#I'm honestly disappointed

[nobleclover]

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https://x.com/Cudgmel/status/1749796495585333394?s=20

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[cuwalli]

how fucking dare Bethesda retcon Long Dick Johnson

[cypaira-the-skeleton]

I'll regret to inform you that the digital progress is honestly looking like shit and I don't think I can continue this drawing

Here's a sketch of what I was doing...

Honestly it looked way much better in my head but this...?

I have no idea if I wish to continue and it's frustrating me

Roger and Victor both belong to Horrorartist23

I am truly sorry at how they turned out

Currently planning something else for Christmas....

Hope it doesn't flop!

[watcher0033]

Sukuna said, “you are the antithesis to my control” and Yuuji replied, “and you’re my singular exception”

[glassrunner]

while isha was very much a cutesy character that helped soften some of the harsh moments of season 2, i ultimately feel that her existence was unnecessary.

the moment she appeared onscreen and immediately tagged along with jinx, i got the sense that she was incredibly hamfisted into the plot for the purpose of eventually making jinx Suffer More. the progression of their relationship (which i understand happened over a timeskip, but seriously that timeskip is doing too much heavy lifting -- a problem in its own) from "annoying kid following me around" to "new little sister" isn't elegantly alluded to, it's constantly made extremely obvious. and just to make sure we get the point, riot puts the final nail into that narrative coffin by having jinx literally say aloud that isha is a basically a younger version of powder and paints her hair blue. and then two episodes later, she's gone. just to give jinx yet another reason to go insane, which she doesn't really need.

isha has literally no dialogue. she serves to remind the audience of jinx's past, minus the trauma. it's easy and expected to project a young powder onto every scene she's in, which is just a waste of a new character. but even before the direct isha/powder comparison, jinx declares that she's discarded that persona, that "jinx" is no more. somehow, isha's mere presence even calms down jinx's psychosis to the point that she has a mild break for presumably the first time in a while only after isha is taken away, which just feels extremely lazy and gratuitous -- like the big bad Insanity is just a convenient lever to pull when the plot needs more tension and drama, rather than something that jinx has suffered from her whole life, and which silco's death amplified to the max.

all of the interesting plotlines i was looking forward to, like caitlyn's spiral into vengeance and fascism, jinx's rage and grief and psychosis causing chaos, vi and caitlyn either reconciling or being unable to in the end... it all just feels like it was brushed aside. jinx, after firing a rocket that killed half the piltover council, decides she just won't fight piltover anymore; caitlyn, who's grateful for ambessa's support and guidance in her crackdown on zaun, suddenly turns on her to aid vi; vi, forgetting her life-threatening feud with jinx, abruptly remembers they indeed are sisters who shared a life. so many conflicts conveniently resolved in seconds, when they should've taken at least a few minutes to untangle -- all because we needed so much time devoted to isha and jinx's relationship.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE the emotional moments that have been present so far. i think they do still hit, but their beauty is definitely muted because the pacing is a complete disaster. it was really difficult to enjoy isha having a bug battle with jinx when 1. i didn't even really recognize that jinx and 2. i was constantly thinking about what the other characters were doing. with how many plotlines need to be wrapped up before the finale (zaun's independence, the black rose vs. the medarda clan, mel's supposed magehood, etc.), i'm really not confident that we'll get a satisfying ending, and honestly i wouldn't have minded not having isha in the plot at all if it meant we could get a more coherent and less rushed overarching storyline.

[chaikajpeg]

visiting an art con and leaving without a single piece of merch gave me more motivation to draw than anything for the past few months. i need people to know i'm insane about mahoyome. so i'm gonna make some pins. or acrylic charms. haven't decided yet. sweet lord i can't believe i finally picked up a pen!!!!!

[glitter-stained]

Tim dkrake was abused and overlooked by everyone in the hero community and dickwad Grayson was cruel to take away the only thing Tim had in his life.

Damian wasn't even chosen by bruce to be robin and has no skill over than being a greedy bitch to Tim for no reason and it's fact that dick tried to send Tim to Arkham because he thought the Tim was reverting to joker junior which isn't fair because tin was just looking for approval after being abused by his parents.

Nest time educate your self before coming for the only good robin

You guys I'm curious, because I'm pretty convinced that this ask (which i've seen all over my jason fan-account beloved moots) comes from a tim drake anti dedicated to make everyone dislike tim more. This theory comes from the fact that a) i've rarely seen a sentence more reactance-inducing than "nest time educate your self" and b) there is a form of performance art in the way absolutely none of this is true, like this is all verifiably untrue information. True poetry, it's gotta be satire. Also, bonus for tin dkrake, that was gold.

So:

(don't worry about the gerrymandering we can do the maths)

[greenbirdtrash]

I hate making such posts, but i've been told someone's using one of my arts without credit for their telegram stickerpack and i know that the majority of pics has been found ON tumblr so maybe there's a chance this person will see that (or maybe some of the local tg users have seen this particular stickerpack "in the wild" or could recognize them somehow).

There's lots of artworks from so many fandom artists there, and i honestly doubt anyone has been asked for permission at all.

I tried some of the built-in APIs to reach out and ask them to take my artwork down from that sticker set (obviously as there wasn't any kind of consent from my side to put it in there in the first place), and as a result i've got their profile ID (which i do not have any direct knowledge to do anything with rn, what i know is that it should be tied to a username in a way), this post is simply a warning for the fellow ghartists...and that person - if they end up seeing that.

It's not nice to scrap others work like that, buddy. One of the reasons people put insanely big watermarks on their art

[see-arcane]

Oh bitter bitter irony

Bile below

I started out afraid that Eggers would over-Coppola his Nosferatu--he didn't! :D--only to run into a growing dual tide of fans who are either

A) actively trying to Coppola his Orlok and Ellen into lash-batting forbidden romance bodice ripper cliches ("He backhanded Knock for daring to suggest he steal Ellen! uwu He brought a plague and attacked her loved ones just to be with her! uwu She clearly wanted to be with Orlok all along, fuck Jonathan Thomas, the useless stuffy loser! uwu Orlok just doesn't want her to deny herself! uwu Every word he says should be 100% taken at face value, he would never use the Classic Abuser Playbook to victim-blame his target into compliance, just do murders and choke slam her for saying she doesn't like him, ignore the long-distance repeated psychic rape since she hit puberty, it's fine it's fine uwu")

or

B) going full pearl-clutch about the very concept of Orlok being an icky evil unpretty mustached corpse monster (with all the abuse and assaults being tacked on in the aftermath to Prove~ this is Not a Proper Ken Doll Dracula)

like

guys. we're sinking into the deep ends of two very different nuance-free pools here

Yes, there is a disturbing fucked up but Actually There connection between Ellen and Orlok. There is attraction, there is a core spiritual likeness that led Orlok to her as a girl. But that does not obliterate the fact that he is monstrous to her and to everyone she cares about. He is a rapist. He is a manipulator. He abuses her and the covenant connection--which he point blank tricked her into without any warnings to what she was agreeing to as a teenager--for years. And then, when she dares to fall in love with and wed someone else, he throws a murder-tantrum until she agrees by her own will* (*under duress) to be his. Not his equal in anything but suggestion, but his property. His owed Affliction. And it is meant to be horribly fucked up that Ellen has even a thread of positive feeling for him, regardless of what supposed matching darkness she has in her. Just like many victims in her position will feel for their own sexual and romantic abusers.

This is not Count Gary Oldmanacula and Winonmina Harkryder. This is not star-crossed tragique kissy kissy Francis fanfiction. It does not call for mental gymnastics to take the fangs and blood and violation out, to excuse the monstrosity Eggers harvested from the actual source story or--and I am putting my head through the wall about this--taking anything Count Orlok says at face value when his entire MO, from the first assault on Teen Ellen to the trick document he makes Thomas sign to sell her away to the full spread of mind game horseshit he says to Ellen's face or puts in her mouth to puppeteer a fight between the Hutters, IS TO MANIPULATE AND ABUSE EVERYONE AROUND HIM

Fuck, even Knock got ripped off via Orlok's bullshitting and he made a literal full Faustian willing contract with him

And on the flip side:

Stop stop stop stop STOP wringing your hands over the presence of gothic horror monstrosity being in the gothic horror monstrosity film.

Bela Lugosi and Gary Oldman? They looked impressive. They looked charming and elegant and polished and, obviously, iconic. The legion of pressed and bleached and chiseled Dracula Lites after them, less so. But they are pretty!

And none of them have looked like the Count who Bram Stoker made or what his inspirations would ever have recognized as a vampire or a boyar. Robert 'If I do not personally graft the actual time period of this movie into place with my own two hands I Will Die' Eggers actually did his research in putting his Orlok together and, being a Horror Film Writer and Director, actually remembered to put the horror into the famous vampire horror story.

Attraction, sensuality, romance, and assault all have their place in it too--it is Nosferatu: "Dracula, But the Focus is On a Dracula Trying to Make the World's Worst Nightmare Threesome Happen"

And, shock of shocks, in Murnau's film, as in Stoker's book, the main couple--Harkers, Hutters--have the loving couple intimately preyed on by the same monster. While Mina/Ellen ostensibly 'allow' themselves to be preyed on, in both scenes it's done out of a desire to protect Jonathan/Thomas from the Count.

Mina keeps silent and allows Dracula to feed on her and force-feed her his blood to kick off a magical enslavement-undeath, lest Dracula follow through on his threat to bash Jonathan's skull in

Ellen sends Thomas away and offers herself as bloodbag and bride to Orlok specifically to keep him from killing Thomas and finishing off all of Wisborg

Would these magically have become 'better' setups if only Count Dracula/Orlok were hunky clean-shaven bishounen sexyboi doms there to ~liberate xoxo~ the already-married already-fucking already-skirting the lines of propriety gender role-bending young woman?

Because if that's the case in your eyes, click here. Scroll on through almost 130 years' worth of film and TV and plays and books and a thousand other spinoffs where Dracula is perpetually sandblasted into your cape-swishing hickey-nibbling knockoffs of choice. All yours.

But for fuck's sake.

Let the gothic horror be gothic horror. Up to and including the monster being monstrous. Up to and including, yes, a deranged connection and magnetism between Pretty Girl and Actually Freaky-looking Undead Rat Man. Up to and including, yes, the Human Lover not being the starched and stuffy blandman there to be thrown in a ditch to let Girl and Sexy Monsterman who truly understands her~*~* get together, and instead be a genuine romantic partner who is as adamant in endangering himself to protect his beloved as she is for him.

tl;dr:

Stop trying to retroactively Coppola this movie and using 'haha but I'm a monsterfucker' to side step the fact that the villain here is a villain and is using the rule book of actual abusive relationships to gaslight his victim(s) in a very human, very gruesome way

Stop wailing that your personal diet vampire fetish is being sullied via the presence of a mustache, maggoty corpse pecs and the horror of the Count not being a GQ model

Just stop

[zahra-hydris]

I'm actually really sad about the lack of world state reactivity.

it was such a cornerstone of the series: feeling like characters and the world evolved as you, the player, interacted with it (lived in it! over 15 years!). and it's not even - as i've seen some, including key devs, suggest - a question of making every single choice matter. the "throwaway" lines, simple war table missions, and codex entries still mattered! they still contributed to that feeling of a world that evolved with you.

and what really worries me is what this means for the returning characters. how can you have varric without the potential loss of hawke? how can you have morrigan* without the potential for kieran? is your inquisitor going to be even semi-recognisable? how is the well drinker choice not relevant? and, again, these don't necessarily need to have huge impacts? they can just be one off lines or codex entries or something that shows that this is a world that you've been a part of, these are people that you know and love.

idk there's just such a huge middle ground between 'every single choice needs to dramatically impact the plot/characterisation and that's just not feasible' and 'absolutely no reactivity to anything beyond three things'. the devs keep acting like there's not, but it's just bullshit. they managed it to a decent degree in inquisition, after all.

it's not necessarily a dealbreaker but idk i'm just sad about it.

*honestly starting to lean towards that theory that it's not actually morrigan but flemythal in her body

[konigsblog]

idk if you know but your being mentioned by fulltacs on their post abt simonrillleyyysss(?) bullying :/

i just read the post, and i'm pretty sure @/fulltacs mentioned me because i was friends with jordi at the time. (@/simonrillleyyysss) :P

i'm assuming this is about the situation between jordi (@/simonrillleyyysss) and bo (@/ohbo-ohno)?

keep in mind, this happened on my birthday, which meant that i wasn't very active on tumblr throughout the day, since i was busy celebrating.

i had posts queued for my followers, which meant that i didn't bother checking my dashboard or any of my mutuals recent uploads. in fact, i had only really seen posts about the situation the next morning after checking a couple notifications and reading through a few posts that had popped up on my feed.

now, back in january when this all began, i hadn't seen any screenshots about the bullying inside of the discord server. i had seen a few posts and conversations between bo and jordi, but i didn't bother getting invested in it, as it didn't involve me. i assumed they'd figure it out themselves.

i saw the post from @/fulltacs which provided a couple screenshots of the discord server where jordi had been talking shit about other creators, which i hadn't seen up until now. it's super immature and childish to me, honestly. i didn't realise how many of my mutuals were involved in this either, and to say i'm disappointed in them is an understatement. 😶

if i was aware of this before, i wouldn't have stayed friends with any of them. it's childish and immature. i'm not going to stay friends with people like that, who harass creators and have an entire discord server dedicated to talking shit about others. i'm not interested in being dragged into a drama that doesn't involve me, just because i'm friends with someone (who is in the wrong), and especially after seeing the screenshots between jordi and her friends.

after seeing the screenshots of the bullying, i decided to block @/simonrillleyyysss, @/ghostsbimbo, and @/ghostly-whiskey. i'm not interested in being mutuals with a bunch of dickheads who talk shit about other writers. 😮‍💨

[blobee]

I coughed so much that my heart hurts now, jeez

Anyway, I can't upset you with my absence, so here's a little sketch (yesterday one)

[xproskeith]

Yeah. It's over. Here's hoping the damage is somehow contained for 4 years. Idk how that will happen but yeah.

[strangeandinteresting]

I believe due to the issues with leaking of the Wembley bootlegs, the uploader of the bochum frankenboot (Edited together clips of the german show with the one night in english gala dubbed over it) has privated their videos. If anyone has these downloaded it would be much appreciated. Not for myself, but for some people I know who'd really like to see them again.

[dumvixerum]

This fandom came to a point where I kinda start to hate connor bc of it. Y'all need to learn wtf balance and equality means, cause I get that you can love a character that much, it happened to me too tbh, but try to appreciate the other characters.

Markus and Kara both have a lot of good characters and y'all over here simping for the guy with the sad backstory of getting manipulated.

Idk why ur calling urself a "dbh fan". You're a Connor(s) fan, not anything else.

Okay this sounds really agressive damn, idk how to make this lighter, but really I'm just saying that this is getting boring. It's always the same shit tbh, and I remember a short period of my life where I got into dbh and watched memes compilation (do NOT judge me 😭) and I clearly remember saying to myself "why is it always about Connor"