#I'm having a headache from thinking about
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captain-bubble-wrap · 2 days ago
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I'm having a bit of a downtime. I feel so conscious about my appearance. May I have Quinn reassuring me that I look good?
My love, I'm sure you're absolutely stunning. Chin up, buttercup! 🩷
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Quinn hadn't participated in practice today. While he caught up on some rest, you had decided to go into the city for a little retail therapy of your own. Only it hadn't quite gone the way you had hoped. Everywhere you looked, there was a girl you felt was prettier than you, looking at something you had been interested in for yourself. It was easy to look at her, then at yourself, and convince yourself that you couldn't wear it near as good as she could. Self-sabotage and insecurity were bullying you into a early shopping trip.
It didn't matter what you did, they were all beautiful while you felt like trash. What did Quinn see in you, you wondered on the drive back to his apartment. He could have his pick of any Instagram model he wanted, so why had he chosen you? You would beat yourself up the entire time, resigning to tears after parking his car.
You had returned empty-handed.
"What are you doing back so early?" Quinn asked, seeing you walk through the door unexpectedly. He had been in the kitchen making himself some lunch, and had he known you were headed back, would have made you something as well.
"I wasn't feeling it." Your eyes were still red as you caught sight of your reflection in the mirror by the door. Quinn was bound to notice soon enough. "I think I've got a migraine starting."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, babe. Do you have anything you can take?"
"Yeah."
He was genuinely being helpful, but you had blown him off and shuffled past the kitchen towards the bedroom. As he watched you go, your eyes down to avoid making eye contact, he knew there was more to it than the headache excuse. He'd let you go for now, not wanting to push you too much that you just shut down completely.
In the bedroom, you had gotten under the covers, hugging Quinn's pillow like you did when he was away on the road. You didn't want to cry anymore, but you had hurt your feelings so badly that there were no good thoughts left to give you even a drop of confidence in anything.
"Sweetheart?" Quinn asked, darkening the doorway some time later. You had almost drifted off to a nap when he called out to you, and could have faked being asleep, but you weren't trying to be mean to him.
"Yeah?" You mumbled into the pillow.
"Are you alright?"
"Sure."
You could hear him sigh from across the room and soon the feeling of him climbing in to bed with you would finally make you give him your full attention. He had laid his head against the pillow of his you were clutching. His pretty eyes waiting to catch sight of yours desperately.
"What's wrong?" Quinn asked softly, his hand getting lost amongst your hair.
"Bad day."
"You seemed happy when you left." His brows pulled in slightly, trying to guess what had triggered the bad mood. "Did something happen while you were out?"
You bit your lip, pulling your eyes from his face. Why did he have to be so good at figuring out what was bothering you. "Just..."
Patiently, Quinn looked at you, his fingers giving you the gentlest scalp massage while he kept his hand buried deep in your hair.
"I just didn't feel like being shopping, that's all."
"Y|N, why don't you want to tell me?"
"Because it's a stupid reason," you choked out, eyes flicking back to Quinn's in haste.
His gaze softened, "Nothing is a stupid reason if it makes you feel like this, but I won't make you tell me. I just want to know you're alright."
"Why are you attracted to me?"
Quinn's expression twisted slightly. That was about the last question he would have dreamed you'd ask him. "What do you mean? In what way?"
"Why me over some model or something?"
He'd raise his head, propping himself up with his right arm. "I wasn't attracted to you because of your looks, sweetheart. That's just an added bonus. Do I come off that petty?"
"No, you don't. I just-- it's hard to not judge myself against all the other girls that could have my spot. I told you it was a stupid reason."
There was deep concern in Quinn's expression. There were few things he hated more than when you got down on yourself.
"As cliche as it might sound, looks eventually fade and no longer matter. What makes you, you, is your personality, baby. It's what shines through any amount of makeup or outfit. You can't fake a personality, not a real one. You know, as good as I do, that there are plenty of girls faking all of that just to get with any of us. They can't keep up the charade, and away they go, and another takes their place. Do you know how refreshing it was to meet you? How you genuinely smiled? That little snort you let out when you laughed at yourself for being nervous asking for that autograph? Do you remember how bad I blushed? I could hardly sign that jersey. I thought I was going to have to replace it because my signature looked like a fake."
You laughed softly remembering that day. He had been a little bit of a bumbling mess but it was so cute.
"You kept popping up in my head the whole rest of the day. Your eyes, your smile, hell, even that perfume you had been wearing. Drove me crazy all day. I see beautiful women everyday, but not a one of them are waiting for me back home like you are. I don't picture any of them waiting for me, wearing one of my t-shirts like you do. Each time I hear your voice when I'm away, I melt, because I get to hear it every--single--day."
You had been chewing on your bottom lip to keep the tears at bay and Quinn had noticed. The hand that had been lost in your hair moved to hold your face, and his thumb would coax your lip from between your teeth.
"You're the only person I have eyes for -- the others are just people. You're my baby, and I love you. They don't mean anything to me. You have my heart."
"Quinny~" you whispered, knowing everything he said was his raw, unfiltered truths.
"I mean it, all of it. You might think the other girls are prettier than you, but I don't. Not for a second. You're the only one I want."
You didn't know what to say. His ability to melt away any bad mood you were dealing with, soothe any hurt feeling you had, and reassure you through it all had been a natural talent. It was times like these that you didn't feel like you deserved him, but you'd never tell him that. You knew already that he hated when you put yourself down and when you thought you should have less. Instead, you'd try to be thankful for him taking the time to explain his reasonings to you.
"I'll reassure you more, if you want me to. I just need to know. I'll do whatever I can to make you feel better, just to keep stuff like this from happening. I just don't want you to shut me out, okay?"
You'd give him a nod. "I'm sorry to be this way."
Quinn smiled, "It's alright. Do you think I don't wonder why you put up with me half the time?"
"But I love you!"
"Exactly! Because I know you love me -- that you truly love me for me and not the other stuff-- I don't have to worry about anything else; I don't let the other stuff rule me. Does that makes sense?"
"Mhm," you nodded.
"And before you say it, you don't need to be sorry. Things happen, and sometimes we just need a little more to see what we've been overlooking."
The air went out of you like a balloon. Quinn's ways with words left you speechless more times than you thought he realised.
"If it would make you feel better, I'll take you out sometime next week and let you know how beautiful I think you'd look in anything you try on. Anything you like, it's yours. No limit."
"Quinn~"
"I mean it. If it makes you smile, I want you to have it."
"You make me smile."
He laughed softly, "You have me already, silly."
You'd roll over on your back as he climbed on top of you, lips hovering just above each other's. "Unless you're wanting something more. Then I can give you that, too."
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micahulrichdraws · 2 days ago
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I come in peace! I don’t wanna try to convince you to take commissions! But I am curious about why you’re so strongly against them, did you have a bad experience working on one? Anyway, love your stuff, your tarot designs go so hard
Thanks for the love!! The reason isn't a bad experience or some such, it's 19 years of being a professional artist and knowing the field!
TLDR: I'm a traditional pen and ink illustrator, so it's not financially viable or creatively fulfilling.
I'm always down to talk art business, so here's a brief breakdown wall of text:
On the financial side, commission designs are almost always done at a net loss/break even for the artist, and I'm no exception. They're alright for starting out, or if you're looking to incorporate them into your marketing (IE: doing a poster design for a band to gain exposure), but typically they're roughly half the cash-per-hour for any established artist VS making an original design, and creating a print run of it.
Example: while tons of folks would look at someone charging $1k USD for a commission and think that it would be crazy cash, once you break down the math, it's pretty bad. An average design for me takes on average 30-40 hours, and that's because I don't have to communicate with anyone else. I'm just drawin' my idea. Assuming this is a dream client who has the mind-meld with me, wire transfers the $1k straight into my bank account the second it's done, that's roughly $25/hr. Once again - this looks *great*, that's around $50k/yr from drawing custom stuff! But that's not how it works. First of all, most folks would lose their *minds* at paying $1k for a commission - over the years I graphed it out, and back when I was a less-established artist, most folks would start with a budget of $100, have their limits pushed at $300, and outright refuse $500. You have to sift through all of those folks in order to get that reasonable commission. That includes folks who aren't willing to commit to a commission, don't want to say no to the price, but will still take up your time. Roughly, for me at least, 10 hours a week of it. You'll also have to run collections on roughly 20% of your customers - they may pay the deposit, but you'll have to chase them for the final payment. Even if you take the payment *in advance* you'll end up having to chase them down/get ghosted. So, realistically: you end up taking the $500, for *at least* 50 hours of work. On average, it clocked in closer to 65-70. $7.14 an hour. That's less than a third living wage and less than minimum wage. You cannot grow an art practice while actively starving. It's easier to make a design, sell it/license it/etc. to make more cash without losing your mind.
That said - After 2020, I reached a point in my career that when I take on custom work, it's typically from a larger brand with a larger scope and larger budget, ranging anywhere from $5k-$30k. That said - these businesses are typically ones that understand the industry and are far less of a headache to work with than individuals, and will give several months worth of work at a time at a living wage.
On the creative side, I enjoy making my own designs and work as opposed to other folks. I have a ton of drawings and projects I'd rather work on and share with folks of my own that are infinitely more fun than the 200th identical commission request (a biblically accurate angel that also is the grim reaper that is also Baldur's Gate 3 thirstraps/Dark Souls fan art/primarchs because Y'ALL AIN'T CREATIVE BUT MY ASTARION X SANGUINIUS SHIP CAME FIRST.) Also, most of the fun of my career is knowing as many folks as possible get to enjoy my art junk. I'd rather go through a few extra hoops and have thousands of folks see my stuff vs something only one other person gets to see.
If you made it this far, congrats, here is my favorite image I have saved in my camera roll:
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dunmeshistash · 11 hours ago
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Can you post all "5 key facts" from adventures bible please
On first glance this was supposed to be pretty straight forward, I was just gonna go on the AB and post the pages with the "5 keywords" sections but.... (I've had this on my drafts for almost a week) I don't really trust yen press translations anymore. There's several sections in the AB that were straight up mistranslated or were translated in a way that imply things that weren't implied in the original as far as I can tell
Just a couple of examples
EHScans:
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Yen press:
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EHScans:
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Yen Press:
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So EHScans says Marcille's mother "is currently" a court mage while yen press says she "served" as one in past tense. Yen Press says Chilchuck has "Forbidden" Laios from dating while EHScans says he "warned Laios that it should be forbidden", in both these cases as far as I can tell EHScans is more accurate to whats being said (but there's some sections I'm not sure). It's small things like that but since there's so little context I think Yen Press interpretations being so "off" with what would make sense makes them sound inaccurate (in my opnion, I'm not fluent in japanese)
This is gonna get even longer so I'll put a read more
I think I trust the EHScans translations more but there's a section I was in doubt about:
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EHScans implies Mithrun visits his brother and Yen Press implies the opposite, as far as I could tell from the original text it just says they "meet each other"? I'm not sure if there's any implication of who visits who
Here's the original text and the Yen press translation
ミスルンが頻死の重傷を負ってからは 、5年に1回程度は会っているようで 、「いつでも帰って来い」などと言われている 。
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What his brother says is 「いつでも帰って来い」 which means "come back (home)" ? I dont really understand if home is implied and if it means come back home (where we are) or come back home (somewhere else). This is giving me a headache, I think it would make more sense for his brother to visit him since Mithrun was sick but if the original really is vague they should have kept it that way I think.
Anyway, here's the rest of the pages from EHScans, I might make separate posts later for each character with their 5 keywords and some notes of my own of what I think sounds off in the translations.
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bloogers-boogers · 2 days ago
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Abel: stop it! stop it! STOP IT!
*everyone goes silent*
Abel: I'm not Lucifer's son! Can you all already shut the fuck up about it! Can't you guys just accept I'm biologically Adam and Eve’s child?! There's nothing wrong with that! Move on.
Charlie: I'm so sorry Abel..
Angel Dust: I'm not. There's no way you're their kid, you look nothin' like ya pah.
Cain: he has the shape of him.
Abel: HEY!
Cain: but maybe that's because he's fat.
Abel: you're just jealous of the possibility I'm right. Which I am. Cause no matter how many times I tell you I'm our parents kid, you don't believe it!
Cain: cause you're not. I saw it with my own two eyes. Dad got fucked by Lucifer and then suddenly you poofed into existence. So you're not mom's. So no, you're not Adam and Eve’s brat. I am.
Abel: here again with the same bullshit theory that dad birth me and that 'somehow' it was him who had an affair with the devil!
Lucifer: *cough cough* yeah.. theory *cough*..
Cherry bomb: everyone hear me out. It was Eve who fucked Lucifer and Adam birth Abel who was conceive from the affair.
Everyone: ....
Everyone: *starts arguing again*
Adam: *entering the room and heard Abel screaming again that he was son of Adam and Eve*
Adam: you're wrong.
Cain: aHA!!! wait. What? So i was fucking right?! I fucking knew it!! I wasn't having a bad nightmare as a kid! It was a nightmare! A real one. Where you and the devil fucked behind some bushes.
Adam: what? *cough* What're you talking about. No. He's not Eve’s or Lucifer’s. He's Lilith.
Everyone: WHAT?!!
Adam: I thought everyone already knew that? *side eyes Lucifer* what? Why are you acting all surprised? Didn't she tell you?
Lucifer: *still in shock*
Adam: there's literally a whole myth about it. Lilith got envious of Eve being set as her replacement and forced sex with me. Though, they kinda went far off with that one. It was mostly Lilith seducing me with fruits and a nice song and I admit, I was dumb to let that cunt seduce me, but, she was hot. And that song was a banger so we fucked and it was awesome.
Vaggie: but those were all myths! How did you think we'd know, they're millions of stories about you guys!
Abel: ... so.. all this time it was you who cheated on mom?
Adam: oh fuck no! That cheating bitch cheated on me first! I just went ahead and cheated with my original wife. It wasn't even cheating, we were separated at the time. Even if divorced wasn't a thing back then, me and your mom split up after the whole apple thing before we reconcile and banged again.
Cain: *having a really bad headache now* so you're telling me you fell in love with Lilith again at some point in that story??
Adam: *sigh* I didn't fall in love with Lilith. I was confused. So was she. We were never in love. It was more of a sense purpose kinda thing? Lilith’s purpose was being challenged after being told Eve took it away. So she figured if she took me away, fuck, have a kid with me, which was basically what we were originally meant to do. It would finally sastified her. Which it did cause we immediately separated after banging and she got pregnant. She "seduced me" by wooing me, stroking my ego and with promises like I would no longer have the need to want to find a sense of purpose, like her. But unlike her, my purpose was never fulfilled because I was meant to have children with my wife and build humanity. It was never stated for me to do it specifically with Lilith. It was "you, Adam, are meant to name all the animals of this planet, build humanity alongside your wife, who would partner and care for you and your children into death due apart" or some shit like that. While Lilith unintentionally found a loophole with hers, she, was meant to birth a child from Adam. Specifically. She did and moved on. Well, kinda? Cause she still has that itch to check on me sometimes, bitch about my shit and then turn it around to asking how's Abel.
In short. Lucifer stole Lilith from me. They ran off, she came back years after, took me while I was currently separated from your mother, we fucked, she left after birthing Abel, I assume back to Lucifer? And I went back with Eve. I discovered she had birth Cain and Azura while I was away. Eve and I raised Abel.
Cain: I need a drink..
Lucifer: so that's where Lilith went off after we had that argument...
Abel: someone kill me... again.
Cherry bomb: this is one fucked up family
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uceyliyahh · 4 hours ago
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SNEAKY LINK
Summary: After having a one night stand with each other Kiyana and Jey decided to become sneaky links until she grew attached to him will he be able to feel the same as her?
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smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.
Jey Uso x Kiyana
word count: 4620
AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.
comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍
ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.
I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios
But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️
TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @clubsoft
@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @tribalhoochie
@charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @raya-hunter01 @lilucey @soccergirlbae
Ø2
"This was just a one time thing we were both drunk and out of our minds,"
"I have something goin' on with someone else but we are on and off,"
"Now you're attached to me due to me taking your virginity,"
KIYANA The clock was nearing eleven in the morning, with sunlight streaming through the curtains and birds singing cheerfully outside. I awoke to a throbbing headache that left me feeling quite irritable. As I reached for my phone, I noticed messages from Nathan and Liv. My photoshoot wasn’t scheduled to begin until one-thirty, so I knew I needed to arrive early.
I got out of bed, suddenly aware that I was only half-dressed. As I turned around, I spotted Jey peacefully sleeping beside me, and my thoughts began to race—I had given my virginity to this man just last night.
I aimed to stay calm, so I quickly picked up the clothes I wore the night before and headed into the bathroom for a swift shower. I locked the door behind me, ensuring he couldn't enter and scrutinize me from my feet to my face.
What the fuck I was thinking? Sleeping with a man that I barely know.
This was meant to be a fleeting encounter, a simple one-night stand, and I had no intention of getting emotionally involved, right? My mother had always cautioned me about the risks of forming attachments after sharing such an intimate experience. I let out a deep sigh, running my fingers through my hair in frustration.
I need to concentrate on my photoshoot today and prepare for the fashion show this weekend. I feel incredibly nervous about walking alongside all the other women, but I can’t help but think how proud my mother would be of me.
As I turned on the cold water to wash my face, I stepped into the shower, leaning against the counter to gather my thoughts. The events of last night swirled in my mind—I had gotten drunk, ended up at his hotel, and lost my virginity. I desperately hoped he could shed some light on what had happened.
Upon finishing my shower, I unlocked the bathroom door and found Jey sitting there, engrossed in his phone. It looked like he was busy texting someone, but that was his affair, not mine. As I stepped out of the bathroom, I could feel his gaze fixed on me, observing my every action.
"Good morning mama," Jey said.
"Good morning," I said while fixing my hair in the mirror.
"So about last night it was a one time thing," His words piqued my interest, prompting me to turn and face him.
"I gave you something so precious, and now you’re treating it like it was just a fleeting moment?" I anticipated this reaction, feeling the tension rise as I crossed my arms defensively.
"I knew this was going to happen you finna start catching feelings for me when I'm dealing with someone already, we were drunk and out of our minds" I just rolled my eyes at him, "I'm not going to catch feelings for you besides it was a one-time thing and it'll never happen again," I said as I turned my back on him not wanting to discuss the matter anymore.
I felt his footsteps approaching from behind, and suddenly, his arms encircled my waist. He nestled his neck against my shoulders, and together we gazed into the mirror, our eyes locking in a shared moment of connection.
"Look me and shawty are on and off at the moment it's very toxic relationship," Jey said.
"What does that have to do with me?"
"It’s clear that I took something significant from you, and I understand how some women can react intensely to such situations." When he made that comment, I couldn’t help but give him a stern look; I really didn’t appreciate being lumped in with those women who behave that way.
Don't label me as one of those women; I'm not about to lose my mind over some guy, okay? I retorted, which made him laugh. "Are you really sure? Because last night, I had you running from me mama," he teased. I couldn't help but remember that night, and it brought a warm feeling to my heart.
But I had to be confident, "Yes, I'm sure so what's your point here Jey?" I asked.
"Well I was thinking how about we form an attachment with each other? Like we be each other's sneaky links and post each other on our close friends with no strings attached," I wasn't comfortable with the thought of being a secret connection for someone, particularly when they are close friends with my older brother, Cody.
It took me a moment to consider, but honestly, it might not be such a bad idea. We could lead our lives independently, away from the spotlight, and respect each other's privacy. "So, if we decide to go ahead with this, what guidelines should we establish?"
"The rules are simple princess, we fuck around, don't catch feelings for each other and if one of us do then the attachment is over with and we can live our lives separately," Jey explained as I nodded my head.
I found myself consenting to the attachment as I felt his lips brush against my neck before he stepped back—what am I getting into? Glancing at my phone, I saw it was twelve-thirty, so I instructed Jey to take me to work, promising to text Liv to bring my car.
༊*·˚ Upon arriving at work after Jey dropped me off, I entered the building and spotted Nathan and the team engaged in lively conversation. As soon as they noticed me, their faces lit up with smiles. I waved back at them, and that’s when Nathan approached me.
"Girl, I saw your post last night and you looked so stunning," Nathan said.
"Thank you sir, yeah I saw your comment on my post," I said while sitting down in the chair.
"I did see Jey Uso commented under your post too in there anything goin on between the two of you?" He asked I just chuckled at him knowing how nosey he could be.
I kept quiet about it because we were just having fun and going about our separate lives. But when Nathan caught on, he gasped and knelt down to my level, giving me a knowing look. "Spill the tea, girl," he urged. That’s when I opened up about everything that happened last night with Jey, including the moment I lost my virginity to him, and the fact that he’s best friends with my brother Cody.
"Girrrrl, you're in a mess right now. Especially with him being on and off with his girl seems pretty toxic," he said.
"Yeah, but that's none of my business. Enough talking about that stuff what's the plans for today and tonight?" I asked.
Nathan started outlining the agenda for today and tonight. With a double photoshoot scheduled for yet another magazine cover, I was well aware that fatigue would set in later. I listened attentively to his plans, nodding along, until my attention was captured by someone entering with a stunning bouquet of roses.
I received them along with a card attached, and as I reached for it, I began to read the message.
'I bought you some roses and some other things for you at the crib I ask Liv for your address so be surprised to see some things there, hope you have good day mama' Love, Jey.
I couldn't help but smile at the note he left me. Is he really buying me gifts already? I know I shouldn't let myself get carried away, thinking this could lead to something more when, in reality, we're just having fun.
"Ouuuu Lover Boy sent you some flowers," Nathan teased.
"What the fuck ever Nathan c'mon let's get started," I said as he nodded his head telling Kenna the makeup artist to come over to do my makeup.
I asked for a vase to keep the flowers fresh, appreciating his thoughtful gesture. That's when I noticed Liv had sent me a text.
IMESSAGE 💬 Liv🌸: Why tf did Jey ask me for your address? Yana💗: he bought me a bouquet of roses at work and some other stuff at my house apparently Liv🌸: ouuu girl Mr Fatu spoiling the model Kiyana that kitty kat must got him hooked Yana💗: whatever it's not that serious anyways Liv🌸: wym? Yana💗: we are just fucking around he's dealing with somebody right now, he told me they're on and off atm 🙄 Liv🌸: that girl Jaida? Yana💗: that's her name? Liv🌸: yeah they been in a on and off relationship for a minute they're toxic as hell girl let me tell you Yana💗: I agree to this stupid attachment we have going on we are going to be each other's sneaky links but live our lives separately Liv🌸: what? Ouuu girl please be careful I don't want to beat somebody ass over you Yana💗: I'll be fine bestie don't worry imma just focus on myself and this fashion show this weekend Liv🌸: period as you should do you want me to drop off your car I'll just get a uber home? Yana💗: yeah that would be nice Liv🌸: kk girly I'll let you go then love you Yana💗: love you too.
I placed my phone down on the countertop while getting my hair and makeup done all I could think about was last night and how big his dick was it just stunned me a man like him packing all of that around.
I found myself intrigued, pondering what other surprises he might have in store for me. It baffled me why he would purchase gifts for me when our connection wasn't as deep as his with Jaida. The situation felt confusing, so I decided to set those thoughts aside and focus on my own worries and career instead.
During my photoshoot, I embraced the camera's flash as I struck various poses, particularly on the floor in my heels. This created the captivating illusion of me sitting in mid-air. As I was immersed in the moment, Nathan approached closely to capture a perfect shot of my face.
As I struck more poses for the camera, Nathan showered me with compliments that I truly cherished. His words made the experience even more enjoyable. Eventually, we paused our photo session, and Nathan approached me, excited to share the stunning shots he had captured. I was thrilled with the results! After browsing through the images, I selected my top two favorites before making my way back to the makeup chair.
I was just about to take action when I heard someone calling my name. Turning around, I spotted Liv approaching, and a smile instantly spread across my face at the sight of her.
As we embraced, she passed me my car keys. "You look amazing, but I have to run; my Uber just arrived. I'll text you later," Liv said, and I nodded, making my way to my makeup chair.
I settled into the chair, pulled out my phone, and started scrolling through my social media. Excitedly, I began sharing the pictures I had just captured.
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uceyjucey, biancabelairwwe, jonathanfatu, and others liked your post.
yanasworld: Ballerina on the runway😘 uceyjucey: You look so good mama yanaworld: @ uceyjucey thank you ❤️ biancabelairwwe: it's giving face girl fr fr yanasworld: @ biancabelairwwe appreciate it hon yaonlylivonce: my best friend eating yall tf up yanasworld: @ yaonlylivonce you're funny Liv 😭😭 jonathanfatu: @ uceyjucey what yall got goin' on uce? 👀 americannightmarecody: love it little sis ❤️ yanasworld: @ americannightmarecody thank you brother❤️
Read all the comments.
I observed that Jey's twin brother made a remark regarding the situation between me and his brother—talk about being overly curious! However, it didn't really faze me. I certainly didn't want to get tangled up in the drama surrounding his issues with Jaida right now. To be honest, I received a message from none other than Mr. Fatu himself.
IMESSAGE 💬 Big Papa😩: Hey mama Yana💗: What's up Jey Big Papa😩: damn no nicknames for me or nun? Yana💗: 🤨 we aren't in a relationship?? I mean I'm fine with you calling me nicknames Big Papa😩: aight aight you right but I had seen what you posted on your page and damn Yana💗: what? Big Papa😩: make me wanna come see yo' pretty ass at work Yana💗: whatever happened to living our lives separately? Big Papa😩: I can come see you later at yo' crib Yana💗: if I'm up because imma be hella busy today and tonight Big Papa😩: don't matter imma still pull up Yana💗: mhm whatever 🙄😭 Big Papa😩: you got jokes huh? Yana💗: hm wonder where I got them from 🤷🏽‍♀️ Big Papa😩: aight you'll be saying that now but when I come and bend that ass over ion wanna hear none of that Yana💗: blah blah blah Big Papa😩: you funny Mama but did you like the roses? Yana💗: ofccc I did they were pretty too thank you honestly Big Papa😩: ofc mama well imma let you go I'll see you later tonight? Yana💗: yeah Jey Big Papa😩: aight mama Yana💗: bye Jey
I had no idea what I was stepping into tonight with him, but I really hope it’s nothing too wild.
༊*·˚
JEY While my twin brother and I were at the gym, we were engaged in our usual workout routine. I was lying on the bench, and Jimmy was there to spot me as I started my bench press sets. In the midst of my sets, I heard Jimmy asking me a question.
"So what's goin' on with you and Kiyana?" Jimmy asked.
"Nothing isn't going on between me and her Uce," I said knowing how nosey my brother is he gave me that look as I rolled my eyes at him.
"We got something goin' on right now being each other's sneaky links after I fucked her last night did you know she was a virgin?" His face went into shock hearing that coming from my mouth.
"Dawg, you serious? You took her virginity? She's going to be crazy for real," I chuckled at him while placing the weight back on the mental bar that holds it together before sitting up.
"According to her she's not like them women who become crazy after taking their virginity," I said while drinking my bottle of water.
As he spoke, he casually mentioned, "You know that's Cody's little sister?" His words caught me off guard, and I could feel my expression shift in surprise. Kiyana was Cody's sister? Panic set in—what if he discovers what’s been happening between us? Why hadn’t she mentioned that her brother was my best friend?
"You're fucking with me right?" Jimmy shook his head folding his arms, "Nah, I'm not fucking with you that's his little sister you are messing around with right now are you doing this because you and Jaida are goin through it?" He asked.
"Nah, I'm not Kiyana know what it is with this attachment we have right now. And Jaida that's my little fling," I responded back while grabbing some dumbbells.
"But you're buying Kiyana things like she's your girl, you don't find that weird?" I shot him a glance that clearly said to back off and focus on his own routine, even as he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender while we continued our workout side by side.
Purchasing gifts for Kiyana felt completely natural; she has that vibe of someone who enjoys being pampered, and that's exactly my intention—to indulge her. I just hope she doesn't misinterpret my generosity as romantic interest, especially since my heart is already with Jaida.
Despite the challenges we were facing, my feelings for her remained strong; she was my everything. Kiyana is undeniably beautiful, and I appreciate that, but what transpired between us was merely a fleeting encounter. I believe in mutual feelings and don’t want our connection to feel unbalanced.
I learned that she secured tickets for us to her fashion show happening down the walkway this weekend. I was eager to see her in action, and it was clear that her best friend was incredibly supportive of her. Kiyana's passion for her career shines through, and her love for what she does is evident, especially in those stunning pictures she posted recently. They truly captivated me and made it hard to look away.
That's when I heard Jimmy say something again on the matter, "Aye man I'm just saying be careful dawg," he said.
" I can handle Kiyana and Jaida," I shot back hearing a chuckle coming from his lips. "Plus Kiyana is worried about her career she ain't worried about me," or so I thought.
After working out I had gotten a text from Jaida saying some crazy shit which made me sigh deeply.
IMESSAGE 💬 Babygirl💋: Who is this bitch yanasworld and why are you commenting on her post? Jey🖤: Why tf are you stalking my page? Babygirl💋: I ask you a question first nigga who tf is she? Jey🖤: She's just a friend baby I promise I can support my friend? Babygirl💋: well a friend don't comment sus ass shit on their friends page so you better chill out with that Jey🖤: aight baby but don't be stalking my fucking page Babygirl💋: I'm sorry baby you know I gotta be sure I'm the only one you wanna be with for real Jey🖤: you know that babygirl Babygirl💋: okay daddy I had it be sure are you busy tonight? Jey🖤: yeah I was going to hang out with the guys Babygirl💋: okay daddy when am I going to see you? Jey🖤: this weekend aight? Babygirl💋: good I get to see you Jey🖤: me too baby but I gotta go aight? Babygirl💋: okay bye daddy Jey🖤: bye baby.
Hearing her call me Daddy made me feel uncomfortable; it just didn’t sit well with me. In contrast, Kiyana had a soft-spoken demeanor, and her gentle voice was incredibly alluring. Every time she spoke, it ignited a spark within me.
I told Jaida I was hanging out with the guys tonight, but the truth is I'm actually going to be with Kiyana. I plan to spend quality time with Jaida this weekend before Kiyana's fashion show.
Like I said me and Kiyana were sneaky links nothing more that's all.
"You're a damn fool and a player Uce, you gonna end up hurting Kiyana she seems really sweet and chill as fuck, she don't need to be apart of that drama," Jimmy said.
"How? When we don't have no feelings for each other?" I questioned him.
"You don't know what she could be thinking right now she'll tell you she's fine and then run off and tell Liv what's she actually feeling I'm just saying don't hurt her dawg, you know how over protective Cody is," he said.
I hadn't considered it from that perspective before. Perhaps I should reach out to Liv to understand Kiyana's true feelings about everything. This way, I can avoid the burden of feeling guilty for potentially hurting her.
"Look, I'll talk to Liv about it," I said.
"Like she would tell you anything uce," I rolled my eyes at him.
༊*·˚
KIYANA After finishing my beach photoshoot tonight, I could feel the chill creeping into my feet and body while wearing that stunning golden sliver dress. As I lifted my dress to navigate away from the sand, I made my way toward the grassy area, seeking warmth and comfort.
As I slipped out of the dress, the crew assisted me, ensuring a smooth transition. I quickly changed into my previous outfit while simultaneously fixing my hair. In the midst of it all, I made sure to collect all my belongings, including my keys.
As I said my farewells to everyone, expressing my gratitude for their dedication, I climbed into my car. After inserting the keys and pressing the ignition button, I noticed a text from Jey, likely inquiring about my whereabouts. To set the mood, I turned on some tunes from my Apple Music playlist as I drove home.
I have to admit, I might have a little crush on him, but I plan to keep it to myself. The only person I’ll confide in about my true feelings regarding this whole sneaky link situation is Liv.
I was hesitant to entertain the idea of falling for a man entangled in a tumultuous on-and-off relationship with someone who seemed like a source of chaos. I simply couldn't afford to invite that kind of drama into my life at this moment.
I was hesitant to get caught up in a situation that would only leave me wanting more—something I've longed for: to have someone truly love me, to shower me with affection, and to share countless experiences together. Perhaps I had developed feelings for him, but I refuse to acknowledge that. Right now, my priority must be my career.
As I arrived home, I noticed his car parked in the driveway, likely waiting for my return. I slid my vehicle next to his, but he wasn't inside. After turning off the engine, I grabbed my keys and reached for my purse from the back seat.
He sat on my porch, absorbed in his phone, but looked up as I approached, my purse slung casually over my shoulder.
"Took you long enough mama," He said as I chuckled at him.
"C'mon boy so we can get inside of the house I'm cold," I said walking up towards the door jiggling my keys around for the house key.
I sensed his presence close behind me as he gently pushed my hair aside, planting a warm, lingering kiss on my neck that sent delightful shivers racing down my spine. In that moment, I turned the key and opened the door, caught in the thrill of the unexpected.
As we entered the house, I noticed him glancing around, taking in the surroundings. I slipped off my shoes and neatly placed them on the shoe rack before making my way upstairs to my bedroom, with him trailing closely behind me.
As I stepped through the door, I made my way to the bed, sinking into the luxurious, cool sheets. A wave of relief washed over me, reminding me of the comfort of being home.
"I like yo' bedroom mama it's cute,"
"Thank you I got all of the decorations myself suits my aesthetic you know," I replied while sitting up on the bed.
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He peeled off his shirt, revealing a beautifully inked body that exuded both strength and fragility. As he approached, he positioned himself between my legs, our faces mere inches apart, creating an electric tension in the air.
He planted a soft kiss on my lips as I responded to it feeling his hand slithering down my skirt began rubbing my folds before sticking two fingers inside of me making me jolt at his touch.
"J-Jey...Wait.." I moaned softly as he kissed me again.
"Your body know what she wants mama just give it to me I'll take good care of you princess," he whispered in my ear his voice was so deep and deadly with a sharp knife could cut through it.
We had a long nasty make out session as he continued to finger fuck me this man will be the death of me, my body failed me letting him take control of me as I laid down on my back having my legs spread apart for him and only him.
Our lips never left each other tugging on his brownish mullet yearning for more—are you a fucking idiot Kiyana? His fingers were hitting my g-spot so well all I could do was moan in his ear only for him to hear.
"Fuckkk Jey fuckk," I was losing myself at this point feeling his finger curled up inside of me pumping them deeper.
"Mhm, imma make yo' ass squirt tonight see how hooked you'll be afterwards," he muttered which threw me off what did he mean by that?
He seemed to be projecting that cliché notion onto me about being obsessed with a guy. That's not who I am at all. I'm simply a woman who found herself entangled in a complicated situation with a man who happens to be my brother's best friend.
But that didn't matter as I had my eyes rolling in my back of my head feeling that deep pit inside of my stomach creeping up on me again it felt like I had to piss myself.
Jey pumped his fingers faster hitting my g-spot causing me to grip onto the sheets tightly removing my lips from his gazing into his eyes while he watched me crumble underneath him. "Yeah, look at me when you about to squirt mama I can feel it coming, cute ass," the way he was talking me through just ignite something in me.
That's when my body went into shock never leaving his gaze, "fuckkkk oh my g-god...f-fuckk," I cried out as I felt my juices flowing out of me feeling tears streaming down my cheeks while my breathing was uneasy.
"Such a good girl for me, look at you making a mess for daddy all over the sheets," Jey praised me while placing a soft kiss on my temple.
He pulled his fingers out from me while removing his shorts that he had on seeing his big dick yet again leaving me stunned, he pulled me on the edge of the bed pulling up my shirt to expose my breast.
"What's my name mama?" He asked.
"J-Jey..." I managed to breathe out until I earned a slap on the thigh causing me to whine. "The other one I wanna hear yo' cute ass call me daddy,"
He pushed himself inside of me this time without a condom which was weird at first but I didn't care, I gasped for air feeling my legs shaking beneath him.
"D-daddy...shit...t-too big..." I earned a chuckle from him.
"You gon' be a good girl for me and take this big dick like a champ you hear me?" I nodded my head as he began slamming deep inside of my walls.
This was going to be a long night for us.
Sneaky Link
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uceyjucey, americannightmarecody, jonathanfatu, and others liked your post.
yanasworld: A Beauty In Disguise 💋 uceyjucey: god you're so breathtaking 😩😩 yanasworld: @ uceyjucey thank you 🖤 americannightmarecody: this color looks beautiful on you Yana 🫶🏼 yanasworld: @ americannightmarecody thank you brother always supporting me 🥹 jonathanfatu: @ uceyjucey don't let Jaida see this comment 👀👀 yaonlylivonce: omgggg bestie girl you look so good in that dress yanasworld: @ yaonlylivonce thanks bestie 💗
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americannightmarecody replied to your close friends: Kiyana is that my best friend Jey? biancabelairwwe replied to your close friend: ooop girl I didn't see nun 😭😭 yaonlylivonce replied to your close friends: girrrrl them flowers though trinity_fatu replied to your close friends: BITCH IS THAT MOOKIE?
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jonathanfatu replied to your close friends: dawg I hope Jaida ain't in yo' close friends samizayn replied to your close friends: who is this Jey? romanreigns replied to your close friends: this ain't Jaida who's this? americannightmarecody replied to your close friends: uce what's going on between you and my sister? trinity_fatu replied to your close friends: I can smell some drama coming MontezFordWWE replied to your close friends: new shawty???
A/n: Jimmy is tryna tell Jey not to hurt Kiyana with all of this since Kiyana is the type that just stay in her lane and mind her business and not deal with the drama but this might change when she's really trying to focus on her career.
But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.
STAY UCEY.
1.
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beeholyshit · 11 months ago
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
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antiadvil · 18 days ago
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phannies: it's so sweet how phil was wearing the wad hat in the hospital 🥺 he needed something to remind himself of dan. it must have brought him so much comfort in such a scary time phil, probably: dan bring the migraine hat the fluorescent lights in here are fucking killing me and i want to go on tiktok
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marigraphia · 2 months ago
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I've had this pose ref saved for a while and the Superman set photos just gave off the same energy 👉🏻👈🏻
The reference is this photo of Katharine Hepburn as Antiope and Colin Keith-Johnston as Theseus in the 1932 play 'The Warrior's Husband' (and I'd love for people to turn into a draw your otp meme pls pls pls this pose is so good)
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And also, of course, the Superman (2025) set photos
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#superfamilyweek#superman#dcu#clois#lois lane#clark kent#i was actually gonna post this a few days ago but then i found out about the superfamily week#it wasn't made for it but i hope you can accept this humble offering even if it doesn't really fit the prompts#art#digital#fanart#live-action#dc#regular#final#colour#this actually from june when the set photos came out and i just got completely obsessed and went into a clois haze#it all looks so good though!! the whole thing!!!! i'm vibrating with excitement just thinking about it!!!!!!!#if this film isn't good i'm gonna be sooo disappointed you guys have no idea how much i'm looking forward to it#but anyway. ART RAMBLES: as i mentioned on the tags of my last drawing this piece gave me SUCH a headache#i think it's probably cos it was just supposed to be a quick sketch so i used a more stable pencil brush#but then i really liked it so i decided to properly colour it instead of just doing the watercolour thing i usually do for sketches#but with finished pieces i like the lineart to be kinda messy and the sketch to even show through bit#and since i used the more stable brush for the sketch it ended up looking WAY too clean. not like my stuff at all.#so i just started throwing stuff at the wall to see what could make it more interesting. full background! actual lineart! texture layers!#and this here is what i was the happiest with. i don't... love it though. it should be looking way more interesting given the pose#and then i also did the purge girl halfway through this and it looked SO good right out of the bat (pun intended)#so i went a bit into a spiral. did some realistic stuff i'll post soon. and now am trying out a thick black lineart style.#(i'll definitely still use the coloured lines for the sketchy watercolour stuff though. it just looks way too cute)
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windcarvedlyre · 1 month ago
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I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.
In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.
But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.
The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:
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The actual perpetrator.
We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.
And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.
Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.
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For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.
It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:
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But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.
He died afraid.
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If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.
Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.
The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.
#danganronpa#dr analysis#komaedology#komaeda#.txt#sorry @ non komaedaheads for making it about komaeda again LMAO#that was not the intention initially he's just... a really good exploration of this#and i think about his expressions in that comic vs his corpse and what we retroactively knew he was dealing with a lot#btw don't send spoilers to falter please!! i'm @ing to credit them- this was a discussion not solely my ideas- but they are not done yet#and aren't reading this post until they're caught up for obvious reasons#this came from discussing ch2 since the incomplete picture people voted with nearly killed them#(btw don't @ me about komaeda's description in the second-last paragraph being an oversimplification; i know :p )#(he has nuance- especially outside of the killing game- but i'm just focusing on the thematically relevant broad strokes here)#(eg. i feel like he demonstrates empathy sometimes but kodaka has said that lack of ability to empathise/be empathised with#is a theme for him- and the ways he's been proactive in the killing game consistently lacked regard for others' feelings/individuality#reducing them to interchangeable Ultimates(TM) instead. it's partly why he self-destructed while everyone else#was able to forgive themself and keep moving forwards imo. your worth being defined rigidly by objective contributions to society#does not mesh well with the idea of rehabilitating people who've destroyed the world before they could even start to improve it#and even if he did give them a chance at surviving he still succumbed to his own ideology in the end#killed himself for 'hope' and to be 'important' like he 'wanted' but died terrified and in pain and alone instead of fulfilled#man i wish 2.5's ending/postnwp canon in general dug into that ;-; )#ANYWAY ty for reading all that. i feel like i rambled a lot in this one. i have a headache now ghdkjsfgdsf
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party2000 · 1 month ago
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you know what else came out in 2015? carly rae jepsen's smash hit album emotion
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crimeronan · 7 months ago
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Hunter is eight years old the first time the Emperor puts things plainly.
But he's understood the situation for a while, so it's actually kind of a relief when Belos takes him aside.
"This curse is... difficult," the Emperor tells him, which is not news. One of his hands grips Hunter's shoulder, the other tipping his chin up, because he's so much taller and he needs to be sure that Hunter is paying attention.
"Luz doesn't always understand the danger she's in," Belos adds, which is an understatement. "Her human body is much more fragile than your own. This place wasn't built for creatures like her."
"I know," Hunter says.
The grip on his shoulder tightens, painful. "You know?"
He could kick himself. It's not the first time he's spoken out of turn; the consequences tend to be more pronounced for him than they ever are for Luz.
But now he's being asked a direct question, so he says, "I know she's fragile. She's -- she -- she doesn't mean to aggravate you, Uncle. Please-"
"And yet," Belos says lightly, "I do so frequently find myself aggravated."
Hunter falls silent.
His worst fear is that his clumsy words might get Luz hurt. So he's surprised when the Emperor drops to a knee to level with him, something he can't remember Belos ever doing before.
"I'm worried sick about her, Hunter," he murmurs. "All it takes is one bad day, and then -- well."
"Maybe she can stay away," Hunter suggests, "on your bad days, maybe she can-"
"Hush."
Hunter shuts up. Again.
"Do you really think any of the witches here can be trusted to care for her properly?" Belos asks.
Hard to say. There's clearly a right answer, though, so Hunter shakes his head.
"Of course not. No, I won't have my daughter locked away from me. But I do worry. One of these days, if I'm aggravated, the curse may drive me to do something... terrible. It would break my heart to see her suffer."
I know. Hunter manages to hold his tongue this time, but he does know. He's known from the moment that Belos took Luz under his wing. Whenever he can shadow them, he does. Luz never minds; she always likes the extra company. She doesn't know how often he's sick with fear.
"Do it to me," Hunter says. "If you... if you need to... if she makes you angry, then do it to me."
The grip on his shoulder relaxes. It's impossible to read Belos past the mask, but he doesn't seem upset.
"That's quite a sacrifice," he says.
"I can take it. She can't."
Belos nods, humming. "I suppose that does work as a solution. Thank you, Hunter. I'm so glad I can rely on you."
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pagesofkenna · 16 days ago
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what if i just completely threw out 60% of the existing plot concept for the novel i'm already writing the second draft of
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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months ago
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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dawnthefluffyduck · 1 year ago
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hey that's not supposed to be out there (uploaded wrong version at first haha whoops)
#not supposed to be that color either#i wonder who that belongs to#i had a very vague meaning for this in mind but saying it would spoil the fun#christ this took me forever#i wanted to do a quick project to give myself a break from my final#but accidentally made an entirely new kind of nightmare#BUT i can proudly say that i am very proud of this despite how long it took me#alrighty this blog is all about tracking progress so my thought on this;#it's not really as energetic as i had hoped to make it so i think that's the biggest technical issue i have with this#i'll try to get back to doing more gestures soon as a way to help with that#i think my shadows are a bit confusing too#i'm looking at it now and his glasses kinda taper off into the void of his fur bc i didnt mark the shadow along the left of his ear#but the thought of digging back through layers to fix it and blending that mess in is giving me a headache so i'm content with leaving it#i think i learned a lot about light and reflections though#my shadows aren't the greatest but i had so much fun rendering the glasses#and the glow of the soul pushed me to think about bounce light a lot more#figuring out how to make the colors look like they were glowing was a whole separate issue#i did it in the last big ralsei drawing i did but not nearly to this extent#i won't be doing something this large for a while after this but i'll keep trying to work on the things i didn't like about this#i think i'm gonna start putting my self-crit in the tags from now on#it really does bulk up the posts and it's hard to scroll past#i like reflecting on my work like this though#i've been able to draw a lot more since i've started doing it because it helps me create specific goals for myself#lets me keep pushing myself while still having fun with my art#ralsei#deltarune#deltarune fanart
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torgawl · 1 year ago
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i keep thinking about how “is this what justice means to you, answer me neuvillette”, despite having been used in a case all those hundred of years ago, was probably a question that haunted - and still haunts - neuvilette during the entire time he has been chief of justice. i keep thinking about how they highlighted his struggles through time with both carole and wriothesley's trials. how guilty and powerless neuvillette must have felt for not being able to support and save those he recognised as vulnerable and victims before a system that corrupted their fates but that he wasn't able to change despite his position. the theme of being a casualty of a system no matter if you're the victim or the perpetrator in its eyes. the way neuvillette took, in both cases, things into his own hands. even if it was too late to fix the hurting carole and those who cared for her went through, even if it was too late to save her life; even if it was impossible to change wriothesley's past, his verdict and subsequent imprisonment; neuvillette went above and beyond, making use of his influence, to allow both melusines and wriothesley the opportunity of a better future - to melusines by making sure they weren't discriminated, to wriothesley by supporting his attempt at a second chance in life. i think part of the reason he's so intriguing is our awareness that this internal conflict he's bound to have is so complex. you have a chief of justice, or a judge, that is supposed to be imparcial and follow the law stictly confronted with situations of social injustice, unable to protect those who rely on him. you have someone who understands better than anyone what it means to be an outcast, being able to relate to those who are ostracised and have their pain weaponise against them. you have, in vautrin's case, a friend who cannot even showcase his own pain and is still expected to fullfil his juridical duties despite being personally related with those involved in the case. someone who people constantly turn to but whom he feels like he has no right to turn to himself. it's about the conflict between his feelings and his duty, between what's expected of him and what he can actually do. i think that's why the end of his story quest is so emotional and why it's so heartwarming to have him realise he isn't an outcast anymore, that he has a community there for him too. because a system is a system and he will probably never be able to save everyone, because yes he isn't human, but it doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to belong or that an active demonstration of love towards individuals and people he can relate to rather than the theoretical concept of humanity isn't meaningful. in fact, i'd it's a lot about that, about finding ways to be kind and how community gives meaning to life; how personal relationships and targeted kindness can shape society, or at least i think so
#i don't know if this makes sense but i like how character's stories in fontaine are interconnected in the perfect way that they're used to#give depth to each other while also existing perfectly independently#i forgot to add navia's story to the post but that's also another scenario used to characterise neuvillette#the same way wriothesley's backstory exists independently but it's also used to give depth into neuvillette's character and his motivations#the same way navia and clorinde's probably will as well#i always headcanoned (is that a verb 😂) neuvillette and wrio's friendship stemming from neuvillette trying to atone to his silence during#wrio's trial. i think it makes sense. i think it probably meant a lot to wrio too to have someone be so trustworthy after everything he#went through the betrayal from his adoptive family and his only aid through his life being the melusines who aren't human#and neuvillette being that sort of comforting older figure especially probably feels familiar to wrio#i have no idea what i'm trying to say actually i have a big headache at the moment and i feel almost delirious but i just love the concept#of neuvillette as a character and i think a lot about his friendship with wriothesley how it began and the grief and guilt neuvillette#probably still carries#but also about how he also gets the chance to a brighter future and how he achieves it so naturally without even realising#how he never expected anything from his compassion even if he saw it as duty and didn't interpret his own kindness as anything other than#his own responsabilty towards others#like idk am i making sense???#he's just so cool 😂#like yeah there's a layer of there's no reason he would have any animotisity towards humans because they're not at fault for the primordial#one's actions but from that to actually actively being so empathetic and compassionate goes a bit of a long way?!#okay i'm over i'll shut up this is probably si confusing i apologise if anyone read this mess shsjhs#this is also influenced by my tbk brainrot because loving others actively is a big theme and i just think that's beautiful actually#genshin thoughts#genshin impact#my post
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ourceliumnetwork · 2 months ago
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Well, once again running into trauma my parents gave me (unfortunately it's most of it) because the Cat That Uncontrollably Eats Plants got in my room to eat the single plant that is in there and got a good chunk of leaf. now he's in Observation and I'm dealing with the actual adrenaline issues instead of the adrenaline dumps i was getting (apparently. learned about what those are today and that explains A LOT ACTUALLY.)
Turns out getting run over by the dog who is at minimum half your size when you're like 6 or 7 and then getting told it's your fault she got out and ran off when there was nothing you could have done to stop her even if you'd known she was going to do that, and being yelled at and told to chase her down on your own is a lot for a small child. The fact that I was on dog catcher duty even when it wasn't "my fault" they got out over the years ever since probably also didn't help.
(quotes on "my fault" to emphasize i'm trying to reframe this at least somewhat in my head as of Right The Fuck Now because this is unhealthy. this is an unhealthy way to live and it will not help any cats in times of crises if my first reaction is to immediately punish myself instead of getting help and also i'm allowed to get help even if I do mess up and it is my fault but this time it super isn't and neither were any of the other times because i wasn't negligent or unobservant i was a child and also the dogs were untrained and also Solaire the cat is a menace who will find plants you didn't even know you had to eat)
#so my wheelchair is coming with me tonight to festivities and that's that#i had been playing with the idea that i would tough it out without but honestly i'll feel better if that's where i get to sit and i don't#have to worry about accidentally taking up someone else's chair#oh shit uhh yeah#this post brought to you by#the very tentative attempt at decorating that left it so my door didn't latch shut behind me while i went to take a shit#and i was gone long enough for an opportunist to shoot his shot and eat the tip off a leaf of Chester the Croton Plant Chreeto#hopefully Agatha was unharmed (she's the spider that lives on Chester's pot)#i decorated chester and that little BASTARD MAN BABY BOY REMORSELESS CRIMINAL moved my decoration out of place#to get at the plant better - it wasn't even in the *way*#i know Chester's supposed to be in dormancy and i was gonna let him get droopy enough to start loosening up his leaves to take off a couple#damaged ones anyway but now i feel bad and the only way i know how to make it up to plans is to give them more water#but he's supposed to be resting so i'm trying to let the guy rest for the winter#hhhhhhhhhhh#okay. i'm. getting a headache from the panic and crying and now i get to go through the cortisol crash i guess fun times fun times i love#i love my POTS flaring up during this time too this has been super fun it's been like a week of nonsense but at least my back doesn't hurt#as bad anymore#i think the amitryptaline (sp?) is at least taking the edge off of the pain so i can function on just the NSAIDs and tylenol#(i got those n-saids and tylenol - got that good something something something rest of the song)
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