#I'm going to keep my tags until my next theme change. and I'm going to guess late October for when that'll be

[nordicbananas]

ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴅɪᴇꜱ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇ!

shroom, they/her! <3 very active, pop in to chat whenever! :)

check out my side blogs! art/writing @burnt-pygmalion, crochet @amigushroomie, iwatex @exoshroommie. ask for url of selfship blog <3

old pinned <3 matching pfps with @the-twiggles!!

[runnning-outof-time]

Change His Ways | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: no

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: In which Tommy falls for a woman out of his reach and does whatever it takes to get closer to her.

Warnings: Tommy’s certainly not canon here, language, smoking, religious themes (Tommy goes to church)

Word Count: 4025

A/N: I dusted this WIP off because I was itching to keep writing after I finished my celebration blurbs. The idea has Tommy ooc, but it was one that I just had to write down while reading a book - I’ll share a bit more about it down below for those who are interested (it’s based on a true story). Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in stories similar to this one!

Tommy's world stopped the second he saw her. She was in Polly's main room, gathering her cleaning supplies as he stepped into the home. He watched from the doorway as she tried, but failed, to take them all into her arms, the bucket and broom falling to the ground. "I'm so sorry, Ms. Gray," she quickly apologized to the woman standing next to the fireplace for the commotion, crouching down to - try and - gather it once more. Polly didn't say anything, only watching on as the younger woman struggled.

"Let me help you, miss," Tommy spoke up, balancing the cigarette he was smoking between his lips before he stepped over to her, leaning down to grab the stick of the broom before she could.

"Oh, thank you, mister," she smiled over at him, her (y/e/c) eyes instantly mesmerizing Tommy. He almost forgot what he was doing.

"Where do these need to go?" he asked after clearing his throat and pulling himself from his thoughts.

"Just outside. My father's picking me up," she responded, smiling over at him gratefully. He felt like she had knocked the wind out of him.

"Alright then," he nodded, standing in time with her and taking a bucket from her full hands so that she'd have less to carry. He then let her lead him out to where an older looking farm-typed truck was waiting. The man sitting in the driver's seat just glared at Tommy, who ignored his presence altogether. "Should be it," he remarked as he sat the broom and bucket into the back of the truck.

"Thank you, really," the woman smiled at him.

"You're welcome," Tommy nodded politely before she got in the truck and he walked back up the path to his aunt's house. Polly was standing in the entryway with her arms crossed when Tommy re-entered the house. "What, Pol?" he questioned, brushing past her into the main room.

"She's a good woman, Thomas," she heeded a warning. A warning that Tommy disregarded completely.

Tommy showed up at Polly's every day for a week until he figured out what times the unnamed, beautiful woman was present at the house. And each time she was, he would help her with the things that she needed to carry out to her father's truck.

He didn't quite get to his destination today because the very person he was looking forward to seeing was walking along the sidewalk about three blocks from his aunt's house. He slowed down his car with his brow furrowed, and bent his head down to look at her. "All ok?" he asked after he watched her take a few more struggled steps. "Your father coming to pick you up?"

"Not today," she shook her head, the tone of her voice showing how much she was struggling to keep everything in her arms. "He's been held up at the farm."

Tommy was out of his car the second he heard her answer. He walked around the side of it with a quickened pace before he took the bigger cleaning supplies from her arms. "I can take you home," he offered, already opening the back door of his car before she gave him an answer to set the supplies he'd taken inside.

"Oh I can't bother you like that," she tried to decline his offer politely, but Tommy didn't want to hear it.

"I insist," he stressed, his eyebrows raised slightly to show his seriousness. He held his eyes on her and saw her weary expression form into a smile. She nodded her head in agreement before he opened the passenger's side door for her to get into the car. Once she was in, he shut the door and walked back around to the driver's side.

"Do you have a name, sir?" she asked him almost immediately after he'd sat in the front seat, "because I feel like I should know the name of the man that has so kindly offered me a ride."

"It's Thomas Shelby," he said, clearing his throat before adding: "you can call me Tommy though."

The woman smiled at him. “It’s nice to meet you, officially, Tommy. Thank you for driving me home," she spoke politely. “My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N)," she added, her cheeks heating up slightly when she realized that she hadn't formally introduced herself to him.

"It's nice to officially meet you as well, (Y/N)," he couldn't help but smile as he tried her name out for himself, "and there's no need to thank me...the pleasure's all mine here," he concluded his sentence by turning his car back on and pulling away from the sidewalk so that he could take her home.

There was an older man leaning up against the side of a rusted farm truck as Tommy pulled into the driveway that (Y/N) said was hers. He looked rather intimidating standing there, and if Tommy wasn't in the line of work that he was, he definitely would have been put off by him.

"Hi, daddy," (Y/N) smiled as she got out of the car so that she could grab her supplies from the back. She was too slow, however, because Tommy already had it in his hands.

"Where do you want this?" he asked her.

"Just by the shed over there," she answered as she motioned to said shed, "I can place them where they need to go later." Tommy nodded and then walked the short distance so that he could rest the supplies against the wall of the shed. "Thank you, Tommy," she sent him a bright smile once he'd finished.

"You're welcome," he nodded, deciding that being paid in her smiles would be better than any lump sum of money he could ever receive.

"You Thomas Shelby?" (Y/N)'s father then came into the situation, his voice making Tommy's expression go serious as he turned to face the older man.

"I am," he nodded, extending his hand.

"What are your intentions with my daughter?" her father got right to the point, glancing at the hand but not shaking it.

Tommy found himself feeling like a young boy again, and it made him wonder just how interested he was in (Y/N) for him to be feeling like this. "I brought her home. She was struggling with carrying the supplies," he explained himself.

The older man looked Tommy up and down before nodding slightly. "Ok," was all he said before he turned and started to walk over to one of the barns on the property.

"Thank you, Tommy," (Y/N) sent him another smile, pulling him out of the confused stupor that was brought on by the previous conversation. "I hope you make it home safely."

"You're welcome, (Y/N)," he responded, loving how her name sounded coming from his mouth. He then returned her wave before he walked to his car and got into it, backing down the driveway and away from the beautiful woman who was standing and watching him leave.

"I think you're a bloody idiot for coming up with that idea," Polly spoke her mind after Tommy had finished explaining to her where he'd gone a few days ago.

"That's why I'm doing it properly," Tommy tried to work a different angle.

"Properly or not, the (Y/L/N)'s are a God-fearing family, and I can't remember the last time you stepped into a church with the intent of speaking to the Maker," she remarked, quirking an eyebrow in his direction. Tommy sighed in response, shaking his head as he brought the cigarette back up to his mouth. He and Polly then stared at each other for a few moments before the woman sighed and hung her head, "but you'll still give it a try anyway," she stated in defeat, knowing just by his glance alone that her nephew's mind was made up.

Tommy cleared his throat as he stood from the chair in Polly's living room. He grabbed his coat and pulled it over his shoulders so that he was ready to leave the house. Polly tried to call after him, but he wasn't listening to her words as he opened the door and exited the dwelling. After getting in the car and starting its engine, he began driving to (Y/N)'s house with the full intention of winning her father over.

"You cannot court my daughter," (Y/N)'s father spoke firmly from where he sat across from Tommy in the front room.

"She's a very lovely woman, and I will be a gentleman to her," he tried to sway the older man, laying on the Shelby charm in full force, "all I am asking is for a date with her." If only his family could hear him now.

"If you want to see my daughter, you'll see her at church," her father decided, nodding his head once to show his decision was final.

"Mr. (Y/L/N)..."

"Save it, Shelby," the older man cut Tommy off, standing to leave the conversation. Tommy watched him walk, knowing there was nothing more that could be done. He also stood, showing himself out. He looked to the farmhouse after opening the door to his car and saw (Y/N) standing in one of the second floor windows. A sigh escaped his lips. He knew what to do.

Tommy met the (Y/L/N)'s at their church that Sunday. No one bothered to question how he knew where they worshiped, and he was thankful that he didn't need to explain.

They all sat in the same pew, Tommy to the right of (Y/N), of course, while her father sat on her left. He didn't listen much to the sermons, or participate in singing along with the choir.

He did, however, try to get even closer to (Y/N). After a few glances down, he slowly inched his hand closer to her lap. At first he attempted to take hold of her hand. She moved it away the second she felt his fingers brush hers. But she didn't look his way though, still focused on what the preacher was saying. So he let his hand stay there. Instead of holding hers, he flipped his palm down and draped his fingers over the curve of her thigh.

His hand had just started to warm from her body heat when he felt a sharp, but silent, smack land on the back of it. It made him remove his hand and quickly look her way. She was still looking straight ahead. Tommy kept his eyes on her, his brows furrowed. He was sure that he hadn't imagined that; she'd just smacked him.

The feeling of his eyes on her made (Y/N) glance to her right. She knew he wouldn't look away until he addressed her. But her father would instantly know that her attention had been taken off of the message being told. Ever-so-slowly, she leaned closer to Tommy, getting close enough so that he could hear her whisper. "There should be no touching in the Lord's house. It's considered blasphemy."

Tommy couldn't respond because she sat straight again the second she finished speaking. He took one last look at her before looking straight again, his hand resting on his thigh once again.

Tommy continued going to church with (Y/N) and her family every Sunday, and eventually they got into a routine of him walking her back home.

Every Sunday, they'd stop at the beginning of her dirt driveway, and she'd thank him with a kiss on his cheek. They'd then say their goodbyes and she'd begin walking to her house. Tommy would stay and watch, waiting until she was on her porch before he left.

This Sunday was different. (Y/N) was unusually quiet on the way home. The walk that was normally filled with her sweet laughter and entertaining stories was now overruled by silence.

They stopped at the end of her driveway, and (Y/N) turned so that she could face him. Tommy's eyes were immediately on her, and he noticed that she was looking at the ground. "I won't be in church next Sunday," she finally spoke, playing with her fingers in hopes it'd give her something to focus on. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes then, seeing that he was looking out at the fields for a moment. Thinking now'd be the best time to say goodbye, she lifted her head and leaned in to press her lips to his cheek.

Tommy turned to talk to her at that same moment, and he was met with the most rewarding accident he'd ever been given in his life when his lips met hers. The kiss was soft, quick, and innocent. Too quick for his liking.

(Y/N) pulled back with a gasp the second she realized what was happening. She looked at him then, her eyes now opened wide; looking as if she'd just seen a ghost, or a horrible crime be committed. I've fucked this up, Tommy thought to himself, the breath caught in his throat. The worst part about it was that he didn't quite know what to say that could make the situation better.

So he just stared at (Y/N), watching as her eyes searched his for what seemed like eternity. Then, after what felt like forever, (Y/N) leaned in and pressed her lips to his again. She kissed him more soundly this time, and he took hold of her waist to make sure that she wouldn't leave him too soon. When she eventually moved to pull back, he let her, keeping his eyes closed when she stayed close and rested her forehead against his.

"Why?" he asked once their breathing had returned to normal.

"Huh?" she was clearly confused by his sudden question, and she finally pulled back to look at him once more, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Why won't you be there, love?" he asked with a soft laugh, squeezing her waist softly as he remembered that he was still holding onto her.

Realization struck her and her confusion melted into a sheepish smile, remembering what they were talking about before the kiss happened. "My family and I are traveling to see my grandparents. We'll go to the service at their church since we'll be staying through the weekend," she explained the reason behind her initial statement.

"Should I find you there?" he asked her then, wondering if he could still make things work. He'd been seeing her every Sunday for a month and a half now, and he'd be lying if he said that he didn't look forward to it every week.

"There's no need for that, Tommy," she giggled, her stomach filling with butterflies at the sweetness of his voice. "I'll be home before you know it."

"Then I'll be waiting," he nodded, showing his sincerity as he squeezed her waist once more, his actions making her smile. His eyes flitted down to her lips then, their closeness and inviting nature becoming paramount in his mind again. "Can I?" he asked permission before doing anything, something he never could have imagined himself doing weeks ago.

"Please do," she smiled at him, her hands finding his collar as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers once more.

"Fuck," Tommy huffed, pressing his fingers to his eyes in frustration.

"So what do we do, Tom?" Arthur asked his brother, clasping his peaked cap in his hands. "He's there. He's for the taking. We could just..."

"No," Tommy cut him off abruptly, leaning forward so that he could rest his elbows on the desk and put his head in his hands, "no, there'll be problems if we do that."

"Then what?" John chimed in, a bit of an incredulous look present on his face. "We know he did it. He shouldn't get to even think he got away with it."

"We do it another way," Tommy insisted.

"What way?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know yet," Tommy huffed, finally looking at his brothers before he continued, "but you fuckers better not try anything." He accented his direction by pointing at each of the two men as he spoke, his eyes wide to convey his seriousness.

Silence fell in the room then. John and Arthur shared a look before focusing back on their brother. They were both thinking the same thing...but who was going to be the one to say it?

Arthur looked to John again. "Seems like our brother's gotten himself a new perspective," he commented aloud, seeing Tommy's eyes snap to him from the corner of his.

A grin formed on John's face as he heard his older brother speak. Arthur was the one to cast the first stone. Now the floor was wide open. "I think it's because he's been going to that bloody church each weekend," he shared his thoughts on the situation.

Arthur shook his head. "Nah. The only reason he's going there is so he can give that girl a quick shag. You think it'll be worth it, Tom?"

Tommy was now seeing red. "What the fuck are you two going on about? Eh?!"

"That girl from Pol's place. (Y/N), was it?" John answered, even though the previous question was meant to be rhetorical.

"Yeah, yeah. That's her name. She's real pretty," Arthur commented, a smug grin now present.

Tommy couldn't take the comments anymore. He slammed his hand down on the desk, commanding their attention immediately. "Enough!" he bellowed, his eyes wide with anger. "You're not going to talk about her like that. In fact, you're not going fucking to talk about her at all. Understood?" He let out a heavy breath then, looking between the two of them before he swiped at his hair, returning the strands that had fallen over his forehead back to their resting place.

Neither John nor Arthur responded verbally to their brother's statement. Arthur let out a grunt of agreement and John merely nodded, both surprised by the show of emotion they'd just witnessed.

Tommy nodded in response to the silence. "Good. Now go out and figure out how we can get this guy. We need to do it cleanly," he gave them an order, one that made the two of them nod before turning and heading to the door.

John exited without another word, but Arthur stopped with his hand on the door's handle. He looked back to his brother, who had both of his palms placed flat on the desk as he finished recollecting himself.

"She really means something to you, doesn't she?" he broke the silence hanging in the room. His question made Tommy look up. They held eye contact for a few moments. Not a word was said. Arthur got his answer though; he could see it in Tommy's eyes. So instead of prolonging the staring contest, he nodded and exited the office.

Tommy let out a huff as the door shut, closing his eyes and tipping his head back against the chair. (Y/N) came to mind then, and he relished in the thought of her as it made his stresses wash away.

Tommy just happened to be sitting out on the floor of the betting shop when the most out of place looking person entered the building. He clocked the man speaking to Scudboat and continued working on the papers in front of him as he tried to listen into the conversation.

"Is Mr. Shelby in?"

"He's busy. You'll need an appointment. That can be arranged with his..."

"I just need to speak to him for a moment."

"You'll need to arrange an..."

"He's fine to speak with me, Scudboat," Tommy cut into the conversation, coming over to where he and (Y/N)'s father were standing by the door.

"Yes, Mr. Shelby," Scudboat bowed his head as he left the conversation, knowing he was no longer needed.

"What can I do for you, Mr. (Y/L/N)?" Tommy asked (Y/N)'s father then, his eyes trained on the man who still looked so out of place.

"I'm not here to spend any money," the older man quickly replied, a rather sour look present on his face.

"I never thought you were," Tommy responded, hoping that his level voice would ease the other man's inhibitions. "Has something happened to (Y/N)?" he asked then, his brows furrowing as a feeling of worry washed over him.

Mr. (Y/L/N) looked around the room for a moment before his eyes found Tommy's again. "Can we speak somewhere more private?" he requested, the inflection of his voice not giving Tommy any concrete answer to his question. He hated that.

"We can," the gangster nodded, then moving towards one of the private offices - a little too quickly for his liking. "Has something happened to (Y/N)?" he asked again once the two men were behind the closed door.

(Y/N)'s father sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, shaking his head every so slightly before he began speaking, "I know what you do...and I know that it's not right, nor good..." he started, his eyes darting around the room so he wouldn't have to hold Tommy's stare. "But I've seen you with my daughter, how you've tried to open up and let God into your life..." he paused again, taking another deep breath. Tommy wished he'd say what he needed to already. "She sees something in you that I can not, Mr. Shelby, and I hope that you see something in her that goes beyond physical desire."

"Way beyond, Mr. (Y/L/N)," Tommy was quick to tell him, "she's...she's changed me in ways I'd not thought possible."

"Good," the older man nodded, looking pleased with the response he'd gotten. Silence hung in the air then, and both men stared at each other. It was almost like one was waiting for the other to crack; for the other shoe to fall. Mr. (Y/L/N) was the one to speak first. "You have my blessing. You can court my daughter."

Tommy exhaled the breath he didn't know he was holding upon hearing the other man's statement. He immediately extended his hand. "Thank you, Mr. (Y/L/N)."

"Treat her well, Thomas," her father sternly said, accepting the handshake Tommy had offered.

"I will."

Tommy and (Y/N) arrived at the road to (Y/N)'s home, and (Y/N) turned to face him like she always did. She smiled at him, sweetly thanking him for walking her home from church. Tommy smiled at her, tipping his hat and making her giggle - like he usually did. (Y/N) then leaned in and pressed her lips to his, giving him the quick kiss that she'd always leave him with. This time, however, Tommy's hands found her waist and he held her close to him when she pulled away.

"Be mine," he whispered against her lips, pulling back slightly so that his eyes could find hers.

"Tommy," (Y/N) breathed in response to his statement, "my father..."

"He gave me his blessing," he assured her, "will you be mine, (Y/N)?" he asked this time.

A smile spread across (Y/N)'s lips as butterflies erupted in her stomach. This is what she'd been waiting for. Everyone had told her that Tommy Shelby was a man who was to be feared, but that was not the Tommy Shelby that she had the pleasure to know; to get close to. And now he was asking her the question she'd hoped he'd ask ever since the first kiss they shared.

"Yes, Tommy," she answered with a slight nod, excitement bubbling up inside of her, "yes, I'll be yours."

Her words made a smile form on Tommy's face, and instead of saying anything in response, he leaned in and kissed her, showing her how happy he was to hear her answer through the passion he put into the kiss. She was the only person who'd get him to change his ways...and now she was his.

**a little bit about the background: this was based off of a vignette that I read in a book about America in WWI — a man, who was rather rowdy, into no good things, took interest in a woman, and the woman’s father told him that the only way he’d get to court her is if he came to church. The man essentially changed his lifestyle around for her because he was so interested in her and they eventually got married — so just like Tommy, he got the girl.

———

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MASTERLIST

[brain-rot-central]

Sonnet of the Lone Cardinal, Ch. 8

A/N: *Dead Dove: Do Not Eat* I probably should have added that tag a while ago. I apologize for not having done so up until this point. Major tw: depictions/references of alcoholism, trauma, abuse, PTSD, panic attacks. This chapter is a mess. I'm so sorry. It's like I bet myself how much darker can I get with each chapter, lmao. Proceed with caution.

Rating: Explicit (due to the themes, really. No smut this chapter.) Word count: 6k Pairing: Ascended Astarion x Female Tav (DU, named) Warnings: 18+, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, implied alcohol abuse, trauma, past abuse, PTSD, depictions of physical abuse, unhealthy relationship Summary: Astarion readies himself for the ball, then heads to retrieve Tav. A tumultuous heart-to-heart ensues.

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‘She’s voicing doubts, my lord. How shall I proceed?’

He impatiently taps his nails against the wood of the dresser. With his other hand, Astarion brings a glass of wine to his lips. He’s chosen a mellow red for this evening; smooth going down with just the slightest bite at the back of the tongue.

‘Push forward and ignore them,’ he responds through the telepathic bond. ‘Continue getting her ready.’

There’s a brief pause before Magdalena’s response comes through.

‘As you wish, Lord Ancunín.’

Astarion severs the connection abruptly.

Taking a quick sip of wine, he places the glass on top of the dresser and sighs. Warmth blooms within his chest as crimson liquid travels down his esophagus. It's almost reminiscent of blood he's supped upon:

Her blood. The sweetest substance to have ever graced his poisoned tongue.

Astarion lifts the sleeves of his shirt and picks up a bottle of cologne on the dresser, uncorking its stopper. He tilts the bottle and dabs it gently on his left wrist. Placing the bottle back down on the bureau, Astarion rubs his wrists one over the other, spreading the scent evenly. It's his signature blend for over two centuries, the recipe little changed. He taps the mouth of the bottle lightly with the pads of his fingers, then brings them to the delicate skin behind his ears.

There's one thing that’s undeniable, even to him. He's nervous. Terribly, terribly nervous. He hasn't felt this out of control in months. Tav’s proximity is impacting him in ways he hadn't anticipated. It's intoxicating, suffocating. She's all he can think about.

How to keep her happy, wanting. To stay within her good graces.

She’s seen too much far too soon. Perhaps Astarion would have revealed everything to her in time, but certainly not at this point. Not when everything is still so fresh between them. And now that she's voicing doubts, he wants nothing more than to perform as much damage control as possible.

Her departure is simply not an option. Unless it's on agreeable terms.

Astarion is a horrid planner. It's a miracle he's stuck to this current one, though having to adjust his plan so early is distressing. It feels as though he's grasping at straws. Barely keeping his head above water. That isn't a place he enjoys being.

Tav will speak with Wyll tonight, and he's nervous. So terribly nervous of how Wyll will try souring his name. Slip a slow, creeping venom into Tav's mind, poisoning her thoughts. Astarion is nervous that all he's put into repairing the frayed bond he and Tav share will be undone by this single conversation.

He pulls down his sleeves and shrugs his shoulders, giving himself a look in the mirror. He's chosen a loose maroon dress shirt for the evening, a few buttons undone at the top and the hem tucked in. A pair of black dress slacks held fast by a black belt with a silver buckle, and brown leather shoes complete his ensemble. He draws a deep breath in, exhaling with a slight shake of his head.

It dawns on him that he isn't exactly sure what his end goal is. To charm Tav back into his arms, yes. But what else? Does he wish for more, or to keep this casual?

No.

The nonchalance of this affair stopped after the third night. 

When she held his face to hers–their foreheads pressed together as they shared the same air–Astarion knew. The shopkeeper below Tav's loft banged viciously on the ceiling, shouting muffled expletives through the floor. But Astarion was beyond caring. He sang as loud as Tav did, greedily drinking her moans as though the centuries-long hunger still consumed him.

This is very much a thing. A very real thing.

Feelings he'd hoped to have lost are involved, left over from before the ascension. He’s not happy to admit it, but it would be foolish to deny their existence.

The remnants of him. 

The sad, pitiful spawn. Groveling in the dirt, forced onto his back by the whim of another. How truly misguided his trust had been at the hour of his death. Astarion shakes his head free of the thought before it can warp further.

Yet, a sinking reality sets in.

That's who she wants, though… isn't it? 

The man he was? There's little chance Tav feels for him now. She may never again, not after all she's seen. 

This provokes another thought to come forward.

Did she ever want him beyond what his body could offer? He's almost sure of it, but most importantly…

Why does he care now?

There are times when he looks into her eyes that Astarion almost sees it. The classic look she gives only to him. The one that makes his knees falter and his heart race. The longing laced within her gaze. It makes him wish he could sequester her back to his chamber and have her sing his name, his praises, until the sun comes up.

Astarion would willingly be her protector. The fulfiller of all her wishes. He would make it abundantly clear how none of what he has could have been possible without her. How he wishes to share all of this with her. He will do anything, everything, to prove that to her.

Everything, aside from admitting one small thing. And as he gazes into the mirror, Astarion rolls his eyes and scoffs.

Love.

What a foolish concept.

He picks up a silver chain necklace from the bureau and fastens it around his neck. Rubies adorn the solid silver pendant of the necklace and Astarion adjusts it to hang between the open lapels of his shirt, against his bare chest. The metal is cool as it lays against his skin. It's only then that he realizes how flushed he is. 

How his heart jumps in his throat.

Astarion reaches for the glass of wine once more, stealing another sip. The sting on the back of his tongue soothes the ache. For now.

His dagger, Rhapsody, is the last item to prepare. Originally owned by a corrupt master, but taken as a spoil of war. It's dull now and essentially for show, but he cares not. Astarion stows a separate sharpened blade on his outer ankle at all times, hidden by the length of his trousers; a habit left over from his past life. He secures the dagger's holster around his left thigh, attaching it to his belt, then slips the blade within.

Tav will be on his right arm when they make their entrance. That's at least what he has planned.

Brushing a few stray hairs into place, Astarion gives himself a final look in the mirror. Satisfied, he chokes back the remainder of the wine he's been nursing all evening, slamming the glass down hard onto the dresser. 

A glimmer of light jumps in his periphery as his fist connects with the wood and Astarion looks. A golden ring with a turquoise gemstone sits within a clear case, nestled within a bed of velvet.

True Love’s Caress. 

The ring Tav gave to him, so long ago.

Astarion quickly opens the case, slipping the ring onto the fourth finger of his left hand, and heads out into the hall. As he walks down the long corridor toward Tav’s room, he nods absently at those he sees along the way.

His chest begins to burn, his mind growing clouded.

Why does he care if she stays? Does he really need her? Ultimately, no. But…

Astarion has unlimited wealth and resources. A plethora of lords and ladies would all but collapse at his feet for an opportunity to become his betrothed. Throw in the chance of eternal life, and that list is bound to grow exponentially.

He doesn't notice the speed in which he's barreling down the hall until he almost walks face first into a silver tray holding freshly cut fruit, carried by an unsuspecting servant. “M-my apologies, my lord!” the young woman gasps, clamoring for control over the tray as it sways in her hands.

Astarion doesn't recall ever seeing this one before. Magdalena is responsible for the staffing of the palace. Regardless, he raises a hand and gives the young woman a short bow in apology, continuing on his way.

His vision sways as the wine finally takes hold.

No, he doesn't necessarily need Tavaria. He’d go about his time just fine without her. But… would he enjoy it? Would he be satisfied?

Astarion stops dead in his tracks, clenching his fists hard enough for his nails to bite into the skin of his palms.

…Does he want for this?

No, he couldn't possibly. He's the vampire ascendant! The most powerful vampire lord to have ever lived. The waking dream of all his kind. He wants for nothing. Has no need of groveling in the dirt. The world is his playground, and he will take whatever it is he desires. It's what he's owed after two hundred years of shit.

Pure shit.

The gods turned their backs on him during his most desperate hour of need. They'll have little choice but to acknowledge him now.

No, Tav should be thanking him for being so generous as to give her a second chance. Another opportunity of having every decadence life has to offer handed to her. Wealth, power, pleasure. So much pleasure that she needn’t ask for it ever again. Astarion would see to that personally.

If she chooses wisely.

He straightens his posture and gives his head a quick shake, strengthening his resolve.

She will. One way or another, she will fall back into his arms.

Astarion knows she's afflicted with the same sickness he has. Tav’s heart gallops when he draws near. Her blood sings, her breath halts. He can almost hear the way her skin calls for the icy pierce of his fangs. Smell the desire that burns deep within her to be well and truly his.

She will succumb to his song. 

She will be his consort. 

They will spend eternity in each other's arms.

Though his resolve fades quickly as his feet finally bring him before Tav’s door. Nervous energy surges through him again. It fights for dominance against the sedating alcohol coursing through his body. And for a passing moment, he feels faint. 

Astarion clears his throat and rolls his shoulders, giving a quick surveillance of his surroundings. 

No one else is within this end of the manor. It’s only them.

With some trepidation, Astarion lifts a hand, placing three soft raps against the wooden door with the back of his knuckle, the ring around his finger catching his eye. 

And he waits.

His elven ears then pick up the faint sound of shuffling from behind the door. “Is that you, Magdalena?” comes Tav’s muffled voice.

“No, it's only me, darling,” Astarion replies with as much composure as he can muster. When he hears rustling within the bedroom, he quickly adds, “Take your time. There's no rush.” 

As he awaits for her to open the door, thoughts from earlier begin to resurface. 

Should she refuse his offer still, despite all he's done… What, then? What more is there to do? Not much, he feels. 

And at that point, when all other options have been exhausted…

Well… she’d be forcing his hand, then.

Wouldn't she?

The door suddenly opens, and the sight of her makes his breath grow cold within his chest. Tav is wearing the emerald dress he'd commissioned for her and the pair of golden shoes he'd sent. Her long, auburn hair cascades down her sun-freckled shoulders in loose, wavy ringlets. But what makes Astarion’s breath cease lay across her forehead.

Her soft, sweeping bangs have transported him back to the crash site of the Nautiloid, to when they first met. And every night thereafter, when she'd inevitably slink her way over to his tent to steal a word. Or several. 

How she'd style them differently day after day. Play with them if they were to broach an uncomfortable subject. The way she'd dip her head to hide behind them in an effort to play coy.

Astarion remembers how they'd cling to her sweat-soaked brow as she called his name over and over again from below him, rendering him completely and utterly helpless to resist her. How he'd brush them to the side to rest his head directly against hers. Placed gentle kisses to the top of her brow after they finished.

“Rather bold to cut your hair the night of an event, eh?” he remarks with a chuckle.

Tav shrugs in response. “Just felt like something I needed to do.” Her expression is flat as she steps out of the doorway, ushering him in.

As he steps into the bedroom, Astarion gives her a small smile, nervous energy peaking once more. He notices the tennis necklace he sent her clutched in her hand, and he winces. “Have you found everything to your liking?” he asks, curiously.

Tav shuts the bedroom door behind them, then walks to the vanity. Her back is to him as she says, “Oh, yes, everything is absolutely beautiful.” There's a small crack in her voice. 

Something is troubling her.

Astarion sighs, anticipating the turn the conversation is taking. “I get the feeling there's a ‘but’ coming, here,” he states exasperatedly.

Tav shakes her head, now turning toward him. “No, it's not that.” She looks at her hands, running the necklace between her fingers. “I… I wanted to talk candidly about what happened in the crypts.”

“I don't understand what more of a discussion could be had,” Astarion spits, defensively. He did what she asked. What more is there to say?

Her bottom lip trembles as she pulls it between her teeth. Tav places the bracelet down on the counter and draws in a deep breath. She then lifts her head to face him.

Astarion does not like where this is going.

“When I encouraged you to show those men mercy…” her voice trails off. She's seemingly lost in thought for moment before she continues, “...you killed them.” Tav shakes her head in disbelief, eyes blinking rapidly. “You killed them, Astarion.”

He furrows his brow in question. “Were you hoping for a different outcome?”

“No,” Tav says with another shake of her head. “No, I knew that's what you'd do.” Tav meets his eyes again with an intense gaze. “But I didn't quite understand why until after.”

…Oh. 

She caught that, did she? 

He shouldn't be so surprised. Tav always pieces together everything he doesn't wish to say. It's maddening, how he can never hide from her. Though, in a way… It's comforting. To have someone see him. 

The real him.

“Do you…” her voice fades again, but she takes a deep breath and pushes forward. “Do you still feel that way?” Tav asks, voice small. “About yourself?”

Astarion draws a large breath through his nose and crosses his arms over his chest. For a moment, he doesn't speak. His mind scrambles for the appropriate words, alongside a fitting delivery. 

Once he finds it, Astarion says, “Not anymore, no. That feeling died when Cazador did.” The name feels like a shard of ice through his chest as it tumbles forward, but it's a momentary pain that fades as quickly as it comes.

An awkward silence hangs like thick fog about the air. They're still looking at one another, and Astarion notices a glossy sheen to Tav’s eyes.

“...What replaced it?” Tav asks in a voice still barely above a whisper.

He knows what replaced that feeling, but it's not something she needs to know right now.

Bitterness.

Bitterness is what replaced the feeling of hopelessness Astarion carried for two centuries. All of his anger. Spite. Unrest, for the poor card life had given him for so many years. How he screamed, and screamed, and screamed for someone, anyone to hear him. To pull him from his waking nightmare.

No one ever did.

Until her.

Tavaria was the only one who extended a hand to him. The only one who found him worth saving. Who listened to him. Gave even a sliver of a shit to see him.

And it dawns on him then that she truly did care for him. Found more worth to him beyond what his body could give her.

But it terrifies him to know that she sees everything. Astarion will never be able to hide for long, if they're together. She knows him too well–understands things about him that he doesn't quite get himself. He will never have full control of their dynamic. She will always be a step ahead of him, and he'll be dashing behind her to catch up. 

It will be a nightmare for him.

But, gods… How his heart still aches for her. Longs for her to hold him within her embrace.

“I'm not quite sure, my dear,” is Astarion's crafted reply. He speaks with ease, shifting his weight to the opposite hip. “I tend not to dwell on it much, these days.”

It's a lie, but one small enough to hopefully get her off his back. And it seems to work, at least for now. Tav grows quiet, dropping her eyes to the floor. Her hands work quickly again, fingers rubbing over one another.

Gesturing to the necklace on the vanity with a wave of his hand, Astarion says, “May I help you with that?” He outstretches a hand in her direction–an invitation for her to place the tennis necklace within his palm.

Tav blinks up at him. With a nod, she picks up the necklace and hands it to Astarion. She turns around to face the mirror, clasping her hands together over her abdomen.

He unhooks the necklace and steps behind her swiftly. Astarion gently sweeps her hair free off her shoulder, Tav reaching up to hold it out of the way for him. As her hair lifts, the smell of lavender and pine wafts about the air: two of the scents he had crafted just for her. Reminiscent of their first night together in the clearing within the forest.

Astarion's arms come up above her head, falling feather-light to lay the jewelry across her chest. He steals a glance of them both in the mirror. Light from a candle reflects off the diamond studded earrings he's given her.

And then, it suddenly hits him.

He does want this. Yearns for more. There's a twist deep within his chest as he fastens the jewelry around the column of her throat, reaching up to move her hair back in place. The backs of his hands glide smoothly against her shoulders as he drops his hands. Astarion moves his face to the softness of her hair and plants a kiss, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose. The scent of her overwhelms his senses. His head spins as he closes his eyes, finding solace in the quiet intimacy of the moment.

“...Astarion...”

He opens his eyes and finds Tav’s face again within the mirror, full with worry. With one hand she plays with the necklace, twisting it between her fingertips. “...Did you ever love me?” she asks, voice quivering.

The sound of her heart pounds in his ears. The rush of her blood is a quartet cascading toward a triumphant crescendo. It's so quick it can almost be mistaken for two distinct heartbeats as he beats against his eardrums. Astarion's heart then pounds in tandem with hers, head growing light. Heat creeps under his skin and his vision narrows.

Love.

He positively loathes the word. The feeling. The sentiment.

It makes his skin crawl. Hands claw at his neck. A knife carving deep into his back. The room grows silent and then he's slipping, far back into the recesses of his mind.

‘I write this poem of love for you, my son. For all my children.’

A high pitched scream rings loudly against the stone walls of the kennels. Godey stands watch, bones rattling as he comes forward to reinforce the shackles around Astarion's arms and legs.

Rhapsody drags across his back, slicing into delicate porcelain skin. Astarion feels rivulets of cool liquid running down his back, and when the scent of iron reaches his nose, he realizes it's his blood pouring onto the mattress below.

Cazador raises the blood-soaked blade to his face, swiping his tongue against the flat edge. He groans in satisfaction as the crimson essence fills his mouth, then sets the dagger to work once more.

Astarion screams as his flesh parts again, a new rune being carved.

‘With this, we will forever be connected,’ Cazador explains. ‘You will always be mine.’

Astarion steps back, dragging a hand across his face. He feels the ever-present demon that sleeps within threatening to surface. An overwhelming sense of dread grips him tight. “...You know how I feel about that word,” he insists, hoping desperately that she'll drop this conversation before it's too late.

Tav meets his gaze through the mirror. Astarion watches the movement of her throat as she swallows. “But did you?” She then turns her whole body to meet him directly. “Did he?”

He. Him. The man he used to be. Not the man who stands before her, now.

Astarion's lips curl into a dangerous smile, a snicker rumbling through his chest. “There it is,” he remarks with sarcasm. He raises a hand and points a single finger into the air, wagging it back and forth. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to bring him up again.” He's beginning to feel more like himself again; further from tipping over the edge.

Tav’s expression sours and she shrugs her shoulders. “Can you blame me, Astarion? At least I knew where I stood with him.” She shakes her head in disbelief. “You feel akin to a stranger, now.”

Pain grips him as her words split wide through his chest, plunging him back down the path of what seems to be an inevitable crash. “I certainly am not, my dear, ” Astarion says. His voice is even despite the storm raging within. “I haven't been for quite some time.”

Then, he sees them: the tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. 

Shit, he curses to himself. This is not what he wants–not what he needs. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, please don't cry–

“Then why do you seem so different?” Tav squeaks, trying to stave off her sobs. “Why can I no longer feel the warmth of your heart?”

Then, they fall. Hard. And the walls he's fought so hard to keep up collapse inward.

…Fuck.

Astarion can hardly stomach the thought of having hurt her, let alone see physical proof. Her makeup is ruined. Mascara runs down her cheeks. Tears cut streaks through her foundation. Tav covers her face with her hands and briskly turns away, choosing to stand near the door leading out onto the balcony.

Each choked sob from Tav sends a jolt of electric shooting across his chest. “Tavaria…” Astarion whispers. He approaches gently from behind, maintaining distance. “Come now, darling; you know that's not true. I’m right here, as I've always been.”

Control. He must regain control of this situation.

She plants her palms flat against the glass door and she sucks in a gasp. Her head hangs down between her shoulders. “You're not,” Tav argues. “This is not the man I know.” Astarion observes as she shakes her head. Turning to him, she dabs her eyes with the back of her hand. “This is not the man I fell in love with. Who loved me.”

“Tav–”

“This is a man who fears love. Operates off of obsession. Who is jealous,” she remarks angrily, voice rising. “You give me the illusion of freedom, Astarion, but this is hardly freedom.” Tav raises a hand and sweeps it across the room. “You've given me nothing but a gilded cage to fly about in!”

The sharp edge of her tongue cuts deep once more. But this time, a sudden flare of rage rises within and he rushes forward. “Do you think I would do this for anyone else?” Astarion stands face to face with her, nostrils flaring with heavy breath. “Share all of this with a common fool off the street?!”

“Then say it!” Tav roars back, entire body shaking. Tears still fall from her eyes, but Astarion can tell they're more from frustration than pain. “Fucking hells, Astarion. Just fucking say it already!”

Drawing in a breath, Astarion blinks, stepping back slightly. He's suddenly warm. Very, very warm. But a chil thenl shoots up his spine.

He… does love her. Loves this. 

Wants to hold her forever in this room, suspended in this moment for the rest of eternity. She's beautiful–so godsdamned beautiful–as she stares at him, bewildered. 

But he can't touch her. Not more than he already has. Anything more is sacrilege, tainted. He'll ruin it. Ruin her. Ruin everything.

Though… this is what she's asking of him…

Right?

And truth be told, Astarion wants to delve deeper. He longs to dig through her chest and curl alongside her heart, forever. Tav made her home so long ago within his. 

He wants her to come home–come back to him.

Astarion swallows thickly as he asks, “...What do you think we are?” He's doing his best to keep his voice even, despite feeling like his heart is in his mouth. If this is his chance to win her back, he'll take it. He'll finally show her his heart.

“Gods, Astarion; I don't know,” Tav answers, flustered. She throws her hands up. “Lovers, perhaps?”

A sharp pain grips his chest accompanied by a head rush. Astarion becomes acutely aware of just how fast his heart is beating. “And what do you want us to be?” he asks in a hushed tone.

Tav holds his gaze for a moment, then drops her focus to the floor. “Astarion…” She rests a hand over the emerald fabric of the dress, rubbing circular patterns into her stomach. “I… Gods, this is pointless,” Tav states abruptly, dashing toward the washroom door.

But as Tav passes, Astarion reaches swiftly to clasp a hand around her upper arm. The grip isn't tight enough to leave an impression, though it prevents her from continuing forward. 

“What do you want us to be, Tavaria?” Astarion reiterates, sternly. “I'm not letting go without an answer.” 

The adrenaline is setting in and his vision begins to narrow. Sound slowly fades from his ears, replaced by thunderous clashes of his heart against his ribcage. Tav lifts her face to address him. Astarion meets her gaze and his breath runs cold.

“...I want him,” Tav confesses. Her green eyes are glossy with tears threatening to spill over again, and there's a flush to her entire face. “Gods, I miss us, Astarion.”

Finally, the dam gives way again, alongside the last shreds of his resolve.

Astarion laughs haughtily, throwing his head back with a howl. She sheds tears for the sniveling coward he once was, and none for the man who stands beside her.

How silly of him to think he could bare anything to her.

“Tch,” Astarion scoffs, releasing his hold on her arm, “Of course you'd prefer the version of me that had no choice but to lay on his back should his master command it.”

Tav narrows her gaze and takes a few steps away from Astarion, wiping her tears once more with the back of a hand. “I don’t want to control you, Astarion,” she sniffles. “What have I done that proves I mean you harm?”

He then laughs again.

Enraged, Astarion surges forward. “Oh, my dear, you're guilty of the ultimate betrayal!” he chides. “You left me,” The words are gruff as they fall from his mouth, spoken through clenched teeth. He watches as Tav recoils further from him. 

“You wanted to kill me,” argues Tav with a tilt of her head. “We’ve already had his discussion, Astarion.”

Astarion scowls. “No, darling. I told you I only wished to deliver you unto undeath.” The storm begins to quell and he reaches out, holding her hands within his own. “And as I've stated before, I was only trying to give you what you wanted,” he says, voice dropping an octave.

‘Isn’t that what you want?’ Astarion recalls telling her. ‘To be mine? Forever?’

Turning her is the only way he can guarantee that they’ll be together forever. Make good on his promise to protect her. That he’ll never have to suffer the crushing loss of her.

Astarion's breath comes in quick, short pants as they exchange heated glances between the silence stretched before them.

Tav shakes her head, pulling her hands free from his grasp. “He would have never asked me to do that,” she infers. 

A heavy weight sits on Astarion’s chest and he sighs in disappointment. “You're wrong.”

He would have.

Then, and now still, he would. The moment he realized his skin smelled of her soaps more often than not is when this hunger took root. But he was too weak. Too fearful of what his attachment meant for her. 

She became all Astarion thought about: how his proximity to her made her a target, should Cazador come for him. How useless he would be without the tadpole if attacked in broad daylight. Her smile, her hair, the feeling of her pulse thrumming under his tongue while seated in his lap. He remembers how his chest ached when considering a path without her, as if his heart still beat.

Keeping her close to him, forever, is all he's ever longed for…

“He just lacked the ability to do so,” Astarion explains. “Lucky for us, he's no longer here.”

“He loved me,” Tav blurts out. “And that's more than I can say of you now.”

…but she still doesn't see it.

“Are you even capable of that now?” she asks in a contemptuous tone. “Or is this all I’ll ever get?”

“You are worth so much,” sneers Astarion. His face hovers above hers as he searches her eyes. “You’ve no idea.”

“Then tell me, Astarion.” Tav moves forward; Astarion instinctively backs away. “Tell me how much I mean to you.” His back hits the bedroom door and she pauses, leaving barely an inch of space between them. “Tell me how much you love me, Astarion. Please,” she pleads, voice breaking.

Astarion's chest heaves, and the demon creeps forward. The word is tainted, so heavily defiled. It's a strong poison that Astarion will never be able to suck out. It will leech into every part of what they have and slowly, surely, kill everything.

“I… I–” he stammers. Astarion wants to say it. It's right on the tip of his tongue, but it catches in his throat. His mind is loud, thoughts racing so quickly he can barely keep up with what they're saying. She's staring at him expectantly, and he has nothing to deliver.

He feels lost, as though his body is no longer his own. The scars on his back sting like they're freshly carved. There are shackles around his ankles and a hand around his neck. 

He's back in the kennels, oh gods he's back in the kennels, Godey maniacal laughter rings in his ears, he's trapped, he's trapped, he's trapped–

‘I do this out of love…’

Astarion can't breathe. 

He's being flayed, he's being impaled. He feels his control slipping as his thoughts become louder, shouting at him full-forced. The demon creeps forward and he can see its face. Astarion feels himself beginning to slip away. 

He can't say it. She can never know. But he has to fix this. He can fix this. How can he fix this?

…Oh.

Then suddenly, it comes to him: the urge to fuck it into her instead. 

Pick her up and whisk her onto the bed, because that's the language he knows. A language he trusts. He can thrust, and thrust and thrust until she cries his name, his praises into the night. 

Yes, everything would be better if he did just that.

He can show her how he feels. He won't have to say it. He can still stay safe, she'll never have to know. She doesn't need to know. He could just fuck her, over and over, as long as she wants. Forever, and ever, and ever–

But not right now. 

Later. 

Later he'll give himself to her, after he's had more to drink. That always makes this easier.

“The party is about to begin,” he manages to say. Astarion reaches behind himself to find the handle of the door. He clears his throat, then says, “We really should get going.”

Tav blinks, her expression falling flat. “Alright,” she says, soberly. She gazes a moment too long at him before eventually moving away to the mirror, taking a quick glance at herself. She wipes a finger under each eye, ridding herself of the smeared mascara. “Give me a few moments and I'll be right out.”

There's a soft tremor in her voice and Astarion knows she's unhappy with him, but at this moment, all he cares about is avoiding this topic. They will eventually have this discussion again–he knows it’s inevitable. Yet for now, he can breathe again.

Astarion nods, giving a quick dip of his head in acknowledgement toward Tav. He twists the handle of the bedroom door just as she enters the washroom and steps outside, the door closing behind him with a soft ‘click.’ 

A muffled sob can then be heard from the opposite end of the door, and a pang of guilt grips his chest. 

Tavaria is crying. Again. All because he couldn't say three bloody words to her.

Astarion raises a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He's said them before in jest–way before she meant anything significant to him. It isn't like he's incapable… nor would he be lying, should he say them again. 

His head throbs behind his eyes–the drink from before beginning to fade–and he digs his fingers harder into his skin.

Even if he is upset over it, Astarion knows why she left him. He doesn't even truly disagree with it, because had he been told the reality of what being a vampire spawn was like, he may have just chosen actual death itself. But he would never subject her to even a fraction of what he endured. He would make the experience so pleasant for her, so very enjoyable.

And she's here now, isn't she? She hasn't run yet, despite all she's seen. Has invited him into her bed countless times over these last few months. She's never told him to leave.

Right now, Astarion hates himself. Hates the chokehold just thinking about love has over him. She deserves to be told how he feels. To hear him say it. She isn't Cazador. No, she's quite the opposite of him, actually.

The opening of the bedroom door pulls Astarion from his thoughts, and he steps away from the doorway. Tav appears as the door swings fully open, her makeup redone and her eyes somewhat puffy, but she puts on her best smile and she steps through the threshold.

Astarion's chest aches as he looks at her face. It's all for show, and he knows it. Returning her smile, Astarion then holds a folded arm out toward Tav. She graciously accepts his offering by slipping her arm within his, and they head toward the ballroom.

They look every bit like the perfect couple as they walk through the hall, but his chest feels hollow. They reach the top of the stairs and Astarion steps down first, offering his hand to Tav. He sees the trepidation in her eyes, but eventually she smiles and accepts his offer.

And when her hand slots perfectly into his, light gleaming off the turquoise gemstone of True Love’s Caress, the knife twists so deeply within his chest that it knocks the air clean from his lungs.

He truly is a godsdamned fool.

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 8 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Lady Dimitrescu brings you in as one of her maids, at least, that's what you thought she brought you to the castle for.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, depression themes

Tags: flirty, fluff, slow burn, smut, angst.

Notes: Part 8! This kinda ends in a cliffhanger I'M SORRYYY but this shit was getting way too long😅😅 I am going to try and get chapter 9 done as soon as I can so you guys aren't waiting on it for too long!💕💕

Click here for the rest of the series

The following morning Alcina calls on one of her maids to have a carriage prepared.

"Daughters!" She calls from the foyer of the castle. Bela, Daniela and Cassandra appear in front of her.

"I have some things to take care of outside the castle. Bela, I am placing you in charge until I return."

"But mom!" Daniela cries.

"No fair she always gets to be in charge!" Cassandra argues.

"My decision is final." She says, quieting the arguments of the two girls. "Bela, please keep an eye on things, I shall be back before dinner tonight."

"Yes mother." Bela replies.

"Where are you going?" Daniela asks, looking up at her mother.

"I have a few matters I must discuss with Lady Beneviento."

"Aunt Donna!" Daniela says with excitement.

"Can we come? I want to see Angie!" Cassandra says, making Alcina chuckle.

It's always trouble when the three girls, well, Daniela and Cassandra mostly, get together with Angie.

"Not this time girls." Her response is met with a chorus of disappointment. "I must be off. Please try and behave yourselves while I'm out."

The three girls hug Alcina and she gives each of them a kiss on the top of their heads, wrapping her arms around them. Alcina exits the castle as the three girls swarm away.

You're awoken by a knock on the door, you turn towards the sound and roll back over, pretending to be asleep; desperately hoping whoever is at the door leaves. Much to your dismay, the door opens and the room fills with the smell of breakfast. The maid puts the tray on the table and you wait for her to leave. To your dismay once again, you see the maid walk around your bed, shutting your eyes before you can see who it is you pretend to stay asleep, avoiding any kind of interaction.

The maid walks over to the windows and pulls open the thick curtains, allowing the sunlight to spill into the room for the first time in nearly a week. Even with your eyes closed the light is blinding, your eyebrows knit together and you groan.

"Y/n." You hear a familiar voice.

Opening your eyes, squinting as you look up, you see Zina standing next to the bed.

"I have been very patient, but I can not watch you lay here another day. It's been almost a week."

There's a part of you that knows she's right, but there's a bigger part of you that doesn't want to move and is content with staying in bed until you die. A lump begins to form in your throat and your eyes begin to gloss over.

"I can't." You say softly.

"You can, and you will. When was the last time you showered?"

"A few days ago." Embarrassed, you avoid her gaze and stare at your pillow.

"What on earth has gotten into you? This is all very unlike you."

Pausing for a moment, you take a deep breath.

"You were right. About everything." You say as tears fall onto your pillow and your voice grows thick.

"You became too attached, didn't you?"

Nodding your head in response, Zina exhales deeply.

"Did you listen to a word I said-"

"I did," you say, cutting her off as your voice cracks. "I did, and for a while it was fine, but then I started feeling like I was special to her, and then I got scared because I didn't want to end up like the rest of them. I told Alcina how I was feeling and she told me I was special," Zina's face changes from looking like she was about to scold you to a look of curiosity. "She told me I was different from the others. And I was stupid enough to believe her. I was dumb enough to believe her lies-"

"Lady Dimitrescu is a lot of things," Zina cuts in. "but I can tell you for certain that a liar is not one of them. She is most likely the only person I've ever met that refuses to speak a single lie."

"Then why would she tell me that? Why would she say that I was special and then throw me aside like I was nothing? Why would she do everything she did for me and then act like I didn't even exist and then go and fuck another maid?!" You sob, tightly holding onto your pillow.

Realizing the situation in front of her was not what she expected it to be, Zina sits on the edge of the bed and gently stokes your hair.

"I cannot speak for the Lady and her actions, but what I can tell you is that she has not been herself this last week either. I know I said I did not want to get involved in your affairs with the Lady, which is still the truth, but I will offer you some advice."

Turning your face towards her, you look into her eyes, eager to hear her next words.

"Have you tried speaking with her?" Zina asks.

"I did, right when she started ignoring me. And she looked right through me, like I didn't exist and just walked away, like I wasn't even there."

"Did this all start after your second encounter with Stefana?"

"Yeah, and Mother Miranda."

Zina's pupils dilate, a look of concern crossing her face.

"Mother Miranda?" She quietly asks.

"Yeah, when she came to work in the lab or whatever. She found me in Alcina's bed after I got my stitches. She said she wanted to use me for a Cadou experiment and Alcina freaked out. I mean she didn't scream or anything, but her eyes, she looked terrified."

"You are very lucky to still be alive y/n." She says, visibly shaken.

"Well I told Mother Miranda that Alcina bought me from my uncle so I was her property, not just an employee. Finally she agreed to not take me to the lab but Alcina was so freaked out and I don't know why. I don't even know what a Cadou is or anything that they were talking about."

"In time you will learn, but it's not my place to explain the horrors of Mother Miranda. That was quick thinking, telling Mother Miranda about your purchase, it's probably the only reason you weren't taken into the dungeon, whether or not the Lady wanted you to go."

"After all of that, it was like I stopped existing to her. I don't know what I did." You say, defeatedly.

"As I said earlier, I won't speak on behalf of the Lady, but something tells me it's less of what you did and more of Mother Miranda's interest in you. You should try and speak with her again."

"What do I even say? 'Fuck you, you broke my heart?' that won't go over well."

"No, that certainly won't."

"What do I do? Let her tell me why she did what she did? And then what? I just magically forget about what happened and everything is sunshine and rainbows? How could I forgive her?"

"Whether or not you forgive her is something you must figure out on your own, no one can help you make that decision or make that decision for you. My advice is this: speak to her. She's out this morning and will be returning before dinner. She brought you your dinner last night, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Although I don't participate in the maidens gossip, I've heard that one young maid found her sitting outside your room in tears."

"Good." You grumble.

"Y/n." She scolds you.

"What? She does all of this awful shit to me and I'm supposed to feel bad when she cries?"

"I am not saying you aren't allowed to be angry, you are certainly entitled to every feeling you have towards her at the moment. That does not mean however, it's acceptable to lack all empathy. You can be both empathetic and angry towards her, they are not mutually exclusive feelings."

You go to retort her statement and pause, letting her words sink in before you respond.

"I guess." You say.

"Speak to her. Tell her everything you just told me, tell her how her actions made you feel. I've worked alongside the Lady for many years, it's not often she cares for maidens, but on the rare occasion she does, she listens."

"I'll think about it."

"Very well. Now, get up." She says, pulling the duvet off of you, you groan in protest. "Go on, go get a shower and for the love of the Black God please eat something. I didn't think it was possible for someone to survive on eating three bites of toast for a week."

Looking over at Zina you want to protest, but the look on her face is similar to one a mother would give their child when they won't listen. Knowing it was no use fighting her, you take a deep breath and muster the energy to finally get out of bed.

Making your way into the bathroom, you turn towards Zina before shutting the door.

"Thank you."

She gives you a nod and walks out of your room. Neither of you notice, but a little fly quickly buzzes out the door right before Zina closes it behind her.

The carriage pulls up to Lady Beneviento's estate. After she exits, Alcina is greeted by the familiar figure dressed in black, a matching black veil covering her face.

"Donna." Alcina says with a smile.

"Welcome." Donna says, although Alcina can't see her face, she can tell it was said with a smile.

Donna leads Alcina into the house and Donna's doll, Angie, runs into the foyer.

"Who the fuck let a tree in the house?!" She says with a screeching laugh.

Alcina lets out a low growl as Donna softly scolds the doll.

"Would you like some tea? I was just making myself some." Donna asks.

"Yes, that would be lovely, thank you."

Alcina takes a seat in one of the larger chairs in Donna's living room, Donna had it brought to her house for Alcina years ago so she could be comfortable when she visits.

"You better not break that chair!" Angie squeals as she runs around the house.

Alcina rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the doll.

"Angie, be nice." Donna quietly says as she walks in with a tray holding a teapot and two cups.

Donna takes a seat across from Alcina and pours tea into both cups. The teacup looks dwarfed in Alcina's large hands, making Angie cackle. After removing her veil, Donna fixes her hair and Alcina smiles at her sister.

"What brings you all the way to the estate sister?" Donna asks.

Alcina looks down into her cup. Donna was the only one of her siblings she would be able to speak to about what's been going on. Truthfully, Donna was the only person she knew that she could speak to about any of this; but Alcina never thought about how she would explain the situation without sounding weak or pathetic.

"What's wrong Alcina?" Donna asks.

"I came seeking your advice." Alcina admits.

Donna's face lights up, it's not often that Alcina asks her for her help. In the rare occasion she does, Donna is both grateful and excited to help where she can.

After taking another sip from the tiny cup in her hand Alcina puts it down and lights a cigarette and takes a drag.

"I- I'm not good at these things. I have a very, very difficult time with being, open. Talking about my feelings." She says, rolling her eyes, bringing the cigarette up to her lips once more.

"I know, take your time." Donna says with an encouraging smile.

Alcina deeply inhales and slowly blows the smoke out of her nose.

"There is," she begins, carefully choosing her words. "Someone, a woman, I've grown to," she pauses "care for." She says with an exhale. "But, I've done something unforgiveable."

"Did ya kill her?!" Angie pipes in.

With her eyes narrowing at the doll, Alcina replies "no, you detestable plaything, I did not kill her."

"Well sorry for asking!" Angie says sarcastically. "You literally drink blood wine, I'm sorry if my question pissed you off you-"

"Angie that is enough." Donna snaps.

Alcina glares at the doll as she runs away before looking back towards Donna, taking another drag from the cigarette.

"Please, Alcina, continue." Donna says softly.

"I, I don't know how to fix it. Donna, I don't know what to do." Alcina says as her eyes gloss over, she snuffs out the cigarette in the ashtray on the table. Another thing Donna keeps around for Alcina when she visits.

Donna can count on one hand the amount of times she's seen Alcina cry in all of the years she's known her. Her heart melts a little as her older sister lets some of her walls down.

"I would love you help you Alci, but I need to know what happened."

Alcina gives Donna a brief overview of how you ended up at the castle, how you quickly became her handmaiden, she tells Donna about Stefana and how she's tried to kill you twice now, and tells her that Mother Miranda was infatuated with you.

"After Mother came I was terrified, Donna. It's the most terrified I've been since that clumsy maid broke the window in the library and almost killed Daniela all of those winters ago." Donna nods her head, remembering when Alcina told her about the incident. It made her want to vomit when Alcina described in great detail how she tortured the woman before sticking her in a wine barrel.

"So I abandoned her. I acted like she didn't exist. My plan was successful for the first few days, but then, she was all I could think about. There was nothing I could do to get her out of my head, I it was driving me absolutely mad. I was angry, unsatisfied, really." Donna nods her head as she follows along while Alcina pulls out another cigarette and lights it, taking a long drag, exhaling the smoke as she speaks. "I couldn't bring her to my chambers, Black God no, so I invited one of my newer maids in. I was satisfied enough but I still only thought of her." She pauses and take another drag, slowly exhaling the plume of smoke, reliving the moment. "When I opened my chamber door to let the maid out, there she was, walking back to her room. And the look on her face when she saw," Alcina looks up, blinking away tears. "The look on her face, Donna, it almost broke me."

A few tears roll down Alcina's cheeks, Donna hands her a handkerchief and she puts out her cigarette, carefully blotting the tears as she pulls herself together. She adjusts her posture, sitting up straight once more, reclaiming her poise.

"I thought maybe it would take a few days for her to move past it, but after that, she stopped showing up to meals, she hasn't gotten out of bed in almost a week-"

Angie runs into the room and sees Alcina wipe away a stray tear.

"Holy shit! You cry?! Who knew there was a heart under all of that cold, icy-"

"I will snap you in half you little twig!" Alcina roars, standing up to her full height, rage beginning to blind her.

"Alcina!" Donna yells.

Alcina looks at Donna and recognizes the look of fear in her eyes. Looking down, Alcina didn't even realize her claws have come out. The only time Donna had seen Alcina's claws in action was during a brutal attack when huntsmen stormed the castle while she was visiting. It took Donna weeks to be able to cope with what she saw. Staring at her claws in shock, Alcina retracts them and looks at her sister.

"Donna- I'm-" she goes to reach for her sister but pulls away and puts her face in her hands. The elegance that radiated off of her moments ago completely vanished. "I'm sorry." She says softly, sitting back down as she tries to hold back her cries.

Donna stands up and looks at Angie, pointing out of the room, silently telling her to leave. Walking up to Alcina she wraps her arms around her the best she can.

"It's okay." Donna softly says. "I know it was an accident."

"Oh Donna," Alcina cries. "what do I do? Gods if I were her I'd never speak to me again."

"This may sound silly, but, have you tried talking to her?" Donna asks.

Trying to gather herself once more, Alcina wipes her tears and lights another cigarette, taking a long drag from it. Her tone is stoic yet her voice shakes as she speaks.

"I brought dinner up to her chambers last night and she didn't even look at me. Her back was turned but I knew she was awake, I heard her heartbeat race as soon as I entered. I wanted to say something, to do something, but I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do. So I left, without saying a single word. Right before I shut the door I heard her sobs and it shattered my heart," She brings the cigarette to her lips and deeply inhales and releases the smoke from the corner of her mouth. "I just sat on the floor, in the middle of the corridor and cried."

"You should talk to her."

Alcina looks away as she blots away the tears once more, desperately trying to steady her trembling lip by bringing the cigarette to them.

"Sister, I mean this in the most loving way possible, but if you truly care for this girl, you will put your pride aside and apologize to her. Even if she doesn't forgive you, it's something you must do."

"I have been incredibly selfish." She says in defeat, taking another drag from the cigarette before crushing it into the ashtray.

"Yes, it certainly seems that way."

Alcina removes her hat and rakes her hands through her hair.

"What would say? 'I apologize for throwing you away like you meant nothing but really you mean everything to me please forgive me?' If someone said that to me after doing what I did to her I would laugh in their face."

"You and I both know you would do more than laugh in their face." Donna says, giving Alcina a knowing look. Alcina lets out a light chuckle. "Tell her why you did what you did, your reasonings behind them. Not to justify your actions, but so at least she understands why."

"What if she doesn't forgive me?" Alcina says quietly.

"Would you forgive you?" Donna asks.

"No, I don't think I could."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes." Alcina whispers as tears roll down her cheeks.

"Then you must try to speak with her, you won't know what will happen for sure until you do."

Alcina shakes her head.

"What am I going to do if Mother decides to use her to punish me? If she tries to hurt her, just to teach me a lesson?"

"Then my dear sister, you have a difficult choice to make. You either protect the one you love and stand up against Mother, or, you be the obedient daughter and let Mother do as she pleases. There will come a time where you will not be able to do both."

Looking into her sisters eyes, Alcina smiles.

"Thank you, Donna."

"Of course Alcina, you can always speak to me, about anything."

Alcina smiles and grabs her sisters hand, gently squeezing it.

"Come, lets take a stroll through the gardens, they're especially lovely this time of year." Donna says, standing up.

Daniela and Cassandra run to Bela's room and bang loudly on the door.

"WHAT?" Bela yells from the other side.

"Bela open up!! It's important!" Cassandra says.

Bela opens her door to see her sisters standing in front of her.

"What? What happened?" She asks, worried.

The two girls push their way into Bela's room and close the door.

"Hey! Get out!" Bela says, trying to push the girls back.

"We figured out why mom has been so weird and why y/n hasn't left her room!" Cassandra says.

"Wait, really?" Bela asks, surprised. "Wait a minute, how? Do I even want to know?"

"A little fly told us." Daniela says, giggling at Cassandra.

"Did you spy on them?!" Bela says.

"No, well, not on mom, gods no. She would know immediately, and she would kill us. But a little fly may have overheard y/n talking to Zina." Daniela says.

Bela crosses her arms, disapproving of her sisters antics.

"Well do you want to know or not?!" Cassandra says, annoyed.

"It's some real juicy stuff!" Daniela says.

Bela rolls her eyes.

"Well, I guess what's done is done. What did they say?"

Daniela and Cassandra recall the conversation Daniela's fly overhead, how you thinking you were special to their mother was just you falling into her usual trap and how their mother said that she was in fact special. They talk about what happened with Mother Miranda after they left their mother's chambers and how their mother completely ignored your existence. They also tell Bela that the night she didn't walk you to your room was when you saw another maiden leave their mother's chambers and that's why you've been locked in your room for the last week.

"Wait, so, mother-"

"She cheated on y/n and broke her heart!" Daniela exclaims.

Cassandra elbows her hard in the side

"Ow!"

"Shut your trap Dani, we can't let anyone hear us!"

"Mother has to feel guilty, I mean, how could she hurt y/n and be okay with it?" Bela says with disbelief on her face.

"Because mom can be a huge bitch." Cassandra says, folding her arms.

"Cassandra!" Bela scolds her. "Don't talk about our mother like that!"

Daniela turns to Bela.

"Bela, she hurt y/n, she loved mom and mom went and cheated on her."

"There has to be an explanation for this, I need to hear mother's side! It's unfair to judge based off of only one side!" Bela says, defending her mother.

"Bela you're such a suck up." Cassandra snaps.

"I am not! Plus Cass you're the one who said they weren't 'really together anyway' a few days ago! What happened to that?!"

"That was before I knew they were in love you idiot!"

"I still want to hear mother's side of the story."

"Mother would never talk to us about that, she's far too private." Cassandra says.

"Then what are we going to do?" Daniela asks.

"We have to get them in the same room somehow." Bela says, deep in thought.

"Oh! That's a good idea!"

"What good would that do? They're just gonna fight, or say nothing to each other." Cassandra says.

"They've avoided each other for so long, they need to talk." Bela says.

"Oh! Why don't we trick them into going into the same room?" Daniela suggests.

"That's actually not a bad idea." Cassandra says.

"How are we gonna do that though?" Daniela asks.

"I think I have an idea!" Bela says.

As you're walking back to your room from the kitchen with Zina, a lunch tray in your hands, you spot Daniela down the hall.

"You're alive!!!" She yells as she runs up to you and wraps her arms around you.

"Yes, I am very much alive." You say, trying to hug her back and balance the tray. "I'm sorry for how awful I was to you kiddo, you didn't deserve it."

"It's okay, I would have acted the same way if that happened to me too." She says, her eyes going wide as you look at her confused. "I mean, you know, if I really wanted to be left alone like you did."

Her choice of words confuses you a little but you don't think too much into as Zina gives Daniela a knowing look.

"Well, anyway, I gotta run." She says, avoiding Zina's look. "But y/n, I have a surprise for you later, now that you've finally come out of your room!"

"Okay," you say with a laugh. "Come get me when you need me."

Daniela swarms off and Zina shakes her head.

"Those girls are always up to something."

"They certainly are."

The girls are gathered in the library going over their plan when they hear the doors open, the familiar sound of their mothers footsteps echoing through the castle.

"Mom's home!" Bela says.

"Okay, Dani, go take care of y/n, we'll take care of mom."

The girls go their separate ways, Daniela making her way upstairs through the back halls and Bela and Cassandra going to greet their mother in the foyer.

"Mom!" Bela says.

"Good afternoon girls," Alcina says, immediately realizing Daniela is missing. "Where is Daniela?"

"Probably doing something stupid." Cassandra says.

Alcina laughs and pulls the girls into a hug.

You're about to leave your room and you hear a knock on the door, you see Daniela standing there when you open it.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Surprise time!"

"Can we do it in a few minutes, I was just about to-"

"NO!" Daniela says, trying to collect herself. "Nope, sorry, can't do, we gotta do it now."

"Okay..?" You say, having no idea what she's about to do.

Daniela pulls out a blindfold.

"Here! Put this on!"

"Do I really need a-"

"Yes! Yes you do! Now come on!" She says, pulling it over your eyes.

"Alright, alright. Now what?" You say as you position it over your eyes.

"Can you see anything?" Daniela asks, waving her hand in front of your face.

"Nope, just black."

"Good."

Daniela grabs you by the arm and pushes you to sit on your bed.

"Okay, now wait here for a minute."

"Okay-"

"And no talking!" She says.

You chuckle and Daniela shushes you.

Downstairs, Bela and Cassandra look up at their mother after she lets go of them. Alcina notices a mischievous look on their faces and raises an eyebrow at them.

"What are you girls up to?"

"We have a surprise for you!" Bela says.

"Oh, you do?" Alcina says as she gives them a look.

"Yup, you gotta put this on though." Cassandra says, pulling out a blindfold big enough for Alcina.

"Girls, is this really necessary?"

"Yes!" Cassandra says.

"Please mom?" Bela says, looking up at her mother.

Rolling her eyes, Alcina hands her hat to Bela and takes the blindfold and ties it around her head. She motions for her hat and places is back on her head.

"Now what?" She asks.

The girls each grab one of her hands and begin to lead her up the stairs.

"We're going upstairs?" Alcina says.

"Yes!"

"We'll tell you when to duck!" Cassandra says.

"Thanks." Alcina says, unamused but with a smirk on her face.

"And no more talking!" Cassandra says, Alcina grumbling in response.

Since Alcina knows the castle like the back of her hand, the girls walk their mother around for a minute before finally reaching your chambers; hoping she doesn't know where they're taking her.

The three of them stand outside the open door and Daniela gives them a thumbs up, Bela puts her mothers hand on the doorframe so she knows to duck and gently pushes her into the room.

You hear footsteps approach as you sit blindfolded on the bed, your room is suddenly filled with the scent of Alcina's perfume and you stiffen, your muscles in your body tensing.

Alcina ducks into the room and takes a few steps, Daniela sneaks around her and stands with her sisters outside of the door. She recognizes the familiar drum of your heartbeat and her posture stiffens, slowly turning towards the sound. The girls nod to each other and Daniela grabs the door handle.

"Okay, take them off!" Cassandra says as they quickly close the door and run away.

The two of you slowly remove the blindfolds, your eyes meet for the first time as they adjust to the light. You look into her eyes, desperately wanting to move your gaze, but you can't, your eyes are stuck staring into hers like magnets.

Alcina is the first to break eye contact when she closes her eyes and gently shakes her head. Her eyes meet yours once more, you try to gauge her inscrutable look but you're met with a stone wall. You feel your heart leap into your throat while you simultaneously feel a lump forming over your vocal chords. Alcina opens her mouth to speak but quickly closes her mouth and looks away. You try and speak but no words leave your lips. She takes one final look at you and turns to leave.

Watching her walk towards the door you feel your heart shatter again, but you also feel anger, frustration. As she reaches for the doorknob you break through the lump restraining your vocal chords and speak.

"So that's it? You're not going to even say anything to me?" Your voice cracks.

"Would it make a difference?" She says, her voice is cold but you notice a slight shake to it.

Looking down at your hands in your lap you quietly say "I don't know."

After a second you look up and see her standing in place, her hand resting on the doorknob. Your eyes focus on her hand, anticipating her wrist to turn and for her to open the door to leave.

An internal war rages on inside Alcina; she can almost taste the release of walking out of the room, but her heart is screaming at her to stay. Donna's voice pops into her head.

"if you truly care for this girl, you will put your pride aside and apologize to her."

With a shaking breath, she drops her hand from the doorknob and hangs her head.

[lunarwritesthings]

☆— The Unfortunate Move —☆

Paring: Edge x Gn!Reader

Fandom: Wwe

Request: No

Summary: When a move in the match goes wrong, but no one realizes until you haven't moved since being pinned. What happens when your tag team partner and friend realizes and drops everything for you?

A/N: This doesn't exactly take place in a certain year, besides being after Edge got his neck injury.....I also may have left the ending open incase people want a second part. 👀

Life can change all too quickly, one minute you can be in the match of your career the next minute you can be unmoving on the matt. Then next thing you know your waking up in the hospital with a broken neck. However let's start for the beginning.

The title at stake, the crowd at their feet, and the moment to take home the crown. The sign you've made it to the top. It's one of the most important matches in a wrestler's career.

The match was going well, I had the upper hand and I was so close to winning. My tag team partner and good friend Edge was standing ringside, watching in a mix of awe and excitement. He had been helping keep control, by cheating a little...hey we're heels! Cheating is one of many ways we win.

Out of nowhere it all went wrong and the match was falling apart. After a mis-step by my unlucky opponent, I was thrown off balance and landed awkwardly on my neck. A collective gasp could be heard from the fans at the sight of my landing.

The world looked fuzzy to me, I was trying to process what happened. Once I started to piece together what happened, I started to freak out. I couldn't move, my body felt like it was made out of bricks.

It's hard to focus on the sounds around me, however i could faintly made out someone's theme music then Edge talking but I couldn't understand what he was saying.

The fan watched in horror as they realized something wasn't right. I failed to move from where I had been pinned. I was going in and out of consciousness. The silence from the fans finally got to Edge. He looked around until his eyes landed on me. The mic he was holding was thrown to the side.

After a few seconds, my vision cleared up a little bit. I could now make out a face of someone a few inche away from mine. At first, I thought it was just an illusion. But then I looked at Edge.

He had a confused and concerned look on his face. His eyes were wide open, and his eyebrows were raised slightly. “Are you alright?” His voice was gentle yet full of concern. As the adrenaline faden from my body the real pain from my neck finally hit.

It was becoming more difficult to think straight, and my vision was becoming blurry. My breathing was becoming more shallow, and it felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

I could tell that Edge was looking at me with genuine concern, and my head started to feel like it was spinning. The pain from my injury was almost too much to handle. Before I knew it my vision had gone black.

As I slowly come to, realizing that I'm in a hospital bed. my vision is still blurry, but I can see Edge sitting beside me, a small smile on his face. He looks relieved to see that I've woken up.

"Thank god you're awake," Edge says softly. I tried to speak, but my throat is still extremely sore and dry from my injury, making it difficult to talk. Edge leans in closer, his voice full of concern, "How are you feeling?"

I try to sit up, but Edge gently pushes me back down. "Take it easy," he says. "You've been through a lot." I notice that he's still smiling, but I can tell there's more he wants to say.

"I need to explain what happened," Edge continues. He looks over at me, his eyes filled with concern once more. This couldn't be good. Edge takes a deep breath and looks back at you, his eyes still full of concern.

"Your injury is similar to the one I got." he says. I remember that incidents, and the matches that sent Edge into the hospital after suffering a broken neck.

"It's a serious injury, and it needs to be treated carefully," Edge continues. "I need to make sure you're ok. I'm not leaving your side until I absolutely have too." I was heartbroken. Just as I was about to reach the top, my career is over. My dream was shattered.

Edge stares at me, his eyes full of understanding and sympathy. "I know this is hard, but it's important that we take good care of this injury. We can't rush this process. There will be ups and downs, but we'll get through this together."

Edge offers a comforting smile, and I find myself smiling back. The atmosphere is becoming lighter and more optimistic.

Me and Edge continue to have a discussion about my injury and how to properly manage it. Edge encourages me to rest and take it easy, and I nod in agreement. As I'm talking, Edge's face softens and he smiles gently.

"We'll get through this," Edge reassures me. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere." I smile back, feeling more and more reassured by Edge's presence.

Maybe my future hold a return to the ring, but for now I'll focus on healing and having Edge by my side to help.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

ATLA

all my skeletons out for the taking by 136108

Azula wins the Agni Kai, and the playing field shifts.

The Owl House

Grom Knight by ObabScribbler

Belos is dead. The Collector is defeated. The portal door is working again and everyone now just has to move on with their lives and rebuild normality as best they can. This is easier for some than for others.

When Willow invites Hunter to Grom, he assumes it is so that he, as a non-student of Hexside, can still be there to help Skara in her duties as Grom Queen. Emerald Entrails stick together, after all. Clearly there could be no other reason for Willow to invite him. This is all set to be a simple, friendly combined dance and fight with a demonic entity that reads minds and conjures your worst fears into reality. No biggie.

Except with Boscha and her crew of bullies around and feeling braver than ever, this Grom might not be as simple as they all hoped. Especially when Hunter discovers that being the reincarnated container of hundreds of years of Golden Guards' fears is a bad thing to be around a fear demon.

Clone Wars

and through the spaces of the dark by blackkat (+ podfic)

Jon's attempts to avoid a war he wants no part in are ended when Dark Woman drags him to Coruscant and straight to a posting with the Guard. He intends to keep his head down and do his work, but the mysteries around the Guard - and Fox - immediately have him in out of his depth and on uncertain ground.

Nine Worlds / The Lays of the Hearth Series

Friday Keeps Coming Next by rattyjol

Cliopher's first morning with the Sun-on-Earth was everything he could have dreamed of, until it wasn’t.

or: Cliopher and his Radiancy break time. Again.

soon, they said, if not today by Ariaste

Cliopher passes the Imperial exams on the first try.

It changes everything.

one for sorrow, two for joy by Ariaste

The Emperors of Astandalas did not have daemons.

Cliopher knew this could not, technically, be true. Thinking this thought, even in the quietest whisper in his deepest heart of hearts, was undeniably treason, but…. facts were facts: The Emperors of Astandalas, though worshipped as gods on earth, were each of them born a human being before they were apotheosized by the crown and by law and custom. Every human being had a soul; therefore, every human being had a daemon.

So the Emperors of Astandalas must have had daemons.

But by tradition and ritual and magic and taboo: The Emperors of Astandalas did not have daemons.

you laugh and you gleam with that roguish air by lindsayraindrops

Notorious rebel-poet Fitzroy Angursell is captured and brought to the Palace of Stars. Cliopher... copes.

(A reunion.)

with a winged heart by celebros

"Cliopher. Cliopher. Cliopher."

I blink. It's Conju, standing with his hands on my shoulders, and I go to answer him and realize that I am already speaking, babbling, and Franzel is behind him, wringing his hands and looking near tears. I try to focus on what I'm saying, but it's like a stream, light and splashing past me, too quick to hold, not enough to catch, somehow, somehow –

(A few weeks before the start of the viceroyship ceremonies, Kip finds himself the unwitting recipient of a truth serum)

The Virtue of Being True by electropeach

"You're under an enchantment, Cliopher. The good news is that the protections his Radiancy has placed on you have shielded you; the bad news is that the protections that block the spell are also reflecting it, meaning that instead of you it affects everyone who comes near you. You may have noticed an unusual propensity for candor in your vicinity today?"

A reverse truth serum plot leads to Cliopher having a very strange day.

even a cat may look at a king. by mage-pie (looselipssinksubs) (Note: This fic is marked as abandoned, but it has some really great scenes that it's still worth a read imo)

"Hello, hello, hello!” said his Radiancy’s serval. She said it, in words, in Shaian, in a pleasant voice that came from her little snout quite naturally. “Good morning!” “Good…morning…?” said Cliopher, too shocked to control his voice. His mongoose got out of his bag and scrambled up onto his shoulder with an excited little squeak, her claws prickling through the tunic. “I have good news and bad news!” the serval continued happily. “Don’t you want to know what it is?” Cliopher could only stare. “Good news, I’ve figured out how to talk!” She lashed her tail excitedly, and finished with her voice full of enormous glee, “Bad news… I’ve figured out how to talk.”

The entire city of Solaara wakes up one day attached to magical animals that display each person’s innermost self with no regard for court protocol or even basic manners. It’s pure chaos… and that’s before the Emperor accidentally gives the soul-animals the power of speech.

[meggiejolly]

A Relationship of Full Moons (Wolfstar)

Word Count: 2969 Tags: Sirius Balck/Remus Lupin, post Sirius in Azkaban, second wizarding war, lie low at Lupin's Summary: After Azkaban Sirius is staying with Remus and tries to get back to some semblance of normal with their friendship and how they handle the full moons together. Sirius' plans for the 20th anniversary of the Marauders becoming Animagi finally make the two of them talk about some things. ~ "Moony, come on. It's been 20 years! Can you believe it? We have to celebrate!" Sirius leaned over the back of the chair Remus was sitting in. He was so close to Remus' face, that the steam from the fresh cup of tea in Remus' hand tickled his nose. Remus sighed and turned his head slightly, bringing his lip dangerously close to Sirius'. "We can. I'll get us some Firewhiskey and Butterbeer and we can reminisce about old times all night. I'm sure we'll find an old Gryffindor scarf somewhere." Notes: This fic was written for a writing challenge from my favourite ever discord server. The prompt was "forest" and my original idea for the fic was very different than what I ended up writing, but the characters just went another way and it didn't feel right to force my original plan in. It's less forest themed than originally intended, but I like what I ended up with.

After Sirius came back from Azkaban and was told "to lie low at Lupin's" it had taken months until Remus had let Padfoot anywhere near the wolf during the full moon. 

At first Remus would leave to transform somewhere else without even telling Sirius where he went. Eventually he made use of the cellar beneath the tiny cottage they both lived in, but he still wouldn’t let Padfoot keep him company. 

Sirius could hear the wolf howl and scream all night and it drove him crazy. 

Eventually, when Remus had gotten his hands on some Wolfsbane potion again, he reluctantly allowed Padfoot to be with him in the cellar. 

Being down there, locked in, was too much like being back in his cell in Azkaban for Sirius liking, but being able to help Remus, to be close to him again, to feel like some things could go back to the way they were before, made up for it. 

Padfoot and the wolf spend all night curled up together in a way that Sirius and Remus couldn’t do as humans. There was too much left unsaid between them, too many years, too much pain.

A couple of months later, Remus couldn’t get Wolfsbane potion in time and Sirius was afraid he would bar him from the cellar again. He didn’t dare bring it up, but when the full moon came and Remus went down to the cellar, he didn’t stop Sirius from following him. He even held open the door invitingly. 

That night was harder and they both ended up with a few scratches to show for it the next morning. Sirius didn't care, it was another step back to their old self, it felt familiar, the patching each other up the next morning, the sleepiness the next day. It also made him miss James and Peter even more than usual, but he could take that if it took away a little of the strain between him and Remus. 

They continued like that, spending full moons together in the cellar, sometimes with Wolfsbane, sometimes without. Slowly their relationship began to get back to something almost resembling their friendship from before. Sirius knew it would never be the same, they were irrevocably changed and broken, but maybe together they could mend some cracks. 

Continue on AO3

[terrifyingly-bi]

Fool for You (Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader) (Part 1)

Summary: You've never been one to be pushed around. When you work at Hawkin's Public Pool during summer break you're paired up with Billy for your shifts, and Billy just met his match.

Warnings/tags: flirty reader, confident reader, billy starts out as rough and tough but I've got a thing for softies so... we'll get there

Wordcount: ~2,2k

A/N: You wanted some Billy x Fem!Reader and I once again got carried away. Idk how many parts this will be... I'm sitting on about four or five... uh... :)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

『••✎••』

“And this is where you’ll be spending most of your time,” Adam said, gesturing to the small booth. “We’ve got at least two lifeguards out by the pools at all times, if one of them needs to step away, you will take over for them until they return. Otherwise, this is your hub.”

You nodded as you took a look around the tiny room. It reminded you of a ticket booth but pool-themed. On the only wall available hung a calendar with pictures of the beach, as well as a schedule for the lifeguards. There were seven in total, including you.

“Cool,” you said. “And do I need to keep my eyes out for anything in particular or…”

Adam shrugged. “Not really. You’ll be standing by most of the time. If any visitors have any questions or need equipment, directions, or help you’ll be in charge of taking care of them.” He pointed to the notepad on the tiny desk. “Any pool equipment or swimming aids you lend out must be recorded, so that we can keep track of them when they’re lent out and returned.”

“Write up the things I hand out and what I get back, got it,” you said. “Anything else?”

“First Aid Kit is in the box under the desk and there’s a phone in the office with a phonebook right next to it. Other than that, you should be all set.”

You doubted that, but you weren’t about to start fussing on your first day. “So do I just… go change or what?”

Adam turned and pointed over to the changing rooms. “You can just use the women’s to change. Head back here once you’re done and I’ll introduce you to your shift mate.”

With a nod, you began making your way around the pool to go and change. The brilliantly red swimsuit you’d been given to wear bore the Hawkins Pool logo, and you wondered if you’d look as good in it as some of the lifeguards you’d seen so far. 

The changing room was mostly empty with the exception of a handful of girls gossiping and queuing for the mirror and a mother trying to wrestle her kid into a swimsuit. It smelled like chlorine, soap and sun lotion, and by the time you had squeezed into your new suit and made to leave you were alone.

You hesitated briefly when you passed the mirror. The Hawkins Pool suit fitted decently. It could have been a little bigger in the bottom area but you were confident enough that you would endure it. From the right angle, it even looked good.

When you returned to the booth, Adam had called another lifeguard over. 

“You’re back, good,” Adam said. “This is Billy, and you already know me. Billy, this is Y/N.” 

‘Billy’ was tall, muscular, and looked like a Californian dream. He stood with his arms crossed over his broad chest and looked you up and down, wearing a pair of dark aviators and a somewhat disdainful look on his face. “Yes, we’re happy to have you here,” he mumbled. “But unless there’s anything you specifically need me for, I’ve got things to do.”

You shook your head. “You do what you need to do,” you said. “You’re a lifeguard after all.”

The sneer on his face turned neutral and he gave you a quick nod before he turned and headed back to the tower, climbing up and taking a seat.

“He takes his job very seriously,” Adam said, leaning closer to you. “Don’t let him push you around. He is not your boss.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you said. “I’m not going to let him.”

-

It didn’t take you long to learn that whenever Billy was at the pool, things were running like a well-oiled machine. It was mind-boggling to see how kids you knew from school turned into law-abiding visitors the moment Billy told them off, and it was difficult to miss the way people were particularly wary when they walked in his vicinity. 

If you had to pick something to complain about it would be the number of girls coming up to you only to try and get a peek at the schedule on the wall behind you. Billy was popular with the ladies, and it was hardly a secret. Even the mothers put on a show for him whenever he looked their way.

You didn’t see the point. Obviously, he was handsome and you caught yourself looking longer than a few seconds a handful of times, but he was rude and never said hello when he passed you by. It wasn’t like you were going to waste your time on someone that couldn’t bother to say hi.

At least, that’s what you thought until a particularly unrelenting heatwave passed through Hawkins. The pool was filled to the brim with people trying to cool off and you spent a considerable amount of time handing out water bottles and helping out a few people that had burned themselves in the sun.

But while you spent most of the day in the shade of the tiny booth, you couldn’t help but notice that Billy sat dutifully perched in the lifeguard tower, glaring out over the pool and the visitors - on the lookout for trouble. 

With a sigh, you grabbed one of the water bottles you kept in the cooler crammed under the desk, and headed over. “Hey, Hargrove,” you called when you approached.

He looked over at you just in time to catch the bottle when you tossed it to him. “What’s up?” He asked.

“You haven’t had anything to drink all day,” you said. “I would prefer it if you didn’t fall off that tower when something happens.”

Billy looked at you for a moment before he looked back to the pool. “Thanks,” he said, unscrewing the cap and taking a drink of water. You could tell by the way he went through half the bottle in a few greedy sips that he must have been thirsty.

“You gonna take a break any time soon?” You asked. “Maybe get out of the sun?”

“To slack off? Is that what you’re trying to get me to do?” he asked without looking at you.

You rolled your eyes. “No, I’m trying to make sure you don’t get a heatstroke so you can keep doing your job.”

Again, Billy turned and looked at you. For a moment, he seemed to be contemplating your words. “Five minutes,” he said. “I need to take a leak anyway.” He tossed the bottle back to you as he began climbing down from the tower. “You figure you can hold the reins until I get back?”

“Don’t worry about me, Billy,” you said and handed him his drink. “I can hold them just fine.” You turned and climbed up into the tower, seating yourself in the surprisingly comfortable seat. When you looked down, Billy was still looking at you. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

“I just might,” he said, a lazy smirk playing on his lips before he turned and walked away.

-

"Got ourselves a cut." 

You looked up from the notepad as Billy appeared in the doorway, holding a girl in his arms. Looking between them, it was almost comical how indifferent Billy looked while the girl was making heart eyes at him. But upon closer inspection, she did have a pretty nasty cut on her foot. 

"Damn, let me get the kit," you said and got up. "She can take my chair."

Billy put the girl down on the chair with minimal effort. "What did you say you cut yourself on?" he asked. 

"I'm not sure. I stepped on something sharp over by the fence, I was just grabbing my bag," she said. She blinked at him, her lashes fluttering as he inspected her injury. 

"Over by the fence?" Billy asked. He either didn’t notice or care for her ogling. Instead, he looked over at you. "Hey, Y/N. Can you treat this while I go and have a look?" he asked. 

You could tell that anyone but Billy treating the girl's cut would ruin her day. The way she deflated made you feel bad for her. "Uh… why don't you help her out and I go and take a look? I need to double-check on the back gates anyway," you offered. It was technically true, only that you usually did that at the end of your shift. "I need to go and get another pack of gauze from the office as well, but we should have enough for now." 

Billy looked skeptical as you handed the First Aid kit to him. "You sure?" 

"Yeah. Put those pretty hands to use and I'll be right back," you said and winked as you slipped out of the booth, leaving him with the eager visitor. 

It was almost the weekend and you figured you could give that girl something to swoon about. It was a surefire way to keep the girl - and all of her friends - coming back. 

The area by the fence was mostly covered with dry grass. Some people preferred to leave their things there or spread a towel out where they could enjoy the sunshine. You started by the concrete and followed the fence around the perimeter, and just like the girl had said, you found the culprit of the cut; a piece of aluminum from a soda can. After looking around you found the rest of the cam and discarded it in the nearest trash can. 

You took your time as you went back, stopping to help a kid that struggled with a pair of goggles, and walking a full lap around the pool before you went about your other tasks.

By the time you returned to the booth - after having made a quick trip to the office for supplies - Billy had sent the girl on her way and returned to his spot atop the tower. You gave a slight wave as he looked your way, making sure he knew that you were back where you were supposed to be. 

He nodded at you from where he sat before he returned to his lifeguarding duties. 

The rest of the day was dull and uneventful. At the end of your shift, you counted the swimming aids, checked the lost and found, and walked around the pool to make sure everything was in order before you went to change. 

You were usually one of the last people out of there - with the exception of the pool manager and sometimes Adam - but when you exited the changing room that night, you spotted Billy on his way out to the parking lot. He looked your way when you adjusted your bag on your shoulder. 

"Heading home?" he asked. 

"That's what I usually do after work," you said. 

"Need a ride?" 

That was an offer you hadn't expected. While you got along well enough, you would hardly call the two of you friends. But you appreciated the fact that he'd offered and that he made an effort to be nice. 

"Sure," you replied with an easy smile. "What's the occasion?" 

Billy snorted when he walked you to his car. "I can't be nice just for the hell of it?" He unlocked the car and gestured for you to get in. 

You chuckled and got into the passenger's seat. "We both know you're not nice. Either you think you owe me a favor, or you're trying to impress me." 

"Maybe so," Billy said as he slid into the driver's seat, closing the door with a huff. 

You caught a glimpse of his bulging bicep when he pulled the door closed. It was a pleasant sight and you had since long given up on trying not to ogle. "So which is it?" you asked. 

The car roared to life when he turned the key in the ignition. Stepping on the gas, he revved the engine, it purred pleasantly. He took his aviators off and put them in the pocket of his shirt before he turned and smiled at you. "Guess." 

"Smooth," you said. There was no denying that part of you was very impressed.

Billy gave a light chuckle as he shifted gear and pulled out onto the street. "Where did you live, again?" he asked. 

"I don't think I ever told you," you pointed out. 

"Bit hard to drive you home if I don't know where you live, don't you think?" He glanced over at you but you stubbornly looked ahead, wanting to keep him guessing. "You gonna tell me? Or should I just take you home to mine?" 

As tempting as that sounded, you were eager to go home and shower. "Coming on a little strong, aren't you, Hargrove?" 

"Suit yourself. I don't offer that to all the girls I meet," he said and clicked his tongue. 

"You'd better not," you said and looked over at him. 

He laughed at that. An actual full laugh that had his shoulders bouncing and his eyes squinting. "You're something, Y/L/N." 

Grinning, you turned to look through the windshield. "Just get me home," you said with a smirk.

『••✎••』

Taglist: @manyfandomsfanvergent

[judgementdaysunshine]

The next one is Jimmy Uso (That man is fuckingggggggggg fine he needs to be behind bars immediately lol) you can write whatever for him

Yep and yes!

New tag team

Pairing: Jimmy Uso x Fem reader

Description: You and Jimmy are dating, after suddenly becoming a tag team the two of you share a moment in the ring after a win

You jump in the ring while staring down Zelina Vega who had been causing many problems for you these past few weeks. "You wanted me here so whatcha gotta say?" you carefully look around in between staring at her as she speaks. "I said one on one match, well I changed my mind" you immediately get ready to fight when you see Angel Garza jump in the ring, you dodge out of the way when they charge you but you get grabbed by angel and as he is tying you in the ropes a familiar theme song buzzes through the stadium smiling when you look up to see Jimmy next to you after freeing you from the ropes before putting a plan into motion "Let's see what Jimmy Uso and Y/N Y/L have and-OH MY GOD DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP" the two of you take turns going back and forth between fighting with zelina and angel until you both pulled off the most amazing tag team move ever seen. "Double super kick to Angel Garza! Uh oh Zelina Vega all alone and SPEAR DOUBLE SPEAR!" you pin zelina as jimmy keeps angel out of the ring until the bell rings and the two of you are announced winners and to your surprise new tag team champions cheering until it turns to a surprised yelp when jimmy lifts you in his arms after both titles were put on the ground "I'm proud of you" you smile sweetly as everything around the two of you disappears only focusing on each other and you were filled with a sense of unconditional love leaning in and sharing a kiss with each other as the crowd cheers loudly in surprise and joy as you grab your titles and walk hand in hand backstage "I'm proud of you too baby" the two of you celebrate the rest of the night and soon you are welcomed with open arms into his family becoming a great tag team along with his brother Jey.

[sickficideas]

SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT KUNIKIDA HAS IBS?? 😭

I mean, this man is always so stressed and nervous, I imagine him coming back home after a long work day and curling up in bed and clutching his stomach because it feels so sore and nauseous... I WANT TO COMFORT HIM SO BAD.

ANON...ANON...!!!! I know this wasn't technically a request but you are such a genius I wrote a fic about this so fast LMAO I hope you like it <3

cast a spell || kunizai sickfic

ao3! emeto fic, mild nsfw themes at the end - please refer to this link for additional tags!

Kunikida really should have gone home early today. His stomach is not cutting him any slack.

He doesn't have the energy to change. All he can really manage is taking off his shoes and belt before he crawls into his bed. It's unlike him. He has a routine when he gets home. Light cleaning, checking the stock in his fridge, and various other things that his schedule details, but his body won't allow him to tonight. Any more time on his feet will have him hunched over the toilet again in no time.

His stomach has been sick since lunch. He isn't sure exactly what set it off today. He didn't try anything new. He was hoping it was a usual stress ache. He gets those so often that he's able to brush them off easily and keep working, but only about an hour before he left the agency, he found himself curled up beside the toilet in the bathroom and bringing up his still-digesting lunch, miserable and cradling his bloated and twisting tummy.

He's still sore and achy. He was in there for about a half over gagging and retching, long enough to get looks and questions when he walked back out into the office. He had to brush it off and pretend he felt better, but he didn't.

He groans quietly and he curls tighter on himself, arms wrapped around his middle. He thinks he should be used to this by now, but he isn't. It hurts, he's sore, he feels nauseous, he's almost certain he's going to throw up again tonight, and all he can do is be miserable about it until it happens.

Just as he's starting to let his exhaustion take over enough to relax, he hears his front door open, and footsteps start in the direction of his bedroom.

"Ugh…Dazai…?" he groans. He doesn't need to see or hear him. He knows those footsteps.

"The one and only," he sings, albeit more quietly than usual. Almost like he's being considerate. His footsteps stop, and although Kunikida has his back turned to his bedroom door, he imagines Dazai leaning against the frame. "Not feeling good, huh, Kunikida?"

"I'll be fine. Just need to lie down for a while," Kunikida mumbles. He feels his stomach churn uncomfortably and he has to shift to take some of the pressure off of it. He has some hope that he'll be able to finish his house chores later after some rest, but he almost never gets that lucky. Especially not with how sick his stomach has been today.

"Take any medicine?" Dazai asks.

"No," Kunikida huffs.

"Where is it?"

"I'm not telling you where my medication is, Dazai," Kunikida grumbles, forcing himself to sit up. Dazai makes a good point, though, he should probably take something to help with the nausea and pain before he rests.

"Aww, come on. I was just trying to help," Dazai whines. He's pouting in the doorway.

"I don't trust you," Kunikida mumbles as he stands up, taking a few deep breaths in the hope that it'll calm down his stomach enough for him to get up.

He walks by Dazai with a pained groan into the kitchen. The nausea is suddenly much worse, but he should have expected it to be. He's hoping he can just take some medicine and go rest, but by the time he makes it to the kitchen, he has to rethink his strategy. He burps into a closed fist, and then again, wet and acidic, bringing up a few chunks of his lunch to coat his tongue, just like last time.

"Uhhgh…uhrrp - "

He feels whatever is left in his stomach make a reappearance at the back of his throat, and he thanks whatever coincidence that forced him to stand up that he's next to the sink, because he bends over it with an arm around his middle to bring up his stomach contents with a sick splatter into it. His stomach twists and he groans from the pain, only to burp up another mouthful of bile, burning the back of his throat.

"You still have something left in there?" Dazai says, suddenly appearing behind him. He feels Dazai take his ponytail and lay something on the back of his neck that makes him shiver - a damp washcloth. It feels good. "Just get it up, you'll feel better soon."

It helps him focus his breathing a little bit. His breaths are interrupted by nauseous burps here and there, attempts to get something up, but he thinks he might be done. He spits out a wad of saliva into the sink with a pained moan before he straightens up, but as soon as he does, his glasses fall off of the top of his head and join his stomach contents in the sink, splashing up some at the sides of the sink.

He forgot he put those there. Of course this would happen to him. He almost reaches in to pick them up, but the thought of having to clean vomit off of his glasses just brings the nausea back in full swing, and he chokes up a wave of digested food and bile that he didn't know he had left in him, splashing on top of his glasses.

"Hhurk…ahh…"

He spits again with an opened-mouth moan, letting the last of the saliva-vomit mixture leave his mouth. He feels his stomach calm down, just enough for him to feel safe enough to step back from the sink.

"Where'd you learn that washcloth trick," Kunikida murmurs, rubbing at his temple. "Ugh…"

"I've never seen it actually help nausea before. But it's good for calming people down," Dazai says. 

A classic evasion of Kunikida's question, but he decides not to pry. He opens the fridge in search of his nausea medication - he spots it, using the door to hide it from Dazai's view, takes a swig out of the cap, and closes the door again.

"You don't wanna go see Yosano?" Dazai asks once the door is shut and they're face to face.

"There's not much she can do," Kunikida says with an exhausted sigh. She's tried, for sure. "It's just the same shit as usual."

Dazai pouts. "You think they'd have some sort of treatment for it by now."

"You'd think," Kunikida agrees. For now, he just has to deal with it. He has to conceal another burp and swallow back a bit of the liquid medicine that bubbles up with it. He just has to hope it stays down long enough to help his stomach feel a little better. "Have you eaten?"

"Nope. Just got here," Dazai says.

"There's leftovers in the fridge. Eat them," Kunikida says.

"You don't want them?" Dazai asks.

"I don't think I'll be able to stomach anything else tonight," Kunikida sighs. "Eat it, you didn't have lunch. And please don't touch any of the medication in there. I don't feel like gagging you to prevent an overdose."

"Okay, okay. Only 'cause you don't feel good," Dazai says, opening the fridge.

While he's up, he decides to change into something he can comfortably rest in. He's worried if he lays down the medicine will come right back up while he's lying on his side. He tries to remember to take deep breaths, it's the only thing that really keeps those sharp, uncomfortable twists of his stomach at bay. He hates throwing up, but he's hoping it stays just that, and doesn't continue with both ends tonight. He can only handle so much.

He crawls back into bed with a drawn-out moan, pressing against his bloated tummy. He takes one of his pillows and wraps his arms tight around it. It's comforting, for some reason.

Just as he's starting to shut his eyes again, he feels Dazai crawl into bed behind him and press a kiss against his temple.

"You sap," Kunikida groans.

"You sap. Look how red your ears got," Dazai teases, lightly tugging at the tip before he settles in next to him, ducking his head into the nape of his neck. "I'll be here, so tell me if you need anything. Also, I cleaned your glasses."

Kunikida thinks Dazai sounds just as tired as he is. He's not sure how useful he'll be, but he appreciates his presence. His warmth is comforting. It always has been. Dazai sneaks a hand under Kunikida's sleep shirt, just over his hip, and starts to rub circles.

"I'm surprised you're not bursting a blood vessel over not finishing your schedule today," Dazai teases.

"You have no idea how stressed I am about it," Kunikida mumbles, his stomach rolling at the thought that he'll just have more to do tomorrow. He groans and sucks in air through his teeth when Dazai's fingers press a bit too hard on a tender spot.

"Sorry, did that hurt?" he asks.

"Just - just a bit," he says as Dazai settles into a gentler rhythm. "It feels good, though."

"Good," Dazai says, "and don't stress yourself out. I'll help you catch up."

Kunikida has his doubts about that, but Dazai sounds sincere in the moment. He almost sounds sweet. Kunikida starts to have a miniature mental crisis about his situationship with Dazai. The way Dazai is pressed up against him, his forehead tucked into the back of his neck like it fits perfectly there, gently rubbing soothing circles into his aching, nauseous tummy. Sure, they've fooled around before, a bit more than they should, but Dazai doesn't seem to be looking for any of that right now. He's really just sticking around because Kunikida isn't feeling good.

Dazai makes him more stressed than he realizes. His cheeks heat up and his stomach lurches again, but he manages to keep it down swallowing the acid back. He's sure Dazai noticed, but he doesn't comment.

"Surprised you're not grossed out by all this," Kunikida murmurs, letting his eyes fall shut. He takes a hand to lay over Dazai's, silently guiding him a bit closer to his navel, and Dazai obliges. Kunikida doesn't bother holding back a moan.

"It's whatever. I feel like we see way grosser stuff at work," Dazai says casually.

"Fair enough," Kunikida says.

"You really like this," Dazai says through something that almost resembles a giggle. "I can hear your little moans in your throat here. It's cute."

"It feels good," Kunikida defends again. It feels like Dazai is rubbing out all of the sore spots in his tummy. "You're good at it."

"I'm glad it feels good," Dazai says, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. Kunikida feels his face flush. "Your poor tummy. I can really feel it bubbling in there…"

Dazai moves up from where he's been lying down, and Kunikida didn't realize he's taken his shirt off, although, he's still covered in bandages. He lays an ear up to Kunikida's stomach, which sends a shiver up his spine.

"Ohh…my poor Kunikida," he says in a pouty voice before he presses a gentle kiss up against it and lays back up against Kunikida's back.

"Your Kunikida?" Kunikida scoffs.

"Mhm…do you belong to anyone else?" Dazai against, nuzzling up into his neck. Kunikida has to admit, he's not sure if Dazai's doing this on purpose, but his stress and stomachache isn't what's at the front of his mind anymore. "I think we need to get some of these bubbles up…"

Dazai's gentle rubs start to get a little more rough, deeper, and Kunikida moans. He thinks he's asking him to burp, which he's not entirely sure he can do without bringing up bile into his mouth, but he'll try. He manages a few little ones, none sounding particularly wet, but after a few comes one that lasts a few seconds.

"Ugmhhuurp…" he swallows back another tiny splash of vomit that came back up and he lays his hand over Dazai's, "hurrk…ah - ahh, ugh, Dazai, not so rough…"

"Sorry, babe," Dazai says gently. "That was good, I think you needed that…"

He does feel a little bit better.

"Maybe," Kunikida groans, although, he can't deny he likes the way Dazai is acting with him right now. He can't admit it out loud, but it's obvious he already knows.

"Love you," Dazai murmurs quietly. His rubs start to slow down, but Kunikida doesn't mind. He's starting to fall asleep himself, and Dazai's really helped his nausea so far, somehow.

"Love you too," Kunikida murmurs quietly, surprised that his half-asleep brain is agreeing to something so quickly. As he starts to slip into a dream, he wonders if Dazai is casting a spell on him. "Thank you."

"Mmm…"

[ujimoo]

For Tonight, For The Weekend, Forever. | KSM [TEASER]

synopsis: going home for your childhood friend's wedding was the easy part, however, facing him was something else entirely.

pairings: seungmin x fem!reader, jisung x OC, chan x OC.

includes: past love, first love, angst, best friend!Jisung, weekend romance, heartbreak, second-chance romance. (maybe some I've missed)

WARNINGS (for the whole piece): mention of mature themes, suggestive - implied sex, but no actual smut. mature jokes (one death joke, sex jokes), drinking, mentions of eating and multiple restaurant 'eating scenes'. maybe more that I've missed.

word count (of teaser): 707

estimated word count of official fic: 25k (ish)

a.n. AAA this is the teaser for the longest fic I have ever written for tumblr. This original idea comes from the song Tis The Damn Season by Taylor Swift, however, as you'll be able to tell, it's changed a lot since the original idea. I have a larger more meaningful author's note for the actual fic, but to keep this short for now, I just want to say a big thank you to Galaxy from @plutominho. They've been a massive help through this fic and this wouldn't be finished or even half-written if it weren't for their help.

a.a.n. let me know if you want to be added to a tag list for when the official fic gets published!

Release Date: 25th December (hopefully)

permanent tag list: @soobin-chois @curlytxe @treetops68 @minniee-bear

FULL FIC NOW RELEASED

You weren’t sure how you ended up aimlessly wandering around at some house party. Gwen had dragged both you and Jisung there as a way to 'celebrate' the that it was the beginning of the final year, but she promptly went off somewhere leaving you and Jisung alone. That was until jisung saw something or someone and disappeared without you even knowing. 

Sure parties were fun, and you liked a good party now and then, but as you stood idly, on the front porch, hoping to catch a glimpse of either of your best friends, the party had lost its spark. 

The air was still cold and your knitted jumper did just a good enough job of shielding you from it, but even with your sweater paws, every now and then a shiver would run down your spine. You wondered if it would be a good time to walk home. Sure you knew, that it was dark and it was a dumb and dangerous idea to walk by yourself, especially without informing your two best friends, but even after an hour at least, you still hadn't found them. 

It was boring, you were bored. You just wanted to go home and find something to watch and prayed that you kept yourself warm enough so you didn't catch a cold. 

"You alright?" You jump at the sudden voice next to you and turn around to see Seungmin with a concerned look on his face. 

You knew Seungmin– well knew him a bit, you had had classes together all throughout high school, but something in you changed within the last year that made you look at him differently. You weren't sure what it was exactly, but something about him made your heart flutter. 

"I'm okay," you smile. "I lost my friends, I thinking of heading home." You laugh at your words. 

"On your own?" He asks and you nod in response. "But it's dangerous, what if something happens?" 

"Eh," you push your lips into a thin line. "What's the worst that could happen?" 

"A lot of things?" He responds to your rhetorical question.

Turning your body to face him, you smile. "I'll be fine, plus if you're worried so much you could always walk me back?" 

Seungmin blinks and the sides of his mouth lift into a smile, one that makes your own even wider. You shocked yourself at your own confidence, but what surprised you more was the fact he agreed. 

"Okay," he hums. "I'll walk with you." 

"You sure?" You ask, pointing casually at the front door. "Not worried about leaving the party so soon?" 

He shakes his head and motions for you to lead the way. "Nah, the party doesn't seem to compare now." 

The walk back with him was an experience like no other and Seungmin is almost charming, showering you with compliments. Saying how the walk back with you is more fun than he's had in the past hour and a half he had been back at the party. 

So when you slow down and stop outside of your house, it's sad. You didn't want to part ways with him just yet, this was the most you had spoken to him in one go, and you didn't want it to end so early. 

Turning to him once again, you smile. "Thank you for walking back with me." 

"Thank you for your company," he smiles. 

Looking up at him, your smile doesn't leave your face and his own seemed to mimic yours. 

You couldn't tell how long you had both been standing there, looking at each other, but just like the walk, you didn't want it to end. He steps forward, leaning his face closer ever so slightly and whispers. "Can I say goodnight?" 

Butterflies erupt in your chest as you question, "In what way?." 

“A special way, with your consent of course,” he responds.

He doesn’t wait for you to finish nodding.

Your first kiss with Seungmin is short and sweet and you can taste a hint of cola on his lips. 

It didn’t matter that you had nothing to compare it to, but something in your heart knew that you'd never want to kiss anyone else if it wasn't Seungmin's lips on yours.

[s-che]

for the tarot rpg ask game! The Fool, The Empress, The Hierophant, The Chariot, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Sun

This is so many questions!! I am gonna have to go a little shorter for each of them, but thank you for your interests lmao.

from the RPG Designer tarot ask game

The Fool – What do the earliest stages of work on a game look like for you? OR How did you get into game design?

Games start one of two ways for me: either I think "there should be a game that feels like X" or I think "I want to write about Y and I think for one reason or another a game is a place to do it." That second option is usually just the first option wearing sunglasses, anyway — since the main reason I might write something as a game (rather than a poem, short story, etc) is to try and get that experiential edge, where I'm not just conveying what I'm thinking to you but you the reader/player can dig around in it (and see why I feel a way about something). Then I start writing. Usually pretty freeform. Lots of lists of things. Lots of stream of consciousness "I want it to do this so therefore it must include that" until I start to get a better picture of what the game is going to be.

The Empress — Where do your ideas come from? OR Do you seek out or avoid inspiration while working on an idea?

I love nothing more than to dig into an inspiration while I'm working on a project. I like to surround myself with as much aligned stimuli as I can — recently I've been reading Piranesi and Doug Cowan's Cyberhenge and Drawing Down the Moon and listening to a lot of wizard themed hyperpop, for example. You can guess where I might be going with that. Let me drown in the thing I am thinking about, please.

And then credit my inspirations, of course.

The Hierophant — Who is a fellow game designer you’ve learned a lot from? OR What is a piece of popular wisdom about games you think is nonsense?

This is straying a little bit from the prompt, but: I fucking hate it when people try to frame the TTRPG design world as a family / community / whatever. Shut the fuck up. At TTRPGs best they're a scene and at the worst they're an (unregulated and monopolized) industry. I have communities and families within that, but they're not people I'm going to reach with a tag.

The Chariot — What is the next project you’re planning to start OR What is the next project you’re excited to finish?

I mentioned this in another response, but. I've been thinking a lot about wizards lately. Alchemists. Notetaking. Esoterica. A lot of this is: it's summer and I'm not getting my grad school itch scratched, but I've got something new that I just need to polish up a bit... A game I think y'all sickos would enjoy.

Also a Lemony Snicket thing, but that's another story.

The Hanged Man — What other creative pursuits do you have? OR What current trends in game design are you most interested in?

I think we're due for another hackable and misunderstandable system pretty soon, a la PBTA or BITD or NDNM or whatever. Feels like the cutting edge of design has moved on from those things — while still keeping their lessons in mind — and we just need something to blow up in the right way that we end up coining a new term for it. I can feel it coming, I'm just not sure where.

Oh, and One D&D launch is gonna be a mess. The post-CR D&D boom hasn't had to live through an edition change yet. No idea what that's gonna look like, but I can't wait.

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

I played some Wizard's Grimoire (issue 1, but all of them look cool as shit) with a friend recently. Good game for laying on a couch and daydreaming magic boys.

The Tower — Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned.

When I was maybe a freshman in college — in fact I can remember working on it in 2017 — I wanted to write a PBTA game about paladins of different creeds slamming into each other. It sucked. I didn't know how to write games yet and it came out looking like worse Dungeon World. I'm glad it doesn't exist anywhere.

Don't write worse Dungeon World, folks.

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

I've been tinkering with some ideas for a multiple-player one-character Disco Elysium-ish game about plurality and inner dialogues. It's fun to roll around in my head! Not sure if I'll ever end up making it, but thinking about ways to mechanize squabbling for authorial control — i.e. to let you play as several people fighting to front — has been a lot of fun.

The Sun — Talk about a game you’ve made that you’re proud of.

Book of 13 Hours. I did some spells with a friend recently and love them. And I talked to the lake I've been stay next to for the last week or so. Good game. Good magic.

[blehblarghblah]

Update:

I am proud to announce that "Loyalty & Light" now has a date of return! Yeaaaah! That's right, we're back in business... soon. heh. Hopefully, now having a date will tide you all over.

Meanwhile, “The Most Undoing Thing” is well on its way and will follow a more sporadic update format. Meaning, it probably won’t be as frequent as y’all would like. If you still haven’t heard, TMUT is going to 20 chapters so we’ve got three left! Wooo!

But now, it's time to promote what else I got in the works:

Arcane/Legends of Runeterra, Mama Jinx future AU, multi-chapter story (Title: “The Most Undoing Thing”). Returns August 9th, uploads (somewhat) monthly basis.

The Owl House, Lealtad Noceda big sister/beta sister AU, multi-chapter story (Title: “Loyalty & Light”). Returns August 2nd, uploads biweekly basis.

The Owl House & The Ghost and Molly McGee crossover, crossover AU, multi-chapter story (Title: “The Light and Molly McGee”). Work in Progress. (not coming anytime soon).

The Walking Dead (TV series) & Telltale's The Walking Dead (game) crossover, crossover AU, Violetine, Rick meets Clem, multi-chapter story (Title: "The After"). Work in Progress (not coming anytime soon).

The Dragon Prince, Rayllum oneshot collection, multi-AU & canon compliant stories (Title: “Magic Between the Moon & Sky”). Still on hiatus! I've yet to actually even watch season 4! But it'll be back eventually!

Halloween Fics! It's early to promote now, but by October I have three oneshots of three different fandoms planned! All Halloween themed and with ships!

So yeah, we getting busy folks! I would like to lead with that though there are schedules in place, these are subject to change in events of burnout, personal matters, or just inconveniences like tech issues. Or there may be random fics that pop up that weren't listed but I just made for the Hell of it. Keeping up with the fic tags---which is usually the fic name plus "update" at the end---is the best way to stay up to date on my fic series/multi-chapter stories.

I should state for the record, I will be returning to university this coming Fall and working part-time more. I'm going to be more busy of course, but I swear I’m doing my best to make sure I'm not overwhelmed! ᕦ( ò_ó)ᕤ

As always, if you're curious about these WIP fics I have in store, don't be afraid to ask about 'em! I'm always down to answer asks ( ^‿^).

Also, here is my ko-fi. I stated this before, but there is no pressure or need to donate (especially since I haven't been posting as much 😅). Fanfiction is a fun hobby and practice for me, but it's also out of my own free time and effort. So if you want to show your appreciation you can buy me a Coffee but the easy way would be sending me a comment on my stories or simply sharing my works. At the end of the day, I do this to spread my passion but also to entertain others.

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

By the way, tags with “bleh update” keep track of all incoming fic posts! And check out my Fandom Masterlist to see what I'm into! Also Here’s all my Fanfics!

That's all for now. Stay safe and take care all!

Until next post,

- Bleh

[itsseohannbin]

Hannji Rambles / Another Life Update

hiiii Pookies!!

Hope everyone is doing well and taking care of themselves!!!

I'm just popping in with a quick life update (cause apparently I'm having a lot of those lately) to kind of let everyone know what's been going on lately.

I know I said a couple weeks ago that I was ready to come back to tumblr and begin posting again, and I am, however, there's been a bit of a change of plans in regards to me starting up my writing/posting fics again.

Because I have been put on a temporary stress leave by my family doctor for the next couple weeks, I'm trying to reduce the amount of stress/triggers in my life until my next appointment, where I will be reassessed to determine if I'm fit to go back to work or not. I want to continue writing and posting because writing has always been a strong outlet for me to relieve stress and clear my brain when the noise gets too much, however, I need to make changes to what I will posting in order to help keep my stress levels under control.

SO,

that being said, I will be posting the remaining few parts/chapters of Like A Volcano (for all my Hannie stans out there who are ever so patiently waiting), BUT at this time, I will not be writing/posting a Jisung POV for this fic. I wanted to, and I was super excited to write a part in his pov, but I've been struggling with writing it for the last few months and it's really put a damper on my already not-so-good mental state. Maybe in the future, I will upload a snippet, but since the idea of creating a Jisung POV for LAV is causing more stress than it's worth, it will be put on the backburner for the time being. I AM SORRY FOR THOSE WHO WERE WANTING IT I JUST CANNOT WORK WITH IT RN!

However, the last few parts will be edited/revised and posted in the coming week-ish so I can finally put that fic to rest and start up The Blackened Heart again bc I am so so excited to start writing that again!

In addition to the Jisung POV being scraped (for the time being), I am also putting a halt on the LAV spinoffs I had in the works (Connected, which is the Chan x Jo spin off, and Waiting For Us, which is the Minho x Ash spin off) simply because both of them are causing more tension and stress than necessary.. I don't like it when writing feels like it's becoming a chore, I'd rather write stuff that I'm excited to write and post, and that entire AU series has quickly become the opposite of what I want to do... I will be coming back to them eventually, but as of right now, I need to do what I can to alleviate the amount of distress in my life, and that means putting LAV/Connected/WFU on hold.

I am happy to say I will be continuing my commission for the lovely @bethanysnow that I've been slowly working on while I get back into the swing of things, ((beth baby i am so sorry its taking so long im just really struggling right now so please bear with me :( )) and I'm of course still writing drabbles, fake!text posts, and my OT8 "The L Word" series.

Thank you all for the never-ending support and love I'm still receiving from a lot of you despite my inactiveness. Just know I read every single one of your comments, reblogs, and things that you all tag me in. I am still very much here in spirit, just slowly working my way back up to being a fully functional human being

In the meantime, as some of you may already know, I am starting a small business where I make beaded keychains, rings, lanyards, bracelets and more. Beading has very quickly become a safe haven for me and its very therapeutic to just sit for hours watching tv and making stuff to eventually sell. I am starting up an instagram account specifically for this business called Hannji's Creations, so if you're interested in what I'm making and such, feel free to give me a follow over there. I'm making a lot of SKZ themed stuff, however, I'm also opening up ideas for other kpop groups and other styled collections in general.

Thank you again to everyone who has stuck around and checked in on me these last few months. I know life can be tough sometimes, and lately I'm having a hard time getting back up somedays, but you guys all make it more bearable, so thank you. thank you for your continuous understanding and unconditional love..

You guys are awesome!

can't wait to show you all what's in store!!

Much Love,

Hannji <3

[nixie-writes-aot]

Alright. So, I wanted to talk about something. Because I find it interesting. Mind you, this is all just my interpretation of these characters and the story. I could be completely wrong or off!

This are the tags that inspired this thought process! I won't be putting the poster on blast but of course none of this is meant to be disrespectful at all! Under the cut, I'll be talking about some spoilers for s4 alongside just generally things to do with Reiner(including mentioned suicide/suicidal ideation) so thats your warning! Keep in mind I have not yet gotten up to date on the manga. This is from my knowledge with anime(current) and manga(roughly Marley/Yeagerist arc, just after Eren is a dick to Armin and Mikasa).

Everyone in aot has their own goals. Some are not known well, like Porco or Levi. There are others like Reiner, Eren, and Erwin that are well known. Erwin wanted to know the truth, completely unfiltered. It was his dream to learn more about, not just titans or the outside world, but the Walls too. About the world and society he grew up in. Erwin was willing to do anything to accomplish that, going against King Fritz, Zachary, and even Levi's wishes. Yes, his actions resulted in a lot of people dying. But as Levi mentions in the Female Titan arc, you can only make a choice and hope that its one with no regrets. Hell, thats what Levi's OVA is about. Erwin isn't selfish. Not anymore than Levi or Eren or, yes, even Marco.

Marco's own goals and dreams aren't as well highlighted as Erwin, so this might dip into moreso me over analyzing his character. Marco says to Shadis that he wants to be an MP to defend the King. Which is an honorable goal and met with ridicule from Shadis(pretty sure he ridiculed all of them though). Yet if we look deeper, consider why Marco wants to give his life to King Fritz. Because he views King Fritz as his king, he's showing loyalty and thinks that King Fritz is extremely important. Just as the society of the Walls tries to impresses upon everyone with that idea. However, his goal can also be seen as "selfish" as much as it can be called "selfless". In aot, it seems, that a major theme is that everyone has different dreams and ideals. Some are similar(Hanji wants to learn about titans, Armin wants to learn about the outside world, Erwin just wants the truth), some aren't(Reiner wants to be the perfect warrior, Marcel wants to protect Porco). To me, Marco wanting to "dedicate his heart" is neither selfless nor selfish but just a dream. His dream, his goal. Its as much for himself as it is for King Fritz and the Walls.

Now, I mentioned Reiner, Eren, Hanji, and Armin but I'm also going to talk about Mikasa. These are some of the most interesting people in the show. Hell, even Jean and Levi. Jean wants to be someone that Marco would be proud of and Levi wants to be able to make choices he won't regret. Those goals, like Marco and Erwin's, can be seen as selfless or selfish. But there are others who's choices change. Jean is one. He starts in s1 as someone who wants to just survive and becomes someone who's living for Marco. Like Mikasa. Her goal is to keep Eren alive but that drastically changes in s4. Where she suffers with having to come to terms with what Eren says/does, I believe thats the whole symbolism over Mikasa not wearing the scarf.

Eren, Armin, and Hanji have one solid goal until the end of s3. Then it changes. Eren's goal was to avenge those lost(but especially Carla) by killing all the titans. He does that. Or well, he indirectly does that. What happens when his goal has been accomplished? What comes next? Well, Eren saw the titans as an enemy, saw other titanshifters as enemies. He makes the jump in logic that his next goal should be killing all his enemies. Why? Because it happens in the future? Not completely. Because he loves his friends. He'll do anything for them. Sasha, Jean, Connie, Armin, and Mikasa are the only people he really has left in the world. They are his family. So, he sees that and knows that Marley is a threat. I believe it started as just wanting Marley gone but possibly saw that Eldians who didn't live in Marley were just as demonized, that the world all saw Paradis as a threat.

Armin's dream prior to s4 is to see the world, learn about that. From the get go, he was always vocal about that. Just like Eren was with killing the titans. Just like how Hanji wanted to learn about the titans. They were all very vocal about those dreams. What happens when he sees the ocean? The icon of everything he dreamt and read about? The very thing that motivated Armin, someone distinctly weak who's real strength laid in his intelligence, to put his life under risk time and time again? He changes, he learns and he grows. Armin still wants to learn like that but uts nit his main motivator anymore. Instead, he wants to live up to what happened in s3. He wants to live up to Erwin's name and prove himself an asset like Erwin had been.

Hanji's goal also changes. They started as someone angry at titans before they begun being curious. Which is what sets Hanji apart from anyone else. Whereas the others have this grim outlook on titans, they had an almost positive one. Hanji wanted to learn about titans. Not out of anything like knowing how to kill them better but rather out of a genuine scientific curiosity. Yet, in s3 they learn everything about titans thanks to Grisha. They don't even seem all that curious about titanshifters in s4 but Hanji is curious about the world. They wanted to reach out and say hi, to introduce Paradis as a potential ally to many countries. I believe at the end of s4 part 2, they have one reason behind their actions. The reason why they seem rather eager to make friends with Magath and Pieck despite how much bad blood there is. Their moral code mixed with them wanting to learn. Hanji has always been a curious soul.

Now, Reiner. Reiner is more interesting. Possibly the most interesting in the entire show. I talked about those who's goals changed once but Reiner? His changes several times. In s1, he wants to be a warrior. He wants to the strong "big brother". This is what leads to his split, his "soldier side" and "warrior side". After the rough start to his mission, losing Marcel, he is seen hugging Annie and Bertholdt. One of those being someone who he knows doesn't like or trust him. After all, how do you trust someone who actively threatened you and your status in a place like Marley? Then in s2 and s3, he just wants to go home. He lost Annie and Marcel, the mission went to shit. Why would Marley send so many of their warriors? Because for the plan to succeed they needed that many. Yet, Marcel and Annie were lost. The manga shows that Marcel's loss had a serious hit on even just breaking into Shiganshina. Reiner then lost Bertholdt and had to fight with himseld internally, grappling with his guilt and PTSD alone. Something that he likely leaned on Bertholdt for support with. Which is why he just wants things to end in s4 part 1. From his perspective, without knowing a thing about what Eren had been up to, he thought it was all over. He wanted to end everything, end his suffering. Reiner only found his intial reason to live in Gabi and Falco. Then in part 2, he actually wants to sacrifice himself so Falco could take his titan like his original plan with motivating Falco was. Yet Reiner couldn't do it. Whats his new goal then? I think its to finally stop Eren, to do anything for the family he has. After all, that was his goal behind becoming a warrior in the first place.

Fuck. Man. This show makes me feel such emotions hdndkdnd

[eloquent-kenku]

Hello! :)

I've tried a little to get my old table back together, but with conflicting schedules and other interests occupying our time (hello ff14), it hasn't happened. I'm still holding out hope though! And, if all else fails, I can make something new.

So, the short of it is my worldbuilding is on pause. I've used this blog to gather inspiration and keep notes together for myself, but I feel with no players to live in it, then there's no world to build.

I don't intend to give up on mygerdion and eirrstrom. they just need to be shelved while I handle what's in front of me. (close friends will know I've been pouring all my creative energy into my final fantasy characters. if you're interested, my carrd is on my main blog @bunnyboybosom )

In the meantime, I will be going back through this blog and better organizing things. Today I updated my desktop theme and changed my handle from "dmsaysitsmyturnonthexbox" to "eloquent-kenku." I plan to make a pinned masterpost that will include links to the handful of lore posts I've written, as well as my common tags.

If you see this, thank you for sticking around! It's been a hard couple of years for all of us. While I may not know you, I'm proud of you for keeping on, too.

Until next time, dears!