#I'm having a very rough go of things rn. these last 2 weeks have just. absolutely nearly killed me.

[imwritesometimes]

I am good at stuff. I'm good at cooking. It may not be michelin star restaurant level food but it's good. I'm good at baking. I'm good at taking care of my family. I'm good at some computer stuff. I'm good at taking care of my cats. I'm good at making ppl laugh. I'm good at helping ppl. I've written stuff ppl have enjoyed.

[not-5-rats]

I love being goth in Scotland /sarc (these people are so mean, like bro let me be creative-)

Bug Question/Scenario times <33333

1) Modern! AU

Be honest, ever taken an 'Am I Gay?' quiz? (Also what's ur Bugs sexuality/gender identity? I got a stupid doodle idea (it'll make sense when I show y'all))

2) Uh oh, Bodie worked hard and cooked your Bug a meal without knowing they really dislike one of the ingredients! Does your Bug tell him or just suffer through it?

3) Are they good at keeping track of their possessions or do they often lose things?

4) Bloodmoon Swap! AU

How do they hunt/kill people? What's their strategy?

5) Scenario #1 (this shit is super long I'm sorry bros)

Bug had been looking for Chester round the house for like 15 minutes, yet they couldn't find him. That was until they saw him coming out of the room his younger sisters were staying in.

He was clearly exhausted, his pasture was slouched, his eyes half-closed...he looked as though he was about to fall asleep right there. They asked why he looked like shit, he chuckled

"Daisy's sick, she couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, just kept throwing up- been watching her since like 9 last night and only now has she gone for a nap"

He dragged himself through to the living room then threw himself onto the floor beside the couch. He sat on the floor, his back resting against the couch as he sighed out of relief, finally free for a couple of minutes. Bug went and sat on the opposite side of the couch.

"...do you think I'm an alright guardian?"

Bug looked at him, clearly a bit confused by his question. They asked him to elaborate

"Y'know to Daisy and Fran. Out of all my siblings I'm the one least...suited to taking care of kids. Felix is social, caring, always got the energy to play with them, Audrey is organised, knows how to manage kids, can afford to get them the toys and shit they need! Whilst I...I'm just a grump, a sad asshole, who barely ever has any energy"

He pressed his face into his hand, rubbing his forehead as he went on

"They deserve somebody who's gonna be more involved in their life...more than I can give them. But there's no other fucking choice. Mum and Dad ain't in the equation anymore, Felix doesn't have the space for them and Audrey is so busy...they have nowhere else to go...but I'm not fit to be a parent, I'm not fit to take care of them, they need so much more. I just want them to be happy, but I don't think they are happy"

He let his head fall back on the edge of the couch, he didn't look upset, he just seemed blank. Dead even. The only hint of emotion they could see on his face was a shimmer of anger in his eyes..and that anger was towards himself.

What does bug do?

6) Do they enjoy celebrating their birthday?

7) Scenario #2 (ik I'm talking alot rn! It's the holidays I have nothing else to do rn lol)

Most of the Bugs had went out to town in order to collect some new resources, but Chester has stayed back to take care of the baby bugs. Bug had overslept that morning so by the time they woke up the Bugs were already gone...so they bad to stay behind with Chez and the little ones.

Bug and Chez had been talking bout how everything had been going the past few weeks, how the recent town visits had gone, Chez made some sort of joke which resulted in Bug giving him a rough flick to the forehead, this made him chuckle.

Suddenly Chez had to quickly run off as one of the young ones had gotten themself stuck in the top branches of a tree

As soon as he was gone though Fran appeared in his place, an unusual smile creeping on her face as she started quickly signing to Bug

'you know he really cares about you, he isn't very good at showing it but he really cares about all of you'

Bug smiled and questioned Fran on how she was so sure that he cared, she giggled before responding

'cause if he didn't he would've shut down completely when you poked him, he doesn't like people being anywhere near him let alone touch him at all'

Fran kept smiling as she looked over at her older brother, struggling immensely to get the little kid out of the tree. (Like comically on his tippee toes, arms stretched right up as the kid clung to the branches.)

Bug thought about all the times Chez had hugged them, not even just them, all the Bugs! He was always offering a hug, patting them on the back, poking them, etc...and all of it was just a big show of how much he trusted/ cared abt them

*hands the mic to you* here ya go

☆---------------☆

Tags -

@rozeliyawashereyall @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii @insignificant-anarchy @stxph-artist @aspenm00n @keyaartz @fangsshadow @rustycopper4use @piffany666 @dreamyshape @idontevenknow7878 @lunaritychuwolf @littlesiren79 @castbracelet240 @strayharmony943 @proxdragon @tiefling-chaos @threeweekinsomnia @recated @wilderrorcard @diamondzoey @fennaboysenberry @lunnats @lightdragon789 @pinkcocopuff-aqualoid @itsargyle @astralbulldragon13 @ccstiles @puffin-smoke @fruity0salad @takashishihoin @reefhastoomanyaccs

[scholarmoons-studyblr]

07.10.2024 - monday

things i did today:

well. last post i said i would do coding. it has been one month and one day. i have not yet started (it's 8:16pm rn but i do have plans to start today) i am actually very angry coding is due on my birthday

english notes !! shakespearean tragedies yessir.

i also completed like 5 pages of my english booklet while watching heartstopper which is cool because i love english

actually practiced my piano pieces + my sister asked me to play peppa pig's theme song and i did manage to figure it out by myself in the span of like 5 minutes

did the rough draft of my science report

🥥☁️🌙🎧 ‧˚₊• ┈ ┈ ┈ ┈ ୨୧ ┈ ┈ ┈ ┈ •‧₊˚⊹ 🎧🌙☁️🥥

things i will do tomorrow:

MY CODING !!! I WILL GRIND

draw the graph for my science report !!

as well as finish the bibliography + go over it so i can print and submit it since it's due end of the week (thursday)

i do want to go over my science topic for this term so there's that

my english booklet !! i am halfway there but there is a lot to write

french homework 😋

🥥☁️🌙🎧 ‧˚₊• ┈ ┈ ┈ ┈ ୨୧ ┈ ┈ ┈ ┈ •‧₊˚⊹ 🎧🌙☁️🥥

things i did for me today:

ummm i listened to music in class !! because i had no friends they're all away :( i honestly have not done much but i did come home and just doom scroll for an hour. had cramps for the whole day but its ok i pushed through !! what can i say i did read some of my book that i'm reading on my phone (page 756/958) so i'm hoping to finish it tonight. i'm going to watch 2 youtube videos that i have pinned on my browser before i go to bed

hello hello !! i'm back at school after holidays so i'll try start posting more consistently because it's october and um. yeah. its october happy autumn/fall for everyone in the northern hemisphere i wish i was there rn i'm so over summer uniform where have my trackies gone??? sorry if this is also a long post i'm yapping a bit today oh today in english this guy was like yo we don't have paper to write notes. but. *then proceeds to increase in volume* miss, sarah here has very kindly volunteered to give us paper because she's not stingy! and i was like oh... then i looked in my notebook and only had 1 blank page which i did give to them, however there were 4 people on the table. sharing 1 piece of paper. lesson learned i came home and switched notebooks. anyway thank u for listening to my mini rant !!

okay one more thing before i post this but SEASON 2 OF ARCANE COMES OUT NOV 9 I'M SO HYPED

sweet dreams xoxo- sarah

[ssouledout]

oct 24 2023

i think this thought pretty frequently:

"i wonder how life will be a year from now"

..knowing that life usually changes drastically within a year. at least it's been this way for the past 5 years. i feel like i've lived so many lives and i'm only 27 lol. about to be 28 soon though.. what is life!!!

i'm definitely in a brand new season. last year, i shifted internally and spiritually. it was an intense, expedited healing session that needed to happen (thank you Jesus). i've always lived my life with Jesus on the sidelines lowkey, but i'm fr a woman of God now. i made God my very first priority and she's different.. and it's noticeable lol. an external thing now. i'm so proud of myself because i've come a LONG WAYYYYY. monte don't even know man.. this version of me needed to arrive before meeting him though. oh yeah, i met my husband. we're not married yet, but i'm pretty sure this is the man God's been preparing me for and vise versa. (and if he's not the one, Lord take him away asap bc i can't go through that again pls). not sure if i've mentioned him in a previous post (it's been so long). the story of how we met is pretty amazing, a story only God can put together honestly. it's been almost 7 months, but it feels like 2-3 years. in the best way. we're in a bit of a rough reason right now but I'm trusting God and his plans.. some things weren't what i expected, it's been a test of my faith honestly. but monte is amazing. he's an answered prayer. on so many levels. he's the glue to my family and i prophesied that within a couple weeks of dating. we grow closer each day and i'm just really excited to do life with him.

i'm in therapy rn and it's going great. i felt ready to look inwards to improve the relationship i have with my parents. tomorrow will be my 4th session. it's been progressive so far. learning a lot about myself.. and my dad.

been doing youtube for over a year now and we're still growing. currently at 776 subscribers. how? idek bruh. but i'm going to keep going, even though idk what i'm doing more than half the time. i will say: my confidence has gone up a ton though. my fcks to give about what people think don't really exist anymore. that's HUGE. if that was the purpose of it all, praise God fr. elaine's friend manages content creators and she's setting up a content plan for me.. so we'll see how that goes. i started doing lashes. but kinda stopped. we'll see on that too. i'm working part time as an exam proctor (proctor.. ba dum tss). it's funny because i applied before maxim, but didn't get my first shift until i quit care partners. God's timing lol. i'm actually at work right now.

and here i am wondering how life will be like next year.. i feel like God's going to blow my mind. as he always does.. (he blew my brains out with monte lol). i know our circumstances are going to change soon though. all glory to God. God's behind the wheel and i'm cruisingggg wheeeeeeeeee

[crumble-system]

☣️ Nyx -im adding the previous tags but now we're home we can like do another reply that has more like brains

This was really sweet whoever sent this, especially for like things that have been going on that like nobody else knows but like this system.

note we're gonna ramble a shit ton so under the cut <3

🧯Conner - We always love asks like these, especially when we don't expect them. But this did cheer us up a good bit.

Especially because we've been bed rotting just a bit because the consequences of not having meds nor therapy rn while having gone through THE horrors of this and last year of having alot of our Hugest trauma of our adolescence just becoming raw again. [this is also why mockingjay, philly & blaze 2 EXIST]

which has led us to just remember alot of the struggles that led us here.

also the many fucking jumpscares (though like all of them went positively and the people who did accidentally jumpscare us have been the best of sports & have VASTLY outweighed the negative of the original terror from being spooked)

🎱Ribs - YEAH I've definely like been told actively by alot of people of how much we like bring light & warmth to our friends and acquaintances. which has helped alot at Not being as like unstable as we would've been elsewise with all the curveballs and twists.

ALSO getting back in contact with people we were worried abt contacting & missed, helped a fuck ton because they'll all been fuckin supportive as hell.

plus telling the one (aka the dude who came into our notes like "idk if u hate me but i miss you and worried abt you" while I WAS literally venting abt missing them & being worried abt them was funny ngl) that like, WOOPS I'm here bcs of you & them being supportive as they can but still learning as a singlet helped <33.

UHHH also like getting SUPER GENUINE love from the people who we were missing and got into contact into with helped A TON. also telling them all parts of the Why Man saga helped & getting like support for what the fuck that lil shit put us thru.

adding that said person whose why I fromed also like helped during what blaze is GONNA probs talk abt

🔥Blaze - ILY BABE (ribs)

OKAY so the person who caused ribs to form, unknowningly has kind of helped me a ton to be able to help the person who got ME to form.

Which like it felt so fucking GOOD being able to do what I did recently to help said person whose why I'm here. I FUCKING improved. I GREW and I CHANGED for THE BETTER.

it's like been so funny seeing like within like a year go from one of the most DISTRUSTED to be in front due to being much more of a Perseuctor/Perpetrator combo AND JUST. Very much ACTING out because nobody in this fuckin system was listening BCS our communication was SHIT.

TO being like one of the most trusted & seen as one of the better protectors & alters to deal with stressful convos and shit to de-escalate things when the going gets ROUGH.

THE PERSON who caused me to form I don't think they REALIZE fully yet that when I said "Yeah, I was actually there for that." I LITERALLY MEANT. I FORMED THERE. AND WE WERE THERE. AND THATS WHY. THAT MEME WAS SO TERRIFYING.

BUT YKNOW HOW IT GOES, I WAS KING. DID GET JUMPSCARED BY THE DUDE CONNER ALMOST WENT TO WHEN RIBS FORMED & WHEN I FORMED NOT TOO LONG AFTER NOT TOO LONG AFTER.

also got jumpscared by THE DUDE who let us into the server where I formed, like a week later... IT WAS just to say "there's a scammer in general" but now i get cursed to see that he's fucking playing roblox now. BCS discord thinks its funny.

so like I have been RIDING the high of helping the person who caused me to form and MAKING SAID PERSON LAUGH. BCS said PERSON deserves to HAVE A GOOD DAY.

☢️ Prodigy/(Doxie) - I AM only in front for a moment to reply to this as for understandable reasons the others dont want me in front rn, and i dont wanna be either

THO I love my friends who knew me when I was still bumbling around as a newbie & the ppl ive met after coming back in EARLY 2024.

we need therapy & meds, and i need to work on myself way more b4 I can be in front for extended periods of time and not at all rn.

🦀Pablo - IM also only in front to write my piece & then peace out because ya im working on my issues too.

the message was kind and love it! ty, me & prod are going back to work on ourselves.

(we are also still working on an apology, just NOT a good time for us to attempt that)

🍋 Gayle - Yeah we've kept moving forward despite everything that's happened in the past, or how much THIS year keeps testing our strength.

like oh my god, ribs, conner and blaze u mfers are so fucking strong. i COULD not do the shit those three have been doing.

i just kind of applaud those three for being brave because they want to protect their found family of friends. AND also being strong enough to talk thru issues and shit with others.

also thank them for helping me with all the FONT bullshit <3

🎃Skull - also thanking them for help w the FONT bullshit, and also ty blaze for not teasing me abt my source once u realized that I had a legit issue with it. and also making that whole party for everyone who looks like one of our abusers, that cheered me up a ton.

🍬Candy - yeah yeah thank you blaze for helping skull be more confident, and also for sitting with me when my other thing I am the holder of gets bad when skull isn't able to. & also like helping for when you blaze, ribs or conner notice when I'm starting that ..down that road..

also ty for the multiple white & blue/blue&white hater party in headspace ribs and blaze. that shit has been fun to work through all that shit.

🌟Philly - YEAH they (as in more the others, the G6 [2015-2019] gang specifically aka Conner, Ribs, Gayle, Prod, Blaze and Nyx) really were really touched by this.

I know they've been going thru a helluva time, it's kind of why I exist. beacuse of the whole, the person who caused ribs to form & the person who caused blaze to form literally jumpscared those guys by posting ACCIDENTAL jumpscares that were close enough TO said EVENTS that they both got worried.

which led to blaze 2 and me splitting off and yknow being here to curse y'all.

UHHH IDK what I have to say abt this because like.. I am sort of apathetic, and just NOT emotional. think like coping shit + like latching onto my source being specifically Philly in (CRAB MAN SERVER). which kind of got their emotions removed.

🧲Blaze 2 - <333 iDK WHAT 2 SAY MYSELF.

the others DID really well. BUT we have been celebrating our acomplishments, THO more like privately. because god i cannot tell any of yall how fucking much the others and generally the system want to be LOUD and PROUD for how far they've come

Along with HOW much they just wanna say HOW MUCH they love the ppl they consider friends OUTLOUD AND PUBLIC, THEYRE just very much dealing with RSD and BPD BEING BITCHES.

SO they've been subdueing themselves even more, even if they wanna do it. ALSO bcs they wanna respect ppls boundaries, it's why they're NOT saying CERTAIN NAMES. OF PPL THEY LOVE.

ribs though blaze classic is done making fun of your whole CLOWN ACT abt seeming like you hated ppl but in reality you genuinely missed them though weren't letting yourself say that bcs you did not want to seem weak and were dealing with paranoid of others trying to hurt them just to get to us.

im not, im saying it outloud MF. you don't get to just tell sweetfinlet abt it. GET EXPOSED FOR ALSO BEING A LOVER.

🐦Mockingjay - THEY'VE BEEN CELEBRATING A TON OF THEIR VICTORIES.

👑Waldemar- HELL YEAH handshake, im joining you im exposing blaze proper.

clarity abt the vents is that alot of reprocessing of old events had to happen because the censored person triggered alot of alters heavily enough that they regressed & Lost access to the Full truth of the past

Very much they had to process things in a way very similar the Psychonauts 2 Level, "Psi King's Sensorium"

With the whole Confirmation Bias, Law of association, Confabulations, and just the memories were twisted.

This person also Accidentally began to use alot of tactics that older abusers & toxic ex-friends would use on us in the past, as they were Way more dependent on us than we were on them and in a misguided effort for connection they attempted to make us more dependent on them.

(or at least we hope it was accidental, that's what we want to believe. despite it all.)

Also the censored name is not crab man bluzombie nor why man willie. It's censored as despite it all we don't want ppl to find nor attack that ex-friend, they're Not worth the effort.

THERE'S A BUNCH OF WIP POETRY THEY'VE BEEN DOING SINCE 2023 and HAVE working ON pUTING IN A VIDEO. TO SHOW THEY LOVE THEIR FRIENDS

ITS SAPPY AS SHIT. IDC IF THEY CALL ME HOMOPHONIC.

🎆Flare - (I WAS BLAZE 2 BEFORE THE OTHER ONE, BUT NO BLAZE LETS HIM BE BLAZE 2 BUT I HAVE TO BE FLARE IM STILL PISSED)

I'm stealing this from MJ but...

I LOVE THEM, BUT THEY'RE A MESS. THIS SYSTEM IS KIND OF MY FOUND FAMILY OF IDIOTS.

THEY'rE CRYING OVER ONE OF THE POETRY THEY ALL WROTE FOR THAT. THIS IS A NEWER ONE.

"As I always wanted as a kid, to hang with people ; friends to just

Talk together for hours, or just exist silent as we both do our own things

Go on adventures with

Dispell eachothers worries with

Be not just seen, but also accepted whole heartedly

...

And I've found those people

Even for some it took some time to realize they were still there"

🌤️Mr A - Everything eventually will be okay, and that's what keeps us going. Also spite. Alot of spite.

Love keeps us going more though, we are filled with love always.

🧃Sour - I AM still GETTING uzed 2 being here again, ESP with the huge party we GOT now. BUt yea this is sweeettt. felt like i should say somethin

🍐Wasabi - YEAH this is NICE. I like the ENERGY we've been getting, this is why I keep refusing to leave front BUT im too shy to talk to the nice ppl we've been around. </3. im still halted by these haunting memories but im getting stronger, I will be as annoying if not MORE annoying than the others. u hear me

🍾Sparkling - I don't front as much these days as I'm helping with headspace matters but <3 this was nice.

🌝Allie - I just wanted to :3333, i have nothing to actually add. I'm just a special uwu. i need attention.

🕹️First- idk im dancing. ik we need to do owed art but that's a tomorrow thing, we're still having a moment. they'll understand.

🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼

OUR REACTIONS TO THIS,

Never know how 2 react when ppl actually say love affirmations to us wholeheartedly but ty ty

ESP LIKE when we're in these depressive isolation episodes that we get in

Though we're getting better at dealing with em

[redrobin-detective]

What do you think about nurse to patient ratios? I live in CA where nursing ratios are mandated by law and my sister, a nurse, says she can't imagine having to work somewhere without ratios.

Sorry you probably don't want this but I was stimming on this question all night bc I wanted to answer right away but restrained myself. You have been warned. Putting under a readmore because it got loooong also the general shittiness of my job rn.

NURSE TO PATIENT RATIOS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING AND CALIFORNIA IS THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN. The important thing to keep in mind with N:P ratios is not only number of patients a nurse has at one time but also the acuity (sickness level) of a patient.

So, background. I am a stepdown medical ICU nurse in which we take medical patients who need higher monitoring than a standard floor bed but aren't sick enough for an ICU. In Covid America the new norm is the ICU is too full so they send us patients that really shouldn't be on our unit. Our hospital is mandated with N:P ratios. ICUs are 1-2 patients per nurse, floor beds can have up to 5 patients (which I think is insane even if they're super easy). My units ratio is 2-3 max. In the 2 years I worked on my unit pre covid, this worked out just fine. Sometimes you had bad days but overall I had time for lunch breaks, for chatting, for ensuring I'm doing proper patient care. The best way to describe how bad it's gotten is my day yesterday.

I walk on my 16 bed unit, 15 beds full, 1 open with a most likely ICU downgrade. We have 6 nurses for the daytime (fully staffed is 7). The night charge nurse (who serves as a unit resource/helper/organizer and also makes the assignment) is struggling on how to assign each nurse to a patient.

The one open bed ensures someone will get an admission but the unit wasn't Safe to admit a new sick patient. Out of 15 patients 8 (EIGHT) are trached, 3 of them are on the vent (4 is our max), 2 were known to be belligerent and exhausting to staff, 2 patients were decompensating and would probably need to go to the ICU at some point. 1 was a new admit overnight and thus a wild card, at least 4 were mildly confused and trying to fling out of bed/pulls at important medical devices without semi regular supervision. The night shift charge looked about ready to Die and was struggling to make a fair, balanced assignment.

As a charge nurse, I offered to help. We immediately petitioned our manager to close the open bed which was granted but only about an hour into day shift so night shift had no way of knowing if some poor sod would have to admit. I was the most experienced nurse on the floor that day (including day charge) save a travel nurse. Now about charge, the ideal is keep them out of the numbers (no patients) but with acuity rising and being short staffed they're usually required to take at least one (3 patients to charge is the nightmare scenario, I've done it and its rough). Day charge got one patient so, by the math one nurse would either have to admit or possibly get to stay in a blessed 2 patient assignment.

I, a bit selfishly I'm big enough to admit, asked for the potential admit assignment bc the other option was a patient I had an exceedingly bad interaction with last week and wasn't in the mood for. I didn't think our manager would close the bed bc, with numbers rising, higher management has been pushing back on our ability to close beds. But miraculously! The bed was closed, no new patients coming in.

My assignment was a fairly stable ICU downgrade overnight who was trached, vented, but alert, able to turn on her own and very nice. My other was a sad confused cancer patient was tied down every which way to prevent himself from getting out of bed or pulling at his tubes, he had IV medications every half hour quite literally and just overall a mess. I busted ass all day yesterday, literally running the whole day but you know what? I provided damn good care to both my patients. My assignment was busy but SAFE. I had time to focus on my poor cancer patient and!!! Meaningfully make some progress in his treatment course instead of just maintaining because I had the time and energy to do my fucking job. So what's the problem, Robin?

The problem was, to ensure I had a safe assignment almost no one else on the unit did. Every other nurse I ran into looked frazzled and stressed. The other assignment I was supposed to get was nightmarish, the travel nurse looked so wearied and broken by the end. (My only consolation is she makes like triple my salary). I felt SO guilty yesterday bc even though my assignment was hard and I didn't sit down and eat until 4:30pm, I still arguably had the easiest time. And that's not safe, not for our health, not for nurse retention, not for our patients.

The staffing coordinator laughed in my face a few weeks back when I mentioned we were temporarily staffing for 8 nurses back in December/Jan when covid numbers spiked again. "How can you possibly expect me to find you nurses for 8 when I can barely keep you staffed for 7?" I sniped back that they can't expect us to take care of certified ICU level patients without ICU level staffing. She didn't say much after that.

So yeah, my hospital adheres to N:P ratios. I've never had to take a 4th patient and hope to god I never will. But the fact remains that 7 nurses for 16 beds used to be doable and its simply not anymore. My manager confided in me the other day that her boss told her if we try to hire any more nurses we will lose our travel nurses (5) which is insane because we're barely scraping by as it is. Our new nurses came off orientation around Oct/Nov and some of them are already telling me they're burning out and considering leaving after their 1 year contract is up. I want to tell them there's greener pastures but this is sadly the state of current hospital nursing everywhere.

Of nurses dropping out of the profession d/t lack of safety and exhaustion, of patients getting sicker and sicker because of covid but also!!! Lack of the dedicated, focused nursing care they need to get better (The amt of families who've screamed at me over the last year bc I'm not in their room often enough, I'm sorry I have 2 other patients who are also seriously ill I'm trying), every unit being backed up and overflowed and ICUs get preference over everyone else (in terms of budget, staffing, respect) so we're forced to take unsafe patients that I know we can't properly care for. It's so frustrating.

Everyone keeps saying we need a reckoning in healthcare. I say we're gonna get one whether we want it or not because something has to give. You can't punish and push your workforce for going on 3 years straight without consequence. I never thought I'd say March 2020 was the Easy Time bc I had resources and staffing and something of my mental health sorted. Nurses can't ethically strike but we can break and something, nationally, is going to have to be altered when we all collectively give out.

[bitchfitch]

I'm outlining that pirate thing rn. Properly getting it cleaned up and ready for actual work to be begun on it.

But i kinda realized that i need to split what was going to be the first book in the trilogy into two separate stories.

Like, Part 1 is pirate times in space/ a whirlwind romance, part 2 is the horrors of bureaucracy, Toi'uhla being frustrated and bored with zer life and finding ways and excuses to go bang a pirate while said pirate mostly carries on as normal.

Like, I'm pretty certain Toi'uhla and Lordakai are getting the same amount of screen time in part one, but part 2 is Very Toi'uhla centric up to the very very end which makes me feel like it should be its own separate thing. plus a large portion of it is just letters back and forth between the two of them instead of the action of the first book.

i don't really have a conclusion to this. I'm mostly just rambling.

Anyways, here's the rough draft of the very basic outline:

that pirate thing book 1:meet cute

Lordakai and Toi'uhla meet on the boat.

Toi'uhla was on zer way home from spending season with Guli'vany and is more than elated to know they will be wed soon.

Lordakai has the ship sacked and is frustrated to find it devoid of anything worth taking. Last year's haul was a fraction of what he had needed it to be. He needs to make good money this year to keep his crew happy and paid.

Laz is the one who finds the passenger log and hands it off to him.

He is relieved to see a lord is aboard and takes Toi'uhla hostage. He knows that with only one hostage he won't have much to bargain with so he puts on a show to make sure everyone is terrified for Toi'uhla's safety.

Toi'uhla claws him when he makes zer kiss him.

Toi'uhla is taken directly to the brig, and Lordakai makes it clear he has no intention of actually hurting zer. Ze just needs to behave and play along.

It's going to be a 2 week trip back to Cu'Liona, Lordakai plans to make landfall After the cruise ship so that word will spread and the Duke will get nervous.

Toi'uhla promises to make those two weeks hell for him.

The first few days go by plain and easy. Boring as hell for Toi'uhla as Lordakai gets everything moving easy again. Toi'uhla plans zer escape.

Fiana notes that there is a ship tailing them. Keeping it's distance and trying to look like it's just another merchant vessel but it's clear it's waiting for a good time to dart in.

Lordakai decides they will bait it out. And tells the crew to ready, they'll be luring it into the shadow of an island and taking out it's lights to let the shadows handle it for them.

Toi'uhla escapes, having snagged the key to zer cell off of a distracted Lordakai. Ze sees the prep work as ze sneaks through the ship but doesn't know what's happening until the ship banks hard.

Lordakai is having the bane set on a ram course. It's metal bow will take the blow easily if the other ship doesn't drop and take the one safe path. down below the island they were passing.

The ship does so. But is quick enough to bank out of the shadows before they can attack. Lordakai orders the hull piercers fired and two of the four nail the ship. The bane being larger and more powerful whips the ship back into the shadows, cutting the ropes as soon as it there so that the bane can escape before being eclipsed.

The lights on the decks are taken out by arrows. Laz and Fiana manning the cross bows and picking off anyone they can see.

The shadows get thicker. The enemy ship drops it's sail. Sends off a flair, and lowers its own flag. Lordakai orders another round of hull piercers fired. The ship has surrendered and that's enough for him. The bane tows the ship out of the shadows faster than it could sail out with its shadow raveged sails.

The bane pulls the ship along side so that they can at least get their hull piercers back.

Toi'uhla sees the deck. the dead were torn to shreds. the killed shadows twitching and writhing as the light burns them away.

The enemy captain is wounded.

Toi'uhla hides before the negotiations are complete.

Lordakai is proud of what his crew achieved. They get the hull piercers back, and take from the enemy crews coffers. Snag a few supplies. but Lordakai orders some of their own medical supplies left for the wounded.

The pirate hunters are sent on their way. The bane resumes it's course.

Lordakai finally realizes Toi'uhla had escaped when he goes to take zer dinner.

Toi'uhla found a snug place in the cargo hold to hide out. Ze didn't have much more of a plan. Ze was free of the cell. But now what?

Lordakai order Laz to find zer.

Ze begins to regret zer escape when ze realizes the kitchen is never empty. the food is stored where there is always eyes on it. Water is another issue too. The large barrels of drinkable water are too heavy for zer to open. Ze makes it full day and a half before dehydration catches up to zer and makes zer slow enough for Laz to catch.

she drags zer back to Lordakai's cabin but ze manages to escape up the rigging. zes still week and struggling, so ze doesn't react fast enough to avoid the net Fiana shoots at zer. Lordakai catches zer and finally gets zer in his cabin.

They discuss what it will take for Toi'uhla to just accept this is happening and to calm zer ass down.

Ze is petulant. Lordakai offers to let zer stay out of the cell and hang around the crew. Toi'uhla doesn't agree but ze didn't really have a choice.

over the next few days, despite zer best effort, ze does settle into a rhythm with the crew, and worse yet, ze's enjoying it.

Besides the chores that need done every day it's a lot of lazing about and chatting and playing games or enjoying hobbies.

Hell even most of the chores ze gets assigned are fun. Ze patches the sails and gets to check the parts of the rigging nobody else can get to and ze is allowed to keep watch for them from the birds nest and it's all so much calmer and there's so much less pressure than zer life as a noble. and Maybe ze is starting to warm up to Lordakai who pulls zer into his lap at meal times to make sure ze can reach the table and who let's zer hitch rides on his shoulder and who is funny and maybe a little handsome and maybe Ze is still trying hard to pretend ze hates him even when his flirting makes zer a little warm below the collar. He flirts with everyone, ze doesn't take it as actual interest.

a few days before they are supposed to dock in Cu'Liona, they spot a merchant ship and Lordakai orders it raided.

The merchants fight back. The fight is rough and brutal, nobody on the bane is killed but a few are severely wounded. Toi'uhla fights too and the adrenaline leaves zer buzzing through the aftermath.

Lordakai is the ships doctor. He sees to the wounded and when he's done he grabs Toi'uhla by the wrist and takes zer to his cabin.

Lordakai is riled up and angry and looking to blow off steam.

Toi'uhla is happy to help.

The night passes. The adrenaline wears off, and Toi'uhla finally realizes what ze has done.

Ze killed people. Ze killed Merchants trying to protect their lively hoods from pirates. Ze fucked one of the pirates. Ze fucked the captain and ze Enjoyed every second of it.

Ze sits up in his bed. Dresses. And doesn't fully consider zer options before grabbing for his sword.

Zes a monster. But maybe ze could put an end to this one.

Lordakai asks what ze thinks zes doing when ze straddles his chest.

He talks zer down and get zer to lay with him through to morning. Promises that if ze still wants to kill him once zer mind is clear he would let zer.

The next few days pass. Toi'uhla sleeps with Lordakai again the evening before they dock in Cu'liona.

Lordakai negotiates with Asu'uhla. and demands what he knows is an outrageous amount. He expects zer to negotiate. but ze eventually just agrees but insists that ze just needs time to pay. He takes a down payment and gives zer a month.

Lordakai is frustrated and angry when he gets back on the ship. Tells his crew to set sail for the sell port they use and locks himself in his cabin to do the math. They'd have enough for supplies but without the rest of the pay out there'd barely be anything for the crew.

Toi'uhla hears this from Laz. Everyone knows that the money is tight right now. Laz Yandoli, Fiana, and a few others agree that they're willing to wait until the ransom payout, but a few other crew members are going to need to bail when they hit port.

The night they dock Lordakai drags Toi'uhla off to a brothel and they just have fun while he tries to calm his anxieties

They take 3 days in the port to get supplies. Toi'uhla has a bit of fun being able to walk around without people sharing at zer constantly. Lordakai keeps a hand on zer at all times to stop zer running off.

They stay in Lordakai's room at the little inn he likes.

it's a calm before the storm. Word has gotten out about how high the ransom is and the second the two of them are separated Toi'uhla is nabbed. Ze ends up hurt pretty badly in the initial conflict but escapes once zes on the ship.

Toi'uhla spends the next few hours using everything ze had learned to terrorize the new crew.

The bane finds them and Lordakai demands a parlay. The captain tries to negotiate, but Toi'uhla uses the distraction to get back onto Lordakai's shoulder. He sees ze's injured. and decides to take the opportunity.

"I don't pay for damaged merchandise, and I don't particularly care to work with people who would damage my merchandise,"

He fires his gun and kills the other captain.

"Lovely, Now that that mess is handled. How would you lads like a job? We've got a large windfall incoming in 3 weeks time Shares are fair on my boat yadda yadda ya, I don't care much either way."

A few of the sailors join the crew.

(cute hurt comfort scene?)

The rest of the month is spent montaging through Toi'uhla and Lordakai getting closer as a couple and Toi'uhla beginning to really settle in to pirate life. Taking up zer role as problem causer easily and with great joy.

until finally it's time to return home.

And ze realizes ze doesn't want to.

Ze wants to stay.

Ze has to remind zerself there are people waiting for zer back home. Duties ze needs to attend to, a Fiance ze needs to court.

Fuck, what was ze going to tell Guli'vany? Would ze still want zer after all of this?

The night before they're supposed to dock Lordakai asks if ze wants to stay

Ze says ze can't.

He understands and asks if they can say their goodbyes now, so that way the crew doesn't have to see him blubbering in the morning.

He doesn't call zer Lil Bird again after that. Always "your lordship" or " Toi'uhla"

after the negotiations the next day Lordakai takes a coin from the ransom and makes Toi'uhla kiss it for him. Says something about it being something to remember zer by.

That... that makes zer feel a certain way ze can't really put into words.

Lordakai struts away, like the last month meant nothing to him.

When he turns around he sees Toi'uhla get pulled into a tight hug by a sobbing lorinus with side feathers that match Toi'uhla's crest. He remembers the handful of yellow feathers Toi'uhla had had in zer belongings, and he only then realizes ze had been engaged this whole time.

Something about that just doesn't sit right with him, even if he knows it's stupid that it doesn't.

[interestsofabookwormbitch]

Season 2 Episode 3

So as I said, an episode today, and that's exactly what I'm doing. Woo, let's go! Just give me like 15 minutes to get everything g set up (I say as if I'm not posting this all as one big post where no one even notices the length of time I take)

So it's been a more than a week and I definitely need the recap this time. Lol.

Ok, caught up.

Oh flashback. I kinda hate these because I always feel so bad for the aliens.

It's Michael's mom!

Of course this alien burns the only guys who was keeping things calm and collected. Way to start things off hostile.

Holy shit! He burned up fast. Well, you know I can't say shooting wasn't at least partially justified. But I will say that keeping them all locked up the way they did for decades wasn't (I refuse to give the military people much leeway).

Ok, so since she didn't die here, and she also was free for at least a year, this man either let her go, or something happened to him. We shall see the answer (maybe)

It took me a minute to remember everyone (sans Maria because she still knows nothing) knows about Max now. Lmao. I was so confused when Alex walked in

Dude. I'm laughing at this whole scenario. I feel awkward whenever people talk about a relationship they had, so I laugh. Don't question me. I'm weird. I'm a we-.... nope not even gonna finish that thought. Lmao.

(I've noticed I have a lot of energy right now. Probably because it's been awhile and I'm excited to watch again. Unfortunately I can only do one episode today)

Ok, nice! I am actually invested in learning about his mother. There's a lot there.

Yo! Jenna. Lowkey though super attracted to her. Like idk if I mentioned it. Don't get me wrong, everyone in this show is hot on some level or another, but she's doing it the most for me.

Woah! What's Maria's mom doing there? See I can't tell if she's actually right when she implies aliens and looks up or not. She does have a habit of believing in movies.

Hey Maria. Jenna found your mom. No need to worry anymore. I mean, lowkey, Green (whoever that is) is right. Whether it be aliens or not.

Ok, that omelet does not look right, but I digress. Also, why is it always omelet's in shows. Like idk about you guys, but omelets aren't gonna make me go "that's really good." And I like omelets. A lot actually but there's nothing special that'll surprise you eating someone else's.

Dude Maria. She's funny and I missed her.

I don't think it's the run that's got Izzy looking off.

I mean, I'm not 100% convinced this isn't related to something similar to Noah at the very least. I think her concern is well placed. And no she's not okay.

Not the alcohol Rosa. And she's still happy with Liz is she? Okay, she's dumping it that's good.

Yes, let's tell Jenna. I mean, girl deserves to know considering everything. Actually why is she back rn?

Isobel clearing out all of Noah's stuff? Ew not the pregnancy. Oh, not the poison either. Look, I'm sure there's some safer way to kill that fetus. Right?

Max? Is this like really him and part of their connection? Or is it just a hallucination? I can't tell. He seemed to be in a lot more pain when we saw him last, so I'm assuming not him, but I can never tell For sure with this show

Ok, so fake Max. Got it. Love that she argues with figment Max. And honestly, Kyle probably would have been a better choice than this. Most the anatomy is very similar it seems, I'm sure he could have a rough idea. Ish. Maybe.

Yep she's ill.

Michael. Come on now, Jenna can know. Ok, she kinda went off but if it works.

Maria, idk if your mom can even properly and reliably explain what happened. She gets so lost sometimes. Even when she is thinning clearly I doubt this is something people would believe (I mean Idk what happened, but probably something strange).

Look, Alex is great, we love him, but I will never like the military uniform. I'm sorry. Anyways who's the note and stuff from?

I like how even though both Liz and Jenna are in love with Max (in some sense. Obviously Liz 100% main ship and all, but Jenna could not quite be in love, we just know she cared a lot about him) they still get along really well. True adults. I'm used to teens in media.

Are you sorry? I'm not sure, I mean, his dad deserves this. Also that morphine drip is gonna do something.

Ok, yeah, once he got going this became obviously a trick.

Rosa drinking to drown out Max. I honestly feel bad. She's terrified, but also she has addiction problems, and this is not good for her to be doing.

How fucky would that be though? Being the younger sibling and suddenly older? Also, ok, so we got an almost diagnosis for bipolar on this show now.

Isobel is not doing well right now. Please at least get someone with you. Someone who can actually help you and not just imaginary (still potentially a little real) Max.

I love how close Isobel and Max are. Like they're not reflective of my sibling experience, but it's still nice to see siblings actually being this close.

Can she fucking drop this case already. Oh my god.

Oh no. AjkfjHkgsKahjsfhdiwsjsjjd. Maria! Rosa! Finally gonna get Maria in too now.

Rosa, this isn't super comforting. She's just gonna straight up tell her. Lmao

Look, she literally cannot be asking questions to a puking woman. This has to be like crossing boundary of some kind. Like please just fuck off.

I like this bonding with Jenna and Liz. It's fun. Ok it's not fun anymore.

"That was incredible" I concur Max. Way to get through that with grace and ease Isobel. Model of perfection even as you're dying.

Aw. Isobel. I miss him too. And I feel so bad that you have to miss him. Seeing everyone grieve make me sad. I don't like this. But what I do like is how realistic it is for grief.

Well shit. She's puking blood now.

Ok this show is actually pretty good at delving into real world issues naturally. Immigration, abortion laws, drug addiction, abuse, trauma. It deals with all these topics, some of them very much political, and it does it well.

Maria is not gonna be happy with Michael once she learns he knows. If she doesn't already know with Rosa explaining it.... messy messy

Yeah ok, Rosa explained everything. This is gonna be messy. If only they decided to let Maria in earlier like I wanted...

I really like this discussion between Max and Isobel. Like I actually feel this whole storyline with Izzy is a very important one, and I really appreciate the writers giving it the weight it deserves.

She's struggling so much, and Max's anxiety over whether she'll get it or not is seeping into me.

It's literally right there!

Ok, so that really was a fake Max. Got it got it. It makes sense I guess. But either way real Max feels her still, and knows there's something wrong.

I'm still curious why Jenna is back. But I love the fact that they're talking about what they like about Max and just going through this together. It's fun.

Ok, Michael was right there, but I'm good with Liz saving Isobel too. So long as someone saves her.

Why does Jenna always pull wthrough with something like this. Love that.

Girl look down she's right there! Ok good.

This is a needed discussion. Also I love that it ends with a hug.

Yeah, Maria is gonna be mad for a bit isn't she? She deserves it. They should have told her after the Noah incident at least.

Ok, so it was her own doing. Fair enough. Good on her.

Ok, so I was almost fooled by him, but yeah he's bad. Not as bad as dumb as everyone else, but still bad.

Also I was right before! She brought the pods to safety. She and this other alien lady. There's some kind of bond there. Maybe she's Max and Isobel's mom. Maybe those two actually are blood siblings and that's why they have their connection

A monster known as the American government/military. Sorry Alex, you know it's true.

Rosa! She feels so guilty, and I just want her to know that this isn't her fault. I mean, Liz is gonna comfort her, and Liz is pretty good at saying what needs to be said and understanding things.

Yes, give me the answers. This other alien lady is fucking dying though, and I hope she ends up alright. Also this man seems like a good guy considering he definitely didn't turn them in back then, and was even in the picture smiling with Michael's mom. I think he's the only human character from back then that I like thus far.

And there's the episode. Finally back into it. It's been so long.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[fuckyouiamcanadian]

I got tagged by @fuckyeahyoongi  to do 8 photos of 2018.. this is all gonna be long cause I can never stop talking it's also been a long ass year so I have alot to say.

It was hard because I'm obsessed with myself during my times when I have self esteem so I have so many selfies that are cute and that I like !!! Especially I have had pretty good self esteem this year which is great!!. 2018 started rough but truly got really better. I moved out, then moved back in cause my parents moved out, I started post secondary, drank alot, smoked alot (surprising haven't gotten high once since legalization tho) and I met lots of friends that I love, I kinda realiz3d my worth in alot of ways too. I tested lots of makeup things and changed my hair up a bit (I cut myself wack bangs) and so there so many times that I looked rough because I tried so many things. I stayed blonde for the majority of the year (actually I stayed blonde for almost an entire year) which means alot of bad pictures with ugly roots and bad grown in looks. Then I tried purple and it went a wack green and multi coloured way. So I went blue for a short time then I went black+!+ darkest I've been since I was natural! Which was in grade 12 or before. (Or the short time between shaving all my hair off and bleaching). I love the black surprisingly. So idk where I was going with this but that was most of 2018. Yikes also I met Jacob which has been amazing (we now been dating 3 months) I love him lots and I was gonna put a picture of us but there was too many good pictures of just me. Yikes ok this is really long

First photo is me with 2 of my journalism friends !! Lexa and Joyce I love them and we get along great!!. Had lots of drinks and fun with them and I can't wait till I'm back in calgary and I can see them again. They are unlike most of the other friends I've ever had. I just have fun with them and it's not like I'm emotionally depend on them like we can talk but it's not like always serious. We can have fun and let go when we are together and kinda just be less stressed from school and have fun.

Second pic is me and my bby Aries who sadly died this year after I moved out :(( my bby chaos died too :( and I actually didn't know this picture if us existed until a couple weeks ago. And I'm not entirely sure it's from 2018 but don't hate me. It was a big thing that happened this year tho.

3rdd is me at the job I kept for a record breaking like 3 weeks and I worked a today of like 5 days!!! But also this has kinda been a mood for 2018 I HAVE CRIED ALOT!!! Also love that outfit when I low-key look hit.

4th is me and my sister new puppy blair rose. Sadly my sister old puppy who I loved so much got hit by a car and had to be put down. I miss iya dearly because she was so sweet and me and her had a bond. Blair annoys me but I'm sure she will grow on me if she ever stops crying!!! See we already have alot in common. She wants attention and cries when she doesn't get it.

5ht I wanna post this because that high light under my eyebrow is poppin.lile damn . It was global fest and was fun!! Kinda boring but singing after ward out the window of harmans car was a good time. That night I refound my love for Carly Rae Jepson.

6th me closer to the beginning of the year (cause most of these pictures are from August till now) and it when I was tryna be cute and do makeup and I was low-key being a very depressed hoe!! I was bored and felt lost alot throughput the first half of the year so I drank and smoked alot and was sad!! It was rough

7th is me and my momma only pic I really have with her since I was a baby. And it's from Thanksgiving when I came to Saskatchewan because she moved here!! (I'm currently visiting her RN too) after living in the same house for like 26 years they finally moving back to this small town so my dad has the opportunity to make more money. They made the decision to move sometime in the summer and my mom and baby brother came here in August so my brother could start school here. My dad is still working in calgary but (because me and my sister have a roommate for our childhood house for January 1st) my dad will be in Saskatchewan after Christmas for good. It's been rough and will continue yo be rough because me and my mom are really close and I used to hangout and talk all the time so I miss her. And Imma miss my dad too. Sometimes I even miss my brother.

The last pic is me drunk as heck on halloween because halloween has been lit and the pic was too ugly to post on ig so here it goes. And even tho this year has been hard and long (just how I like it 😊😊) I'm optimistic for the future and and this picture just shows me happy and I think finally I'm actually really happy. And like doesn't mean I ain't a depressed bitch but I'm optimistic that Imma start being a happy depressed bitch. And I just lile this pic.

So yeah 2018 turned into a really good year even tho it had a lot of really low points.

I don't I see Tumblr much and I'm not sure who still used it so everyone should just do this!!!!

Sorry it's so long. I didn't even cover all of 2018 because it was so messy and literally felt so long I can't even remember what was 2018 and what wasn't 😂😂

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Grace

Rio: Gracie! Can't tie either parental down so you're unlucky enough to be my first port of call Rio: If I come down this week (half term, right? God I feel old not knowing, ick!) how many of yous are gonna be about? Wanna catch all of you if I can Grace: I'm not surprised, Nico thinks mum's charger is the most fun thing EVER and you know dad still kicks it like he's at some 70s disco instead of a restaurant kitchen. So cringe! Grace: Iggy's took off in the van and Pablo's never here even when he is (ugh we get it, you're hanging shush) but everyone else maybe? Grace: Unless Junior's nerding it up idk Rio: Bless them, you'll miss them when you go Rio: Mum and Dad, the cats, only your faves and Nico is a little bitch 😂 Rio: Good enough for me! Sure enough I'll only hold any of yas down for a hot second regardless Rio: What've you been up to? Got any fun plans then? Grace: 😂 No way they're the worst and won't give me the chance Grace: Ask Janis they're always in her grill now she has a bf she can't ever peel herself off of Grace: Gurl you better make time for me! 😚 London's like another planet and I need that goss Grace: Gotta keep uploading that 🐰🐣 content Grace: but keeping it lowkey 👌 Rio: They're highkey nerds, tis true, least they give a shit, eh? 😘 Rio: Fucking knew it, sneaky bitch. I asked her at NYE and she said nah but I KNEW Rio: Ugh, gonna give her SO much shit when I come back 😂 Rio: Duh! My goss might not set the teenybop influencer world alight but think you'll be into it Rio: Also, got some lush bunny ears from work you can style up if you like, there's the content Rio: Very Ariana Grace: We're so blessed 🙏 Grace: OMFG THANK YOU 👏 she's such a lying bitch Grace: And they are so 😍💍💘 it's HONESTLY disgusting like I can't Grace: YAS 👑!! babes I knew I was missing you Grace: Such a mood Rio: 🙌 Rio: Steady on 😂 Fill me on the beef before I'm taking sides Rio: Can't roll like that babe 🙉 Rio: Is he a twat? I could barely get a look in, hot property with the whole fam that night not just Jan, like 😏 Rio: Right? My turn to THANK YOU 'cos all the other girls were raging after me lemme tell you, saying it reeked of misogyny and cheesy old school playboy Rio: Not educated in Hef paving the way for ladies being allowed to be sexual, ESP the sistas 💣💥 Rio: Its iconic, yeah? Like hush Grace: Honey not even! Now he's got her feeling the 💖 we all benefit Grace: Like from 💀 to 😍!! Grace: Here's the thing he's NICE!! 😮 How and who tf !! 😂 In THESE ends Grace: He's pimped my feed with his 📷 more that once. Lush! Grace: Trust her to find the one decent lad Grace: OMG how shaming! it's literally so on point I feel bad for how off they are. Beyond awkward Grace: 👯💜 Rio: Can't argue with that Rio: It'll be nice to see her happy Rio: All of yous Rio: Yeah, had noticed your new lad was off the feed Rio: Just not the one or do I need to crack skulls on YOUR behalf? Spill! 😘 Maybe Gus has had his 💔 Rio: Right? Not complaining when they were raking in the tips and looking fly doing it, this is why Vinnie listens to me and not them though so 💋 win win for me Grace: 🤞 Grace: UGH don't go there babe Grace: I'm off men rn 🙏 so you can relax Grace: Give Gus and Diego their time to shine 😂 Grace: OMG PLEASE say you can finally get me in sometime soon! 💋 Rio: Good girl 👍 Rio: Me too, more trouble than they're worth, and I'll always check what they're worth, feel me Rio: Love 'em 😂 I'd say they keep me sane but not with the shenanigans they still manage to get themselves into, nah lads Rio: You're old enough that I can vouch for you with him to get you in but Imma need to go out in Dubo with you first Rio: See how you handle your liquor, can't be risking the boss' license if you're gonna get #WGW 😏 Grace: I 100% swear down that D has a 💘 at his school but he's pulling a Jan over it so Grace: Yay! I'm buzzing Grace: Say when and I'll be on it Grace: The vibe looks EPIC in every insta it's 💕 Rio: Surely not! My babies! 😭 Rio: I've changed all ya nappies, it ain't right, I tell ya! 👵 Rio: Whenever you can pencil me in darling 💋 If you come back on the plane with me you'll only have to do the one back alone Rio: Unless you want to bring a mate but you've gotta vouch for them 'cos I don't know them enough to put my name on the line, they ain't my little sister 💛 Grace: 😂😂 I had to go full spa on him cos he was 🙎 and not vibing with the sheet masks he'd been stealing from me for WEEKS 😂😂 Grace: He's so 😍 for someone Grace: This is HAPPENING 👌 Mum'll say yes cos it's obvs for my mental health Grace: It's enough for collab our schedules tbh imagine trying to get the squad hooked up Rio: Aww! What a little sweetie! 😭 Giving me so much fodder to get 'em all with, yas gurl! 🙊 Rio: She defs knows the benefit of letting ya hair down and if she disagrees then she ain't our Muvva 👽 Rio: Same when I was your age, so many parties, so much time stretching ahead...ugh, hark at me Rio: Speaking of though, Pabs has managed to keep outta the drunk tanks since my last visit, yeah? 🙄 Chief Grace: I'd say go easy cos the acne is !! but where was mine was I was a 🍕 me and payback are bitches that have each other's backs like 😂 Grace: So welcome 💋 remember who treated you right hun 😚 Grace: Oh babe that's proper tragic 😂 Are you okay?! Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I'd lie to spare your feels but I can't even cos he is not forgiven! Fuck him truly Rio: Way harsh babe! Gotta share that knowledge and spot treatment 🙏 older sib duties ✌ you only gotta look out for them 3, feel MY pain when I wanna be a petty bitch please 😉😂 Rio: Clearly not, like...What tf am I like? 🙈 Rio: Still in the dog house then...I hope little miss tiny tits is too, seen her being snide on the 'gram Rio: we know she's no 😇 so as long as she's getting her share of the 💩 from you, I ain't judging on the Pabs score 👌 Grace: 😈 LMAO jks obvs I'm living for getting to flex like that Grace: Nobody else lets me near their face, their loss but still BOO Grace: Ugh yes cos he doesn't even see that he did me WRONG she was trying he's just an idiot and its like BOY NO Grace: Never learning them lessons Grace: 🚫 No worries there she's BEYOND cancelled 🚫 Grace: I hate that bitch Rio: That's why you gotta get them clients honey, just you wait, people will be BEGGIN' for your time and expertise 😘 Rio: Yeah, he's a fool in general though Rio: Not to say that ain't valid, 'cos 100% babe, but it wasn't personal, like Rio: Try to remember that 'cos he's not that boy, no matter what typa foolishness he's caught up in rn 😒 Rio: 👏 I like what I'm hearing, Gracie! So much growth! Rio: Here for it Grace: I feel you but also it's like idk it was personal to me cos she was my best friend and he knew that Grace: On some level idk Grace: Whatever I'm trying to be over it Grace: There's bigger 🐠 Rio: Fair Rio: Idk if he knows he knew...Mouthful Rio: Give him time and a chance, but that's it, sensible big sister said her piece on that, you're free to go on doing what you're doing 😜 Grace: Thanks 👑 Grace: Rio, I can forreal come to london right? Like you're not just shhing me Grace: I'm so done with this place atm Rio: Of course you can Rio: As long as the 'rents sign off on it, you can stay for as long as you like Rio: That's Dubo for ya...gets under your skin Rio: Anything else I can do, tho? Grace: 💜 Grace: Ugh it's just everything Grace: There's barely anything I can do Grace: Ignore me I'm a hormonal 👾 Rio: Have you had your B12 and folates checked? Billie and Edie were anaemic you should double-check 'cos that will have you feeling rough as Grace: 👼 You're adorbs Grace: Enough of my chatter anyway, how are you? Rio: 👀 okurr but we're coming back to this later Rio: 'cos I'm same old same old Rio: Nothing beyond the promised goss of London to report Rio: No boys, remember? Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: Oh please you always have a boy Grace: Spill it Rio: 😨 Swear on my life, babe! Rio: Nothing and no one Grace: We're twinning then 💕 Grace: Do tell Janis 😂 Rio: Coming for ya brand Rio: Shameless 😏 like to think I could pass, not that old or having THAT crisis tho, jfc Grace: 👯💣🔥 Grace: You're flawless babe don't even stress Grace: when I'm your age I'll have to pray Rio: Aww, you doll, extra brownie points for boosting my ego 💋 Rio: What you chattin'?! We're all babes, lbr Grace: 😂 shhh avó be repping herself hard in me and no offence 👵 it's not goals 💔 lmao Grace: obrigado,... mas não, obrigado like she rocks it but she's also way old so Grace: the struggle is real 😂 Rio: You're mad gal Rio: don't be wasting your youth hating on what you'll miss Rio: though we all age like fine wine, avó paving the way 💣 Rio: Ma was onto something having us so young Grace: Don't let her hear you say that Grace: My ears are still ringing from her calling me out Rio: umm Rio: BISH YOU WHAT Grace: 🤷 No drama just Rio: You weren't on the pill? Or missed a day? Rio: We've all had the scare but I never got as far as needing to tell Mum Rio: You poor thing! 😨🙈 Grace: Well obvs that was my bad but she only made me die about a thousand times Grace: I survived Rio: Eeep! Rio: At least she didn't march you down the clinic in a shame cone like most would round here Grace: OMG like she made me go but my ootd was my own doing 🙏 Rio: Not so much as a high collar in sight 🙌 Rio: Explains your hormones though, babe, that shit will FUCK you up for ages Rio: so no worries there Grace: I know exactly what I'm in for Grace: Ugh Rio: Forreals Rio: Who'd be a fucking woman, eh? Grace: Mia. To fuck over the others Grace: kms Rio: 😂 Rio: Fueled by her PMS that one Grace: [Sends her 2 very similar selfies} which one do you vibe the most with? Rio: 1st one, s'more natural Rio: smile ALMOST reaches your eyes Grace: lmao Grace: Thanks babes Rio: if you gonna fake it 'til you make it Rio: gotta keep you the realest, ain't I? 😉 Grace: gotta keep me 😂 Rio: Wanna Rio: Blood ties aside 😘 Grace: 💜 Rio: Best get ready for work Rio: Could use you here to do my look for me, cba tonight 😐 blah Grace: I'd be living for that you know it but you'll be killing it with or without me, honey Grace: You got this gurl Rio: Cheers 🍸 Rio: I'll get the first round in when I see ya boo 💋 Grace: Yay! So excited 😚