#I'm honestly just sat here trying to make myself sad at this point

[buccini555]

≡ Your sweet boyfriend Haru comforting you

♡... x r e a d e r !

✟ 𝑭𝒕. Sanzu Haruchiyo

(🤍) For some reason, you've been feeling some kind of anguish for a while, many times you just end up crying in your own hiding place, trying to avoid Sanzu noticing, to simply not make him worry,y you were crying again, locked in your dark room, but this time Haruchiyo ended up entering the room suddenly and saw you in tears with your body completely shaking, that day, Sanzu ended up being "released" early from gang affairs and of course, like a good boyfriend came to visit you.

As soon as he saw you in that state, the taller one's body shivered, he had never seen you so sad, so it really scared him.

— B-baby? What happened!? Why are you crying?

Your loved boy sat on the side of your bed, lightly stroking your face and wiping away her tears.

— You can trust me, understand? I'm your boyfriend, I want to be able to help you.

You ended up explaining the reason for such crying, Haruchiyo listened to you attentively, he was clearly distressed too, but he hid such concern and concentrated on consoling you, Sanzu hugged you, soon after he gave you a small kiss and lay down beside you.

— We will get through this together! I'm here, hmm? As long as I'm alive no one will touch you or hurt you, I promised myself I would never be a shitty boyfriend and always would take care of you, I will never, never forget that promise!

You watched Haruchiyo look away with tears in his eyes, he was honestly shaken to believe that he wasn't being a good enough boyfriend, but, did you know that boy was the best boyfriend you could ever have, no matter how troubled Haruchiyo's life was, he cared for you every second you were together and of course, he really love you.

— I don't want to see you crying anymore baby, please, I love you so much, you didn't deserve all this...

He was holding back, he was really holding back from crying in front of you.

— F-fuck... I really don't want to cry.

Despite the pain he was feeling at that moment, he looked at you smiling, Sanzu always knew how much you loved to see him smile, even though he was ashamed of the scars on his lips.

— You stop crying?! I'm so proud of you! there's no one stronger than my sweetheart.

You hugged again, still lying down, after you calmed down, you ended up sleeping together, after all, that situation had indeed been tiring for both of you.

Sanzu made a point of waking up before you, to try to please you, he took some sweets he had saved for Manjiro and put them on the small table next to your bed, He also wrote a little note that said: Never forget how much I love you! 🖤

— No one has ever made me feel so in love...

He said as he caressed your face again, even though you were sleeping, he didn't stop being affectionate with you.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hiii, miss me?

Now you want to kiss me (or have to? Wasn't there a song like that?)

This month my blog turned two years old. I got the notification in my email. Last year I made an entire celebration post by publishing the funniest/ridiculous asks I got. There were good times back then. Still. Not so much afterwards.

I wasn't the nicest presence in the last few months leading to me abandoning the blog. And I wasn't too discreet about it. Although there was more to it, a lot more. But I'll get there.

First things first. Why am I here when on the 24th of March I dramatically declared that I'm leaving forever? Well, that was a very emotionally-charged post and the result of a few factors. I'm not entirely proud of how I made my exit, but it's also a true reflection of my personality so there's no point in making excuses. Nevertheless, I will explain as much as I can (I still care about privacy, just like before).

On that Friday, I woke up excited. I took a day off from work (yes...I know), I listened to Face, watched the music video. All good. But I was also dreading a bit having to come here because I knew there was this expectation of me to come up with some thought-provoking analysis, say something smart and all that. I was exhausted on all levels, emotionally and intellectually. I had also promised to leave after the promotions were over, somewhere in the middle of April (who would have thought it would last 9 days? Not me), but the plans changed. Not to drag it too much, but on that day I also officially announced to some concerned parties that I'm changing career paths. You know, just something I thought I'd be doing until the day I die and I've been working towards for at least 10 years. No big deal. I was planning on doing it anyway, but actually saying the words and make it real is a different story. I felt extatic, full of adrenaline, so happy with my decision and at that moment, it felt the right time to close BMT. It was somehow directly connected. I made the blog as an escape and now I got the opportunity to turn the page over. It was perfect. Best day ever. I clicked post, I logged out, and then I sat. And after a while, the reality of my decisions hit me in the face. And I felt sad and empty because what the hell am I doing now and what is my identity? I closed my blog too which was my main hobby. And so followed some difficult days. And then it got better. And then bad again. And so on, because it's a roller coaster.

The thing is, I can change my interests, but I can't stop myself from being opinionated. And getting excited. And wanting to talk about it. And share all that on a public platform with some strangers that are interested in what I have to say. Or they used to. It's who I am.

This blog won't remain Bangtan Media Thoughts because I want more than that. I will rebrand this page. I could start fresh with a new blog, but this is still my space and I know some people were interested in reading about other things as well from me, not just BTS. I hope I can built something from that.

The blog won't reflect only a specific niche of interests, but everything that I like in terms of pop culture. From movies, music, fashion, gossip, you name it. Including Kpop. And if I feel the need to rant about Hybe after talking about Ryan Gosling's Ken, I will. Same about JM, JK or whoever I feel like it. If there is a good advice that I got in the last few months, is to adapt and not force myself to abandon something completely. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. And to be honest, it was easier to give up smoking than completely lose interest in kpop. It's a habit. Perhaps this new blog will reflect the way I try to deal with that. A bit more honestly, a little less discourse, certainly less essays because I don't have them in me at the moment. But never say never. This blog will be all me, not just BMT.

I will change the name and url 24h after I post this. This will be an opportunity for all my followers to decide if they want to stay or they are not interested in the new direction. Feel free to do as you please. I welcome new people and greet the old ones who didn't hit unfollow for some reason.

It will go like this:

Bangtan Media Thoughts > Reflections in a Critical Eye

New theme, new profile photo, new beginnings.

All the old posts will still be here. I don't plan on deleting anything. They are all a product of me and my brain and they have their place. I'll probably pin some new posts these days that have to do with the rebranding. It will be like a construction site, but it will be worth it.

One last thing though. After I abruptly left, I received some DMs. I saw them back then. I do feel sorry about those who wanted to check in with me or with whom I used to talk regularly. But I do hope that some of the things I said today will explain my behavior. I also won't start communicating again like that, at least for now. I always felt a bit pressured and I'm not the best at maintaining conversations in private. If that changes, I'll make that clear.

That's it for now. I'm excited. I feel like writing again so here's to another chapter.

My inbox is open and will be, just as usual. No more messages to BMT, but you can call me M. Like in the Bond movies 😉

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC HI don't mind me i just finished the genloss founders cut and im putting my ful lreview in ur inbox bc u said u weren't gonna watch it i think but i want 2 share my thoughts with someone who will not rip me to shreds for criticizing it even slightly <3

OK. I'M NOT GONNA LIE. IT KINDA SLAPPED. maybe i just think it was really good in comparison to the original four hours of streams that dragged on. i honestly thought the original streams of genloss were longer but NO all three streams add up to about four hours???? it just felt so much longer when i originally watched it i guess!!! u can understand why i am sure. but the founders cut was like two and a half and oh my goddddd cutting out a lot of it made such a huge difference. holy shit. like i definitely did get bored and skip through a little bit but honestly i didn't skip through much!! every time i got to a part where i was like "oh fuck not THIS bit that goes on for 30-45 minutes god dammit" it ended up being like maybe ten minutes at most which was SUCH A GODSEND. i am delighted to report that they cut the half hour cooking bit in the first episode down to like 7-8 minutes <3 the best surprise ranboo could have given me tbh. like with the way things were cut down and framed differently i actually laughed at a couple points????? WILD. did not think i would find any genuine comedy here. lowkey there were points that were funny. insane

honestly with the unfunny bits being cut down, it actually let the slightly more serious lore bits shine more, and the payoff for when it got to the third episode felt SO much more deserved. like. the original streams i'd probably give a 3/10 collectively and that's being generous but i would unironically say the founder's cut deserves like a 7/10. maybe a 7.5 if i found it in myself to ignore the bad special effects. (there was still plenty of bad comedy ngl i still don't know why charlie slimecicle's face was superimposed on a towel. that scene was nothing. it was literally nothing. they could have removed it and it would change nothing but they kept it in idk why)

ANYWAY. if they had released genloss like this first maybe i would unironically be a fan of it now. tbh. i would still be making fun of the bad comedy and the horror that was barely horror but i think i would actually be like participating in the fandom a lil and i would probably find it in me to find some charm in the bad special effects. all in all Not Bad!! not good, but not like actively bad. ofc im still running on the adrenaline of the ending because episode 3 was objectively the best out of them all so maybe my perception is skewed but. kinda decent. 7/10 👍 anyway i hope ur havin a good day i hope to finish pd season one soon over the next couple days!!!!!

taking the cowards route and putting my thoughts under the cut bc a lot of my mutuals these days really enjoy genloss and i don't want them to be mad at me

(genloss crit/neg/whatever under the cut)

dude this makes me so unironically sad . why the FUCK was genloss what it was the first time around when this was obviously the better route to go from the very beginning. I am still staunchly in my "I don't like genloss" position but. I DID WATCH IT. i sat through ALL of the original streams and it was so miserable for me. im not going 2 watxh the directors cut or whatever bc i dont hate myself enough to sit through all of that again but i trust your opinion!! if only it would've been planned out thought out prerecorded videos from the start I also probably would not hate it as much as I do!!! maybe I even would've liked it !!! (<< not likely bc i do have Other Issues with it than just the fact that it was too long too unfunny too unfocused etc whatever im getting into hater territory sorry. always welcome 2 genloss fans to try to explain to my why its Good Actually so i can recommend them actual horror media)

like . the streams added absolutely NOTHING to it other than that final choice scene or whatever. and even if they wanted to do that still u know what would've been an awesome smart choice??? prerecord and edit the whole thing and then premiere THAT video on twitch- then when it comes time for the final choice you can still have people vote!! then you can have two separate endings prepared based on which way the vote was swaying. like. its that easy. it would've made the whole experience so much more enjoyable . ughhghghg the fucking wasted potential on HOURS of unfunny badly improvved bits is so devastating

personally I still cant excuse the bad effects considering the amount of times ranboo bragged about the genloss budget like. maybe you should've used your resources better and also if it would've just been prerecorded from the start things wouldn't look as rushed as they did but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what do I know !!

anyway I'm so glad this version was better but for me it will always ALWAYS be tainted by the . misery I felt while watching the streams lmaoooo . I wanted to like genloss so bad. I tried so hard. head in hands !!!!!!!!!!!

[voodoo-master]

“I am so very in love with you” Ace x gn Reader

(y/n) wanted to confess their feelings to the one and only fire fist Ace. They often spent their time together but as of recently (y/n) had started avoiding Ace, as their feelings for the fire user were getting stronger by the day. 

“Hey Marco? Do you know why (y/n) is avoiding me?” Marco looked slightly surprised, but that quickly went away and replaced with a smirk. “(y/n) found out that someone here has feelings for them”.  Ace felt a little panicked and his eyes widened.  “Did they say who?” “No, I don't think they did. You could go to thatch, you know he's all about gossip, or you could also try and talk to (y/n)" "I've tried, they just keep running from me " "Hmm, well, I can't help you there bud. Good luck” With that, Marco walks away.  Ace tried to think of anyone who might have had feelings for you, but even after all that thinking he didn't come up with a single name. It would be impossible, you were too amazing and perfect not to like. Hell Ace himself had feelings for you, has for a long time, he just never had the balls to ever tell you. He thinks he's not good enough for you and that you deserve better than what he could offer.

—-------

‘Ace is way too pretty for his own good’ you thought to yourself as you caught a quick glance as he was talking to Marco. You were sitting on the rail looking out into the sea when Thatch came by and leaned next to you. “You are torturing the poor boy” “hmm, i'm not trying too, I honestly thought Ace would not really notice if I wasn't around much” “you really thought that would work? You guys were practically glued to each other” “I guess that was the point, if I tell him how I feel….things might not be the same as they were before. I don't want that”. “So avoiding him is the best option? If you don't tell him, I or Morco will, so go and tell Ace how you feel!”

After that Thatch walked back into the kitchen. “Damn that cook, he always does this” I mumble under my breath. “What does Thatch always do?” I hear Ace say. “Ah Ace you scared me, W-whats up?” I ask avoiding eye contact with the freckled boy “You're avoiding me, did I do something wrong? Or something to upset you?” he asks with sad puppy eyes. My eyes widen at the sadness in his tone. “No of course not! I just have had something on my mind that's all, I promise. Truth is I needed some time to figure something out” “Does it have to do with the person who likes you?” “What do you mean, someone likes me?” “Apparently, Marco said that you found out that someone liked you” “Well I think Marco was messing with you, I never found out that any one liked me, Their is only one person that I will except a confession form and  they probably don't even like me so that most likely won't happen”.

After a short period of silence Ace joined me and sat next to me on the rail. I heard him whisper something but I couldn't make it out. “What was that Ace?” Ace says nothing but turns to me and takes my hands and leans his forehead on mine. His next words make me into a blushing mess “I am so very in love with you (y/n)” “Wha-” “I know I’m probably the last person you thought or wanted to confess to you, but I don't think I could stand myself if I let my chance slip away”. Ace was about to say more, but I stopped him by cupping his cheeks and shushing him. “Ace, I l-love you too, I was just too scared to ever say anything cause I didn't wanna lose what we had”. With that being said, Ace pulled me into a light kiss that was overflowing with love. “So does this mean your mine?” “Only if that means your mine” “Always (y/n), I'm all yours”.

[waffelteufel]

(Sort of Destiny 2 criticism, but also i love the game and it's not just hate, i'm just rambling lol) I'm honestly a biiit worried with Destiny's storytelling? I have been thinking about this and feeling this since a while now, but the seasonal story stuff we've been getting feels… Lower quality, than the previous dlcs, if that makes sense? When Destiny used to have a lot of reading in between the lines and surreal concepts and complex conversations/relationships, it tends to follow very obvious tropes lately, which feel on-the-nose and like they were written by people who are terminally online and don't actually read that many good books either. Ok this sounds very mean, and I don't mean it that way, but it is the way I feel lmao. As a result I find those seasonal conclusions to always feel rather.. Childish? and Hollywood-esque? Almost like Marvel? I will try to explain.

Season of the Haunted as an example here – instead of giving us plots and hints, the DLC spoon-fed us a therapy session every week, with a morale story at the end. That's nice and all but it didn't feel quite Destiny to me? It was a means to an end with your typical 2020s Hollywood morale story about mental health at the end. For any other series or game I wouldn't have a problem with it, but in Destiny it just felt… Off. Not bad, just weird and disjointed. I am sure they could have pulled it off much better if we didn't have this (honestly absolutely abhorrent) seasonal system that locks you out of story and content after each season. Season of Plunder ending was honestly ridiculous story-wise and felt like a means to an end to wake up Osiris – the plot we had felt extremely inconsistent and - unfortunately - like it was pulled out of Bungie's ass. As a bigtime Misraaks (and also Sjur, who has been conveniently forgotten by Bungie, even though Eido is named in honor of her) enjoyer, I felt let down. Season of the Seraph has been such an on-the-nose western trope with a very obvious ending, i mostly felt disappointed by it and, even though the cinematic was drop-dead gorgeous and the ending made sense (because AGAIN: it follows extremely obvious cinema tropes that don't leave you with big surprises if you pay attention and know a thing or two about narratives), it just felt… Silly. "Who needs war sats if you have each other" That sentence was so damn Hollywood to me… Again, I blame the seasonal system, because Rasputin's shift and whole development (and eventual demise) happened too quickly. I am sure this could have been amazing if this awful seasonal system didn't exist, but yeah. Narratively throwing away a big personality like that in a season instead of an expansion was ballsy, but not in a good way imo. It essentially gets rid of plot and drama the characters might have in the future, and Destiny's story conflicts have already been dumbed down enough so that Rasputin's death actually feels very sad to me, because it's drama we will never get to experience now! Also to the people saying Bungie must want to resurrect him at some point: Rezzing him after that, and also after Crow and Savathun, is objectively extremely bad and silly writing. Like fanfiction level self indulgent stuff that throws away established points that seemed important to the writers. Like they made a point, even if I am not a fan of it, and it seems kind of disrespectful to just throw it away again and nullify that. I just can't see it happening, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it did anyway, because it's tonally in line with Hollywood right now. Eris and Ikora have been such non-entities also – they are there but also they aren't, because their own stories and conflicts have not been a part of Destiny since a good while now. They are mostly means to an end for other characters. I used to adore these two, but I find myself not caring anymore.

There have been good seasons too! My favourite by far has been Splicer, where they somehow managed to make the shift between Misraaks and Saint-14 feel very organic. The themes about xenophobia and prejudices didn't feel wannabe-educational, it all felt very organic and genuine within the pacing of the plot to me. The season with Mara trying to get rid of Savathun's worm was very nice also. The sister-brother story with Crow felt complex and there was a good amount of subtle reading inbetween the lines. Also nice. In general I really appreciate how they handled Saint-14 and Osiris also. The Witness and Savathun are also great and feel much more Original-Destiny-Esque to me than the rest.

I don't know. it just feels kinda Hollywood to me right now? I honestly wonder how many of the original writers are still part of the team? People like Seth Dickinson used to write my all time favourite lore pieces, like the Awoken stuff, and they've not been part of the project since a good while. I don't know. I really don't like it when stories need to push your nose into something, it gives me the impression as if the authors assume you must be an idiot, and it's not been the vibe I had of Destiny as a franchise since the longest time. These wannabe mental health and friendship storybeats can work and I am sure they could make them work, but they just feel like written by terminally online authors. I don't want to use that term so negatively, but it feels like a self indulgent fanfiction (which is fine in itself!! but i don't expect fanfics from Bungo) or someone making a twitter post to educate someone – as opposed to a seasoned writer who puts a lot of effort into their craft and doesn't feel the need to over-explain every single thing and emotion because they are confident enough in their craft to not be scared about bad-faith-interpretations by toxic online weirdos.

Still, the story in Destiny is so complex, you cannot really compare it to most games out there, so I feel rather nitpicky about it, cuz it still ain't bad, you know? I am not hating on it, it's just criticism I have. Because I do genuinely love the setting. I understand if the seasons need to have different vibes, but the tone of the game shifts a bit too much for me. Or its complexity and matureness, that is. Makes me worry where this will all go, and if this marvel-approach will become more prevalent or less in the future. Maybe I worry for naught also, and it will go back on track again? I've noticed my interest fading toward the end of the seasons anyhow, but then at the start of the next expansion it is piqued again. Neomuna and the Cloudstriders seem very intriguing for example. This might also be a cultural thing. I am not from the US and I don't vibe with most of Hollywood cinema anyhow, so maybe I'm the problem lmao. Which is fine. Not everybody needs to agree with me, I am just sharing some feelings here and I wonder if others feel similar, or don't agree at all? Would be interesting to hear!

[brighteststar707]

Also for the ask game!! I'd like to make it sound all fancy and smart like I'm an English teacher, but my brain is too silly for that

6 - Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics: Is it weird that the first thing that came to mind is Jaehee with pigtails from the 'Hair' fic you wrote for her? It was such a domestic piece, but picturing myself playing with her little pigtails and watching her blush as I call her cute, is something I still remember very vividly, oddly enough. I love Jaehee!! And I love the way you write her to bits and pieces. Soft coffee wife, my beloved <3

7 - What made me the most emotional after reading: Telepathy. It's always going to be Telepathy. Okay, maybe not always, but it'll definitely remain up there even in the future. I'd say it's my favorite fic of yours, actually. Which is... honestly very surprising, because I don't get as effected by Jumin/V stories as I do with Choi twins or Rika, for exactly! I do get sad and it's interesting for me to see them explored in different ways, but I never really felt... all choked up about them, you know? Well, you took that and slapped me right across the face with the masterpiece that is Telepathy./pos The way you wrote down the slow and painful process of drifting apart from your best friend... God, it felt both cathartic and painful. Probably because it's something I've experienced first hand, very recently, at that. Telepathy is a fic that left me laying on my bed and staring up into the ceiling, just thinking about it for a good 15 minutes. And, you know what? That's my favorite kind of feeling after reading a fic. I love Telepathy. I will gush about for as long as it exists. Go read Telepathy, ya'll.

8 - What I like the most about your writing: Descriptive writing. Now, it's probably because descriptive is my personal weakest point (in my opinion), and I tend to always focus extremely hard whenever I read someone else use descriptive writing in their works to learn new techniques and memorize if it sounds good or not. Either way, God, do I adore the way you manage to just paint the exact image of what's happening as I read. It's not too much, and it's not too little. It's just right. If I would write up everything I vividly remember from your fics, this ask would get too damn long, but what's important is that I often remember the exact location. How it looked. How it felt. How it smelled. How a certain character was dressed. How their face looked. Whether it was warm or cold. What sounds there were. It's those tiny details that make even the simplest of your stories shine so brightly! They just... get stuck in your head like your favorite song. And I think that's just amazing <3

I don't know what I did to deserve this Mia!! I've been sat here reading this over and over and feeling all warm and fuzzy🥺 Please don't worry about trying to sound English teacher-y, you've conveyed everything here so well.

Soft coffee wife Jaehee! I've made it my personal mission to write her soft and happy because she gets to little opportunity to do that in the canon routes (and I love her to bits and think she deserves the world). I'm so glad the pigtails imagery stuck! She deserves her cute moments too!

The Telepathy love!!! I will always appreciate love for Telepathy, it's one of those fics that will also always be one of my favs because of the writing process and the relationship between V and Jumin. It's a wonderful surprise to hear that my writing had that effect on you, especially for a relationship that doesn't usually affect you that strongly. It's all I could ask for, really. I'm very sorry that you had to deal with the slow loss of a friend. It's a uniquely painful experience and I'm sending you a lot of warmth <3

The details of my stories sticking in your head like a song.... Oooh I'm going to need a moment, that's one of the nicest things anyone has said about my writing. Thank you, Mia.

[rainbowrosegames]

I wake up in my room near the top of the tower I live in, on a sunny day, too sunny, really. It's another beautiful day, and it's time to get ready for work. My cream yellow fur in a mess, drool on the pillow, and a really bad morning breath. I go wash up on the other end of the room, brushing my teeth with a gentle brush that's wet, as to not file down my teeth. I went down a level in the tower and made some eggs in a pan, and made some toast in that magic toaster. "...I really need to get that fixed. It keeps jumping up and nearly hitting me with the toast." I say that to myself, knowing fully well that I won't, in fact, fix it. I can't be wasting my time on these things with my job, after all. It was my job to make some villainous schemes or else the heroes of Toontown would accidentally be "heroes" and "save us" from the good people in the council.

People have grown restless since the Cogs have been defeated for good, and it's been years since we started rebuilding and healing the lands they had taken over for their corporations, and the people are still full of too much energy. Honestly this job is my jam, but it's also a bit sad we need to do this.

"Welp, no need to sit here all grumped up and doing nothing," I had thought to myself as I got up to put my dishes in the sink and take a small plate upstairs for my familiar, Beanana. She was still asleep on her small little pillow that acted as a bed for her, on my nightstand. "Beanie, I got some juice and toast for you!" I called whilst nudging her slightly to wake her up. She slowly woke up, and took the food, saying a nearly-missed "Thank you."

I got to work on packing up my bags with my magic materials and tools whilst she ate. What would I do today? Perhaps make some kind of dessert stand that you could make dessert at and use some magic to make it all go haywire? Make the gags have a mind of their own? Maybe the best thing is to win a lot of kart races and have the people try to defeat me? It's really hard to know what would work for them.

Everyone is tired of playing the trolley, fishing, playing with their pets, gardening, golfing, racing, and throwing pies at each other. It just gets old over time, it's even boring choosing to volunteer to fix up the new playground areas where the Cog HQs were.

"Hey Beanie, should I get Rainbow to go on a rampage and rain down some fire and smash things today? I'm at a loss of what we can do." At this point Beanana is done with her food and also washing up a bit, as I finish up packing the last few things. I looked hopefully at her, and she dried her face off with a tissue and sighed in disappointment.

"Magical Banana, you know we shouldn't do any property damage. Especially if there would be big consequences on Rainbow, as it wouldn't be fair to her, even if it's work-related or not," She pauses to fly a little closer and continues "I think we should just make some kind of challenge or competition at the Estate, especially since it gives you a chance to pay Amethyst Cheetah for helping you take care of your house while you're here for work."

She brought up several good points and ideas, and has definitely helped me remember how glad I was that I made her my familiar. I realized that I sat there all too silently and gave a slightly panicked reply "Ah! Yeah, you're right. Let's do that, I have some materials in the house and lately we have express mail."

I'm gonna stop writing here I'm tired ahh

You live in a utopian society. Really. No dark secret plots or massive covered up horrors. In fact, it’s your job to stage conspiracies in order to give eager adventurers some “evil plot” to thwart to keep them from bringing down the benevolent ruler out of some misguided need to be a hero.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

So about Friday.

I'm down so fucking bad.

I'm putting a cut here because I'm a little embarrassed and honestly kind of ashamed but the sad truth is it's so fucking real, you have no idea.

(Edit: This has taken me a Very Long Time to figure out how to tell because I keep wanting to stop. But if nothing else, I want to record it for myself. I'm turning off reblogs, though.)

So long story short, the Teen Titans season 3 soundtrack released on Spotify, and when I pulled up the app to listen to music on the way home, it was right there in my face.

And when I think about season 3, one very specific episode comes immediately to mind.

Spellbound.

I love the music in that episode so much, so very much! I've sat at my keyboard for hours trying to remember the motifs and figure out how to play them. I've eagerly awaited the release of season 3's soundtrack SPECIFICALLY for Spellbound for SO FREAKING LONG!

Did I want to listen to it? Hell yeah! But I debated for a minute or two. Spellbound makes me unreasonably emotional. I know this about myself. I've accepted this about myself. Maybe that was the point. I cried not once but TWICE the night it aired, at a time in my life when I was very lonely and strictly locking down my emotions, and it was the only episode I've ever risked my stepmother's ire to ask if we could watch it again.

(During the second watch-through, she commented, "This is so cheesy." And between the emotion and being annoyed at being torn out of the trance I was in, I kind of snarked, "It's no worse than your soap operas." She didn't have a response to that.)

To this day, those words still echo in my mind: "You are dark, and darkness is often misunderstood."

I know it was manipulation. I know it was seeking vulnerability to exploit it. I know it's from the mouth of the enemy. Malchior's name can literally (and I do mean, linguistically LITERALLY) be translated as "more evil". ("Mal-" from "malus" and "-ior" can be a superlative suffix.)

But it resonated with so much TRUTH throughout my life.

So anyways. Since I was like 11 years old, for nearly 2/3 of my life, Spellbound has been deeply tied in with emotions and a lot of personal resonance.

I was caught up in Malchior's charade every bit as much as Raven. I loved his voice. I once had an internal crisis when we were in church and there was a substitute pastor whose voice sounded EXACTLY like Greg Ellis's as Malchior.

And a few years ago, after discovering that my "asexual" label comes with a "demi" asterisk, and after shedding a certain level of fear and shame around experiencing sexual attraction, I became conscious of one very specific, embarrassing thing.

I am, in fact, very sexually attracted to that goddamn dragon and there's nothing I can do about it.

I always appreciated the words and voice, but that was.... romantic. It wasn't strictly platonic. I can't pretend I didn't long to find someone like that someday, except, you know, not a charade.

I don't know where the fuck the wires got crossed, but at some point I learned very suddenly and infuriatingly that it had crossed from being just romantic.

I'm not going to go into detail but let's just say, it hasn't let up.

So Friday, I was wondering if I should listen to it. Because I had plans immediately after work, I needed to go shopping, I planned to talk to people. Would it be wise to make myself emotional?

I convinced myself it wouldn't make me THAT emotional and decided to hit Play.

I eased myself into it by starting where Haunted was. (The episode right before Spellbound.) And really appreciated it! It's so creepy and atmospheric!

And when the Spellbound music started, I recognized it from the very first note. (We had a bootlegged set of DVDs with the episodes on them. I watched Spellbound upwards of a hundred times. I Knew That Note.)

And it turns out I can do more than just play the dialogue in my head almost word for word. I can also envision the scenes from the music alone. I knew what scene every song belonged to, despite having only ever really "noticed" the music consciously a couple times. I had that same surprising realization with the music from Nevermore and Fear Itself.

But do you know what Nevermore and Fear Itself didn't make me experience?

Sitting there on the bus smiling like a fool and BLUSHING.

I was wrong. I was so very, very WRONG. I was absolutely swept up in it, I could feel my face doing things without my permission. I was starry-gazed and I had my head in my hands, the words running through my head, certain shots playing as the music swelled, just absolutely caught up in this episode internally.

I don't know how to shake the emotions of How Good It Seemed at first. Just... I don't know. I think when I was a kid, I so desperately NEEDED someone to tell me that it was okay to be the way I am, hell the way Malchior seemed to ADMIRE it...

I know it was a lie. I KNOW it.

And that's what makes the fact that JUST THE MUSIC can make me so EMOTIONAL into something so INFURIATING!

Because I'm not proud of this! I'm embarrassed by it! It's a writhing, breathing thing in my heart that I can't exorcise! Both that it got so deeply under my skin in the first place, and that I'm still so TAKEN by HIM!

And of course the betrayal played through my head too, right when I had to get off the bus. I felt frustrated.

Maybe it's a good thing, that it has since turned from just being Sad and Wistful to having the self-confidence to be ANGRY about it.

(I was locking down the Nexus connection; I wasn't going to transfer this one across it.)

I'm so fucking AMBIVALENT about Malchior, like there's some small part of me that thinks "Maybe he did mean PART of it..." But there's also the part that knows he's a right bastard and doesn't deserve being attracted to.

But I can't help it and it's frustrating.

[bunchezofroze]

I Have Decided to Start Posting My Short Stories, So here's the First One

"Haunted Computer"

By Rozetta Stone (Prompt from GeneralBug)

Alright, this is getting tiring. I have been watching this girl attempt, and fail, to ask out her crush for like two weeks now. I'm here because I was just passing through her apartment when I saw her giggling at the computer and decided to let my curiosity get the better of me.

I found out from the other person's messages that this girl's name was apparently Carmen, and I learned from Carmen's messages that her correspondent's name is Trea. Now something I know about Carmen, that Trea doesn't, is that Carmen really likes them, like way more than is reasonably expected from "platonic" feelings.

At first, I was really quite amused, watching the girl write out a long winded confession of her oh so eternal love, only for her to fumble with the backspace key as she deleted any trace of it. But after two weeks of it, it's honestly just a bit sad at this point. I mean, she clearly finds this person very dear to her, but just can't get over the hurdle of actually expressing those feelings.

Today she and Trea were talking and joking about some show about paramedics or firefighters or something, and some ship called "Beckie,"or whatever that was never going to happen. I wasn't too worried about it. Then her expression changed in a way I was familiar with at this point, and typed out a string. "we could totally be like them, but like... actually set sail haha. but only if you really want too cause li..." And then she deleted it all while shaking her head.

I'm done. I can only watch this for so long. I decided a bright idea would be to try and help her. Of course, the whole wandering spirit thing makes helping her a bit challenging. Wait, did I mention that? Oh well, suffice to say I needed a way to get her attention. So, I decided that the best plan of action... was to possess her computer and try to talk to her... yeah, not my smartest move.

It was decided though, so I did a couple stretches, and then dove head first into greatness. Of course, saying that you're going to possess and communicate with the living through a computer is one thing, while actually doing it is another. But I was determined, so I decided to take control of the mouse. She seemed a bit startled when all of a sudden her mouse had a mind of its own beneath her hand, but I mean, rightfully so. I went down and opened her sticky notes app - yes people actually use sticky notes don't question me - and started typing.

I've seen enough

I can only take so much of this!!

So now, I'M GOING TO HELP YOU!!!

Adding exclamation marks will surely get my point across. She sat there for a while with her mouth agape, and then finally moved it, "Wh.. who... who are you? An.. and what?" Ah yeah, I should probably explain myself a bit better huh?

My name is Mirriad; I am what they call a ghooooost

Spooky, I know

But honestly, I may or may not have been spying on you for the past two weeks

"Excuse me, YOU WHAT??" Whoops, that was way too forward.

Don't take it like that

Look, I've been watching you chat with Trea, and I think it's all really cute

But you are completely hopeless girl

So I wanted to try and help you out is all

She sat there for quite awhile in thought, hands in her crossed legs, before finally speaking, "I really wanna tell them, but I just can't. Every time I get excited that I'm finally gonna do it, and then... Then I get this gut wrenching feeling that it'll all go wrong, and I chicken out." She turned her head, as if I was actually there looking at her, and then added, "I'm sorry."

Carmen...

You don't have to apologize for being scared

You just have to overcome that fear and do what you know your heart wants

Look, I'm gonna be your wing ghost

With my help, everything will be a-okay

She looked back over, "Alright, but what do I say?"

Tell Trea the truth

What you want them to know

I would say the worst that can happen is a no

But let's be honest, there are way worse things she can say

So good luck!! *thumbs up*

And now she looked mortified, "That doesn't help! What if they think I'm weird? Or gross? Or overwhelming?!" At this point she had her head in her hands and was very clearly panicking.

Listen

Or read I guess, I don't know...

Doesn't matter!

My point is that it'll be okay as long as you're yourself, I promise

"A.. alright, but what do I say, like, specifically? Can you like, type up a love letter or something?"

Sorry, but I'm not a computer

So I can't write anything for you

But just try and keep it simple, alright?

She looked down at the keyboard, "Okay, then here goes nothing I guess." She tentatively moved the mouse over to her chat with Trea, and started typing,

UselessLesbian: |

UselessLesbian:

UselessLesbian: |

UselessLesbian:

UselessLesbian: Do you wanna go out sometime? Like on a date? Like a date-date?|

She looked over it, shook her head, and went for the backspace key. But before she could even reach it... *enter*. Sorry Carmen, but it's for your own good. She let out a little eep, and sat there startled, waiting for something. And then...

BuckIsBae: is typing...

BuckIsBae: Oh... That was unexpected.

BuckIsBae: But yeah! I'd totally be up for that. Just let me know when.

Carmen's eyes widened, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She then launched out of her chair and started jumping up and down, cheering, "Yes! Yes! Eeeeee!"

It seemed that my job was done, so I went ahead and vacated the computer. After calming down, she went back to her computer and started frantically typing, making plans for her newly acquired date.

When the weekend rolled around, Carmen was quickly getting ready. Her and Trea were going to some fancy schmancy cafe in town that seemed nice. She was rushing to the door when she stopped and turned on a dime. She looked around the room a bit before saying, "I don't know if you're still here, but thank you Mirriad." And with that, she turned and left through the door, ready for what was sure to be a time of wonder.

Why did I do it? I mean, I could say I did it because I was sick of seeing her struggle, but if that was really the case, I guess I could've just left. So I don't know. Maybe I did it because I have some pent up emotions about being hurt and losing out, so I did this to hopefully free my soul from this mortal plane. Or, ya know, maybe I'm just a fan of sappy romance.

[the--lysine-contingency]

At work I was scrolling tumblr and ended up reading through some of my really old posts on here, specifically the ones from when I was graduating high school and starting college.

Alot of the posts were pretty cringe inducing, but the ones that really made me sad were the ones where I was so obviously trying to act like I loved college while also trying to communicate how miserable I was. I didn't want to be the loser that couldn't make any friends, couldn't do well in classes, couldn't get a boyfriend (still in gay denial at that point), couldn't grow up.

I was terrified of becoming that person, and all I could see was all of my friends relishing in their new adventure while I sat alone in my dorm and wrote post after post about how much i missed them. Additionally, my best friend at the time (and roommate and later toxic crush, but thats a different story) was doing everything in her power to remind me just how much i was falling behind and how everything i valued was childish (despite the fact i was essentially taking care of her while she made bad decision after bad decision). I did at one point think I had found some really nice friends that really cared about me and was finally enjoying myself, but it turns out 'love bombing' is a really common campus group recruitment tactic, and when I decided I didn't want to be active in their super religious club any more and just wanted to hang out, they completely disappeared. Senior year sure was fun. But honestly that interaction really solidified in me the notion that the friends I have are so special. At the same time though, it probably is why im so reluctant to really try and make new friends because anyone else will just dissappear.

Normally I can remember that time in my life and just brush it off and be happy I'm not there anymore, but today it really hit me that all of those things I was so afraid of, they fucking happened.

I was so afraid I wouldn't make any new friends in college. and I didn't.

I was so afraid that I wouldn't do well in school and I wouldn't get into grad school. and I didn't.

I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to get a job or move out on my own. and I didn't.

it's been over ten years. and i haven't really moved forward at all. I'm still on tumblr crying to literally no one while my friends live real lives.

[eturni]

So, we’re all just piling on the pain first before we leap into Jon’s coffee shop AU fantasies with abandon, right?

The world is static and pain and terror and Jon cannot lose control, will not lose control because he has lost so much to take his place here. Will lose so much more in mere minutes when the others discover what he has done. But Jon is determined to be the line in the sand. This far you have come, and no further. No more passing the suffering on. No more onlookers caught up in terrors they do not understand. No more childish bullies ripped into darkened doors to save someone who should have disappeared long ago.

No more strangers’ stories burning at his throat and in his conscience to maintain his life and the eye.

He has just enough control and maintains it with a trembling in his entire being because he knows what he must do. So used to the feeling of Knowing he pushes it to the side even as he passively drinks in the whole of the broken world; twisted up by it but not consumed. Not yet.

Martin’s rage, when he arrives, is pure and incandescent. It burns with a familiar shame, and every accusation he levels at Jon tear open exactly the wounds they need to. It is not nearly enough to blind Jon to the Sight of the terror that lies beneath it. Martin is so very scared. For him. Of him. Of what this means.

Jon is a monster, is the eye of the pupil, and yet all of the unspeakable horror in the world beyond filters into the back of his mind to leave room for the creeping, dawning terror that grips Martin the moment that he sees Elias and realises all that has happened. His small control of what he Sees grants him only enough freedom to be all but consumed by the terror-grief that he has caused to one of the only good things in his life.

The feedback static of his own fear as he realises what Martin has also already done gluts the eye to a near euphoria; its own pupil locked up with momentary terror.

Jon could not bear to be the one who passed his monstrous position onto even one more person. Could not bear to doom worlds purely because they weren’t his. In the end he doesn’t have to. He just has to have enough love to stay still as the static claws desperately at his brain to try and claim him.

In the end Martin’s kiss and the kiss of the blade do not feel so very different. Each is a promise and a goodbye. Each is laced with more grief than either of them should have had to bear.

And in the end there is a moment, a single one, in which the static and the pinprics of fear have finally, painfully disconnected from him. It is the first time he sees a Martin he truly loves without the terrible lense of an eldritch fear god. It is more beautiful than all the horror combined could be grotesque. He does not know, when the tower beneath them begins to crumble and the edges of his sight go dark, if Martin will survive this or follow him. But in the end the world is all that it should have been for the briefest of seconds and Jon wishes that the price could have been worth it.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Bootylicious

Stray Kids Bang Chan x Idol!Reader Summary: You're known as the gym rat in your group, and quite frankly, you only have two moods: shredding or chilling. This was why when you're not asleep in between schedules, you're spotted with a male idol you happened to meet in the gym you were at that day. It's a known fact though, that you and Bang Chan are gym buddies and each other's spotter. Word Count: 2k+ Warnings: Internet toxicity, sasaengs, vulgar language, sexism, misogyny, pining, fluff, mentions of Pentagon because why not <3, etc.

A/N: Girl, i shouldn't do this but I did. It's so funny to me someone requested this cause I have recently become an exercise junkie lol. Also, if you can't tell, there is a pov shift after the cut so yeah. I also wanted to keep the reader gender neutral but I want to write about how psychotically different people treat male and female idols because that stuff aint it. It's most definitely not what anon was expecting me to write but I hope they enjoy it nonetheless.

There's compilation in YT with growing parts centered around you flexing your physical fitness and prowess. It ranges from you affectionally touring your fans, which really meant the cameraman, through the gym, introducing your trainer, and doing your routine on camera, to your group (and others) both fawning and bragging about how strong and how hot you are.

CLIP #1: A scene from an interview of your group in Japan, struggling to talk about how you can do 40 straight push ups.

There was a male interviewer in a suit you could all faintly recognize was talking about your recent Instagram post of a gym mirror selfie.

One of your youngest members smirked and in broken Japanese, cutely said, "Wah, she does 100 push ups! Everyday, every night."

You snap your head to the maknae and raise your brows, "nani?" You begin to shake your hands in protest and begin to explain your truth, "absolutely not 100. Maybe around 40, but nooooo, not 100."

The interviewer and your group comically react in awe. The man in the suit urges, "can you show us?"

You give a face, "Excuse me, but I'm not getting paid to do that in this miniskirt."

Everyone, including the film crew, break into laughter.

CLIP #2: A scene from a variety show where you had to prove you were, in fact, yourself, by doing a shortened version of your exercise routine.

One of the hosts of the show asks, "Wait, do you honestly do all of this in your workout? Like you can do all of it?"

The list of your exercises were written on a colourful cardboard, held by the one who just spoke. It was a range of exercises in 10 sets, from jumping jacks to sit ups, to vague sounding exercises like crab pinches and robot arms.

You purse your lips at the last question asked of you, not really liking the tone in which it was asked. You answer quickly and nod proudly, "I actually do more, cause when I get in the zone and I'm already really sweaty, I feel like I should keep going until my whole body burns." You chuckle.

The older hosts, tilt their head and mutter lowly under their breath something along the lines of, "I'd rather die."

You finally do the routine, quickly, continuously, earning impressed reactions from everyone.

"That's hot," one of the hosts note.

"Ya, for some reason it looks easy to do."

The hosts begin to clamour at that statement, and force whoever said to do the exact thing you did. Clearly, they don't work out as much as you do and cannot even get halfway through it without stopping.

You break out into a breathless laugh in amusement of the comical attempt but then protest, explaining how bad it is to force yourself to do more than you can

CLIP #3: Pentagon, Hongseok especially, fawns over how fit you are

Trailing a conversation about how your group is close with Pentagon because your companies are situated closely to each other and you wind up eating together a lot, there is an anecdote about how there was a jar no one could open, no one but you, that is.

The interviewer asks no one in particular, "wah, none of you could open the jar? Really? Or did you all just pretend so she could open it?"

There is a chorus of answers concluding with, "no really, she was the only one that was able to open it."

The story is backed up by how the jar had a really small lid and some hands were too big. Then came an explanation how you were recently into the new rock climbing machine in your gym.

Hongseok speaks up, "I was invited to go to rock climbing in, like, an actual rock climbing place and I was honestly so surprised when she began to climb. She said she never actually tried rock climbing on a wall, but it seemed like she had been doing it for years."

Shinwon agrees, "Right, right. I was also really curious about what they did that day," he points to Hongseok, "that I joined them one time. I never felt so out of shape in my life. I just stayed back and filmed everything."

Pentagon laughs, and then agrees that you were exceptionally fast and just super fit in all honesty.

The interviewer catches Hongseok's expression then suddenly asks, "do you like a woman like that?"

"Yeah, I like my women strong."

Then came a lot of teasing remarks from Pentagon, and a plethora of complaints from delusional fans who did not want Hongseok to ever breathe in your direction again.

With all that's been said about that, in all the parts of this series floating around in the internet, one thing remained, there was a slightly larger population of impressed fans than the still large portion of antifans who wanted nothing to do with it and only came around to hate.

It's hard not to think about it, but even the slightest back handed compliment can sometimes linger in one's mind.

And right now, as much as I kept my mind on my counting as I finished my set high knees, I couldn't help but think of how much backlash I got from posting a post workout photo with my midriff exposed.

Apparently that was not only enough to merit hate for being both a whore and an attention whore, but people baselessly began to hate on my groupmates simply for being associated with me.

It's kind of sad really, how, say Wonho, can post a fairly exposed photo of himself and get so much praise for it, and yet I couldn't even do anything remotely close to that.

And I don't even mean to come at Wonho, we all know he's a beast at the gym and should be able to show as much of his hard work as he is comfortable in showing, but why can't I?

"Hey trooper. I thought you said you were only doing 80 counts?" a voice cracks me out of my train of thought.

I turn to whom spoke and chuckle at myself as I stop my leg raises, "ah yeah, I got lost in thought, and your really good song."

I pull on my earphones and give a lopside smile, "I love working out to God's Menu."

He gives a soft, "he he, thanks."

"No need for a thank you when I'm only giving my honest opinion, Chan."

"Yeah, well still, it makes my kokoro go doki-doki," he sniggers, crossing his arms and flashing a dimpled smile. I raise my upper lip and reel back, "EWWW!"

I playfully shove him. He acts hurt, "this is violence against children."

"Chan, you're literally older than me."

"That doesn't mean I'm not a child at heart."

"You mean, it doesn't mean you're not a drama queen."

"Hey, I have no interest in having a throne, my only interest is," he leans in and whispers, "you."

I feel my soul leave my body as he snorts to himself and runs away. I regurgitate in surprise, "YA!"

"You better do your next set properly," Chan says heading off to a cable row machine, "I'm always watching."

I try to ignore the blood rushing up your neck, "creep."

He shrugs, "rather that or have you get injured, sweet heart."

Yeah, Chan has saved me from a lot of injuries I could have had. It was a bad habit. It stemmed from the same thing that made me mess up my count a while ago, my overthinking.

Sometimes I thought of rather harmless things, but sometimes I began to fixate on the hate I received for simply being. I do a lot to get my mind to realize that they hated me simply because they could and because it was easy. Exercising helped tremendously, especially when I had someone fun to work out with, especially when I was with Chan. He just... made me feel safe, y'know.

But when the news of us being work out buddies surfaced, a lot of sasaengs came for me. Of course, a lot of Stays and my own fans were really kind about, speaking out that we were our own people and exercising together did not mean anything in particular really.

But some really went for it, and made it a hobby to comment on everything I was in that I was a slut for 'working out' with different men every day."

I let out a breath as I finish my routine. I catch my breath and go for a swig of my water. I take a moment then sit down by the mirror, which was near where Chan was currently working out.

"You're doing it again."

I turn from where I was blankly staring at turn to Chan who gave me a soft look, "you good?"

I release a sigh then purse my lips, "maybe."

He pouts, "what happened?"

I shrug and stand from where I sat, "you know, the usual."

Chan then comes up to me and takes my water bottle from me, "you know, no matter how much people say you don't need water to live, you can never change the fact that you are extremely dependent on water to live."

I look at him and half- heartedly point, "are you calling me thirsty?"

He begrudgingly groans and releases a chuckle. He calls my name out in a scolding tone. I feel myself relax, "I know what you're getting at Chan."

He nods, "good. I'll always be here to remind you of that."

I smile and feel an urge to hug him, "if you weren't so sweaty, I would totally hug you right now."

Chan then gives me a look then does not hesitate to crush me into his arms. I groan and whine in protest. He chuckles, "you literally just said you wanted a hug!"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEATY. NO ONE WANTS THIS TORTURE."

Chan huffs and gives a wounded look, "hmp. You better spot me while I lift or else I'm unfriending you."

"Hmm... I think I'll be good without you as a friend."

I half expect Chan to whine about it, but he instead smirks, "ahhhh, you must want me to be your boyfriends so badly huh."

I- I mean...

CLIP #4: A crack edit of Chan when he gets asked about his gym relationship with me in Chan's Room.

He was looking through the questions and suddenly chuckles, his ears noticeably began to redden. Cue a zoom in of his face and his red ears. Cue a clip of Cardi B saying, "that's suspicious."

He says my name then continues, "am I close with her? Yeah. I would say I'm close with her-- and her whole group actually."

Captioned: Nice save, Chris.

"The kids and I are close with her group," he says, clearing his throat.

A clip of him clearing his throat is repeated about ten times.

Chan adjust the beanie he was wearing as he thinks of what he was going to say next, "we actually do work out together a lot because she's under a trainer that works with my trainer."

Captioned: Sure, Chan. That's the only reason, right?

Chan catches another question, "Is she a beast in the gym like Hongseok says?" He breaks into a laugh. He then rubs his cheek and grits his teeth.

A clip of someone saying, "Oh he's jealous," flashes on screen.

"Yeah," Chan finally says, "she's got a really high stamina."

Cue the clip, WHAT DID HE SAY?

Chan continues, "she can go between exercises without stopping. she doesn't even take that much time to catch her breath. In fact, she sings while exercising sometimes, which helps make her vocals stable."

Captioned: Queen Tingz.

The next thing that happens is Chan breaks into a laugh and begins to chuckle. He says, "Sorry I saw a funny comment."

Captioned: WHAT HE MEANS IS HE SAW A COMMENT SAYING 'SHUT UP CHRIS, YOU'RE WHIPPED."

Then came these comments:

LITERALLY LOOK AT HOW FLUFFY BANG CHAN GETS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT HER DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME MY SHIP IS ALIVE

They are dating period. prove me wrong. you cant

Chan literally blushes over anything, buT HE TURNED INTO A TOMATO WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT HER BYE

if you hate on your faves loving each other, you most definitely need Jesus (:

PLEASE CAN YOU SEE HOW WHIPPED THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER

Yeah... it's not been confirmed to this day.

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Five // Wanda Maximoff

chapter four | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter six

author’s note: dying of cramps but didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging, so enjoy! x

Taking Wanda to Blackpool was something I couldn't stop thinking about for the past three days.

I kept telling myself that I had to remain calm, not make her feel uncomfortable with my obvious attraction to her, and to give her the best day out considering she'd never been before. It wasn't anything more than a girl spending time with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, and I had to keep reminding myself that whenever I'd feel a stir of desire in my chest at the thought her pretty smile or intoxicating gaze.

My family were thrilled when they heard of my plans with Wanda. My parents were glad I was actually making an effort to get on with her, whilst my brother was excited I was becoming 'best friends', as he put it, with his fiancé. That one stung a little, the guilt pricking my insides, but I convinced myself that that was exactly what I was doing. It wasn't wrong if I didn't think of Wanda in any way but what she was. Right?

The weekend came around quickly enough, and on Saturday morning, I met with Wanda at the train station where she waiting for me with an enthusiastic smile.

"I brought my watercolours and sketchbook so I can paint what's there," she explained as we boarded the train. "I also bought a lot of pencils in case some snap. I'm gonna draw everything I see so I don't forget a single thing."

We slid into our seats and I smiled with admiration as she continued to ramble about all of the things she wanted to do today. She looked so lively when she spoke, her hands moving about frantically to express her excitement, and her lips permanently etched into a smile when she wittered on. I didn't mean to stare, but God, she looked beautiful.

"Thank you again for doing this," she finished, head turning to mine.

Now, I'd read and written many clichés of someone falling for someone else, particularly the moment they knew they were too far gone. It was hard to believe if they were true depictions of liking someone, but I liked reading and writing them.

It was now that I learnt that they were no exaggeration, for when she looked my way with a beaming smile and glowing green eyes, I knew it was too late. There was no going back for my attraction to Wanda.

"No need to thank me," I spoke slowly, surprised I could speak at all since she'd knocked the breath from my lungs. "I'm glad you're excited."

The journey was a few hours long and we made conversation the whole way. It was the longest I'd spent alone with her since meeting her and I was intrigued by everything she had to say, hanging onto every word with all of my attention. If that wasn't enough, her accent only made everything she said sound so much better. She was naturally soft-spoken, but syllables rolled off her tongue in a silky, raspy way with her accent entwined in her words. I loved it.

At one point, the topic of our families came up and I felt like my brother came up in almost every conversation I'd had with anyone who discussed family, so I took this as my opportunity to get to know hers instead.

"What's it like to have a twin?" I asked, leaning on my elbow as I watched her attentively.

She mirrored my action playfully, though answered my question. "It's just like having a normal sibling, except they're way more annoying."

I smiled, imaging just how annoying Pietro could be as a sibling.

"I love Pietro, but he's very frustrating at times," she spoke with a hint of endearment. "He constantly throws it in my face that's he's older than me by twelve minutes. As if that makes a difference."

A chuckle flew from my lips as she pouted at her own words.

"But he's also my best friend," she said with a sigh, like that fact was irritating in itself. "He knows me better than anyone and he's the easiest person for me to talk to. I don't have to hide anything from him." She paused, glancing upwards in thought. "Well, almost anything."

Pursing my lips, I wondered what she meant as she mumbled the last part, but didn't question it. Everyone was entitled to their secrets.

"So, you and your family moved to England when you were kids, right?" I tried to recall what my parents had told me of them. "From Sokovia."

"Yes, we were about..." She scrunched up her nose as she tried to remember. "Eight years old, I think?"

"Wow, that's young," I realised.

She hummed in agreement, smile fading as her eyes fell to her hands. "Yeah... I don't remember much, but there was a lot of unrest at the time. A war. It was dangerous for everyone and my parents were lucky to get us out when they did."

I frowned, knowing some of this already, but it was sadder to hear when it was coming from Wanda herself.

"Our extended family didn't make it out," she continued to explain, voice quieter. "I didn't know them much, my parents' siblings, so it's not that sad for me. Pietro, too. But it's strange to think, you know? Especially when all of your family are around with this wedding and–" She sighed, shaking her head and looking to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

I straightened up, reassuring her instantly. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. It's okay. I... I didn't know any of that. I'm glad you told me."

She nodded, though the regret was still present in her gaze.

"I'm sorry all of that happened," I expressed honestly, not looking away. "But I'm glad you're here, if it makes a difference. You– your family are good people."

A small, appreciative smile graced her lips. "Thank you."

I shrugged, trying to brush it off so she wouldn't notice the heat rising up my neck. "It's nothing... so Sokovia. You speak Russian and English. That's pretty bloody cool."

She laughed wholeheartedly and any hint of sadness disappeared from her face, reassuring me completely. I didn't like to see her sad, especially when there was nothing I could do to make her feel better that I knew of.

"I promise to teach you some Russian today," she said with amusement. "A few words, just to diversify your vocabulary."

"Gee, thanks."

Another laugh escaped her and I chewed on my lip to contain my grin. I could get used to that sound.

—

When we reached Blackpool, Wanda was radiating with excitement. We couldn't make it two steps anywhere before she whipped out her sketchbook and began to sketch. She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to capture everything she saw.

I was patient, since the reason we came was for her, and watched as she worked. It was cute, seeing her concentrate and trying to stop dancing around with excitement every time I showed her something new.

We walked along the promenade and dipped in and out of the shops, looking at the gifts and clothes they sold. We bought a few things to commemorate the trip, but then Wanda was quick to drag me back outside so she could sketch the view of the beach from where we were stood. The grin on her face was convincing enough for me to let her drag me wherever she wanted. She looked so happy and I didn't care about anything else.

Eventually, around lunchtime, we headed to a café to have a break from all the excitement. Or rather, a break from running around. For Wanda, it was a better opportunity to sit still and sketch some more.

"So, you're drinking what, Y/N?" she asked, not looking up from her sketches as she worked.

I looked at my tea and lowered the cup. "Er, tea?"

"In Russian," she instructed.

"Oh." I cleared my throat, remembering what she taught me earlier. "Chay."

"And what's in the chay?" she asked, lifting her eyes to meet mine patiently. "The milk?"

"Moloko," I remembered, and the proud smile on her face reassured me I was correct. My shoulders relaxed as I returned her smile. "Thanks."

"You're a natural," she assured me, before looking back to her sketchbook. "I only taught you the words. You remembered it yourself. And before you know it, ty budesh' govorit' polnymi predlozheniyami na russkom."

My mouth opened with confusion, not knowing what she said. She seemed to realise as she chuckled at my expression.

"Never mind, milaya (darling)," she said with humoured eyes, before resuming her sketching.

I breathed out, taking another sip of my tea before grabbing a fork to dig into my pasta. As I chewed, I watched Wanda move her pencil effortlessly, creating lines that somehow resulted in a perfect drawing of the horizon.

"Do you only draw and paint landscapes?" I asked curiously.

"I can do portraits, too," she answered with a nod, glancing at me. "But they're never as good."

I gave her a knowing look. "I doubt that."

She merely smiled in response, eyes meeting mine for a moment, before shaking her head with amusement and looking back to her sketches. I chuckled, leaving her to it as I enjoyed my lunch and read the newspaper.

It was nice to just sit and enjoy each other's company as we did our own thing. I'd occasionally glance up to see Wanda focused on her drawing and smile, allowing myself to appreciate the sight, before looking back down to the paper and enjoying my pasta.

By the time I finished my food, as had Wanda, she straightened up and tore a page from her sketchbook. The noise pulled me from my reading and I looked up to see her holding the paper towards me.

I quirked a brow, but she simply shook the paper, signalling for me to take it. With confusion, I took it and became speechless when I saw what she'd drawn. It was me reading the paper, the exact view she must have had from being sat opposite me. It looked exactly like me, probably better since I knew I didn't look that good, and I was amazed at her talent all over again.

"You did this just now?" I asked with disbelief, looking up at her.

She shrugged and distracted herself with her pencil. "Yeah, it's not much. It's not my specialty."

I scoffed. "You're kidding. Wanda, this is amazing!"

Bashful smile on her lips, she glanced up at me. "Maybe it's the best portrait I've done. But I think that's down to my subject."

Even when she was embarrassed, she was still capable of turning the tables on me, leaving me a flustered mess. It was like her superpower. A very annoyingly cute superpower.

"That's what you look like y'know," she continued, nodding to the paper in my hand. "When you're focused on reading. You chew your lip with thought. And you get this little crease–" she pointed between her brows with a laugh, "–right here, and you seem to forget that anything else exists."

A sweet smile spread on her face as she tilted her head, watching me with intimidating eyes, very much aware of the effect her words had on me.

"You're very observant," I said, trying not to stutter, her gaze making me nervous. "Perfect skill for an artist."

She hummed in agreement, though didn't look away. "Mere artistic observation, right?"

My heart was hammering in her chest the longer she stared, especially when her words dawned on me. I'd said the exact same thing after she confronted me about picking her ring. I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Just like the first time I saw her, I was at a loss for words and couldn't look away. She was compelling, beautiful and remarkable all at once.

—

"Nebo," I said, hoping it was the correct word for 'sky' in Russian, as Wanda had taught me.

She grinned. "Yes! And horizon?"

I pulled a face as I thought carefully. "Er...gorizont?"

"The student is soon to become the master," she said, and I rolled my eyes, knowing that was anything but the truth. I appreciated her encouragement though.

"Okay, before we head to the beach, we have to buy some rock," I told her, leading her to the stall on the promenade. "I got it last time and it's so good."

She furrowed her brows. "What's that?"

I smiled at her expression. "It's a sweet. Kind of like boiled sugar that's formed into a stick of, well, rock."

She didn't seem convinced. "If you say it's good, I trust you, I guess..."

I laughed, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the stall. "You'll love it."

After getting two sticks of rock for Wanda and I, we began to walk to the sand. I glanced at the brunette, wanting to see her reaction. She eyed the hard candy before attempting to bite it, a small piece breaking off at the top. Crunching on it, she scrunched her nose up.

"It's hard," she noted, swallowing the piece. "Tasty, though."

"It's better if you suck on it, love," I let her know with a hidden smile. "Tastes much better."

She did as I said, beginning to suck on the top, and seemed to enjoy it more. Giving me a thumbs up as she sucked it, I couldn't help but laugh again. She looked adorable, so I left her to it and did the same as we walked along the sand and towards the benches in the distance.

Like a child experiencing something for the first time, she began to point excitedly at Blackpool Tower and the ferris wheel in the distance and I just kept nodding along, letting her get excited because it made my heart skip a beat every time she flashed me a smile.

When we reached the benches, I was glad that today wasn't a busy day. It wasn't exactly tourist season, so the beach was scarce of anyone but residents of the town. And even then, our side of the beach was pretty empty, giving us first dibs on a bench that wasn't broken or uncomfortable.

Settling on it, Wanda pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged so she could lean on them and pull out her watercolours. I sat beside her and leaned back, inhaling the salty air and exhaling peacefully. I never had much reason to visit here apart from when my parents took my brother and I on the occasional trip, but it was nice to appreciate the sound of the ocean washing over the sand and the seagulls squawking in the sky. A big difference compared to back home.

Another silence formed between us as she painted the water ahead, and I couldn't help but glance her way, watching her pucker her lips with concentration. All she'd wanted was this and I was glad I could finally give it to her.

So she wouldn't notice, I looked away and stared out at the blue expanse of ocean before me. I should have been appreciating its beauty, but all I could think about was how it was no contest to the girl sat beside me.

"I'm really glad you brought me here today," she said out of the blue after a while, "but I wouldn't have said yes if I'd known you would be bored."

I looked to her and saw she was still preoccupied by her painting. "I'm not bored. We came here so you could see the water and find some new subjects to paint. And that's exactly what we're doing."

She sighed, looking up at me with a questioning glance.

Smiling reassuringly, I said, "I like the quiet. And I like watching you work. You look happy. It's good to see."

She tensed her jaw, stifling a smile, but her eyes said it all. She was grateful. Of course, her eyes were also very easy to get lost in, even if she didn't mean for me to. And right now, under the sun, I found myself drowning in pools of blue.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, a hint of a smile on her face.

Stupidly, I felt compelled to tell her the truth. "I'm thinking about how you have really pretty eyes."

Attempting to make me flustered yet again, her favourite hobby by now I was guessing, she raised a brow teasingly. "Oh, really?"

It didn't bother me this time though, as I maintained eye contact and felt my heart swelling with adoration. "Yes. It's like you hold all the elements in a single gaze."

Her smile faded and that's when I realised what I'd said, my heart dropping to my stomach in an instant. Swallowing hard, I looked away and shook my head. An apology was waiting on the tip of my tongue when she spoke with realisation.

"It was you."

I glanced her way nervously. "What was?"

She was staring like her mind was working something out and I was the missing piece. "The letter that Y/B/N gave me last week. He wrote the exact same thing. What you just said."

My brows knitted together with confusion, then it hit me. The love letter Y/B/N wrote. The one he assured me was for his own eyes. He'd given it to her. And I'd just gone and said the exact thing he'd written on it, no doubt passing it off as is his own words.

"Th–that wasn't me," I got out, shaking my head slowly. "I didn't even know he gave you a letter, Wanda."

She continued to watch me, eyes squinting with scepticism. I swallowed hard under her gaze, trying to think of how I could come back from this. But apparently I didn't have to, because she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.

My mind was foggy when her fingers rested behind my neck, tugging me closer. I closed my eyes, melting at her touch, and began to kiss her back, moving my lips against hers. She was slow and gentle with me, her lips as soft as they looked and sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. I could have kissed her forever and been content, but my brain finally caught up to my actions and I reluctantly pulled away, stunned.

Glancing around to make sure nobody saw us – there was literally nobody here – I caught my breath and looked back to Wanda. Her eyes were drawn to my lips before they flickered to meet mine, darkened with desire.

"Why did you do that?" was all I could think to ask, and I was acutely aware of her fingers still grasping my neck, the skin burning where her tips grazed.

She licked her swollen lips, expression softening. "I think I've been falling for the wrong Y/L/N."

My lips pressed together, missing the feeling of hers against them. Never in a million years did I expect her to say something like that. I thought she'd been teasing me this whole time, but now, maybe there was truth to her actions.

"Did you really mean what you said?" she asked apprehensively.

"What?"

She swallowed. "What you said about my eyes. Did you mean it?"

Well, she'd kissed me, so there was no going back now.

I nodded, noticing the hesitance in her eyes. "Yes... you're beautiful, Wanda."

She didn't say anything and the silence was deafening. I almost wanted to run back home and pretend this never happened, but that was the cowardly side of me. The other side, the disbelieving side, wanted to stay here with her and keep living in this little bubble we'd created.

"Can I kiss you again?" she finally spoke, eyes flickering between mine for confirmation.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded slowly, and she didn't waste another second as she leaned in once again. This time, I wasn't so surprised, so I kissed her back quickly, trying not to think about how wrong this was. How I'd been taught that this was wrong. Because I refused to believe this was wrong, that it was a sin, when it felt so damn right.

Wanda felt right.

—

When I got home later that afternoon, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Wanda was all that was on my mind. Everything about her was floating around up there – the contagiousness of her smile, the brightness of her eyes, the taste of her lips. When I left this morning, I wasn't expecting to return with– well, I wasn't sure what we were, but we'd decided to give whatever this was a go.

Of course, she was still engaged to my brother, but I tried not to think about that. She made me happy and maybe in a different lifetime we could have been together, but this was the wrong lifetime which meant I'd have to make some wrong decisions, this possibly being one of them.

The guilt was still present, but the adoration I had for Wanda overpowered it. The fact that she actually liked me back was too thrilling for me to even concern myself with the lack of future this relationship would have. I just wanted to enjoy what we had whilst we had it, even if it meant being together in secret.

"So, how did your trip go?" my mum asked me when I returned, looking up from her knitting.

I stifled my grin the best I could. "It was fun. Wanda loved the seaside."

My mother seemed pleased as she smiled my way. "Y/N, that's great. You know, I'm really proud of you for making an effort with her. It means a lot to everyone."

"Mhm."

"She's going to be your sister-in-law after all," she continued knowingly, "so it's good you're spending time with her. Maybe you could do it more."

I hummed in agreement, my heart fluttering at the possibility of spending more time with Wanda. "Yeah, that could be good."

"Go on upstairs, you must be tired from the travelling," she said after a moment, noticing my distant headspace. "I'm glad you had fun today."

Wanda's smile appeared in my mind again, her lips ghosting my own. I sighed contently.

"Me, too."

[tangledinmdzs]

Ahhhh... this last ask of yours had been out just a couple hours ago, and I reread it 5 times already, help. Jk, leave me be, when I read your writings, I'm in heaven, it's sooooo good, pure goodness, amazing. Also since we are on this topic, maybe I can request something about drunk Lan bros + WWX and JC when their wife/gf is babysitting them (in canon universe, if it's possible)?

i think drunk au is everyone's (cough cough me) secret pleasure.

personally love writing these so let me just add a few more of our mdzs characters to the mix

(you can read Lan Xichen's solo drunk escapades here)

to your request~

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Lan Wangji

you don't quite know how drunk Lan Wangji is until he stands

"Hanguang-Jun," you comment, steadying Lan Wangji even as he towers above you,

you hear something between a groan and a hum as Lan Wangji shakes his arm out of your grasp, just to try and stand straight by himself

very obviously

he fails

"Hanguang-Jun," you tsk, slightly annoyed, more so worried

the slight edge of your voice, Lan Wangji surprises catches onto even though he is quite wasted

and he somewhat calms his antics, even though he can't really walk in a straight line

Lan Wangji lets you drape his arm onto your shoulders to guide him up the stairs to your shared room, putting up less of a fuss now that he's seen how annoyed you are

you manage to make it back to your room with him in one piece

and the moment the door closes,

you both drop onto floor in a tired heap

because Lan Wangji was heavy and literally leaned on you the whole time

you let out a loud sigh, moving to extract yourself from Lan Wangji's side

but your husband clings onto you, this odd moment of touch that he rarely does,

when you try to move his arm from around your shoulders, he wraps them tighter to the point where you're swallowed up by his long robes, his arms, his scent , his everything

the alcohol tinges the air

"don't you want to get ready for bed?" you ask quietly,

his arms periodically tighten around you, like he's afraid you'd fly off

Lan Wangji hums to answer, his breath fanning against the bottom of your neck

"are you going to make me sleep on the floor with you-"

"stay, like this," Lan Wangji utters for the first time,

you're surprised at his words

and even more surprised when you feel him nuzzle into your neck from behind you

stay with me, you know he means

and even though the floor is cold

you're warm in his arms as you lay together for the night

Wei Wuxian

this man's tolerance for alcohol is not light by any means

so you are surprised that you see him as he is now

absolutely

completely

wasted

"hic- y/n ah," Wei Wuxian greets you, when you open your inn door

you let out a yelp as he teeters onto you, the jugs he's holding in his hands clicking against one another's

"Wei Wuxian, you're heavy!" you whine against his face, where Wei Wuxian has leaned almost all of his weight onto you, lodging his face into the crook of your neck

"y/n - hic - you smell so nice," Wei Wuxian comments,

you roll your eyes even though he can't see you

and then proceed to blow a long breath of warm air straight into his ear

it gets him standing again quite quickly, now with a new pout on his face

"-hic- hic- y/n, how could you?" Wei Wuxian pouts at you, one hand rubbing at his ear while his lower lip juts out

"because you're being a menace, now go back to your own room," you tell Wei Wuxian, jutting your thumb into the direction of the door next to yours

Wei Wuxian pouts at you, shakes his head

"we're engaged! don't i have the right to be in the same room with you!" Wei Wuxian whines,

you let out a little laugh at him, shake your head

"you've waited for me for three years you can't wait another three days?" you ask him

Wei Wuxian makes a face at you, puts up a funny kind of fuss just as you expect him to

and before he wakes up the entire inn with all his whining, you put a stop to his antics,

"alright alright alright, gimme that" you say snagging the two liquor jars that he carried along with him,

"be a good boy and go back to your room, if i get drunk enough with these," at that you raise the two jars up at him,

"i'll come and find you myself," you tell him,

it's an enticing proposition one that has Wei Wuxian settling down against the door way, a sparkle in his eyes

"alright," he says simply leaning in to steal a quick peck from you

his kiss tastes like liquor, with a sweet aftertaste

when you close the door, holding up the jars to look at for yourself

you take your first sip of liquid courage

in the room next door,

Wei Wuxian sits down at his own tea table, sobering himself up

to wait for you

Jiang Cheng

your hand comes up to steady Jiang Cheng's when he lifts yet another cup of wine up to his lips

"that's enough," you tell Jiang Cheng, as gently as you can

but it's been hours

and five jugs empty

if he had listened to you

he would have stopped a long time ago

Jiang Cheng hiccups to himself,

and sat beside him in the quiet of the riverside port, you catch this odd melancholy look on his face, one that he pushes away every time he downs his cup

even though you know he should have stopped a while ago,

you can't bring your heart to

not when he looks so sad,

"tell me what's wrong, instead of drinking like this," you coax to Jiang Cheng, a little later when the last jug is on its last few cups

Jiang Cheng hiccups, huffs this kind of half sigh

"A-Cheng," you tell him, tugging his arm back when he reaches for yet another jar

Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath,

and suddenly

pouts,

it's a different sight on his usually serious face

and it's absolutely endearing,

"i..."

you watch, wait with bated breath

"i want to marry you now!" Jiang Cheng whines out, frustrated tears springing up from his eyes,

"i don't want to wait for the auspicious date or the arrangements or the politics or the world or anything,

"i just want you

"i want you to be my wife now," Jiang Cheng says

and you smile, hushing him as you lean over to wipe away his tears, even as the same water is falling from your eyes,

"whatever you want i'll follow," you tell him once he's calmed down and Jiang Cheng turns to look at you, eyes wide

"i can be your wife now, tomorrow, any time, every day, always," you tell him

because honestly, you know it always seemed like the world was holding a barrier against your love

but when you see Jiang Cheng's hopeful eyes again

you know that there is nothing that can possibly stand between your love for one another

[lcisabc23]

•am I the only one who can't find any story that's mainly about the twins? And no ocs or anything just a story about the twins:']•

Fred noticed how his twin was getting quieter but paid no mind to it, that's just how George was he was the quieter twin the slightly less mischievous one the one no one really paid attention to, Not that Fred really noticed that he thought his twin was treated equally to him seeing how George is basically his other half, but one time George finally blew up.

"George I don't get why you're acting like this I thought their our friends?" Fred asked George looked down clenching his hands not wanting to burst out in tears "no Fred theyre your friends not mine, you don't see the way they pick on me? When your not paying attention they call me names they say shit all like 'oh Georgie is nothing without his brother, georgie can't do anything alone he always has to follow his brother, and and! George why do you always try to take Fred's spotlight' when I don't do shit I can't do it anymore Fred if you want to friends with them fine but don't drag me along with you this time cause I'm done, and honestly ive tried to keep it to myself but i cant anymore" George said with tears in his eyes and a tear rolling down his face Ron and ginny watched in shock seeing the twins fight for the first time "what's going on here!?" Percy said coming down from the stairs hearing the yelling from the prefect dorms seeing one of his twin brothers storm past him with tears rolling down his face made him shocked.

Fred looked down shocked his heart hurt, his little brother, his Georgie was feeling this way because of him? "Look I don't know what happened but you have to fix that or else im writing to mum" Percy said walking back up the stairs going after George "i.. I didn't know.." Fred mumbled to himself slowly crumbling down into himself as his eyes began to grow teary his youngest siblings came up to him and hugged him "its alright he'll forgive you you're his twin after all.!" Ginny said trying to cheer up her brother Ron nodding in agreement "yeah it'll be fine Fred" Ron added Fred shook his head "that's not the point, the point is that I didn't even notice the people I called friends were picking on Georgie my other half I'm ashamed to even call myself a good brother.!" He said breaking down in his siblings arms ginny and Ron looked at one another with sadness for their brothers.

Meanwhile upstairs in the dorms.

-----------------------------------------------------

George sat on his bed trying to hold back his tears his lip trembling once in awhile, Percy walked in "hey George" he said sitting next to his younger brother making George tense up and look up slightly only to see Percy "what are you here to tell me to stop being dramatic? Or to tell me to stop acting immature? What is it percy" George spit out with a glare in his eyes as he looked at Percy his eyes red from the obvious tears running down his face. Percy frowned slight at his younger brothers words. "no I'm here to tell you George that I understand how you feel I was like that with Charlie when he was in school with me I was basically in his shadow everyone would butter up to me trying to earn Charlie's friendship and try to get with him" Percy started making George roll his eyes at Percy's words, Fred finished talking to his younger siblings and went upstairs approaching the doors of his and georges dorm the door was slightly ajar he heard George start talking "I'm not jealous of Fred I'm scared of losing him I'm a coward without him Percy.. everyone always and I mean always when they see how quiet I am they turn to Fred yet when I try to act louder they tell me that I'm trying too hard and I'm annoying I just don't know what to do Percy I love my twin but sometimes I think he deserves better than me because I bloody suck" he ranted to Percy tucking his head back into his knees as he quietly said aloud "sometimes I wish Fred was born without me or go back in time and be a better brother to fred.." Fred clenched his fists and strode in and grabbed George's collar harshly pulling him up angrily "Fred!" Percy shouted shocked "George you fucking dumbass! Your my twin my other half I don't want you to change! I love you the way you are I don't care if somedays your quiet you'll always be my brother!" He shouted at George.

George sat there shocked looking up at Fred "i.." he started "no! George you don't get it! If people make fun of you, you fucking come to me! Just like how our siblings come to us when they get bullied! Just no matter what don't leave me! Don't be like that and say you wish you weren't born and all that dumb shit because I don't want that!" George's tears started up again, Percy watching from the sidelines just in case it gets physical which he knew it most likely wasnt going to get physical, truth be told Percy had never seen his younger brothers fight he never even seen them argue other than its over the broomstick to play quidditch in the backyard "fred.. it's just" "No George I fucking love you and I don't want you to die just because you don't think you aren't good enough" Fred said breaking down once again infront of his brothers he started sobbing "please georgie please don't leave me you're my brother my other half without you I would be lost.!" He said hugging George making George hug him back "I'm sorry freddie don't cry I'm not going anywhere I swear it on our future shop" he told Fred Percy smiled at them making up he walked out the dorm and shut the door.

The two youngest siblings outside the room stood up "so?" Ron and ginny both asked "they're fine, now let's go find those arseholes that made George sad" Percy said making the other two nod in agreement.

[uweresaying]

final goodbye - Shouto Todoroki x reader

In the dorms of UA high school, class 1-A had settled into their rooms for the night. Deku was probably up practicing his quirk, while Katsuki and Iida were probably fast asleep, like most of the class. It had been a long day of vigorous quirk training, pushing the limits of how far they could go. But here you were, wide awake, sitting out on the balcony of your dorm. You had a cig in one hand, and in the other, you held your worn copy of Fahrenheit 451. You had problems with falling asleep, especially since the LOV attack at summer camp, so most nights you would just end up in this exact position. As you read, you caught a glimpse of your door opening, and the air was knocked out of you when you saw the heterochronic eyes of one of your classmates looking back at you. You raised an eyebrow as you took another drag, watching him close the door behind him, and shuffle over to the glass door in front of you, taking his time to take in the scenery of your room. There he stood, the same plaid sweatpants he'd worn the first night in the dorms when Mina insisted you guys all hang out in the common room to celebrate "moving in with one another". That had been 2 years ago, so you had wondered whether or not they were the same pants, but let that thought exhale from your mind along with the cig smoke. "I thought you quit that shit." the boy said, inviting himself to lay down on the mini couch across from where you were sitting. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh, rolling your eyes at him. "I did. for about a year and 5 months." you said, taking another drag and turning your attention back to your book. Shouto let out a heavy sigh, turning away from the sky to look at you. "You know, I didn't give that key to you. It's pretty rude for you to use it." you said, not looking up from your book. "What are you talking about y/n, you did give it to me. plus, you never asked for it back. It was a gift." You let another half-assed laugh escape your lips, looking over to him with a look of surprise. "No, I didn't give it to you. I gave it to the person that you used to be. You're a stranger to me." As you met his eyes, you could see the hurt your words had caused. if you weren't about to take another drag of your cig, you would have probably smiled, but your drag was cut short when a firm hand grabbed the smoking stick from your mouth and put it out with his right hand. "Hey! What the fuck, do you know how hard it is to find a pack of-" "menthols around here?" he cut you off to finish. You felt your cheeks warming up as he sat down on the floor against the railing, looking up at you. Words were swimming in your head. You were angry. You wanted to slap him. But you also wanted to jump into his arms. Hold him close and let his strong form wrap around you and indulge in the safety only he could provide you. But instead, your muscles were stiff, water forming in your eyes, your face betraying you by letting him see a hurt expression start to cross it. "I don't know what you want from me." you finally uttered out, looking down at your chipped toenails that were crossed in your chair. "I want you to lie to me and tell me that the person looking back at me wasn't created because of the hurt I caused." he said, drawing your eyes back to him. You laughed a little, rolling your eyes before licking your lips and looking up at him again. "Well, I'm not a good liar, so I think you're shit out of luck." you said, making him smile a little. "Yeah, a good liar has never been high on your resume. I remember when you came to my dorm reeking of whiskey, thinking you had convinced me you hadn't been drinking with Mina and Ochako." he said, letting a small smile cross his lips. You smiled too, leaning back and looking up at the sky. "Yeah, and you bitched them out for encouraging me to drink on a school night while all three of us were hungover." you said, watching a plane fly by in the distance. You both sat in silence for a bit, in fact, you had let your eyes fall shut, just enjoying the sounds of nighttime. "I never meant to act the way I did." he

said, causing you to look at him, a lazy look over your face, before rolling your eyes and looking back up at the sky. "It's all water under the bridge at this point. It happened. I let it, and you go." you lied. "It honestly surprises me you feel anything about me, let alone remorse for how you treated me." you said, beginning to feel fed up with this surprise visit you knew shouldn't have been allowed in the first place. "Y/n, I felt a lot of things, I just didn't know how to express them, I didn't know-" "How to communicate your feelings. Look, I know okay. I preached that shit to everyone who tried to talk shit about you when I was sobbing my eyes out to them, trying to figure out what the fuck I had done wrong." you said, your mind not able to stop your mouth before it was too late. Shouto looked at you, and he looked hurt, but he also looked, to you, pathetic. "And you know what, I treated you fucking amazing. I got clean for you. I stopped smoking weed and cigs and stopped drinking, I worked on my quirk that you insisted I was 'throwing away', and worked my ass off to get good grades that I didn't give a shit about until you. I had gotten better. I was doing amazing. and then out of nowhere, you break up with me." you said, letting your words sink in before continuing, "And you know, at first, I was sad, but figured we could have somewhat of a good friendship. I fully intended to continue to get good grades and be the little perfect angel that I expected myself to be to feel like i was enough for you, but then you pretended I didnt exist. You acted like even looking in my direction would kill you. And don't even get me started with you saying you had been thinking about leaving me for two weeks before you actually did it." you said, tears spilling from your eyes, but you kept your voice and face stern. "So don't. just please don't. Just let me live, Shouto. You had no right to come here tonight. You should have thrown that damn key in the trash just like you did with me." you spat, not even bothering to look at him. You knew you'd regret everything you said if you saw him hurt by it, and you didn't want to apologize. All you had wanted since he broke up with you was for him to feel even a fraction of the pain you had felt. But your eyes wandered to him anyway. He was looking at you, dumbstruck. "What?" you spat, more hot tears streaming down your face. He said nothing as he stood, and pulled the key from his pocket, a chain attached to it, with a familiar locket clanking against the key as he held it out to you. Your eyes were blurry from the tears, and you were frozen as he set the chain in your hand. Before he left, he choked, saying, "You're right. You deserve to be allowed to move on. I'm sorry I came." He then kissed the top of your head, before walking back in, leaving you alone once more. You pulled the necklace out from under your shirt, the same locket from his key necklace around your neck. You poped the two of them open and out them side by side. Inside were pictures, in his, was your smiling face with his arms around you, and in yours, the same picture, only the other half, with him smiling with your arms around him. on the opposite side, carved into the gold medal in small letters, the words "私の愛" stared back at you.

*bonus*

only 10 minutes after Sho had left, you found yourself curled up in your bed, sobbing into your pillow, tugging the sleeves of the old sweatshirt he had given you months prior, closer, before eventually drifting off.