#rainbowrosegames writing

[rainbowrosegames]

Pitied Demigoddess

An original poem by RainbowRoseGames

I say that I need to doubt myself less

But I prove myself wrong time and again

I'm such an aggravating mess

I fall at crucial times both now and then

Oh, theres something deeply wrong with me!

Idiocy, manipulation, and hypocrisy

I watch myself through glass with no control

Overflow, there goes the words I can't hold!

Oh, it doesn't make sense at all!

Why have these people made me their idol?

I'm perfect with socialization

How do I appear to you?

I'm always kind and weeping with my eyes of blue

You all adore me with no realization!

Oh, there's nothing right with me!

Why can't any of you see?

I'm all rusted from the inside

Every few months I crash and die!

Oh, I'll never understand this idolatry

I'm sorry for invoking within you all such pity

Even though some of my words are hyperbole

I was once a functioning idol helping back then

Rust now covers my mind and body

I'll see you all when I reincarnate again

Like my writing? Consider reblogging and/or checking out my writing tag #rainbowrosegames writing !! It helps me know I'm not (that) crazy :3

[rainbowrosegames]

Ash was falling from the sky until it stopped, like there was nothing left to burn. I was left the only one alive with the castle and family sword, Stázhōr that would sometimes be the vessel my god Yarrou would speak through to me. I don't understand how this came to be. I did everything right...! I killed my wretched, corrupt father and sister, and took the throne, I brought prosperity to my empire and made amends with the foreign nations! I repented and went to Yarrou, expelling the demonic energy upon me... Was this Ymitru's doing? Was there a piece of the contract I couldn't break free from? Will I start decaying again? I'm scared and Yarrou is not answering me, it is almost like he has left this land behind... The land he made, the people he watched over... The emperor he forgave for her sins... I'm all alone here now, all alone like I was in the battlefields fighting in place of my father for his cowardice. Blood poured all over the field, bodies of comrades and then unrecognizable foes torn apart by me in a terrifying trance. All alone among the wreck, limping home. But even home is gone now. It's no longer home but an empty shelter that I have to stay in.

There are no bodies in the castle or streets, I ran for miles, too. Not even a single rat, fly, or ant. Nothing is here, the world was deathly silent. All that could be heard was my breathing, my footsteps, and my screams.

How could this happen? How could Yarrou turn his back on his people? How could he turn his back on me... His loyal disciple who fought so hard for freedom and the glory of Yarrou...

I guess I'll sit in this castle and sleep... Maybe I'll starve to death or slowly decay over thousands of years in this wasteland.

//////

I DIDN'T SEE THE FIRST SENTENCE TIL I WAS DONE WRITING OH NO welp it's probably fine

The spell worked. In a flash, the entire world was rendered dead. All plants and animals were killed in under a second, reduced to skeletons and dead plant life. Except… for you. You failed to read the fine print: You are now completely immortal, unaging, and invulnerable.

[rainbowrosegames]

This Is What a Hoarder House Is Like

An original poem by Rainbowrosegames.

I wake up and trash is all around

Deafening silence I try to drown

I get up and I kick things out of my way

"What wrinkled thing shall I wear today?"

I do my daily laundry out of necessity

I throw it on the floor saying that I'm too lazy

There's crumbs and hairballs at my feet

I go in to the bathroom and there's endless dust

It's been awhile since the shower's been cleaned

I don't do it for my lack of trust

I can't do a thing so I've convinced myself

I've trapped myself in this living hell

Nobody to call

I feel the shame when they see into the hall

There's endless dishes in the kitchen

There's not a free square inch

I dust the crumbs off my feet onto my leg

I'm never gonna sweep

I'm surrounded by boxes filling me with dread

I go out and thrift up things that I don't need!

Oh, I'm presented with so many options

To cure this house that leaves me haunted

My family worries for themselves and me

I keep on buying things I think I need!

I call myself a pack rat

But they know I'm just lying when I say that

"The house isn't really so bad!"

I say as I dodge and weave side to side

I refuse to better myself to the life I once had

There's mice and roaches all inside

It's a miracle with traps they haven't died

Don't you see it's not a problem and I'm fine?

We don't have an infestation

I fear for government investigation

Don't take my children away

They're the ones keeping me from endless decay!

I call myself codependent

Even though I'm a narcissist

I live on emotional defensive

Why can't I have the life I wish?

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Written through someone else's perspective. This is for awareness purposes. This is how hoarders live.

[rainbowrosegames]

PLAYER 4 FIGHT FOR YOUR KEEP

An original poem by RainbowRoseGames

Ive stepped away in body but not in mind

My spirit has been left behind

I'm a ghost stuck in a box

While in the real world my body walks

In the game my soul is tethered

Why can't my connection be severed?

Those around me say to take a break

I can't explain it well

I just can't get it out of my brain!

This game is dragging me to Hell!

My stomach is in knots

I don't eat or sleep like a robot!

I play and play until my mind's window crashes

Oh why am I such trash at this?!

I've not earned my keep

I'll fight my body's needs

I've only been playing again for a few weeks

I haven't earned it yet

I haven't earned my keep

I haven't accomplished anything, I'm stressed

I've calculated every possible solution!

To hold on like a corpse is my resolution!

I'll play until I'm a bloodless husk

I've played from dawn to the dusk!

I'm fighting as hard as I can

Oh I can no longer give a damn

Every second hurts me

I won't give it up

I still must defend my clan from enemies!

I must keep up the hunt

I must earn my keep

I must follow the enemies' position til I can't see!

I haven't earned what I've long ago earned yet

Why can't I get it?

No matter how much I scratch and fight

It shall never be mine...

I'll stay loyal until the day I die

Even if what I've worked so hard for

Shall never be mine

I defend our territory and doors

Even if I get nothing in return from them or God!

My spirit is chained like a loyal guard dog

I'm shaking every second

The game inside my mind it beckons

I defend until I die

Even though what I've earned shall never be mine!

.

.

.

This is unhealthy behavior, this is my experience with hyperfixation on a game called Dino Storm. It's like telling someone "dont think about pasta!" theyre gonna think about pasta regardless and how nice it'd be to have some. bonus points that I shouldn't have pasta for my health in this analogy.

Once again this is unhealthy behavior but it's not like you can stop a train wreck in progress. Not when the conductor wants to see something through for once in their life.

[rainbowrosegames]

Maybe the Real Crows Were the Friends We Helped All Along My Life

An original poem by RainbowRoseGames

I have no clue why

No, I don't want to die

But I want to cease my existence

I'm tired of being persistent

All of this will never be worthwhile

I'm tired of killing myself with a smile

I don't know what I'm doing

But I think I'm ruining my life over and over

I'll never be the one they're acknowledging

I'll never get as strong or skilled as they are

Oh, it's just disgustingly unfair

I can't breathe, I'm gasping for air

They're able to easily and clearly breathe

While I'm suffocating and vomiting with a heave

When can I reap the crops I've sown?

Years of planting but each year I see the crows

All of my crops desecrated

Over and over and over

"What was the point of all the time I've waited?"

You'd think I broke a mirror or burned a clover

"Surely this year is your year, maybe today?"

All of my friends with bountiful harvests say

I don't want to do anything anymore

I just want to be well from the core

Existing is too stressful

Give me a break from it all!

I'm so sick of it

Every year I see their harvests I feel cold inside

God, one potato, that's all I wish!

Can't I die without having to die?

I don't want to do this anymore

Like my crops I've rotten to my core

I can't take this any longer

When will my pumpkin be the winner?

I don't mean to be jealous or selfish

I just want to not starve and grow one dish

I love tilling the lands and working hard

But I want to see some results

I don't know if my efforts were ever there!

I feel like I'm crazy with each person I consult

They say nobody deserves a harvest like I do

But they won't share any of their food

They say the government subsidies don't allow it

When will you stop spewing bullshit?

I deeply love my fellow farmers in my area

BUT WON'T YOU EVER HELP ME OR SHARE?

I'm tired of tilling my fields and theirs

I'm tired of feeding their cattle

Just for them to have "nothing to spare"

I'll still help them for free but I wish for just one vegetable

I guess my loyalty isn't worth a single pea

.

.

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man... i need a good nap for a few months. im tired of every ounce of progress being wiped away before it can yield a single damn thing. who knew a shitty mmorpg had politics to it... ugh. why won't life cease to exist and let me float along the abyss?

[rainbowrosegames]

Through the Broken Glass

A poem by: RainbowRoseGames

You're looking through the glass

Hammer in your hand

You know it cannot last

Yet you stay in fantasy land

It's greener on the other side

Than here so rotten from the inside

You try to hypnotize yourself

You ignore your reflection's help

The illusion is shattered

Broken glass is on the ground scattered

You run from the door

Desperate to stay in your gilded cage

There is no gold on it anymore

It was scavenged and scraped

"What are you doing to yourself?"

Your reflection is still trying to help

"We feel the need to stay addicted"

"All while our thoughts contradict it"

You see her image distort

Your reflection can't hold this form

She looks on, writhing with pain

"Only you can save yourself!"

She starts to wither right away

"There is only so much I can do to help!"

What are you waiting for?

Go on, get out of the door!

Don't let your sacrifice be in vain

You are mentally awake

You can see behind you

The horrid place you brought yourself to

It's all self-inflicted

Tripping on the glass you were bound to break

You realize all the things you did

You were too scared and rotted away!

Oh, what's wrong with you?

"Truly, tell me what's wrong with me!"

I want to see, believe and breathe

I'll do whatever I have to do

To maintain the greener side

Rather than living in false paradise!

.

this sounds edgier than it really is im not gonna lie to you

basically

stop falling for distractions and start living, man

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I've always loved the imagery that comes from themes like mirrors, angel/demon splits, and generally looking at two sides at once. It's part of why/how I made @decaying-royalty !! (it doesn't link the side blog for some reason)

[rainbowrosegames]

High Sugar Flying Wishes

By: RainbowRoseGames

Life may be really convoluted

But laying here in my bed

There is truly only one thing I want

I wanna eat so nonchalant

Unbothered by the label

I don't want to cry at the table

Oh, I don't want immense riches

I just want to go straight to bed

And forget what the hell a needle is

Ah, the sugar is getting to my head!

When waiters list their options of sugary drinks

I want to say that's what my drink order is

Get this CGM shackle off my body

That 185 reading is not truly me

All I want is to be normal

And not worry about numbers or levels

Ah, no matter how much I pray

All I get is silence

From my God every day!

Oh, lying in bed won't deliver this

Oh, my pancreas kills me

I just want to be free like the wind on the sea

Ah, when the hell will I get some rest?

The receiver keeps on beeping

Oh, every time I am sleeping!

I'm so tired of the poisonous valley Lilly

Ah, my liver must be going next, really!

Ah, I must keep it calm and Keto

Shooting stars and NovoNordisks

The Endo wants me at One Zero Zero!

I should be fine accepting this unfulfilled wish

Oh, God tell me plain and truthfully

Is Diabetes a Devil from which you can't save me?

Or is it just America and greedy companies?

Oh, I despise my circumstances

Of how I ended up this way

In life I got no second chances

Ah, it feels exactly like what they say

"Oh, it's all your fault"

"That the rising sugar won't halt!"

"Ah, I told you to be better"

"Shoulda followed me to the letter!"

"Oh, these are your consequences"

"For eating the way that you did!"

Passing the blame

Never bettering the system

Never feeling any shame

Of what you did to me and them

Education is a lower priority

Now we see in full Dexcom Clarity

Diabetes gets stigmatized

Until the sugar darn near takes their lives

I'll tell you how it feels

It's so dumb and the shock is just surreal

"This is how I've gotta live the rest of my life?"

"Yeah, take this thousand dollar insulin"

Man, this crap just isn't right!

Have I got no right to healthy livin'?!

shoutout to Tumblr and it's crappy formatting

also shoutout to AMERICAAA RAAAHHH and it's crappy handling of healthcare because it makes like billions of dollars or trillions idr

[rainbowrosegames]

The Minky and Satin Bird

An original poem by RainbowRoseGames

Every now and then, I visit the place

Where I used to live before

I look into their dirty mirrors to see my face

And I don't see as much despair anymore

As a free bird I can't help but feel

Like they should learn too how to be real

That bird of minky and satin ripped up at her seams

Abandoned with many sorrows and needs

Ignored by the one whom she needs the most

All while I must leave and not get too close

As a bird of the sky

I can only sing my freedom's song

As I fly high above her eyes

I know she won't listen along

She's stuck in her cage

All she feels is hollowness and rage

"Why the hell am I locked up here rotting?!"

Those words she's desperately screaming

She curses those around her who are real

She doesn't know how to breathe or feel

She's stuck in her bird brain

Convincing herself that she's helpless

Rapidly she goes further insane

She looks in the mirror thinking she's featherless

A monstrous bird locked up in her cage

Tries to bring me back to that place

Reaching out with frayed satin talons

Crocodile and human tears flowing by the gallons

What she feels is an echoed reality

She thinks she's under five times gravity

If only she would spread her wings

She could leave this awful place

Touch her feathers and focus on the feeling

It's just a two foot leap of faith!

The selfish falconer who stands behind it all

Never once had answered the birds' calls!

She, the last one remaining

Shut herself in saying she's never escaping

Like a Peregrine

She dives right in

To her pit of despair

I'll be hanging in my new tree

Waiting for her to fly back to clean air

Only she can ditch fabric for feathers

Only she can help herself to become free

Only she can make herself better!

.

.

I'm sure we all know someone like this. Godspeed to those who know satin birds and those who do not realize they are satin birds

[rainbowrosegames]

"A Promising Defeatist"

An original poem by RainbowRoseGames

An ethereal light inside my soul

Glows out of my core out of control

"I am too good for that, it seems"

If I really am in the condition I wish to be

My thoughts cannot be accurately captured

In the beauty I could be I lay enraptured

I think of all the good

I could do if I was in the right conditions

"If it wasn't hopeless, I would!"

My mentality beats me into submission

Beating an ethereal angel

That is how life is in my minds angle

Bruised on the ground

Ethereal light fading out

I could perhaps pick myself up

But I've convinced myself I'm not enough

"I don't want to do this"

I say to a task task that's necessary to rest

"I want to stay within heavenly bliss"

Too good or afraid of tomorrow's trials and tests

An angel with glimmering potential

Hindered from skin to what's mental

"I can be the next giant star in the night!"

A confidence that fights

With the fear of imperfection

A negatively biased "prediction"

Only time will tell

If it's rumor or prediction

That this promising angel

Will not be enough

[rainbowrosegames]

Wake Up and Do Something About It

A poem about doomscrolling by Rainbowrosegames

Snapping out of my trance

Just when did the dark come out to dance?

This gaping hole in my heart

I need to make art

Or else I will break apart inside

I can't move and I don't know why

Staring at the screen

It's all things that make me feel empty

Tell me why it's so addicting

Properly is not how I'm thinking

Someone get me out!

The silence is just way too loud!

I can hear all of my sins crawling

Chores aren't done and I am dying

It is oh so late

All I can feel is my self-hate

My own mind is keeping me from crying

Why can't I get out?

I keep on hiding

There's got to be another route

I must get moving

My rewards are waiting

Ignore those evil sigils

Smash it to rubble

I can't waver

Even though everything hurts

This dumb device does not reward me

Get to the task at hand!

Enrichment is what I need

Stop reading romance!

Stimulation is not in those short doses

My attention span is dropping several notches

This is a sweet poison in my drink

It makes it hurt to think

Why on earth do we still do this?

This device does not grant any wish!

.

Trying to be better about doomscrolling ^^ doing something productive makes you feel more whole.

Personally, I get stuck (on YouTube shorts lmho) and procrastinate playing the music to do the task to, a solution for this would likely be using a phone assistant and setting a routine (I use a Google phone so I can make a custom prompt and make it play a playlist, dunno about other phones)

Work on ways to get unstuck for yourself ^^ good luck and go get something done <3

[rainbowrosegames]

A Lack of Perfection Sends You Into the Abyss

A poem by Rainbowrosegames

The halo of an angel is a tight choker on their necks

The wings of an angel are as heavy as planets

Perfection and kindness take their toll

Until they snap and their heads all roll

Down into the depths

They have agonizing fiery breaths

Staring at the semblance of what they once were

Any resemblance was murdered

All they can see in their mirrors

Are evil faces so disfigured

Their reality crumbles

As the heavenly voices thunder

"You have lost your way!"

"For this evil you shall pay!"

They had made only one err

They're now realizing their friends do not care

Perhaps one day

They can get out of their shame

And return to the heavens above

To those who they love

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A poem about losing your own kindness

It sure is hard to stay pure forever, right?

[rainbowrosegames]

A Dog Without a Raft

(Poem about hoarder houses, by RainbowRoseGames)

Amid this journey on the sea

We'd find others who have boats

But for whatever reason they can never help us in our need

They'd give us advice and sometimes gloat

"You shouldn't try to boil the sea, it takes too long"

What's the point of it?

I don't want to boil the sea

All I want is to not have a fit

This damned mess is all that I see

How does one fend for themself

If they're never taught

How to even organize a shelf?

Now what kind of home is this?

Here on a trash island of the leaders' making

They want me to clean and simply not have a fit

You'd get fed up, too

If lying around in trash wasn't all that you could do

I'm supposed to love you

And I really do

But sometimes I hate you

For keeping me stranded on this island and not helping me all the while

I'm just a child

What do you want me to do?

I'm not going to fix everything for you

Maybe I'm being presumptuous

But what you do doesn't help fix the root of the problems

Even if you bake something scrumptious

I don't want to boil the sea

I just want someone or something to help me

What is the point of boiling the sea

If nobody helps me?

I didn't know even outsiders are worthless

But alas here we are

With no hope left in my heart

Why can't they boil the sea?

Why can't they even boil a bathtub?

I should consider this child labor

It feels like every responsibility is on me

And on my shoulders

Why do I have to act first?

I can't lift these boulders

Why can't the sea boil away?

This makeshift prison I'm living in feels like an ocean

I'm like some dog someone threw inside

I won't stay afloat over time as the time flies

Just want to escape

To never look back

And be self-sufficient

The sea is hot and it burns me and any residual hope of mine

All that I get are fake signs of a boil

Until the sea quickly cools down again

Will the sea boil this time?

Will their actions get us to shore?

Or will their paddling

Bring us somewhere worse?

Stop dawdling

Bring me to a real home

And not a trash island on the sea

I've been doing poetry lately and it helps me get through some stuff (mainly by trying to find out how to describe problems) and I figured I'd do one on hoarding and spread awareness. Often times people see videos of people cleaning hoarder houses that have all sorts of trash and pests and it's always some old lady who owns it. Hoarders don't need to be old or feeble, their houses don't need to be at such extreme conditions to be bad, or to affect household mental stability, and more terrifying of all, they can have children living in the houses with them. Why don't they just, y'know, get a cleaning crew? Or why didn't DSS or CPS find out? Usually they're good at hiding it, and are scared to get help because they're afraid authorities will take everything away from them, or some can be afraid to let go of things. It can depend greatly. And if they have children, the authorities will take everything away that they love, aka the children. This, and many other reasons, are why you don't just call authorities on someone. Please if you know someone with a hoarder type situation, just be there to support them, help them decide what to keep or get rid of, and DON'T just call authorities or cleaning crews without their explicit consent and/or knowledge.

[rainbowrosegames]

A Surname of Shame

A poem by RainbowRoseGames

Some days I look at my name

I'd go and think

"I don't want to keep my father's surname"

Simply forgetting

Like how I forgot the humanity

That was once in their faces

An emperor doesn't get rid of his surname

He makes it so they don't see it the same

Even when your family

Loses all familiarity

You can change your own empire

Burn with fame and fire

They only love an artist's surname

For what they themselves accomplished

They point at their family and shame

For giving the artist a death wish

So when you see your name on paper

Build your empire over it's history

tumblr refuses to space my stuff CORRECTLY so thanks tumblr for that

[rainbowrosegames]

I didn't care, I made the contract anyways, but I wasn't expecting it to be my own daughters paying for my immortality. Luckily, I had the best necromancers at my beck and call, and made immortality contracts on their behalf, killing probably some random peasants. Ever since then, my favorite daughter, Lian, was clinging to me more so that she wouldn't fall into any pits of despair. However, something was off with the normally more obedient one, yet still stupidly imperfect, Ellen. Sure, she still did a lot of paperwork for me and even killed some rebels for me like normal, but it wasn't just her half skeletal face that was making her seem more... Hurt, emotionless. There must have been something deeper, more sinister going on, I'm sure of it! That child has always been like a demon, ungrateful for all I do for her! Surely, she must be so ungrateful for me making her immortal!

“I will grant you a wish. BUT… your gain will be someone else’s loss. If you want riches, someone will be stripped of theirs. If you want health, someone will fall ill. If you want love, someone will get their heart broken. And whatever you choose, that someone will know your name.”

[rainbowrosegames]

The Sun's Relaxing Energy Unshared with Me

An original poem by RainbowRoseGames

Oh, I gaze upon the sun in a room

And I wonder one thing

"How do people relax doing what they need to?"

I've never once felt a truly relaxing feeling

I'm just a normal girl but I feel so unmoved

I'm a girl with my normalcy so far removed

That I can't figure out the basics to life

"God, oh God why?"

Every time I pray I feel further

"I'm sure I'll be stuck broken forever"

Oh, I wish I could feel the sun how I wish to

I don't understand how to relax even a little

I feel stifled in this sunless tomb

"God, why did you design me to be so brittle?"

This desperation can't be put in normal words

I have to say it in every language in the world

It's not enough for me

Não é suficiente!

No es suficiente, este inútil vida

Não pode fazer nada

Every time I have to do something

I have to go insane for it to work

I have to be crazy, shaking and dying

Fight or flight, I have to feel worse

It's not fair they can understand the sunlight

All while I'm in the dark in an unending night

I can't focus unless I obsess

I wanna know why, someone throw me a guess!

It doesn't matter if I've spent months on vacation

I still can't feel true relaxation

Why must I feel awful to be able to do my part?

I don't know how to feel accomplishment

Not even when I do nothing or make art

Nothing is worth it in this mind I live life stuck in

They tell me to make small wins

But I haven't done a single thing

I don't know how to live life

I won't ever feel the sunlight in my eyes

I don't want to be just crazy

I want to learn to be me

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Normal? I hear she's a legend but never seen her in person. Id be a big fan if she was useful or real at all. Psssht as if Normal was real hahahahhahaahhahaha

[rainbowrosegames]

Cursed Cicada Whisperer

An original poem by RainbowRoseGames

Another day

I wake up to cicadas buzzing away

I try to stay in bed and sleep again

I don't want to face them

I get up and they're all swarming me

God, it's like as if they're flies and I reek

I have do the same task every day

Surrounded by cicadas in my mind

I drag myself out to do it again

Their eyes all meet mine

I wish I could make the noise stop!

It hurts so much I feel my brain may pop!

It's so unfair people can live in silence

While I'm surrounded by cicadas buzzing violent

Doing the same thing every day

I feel such utter shame

The cicadas follow me around

They keep my secret

Although they always make tons of sound

They always keep it

Society would put me to shame

If they knew what I needed to do everyday

I don't want to do this meaningless task anymore

I sit here curled up with cicadas on the floor

It's almost as if I can hear them talking

"Get it together girl, just do something!"

I barely see the way out of this tunnel

I've had a break for a while

But I don't trust myself

Maybe this hope was all just a lie

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This poem was inspired by a poem I wrote months and months ago that got deleted when I didn't back up my notes app to the cloud and had to get a new phone when mine had its battery swell. It was one of my favorites I've ever written, it was called "The Secret I and Cicadas Keep" and while this poem doesn't do the original poem justice when it comes to recreation, I wanted to at least try writing it again. Maybe when I have the right frame of mind I can get it right?