#I'm going for immortality personally. Just not dying. It's a choice you can make.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Death and the Afterlife #2

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. There's a lot of lore; I don't know everything. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

Dying/Pre-Judgement | Judgements | Afterlives [WIP]

Judgements, not necessarily just Kelemvor's job: • "Go back and try again" • The False • The Faithless • The Faithfull • Why resurrection has a time limit.

So there are two schools of approach to this. We have lore where Kelemvor and the Fugue are the be-all and end-all of the beginning of the afterlife.

And then we have "that's Kelemvorite propaganda", "Kelemvor cannot actually manage to judge all of those souls, god or no", and all the death gods judge their own people:

"The time requirements of stewardship over the dead tax even [the gods of the dead], however, and [social] visits [between them] are rare." - Faiths and Pantheons

The Prince of Lies novel also stated that Cyric had no jurisdiction over demihuman souls, and he resented non-humans for it.

"Kelemvor’s clergy will tell you that Kelemvor governs the fate of all souls. However, this is (honestly believed by those who say it) church propaganda. In other words, it isn’t true; the truth is that Kelemvor can’t even keep up with judging all Faerûnian pantheon-worshipping human souls. "So, yes, the souls of nonhuman beings go to other judges and judgments, some souls get lost and “wander,” and humans who worship the Mulhorandi pantheon or other deities not of Toril encounter other judges. It seems to vary on a case-by-case basis, which really means mortals are struggling to understand the afterlife, and various faiths are attempting to provide answers which likely have more to do with reassurance and doctrine than reality." - Ed Greenwood

So if he's calling in the other death gods to handle their own people (presumably according to the standards of their own pantheons):

Sehanine Moonbow, who begins to call to elves in their reveries as they reach the end of their life, summoning them to Arvandor. -

Urogalan, the halfling guardian of the dead and Yondalla's judge and advisor. He collects the souls of dead halflings and takes them to his realm, where he sorts them out and assigns them their appropriate afterlives. -

Segojan Earthcaller is the gnomish god of the dead. -

Dumathoin is the dwarven protector of the dead. -

The Mulhorandi are literal Ancient Egyptians, although there's been some cultural divergence. Osiris judges the souls of the dead alone, and there's no mention of the weighing of the heart and such. -

Chultans believe that at the end of the maze that is life, they will exit that maze and stand before Ubtao, who will ask them to draw the map of the maze they walked. If they do it correctly, they are welcomed into the gods home to live with him in paradise. If they get it wrong they are cast out back to Toril, to wander the earth as ghosts and ghouls. (The Tabaxi - a human tribe, not the cat people - often doodle these metaphorical life mazes throughout their lives as practice and contemplation) -

I'm not sure who handles the drow, because none of the Dark Seldarine are going to tolerate any of the rest of the pantheon going anywhere near their followers' souls. Eilistraee tends to pick her followers up personally anyway. -

Null is the death god of the draconic pantheon. if you worship Tiamat you probably know him as Faluzure, the Reaver (who blesses those who have taken the most lives) and if you favour Bahamut then you probably know him as Chronepsis, the Guardian of the Lost, who guides souls to the Dragon Eyrie where they will be protected and no longer troubled by enemies and in-fighting. -

Yurtrus is the orcish god of the dead

Some souls may also have unexpected judgements:

“Kelemvor himself has been known to (for unknown reasons) pluck certain souls away from the usual fates of his judgments, to serve him. Often they end up sent back into mortal life on missions, often in bodies of a different race and/or gender than that of their previous life.” - Ed Greenwood

So, the Judgements:

Being sent back to Toril: The gods may restore a soul back to its original body.

“Sometimes, the being’s own desires or the will of a deity cause it to be ‘sent back’ to life, or stuck in undeath (e.g. a revenant) to take care of unfinished life business.”

These people have a sense about them that is noticeable to the supernaturally attuned, especially divine spellcasters and the zealous. A being is usually returned when a deity still has need of the soul's service in the mortal world. Most of the death gods don't care very much for deities creating undead this way, but what one or a few gods think of things historically matters very little as far as godly rules go. This also happens in the case of “disputes” – due to Toril being a polytheistic setting where everybody worships the entire pantheon, sometimes more than one deity has an equal claim on a soul. Usually people have a single patron god, but occasionally they have more, or happened to live their lives in line with the doctrine and aims of a different deity giving that god grounds to claim the soul suits them better. In this case the soul is resurrected and will be tested and watched carefully to see which god they’re the best match for. Some deities will also go for more traditional reincarnation, and the soul will be reborn as an infant with a new life, such as the Companions of the Hall, who were given the option to move on or be reborn again. Some physical traits and subconscious memories may carry over to the next life, and I think there are cases of people recalling who they used to be. ---

Being judged False The False are those who have made a commitment to a deity (clergy, chosen, paladins, etc), but then deliberately betrayed their god and their teachings and so the god either will or can not claim them. As they have nowhere to go, the False remain on the Fugue plane serving their sentence in the City of Justice. Their punishment is determined by how severely they have betrayed their god: it may range from horrific eternal torture that would kill a living person, to minor punishments like having menial tasks assigned to them like serving as guides or servants for beings they hate. The sentence is usually eternal, however occasionally it’s a temporary sentence and eventually ���a deity” sends servants to recover the soul for resurrection and another chance at life. It isn’t specified whether this deity is the one they betrayed, or if it's a different god that has a claim on the soul but had to postpone this claim until that soul had finished serving their punishment for their broken oath. ---

Being judged Faithless The Faithless did not worship any gods and actively reject and shun them all. Some of them flat out refuse to acknowledge that the gods exist, or claim that the gods are simply powerful beings pretending at divinity (which most of the population of Toril views the same way most people view flat earthers.) If forced to pray, they went through the motions but nothing more.

Some of them are Faithless because they did not further any god’s aim in life, which is impressive: “Many gods consider mortal deeds to be worship, even if the mortal didn't intend them so.” So never trying to do anything with your life, never actually doing more than lip-service to living by, supporting and furthering morals, values and ethics you claim to care about, whatever they are, I guess. Or being so apathetic you don't bother to form any opinions or feelings on anything. In your entire life. Parents in the Realms will have their newborns blessed by priests as soon as possible and give them toys featuring the holy symbols of one of the gods in the hopes of getting them attached to it (so stuffed animals in the shape of the god’s sacred animal/s, surrounding them with certain colours and symbols etc). For an infant, lacking much comprehension of the world, these things count as being faithful.

Deathbed conversions are also valid - petitioning a god just before expiring, assuming your life choices and desires/beliefs are compatible with the deity you are petitioning, will allow them to claim your soul. Traditionally the sentence is for Faithless souls to be mortared into a wall of screaming souls (the Wall of the Faithless), where their identity is slowly and tortuously dissolved until they are absorbed into the structure and cease to exist. Faithlessness and hubris ran rampant amongst ancient empires such as the Netherese and Imaskari, who probably make up large chunks of the Wall. Myrkul came up with it during his tenure as Lord of the Dead (While controversial amongst fans, this is actually far from the worst fate one can meet in the afterlife imo.) Furthermore, demons occasionally invade from the Abyss and forcibly tear souls from the wall en-masse to take back to the Abyss. If the stolen soul was one that was of interest to a deity – who for whatever reason couldn’t claim it in judgement – they will send their servants to intercept the demon and fight it for the soul. There is talk of the Wall having been removed in 5e, but the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide still mentions it being there. ---

Being collected by your deity Being handed over to their deity, who takes them back to their home plane. Generally this is the patron deity, the deity the mortal worships most out of the pantheon and/or whose worldview, drive, ethics and etc they themselves align best with as a person.

The Fugue plane has connections to the divine realms of every god on Toril, and deities send one of their servants - celestials, fiends, undead, other petitioners - to the City of Judgement to wait for the soul and bring it to their domain.

Petitioners, by default, have no memory of their past lives and lack true individuality unless a deity intervenes to maintain their identity. Or identities, if they've been subject to reincarnation and lived more than one lifetime: elven spirits, for example, consciously maintain knowledge of all the lives they've lived while in Arvandor.

From there are a few fates, the specifics of which depend on the god:

Petitioners, without intervention, slowly lose their identity as they are continually assimilated into the plane itself and are absorbed.

Some petitioners just live in their deity's realm forever, I guess.

Some petitioners are absorbed into their deity's divine essence (I don't know whether they have any consciousness or sense-of-self within the god; if they're anything like the Bhaalspawn situation, then they are.)

Gods may convert the mortal soul into another being: fiends, celestials and etc.

Sometimes they eventually send them back to Toril to be reincarnated into a new life, or to serve certain tasks as undead.

The many ways a soul can be lost is part of the reason resurrection spells come with time limits.

"A successful resurrection heals a brain and a body, and the soul and animating spirit return to the body, the spirit linking brain and soul together to the body and “life as before” is back again."

For a successful resurrection the body (especially the brain) must exist and not be too heavily damaged (not a requirement for true resurrection) and the soul must still exist as an independent entity to be recovered. The longer a soul is gone, the higher the chance it is no longer a mortal soul, or has lost its individuality. Both the soul and the deity must also consent to the soul returning.

A resurrected person has no memory of the afterlife, or anything that happened to them from the moment they died to the moment they lived again unless a deity wills it otherwise.

[starlight-drive-in]

I'm in my feelings about THE Emmrich decision and the fact that over half of players chose it?! Disorganized sappy rambling below.

I had seen a spoiler after starting the game the Emmrich could become a lich before I had the quest in game (and before I had really gotten a feel for his character) so I wasn't surprised when he told me about the possibility and I wasn't necessarily opposed to it at first. It sounded - at surface level - pretty cool and like a solution to his fear of dying.

I was considering romancing him at this point and thought a romance with a lich sounded interesting enough, my Rook was a Mourn Watcher, so it made sense to me that this wouldn't bother her all that much. (At this point I didn't know it was a choice between that and Manfred)

But the more I thought about and the general trend of immortality corrupting a person, and thought how tragic it would be for Emmrich lose his joy for life, his childlike wonder, his kindness, or even how immortally would impact his capacity for love the more i strayed away from "letting" him do it.

Now include the fact that Manfred shows all that new potential right before he gets ripped away? How excited Emmrich was to hear Manfred talk? How he kneels down to Manfred's height to encourage new words from him right there in Hezenkoss's basement. It really clicked for me then that Manfred isn't just a friend or a assistant to Emmrich, no. That is his son.

As soon as Manfred is crushed, he immediately takes him to the lich lords, I think he knows they aren't going to let him have his cake and eat it too but he takes him straight there regardless. He doesn't teeter on the decision the way he's been teetering on the decision of Lichdom.

It's only when he considers "should" that he falters. He says something to the effect of, "What kind of Watcher would I be if I can't accept death?" In that moment it felt to me that he wasn't choosing between Manfred and Lichdom he was choosing between what he wanted and what he thinks he should do, who he thinks he should be and his duty to the Watchers. I wanted so badly to be able to say something like "Forget about the Watchers, what do YOU want?"

Post decision, Emmrich doesn't seem to have regrets about not becoming a lich? Sure he wonders what could have been but we don't hear about companions overhearing him mourning his lose of immortality, and Manfred seems to give him a new lease on life immediately. In the scene after we revive Manfred, Emmrich's literally so proud and happy? Plus he pretty much says "no regrets". I can understand that maybe people think Lich Emmrich is more inline with what he "should be" and that's the way to go, or maybe people just think lich's are cooler and skeletal sons... who knows. The stats just really surprised me given that you make that decision after the heartwarming scene of Manfred's first words.

After hearing some of the post-lich banters (that ripped my heart out), I want to know how many people re-loaded that decision, especially if they romanced him. But I also understand that TragedyTM has its own appeal.

I watched the romanced version of the lich scene and the scene itself has it's appeal (and a waaaaay earlier love confession than human Human Emmrich but it makes sense) but as for the rest of his existence, I prefer the happy family ending. What can I say?

I have waaaay more thoughts on this and the angst potential of the lich path but that's another post entirely.

If you read all this, you are amazing and I hope you have a wonderful day, or your day gets better if its going poorly.

P.S. if you chose Lichdom, absolutely no hate, you do you. I'm just a sap.

[vanillasann]

His World, Your World

Pairing: Venti x gn!reader

Genre: Angst <3

Summary: He loves his nation and you just almost as much. For Mondstadt is his world and he'd do everything he could to protect it. Even if it costs his life. So when you have to choose between his death or his nation's, he begs you to choose his. But will you?

TW: Major character death (u), but nothing too graphic. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are many grammar errors! <//3

Note: I've been dying to write something since last, last, last year/? but my lazy ass is stronger than me. This draft has been in here for a year. But oh, well, at least I write something now. I've always loved 'Which would he choose? You or the world?' trope and also inspired by a fanart I saw months ago; Venti hates you because you chose him over Mondstadt, but sadly I forgot their username-.

It's not a secret for anyone to know the fact that Mondstadt is Venti's home. It won't even be an overstatement to say that Mondstadt is his world.

For him loving it oh so much; even greater than he value his own life. For it was what his friends had always been wanted. For it was what his friends had been fight for.

He loves it dearly with all of his heart. He loves the people in it; his people, his children. He loves the freedom his nation has. And for it, he'll do anything he could to protect it. Even if the cost that he must pay is his life.

What to lose? I am but an archon that has long ago left my nation anyway. They'll be just alright without me, he thinks.

There are so many words that could describe Venti. He is a God. An Archon. An immortal being. A cheerful person that is allergic to cats. A drunkard bard. But never even in his mind that he'd ever could be described as a lover.

A lover who loves his partner passionately. A lover who cares so much about his partner's well-being. A lover who will go out of his way to comfort and cheer them whenever the world gets too mean towards them. A lover who vows to his partner that he'll protect them with everything he has.

Venti knows that he's rather friendly with all his acquaintances. Yet he never thought about even the possibility of him falling in love with someone, let alone a mere mortal being, for he is an archon.

At least that's what he thought. Until he met you.

You, who make his heart thump like crazy, feels like knocking hazardly in his chest. You, who make his day a bit more brighter just by getting a thought of your voice calling his name. You, who make him smile like a drunk man even when he hasn't chugged any bottle of Diluc's dandelion wine. And you, who make him addicted of your all.

He tried to shrug it off as his form of interest towards you. Nothing big, just a little crush that will wilt over time, he thought back then. But that little crush was and is still growing wildly every time he spends his day with you. Making a flower garden that he himself can't seem to get rid of, for he has gotten fond of these feelings.

He cherished every moment he has with you, whether it's just strolling around Windrise or visiting Diluc with Kaeya. Whether it's mundane things like joking and making a fool of himself just so he can hear a chorus of your laughter he so adore or a pretty night when he asks you to join him to stargazing in Starsnatch Cliff.

He loves you so much that he even drinks wine less just so he can spend more time with you. He loves you so much that he writes songs about you so that the world knows how amazing you are that even an archon fell head over heels for you.

He loves you and his nation just almost as much; with all of his heart, with everything that he has. That he'd sacrifice anything else if it means he could keep his nation and you safe.

So when you are faced with a big choice that had to be made, he pleads- no. He begs you to choose his doom.

While Venti is a lover who yearns nothing but to spend a lifetime with you, his love, he also is Barbatos, an archon of a nation. He couldn't imagine his life if you'd choose him over his nation, his world.

He begs and cries and sobs to you while clings like you are his lifeline.

Who you are to decline his pleas?

But while you understand his position, you couldn't help but feels like he's selfish. Oh so selfish to sacrifice himself so no one would die. Because while yes, everyone might just be alright, but- what about you?

You who had loved him so much, too much in fact, that you'd choose his life over yours, even over the world, for he was yours. You who had given him everything you had and gave in to his every whim and plea every single day without fail. You, who can't even think about your life without him and his laughter.

And Mondstadt will not last that long without him anyway, you tried to justify yourself in front of a mirror silently. Blank stare at your broken state reflection.

But the flashes of his dying heart and broken scream and tear-stained face of sorrow, because he lost his nation, make your stomach churn and tighten your chest that you can't draw even shallow breath. A realization hit you; He couldn't live without his nation, and vice versa.

That much is what you need to know to make the decision. You clean yourself as much as you can and go to make it.

Underneath the sunset glow and under the tree in windrise you two stare at each other deeply with an empty smiles, trying to pretend everything is alright.

"Are you really sure about this?"

"You promise you're gonna be happy?"

"You promise you're gonna be fine without me?"

He nods at every question you throw at him, even with a trembling smile and tears that threaten to fall, he stands his ground. He answers your questions like he knows what you'll choose after his pleas and begs. Because you'd never say no to him, for you love him too much.

He'd accepted his doom. Anything for his nation to be safe and for you to continue your life, even without him.

But then why?

Why is your form slumping against him in his embrace as if you don't have any strength to even hold it anymore?

Why are you rubbing his back softly and whispering apologies for what you've done?

Why are your breathing and your heart slowly fading away despite him holding you so tight against him?

Why is he screaming your name repeatedly with uncontrollable tears that fall while he tries to shake you awake when it should have been him who won't respond to yours?

Why is he can't do anything despite him being a God, an archon, to bring you back by his side?

Why would you trade your place in his stead as a sacrifice?

Venti doesn't understand.

Or rather, he doesn't want to. For he forgot that he knows a fact.

That while Mondstadt is his world, Venti was yours.

[imageingrunge]

A needlessly thorough review of DATV so I can move on with my life:

WHAT I LIKED:

The story pacing flows better without all that open world slog from DAI I am not bombarded by 50 side quests that have no baring on anything other than rp flavor

The game is pretty, CC is nice

They gave you far more opportunities to flesh out your Rook's background than in DAI and da2 but it's not as fun has having a mini origin story from DAO

no fall damage and if u run out of a combat zone ur companions follow u too

Hossberg wetlands really remind me of dragon age awakenings and I like the way the blight looks there, it gave me a nice nostalgic feeling for the older games

WHAT I DID NOT LIKE (IN DETAIL)

Voice Acting & Dialogue

It is really hard to be invested in a game that feels the need to recap everything you just experienced from 5 minutes ago, (verging on insulting my intelligence) and the silliest part is while i do hate this I got so checked out after act 2 I needed the recap 

A lot of the dialogue and banter is just empty small talk and meaningless pleasantries that sucked the life out of me, had me longing for the days of hearing Ohgren's beer belches reverberate off the walls in the deep roads:

 Voice acting is really consistent, I hated it when you never knew how your inquisitor would sound in DAI sometimes too serious for a funny comment or like yelling at Cassandra and cullen over nothing - Rook is more consistent but it comes at a loss of personality every line is uttered in the same annoying tone that had me being like damn can he stfu already (da2 was ideal voice acting for me if they cant deliver that again just go back to a voiceless protagonist)

Me whenever my rook opened his mouth: i was getting violent on that skip button

The dialogue between rook and their companions holds it back from being enjoyable at all really- here's some examples:

Emmerich's personal quest in act 2: "I want to do this immortality rite it's a very high honor in my order but rook I might die in the process permanently, I am an orphan and afraid of dying" Rook: "You could die?!?! That's awful". In Origins you can have a conversation with Wynn about her inevitable death and respond in a manner similar to rook and Wynn teases you by saying "well i'm not going to live for ever dear" it made me smile and sad about not being able to really help her. Did not feel that way Emmerich though, Im so uninterested in him as a character my response and feelings are "old people die all the time" and then 'wait why the fuck haven't you done this immortality ritual yet instead dragging me over here to collect some flowers"

Companions & Romance

the flirt options aren't all that flirty, its just rook being nice, all the romance content seems behind a 'romance locked in' moment (that comes in so late in the game u already forgot who u were even flirting with at times) so you can't hop ur way from one bed to another before deciding on 'the forever one' (remember when I could ride the iron bull then break up and be with Cullen- I don't think that’s an option here)

The companions are all pretty forgettable, I did everyone's personal quest (with the exception of Taash tried to kill a dragon for them n failed so bad i just moved on) and forgot there was even an approval system with them or that I was supposed to pick choices for them. It felt like i was on a train going in one direction where it did not matter what I said or did to them they would be fine. It’s like I've lost and gained nothing by doing these quests. The deepest thing I learned about Emmerich is that he is a 50 yr old orphan scared of dying. And it makes me not care all that much about them beyond “I just need you to function enough to get me to the end of the game sure Taash embrace being Rivaini, yes Harding live peacefully w that Titan shit inside you idc… Lucanis..ahh what was ur issue again I forget”

I made Lucanis live peacefully with Spite (stuck as an abomination that's supposed to be as volatile as Anders & Justice) Let Emmerich become a lich and no one batted an eye. Everyone just heehee haw hawing over Emmerich's new skeleton form and I forget about spite a lot unless he comments on something i've killed. Was there supposed to be some moral quandary? to make Emmerich a lich I had to "kill off" Manfred... the walking skeleton who might as well have been a rock with a pair of googly eyes attached to him for all i care

I don’t want to help Bellara light funeral pyres in a puzzle game play style that isnt a deep message about death. I want Aveline's speech about reading her favorite book to her dying father after hawke lost thier mother.

For Neve's romance, it took the whole world falling part and everyone dying for her to kiss me for a 2 time and then pity fuck me and afterword she’s like I’m leaving don’t want to be too distracting. All these lines carry no weight like bad actors w no chemistry

jaw on the floor comparing this (first time I said "i love you" to neve)

to the first time I said it to cullen and how he treats u before the big battle

I get that she isn't lovey dovey but at 70 hrs in and 2 kisses it feels like she just dont love me </3

Combat - as a spellblade mage*

combat was this weird mix of sometimes fun sometimes a new and unique form of human torture (wydm press shift 4 times n hold down e then press V C and 2 IM ON A KEYBOARD!) Once u make it past level 20 u are immortal but ur enemies are sponges I dreaded every single dragon fight despite that being my favorite thing to do in DAI. Don't ever want to see another Ogre in my life they body me into corners that hitting space can't save me from.

At some point u just gotta run around the place a lot hoping ur companions can do the damage for you bc the mobs aren’t interested in them at all. i was spamming 2 n slamming on that E key hopping it would be over n done with already, If i wanted to play a flashy monster hunter game, well then id play tw3 at least that combat is fun.

Lore & Story building

At the end of Trespasser, I was under the impression that the conflict in DATV would revolve around solas amassing an army of elves all over Thedas to rebel against the Evanuris. He had a whole network of Spies working against the Inquisition and the Antaam, and planned to restore the elven people, upend their religious views, and try to tear down the veil as a way of atonement. So I was understanding of there only being 3 import choices ( 1- who you romanced, 2- Save or redeem Solas 3- Disband or Keep inquisition). But that's not the story we get; instead its this??

The veil jumpers are like engineering mages with no ties to Solas beyond being an elves. There is no religious struggle they just seem to accept that these Gods have always been evil and need to be stopped. Solas is just a one man army trapped in the fade off screen for like 70% of the game. Should I have just kept the inquisition around after all? The only mention I got was my disbanded inquisition choice was inky going "my name still carries weight in southern thedas" and it seemed like disbanding or keeping it would have an affect on how easy or hard it would be to stop Solas but no it really doesn't at all

“It doesn’t feel like a Dragon Age game”

A criticism I rarely take seriously because that can mean so many different things? Like what is it the atmosphere? The aesthetics? The “dArK fAnTasy” none of these things have ever stayed consistent in any dragon age game. And I’d say DA franchise lost its teeth/edge when dai rolled around it was pretty light in the world of dark fantasy

However…theyre kinda right this time around....

It doesn’t feel like a dragon age game because they removed a lot of the lore your were exposed to in the previous games to the point where this might as well be another game all together. (i am not even a lore nerd but i do need something there to feel like i am in a dragon age game)

Yes the city is named Minrathos you were are told of its cultural significance and history as the seat of the empire but looks like a shittier version of kirkwall (and I kept getting lost going around the map so I hated it even more for wasting my time) Honestly the city felt super high tech and out of place in a fantasy setting imo, I missed it when everyone lived in a wooden hovel in the middle of the woods.

There is no reason for the venatori to follow Elgarnan and ghilian'nan or for the Qunari either but it all gets hand waved away with "they offered us power"

Reading the Inquisitors letters made me feel like im in a spinoff game and the real story is happening somewhere else. And sad to like baby take me with you!! i want to save u from this nightmare

A lot of the factions are sanitized to the point of being boring Darvin's little 'we're warden we don't do blood magic that's just not right" baby I let the wardens sacrifice elves to Corphyeus 3 weeks ago :/

Qunari Culture

So the whole reason you were fighting the Antaam in DAI was because they believed you were in cahoots with Solas, who's whole plan to them is to sow chaos and disorder- that is a HUGE no no in the Qun so they see it as their sacred duty to stop you. The Qunari we meet in DATV mindless npc mooks who attack you not because your with Solas but because the Evil elven gos promised them uhh power n shit for stopping you. Like I know I did not just waste my time in DAI reading about how egalitarian the Qun is everyone is like a Hive, they depend on each other so selfishness is rooted out so wtf was going on in Treviso with these guys. A whole culture decimated down to being darkspawn mobs part 2

What made me never want to play another DA game ever again:

Everything you ever did in Orlais, Ferelden, Kirkwall is pointless. No matter what the last letter from the Inquistor is "yeah the blight reached the south Denerim is gone, ferelden is blighted beyond repair, we took back Skyhold but barely. The Venatori disposed of whoever you put in charge of Orlais and there's giant leviathans rising out the sea in Ostwick"  There is no conclusion to this it's just the state of the world now

I cant even pretend my non solas romanced Inky is happy and safe after all this? My hof and Alistar might as well be dead for all that it ever mattered. I get that the devs wanted a clean slate but did they have to burn my house down and salt the fields? It feels so spiteful and mean, like they wanted to make a whole separate game and tack on the "dragon age" title to it for money. If they're not interested in the lore or world building why should I? it made me fully checked out of the rest of the story. Like damn idgaf about elgar'nan and the other one give me back Redcliff

TLDR I dont know if i should be sad that I still care about this or glad its over either way im blocking all datv tags n moving on

[himehomu]

Homura did nothing wrong. And I stand by that. Because, she didn't do anything wrong towards anyone nor did she do anything with malicious intent. The only thing she did wrong is entirely in regards to herself. Rather than basing Homura's entire character around an act she made out of love or reduce her character to an evildoer with no morals nor love in her heart like some people still do to this day under the poor facade of “valid criticism,” I'm going to explain what Homura actually did wrong in Rebellion and her what her act of selfishness actually was.

What Homura did wrong was condemn herself to suffering as an immortal deity, the Devil whom acts as a rebellion against God, The Law of Cycles, strict laws of the original universe, which included Madoka Kaname not existing. That is what she did wrong, but not in the black and white, Good-vs-Evil way most people interpret this as. Yes, they are meant to be enemies one day, but because God favors rules and always doing the right thing, whereas the Devil favors her desire to stay in a world where Madoka is happy, where her friends are happy, where they are safe and have a chance at a life. A desire for happiness vs maintaining order of a broken world for the greater good, even if maintaining order means making sacrifices and making hard choices that directly rebel against that desire and yearning for happiness.

But, here is why Homura is wrong in dooming herself to her fate as the Devil. It's very subtle, but seconds before the Flower Field scene, as they are walking, Madoka turns and tells Homura that it really hurts her seeing her in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it. This may seem like a simple thing a friend would say, but remember that Madoka lost her memories as a goddess. And, as a goddess, she was stuck alone in Heaven having to watch life go by, Homura's life go by, and wasn't able to interfere. Think about that for a second. Think about being Madokami.

Think about when she could finally understand just how much Homura did for her, just how much Homura fought for her in all those time loops; the moment she's able to reciprocate her feelings, she fades from existence as the consequence. Wanting so badly to comfort Homura as she bears the psychological burden of being the only person to remember her, to know her, to miss her, to grieve and mourn her. Thinking the only time she’ll ever be able to see let alone talk to Homura again is when she’s essentially dying from all the grief, the pain, the guilt, the sadness of not being able to save her from her fate of being a goddess trapped in isolation. Think about that, then look at what she says here again. Of course it hurts Madoka seeing Homura hurting so badly and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Because that's what she's been doing as The Law of Cycles. Much like how she said she'd never make the decision to become a Goddess in the first place a few seconds later, she says this because this is the real Madoka who loves and cherishes Homura, who hates to see her hurt.

Take that into consideration when looking at what Homura turns herself into at the end of Rebellion, how she's suffering and you can see the exhaustion on her face and in her eyes, how you can see the immortality essentially sucking the humanity out of her to the point where she herself believes she is evil. This was never about Good vs. Evil. This is about Homura hating herself so much not only for being unable to save Madoka, but possibly even for loving her in the first place considering her love is what made her powerful enough to condemn herself to her fate as a Goddess trapped in Heaven with her wish. This is about Madoka hating herself so much to where she only deems herself worthy so long as she's helping others, her self-loathing making her reduce herself to a sacrificial lamb and throwing away her life for the better of everyone else, caring so little for herself and being unable to even fathom that she'd be mourned or grieved if she were to die, thus sacrificing herself over and over, seeing herself as a means to an end if it means freedom for everyone she loves. Madoka has always been there to comfort Homura and protect her since the first timeline. How can she do that if her memories and powers to do so are locked away? She can't. Because Homura doesn't believe she deserves Madoka's love.

Homura doesn't believe she's worth Madoka's sacrifice in becoming a God and Madoka doesn't believe she's worth Homura's sacrifice in becoming the Devil. Madoka cannot understand that she is so so much more than what she can give to other people whilst Homura is the only one that does. Homura can't understand that dooming herself to immortality pains and hurts Madoka because she can't do anything about it thus she can't save her from her suffering like how Homura ceased her suffering. It's a cycle. A snake eating it's own tail. A pumpkin that spins round and round and round. They're both selfish and they're both selfless. Homura is selfish in the sense that she's not taking into consideration how Madoka would feel if she knew how much she were suffering as the Devil for her sake yet she is being selfless because she's only suffering as the Devil for Madoka and her family and their friends to have a happy life. Madoka is selfish in the same sense that she's not taking into consideration just how psychologically damaging it is for Homura to not only have to watch her die over and over again throughout 100 timelines but to then erase herself from existence with Homura being the only one to remember her and she is selfless by of course only sacrificing herself so much because she cares for everyone and all Magical Girls, Homura especially included. They both love each other enough to sacrifice themselves for the other but they both hate themselves so much to where they believe they are undeserving of the other's love hence they keep dooming themselves to suffering in isolation and in turn dooming each other.

[notmorbid]

miss subways.

dialogue prompts from miss subways: a novel by david duchovny.

every day here is like a new stanford experiment.

my inner judge never has rehabilitation in mind.

if i'm not busy learning or being born, i'm busy dying.

you want me here, but then you want to ignore me.

one step forward, one half-step back.

i like the phrase 'making love'.

fuck you, asshole.

to the victors go the nomenclature.

gods are immortal, so they're patient.

not even i can stomach scientology.

what is the sound of one hand clapping?

i don't want to be famous. i don't have the clothes for it.

my identity can't be longer than a tweet.

i saw an opening. i decided to be the bad guy.

you're not going to start biting the heads off live bats, are you?

it's true, then. you can't take it with you.

you worried so hard for so long.

i'm sorry, i didn't get your last name.

you called me? what are you, 103 years old?

jesus would not go to nobu.

i don't mind you thinking outside the box. i mind you thinking outside of my box.

either lie down completely or stand the fuck up. it's gonna kill you in the middle.

you sound like oprah, except mean.

i want to live my life, not document it on instagram.

you lie to yourself and you lie to me.

to save something, something must be sacrificed. that's the way it goes.

we can't police our dreams. don't judge.

it felt like a death.

if i own something long enough, i start ascribing feelings to it.

that billy shakespeare, he got everywhere first.

i'm a reader, not a writer.

come on, let's get you cleaned up.

did i call you last night?

i was a different person with a different life. i've never had a dream like that.

there's nothing more boring than listening to somebody else's dream.

i can be a good shrink or a good friend. not both. choose.

i can't remember the last time i got laid.

don't be such a pussy.

i feel like i'm coming up short.

this is no time to come out of the closet.

was i a disappointment to you?

i like seeing things the way i do.

which version is the real you?

don't worry. there won't be a quiz.

the future is as random and fated as the past.

so much of life necessitates looking away.

have you been crying?

you forgot your trigger warning.

what i want has very little to do with anything.

spare me the faux shame.

when do the exceptions just pile up and make a new rule?

i like structure. i like to know i've done my homework.

i have to go to confession.

i don't know what to pray for.

the prayer is the god.

you stabbed a priest?

i need to change the past.

i'm losing you to that place you go.

shut the front door!

what would the perfect life look like?

you have the coolest, most beautiful eyes i've ever seen.

sing you to sleep? i don't really know any songs.

you don't know any songs? that's not possible.

i think i've always wanted to be taken advantage of by a gigolo.

you seem too smart to be an actor.

little lies make bigger lies possible.

there's something you're not saying.

there's a lot i'm not saying. i'm sure there's a lot you're not saying, too.

take the reins. write your own story.

i'm sorry you heard that.

i screwed up. you're not gonna love me anymore.

we all know better, but we're human. we screw up.

how do we know our character unless we step outside it and look its way, now and then?

is it my business? you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.

i feel tall enough to ride this rollercoaster.

maybe you don't see yourself the way i see you.

you understand fine. you're just too nervous to comprehend.

people fall in love in difficult circumstances. most songs are about it.

let's agree on a moratorium on questions like "how did you know?".

well, stop guessing. start knowing.

just because i'm funny doesn't mean i'm not lethal.

you're already in the game. you have no choice but to play on.

don't tell me what i want. don't put words in my mouth.

where has playing by the rules gotten you?

maybe you have more power than you think you do.

one of the lies we tell children is that reason will get them through this life.

in order to love, you have to know what death is.

as first kisses go, i've had worse.

there's such a thing as too much history.

i want to be with you, but not like this.

i'm quite forgettable. that's like, the most memorable thing about me.

do you actually believe in past lives?

this conversation requires more wine than i currently have.

is there something else you'd like to ask? i get the feeling there is.

[darkfictionjude]

For the IF Question, I'd say I'm largely turned off by IFs that go straight into the action. Keeper of Sun and Moon, Werewolves: Haven, all of these dive in headfirst without giving us time to actually look at the characters.

WWC we have the asylum and the party, Bastard of Camelot starts from your character's birth, Blood Moon we have the pack hunting down strays (their idea of 'normal'), The Fog Knows Your Name has the ferry ride and then hanging out, and Thicker Than, etc before the main plotline starts.

It's just better (in my opinion) to have a few scenes regarding normal life before the main plotline begins. Establish characters, get a backstory, all that fun stuff.

Hmm...what else? Genrewise I'll take anything that's good, but I prefer supernatural and fantasy stories.

Writing style: Paragraphs. Give us paragraphs, please. I won't say this is a deal breaker, but how hard is it to just press 'enter' to make it easier for your viewers' eyes? Plus I find it helps with pacing as well.

However, I do dislike it when authors clearly haven't put all their effort into thinking about what a person can do.

I know this is a me issue, but when there's only two choices to make and it's obvious to me that there are at least five different ways to get a more favorable outcome...it's not a dealbreaker but it's damn annoying.

Also, well-developed characters, but that's a pretty borderline requirement.

I love poetic languages, metaphors, etc.

Also, I love darker or at the least, thematically appropriate worldbuilding. E.g, Thicker Than (a vampire IF that's a sequel to Blood Moon), where being a vampire kinda sucks.

To elaborate: a lot of vampire fiction tries to make it seem like being a vampire is bad or at least, not all good. And sure, there's the basics like not being able to enter a home, not walking out in the sun.

But the Vampire Diaries for instance pretty much takes these away. Sun protection in the form of magical rings, hypnosis to be able to come inside a home, etc, to the point where being a vampire is much more fun and beneficial than being a boring human. And when they die, they get to go to Peace (basically Heaven).

But Thicker Than actually treats vampirism as being a bit of a grey thing. The character gets superpowers, sure, and immortality, and advanced healing. But their thirst for blood grows everyday. The oldest vampire is a sociopathic wreck who lives in utter boredom and hunger, restrained to a single city because that's the only way he can get the blood he needs to survive.

This thirst is especially bad when you play the route where you have a kid (Which I did because angst, angst, angst). And then, perhaps the singular reason to not become a vampire in this world: vampires don't have souls. When a vampire is made, the human soul moves on leaving a shambling corpse behind.

So the vampire self and the human self are completely different. And once a vampire dies, it's game over.

Side note: Vampires can't cry either, because 'grief belongs to the living, not the dead'. I love the world-building in this IF. It's just very thematically appropriate and here it actually makes sense as to why people wouldn't want to become a vampire.

I love how half of this is about vamps one of my fav topics and so yeah I’ve played thicker than I’m a fan of the author

You see I think like when vampirism is seen as a curse, that it’s nightmarish I really want to see nosferatu since I’ve heard how bleak it is. I think vampirism is treated as a bad thing because it’s used as metaphor for something whether it be aids, sexual assault, repression, night terrors, serial killers and the fear of death but also the fear of not dying before someone you love does

I saw the vampire diaries and I think it’s fine to show the virtues of being a vampire but what I hated was that they sought to take away what makes vampires vampires. Like the daylight ring stuff, the fact that they can eat human food, etc., I like my vamps more gothic so I felt they were defanged in that show

[imminent-danger-came]

Okay, so hear me out. Someone a while back mentioned that maybe Wukong's plan was to die once Qi Xiaotian was fully trained and ready to take over the full Monkey King schtick. Maybe the kings who are involved in a plot to kill Sun Wukong, if that is what's going down, don't know. (That sounds like a thing Wukong might talk to only a few of the kings to prevent stuff from happening early. And considering there's only eight kings in that meeting that we see...)

I'm imagining a very messy situation if that gets out. From the kings setting things that can't be stopped into motion for nothing to Xiaotian having what I best described as a meltdown at the thought of Wukong leaving him for good.

I think I saw an animatic with an idea like that once!

Personally however, that's not something I think Sun Wukong would do. He's self-sacrificial, sure, but part of that is from knowing he has the protection of being immortal 7 times over—throwing himself into danger time and time again is something he can get away with. Another thing is that when Wukong leaves, he always does so with the intention of coming back even in the most dire of circumstances. Wukong planning to become a mentor to this kid and then abandoning him with the weight of the world and the mantle of Monkey King on his shoulders—that's messed up. Which of course Wukong is flawed and makes plenty of mistakes, but that's a certain flavor of messed up that feels very not-Wukong to me. Even when Wukong makes his own selfish choices, he is usually working for others best interests at heart (whether or not it actually IS there best interest is a different conversation entirely). There's just not really a justifiable reason for anyone other than himself to leave like that. It's also the opposite of the conclusion he comes to at the end of s3: "Mei was right—I need to stop dragging you into my fights." And, well, if your plan was to die and give up on the world anyways, why bring up a successor at all? In the s4 special we were shown Wukong's paranoia over mortality—over dying—what would cause him to do that 180? ((Which these questions aren't really a counter point but more of something I'm asking to flesh out the idea.))

While it's definitely a fun and angsty concept (certainly something the fandom should explore if they want to), I'm not sure it has a place in the current story. If that was Wukong's plan, it would have happened (or have been greatly hinted at) at the beginning of s4 ("I think you actually might have done more for the world than I ever had!" which is very "the Student has become the Master"). I could see something more along the lines of Wukong sacrificing himself for MK in some way (which he commonly does), and really pushing his immortality to the brink. If Wukong's gonna die, it's going to be somethin' like that.

[themswritinwords]

The Hundred Fifty Seven Deaths of the Immortal Ethan Ellis: Cast profiles: Ethan Ellis

The man himself (Ethan) - he/him; 24 years old biologically, 310 years old chronologically; Quietly Depressed Optimist in Desperate Need of a Hug and a Nap

Depressed, traumatized, self-sacrificial, dysfunctional, exhausted--what's not to relate to love?

Just woke up during his own autopsy. That's definitely not going to unearth any poorly-buried Issues!

What do you mean endless gallows humor and self deprecation aren't healthy coping mechanisms?

*slaps bruised and blood-stained noggin* This bad boy can fit so much mental illness and metaphor in him.

The result of a necromancer-wannabe's attempts at immortality; ex-human-guinea-pig with all of the attendant moral, philosophical, and psychological conundrums that come with death being a temporary condition.

One of three "successful" experiments. The other two adjusted pretty well, all things considered. Ethan did not.

Alas, they didn't have therapy in colonial America. You know what they did have, though? An abundance of dangerous life paths and causes worth dying for. That's not gonna reinforce any dangerous thought patterns or unhealthy mental states, I'm sure!

Longest streak between deaths has been just shy of 4 years. All but one of them has been his own dang fault. He is fully aware of this, but in a deeper sense, he is entirely unaware of this.

Always cared more about others than himself. This got infinitely worse when he realized he could die without consequences (supposedly).

Animals hate him! and no that is not just the start of a clickbait article. Every animal he's met since getting immortal'd has tried to put him back in the ground. He used to be a cat person, though.

Chronically friendless and self-isolated. People don't handle the dead guy coming back to life very well, and he's gotten more than one witness in life-ruining trouble by reviving in front of them. He finds it easier to just stay away from people on all but a surface level. (Again, I can't imagine that's going to cause problems down the line....)

Travels like an overripe peach, which is to say he is the King of Motion Sickness

Repeated resurrection has turned the man into a caloric dumpster. Over the course of a day and a half he consumes ~30 chicken nuggets, four burgers, a large fry, a medium bag of chips, a popsicle, and half a cup of ice and he's still desperately hungry.

Flip flops between annoying little brother energy and annoyed big brother energy depending on who he's arguing with at the time.

Wants: Everyone and Everything to leave him tf alone (also a shower)

Needs: One good reason to live and way fewer reasons to get himself killed

Immediate goals: Keep his only friends from getting dragged down with him and all his issues

Long term goals: None, and that's rather the point (not that this is a recurring theme in my characters or anything....)

Character arc can best be described as: that quote that's like "Dying is easy, living is hard;" the shift from hope, caring, and love as passive traits to hope, caring, and love as active choices worth making

Favorite things about writing him

The Catharsis. There's a reason so many of my OCs end up with mental illnesses and unhealthy patterns of thought. Ethan is just the most explicit of these self-inserts.

The snarcasm and humor were both challenging and so fun. I'm not a witty person by nature, so it took a bit of perspective shift to get right. I think I got better a dialogue overall by writing him.

He's a very internal and thought-ful person, and it was an interesting balance to write. He always thinks more than he says and feels more than he thinks.

Not to toot my own horn, but his third act breakdown and "Oh Sh*t" moment were a delight to write and some of my strongest writing moments.

His voice is very informal and sarcastic, and it was fun to write genuine horror in a goofball, this-might-as-well-happen sort of way.

[goodieghosty]

I need an in-depth explanation on Colette, is she completely human? Or is she something else? 🤔

I love you asdfghjkl sorry-

I have so much lore for the gal, and I'm still working on it and tweaking it to somewhat make sense for LOL. But once you start reading into some of the champions it's like "ey wtf this is cool" and then never touched upon again.

But to answer your question: yes and no

I'll explain below the cut, but I do recommend watching my animatic for a little more context! (Here)

Cw for stillborn, childloss

Colette's birthmother is from Freljord. And in a moment of pure desperation, she prayed to whatever manner of god or being that would hear her in that moment to keep her newborn child alive. Because, you know, for drama's sake the poor woman went into an early labor during a horrible storm.

She didn't care what god heard her, she didn't care what she had to give up.

Now, there are gods in LOL, and demi gods, and what have you. They have their own thing going on. I'm focusing on some Norse myth inspiration because I want to. Because they're neat.

Anyways-what ends up hearing mother dearest? A mythical serpent representing life and death and its infinite cycle, rebirth, and transformation. And this being, it its infinite wisdom, is all "alright, I'll bite, this child is mine now" not literally, of course. And poor mum has no clue that she's actually been heard, because she's holding her breathless child in her hands and mourning-

And MEANWHILE, all the way in Piltover, a newborn that had just been declared dead-breathes its first breath, much to a previously distraught mother's delight. This is Colette.

And Colette has always been an odd one. Always felt like something was missing. Snakes have always interested her, and vice versa, it would seem. She'd have strange dreams frequently, mostly about giant serpents. But never quite looked into it.

She doesn't find out about her identity until after her "first" death, via the train. Where'll she'll meet her?? Patron serpent? Serpatron? Lol. After that? Things go to shit. I'll say it likely takes place before season 2?

Gal has to come to terms with the fact that she's an immortal shapeshifter. "Oh but that sounds great-" yeah okay, but she can still die and experience the pain from it. And when she comes back? Her soul is squeezing its way into a potentially unwilling but otherwise weak and dying host. And g o d, she has to go into hiding because she cannot take the look of utter hope and astonishment from that person's loved ones when they see what they think is their friend/lover/child walking around. It isn't, it's just her. But they don't know that, and she can never get that across.

She has to rip and tear and claw at the skin and flesh and hair just to reveal her own form underneath it all-and that's a mess. Blood and viscera. This body is not hers, and she knows it, but she has no choice. She's never actually had a body that was really her own. Not really.

Live and die, again and again, and again and always remembering and never being sure if This time will be the last. If she'll be able to find her way back to her loved ones. If it's all even worth it in the end.

And the answer will always be 'yes', because even if her loved ones die, she'll always remember them.

I suppose she would be classified as a demigod??

Gal is assumed dead during season 2, because her soul is currently in a body on a different continent and she's freaking out, trying to get the hang of her abilites, while trying to figure out how to leave without breaking this family's hearts.

She'll return to Zaun eventually, after the war. Gal heard "War" and immediately went "my friends are there!! ;A;" but couldn't slip away soon enough to participate in the actual battle.

That poor family will be left thinking their terminally ill family member, who got miraculously better overnight, got skinned alive or something. Because uh-listen Colette's never done this before. Gal was itchy. Her skin was shedding. What do snakes do when they shed? Scratch themselves against anything they can. Who was she supposed to know this was how her shapeshifting worked??? She's TRYING

People saw her get hit by the train though, so when she gets back it's uh, it's gonna be awkward and emotional. Don't think she'll tell many the truth, just a select few. And the rest can speculate, she doesn't care.

Will eventually take on more serpentine characteristics, leaving folks to speculate on what exactly she is. She never tells ppl the same thing.

[ase-trollplays]

1 thru 5 for Brandy

1 What’s an important lesson your muse has learned over the past few years and how has that changed the way they live?

Brandy is fucking smooth-brained. He's a dense mother fucker. The densest. He carved open a troll not realizing they're immortal, politely asked to take their organs when he realized he can't kill them, then made several bad attempts to apologize later as if he did something mundane like spill a drink on them instead of attempted murder. And he still believes they're being unreasonable by refusing the apology.

You think a man like that learns lessons? The closest thing to a lesson he's ever learned is that having a life outside of the apartment and real friends to physically interact with after Japhyr essentially kept him locked away his entire childhood and teen years is awesome.

2. How does the time your muse lives in influence their lifestyle? Are they happy they’re born in their time, or do they fantasize about a different era?

He wishes he could have been alive back when being lime was allowed. It annoys him that he has to either hide or lie about his blood color when he leaves The Villa. I wouldn't say he fantasizes about it, but he thinks about it quite a bit.

3. Does your muse focus mainly on one long term goal or multiple short term ones? What do they think about the reachability of their goals and what are they?

He focuses on short-term goals a lot more than anything long-term. Hell, I can't even say he has any long-term goals right now. He doesn't want to join the fleet or have lofty aspirations, he has no intention of living outside of The Villa or leaving either of his jobs, and he has no idea his twin is out there for him to search for because Japhyr let him forget/gaslit him into forgetting. He's happy to just live his life night by night with no big picture to speak of.

His short-term goals are always something really simple and easily reachable: Successfully help host a server-wide event next perigee in the discorpse servers he moderates, save enough money to upgrade his telescopes or buy new ones, plan a special holiday surprise for his matesprit next week. Real quaint goals.

4. Is your muse an optimist or pessimist and how does this influence their choices?

He's an optimist! He chooses to look on the bright side of things and live in whatever way makes him happy, which can cause him to make irresponsible decisions frequently.

5. Does your muse have any irrational fears that hold them back in life? Do they come from experience (trauma) or is it, for instance, part of a belief system they have?

Not really. I mean, we're talking about a guy who grew up in 1) a secret hidden Eldritch Town where 2) cannibalism is entirely normal 3) house mimics puppet troll-like creatures to lure unsuspecting folks inside to be eaten 4) the whispers of The Damned and The Horrorterrors can frequently be heard, and 5) the entire city and surrounding beach and forest have perpetual sinister You're Going To Die Here vibes.

He's a difficult person to scare and doesn't fear much is what I'm saying. He doesn't have any phobias that I can name. He's not even afraid of dying.

[andiwriteordie]

👋👋👋 tell me your idea for the Merlin/Byler au? 👀👀👀👀👀

toy of COURSE i will tell you my idea for a merlin/byler au. i will like to say first though. because i need somebody to know and i'm being whiny. that i just slammed by finger into my door and it HURTS OH MY GOD.

anyways, first of all, i wrote this half asleep at 5 something in the morning, but this is what i imagined as the opener:

This is a tale of two young men, born to meet one another and to always be by each other’s side. Two sides of the same coin, some might call it. Destiny, others might say.

But destiny is a delicate thing, its strings woven loose yet tight, and the decisions one makes can often begin to unravel those threads, changing them into an entirely new tapestry all together.

This tale is an unusual one.

Because this tale is one that begins where it ends.

so the idea that i was thinking of was to start with how merlin ends, where like we meet will and mike at the end of their story together. will would be like merlin (Most Powerful Warlock™️) and mike would be like arthur (the noble king/knight destined to lead and guide), except destiny is unraveling at its seams. mike is dying, and will can't do anything to save him. even with all his power, he can't save mike's life, so will just holds mike as he dies.

will, like merlin, would be immortal in this, and he would get to hold onto the promise given by the dragon at the end that mike would return—that their destiny and their story together is not yet complete. when the world needs him again, mike is going to return, and until then, all will can do is wait for him. and so, will says goodbye to his best friend and the person he loves most (though the two of them never explicitly say it to one another, which is part of the tragedy), and he leaves the lake alone.

we flash forward, around 1,500 years later to the year 1970, and some way or another, will gets some sort of magical dream that lets him know that soon mike is going to come back, and that he has a choice: he can choose to essentially die and be reborn so he can mike grow up together, because destiny will always bring the two of them together, or he can continue to wait and just find mike again and

the choice gives will an out of sorts. a chance to start over, and though he initially thinks it would be best for mike if he just waits those years until mike is older and it's time for their destiny to kick into full gear, he's prompted by whatever magic-y figure is presenting him with this choice and he's encouraged to make a choice that is for him too. because will has been alone all this time and his heart is heavy, so being reborn would give him that chance to start over and to begin again. it's promised that when destiny does arrive and the time is right, will and mike will both learn of their shared past again (something we'll say with a mix of will's magic and just the general magic existing in the cosmos and stuff), so will agrees to this.

march 22, 1971. will byers is born. a little over 2 weeks later, on april 7, 1971, mike wheeler is born. destiny begins to weave its tapestry again.

the next scene, we see will around late 1983/early 1984 in the direct aftermath of his kidnapping into the upside down. his dreams consist of the trauma he experienced in the upside down of course, and though the memories themselves are foggy, he keeps coming back to his last few hours in the upside down, being intubated and nearly dying. and in foggy memories and moments interspersed between will's near death experience, he begins to dream of his and mike's past life together. these dreams only show fragments—will using his magic and protecting mike's life, mike as a brave knight and a king protecting will in return. it's easily shrugged off by will as him projecting. after all, they're a cleric and a paladin in dnd, right? so that makes sense.

(that doesn't change the terror though that will experiences when his dreams begin to show himself—several years older, weeping as mike dies in his arms. that grief feels paralyzing, and the dream keeps getting interrupted, flashing back and forth between the upside down and his old memories).

next scene, we pick up late 1985/early 1986 in lenora hills, california. will is trying to adjust. he still has nightmares, but they're less focused on the upside down now. the dreams of himself and mike in their past lives are clearer—amplified by the mind flayer's connection from 1984. but there's no way they could be memories, right? how would that even work? and will doesn't have magic. el has magic, not will. he's just will. so will keeps this part of his life quiet, not telling anyone.

one day though, we see a soft willel moment where el opens up to will about losing her own magic—how it feels like a part of her is missing. she's always been forced to use her magic in violent manners, and it scared her for a long time. but now that it is gone, there's a strange sense of warmth lacking. like an old friend is missing, and she just feels different. this prompts will to ask her what it's like... having magic, and so el does her best to explain it.

and it's familiar. there's a tingling in the back of will's next, and something inside him whispers, "this is familiar. you knew this already. you know this. you do."

he tries not to think about it too much.

next scene. november 6, 1986. the world is ending, will byers is living in mike wheeler's bedroom, and one night changes everything.

for the first time, the dream of mike's death comes back in full clarity, and will relives it again. the feeling of desperation and of loss and of love. watching the light fade from mike's eyes and seeing him take his final breath. the dragon's promise to him—that mike would return and that will's job was to simply wait and be ready for him when he arrives. saying goodbye to mike, watching his body disappear in a boat across the lake, further and further from will's view until—

will wakes up with a gasp. he can't see it, but his eyes are glowing a bright, familiar golden. the lights mike's bedroom all shine brighter than they ever have before, and then, they explode.

"shit!" will hears, because mike's awake too. he woke up barely a minute before will did, and he's kneeling down next to will, staring at him with shock in his eyes.

the two of them sit there in silence for moments that feel like an eternity, shattered glass surrounding them, and the moonlight streaming through the window. the memories are back, coming to will all at once. the floodgates have opened, and will remembers. he remembers.

and judging by the look on mike's face, he remembers too.

they move in perfect unison together, and they just embrace. because they both know. they both remember. and the two of them just sit there, and they cry together, because they're will byers and mike wheeler right now, but they've been will and mike for years and years and years before that. and they're together again, and the world is huge and overwhelming, but for just a moment, the only thing that matters is that they're together again.

second to last scene - the next morning. mike's room is now repaired, thanks to will's magic. they're sitting on mike's bed together, knees knocking against each other, shoulders pressed against one another. they have so, so much history together, and how do they even begin to try and fully understand all of it? plus, there are still so many things that will never got to tell mike, and mike, he's a bit hurt that will never shared those things in their first life, but he thinks he understands. he understands why will had to hide those parts from him. but he wishes will didn't have to.

will's eyes flicker to the painting he'd made for mike, now hanging on his wall. ironic, huh, that he would paint himself as a cleric, a wizard... and mike as the knight leading the charge. destiny must think it's funny. he's been carrying the weight of his lie with him since march of this year, and now, he sees how much the weight of his lies hurt mike when they were alive the first time. how he could've saved them both so much grief, and how maybe if he had opened up to mike and trusted him... things could've been different.

this situation... it's not quite the same, but the fear feels the same. it's the same for will, feeling like he has to hide a part of himself from mike, out of fear of rejection, out of a fear of losing mike, out of knowing society doesn't accept people like him.

but this is his second chance, right? how many people get a chance to make amends like this? and will is older now, and he's wiser too. he remembers the 1,500 years he was alone, and in just one night, he's changed. he's not quite the young, scared 15 year old that he was. he is, but he isn't. he's also someone who has lived and watched people die and who has waited and who knows how much he's always loved mike.

so, will chooses to be honest with mike. they talk about the magic first and the lies there, but it's a segue into the conversation about the painting. mike knows that it wasn't from el. but he thinks that will just lied to be a good friend. they fought about it, and in the end, they left it be—just a point of contention and tension in the same way the rain fight was.

will tells him everything—the true intention behind the painting. how he, will byers, has always admired mike wheeler and how mike's his best friend and how the feelings just developed into something more. but also how he, will, fell in love with mike... a long, long time ago. how he knew it, but also knew they'd never be able to be together. how he'd accepted that his place was simply at mike's side, protecting him and guiding him as best as he could. how he was content with that, but deep down also always dreamed of something more when they were alive together. how his years without mike only solidified the fact that will loves mike truly, deeply, fully, and how he plans to be here for mike, in whatever way that looks like and whatever way makes mike happy.

it gets quiet in the room. and mike looks a little stunned at first, still trying to take in all of will's words. patience, though, is something will has learned over his life, and he gently tells mike that he doesn't have to say anything right now. that mike can take the time to think about it too—

and mike cuts him off by kissing him.

it's short and desperate but also hesitant and a little fearful. mike pulls away, his eyes wide, and he looks young. they're both still young, even though they've had entire lives as adults (and then some more for will lol). and he quietly admits that he, mike wheeler, has been so confused recently. because he's been told his whole life that boys... aren't supposed to love other boys like that. that he shouldn't have these feelings for his best friend, so he's been hiding and running from this part of himself—the part that does have feelings for his best friend, will byers.

but also, that he, mike, the one who knew will long ago had fallen just as deeply in love with him while they were together. it was never an option to love will like this. mike always had his life planned out and written for him—the knight, the prince, the king. he had to have an heir. he had to rule their kingdom. he couldn't be with will.

but god, he could keep will close. maybe it was selfish to keep him so close while knowing he loved will as something more than they could ever be, but then again, mike thinks he's always been a little selfish. and he could swallow back that lump in his throat that formed every time will smiled at him or made a teasing joke or did anything really, because every moment with will made mike feel like he was falling more and more in love.

he almost told will, that day... when he died. he almost said that—instead of the "thank you" he gave will instead. but something stopped him. a feeling that... their story wasn't over yet. that a better time would come to share those words with will.

and so, mike looks will in the eye and in the softest, most gentle voice, he confesses his love for will.

the two of them kiss again. will's magic makes the lights glow again, and mike laughs, making some comment that this is going to take some getting used to. will points out that it's been a good 15 years since he's used his magic... so it's gonna take some getting used to for him as well.

it becomes clear to both of them that they were brought back together for a reason—and that reason has to do with the upside down and with henry. henry's powers, like el, are magic based, and so now, the playing field is leveled with will's magic. hell, the scales have tipped in their favor because of will's magic. this is their destiny. this is how they're going to save the world. and you see a moment of weariness from will, who recognizes this, and recognizes the burden they're sharing.

mike gently pulls him close, pressing a kiss to will's forehead, and he just tells will that they can figure all of this out later. destiny's waited this long, right? they can be selfish. they can just be together.

and so, the scene just ends with them sitting there, arms wrapped around each other, and sitting in peaceful silence. and nothing else matters other than the fact that they're together.

the final little part would be a section to mirror the opening part, talking about destiny. how these two were brought together and born to find each other. how destiny's tapestry is still being woven and how choices will impact that. and how the tale isn't over yet, but that there's hope in the ending of this story, because will and mike are together once more.

pHEW did i just outline this whole fic in your ask? yep. that's the merlin/byler au that i was thinking of this morning. i have some slight thoughts on how i could expand the world (making other characters line up/parallel other merlin characters and being reincarnated versions of their past lives), but idk i haven't given too much thought to that and probably wouldn't go as far as to write that! but this oneshot... yeah, definitely adding it to my list lol.

[house-of-laminations]

Hi, hello, um, big fan here! I just, I love everything you’ve written and I just, I would love to know your thoughts on Lilith. I think about her constantly and I usually HC my MC thinks about her and kind of tries to talk to her. I feel like that one convo with her just, I don’t know, it makes me wish we could still talk to her. She showed us stuff, she saved us!! I just , I don’t know, I super want to read your thoughts on her.

💛 hello!

I do indeed have Thoughts™ on Lilith! Many of them! Let's see if I can string them together into some coherency - apologies in advance if this comes out essay-like...

In terms of their personal connection, I wrote a little bit here about Lilith's power in relation to MC but a tl;dr of it is that I believe that Lilith's power, her soul for lack of a better word, is MC's soul. However, growing up physically, mentally, and emotionally as a human meant that they don't have the knowledge or capability to utilize any of that power. It's only upon making contact with Lilith's grimoire - her memories - that MC gains the ability to be able to comprehend and access those abilities and memories. The way I see that manifesting beyond just 'sheer power' is deja vu. They experience new places that feel familiar, they remember conversations they've never had. Even their relationships are (comparatively) quick to spark with immortals who have been stuck in this emotional rut for presumably millennia.

I'm not sure if I believe there's enough of Lilith left to have full conversations with but I do think their connection goes deeper than just being able to speak to one another. Lilith's guidance is present in MC's choices and circumstances almost right from the get-go.

Lilith was a powerful angel who willingly ventured into the human world, spurred mostly by her brother's interest and curiosity. There, she fell for a human which ultimately lead to a schism in heaven and her brothers falling. It widened the divide between the three realms and ended in her 'death'. Her happy ending was to live out her days as a human, and after dying her mortal death she continued to watch over her brothers.

MC, meanwhile, was an ordinary human by all rights (canonically at least, leaving behind any personal headcanons). They're forcefully drawn into a realm beyond their own thanks to the curiosity of someone much, much stronger than them. They're surrounded by beings that at any point could consume them - mind, body, and soul. Nevertheless not only does MC's actions and presence ultimately lead to mending the relationships between the brothers, it also begins to bridge the gap between all three realms.

Lilith's love broke the world, but MC's love will build it (kudos to @demonfamilytherapist for that bombass line). There's a line towards the end of S3 (or so I'm told) in which [spoilers] Diavolo is working his hardest in order to allow MC to live with them permanently in devildom as the spouse of a demon lord/prince. Their stories are mirrors of one another.

The symmetry between their lives is something that could be coincidence, could be fate, or could just be an old tattered soul trying to learn from its mistakes. What Lilith helped break, MC is slowly helping to mend.

Sometimes MC feels a sense of comfort, of love and safety. It's not from their lover/s... but rather, from within. This is a contentment beyond mere self confidence. It's a soul who loves itself and who its become, who is grateful for the journey and excited for what's next.

There you go! My own personal thoughts and headcanons about the relationship between Lilith and MC... I'm a sucker for tragedy and angst at heart so I tend to lean away from actual conversations between the two - but that doesn't mean there's nothing between them. I hope this satisfies 💛

[galadhremmin]

I think it's interesting the Arwen post garnered such strong reactions (like sending me an anon ask about it--really?) because a lot of the responses to it are actually not things I was saying at all.

I'm not saying, for example, that mortality is a bad thing in Tolkien's work, though there actually is some ambivalence about it if you look beyond Lotr!

What I was doing was looking at one single character insofar she actually appears in the text. I am not interested (when doing that) in arguments about what Tolkien's 'general message' is supposed to be according to you, your feelings/headcanons about her and her marriage, etc. As for the idea that there was no one else important enough she could marry-- please. Reborn Glorfindel was right there. As was Gildor Inglorion, and presumably a number of other high-born Exiles not named in the tale. And no, she was not 'too old' to marry-- her own parents did not marry young. And if you think she has too much of an age difference with Legolas but not with Aragorn-- I don't know what to tell you. As for marrying Aragorn because she 'needs a purpose' -please consider the implications of saying that about a female character.

Arwen is barely a character at all, but we do get some dialogue and the other characters reactions to/descriptions of her. There is nothing beyond her looks that makes her like Lúthien. Her looks and the fact that she dies; but not even her death, if you pay attention to the text, which is anything but wholly voluntary in the end (like Lúthien's was).

I think going with Arwen = Lúthien 2.0 does her character a disservice-- and Tolkien as a writer, because just how much she is unlike Lúthien is right there in the text.

It is in fact very fitting that A/A are only trying to echo some of the glory of long ago and fall short. The LoTR takes place in the crumbling ruins of a greater past. Even Sauron was more, once. And of course even when he was more he was only a servant of Morgoth. The time of the great heroes and gods is over. Grey is the colour of good. Twilight-- the last setting of the sun --the fading time of the elves, from which she turns away to be Aragorn's queen, if only for a short while.

Lúthien on the other hand lives in the First Age, the time of legends-- and is larger than life even then. Too large to be contained in the story in which she lives, really. She does the impossible repeatedly. She is not a relatable character exactly; more like a mythological figure, half-divine, living outside of the rules set for everyone else, her love instant and all-consuming; without nuance or regret.

Arwen is a much more understandable character, even from the few lines we get. She finally falls for Aragorn when he appears as more than he will ever be, and promises to be more than he is right then at least. Her choice is for the idea of greatness more than just who Aragorn is as a person; both fall for the other when they imagine both themselves and the other as more than they actually are in the text, or more precisely; when they see an echo of a greater past in each other.

I'm not saying their marriage was an unhappy one. That seems unlikely from the text too. They certainly seem to love each other; it probably helps they were raised by the same person. Arwen got to be queen, and Aragorn loved her a lot. But in the text it was not a choice motivated by simple love for the actual person- on both sides.

Arwen's fear at the end is obvious. To a degree that the dying Aragorn proposes she sail after all-- to which she replies she can't. The way is barred to her now, as much as it was to her Númenorean relatives, simple as that.

I don't think Arwen can or should serve as some sort of example of how mortality is just as good as immortality. That's just not what The Tale is about. Elrond's grief and worry about Arwen have a prominent place in it, and it seems justified by how it ends. So does Arwen's own eventual doubt of death as a gift and sudden understanding of the Númenoreans.

And Arwen is not a very good example of a mortal.

Aragorn is! If you want your representation of acceptance of mortality and death as a gift in this story look no further. He's right there. It doesn't have to be a woman, you know. Elros is another good example. So is Earendil, in fact! He wanted to be mortal.

Arwen, on the other hand, is almost 3000 years old, has lived her entire life so far (for a sense of scale-- 2700 years ago is around the mythological founding of Rome) surrounded by Elvish culture. She is not human. She has no idea what it is like to be human, as we see her find out at the end of the tale, and how could she?

She is not Lúthien either, though everyone has always compared her on the shallow basis of her looks (which, well-- a woman reduced to her looks? Hm), to a point that she eventually seem to go along with it. She is not shape-shifting, fearless, half-divine ancestress.

Arwen's personality in the Tale is not much. But it is not Lúthien 2.0. And she shouldn't have to serve as an example of the value of choosing mortality-- we have Elros, Earendil and Lúthien for that, if you must.

A lot of the story is about (mistakes about) identity, gaps of understanding, and incomplete echoes of the past.

Her more complicated motivations, conflicted feelings and horrible slow, lonely death at the end make for a much more interesting story than a simple repeat of the pattern, and a more interesting character too.

[ask-lu-wild]

Ask-LU-Wild

Hello and welcome to the show! Ask-LU-Wild (ALUW) is a blog that consists of primarily comics and text posts where you get to ask the Hero of the Wilds the questions you've been dying to know!

Please remember that as of the "Fairies, We Shrank the Wild" (previously "a not-so-wild child") arc, Wild uses the pronouns They/Them. They still identify as a boy currently. This is subject to change in the future.

My name is Author. I'm 22, and my pronouns are Vi/Viol, as in Violet.

Ask-LU-Wild Started out as a fanfiction of Linked Universe by Jojo, but the story and characters are vastly different. As of 14 April 2022, despite the name of the blog staying the same, its association with Linked Universe is somewhat distant.

CONTENT WARNING: Ask-LU-Wild contains scenes that are highly graphic in the blood, gore, and body horror sense. Viewer discretion advised.

If you would like to still read the blog but still filter specific subjects, please refer to the Trigger Warnings section in "A Link to the Tags". Remember that the more graphic content will be labeled under Nightmare Fuel. Please filter this tag if you feel you need to. Because our main character is low-key immortal, death is not a trigger warning.

Rules

Use the inbox to only interact with the characters. If you would like to ask me, Author, something, please use @author-main.

I'm not a teacher, I'm a storyteller. I can't explain everything down to a science, and I'm learning as I go along. While I do research topics when needed, some of the things I write about are from experience and observation. Please respect and understand that. If there's something you want to help me understand, please use my main blog's inbox.

Even though this blog is no longer that connected to Linked Universe, I would ask that we keep the no NSFW/Linkcest rule. Though the Links in ALUW may be very affectionate/loving to each other, it's all platonic. That being said, I don't have a problem with a little raunchy humor every now and again. If jokes or light talk about sex bothers you, it's not constant, but reader discretion is advised anyway. Know that this isn't an attack on people who enjoy NSFW and Linkcest content, it's just that I'd like to keep the found family trope on this blog, and just... not deal with NSFW here.

Please keep personal experiences to a minimum, especially if they're heavy. They've started throwing me off and I want to keep the heavy stuff from the audience to a minimum.

If the story is getting a bit too rough for you, please leave, or take a break at the least. Your mental health is important. However, if something upsets you, please don't attack me or the story because of that. I don't know you. I don't know what you don't like, nor what hurts you. I am not responsible for you. You are your own responsibility. Please remember that.

And on that note, I think it's important for me to say that tagging triggers aren't mandatory. I didn't tag them because I'm obligated to. I have no obligation to do anything, not even make this blog. Tagging is a courtesy.

Please respect my headcanons, ships, design choices, character choices, etc. I respect all of your ideas for Linked Universe/LoZ and I request the same respect for ALUW.

I want to make note that no specific mental illnesses are chosen for these characters, except for the obvious PTSD, and occasionally depression. Things like insomnia or paranoia have been named, and symptoms of mental illness are present and touched upon.

I'm in the process of figuring out all of the Zelda games to write this story. If I miss something, bear with me, please. I don't think my versions of Four and Wind will have gone through Four Swords Adventures and Spirit Tracks.

As of this point, no manga. However, there is a potential that this rule might be retracted.

You can complement the Links, but do not ask to kiss them or act in a lewd way, especially the minor Links and other characters (Wild, Four, and Wind). Sex jokes are allowed but make sure they aren't too graphic and maybe only say those jokes around adult characters.

Links below

A Link to the Tags: all commonly-used tags in ALUW. This includes trigger warnings, character tags, and arc tags.

Note: "A not-so-wild child" has been renamed to "Fairies we Shrank the Wild"

Author-Main: My main blog. A lot of stuff happens there. I don't tag spoiler content though, so watch out for that.

Angster's Paradise Discord: A discord run by @hiddenteddy and me.

Wild's Sheikah Slate Discord: A discord mainly meant for ALUW updates and stuff. It's only run by myself.

Ko-fi: I don't get paid for this blog, obviously. But as a broke college graduate, I would appreciate it if you donated. I do commissions and own a shop too. So I recommend following.

Youtube: Occassional speedpaints.

[lepusrufus]

To bargain for immortality pt.6 END

There were little things, really, that ended up putting her doubts and theories to rest. Nicole hadn't been an active person since she was five, so the occasional mild fatigue didn't stand out from her normal routine. The headaches that came and went or the tiredness that accompanied nights when she didn't get enough sleep were simply chucked to her body adjusting to its newfound immortality. Sometimes it takes longer for the Cadou to fully settle in, Esteria had reassured her, talking from personal experience as her own mutation took close to two years to be done changing her body.

All the doubt was wiped from her mind when she woke up one evening, the day after another particularly unpleasant experiment run with Miranda, with a splitting headache. It soon turned downright nauseating and hasty steps took her to the bathroom connected to Cassandra's bedchambers, where she all but doubled over, as much as her position leaning on the sink allowed.

Her initial plan was to simply splash some cold water on her face, but that soon went out the window when her throat and mouth were invaded by the familiar sensation of thick blood coming and pouring out. The white porcelain got stained in dark crimson as her heart seemed to beat painfully against her ribcage, making a small whimper escape blood stained lips. This experience in and of itself was not unfamiliar by now, but her own body apparently taking offence to simply existing was a new and unwelcomed development. An attempt to take a deep breath was made, but that only seemed counterproductive as it sent a stinging ache through her chest, so she settled for holding her breath until the pain subsided. A few shuddering intakes of the oxygen her body seemed to scream for later, the room and her reflection finally seemed to stop spinning.

Her eyes landed on the crimson mess in the sink and she let out an exhausted sigh, but before it could be cleaned, the bathroom door that she had left ajar creaked open.

"Heyy- ooo that looks bad," Daniela's voice came from her side, tone as over the top as always with the grimace that pulled at her features.

"Oh this? What do you mean, just a normal Thursday evening," Nicole replied, voice dripping with sarcasm and hands still shaking on the faucet when she turned on the water.

The other redhead didn't seem phased, presumably being Bela and Cassandra's sister does render one immune to sarcasm. Instead she shrugged and occupied herself with her sister's collection of perfumes that were placed on an adjacent counter.

Nicole gave her a look through the mirror while trying to splash some water on the remaining blood stains. "Did you… need something?"

"Dumbass number one and two are practicing some sword fighting in the garden. Thought you'd like to see," came the reply complete with an eyebrow wiggle that gained her a playful shove.

"Give me a minute to change," Nicole said, finally pushing herself off the sink when the nausea subsided back to a mild headache and her face was free of crimson trails.

As promised, when they entered the back garden that stood between the castle and its extensive vineyard, the faint clinking of metal against metal could be heard. It raised in volume as they made their way to an area where a few logs had been set on the grass, that made perfect sitting spots around what the sisters reclaimed as their small personal arena dedicated to occasional training. The vine covered statues and bushes with colorful leaves made for a pleasant spot to simply spend time in too, her wife currently dressed in light training gear and sword fighting coming as a big bonus to the beautiful surroundings.

The moment Cassandra's eyes landed briefly on her, a characteristic smirk pulled at her lips, their ashy tone left visible from the choice to skip lipstick for the time being. Their sparring match got cut short by a sudden low swipe at Bela's feet, that knocked her off balance and sent her on the trampled grass underfoot.

"Show off," she grumbled at her younger sister when offered a hand to get up. She took it, but continued to glare daggers at Cassandra as she dusted off her pants.

Not that the middle sister noticed, having turned and came up to her wife for a tender good morning kiss. She let the hand not occupied by the sword's handle rest on Nicole's cheek, eyebrows pulling into a frown upon noticing the tired look in emerald eyes.

"Are you feeling well? You look pale."

"Yeah yeah-"

"Oh just some mild gut-puking in the form of blood all over your sink," Daniela interjected, giving a fake innocent shrug when Nicole turned to glare at her. "You might wanna get a maid to clean it up, she did a shit job of it."

"I did not!" Nicole protested.

"You forgot the underside," Daniela hummed. "That was some mad splatter there."

She was rendered mute as the youngest sister moved to the small fence portion that was turned into an impromptu weapon holder to choose something and take Cassandra's place in another sparring match. Her glare was interrupted when she noticed her wife's worried expression.

"It's fine, just a mild headache now," Nicole sighed as she brought a hand up to interlace their fingers and pull Cassandra with her so they could both sit where Laura and Anita were. "Any chance I'm getting another performance? Since I missed the last one," she then said, a sly smile making its way on her lips.

That got Cassandra to grin, fangs glimmering in the early evening's soft light in a way that anyone else would find downright menacing. "Of course," she answered, eyes momentarily moving to her sisters.

It looked like Bela was winning, despite Daniela choosing her preferred twin swords that she wielded with an odd mix of grace and chaos. A slip past her guard and a hit with the ornate hilt of Bela's sword was what it took to put an end to their match, the youngest sister stumbling forward and breaking into a swarm before she had the chance to fully lose balance and fall face first into the dirt. She reappeared in front of the blonde, tongue stuck out and nose scrunched in an annoyed grimace, complete with a middle finger. If the Dimitrescu sisters had one thing in common, it was that all three of them were the world’s biggest sore losers.

"My turn to kick her ass," Cassandra perked up, picking up her well polished gladius.

Daniela, still miffed about her previous loss, didn't offer her the grace of getting into a proper stance. A flash of flies later, the clanking of metal ringed around them as Cassandra pushed her back.

"We said no swarm!" Bela called out from where she had found a seat on the grass, right in front of Laura.

The youngest rolled her eyes but complied, the buzzing completely dying down in favor of quick swipes and blocks. What Cassandra might've lacked in speed, she more than made up for in an impeccable defense, being near impossible to get near her body even with the apparent advantage of having an extra sword. Their fighting came to a standstill soon enough, with Daniela unable to get near while also being too quick to let any major hit land.

"My ladies."

Alexandria's voice called out from the entrance of their little makeshift arena, distracting Daniela enough for her sister to quickly swipe at her feet not unlike she had previously done to Bela.

The Steward flinched for a second when a long frustrated growl was heard from the youngest, but cleared her throat and did her best to keep up her characteristic poker face as she addressed Nicole. "Mother Miranda's assistant is here for you."

Her face fell, annoyance and dread both bubbling in her chest at having her pleasant day cut short not even two hours after waking up. She got up and exchanged goodbyes with the rest of her family while grabbing Cassandra's free hand in a silent demand to see her to the door.

On their way out, she decided that old jeans and a slightly oversized shirt that had survived her high school days was an attire appropriate enough to being tortured. It should've been concerning how at peace she had become with that idea, at least to any person with a sound mind. She never declared her sanity intact though.

"I'll see you later," she told Cassandra once they were at the heavy doors of the castle's main entrance, a thumb slowly tracing her jaw.

Emma was impatiently waiting for her just outside and blame the slight inherent meanness she had learned to let free since becoming a Dimitrescu, but Nicole took immense pleasure from the woman's uncomfortable grimace when she pulled Cassandra down in a deep kiss that went on for ten seconds too long. Small victories in the face of doom.

---

Nicole choked out a sob that walked the fine line between crying and screaming when the knife that looked way too big for the woman's hands came down at her elbow's joint with a gut wrenching crack.

It felt like Miranda had an unbeatable talent to never disappoint when someone thought she had reached the peak of inhumane with her experiments. The poisons were dreadful as was everything before that. The test on how well she can heal bullet wounds from the previous day had been downright cruel, only stopping after the results that showed how only a bullet through the head can incapacitate her for a while. Today's experiment on regenerating limbs was starting to eat away at Nicole's remaining sanity. It obviously started small, with fingers, but Miranda was always so keen on pushing limits.

She turned on her side with the remaining hand pressed to tear filled eyes and nails digging into skin as she desperately tried to find some sort of distraction from the pain and tingling that felt like static in her veins. Her temples were already throbbing with a headache and her vision was spinning due to the nausea. Miranda and Emma were having some sort of conversation to the side, but it felt distant through the deafening ringing in her ears as she put all her effort into not throwing up due to the sheer shock her body was going through.

The amount of time she laid there sobbing completely evaded her, not bothering to keep a mental track nor raising her head towards the clock mounted on the wall. She just wanted the healing to move and get it over with.

By the time she was mentally prepared to stomach the sight, her hand was already stitching together muscles covering the newly reformed bone, together with the beginnings of skin close to the incision. She tried moving her finger and flinched into a whole body cringe at how utterly wrong it felt.

The door creaking open took her attention away from the unsightly muscles twitching as they got placed together and into their places.

"Lord Heisenberg is here," announced a man, donning a white lab uniform not unlike Emma's.

"Just on time," Miranda perked up, a dangerously gleeful look in her eyes.

She got up, leaving the assistant with the job of timing Nicole's healing as she went to greet Karl. It went on for almost another torturous minute before the tell tale click of the timer and Emma noting it down marked that her arm was once again whole.

"How- how long was that?" Nicole asked, tentatively moving her hand. Good as new, with the exact same mobility function and sensitivity. The only thing missing was the beige nail polish applied just the night prior.

"Five minutes and twenty," the woman replied, not looking up from her paper.

Another few minutes of silence passed, that Nicole spent flexing her fingers. A bit of hot rage coursed through her veins when she noticed her ring finger, the matching band she and Cassandra had having been left on the desk upon entering the lab. At least Miranda had the decency of not slicing her hand off with the ring still on it, but she still wanted it back.

It wasn't long before Miranda came back, motioning for her to follow. "Come," she said, waiting for Nicole to push herself off the hospital bed and onto her feet.

A small burst of dizziness later, she was standing and shaky legs were taking her towards the woman. "Can I get my ring back now?" She did her best to keep the edge out of her tone, too tired to face her wrath.

Miranda simply thought for a moment before waving a dismissive hand at her. "Fine, it won't be in the way anymore."

Nicole wasn't sure if that was good or downright horrifying.

Most of the rooms in the underground maze of corridors were unknown to her. The structure twisting and turning in dizzying patterns that were enough to disorient anyone not familiar with the layout. Not to mention the occasional tunnel that stretched for entirely too long that led to one place or the other from the town above.

Nicole found herself following Miranda through one such unknown area, the corridors new to her but the look not dissimilar to every other part of the underground structure. If it weren't for the numbered plaques on the door, she wouldn't even be able to tell this was a different area than the ones she's seen before.

Miranda pushed open a door and led her inside. It was definitely more spacious than the labs and the space was mostly cleared out save from a few tables lining the walls and some cabinets. The only thing at the center was Lord Heisenberg and a long metal table, leather straps fastened to its sides and a circular saw blade attached to a machine above.

Nicole took a couple stumbling steps back, hips hitting the corner of a table and rattling the papers placed on it. It seemed to peeve Miranda, who grabbed her wrist impatiently.

"Come now, we don't have all day," she said while slowly dragging her towards the table.

With every shaky step, her knees felt like jello under her and her ears started to ring anew with the panic and dread settling like ice in her veins. Her legs finally gave way under her and she fell to her knees with a pathetic sob.

"No please. Please I can't," she said, one hand meekly grabbing at the goddess' lab coat.

Miranda bent down on one knee, brows furrowed in the feign concern that only she could have perfected to such an art. "We have to," she started, voice so soft one could easily believe it belonged to someone else. "We must know the limits of your regenerative abilities. You said it yourself that you want to know them."

She had but not like this. Not like this.

"Then use anesthesia. Please just don't-" she choked out a sob before the end of her phrase. Not that it was going anywhere, it was just a pathetic attempt at bargaining for less suffering.

Surprisingly enough, there were few instances since coming to the Village when she felt truly and utterly terrified. Anxious and afraid? Sure. But not even Lady Dimitrescu hiring her, or Cassandra taking an interest in freaking her out or even getting shot made her feel the dread she was feeling then. She would've rather spent eternity on the cold hard stone under her knees than budge an inch.

Miranda pursed her lips and lifted her chin with one hand, expression like a mother hearing her child make an outrageously unattainable request. "You know that will interfere with the results."

"Then local anesthesia," Nicole suggested, holding onto some kind of feeble hope by a thread.

The goddess seemed to actually consider it for a moment before shaking her head. A hundred meek protests and cries fell past Nicole's lips and on deaf ears as she was pulled up by the wrist and back on track towards the metal table. Miranda was incredibly strong despite her rather short stature, so any attempt at pulling back was completely useless.

Once at the room's center, she pushed Nicole against the table, frowning when she refused to get on. With a sigh, she grabbed her chin once again, putting slightly more force in the gesture. Both a warning and witness to her growing impatience.

"If you keep still it's going to be much less painful," she promised, though the validity behind her words were doubtful.

Though there was something in Miranda's tone that almost demanded to be believed without question. It may have been the inherent authority that came with being almost divine, a goddess in all ways that truly mattered. Or something else entirely, common to every piece of the Megamycete's web, down to the finest and farthest roots.

With a barely visible nod, Nicole pushed herself onto the cold surface of the table. It was far taller than she was so Karl had to spend a few good minutes readjusting the leather straps on the sides until they were in the right positions to wrap tightly around her limbs.

"Uh… sorry kiddo," he said in a barely audible whisper as he fastened a strap around her forehead. "Here," he pressed a folded cloth to her lips, that she bit down on to at least try to not crack any teeth.

He seemed almost as much of an unwilling participant as she was, lips pulled into a tight line under the scruffy mustache. The only one seeming rather gleeful there was Miranda.

The leather was digging painfully into her skin, the belts having been tightened slightly too much to prevent movement. Not to mention the uncomfortable position, with her hands tied above her head and starting to feel numb. Her head also seemed beyond foggy, the shallow breaths she was taking doing a poor job of providing her body with oxygen, to which it protested with a heart painfully beating against her ribcage, almost as if the small parasite that nestled around it was taking offence itself.

Another sob shook her body, deafened out by the metal sound of the circular blade when it was turned on. Thankfully it was clean. At least Nicole hoped as much. And sharp. If she was going through this she prayed that she would at least be granted the mercy of a clean cut as opposed to shredding of skin and muscle with everything underneath.

She shut her eyes when Miranda raised her shirt enough to expose her abdomen and, as the saw forcefully came down, screams were muffled both by the cloth in her mouth and the deafening roar of the saw.

---

The feeble knock on heavy ornate doors was answered by the tall woman positioned on guard duty that night. Nicole did not remember her name and at the moment it was the least of her worries.

She took a handful of shaky steps inside before clearing her throat in an attempt to not let her voice waver. "Cassandra?"

"Out hunting with her sisters and the other ladies," the woman answered promptly.

Nicole simply nodded once and made her way into the castle as the heavy thud of the shutting doors echoed around her. Her movements seemed on autopilot, eyes only focused enough to watch her step as she made her way through the familiar path up to her wife's bedroom. She barely registered passing through the first set of corridors, the paintings and priceless decor she had grown accustomed to every day becoming a background blur.

She felt downright dreadful.

Her ears were still ringing slightly and exhaustion made her limbs feel heavy and aching with every step. The headache from earlier was also back in full swing and throbbing painfully at her temples.

A quick look at a golden clock mounted on the wall in the main hall reminded her that it was near dawn so the rest of her family must be on their way home.

She flinched, a small jump that threatened to throw her off balance, at the heavy footsteps that came behind her. Throwing a look over her shoulder she saw none other than Lady Dimitrescu, her mother in law, making her way under the low arch of one of the doors leading into the spacious room. Thin black eyebrows were pulled into a frown at the sight of the much smaller woman, hunched over and all but shivering, with dark circles under her eyes having taken an almost purplish hue and dried tear streaks on pallid cheeks.

"Oh hi," Nicole greeted with a wry smile. "I thought you were out hunting."

Alcina waved a hand dismissively, eyes still focused on every minuscule shake of her shoulders. "Paperwork had to be taken care of."

At the explanation, Nicole let out an oh and shuffled her weight from one foot to the other, unsure of how to politely book it up the stairs and under the mountain of blankets on Cassandra's bed. There was no escape, it seemed, as a large hand came to gingerly rest on her shoulder, leading her further in and towards one of the plush couches lined in front of the barely lit fireplace. "Come sit," she offered, face softening in a gentle motherly smile.

Nicole just nodded absent mindedly, sitting barely on the edge of the white cushions decorated with a beautiful intricate floral pattern. She passed clammy hands on her jeans, now covered in fine powdery ash from the crystallized remains of the discarded half of her body after she retrieved them following the night's experiments. A disgusted grimace pulled at her lips, deciding then and there that the pants had to be burned as soon as possible.

"How did the tests go?" Alcina asked, taking her attention away from the ruined piece of garment and being met with distant eyes.

"Good," Nicole whispered, but before the word could even be fully out of her mouth a sob shook her entire body, coming out accompanied by choked out gasps as she all but doubled over in an attempt to make herself smaller than she already was.

The Lady's eyes widened at the sudden outpouring of emotion, so uncharacteristic for the woman in the few years she had been part of her family. "Oh child," she whispered, hands resting protectively on small shaking shoulders.

"Did-" Nicole started but interrupted herself with another shuddering gasp. "Did she- do the same thing to-... to you?"

Alcina grimaced, expression unseen by the smaller woman currently curled in on herself in her arms. It had been so long since her infection, the pain caused by her body acclimating to the Cadou a distant memory. Something that would forever remain seared in her mind however was the cruel ice in their goddess' eyes as she ran test after dreadful test, pushing the limits of her body to see how much she can actually heal. It had taken months to finally be content with the results, after her body's defensive response had been mutating and turning into the giant hungry beast she kept carefully at bay from that moment on. Instead of answering, Alcina decided that the better option was to rub her back slowly, not unlike she had done to her own daughters countless times before, to bring some comfort.

"You will get through this," she promised, unwavering conviction in her tone.

---

Date: 20th May 2012

Subject: Nicole [REDACTED] Dimitrescu

Mutation experiments - 5 (Regeneration- 4)

Testing the limits of regenerative abilities - regrowing body parts

Subject can regrow limbs (arm, served from elbow - 5'20'') and regenerate after being cut in half. If the body is cut with a 50/50 ratio, the upper half will regrow the lower half, prioritizing brain activity and the Cadou's placement. If the proportions are different in favour of the lower half, the upper one may still be the one taking priority; results vary. Up to 80% of body mass can be regenerated. If more than that is destroyed (eg. dissolved using acid) subject will presumably crystallize and enter a dormant state like others infected with a Cadou.

The discarded body parts crystallize and disintegrate into a stony/ashy mass.

---

Miranda's enthusiasm seemed to slowly dwindle after a few more experiment runs, the same effects John Abbott's mutations that caused his untimely death coming to knock at Nicole's door every so often.

"You see," the goddess had said the last time she had called Nicole down in the underground labs. "John was missing the healing abilities, which led to his infection slowly corroding away at his body until his death. You can heal, so you won't die, but the negative effects are still present. So try not to get hurt too much too often," she finished, not even sparing her a glance.

And that was the last Nicole had seen of Miranda, at least as far as one on one experiments went. The woman would still pay the castle a visit every so often, sitting down with Alcina for a glass of wine and having the rest of the family joining in on occasion, when their discussions didn't stray too far into matters of their cult.

She was right too. There were days when a migraine would rudely wake her up in the morning, or when her chest seemed to ache to the point where she was sure the parasite that made its home around her beating heart was trying to escape. The Cadou truly was a wretched little thing, constantly at odds with her body's defenses and trying to slowly but surely cause damage to the point of death. But if there's one thing that very same parasite had bestowed upon her was just… being really good at not dying. The healing abilities were in a continuous cycle of repairing any and all internal damage the infection may have caused on a not so good day. Those times had her doubling over the nearest sink, or suitable container if unlucky, a waterfall of blood carrying all the damaged tissue that had been replaced flowing from her lips in crimson rivulets.

A cruel fate, one may think. Not her though, for the knowledge of how her family had helped her through the change was at the forefront of her mind each time she had to sit down due to a burst of dizziness. Cassandra rubbing gentle circles on her back while she was coughing up the clogged blood in her throat grounded her beyond belief. Then, when everything was said and done, there was always something to get back to. A short vacation originally meant for business but that Alcina would always prolong for just a couple days so they could all spend some quality time away from the Village and the cult and Miranda's scrutinizing ever watchful eyes. Or the season's first hunting trip, the genuine glee on her wife's face never growing old to her. Even life's more mundane events, like the weekly movie night that had half the family groaning at Esteria's choice of vampire media. Rinse and repeat, forever under the castle's imposing towers and inside ornate inviting rooms, always warm and welcoming, always feeling like home to her.

If that was the price she had to pay for eternity, then so be it.

---

Subject Name: Nicole Dimitrescu

Cadou Affinity: Favorable

Brain Functions: Normal

Subject can regenerate at an incredibly fast rate, although healing slows down with loss of consciousness. Shows a similar mutation to John Abbott; able to detect illnesses by specific smells. The latter mutation causes the Cadou to have adverse reactions, causing internal damage that is however kept at bay with the regenerative abilities.

An unfit vessel for Eva.