.

3. Interlagos 2022. PLEASE CONSIDER THE CHAMPIONSHIP. This is a fundamental charlos moment to me because it encapsulates so much about 22... Charles going from triumphant to struggling at wdc p3 in a season that was full of blunders, while Carlos also got his first win and had some amazing drives that season but they were overshadowed by the dramatic irony of Charles's failed championship bid. Anyway, Brazil: Charles in P4 during a race where RBR are struggling, with Max already crowned champion, this could be his chance to make up points on Checo who was currently wdc p2. Except Carlos is ahead of him and heading for a podium. Charles asks for a swap on radio, a bit whiny, a bit shameless. Every point counts. He said: give me my teammate's podium 🥺 Charles who historically has really been a good boy when it comes to complying with team orders even when he had to grit his teeth and bear it, now asks for this one thing. Except it's a pretty outrageous request, a gifted podium 😳 He doesn't get it but god I love that he asked. If u squint this is kinda representative of charlos's whole dynamic at Ferrari that's like “guy married into his wife's family” (Charles is the wife). This race lives in my head rent-free.

2. This mid-January 2024 pictures of them driving to Maranello together.

This picture is SO important to me because of the context. It's mid January. Charles is about to announce his contract renewal. He knows Ferrari are talking to Lewis. Carlos knows his contract renewal has stalled. He might already know it's not happening. In all of this: they are still driving to the factory together. They are STILL. Driving to the factory. TOGETHER. If this doesn't scream I could throttle you sometimes but I can't give you up. I don't know what does it.

(whose pov is this from? either)

1. MONZA 2023. CHARLES BEEFING WITH CARLOS'S MUM VIA TWITTER LIKES. CARLOS POLE. CHARLOS ON TRACK BATTLE 😳 and they looked SO HOT that whole weekend.

[rubyhoshinoamastolfo]

WTF 2024 ???

Okay so.

In September, I did a post with my kinlist (that got 25 notes, that's insane omg), and I was happy to show my feminine character kins: I wasn't that into my gender questionning...but now...

Listen (no, read), I really started to admit that I may be kind of transfem at the end of 2023 (the last two weeks): I had a big breakdown during the last work week, and I felt that it was...very open. Like, I was really able to tell how I felt. Even if it was a breakdown, so something bad, I felt very understood by my partner and their boyfriend (yes, poly couple) and I started getting transfem / femboys videos on TikTok some days later. The holidays were great and I felt better and better about my gender, even if it's still in questionning, I feel more at peace and ease.

The last argument came on the 29th because I told how I felt about my partner's relationship, that I felt left behind. It brought a crisis, but still...I'm extremely relieved that it was not exactly jealousy I was experiencing: a kind of jealousy but not the one I thought it was. I'm extremely happy to still have my partner, even I know I'm also happy to have their boyfriend by my side. He's not MY boyfriend because we don't match enough, but he's still important to me.

Didn't feel down since then (okay, school has not beaten me up yet, let's wait for it-), didn't take any medication since my big breakdown. I know things are going to change, and I will feel down again sooner or later, because of my work, my exhaustion... But I know it won't last, and I will always have people beside me.

BUT SINCE THE BEGINNING, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT WHAT I WANTED TO.

MY KINLIST.

January means new season for anime. And this season, I watch 4-5 shows (unlike these 10 lasts seasons when I watched 2 shows maximum-).

...And I'm getting attacked. I often get kins. I use them to understand me better and to have role model, to tell to myself "this character acts like this, it could fits you well, you should try". yeah, neurospicy things, thanks anxiety.

Look, NO READ, before, I kinned nearly only male characters. Sometimes, the simp and the kin mixed together but welp, it is what it is. Now...There's Ruby Hoshino, Kyoko Hori, March 7th, Princess Syalis... AND YOU NEED TO ADD THESE ONES BECAUSE WHY ART THOU ATTACKING ME LIKE THIS????

SHE COULD SELL HER SOUL FOR FOOD. SHE CAN BE BOUGHT BY GOOD FOOD. OF COURSE I'D LOVE HER

Okay, you'd say "basic", but yeah, it is. But I love her. It's not reaaaally a kin, it's just some relatable things that sooth me, and she has ikemen around her (especially Ise)

Okay, not a kin at all. I'm just simping a lot on his demon form. As a "cute demon queen", I need demon kings for me. I'm still waiting to see more of Maou-sama and I want to see Beelzebub from "I'm the villainess so I'm taming the final boss" again. In fact, give me hot demon kings.

2024 really started greatly. Maybe because I feel like I'm starting over something, on good basis. I really hope it will last, because I love feeling like this. I never was a sad person, I'm rather a tired person, but my tireness can give me big down because my brain cannot follow everything when its tired or hungry.

I'm really meaning it. @kittyfeli and @problemskinnie , thank you so much for being here for me. You don't know how much you helped me, especially these last weeks. Everyone else too, but you two really are special. <3 <3 <3 <3

[lost-technology]

Hey. Please please please don't do anything drastic. I know it seems really dark right now, and it is. Yesterday was a horrible day for everyone and it will continue to be hard as we all process. But it's so so so important that you keep on living through that.

One half of this that is absolutely true is that you need to keep on living to spite them. You need to live longer than him and laugh when he's gone. Your life in itself is resistance and that's infinitely valuable.

The other half is that, no matter if you believe this or not right now, the world would be darker without you. I mean this really and truly. I don't know you in real life so I can't speak to that, but you bring a lot of positivity and unique views to the trigun fandom. Your reblogs are how I found a lot of the trigun blogs I now follow. Your comments and discussions on Rem make me happy to read, just grinning in real life because someone cares so much about a character that needed more time. It's simple stuff really, but that's what's important. Even people you've never spoken to like me are positively impacted by your life. And that increases tenfold for people who know you in real life that you do speak to and that love you and want you around no matter if they say it out loud or not.

Please keep living. You bring something unique to this world and you're a nice person, which goes for a lot these days. And if you can't believe that, live for spite, just for now, and maybe the other stuff can come later.

Please live. I'm sorry for being so long winded but you really do have a much bigger impact than you could ever see without someone telling you and I want you to know.

We can all get through this and you're not alone. Being together is how we can find strength. So stay and be together with us. Please.

I'm sorry for the long ask. Just want to make sure you at least hear this stuff. You're important.

I do need to get on the phone with my therapist. It's just... I feel like the hits just keep on coming, neverending in my life. This hope to have the first ever Madame President and to not have a man in office (again) who shows all signs of going full fascist - it is bringing up grief in such a way that it seems to be bleeding into my lingering grief over a family-loss I had last year. I'm feeling similar ways. Last year, my nephew died (adult, just on the cusp of 40, my partner's nephew). He was my best friend, my gaming buddy and we were the three amigos on holidays and whatnot. We had him up for almost an entire year on Covid-lockdown living with us. He got me through my partner's heart-attacks when he had those in previous years. Matt was the one who broke the news to me that there was going to be a new Trigun anime because he knew I basically lived and breathed Trigun back in the day and still counted Vash as my personal hero. And then, in January '23, he was gone - cause of death unknown, probably his heart giving out - because he had some health issues. I basically had to go through that. I've been feeling like I've just gotten to pulling myself out of the muck of that, was just starting to feel better (with some random meloncholy still hitting me), and now I'm running into yet another big thing that's making me think "What is life even for?" - There's no justice here. I have no power. There is no rhyme or reason. I also lost a couple of aunts during Covid times, both eldery - one to the disease itself, another through something unrelated, both in 2021. I wasn't as close to them anymore, but it hurt. I had to go into inpatient psychiatric in 2021 because some misunderstandings, a huge fight, a dogpiling (of me) and a public tumblr callout post in one small niche area of the She-Ra fandom just made me lose it. I was accused of plagerism (not true. There was a misunderstanding with someone regarding idea-exchange and what I was allowed use in roleplays on a small roleplay discord. I did legit read things wrong, but it's not like I ganked someone's ideas for a publically available fanfic or was trying to "steal their characters" like they whined to everyone in the fandom about), but because anyone accuses of that, immedately everyone else will side with them and not even look further into it, I was suddenly losing friends - I freaked out, myself and got to harassing some people in a defensive snarl - and then some asshole had to take it off the discords and make it public, which meant I was shunned by an entire fandom and was basically told that I was human garbage and believed it. I did something untoward to myself and had a little hospital stay. The person who intervened to save my life was that now-deceased nephew. And so, I've just been going through hit after hit, some of it being hangover from "We all got crazy under Trump and under Trump's attempts to get back into power" and now... that's a thing again... I am also on Social Security / Disability and am worried about my future. I worked very hard to get it and it might go away. My partner was on the cusp of getting it until they raised the retirement age and who knows he might not get it. We might die freezing under a bridge, I don't know. There is always the question of "Well, now or later?" that looms in the mind. "Murdered by the State or go on my own terms?" I want to be brave like Vash and Rem, but they are fiction and I don't know if I am capable of their strength of heart. Thank you for talking to me.

[faceglitchsworld]

In the 9th of January, a group was born to bring us joy and wonderful music. This group came from the moon. Each member had bond with it. And today, they're celebrating five years together with their precious moon, us.

Happy Anniversary, Oneus 🥺

Last year I decided to dedicate a birthday letter for each member of the group and now I want to give a last tribute by writing another letter to them. And I added a drawing of mine here.

I don't post my drawings on main, I have a sideblog for it, but for this anniversary I decided to do an exception. It's not the best drawing I made since I didn't hold a pencil in months and I still need to work on their officials mascots' designs better. Surely you'll see them a little different if I'll make fanarts of them more often.

But wait, the drawing is just a part of this post, there something more to add here.

Dear Oneus, another year has passed and you've turned five years old. I wanted for this day to come. The number five has become a very special number for you and, on a minor part, to me. I confess that I'm a little biased because your brother group has five members too along with another group who's very special to me. But it's not only that. I always loved and appreciated all the effort you've put last year, you worked hard on everything you put. Seeing all of you putting all these energy in everything, even the most simple one, made me wish for a break for you. I'm still saying it, even though I know you're quite slowling down a little with your activities recently. But I can't trust you. You're always so full of energy that you don't want to stop, aren't you? You love us to the point that you would spent every inch of energy just for us, am I right? But despite this, I really want all of you to take a little break, something that would made you recharge and coming back fresh and with new energy. Last year you finally got the occasion to see Europeans ToMoons showering with love during your concerts, I'm petty sure you've been surprised by how the crowd cheered you. I wasn't there, sadly. But during the tour I always had you in my mind and my heart, hoping that each concert would have turned to the best. I really wish that you'll come back here and, who knows, maybe you'll finally see me in the crowd too. I'm just another fan for you, I already know that, but I would be very happy if I'll finally have the occasion to see you. You're special to me, you've become one if not the most important group I could find, I don't know what would have happened if I couldn't have found you. Maybe my life would have been the same but probably less colourful than what it is now. I wouldn't have found the same joy I have now just by being by your side.

I already wished the best to each one of you last year, writing all my birthday letters and making the best wish I could say to each one of you. But I want to renew my promise.

Seoho, I hope you'll give us more and more songs where you can show us your voice and comfort us when we are at our lows. You have millions of fans who love you and thank you every day just for existing. Please, when you feel down, think about us and the lovely messages we send to you every day.

Leedo, I wish you'll write more and more songs for us as time passes. I've fallen in love with your poetry and your way to express your inner world and I want to see more of it. My biggest wish for you is that, one day, I'll see your name on a Oneus' title track. You deserve to show us more of you and I assure you that, no matter the result, I'll be glad to see you express yourself more through the music.

Keonhee...I would be repetitive with you. I already expressed my love to you when I celebrated your birthday. And like that day, I can't express how much I love you. You comforted me so many times this year, especially towards the end, that I can't thank you enough. I just wish that you'll be always protected and that you'll find the same comfort I found. But I know that you already found your special place. Oneus is your special place and I wish it will always be.

Hwanwoong, I wish for you that more and more people will appreciate how much artistry you are when you dance. It's sad that last year not so many people understood that but don't make it too much of a worry. Your moves, even the littlest one, show how much effort and creativity you give to us every time. Please, don't give up. You are our little tiger, our special tiger, a tiger with the biggest fierce and strength we can never see.

Xion, this is the first time in ages that I call you like this instead of Dongju. You don't know how many times your stage name brought to me the memories of Kingdom Hearts and you keep doing it. I just wish that, this year, you'll finally have your moment; your "main protagonist" moment where you'll finally shine and prove to everyone how much you've grown. If I'm here, it's also thanks to you. You've been the key who opened the door to the world of Oneus.

I think I've spent too many words already. I really want to say more but my language can't contain or express the love I have for each one of you. I can't say more, except "I love you".

Happy anniversary, Oneus, for the next five years and beyond.

[teememdee]

2023 ART SUMMARY!!!

2023 was uhhhhhhh a year! And I made art! And I’m going to talk for a long time about everything I did month by month! Yippee!!!

original individual posts can be found in my #tanner art tag!

JANUARY

Started off the year with my favorite skrunklies sleepy and snuggling. Then sleeping together while holding one another is so incredibly important to me, they’re so cute and I needed to draw it. Struggled with Kai’Sa’s face but I particularly like the drapery of the pillow behind them.

FEBRUARY

First off, just a simple Kai’Sa piece for the Vibes(TM) and background practice. I was also fairly miserable and when I get miserable I draw Kai’Sa being miserable as well. I love my favorite character of all time <3

Then a quick Valentine’s Day piece, soft gradient map stuff. Love my skrunklies, hopefully this year I can make something for the day that isn’t rushed

MARCH

In March I FINALLY finished my Star Guardian Kahri fic, be the light to carry me, and drew Kiko and Ina being adorable together to go along with it. They’re SO cute and people LOVE that fic. Chapter 3 ended up being a whole 20k words and every time I re-read I’m amazed that I wrote it.

A kiss for Kai’Sa’s birthday! This was actually two sketches mashed together because I had a good Kai’Sa and a good Ahri on separate attempts. Love Kai’Sa’s smile on this one.

NOW. Strong contender for my favorite piece of the year. Captioned “please don’t lose yourself,” my K/DA-verse Kassadin’s very dead wife’s ghost weighs on him, begging him to not get lost in his grief and lose sight of their daughter. Kassadin feels lost and broken without her. I love the emotions in this one, and I think the idea comes across even without knowledge of my headcanons. Love it so much.

APRIL

Full-body piece that took me all month. I just love this one so much. It’s just pure Kahri, pure love, pure joy. Pose inspired by Blake Belladonna from RWBY’s leg pop during the long-awaited Bumblby kiss. This piece just makes me so happy.

MAY

Oops! No art! Was too busy being on a (student) film set every weekend as well as dealing with classes and multiple other stressors. I did START a piece though, but wouldn’t finish it until the middle of June.

JUNE

I actually did the first sketch of the Evelynn piece in February, but I decided to revamp it in May, and then when school finally set me free I finished it, and it turned out exactly how I wanted it to. Her hair was a labor to render but I'm so so pleased with how it looks, as well as the blood. The first time I've finished a fully rendered Evelynn piece!

Naafiri is so fucking cool. Upon her reveal, I was seeing so much incredible fanart and I just needed to get in on it. The shapes and points are just so good. I used to draw dogs all the time as a kid, and my younger self would absolutely flip out at seeing this. I did this piece in one day, and I have no idea how I pulled that background off but hopefully I can do it again some day lol

JULY

Two drastically different vibes here. Realized it had been forever since I had drawn Kahri so I just wanted to make a cute summertime piece. Their hands should be bigger and it bugs me but this is still really cute, I missed my girls dearly.

And then my very very sad man Kassadin being very very sad about his very very dead wife. This is what I call his phase 2 design, when he's at the peak of his grief (spiraling, as emphasized by the background) and feels just so sad and alone. In my head this and the March piece are part of a series that I hope to continue.

AUGUST

Just one piece that took me all month because I was quite busy in August, and Runeterra Kahri pieces take forever, but as I always say, it's always worth it. This pose comes from mellon_soup on instagram, who makes a lot of really great pose references for artists to use, highly recommend checking them out. This piece is just so soft to me. Captioned "'you're beautiful, you know that?'" they're saying it to each other, two people that struggle with their self image finding love and confidence in the other. Also I'm so very happy with the background. I love these two so so so so much, they're my world.

SEPTEMBER

One of my goals for this year was to branch out in the fanart I made. Baldur's Gate 3 came along and I love watching my best friend play it, we love Shadowheart and I just wanted to draw her. This came after a lot of sketches of both her and our favorite Tav that ended up changing how I draw eyes. The rendering of her face here is also something I'm proud of, her nose looks great. And again, the background! This piece didn't get a lot of attention at all but that's okay, I made it for me and I'm very happy with it.

OCTOBER

STAR WARS TOXIC YURI WENT CRAZY THIS YEAR!!! Wolfwren (Sabine Wren x Shin Hati, from the Ahsoka TV series) had me by the THROAT for a solid two months or so, I haven't been that feral and deranged over a ship in a hot minute. They had me frothing at the mouth every episode even though I did not like the show overall. Anyways. First piece is a redraw of the part in episode 4 where they just have the most charged eye contact of all time, and I decided to take that in stride with inspiration from Horimiya, a favorite anime of mine, during particularly emotionally charged moments, the background changes and there's a particular color silhouette behind them. It really fits that moment of the show and I am SO proud of these faces, especially Sabine's. Drawing from a real human face reference was kinda new to me but it's taught me a lot. The file size also ended up enormous somehow idk lol

Then, my most popular piece of the year, on both tumblr and twitter. I LOVE hand imagery, I love subtle hand touches, I churned this out in I think exactly one day, it's so soft it's so cute and I totally understand the overwhelming positivity it received.

NOVEMBER

I was not doing well at this time in the year. The state of the world just had me in a horrible mental state, I wasn't taking care of myself well at all, I couldn't get myself to make art, especially something happy or cute, it just felt wrong. But then sometimes you feel something so strong and specific there's no other way to process it than to make art. To make a long story short, earlier in the year I thought a girl liked me, I liked her back, but it turned out she did indeed have a boyfriend the whole time. We didn't see or talk to each other for a few months but in November we (and the bf, lol) met up again. When she saw me at the door she smiled at me so sweetly and it was just the worst feeling ever and I just had to hide it behind a smile and a wave. Oversharing aside, this is a style I'd wanted to execute for a while and I'm really pleased with how it turned out, would love to make more like this.

DECEMBER

All of this was done / finished in the first two weeks of the month because then I got sick + was visiting family + jet lag took me out. Kinda sad I didn't get something done for Ahri's birthday or a traditional Kahri Winter piece but that's what January is for. Anyway.

Sometimes you just want to draw girls kissing and sometimes you wanna make it a little suggestive. Not much to say. Proud of the drapery on Kai'Sa's sleeve and you can always tell I love drawing hands.

Now it's time for classwork. Here I just have two pages but I've posted the whole comic on its own, this was for my "Art and Text" class, I have it printed in a booklet and my classmates + friends have responded to it so sweetly I'm really proud, I really really want to make more comics. This project was a culmination of so many inspirations from other artists and I'm really happy with the execution even if it was really rough for me to manage my time well for that class.

Then for my "Fiction and Allegory" class, two of my friends and I made a storyboard film (which I don't want to share publicly, but if I know you you can ask for a link) and during the all-nighter two of us pulled to get it done on time, I decided one scene needed music instead of diegetic sound, so I churned this out on garageband in about an hour. Would definitely love to try my hand at making more music in the future. Wish my classmates / teacher liked / understood the film more but oh well. I learned a lot and for the thousandth time, I'm proud of what I did.

IN CONCLUSION:

I ended up with less full pieces than 2022 but what I did create in 2023 are big, detailed, emotional pieces, and I'm more than satisfied. I think my skills in rendering, backgrounds, and colors really improved and I'm looking forward to how I continue to improve in 2024. This upcoming year has a lot of scary stuff ahead (namely graduating college) but I will come out the other side regardless, hopefully with just as much art I'm proud of.

If you read all of this, thank you!! If you've liked, shared, or commented on any of my art, thank you!!!!!! It means the world, always.

[certifiedgoofball]

Hiii this might be kind of long but!! Don't forget how much I love you ever okay? I know it's hard right now and might be for a while but it has to get worse before it gets better!! And I'll be here through it all like you have been for me!! You're worth so much more than you've been through even if you did bad stuff in the past, I did too, and that's not the person either of us want to be anymore! You're doing so so good I promise and I feel so loved by you!! You're the sweetest partner I could ever ask for and you understand me so well. You know me better than I know myself! And honey if you ever lose yourself completely again try to remember that you can always find yourself again! And it's an expirence to get to know yourself!! I hope one day you can find your inner peace and I can be right beside you for it <3 here's all the things I've remembered about u so far! Correct me if I'm wrong :)

Your favorite color is purple, you have a scar on the left side of your forehead from when you were a kid, but if I looked at you it'd be on my right, you LOVE jambalaya, your state I remember, your full name (sorry I'm incapable of forgetting but I'd never use it against you I promise, you've always been Pluto to me), your email I remember, your compression socks, POTS, HPD, NPD, BPD, ADHD + Autism, and HEDS (not diagnosed yet I think? But loooots of signs), the stretches you do!! Your heart rate always goes up when you put the sheets on your bed, we got together 06/07/24, you're ginger (get better soon...) but you have a lot of blonde in your hair, blue eyes, you really like the idea of having pink in your hair (any color would look beautiful on you, mi media naranja), you love Bive from regretavator, you love playing roblox with me, you get nervous on calls (honestly me too), you're trying to get better (you are.), you have 3 brothers (can never remember which is which but I do remember one has epilepsy), you also have a lot of signs of schizotypal! You've met Henry, Aspen, Frye, Jecka, Jack, August, and Ophelia! Maybe a couple more? You like going on walks, but you prefer the insides more, which is where our dates will be! You love movies, but don't usually watch them fully, you HAD a friend named Colin (I think they were an asshole or something don't quite remember), you love Muse, MCR, Deftones, and I believe Slipknot? Not sure on the last one. You used to not like the way rings feel because of sensory issues, not sure if that's still true but I'd assume! You have synthesia with colors going on letters and numbers! You don't feel emotions like other people, but you still try your best! (I notice. Keep going, I promise you're getting better.), you love canine poetry, biblical references, and when I put flower references! Your favorite flower is Peonies, you hate coffee because of the smell and prefer tea, specifically this one your mom buys that's raspberry something? Golden Peaks brand. You're a Capricorn born January 19th, you HATEEEEE the smell of weed (you're so fucking real for that one.), you love flower scented shampoo, you love baking and wanna bake for me!

Had to consult our dms a couple times for some of these, but I promise all of these are equally as important in my mind, just as you are!

Feel free not to post this if it's too much information you don't want out, but text me when you read all this!!!

I love you always and forever, mi media naranja. <3

THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER IM GONNA CRY 😭 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PAST THE RINGS OF SATURN (GET IT? CUZ YOUR NAME)

[itsbinghebitch]

I was trying not to get involved in everything going on right now but after reading your last post I just felt I had to say something. Firstly you seem like a really mature and thoughtful person which is such a breath of fresh air in online spaces in general. The way you're handling the situation is really admirable and your words really resonated with me. I'm relatively new to this fandom (I watched KPTS after the shitshow in January) and, after learning what happened, I've done my best to keep my distance from the cast and BOC and just focus on the story and characters. Based on what I'd read about the case I was willing to give Build the benefit of the doubt but the recent leaked messages make that nearly impossible which is also preventing me from enjoying the series which I've come to love. What makes it worse is that I'm an artist who loves VegasPete and, just like you, every time I try to make art with them, I keep thinking about all the awful comments Build made about Bible and it feels plain wrong to draw them together. Even for someone like me who's not emotionally attached to the actors it's really hard to separate them from the characters and it's making my fandom experience pretty miserable. I have very complicated feelings about the whole ordeal - on one hand as a queer person like you I'm tired of people's homophobia and bigotry being swept under the rug, but on the other hand I've seen first hand what an abusive relationship can do to a person so I can't help but feel some compassion for him too. I truly hope he can reflect on his mistakes and heal and grow as a person. Maybe I'm just too old for celebrity culture and drama but I do feel the need to be able to discuss issues like this one in a calm and level headed manner instead of falling victim to black and white thinking and turning things into a witch hunt. Sorry for the rant and feel free to ignore this message, your post just really resonated with me and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the matter. I hope you have a lovely day/night ❤️

thank u sm for this message.... i really appreciate you taking the time to write about your experience and i'm glad you felt like you could share ❤️

there isn't a clear-cut answer to the whole debacle. whoever tries to sell you one is a scammer or is speaking out of an emotionally clouded place (as i was last week lol).

taking a look back at everything, i think it's important to acknowledge:

1. multiple things can be true at once: you can feel hurt by build's comments and still feel sympathy for his predicament.

2. you should be able to discuss these things without feeling like you'll get, idk. fandom black points. or get blocked by everyone who thinks differently than you (which happened to me), or even hounded and hacked by people to the point of getting your blog shut down (which happened to blramblings).

3. it's really fucking hard to be a fandom creator in these circumstances. i'm really sorry to hear your art has been impacted. especially in the case of vegaspete, i tend to believe there was an "aura" inextricably linking biblebuild as actors to who they were representing on screen. no one but biblebuild could've been vegaspete for me. it was their contrasting facial features, it was in their on-screen rapport and chemistry for me. their choices in portraying the characters, the behind-the-scene interviews... that aura mesmerized me for an entire year literally. and it's not only fine to admit that the situation complicates your fandom art, it should be an *active conversation* we have as fandom creators. because let me tell you, i don't write fic on top of my insane job out of the goodness of my heart. it's because of that spark of joy i feel, that stepping out of the regular day to day. the moment that joy isn't there anymore, it becomes labor. and let me tell you one thing i DON'T do. it's FREE LABOR corporations fuck me on the daily already so why would i let them do it as a hobby too

so yeah thanks so much for sharing your thoughts <3 i rly rly appreciate it and sending you lots of good vibes. who knows what the future holds in store for us etc. etc. but we out here!!!

[omni-scient-pan-da]

Okay so story time

I'm writing this on January 6th, 2022, it's a Thursday and almost 11:30pm and I really should be asleep by now if I want any hope of being a functioning human being to get through the quizzes I have in two of my AP classes tommorow but instead I'm here

Six years ago, as of the day I'm writing this, I was absolutely terrified of change, I hated the thought of it and I hated that everything suddenly was going to change when I felt like I had just gotten the hang of things

Six years ago, as of the day this is getting posted, I felt like the side character in someone else's story

I was there for emotional support to help other people shine, but when I had issues of my own, I was overlooked and all I wanted was to be somebody important, so much so that I dove into world after world of fantastical things that happened to fantastical people because they were good people that fought for what was right and lived happily ever after

And I was convinced that my life was going to be horrible because I so badly and desparately wanted to be special in some way, I wanted super powers or to marry into a royal family or to be transported to some magical world where the only issues I had was figuring out how to do the thing that was hard but obviously right

I was already unique, just not the kind of unique that made everyone flock around them because they were so cool and special, I was the kind of unique that stood out but made bad choices and decided to surround myself with people that weren't the best for me and I felt so disheartened because of that

And then, a few months later, my whole world fell apart and so I thought maybe if I just dug myself deeper into these fantasy worlds, if I just wished a little bit harder, if I was just a little bit more pure of heart then maybe, just maybe I could find the magic of the world that lay hidden just beneath the surface and would allow me to be just like the people I read about in books

And somehow, overtime, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to find the kind of magic I was looking for, if it did exist at all, it was going to find me and spending all my time searching for it wasn't healthy

And I think by that point, that was around the time I discovered fanfiction and the internet, and I started staying up late to dive into fantasies of a different kind but now? Now they were of fantastical people that had gone on fantastical journeys getting a much needed break, living happily ever after with the one they loved most, doing normal, ordinary things in a way that was so breathtakingly beautiful it couldn't help but captivate my attention

And so I started to romantize those things instead

Going to college and falling in love with your painfully straight roommate only to realize you're both gay and crushing on each other

Train rides, road trips, comicons, found families, spending time with friends, spending the night together when there's only one bed, falling in love with someone's words and realizing you actually know who the person is, texting a number scribbled on a bathroom stall, finding your soulmate against all the odds

And I started to glorify all these things that suddenly seemed attainable, and it got me through the day

Sure it wasn't happening now, but one day in the future, here was something I could actually obtain one day and I just had to wait until I had the funds or the transportation or the friends to do it with me

And then along comes a day like any other

Just... A normal Saturday, a week before the project is due if you want to receive extra credit

The day we're all going ice skating

And it's crazy and chaotic but it's fun, and there's laughter and sure there's yelling and frustration, but it's all in good spirit and the wind was freezing but we were all suffering together and my hands burned when I put them in that warm water but ultimately, Mystic was just trying to stop me from getting frostbite

And then we're standing in line for an HOUR waiting to get skates after walking for an unnecessarily long time in the freezing cold and my feet hurt like hell because I'm wearing skates that are two sizes too small for me and I can't balance for shit

And then we're ferrying across to the restaurant for dinner and it's nice

I'm struck with the realization that even though I'm exhausted and my social battery is running really low I'm happy, so happier than I've been in a really long time, and I'm not even thinking about the Psychology work I have to do when I get back home the next day because I am in the moment, I'm sitting and stealing cheese curds from Mystic and eating melted ice cream and making stupid jokes with my friends and wandering around Target aimlessly with my sister before going back home and passing out from exhaustion and it was fun

I feel loved

So much so that I made a collage of the day's pictures and made it my home screen, so I could look back on it and remember what a day December 11th was

And now, as I sit here at 11:40pm on a random Thursday, knowing I should be asleep, I can't help but remind myself that while the idealized versions of day to day life you see in fanfiction tropes are great to think about

And they have a possibility of occuring, and they could totally happen

It's the days that are messy, the days that don't go as planned, the days when you come home and immediately fall asleep because you're so tired that you look back on the fondest

When you're running back and forth across the neighborhood because you can't find your folder and you're supposed to go get froyo before showing up to the concert and your stupid uniform dress won't cover your bra straps you're having fun, and you're feeling loved and you're having the moments you dreamed about having

They may be messy but they're chaotic and messy and loveable and real

So now, today, on another December 11th, I would like to take the time to remind myself and anyone that made it through my rambling to find beauty in the now

"Embrace the mess" as fictional famous podcast creator Cinda Canning once said

Find your love and your joy and your hopes and dreams and aspirations in these moments right now, when they take you by surprise and people remind you that they love you

Even when it's not the romantic love you've been reading about for forever, you're loved and you're whole and as long as you can keep making it through the day, as long as you can keep reminding yourself to breathe, you'll stumble upon the December 11ths of life when you're meant to, and those will be the moments worth going for, not the glorified versions of fanfiction tropes that are much less likely to happen

Happy December 11th everyone, and may you have a good a day as I did, a year ago

[stormblessed95]

Jikook Dynamics Through The Years: 2014 pt. 1

The posts for pre-debut and 2013 dynamics can be found in my masterlist as well as I'll link them here for you. We are now finally getting into 2014! This is a interesting year, and I'm probably going to say that for every year going forward now 😂 oh well. We get to see even more how much they were all already so close. Jimin and Jungkook included. Something important to keep in mind that I'll be sharing moments, AND my personal opinions, along with facts. My opinions are my own. You can agree or disagree. I encourage you to go and check it all out, see this content for yourself as well and form your own opinions during this time frame too. I will be splitting this up into 3 different posts probably to manage the length and be able to add more links/photos in each post.

We literally start the year of 2014 off with Jikook. On the second of January, the first BTB of the year is again, a minute of JK filming Jimin acting goofy and dancing. Jimin has always been one of his favorite models when JK is in charge of the camera 🥺 JK is singing/rapping and Jimin is dancing to whatever song he randomly starts singing. Both giggling their heads off the whole time until it abruptly ends with them both exhausted from holding the camera up high and dancing so much lol

Our next BTB of the year gets posted of the Maknae Line runway show. Lmao Jimin plays revolving door to Tae and JKs runway walks and it's silliness and rough housing and just fun. We see how they are all so playful together, it's good natured rough housing between friends. The video cuts off with Jimin grabbing Tae and then looks like he is about the grapple with JK.

On 140106, Jimin posts on Twitter a Maknae line photo. The caption saying "we started the day with some pumpkin. TaeTae ate it all though." And the look Tae is shooting him in the photo is comical 🤣 but they all look very cozy together on that couch sharing a plate 🥰

Followed up with our next moments being from the short BTB of JK dropping honorifics for JM. He went down showing all his hyungs on camera and calling them by name-hyung. And showed Jimin last with just a Jimin-ah. And immediately giggling as Jimin swatted at him for being a brat. JK did this a lot, being kinda bratty towards Jimin to get his attention. Jimin in turn, allowed this, thought it was funny and indulged his behavior. If it had truly bothered him, JK would have stopped. It brings me back to his statement on Rookie King, where he says he teases hyung because he likes him so much. It is a playful banter between them.

On 140119, we get the behinds of them receiving the best New artist award at the Golden Disc Awards. It's your general Jinjikook rough housing and brattiness, and then maknae line messing with their Suga hyung as he is talking the whole time too. I swear, JK tried tried inhale Yoongi with how hard he was sniffing him as Jimin laughed and pointed 😂 which gets followed up a few days later with a mostly Vhope focused BTB of the guys all dancing/singing to trot. Vhope dancing together and drawing the others into it. Jikook do a little "duet" together though too. Including it here mostly because it's insanely cute

On 140126, they post an OT7 log, giving well wishes to each other for the coming year of 2014. They go down the row. There really isn't anything happening here between KM, but I'm including it because I think it shows their general attitude approaching this year, things they had going on and their personal mindsets. And it was precious seeing their hopes for each other. It was also the first time mentioned about Jimin going on some extremely strict diets that ended up getting ARMY worried about how little he was eating. And Tae voicing that worry and telling him he just wants him to be healthy was very heartwarming. Young Kookie just listening to everyone very intently too. They are so hardworking and humble.

February kicks off with them dropping their Skool Luv Affair Showcase Making DVD. It's about 90ish minutes and has a few Jikook moments but is mostly just showcasing them working hard, being goofy together and their playful energy. They also had solo questions, and JM and JK both listed Love as one of the 3 things they felt like they needed in life for Happiness. The other moments I feel are worth mentioning from this DVD are their responses to the question about what would happen if the members all liked the same person. I think Jimin very affectively shuts down all those weird shipper theories and worries about him dating anyone else or liking anyone else if another one of his members also liked that person. If you know with this one, you know.

And during a small segment of the DVD about JK loving his hyungs, it was tons of cute clips of JK hanging out with his older members while waiting to perform, the jikook one was adorable, holding hands and dancing backstage together. I won't lie and say it didn't give off a bit of a different vibe to me then the other clips, but maybe that's just my bias coming through.

On 140212, Jimin posted a series of 4 photos of him with jikook on Fancafe, with the caption "Real Men Brushing Teeth." It was super cute.. They were all quite obsessed with this real men, manly men type of attitude in these first few years. Jimin being named the most manly among them during the showcase DVD mentioned above. And on the 18th they appear in a video message together for Hobi's birthday, everyone else filmed solo and the other members even question why they did it together with no response. Lol the whole video is emotional and cute as heck. Watch if you haven't! 😭 always makes me tear up. The beginning of them sticking together through many video messages and ending remarks even though they really don't have to be doing it together at all. Lol

Also on the 18th is this 60 seconds Interview. This is the first time (I believe) that JK gets asked to give his rating of the members on their looks as the Maknae and ranks Jimin last (himself 6th) and this then sort of becomes a running gag joke in the group. One that Jimin laughs off well here.

We get another interview on the 22nd, this one not as silly as the 60 second one, but clearly still them Goofing off. Jimin spends a lot of time with his hand on JKs thigh. Jungkook again gets asked for his ranking of the members looks. He again, ranks Jimin last here too and Jin first. Jimin does seem a little disappointed, but still definitely is willing to joke about it with everyone else too and laughs it off.

The next moment we get is a Jikook log, our first in a while. It's posted on the 24th and is very sweet. Jimin gushes over JK a lot in this one and there is also a lot of talk over how close the two of them are, how they sleep outside in the living room together, work out together, practice together. He also talks a lot about how JK has grown up. He also mentions here the past 2 interviews where JK ranked him last in looks repeatedly. Jokingly shaking him and saying he is going to kill him while JK giggles.

My opinion is that JK isn't actually ranking Jimin last in looks. I think he doesn't think ANY of them are last in looks. I think he was a young kid here who was put on the spot in an interview and didn't know what to do. I don't think he wanted to rank anyone last and I think he thought Jimin would be the best able to handle the jokes and teasing, not realizing that he was hitting on Jimins own insecurities a bit there too. It falls in line with the way they teased each other back then. So I really think it was more of a "I think Jimin can handle the joke the best" thing. JK looked up to him a lot and Jimin was always giving off a very confident and secure vibe. Where as others, such as the rapline, had expressed insecurities before and had plenty of haters attacking their looks at that point. I think he just thought Jimin would brush it off the easiest. It was never something he seriously meant anyway and the joke took on a life of its own after all this anyway too with JK and all the others because Jimin himself played into it and laughed it off. And then once the joke became a thing for them, it spiraled out of control and feelings weren't *really* considered a whole lot. They were young, that happens between all of them at times when jokes jokes too far. That's my take on this whole weird dynamic there anyway.

Posted by Big Hit:

I'm including this video link, not because there is a jikook moment here, but more to "disprove" a jikook moment. BTS did a skit for Mnet before their Just One Day performance on the Mnet stage. And I've seen the moment of Jimin pushing Tae away from JK in sooooo many jikook jealousy moments. Using this as proof of Jimins feelings for JK, that he didn't want Tae to be pretending to kiss him. It's taken out of context though. When you see the whole thing, it's obviously all scripted. And right before that, there is a moment basically exactly like it with Jin pretending to go kiss JK and Suga stopping and pushing him away. No one was jealous, no one was trying to actually kiss or seduce JK either. They were all just following the script for this little skit. Which was... weird, yes, but it was all acting between all of them here. BTS does weird ass skits sometimes. We all just need to accept this 😂

Another link for the 140227 심심타파 SSTP Radio Broadcast. JK gets asked "As the Maknae, when I'm lonely, upset or worried... the hyung that gives me the warmest comfort and best attention is...?" And JK answered "Jimin hyung" and Jimin wrapped him up in a big hug smiling super big. Just once again showing how they are one of the closest duos already at this time and JK was already considering Jimin to be a place of comfort for him. Just One more thing to disprove all those jikook weren't close or JK didn't like Jimin in the early years theories. They've always been wonderful friends together for sure.

I'm also including this link to their radio show interview with Jungchi and Harim, not because of any moment that stands out as something more than anything else, but because around 40 minutes in, they all talk about how JK is more carefree, playful, loud, etc with them then he is on camera, where he gets more nervous with his interactions and is a little more quiet and solemn. Adding it for those who want to watch, and because it's something we get told often about JK over the years and speaks to recognizing how it may have affected his actions and dynamics with his hyungs that we see.

Link again to JKs entrance to high-school video. He brought all his hyungs out with him for this one along with his mom and dad. Everyone was soooo proud of him and doting all over him. "Our pretty Jungkookie" and talking about how proud they are. It was adorable. And they all went out for a meal afterwards too. No big KM moments in this video, but it leads us to these 2 posts over this day, also posted on the same day 140304. Jimin made a Twitter post about not only their performance that day, but about being proud of JK doing his entrance ceremony. He also made a fancafe post featuring a photo of the back of JKs head. The caption about being proud of their youngest and saying that he is "very close with Kookie now." And finally the photo they posted all together on Twitter. That we know they recreated later on in 2017 after he graduates too

Playful JinJiKook BTB once again showcasing JKs love of girl group dances and Jin being very fond of his dongsaengs. And when they all did am activity about how God made the members for each other, JK got Jimin and his was very cute. Lmao they were all teasing each other a bit with it. JK said that God made Jimin with cuteness, abs, dance and spilled/forgot all of the height 😂 Link to full video of them "presenting" their papers over the members. And Link to the translations for all the members!

Mnet posts BTS on their twitter for a countdown. It includes 4 photos of jikook being very cute together. Jimin and Jungkook on 140321 host a special MC on Music Bank together Link below. They also had an official Twitter post announcing their MCing together, with the photo I used at the very top of this whole post. Lol

And on 140322, Big Hit posts photos of Jikook together being cute. JKs smile in the first one and Jimins smile in the second one 🥰 they were trying to be tough manly men I'm sure

At the end of March, they did an Interview with Haru Hana Magazine Vol. 23. Here is the full translation of their solo interviews. And here is the full spread of the Magazine with their interviews and photo spreads. The only parts I want to mention here is that both JM and JK mention the other as the sporty guy when assigning "school roles" to the members (they click!) and that Jimin twice brought up JKs shyness with the female lead in the MV. Once in his own Interview mentioning how that was supposed to just be shot with JK and the female lead actor. But that JK was so shy and so Jin and Jimin ended up taking parts of the shot so he had less to do. And he interjected in Jungkooks own solo Interview to say it as well. JK saying that his facial expressions in the MV were because he was trying to show that he wanted to opposite sex to become his woman. Lol to which Jimin interrupts and giggles saying that he only 16 and wants them to be his woman, but that he couldn't look the female lead in the eye at all. You can see the exact translations in the links above. But Jimin! Let him breathe! Lol

Jimin makes a Twitter post with a photo from a Thai photoshoot they did back at the end of 2013. His caption translated would be: "While looking through the photo gallery I discovered a photo during our Thailand photoshoot hehe I want to throw my body into a swimming pool again.. Oowah~~ If only Summer would quickly arrive ㅜ the hyungs look stuffed hehe." (Not my translation.) This Thailand photoshoot and DVD get released later in April

April kicks off with the release of Hanryu Pia Japan Magazine, April Edition. With them being interviewed over their Boy In Luv MV. When asked at the end about what other attractions were in the MV, both Jimin and JK mentioned each other's parts in a teasing manner (JK teasing Jimin about cleaning the toilets scene and Jimin again teasing about JK being shy and having a hard time during his scene with the female actor). Full Translation here.

Photos posted on Facebook from the behinds of filming for Thailand photo book. My personal favorite of the Maknae Line 🥰 photo again from their shoot back at the end of 2013

Then we get this BTB, nothing major really. Just then having fun together, but their smiles while looking at each other and the giggles are precious. It's all just very cute.

BTS took over MBC Show Champion's Twitter before their performance and its JK who posts! And he takes and posts a photo of Jimin. His caption translated is: "How it’s Jimin he’s so cute right?!Today will be broadcast 6PM KST Pleased be looking forward to us !!Writer BTS Jeon JungKook." (Not my translation).

This bangtan bomb has nothing to do with jikook really. Im only including it for the one line that is more coming off a Vmin moment. Very early on, like 9 seconds in, when about to start their dance, Tae decides to make a grab for Jimins *area* lol. Jimin very quickly deflects him and they all laugh about it, but Jimin laughs and points at the camera awkwardly saying "in front of the camera...." before they all get back to the dance. I think if nothing else, it shows they are aware of and adjust their behavior a bit while they are in front of the camera. Not saying they are groping each other off camera, but the jokes are probably rauchier/dirtier, the skinship and physical intimacy is probably higher, their comfort level is higher, the guards are down, etc. It goes hand in hand with the comments from all the members about the difference in how JK acts/treats them on and off camera too. Something to keep in mind.

BTS at KBS2FM Super Junior Kiss the Radio official interview on 140414. You can find the translations here. The only one I'm wanting to draw attention to is Jimins call out response to JK and Hobi. He says "Jungkook, why is hyung always 7th place in terms of looks rankings?! Is hyung really that ugly? J-Hope hyung, When you’re bored, you’re always messing around with your dongsaeng, always dissing me. Do you take me for a fool??" Its the first time we see him really give a hint that it bothers him, this 7th in looks rankings ongoing joke. It's the first time he says that he IS insecure about that, even if it's said in a more joking way, it's still the first time we see him bring it up and not just totally blow it off and laugh it off. And he mentions Hobi teasing him a lot too. He brings up teasing between 3J again in later interviews this year as well that I will get to eventually.

140425 brings us back to M!Countdown and a backstage interview. Clips from this interview are again very popular in jkk compilations. So I'm sure you've seen it, but if you haven't seen the whole thing, make sure to watch. This gives us our first video of Jimin jokingly asking JK out on a date and claiming he wants to spend their next day off together. JK doesn't really reciprocate this desire in this video. No, I don't think this is Jimin confessing his crush. I think this is him playing it up a bit for the camera, but also needling and pushing at those walls that JK still always has up in front of the camera. Wanting to push his boundaries a bit more while still expressing his want to be even closer to the maknae then he already is.

Link to video with English Subs:

So this wraps up the first 4 months of the year. I think it's important to remember and keep in mind that this is not everything they all did these 4 months nor is it even all the jikook moments of the past 4 months. This is a lot, yes, but it's the ones I felt like drawing attention to. My opinion here is that this really doesn't give us too much of a shift in dynamics from 2013. What it shows us is that Jimin and Jungkook were close in 2013. And in 2014 they started to get even closer. Jimin very much so also wanted us to KNOW that they were even closer now then they were before. And he very much so wants to continue to get even closer than they already are too. Hence the teasing and asking for more time spent together too.

Add in that we know JK isn't as shy or withdrawn from his hyungs off camera as he sometimes is on camera, it becomes even more clear how close they already were and just getting closer and Jimin pushing for that closeness a lot.

Add in again that they teasingly complain about JK teasing his hyungs too much and how a lot of that is centered towards Jimin. How Jimin is already letting him get away with everything. How JK already seeks out Jimins attention and affection and how Jimin already has a soft spot a mile wide for his maknae and wants to be even closer still then they are. He clearly loves JK a lot and loves spending time with him, and vice versa too.

So in conclusion, no, I'm not seeing any shift in feelings between them during this first part of the year. It's all still very friendly, but they also clearly are special to each other already too and find a happiness and comfort in each other and playing together. It's all very very sweet and I love seeing it so much! We start seeing a bit of a possible shift in their behavior with each other I the next coming months of this year too, especially in Jimin, which we will talk about in part 2!

Thanks for reading all this and getting this far if you did! I know it's a lot!💜💜

[a-womans-rhetoric]

Natalie Wynn's "J.K. Rowling" and Disruptive use of Women's Rhetorical Tropes: A Defiant Reply to Transmisogyny

ContraPoints, surrounded by an opulent, candle-lit set and adorned in witch's garb, leisurely pours champagne into her glass — she's ready to breach the internet's hottest topic of January, 2021: her childhood idol being outed as a transphobe (link here). The video itself being over an hour and a half long, I would be hard-pressed to claim that I could ever hope to cover its entirety, comprehensively, in a single post. So to save-face, I'll be dedicating this space only to breaking down her most frequently used rhetorical tropes, one by one.

Irreverence

"Joanne, I wanna talk to you, Joanne! [Fans herself with a rainbow paper fan with the word "BIOLOGICAL" written across it] What is it about Joannes? I can't catch a break from these people" (00:23-00:29, emphasis added).

Wynn's introductory lines immediately open a dialogue with J.K. Rowling — however, this invitation of discourse is defiantly "irreverent" (reminiscent of Nomy Lamm's punk-feminist style in "It’s a Big Fat Revolution” (1995)). Contrapoints, herself a transgender woman, is aware that her very existence is considered in opposition to the TERF-ideology that Rowling subscribes to. Thus, she's rather playful — even openly disrespectful — with her diction: calling the British author by her first name in a mocking-tone and flaunting her own trans identity to the camera (in a way that would likely offend the fragile sensibilities of a transphobe). Her personal tone (with ample use of the pronoun "I") servers a duplicitous purpose: a simultaneous message of "sit down and listen" and a fair degree of "I don't care if you can't accept me."

"So, now that 2020 is finally over, I think we can let the record conclusively show that it was a year whomst is bad. And on top of everything else going on, truly the last thing we needed was the author of Harry Potter coming forward to announce there's two things she can't stand: bigotry, and the transgenders. (00:31 - 00:50, emphasis added).

Finally broaching the subject at hand directly, Wynn employs kairos alongside her irreverence. Kairos, or the rhetorical use of an "opportune moment," holds incredible weight in the first month after 2020: the year in which the whole world fell into a stasis. Characterizing Rowling's transphobia as a collective "the last thing we needed," is also rather dismissive — she unites herself with her audience with the pronoun "we" and invites us all to groan at the exasperating nature of Rowling's bigotry.

Claiming the Right to Speak / Personal Experience

"This is a painful topic for me all around because, as a transgender woman, I am honestly really hurt by a lot of the things Joanne has said in the last year. But I also know what it's like to be the target of a Twitter mob" (01:36-01:47).

As she begins to touch on the topic, Natalie Wynn claims the right to speak on the issue of Rowling's transphobia — a type of bigotry that directly effects her. However, Wynn also situates herself partially with Rowling in her acknowledgement that receiving Twitter backlash is a terrifying experience (an experience, she argues, that the human brain is not prepared to handle the scale of, 01:49-02:39). In treating her subject with such dignity — and adding her own deeply personal account— ContraPoints creates a credible ethos in the beginning of her video essay. The audience is inclined to listen to someone who has been directly effected by the subject of Rowling's controversy (transphobia) and someone who is, rather compassionately, willing to empathize with those who would wish her harm. Although the generally sassy, glamorous, and irreverent tone of the video still appears soon after (see: the above image), her opening up for this somber moment garners a fair degree pathos in the viewer — we, as human beings, are inclined to sympathize with people who are open about being hurt.

Metis (Embodied Rhetoric)

[The following ContraPoints quote is addressing the above J.K. Rowling tweet, content warning for transmisogyny] "Transphobes love to play this game where they pretend that trans people just don't understand basic biology, that's our problem! As if I didn't start taking female hormones because I'm acutely aware that my body is not the same as a cis woman's body, that sex is real. "[Fictional TERF character] You will never be a woman, Nathan. Every cell in your body is male and has a Y chromosome." Really? That's crazy. How you'd you learn so much about science? You know I don't really feel the need to have a second X chromosome, I get by with only one, I make it work. I actually like the Y chromosome, I think it's a little more dainty, you know, it's little softer, a little more petite. The X chromosome has a lot of extra appendages, and don't you think? I don't need anymore of those, thanks. No trans person thinks it's possible to change chromosomal sex and to pretend otherwise is to argue in bad faith" (08:47-09:34).

If you can excuse my gargantuan quote, I hope you'll agree that the dialogue ContraPoints builds here was just too good to cut short. Within this excerpt, we see Wynn's use of irreverance and personal experience blended seamlessly together. For this YouTuber, the personal is perpetually political — especially when her own identity is constantly taken as an ideological stance. She uses her own expertise in trans issues to pick apart just how disingenuous Rowling's assertions are — even accusing her of "argue[ing] in bad faith" with her reductive claims (later, taking specific issue with how Rowling treats trans-ness as a costume). But, here, she also directly invokes another rhetorical trope: that of metis, or embodied rhetoric. Natalie Wynn specifically references her transgender body as a sort of counterpoint to the condescending "sex is real" claims by TERFs. She cites her intrinsic desire to pursue hormonal therapy as evidence that she — and other trans people like her — are all "acutely aware" that there are chromosomal differences between themselves and cis women. With this salient statement, she then follows with some humor: which, again, utilizes her trans body in her rhetoric. Her characterization of the Y chromosome as "more petite" and playful declaration of not needing "extra appendages" lightens up the often dark tone that arguing for trans rights and liberation can take. The clever points she makes are by no means weakened by her humor — if anything, the audience is more willing to listen to someone who can "joke about themselves" (so to speak) while still arguing an incredibly important message.

Naming and Defining Issues

"When I see Joanne tweeting about how trans people think sex isn't real and they're erasing same-sex attraction and they're silencing women, alarm bells are ringing because I recognize these as familiar transphobic talking points, specifically TERF talking points. "TERF" means trans exclusionary radical feminism. God are we still talking about this? I promise this is the last time. So TERFism is a hate movement that disguises transphobia as feminism. ... The fundamental problem with TERFs is not that they're mean. It's that they're politically reactionary, they want to reverse the progress of trans liberation." (14:05-16:02)

In her definition of TERF rhetoric, Natalie Wynn outlines some dog-whistles that are obvious to her, as a trans woman. She calmly explains to the viewer that, oftentimes in the present-day, rhetorics of exclusion are thoroughly disguised; TERFs, specifically, hide their rampant transphobia as a form of feminism. However, she further clarifies that the specific "danger" that TERFs pose is not from their cruelty — it's from their fervent dedication to strip away trans rights through political means. By specifying this danger, Natalie Wynn shifts the conversation away from empty discussion of offensiveness/terminology, to issues which directly affect the lives of trans people every day.

[This portion addresses the picture above] Also an act of naming and defining, ContraPoints makes a distinction between "Direct" and "Indirect Bigotry." She argues that many people envision bigotry as a festering, public, frothing-at-the-mouth hatred — a phenomenon she dubs "the Westboro Baptist Church theory of bigotry" (20:06). In bringing attention to the human tendency to think of people as exclusively practicing "direct bigotry" — envisioning them as a sort of delusional "other" — she then forces the audience to contemplate the relative omni-presence of the more covert (and possibly alluring) "indirect bigotry." This definition, crucially, requires introspection. By allowing ourselves to think of bigots not exclusively as "Westboros," we're made to adopt a much more nuanced view of subjects (most) generally prefer to keep black-and-white. Natalie Wynn uses her J.K. Rowling case study to complicate this 2D view of "The Bigot," inviting others to more carefully examine how politically reactionary views develop.

Phew, this was probably the longest post I've ever typed up on tumblr! Hopefully, I succeeded in demystifying (or at least adding clarity to) some of the specific tropes ContraPoints uses (that are common to women's rhetorics as a whole). Thanks for reading if you stuck around this long, and my ask box is always open!

[weraceasone]

Hey :) I'm sorry, I'm quite new to the whole F1 fandom.

But did Max Verstappen did abused as a child? Or what is your post about? I didn't really find anything online..

Have a good evening!

hey there! welcome to the f1 community, I hope everyone treats you well 😊. feel free to ask me a question if you’re wondering about something! 🧡

to answer your question, I will first give a ‼️ HUGE TRIGGER WARNING: abuse ‼️, so if anyone that is reading this right now doesn’t feel comfortable reading about that, please don’t feel pressured to continue reading. I will also tag this with a trigger warning, so people who have the tag blocked won’t see this.

I will try to link as many articles as possible, but a lot of them are in Dutch which I do speak, but I know that not everyone does of course, so I will try to translate them as good as possible.

so let’s start with the most important one: Jos has gone to jail for assault. he first had to appear in court because his ex-wife, Sophie Kumpen (which is Max’ mother), accused him of harassment and assault. according to her, Jos had threathened her by text, assaulted her and slashed her tyres three times. Jos brushed this off by saying that he acknowledged there were some “relationship problems”, but that he thought the legal proceedings were excessive. he never went to jail for this, so maybe you would think “oh, maybe it wasn’t true” but then it happened again. in 2012, his then girlfriend accused him of abuse and even attempted homicide. on the 4th of January 2012, Jos deliberately hit her with his car and this is how he ended up serving 8 months in jail.

Jos’ own dad accused him of beating him up. apparently between the Hungarian and German Grand Prix back in 2016, there had been an incident where Jos started beating his own dad. his dad, Frans Verstappen, said (and I quote): “We've seen before that Jos has loose hands, but this was the limit. Jos is very bad tempered.”

apparantly Jos also got into a fight back in 2017 and beat someone up. he was taken into custody and actually had to go to court again.

so, not the best start, but what did he actually do to Max? well, a lot and Max keeps telling these things like they’re some sort of funny story.

for example; back when Max was 15, he lost a race which apparently “he should have been able to win easily”. Max made a mistake, as you do when you’re young and inexperienced, but Jos response to this was a bit off. basically Jos stopped at a gas station in the middle of Italy, kicked Max out of the van and left him alone. and mind you, 15-year-old Max did not speak one word Italian or English. Max had to call his mother to pick him up and Jos did not talk to Max for weeks. Max has said in an interview before, “I’ve never had any problems in F1, cause nobody has ever been as hard on me as my dad.”

in a Carnext podcast Jos and Max did together a few weeks ago with David Coulthard, they talked about how Jos would hit Max on his helmet after a bad performance and how others in the paddock would be concerned, but according to them it was “tough love”. they also said that Jos used to make Max drive around in the cold for so long he couldn’t feel his fingers, just to get the data. Jos also made Max drive karts in the rain on slicks deliberately so he could find the grip. (via @struggleism)

only a few weeks ago at the Turkish GP, Max explained that he won’t use padding because his dad will laugh at him if he does. I quote: “I remember my very first F3 test I did, after one day I couldn't hold my neck straight and then I had to put the padding in. My dad was laughing at me because I was using that, and since that day, I refuse to put padding next to my head. I'd prefer that my head falls off then I'm running with padding! So it will be the same also this weekend.”

there’s also been plenty of rumours in Dutch media that Jos would physically abuse Max, but there’s no proof for that so I won’t go into that any further.

I bet there’s more, but that’s all I know. I think it’s safe to say that he’s basically just a piece of shit. I hope this cleared everything up!

[arcadiancrows]

so it's basically a new year, 2021 really just flew by, I don't even know what happened! it was life freaking June and now it's just a few more days till January again! what even is time???

but hey! we're still here! we are kinda okay? the world is definitely still burning but we are not dead yet so.... yay?

yeah! yay!

I wanted to make a post about the good things that happened to me this year!

there aren't that many for sure because hehe, I'm still a fucking disaster but hey, you only need a few and I'm happy for them!

first of it's definitely the fact that I more or less finished college! there's still a few things I need to get done but I did it!!! it took me a lot of time, especially since I dropped of my first college years ago. I was so lost at that time... so disappointed in myself for wasting everyone else's time, so angry and sad.

and I mean I still am? definitely super lost too but in a way I'm also found.

scared as shit for the future, but a bit hopeful!

secondly is that I've started to feel more comfortable in what I want to wear and to love my body a bit more!

same as with the first one i am still far away from what I want, I wanna dress more fem, I wanna use more makeup and wear cute dresses! and I wanna love my body too

is been hard.... a lot of times I'm still just trying, and a lot of times I still hate myself. but I'll keep trying

(also I got my ears pierced and I've wanted that for years now, soooo I'm happy!)

nest thing is that I feel I've been doing better ^-^

for a long time I've been the same kid I was, scared and alone, quiet because nobody will care about what I have to say, lost in my own head and thoughts. scared to talk and getting deeper and deeper in a dark place.

and I kinda still am.

I might still be quiet, and hard to deal with... but sometimes I'm not as scared, sometimes I almost feel like I can be better and that there's people who care about me and do listen to me

and I'm so grateful for every single one of them!

and lastly and more important

this year one of my favorite people in the world and I started dating!

and every single second has been amazing!!

literally the best thing that has happened to me in years is getting to know this person and on top of that she likes me??!?

I am so in loved.

it's has been hard of course since it's a long distance relationship and I wish everyday we could be together, that we could hold hands and do dumb things together, go to the supermarket, do meaningless chores together, cook for her, and walk her dog.

and we hopefully will do all those things in a couple of years

but ye @gardeninthevoid you have been amazing, you ARE amazing! and I wish nothing more than to spend even more time having amazing days together!

and ye

maybe these aren't the most like, exciting things to everyone

but they are to me, and I'm glad I've experienced this year.

even if some things have sucked, and even if I've had bad days and bad weeks, I wouldn't change anything.

[bopinion]

2020 / 51

Aperçu of the week:

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours (Lewis Carroll / Alice in Wonderland).

Bad news of the week:

Today, Germany's federal and state governments decided to switch from the 'lockdown light' that has been in place since November 01 to a hard lockdown. In addition to gastronomy, leisure and culture, now retail, schools and kindergartens will also close from next Wednesday until January 10, 2021, and outdoor restrictions will be tightened to real curfews.

In principle, this makes sense, because two criteria are reaching their limits: the capacities in the health sector, especially intensive care beds in hospitals, and the health offices can no longer track the contacts of infected people. The increase in the numbers of infected, seriously ill and dead could hardly be slowed down, let alone reduced, with the measures taken so far.

Unfortunately, this shows once again the powerlessness of politics in the face of the renitence of large parts of the population. I do not mean the annoying and constantly growing group of corona deniers, vaccination opponents and conspiracy theorists. But those who believe in principle in the sense of the restrictions and wear their masks in the supermarket, but find the restriction of personal contacts somewhat exaggerated. And therefore gladly times an eye to squeeze, if the 50th birthday of the good friend is lining up, each Thursday at John's place poker is played and watching soccer alone is boring. That reminds me strongly of wrong parking and speeding: one is aware of the prohibition, but allows oneself a certain freedom in the interpretation of the rules. Besides, most of the time it goes well, you get a ticket maybe every twentieth time. So it can't be all that bad.

Fiddlesticks! Scientists agree that neither schools nor retail stores are major infection drivers. And that in addition to clusters in nursing homes, for example, which can be easily traced, it is above all the contacts in private life, which are still hardly reduced and which can just hardly be traced, that contribute to the spread - the so-called "diffuse infection incidence". However, this can hardly be sanctioned, because neither the manpower of the forces of law and order, nor our legal system (the constitution defines the "fundamental right of inviolability of the home") are suitable tools for an effective prevention of these breaches of law. And the people know this very well.

It is quite simple: if a society does not "function" on the basis of regimentation by an authoritarian leadership, as in China, for example, it is dependent on a solid value system of self-responsibility and solidarity on the part of its free citizens. Unfortunately, however, this apparently remains theory, because it is hardly lived out in practice. Therefore, policymakers are forced to take a multitude of small but implementable measures and hope that the sum will achieve a sufficient effect, because the one truly meaningful and efficient measure is simply not implementable. Unfortunately, however, it is precisely these small measures that cost society dearly: from the financial rescue of the small boutique or the self-employed trade fair builder to the long-term psychological consequences for the youngest children, who can no longer go to kindergarten but are parked in front of the television by their mothers working in parallel in their home offices. Restricting social contacts, on the other hand, would be free of charge. Many thanks to all the inconsiderate egoists out there!

Good news of the week:

The six months of the German presidency of the Council of the European Union are drawing to a close. Expectations were originally quite high, with the team of German Chancellor Angela Merkel and EU Commission President Ursula von der Leyen promising a high degree of pragmatism and constructiveness. But then Corona came along and the agenda was completely overturned.

At the end of the week was the last EU summit of the heads of government of this half-year. And hardly anyone expected any significant progress to be made on any other issues besides the pandemic, such as quarantine rules, vaccine licensing or commuter border traffic. And then there was a remarkable press conference after the final 22-hour marathon negotiation. With results. And what results. Here are my personal highlights:

The distribution of EU funds for regional support, in this case specifically agriculture in Hungary and infrastructure projects in Poland, will be linked to compliance with a defined rule-of-law framework. Specifically, freedom of expression for the media in Hungary and independence of the judiciary in Poland. For this reason, these two countries had threatened with a general veto - unfortunately, unanimity is the rule in the EU when it comes to really important issues. And now they actually agreed to it.

Then came the adoption of the EU budget. As this is valid for seven years, it has always been a challenge with many national sensitivities for the small print on page 2,411. This time all the more important, as the budget contains trillions in reconstruction aid for the countries most affected by Corona. A done deal sometime during the night.

And last but not least, the tightening of climate targets. Now, by 2030 - that is, in the usual timeframe for such mammoth projects: by the day after tomorrow - greenhouse gas emissions are to be reduced by 55% rather than 40% compared with 1990. A sporting, but necessary goal. Combined with a variety of green factors such as closing coal-fired power plants, insulating homes, more sustainable agriculture, protecting biodiversity, more humane livestock farming or expanding electromobility while promoting hydrogen drives. Adopted together.

Of course, one can always wish for more. And especially in environmental protection, too little is always done too late. But for me, the decisions taken at the end of this EU summit show one thing above all: cooperation works. And it makes sense. For everyone involved. An important sign, especially in times of increasing isolationism and unilateralism.

P.S.: Oh yes, there is still no agreement on the manifold regulations for the post-Brexit era. But that's not news, that's a farce.

Sense of achievement of the week:

The other day we watched "The Queen's Gambit" on Netflix. A remarkable series about the development of a child prodigy into a chess grandmaster, brilliantly starring Anya Taylor-Joy. Yes, a mini-series about chess can indeed be entertaining and exciting. Vaguely, I remembered that we must have a chess set - somewhere. It finally turned up and last week I, who had practically never played before and just knows the basic rules, won my first two games. Well, one of them against my 12-year-old son, but he was in the school's chess club last year, after all. Deservedly an evergreen and truly the game of kings!

[powerful-light-powerful-darkness]

I think this is an important debate right now so I'm gonna just drop the whole article in here as well:

By John Hoey, April 13, 2020

"Daisy Ridley has been a part of Star Wars for over five years and has seen the best and worst sides of its fans. Now that the sequel trilogy has ended, concluding Rey’s story (for now), the actress shared her take on the constant negativity coming from fans who didn’t like The Rise of Skywalker and the impact it has on those who create the films, as well as her personal etiquette and social media preferences. Ridley’s thoughts on online fan culture make this as good a time as any for us fans to take a reflective look at ourselves and the impact we have on the Star Wars franchise and its future.

In an appearance on the podcast DragCast, Ridley was asked about her personal social media preferences and spoke clearly about why she doesn’t have social media (it’s not as dramatic as some have made it out to be), and her thoughts on the fans who choose to lash out with backlash toward Star Wars films, most recently The Rise of Skywalker.

First it needs to once again be made clear why Daisy Ridley is not publicly on social media:

“I was asked to go on it, and, at the time, I was like, ‘Okay,’ and then it got to the point where I didn’t want to be on it and I was at my friend’s house in L.A., and I remember being like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to be on Instagram,’ and they were like, ‘Well, why don’t you come off?’ and I was like, ‘Oh.’ And it was really a nice, autonomous decision. Because I was like, ‘Oh, I don’t actually have to be on it. This is nice.’ And I always had a limit to what I shared anyway and, honestly, my life isn’t that exciting. So there were a lot of separate things.”

Ridley talks about how things have changed since 2015’s The Force Awakens, which was universally loved for the most part. If you read between her carefully chosen words, she is basically saying social media has brought negativity much more to the surface than it used to be.

“It’s changed film by film, honestly. Like 98%, it’s so amazing. This last film, it was really tricky. January was not that nice. It was weird, I felt like all of this love that we’d sort of been shown the first time around, I was like ‘Where’s the love gone?’ I watched the documentary, the making-of, this week, and it’s so filled with love, and I think it’s that tricky thing of when you’re part of something that is so filled with love and then people. You know, everyone’s entitled to not like something, but it just, it feels like it’s changed slightly, but I think in general that’s because social media and what have you.”

Ridley takes to the popular lesson parents everywhere try to teach their kids, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Well, that doesn’t play in fandoms, of any kind. Daisy admits to finding the backlash to The Rise of Skywalker upsetting, and how she tries to avoid it as much as possible, while acknowledging how easy it is for people to have an outlet, in turn leading to more opinions reaching the public sphere.

“I think in general, people share so much on social media that if I went—I don’t have social media, anyway—but if I went to a film and didn’t like it, I just wouldn’t tweet about it,” she continued. “But it’s such a conversation and it always has been. I guess now conversations are just more public, so there’s stuff I wouldn’t have seen, but honestly trying to scroll through my newsfeed in January and trying not to see Star Wars stuff, I’d see headlines and be like ‘Oh my god this is so upsetting.’ So it’s been tricky, but then it’s having that thing of I feel really proud of it, and I’m so thrilled to be part of it. Yeah, but it’s a funny thing.”

I think a big part of the allure to posting our takes into the endless reaches of social media is people want to be heard and feel relevant. There is an inherent human instinct to want validation, and if your thoughts on something get showered with likes and retweets and comments, that validation is fed. But, if our output is negative it can snowball into a sub-culture that has a significant impact. I have had conversations with plenty of people over the years in the film industry and even inside Lucasfilm who have said they pay attention to what’s going on on social media. Now I say that with hesitation as that could entice people to be more vocal, but the point is, they keep tabs on who says what, especially those who are legitimate influencers in the community. They pay attention more than you realize.

The downside of this is creators and talent are also very aware, and for some it has become unattractive to want to work on Star Wars after seeing the hell and hate George Lucas, J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson, and other creatives have gone through. Perhaps that’s why we’re scratching our heads lately at some of the unknown names we’re seeing popping up as writers and other significant crew members on important upcoming projects. The editor of Del Rey books Tom Hoeler publicly admitted it is hard finding authors to write Star Wars books, which is under a much, much dimmer spotlight than writers, directors, and actors.

The more Star Wars “fans” poison the well of social media with negativity, backlash, and hate toward the films and those who make them, the harder it will be for Lucasfilm to convince talented people to want to work on projects from a galaxy far, far away, when they can just as easily take their talents to less murky waters.

There are varying degrees as well as extremes of negativity online, and the biggest extreme are those who threaten violence against creators. Now some will say this is just a joke, but I can’t imagine how anyone would find something like this humorous, especially in today’s world.

Now many will rebut by saying that type of behavior is not representative of all who didn’t like the movie, and that is completely true. That goes without saying. But, as with what happened with The Last Jedi, where hate toward the movie and Rian Johnson permeated for years after the movie’s release (continuing to this day), perpetual and constant output of negativity, even if done without hostility, fosters and ferments the culture of hate. As Daisy Ridley said, everyone has a right to not like something, but I am not sure what good it does if you voice that disdain and/or hate non-stop. If you left the theater after seeing The Rise of Skywalker and took to your Twitter account to tell your followers you hated the movie, that’s all well and good. Did you take the next couple of weeks to point out things you didn’t like about it? That makes sense. Your message was likely received. But if you feel a need to constantly beat the same drum of negativity over and over five months later and into the future, perhaps you need to rethink your approach if you believe your thoughts haven’t been clear or resonated with people.

I am personally not a big fan of The Clone Wars or Ahsoka Tano, but instead of bashing Dave Filoni or the animation department on a daily basis, I opt to talk about things I like instead. I catch myself taking a turn to negative town from time to time, we all have our moments, but I think if we care about Star Wars and want it to succeed and attract the best filmmakers and talent possible, perhaps it’s our responsibility as fans to be better and create a better online culture together. Not all fans pay attention to the pulse of fans online, but it’s a growing part of all fandoms, not a shrinking one, so I hope we can all channel our inner Jedi and be more polite, respectful, and kind to creatives and each other on social media and in general.

This culture of negativity is not limited to Star Wars, as other movie and TV franchises, sports, music, and anything with mass followings suffer from similar problems. I still believe Star Wars fans are overall good, and while sometimes we feel smothered by the spread of negative vibes when we try to connect with our fellow fans online, we need to always try to remember one thing about the good people in this fandom…there are more of us."

[noscorpsaladerive]

hey ella i'm hoping you can help me with some of that GOOD gossip. the whole "flo is secretly the father of zaho's baby and they're married" rumour? is there any evidence for it or is it all just hearsay?

okay this is gonna be long so it’s going under a cut but short answer i think there is a very strong possibility that all of what you said is true

so basically there have been rumors of zaflo ever since their LRA days.  there’s a video of them rehearsing a scene (not sure from what though because it’s not from LRA) where they kiss, and that kiss has been taken out of context and was what probably started the rumors in the first place.  this would’ve been early to mid 2015

at first i was like nah they’re just castmates and i was pretty anti-rumors mostly bc of how some of the other real person shipping among the cast was going down, but on more than one occasion we saw zaho and flo getting into the same car leaving the palais des congrès after a show (this would be fall 2015)

after LRA ended and danse avec les stars started (late 2016), the zaflo rumors kinda faded when people started wondering if flo and his partner candice were dating.  both refuted the rumors on multiple occasions by saying they were seeing other people.  also noteworthy in that article (from january 2017) is that flo mentions wanting to be a father towards the end.  this is also not the first time flo mentions wanting to start a family (i can’t find the article i’m thinking of, but i think he even started talking about it during LRA’s run)

over the course of 2017, flo and zaho seemed to mysteriously be in the same place at the same time.  for instance, there are these two posts that look like they were taken in the same apartment.  he was in montréal at the same time she was having a concert there (and i think flo posted about the concert on his instagram story, but that’s long gone now), and they went to cuba together too.  flo also started posting more from montréal and canada in general, which is where zaho grew up and i’m assuming where her family still lives

late 2017/early 2018 zaho either confirmed or people are fairly sure that she’s moved to montréal.  she announced her pregnancy in april 2018 but said nothing about the identity of the father.  meanwhile a few months later, flo retweeted that last linked article without commentary:

so either flo just really wants people to know his friend and former castmate is pregnant or he’s dropping a major hint that he’s the father or he was searching zaho on twitter and accidentally retweeted it

at mikele and flo’s concert in beijing in august of that year (2018), flo confirms that he now lives in montréal (we know this thanks to vanessa being at that concert).

so for the longest all we know is zaho is pregnant, flo’s seeing someone and wants to be a father, and the two of them spend a lot of time together and live in the same city.

flash forward to like a week ago???  zaho’s posting cute pics of her and her son in paris, and we’ve heard nothing from flo since he posted in december 2018 for the danser sous la pluie second anniversary.  then literally a week and two days ago, zaho posts a video on her instagram story (which i should’ve saved but didn’t) of her and her son at a restaurant with flo!!  flo is sitting next to zaho, and her son is standing in between them.  the most important detail though is flo is wearing a ring on his wedding finger!!!  and i’ve never really seen him wear rings just for funsies in the past, so i’m assuming that means he got married.  however, we don’t really have confirmation that zaho’s the one he married, just a lot of coincidences that seem to line up with them being together

[masseffectholidaycheer]

Can you please email us of we're one of the people who should be expecting a late present? Also ... I'm a little disappointed to say I've seen *people* on discords laughing about how they forgot about HH and are now throwing together fics with what they admit is minimal effort. As someone who spent weeks making a physical gift and is probably going to get one of these fics that even the writers were laughing at ... I'm really upset. You don't need to publish this. I just thought you should know.

Okay. Real talk here, folks.

This message made me cry. And not in a good way. And not in a joking way.

Anon, I know upsetting me wasn’t the intention of your message. I know you’re frustrated, and that you worry you may be disappointed. But please just wait and see what happens with your gift. Believe it or not, there are still dozens of gifts in the mail and somewhere around 50 other gifts unaccounted for. A huge number of those will roll in over the next few days because the deadline HASN’T PASSED YET. The due date was ALWAYS at the end of the month. Until now, people have been posting EARLY. Which is great. But nothing’s late until the 4th.

To the people on Discord laughing about making a half-assed gift, where anyone—including, potentially, your giftee—can see you, shame on you. You’ve had plenty of time. You’re getting a present. The least you could do, the very least, is not brag about how much you’re half-assing something that people do put a lot of effort into where other people can see you doing it.

At the end of the day, this is an honor system. I don’t have the time, energy, or resources to ensure everyone is performing to a certain (arbitrary) level. This exchange is open to everyone; I have always wanted it to be open to everyone. So, yeah, maybe sometimes your gift was made by a beginner or by someone trying a new thing. It’s why I have tried, over and over, to hammer home the importance of gratitude.

But, I feel you, Anon. It’s hard to be grateful when you have evidence that some participants are deliberately not trying hard or that they don’t really care. It really sucks. I think it’s rude, I think it’s sad, it makes me really unhappy, and, frankly, really angry. But I’m not able to sit on every person’s shoulders and demand they put in more effort. 

I’ve said it before, and I’ll doubtless say it again. I’m one person, here. Every year, I run this thing because I love being part of something that makes so many people so happy.

I put in countless hours of work. For free. Every year. In my life outside of Tumblr, and when not wearing the Holiday Harbinger tentacles, I’m a freelancer. I don’t have a guaranteed income. And I still volunteer 50-100+ hours I could be using to make money running this exchange because I love being part of something that makes so many people happy. 

No matter how much I try to streamline the process, or how clear my instructions are, or how carefully I try to make people understand what they’re signing up for, I inevitably end up having to chase people down, deal with demands or entitlement, deal with people who bail at the last minute (often without telling me, which means having to find pinch hitters even later), all while monitoring all the participants and ensuring that, at the end of it—which is supposed to be January but is almost always MARCH—everyone has a present.

And I do it because I love being part of something that makes so many people happy. And because so many people pour their heart and soul into this exchange. 

But I have limitations. As I’ve said, I can’t afford the time to email people individually. If you have a concern, EMAIL ME DIRECTLY and I will respond to it. I can’t deal with late gifts until they’re actually late. And this year, nothing is late until Feb 4th.

I love being a part of something that makes so many people happy. But right now, I’m not one of those happy people.

So please, gift makers, if you know you’re going to be late on delivery, send your giftee an anon message telling them. Then send an email telling me, so I know what I’m dealing with here. And please, don’t half-ass. If you need more time, tell me. For the love of all that’s holy, put in the amount of effort you hope someone else will put in for you. I can’t believe this is something that needs to be said outright.