#I'm gonna post it in parts and make you put them together like puzzle pieces or something

[arttsuka]

We need the ponies

Is this about that last wip?

I might actually post it...

Here's another part of that drawing

[taigarrryen]

-> The Paper Art Post <-

Let's make some Wild Life ep.3 snails together!

First of all, I make a sketch (usually it's already the size I want the final thing to be, because I'm a very lazy person).

At the point where everything is apparent enough to have a clear vision in mind, I go to my paper scrap drawer and think of what colors and textures I want to use (although sometimes I initially start from the color palette).

Here they are! But don't get too attached, we're gonna destroy them later >:)

And while we're on it, let's talk a bit about textures!

Textures are like candy for our eyes. They are an easy way to trick your brain into thinking that something is more detailed than it actually is, hence it adds interest and makes the whole piece fun to look at.

However, this is also why it's important not to overuse them — it's easy to get lost in the details and accidentally make your piece difficult to perceive as a whole.

You can make textured paper yourself using literally anything you can come up with: paint a sheet of paper with gouache or tempera, make swirls and gradients with watercolor or inc, scribble with colored pencils, make prints with various objects (I enjoy making prints of crumpled paper tissues soaked in ink), etc etc. Packaging film or candy wrapping also can be cool.

My only advice is be careful if you use gouache: some colors can make your fingers messy even after completely drying, so that has to be kept in mind to avoid accidentally leaving a dirty fingerprint somewhere you didn't plan for it to be.

For the tools I recommend using not only scissors, but a modeling knife/scalpel and an awl as well. Modeling knife makes cutting small things much easier, and awl comes in handy when you want to transfer a detail on paper but don't want to use pencil.

For gluing stuff I use gluestick, rubber glue and double-sided tape.

Now the fun part!

You can add details with colored pencils and markers ↑

As you can see, the process is pretty simple: I cut the piece I need from the sketch and transfer it to colored paper.

When it comes to assembling pieces, you can carefully cut them so that everything fits together like a puzzle, or simply glue them on top of eachother.

Keep the scraps (unless they're objectively tiny, of course)! You never know when you'll want just that amount of just that color or texture. It's also much more practical to cut new details from the side of the sheet from which you have already cut, rather than start from different edge every time you need a piece of that color.

Don't rush to glue things down! Along the way you might want to move something a bit or put one piece under another, and with quickly gluing everything it won't be possible. I like to work in big parts, making every object or character in the picture first and then, after putting them on their places and fumbling around, gradually assemble everything like lego.

Here are two parts of the picture (Bdubs' snail + Tango&Etho's snails) and a piece of red film I want to put on the background in some places. All that's left is to assemble everything by carefully gluing it on to my sketchbook page :)

You also can elevate certain parts of your artwork to create depth and areas of interest, using puffy tape or п-shaped / [-shaped piece of paper and glue. It looks really cool, but I usually don't do that because it's inconvenient for me to store & I like to keep everything in the sketchbooks.

TA-DAAA, we're done! The best thing about this technique is that you don't have to be good at actually drawing to make something that looks interesting!

Hope this post was useful and you've got inspired to try paper art for yourself! (And if you did — send me your art in ask box or replies, I'll be very glad to see it :] )

[littleredstory]

A bit of a "thinking out loud" post but one thing that is not currently in Little Red that I've been considering adding is Flashbacks.

(For context, Russel and Stan are estranged from their parents and never want to see either of them again. Things are rough with just the two of them and no real support network, but its established pretty early in that whatever hardships come from that are much preferred over how things were before they moved out together)

I think the closest thing to a flashback that happens is Stan having a very vague dream about the past, and initially I decided not to put in flashbacks to their life before because... well, mostly because they BOTH very much want to forget and move on, and I think through the story it's established that something Bad Happened and at a certain point its pretty obvious what that Thing was. I guess, in my mind, by not having flashbacks it's a bit of suspense involving what actually happened... but like, a flashback obviously doesn't NEED to explain exactly what happened, and I don't want to write any part of the actual Singular Terrible Event bc, in my mind, it works better as these little puzzle pieces that slowly but surely come together to be like. Wow. That sucks!

Outside of the story and just for some character development reasons, I did actually write a flashback after the Bad Thing and before the two moved out where Stan initially comes out to Russel. When I go back and read it, it does hit kind of hard.

So I'm a little torn between the narrative of "there aren't flashbacks because they are both in the PRESENT and don't want to even THINK about before" and the narrative of "here's small snippets of what it was like so you can understand how bad some of it was and WHY both of them are happy to be where they are." I'm doing mental math on what version of this is more appealing to a reader, like I want some stuff to be vague and some stuff to be obvious but man I don't know what's more COMPELLING for the characters. The reason for Stan's vague dream (the only thing even close to a flashback) is to establish that whatever happened was REALLY BAD and that Stan, even more than Russel, has not gotten over how traumatic it was even if he pretends to.

SIGH I dunno, just writing down some thoughts! There are things that complicate the flashback idea (namely that any flashback before a certain point would have to dance around misgendering/deadnaming Stan, which I would prefer to avoid and I'm sure I could do so with a lil creative finagling, and also that I don't want to give their parents names or characters bc they're not ever gonna make an appearance even if they are important to how Stan and Russel turned out) sooo yeah I'm just yapping!

[whoslaurapalmer]

lulu i just want to say i'm in LOVE with your post-canon fic and also in tears (actually in tears literally not metaphorically) i'm just feeling so emotional about them all of them. they're a family. the way Frank and Ernest says "that's a painting of my brother", the comical-ness of confusion from the guests' point of view mixed with the heavier reminder of the past of how Dewey's gone, but also the way he doesn't have to be a secret now (even though most people still don't know" and they can put a portrait of him up there for people to see. and the way frank gets exactly what ernest meant when he wants the portrait to look like dewey. and frank and babybea's conversation. i'm just rereading it again and again and getting so many feelings ahhhh

awwww vera!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖 i'm so pleased i have. made people cry. i love doing post-canon thoughts bc i think they are all such a precious family and they all deserve family!!!! and love!!! and there's lots of ways to show love!!!!! and babybea and all these people who love her, it's just...............AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i put in the painting just as like. something i thought was silly, but then i thought, 'nope, you gotta see that one through.' i love the thought that of course frank and ernest would not open a hotel without the memory of dewey somewhere, and yeah! he doesn't have to be a secret anymore, it doesn't matter, but it still. kind of winds up being a secret, bc no one believes they're triplets. it's a tribute to your brother but your brother looks just like you and how can you differentiate to people who didn't even know him but it's so IMPORTANT that it's dewey and not anybody else!!!! but!!!!! he's there!! his memory is there and his brothers are there and his family is there and his LOVE is there in the lobby when babybea sits with frank!!!!!! that's what the point is!!!!!!! and now i'm gonna fucking cry!!!!!!!! sometimes it really all just is about love, in all kinds of ways. i love doing cozy (and silly.) (silly is a big requirement. hashtag pretzel indeed) family vibes. we need more of them post-canon. i always want to write more but sometimes i have a hard time getting the thoughts to make sense in words. what i started trying to do was stuff about babybea's back to school night, which was actually like, becoming less about family and more about, the place of lemony's books in the public consciousness of the snicketverse society, but i was not in the mood to address the complicated vibes of 'i mean, people had to witness some of this stuff, but i also think it's the most ideal, in terms of humor and also, How Terrible People Are, if they don't believe it really happened.' and that's just, a lot of complicated things to parse out (and part of what i want to get into in my sunny fic................eventually.............). ANYWAY. i really did just want to write about this family. i hold them very dear in my heart. nothing i love more than post-canon slow imperfect but glorious happiness.

also, i did not intend to write about frank? frank is the denouement i think about the least (sorry, frank) (i just enjoy rotating ernest around in my head so much..........). but idk, it felt like it needed to be his moment with his niece and his decision about the pumpkin. i think he and babybea get along better, from this point on. he's less nervous around her. they do more ships in bottles together, and probably big puzzles. like, 1000-piece puzzles. sometimes i also think i write babybea as not quite as old as she actually would be at this point, like, fuck does she act twelve???? (but also, she's been through a lot.) but i also think she really does keep a great deal of like. childhood joy in her, all throughout her life. she really deserves that, too.

oh, you know what..........i gotta get ramona into this at some point too. i keep MEANING too but there is always so much to discuss post-canon that i still haven't managed to get her in yet. my apologies as well, r.........

[masterwords]

two tickets to paradise (ch 7)

Summary: Derek takes Hotch on a much-needed vacation. (Post-Route 66)

Pairings: Hotch/Morgan

Warnings: booze and sex. literally nothing else to this chapter. (not graphic.)

Words: 1.7k

Notes: It occurs to me that I didn't post the last chapter or two here so you may need to head over to AO3 and catch up before reading this one...sorry. (Chapter 5, Chapter 6) I haven't had a lot of time (or brainpower) to write lately but this fic is like a happy place. It's so soft. It's mostly unedited, I'm sorry, but either I fully edit things and they never get posted or I just throw it to the wind and hope for the best and you get content. I don't know what else to do with my brain at this point. Oh, hey, if you have anything vacation specific, you'd like to see them do...I have no plans here, feel free to pop into my requests and I'll try to make it happen. I have an ending planned and it *could* be the next chapter but I really want to sort of keep them here for a while...

Read on AO3: two tickets to paradise

**

“I don't think that piece goes there,” Hotch said quietly, shifting on his bar stool to get a better look. Their wide front window was thrown open, letting in the evening breeze (and the bugs with it). Outside waves crashed against pearl white sand and stars began popping to life while the sky darkened shade by shade.

“It fits...” Derek argued, but Hotch frowned and poked at it a little, exposing the smallest gap in the curve at the top.

“Not quite. Beer might help you play pool or volleyball, but it's definitely not helping you with this puzzle.”

“Ohhhh...shots fired...”

Derek slammed the last of his beer and grinned, waggling his eyebrows. It was a move that never failed to amuse Hotch, even if it did also indicate that Derek was doing something he knew that Hotch found troublesome or irritating. Without even blinking, Derek grabbed a piece and shoved it into place...the wrong place. Not just a little wrong, either. It was red, part of the parrot's wing, and he forced it in right where the beak should be.

Hotch narrowed his eyes. “Derek.”

“May I help you?” He grabbed another piece, green this time, and slipped it right in beside the red one. He thought he saw Hotch's eye twitch. “What's the matter?”

“You're going to ruin the pieces.”

Derek did it again. Another green one. Hotch sighed.

“This puzzle doesn't belong to us.”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

Ah, there it was, Hotch thought. Derek wanted to stop putting the puzzle together and put something else together instead. His eyes danced over the burnished gold flickering on his finger, and he couldn't help it...he gave in without further prodding.

Derek's hand hovered over the puzzle dangerously, his eyes full of warm sparks. Hotch shook his head. “Don't you dare...”

“It's either the puzzle or you. I'm sweeping one of ya...”

Hotch scooted his bar stool back, an open invitation. He had grand plans to finish the damn puzzle. Wasting no time, Derek flew around the end of the table and slammed into Hotch, chest to chest, arms wrapping tight around him. The stool crashed to the floor but Derek managed to get his trajectory shockingly accurate and the two of them landed in a heap on the bed. Hotch gasped air back into his lungs before Derek and his sweet and sour beer breath leaned in for the first of many overly eager kisses. Hotch struggled beneath him to try and scoot them further up onto the bed, to get some leverage before twisting and grinding his hips against Derek's.

Outside was the sound of sea crashing against sand, an evening tidal surf creeping closer and closer to their secret abode, but inside was the sound of clothes being discarded haphazardly, tossed at the table and sliding the puzzle in a careless shower to the floor. Outside the night creatures cooed and murmured and inside they created their own wild symphony of flesh and moans and sweat.

Later, as their heartbeats returned to normal and they lay sprawled naked on the bed, Hotch sighed.

“Can I tell you something ridiculous?”

“I'd love it.” Derek propped himself up on one elbow and watched Hotch furrow his brow, search for words that were just out of reach. He wasn't one to bare his soul, one to speak those inside words, but here he was trying so hard to do just that.

“Don't laugh.”

“I wouldn't dare.” They both knew that was a lie, but it was a risk Hotch was prepared to take. This time.

“This feels like a dream. I'm going to wake up from this morphine induced dream and I'll be in the hospital staring up at the stained ceiling, and I'll be alone.”

Derek frowned. It didn't seem funny at all. “Why?”

He wasn't prepared to answer questions. “I don't know. I suppose it just seems too good to be true. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“No other shoe. Come on, roll over. Let me rub that aching back of yours, that's the problem. You're just feeling old...but that's not so bad. Getting old has perks. Like your big, strong, handsome fiancé giving you all the massages you could ever want...”

Derek's thumbs pressed small circles at the base of Hotch's spine, digging deep into sweat slick muscle. They slid, from inside to outside, rounding the curve of his hips and making their way back up. Over and over, fast and then slow, hard and then soft. Hotch rested his cheek against his arm and let his eyes drift closed, tried to relax into the motion.

Derek yawned deep, perched naked on the back of Hotch's thighs, his eyes trailing first over the expanse of skin and then up and out the window into the dark. They'd missed the sunset by a long shot, building their puzzle and playing their games. Missed it, but didn't mind, not this time. Derek thought about walking under the stars, hand in hand, and continued pressing life into that deep ache.

The most surprising part was that Hotch never protested, never claimed that he felt better and Derek could stop. He just hummed pleasantly and let it happen.

Derek's yawns expanded his entire chest. Blew it wide open and his tired eyes would nearly slip shut until they lit on the crashing waves that swept closer and closer to their little hideaway. The tide had come in, crept up on them sometime after the sun sank deep behind the horizon. His yawns sounded like a big cat purring and Hotch hummed a little louder when Derek hit the spot. It lit his world up bright and then settled into a low and deep sense of relief. The best kind.

“You wanna take a walk?” Derek asked, surprising even himself. Something about those waves and their sudden proximity, the way the silver moonlight pooled and twisted like watercolors bleeding together was calling to him. Wet sandy feet and sweaty skin cooled by the midnight breeze. Hotch nodded and twisted beneath Derek's legs, for a moment wondering if Derek might be up for something else but Derek looked too serious about leaving, about walking. He'd proposition him for round two later.

“Love to,” he answered finally. Quietly, reverently, blinking owlishly at the man perched on top of him. His hands rested against Derek's thighs and once again he found himself staring at that ring. It still felt too surreal.

They tugged blankets around their shoulders but wandered out naked. Hotch pulled his blanket tight around him, leaving only one hand exposed...he was naked, he was trying to let go, but he was also still fully covered. They had neighbors who were probably sleeping, but if they weren't, he didn't think they'd enjoy the show he put on. Derek wore his loose, more like a cape, and he struck an almost godly form as his feet hit the patio. The tiny swimming pool, his home away from home, glittered and reflected the starlight while Derek laced their fingers together and pulled him beyond their small patio and onto the cold sand. Derek kept their pace slow, he wasn't out here to put in distance, he just wanted to tease the waves into coming to meet him.

They wandered out and back slowly. Derek shed his blanket halfway, preferring to enjoy the breeze everywhere he could. Hotch hugged the second blanket around himself gladly. He was cold, and felt unbearably old all of a sudden. A swirl of exhaustion and soreness, nothing he could do much about but Derek guided him to the pool upon their return and there was that eyebrow waggle again. “We missed the sunset...let's watch the sunrise in here.” He whispered the last, unbearably close. Hotch glanced in the direction of their wide open picture window, the warm bed looking so incredibly inviting, but Derek would always win. He barely even had to try anymore.

He knew he was going to shiver, his skin would erupt in waves of goosebumps, and Derek would wrap himself around Hotch to try and stave off the chill. The kissing came next, the roaming hands, and somewhere around the steps Hotch got his round two right out there in the open. Slipping into the icy water after that was heaven.

They watched the sky go from inky black to deep blue to gray and the stars slowly blinked out of sight, snatched up by the sun and stored away for later.

“Do you still hate the beach?”

Hotch let out a low whine. He'd forgotten he'd ever been so silly as to say those words aloud. He knew better. He watched the pool water distort the view of his feet way down below. Weightless he floated, the ache in his back a distant memory here, and he thought if it wasn't so cold he could probably actually sleep here. His eyes wanted to close desperately, and he turned, resting his arms against the edge. Slowly he let his head fall, resting his cheek against his cold forearm. He didn't answer Derek, wouldn't dignify it with anything that could be used in the future against him.

Derek didn't plan to let him stay silent forever. Arms snaked around Hotch's waist from behind and Derek began kissing the back of his neck, his chlorine-soaked shoulders and grinning there against his skin. He pulled Hotch to him, dragging his left hand to his lips, kissing the thick metal band now circling his finger and smiling there against his knuckles. “No,” Hotch said finally. “I suppose not.”

“Good. Because we've got a honeymoon to start planning...I'm thinking Tahiti.”

[theroundbartable]

Hi! I hope you're doing well! I've been wanting to write to you for ages because I've been reading and rereading and rerereading you and I think your writing is brilliant. Sorry, I'm going to be a bit personal because I can't imagine not being personal here, I find it difficult to express how much your writing touched me otherwise. But you can jump into the last paragraph directly if you don't want to interact with that, because awkard. Very randomly, I came across your work in a very strange time in my life earlier this year when my brain decided to echo something I didn't know was there, but that's not what's important here. What I want to say is: everything you wrote resonated that much deeper. I'm thinking especially about Everything I Do and The Regent (experience is experience and everyone is different and I don't want to make it about me, but thanks to those two fics especially I've been able to put into words things I've been feeling for years and I could use that to describe what was happening without feeling as lost, like if it exists in a story, it's not just me anymore, there is a sense to it, it's real too). BUT also, as someone who appreciates good writing, oh my god it's brilliant. Both the Regent and Everything I Do (still the ones I read the most) felt like a maze and everyting still made sense and all the characters were brilliant and fitted together and each time a revelation happened it was like "oh of course!" and everything falls into place. As I reread them I just find new details and puzzle pieces and it's a joy. I feel you make it so easy to understand what your characters are feeling and why they do what they do without overexplaining, excusing or killing the mystery. It's that extremely human mess, people not yet able to know why they do what they do, that is so difficult to write, I find. Like how things just happen but it makes sense if you think about it but also it doesn't have to as long as you trust it makes sense to the character, and I definitely trust your characters. So yeah. Thank you. Danke. I don't really ever post or anything, I'm just here to read but it felt selfish here not to say anything. I hope you have a lovely evening!

Don't be sorry, gosh this warms my heart, you have no idea. :)

Everything I do and Regent are both stories that are deeply personal to me. They both helped me get through some things and explain things to myself. So a part of that mess is literally me, being that mess myself and figuring stuff out. And I wrote them because I hoped to reach some people who struggle with similar things.

I just... Every time I post something, it is my wish that it makes someone laugh, makes someone think or feel. And I hope to help people understand. Either themselves or perhaps some other broader concept. It's rarely the stories I hold dear most that seem to reach that goal. It gives me purpose in a way.

To see that those two, the ones that I may as well have ripped right from my soul, reach you in this way moves me immensely. i really hope you're alright. I know the echo. It can be tough. (The analogy is spot on, not gonna lie.)

You're not selfish, no matter whether or not you had told me this. Thank you that you did. It means so much to me to know this.<3

[zannolin]

18, 20, 23

18. how do what you look for in your own writing vs someone else’s coincide? how does your writing influence your reading?

good grammar. GOOD GRAMMAR. good fucking grammar. please god let the grammar be good. if i see passive voice used unnecessarily i will just start killing. anyone who has had to listen to me talk about writing knows this. outside of that. i don't really know what i'm "looking for" in my writing i think i'm just writing to expel the demons from the washing machine rinse cycle of my brain. when i read, i want to be able to tell that the author cared, and not just cared about the story they were telling, but cared enough to tell it well. cared enough to know what to leave it and what to take out. you know the t kira madden tweet.

i think i tend to gravitate towards more highly specific stories because of my writing (ann patchett books, for example, or niche aus in the realm of fanfic) but i dunno i'm willing to read a lot. i can tell you how my reading influences my writing but i've never considered the other way around.

20. where do you begin a WIP? ex: a mood, a scene, a certain character dynamic, etc. does this differ per project?

it varies. usually i will be watching/reading/etc something else and go hey this vibe fits x character and it can spiral from there. this is how the gospel tent au was born (i watched an episode of x files and the plot spun itself out pretty wild from there). generally i see the parts that work and figure out how to thread them together differently to fit what story i want to tell. for non-specific aus or canon universe writing it's usually i happen to have a lot of scene ideas build up and i put them all together like a jigsaw puzzle. sometimes i'll want to fill the missing pieces (this is what my mithan fic is a combination of: gap in canon and a ton of scene ideas). sometimes it's purely an aesthetic or motif or character dynamic that niggles at me til i write something. the leon and claire fic i posted today was purely me feeling unhinged over their dynamic in infinite darkness and wanting to explore it. i dunno i'm a jack of all trades. my brain will just start monologuing and i have to write it down or forget it immediately.

23. what do you do to engage with your projects which isn’t actually writing? ex: playlists, pinterest boards, etc. how much do they play a role in the development of your work?

i USED to do playlists for my fics (and just in general) but i don't tend to do that much anymore. i do sometimes make playlists specifically for brainrot though i use my ipod more than spotify so i don't really know Why. there's one for cat's cradle which, huge L. there's one for the ABBA au. there's a l'manberg one lurking somewhere but i think i made that one secret or something. there's a winters family playlist i occasionally yeet stuff on and i also have a playlist of songs i want my writing to feel like which is incredibly self indulgent but fun. the playlists don't really do much they're just for fun and good for stealing lyrics for chapter titles.

i do pinterest boards for a lot of aus as well which is a good way to scroll around until i get inspiration and/or to find things i was keeping on hand for epigraphs. i also doodle stuff for my writing sometimes bc well somebody's gotta make me fanart and it looks like it's gonna have to be me. drawing is good for conceptualizing designs if i need them like for the final girl au but mostly everything is just for fun and can be used as a successful procrastination method to avoid Actually writing.

ask game.

[firstaidspray]

Birthday Countdown Revchase Snippets - Day 15

To celebrate Valentine's month as well as my birthday month, I'm going to post a snippet of Revchase every day until my birthday, using these prompts- there are 25 so it leads right up to my birthday!! Give it up for day 15!! Part of this I would like to dedicate to @/marthammasters for the idea that Chase loves to do puzzles ^_^

15- Write about your ship spending a lazy afternoon together. 

Pairing: Robert Chase/Reverie (oc)

Media: House MD

Word Count: 825

Rating: T

CW: None

Rare are days that Chase's shift ends in the afternoon. Reverie, sure– surgery hours can be any time– but House's hours for Chase and the other fellows are usually fairly rigid. So it's nice that he is able to curl up next to Reverie on the couch on a lazy afternoon, free of responsibility and stress.

They watch TV together for a while, a marathon of random comedy movies. It's this way that Chase learns Reverie will laugh at almost anything, regardless of how stupid it is. Well, he knew she was easy to entertain in the humor department, but not this much. He stores that knowledge for later, sure that it will come in handy someday.

After a few hours of movies, Reverie stretches out and lays her head in Chase's lap. He instantly blushes, the sensation of her being there not unwelcome but also not common. She nuzzles into his thigh and makes a strange groaning sound, that of annoyance and boredom.

“I'm bored to death,” she mutters against Chase's leg. “Let's do something else.”

Chase laughs. “This was your idea, don't act like the boredom is my fault.”

Reverie groans again. “What should we doooo, Chase? Having a day off is so weird.”

He tilts his head in thought. “How about we finish that jellyfish puzzle you stole from that beach house we rented last year?”

She leans up on her elbow. “Is that thing still partially put together? I thought I shoved it back in the container so I could properly take the whole thing.”

“No, part of it is still out on a cardboard sheet. You wanted to hang it up when it's done, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Reverie recalls, sitting up. “Okay, let's do the puzzle. And we will finish it before the day is over.”

Chase smiles. “Sounds good to me.”

The two get up and Reverie digs in the cabinet to find a folded over cardboard sheet, housing a small portion of a puzzle that's been put together. Chase grabs the other pieces, held in a cylindrical container with the photo of the finished product on it. The puzzle is a diagram of various jellyfish species with their scientific names next to them. It's a beautiful and interesting puzzle, which fits the mild nautical theme of Reverie’s home.

“Here we go,” Reverie says, spreading out the sheet on the coffee table. “We haven't even completed a single species. I doubt we'll get this done by tonight.”

“Have a bit more faith in our abilities,” Chase laughs, dumping the other pieces on the table. “Okay, you want to try for corners and edges, or a specific part of the photo?”

Reverie eyes the photo on the container and squints. “Hmm…I'm gonna try to do that one.” She points at the portion of the puzzle depicting the sea nettles. “You can have the edges and corners. That shit bores me anyways.”

Chase clicks his tongue and takes a few flat-edged pieces into his pile. “Suit yourself. You put together those nettles.”

After a few minutes of putting pieces together in silence, Reverie huffs in frustration and slams her hands on the table, rattling the puzzle.

“Whoa, what's wrong?” Chase asks.

“It's too damn quiet in here!” Reverie complains, standing up and heading to the stereo system. “I'm putting on music. Any requests?”

He shakes his head. “No, not really. Whatever will calm you down.”

After perusing the CDs in her collection, Reverie picks out Alice in Chains’ self-titled album. She returns to the table and begins to sort through puzzle pieces once more, now calmed by the presence of Layne Staley's voice. Chase smiles as he listens not only to the songs playing, but Reverie singing them softly to herself.

It takes that entire album and almost all of Stone Temple Pilots’ “No. 4,” but eventually, Reverie and Chase complete the puzzle. At least, they complete what they could– there are two pieces missing.

“They have to be here,” Chase says as he tries to shake the container again, to no avail. “Why wouldn't they be?”

“Stupid beach house, bet some other cunts who stayed there lost the pieces!” Reverie snaps as she crawls around on the floor, checking the rug and under the couch for the missing pieces, also producing no results.

Chase shrugs. “Ah well. It still turned out nice, eh? Look.”

He gestures at the puzzle. It depicts a well-drawn and designed diagram of several species of jellyfish, all floating at different levels of the ocean, their taxonomic names written to the side. One of said names is incomplete thanks to the missing pieces, and a chunk of the moon jellyfish is gone, but otherwise, the puzzle looks just fine. Reverie nods in agreement, despite the parts missing.

“Yeah, it looks good,” Reverie says with a sigh of resignation. “And I had fun doing it.”

“Me too,” Chase agrees. “A good use of a lazy afternoon off.”

[euphoricfilter]

hehe* alright then. if i'm 🎀 anon, then ur darling. it's a deal 🤝😌

i think the links are working now too :) ! but ofc u never know when it comes to this site lmao but still thinking positive thoughts ofc !! i honestly feel u on the updates tho. i think this recent update has been all over the place- i mean,, not to be be mean,, but i wanna know WHO thought it was a good idea take the home button out of the main navigation and put in such a random ass spot then proceed to not give the home button the home icon???? like bfr😭😭😭 and don't get me started on whatever that tumblr live mess is💀- sweeties just pack it up

okay cool cool, i'll request in a different ask since this is getting a lil lengthy lol. but oooo what puzzle did u end up doing ! puzzle are always fun .. sometimes frustrating .. but still fun haha*. i hope u have a good rest of ur day ! 🎀💕

yay yay okie!!

i’m slowly collecting cute nicknames 😋 you guys have me giggling, kicking my legs, twirling my hair or whatever

this hellsite needs to sort itself out 😭 secrets out i’m a massive hater, so i hope tumblr takes full offense on this one

no seriously like i know they want to promote their crusty ass merch but no one wants it for a reason.. sales aren’t gonna shoot up just because you put your store in the most convenient place, like please just change it back 🧎🏻‍���️ the only good thing that came out of the update was polls. I HATW TUMBLR LIVE i’m never gonna use it, please please please get rid of it!!!!!! there’s like a million other apps people can go live on, we don’t need it here 😟 the most infuriating part is the ‘read more’ fucks up posts, like i cant even write on mobile anymore because the readmore line completely changes chunks of text 🧍‍♀️ and i had the worst night of my life when i posted ‘star girl’ because the read more had glitches the text and just yeah, it’s super lame

oooo a couple of years ago i think, my parents bought me this bts puzzle for christmas it’s like the love yourself/ speak yourself tour one, it’s really hard because there’s a shit ton of flowers that all look the same and they’re tiny so i was sat there for hours trying to figure it out 😭 and i still only got the easy white border done. my dad said that i should try and piece together all the boys and then work around them and maybe that’ll make it easier so i might try that today after i get a little productive 🧍‍♀️

i hope you have a nice rest of your day too!! however long of it you have left!!! and i’m excited to see your request 🫶

[deepbluewithyellow]

@kingsandbastardz

(I need to ease my mind since I have a difficult exam tomorrow, wish me luck plz:"))

Warning: This post is solely my opinion. Should you not like something in it, simply stop reading. Thanks. Moreover, these ideas are to be used in my own storywriting so give credits in case you're gonna use it. More thanks.

Yun Biqiu and Jiao Liqiao: When a Girlboss Wounds A Man's Pride

One of the downsides of MLC (and apparently every cdrama) is underdeveloped (i. e. cardboard) side characters who play an important part in contributing to the main storyline but their motives remain unsaid and their history unknown.

Here I'm going to attempt exploring just how Yun Biqiu could undermine Jiao Liqiao, with all her bossiness and domineering aura.

Forgive my English in advance. I'm writing this post on the go so it's obviously not beta-read.

Thanks:) Now, on with the analysis:)

(Sorry for the promotion but) In my fic (link in my pinned post), Di Feisheng tells a poisoned Biqiu, "She likes to think she's smart, so you gave her that. I shall applaud you for it."

And I put that there on purpose 😁 since I had the following ideas to go on with this:

I think Yun Biqiu tried to decipher Jiao Liqiao's personality and use her blindspots to his own advantage. Jiao Liqiao is the typical girlboss who's completely lost it and thinks she knows men enough to dominate every one of them. In my opinion, she has too much trust in her seduction abilities (remember when Di Feisheng tossed her in a dungeon full of crazy beings and her face is kinda destroyed, she held lots of grudge against him) and this possibly contributed to her being blind to what men would actually do around her. It's actually pretty easy for a smart man whose pride is more or less wounded by her, to undermine her using the faults of her personality.

I think she was infatuated with Biqiu to some degree: He's (or at least used to be) the handsome sage after all and is a millitary strategist, therefore he has something that a smart girl would look out for no matter how much of a girlboss she is. I say this since Jiao Liqiao is so determined into making Di Feisheng the best martial artist existing and then marrying him, to the point that she seduced Yun Biqiu to stop his defeat. So she cares too much about what sort of men she thinks deserve to be by her side and actually falls for a man's image and not true self, which makes her the most typical woman despite her being a girlboss and everything. Thus she subconsciously looks out for a combination of position, looks, and mental prowess of a man. Di Feisheng is more a martial artist, doesn't care that much about wisdom (in comparison to someone like Biqiu) and isn't known for being too handsome (I haven't read the novel but according to @mademoiselle-red, Li Xiangyi, handsome himself, calls Biqiu beautiful in practically every step he takes within the Sigu sect. That's definitely something to me). This makes me think that Jiao Liqiao sees men too incomplete to fulfill her desires and wants a man too perfect that goes beyond the limitations of this world. She wants the impossible, which cannot be achieved.

She expresses a liking for Biqiu (gentle temperament, mental prowess, great looks). She teases Li Xiangyi (mental sharpness, unparalleled martial arts even when he hits the bottom, good looks to some degree, sweet tongue) to marry him. Di Feisheng (Power, strength, handsomeness, leadership abilities) is her obsession. These three men complete the imagery she has in her mind of a man. They are the puzzle pieces that she seeks to put together in order to fulfill her desires.

I am still puzzled about why exactly Biqiu fell for Jiao Liqiao. When they reunite after ten years, he tells her that "Everyone in the Jianghu admires you and I am no exception." Jiao Liqiao is a seductress but she's also powerful which shows her inner capabilities. This tells me that Yun Biqiu, although having a good sense of aesthetics, likes women who are at least mentally his equal. Jiao Liqiao fits his tastes accurately. But he's scared of looking at her. Do his desires scare him that much? I don't think so. I think Jiao Liqiao knows something about him that no one, even his comrades at Sigu sect, know to full extents. I think he's more afraid that she plays some old card against him and defame him. What are those cards? I have left it to explore in my fic *winks*.

Yun Biqiu is a renowned sage. He's good at creating strategies and designing defense mechanisms (in other words, he's a millitary strategist and mechanical engineer). He's in a sense the most reliable member of Fubi Baishi since he is the one gone idiot with reading and uses his brain the most. It's safe to assume that he prides himself on these despite Li Xiangyi making him swear not to push his disciples towards his own path. He has a gentle temperament and reserved personality. But Jiao Liqiao abuses all of these and ruins all he prides himself on. He is no longer the most reliable. Everyone looks down on him and disrespects him during any heated or sensitive discussion. He's forced to live in seclusion lest the full extent of his sins comes to light. He loses almost everyone whom he loves or admires. All for a woman who lied to her. This is typically too much for a man.

Why do I think it exists? Because even with all the mankind's modern abilities in forensics and discovering evidence, it's a hell of work to prove someone was "seduced" or "bewitched" by someone. We have little to no magic at work across the Jianghu and the detectives of Baichuan Court use hard evidence and deductions (much like us) to solve their cases. So there must be some hard evidence of her manipulation (e. g. a letter of blackmail).

He sits down and reviews what he knows of Jiao Liqiao and Di Feisheng. Yeah she must be helping him again. But wait, he has already deduced that people are merely tools in her eyes; the steps of a ladder she climbs towards utmost power. What if Di Feisheng is also a tool? He should look into this matter more. He later learns that Di Feisheng tags along Li Lianhua with zero complaints. He smells hella rats. Something isn't right here. If everything was the result of simple matters then why has it all resurfaced after ten years? Is Di Feisheng exactly the cold hearted assassin they all think him to be? If he is, why is he tagging along Fang Duobing and Li Lianhua? Why isn't Fang Duobing on bad terms with him? (he wasn't that surprised when all the Baichuan people thought Li Lianhua is in cahoots with Di Feisheng, so he must know him).

He still has some light within himself. He has torn his mind apart these past ten years. He must know where were his weak spots. He thinks he caused too many deaths and has little to live for. Moreover, that supposed card Jiao Liqiao is playing against him will definitely come to light someday and he cannot look into his brothers' faces. So, he makes up his mind about his legacy in this world.

Biqiu is good at spotting the details of mechanical defenses, he is an avid reader and since he's inspired by Confucian philosophy, and Sun Tzu emerged a couple of centuries after Confucius, I can assume he's also well versed in Sun Tzu's strategies. He uses all his knowledge and to his own spite, his good looks, and appears defeated at the feet of Jiao Liqiao. I can imagine that, in order to make sure that she thinks she has the upper hand, he taught her some mechanical engineering but with a lot of holes in it, and he did these during the times he tried to lower her guard by playing infatuated. She would think she has all his mind to herself while he is silently sharpening his sword behind her back, to strike at the right moment. No one else finds out about this since Jiao Liqiao cannot handle having too many men outsmarting him around her and therefore she has chosen her gang members solely based on martial prowess and loyalty.

When she asks for extremely powerful mechanisms, he puts two and two together and realizes that those sorts of traps is meant for powerful martial artists like Di Feisheng. It is safe to assume it is confirmed for him that Jiao Liqiao is the real culprit and Di Feisheng is a tool in her hands. He creates them, takes her to see them, and she is high up in the skies for seeing through these mechanisms this obviously. Biqiu cannot believe she has fallen for his psychological trap. He plays along and praises her for seeing what others won't see, but alas, what he made is for everyone to see.

He doesn't need to dirty his hands to get rid of Jiao Liqiao. This is not considered a victory for a man. What makes him more satisfied is sitting back and watch how she falls due to her own blindness. He knows that Di Feisheng tags along Li Lianhua (and he knows LLH's true identity). Another two and two: Jiao Liqiao wants mechanisms to keep someone like Di Feisheng down. Di Feisheng tags along Li Xiangyi and doesn't kill him despite knowing him (when JLQ knows, he must know, too). So he deduces that there's something more to Di Feisheng that Li Xiangyi knows and he doesn't. He decides to trust that and not to eliminate DFS and let him deal with JLQ. He thinks that, it's a safe bet to make since DFS cares way more about power and doesn't go easy over someone trying to bring him down. He hopes that when Jiao Liqiao's true motives are exposed, he's going to clean the world of her mess. Or in another way, he thinks it's enough to clean the world of his mess, and leave the rest to others.

He thinks he's done enough and stands trial willingly to die. But he forgets that his light will finally find a way out to show itself to the world.

JLQ was supposedly hoping against having to attic wife DFS but she fully had Biqiu prepare an iron shielded room just to cage DFS in. (And who knows what else was in that room?) It takes time to design, plan, source and build something like that. Like... months in advance. It had like... spring loaded and extremely THICK chains meant to capture strong ppl with. So he even planned for someone with actual power levels trying to escape or fight. There were arrays and traps surrounding the entire building, both facing outward for attackers and facing the building for escapees. Which means they were prepared for possible rescuers.

Yun Biqiu designed and built that for her. I honestly wonder what he was thinking or how he managed his character portrayal in front of her. Where he's supposed to be enthralled by her and yet he's building a cage for her obsession. Did he have to fake jealousy and reconciliation to be believable?

We can hear DFS pounding on the walls from within when he gets trapped in there. (And how specific a placement it is to be on top of the wedding/bedroom chambers?) Did Biqiu deliberately mess up the creation of that room like he did with the traps outside? Or does he actually hold any residual feelings for JLQ? Or does he see an opportunity to act out his resentment for being in this situation to begin with?

How easy would it be for this one location to be the one spot that's a true trap? Did he ever think even for a moment that he can rig it so when JLQ enters, the room locks down and entombs her?

DFS, who literally everyone saw is now powerless, would be a dead man anyway. He's just another villian to be taken down as collateral damage. Depending on the situation, Biqiu feasibly could walk away without anyone ever knowing there is anyone up there.

[matan4il]

Hi!! First love all your meta! It’s so fascinating to read and as a film student a lot of your analysis is how I’ve analyzed it though there’s always something I didn’t notice that you did!

Quick question - you mentioned waiting 8 seasons for a ship where one married and had a kid then they got together and one died…and it sounds just so familiar but I can’t put my finger on it. What show / ship was that?? (Btw I agree with everything else in that post lol)

Hi, lovely Nonnie! Awwww, thank you so much for the kind words! :D Ooooh, you're a film student, I'm sure you're kicking ass at your studies, and I hope you're enjoying it, too! Please never hesitate to come talk to me about anything film related if you feel like it, I love TV and films in general. And I'm so glad we analyze Buddie the same way, and thrilled I can still add something new to the mix! *hugs big*

Oooh. OK, IDK if there's more than one show out there that fits that description, though I suspect the answer is sadly yes, 'coz TV showrunners can be pricks, but in my case, I was referring to The Blacklist, and the ship is Ressler and Liz (aka Keenler).

I wasn't gonna ramble about them, 'coz while I've watched the entire show, I was never an active part of the fandom, but since I got this ask... Let me just preface this by saying I think TBL is an excellent show, but it IS set in a dark world, so it’s not necessarily for everyone, unlike 911. Also, I will ramble for a sec, but I promise everything I’ll say will relate to Buddie at the end.

So, one of the things that makes TBL excellent is it's a show built around a central mystery, that they manage to make complex enough in order to stretch the mystery over 8 years, and yet the solution we learn in eps 821/822 (the finale of s8) is so organic that it actually fits EVERYTHING, all the little clues, insanely well, down to what seems like nonsensical throwaway comments in s1, and making even clues that seemed to contradict each other finally make sense and fit together. But that requires A LOT of planning ahead. I'm not saying things didn't change along the road when it comes to the exact sequence of steps that led to solving the mystery, some things did, like Liz's actress getting pregnant and that being written into the show, but the end goal of what the solution was and how all the pieces of the mystery puzzle fit together, and what elements would be necessary to get us there, they clearly had that goal in mind and it never changed, allowing them to plant hints, partial reveals and promises in such an effective manner along the way.

This amount of planning ahead is also relevant to Keenler. 'Coz when I watched s1, at first I didn't notice Ressler and Liz. TBL built such a mystery around Tom for Liz to decipher, it didn't look like she was even noticing anyone else, while Ressler had a laser focus on Red (after all, he's been chasing Red for 5 years). But by ep 104, it's Ressler's arms that Liz allows herself to fall apart in, and it's clear he probably already liked her to some degree (the way he checks up on her a little earlier in that ep is SO tender), but when Liz lets go, you can tell that this really managed to break through the walls he had built around himself. Still, what sealed things for me, that the show was planning on doing something with Liz and Ressler at some point, was ep 105. Because it seems to be keeping Liz completely preoccupied with the Tom mystery, yet you can tell she's taken a real interest in Ressler, unlike anything she was showing towards any other Task Force member at that point. It made the special attention they're paying to each other mutual, and highlighted their bond. So 105 is when I became convinced something is coming for these two. I just didn't know when.

Lemme tell you, I did not expect the show to drag out things with Tom - when he's clearly implied to be the wrong guy for Liz from the start - for as long as they did, and to throw in a wedding and a baby, too. Seriously, everyone shipping Keenler deserves a medal. And if you think we only have crumbs with Buddie at times, with Keenler we had microscopic ones. I once went an entire season on the way Liz looked at the spot on her arm that Ressler touched while he tried to comfort and reassure her. But I kept in mind that by ep 301, Ressler's feelings for Liz were kinda canon in my book. Red, whose devoted parental love for Liz is one of the reasons I kept watching, mentions the importance of Ressler's feelings for Liz (though he doesn't explicitly call those feelings love, which means that it's still not technically canon, the way Red words it when he could have talked about the importance of Ressler's friendship or loyalty to Liz, that's why I think it is subtextually canon from this point on). So what I took from this was that Ressler is already in love with Liz, that Red knows (and quietly approves, which is echoed in the talk he and Ressler have in ep 901), and that if Ressler wasn't aware of his own feelings before, he had to be aware of them after Red's words.

And yet, we still had to wait until 717 for Liz to explicitly express how much Ressler means to her, that she can't live without him, and until 801 for them to even kiss.

But the reason why we had to wait so long is a part of what makes this ship so good! Because the first 8 seasons of TBL are about the tragedy of Liz, whose fate is to a great degree shaped by the lies and manipulations of key people in her life. Some lie to her because they believe they're protecting her (like Red and Dom), while others lie to her 'coz they want something from her (like Tom and Tatiana Petrova). But as Liz says when she finally confesses her love in 819, Ressler was the one person who didn't lie to her, who was just there for her. That makes him truly stand out in her life. But it's more than that. What Tom wanted from Liz was her love and he didn't care what he had to do in order to get it, he was willing to lie, manipulate, kill and even put Liz in harm's way in order to be with her. Ressler, in contrast, never wants anything from Liz. He never demands anything from her, not even her love. He's content to be in her life and love her while being 'just a friend'. He loves her so long and so quietly, so unassuming and undemanding, it breaks my heart. He's made aware of his own feelings by 301 at the latest, and yet at the end of s3 he has to watch Liz marry another man. More than that, Ressler physically put himself between her and a rain of bullets so she could marry that other man. Just think about those levels of quiet devotion and love, not once complaining or asking for things to be different.

And it's exactly why he's the right man for Liz. Those literal YEARS of the ship being nothing more than hints and subtextual promises for something at some point in the vague future, they happen for a reason (as much as I wish Ressler and Liz got more time together before her actress left the show).

Ressler is in love with Liz for years, and when they finally happen, it's because she's finally ready for it. He's the one person who lets her decide her own fate. So even then, after Liz first kisses him, Ressler makes no demands or assumptions, he lets her decide what step to take next and when. To me, that makes their love story even more beautiful, as short and as tragic as their canon time ends up being. Because you just get how much it means, and you also know that to Ressler every moment they spent together counted, even before Liz kissed him. I am never gonna be normal about how much those two love each other (Liz too, even before she figured it out. The way she was there for Ressler and cared about him long before she worked out what it means and what they could have together).

And now I'm gonna circle back to Buddie, 'coz here's the thing. After roughly 3.5 years of Buddie, we CANONICALLY have more explicitly deep and meaningful moments between Buck and Eddie (I mean, the legal guardian talk ALONE, I wail) than we ever got with Keenler during the first 7 seasons of TBL. And the other Love Interests that Buddie got so far have been far less impactful or developed than Tom was. So if TBL could make good on its own promises and hints along the years, and let Keenler go canon as a couple, by all accounts Buddie should as well. I'm saying, I'm actually weirdly good with calling out ships early on. When the two characters are each canonically attracted to the gender of the other one, I almost never miss, no matter how long it takes for the ship to go canon and what they have to go through in order to get there. And those ships usually end up being the endgame ones, too. Here and there, I even managed to correctly call out a ship that went canon even though this entailed a same-sex attraction reveal. I've also had same-sex ships that I knew would never go canon, but I could usually tell the show would only ever hint at the couple and play around with the subtext, but it would never actually go there (for example, Supernatural). So really, if Buck and Eddie were canonically queer, or an opposite sex couple, I would have had no doubt that they would happen. And when comparing them to canon ships like Keenler, I also have no doubt Buddie should happen. And that they could, even after years of appearing as if they never would and in spite of many other LIs, even seemingly really significant ones. Will they? That's a mystery I can't solve, not yet, though I CAN tell you that I don't have that sense I had with SPN that there's no way the show would ever go there. We just gotta wait, watch and find out. But this is another little piece from me to all of you, about why I have faith and why Buddie def are the right fit for each other (as I mentioned repeatedly in my seasons 1 to 3a Buddie meta).

Sorry for the length, thank you for the ask and please have a look at my ask tag if you're looking for another ask reply. xoxox

[eunoiaflow3r]

not ur friend

spencer reid x reader

aaron hotchner x reader

part two - part three

a/n: haven’t written for spence in a while lol. hope you guys like it. wow...and i wrote him as an ass. bahahaha what am i going through i’m so sorry.

warning(s): language. angst. not proofread. will be mistakes.

word count: 1.8k

request(ed): no.

summary: y/n overhears something she shouldn’t have. this conversation alters her relationship.

not ur friend by jeremy zucker.

———————-——————&————————————

Hang up, if you ever think of calling me up. Not afraid to say it, darling.

3 days.

It’s been an entire weekend of you ignoring Spencer and his ever intruding phone calls. This wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that this felt like a breakup. Your head and heart was treating this like you were in a relationship and he made it painfully clear that you weren’t.

It was quiet in your apartment. The television was off, the radio was silent, the heater had paused and even the refrigerator wasn’t making the usual silent buzz noise it made. The deafness of it all allowed the conversation you heard friday night play over and over again through your ached head.

Friday 11:37 pm.

“So Reid...” you picked up your phone when it rang and read Spencer’s name across the screen. It wasn’t like him to call so late but you picked up anyway. When it was a muffled Morgan’s voice you heard instead of Spencer’s you realized he hadn’t even meant to call you at all.

“How’s your girlfriend?”

You just knew all eyes were on him. Spencer Reid was very private about his social life. It was rare he even told you about anything he’d been up to. He just wasn’t one for small talk. The fact that you just knew they were talking about you made you press your phone harder into your ear even though you weren’t even sure you should have been listening.

“Oh y/n? Yeah she’s definitely not my girlfriend.”

This stung. There wasn’t even a label or anything that you guys put on it, but usually when Spencer would talk about his romantic relationships he’d get nervous and stuttery and try to change the subject. Spencer’s voice was clear and steady. Zero hints of nervousness and bashfulness. He was serious.

“Really?” This was Emily now, you could recognize her voice. “You guys seem like pretty close friends if you know what I mean.” Her tone was laced with humor but Spencer’s was far from joking.

“No. I wouldn’t call us friends either. She’s just someone I visit. Like y’know...how you would a grandmother.”

A grandmother? He compared you to a grandmother? He said visiting you was like visiting a grandmother?? You could feel the tears in your eyes. You really thought Spencer was a good guy. Why would he say something so rude? Something so hurtful about the person he was sleeping with.

It wasn’t a friends with benefits. You guys had agreed on that, but you weren’t dating either. You had met him at a museum and ever since then you two had behaved as if a couple would. The only difference was that you weren’t public. You weren’t posting pictures, or gushing over how cute you thought your “boyfriend” was to your friends. And you were fine with that. Labels are constricting. You were glad not to have them except when he decided to say he barely knew you at all and compared you to a grandmother.

“Damn.” Morgan sounded impressed. “Does she know that?”

“Maybe.” Spencer paused. “There’s nothing really romantic about our relationship. To be honest, she can be a bit needy at times and it’s suffocating.”

He paused again.

“I’m actually thinking of breaking things off. She wants more and I just don’t like her that way.”

Sorry, I'm not sorry if it hurts. I don’t mean to make it worse.

This is where you hung up. Your tears never stopped flowing. How dare he? How dare he say you were needy and suffocating? You rarely asked him for anything, and didn’t bother him with things at all. You knew he was a busy person. A busy and hardworking person. You never tried to ask him for more than he was willing to give. Ever. It hurt your heart to think he was playing you the whole time.

It hurt to think that all the “I adore you’s” and “I think I’m in love with you’s” were all fake. You were pretty sure with the way things were headed that you and Spencer would have much more than just a relationship. Much more than sex and cuddles. But a meaning - an understanding.

Spencer was your comfort. Your safe place. The person you’d go to if you were hurting, or in trouble. You were his. Countless times he came to your house and cried to you about the stress from his job. He’d hold you and tell you all about his day and what more he wished he could have done.

You’d buy him his favorite food and he’d cuddle you to sleep only to wake you up in the morning with kisses and great morning sex. To hear all of that meant basically nothing to him tore your heart to pieces.

It made you want to throw up. Had you wasted your time? Had he felt this way the entire time and you just never noticed because you hoped he felt the same? Were there signs that you missed? Something you could have done to prevent yourself from falling this hard for someone who didn’t care?

But you thought he cared.

Spencer was the most caring, empathetic person you’d ever met in your life. He was so understanding in a way no one could ever get.

I've decided that I'm not your fucking friend.

This is why you thought that maybe this is why he tried to hide you. Maybe he just was afraid of his friends not liking you, or afraid of someone from where he worked would try to hurt you. You prayed this was the case. You hoped and cried that this was the reason he’d ever let those words leave his mouth.

The reason you couldn’t believe this though is something understandable.

He had never, ever, called you anything other than his friend, and never wanted to go out.

He told you it was because he was protecting you, but he never wanted to even meet your friends. And when you talked about a guy or introduced him to one, he’d get upset and say something like, “Yeah well he seems perfect for you anyway. Not like we’re a thing - do what you want.”

And your brain tried to rationalize this as protection. The more you thought about it the more the other part of your brain screamed manipulation. You tried to ignore it but is that what was happening? Had he been manipulating you the entire time and you just never knew it?

If he was protecting you he wouldn’t call you needy. He wouldn’t not even bother to look at your friends. He wouldn’t feel the need to hide you from the entire world and lie about it in such a - douchebag way.

This hurt you though. His team can call out a liar faster than anyone and they would have said something if they thought he was lying. They would have defended you. The wouldn’t have egged him away and joked about you like you were some embarrassing one night stand.

You expected respect and decency and got dishonesty and asshole attitudes instead.

After the weekend of pitying yourself you realized you needed to stop. This wasn’t your fault. He has issues of his own. Issues he needs to work out and come to terms with on his own. Why should you feel anything for a man trying to hide you? Lying to you? Lying to his friends ABOUT you. Reassuring yourself helped but didn’t help the ache in your heart.

Were you ready for this? Were you ready to throw it all away? After all it could just be a misunderstanding. A misinterpretation. It could be your fault. Maybe you were clingy.

No.

No. Absolutely not. You weren’t going to try to defend his actions.

Right now, there's not much that we agree on. Sit down, if you need someone to lean on.

You called him.

“Hello?” he answered right away. “Where have you been are you okay? I was gonna come over and check.”

“Don’t come over.” You cleared your throat and blinked away tears.

“Then please come to mine. I have to talk to you, I missed you.”

He still has no idea. He doesn’t have a clue what you overheard on the phone. All the pieces of the puzzle you put together. All that you’ve realized in the past 3 days.

You rolled your eyes. Any other day you’d think his obliviousness was adorable but right now it only made you want to punch him in his stomach for lying to you and wasting your time.

“I’ll be over to give you your things.”

And you hung up.

That was so hard for you to do and you had hot wet tears running down your face to prove it. No matter how many times you tried to brush them away they just kept on going down.

Fuck him.

A shower and a change of clothes later you were finally ready to see him.

Honest, if I'm coming to your place, it's to say it to your face...

In your car you tried to talk yourself out of it. You told yourself to just forget the phone call over happened and just go back to the way things were. At least you here happy then...at least...sort of. You were okay. You were happy with him. The time you spent with him was enjoyable but you were tired of being his therapist. You were tired of being his dirty mistress. You didn’t want to be lied to or lied about. You were over it.

When you got there he rushed you in the house and looked down at you confusingly.

You had never been inside his place. The only time you were ever really here was when you were inside waiting in the car so that he could change his shirt.

“I thought you were coming tomorrow?”

“I came now to give you your things.”

“JJ will be here soon, you should probably leave. Why did you bring this stuff?”

“They’re yours. They shouldn’t be at my place.”

He looked confused but took the box from your hands anyway.

“I’m leaving.” You simply said and turned towards the door. The sooner you were out the better.

“Can I at least have a kiss?” Spencer asked in the cute voice he knew you liked.

You closed your eyes. “Sorry Reid, but no. I don’t want to seem needy or suffocating, ya’know? Makes it easier to break things off.”

Color drained from his face as he realized what you were talking about. He couldn’t even come up with an excuse other than a - “No, baby I -“

You put your palm in the air facing him telling him to stop.

“It’s okay. I was just someone you visited...like a grandmother. You shouldn’t miss me too much. We’re not even friends, right?”

You walked out of the house.

You walked out on him. Your heart was beating out of your chest. He was always the one to leave. He was always the one to say goodbye.

I've decided that I'm not your fucking friend.

—————————————-#————————————

taglist: @hotchsbabygirl @pinkdiamond1016 @thefemalestorywriter @sizzlingclamturtlesludge @samyilf123

[nanaminokanojo]

BLOOM | Sukuna X You | Part 3/3 [COMPLETED]

CHARACTERS: Sukuna X You | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Maki | Fushiguro Toji | Baby Megumi | Megumi's Mom (OC) CHAPTER COUNT: 3/3 WORD COUNT: 10,900+ GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | smut | ooc sukuna | female reader | modern au CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity/strong language | alcohol use | age gap | smut/sexual intercourse SPOILERS: N/A

collection masterlist

one two three | Bloom Masterlist

“You up for it?”

You were sitting at your usual spot at Maki’s. It was still quite early so the pub wasn’t as crowded as it usually is, and it was a weekday. You were there to meet Sukuna but the owner suddenly started chatting you up like she usually does, beating around the bush for a bit before she finally asked you a favor. Apparently, they’re under-staffed and is in need of another waitress but hiring a new one was out of the question since it was a temporary post, just until the person who really works for her recovers from a broken ankle.

“It’s just from four in the afternoon to eight on weekdays, and since you’re usually hanging around here during those times, I thought of asking you. We’re just really short of hands for the next week,” she said, flashing you a rueful smile. “I asked Ieiri but she’s in the middle of her internship.”

Maki had been there for you before, talking to you when you had issues you couldn’t share with your friends and always giving you free non-alcoholic drinks during your exams, and you didn’t see anything wrong with helping her out for once. You’ll earn from it, too. “Sure. When do I begin?”

She clapped her hands excitedly which took you aback. She’s always so tough, barking orders here and there or putting rowdy customers in their proper places, that you didn’t really expect her to be all giggly and excited all of a sudden. “You’ll do it?”

“Yeah, why not?”

She hugged you then. “Oh my god, Y/N. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

You waved her aside, chuckling. “It’s fine. It’s for a week anyway. No big deal.”

She sighed in relief. “You don’t know how much weight you’ve taken off my shoulders, so it is a big deal. Okay for you to start on Monday?”

You nodded.

“I’m giving you all the cherry blossom tea smoothie you want.” She grinned cheekily at you then. “And speaking of cherry blossoms, I noticed you and Sukuna coming here together. Are you together now?”

You felt your face heating up at the mention of the man's name but you shook your head. "Not yet."

"Yet?"

You chuckled awkwardly. "We're working it out, I guess. We're not exclusively dating though and he isn't my boyfriend..." You felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought. It's the first time you're saying it out loud, what Sukuna isn't to you, and you had to admit the notion was kinda disappointing. But the problem was with you. "Yeah...just that."

"He likes you though. I see the way he looks at you." Maki smiled knowingly at you. "Does this have something to do with your no dating policy? It's ridiculous if you ask me. Sukuna is a good man."

Ah, straightforward as always. "I know that. That's why I'm letting him have a go at changing my mind."

"And is he successful so far?"

"He's almost there." You frowned then, catching her comment about him. "You seem to know him well."

"We go way back," Maki explained. "My old man still owns the pub when he was a student and he came here all the time listening to me and that old geezer fight."

"Oh. That must have been a sight."

"Plus he's friends with my cousin, Toji."

You tilted your head in question. Sukuna never really talked about his friends, and he has never introduced you to any of them. It’s the first time you’re hearing about that side of him. “Really? What was he like back then?”

Maki snorted. “He was an idiot who had too much time in his hands. He’s smart, but had a penchant for mischief. I mean, I guess you already figured that out just looking at him. Nobody really thought he would end up to be this big-shot architect.”

You laughed. “Really?”

“Toji’s influence, I guess. That one’s a bigger idiot.” She looked deep in thought for a moment then said, “Why his wife chose him instead of Sukuna is a puzzle.”

You were confused. You did not know what she was talking exactly, and why her cousin’s wife should have chosen Sukuna was beyond you. For some reason, you didn’t have a good feeling about it, then you remembered what he told you before about dating just one person.

Could it be… “No…” You didn’t even realize you said that out loud until Maki held onto your hand, squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry. I said too much.”

“Well, don’t stop now,” you found yourself saying, unable to help it. “Is the situation what I think it is? Your cousin’s wife…He told me before that he only ever steadily dated one girl. Is it…?”

Maki nodded, grimacing. “They cheated on him six years ago.”

“So, he lost his girlfriend and best friend?” You felt your heart break at the thought. You might not have known him back then, but you couldn’t help but feel bad on his behalf.

“Yes. I’m not saying it’s his fault, but he’s hardly ever there since he was busy.”

“It’s not enough grounds for them to do that!” you stated loudly, feeling genuinely hurt for him. Damn, if he dated just one woman ever and never had a relationship again before you – for six years – then that spoke volumes of how much it affected him afterwards. You caught yourself and flashed Maki an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“Understandable.” She sighed. “He went overseas and didn’t come back until just two years ago. Guess why he came back.”

“Why?”

“To attend their wedding.”

You didn’t know what was more messed up, but you also know Sukuna to be a genuinely good person. If he disappeared for that long only to come back to attend his best friend and ex’s wedding, then it only meant he totally forgave them. If he was giving another relationship a chance, particularly with you, then it also meant he has healed. How he could be so caring and affectionate towards you despite what he went through astonished you, but maybe that’s just how he really was as a person.

“Are they okay now?”

“Yes.” She laughed slightly then. “You should see how he dotes on Toji’s son.”

Maki ruffled your hair, seeing how you’ve reacted. “Just one piece of unsolicited advice, Y/N. If you decide to be with him, be certain about it and don’t ever hurt him.”

You only nodded, taking her words to heart. She was right. Just as you were afraid to be left alone, nobody deserves to be hurt like that. You wanted to be angry at the fact that his own best friend did that to him but at the same time, you were proud of him for coming out of it while maintaining a good view about the whole concept of relationships and perhaps love. It radiated in the way he treated you, and all the effort he is putting into making things work despite your hesitations.

He arrived a few moments later, showing you that crooked smile of his. You both had one beer, and over that, he asked about your day and he told you about yours. When you were finished with your drinks, he said, “Mind going out for a drive? I wanted to tell you something.”

“Okay.” You couldn’t meet his eyes after what Maki told you, and several times, he asked if you were okay to which you responded affirmatively, trying to keep your emotions at bay.

Sukuna took you to the cliffs just around the city limits, parking his car a few yards from the edge enough to have a good view of the sea of lights below. When he killed the engine, you disembarked from his Jeep, walking closer to the edge when you felt his hand on your arm.

“Not too close to the edge,” he said, looking at you with concern written all over his face, but before he could ask what was bothering you, you said, “You were going to tell me something.”

At that, he sighed as if in long-suffering. “Yes, that.” He looked at you seriously as if he was going to tell you something grave only to end up saying, “I’m going to be away for two weeks starting Monday. I’m going to London.”

Momentarily forgetting about your conversation with Maki, you blinked, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “Why did you have to look like you’re about to tell me you’re going to be executed or something? Jesus, Sukuna.” You laughed despite yourself.

“Don’t laugh. I’m annoyed.” He pouted. “Aren’t you sad? Two weeks is a long time. I won’t get to see you, and I have to check for time zones if I want to talk to you over the phone.”

You held his hand, twining your fingers with his before raising it to plant a kiss on his knuckles. “I will miss you, but you don’t have to be so upset about it. I’ll be right here when you come back. Stop being all dramatic.”

“I’m not!”

“You’re funny.”

He rolled his eyes, but then said, “So, before that, I was planning to take you to meet my best friend and his wife on Saturday. I’ve been telling them about you…”

The rest of his words faded, the only thought registering in your head was how he mentioned his best friend and his wife. You were going to meet them. You couldn’t say no to that given that they seem to play integral parts in his life despite what happened. “Okay.”

“You’re gonna love their little boy,” he said excitedly.

“Sure…”

“But really, Y/N? You won’t have a whirlwind romance with some college brat while I’m away?”

You let go of his hand, stepping back. You didn’t like the sound of that. Not one bit. Not when he was speaking from experience. “What do you take me for?!” The words came out a little harsher than you intended, the resentment you felt for his previous relationship resurfacing.

He arched a brow at you, puzzled at your outburst. “Y/N, I was kidding.”

Not able to hold back anymore, you turned away from him as tears started flooding your vision. You didn’t even know why you were crying over the whole thing, and you just felt like an idiot as you faced him again, frantically drying your tears.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He looked alarmed as he held onto both of your hands, stopping you from wiping harshly at your face. “Why are you crying? Is it because of what I said?”

You shook your head. “No…no. Can I hug you though?” you asked and he almost laughed as he himself drew you closer, wrapping his arms around you. “You never have to ask.”

You did the same, holding onto him tightly, hoping it was enough for you to get rid of any feeling of hurt left in him if there was any to begin with; that it was enough for him to be at ease where you were concerned when he goes away. Still, you wanted to make sure. You stayed like that until you’ve calmed down, thinking you were doing it more for yourself than for him.

“What brought this on?”

“You won’t get mad?” you asked between hiccups, looking up at him.

“Why would I?”

“Promise me first. I just don’t want to hide anything from you and it’s been bothering me.”

“Okay. I promise.” As if to emphasize his words, he pecked you on the tip of your nose. “Now what is bothering you?”

“Since you mentioned your best friend,” you began, “Toji, right?”

He eyed you, nonplussed. “How did you know?”

“Maki told me…” You started tearing up again. “She-she told me w-what happened. Everything…so I know…Please don’t get mad.”

He clucked his tongue. “That woman. Seriously.”

“I’m glad she told me and I’m sorry if I pried, but I can’t…”

“Is that why you’re crying?”

“Y-yes.”

“Why?”

“Because they hurt you.”

His expressions softened. “Silly.”

You pulled him close, wrapping your arms around him. “It’s not silly. Nobody deserves that, least of all you. You’re always so good to me, and I can’t imagine anybody doing that to you, least of all your best friend.”

Sukuna’s hug tightened a tad, placing his chin on top of your head. “No sense crying about it anymore, Y/N. I’ve forgiven and forgotten. It wasn’t their fault if they felt that way when I went away. They found common ground, I guess. Toji thought he was losing his best friend and she felt the same way.”

“Okay.”

“If it isn’t too much to ask, I want you to get to know them, too, just like I want to be close to Satoru, Suguru and Ieiri. They’re important to me.”

“Okay.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes.” You met his gaze. “If they’re important to you, then I will do that for you and meet them.”

He wiped away your tears then. “Thank you.”

“Don’t sweat it,” you mumbled, breathing in deeply. “Sorry you had to see me like this.”

“You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He shrugged then, snickering. “Maki’s timing sure is impeccable.”

And so, Saturday came and you held onto Sukuna’s hand as he helped you out of the Jeep after parking in front of a two-story house with pale yellow walls and white shutters. Before it was a small, well-tended yard surrounded with white picket fences, very much like the house you grew up in under the care of your grandfather. A small, plastic slide and swing set was placed on the grass along with a tiny bike and some toys in the sandbox.

“You okay?” he asked, interrupting your reverie. When you nodded, he said, “You’re not gonna cry, are you?” making you smack him on the arm. “Ow?”

“Serves you right.”

Just then, the door opened revealing this couple you assumed to be the Fushiguros. They looked good together, both with raven hair with their equally dark-haired little boy who looked about eighteen months old, all chubby cheeks and pudgy cuteness.

Toji was this big, hulking man with a vertical scar on the right side of his mouth which oddly added to his charm instead of marring his handsome face. He was carrying his little boy in his muscular arms, taking the edge off his tough looks. He was the first one to approach.

"Hi. Y/N, right?"

"Yes, hi." You shook his hand, smiling genuinely despite your previous notions regarding him and his wife who also stepped forward, taking your hands in hers. She was beautiful, too, and she gave you this feeling of coming home with her bright eyes and kind smile. You couldn’t blame Toji for falling for her, then again, Sukuna used to be in love with her, too.

"You're so pretty!" she said as a way of greeting. "I'm Mirai. It's nice to meet you."

Toji glanced at Sukuna, the gesture injected with meaning. "It's nice to finally meet you. Typically, he's quiet, but he won't shut up about you."

"Shut up," Sukuna muttered.

"It's nice to meet you both." You chuckled. "He isn't quiet around me either." Then your eyes shifted to their kid. You weren't exactly enamored with the idea of children, but you understood what Sukuna meant. "Hi, little angel," you couldn't help but say to the boy who was looking at you with wide, sparkly eyes framed with long lashes. "Your son is lovely."

"Thank you," Mirai returned happily, watching her son reaching for you. "Aww, Megumi likes you."

"Megumi," you repeated. "Blessing?"

"Yes," Toji said proudly and you gathered from his statement that he named the baby.

You looked towards Sukuna as if for assurance as you reached out. "May I hold him?"

"Sure." Toji handed Megumi to you and you followed after them as they led you and Sukuna into their home, marveling at how well-behaved he was, just leaning against your chest and sucking on his thumb, all warm and smelling like baby powder and everything that reminded you of happiness.

The two men went to the living room to catch up while you went to the kitchen with Mirai who was curiously asking you one thing after the other.

"Sukuna told us you're a student. What are you studying?" she asked as she stirred something in a pot.

"Comprehensive literature," you answered, untangling Megumi's hand from your hair.

"Are you sure you're okay carrying Megumi?" Mirai threw you a rueful smile.

You nodded, beaming warmly at the child. "I don't mind. He's so adorable."

Mirai smiled lovingly at her son. "Isn't he? I was so happy when I first had him and saw how much he looked like his dad."

"Yeah, he's like a mini version of Toji. He has your eyes though."

“Thank you.” She grinned. "So, how long have you known Sukuna?"

"Just almost half a year. Around that."

"Guy's whipped for you, Y/N."

"I heard that!" Sukuna called out from the living room. He suddenly entered the kitchen, plucking Megumi off your arms saying, "My turn. How's my favorite boy?"

You just snickered, your thoughts elsewhere. It got you wondering if you would even have met Sukuna if things didn't turn out the way they have. You were picturing Sukuna standing beside Mirai instead of Toji but you just couldn't and it got you contemplating that maybe things ended up the way they did because that's what's meant to be.

As opposed to your resentment to what they did to him, you were now glad, perhaps even thankful and more understanding of Sukuna's reasons for letting things go and remaining friends with them. Because if those things didn't happen, you won't have him. Because if they didn't turn out that way, you wouldn't be watching him being all silly and adorable with Megumi, giving you a picture of what kind of father he would be when he did have kids. Because then, you wouldn't be considering the possibility of a future with anyone…with him.

Then you froze as your feelings for him became clearer. Because why else would you be spending all your time with him, being close to him and getting to know him? Why were you so keen on making sure he was happy? Why were you hurting on his behalf? Why was the world suddenly a better place despite the fact that you're supposedly alone?

It was simple. You're in love with him.

"Y/N?" you heard his deep voice resonating from inside your head then louder as your vision began to focus. He was standing in front of you with Megumi in his arms.

"Huh?"

"You okay? You were spacing out."

"Just thinking." You bit your lower lip, looking apologetic.

"Getting lost in your own world again, I see?" he teased.

"Getting lost in yours is more like it."

He and Miriai looked at you at the same time, the latter giggling pretty much like Ieiri whenever you told her about Sukuna. "You two are so cute."

You brushed the comment off, approaching her. "How can I help?"

You set the table with Toji's help, listening to him talk about Megumi and Mirai with such profound fondness and pride. Just like Sukuna, his appearance was an irony to his funny and soft personality it was disconcerting.

"It's great to have guests over. We rarely do this but Sukuna comes here every Saturday, and well, he isn't a guest anymore," Mirai said as she fed Megumi.

"Thanks for having me then," you replied, still fixated on their kid who was babbling about with his mouth full while he repeatedly knocked a plastic spoon on his high chair.

The conversation was light, circling on their old days, but you knew they were trying to skirt around the ugly things. Mirai regaled you of how Toji got the scar on his mouth. Turns out he and Sukuna were street racers at some point. "Easy cash," as the former had put it. "I mean who wants a part time job if you earn thousands a night?"

"So, what do you plan to become after you graduate?" she asked you again.

"A writer, maybe?"

At that, Sukuna started telling them about your date at the fancy restaurant and how you pretty much nailed the story of the lone old woman who gave you wine. "She's amazing like that," he said fondly, absently patting you on your thigh.

"I'm sure Y/N here finds you impressive, too," Toji teased. "Right, Y/N?"

"Yeah, he smells awfully great it's making my thoughts incoherent," you sallied, "But jokes aside..." You let your voice trail off on purpose, gauging his reaction.

"What?" he prompted.

"That's for me to know," you finally stated, making the couple laugh.

"No fair!"

After lunch, you helped Mirai clean up. Megumi was asleep in his crib after his meal and the guys stood by the backdoor, enjoying some beer. You dried the plates quietly while she washed and told you about Toji.

"It's like raising two kids, really," she told you. "He doesn't pick up after himself and our Megumi is more considerate than he is."

"But you love him," you teased.

"With all that I am." Her eyes strayed to Sukuna then. "Cherish him. Don't let that one get away."

At her words, you felt the same hurt you did when you first learned what the real deal was with them from Maki. You blood boiled out of the blue as thoughts started racing in your head a hundred miles per second. How dare she say that to you when she herself let him go? How dare she hurt him like that and yet keep him as a friend?

The sound of something breaking brought you out of your trance, and you realized the plate you were wiping had fallen onto the floor. But your attention was on her, your steely eyes hard and intense as you said, "You're the last person I expect to be telling me such things."

"I..."

You stepped away from her only to be met by Sukuna's disappointed expression, but you ignored that as well as you turned away. "Excuse me,” you said, bowing slightly as you walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, grabbing your bag before walking out of the house.

The crisp autumn air blew coldly against you, ruffling your hair and your dress as you stood there, not really knowing where to go or what to do. Suddenly, you felt stupid for saying something like that to Mirai when she had been nothing but nice towards you, her and Toji. You also liked their son. And judging by how Sukuna looked at you, you had this niggling feeling that you've ruined it all, eating at you from the inside out.

Just then, the door opened and closed behind you. You didn't have to turn around to know it was Sukuna who followed you out. You've grown so accustomed to his presence that at times, he only had to look at you and you already understand what he wants to convey.

"Y/N, sweetheart, what's going on?" he asked, trying hard to keep the edge off his tone.

You didn't turn to face him, afraid of what you will see. "You heard what I said. Do I really have to explain?"

He walked around you, grabbing you by the shoulders, shaking you slightly. "I thought we're over this. I thought I already explained this to you."

That doesn't cut it, you thought but opted not to say it. He might have told you that he has forgiven and forgotten, and although you weren't involved in it, you still felt displeasure whenever you remembered it. It wasn't as if Mirai and Toji did you wrong, and it wasn't as if you had the right to say shit but she didn't have the right to tell you anything either knowing to herself what she had done. You didn't want to hear anything from her about what you ought to do and decide where Sukuna was concerned. It just didn't sit right with you.

"I know. I'm wrong. I get it," you snapped, shrugging his hands off you. "I wanna go home." You started walking away from him, but you stopped when he said, "What is wrong with you?"

You turned back, breath snagging as you let out a mirthless chuckle. "What is wrong with me?" you repeated, your voice coming out soft but with a bitter edge to it. "I know I am wrong for blurting out the things I did, and I am sorry."

"Y/N –"

"But don't strip me of my right to be angry when Mirai tells me to cherish you and not let you go as if she has any right to do it," you cut him off. "I didn't have the right to call her out on her transgressions to you, but don't tell me I can't cry or be mad at the fact that you had to go through all that because I care too damn much for you!"

Your eyes started to fill with tears as you regarded him, seeing the world come alive with blossoms dancing in the wind while in reality, the world was at its last legs, leaves falling all around you. Whenever you looked at him, you felt like everything was flourishing, filling your existence with beautiful things in an abundance of colors. "I'm so in love with you that I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt. I hate it when I know you're tired but you still smile for me anyway. I hate it when you look disappointed whenever I hesitate and couldn't make up my mind."

"I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. I was being a jerk, but that's how much I love you. I love you, Sukuna, more than I can possibly tell you. I can't pretend I don't."

"Say that again," he murmured.

"What?" you demanded gruffly, too caught up in your emotions to comprehend.

"You said you love me. Say it again." Now he looked like he was about to cry, eyes glistening even as he smiled wide with joy, drawing nearer and taking your hand in his.

You sighed in relief, feeling your chest loosen up. It felt great saying it out loud. Beyond just great. "I love you."

The moment you let go of the words, you were wrapped up in his warmth, his arms tight around you while you listened to the thundering beats of his heart. He held you at arm's length, looked deep into your eyes as he cupped your face and leaned in to claim your lips in a brief kiss. Spring has come in the middle of autumn, filling your senses and making you feel like you could fly. He held you in place, eyes closed as he touched his forehead to yours, letting out a shaky laugh.

"Do you mean that?" He opened his eyes slowly and you were lost in their depths as you nodded. "Yes."

"You haven't asked, but I happen to be just as in love with you if not more."

"I already knew that. How can I not when you show me every day? It's comforting to hear you say it out loud though." You smirked at him. "You know, when you don't think I'm asleep."

He stiffened against you. "You heard that?"

"God, it was so hard to keep my eyes closed and stop myself from reacting when you told me you're in love with me."

He clucked his tongue. "You waited this long to respond to me?"

"I told you I didn't wanna give it to you half-assed. I’m giving you my heart just as I want yours, and if you’re ready to entrust it wholly to me, I can’t just reciprocate with pieces of mine."

“You had it since the first day we met. I didn’t have to see everything else to know you’re the one who owns it.” Sukuna kissed you on the forehead, hugging you to him and just standing there with you, watching cars pass by the road, reveling in his proximity and his warmth. You didn’t need much of anything if you had him.

But then you broke out of his hold, realizing the mess you’ve made.

"What is it?"

"I have to apologize to our hosts. Stay here," you stated, walking back to the house to find the couple in the living room, standing there as if they were expecting you to come back. Without hesitation, you bowed before them. "I sincerely apologize for what I said. I should not have said that to you, Mirai. And it isn't my intention to indirectly hurt you, too, Toji. I'm sorry."

"What is this girl saying?" you heard Mirai say as she approached you and hugged you tight. "You silly girl. We deserve that and we don't deserve Sukuna. Everyone just gave us a free pass, and we were glad you were brave enough to say it to us like that. You have nothing to apologize for."

"Still..."

Toji shook his head. "No, Y/N. Thank you. For loving Sukuna and for giving us the chance to finally forgive ourselves, too."

At that, you smiled, nodding in understanding.

When it was time to leave, Megumi woke up and you had the chance to say goodbye to him, too, holding onto him until you had to get out the door.

"Visit us anytime, Y/N," Mirai said, winking. "Sukuna doesn't have to be with you."

"So, you're throwing me away cause you have Y/N now? Some friends you are," he sniped, causing another round of easy laughter.

"I'll come by soon," you promised, pecking Megumi on the cheek. "See you, angel."

***

"So, you're officially together now?" Suguru asked, helping you pack for the trip to the mountains Sukuna had planned, scheduled immediately after his return.

"Two weeks ago, but he had to go to London," you said, and in the next second, Ieiri and Satoru both brought out their wallets, handing bills to Suguru.

"I knew there was something different when he drove you home that afternoon."

"I can't believe you three are betting over my relationship with Sukuna," you muttered, zipping up your small luggage.

Suguru won fair and square though. He had been right to ask from the start when he walked in on you and Sukuna making out on the porch when the latter dropped you off. The drive then was quiet but you had the shut the guy up for teasing you about that "one hell of a confession," as he had put it. But he immediately took control, shoving you against the wall beside the door and kissing you stupid.

"What did I say about raising her on my own?" Suguru gloated, slinging an arm over your shoulder much to the annoyance of your supposed two other parents.

Satoru scoffed. "I was the one who did the hardest job of interrogating him the first time he came and brought our little girl dead drunk!"

"Yeah, he said you're intimidating," you told him, chuckling, and he positively glowed until you said, "But he said you apologized afterwards so..."

Suguru and Ieiri laughed hard at him.

"On a more serious note, Sukuna isn't gonna be as lucky the moment you get hurt, Y/N," Satoru stated calmly and the other two nodded in agreement. "Just putting it out there."

You would do the same for them, too, so you also agreed. "And if I'm the one causing him shit?"

"That's on him, too," Suguru said, ruffling your hair. "You're our princess, Y/N. It doesn't matter who's right or wrong when the time comes. You'll probably get an earful from us, too, cause we like the guy, but you will always have us first."

You clucked you tongue. "You're all being dramatic, but thanks. Much appreciated."

"It's the first time you're going steady with anyone. We're just making sure we've covered all the bases," Ieiri stated.

"Yeah, and before we forget..." Satoru took something out from under your bed, handing it to you.

You eagerly looked into the bag, thinking it was a present but you wanted to throw it at his face the moment you found out what it was.

"I got the bigger sizes cause Sukuna looks loaded in that department. Special edition, ultra-thin in – wait for it – mixed berry flavor." He winked. "Wrap it before you tap it."

"Ha ha, Satoru. You're really funny." You motioned to hit him, but laughed with him nonetheless as you rummaged through the bag. "Where the hell did you even get these?"

"Ordered them in from Amsterdam. You're welcome, princess."

"You're fucking weird for handing me rubbers, but thanks, dad." You handed the bag back to him. "You're giving them to Sukuna yourself though."

"Fine!"

And that he did when Sukuna arrived to come pick you up, strictly telling the man to open it in private much to the latter's confusion. Still, he accepted graciously.

"Don't open that thing," you said the moment you were in his car.

"That makes me want to open it now," he said.

You clucked you tongue, and shook your head. "Do that when I'm not looking." You tilted your head to have a better look at him, reaching over to make him face you. You frowned at the dark circles under his eyes. "What have you been doing in London?"

"Not sleeping enough is one of them, and I'm jetlagged." He took your hand in his and started planting butterfly kisses on your fingers. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." You cupped the side of his face and leaned over, pecking him on the lips. "You're going to sleep the moment we get to our destination."

"But –"

"No buts." You took the key off the ignition. "And I'm driving." You got out of the car, rounding it to the driver's side, opening the door. "Scoot."

Sukuna grinned at you. "Is being bossed around what it entails to be your boyfriend, sweetheart?" he asked, swinging his legs towards the door.

You moved closer, standing between his legs. "And if I say yes? Do you want out?" you asked, flashing him a sultry smile as you drew closer to him, your breaths mingling.

"I can't say I don't like it." He kissed you, deeper than the peck you gave him earlier.

"It's safer if I drive," you spoke against his lips. "Move."

"Just this once," he acceded, moving towards the passenger side while you climbed behind the wheel, gunning the car out of the property. But opposite to his words, he was asleep not an hour into the drive.

You never really realized how long two weeks could be until you had to wait for Sukuna to come back safe and sound. Though your time had been occupied by your studies and every other thing you did, you were always distracted by your phone, waiting for his messages and calls that you had to find yet another distraction in the form of a new video game you've gotten over the mail just two days after he left. But that was just momentary as you finished it in three days of continual gaming. You even went to visit the Fushiguros the weekend prior much to Mirai's delight just to have a semblance of familiarity where Sukuna was involved but it just made you miss him more.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, indeed. You could just laugh at yourself over the past days, thinking yourself selfish at the thought of not wanting him to go anywhere you couldn't easily reach him. But now that he was back, you are back to normal, and you knew you have to come to terms with accepting that it is a part of his job to be away from you every now and then if things are going to work out for the two of you.

You're whipped, and you know it. You've accepted that. Now, it's just a matter of not allowing yourself to become too dependent on his presence.

Sukuna woke up when you stopped for gas three hours later. Why he had to choose such a far off place to bring you to was beyond you, but you weren't complaining in that you'd go wherever he was, but it was more for the fact that he came straight out of the airport and yet he was traveling again and by car, too.

"You okay?" he asked while you munched on gummy bears, standing against the Jeep as you filled it with gas. "We can switch."

"I go on farther road trips with the boys and Ieiri every time we have the chance. Stop worrying about me."

He whined sleepily, his voice coming out thick, trapping you against the car with his body. "You're crabby today. It doesn't feel like you miss me."

"Oi, I had to order a new game just so I won't send stupid texts telling you to come back home. How dare you doubt that?"

He burst out laughing. "So you were nerding out while I was away?"

"Pretty much. Don't run away when one day, you walk into my room and find a monster holding onto my controller in the middle of pizza boxes and a whole lot of other mess. That's me needing to be brought out of my hole."

"Hey, don't do that when I go away for business trips." He looked seriously worried now. "You should do your normal routine."

"So don't say I didn't miss you because I was nearly that monster nerd I was telling you about." You popped a green gummy bear into his mouth. "And I'm still driving."

The drive continued for another two hours with you reaching the foot of the mountain at the side of the highway where you really had to switch with Sukuna since you didn't know the way.

"You didn't bring me here to murder me, did you?" you quipped, seeing how thick the forest was on the one-lane road going up the mountain. It was such green world that you almost wanted the feeling of being lost

"Probably. You're too bossy today."

"Hey, that's me being nice."

"I won't. I have other things in mind to do with you." He grinned mischievously at you, winking to which you just shook your head.

Soon enough, you reached a small, traditional village which was pretty much turned into a hot spring resort. Sukuna stopped at the largest building in the vicinity, telling you to wait in the car as he disembarked, returning very shortly later with a key dangling on his thumb. The drive continued for another twenty minutes until he parked in front of this old-style house which didn't look old at all, located at a much more secluded area of the resort. He handed you the key, telling you to go ahead while he unloads your stuff.

Yup. There was nothing old about the facilities at all with the south-facing side made entirely of glass that looked over the private hot spring and a view of the mountains beyond that. The kitchen was as modern as it could get, and judging by how Sukuna was carrying bag after bag of things into the fridge, he planned to cook during your entire stay there. You took over the job while he carried your luggage into the house. Poor thing did the shopping before coming to pick you up without telling you.

"Go shower and sleep. I can handle it from here," you told him when he entered the kitchen again, muscular arms crossed over his wide chest, eyeing you appreciatively.

Instead of doing as he was told, he came up to you, standing behind you, hands fastening onto your waist as he drew your hair to one side. He nuzzled your neck, slowly making his way up your jawline where he pressed his lips and lingered there for a bit. You smiled, reaching up with your hand to place it on his cheek.

"You need to rest, my love."

"Say that again," he whispered.

"You need to rest?" You teased, feeling him nip at your ear. "My love?"

"You keep annoying me today."

"You keep commenting about how I'm behaving today," you countered, facing him. "Come on, let me boss you around for now. You really need to get some shuteye."

"You'll let me boss you around later then?"

"Deal."

***

"Back already?"

You looked over your shoulder as you combed through your hair when you heard the sliding door open. A smile graced your lips seeing as how Sukuna looked better, more well-rested and more like himself after a long sleep, only coming to at nightfall. He took a dip in the hot spring after dinner and was returning from it.

He came in wearing that dark blue yukata provided by the resort, feeling your face grow hot when you realized you were ogling him yet again. How can you not when the garment hung loosely over his shoulder. He didn't bother tying it properly, and from the partition of the robe, you can see the broad expanse of his chest, the smattering of inked patterns following the sinews of his form.

It wasn't the first time you were seeing his tattoos, the artistic floral and tribal patterns making themselves known to you that day you woke up to him naked from the waist up. However, you did not realize they expanded all the way down the right side of his body, all the way down to the outer area of his thighs. Since he was just wearing a pair of boxers underneath the yukata, when he stepped forward, you were able to see it, and as curiosity won over you, you didn't look away even when he raised a brow at you, the ghost of amusement playing at the corners of his mouth.

You stood up, walking slowly towards him, stopping when you were less than a foot away. Your eyes shifted hesitantly between his face and that area of his anatomy silently asking for his permission to see more of it but your hands refused to move midway.

"What is it?" he asked, not exactly sure as to what you were trying to do.

Biting your lower lip. "M-may I..." You couldn't say it out loud so you pointed at his tattoos, feeling a lump forming on your throat when you realized how bold you were being.

"You don't have to ask," Sukuna whispered, taking your hand and placing it on his chest, warm and alive underneath your palm, while he drew his robe apart, eyes intent on you as you followed the expanse of skin that served as a canvass to the artfully-made representation of the four seasons in a single branch of a cherry blossom tree, meandering downwards. From his chest going down the length of his side, your hand traced over the colored patterns of smaller branches that progressed from summer to winter. Your fingers lingered over his iliac crest where new buds of the familiar pink blossoms that promised spring were immortalized on his skin.

Sukuna's breathing had deepened the moment your hand reached lower, and you relished the fact that you had that effect on him, too. You could feel heat behind your eyes as your blood rushed up to your head at the realization that you could do that to him, and even greater than that, the reality of just how much you wanted this man in front of you, how much you wanted to make him yours in every sense of the word and how much you wanted to be his and his alone.

In the dim light of the moon that was filtered by the mist rising from the springs through the open sliding doors, you looked up at Sukuna, the man you love with every single fiber of your being, leaning your head on his chest, listening to his beating heart that mirrored the thrumming in your chest.

You brushed your lips onto his bare skin, trailing kisses across his chest before looking up at him and letting yourself be devoured by those deep, hooded eyes as you stepped even closer.

"You're beautiful," you breathed out, pulling him down towards you, tears pooling in your eyes when he finally kissed you, taking your breath away.

Sukuna's large hands roamed your body as he continued to mold your mouth against his, his tongue pushing between your lips which you welcomed with your own, loving his taste, hot and wet and stirring you alive. His hands were warm and nimble as he kneaded the flesh of your hip through the fabric of your kimono, traveling lower to where the garment parted so he can slide his hand underneath. They made their way to your ass, squeezing hard before he slid lower, hooking both of his hands under your thighs. He lifted you up, urgently maneuvering your legs to wrap around his waist.

Neither of you came up for air even as he walked deeper into the room where the bed was, pawing and hungrily devouring each other, what began as a gentle kiss turning into a scorching show of dominance as you both took from each other, not quite getting enough.

"I love you," he rasped, breathless as he nipped at the shell of your ear. "I want all of you."

He then continued kissing you, seizing you at the back of your neck, roughly nibbling on your lips then progressing towards the columns of your throat, spreading the V that formed the collar of your robe. You ran your fingers through his hair, intoxicated by his scent, your toes curling as his hands travelled to outline the sides of your body possessively.

Sukuna then returned to your lips after leaving open-mouthed kisses all over your chest and collar bones, and you kissed him back just as fervently as he pressed you down against his clothed crotch, making you shiver as you felt stirrings at the pit of your stomach. You gasped at the feeling of him poking against your thigh but before you could recover, he entered his hot tongue into your mouth again, gently luring yours to mingle with his. You just let him have his way, not quite believing what was happening as you felt your skin bursting into flames wherever he touched you.

Sukuna lifted you slightly off the bed, putting you down so that you were facing away from him. From behind, he guided you towards the pillows and snaked his hands around your waist, reaching for the sash of your robe and tugging on it. When he was successful, he tossed it somewhere on the floor and reached over your shoulders, slowly feeling for the lapels of the robe, making sure his fingers brushed against your skin, sending jolts of electricity all over your body as he peeled the garment off you in deliberate and calculated slowness, coupled with his mouth following the train down your nape to your shoulders before he pushed you face down on the bed.

"Oh god," you whispered, fighting for air as he gathered your hair to your left shoulder and licked the shell of your ear. "What are you thinking about? You're too stiff. Relax," he said in that deep, sensual voice that turned your legs to jelly.

You grabbed onto the pillow, anticipating what he was gonna do next when you felt his febrile tongue making a trail on your right shoulder, the action morphing into sloppy, wet kisses going down your bare back until you could not feel your robe anywhere near your body anymore. He has already undressed you.

You were on edge and just hyper aware of everything he was doing and every single touch he left on your body made you feel like it was leaving a mark and being absorbed by every cell in your system. It felt good being this close to him, being touched by him and you wouldn’t really mind if he marked you everywhere. You wanted to be his and you wanted the world to know.

His hands travelled everywhere it could touch, pushing you to the edge and making you feel like you were burning slowly, the kind that made every corner of your body tingle with anticipation. What you didn't realize was how tight you were holding the pillow to yourself until he suddenly mentioned it.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?" Your voice came out at a higher pitch, making you want to smack yourself. This was that you wanted and yet you were being all jittery.

He chuckled softly, stopping his ministrations. "What are you doing?"

At that, you pushed yourself off the bed a bit and turned your head sideways to meet his gaze from over your shoulder. “Sorry, I’m just…”

“Yes?”

“Overwhelmed,” you whispered, chuckling slightly. While it wasn’t your first time, everything felt new with the added sensations that your deep emotions for him were throwing into the mix. “How do you want me?”

He turned you over on your back, chuckling. "For starters, cut out the pillow hugging." He pried the thing off your arms and chucked it against the headboard. Sukuna then hovered over you, pinning your hands on either side of your head then began his assault on your neck going lower and lower until he reached your left breast and started licking and tugging on your nipple, his other hand busy kneading the other.

“You are beautiful,” he said, mouth moving against the swell of your flesh while his other hand took possession of the other hand, tentatively squeezing with his long fingers.

You let out a moan, craving for more but not certain whether you could take it or not with your heart feeling like it was going to burst out of your chest. You wanted him to touch you more and as if he read your mind, he returned to kissing you intensely until you thought you couldn't breathe, well aware of how his other hand was taking off your panties. Your heart was beating erratically in your chest as you anticipated the moment, but halfway down your thighs, he raised himself a bit and laid himself on top of you, burying his face into your hair.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked cautiously as he raised himself slightly, looking into the depths of your eyes as if he was looking right through you.

Cupping his face, you rose slightly on your elbows, pressing your lips at the corner of his mouth. "A hundred times yes. I'm yours," you said with all the conviction you could muster in your hazy state – love drunk, kiss drunk, Sukuna drunk.

At your response, he latched his lips onto the skin of your neck, kissing lower and lower, passing over your breasts where he lingered, biting and sucking gently. You hissed as you watched him progress downward, his mouth doing all the magic from the valley of your chest down to your stomach, his hand reaching for the garment he had taken off you halfway down your legs, discarding it. The rough pads of his hands brushed over your thighs, pushing them apart as he lowered himself between them.

You let out a sharp cry when he licked a long stripe on your nether lips, his hot tongue swirling over your sensitive nub. He hummed in approval upon tasting you while he teased your folds with two of his digits. Without a warning he simultaneously pushed his fingers into you and sucked on your clit, building a rhythm that had you seeing stars with every thrust, coaxing out whimpers from your slightly parted lips. Your hips bucked towards him when you felt him reaching deep enough to touch your sweet spot again and again.

Sukuna anchored his arms around your thighs, his elbows on the mattress as he held you steady, continuing to lap at you and move his digits inside you as you felt that familiar sensation of coming undone, guiding you through it until you released so hard your juices squirted out despite his fingers still inserted in you, making a right mess of his mouth, chin and hand.

You spasmed against him but he didn't let go, continuing with his ministrations. He removed his fingers from inside you and started eating you out like a starved man, catching all of your essence from your initial orgasm and cajoling you into another one as he shoved his tongue right into you.

Your hand reached down, fingers tangling with his cherry blossom locks, not knowing whether you want to push him or keep him right where he was. He moaned as he felt your walls clenching, the vibrations caused by his voice stimulating you further, and in no time, you were releasing into his mouth again, your high hitting you like a speeding truck, slamming onto you and leaving you a shaking mess.

Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to calm down, chuckling in between each intake of breath when you felt Sukuna planting ephemeral kisses on your feverish skin, working his way up this time, worshipping your body before catching your lips in his where you tasted yourself on him.

"Can I eat you forever?" he asked with a groan. "You taste exquisite, my love."

"Alright," you panted, "But before that..." You looked him in the eye, running your hand down his chiseled abs until you reached the band of his boxers, excitement filling you as you palmed his crotch over the fabric. You snickered when his whole body seized on top of you, but you were just as out of breath feeling how massive and warm he was against your palm. You bit your lip as your hand moved, rubbing him slowly. Sukuna's eyes drooped a little as he drank in the clouded look in your eyes.

Satoru wasn't wrong about the condoms, and it further got proven to you when you pushed Sukuna’s underwear down and he rose up to his knees, finishing the job. You swore your eyes were going to pop out of their sockets when his length was released from its restraints, slapping against his stomach, thick, long and standing proud, its pink tip leaking precum that dripped down, following a prominent vein on its underside. You never wanted to put anything in your mouth as much as you wanted his dick, but the idea of it stretching you and ripping you apart from between your legs was more intriguing.

Sukuna smirked down at you. "Like what you see, sweetheart?"

"That's an understatement." You swallowed hard, taking you herculean effort to look at his face instead. "I don't just wanna look at it though."

He reached over to the nightstand, taking out that familiar bag from Satoru, quickly rummaging through it. "I'd be insulted if that's all you wanna do." He said as he took out a packet, about to rip it but you shook your head, taking it away from him.

He arched a brow at you. "You don't...Are you –"

"Stop asking me if I'm sure. I'm certain as I'll ever be." You smiled at him. "Or maybe I'll change my mind if you keep asking."

Laughing, he bent down, positioning himself between your legs as he took possession of your lips once more. You took a deep breath when you felt his tip nudging between your folds, teasing you while he busied himself with tracing the topography of your body as if committing it to memory.

Watching him now, you wished you've met him earlier in your life, loved him longer than you have at present. If you knew someone like Sukuna would come to care for you as much as he does, even in acts that are mostly governed by sheer instinct and senses, driven by need and lust, you would have combed the earth to find him. He cares so damn much for you that you knew he will find it in him to stop if you just said so even at his own expense.

"Sukuna..." his name spilled from your mouth, wanting him all for yourself, body, heart and soul. "Baby, please..." You were pleading, but for what, you didn't know exactly.

"Yes, my love?" he questioned, a smug grin playing at the corners of his mouth as he watched the mess that you are beneath him. "Tell me what you want."

"You," you whimpered, raising your hip to meet his cock, hard and burning on your skin. "I want you," you breathed out, the delicious torture in your voice coming to a crescendo when he thrust in agonizingly slow, making your wish his command.

He stretched you, gradually, gently as if he was afraid to break you, but your breath hitched for a different reason entirely. His girth left a slight burn as he pushed in, the rapturous feel of him invading your space and being wrapped in your flesh making a heated mess out of you as you grabbed everything you can get a grip on – the sheets, his shoulders, the pillow nearest to you – trying to anchor yourself from the sudden high of knowing he was inside you.

Your eyes watered at the sheer thought of being connected to him so deeply, and you found yourself falling to blissful surrender when he finally bottomed out. You felt him twitch inside you, but instead of moving as he wished, he cupped your face, delicately brushing his fingers over your flushed cheeks. He had that look of disquiet as he examined your expressions.

"You okay?"

You nodded, beaming in your state of stupor. "Please…move."

Sukuna begins to do as he was told, sliding in and out and acquainting you to his rhythm, his intense eyes hooded yet intense as he regarded you, aware of every nuance of your expressions with every single thrust. He started picking up the pace when he felt you wrap your legs around him, hitting you deeper every single time.

Pleasurable groans elicited from Sukuna's lips as he held himself up, driving his hips against yours repeatedly. "You're so tight," he rasped, his snagged breaths hot on your ears. "You feel so good."

"So good," you repeated, completely going out of it when the mere brushing of his rod against your walls drove you over the edge. You clenched tight around him and he let out a groan, eyes rounding when he realized you were close.

"Let go, baby. Cum for me," he said between pants as he pounded onto you unrelentingly.

You spoke broken syllables of his name as you came around him, riding you through your high. Acid white flashes started to flash behind your eyelids, your back arching from the bed as you keened loudly, too enraptured and absorbed in the pleasure that he was giving you.

However, before you could even recover, Sukuna lifted you off the bed, holding you against him so that your breast were rubbing against his taut chest. You wrapped your arms around him, gripping onto his shoulders while you sat astride him on your knees.

"You'll give me one more, won't you, my love?" he said, thrusting up to you whilst he gripped your waist so tight you knew you will have bruises after, making you meet every single push of his thick length.

Both your moans filled the room along with skin hitting skin, the friction between you two kept at bay by the sheen of sweat that covered your bodies. He held onto the back of your neck, roughly kissing you, your tongues dancing the lovers' minuet. Your lungs begged for air, but you were reluctant to be released from Sukuna's wild kisses while he fucked you senseless.

"Fuck," he growled through gritted teeth. "I love you," he whispered repeatedly like a mantra.

You felt him getting harder inside you as he hastened his pace, ramming into you faster and stronger, and in no time, you were screaming out his name as you came undone again with him following shortly after you did, a deep groan falling out of his mouth in a dragged out note when he spilled his seed inside of you, making you feel even fuller, your walls throbbing around his softening length.

Spent, you both fell back on the welcoming softness of the mattress with him still inside you. He landed on top of you, catching his breath while he rested his head on the crook of your neck while you wrapped your arm around him, your fingers carding through his damp locks.

“You’re amazing, Y/N,” he purred in hushed tones once he caught your breath.

Your brows furrowed in perplexity. “I didn’t do anything.”

He shook his head, pulling out and rolling away, his eyes between your thighs, watching as your mixed juices dripped down on the sheets. “I’m not just talking about your body and how you felt. That in itself is amazing, but I’m referring to everything that you are.”

You felt heat creeping up your neck, all the way to your scalp. Abashed, you covered your face with your hands. “Don’t say things like that. You’re making me a shy mess. Geez.”

“Hey, look at me.” He clucked his tongue when you didn’t move, taking your hands off of your face. When you finally did as you were told, he said, “I mean it. Sometimes, I can’t believe you’re real.”

“I should be saying that. You’re so kind to me, and I feel how much you care for me every single time you say or do something. And I’m just selfish, really.”

“No, you’re not?”

“I am, Sukuna. I want you all to myself from that time you first kissed me, but I didn’t really do much to make that happen because I’m also a wimp, so thank you for going the extra mile for me.” You smiled slightly, feeling your eyes fill with tears.

“Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true. You’re always the one putting in the effort.”

“Because I want to.” He suddenly sat up, pulling you by the arm to lift you up when you gasped, feeling a sudden jolt of pain at the base of your back and the joints on your thighs at your sudden movement. “What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed.

You raised a finger, moving on the mattress on your own while you held onto his arm for support. “Give me a moment.”

Sukuna regarded you with wide eyes. “Did I hurt you?” He sat beside you, wrapping arm around your shoulder and soothingly rubbing your arm. “Are you aching anywhere?”

“A bit, but it’s the good kind.” You smirked at him. “You’re amazing,” you said, imitating his tone earlier when he said you’re beautiful, your eyes traveling to his crotch. “You wrecked me, my love.”

He didn’t know whether to laugh or be upset. “You say the most outrageous things and it doesn’t help that you don’t hold back either.”

“Too shocking?” you offered.

“Scandalous!” he quipped, chuckling and you joined in on the laughter, the merry sound breaking through the stillness. “Can I carry you now?”

“Sure.” You lifted your arms, latching onto his neck, letting him take you to the bathroom.

“Let’s wash up and take a dip.”

You nodded and let him have his way around you, standing on the shower stall with him as he did everything while you just held onto him, your legs still wobbly. He kissed you on the cheek, the action soft and delicate, filling you with happiness. You can’t believe he is real.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he spoke against your skin.

You pulled away from him, placing your hand on either side of his face, and with a triumphant smile, you said, “I’m not. Never will be.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more. Don’t argue.” You pecked him on the lips.

Sukuna beamed at you toothily. “Alright, sweetheart.”

He carried you out of the bath and out of the sliding doors that led to the hot spring, setting you down into the water carefully as if you’d break if he didn’t take caution. The hot water felt glorious on your skin, immediately melting the knots of your muscles as you sat between his legs, both of you submerged chest-deep.

“Damn, that feels good,” you sighed, mollified as you leaned against Sukuna’s broad chest, closing your eyes in bliss. “I can stay here forever.”

“Are you talking about the hot spring?”

“Yes and no,” you said without hesitation. “The water feels nice, but it wouldn’t be complete without you holding me.”

“You’re being sweet now after bossing me around earlier?” He wrapped his arms around you, placing his chin on your shoulder. “We can always come here when we both have free time. And I’ll always hold you like this.”

“I like that.”

“I love you,” he mumbled, nuzzling on the spot below your ear and breathing in deeply. “You smell divine.”

“I know. I smell like you.”

“Thank heavens then cause that’s what seemed to lure you to me,” he kidded.

You just smiled, reaching blindly to place your palm on his cheek, trying to get a semblance of reality although it was already staring you in the face, the emotions and sensations he has making you feel very much real, but you seem to be in a dream state, unable to come to terms with the fact that spring has finally come for you in the person of the man whose arms held you tight and close to his heart.

“Sukuna…”

“Yes, my love?”

“Thanks for existing."

-THE END-

So, I made Megumi's mom's name here "Miriai." I made her an OC because I can't just keep referring to her as "she/her." It's quite confusing. I hope this doesn't bother anyone. I cringed, too, trust me.

Okay, Toji is also OOC here. Haha! I went all the way with conjuring these characteristics and since Sukuna, my love, is super soft here (he has cherry blossom tats XD), why not Toji, too?

Anyway, I would like to say thank you to everyone who read this fic! Stay tuned for more. Love you guys :)

Additional notes are available in the masterlist, particularly on the reasons why I wrote some things the way I did.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20210630]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART SOURCES FULLY CREDITED TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[oneefin]

puzzle rojak solutions are out! i had a lot of great moments with these puzzles and i'll share some of them below. long post with spoilers incoming!

i'll lead by saying that at the time we finished the hunt 100%, we were one of the only teams to have forward solved everything - so we got a very full experience out of the hunt.

ups and downs

this was our first solve of the hunt, we figured out what was going on pretty quickly. shoutouts to DOINK, which isn't a snake or a ladder but we cherish nonetheless:

chemistry test

we thought the answer to this was pretty appropriate to how we (non-chemists) felt about it

pig-tac-toe

this is one of those ideas that's just like. awesome. one very neat, very simple idea with a novel extraction method that feels fresh despite being very puzzle-hunty.

for this one, niv fetched us a pig gif and we had fun conversations about rice

fast time

i had a powerful eureka moment here upon seeing "RED CAR" and shouting "IT'S RUSH HOUR". i didn't know any of these people or about the film called rush hour, so after i said this luny thought i had just popped off and made a movie trivia get for the first time in my life. sadly not

selective sounds detection

our team had the fastest solve on this one! we're all musicians so this was right up our alley

find waldo

we briefly added MIT Mystery Hunt 2024 to our team roster after seeing this, but we left our actual names in there so that other teams would know that it's not part of it. there was another team who actually erased all of their members and left Puzzle Potluck 4, which we figured could be ruled out - but i saw a couple other teams weren't so lucky

shoutouts to galactic trendsetters violet for making and sticking with this play:

jenga

oh boy, onto a real one.

so we knew this was going to be really sprawling. anything that requires you to track the state of something across a span of time usually ends up being pretty complex. i know other teams were notating for efficiency and clarity - but for us it was extremely important that our notation looked beautiful.

that's form over function for ya

we had to finagle with borders a lot when putting this together, but it was totally worth it. i also visualized the tower toppling at the end by screenshotting the final state and rotating it:

zebra puzzle

honestly, i've seen similar things before, but this was still pretty and cool. both halves of the solve were breezy and satisfying, and the extractions just made sense. a picture perfect hunt puzzle

i know my abcs!

i just really liked the numberlink :) also given the restriction placed on this puzzle by the later puzzle i know my patterns!, it's amazing to me that this construction was so potent.

even though it's not a big deal, i gotta say that i'm a bit let down by the aesthetic of the spreadsheets shown on the solution page for this puzzle. ours looks like this:

and theirs looks like this:

(i asked them about this and it's gonna get corrected so horray! ty rojak team)

game theory

this was another really sick idea - not quite as self-contained as pig-tac-toe was, but brilliant nonetheless.

measuring kurrent

loved the moment when we (by we i mean luny) realized what this puzzle was about. had an awesome time piecing together the mechanic at play here, and the google sheet they made for this puzzle is absolutely gorgeous.

six flags

we had no idea what to do with this originally - then we unlocked a few more from this round, realized what was going on, and came back. from there it came together smoothly.

our sheet doesn't contain a visualization of these flags, but it should. we should've done it.

i know my patterns!

i alluded to liking this puzzle earlier in the post, but like wow that was cool. going from matching swatches of dropquote to the abcs grid, noticing that the black squares are all R-Z, and then going "suddenly sudoku????" was amazing, and getting the cluephrase ITS A ME WHO was incredibly powerful, like that's a cluephrase if i've ever seen one

altius meta

this is the sort of meta where we knew that solving it with incomplete information would be very, very hard. so on only five of the six answers, we cranked it out. it was a process of collaborative bifurcation - we managed to eliminate all possibilities of completing the middle grid, meaning that the missing answer had to go there, and then we managed to find the only possible arrangement for the left grid, then the right grid. very fortunate that we managed to extract the right answer from _EAKC_O_O - otherwise it would have been very unsatisfying!

niv then got us the aha for the last puzzle we needed right after finishing :P

communiter meta

ok, one last one. this round was great and i thought this pure meta was a great way to send it home.

i made the realization about the answers to the paired puzzles also having a matching letter that got us to the end, which was super satisfying. maybe there's a world where luny could have anagrammed GILE_ to the right answer, but that would have been less fun

our team finished puzzle rojak 2! i had a great time. i found most of the puzzles to be pretty straightforward in their design - but not so straightforward as to feel stale. the good kind of straightforward :)

we were hovering at placements around the 50s basically the entire time

when the hunt is over i will post goodies from our chat + google sheets logs

[acacia-rose]

Spoiler alert: solitaire

I finished reading it and i don't really have anyone to talk about it so here I'll be posting my rambling and it's gonna be a MAJOR SPOILER!

Just in case you don't accidentally read next paragraph here are some scenes of tori spring in heartstopper ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡

Probably sipping diet lemonade? It's definitely not tea. She HATES TEA. (So do I, hey but no coming at me).

Backhanded compliment, classic siblings :)

I think it's enough?

So i finished reading solitaire and OH MY GOD it's like i have taken a roller coaster ride, no literally! Like how on a roller coaster you know that it's gonna be a hell of a ride! But you're still nervous, a bit scared, excited, it's like a serotonin and adrenaline boost! It was exactly the same with this book. The story line is just out there, it's kinda predictable and if you've read radio silence then you'll get the hints but it still keeps you on edge, makes you nervous and you can't just stop!!! It's so emotionally heavy even though tori kept her emotions in bag like for most part of it, but in part two it gets like a hurricane of stuff! I love it! I may or may not have cried a bit, not because of pity towards like anyone but because of the whole thing it just takes your emotions with you and you experience them, strangely you don't explicitly judge any character, maybe a tiny bit in end but i was already so exhausted by all the stuff that all I could do was this 🤦 I LOVE TORI SPRING, no strong feeling with holden but i still waited for him to make an entry! It's like tori springs into action whenever he enters the frame (got the pun?! Eh? Sorry) either willingly or not willingly, it's still there. And Lucas, i understand you? But i do condemn his actions. Like bro WTF. And Evelyn you're dumb!! Becky you're- you're- yeah. And it's so cute how tori behaves and thinks of her siblings. It's like tori has immense patience for ollie and immense respect and kindness for Charlie. I kinda don't understand her mother's character though...like I'm neutral about her. And the storyline I'm just speechless, i seriously can't talk about it it's so much! What i absolutely love is understanding the timeline of events with respect to heartstopper and radio silence like it's like a puzzle pieces being put together, gives you a sense of achievement. It's awesome 😻

[your-turn-to-role]

Don't know if this has been said before, but what if Molly's soul is still hidden away in the body, although still around about the level when he died, so it's when Lucien gets taken to 0 hit points or something he's weak enough for Molly to finish him off from the inside

(I don't say it as a "this is what I think's going to happen" sort of thing, it'd just be cool & I'm thinking out loud)

so, i’m gonna ramble a lot about this before i get to your question, because this actually gives me a really good opportunity to talk about something i’ve been wanting to for a while and haven’t made the post yet

i’ve, honestly been really confused by everyone going “oh what if molly’s soul is still in there”, as if molly and lucien are two separate souls fighting over a body, and one’s possessed the other or whatever (especially when beacon theories get involved)

but like... that’s not what happened. to explain, lucien was the original soul. weird cult shit aside, he was an otherwise normal tiefling from shadycreek, who hired vess derogna to help him cast some kind of ritual involving that book

she went along with it, but didn’t actually want lucien’s plans to succeed. she’d read the book extensively herself, she also had nine eyes across her body, but she wanted no part of whatever the somnovem is doing. so when she cast the ritual on lucien, she modified it, and instead of its intended purpose, it shattered lucien’s soul into pieces, intending to make it impossible for him to be resurrected. the tombtakers found his body, seemingly dead, buried him in the woods outside their hideout, and scattered across the continent per lucien’s emergency instructions, plan lost

until the one piece of his soul left in his body slowly managed to wake up. a full soul isn’t actually required to keep a body alive, especially if there’s other weird magic involved, and this piece is very determined. it’s missing the rest of itself, and trying to come to terms with that - doesn’t remember anything, takes months to be able to speak, other than one word, haunted by the emptiness it’s now feeling, and the only other vague memory in their head is of the dark dark magic that brought them here. eventually, like any living creature, they grow, and develop, and move on from that. they were given a new start, a new name, and a family that loved them. molly learned how to be a person, not knowing anything different, and gave himself a whole new identity, had friends, had family, that lucien didn’t. but nothing new was added to the mix other than the love he got from the circus, everything else he built himself

(i’ve had a couple people say to me “well lucien isn’t a reliable source, he could be lying or mistaken about what happened”, and just from my personal insight, i don’t think he’s lying, but even if he was wrong about molly being a piece of his soul and not a whole new soul entirely - molly doesn’t match the symptoms of being a soul given to a new body. but you know what he does match near perfectly? egtw’s description of a hollow one, a being resurrected without a soul)

(he had at least part of one, we know that, we can see it, in lucien, they’re too similar, and molly doesn’t register as undead like hollow ones do. but i’m guessing if a fractured piece of a soul found itself back in its body without the rest of it? it would sound something like this)

“Yet some beings find that, days after they died, they awaken, clutching to life, with only a terrible emptiness inside to remind them of their death.”

“The transition from life to becoming a Hollow One affects different people to different degrees. Some let their anger and regret consume them. Others use their second chance to become a brighter force in the world. However, all Hollow Ones are marked by their new existence: feelings of unease, dread or sadness cling to them like tattered rags of their past life.”

so then he dies. and the mighty nein tell cree. and she spends months looking for a way to bring lucien back. i don’t know exactly how she does it, but she does, collects all (or at least more of, he may be missing some things still) those fragments of his very shattered soul and puts them back together. lucien doesn’t remember everything that molly did, the person he grew to be, and who’s to say really which part of a soul is responsible for memories? if you were to shatter his soul again in the same way, would the part that was molly remember, or would it have to go through the same thing all over again?

but it also leads us to an interesting question of, how does a soul get made. a baby still waiting to be born doesn’t have a soul yet, we know that because of how the beacon works

is each new child not connected to the luxon given a soul by the gods? or do they grow their own, as they learn to be their own person

did molly essentially turn a soul fragment into a whole soul, just by living? and if he did... what part is in lucien now

i’m honestly inclined to believe that lucien’s soul is back together, including the molly part, because of all the ways they’re similar, i think those all came from that fragment. but there’s three options here, 1) the soul fragment that was molly is back as just another puzzle piece, he’s essentially dead, and the purpose of his story is that you don’t have to keep living to keep having an impact on the world, molly has changed things permanently despite how short he lived 2) he did grow a second soul, and that fragment they share is shared, back in lucien’s body, but either molly in the afterlife is missing a piece, or there’s more than 100% of a soul in that body, weirdly stuck together and probably not that noticeable as wrong because there’s already a thousand other voices in there 3) he did grow a second soul, and it’s gone. he left for the afterlife and that piece was unrecoverable, and now lucien’s walking around with 80% of a soul

the first is my belief, honestly, and the only way to get molly back is to shatter lucien in the same way, and hope he still has those repressed memories. the third is what would make molly resurrectable, if you were to kill lucien.

the second, however, is the only thing that really makes sense with molly being “still in there”, and if that 80% of a new soul can manage to wake up from whatever’s going on in lucien’s head, it’s possible!

it would also be pretty symbolically cool bc, while matt changed the blood hunter class a lot recently so it’s no longer a feature (give me back the cool ghostslayer, pls), back when molly was alive, the subtype he was? at high levels he’d get the ability to keep fighting in ghost form after his body fell unconscious, as long as he didn’t die. and i mean fuck if that’s not exactly what he’d be doing here