#I'm guessing most of the younger people came from twitter???

[artemismatchalatte]

https://picrew.me/image_maker/626197

[ofmermaidstories]

Hii Merms, thank you so much for the kind response 💌🩷

It's been days and I honestly did not get the chance to read the official chapter yet. Which I believe I should do before responding even, because the issue with the leaks was the mistranslations here and there. And because so much of it was also open-ended many fans came up with stuff out of nowhere and pushed it into the ending and called it canon. So it was a mess.

It's weird to me, it felt like Horikoshi forced himself into an ending that would satisfy everyone else and not him, which ultimately resulted in him messing up a bit. Because he put such great great effort and thought into sympathising with the villains and what they story means for how hero society operates. And he kept on showing how flawed the society is until ch.429, the before last.

In the end, like u said, traditional hero rankings are still a thing. Some people have changed yes, like the old lady who ignored Tenko but reached out her hand to another version of him, that could have been like him. But the last chapter also shows that the majority, or at least a huge part of society, is still sticking to the old ways of thinking. (Like the guy mocking Dai for his quirk, how being a hero is somehow more of a thingfor "elte people").

And while Uravity began a project for quirk counselling that's now fundamental for society and Tentacole fought against racism. It seems everyone else continues on to be normal pros. And there is no shame in that, but idk, the fact you all took part in wars that occurred because of how society and hero society operates but continue to do the same thing your predecessors did is asking for another League of villains, another group of children and young who would be pushed to that. But maybe I'm jumping to conclusions since we barely got to see any of what the new pros (like Mirio) are doing.

Also goodness, the mistranslation that class A did not see Izuku after graduation and people so QUICKLY believed it and spread it around. I saw alot of post both on twitter and tiktok shaming class A for it.

My dear "we don't fact-check leaks even though it's a very common occurrence that mistranslations happen" people, are we really talking about the same class A? The same class A, that collectively as a class, decided to join Izuku back in his vigilante arc to help him? They were willing to go out and be vigilantes with him. But then Nezu assured them they can bring him back instead so he could rest and be protected all the same.

THAT SAME CLASS A? Who knew what OFA means and all it's connections, the way he was quirkless and got it. and the only thing they(Oijiro) asked was how does it feel like? They never made him feel weirded out about it. (It might not seem like a big deal, but when you look at the public reaction to it, like "isn't that AFO's ability tho" or "he's like a Nomu" u would see).

So also yeah, I'm so so happy about the fact they all contributed funds to his suit. But prior to that he was a teacher for what, 5 to 6 years? While I do think being a teacher suits him. Keeping him in the dark about getting a chance to be a hero again JUST as he seemed to accept he can be a hero by teaching and inspiring younger generations seemed a bit off to me. But then again, I wanted him to be able to grow and continue to be a hero so I guess I can't complain much about it.

Overall I'm actually happy and sad it ended, this show was with me for 6 years. And it's my most cherished so I don't want to say goodbye (we still have a movie and the anime, so exciting). Even if that small disappointment is still lingering.

Hii Liliii. 🌷 How are you feeling about it now that we’ve had a little bit more distance? Have you read the official chapter yet? I dunno if it makes that much of a difference, but it did for me LOL. I don’t read the scanlations (they’re UGLY 😡) but I do think that like, seeing the dialogue in action verses hearing a brief summary from a rushed translator does matter. And that was the case for me!! Whenever the fandom took the leaks and then like, ran wild with them, it always… idk! I won’t say it ruined things, really, but it definitely made things less fun, and for me personally it had a lot to do with how quickly the discussion goes from, “oh, the leaks are suggesting (thing happens)” to, “omg, this is cold hard fact and now 50k people agree”. For example: the other day I saw a post here, made in the wake of the leaks, that said something like, “oh i can’t believe kacchan singlehandedly funded deku’s suit” and like??? no the fuck he did not!!!! LOL. I guess it’s just a lethal combo of like, overzealous fans taking what they want from the leaks without taking the time to tell themselves hold up and wait, and then making it everyone else’s problem too. 💀 Overwhelmed by the siren song of instant gratification.

Having re-read the last couple of chapters, tho, I don’t think Hori wrote himself into a corner! There’s definitely a disconnect, though, between us as an audience, and Hori as the author—like we’re kinda on different wavelengths? Because he’s shown what kind of writer he is (with the way he’s answered questions in like, interviews and stuff, he kinda actually reminds me of that Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. “The most interesting writing is that which does not quite satisfy the reader. Try and leave a little thinking for him; that will be better for both […] A little guessing does him no harm, so I would assist him with no connections.” emphasis mine). For better or for worse, Horikoshi just does not care/think to dwell in the big moments/emotional beats he creates, and I think that throws most of us as readers off, LOL. Like… we want to be more in Deku’s head, we maybe wanna see more of the kids in their final years at UA, or starting out as Pros, or like, linger with Deku a bit more in a school day. But Hori doesn’t wanna give us that. And I think that’s where everyone is getting their wires crossed—we want one thing (or several lmao) and Hori… wants and does another, LOL.

(The middle part of that Emerson quote above says, “The trouble with most writers is, they spread too thin. The reader is as quick as they; has got there before, and is ready and waiting […] If you can see how the harness fits, he can. But make sure that you see it.” And to me that’s the problem, we as readers have jumped ahead of Hori and have landed at a place we expect him to arrive, and instead he zigs in the complete opposite direction LMAOOOO. whether or not it works issss. Up for debate lmaooo. Are we seeing where the harness would fit, where he’s seeing a collar? Some food for thought maybe.)

One opinion I’ve seen in the wake of these last few chapters is that Hori often gets his messaging confuddled; I’m not sure if I agree or not. I think it’s another case of harness vs. collar lmao, like maybe we as readers are taking away different conclusions to what he’s intended (he’s sticking to his message; we just don’t like how he’s telling it LMAO). But it is stark, when you lay it out. Anyone can be a hero—as long as they have pro hero friends funding an Iron Man suit for them lmaooo (anyone can be a hero, but they need a community of people willing to hold out a hand for them to get there). Society is fundamentally selfish and overlooks uncomfortable things, and that breeds resentment and hate (society is capable of change, it’s just a slow crawl to get there, and that maybe we can’t help everyone—but the point is that we should help the people right in front of us).

I guess the biggest example, though, is indeed the League; I’ve seen soooo many heartbroken people point out that Hori spent all that effort—an entire POV arc!—on showcasing the villains, and getting us to sympathise with them, and what-was-the-point-of-it-if-he-was-just-going-to-kill-most-of-them-off? But they were always doomed. Doomed by the narrative, doomed by their society. It’s what makes them a tragedy. The tragedy of their tragedy is that Hori’s preferences with his storytelling (or his weakspots, depending) doesn’t really stop to give people the catharsis of like, a big goodbye. 🥺

(This is off-topic, but every time time I see that phrase—doomed by the [whatever]—it makes me think of a quote from one of my favourite books, Picnic at Hanging Rock:

“Edith echoed, ‘Doomed? What’s that mean, Irma?’

‘Doomed to die, of course! Like the boy who “stood on the burning deck, whence all but he had fled, tra… la la…” I forget the rest of it.’”)

Hori’s ending really wants to leave us/let us believe that like, our Heroes have solved the biggest problems their predecessors faced, and now they’re like, a glorified search and rescue—but I think the fun of the ending is that it does leave room for new villains, new League-type deals, to pop up. 😈 People are good and bad. There’s always going to be someone who wants to lock a kid in a basement, lmao, the point is that someone will be there to help them out of it. And maybe it’s baby steps at the moment, but the takeaway I got from the story was less about fixing everything forever, and more like, putting systems in place so that you and others—heroes and civvies alike—can catch what you can, when you can. 🥺 Deku might miss League 2.0, but maybe Kota or Stitches at the end there won’t. Our Heroes have turned the tide. They’ve reminded people at large to do their best. 🥹 They’re actively teaching them to do their best.

Which is why it drives me bonkers when the fandom likes to like…. discount Class-A’s bond!!! At it’s worse though—throughout that awful gap where all we had were the leaks—I just had to keep telling myself that the, “Izuku was abandoned by his friends!” stuff was a product of this fandom being an average age of like, twelve. 💀 LOL. But also it’s just—idk! A result of shipping culture, maybe. The inability to understand that people can and do have meaningful relationships outside of people they have sex with. 💀 That it’s possible for a whole class of kids who went through a war together to care for each other and still be busy with saving the world, outside of school. 💀💀

I’m happy and sad it ended, too. 🥺 A lot of complaints I’ve seen are valid—and have made me realise that the thing that threw me, personally, was how passive an ending it is (like how things just happen to Izuku, aka him being given the suit as a surprise and not being apart of it). I’d like to reread the series, back to back, and see how it flows! Maybe when the anime comes along and fills in some of those gaps where Hori couldn’t/didn’t want to, it’ll feel more… apt. 🥹 And I hope that by the time the anime ends, Lili, you feel a little more fulfilled by it. 🥺🌷

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/731116367047229440

I'm not transmasc but a huuuuuuge number of the transmascs who are antis that I've seen are newly out, and I've long thought that there's kind of a phase most people go through coming out for the first time (as any kind of LGBTQ+, not just trans - I was like this when I first came out as bi in college and then had a mini version of it again when I came out a second time as a lesbian) where they make their identity about that, and also feel like everything around them is persecuting them relative to that identity and therefore are extremely susceptible to discourse that plays into that. I'm going to guess that given the age demographics of a lot of Tumblr and Twitter and TikTok fandom and even more so, the fact that a lot of especially gay trans men come from M/M shipping communities - and if they're newly out and especially not out offline, that's even more likely to be their primary queer community - that a lot of the transmasc antis that they're seeing are in that phase. And there's sooooo much anti discourse that seems designed to appeal to young gay transmascs who need someone within reach to lash out to when they're (rightfully) frustrated at the transphobia and homophobia they experience from the larger world: the discourse that all M/M written by women, or written by straight women, or whatever, is inherently fetishizing and homophobic; the idea that "cisswaps" (making a M/M couple F/F or F/M without making them trans, or vice versa) is transphobic (I don't quite understand this one but I have seen it and had it lodged against me for writing the first thing; people, why would you want my cis ass that just so happens to have only been with other cis women to be writing trans lesbian sex? I love reading it from other people but I am just not the best person to write this, I don't have that experience), the idea that if you're writing mpreg and it doesn't involve the preg one being trans then you're transphobic. There's also probably some genuine frustration with how woman-centric a lot of fandom is, and desire to shed the identity of woman that they used to occupy, idk, a trans person could speak to that better than I could.

Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying that I think that meeting more transmascs who are older and who have been in fandom longer will mean you'll meet fewer antis. Every anti transmasc I've met has been under 25, and usually the more anti, the younger they are. Every transmasc person I've met in fandom who is older than that is cool.

Also, there's nothing wrong with the newly-out "sky is falling" phase, we all go through it, but it's worth keeping in perspective and it's also worth if you're encountering someone currently in the throes of that, to keep them and what they say in perspective. It's like discovering anything new about yourself, you're making up for lost time and eventually you're going to calm down a bit about it. Especially keep this in perspective when evaluating statements about the LGBTQ+ community or LGBTQ+ history etc. from people currently in that phase, LOL

--

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Another Sonic twitter thread thing I saw but it's random questions this time

There's nothing I love more than talking about Sonic the Hedgehog after all.

I got into Sonic because when I was too young to even remember anything in any detail my family had a Mega Drive with Sonic 1-3, and I mean I played them a lot. I don't think I could tell you my thoughts on it then though because I was like pre-toddler age lol. Probably thought it was the coolest shit ever. As opposed to today where I still think that but like I'm way more autistic about it.

Quotes and themes are different things and I also don't know if by theme they mean music or like thematic shit so uhhh. Uncertainty of intention means I'll relegate myself to just quote, which is hard - in a series with so many iconic lines how do you pick just one? But I do think "what you see is what you get - just a guy that loves adventure!" as well as "do I need a reason to want to help out a friend?" are both very good lines that portray Sonic himself very very nicely. I'll go with those. Not strictly a final answer and I could probably make a whole post on just this question, but we'll leave it on the two mentioned.

Out-of-game I think Yuji Uekawa's adventure era artwork is my favourite, I think for in-game art styles I'm between Unleashed, Colours, and Mania.

I'll keep it simple just make him and Mario have a fucking platformer crossover or even like an RPG or something, anything that's not the Olympics.

You know my answer was very easily Live and Learn until Sonic Frontiers came out lol. Now it's Find Your Flame quite handily. Shit fucks harder than god.

A couple different pieces of Sonic media have entertained the idea of Silver attaining some sort of like heightened state of power, like ESP Silver from Runners and I think he's in Speed Simulator too - I'm curious about how far along he goes with that. A much younger Josh who cared marginally more about power scaling was interested in the idea of Silver becoming the strongest character in the series even. I think there was an animation in the Lythero Silver Campaign video (I've been meaning to watch this but that's neither here nor there) showing base Silver fighting Super Sonic. I'm kind of interested in that. How far does base Silver go if he's that aforementioned ESP Silver or whatever. Can he thoroughly whoop the likes of Knuckles or Blaze eventually? Perhaps even Shadow or Sonic? We're going with roughly that.

Of the 4 listed here I'd certainly say the OVA, it's just by far my favourite. SatAM has some props for its fandom significance but I find it boring, X has some props for being the most game-faithful but it's kind of crap, OVA is just dope. Even extending it to what's come out since I'd still stick with the OVA.

I used to be able to reliably name a decent amount of Sonic fanartists but unfortunately my mind has consistently blanked on that front recently. Official as a qualification lets me get away with saying Yuji Uekawa though so we'll stick to that. Jack Lawrence's IDW art is also really nice, particularly in Scrapnik Island.

I don't like blue shoes Tails at all lol. Like I think the argument amongst people that do like it is it makes him and Sonic compliment each other better but Sonic lacks orange on his colour palette so I just don't agree at all. Giving them the shared red is a lot more effective.

For least favourite I could point to various points in Archie's history as well as Prime pretty confidently, and stretching it the likes of Chronicles and Underground and stuff but I'd need to play more of them. Favourite I've got the very simple storybook games and Unleashed answer, we've seen it all before, although Frontiers has a pretty great Sonic too.

I don't want to skip any out of principal but also just so particularly don't care for Sonic ships that I've kinda got nothing here. I guess gun to my head I like Sonic and Knuckles' dynamic a lot but I don't need that to go romantic or anything so like, you know?

I just want multiple playable characters from the get-go and all of them to be as fleshed out as Sonic is, really.

There's definitely a lot of little things I can say but definitely the main one for me is less busywork tasks around the island. Pressing switches or parrying items or running in a hamster wheel, a lot of that stuff doesn't really play to the strengths of the gameplay, and I'd like them to work to correct and improve upon that I suppose.

Like the entire Mania and SA2 and 06 and Unleashed soundtracks. We'll go Crisis City specifically.

I have a lot of opinions on the Sonic series and its representation in Smash and that could also be a post of its own honestly, but just taking the question by itself I want Eggman a ton.

"Limited to teams" is such a leading-question type approach to this, L. Anyway yeah no variety is good. I understand the desire to stick to the teams we know, and certainly I think it's important to get those core things down before making a game where Sonic, Charmy and Omega are a team - but yk the cast is so expansive that letting them bounce off of the more unique faces is fun.

They cooked.

"Mainline" is quite the distinction here - I'd love to see more spinoffs handed to other studios even just to have spinoffs coming out, but I think for mainline I like seeing how Sonic Team evolves and where they're taking the series. I can imagine other studios making good Sonic games certainly, but that mainline clarification leaves me wanting to say nah honestly.

I have a somewhat decent amount but I mean that doesn't lend itself well to this type of post. I still like my Sonic has some old shack on Christmas Island where he keeps random sentimental junk from his adventures though.

Unleashed so easily it's not even funny.

Comics and just external media in general being included actually widens the net a lot because Archie and IDW both have a ton of good stories (haven't sonic the comic'd yet sorry lol) and I adore the OVA too but once again I'd point to your storybook games, Unleashed in particular, as well as Adventure 2. The Sonic 2 into 3&K overarching narrative is also very effective despite how simple it is.

Not an artist rip. Idk though the muzzle or something feels good to draw and harder to fuck up than the quills or something.

Honestly I could think about this one for a while too, but I think the one that always comes to mind - and this isn't even so much a cherished memory as just a sort of unforgettable one that I always go back to and think is kind of cool - one day when I was a kid, my brother and I walked to our school that was less than 2 minutes away, at the door were told the school was closed that day because a thunderstorm the previous night had done some fuckery or whatever, and then we went home and had the day off. And the particular thing we did is play Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity for most of the day. We'd owned it for a while at that point but the Riders games are pretty complicated for children even when they're as streamlined as ZG was, so we never really knew how to play it and frequently came dead last against the CPUs. It was this day off school where we really grinded the fuck out of it and just, got good at the game. Won a ton of rings and bought new extreme gear with them and shit, it was just a really memorable day for whatever reason. It's maybe not the most special, but it's what comes to mind when I think of cool Sonic memories I have.

Anyway that's all lol.

[roomeight]

Graham Coxon Allegations: Part 1

(Masterpost)

This post is to serve as an archive of evidence known about Graham and his alleged predatory behavior with his young fans.

It's been almost a year since the allegations against Graham came out. However, it must be noted that they existed well before Britpop Abuse made an account on Instagram in Nov 2021. We have been Blur fans since 2004, I've been privvy to most of Graham's online presence during that time and friends with those who knew him during the early twitter days when he was much more public with his egregious behavior with fans.

The Mexican fans involved with Graham

I had a friend who was hurt by Graham. I haven't spoken to her in years and she doesn't talk about it. I witnessed it. It haunted me how cruel he was to her. He love bombed her, he wrote songs for her, I saw them flirt. We all knew he only replied to girls with attractive profile pics but we hoped it was just in our heads. This was early 2010's. Allegations came out shortly after from a close friend I trusted who was close to him that he was allegedly DMing girls "his daughter's age." She only told our friend group, that I'm aware of.

I didn't want to believe it at the time. But after seeing his behavior on twitter and hearing that allegation I had to take a break from the fandom for a couple of years.

When I came back, my old friends caught me up on everything that had happened. They said that something very bad had happened (vaguely) and Graham was giving his socials over to management or something. I saw G had announced he was having or had kids with Essy. I buried the allegations in the back of my mind, 100%. I admit that now. I didn't want to lose my fandom writing and so while I knew about Graham's behavior I assumed that he had settled down with Essy (esp because his twitter interaction with fans had vastly changed to being more appropriate).

In 2013, something went down because of three Mexican fans: Mirja, Michelle, and Scarlett. Many remember them as toxic and known for making up lies. They liked Gramon and roleplaying and reading fan fic. They told their friends that they were DMing & dating Graham & Damon and everyone thought they were crazy.

These are personal chats bpa didn't want me to post but I am because they need to be in order for people to see the dynamic between him and these girls much, much younger than him.

DMing young fans

Complaining about his family

Mirja and Michelle

There was jealousy - both Michelle & Scarlett liked Graham too, but he only loved Michelle. He said he would marry her if the age gap wouldn't look so bad. Graham would complain about his family to Michelle. He would get mad at Scarlett for being jealous of his and Michelle's relationship.

We also know that around this time Graham was not sober and was photographed drunk in public. He recently confirmed this in an interview that he was not sober until around 2016.

Mirja and Scarlett

Mirja and Scarlett still talk to Graham. In fact, they are the people who go to bat for him when the allegations happened. The video of the Hangouts chats that pissy.water posted as "proof the Google chats were fake" - that's Mirja's hand in the video the email shown in the "debunking" hangouts video is the same email she uses for her fandom roleplay account. All the "I have a source" pro-Graham people were talking to Mirja.

Here's a photo of Mirja with Graham on his birthday (?) without Essy or another time I guess 🤷‍♂️

Graham came back into Mirja's life right around the same time as Essy and G split and G flew back to London abandoning his kid and Essy in L.A. Mirja pathologically lies constantly. She's pretended to be multiple accounts now, even made up personas in her head to talk about her real self. She's a dangerous person who has spread a lot of misinformation about the allegations under alt accounts. As a scapegoat it's perfect, because if she ever said anything about Graham, fans would just call her crazy because of how she lies. She has no believability. It's the perfect situation for him. The joke of it all is this is terribly very real.

Mirja used to go by Mirja Lolita which is gross knowing what age they first started talking to G to say the least.

That's all I can fit here for now.

I would have hoped that at this point Mirja and Scarlett would realize how fucked up this all is. But I don't think they care. They care about the little bits of attention he gives them while he's not living his fake life. 30...ya'll should know better.

(PART TWO)

[croszukis]

talk hockey to me, tagged by @39oa ty!

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

in a really convoluted way that is a story for a different time i started listening to a sort of fandom leaning hockey podcast. i googled jeff skinner's name and went "oh", then saw gifs of burky and my himbo of the moment was selected.

i had to move back home (a place that's as not-hockey market in the us as you can think of..) for family reasons and my younger sister and i were spending a lot of time at home. i basically bullied her into watching nhl weird videos with me on tv and then we started watching games together. we followed the avs for the 19-20 season heavily!

covid season + other reasons made me stop paying attention for a while, but now i'm back. i'm very bad at being loyal (sorry) to any specific team and have my players i collect instead & am currently paying attention to my failsons (pens, habs and sabres)

2. Your first ever fandom friend

i was mostly on twitter for my hockey fandom activities, so shout out to my crop of friends from very far away on my phone from there! but i guess it was my sister, actually~

3. The jersey you would most like to own

a stars blackout jersey (aka the reason my layout is robo at all lol) i saw that hideous neon green and said "that's for me". OH and if i had exorberant amounts of money, a lunar new years speciality jersey. otherwise, i am not a jersey/merch purchaser no.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

at the moment? i'll say johnathan kovacevic lol

otherwise, sidcrosby isn't mine he's OURS

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

hmmm i'm either a rarepair (making these pairs up with one offhand mention and the power of imagination) or a certain powerhouse ship person, but i'll say the sabres and stars deserve more transformative fandom attention!

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

oh gosh i have a really bad memory when it comes to things like this (ask me to recall hockey off ice drama from three years ago tho? i got you) the first thing that came to mind was logan couture's girls just wanna have fun goal song reveal though. i love it.

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

oh gosh, there's so many fics i've read again again that i'm sure are fandom favorites that i really admire & i'm just a shy newbie

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

I have a project in the editing stage I'm hopefully going to share soon which will be my humble foray into the sidgeno fandom, but I like this sid/nick suzuki one shot that started my thinking about them and I'm enjoying writing/figuring out their dynamic more!

[dearweirdme]

Hi there! Thank you so much for the kind response to my lengthy ask earlier. You did not invalidate my feelings. Maybe this is all I need, someone to talk to. 😭 It's been really a tough couple of days for me, and I don't understand why. I'm confused mostly. I don't understand why I am so deeply invested and affected by this issue. Probably it's cause I woke up in the middle of the night, after only a roughly 4-hour sleep , to a chaotic twitter timeline! It was too much for me. I'm usually emotionally strong, but waking up to those videos and photos, taekookers denying it, taennies and jikookers celebrating, tae's biggest fanbases giving their all-out support without questioning the veracity of those videos and photos, and running high on hormones since I had my period back then, really got the best of me. lol. I was in denial at first, but, they looked too real to be just a mere rumor. Honestly though, I was still 10% waiting for the company and even Tae to deny it. lol. It's impossible, I know. I'm pretty certain that they won't react to it again, just like what they did last year. It's real now. We just have to live up to it. Whether it was a PR stunt, or it was Tae's idea to come out, guess we will never know. I'm coming to terms with it already. Still a little hurt coz damn! It's been a whole damn year that we've been trying to debunk those photos! lol

I know I don't have the right to feel betrayed since Tae is not responsible for how I feel, but I wish he came clean from the onset. It wasn't his responsibility to come clean, i know, but I wish, I dunno, I expected too much I guess. Guess majority of our heartaches comes from our own expectations. This is a lesson for me. I'm too attached to our boys, which I shouldn't be. I expend most of my waking moments with BTS for the past 5 years. Maybe it's time to lay low. It's affecting my personal life now. It's unhealthy. Also, what I feel is also because I've created this whole scenario of how BTS are. Guess we really don't know them after all. You are right, I need a social media break. It's messing with my head.

I'm sorry I'm ranting to you now. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My IRL friends wouldn't understand my feelings, and I'm so thankful that you were so kind and you understood exactly how I feel. In a 3rd person POV, what I'm going through now seems ridiculous, but I'm glad you understood me completely. My thoughts are a bit of a mess, so I'm just putting everything out here. Thank you for reading and responding so kindly. You don't know how much it helped me.

To the anon who said I was sltshming jennie, sorry it came off that way, but we see her videos and photos partying, so, in my own perspective, she's a bit carefree, wild, maybe that's what Tae's into. lol.

Again, thank you so much for this. Please let me camp in your inbox for a little bit more.

Hi again!

You are very welcome in my inbox, always. I understand completely how overwhelming things can be. When I was somewhat younger, I tended to get consumed by things also. I have done some deep diving into my own character and learned how to manage my emotions better. But I very well remember what it can feel like.

Fandom can be the source of great happiness, but also the source of great distress. Especcially when it comes to Army and BTS I feel. Both army and BTS pride themselves for having a strong connection. It is wonderfull really, but it can also be harmfull when something big happens. One of my personal favorite songs is Pied Piper (I mean come on, that one performance!) and I find the message of that song so strong and insightfull. It is at the same time any band or artists intention to lure in fans and to make them feel connected, but also that deep feeling of connection is what makes people cross mental, physical, or societal boundaries. I think it is something the members have struggled with a lot. And now, part of fandom is struggling a lot, because we feel connected to Tae and this is not what we expected of him.

I too was surprised by this. Did not see it coming at all. Fandom has been really tough (my inbox has only yesterday kind off stopped getting anonymous hate). People rile each other up, everyone want to be heard, everyone wants to get to the bottom of this. Uncertainty is a b*tch. Humans (and probably all living creatures) are not wired to deal with uncertainty. It's biologically speaking very logical. Safety is our basic instinct, and uncertainty goes against that. One might argue that this doesn't go for fandom situations, but to so many of us fandom is our safe place... so when something big like this happens, we feel less safe. Even if it doesn't logically make sense. You feel unsafe anon. You will start feeling safe again when you realise there is no actual danger.

Twitter is hot mess on any normal day, so on days like the last ones it completely unhinged. I only go there on occasion to see if there is any real news, but other than that... big nope. Too many people fighting for attention and a few seconds of social media fame. My safe place right now is Yoongi, I just love that man to pieces. So when I feel myself getting too caught up in things, I take myself away for a bit and settle down.

Know that most feelings are temporary. You will feel better in a week. Who knows what will happen next, might shift your whole perspective on this again.

Hope to hear from you again.

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

Rant regarding the whole gen z study thing and sex in media:

If you already know that the argument conservative and far right momevents most commonly use, is that everything remotely related to the LGBTQ community is inherently sexual, and therefore should not be around minors. Why, by that logic, would you start arguing that all sex representation in media is perverse, unnecessary, and should be eradicated? What do you think is going to end happening? What do you think is going to happen to diverse representation in media?

I'm gen z too, older gen z, and a lesbian; so I suppose that a lot of the younger generations may not know what it is like to grow up with your identity being considered a sexual topic, and therefore have 0 actual resources or representation about it outside adult content.

The only reason we're at the point LGBTQ kids can be it more openly, is because we

stopped sexualizing it, even if we're still working on it

started visibilizing LGBTQ relationships and people on media

started normalizing sex, and all that comes with it (dealing with misoginy, sex education, resources, etc)

Not saying that kids should go watch Euphoria or something; I'm just saying that when they reach the point when they start to think about their sexuality, there should be stuff available that isn't purely educational. You forget that for a lot people, series, games, movies, etc, are the only resource they have. I had to learn that I was a lesbian by watching the L world at 14. And I had to watch it on a pirated site at a friend's house. I didn't know lesbians were a thing that existed, I was a Mexican kid that came from working class with an homophobic mother.

Just a few weeks ago, my hometown canceled a drag story hour reading event at a book fair. Why? Because conservatives and far right weirdos consider everything related to the community to be a perverse sexual deviation, and that includes drag too, and argue that we should be at clubs, not around kids. None of the drag queens that were going to read had ever done an adult show at a club mind you. All of them focused their work on activism, so their presentations were at activism related events as masters of ceremony. They didn't care about that.

SheRa and the princesses of power is literally rated M18 in some countries, and 7+ in others. You can guess why. That's what we're going to end up with. Stop being naive and pretend that media with LGBTQ characters aren't going to be the most affected with this argument. Stop pretending that conservative weirdos aren't going to use you as cannon fodder on their censorship crusade, and that you're not giving it to them on a silver plate. Let's not forget how episodes from Steven Universe, a show with ZERO mention of sex, had episodes pulled in some countries just because of homophobia. If you put anything remotely related to sex under a 18+ classification, what do you thing is going to happen? Where will teenagers go when they want to know stuff? We're still dealing with a generation that went on p0rn sites instead of getting sexual education, and we know how that goes. You don't want that.

And ffs, those classifications exist for a reason. Learn about them, make parents learn about them. Our generation had kids watching awful stuff on the internet due to a lack of supervision and content awareness. The amount of kids that watched Squid Game in my country is absurd. I've seen game developers on Twitter complain about how platforms like Steam give their games a lower classification to sell more, and how they keep fighting for their games to be given the proper one. Change that, inform yourself, educate other people, hold companies accountable; don't watch a 18+ rated movie, and then complain that it has stuff that's not suited for kids. Be a better parent/caregiver/sibling/teacher/etc.

Part of the problem is that lot of other older gen z have unrealistic ideas of what content is oriented to teenagers, and what content teenagers actually want. They're mostly using Euphoria as an example. Euphoria is not a series oriented for teenagers, nor is it something they watch. Someone even mentioned Skins, and it ended up before a lot of the gen z even became teens.

Teenagers now are watching things like Hearstopper. The Heartstopper comic has a chapter where someone goes to buy condoms with their friends, since they spent multiple times considering having sex with their partner. It's a topic that is covered in multiple chapters and talks a lot about having safe sex, waiting for when you're ready, etc. That is such an IMPORTANT and NECESSARY topic for teenagers to about, that older generations never had the chance to see.

And if at this point your counterargument is "well, is not about the sex is about how it's portrayed, so Heartstopper is okay". Look at yourself at the mirror, and realize the fool you are by giving the conservatives tools; because you can't be bothered to actually analize and think about what you consume, and over generalize and simplify things. Actually speak about the real issue: mysoginy, romatization of sex violence, stereotypes, racist bias. THOSE are the real issue, no "the unnecessary sex". And as long as you don't point it out, those things will keep existing.

MORE IMPORTANTLY the study everyone is talking about is being BADLY misrepresented, and the results do not compose all the gen z population. Statistics aren't absolutes, and the study touches more topics than just sex in media. Mysoginy, racism, forced heterosexual plots, sexism, etc. Those topics where discussed. In a study that's focused on USA. You're over simplifying it. And a lot of you are just weaponizing it in a way that fits you.

I'm not surprised that a lot of you are also SWERFs, that tells me everything I need to know about your stance. I'm not gonna expand on why SWERFs are wrong, I'm not going to speak over sex workers, they have talked at length about how these things actually put them in danger. If you refuse to accept that fact, that's on you.

And last, and not least important: you need to evaluate your own relationship with sex and the ideas you have about adult content. I grew up in a catholic conservative country, I basically had to teach all my partners and friends about sex stuff, because the schools and their parents refused to do it. Among the worst things I heard was: "two girls doing it doesn't count as sex", "you can get pregnant via oral", "being bisexual is just a phase everyone grows out of", "having sex and it hurting is normal", "I don't know how the parts of my body are called". Those things were normalized because no one bothered to visibilize them. Those things were normalized because asking and knowing about it was seen as bad. But somehow soap operas with "steamy scenes" at dinner time was okay. I wish I had the chance to grow up with stuff like Heartstopper.

Y'all are being naive, privileged, and trashing years and decades of efforts to normalize sexuality. From the sex liberation movement (even slashers film were affected by this), to things like the slut march. Do not let yourself become weaponized by conservatives trying to censor us.

[tartlette1968]

I was going to make a long comment about something else.

But then this came up, again, this week.

I guess I'm not unique, I have an ambivalence towards "the Footy". But it's complicated. My Dad was an amazing man, and his whole life revolved around Aussie Rules Footy. The AFL was formed in the 90s, but the game has been in existence for... well frankly who knows exactly how long. Its roots lie in the Indigenous game, Marngrook. Some dispute this and that's only one of the problems.

My Dad would sit in front of the TV watching the game, and yell...

"Get in there, help him!!! You're playing like a girl... KICK IT!!!"

Well, you get the picture. His favourite phrase, however, was, "Weak as water."

He played the game, and knew as much about it as anyone would. He saw things on the screen that only someone who had good game instincts would see. He played the game for a long time, until he was 50, and then he became a boundary umpire. Because of this, I was always surrounded by footy players. They weren't overtly homophobic, but it wasn't an environment that screamed out a welcome to any player who was gay or bisexual. And this was a time when Footy was a "man's game".

When women started to do sports reporting, there was an atmosphere of resentment from the players. Constant attempts to embarrass the reporters out of the job with overt displays of naked genitals, aggressive incursions into personal space, exaggerated and incessant swearing, but it failed. Not least because most of the female reporters had grown up around football, and they were used to it.

Football players have always had a problem with homosexuality and bisexuality. Some of them were incredibly predatory, themselves, but what they feared was a fellow player preying on them. They feared being looked upon, feared being lusted after by one of their fellow players. In short, they feared that a team mate would treat them the way they treated the women they "fancied", or that a team mate would want to treat them that way.

But the sporting climate has changed rapidly since the turn of the century. Still, there have been less than a handful of players of any code who have publicly identified as gay in any of the male competitions, and no AFL players amongst them. It is also very likely that there are few same sex attracted players at all in the various AFL competitions around Australia, as the deeply entrenched homophobia likely drives people out of the game.

The most alarming thing is that there doesn't appear to be any intention to address this gross oversight.

There have been a number of AFL players who have taken a break from the game to work on their mental health. It is probable that some of these players have done so because of their sexuality, but it would be the absolute last thing they would admit.

The behaviour and attitudes of the spectators demands attention, too. Social Media posts about the AFL are peppered with racism and homophobia in their comments, in particular the platform formerly known as Twitter. Since Elon Musk has removed nearly every measure that was aimed at reducing abuse, it has worsened.

How long the AFL can maintain its popularity is difficult to say. If the issue is not addressed, the number of younger spectators, and players will decrease, as tolerance of homophobia, sexism, and racism is markedly lower in younger generations, and they will pass judgement with their feet.

Basically it's a case of shape up, or die.

[yunhoez]

Coincide

pairings: timeskip!suna rintaro x f!reader

genre: smut, FLUFF, tiny bit of angst like for 2 seconds, followed by more fluff

warnings: NSFW 18+, swearing, orgasm denial, public sex, breeding, "bunny", not proofread (its 3 am), I think that's it but pls let me know if I missed anything

a/n: this is really self indulgent, I had this thought in the shower and something about my trash ass ex seeing me happy with suna makes my brain go brrrrr. don't worry, I'm working on that in therapy :D anyways this is my first time writing smut, lol bye! hope y'all enjoy!!! <3

There’s no reason to attend a high school reunion with people you never liked nor thought of in years. Meaningless chatter mixed with the stench of beer, while the god awful fluorescent lights sting your eyes didn’t sound appealing to you. Yet here you are, standing against the wall of the poorly decorated banquet hall with a drink you’ve hardly touched. The “Welcome Class of 2017” banner in front of you, reminded you of just how little time has passed since you’ve seen these people. If it were up to you, you would’ve ignored the e-vite and binged a show you’ve seen 100 times already. However, your sweet boyfriend, Suna Rintaro, was so eager to see where you spent your teen years and the people who knew you way before he did. Not that they would have very many stories about you, considering how much you kept to yourself, but that didn’t stop Suna from RSVPing on your behalf.

“I fucking hate you.” you spat, taking a sip of your drink, wincing at the strength.

“I know.” suna smirked, handing you his beer and taking your drink for himself.

The both of you stood close together, watching people fein happiness at the sight of each other. What was the point in attending these events if not to show off how much better you’re doing to people who no longer matter to you, if they ever did that is. Suna nudged you lightly, motioning towards a group of people coming toward the two of you.

“Hey! I didn’t think you’d be here!”

“Yeah! Me neither!” you giggle, shooting a glare towards Suna who’s already grinning at you.

Suna knows you hate small talk, but something about seeing you perk up at the memories you’ve seemingly forgotten made him feel warm inside. Although you never wanted to admit it, you missed the people who made your teen years a little less terrible. Suna wrapped his arms around your waist, settling his chin onto your head, as the two of you listened to your friends reminisce about your antics.

“I’m telling you, this girl was in detention every single day!”

“Don’t act like you weren’t there with me!” you huffed, feeling Suna’s chest rumble with laughter. No one had ever taken much interest in your life, except for Suna. It was safe to say you had no idea how to react to his attentiveness when it came to you. You looked up at him, watching how he was soaking in the memories of you, that he didn’t get to witness. He smiles widely at the thought of you picking at your chicken sandwiches, only for you to eat the bread and call it lunch.

You notice the crinkle in his eyes, as he catches you in photos on the projector screen. You cover your face, a blush creeping onto your cheeks, as everyone awes at their younger selves. Suna grabs hold of your hands and pulls them down from your face, placing a kiss on your cheek.

“You know if I went to your school, I would’ve been afraid of you.”

“Says the one who looks bored out of his mind all the time.” you tease him, your gaze still fixed on the dimly lit screen.

“Guess we’re soulmates then.” he hums into your ear, tightening his grip around your waist.

The night went by smoothly, well as smooth as it can get when you’re surrounded by people who most definitely hated each other. Suna leads you to the bar, ordering a round of shots for the two of you.

“If we’re going to be here, we might as well take advantage of the open bar.” he grins, pouring salt onto your hand and handing you the tiny glass.

“I’m sure that’s the only reason so many people showed up.” you respond, licking the salt and downing the burning liquid. Suna brings a lime wedge to your lips, you suck on it lightly as he watches you intently. He brings it to his own mouth, draining the remainder of the juice before neatly folding it in a napkin.

“So what’s the story with those two over there?” he motions to the couple arguing a few feet from you.

“Them? They always do that, one minute they’re in love and the next they’re having a Twitter war.” you say, signaling the bartender for another round.

“Does that mean we’ll get to read some drama tonight?” Suna perks up, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. You giggle, clinking your glasses together and savoring the tequila running through you quicker than you expected.

“Already feeling it, pretty?”

“Pft. No, I’m just feelin’ fuzzy.”

Suna turns you to face him, his eyes starting to glaze over from the drinks. Everything around you feels hazy, but his touch is amplified as he taps on your lips to open. He wedges the lime into your mouth, gaze fixed on the way you swallow the tart juice and pucker your lips. Placing the fruit in his glass, he attaches his lips to yours, groaning at the mix of your sweetness and the sour taste of citrus. The lingering taste of tequila was replaced with his own, your body getting drunk off of him more so than the alcohol. He places his hand onto the small of your back, pressing you into him and eliminating any space between you two. A firm poke to your thigh was enough for you to have you moan softly into his mouth. He pulls away, a string of saliva connecting you two before snapping back onto his lips. He licks them, relishing in the haze of love and need he feels for you.

“Bathroom. Now.” he demands, throwing a wad of cash onto the bar and pulling you with him. A smile plastered on your lips as you follow close behind him, stumbling on your platforms.

The two of you stumble into the men’s bathroom, small giggles falling from your lips as Suna trips over his own foot before locking the door. You lift yourself up onto the counter, feeling the cold tile on your thighs and leaning against the mirror. Suna nudges your legs apart with his thigh, slipping in between them and running his hands up your short dress, peppering kisses along your neck.

“God, I love you.” he mumbles, pulling you closer to him and smashing his lips against yours. Your hands find their way to his hair, pulling at it slightly as he deepens the kiss and moans into your mouth. His grip on your ass tightens, before he makes his way between your legs. He lifts your dress and shoves your panties to the side, staring at the mess he’s caused.

“Always so wet for me, bunny.” he whispers into your core, placing a light kiss onto your clit. You whimper at the minimal contact and he grins, flattening his tongue and licking a stripe between your folds, savoring the taste he could never get enough of. “Fuck..” he moans, the cold metal of his ring clad fingers pumping into you slowly. The sinful moans of his name leave your mouth with no shame, the sound of him devouring you and your screams were sure to be heard from the hallway.

“Rin…” you moan out, your thighs tightening over his head as he continues to suck on your clit.

“You need me, baby?” he asks, looking up at you through his thick lashes. His honey eyes dripped with lust, as he moved his slick covered fingers to rub your clit. The small, tight circles cause your thighs to shake. “Answer me, pretty.”

“R-Rin… need you.” you stutter, feeling the familiar warmth in your stomach building up. You were so close, his fingers entering you once again and curling into your sweet spot. He grins at you, his face wet from your cunt, as he leans to press a kiss to your swollen lips. “Rin! I’m-”

“I know, baby. I got you.” he coos, going in and out of you faster. Just as you were about to reach your high, his fingers slip out of you. A mischievous grin plastered on his face, as he sucks on his fingers. You groan, covering your face and pressing your thighs together. “Ah… Ah…” He pushes your thighs apart with his body, unbuckling his belt and pulling himself out. “Thought you needed me?” He pouts, pumping himself slowly.

“I- Rin. Please, I was so close-” you whine, eyes pressed to his thick cock near your entrance.

“Spit on it.” you obey him, pursuing your lips to let the liquid fall onto his dick. He pumps himself, moaning and grabbing your face with his other hand. “Now tell me, pretty. What do you need?”

“Y-you.” you whisper, looking up at him with wide eyes as you unbutton his shirt. He places a sloppy kiss on your lips, breathing heavily when your cold hands replace his as you jerk him off. “Bend over for me.” His dark eyes watched you scramble off the counter, slipping your panties off and leaning over the sink. Your pretty face in the mirror looking back at him with pleading eyes as he rubs his cock against your cunt. He moans, pushing into you slowly, throwing his head back when he bottoms out. He stills, basking in the warmth of your plush walls.

“Fuck, Rin, move.” you huff, trying to relieve yourself.

“Am I not allowed to enjoy the moment?” he responds, gripping onto your hips tightly.

“Yeah, but- Fuck!” you moan at his sharp thrusts, a smile tugging at his lips as he pulls you back and forth on his dick. “Sorry, bunny. Couldn’t wait.” Your eyes roll into the back of your head, the steady pace of his thrusts driving you close to your peak once again. You reach your hand down to your clit, but Suna slaps your hand away. You look up at him in the mirror, his loving eyes boring into you, as he rubs at your clit in fast circles.

“Fuck, you’re taking me so well, baby.” he praises, his head falling back, letting his moans get louder the closer he gets. “Gonna cum in you, fill you up, and make you a pretty mama.”

“Fuck- Suna, don’t- WHAT THE FUCK?” you scream, feeling the fullness of his dick leave your dripping cunt.

“Who the fuck is Suna?” he giggles to himself, his dick grinding in between your folds at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Rin, c’mon- shit!” you bite your lip, your walls clenching around him as he kneads your ass.

“Good girl.” he coos, one hand on your hip and the other pulling your dress down to let your breast fall out. He moans, gripping at the soft flesh. “You gonna let me cum in you, baby?”

“Yes, fuck… don’t stop.” you hum, your brain starting to fog up as you near your release.

“S-shit, ‘M gonna.” he hisses, feeling your walls clench as you ride out your orgasm. Your fucked out expression and loud screams of his name was enough to have him spilling into you. He moans out your name, leaning over you and pressing a kiss to your shoulder, before pulling out and watching him spill out of you.

“You’re lucky I’m on the pill.” you pant, looking up at the mirror to him snapping a photo of the two of you. “Rin!”

“What? It’s a good memory!” he defends, taking several photos from different angles before lifting you up and setting you down on the counter. He shoves himself back into his pants, tucking his shirt and buckling belt before averting his attention to you. Your arms wrap around his neck as he kisses you softly, mumbling sweet words into your lips. He breaks away to dampen a towel, wiping you down as you scroll through the many pictures he took. A loud knock breaks the atmosphere, followed by annoyed screams.

“Have some fucking decency, some people need to use the bathroom!”

You both look at each other, laughing loudly before putting yourselves together. Suna adjusts his shirt, leaving the top buttons open and ruffling his hair. You slip into your underwear, smoothing out your dress and reapplying your lipstick. He gives your ass a light slap before opening the door and exiting, his eyes flicker between the couple outside. Suna’s lips twitch, realizing who the man leaning against the wall is. A smug expression spreads across his face, as he reaches his hand out for you.

“Sorry your sex life’s so boring.” he grins. You grasp his hand, walking out and nodding to the couple, recognizing the familiar set of eyes that you once adored.

“Sorry about that, bathroom's all yours.”

You squeeze Suna’s hand twice, a signal the two of you made up for when you’re feeling anxious. He quickly wraps his arm around your waist, pressing you into his side and placing a soft kiss onto your head. He hums quietly, leading the two of you out of the banquet hall and out to the garden. You stop at a bench, overlooking the city. The soft chirps of crickets and Suna’s intoxicating scent grounds you, a sense of relief washing over you.

“Fuck high school reunions, can’t believe you wanted to come here.” he jokes, pulling you onto his lap and holding you.

“Oh, shut up. You loved every minute of it.” you nuzzled into his chest.

“Particularly the bathroom part.” he hummed. “You okay?”

You sighed happily into his chest, nodding in response.

“So, tell me, what did the side bang do for you?”

“Shut the fuck up, Rintaro.” you hiss, getting up from his grasp, only for him to pull you back and attack your neck with kisses. Your laugh fills his ears, followed by your small fists punching his arm lightly in an attempt to get him to stop tickling you. A blush creeps onto his cheeks, the overwhelming feeling of love feels his body. He pauses his attack, your love laced insults about how irritating he could be was music to his ears. You’d never admit it to Suna, but you were glad he dragged you here. Seeing how his usual deadpan expression changed every time you were talked about made your heart swell. Maybe these things weren’t that bad, as long as he was by your side.

reblogs/likes appreciated <3

[peachyysugaa]

troublemaker

― dancer youtubers!lee heeseung x gn!dance major!reader

sparks fly when the top two dancers on youtube collab!

genre: slow-burn fluff, s2l

wc: 3.9k (omg i'm sorry) + 2 twitter pics

warnings: probably some wrong dance terminology, slightly suggestive (the dance is just 😳), short timeskip, it's cheesy please bear with me

part of my youtuber enhypen series, the fifth upload! feel free to read on its own~ ♞──────────────────────────♞

you finish off your last move with your arms wide open, your chest heaving up and down from lack of breath. smiling nevertheless, you know you absolutely love the feeling of getting your breath taken away after dancing because you know it meant you did your best. you walk towards the camera lens and peek at the comments through your open laptop.

"did you all enjoy that?" you ask breathlessly grinning. the flooding comments are filled with compliments from your cover of nct u's boss. however, one comment, in particular, caught your eye as others seemed to reply to it.

heeseung ✔ 2s ago wow that was amazing do you wanna do a collab sometime? 😊

line break insurance you've failed me 5x already

your eyes widen as you let out a gasp. "is that the lee heeseung?" you accidentally say out loud. you wince at the realization of your mistake. the comments are both praising you for your success in getting noticed by the other top dancer on youtuber and relating to your remark.

heeseung ✔ 3s ago haha yes it's me dm me if you want to hear more about it 🤍

"oh wow... this is really cool..." you state before blinking to get you out of your stupor. "well everyone, that's going to be all for y/n's motion of dance today! thank you so much for tuning in, love you!"

you wave goodbye for a few more moments and then shut off the broadcast, closing your laptop as soon as you do. you blink twice and suddenly let out a scream.

you stop with a gasp and cover your mouth with your hands because you cannot believe you forgot that your dance studio isn't the most soundproof of places. "sorry, other dance students..." you whisper to them but more for yourself.

taking a look around your escape, your passion, you can't believe you've made it to where you are, being praised as one of the top dancers on such a vast social media platform like youtube. if anything, you guess it runs in your family, after all, you are related to choi yeonjun, who is considered 4th gen's it boy.

though people were skeptical of you at first when you came on the youtube scene as a dancer after your older brother started taking more to modeling and acting, you quickly proved them wrong by showing them your talent and bloomed from then on. of course, you can't forget to mention the person who skyrocketed just around the same time as you.

and that was the aforementioned lee heeseung. you sigh as you finish packing up your clothes and things to head back to your dorm, glancing out the window to see the sun beginning to set. it seems today was a rare early finish for you.

"i could go for a coffee... i need to finish my classics essay anyway," you mumble to yourself, throwing your bag over your shoulder before hitting the showers and changing into a more casual set of clothes. the finishing touch is a baseball cap that sits snug on your head. tightening the strap on the back and grabbing your backpack and dance bag, you finally take your leave of your beloved dance studio and return the key on the way out. fresh air meets your face, allowing you to take a whiff of the cherry blossoms that have been blooming for a month or so as you make your way to the campus café.

ding ding, the coffee shop's calm doorbell welcomes you as your nose is hit by the sweet smells of freshly ground coffee beans. "welcome!" one of the servers calls at the counter, smiling at your figure that walks closer to order. "what can i get you?"

"hi, may i have..." you scan the menu quickly for a familiar drink. "a honey cinnamon iced latte please?"

"of course, name please?"

"choi y/n," you reply.

if they recognize you, they don't make any notion of it, simply scribbling your name on the plastic cup as you make your payment. you're grateful for the normal interaction and the peacefulness of the café, especially after a surprising stream. "i'll call you when your order's ready, choi y/n-ssi," they inform you with a warm grin.

"thank you," you smile back before going to find a seat. spotting a relatively private area close by with only a pair of boys sitting at the booth, you decide to take the booth two spaces away from them. one boy, you notice, sits taller than the other, but his face is covered by a baseball cap. the other looks like a freshman, his cheeks accentuated by a pair of deep dimples.

as you take your seat, you can't help but think the boy with dimples looks rather familiar but can't seem to place your finger on it. shrugging, you simply begin preparing to write your essay by taking out your laptop and notes from your classics ge. the moment you finish is when you hear your name being called.

"choi y/n-ssi, your honey cinnamon iced latte," the server's voice calls. on your way to receive your awaiting drink, you can finally hear the voices of the two boys sitting two booths down from you.

"did your crush just say choi y/n?" the one with the hat says.

'yes, that's me,' you think to yourself nonchalantly.

"weren't you just watching their stream, heeseung hyung?" another voice says as you pick up your latte and thank the server.

wait, heeseung? as in lee heeseung? it's when you turn around with your drink in hand that you notice the two males looking straight at you. now you're able to make out the features of the boy with the cap, and there's no mistaking it.

"lee heeseung?" you mutter out loud at the same time he speaks out yours.

well, maybe that wasn't what you were expecting today, but hey, life is full of surprises, even if they are one after the other for you. after that unexpected encounter, you and heeseung acquainted yourselves, he invited you to sit with them, and now you're sitting at their table, awkwardly sipping on your latte.

"right, so should i leave?" the other boy, who you found out is studytuber and vlogger yang jungwon (which is why he looked familiar to you), blurts out. you chuckle as heeseung shakes his shoulder lightly. "what? you two clearly have to talk about something, i need to study."

"yea, yea, lover boy. make sure you say bye to your crush on the way out," the male dancer teases, causing the younger one to turn bright red.

"don't call me that, hyung," he mutters before picking up his bag and leaving the booth. sure enough, you watch as jungwon passes by the counter and erupts into a nervous mess the moment the server beams at him.

"ah... so he likes them?" you think out loud.

"yup, it's been almost four months now. i'm the reason he even knows this cafe and that server exists," heeseung mentions, making you nod courteously. he turns his attention back to you with his hand placed under his chin. "but their relationship is besides the point. let's talk about us."

"d-did you have to put it that way?" the forwardness catches you off-guard, and you suddenly have a harder time swallowing a sip of your coffee.

"sorry," he says with a teasing smile. "i just think the collab i mentioned would be good for both of us, and it'll be really fun too."

"i agree, people who like you will come to me and vice versa," you nod. "but do you know what we would be dancing to?"

"so does that mean you're in?" he asks, smile starting to grow on his face. wordlessly, you roll your eyes and hold out your hand for him to shake. that's when his full smile comes out, causing your cheeks to heat up as you think about how much more handsome it makes him look. taking your hand, heeseung shakes it with his vigorously. "alright, dance partner, we have a deal."

after much deliberation and research, the two of you finally agree on troublemaker by the duo hyuna and hyunseung. heeseung suggested this song, stating that he always wanted to do the choreo with somebody and that it's destiny that both males have a name that starts with h and ends with seung. quite frankly, it's not like you could find much anyway, besides some cool music bank mc stages, it is cool that troublemaker was originally an opposite-gender duo in the korean entertainment industry.

the choreography however is an entirely different story. at many points, hyuna's body is touched by hyunseung and vice versa, but if they can do it and stay professional, then you believe you can too. besides, dancing will always be just dancing. heeseung also assures you that if you want, the two of you can just have your hands hovering, which makes you feel relieved to have an understanding partner.

hours pass by, and you and heeseung decide to meet at your usual dance studio daily after all your classes, which wasn't hard because he also frequented the same one.

"i still can't believe we attend the same university," you say aloud as the both of you pack up your laptops and supplies.

"i know right, you would think one of us would recognize the dance studio we go to 24/7, right?" he laughs. "although, i've seen you use a different one sometimes."

"do you really watch my covers and streams often?" you ask baffled. he and you wave the workers goodbye and make your way to the brisk evening air waiting outside as the staff sends you off.

"i do, is that so hard to believe?"

"a little," you reply sheepishly.

"well, let me walk you to your dorm and prove to you how much of a choi y/n stan i am," he boasts, and you let yourself laugh freely as you walk beside him to your destination.

it's strange, knowing a famous youtuber you watched also knew and followed you, but then again, you're not exactly nobody either. when heeseung drops you off, he admits that he actually lives a few floors above you and that you two can walk home together after each rehearsal. it's even stranger, knowing a famous youtuber literally has been on your campus, in the same dorm building as you, and this whole time, the two of you have both been clueless as to the other's existence as an ordinary college student.

speaking of which, he can't be a dance major, right? otherwise, you would've already seen him! these thoughts keep you tossing and turning to the point you don't register when you fell asleep. when you wake up, you feel as if you didn't get any sleep at all, but get up and ready nevertheless, going through another regular day as a dance major.

by the time your classes are over, you walk out of the studio yawning about to stop by your dorm to freshen up and maybe fit in a nap. you're holding a hand over your mouth mid-yawn when a voice starts talking to you.

"good thing i stopped by to get coffee." you open your eyes and close your mouth to see lee heeseung holding two cups of coffee. he's dressed in an oversized white shirt and grey sweatpants, a common dance practice outfit, so why is your heart skipping so many beats. "yo, choi y/n."

"heeseung," you say, still shocked. he hands you the coffee, which is actually the same flavor you got yesterday. "thanks."

"no problem," he replies coolly. "maybe we should take a break before we get to it?"

"i'll be fine, how about we can start watching the choreo?"

"they're always ready to dance," he nods with an impressed smile. "as expected of a dance major."

the two of you walk inside and book a studio for a few hours as you raise an eyebrow at him. "wait, what major are you?"

"music production."

"that makes so much sense!" you say relieved, stepping into the studio room for the umpteenth time. "i was racking my brains wondering what major you were."

"so the famous choi y/n is curious about me?" he smirks. you groan and facepalm in response. "i'm kidding, i'm kidding. let's watch the video on my tablet?"

nodding, the two of you watch carefully, eyes glued to the screen at your respective roles. you hold your breath at some touchy parts but also notice that both idols were able to shine in their solos.

"a few tweaks here and there, and it'll be perfect," heeseung comments once the video is over. "but let's go over some boundaries, yeah? let me know what you're comfortable with and what you're not."

"right," you agree, once again relieved to have such a safe and understanding partner like him. "well, i think i'm okay with you touching my arms, shoulders, and hips like hyunseung did to hyuna. i just need some time to get used to it."

"alright, that sounds good," he says nodding with a hand under his chin. "then for today, i'll just hover my hands over the places they need to be."

"what a gentleman," you tease.

he rolls his eyes playfully at you. "let's start marking."

and so that's what the two of you start on. with the video on the tablet, you go through the motions with the speed lowered, eventually picking up more moves until you're able to follow at the normal speed. as expected of the top two dancers on youtube, the two of you are quick on observing and learning the dance and get done with basic marking within 20 minutes or so.

after marking, you take a quick water break to watch the video again in full detail, officially beginning your first real practice. as promised, throughout the entirety of marking, heeseung has kept his hands to himself, but you've become comfortable enough to have him do a little more.

before you start practicing for real, you decide to speak with him. "hee," you call him as he puts down his water bottle.

"hm?" he confirms that you have his attention, looking up with his large doe-like eyes while wiping his mouth off from some excess water.

"uhm.." you fidget with your top a little before mustering up some courage. "you can do light touches now for the choreo."

"really? are you sure?" you nod at his question, causing him to come up to you and ruffle your hair lightly. you bat his hands away with a pout, smoothing out the mess he made as he laughs at you. "that's great, y/n," he says with a bright smile, unknowingly making your heart beat a little faster as you nod again. in your head, you rush to cover up the physical reaction with an excuse that it's just from the amount of exercise you've done.

the two of you stand in front of the mirror, ready to go. before the music starts, heeseung turns to you and says, "just let me know if i make you uncomfortable at all."

"i'll be fine," you reassure him with a small smile. that's when the song begins, and the sparks start to fly. every move flowed like water, yet every touch between the two of you was like electricity as if the two elements were working together instead of fighting. even though the touches are light, they still put chills up your spine, in a way that you can only describe with the phrase "meant to happen."

was fate moving its course to put this match together, or were you imagining it? you're not sure, but you grin while catching your breath once the first practice is over. falling to the floor softly, you sit with your hands splayed behind you and let out a relieved sigh. "ahh... dancing is so... great!"

heeseung chuckles at your reaction and offers a hand to get you up. "i'm glad you think that because we got a lot more practice ahead of us, partner."

"yup!" you say with a widening smile. the moment you took his hand, you felt an electric jolt that almost made you let go. getting up, you shake it off and barely catch the expression on your dance partner's face. "is something the matter?"

he blinks a bit before he's shaking his head with that charming smirk of his. "nope! let's practice!"

practice, practice, practice. that's how the next few hours go. and just like the day before, heeseung walks you to your dorm building, this time the conversation about how excited the two of you are for the recording.

that's basically how the next four or so days go, now that heeseung came into your life. your daily routine of wake up, eat, class, dance, repeat was shaken by him, because now he was a part of it. it's an indescribable feeling, hanging out with him. the best word, or phrase actually, is the same one you used while dancing with him: meant to be.

so when you finally get to the day of recording, you almost don't want it to end. at least, that's what you're telling your best friend and makeup artist, kim sunoo.

"friend, you're telling me that you and this guy have been following along to..." he tells you to look up as he curls your eyelashes. "a dance like that for four days and you've been getting shocks this whole time?"

"i mean, yeah?"

"y/n, i love you, but you're missing a little something, aren't you?"

"wha-!?"

"pucker up, sweetie, we're making your lips look kissable," sunoo commands. you do an eye-roll but do as he says. "if you don't ask him out or do something by the end of this, you can at least kiss your best shot at a boyfriend goodbye with luscious lips."

he finishes applying the color and asks you to rub your lips together and make that pop sound. "perfect," your best friend compliments. "go out there and get your mans."

"thank you, sunoo!" you say, gazing at your reflection in the mirror and loving the way he accentuated your features. "by the way, you're all talk. you should ask your celebrity crush out when they appear on your channel."

"i'll get there when i get there!" he whines and starts pushing you out of his dorm room. "just go get 'em, tiger."

with that, you make your way to the dance studio where heeseung is waiting for you, dressed in hyunseung's iconic suit with the leopard-patterned blazer. your heart quickens, seeing how much more handsome he looks dressed up, hair slicked back and some makeup done. he looks up upon hearing the door open and his mouth slightly hangs open as well.

the both of you are silent as you approach him, in your equally bedazzling outfit, sheer to mimic hyuna's stage dress. "you look amazing," the two of you say at the same time. stunned at the simultaneous sentence, you two immediately start guffawing at how this was unlike your usual interactions.

"that was so awkward!" you blurt out, unable to contain your laughter.

"yea, not like us at all," he admits while he wipes a stray tear from laughing too hard away. smiling at each other, you admire the way his eyes reflect your image and sparkle. "you ready to get this show on the road."

"ready as i'll ever be." the two of you get into your positions on the opposite ends of the room, and heeseung starts the camera and the music soon after. you take each step slowly to meet him in the middle as he takes your hand and brings it up to his lips to give it a kiss while smirking. you keep your face professional as the two of you take a few steps forward, the back of his fingers curled over the front of yours.

starting back-to-back, you walk forward a bit before the beat drops and heeseung's part begins. you're on autopilot as you dance your fingers from his chest to his shoulders, and then the chorus comes. hips swaying, you're able to feel his hands' light taps on your body as the two of you lose yourself to the music you've danced to hundreds of times this week.

then, it's your killing part as you lipsync hyuna's rap and take bold steps around heeseung's body, ending up behind him to bring your hands over his shoulders and make a scratching movement across his chest. you step towards his side, do your thing, and walk away as if playing hard to get.

you wait for his part during the bridge and make a side glance towards him before moving towards him and performing the hip-heavy part of the chorus together. your partner moves his face up along your arm, taking it in like you're a statue. you then act like you brush him away when heeseung gets close enough. after this second chorus, you're leaving him to do his big solo, watching carefully as he makes his every move precise and crisp yet flow well.

it's the last chorus now, and this time, you can't take your eyes off each other as you finally face one another. you stay drowning in his shades of brown without a single misstep until you have to walk away from him. you wait for him to come towards you, back slightly turned away as he jaunts forward, making his way to be captured by your hand behind his neck.

the last breath of the song is the one where you're supposed to turn your head away as his own chases yours, but this time, you brave forward and lean in close. the music fades away, but all you hear is his breathing, feeling it against your own.

you stay like this, ensnared in each other's arms, forgetting about everything except the person wrapped close to you as you feel his every breath against your lips and every inhale and exhale under your hand. he searches your eyes, looking for some kind of sign. "do you mind if i—"

that was all you needed before you're pressing your lips against his. it only takes seconds for him to kiss you back, moving his hands from their previous position on your hips to hold your face. becoming breathless from dancing was one thing, becoming breathless from kissing heeseung was another thing entirely, it was in a league of its own you note as you pull away and rest your forehead on his.

"we'll have to edit that out," you say after what seemed like ages of taking each other in while chuckling.

"i have a better idea than editing."

"oh, and what's that, handsome?"

"look at you getting all bold, troublemaker," heeseung replies with that smile of his. he shakes his head, moving away from you and taking your hand in his. "how about we go on our first official date as youtube's top dancer couple?"

"that does sound like a better idea," you agree, your own smile widening.

"then let's make it happen, sweetheart."

bonus! - click for full images

taglist: @cha-raena @imjustme-things @misoiishi @rikitaiyaki send an ask to join the taglist! :3c permanent taglist: @fiantomartell

a/n: wow this was a long one!! i'm not sure if i detailed all the movements well, but i hope you all enjoyed it nevertheless <3

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[meanscarletdeceiver]

Saved from scrap?

This one is interesting as a fandom barometer. Like, as far as I can make out by squinting at the meager fossil record, this story was considered a GEM by RWS fans… like, the sort of people who were kids way before TVS and way, way before the Internet, or railway worker/volunteer types who came to the books as adults. This is probably because these types were generally suckers for both the motifs of “scrapping threat” + “Edward,” plus, I'm guessing, acquiring and restoring a traction engine is one of those dreams that seems just about within reach for a mechanical geek.

By the 2000s, you see glimpses (especially waaay back in the SiF archives) of this attitude, but then as the internet fandom gets underway this story suffered a huge drop in favor.

In general, the fandom got a lot younger (a good thing! the alternative being that it dies out) and developed an appreciation for stories, even within the RWS, that aren’t just the “Thomas or Percy do something silly” or “Edward does something admirable” ones that were so heavily favored by the old fogeys. The consensus warmed up, almost season by season, to non-Awdry stories; the preference (especially for video-makers) swung strongly towards stories with more “action”; TVS expanded the cast of characters to include so many more options, most of which actually have personalities… kind of unlike Trevor. :/ Fifteen years of underage bros making hurr-durr pedophile jokes surely hasn’t helped, either.

Thus at this point I hardly ever see this story mentioned, much less praised. I was a bit surprised by the ask, tbh.

But, having since done a Season 2 rewatch, I’m ready to commit to the proposition that this one is a bit slept on! It holds its own pretty damn well against the rest of the a great season.

Let’s dive in:

1) First off, it begins with Yet Another TVS-Penned Introductory Bit. This is one of the things that Allcroft and Mitton did really well during the golden years, and I’m starting to feel they don’t get nearly enough credit for their bits of original writing. The little exchange between Thomas and Edward is so natural—you don’t need to tell us anything about their relationship when you can just show a telling lil’ glimpse like that.

Master Class in How to Shoehorn Thomas into ANYTHING and Actually Make It Work, Exhibit A

Master Class in How NOT to Shoehorn Thomas Into Anythi

From what I’ve learned on Twitter/SiF, by the way, the footage at the very beginning (before the turntable scene—“The Fat Controller works his engines hard”) was originally intended as the intro to “The Missing Coach.” After they gave that episode the axe I don’t think I would have thought to recycle it into this of all stories in a million years. But it’s really smart? A very subtle intro, but it sets up the contrast in this story between TFC’s railway and certain private, less-ethical owners…

2) ‘Kay, let’s jump ahead to the single greatest adaptational change, possibly of the entire season: Trevor’s design.

SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Red accents improve the look of virtually any steam engine. Brilliant work.

3) Yo, still talking about the visuals in both Trevor episodes… the sets are so nice? They especially stand out in the context Season 2, where to be honest the sets (David’s beloved harbor scenes excepted) are decidedly not the selling point.

But here they not only take advantage of the lush orchard setting for some welcome prettiness in a somewhat drab-looking season, but even the not-so-pretty sets and shots are very nicely-arranged… with not nearly as much wasted/empty space as you see in a lot of Clearwater footage. Look at how many shots here are either unique to this episode or the first appearance of an iconic location:

Somewhere, right now, someone is offending me, personally, by carping "durrrr they used the same layout three times just dressed differently." Yeah, yah spoiled capitalist guttersnipe! That's the amazing part! It's creative economy, and they fucking nailed it.

Bonus points for them using a cross-fade at 0:15 (! — do we ever get one of these in the Classic Series again? I’ve been wracking my brains trying to think of one). Also, the scrap train is one of the cooler consists that we get this entire season… I feel like you need some mixed goods, plus a nice flatbed of logs, before you get significantly more interesting than this:

Bonus points again for the sound of the brakes. I freakin��� love when they use that effect.

4) Story-wise you have to consider the series (book and shows) in chronological order before you fully appreciate what a jump in the threat level of the universe “Saved from Scrap” really hits us with. Prior to this, there were fears about being “sent away,” but they were very vague and undefined; if the series had ended with Henry the Green Engine, there would be no reason to read those words as anything more serious than being expelled from school. And two books earlier, Toby the Tram Engine yanked up the darkness, inasmuch the first story ends with Toby left closed in his shed, presumably forever… plus the threat of Henrietta being turned into a henhouse… and that was all “yikes” enough, to be sure. But we still hadn’t even said the S-word yet, and even “Toby and the Stout Gentleman” ends with the shed being flung open again, plus the reassurance that Toby will have more adventures after a brief, lighthearted Thomas intermission.

And that’s it… until suddenly Edward and the reader/viewer are faced with a bloke sitting in a scrapyard who literally has a date set to be “broken up.” Next week.

Shit just got real on the island of Sodor!

This really feels like the moment we stepped out of “nice lil’ kids’ bedtime stories” to start wading into the deeper waters of “strap in babe, they’re gonna be making adaptations and fanfic out of this dramatic literary series for decades.”

5) Of course it’s utterly appropriate that the main character here alongside the (presumably very young and wide-eyed) reader is Edward. This is the story where his character is distilled into its most concentrated form, imho. He’s an old and clanky engine himself, apparently he visits this scrapyard and hauls away pieces of machine corpses on the weekly, and yet—he is appalled at the idea of a not-already-broken engine being scrapped. I mean how is he this shocked? But that is not a criticism. His horror and single-minded determination to not shut up about this until Trevor is safe is just so… Edward. 💙

I’m also not sure that, up till this point, we had ever gotten a story where one of the engines can exercise some agency and do some good with it? Honestly, in many of Awdry’s stories (you can almost visibly see him unbending as the series goes on, with Enterprising Engines being the high point), the engines using free will almost always means they’re about to do something troublesome or at least silly. I mean, there are examples aplenty of “persevered until finished a hard job,” but outside of strictly their railway duties I can’t think of any earlier examples of engines wanting something and it not inevitably turning into “… but in the end the dumbass learned their lesson about engines having, hahaha, Ideas!” Even “good” mischief like Henry’s sneeze was down to the drivers.

I like to imagine someone straight-up told Awdry “Yep. More of this, please.” Because, as said, after this you start to see more and more of the engines taking some initiative (Stepney showing Duck how to lay down sand, Oliver asking Douglas for help and Douglas agreeing, Toad and Oliver conspiring to tear apart an enemy… well, maybe one of these isn’t like the others. Then again, maybe it is!)

6) I don’t agree with the sometimes-heard criticism that this is a “slow” story… as a matter of fact, they cut some of the convos from the RWS version, probably to avoid the narrative seeming too busy! It’s just that it’s pretty human-centric, rather than railway-centric. Plus it still feels way more impactful and “high-content” than the story before, despite being not nearly so “actiony.”

Anyway, I love the this human-centric aspect. Another development you can see in the Awdry stories leading up to this book is the increased emphasis on human characters—in fact, the Rev. actually stepped back from this level of human spotlighting after Edward the Blue Engine, I suppose because perhaps the series would have gotten rather cluttered if every station/town had been fleshed out in this much detail.

Which I get, but still, this story/book's worldbuilding for Wellsworth is so great, just as or more vivid than any glimpse we get of RWS’s famously bucolic Thomas’s branch line. There’s the driver and fireman (who have names), who know the Vicar, who knows Jem Cole, and they all know that they know each other, and man am I ever a sucker for fictional small-town dynamics. I could eat this up for days.

And I am super happy that a good deal of the “human stuff” was accordingly kept/filmed in the adaptation. Good vibes!

‘Course, as is becoming tradition… here is the RWS stuff that didn’t quite make it into TVS:

Okay, this was mostly all in TVS, but the begging goes down really hard here. “You have roooooommm!” points out Edward, as if that alone should be reason enough for someone to save another living being from being killed slowly and painfully, and also come to think of it where is the lie????

Honestly this story is only “simple” if you don’t think about it for two seconds. When you do, it starts to break your brain. (Also, +1 to TVS for giving Edward that albeit-slightly-odd-looking “upset” face during this exchange; Dalby illustrates this as a smiley happy scene???? Which it is not. Sorry. The Vicar might think it’s funny but he’s the only goddamn one.)

Even if the very last bit was lost, delighted that the boys made it into the adaptation. (Come to think of it, are the two naughty kids in “Old Iron” who nearly get James killed their foils/Jungian shadows? lol Anyway I forgot to take a picture of it, but the line right before this page is the boys begging their father to buy Trevor on the spot, no test-drive needed. Good lads. Distinctly less narcissistic than their old man lol she says, with an “lol” and a whimsical strikethrough to indicate that she is not taking this too seriously when actually she wanta chase after this man with a damn blowtorch.)

I am, however, disappointed that TVS cut the part (also not photographed above) where Jem gets the demo started by saying “Watch this, Reverence!” (Ironically, this refusal to portray that bit of cheek is actually part of the modern “PC” stuff that Awdry was bitching about—and yes, I am sure he did notice that omission when he got steamed up. Give 'im a lil' credit.)

Still, overall, yeah… this episode looks great and it also retains, indeed in some ways manages to enhance, the themes that make this story unique. High marks!

Certainly it blows “Bertie’s Chase” right the hell out of the wa *aaaand the network abruptly cuts to commercial*

[remythologise]

Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hi. I'm a new fan, found this blog recently and I like that you do not step away from criticism and give your honest opinion. I'm really fascinated with fan behavior as I've done some research about it but what I've come to notice in this Fandom is the difference between Armys depending on the social media network they're engaging in. Armys themselves point it out, comparing each other's behavior and believing they're somehow "superior". Do you have any takes regarding this topic? Thanks.

Hi there :)

I haven't done extensive research on fandom behavior, but I did notice as well how there's a difference depending on the social media platform. Maybe everyone has a different view on this, depending on what they use the most. I usually check everything, but mostly what happens on twitter, tumblr, instagram and tiktok. The last two are definitely for a more younger demographic, so the content that exists is in accordance to that, especially on tiktok. Reading the comments, most of the time they ask where a clip came from, even if it was released the same day on official BTS channels.

When it comes to twitter and tumblr, that's where the actual discourse is taking place and this is where that feeling of superiority comes in. But the fact that some of them feel as if they're better is quite ridiculous. Armys on twitter can be like hyenas and given everything I have seen until now, it's like the pits of hell. You have so called ''celebrities'', people posting without verifying information, name calling, death threats, swearing and using horrible language in general when it's not even necessary (not that it would be normal in any situation), no critical thinking skills and following what a big account says, etc. There's so much more, but I guess these examples can paint a picture. A fandom cannot feel superior in regards to those on other platforms or other fandoms when this is how they behave. I have called out online Army and I will continue to do so. It's absolutely horrid and the arrogance just makes me dislike them even more.

When it comes to tumblr, I'm going to talk about the accounts that focus on written posts and who publish asks in order to create a discussion. The community is a bit more closed off compared to twitter, but they're not better. I saw the rise of tumblr ''celebrity'' accounts and the tactics they use to bring more attention, while posing as respectful fans. I'm not impressed by it and sometimes they can have no morals. I certainly do not care about those that use their blogs as just bulletin boards, posting endless asks, barely giving some answer, not really listening to what the anon is saying. That's not a conversation, even if they think it is. They have a status to maintain so they need to be very firm in their beliefs. I've also seen witch hunts, demands about identity reveals, throwing other bloggers under the bus cause that seems like the cool ''correct'' thing to do while offering platforms to those who liked to complain.

In conclusion, is it really justified for any part of the Army fandom to feel superior? Definitely not and the fact that each group has a stance on this demonstrates how it's all about perception and their own social power before anything else. The rest, it's just a footnote.

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol. 20

I want to try to break the book into three main chunks. The last time I did that, it was easier to write about. So uh, the first chunk has to do with Tohru and her feelings about Kyo, and Kagura's reaction, the second chunk is Akito and Ren's past being revealed (it's totally a mess but it's to be expected), and the third chunk is about things unraveling.

Ok cool let's do it. (The picture was at the end of one of the chapters, I just liked it a lot idk) (also tumblr needs to increase the character limit for the alt text, it's only 200 characters, which goes by quick. twitter has like,, 420, which is more manageable)

Tohru came to Kazuma's house to visit Izusu, and Kagura came to confront Tohru about something. What possibly could it be (as if I didn't say so in the beginning)? Kagura was talking about it a bit with Kazuma, and he said he just hopes that Tohru's feelings don't come from a place of pity (which is a mild "oof" point for Kagura, because that's mostly why she loved Kyo), because Kyo has had to deal with people either flat out hating him, or being nice to him out of a sense of pity. Even Kazuma admitted (earlier in the series. I don't remember when but I remember reading it) that part of the reason he took in Kyo as a child was because he was making it up for how he treated his grandfather, the previous Cat. Over time, those feelings fell away, in favor of genuinely caring for Kyo's wellbeing, but Kazuma doesn't seem to be the one who would forget about stuff like that. (Also it turns out that the previous Cat's partner basically stayed with him out of a sense of pity, as well)

It turns out that Izusu and Tohru were talking about the same thing, and Tohru worried if her feelings for Kyo were selfish, because she wanted nothing to take Kyo away from her, not the curse, not the Sohma family, nothing. Kagura then bust into the room, smacked Tohru across the fucking room it seems, and said, "Then fucking tell him that!!" (direct quote, 100%) Izusu yelled at Kagura for hitting Tohru, asking what right she had for doing that, but given Kagura's nature, it doesn't seem completely out of nowhere. She just got pretty emotional in that moment.

For Tohru, it seemed to knock the right screw loose for her, and she thought back to when she was talking about her father to Kyo, and if he said really anything against what she was talking about, she apparently would've just zipped her lips and pretended she hadn't said anything, and moved on, but he didn't. Which is pretty nice of him to do, honestly. Anyway, when she came to again (because she got knocked out from Kagura's emotion-packed slap), Kyo was sitting there, because Kazuma had called him, ("Hey dude so there was a smackdown here and Tohru got knocked out lmao" is how I'm imagining the call. kjdhkfgjh can you imagine Kazuma saying "lmao" I can't) but Kyo didn't ask about the fight (which was a Wise Lesson from Shishou™), another nice thing for him to do, though in my opinion it would be a pretty easy thing to explain.

Ok, so now onto the second chunk, which kinda has some of the stuff in the third chunk later on but whatever. Story flow, it's pristine today.

It starts with some of the,, maids? or something that are in the Sohma house (they never get names so far as I can tell, and I don't really know what to call them, but at one point someone referred to one of them as a maid, I think? Idk.) talking about Ren, and wondering why Akito still let Ren wander around freely like she does. Another said that Akito can only do so much, because apparently there is a crowd of people in the house that are "Ren-followers", and if she had Ren be completely contained within an area, there's a chance that those followers might start some shit, which would be a headache to deal with. One of the maids said that Akito has been sick (or holed up in her room) for too long, and the rest of the Juunishi are doing nothing to help, which does not help with Ren, who spouts out stuff about how the Juunishi doesn't really care about Akito at all. The maids seem to have a particular thing against Ren, because they view her as an unsuitable woman who somehow managed to become partners with Akira, the previous God, I think, but also the father of Akito.

Speaking of Akito, she has a box. That same box that Ren tried to use Izusu to get back. Something about that box has to do with Akira, and it seems important to both Akito and Ren, though honestly at this point Akito is probably just holding onto it out of spite for Ren, I wouldn't be surprised (I, too, am a petty bitch. I understand the mindset). She asked Kureno if he has any idea what is in it, and when he says he doesn't, she simply says, "Father."

Now we jump over to Ren and Shigure, who are also talking about about that elusive box. Apparently Shigure was tasked to get the box, but obviously he didn't succeed. He said (thought? He didn't say it aloud, it was one of those thoughts thing--- anyway) that he didn't really care, he didn't even want to touch that box, much less even look at it, it was no loss to him. Out loud, he says that it would be inappropriate for him to hold it, and Ren agrees, saying that only she can have it, just like how only she could have Akira, when he was alive. Are you already sensing where this is heading? Well, I'll say it anyway.

Flash back to Kureno, he's thinking about Akira, from when he was younger and Akira was still alive. He remembers Akira as very beautiful, in a fleeting way. Akira was sickly, all the time, and sad. Everyone knew that he wouldn't live for very long. But since he was the head of the house, of the family, it was imperative that he find a partner and produce an heir. That person was Ren, who was one of his care-takers. The rest of the staff (or something??) didn't like that she was going to be with Akira, it seemed unsuitable, but she was the only candidate. She was the only person who recognized how lonely he was, is what Akira said as a defense when people objected. And so, they were married. The older members of the family despised it, the younger thought it was the beginning of a new change, a new era. Ren said (because this section is flipping between Kureno and Ren) that it was only them two (haha grammar): Akira and Ren, they were all who mattered. She was everything to Akira. So when she had Akito, well, that muddled things. Because now there was another person that Akira loved: his own fuckin child. That's right. Ren got jealous of her own child because Akira loved his very own daughter. That's,, that's something. Shortly after that, Ren decided that Akito would be raised as a boy. Or maybe it was while she was still pregnant. At any rate, she said it was because it would be unsuitable for the head of the family to be a woman, but we all know the real reason: it's so that Akira wouldn't be loving another girl, even though that other girl was his daughter. Jfc Ren is a handful. From Kureno's memory, it seems like even as a kid, Shigure recognized that.

Back to Shigure and Ren, Shigure says that he feels sorry for Ren, probably thanks to all that upset she has. She says the same, that the Juunishi have had to deal with the abuse that Akito has dealt to them simply because of that "bond", and that there's no way that anyone could honestly love Akito. Shigure also comments that sometimes he thinks that if Akito had been raised as a woman, she'd look exactly like Ren, which instantly pisses Ren off. She just starts screaming about "Who do you have to thank for Akito being born! I'm the reason that (insert angry comment about how she's the only reason why x happened)". I'm kinda glad she isn't in the series much, this is exhausting. I know she's in the book later, and maybe a bit more in the next few, but jeez. It's a lot.

Anyway, let's end the chapter with Momiji having his curse be broken. The end is near (for the Juunishi, not this post lmao).

The second that the curse breaks, Akito knows it (that's probably the bond. I doubt it's some kinda "we'll be friends forever uwu" kinda thing, it's just kinda an awareness of each other, or maybe just God's awareness of everyone) and races towards Momiji, begging him to not leave. Now that the curse is broken, Momiji is confused as to how those thoughts he had prior for Akito were even there, now that he sees Akito clinging onto him, whimpering and panicked. Momiji waves her away, saying that he'll keep it a secret, and that Akito should go rest, wasn't she feeling sick earlier?

We pan over to the school, where Haru is asking Yuki if he's noticed anything off about Momiji. Haru can't place it, but something seems off, maybe not. Kyo ends up running into Momiji walking down a hallway, and asks him about it (he overheard the others talking about it), and Momiji just out and says it: his curse broke. He said he imagines that Tohru would be happier about it if it were Kyo's curse that broke, and that he (Momiji) lost. (I guess he lost in some unspoken one-sided competition of "getting" Tohru, because y'know she's not her own person who is capable of deciding these things for herself or anything)

Later, Momiji goes back to the main Sohma estate, to apologize to Akito for how he acted yesterday, but also to say that he won't be staying there any longer. Akito takes it like a champ, slapping Momiji across the face and insulting him, saying that he's a traitor, he has nowhere else to go, his family either doesn't remember him or hates him, he'll never be happy! and Momiji's just like, "Yeah lol I already feel lonely", that he can't be with the person he loves, and he no longer has that One Thing that previously connected him to most of the other people he's close with, and that there's no going back. He does say though, that it's not Akito's decision or place to say whether Momiji will ever be happy or not, because he might not be happy now, that does not mean that he won't ever be happy in the future. He then asks Akito how long she will stay at the house, thinking that eventually, everyone will come back to her, that no one will be happy without her. What if it's actually her that is most afraid-- Akito isn't down for an analysis, she just tells Momiji to leave.

Let's now go down memory lane, down a nice and happy time, especially for Akito and Ren: Akira's death and it's after effects. Happy times. (apparently i was wrong, the thing i said was the third chunk that wove in nicely with the second was just the second chunk, i think this is the actual third chunk)

Akito is thinking back (on a rainy morning, extra points for setting the mood) on her relationship with her parents. With Akira, it was nice, he always was kind and caring, telling Akito that she is what everyone has been waiting for, and that she thought she was the one Akira loved the most. With Ren, however, she was always cruel, from the start. She always glared at Akito, she was always mean. Akito hates her. We're brought back to the day Akira died, where Ren bursts into the room, asking why she wasn't notified sooner, why Akira had to die alone. One of the attendants said his condition worsened too quickly to call Ren close by, but also that Akira hadn't died alone; he died with Akito by his side. The attendant said that Akira's will had been passed onto Akito, she was now the head of the family. Ren was angered at that, there's no reason for Akito to still be around now! She only tolerated her child being around because Akira liked her, but now that Akira is gone, there is no one to love or care about Akito. Akito said that wasn't true, that all of the Juunishi will love her, because of their bond. (Which is basically what Akira said. He put most of that stuff into her head, and she doubled down on it whenever Ren said anything against it, which might as well be every single time they were around each other)

Back to the present, Kureno comes in the room to talk about something, but Akito interrupts him, saying that she was happy when Yuki was born, as the Rat. It was mostly just something she used to prove Ren wrong, and she used it as long as she could (much to the deterioration of Yuki's mental health). She thought back, over the years, to all the bad things that had happened, how she tried so hard to keep everyone close, and how all of them had, one by one, come to "betray" (cough cough, try to live their own lives, cough cough) her. After Shigure and Yuki left to their present residence, Ren said that they had given up on Akito. When Akito again mentioned their bond (which, really, now that I think about it, has basically been the singular thing straining to keep everything under control. Akito's sole sense of identity was being God, she's never had anything else.), Ren waved it away, then challenged that if any of the Juunishi can go out into the world, experience it in all it's freaky magical ways, and not be taken in by it, and instead return to Akito, then she will have been proved wrong, Akito's claims this whole time will have been correct. If they failed to, however, Ren said that Akito would have to give up the Sohma name. But Akito believed it, she truly believed she was right, that nothing big enough would come between her and the rest of the Juunishi (Tohru has entered the chat). She had to believe it, she just had to. But now, it's evident, between how Haru reacted upon learning about Izusu, Momiji's demeanor after the curse broke, the general way that the rest of the Juunishi float away from Akito, that it isn't true, and with that, she has nothing to hope for.

Upon this realization, Ren bursts into the room, knee-length hair floating around her, eyes crazed, knife in hand, demanding for Akira. Demanding for that box, and whatever contents were inside. In response, Akito fuggin yeeted it at Ren, she didn't give a shit. It flashed back to right before Akira died, and he soothed Akito by saying that, despite dying, he will always be with her. He wanted for Ren to be happy. He wasn't upset that he was dying so soon, he knew that he was just a man who was going to die, but he was happy that he was able to have a child, and to have had that child with Ren, and since that child was special, it was proof that their relationship was a special one. Back to the present, Ren scrambles to the box, tears it open hungrily to find,,, nothing. The box was empty. It'd always been empty, said to have held Akira's soul, but it was mostly just something to help Akito with Akira's passing. Suddenly, Akito grabbed the knife that fell from Ren's hand, poised to stab Ren but then--

Hiro's curse broke. Ren can thank that bond she always scoffed at for saving her life. But hey, now Hiro can hold his baby sister, which is nice. Yay for family moments.

Boo for Akito, because it's just really grinding in that the curse is quickly falling apart, and there's absolutely nothing that she can do about it. Ren taunts Akito, asking if she was trying to kill her. The attendants blow up, one yelling at Ren for making such a scene, taking a knife with her, and another scolds the first for giving Akito that box in the first place, it's stupid! The first attendant said that Akito knew from the start that it was empty, common sense would say that much! (idk man it could've held one last letter from Akira to Akito, a letter wouldn't affect the weight of the box significantly, it's not common sense)

Akito leaves the room, and Kureno follows. Akito says that it was both common sense but also not, that there wasn't anything in the box. She wanted to believe there was a chance that something was in that box, some kind of invisible energy that would help her. But even after opening it, seeing that it was empty, she still held onto it, knowing there wasn't anything. And that was her common sense, that's what she thought. She'd never been given any other way of thinking, of living, so why and how should anyone expect differently? Kureno says that she can start learning now, that that was what he wanted to talk about earlier, that she can't stay here, she'll never be able to move on, to which Akito cuts him off with "Fuggin now, bitch?? You're saying that now?? That doesn't help me! It would have helped in the beginning! But not fucking now!" (which btw is true. i doubt akito was even allowed to go to a public school, that she was schooled within the estate. i really believe that she's never really been outside of the the properties that the Sohma family owns) Then she stabs Kureno, with that knife she's been holding all this time. She reasons with it saying that Kureno's "halfway kindness" has been killing her this whole time, that it can't be fixed by Kureno saying that maybe Akito should go touch some grass. As Akito is running from the scene (more like haggardly stumbling), she continues thinking that it's Kureno's fault, it's not on her, until she remembers what Yuki was saying at the New Year's gathering about blame. It doesn't really fix anything, it just momentarily makes you think that you're not in the wrong. *record scratch* What if it's Akito's fault, then? All of this? What if it's her fault? What if it's the fault of the person who made everyone change? What if it's Tohru's fault?? (dun dun dunnnn)

Meanwhile, back at the other Sohma house (Shigure's house?) Tohru has some confessing to do. Before that though, Kyo has some confessing to do, though not about the same thing. He tells Tohru that he knew her mom before she died, and that he was the reason she died. He tells her that they met when he was really young, and how they had kinda become friends (in that way that people become friends by talking often, but Kyo never told Kyoko his name, because he had some weird thing about having a name so similar). That all fell apart the day that Tohru went missing. He promised that he would find her and rescue her, but after finding that Yuki had done it (the evidence was The Hat), he lashed out, and never talked to Kyoko again. Years later, when he was at the crosswalk, who was beside him but Kyoko, who he recognized instantly. He wasn't sure what to do, whether to say something to her or hold back. He was totally able to grab her arm, get her out of harm's way, but he didn't, he was too scared. (plus yaknow the whole cat thing) He beats himself up about, still to this day. He does the same with his own mom's death. It was his fault that his mom killed herself, she couldn't stand having such a monster as a child. It was too much for her, and she couldn't take any longer. (It wasn't. I won't say that his mom wasn't put under strain for having Kyo, for knowing that he wasn't human, that he turned into a weird monster if his bracelet was taken off, but from what we've seen of his dad, it was probably at least 85-90% his dad's fault. He was too caught up in the politics of the Sohma family, ashamed of the fact that Kyo was the Cat, the worst out of them, that he couldn't even salvage having one of the good freaks to have as a child of his, and he took it all out on his wife and later his son.)

And the book ends on that cheery note. (Why do I say stuff like that why I am I like this)