#I'm giving y'all hugs and vibes

[shiningstages]

i shove the parallels into my face lovingly, and also stare at the art progress..................gingerly strokes finger on canvas..................

[dilf-docs]

I'm Happy Where The Devils Are

dbf!joel miller x younger!reader

summary: something something about forbidden things; you never learn, not until the heart you gave returns to you in shreds, bleeding out of love. what's left when you've given all of your heaven away? hell.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (but this time it's sad not hot or both idk), smut, p. in v., virgin!reader, (forced??) creampie, fingering, riding, oral (f. receiving), corruption kink, reader has no daddy issues ++her dad is lovely nor mommy issues like me but a secret third thing, ANGST IN CAPITAL, situationship™, jumping very late to this trend or series IDK hope someone still lurks around this neighbourhood, joel has no kids and is unmarried cause i need him to be BITTER, in short this is very AU canon divergence at max coded

word count: 7,629 words

side note: IF U SAW IT POSTED BEFORE NO U DIDN'T IT WAS A HONEST MISTAKE (clicked publish instead of save draft) OKAY i just searched thru my top 2024 songs by spotify for some inspo and well!!!!!! my yet to be dilf RM's (or joon as i, his wife, loves to call him endearingly) song called heaven popped up! those are the vibes if u wanna give it a listen (PLS DO OKAY HE RANKED TOP KOREAN ALBUM THIS YEAR AND I SEE I'M GETTING OFF THE HOOK BUT HE DESERVES IT RAHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH) and yk i said it's got the miller vibe going on: ANGST™ okay stopping my rambling and letting y'all enjoy (or suffer, idk anymore: as u see, i have a thing for sad complicated old man and suffering myself, because i could've choose any other idea but here goes user dilf-docs the angst whore choosing to suffer again lolz)

part: I / II

It was winter when he first touched you.

Joel Miller: a name you've learned to pronounce like it was spoken on a different language that only you knew.

You've known him for years, a familiar face that stands in corners and only laughs when spoken to, begrundingly, like it's rather a favor than something of his amusement. A guy who would drop by your house until you learned his name like he'd learn the games you'd force him to play. A friend of your dad, who moved back to town and has haunted your house since he stepped a foot inside, tainting the walls with his pine phantom.

Joel's a face you've seen age as much as he's seen you grow out of your pigtails and child-like wonder: and perhaps that's why it's wrong.

It is all so wrong: the way your gaze lingers a bit too long over his tired and bitter expresion, looking for those flickers of softeness that appear when your dad calls him. Old friend, filled with affection, and Joel can't deny the only man who hasn't left his side a smile that he hopes is enough to express what he can't; he's not good with words.

It is all so wrong: how the sheets stick to your body while you scream his name, the sound drowning against your pillow, your body leaking with the secret of an unspoken desire that gets harder to hide with each passing day.

But you can't help it: one day the feelings started to blossom and the admiration left for the crush to harvest until it fully bloomed in your chest. Its petals have asfixiated you ever since.

On winter, you returned to town, like a vice. You always came back for the holidays, a silver of hope that shouldn't exist. You felt it in the air, impregnated with a heartbreak so cutting, it was hard to remember when the winter carried the happiness it should've; all that's left was the cold, harsh feeling.

"Y/n!" your dad embraces your body on a hug as warm as a fireplace, "you're home"

He passes you around the people over, because that's how he always is: joyful, the house full with guests that don't stop at family, but feel as close as those of blood. She came! he loudly yet proudly announces your homecoming, adding small sprinkles of how's college and how smart his little girl is (a nickname he can't let go of, not caring if you were ten then and now just above twenty), not caring if your face is as red as christmas easters.

"You have to stop, dad" you plead with annoyance, but a small smile betrays you, "no one wants to hear how I'm top of my class again, for the millionth time"

"Well, it's my house" he jokes, "so they better get used to it" he then looks around the room, as if he's forgetting something, "ah, someone I must bore with your stories is missing..."

He talks to some more people around and you have to plaster a smile and salute faces you can't recognize, but as on cue, the door flings open, some people near the entrance greeting a face you've yet to see and recognize. Your father gets there first, the smile that spreads across his face making your stomach tie in knots.

"Joel's here!" he delivers with excitement, unaware of how your polite smile falters.

"Joel's here" you repeat, grief laced within your words. Grief of what? You don't know, but you do know a part of you dies the more you look at Joel Miller the way you're not supposed to.

"Come say hi" your father insists, happy in his ignorance, despite your paced walk and stiff demeanor.

And walking your way is him, the man who owns your heart without knowing.

His hair is still as soft as ever, more tints of grey sprinkled through it. Your fingers itch to trace it, so you keep your fists closed until the red nails dig into the tight white flesh. He has more wrinkles, pronounced when his brows furrow at the sight of you.

"I know she's grown a lot, but I hope you still recognize her" your dad says with affection, "isn't she beautiful, my y/n? Grown into a whole lady"

Your heart hammers against your chest as Joel looks you up and down, but there is no emotion across his face.

"It's only been a year, but sure, she has" as stoic as ever, but it's enough to make your nerves wreck. You can't believe how much a simple stare and a few words can get to you.

But you were always like this: weak. Back then, at kindergarten grounds, when making a friend seemed the hardest task. Now, at university, when you wonder if something is wrong with you that always makes you the last option to choose.

Maybe that's why Joel, a man so strong in appearance and character, never liked you: that all those memories were a dream, and he just did it as an extension of his affection for your dad.

You'll never forget that dinner last year, on these same days, when for the first time, both your parents left you alone with Joel, their guest for the night. There was a storm outside, and it was almost funny how the brash wind against the window mimicked your steady heart. You didn't know he was coming, but when you did, you put on your best dress on purpose and dusted a makeup palette a friend gave you, yet he didn't even look your way.

"Do you hate me, Joel?" you asked in a whispered breathe, the cold silence as answer.

It's contradictory, really: your love grows where his hate does. More like hate, it's a disregard so cruel, you can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with you, making you attached to an older man that only seems to have apathy for you. Because one thing is attraction, but other is the deep adoration where you'd die if he were to ask you.

It's your fault, really, for turning his life into folklore. You still remember sitting on your father's lap as he talked your ear off, full of stories that Joel, always by his side, would quietly laugh, the fireplace casting shadow over a man who seemed to overpower the darkness that now is palpable on his gaze. He'd said your dad was making him greater than he really was, pinching your cheeks as he called you sugar, reasoning you were so sweet.

But since last year, something shifted: he started avoiding you, like he resented you.

And you never understood why. So every season you've searched in his eyes for a sign, anything, that can make you go back to that speacial relationship you had, missing him like a little kid. It's been a year, and you feel, if possible, more at loss than before.

Back to now, it's almost midnight, and most of the guests have gone already. You've tried to look cool in the eyes of those who are still there, conversation flowing easily through your eggnog-tinted tongue, yet you know it's all pretend.

"Excuse me" you can't take it anymore, the air suffocating you in anxiousness.

"Where are you going?" questions your mom, stopping you in your tracks before going up the stairs.

You turn around and feign a smile, "Up to my room"

"Are you okay?" your dad asks with worry.

"Yeah, just tired" you lie with ease, and the miles you've driven back it up.

"If you need anything, just tell" she says.

When you fall against the mattress, all the weight settles in. You close your eyes and count to ten, breathing in and breathing out.

The door creaks, so you get up as you open your eyes. "Dad" you start, knowing he's all about giving you talks, "Not now, please-"

"M' not y'r daddy"

You shiver despite the closed windows.

"Joel!" you jump, straightening yourself, "did dad send you?"

He doesn't respond, looking at you through brown warm eyes that reveal nothing. The pit in your stomach grows along awkward silence.

"It's cold outside, isn't it?" you attempt to make conversation, hating the silence. But you fail: he's still here, and regardless of his indifference, he doesn't leave.

Maybe it's the bit of alcohol from before, but you're standing over until you get close to his resting figure against the doorframe, the darkness of your room leaving his face, now barely lit by the light outside in the hallway. Joel's so close you can hear his breathing, and it surprises you the way it drags like a cigarette.

You feel confident for the first time, defiant even, tired of it all, like if it was his fault you loved him. You're sick of him viewing you like a naive kid who knows no better.

"Joel, why are you here?"

The lavender gets under his nose, his skin on fire. He looks at you again, but this time, the brown in his eyes darkens.

"Joel...?" you ask on a shaky breath.

Before you can register, there's warmth against your cheek. His fingers graze your face with an unspoken yearning on his fingertips, as he gently grabs your chin.

Your breath hitches, hand traveling to feel his on your face, to see if it's real and not a dream.

"Joel, what are you doing?"

He backs up, like your touch burns. And then looks at you, as if you're a stone on his shoe: just like all those boys back at the city, who have rejected you. You feel small, like crying.

"M' sorry" and walks out of your room, his scent up your nose. His limping figure walks down the hallway that now looks longer. You don't realize how long you've stared until you hear your father ask downstairs where was he.

It's like he was never there.

It was spring when he first kissed you.

It's funny how you still came back home after such disastrous holidays.

Joel stayed for the rest of the holidays, including Christmas and New Years, and when he hugged you in the living room full of guests, you had to pretend his fingers hadn't hold you differently before. You both lied your way out, and when you left, for the first time, you felt relieved, which is why it took some convincing from your father to make you return for spring.

"You couldn't miss this" he insists, "it's the best time to visit the cabin"

And you have to agree: a small cabin by the lake that your parents bought when they first moved in to town, a place you spent most of your childhood. Your father taught you how to fish there, and ever since, even as you moved away for college, you came back to do so, a tradition kept intact despite the years.

Your mom looks at you from the rear view mirror. "He wouldn't stop talking about it, afraid you wouldn't join us this year" your dad hushes her, embarrased, "oh! Don't act like you didn't"

Truth is, you'd still come: you miss the green tickling your bare feet, the cold water, and the sun kissing your skin as you lay outside. It's a lie you don't wait all year to leave the cold city and embrace the blooming spring.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything, dad" you lay against the car's door, closing your eyes as you smile. He doesn't say anything, yet with the way your mom giggles, you know he probably got teary or something―your sappy old man.

The car stops, the cabin in front of you. You feel like crying, so many memories flooding you. Alright, you're being sappy just like your dad, but it's been a hard semester and you missed your family.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something" he says as you get out. The small denim short rides up as you stretch, your legs numb from the trip.

"Yeah?"

A car honks from behind. You jump, loosing balance as you trip. "Ow!" you land on the grass, embarrasingly so.

"C'mere" you look up, the sun blinding his face. "Lemme help ya', sugar"

The nickname feels like a slap to your face, so you stay there stupid, body stiff as you raise up, Joel's face flooding your field of vision.

"That's what I forgot to tell you" your dad laughs, "or who"

You're not laughing. Joel Miller is here and it's ruines your trip.

"Well, you should've" you took his hand just for the show, because you know your mom is observant. If there was an electric rush, you must've imagined it, just as the way his hands fall to his sides, twitching.

Over the next couple of days, you try to ignore him as much as you can, pretending your spring hasn't changed: fishing, laying down, sun and baths.

"Hey"

Your sun glasses rest on your nose as you raise from your spot, laying on a towel on the grass as you sunbathe.

"What'd want, Joel?" your tone is icy, contrasting the warmer climate.

"M' going to the lake" he mumbles, then stays silent. It's almost as if he's waiting for you to answer.

"Okay?" you lay down again, "have fun"

"Y'r dad said you'd teach me" he raises a fishing row.

You groan in annoyance, getting up from your spot, "why doesn't he do it?"

"Said y'r the best" then coughs, "besides, I think him and your momma needed some time alone..."

You walk past, shoulder brushing against his. You've never been this childish before, but your anger fuels your emotions: rage when you see him and remember how the warm of his touch turned cold in seconds.

You arrive at the small dock, sitting on the rather hot wood. You don't flinch, trying to prove nothing. Joel sits next to you and makes a face at the burning sensation.

"What?" you mock, venom dripping from your tone, "can't handle some heat?"

He just scoffs, passing the row to you with a little more force than necessary.

Your petty revenge is splashing his shirt, damping the cotton with the lake's water.

"I'm sorry" you apologize, feigning an innocent tone, "wanted to freshen up"

"Thought ya could handle the heat" Joel grumbles.

Then he curses under his breath, taking the shirt off and tossing it to the side.

You take in now shirtless body, admiring the strong muscles, broad shoulders and sturdy back. He sits next to you, his belly pushing just above the seam of his shorts. You recoil, almost as if heat radiated off his body, your cheeks burning. Your hands tremble as you hold the row, and it takes every strength of you to not succumb to the dangerous view; it's all too tempting.

"Y'r gonna teach me or what?" he breaks your train of thoughts, his voice so low, as if you were a little animal he was trying not to scare off, "just gonna stare? Ain't y'r daddy taught ya some manners?"

A current shoots through your body and looses itself in the middle of your legs.

You divert your gaze, ashamed. "Don't know what you're talking about"

"Liar" but it's so soft, it sounds more like an observation than an accusation.

"Drop it, Joel" you focus on the water but you know your mind is elsewhere.

"Sugar..."

You feel like throwing up. Why after ignoring you is he calling you like he used to? When he was your favorite person in the world and you were his. He used to hold you close, but now acts like your touch is poisoned. Joel confuses you too much; he's got you feeling like screaming at the sky.

"I said drop it, Joel" you seethe, "you may be old, but you're not deaf"

"And you may be young" his fingers remove the glasses from your face, your wary eyes in exhibit, "but y'r too bold"

They stay there, on your face, his rough fingertips touching your soft sun-kissed skin.

You don't know why you do it, but you do.

You get up, your legs on his face. Until then, you don't realize how close you two were.

"I'm not bold, Joel" you whisper, "I'm scared"

And then you jump.

The world reduces to a blur, body as light as a feather. The sensation of falling is familiar and you don't know why.

It's barely a second, like a blink.

The cold water hitting your body brings you back to reality.

You can't see, it's all dark. But you feel free: you may be underwater, but over him.

You feel like you got the upper hand, but then the water starts moving and a huge splash next to you makes you look back.

Joel jumped too.

"What are you doing?!" you shout.

What are you doing to me? What do you want from me? What will you do to me?

"Takin' a splash" he answers, like it's obvious.

"You know what I meant" your tone is rather spiteful.

"And you had'a teach me" he's again in front of you, barely inches away, "so I guess we're both dissapointed we didn't get what we wanted"

There's water dripping from his hair, falling to his face. Water drops adorn his eyelashes, warm eyes deeper than ever, and you feel like drowning even as your body floats.

"And what do you want?" you challenge, the question implying only so much.

His lips clash into yours, hungry like a wolf. Your hands immediately grip his neck for support as his tongue forcefully gets inside of you, water droplets filling your taste buds. You gasp for air, all of your body pressed against his.

"That answer y'r question?" tone defiant, as if he's also a player on this game that's just started.

You just don't know yet how much you've got to loose.

It was summer when he became yours.

You'd never anticipated coming back home as much as now.

The lingering feeling of his scruffy beard against yours, back pressed against the walls of the shed at midnight while he devoured your lips in a hungry kiss has stayed with you since you left the cabin, trapped in the salt air. Now you're coming back for more, butterflies in the low of your belly as you remember his words:

"When y'get back, I'll have ya' a surprise"

You park at your house, searching for the keys under the rug, but they aren't there. You knock to no answer, so you call your dad and mom, only for both of the calls to go directly to voicemail. Yes, you came a day earlier than planned, but your parents are always home the week you arrive, so something must be going on.

Before you worry, a voice behind you says:

"Ain't nobody inside. Y'r folks went out"

It's Joel, looking as good as the last day you saw him. Just to taste him again, you were complaint on every single of his requirements, one being no contact. He claimed he didn't want to distract you back at college, and you didn't ask any more questions, afraid you'd press a wrong button and loose what felt like a dream.

"Really?" you walk out of your porch to where he is, resisting the urge to kiss him in the middle of your neighbourhood's street.

"Hmh" he nods, "said they ain't comin' back soon"

"They told you so?" you question, "why do I feel you had something to do with it?"

"Ain't do shit" he crosses his arms, the t-shirt sleeves making his arm muscles more prominent. He then coughs, "just recommended y'r dad a nice restaurant outside town. Maybe they'll be later than night, traffic is kinda packed at late"

You smile, "Joel?"

He doesn't look at you, "yes?"

You fail to suppress a giggle, "did you just get rid of my parents?"

"No" he answers, stern. "Now" he looks around, all doors closed, "why don't 'cha come inside? Sun is hittin' hard"

He's a terrible liar.

As soon as you enter his house, you can't believe you've never been there before, visits usually in your house.

It's exactly what you expected: a simple and sober decoration that hides a welcoming feeling somewhere. There's something else you notice: the lack of pictures.

"Make yourself comfortable" he says, coughing, looking akward all of a sudden. You want to laugh and coo his now insecure demeanor, shy in your present. If he seemed sure before, he doesn't anymore. "I''ll get ya' some water"

"Joel?" your voice comes out low, equalling a purr. His cock twitches in his pants at the way you call him.

"Yes?" he swallows, adam's apple bobbing.

"I hope you didn't bring me into your house just for a glass" then you sit on the couch, the small short you're wearing riding up your thighs. "Besides, I'm not thirsty"

He doesn't move, almost as if he's lost the ability to react; in a trance.

"What do you want?" voice deep, like he'd give you anything you ask.

"Have you forgot already, old man?" you quip. "You promised me something" even if your voice is steady, your fingers tremble when you start un-buttoning your shirt, "and I'm waiting for it"

If he could drool like a dog, he would. He slowly gets closer to you, until he's towering over your sitting figure.

"Ya' think it's funny tempting me like that, sugar? Playing with an old fuck as me like that?"

You whimper, resolve melting quickly. "N-no" you feel ashamed, hand ready to button yourself again until his hand grabs yours, stopping you from doing so.

"I'm sorry, sugar" he raises your body swiftly, making you stand up. "Actions have consequences, and I'm gonna teach ya' some"

When his lips land on yours, you feel you've reached heaven again. His mouth easily know your roads, traveling to every spot he can to deepen the kiss. He eats you out like he's starved, sweat starting to pool in your foreheads. He grabs you by the waist, pulling your closer if possible, your chest clashing against his pecs. His heart hammers against you, and that's all you hear aside your raggedy breaths and famished clashing. You grab his hair again, feeling the soft texture under your fingers. Joel moans against your lips when you bite his, something a friend told you to do, and it's proven to work.

"Where'd you learn that, huh?" you taste like strawberries, the proof on his now coated shiny lips and your disheveled gloss. His grip turns stronger, "thought ya' were innocent, little vixen"

"I still am" you avoid his gaze, and even if his hold falters, when you look again into his eyes, there's a flame burning in them. "But I want you to have it, Joel"

"Sugar-" starts, condescending.

"Don't" you immediatly cut him off. "I'm an adult, I know what I want"

"I just want ya' to be sure" but his cock is already hard, "don't want ya' to regret it"

"I could never regret you, Joel" you whisper.

He picks up your body, that despite the years, is still as strong as ever. He goes up the stairs, looking at you so lovingly, you feel like anything is possible.

Maybe this is how it feels like.

He softly drops you onto the mattress, that dips under your weight. You place yourself against the bed head, and when Joel gets in, it creaks.

"I'm gonna make ya' feel so good, sugar. I promise" he slurs, "Now be a good girl and open up for me"

Your part your legs, and he's taking down your shorts until your lingerine is exposed. With wandering fingers, he traces your inner thights, delighted at the way you squirm under his touch. He then travels to your pussy, the clothe the only thing separating him from your bare cunt.

"Has anyone eat ya' down here before?" he can smell your arousal, seeing the wet spot in the middle of your panties. He's salivating at the fresh meal. You deny, embarrased, but he seems content at that, "those dumb college boys haven't treated you right? Then lemme show y'how a real man's supposed to eat ya'"

He strips you off your panties, landing somewhere on the floor. You shudder at the sudden breeze on your bare core.

"Already drippin' for me?" he softly laughs, "we ain't even started"

He dives down, the rough of his facial hair sending tickles through your body. He gives a small lick at first, as if testing. When you let out a small moan, he feels invencible. He keeps the ministrations going, more cute sounds escaping your lips. He wants to hear more of them, addicted to the sound, heat pooling when he remembers he's the one causing them.

"Liking it, sugar?" he stops to ask, his voice provoking more vibrations that hit your core in a pleasant way.

"D-don't stop" you plead in the middle of a whine.

He eats you like a madman. Slurping and sloshing sounds bounce off the walls, your hands gripping his greying locks tightly as his face pushes further into your puffy heat, sucking on the sensitive clit. With his filthy mouth, he takes on of the lips on his mouth, robbing a loud groan out of you.

"Your pussy, God" his breath fans against it, "tastes so good, sugar, sweet like you" he licks more, making it get wetter. You didn't know you had that in you, nothing compared to when you tried to touch yourself back at your dorm, too ashamed to try anything else.

He groans against your heat, sending another wave of pleasure through your body.

He then gets up, showing you his thick digits like one shows something new to a baby, "guess what?" you have no idea, and your innocent doe eye'd gaze makes him squirm at the thought of being the first to touch untainted territories (in many ways).

"M' gonna finger you baby, okay? I promise's gonna feel good" Joel assures as he slowly inserts one of his fingers. You arch your back as you felt his fingers in your warm walls. He then puts another, thick fingers in and out of your pussy, your arousal dripping down his wrist. You squirm and whine, thighs shaking at the intensity of the pleasure he was giving you. There's a weird tension happening down there. "J-Joel" you pant, "I feel-" 

"Let it go, sugar" he doesn't stop, "I'm here for ya' and y'r sweet cunt"

Liquid soon gushes out. "Fuck" he curses. You shy away and looking everywhere but his eyes. 

"Feels good?" you nodded incoherently, "wanna feel even better?"

He gets rid of his pants, the silhoutte hard under his underwear. You gulp, afraid you might not take it.

"Joel..." you call his name, hesitant. Fuck, he's so horny he could care less if he's too big for your first.

"We'll go slow" he leans forward to kiss your forehead, "I know'll take it"

"O-okay" you're still not sure and a bit afraid, but you want him, so you surrender to him.

You feel something heavy go inside your folds. You look down to see his enormous cock sliding in between your tight walls, the skin glistening in your slick,round tip leaking with his precum.

"Tell me" he's soft on you, despite what you're doing, "I'll stop if it hurts"

It does. It burns: how your cunt tries to adapt to his girth, stretching in a painful but delicious feeling.

"N-no" your voice comes out strained, drops of blood falling into the sheets, "keep going"

"Such a greedy thing are ya'?" Joel laughs, truly laughs, the rich sound coming deep from his chest, "what would daddy say?"

"Shut up" you bite, holding onto his shoulders for stability. Please, don't let me fall.

Half way in, he pulls out before diving back in, helping you adjust to his size slowly. Your eyes are trained on the way his cock disappears inside your leaking pussy.

"Should'I keep goin'?" he asks.

"K-keep going" you say softly, and with that, he gently starts inching into you.

"Good girl" he coos.

His cock stretches out your virgin hole perfectly, like it was meant for him. He feels himself melting at the sight of you, something to worry about later. Not now, when your breath hitches as he fills you up. Your cunt fit snug around his length, like you were made for him.

Joel drops his head on your shoulder as he fully entered you, tired, his energy not as much as when he was young. Beads of summer sweat shimmer in your bodies, as not only that but the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his dick make you warm.

Joel takes in a moment to see the mess he's made of you: parted lips, shut eyes, nails digging on his neck. You were deep in pleasure: because of him. His dick twitches at that, and inside of you, it makes you whimper.

"M' gonna start movin', 'kay? Tell me if it's too much"

His weight presses over your body before starting to pull out and push back in. The thrusts start slow, soon picking up a rhytmic pace. Joel grips your hips with his rough big hands, to then start fucking into you.

"Mhm" you whine.

"Mhm, what? Use your words, sugar"

"I-it feels so good, Joel" despite the pain, despite the doubts, the haze is so envolving, he's made of you a moaning mess, drunk in pleasure; the feeling of him inside of you has you seeing stars.

"Y-you feel good too, baby" he pants, your pussy gushing at each thrust. He starts going harder, making you scream.

"Who you belong to, sugar?" his hot breath pours in your ear, "say it"

"You, Joel" you whisper the answer like a sacred oath, "Just you. I'm all yours"

Before you can say anything else, his dick touches a spot within you. Such a sweet spot, that has you moaning and feeling something unlike anything you've experienced before: it washes over you as you clamp down on him. You hear yourself cry, voice barely recognizable. Your vision goes blurry, then mind blank.

Joel groans with your pretty cries of pleasure, watching the way your cunt milks his cock, drooling with your juice.

"Such a nice girl for me, sugar. Did so well" he whispers, and a dark tought crosses his mind. He feels dirty, taking advantage of your age and naivety, your figure still half-gone, "think you want me, all of me?"

You nod, still out of your mind, and before you can process the real meaning of his words, hot stripes of his seed plaster your walls, coating each inch of you. Joel presses his lips into yours to shut your moans, kissing you hard.

"You good?" you can only nod, still in shock, the events dawning over you. "Don't worry, I'll buy ya' a pill before your folks come back"

The sun shines outside; there's still time. You just wonder how much.

It was autumn when he said I love you.

Yellow and orange leaves fall in the roads not taken as you've fallen for Joel.

Ever since summer, you've been waiting for the next time to see him: sleeping with him being the last thought, touching yourself to his voice on your mind, drawing hearts in the bylines of your notes. His figure, first a dream, then a fleeting hope and now a high you need to feel once again, because you can't let go of the way he fucked you, your cries of pleasure, how your walls stretched for him and the way he held you that afternoon and the next nights you escaped your house, crossing the street under the moonlight, hiding as a criminal.

But you'd do anything to feel him, his heart beating against your chest like it was yours to bear. You need to see him, so you're doing the most stupid choice of your life.

There's a pause after you knock, and then Joel opens his door.

"Sugar!" he looks surprised, then angry and finally scared. "The fuck you doin' here? Ain't you supposed to come 'til winter?"

"I couldn't wait" you whine in desperation, clinging onto him like a koala. You'd searched for something, anything, that smelled like him back at the city, but even his flannel shirt you'd stolen had started to loose its smell.

He looks around, "do your-"

"No" you pause, "they don't know I'm here"

He curses under his breath, realizing just how much you're deep in this. He's fucked: fucked because he'll comply even if he knows this has to stop.

"I have the keys" you pick the dirt under your nails, a nervous habit of yours, "for the cabin"

Joel remembers last spring, how he ate you inside the walls of the shed, wishing for more. More came the next summer, and now you're hear again, looking at with with that look he hates: like you'd burn the world just to keep him warm.

"How'd you do that?"

"Took them last summer" you reveal your plan all along, "just in case" yet you had already made your mind before leaving town.

"Damn it, sugar" he's speechless, "you're fucking crazy"

You giggle despite the uneasiness creeping up, "just for you, Joel"

He takes you to the cabin on his car, yours already there. And you'd walked to his house? You have indeed, lost your mind.

"What're we supposed to do?" he thinks out loud.

You groan, "I don't know, Joel. But I didn't drive miles just for you to stand there"

He can't lie and say he hasn't thought about you: your lashes, soft when closed; the way his room still smelled like you even after two weeks of your parting, or how the sun seemed to highlight all your perfect spots. He even thinks of you on his bathroom while he grabs his dick, fucking himself to the memorized song of your moans and uneven breaths as he pulled in and out of you.

"Then get inside" he's demanding, and your panties wet at the tone and the voice you missed so much, "it's cold out'ere"

As soon as you close the door, he's grabbing your face with force, that it almost seems like two people fighting, not two who missed each other.

"Joel" you mumble, breathless.

"Missed ya' so much, sugar" he confesses against your lips. A trail of saliva hangs; silver of hope. "It was killin' me"

"I missed you too, Joel" you deepen the kiss, tears threatening to spill from the corner of your eyes. "Couldn't stop thinking about you"

"Yeah?" he sits on the living room's couch, creaking under the sudden weight. "Tell me what that pretty head of yours was thinkin'"

"You" in a heartbeat, and you see his gaze go from dark to something else, lurking behind; you're scared to find out what it is.

Joel motions you to come over. You take your shoes and pants off, siting on his lap.

"Yeah-?" his voice falters, "tell me what"

"How our names sound together, how pretty you are..." you wander. "I also thought about you, all of you, inside of me"

"Watch that filthy mout of yours, sugar" he chastises but there's no anger behind his reprimand, "one summer bouncing on my cock an' y'r already a needy slut"

You whine at his words, rubbing yourself against his tight.

"D-don't" he undoes his belt and jeans, leaving only his underwear. Your desperate fingers pull them down, revealing his already pulsating cock, "don't tease this ole' man and just do the real thing"

He lets you use him, his hips rocking forwards despite his creaking bones, your swollen clit dragging against his pelvis. He sees your face, how you bite your lip as you test your needs, fucking yourself while you ride him. He lets you because: one, he's old and tired, and two, he wants to see you until he's memorized every small detail of your face. He lets you edge yourself close, crying as you feel it coming, but then he plants his feet onto the wooden floor, his boots making a hollow sound that echoes through the walls, the only other sound aside your cries, and thrusts his length up into you.

You yelp at the sudden sensation of his cock inside of you again.

"Think I'd let ya' have it all?" he mocks, "need to fuck y'r pretty pussy too; gotta have it for myself. Would ya' let me?"

You can't deny him anything.

"Yes, Joel" his hands immediatly grab your hips with a pressure so strong, you fear there'll soon be a bruise there. His cock buries fully within you. The air fills with a strong scent, just your moans and his grunts bouncing off the walls, soon warming up from the cold, the crease of his eyebrow pronounced as he realeases, coating your folds with his cum.

"God, sugar" he sounds a bit embarrased, "look at you, makin' me cum so fast"

But he's too enamoured by the sight of you on top of him, still riding him despite his quick orgasm, so he cups your face gently, the beads of sweat on your forehead falling into his hand. He feels more alive than ever, like his life has just started. Oh, he can picture it: coming home to the smell of your food, kissing the absence of the day off your mouth, to then bend you over the counter. He wants so much more, but he knows it can't be, yet, he's far too gone to even think about turning around.

You lift your hips until his cock slips out of you, using your fingers to bring it back. His cum clings to your folds as you sink back down, hips barely lifting you back up before you keep him buried inside of you. He loves watching you slide down his length, slipping in and out of your puffy cunt as his cock softens. It pushes his cum back into your cunt, sticky over your clit as it drips to your thighs.

You did bring a pill this time, so you don't care of the mess his thick flood of cum that dribbles out of you has made on your pussy and his clothes.

"Fuck" you let out, sex-filled mind speaking up. "Don't ever leave me again"

"I won't" he answers hastily, then regrets it. But you don't know that.

Instead, numbness takes over your body, the events of last hours finally draining your body. Sleep settles in, and you nest your head on Joel's sweaty shoulder.

"Lemme take you to bed" you hear his half-drowned voice, carrying your body to the main bedroom.

Joel Miller was always a mystery to you: a man who seemed impossible to break, his world hiding behind a permanent scowl. It felt like his heart was locked, seemingly unbreakable, but where he was rough, his edges had softened for you.

He places you over the bed softly, dipping next to you. Joel's strong arms embrace you, pulling your tired figure closer. His face hides in your neck and his soft belly pushes against the curve of your back, all while he presses a soft kiss to it.

"I think I love you" he murmurs to no one in particular.

But you hear.

It was winter again, when he broke your heart.

Before the holidays, you'd drop by every other weekend. Cancelling plans, waiting for his call. For his grave voice to say Come over, and you'd speed up the brakes with an urgency only he had taught you.

You'd find yourself in the cabin, loosing track of time that rushed like a bottle of wine. Kissing until your mouth was swollen and the only thing that satisfied your hunger was his lips, fucking until sunrise and his bones ached. He'd then offer a tired smile, and you'd sing a soft tune in front of the fireplace while cuddling.

They say home is where the heart is. And it felt like one.

It was during one of those escapades that you showed up with your newest adquisition: a small cursive J just above your thigh, hiding under the plaid of your skirt.

It was your first fight. He shouted at you like he had never before, scolding you like a father would to a naive kid, the hatred you hadn't seen since he touched you that night a year ago, resurfacing.

"We're loosing ourselves" his voice cracked, sounding defeated. But then he'd suck the skin around it until it turned red.

The back and forth became the only thing keeping you alive, the need for his touch as addictive and destructive as a drug.

Which is why Christmas hadn't felt this jolly since being a kid.

You're back, and as you hug your dad and mom, you scour the place for his face: the one you've grown to yearn and love.

Your dad exchanges a glance with your mother and then looks at you weirdly before answering.

"He isn't coming; I thought you knew"

You don't care about the future explanations or the calls of your name, storming off and crossing the street to his place.

"Joel!" you shout, knocking desperately, "open the door!"

When you don't get an answer, you search for the spare key hiding under a pot in the porch. As you make your way inside, you spot Joel sitting in front of the fireplace, his eyes lost in the fire.

"Joel" you softly call his name. At that, he snaps, standing up. His eyes glow with the flames, circling in doubt.

"Sugar?" like he didn't expect you to actually search him on his absence, "what'd doing here?"

"I could ask you the same" you laugh, sardonically. "Don't know how I'll explain running off like that, so thanks, by the way"

"M' sorry"

The words fall heavy in the air, suddenly thick. Something tells you he isn't apologizing exactly for that.

There's something like guilt and fear simmering in his eyes. You think about all those times in the cabin, spring and autumn, and you're reminded of those three words he's said and you haven't. The realization hits you, and you're quick to reach him, grabbing his hand.

"Joel?" you call again. "I- I need to tell you something"

"So do I" but he sounds reluctant, "you go first"

"I don't know what's happening" your lip quivers, eyes glossy. God, he feels terrible, "but I want you to know that I love you"

He gasps, like you've slapped him across the face.

"No" he starts, pushing you away. He lets go of your hand, and the sudden cold hits you.

"I thought I still had time..." his shoulders slump in defeat, "guess I'm wrong"

"What do you mean?" anger and sadness flood your words.

"You can't love me" the words cut through you, and you're sick.

Sick of your rusting wheels that only move when he tells you to. Because that force, the dominance, Joel Miller seems to carry over the rest of the people, doesn't cut as deep as it cuts through you.

It's almost done with a benevolent authority, like he knows of said power and doesn't want to abuse it.

So now he's ordering you to stop loving him, like this year has meant nothing. Nothing.

"Love, funny word" your words carry rage, "do you even know what that means?" you try to hold back the tears in vain, "you don't, yet you say them so freely, like they mean nothing to you" he makes a surprised face, and you savour the pain reflected on his face, alike of yours. "Yes, I heard you, Joel. Y-you made me the happiest girl on the planet, but now I realize you're so full of shit"

You turn around, trying not to see his face, because you know that the more you look at him, the more seconds you add and the harder it would be to erase the memories you'll have to burn.

"Did you ever love me, Joel?" it pains you to whisper out loud.

"I love you, sugar" his voice is horse, like something had cut through it. "That's why I'm doing this"

"Are you, Joel?" you sigh, "if you loved me, wouldn't you want me to stay?"

"This won't end well" it's his answer, trying to reason, "I don't want to hold you back"

Coward. Asshole. Idiot.

Your tone is icy like the storm outside, "but it's already ended"

He's about to speak but you cut him off.

You can only smile. "I've given you everything and you took it. I really thought you were giving me your everything, but I realize now, that I know what you are. You don't need to hide it" he looks at you like it is you who's hurted him the most, "you're hard to love, Joel. But I tried"

He'll regret it. You know and you want to: you want him to feel the empty days blur with one another, that he remembers late at night what you had and he ended, so when he feels alone, the ghost of your free love haunts him with the happy days and sweet taste of your lips. Just then, he'll understand what your year of loving really meant.

You leave his house empty, a knife twisted in your heart. He's the only one who's got the key, and you know it will be long until anyone else can break it open.

But it's okay: if being with Joel was heaven, you'll happily burn in the flames of what's left.

cr: divider by @kodaswrld / gif @tomshiddles

[moonaaara]

modernau!smoke & stack headcanons

➠ notes: when sinners is such a wonderful movie metaphorically, cinematically, and emotionally, that i start writing again. wow....

smoke. ⭑ he's a businessman that leaves your apartment for days at a time, but when it comes back to you, he's all elijah and no smoke. you're his peace, and when he hugs you, his arms snake around your lower back as he takes in your familiar scent.

⭑ he calls you his lady when he's outside. makes sure everyoneee knows y'all go together real bad.

⭑ he's normally so stoic, but when you're in his lap, he's incredibly unrestrained. gets kiss-drunk reallll easy. immediately flips your position to kiss you stupid too so you're grasping at him and rolling your hips closer to him. "girl, you a damn distraction. keepin' me away from my work... you miss me?"

⭑ definitely has a sleeve tattoo.

⭑ he loooves r&b. definitely has a vinyl player in his house. he listens to sade, d'angelo, musiq soulchild, brandy, lauryn hill. on occasion, he'll put on some j. cole or kendrick. he listens to the type of music where you're like "whatchu know about this?"

⭑ looooves it when you hang onto his arm in public. he be trying to hide his smirk.

⭑ enjoys taking down your braids with you and washing your hair. he finds the intimacy of it so peaceful.

⭑ very intuitive to your needs. he can sense when your mood shifts on a dime.

⭑ he's a person who adores acts of service even though he would never admit it to you. his frown deepens when he gives you a black card of his, and he gets no notification of it being used.

⭑ he realized that you were the one the day he opened up to you frfr. he was talking about his father and other people that have hurt him, and you kissed his chest because "it was the closest i'll get to kissing your heart." that day he knew he wanted to take care of you the same way you adore him forever.

stack. ⭑ he tries out an assortment of nicknames on you to see which ones make you flounder a little, let out a small sigh of contentment. he settles on angel, pretty girl, and the occasional drawl of baby. if you send him a selfie of you that's particularly striking, he'll call you his dime piece.

⭑ loves a brat. ohhhhh, he adores the chase. the eye rolls, the lash flutters, the teasing— it excites him. the more you pout and sass, the wider he grins. he likes it when you yell at him (playfully.) when your glossed lips start to move a bit faster and there's a fire in your eyes.... his dick twitches a little.

⭑ y'all have matching grillz.

⭑ this nigga loves physical affection. always has a hand on you, whether it's your lower back when you're wearing a sundress or your ass in the jeans he bought you. when you two are cuddling at night, he would literally climb into your skin if he could.

⭑ y'all be weird as hell together... when he's in the privacy of his own home, stack's weird as fuck. he lets you "bite" him. the better phrase for it would be lightly sinking your teeth into his bicep, but his ass will narrow his eyes and stare at you as if he didn't shove you off of him. "my girl a freaky lil' shit..."

⭑ he has the music taste of a whore. i'm talking partynextdoor, brent faiyaz, smino, don toliver, dvsn, and miguel. he kisses his teeth whenever you put your playlist on in the car, but you can see him vibing to it regardless. (he will never ask you the artist name himself though.)

⭑ loves to text you the most dirtiest things. i will not be providing further context.

⭑ he looks away when you ask him for something, because if he looks directly at you and your soft, glowy skin, he will in fact cave immediately.

⭑ loves taking photos of you. you when you're dressed up, you when you're just in his shirt, you when you're out in complimenting outfits. he keeps a polaroid of you two together in his wallet. "baby, what are you doing?" "i have the prettiest damn woman."

[jinxvex]

Oh my gosh your writing is great! Can we please get a headcanons of caitlyn x crybaby girlfriend? Like where her girlfriend is more sensitive and emotional than she is? Sfw and nsfw please, and perhaps a bit of size difference sprinkled (Cause that woman is TALL OH MY WORD) if it's possible? Take your time please! And thank you <3

♱ gf!caitlyn x emotional/sensitive gf!reader headcanons!! ♱

i'm sorry for the wait y'all!! LOL i've been a bit lazy (oop)

cw: sfw & nsfw, reader that cries and is emotional, cute and wholesome (sfw portion), pet names, dirty talk, she uses a strap (spoiler! it's royal blue!!!), praise, degradation, dumbification, humiliation, slight size kink, slight crying kink, you eat each other out, fingering, etc!!

SFW:

♱ caitlyn finds your sensitivity adorable and admirable. she’s almost jealous of how you’re so in tune with your emotions. your submissive, emotional personality goes hand in hand with her casual dominance and urges to protect the people she loves.

♱ caitlyn’s heart palpitates every time your eyes sparkle with emotions you can’t even explain at times— when your fingers clench the bottom of her shirt and you look up at her with raw vulnerability.

- “what’s the matter, darling? talk to me.”

♱ it doesn’t matter if you make a mistake, drop something valuable, or spill a drink, she’s always there to comfort you and tell you it’s alright, ���c-cait ’m sorry i didn’t mean t-” + “don’t cry, love. you’ve made a mistake, that’s all.”

♱ cait’s a chronic forehead kisser (lol).

♱ she loves to treat you with the utmost care and consideration! if you’re more emotional and prone to stress-induced crying, she makes sure that there is nothing around you that could cause any unwanted feelings because she feels she isn’t doing her job as your girlfriend (or wife 😛) if you’re unhappy, “i hope everything’s to your liking, love? if you need anything, trust that i’ll give it to you.”

♱ caitlyn always seems to have her hand at the small of your back, rubbing it to show you she’s there if you need her. her protective touch instills a sense of calm in you, keeping you happy, appreciated, and seen.

♱ she slaps your ass playfully whenever you pout. OOPS

♱ she wraps her hands around you in a protective embrace whenever you do cry. she lets you sob into her chest as she hugs your smaller frame, whispering sweet nothings in your ear to comfort you, “shhh, it’s okay. it’s okay. ‘m here, baby, caitlyn’s here.”

♱ caitlyn dresses you in brand-new clothing the morning after you’ve had a bad day/night! (once again) patting your ass when she’s done pulling on your clothes and placing her hand on your hips to guide you to the full-length mirror across from the bed, “gorgeous.” + “look at you, sweetheart. you’re so beautiful.” + “do you like it? the clothes?”

♱ whenever she can’t be with you, busy protecting piltover from its enemies, she asks the maids to give you gifts and notes sent from her to remind you that she loves you—that you should look forward to her arriving home. the last thing she wants is for you to get emotional because you think she’s forgotten you!

♱ while i do agree that she prefers to keep her relationships private and she hates PDA. she wouldn’t hesitate to hold your hand or give you a reassuring hug or kiss whenever you need it!

♱ even when you are in a good mood, laughing and enjoying yourself. you could be in public, private, it doesn’t matter, she’s whispering to you how much she loves you, “your smile is just beautiful, my love.” + “i’m so lucky to have you. so radiant.”

♱ her love languages are words of affirmation, gift-giving, and acts of service!!

NSFW (🤭):

♱ we ALL know deep down she gives dom (specifically dom leaning switch) vibes!! she can get subby too!

♱ dare i say i agree that caitlyn has a MEAN size kink… there’s something about the way you look so much shorter, smaller than her when she’s pounding you into the mattress that makes her dripping wet, “wow, darling. you look so cute like this. so submissive.”

♱ since you can get in your head and get quite emotional, she does praise more than degrade (she still sprinkles it in here or there, especially if you’ve been bad). she likes dumbification and humiliation if that makes sense… WALK WITH ME HERE!!

♱ some of the things she’d say include: “you’re doing so good for me. so obedient. so willing.” + “my cute little whore. you get wet so easily, it’s adorable.” + “you can’t even think, can you? you don’t have to. just do as i say. thaaat’s it, good girl.”

♱ she enjoys making you cry out of embarrassment rather than sadness. imagine you’ve been giving her attitude and rudeness all day and she’s punishing you for it. she would force you to spread your legs and touch yourself while you apologize to her and tell her how much you love her in detail, “i hope you don’t think you’re cumming tonight, love.” + “you’re such a slut. giving me bullshit all day simply because you want to get stuffed full of my cock.” + “don’t you fucking cum. you don’t deserve it today.”

♱ because caitlyn has such a soft spot for you, she’d lowkey give in to your begging and let you cum anyway LMDAOSO.

♱ she spends hours praising you and telling you how good you feel and look during sex! the curve of your waist and hips, your ass and thighs cause her to believe you’re a gift from heaven!

♱ the strap is royal blue!! 6.8 inches… and when she gives you every inch, tears can’t help but prick your eyes and threaten to fall. it’s just too much!! i fear she enjoys it though, her smile toothy as she watches you cry and struggle to take her cock in a mating press, “it hurts, doesn’t it? you take it so well, it’ll feel better soon and you’ll be begging me to fuck you.”

♱ she eats you out after a meltdown!! wanting you to feel better—to feel the love she has for you! she kisses it before she eats it… AGGHHHHHFHHH. she’s always so gentle when she has her tongue on you, licking and kissing softly and spreading your cunt with her fingers, “oh, sweetheart. you’re dripping! can’t wait to eat you up.”

♱ now when you’re eating caitlyn out, she’s caressing your head/holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail. she pushes your head into her cunt, muffling the noises coming from your throat, “yes, yes! mhm right there. don’t stop, darling.”

♱ when you’re fingering her, you always seem to hold back slightly, afraid to hurt her. she urges you to, “go harder, love. you won’t hurt me. i need this, can’t you see?” + you’re the only one who can produce such high-pitched and needy moans from her!

♱ she loves seeing you in lingerie… there’s something that makes her feral seeing someone so sweet in such naughty attire. you have dozens of sets of lingerie and corsets (that she’s gifted you) so when you’re alone, she can see you in them 24/7.

♱ she’s a tribbing enthusiast! but she loves to save it for more emotional, passionate nights with you. it’s very dear to her.

thanks 4 the request!! writing this took long but it was fun! 💋

[ssahotchnerr]

jealous!Aaron would be super interesting in a situation where the reader has a meeting with an agent that has vibes similar to him and Kate Joyner (Whoever the reader meets kinda resembles and ex or maybe even Aaron himself and they're oddly friendly 🤭)

the one

OMG cw; bau!reader, jealous!aaron, aaron's petty (and a bit insecure), established relationship (and a healthy one at that <333), vague allusions to sex, fluff wc; 1.8k

"your team will be stationed here." the chief of police led you, aaron and jj into one of the conference rooms, complete with a large table, vast seating and numerous bulletin boards. "our head detective will be in to assist you shortly."

"thank you." once he had exited, aaron exhaled a breath - more so a let's get this show on the road, "alright, let's get settled."

jj began unpacking the evidence from the boxes collected so far, as aaron and yourself hung up photos; crime scene as well as images of the victims so far.

as promised, the door soon opened, allowing the noise of the precinct to drift in. it ended as abruptly as it had started, the door clicking shut.

"mornin', i'm detective parker." you heard from behind you, the name and voice strangely familiar, causing you to slow. "it's real nice of y'all to come all this way to help us out."

jj introduced herself, and then aaron, but no introduction was needed on your end; you turned and your eyes connected with the voice, both of you recognizing each other instantly.

"no way!" you grinned, moving forward and bypassing a handshake for a hug. he reciprocated your energy, exclaiming your name as he embraced you just as tightly.

aaron immediately stiffened, and jj was equally taken aback, studying the man. the first noticeable thing, the resemblance. the dark hair, dark eyes, tall frame...

while aaron began to seethe, and jj took the initiative to vocalize what they both were wondering - she had also noted the vein beginning to bulge in his neck. "the two of you know each other?"

"we worked together back in the tuscon field office." you explained, turning back to parker with a smile. "that was what, three, four years ago?"

"has it been? doesn't feel like it." he released a hearty laugh. "look at you, you haven't changed a bit. you look good, and i mean real good."

a swarm of jealous heat filled aaron's body, and only grew as you and parker began chattering away like lifelong best friends.

eager to draw it to a close, he cleared his throat, loudly. it regained both your attention, and cut your small reunion short.

"huh, a bau profiler," parker said as he sobered down, his smile lingering as he gazed at you. "who would've thought."

jj inserted herself into the conversation again, intrigued yet perplexed. "so the two of you were close, then."

aaron refrained - with a large amount of effort - from physically rolling his eyes. clearly. he opened a file, solely to maintain his composure.

"oh, absolutely," parker answered for the both of you, while also throwing an arm around your shoulder. "there was one time we-"

"fascinating." aaron deadpanned as he interrupted, closing the file in hand, rather aggressively as it produced a quaint slap. his eyes rose and studied the agent's arm placement for a few, obvious seconds, his lips drawing into a tight line before continuing. "need i remind you we currently have three victims and a killer who is unraveling as we speak. it's in our best interest to work diligently and remain focused."

parker nodded, his cheeks producing a faint blush at the injunction.

"the recent victim's family still requires an interview. you can start there."

"the two of us can go," parker said, gesturing to yourself, "it's quite a drive away, could give us the opportunity to catch up."

"that won't be necessary, jj can accompany you." aaron stated firmly, not even looking at him, nose buried in his file again.

an amused yet disdained expression formed on jj's face, nodding slowly in confirmation. "that i can."

parker opened his mouth, probably to protest, but aaron had already turned his back. he surrendered and headed out, jj following.

"aaron." you transferred your weight onto your hand as you leaned on the edge of the table, raising an eyebrow.

"what?" he looked at you. despite his query, his eyes were a telltale - he knew what he was doing.

you arched your eyebrow more, giving him a look.

he sighed, shutting the file. "i didn't like the way he was looking at you."

"he wasn't-"

aaron gave you a pointed look this time, prompting your words to trail off. he tore his eyes away from you again, allowing his next inquiry to exit his mouth more easily, "so, were the two of you...?"

"oh, no." you began to shake your head, but halfway, you hesitated. "well... almost."

his lips fell into an uneasy line, a pained expression painted on his face as his gaze shot back to yours. "almost?"

"we went on a few dates, kissed and..." you released a breath, choosing to keep the summary short, but the brooding envy in aaron's eyes deepened. "but nothing ever came from it. we were better off as friends."

after a moment though, you added, on the quieter side, "and besides, i transferred before anything really solidified."

the lines in aaron's face only grew, biting down briefly on his bottom lip.

"but it's in the past." you quickly reassured, bringing your hands to his cheeks for a moment to relieve the tension. "i won't deny that we were close, but you know how partnerships work. i depended on him, him on me, and the majority of our time was spent together. it caused a lot of emotions, all of which, are gone. i haven't even spoken to him since, seriously."

aaron wanted to counter, does parker know that? but from the earnest expression on your face, and loving look in your eyes, he withheld from doing so.

the bitterness on his face still didn't falter, but "okay. that's fine."

you still weren't convinced. "are you sure?"

"yeah. you're allowed to have a history, but that doesn't mean i need to be optimistic about working with him." he said as he exhaled a breath. he meant it, fully secure and confident in your relationship. he simply detested the idea of another yearning for you, especially one you had a past with, and one who looked quite like him - a potential competitive force.

you were his.

"of course," you nodded, with full understanding. "if the roles were reversed, i know i'd feel the same."

"and as long as he doesn't try anything..."

you laughed, your fingers playing with and then smoothing out the lapels of his suit jacket - positioning them in perfect place just as they belonged. "he won't. trust me, he's not like that."

aaron nodded, his eyes softening as he gazed down at you. if it weren't for the current setting, he would've brought his lips to yours.

"i have you." you offered him a loving, genuine smile, the affirmation to his just-previous thought calming his heart rate further. "i have everything i could ever want."

-

despite aaron being a bit (very) high-strung, and keeping a close eye on parker, he kept his word - he remained civil. naturally, he still was passive aggressive, short, and didn't dare smile while interacting with him.

the team noticed the 'chemistry' too. you knew they were whispering about it; they had gazed questionably between the two of you upon their arrival at the precinct, and through the substance of the case - the naturalness, the easy meshing, bouncing ideas off each other. but you had worked with parker for years - you knew how he worked, and likewise. it was like riding a bike, old habits resurfacing.

they also noticed the familiar characteristics to aaron (morgan of course teased you about it, you simply waved him off). and even penelope all the way back home asked about it, "so this guy, what's the story there?"

but despite the at-times, annoying attention - the case proceeded and resolved easily. within a few days, it was time to return home.

as the team settled other matters - exit reports, paperwork, etc. - you found yourself with parker, packing up and clearing out the conference room.

the two of you were alone for the first time all week, and you could sense it in the silence - a pending question. it was a matter of time before it was brought to focus.

"what do you think would've happened, if we would've given it a shot?"

you froze, facing him. "what?"

"you and i." his eyes searched yours, creating a sense of deja-vu. it was familiar, having spent so much time with him and once it had sent shivers throughout your body. but as strong as they seemingly once were - it wasn't like with aaron. it didn't leave you feeling lightheaded and giddy and as if you could simply burst at the seams.

when you remained silent, he continued.

"we were good together." he stated, insistently. "you can't deny it. good partners, a great team."

"yeah... we were," you agreed, fiddling with some papers as you thought. "but in the field. romantically, no. we couldn't see eye to eye on anything non-work related, don't you remember how much we bickered?"

"that was good for one thing, at least."

you ignored that, firm and conclusive in your answer. "we wouldn't have lasted."

"and he's in the picture now." he chuckled as he crossed his arms, a tinge of irritation present.

"yeah, he is." you hardened your voice - he knew it as your tell to quit it. "like i told you the night before i left. i couldn't stay. there was more for me out there. and after joining the bau, i now know it was in more ways than one. i love the work, although it's tremendously difficult and gruesome at times. i love the family it's given me. and most importantly, i love aaron."

parker nodded silently, rather disappointedly, but understanding nonetheless.

"i love him. he's the one, i'm positively certain he is."

he sighed as shoulders dropped, his words melancholy but supportive. "well, he's good for you. if anything about him being attached to your hip, or giving me the subtle death glare constantly the past few days, has something to say for it."

you laughed gently. "profiling the profilers?"

"oh c'mon, the way he looks at you? anyone can tell."

-

on the jet, you weaved down the aisle, past the team finding their seats, getting comfortable for the ride home. when you reached aaron, you wrapped your arms around his middle.

aaron's lips tipped upwards in a smile, his arms mirroring yours. "what's this for?"

you only tightened your grip, mumbling into his chest. he could hear your smile in your voice. "just 'cause you're mine."

[totalswag]

tell me if you like it — RAFE CAMERON

authors note HIGHLY recommend you listen to me & you by cassie remix because it gives me total rafe vibes. i'm so close to 800 lovies, i adore you all. i switched my style with line dividers and i'm probably gonna stick with it for now on.

summary you've had your eyes on rafe cameron for sometime now and everyone knows your attraction towards him. you attend one of his parties one friday night with your girlfriends and make your official move on the kook king.

warnings drinking, smoking, alcohol, drugs, partying, kissing/making out, mentions of sex,

Rafe Cameron sent out a text about throwing a party at his place while Ward and Rose are out of town for the weekend. The minute word got out people were talking about the party.

You knew the instant after receiving the text that tonight would be the night you made your official move on Rafe Cameron. Everyone, including Cameron, knows you've had your eye on him for a while.

Rafe is waiting for you to make your final move, according to Topper and Kelce. To you, he appears to be playing a game, a waiting game. So you've been playing the game he prefers.

You’ve always wondered why Rafe himself hasn’t made his move on you yet. The thought runs through your mind occasionally.

The party was full when you arrived. People were drunk, smoking weed, doing other drugs, dancing, and who knows what else.

You came in with your head held high, scanning the crowd for your friend group, but first you needed a drink.

You walked into the kitchen, which was stocked with various types of alcohol. You are craving seltzer, so you grabbed a truly from the fridge. You went on a search for your friends after closing the frigid.

Your name was called from the corner of the house by the girls. When you saw them wave you over, you turned in their direction. When they saw you approaching, their mouths dropped open.

"I must say Y/N, you look so hot!" Ella, one of your best friends, says she's hyping you up by gazing at you up and down.

"If Rafe doesn't get you tonight, he's definitely going to miss out," Melina says, resting against the wall.

The other girls agreed with Melina and Ella's comments.

"You two are really kind. Plus, y'all look so good I might melt" you compliment them back.

"I'll be making my final move on him; I just need to find him first," you say with a nice smile, gazing over your shoulder for Cameron boy.

"Dude we saw him earlier walking out back to smoke a blunt with Kelce but haven't seen him since" Ella informs you.

Thirty minutes go by, you four are dancing together to the beat of the music. Laughing and drinking together while listening to music that keeps you dancing.

For the past five minutes you can feel eyes on you the entire time you’ve been dancing with the girls. You lift your head up slowly, Rafe is standing with a group of his friends.

You’ve been waiting so long, I’m here to answer your call.

I know that I shouldn’t have had you waiting at all.

You two lock eyes. No one is breaking it.

He's dressed in a white tee, black cargo pants, a gold chain around his neck, and a snapback. Oh, that gold chain.

As you continue to dance to the beat of the song, tension builds in your body. Knowing Rafe is watching gives you excitement. You look over your shoulder, he's looking at you amongst the crowd of people.

You tell the girls as you pull away you are gonna have a little chat with Rafe for a moment but knowing that will be a for a while.

When Rafe sees you getting closer, he feels his body tense up. More so with excitement.

“Hey Rafe,” you smiled nicely, giving him a hug, running your hand down his arm.

He wraps his arm around you, “hey Y/N” Rafe says, looking down at you softly, “How are you enjoying the party?” He asks before taking a sip of his drink in his free hand.

“Yeah, I am. My friends and I have been having a great time” You say, trying to play it off you are about to make your final move.

Throughout the conversation, you keep eye contact, something you've always done with people. Conversation was casual yet with a hint of flirtatious moments.

Rafe's body communicates that he is attempting to maintain his calm. You tilt your head slightly, a smile spreading across your face.

"If you girls need anything I'll be around the house," he lets you know, moving his hand in a circling motion.

Your thinking tells you to say something that will catch him off guard.

Slowly nodding, stepping on your tiptoes, placing your free hand around Rafe's neck and dragging him to your height, "What if I need something from you?" Your voice sounded enticing, as you pull away.

Your gaze lands on the gold chain. Playing with it, twisting it with your index finger. 

Rafe's lip slides against his bottom lip, forming into a smirk. He knows what you are doing to him. He likes it.

I know I shouldn't have you waiting at all.

I've been so busy, but I've been thinking about you.

What I wanna do to you.

"Oh really, what would that be? enlighten me,"

Oh he's really good you think to yourself.

"I think you know what I mean, Rafe."

"I don't think I do, Y/N," mocking your tone.

In your mind, you want to go and see what he does, or you want to stay by his side for the rest of the night and sleep in his sheets. It can go either way, but you'll most likely be in his sheets, or not.

You finally inform Rafe that you'll be getting back to your girlfriends, who are waiting for you someplace in the home. The look on his face indicated that he did not want you to leave him.

He leans nearer and places his hand on your wrist, "No, don't leave right now. Can I give you a tour of the the house?" He suggested.

You give him a questionable look as if you were debating it.

"Vip access for special people,"

Jack pot.

"I would love that."

The rest of the night, you stayed at Rafe's side. You had him hooked around your finger and it only took you a few words out your mouth. The expressions on your girls' faces were wonderful; they were secretly cheering you on across the room. Of course, they kept a close eye on you while enjoying themselves.

When Rafe took you around the house, he made sure you had the best tour of your life. You could not believe how large the house was. He showed you his room last, which was maintained clean and tidy. His tv is on the wall below his dresser. The smell of cologne flooded your lungs and smelled pleasant.

After, you two took a few shots, smoked a joint, played drinking games, danced, and made out.

You now have your back against Rafe's chest, and his hand is around your waist, holding you close. You'll occasionally move your hips to the side to the beat of the song, causing him to pull you closer.

Everyone has taken to the dance floor in the huge living room. You both circle all of Rafe's buddies. You've met them many times before. Your girlfriends were a few feet away.

Rafe's hand was gliding itself up and down your waist then your ass giving it a couple squeezes.

You turn around and place both hands on his lower the abdomen. You looked at each other with lust and desperation. You examine his lips first, contemplating whether you should kiss him first. You do. 

Lips moved in sync. Tongues fighting for dominance. The feeling felt electric. Your body was craving him more and more.

"I think it's time I gave me another good tour, but this time in my bedroom," he breathlessly mumble in your ear, eager.

You groan from his words, nodding.

The way he spoke those words to you made you feel like you were on cloud nine. Excitement in your lower stomach started jumping.

Before you head upstairs, Rafe wraps his arm around Topper's shoulder, whispers in his ear, "Make sure you get these people out of here in an hour, then you can either stay here or go home." Topper nods and pats his shoulder.

You couldn't take your hands off each other on the way up to his bedroom; laughing, touching, and kissing. 

"You look so beautiful tonight, couldn't take my eyes off you," he says as he lays you on his soft sheets, runs his hands down your sides, and admires your physique.

The words coming out Rafe's mouth made your cheeks grow red. You watch Rafe's eyes scan your body before he grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your body.

You feel yourself grow impatient, Rafe senses it, he smirks.

"Don't worry, angel, we're just getting started," he said, dropping his head, kissing your stomach, and moving closer to your underwear line.

Your hands slide through his hair, gently pulling, eliciting a gasp from Rafe's lips. You smirk at yourself.

Pulls your skirt down and throws your underwear across the room before bringing itching closer to your core. Chills run down your spine, and you breathe heavily as Rafe's breath fans on your bare core.

The sexual tension grows stronger. Rest of your night consisted of the both of your moans filling the bedroom.

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[jeonginsleftcheek]

Me or him (part 3)

~part 1 & part 2

pairing: felix x afab!reader x hyunjin

genre: angst, smut

word count: 2.6k

warning/s: swearing, brief description of sex, cheating, lots of drama & angst in this chapter, brief description of a panic attack, toxic behaviour, lots of fighting

a/n: i was supposed to work on cult of love but i was in an angsty mood, so enjoy ig and please reblog if you like it🫶🏻 (also this is not the ending of this fic, there will be more)

~check out my: Masterlist ~part 4

Hyunjin knows that Felix has always been a touchy-feely guy. He knows it's the way his friend expresses love. And he's used to it.

But he couldn't help but notice the lingering touches between his girlfriend and his best friend. Even though all three of you are friends, it seemed that gradually, hugs between you and Felix were tighter and longer.

He told himself that he's just imagining things and that there is no way there would ever be anything like that happening between the two of you.

Not when you're smiling at him so beautifully, bathed in the afternoon sun, wearing your pretty dress as you share a picnic blanket.

Hyunjin's hands itch to take out his sketchbook and fill it with yet another sketch of you, the lines and curves etched into his mind so deep that he could draw you in his sleep.

But he longs more to feel you closer to him so while you bask in the beauty of the nature around you, he sneakily sits behind you, arms around your waist as he pulls you into his embrace.

You shriek in surprise, your back flush against his chest as he leans his chin on your shoulder.

"What are you doing?"- you chuckle.

"I wanna hold you a little while, before I start sketching you."- Hyunjin smiles, gently moving your hair to the other side.

You're about to answer something witty but Hyunjin's lips are pressed into your skin, right over your pulse that reveals your heart beating fast.

"Oh..."- is all that leaves your lips as your boyfriend kisses you gently and holds you tight.

Your eyes are closed and you tilt your head, enjoying the quiet and the warmth.

You're about to lose yourself when Hyunjin suddenly pulls away.

"Why'd you stop?"- you whine and he laughs cutely and annoyingly at your pouty face.

"We can continue this at home."- he smirks and kisses your cheek.

And you don't think about Felix.

Until you do. Until he somehow creeps into your mind while Hyunjin sketches you. And you wonder what he's doing right now and if he's thinking about you too.

And you also wonder why are you thinking about another man when all you need to be happy is right here with you, your sweet boyfriend Hyunjin who always tries his best and loves you more than you know?

-

You and Hyunjin stumble into your apartment, giddy with the good vibes you shared on your picnic date. You're laughing until you almost choke on your spit when you see Felix standing in your living room.

"Ugh... I let myself in. Hope y'all don't mind."

Right. He knows where the spare key is hidden.

"Lix! Oh my god, I haven't seen you in weeks!"- Hyunjin is quick to greet his friend and you feel like your legs are heavy. Like you've grown roots and you can't move from where you're standing.

"Yeah, sorry, I was working on some projects."- Felix says and looks at you, his arms opening up, silently beckoning you in a hug.

You move towards him automatically and pat him awkwardly. Hyunjin watches the whole interaction.

"Hi, y/n."- Felix smiles like nothing is wrong. "I brought brownies."- he adds, pointing to the kitchen.

"Oh we haven't had those in a long time. I missed them actually."- Hyujin says and almost skips to the kitchen. Little does he know you've had those brownies for breakfast more times than you can count.

You throw daggers at Felix with your eyes while Hyunjin is busy digging into the tupperware his friend brought.

Felix gives you a smug smile before it melts into his innocent one.

"I thought we could hang out today. I'm sorry I didn't call in advance. I just wanted to surprise you guys."- he says.

"Nonsense! You're always welcome here, Lix."- Hyunjin says. "Right, y/n?"

"Yeah, ofcourse."- you nod.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom."- Hyunjin gets up and leaves the kitchen.

You wait and listen for the bathroom door to click.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"- you whisper to Felix, fuming at his presence in your apartment.

"Me? Nothing. I'm here just to hang out with my friends. Is that not allowed?"- he smirks.

"What are you planning?"- you squint, your heart beating fast in anger, hands already starting to shake.

"Nothing. But, I must say. You look really pretty in that dress. How come you never wear dresses for me?"- Felix bites on his lip, giving you the elevator eyes.

"Why would I wear dresses for you?"- you say through gritted teeth.

"You're really hot when you're mad."- he whispers, reaching his hand to touch your face but you grab his wrist mid-air.

"Don't touch me."- you say angrily, and both of you step away from each other as you hear Hyunjin coming back.

Felix just smirks at you again.

And even though you tried to get out of it, make just the two of them hang out or somehow make Felix leave, you ended up sitting on the couch between them.

Hyunjin suggested a movie night, and Felix was ofcourse all for it and that's how you ended up practically cuddled between them.

Your brain is racing, heart beating out of your chest as Hyunjin leans his head on your shoulder and comments on the movie, completely unaware of Felix's wandering hand under the blanket.

You couldn't believe he was this bold. Hyunjin was not even an arm's length away from him and Felix somehow managed to sneak his hand on your thigh.

At first, you jumped a little and Hyunjin asked if you were alright and you made some poor excuse as Felix squeezed your plushy flesh.

You hated how it made you feel, how any touch by him, even if it was feather-like made your core throb. Felix knew exactly what he was doing.

So, you decided to excuse yourself and go to bed.

Hyunjin kept asking if you were alright and you kept answering that you were just tired.

-

You weren't tired, no far from that. You were turned on by Felix touching you while Hyunjin was right there. What the hell is wrong with you?, you think.

"Baby, you okay?"- Hyunjin peers into your room.

"Did Lix leave?"- you ask.

"He did."- Hyunjin says and comes in, closing the door behind him. "Are you mad at him or something?"- he cautiously asks, kneeling behind you as you lay wrapped up in your blanket.

"No... I just wanted us to have the day to ourselves."- you say.

"Aw baby, I'm all yours now, I promise."- Hyunjin leans over you, kissing your head. "You still tired or you wanna continue where we left off today?"- he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows and you chuckle at him as you turn to look at him.

"Remind me where we left off."- you tease and Hyunjin grips your blanket, slowly pulling it down and leaving you just in a shirt and panties.

He leans in and kisses your neck, his hands splayed on your hips as you spread your legs to make room for him.

You try hard to not think about anything or anyone else, as Hyunjin's gentle hands caress your skin, his lips hot against you, worshipping you with all he has.

You're still trying, when Hyunjin's deep inside you, touching spots no one else has, when he whispers praise and love into your ear. Your head is thrown back, eyes closed and you clench around him.

"Ah- Felix!"- lost in the pleasure, it slips out of your lips and you both freeze.

"What did you just say?"- Hyunjin stops his movement and your eyes snap open.

"What did I say?"- you hope he hasn't heard you. You hope you hadn't said it actually, maybe you just thought of it.

"Why the hell would you moan Felix's name?"- Hyunjin asks, slipping out of you, his face unreadable.

"I- I don't know, Hyun! It slipped out! We were hanging out with him earlier and-" -you scramble to sit up.

"Bullshit! We hung out with him a million times before and you've never moaned his name while were making love."- Hyunjin stands up, clearly mad.

"Hyunjin, it's not what you think-"

"And what is it I'm thinking y/n? Why don't you enlighten me?"

"I-"

"I can't do this right now."- Hyunjin shakes his head, picking some of his clothes up.

"Where are you going?"- you ask, eyes already welling up with tears.

"To clear my head, before I do shit I'll regret."- he says and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

You can't believe you just did that. You can't believe you moaned your lovers name right into your boyfriend's face.

Your heart starts racing as your stomach churns. Your breaths become laboured and your hands shake. You feel like you're slipping into a panicked state, unable to even see because of the tears blurring your vision.

Your hand reaches out for your phone and you shakily manage to go into your contacts and click on his name.

"F-Felix?"- your ears are buzzing.

"Y/n?"- he answers.

"Where a-are you?"- you barely choke out, a sob escaping your lips.

"I'm home. Where are you? What's wrong?!"- he sounds concerned.

"I... I made a mistake. Hyunjin left. Please. Please come see me. I think - I think I'm gonna have a panic attack."- you somehow manage to say.

"Fuck, okay I'll be right there. Just, just stay with me on the phone, okay? Just try and take deep breaths together with me, hm?"- you hear rustling, and him slamming the door of his apartment, you assume.

"Okay, I'll try."- you say, tears now freely streaming down your cheeks as you still sit in bed, clutching the blanket that is wrapped around your shaking body.

"I'll drive as fast as I can, okay?"- he says.

"Be safe."- you say, and Felix's hands grip the wheel harshly as he hits the gas.

"Sure."- he says. "Now, let's try and take those deep breaths in."

-

Felix arrives in less than twelve minutes, you hear his hurried footsteps running from the door to your room.

"Y/n?"- he calls out as he walks in and you look up at him, still in the same spot you were in when Hyunjin stormed out.

You can't really talk as you sob and hiccup and Felix rushes to your side, grabbing your shaking hands.

"What happened?"- he asks and you shake your head.

"It's okay, I'm here."- Felix sighs sadly, pulling you into his embrace, your hands grip his shirt and you bury your face into his chest and keep crying.

He's caressing your head, shushing you and whispering comforting words like he always does.

You manage to calm down a little after a few minutes.

"Can you tell me what happened now?"- Felix asks quietly, his hands coming up to wipe away your tears.

"I fucked up. I fucked up bad."

"What did you do?"- he asks, taking your hands in his once again.

"I- I accidentally said your name while Hyunjin and I were- you know-"

"Oh. Oh."- Felix looks stunned.

"He was so mad, Lix. Like he already knew something."

"What did he say?"

"He said he needs to clear his head before he does something he'll regret."- you say.

"Look, I'm not gonna lie and say I wouldn't be glad if the two of you broke up. But, I'm also your friend and I don't want you to be hurt."

"It's too late. I already hurt myself, it's all my fault."- you start crying again.

"Shh, I'm at fault too. You're not alone in this, y/n."- Felix says as he holds your face and leans in to kiss you and you let him.

You don't know why but you always let him. Your brain and your body find comfort in Felix, even though it's wrong. Even if he's using you in your fucked up state.

A voice inside you tells you he isn't just using you and that's probably why you can never push him away.

Not even when the bedroom doors open and you hear Hyunjin scoff.

Felix and you practically fly away from each other, startled by the sound.

"Hyunjin!"- you freak out as Felix stands up from the bed.

"I can't believe I was right. After everything, both of you put a knife in my back."- Hyunjin eyes the both of you, something distant and cold in his usually warm eyes.

"Hyunjin it's not-"

"Shut up, you cheating whore!"- he loses it suddenly.

"Don't talk to her like that!"- Felix intervenes.

"Or what? You gonna hit me after you fucked my girlfriend, huh best friend?"

Felix shuts his mouth, guilt finally catching up to him as a lump forms in his throat.

"How long have you two been going behind my back? Just answer me that."- Hyunjin breathes deeply, his ears and neck painted red in rage.

"A year or so."- you answer quietly.

"A year- Okay. Well. I'm done with the both of you. Don't even bother trying to explain or contact me. I'll send someone to pick my stuff up from here cause I don't ever wanna see your faces again. You two are disgusting and you deserve each other. Now you can enjoy together without me being in the way of your happiness."- Hyunjin spits and you can see tears forming in his eyes but he turns around quickly before either of you can react and he's gone.

Hyunjin is gone.

Rage bubbles up inside you, you're mad. You're mad at your poor decision making, at your weakness, you're mad at throwing away a good thing, you're mad at Felix but mostly at yourself.

Still, you take it out on him.

You get up and grab some of your clothes as Felix watches you getting dressed quickly.

"Are you happy now, Felix?"- you say angrily.

"Me? Oh, so now this is all my fault."- he throws his hands up angrily.

"It's not but you said you'd be happy if Hyunjin and I broke up. Are you happy now?"

"I didn't say that exactly. But, I'm also not exactly sad. I'm only worried about you."

"You don't get to worry about me."- you say, shaking with anger.

"W-what do you mean? What about us?"- his voice wavers.

"Us? There is no us, Felix. There never was and there never will be."

"Don't - don't say that. You don't mean that."- Felix looks pained. Your heart hurts because of everything. You can't take it. You can't look at him. Not right now.

"What, you thought I'd jump into your arms the moment Hyunjin steps out?"

"You don't have a problem jumping into my arms any time you feel like it."- Felix crosses his arms.

"What does that mean?"

"What I said. You call me. I always answer. You invite yourself to my apartment. I always let you in. You need a shoulder to cry on, you always lean on me. You need someone to fuck your sadness away, so I let you use me. Did you ever ask if I needed support? A shoulder to cry on? Did you ever ask how I feel?"- he's angry now, his lips trembling.

"Don't make this about you."- you say.

"No, because everything is about you. And I still want to stay next to you. Even if you're being selfish, I'd take it. I'd take any crumb you give me, like a fucking stray dog."- Felix says angrily.

"That sounds like your problem and not mine. I don't want you here. Not anymore. I want you to leave."- you say coldly.

"Really? You don't... You don't care about me at all?"

You don't answer, turning your back to him as your eyes water again.

"Goodbye, Felix."

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[kangshxrtie]

32 . natty (written)

after an uber ride where you somehow ended up swapping life stories with the driver and becoming besties in the span of 20 minutes, you finally pulled up to natty's place. the music was already thumping from inside, and as you stepped out of the car, julie took the lead, knowing she had the best chance of getting you all in smoothly.

the second the front door opened, a cloud of smoke hit you, mixing with the scent of weed and whatever fruity scent the smoke machine was pumping out. you and belle both knew natty, but julie was definitely closer to her, so you just followed her lead as she confidently maneuvered through the crowd.

julie grabbed belle's hand, and without thinking, you grabbed belle's other hand, making a small chain as you weaved through the bodies. you caught glimpses of people you vaguely recognized from school, some already deep in conversation, others holding red solo cups and vibing to the music.

eventually, you spotted natty talking to someone, but the moment her eyes landed on julie, she immediately wrapped up the conversation and turned her full attention to your group.

"julie! i'm so glad you could make it," natty beamed, pulling julie into a hug.

"of course! i also brought belle and y/n," julie said, stepping aside to reveal the two of you.

"oh my god, you did!" natty gasped, pulling you both into a quick hug. "i've missed y'all!"

"speaking of, why are you never in math?" belle asked, crossing her arms.

natty let out a laugh, not looking the least bit guilty. "see, about that... the class is just really easy, so i don't need to go in unless there's a test."

"uh-huh. calculus has just been so easy," belle deadpanned.

natty grinned, completely unfazed. "see, you get it." "she's high," belle commented.

"you'll be on my level soon. the shit here is strong," natty said with a lazy grin before turning her attention to you. her gaze raked over your outfit, and then she pulled you in for a light hug. "but damn, y/n, you look so good tonight."

you smirked, patting her back. "thanks, i knew i had to dress to impress for one of your parties."

behind you, belle leaned toward julie, whispering, "since when did they get so personal?"

julie shrugged, keeping her eyes on you and natty. "i don't know... shit's weird."

"anyway, drinks?" natty offered, already motioning for you to follow her further into the house.

"i thought you'd never ask," julie grinned, tugging belle and you along.

natty led you all to the kitchen, which was just as packed as the rest of the house. the counter was covered in bottles, cups, and what you were pretty sure was a tub of jungle juice. she grabbed some solo cups and started pouring drinks like she was a professional bartender.

"you got any chasers?" you asked, eyeing the bottles skeptically.

natty smirked. "we're grown, y/n. just take the shot."

"we're grown? you won't even show up to class."

"not important," natty waved you off, handing you your cup.

julie took a sip and nodded approvingly. "okay, this is actually good."

belle took hers, giving natty a look. "if this is disgusting, i'm making you finish it."

"relax, it's my best work."

you clinked cups and took a sip, the alcohol burning slightly but still smooth enough to go down easy.

"okay, okay, not bad," you admitted.

natty grinned. "told you." then her eyes widened slightly like she just remembered something. "wait, i didn't even think to ask, who's driving?"

"none of us. we got an uber," you answered.

natty's grin stretched wider. "so what i'm hearing is... we can get everybody high."

you shrugged, "i mean... yeah."

"that is exactly what i like to hear." natty clapped her hands together, looking way too excited. then she grabbed your hand, tugging you along. "c'mon, let's go chill with zhanghao and them. they brought the good shit tonight."

julie and belle followed behind, while natty led you through the crowd, maneuvering past clusters of people lounging on couches, talking in corners, or dancing in the dim glow of led lights.

finally, you reached a more secluded part of the house, where a group was huddled on the back patio, passing around a blunt. zhanghao was sitting on a cushioned chair, one arm lazily draped over the back, exhaling a cloud of smoke. when he saw natty, his face broke into a smirk.

"you're back!" he cheered, handing off the blunt to the person next to him. his gaze flicked over to you, julie, and belle. "and you brought friends."

"damn right, i did." natty flopped down onto the couch across from him, tugging you down next to her. julie and belle settled onto the armrests.

"you smoke?" zhanghao raised an eyebrow at you.

before you could answer, natty leaned into you with a lazy grin. "she does tonight."

you side-eyed her but chuckled. "i guess i do now."

belle sighed dramatically. "welp, this is gonna be a night."

julie leaned forward, grabbing the blunt from the person next to her. "might as well make it agood one."

and that's how you ended up getting high with a group of people you barely knew before tonight. but man, was it funny. natty had been practically glued to your side the whole time, until she had to do her host duties and mingle with other guests.

in the meantime, you found yourself deep in conversation with zhanghao and hanbin, learning some wild shit about them. before tonight, all you really knew was that they were friends with matthew and ricky, but apparently, you had seriously been missing out. now that you were talking to them, you could totally see why they all got along, they had the same vibes. damn, you missed those two.

"i've never done an edible!" you announced, your high making you more talkative. "that shit gets you way too close to death in my opinion."

zhanghao, completely unfazed, shrugged. "i've taken like three since i woke up today."

you blinked at him. "you're just built different."

"i'll take another one right now," hanbin said, reaching for the bag of gummies on the table.

"umm, who's driving?" you asked, suddenly concerned for them.

zhanghao smirked. "you know the high doesn't last all day, right?"

"i don't, actually," you admitted, making the whole group burst into laughter.

belle, who had been sipping on a drink beside you, smirked. "this is the second time i've seen y/n high. she only ever drinks."

you pointed at her dramatically. "because i already picked my poison. this—" you gestured vaguely at the blunt in your hand, "—is just an occasional thing."

hanbin nudged you with his knee. "so what you're saying is, we need to makeit more than occasional?"

julie leaned in with a mischievous grin. "i fully support this agenda."

"i don't," belle deadpanned. "she's already an issue when she drinks. i can't deal with a crossfaded y/n."

you gasped. "i'm actually a very well-behaved drunk person!"

"honestly, i'll give you that. you've been very in control recently," belle admitted.

"only because it's the beginning of the year and we can't be getting banned from parties yet," julie added.

"that's not the only reason," you pointed out.

julie smirked. "oh yeah, that and dani distracting you."

"daniela avanzini?" hanbin asked, looking at you with interest.

"you didn't have to full name drop her, but yeah," you replied.

"doesn't she have, like, a lot of girls or something?" hanbin asked.

julie shrugged. "she has a lot of girls in the same way natty has a lot of girls."

"top hosts both being single single; the people would freak if they knew," hanbin said.

"well... maybe not single single," you muttered.

zhanghao leaned in, grinning. "oh—you gonna change that?"

before you could answer, natty suddenly appeared behind you, resting her chin on your shoulder. "what are y'all talking about?"

"apparently how bitchless you are," you said without hesitation.

natty scoffed. "what? i mean—i'm not dating anybody, but that's not important."

"yeah, we know," zhanghao said, clearly enjoying himself.

"but why are we talking about that?" natty asked, narrowing her eyes.

"now that is something you're just gonna have to figure out," hanbin teased.

natty sighed but let it go, not wanting to deal with whatever chaotic energy hanbin and zhanghao were on tonight.

"just talk to y/n more. maybe you'll figure it out," hanbin added.

natty ignored that comment entirely and turned her focus back to you. "are you really fucked up yet?"

"yes. zhanghao and hanbin made sure i was well supplied while you were gone," you said dramatically.

"good, good," natty said with an approving nod before leaning back slightly. then, softer, she added, "i'm glad you came tonight."

you smiled. "i'm glad i did too. your parties are different from my usual ones."

"yeah, i usually only invite a select few people, so it's more of a chill vibe," natty explained.

"i might start coming to yours more often, then. we all need that sometimes," you said.

"you really should," natty agreed, a little too happily.

"but are you really gonna hang out with me the whole party?" you teased. "i'm sure other people want your attention."

"i know, but i like being around you," natty admitted, her voice quieter now.

"you should come over more than," you said, meeting her gaze.

"maybe i should," natty murmured, shifting even closer to you.

you felt the warmth of her body pressed against yours, and despite the buzz in your system, you were hyperaware of it. natty had always been flirty, she was natty, after all, but this felt different.

"you're so much more confident than you were freshman year," you mused, tilting your head to look at her.

natty smirked. "hey, i've grown up some."

"i hope that didn't come off as offensive or anything," you said quickly. "it's just weird seeing you now compared to back then."

"this is why we should talk more," natty said, nudging you playfully. "so it's not such a drastic change."

you hummed, considering it for a second before holding out your hand. "give me your phone."

natty raised an eyebrow but didn't hesitate to pull it out of her pocket and hand it over. you quickly typed in your number, naming yourself 'my angel 🪽' a throwback to when you first met at a halloween party, where you happened to be dressed as an angel, and natty wouldn't stop calling you that all night after you helped her skip the line.

natty glanced at the name and grinned, sliding her phone back into her pocket. "what if you just... didn't get a ride home tonight?"

you looked at her, amused. "and what would my other option be?"

"you could always stay the night with me," natty said smoothly. "i'll even let you have my bed."

you narrowed your eyes. "will you also be in your bed?"

"there's a chance," natty replied, her smirk deepening.

you pretended to think about it, biting your lip. "tempting," you admitted. "but i can't just ditch belle and julie."

"they can stay too," natty said instantly.

you raised an eyebrow. "do you have that much space in your bed?"

"huh? oh— i mean, i have a king, so yeah," natty said, then immediately realized how that sounded. "wait—that's not what i meant—"

"too late," you smirked. "you just offered your bed to all of us."

natty groaned, dragging a hand down her face. "well, it could be worse. at least it's you guys and not those two losers." she tilted her head toward zhanghao and hanbin, who were currently half-slumped on the couch, giggling at something on hanbin's phone.

"i heard that!" zhanghao called out, pointing lazily at natty.

"good," she shot back. "y'all aren't sleeping in my bed."

hanbin sat up slightly, fake-offended. "damn, so you're just playing favorites now?"

natty shrugged. "always have."

you laughed, shaking your head. "alright, alright. but seriously, if you're actually down, i don't mind staying over. i just don't want to impose."

"you're never imposing," natty said, nudging your knee with hers. "i'd actually like it if you stayed."

there was something about the way she said it, soft and genuine that made you pause. the teasing and jokes were fun, but this felt... real.

you held her gaze for a moment before nodding. "then i'm staying."

julie and belle, who had been half-listening while scrolling on their phones, finally looked up. “wait, so are we also staying?” belle asked.

“sadly… yes,” natty said.

“how y’all doing over there?” you asked, even though you were all in the same bed. there was an obvious amount of distance between you and the rest of the girls because you refused to join their cuddle session.

“don’t think i don’t notice all that space you have,” julie called out. “i will make my way over there, and that’s a threat.”

“stay over there with your cuddle buddies,” you shot back, shifting even further toward the edge of the bed.

“it’s crazy because i invited none of y’all,” natty said, shaking her head.

“i was not letting you take y/n to your bed alone,” julie said, sounding way too smug about it.

“cockblock,” natty mumbled under her breath.

“y/n, please let me come over there,” natty whined, looking past julie to where you were. “i can’t be between them.”

“but i’m comfortable like this,” you groaned, curling up under the covers.

“if i get kicked in my sleep, i’m kicking back. we’re all gonna wake up with bruises,” julie warned.

“then stay your ass over there away from me,” natty shot back.

“as long as everybody stays away from me, we’re good,” belle muttered.

“you’ve been trying to cuddle me for the last ten minutes,” natty retorted.

“i keep forgetting you’re there,” belle laughed.

“can we please switch spots?” natty begged.

“i’m just clingy,” belle shrugged.

“you can come next to me, babygirl,” you said teasingly, patting the open spot beside you.

belle immediately perked up. “see? at least y/n loves me.” she wasted no time, crawling over to your side and snuggling into you.

“that was supposed to be me,” natty whined dramatically.

“we can all cuddle together,” you said, moving closer toward julie to make room.

“oh nah,” julie said instantly, trying to shuffle away but only ending up trapped by natty.

“switch spots with me, then,” natty bargained. “if you don’t wanna be part of it, let me in.”

“you didn’t wanna be a part of it before, so you can’t be now,” belle said, tightening her hold on you just to be petty.

natty groaned. “this is so unfair.”

“should’ve been quicker,” you teased, leaning into belle. “i hate it here,” natty mumbled, flopping onto her back dramatically.

BACK | MAIN | NEXT

TAGLIST 🪩 @saysirhc @wintersgff @sixflame438 @1luvkarina @ihrtantn @yeetaberry127 @urmom2314 @vrtualstar @sed7ction @inybits @ellezra @meganskiendielsbtc @firstclassjaylee @modanisgf @kristalag @chaepu @wtfisthisnoclueman @xochitlisbest @taikabui @hotluvlet

[omgfangirlland]

Okay so to add to the superfam x neglected! reader! What if the reader is an absolute nerd with engineering (mechanical, computer, electronics, software, and robotics) and as they slowly grew comfortable with Lex Luthor, they just found themselves yapping away about the functions of the Omnitrix, interesting projects they're working on, and what they want to do yk. Like this girl went from quiet, demure, shy who is not used to attention to someone who could talk Lex's ears off for HOURS, and he isn't even mad??? All her ideas are pretty interesting and it's also nice to see her just be in her element. The superfam being regretful because they didn't know Reader could talk this much or be so bright about something. Lois feeling immense guilt because she got so used to the easy way of not having to worry about injuries because Jon, Kon, and Clark don't that she forgot her daughter didn't inherit any of the indestructableness

Also!!! As Reader slowly got used to actually have an adult pay attention to her and encourage her with her interests, plus the praise she receives with her hero persona, she just became more confident. Idk it's like 1 am and the drabble was too good

-🪻

I want to start with the Ben10 reader x Invincible- I don't really feel the vibe for it- like Debbie has bitten into Nolan for not being happy for powerless kiddie Mark, and she'd do it again, and Nolan honestly just gave "angry because I'm getting attacked" vibes. But it'd be funny to see how shocked Battle Beast would be to see a youngling of his race try and battle him :)))

Also- Dad!Lex honestly just gives PTA Mom vibes to me-

(This and the 3 other Tony Stark!Reader stories I read are slowly making me want to do a TS!Neglected!Reader x batfam, Bruce would lose it at his daughter being so much like Brucie and so little like Bruce)

I'M HAPPY Y'ALL LIKE MY RAMBLING!! Most of the time I feel like it has no rhythm or reason :))

Lex: My kid is a mastermind in robotics and alien tech, on her way to have a greater empire than mine- What can your monkey-brained son do besides chase a ball, Janet?!

You: I don't even go here... I don't even know this woman.

Like, once this man gets attached, he goes crazy. He has an important business meeting at the same time you have a school event? At best, he's video chatting from your school, screaming mid-sentence that you did great, or at worst, not even present in the meeting.

Because let's be honest- rich man who knows how to act and can provide proof of neglect vs an above middle class family who didn't even know where the kid was? The rich man wins.

And sure, you may hate it at first, think it's a ploy to get back at Superman, because why would an adult actually care for you? But instead of lowering the anti-supers measures he has in place, he triples them. He asks about school shit, nags you about homework, if you ate, "You shouldn't sit for so long in front of a screen."

It drove you crazy. And you started acting out- missing homework, having sleepless nights, arguing with him over the smallest shit, until he called you for a serious talk. You were ready for him to tell you to pack your shit and go- but he just asked if everything was fine at school. "Because this isn't you."

Your lip may have trembled, but you refuse to acknowledge that you cried, that tears were even a concept. After hugging, definitely not crying in his arms, you got better- even if he suspended you from hero activity for a year "because you should have just come to talk to him" but whatever-

And boy does all of this fuck with the family. Not every place is anti-super proof, so they hear you talking his ear off at the restaurant he takes you to for the weekly family outing, or to celebrate whatever you made that day. And it builds the anger and guilt.

Lois started stalking Lex, not what she'd call it, but she was. Because she knew you wouldn't be far away. And it was amazing to see you talk about whatever machine-thingy-robot- whatever it was. It hurt to realize what she's been missing, and it hurt even more to see you smile so brightly and proudly at the man who, for years, has tried to ruin the family.

And when Jon sees you out and about and tries to follow after you, wanting his sis back, he loses track of you. Lex just finds a note stating that the cloaking tech works, but after 30 seconds, it fried. He doesn't ask, he already knows. But if you told him, he would obediently listen.

Kon is straight up thinking Lex brainwashed you. He refuses to believe you're doing that out of your own free will and is actively plotting with Tim and Young JL.

It was eerie how much you resembled Kon in his early days as "the real, new Superman" but the difference was in the way you actually were strategic in your flirting. Just enough to charm, but not enough to insinuate a possibility of more. Not that Lex would allow anyone to sniff around you, he has a strict list of requirements for the ideal one, and he's sure no one will hit all of them.

Honestly- he may as well start creating an android, the perfect one, to be the right lover. You shut that idea down quick. "Feels wrong to create an android and take away its free will. There are so many movies and games about why that's a bad idea."

All he hears is to create an android with another main mission, and just let the thing fall in love with you on its own. He has mad confidence in your rizz, mainly because he thinks you are the prize, and anyone not seeing that is crazy or blind. (*caugh* the superfam *caugh*) You could also do no wrong in his eyes, could kill everyone, and he'd still be like "lil baby, innocent, sweet thing", but that's another discussion.

This man will need to take calming pills if you show interest in JL members, aliens like Rook Blonko and Ester, or the witch Charmcaster.

You and Lex:

[a-man-in-the-crowd]

THOUGHTS! THOUGHTS!

no bc i was so paranoid the entire time that something bad was gonna happen, the sigh of relief i let out at the end of the episode (even if monty is DEFINITELY gonna cause problems)

okay i'm not gonna bother trying to ss a gif but THE DEAD BODIES ON THE FLOOR UNDERNEATH THE HOUNDS?? WHAT THE FUCK??

i was TERRIFIED for pluto for a second bro 😭

NO EULALIE GUYS NO COME BACK

okay so the fact it seems EVERYONE is getting backstory this season makes me a little less scared for the posh gang like yeah okay that's just the VIBE of this arc guys it's fiiinneee

also i squealed in delight at those outfits THOSE DRESSES ARE SO PRETTY?? THESE CHARACTER DESIGNS ARE GORGEOUS?? THE COLOURS?? i'm not entirely sure if these outfits give more 40s or 50s i might actually look into that more some other time (that is, if somebody else doesn't get to it first LOL)

[EDIT: one of them is pregnant, another is getting married, so it's probably the 50s! but also this could've been before the war, or before america joined the war??]

y'all why is every character so relatable this can't be happening rn 😭 eulalie i wanna give you a big hug.

i'm thinking maybe she did end up follow through on the tutoring thing, or perhaps she did the paranormal investigator thing and a bunch of orphans ended up clumping together with her?? did she just start an orphanage?? hmm

YEAAAH PLUTO GO KING ILY YOU'RE MY ICON MY LEGEND MY MOMENT SJDJSF MWAH MWAH

okay i've been wanting to say this for a WHILE ever since i re-read the maze arc for that trans pluto post but i never really had the opportunity: i think the reason pluto's footsteps are so quiet is because in life he had to sneak around his own home because of his dad. i really wanna talk more about pluto and his trauma but i don't think we know enough about him for me to make any meaningful analysis. i'll probably wait till i can see more of pluto this arc to go back to this thought.

NO WAY?? WILL??

WILL WILL WILL HI WILL!! yo my faves (pluto and will) are in a room again. what could go wrong!

also the way will immediately apologizes AND THE SHARED 'OWWWW' WAS SO FUNNY I LOVE THEM I'M IN LOVE WITH THEM THEY'RE MY POOKIES.

i like the difference in eulalie's reaction to will and eulalie's reaction to monty. she didn't mind will's presence bc without monty he seems harmless, but monty can go die in a fire (HA. i'm so funny). i wonder if that opens up the possibility of more eulalie-will interactions, i think that'd be interesting to explore since out of everyone, eulalie's been shown to be the nicest to will.

PLEASE THEIR FACES THEY FUCKING HATE THIS MAN. duke wanting to throw him off a balcony frfr. and the card reference ily monty.

i take it back stfu monty (jk i still love him but please shut up bro 😭). i was talking about the episode 115 thumbnail to my friend and my commentary on it probably is fitting over here: wtf does he have to be cocky about literally anyone could throw him to the hounds at any moment wipe that smug smirk off your face you dumbass.

lenore/morella/berenice trio goes crazy 👀 excited to see where that goes, although it seems like that'll take a while

and, of course, my weekly check in on the fast pass thumbnails

MONTY FLASHBACK?? LET'S GO???

[writerformanymuses]

y'all be giving armand and lestat way too much credit sometimes. like, sure, they're centuries-old vampires with superhuman powers capable of toppling empires if they didn't often share a singular brain cell named louis de ponte du lac.

i'm all for the show's angsty gothic vibe, but I'm sorry y'all as a book reader... that's twit and twat to me. give them a hug and a sippy cup. ain't a mastermind in sight. just some lonely, horny, and disastrous autistic bitches, and we love them just the way they are.

[cosmicpearlz]

my love is mine, all mine (pt 3)

summary: just more glimpses into your relationship with jude :)

pairing: jude bellingham x reader

a/n: the wait is over! also, i would like to say thank you for getting me to 636 followers!! it means so much to me that y'all are enjoying my writing as much as i enjoy writing it <3

~one~

jude had been your best friend since you guys were kids. both families would go on vacations together. it wasn't time where you guys weren't attached to each other. secretly, you each wanted more. it seemed like the older you got, the more the feelings intensified. not that it would be said out loud.

"oh judey boy, i got a question for ya," you opened the door to his room, flopping on his bed with your chips, after you closed his door behind you. the boy groaned and rolled his eyes upon hearing the childhood nickname.

"when are you ever gonna give up that nickname?"

"hmm, i quite like the nickname."

"of course you do," jude takes the chip bag from you to grab a handful. "on with your question darling."

"i need you to be my date for a friend's wedding."

"no." you gasp and sat up right, ready to plead your case.

"jude c'mon, why not?" you whined, grabbing his arm in a weak attempt to give him puppy dog eyes.

"why can't you just go by yourself?"

"i don't wanna be the only person not bringing a plus one. please, be my date." hearing the word date, sent jude's stomach to flutter with butterflies. wishing it was a real date.

"why does it have to be me?"

"you're my best friend. we do almost everything together," you put on your best pout, batting your eyelashes at him. jude didn't know why he bothered arguing with you. he could never say no to you.

"fine."

"oh my goodness, you are a life saver!" you practically jump on top of him, pressing kisses to his cheeks. he laughs it off and pulls you into a hug. no wonder why people think we're dating.

"I'm not dancing though."

"deal," you stay wrapped in his arms, relishing in the fact that you don't have to ask a random person to be your date.

-

the wedding was beautiful. you definitely cried and jude was right there to dab your tears away. not that he had to but he wanted to. he always did. blame it on muscle memory.

"look everyone is slow dancing," you whisper to jude, while continuing to people watch. completely oblivious to the way jude was staring at you.

"lets dance then. don't wanna be the odd ones out."

"are you sure jude?"

"c'mon," he stands up from his chair, holding his hand out for you to take. you smiled, taking his hand and moving to the dance floor.

your arms settled their way around his neck, while his hands found the comfort of your waist. you guys swayed to the soft music that played in the background.

"have i told you that you look beautiful tonight?"

"and you sir, look very handsome," you meet his eye piercing gaze with a small smile.

"can i kiss you?" jude blurts out in a whisper. he watches your face to see if he possibly messed up the vibe or anything.

"god, you don't know long i waited for you to ask me."

"what? then why didn't you ask first?"

"are you going to kiss me or not bellingham?"

~two~

you watched tiktoks so often that you knew pretty much any trend that happened. being chronically online has always been your weak spot. you told jude that you wanted to do another video. him being so used to it, he agreed immediately. you set up your camera, starting the timer countdown and sitting in your boyfriends lap.

"hey guys, it's me and jude again."

"hello," jude wraps his arms around your waist and puts his head on your shoulder.

"oh wait I forgot something in the living room. will you guys watch my boyfriend really quick?"

"watch your boyfriend? what'd mean by that?"

"they're gonna watch you and i'll be back love," you kissed his cheek and got up. walking out of the room, not going too far. just out of jude's eye sight.

the first couple of minutes were filled with awkward silence. jude was looking everywhere but the phone that sat against the vanity mirror. it was hard for you to not burst out into laughter right there.

"have i ever told you guys how me and y/n met? it's possibly my favorite story."

"she was here in madrid for her exchange student program and visiting the football stadium. there was no one there because it was closed to outsiders. she of course didn't know that and was just wondering away," he takes a second to let out a laugh.

"i seen her before she seen me. the only thing i could think about is how pretty she was. it was cute because she looked so lost and i knew i had to talk to her."

jude had never told you this story. it made your heart swoon at the fact that two years ago and your boyfriend still remembered how you guys met. you decided to walk back into the room. sitting yourself back in his lap.

"baby, you were gone for forever."

"sorry about that. what'd you talk about?"

"that's for us to know and you to find out later," jude kisses your cheek, making you laugh at his weirdness.

"yeah whatever jude," you shake your head with another smile.

"also, stop doing tiktok trends on me."

"never!"

~three~

the fenty beauty lip gloss in the shade fenty glow was your staple piece. the nude brown shade was something that went with every outfit. you've been obsessed with it ever since the shade first came out. it never mattered how many lip gloss or lipstick products you owned, that was your go to shade.

"jude have you seen my lip gloss?"

"which one?"

"the fenty one."

"last time i seen you with it was in the car."

"thank you babe," you place a kiss to his lips and run out to the car. you knew that you had to make the trip fast, in order to continue getting ready because you guys were already late.

you searched everywhere the lip gloss could have been in the car and came up empty handed. it wasn't in the cup holder, on the floor, in the dash board or even in the back seats. you locked the car back and walked in the house.

"you found it?"

"no, i think that i really lost it this time."

"aw i'm sorry to hear that love. we can get you a new one."

"don't bother. it's currently sold out right now," you mumbled and pouted. "it's not the end of the world though. i'll just wear one of the other lip glosses i have," you disappeared to your shared room.

-

one thing your boyfriend never did was give up. not when it came to football, video games and definitely not when it comes to you. he had his mom take him to almost every makeup store, just to find the lip gloss. when he finally found it, he let out a relaxed breath. he bought two, just to be sure you had a backup.

"baby, I have a surprise for you!" you heard jude say from down the hallway, in a sing-song voice. looking up from your phone, you find your boyfriend standing in front of you, with his hands behind his back.

"should i be nervous? what's the surprise?"

"why would you be nervous?" you shrug your shoulders, with a pointed look.

"i dunno, you do some strange shit sometimes."

"hey, that's rude."

"it's just a fact baby."

"anyways, as i was saying before i got insulted by my girlfriend," jude dramatically rolls his eyes, causing you to laugh at his antics. "close your eyes and hold your hands out."

you do as he told you. in less then a minute, the boy drops a small bag into your hands.

"you can open now," opening your eyes, they land on the ulta bag in your hands.

"what's this?"

"open it darling."

inside the bag was your favorite lip gloss. two of them to be exact. your jaw dropped and you looked at your boyfriend in awe.

"babe, how?"

"i had my mom drive to me the makeup stores to find it. it took a while but i got it!" you got up from your seat, pulling your boyfriend into a tight hug.

"you're the sweetest boy ever."

"anything for my sweet girl."

~four~

with jude being a popular football player and on the new cover of fc25, ea sports wanted him to do a twitch stream playing the new game as a teaser. they gave him the setup he needed to put up in his room.

"hello everyone," jude says, while putting on the headset that the company loaned him. "woah this is so weird. i've never done this before."

jude watched the chat go crazy. it was almost overwhelming with the amount of people that were watching and commenting. "someone said 'where's y/n?'. she's currently out with my mom, so she's gonna be out for a while. maybe she'll say hi later."

"saying 'we like her more than you' is absolutely mad. y'all are here for me not my girlfriend!"

for the next hour jude sat in the gaming chair, playing the game. talking and interacting with the chat once in a while. he was so engrossed into the game that he didn't even hear the front door close.

you made your way to the shared room. not realizing that jude was streaming because it had slipped your mind. having a girls day with denise was always fun. you guys went out for brunch and did some shopping afterwards. although, you didn't come home with much. just a new coach bag that you've been eyeing and a bracelet from pandora.

"that's a load of fucking shit! i passed the ball and the stupid player didn't get it in time," you froze behind jude, watching the boy yell at his setup. you knew that you were about to laugh at him, suddenly he whipped his head towards you.

"oh hello darling. how was your day?" jude said, giving you a bright smile. you immediately broke and laughed in his face. after a couple of seconds, he joined in on the laughter. completely forgetting about the paused game.

"what's so funny?"

"you were literally yelling and then you turn all sweet on me," you mange to get out, with giggles that couldn't stop coming.

"they want you to come say hi," you walked over to him, taking a seat in his lap. the boy's hands found their place around your waist. beginning to lightly tap the side of your hips with his fingers.

"hi everyone, sorry to come in like this. i totally forgot this was happening today."

"they are asking you how your day was love," jude's eyes following the fast paced chat.

"my day was great! i had brunch with his mom and then we went shopping. i bought this coach bag that i've looking at lately. i even got some charms to put on it. then i got a new bracelet from pandora," you smiled into the camera, as you retold your day. jude's smiling face began to fade into a light frown.

"are you talking about that cherry bag?"

"yes."

"i was gonna buy that for you as a surprise. thanks a lot y/n," you turned to face jude, watching as he gave you a frown. the dramatics this man will go through.

"how was i suppose to know?"

"you weren't, that's the point of a surprise. you need to stop being so fast and learn patience."

"whatever jude," you playfully roll your eyes, hiding the smile that you had.

"y'all see how dramatic he is?"

"that's uncalled for."

"i think chat agrees with me," you say, looking at how everyone in the comments were agreeing with you.

"it's not fair, they like you more than me. they'll agree with almost anything you say against me," you laughed at his whining and kissed his cheek. jude will always be jude.

[aeshttp]

bf kenma x GN! reader hcs. + sum hcs of just kenma

lit rally like a cat, just lounges around the house either asleep or on his switch

CONSTANTLY needs to be near you, he's very clingy!!

loves wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder

will also just koala hug you cuz yeah

pampered princess?? he gives me princess vibes (he is the prettiest princess)

love language is physical touch and quality time

y'all could be doing anything together and he'd be happy

totally makes you in the sims and it's especially embarrassing when you find out he did it during the crushing stage

so funny on text y'all he can be dry and he'll still have you cracking up

first date was at an arcade and he got you a plushie from the claw machine as a souvenir (it took 3 hours but it was WORTH it)

crosses his legs when he sits at his gaming set up and has atrocious posture

I'm sorry HE EXPERIENCES YT BOY RAGE 😭 he will cuss you out on mic 🙏🏾

either sleeps through a hurricane or wakes up from a cough no in-between

GETS SICK EASILY?? he hates how groggy it makes him feel but loves when you pamper him and he can just stay in bed and plays games

sticks out his tongue to tease you

THE CUTIE PATOOTIE

[erenfox]

RANKING SBG SHIPS BECAUSE LOKI GAVE US ALL FREE WILL 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥

Aidlyn/Ashden: good lord the chemistry. the 'he fell first but she fell harder' trope. the lil gestures by aiden. him annoying tf out of her but also becoming very caring when she's hurt. I'M SO CALM RN GUYS. and the fact that them ending up together is inevitable lmfao XD 9/10

Benlor: FUCKKK IM SERIOUSLY NOT OK THESE TWO ARE JUST SO PURE AND SWEET TO EACH OTHER. ESPECIALLY TAYLOR TOWARDS HIM, cuz he kinda suppresses his feelings and is a sad boi :( dw ben taylor's gonna make you feel happy again fosho lmao 😭 the lil blushing ben always does around taylor! her supporting his ideas even tho they flop! her helping him calm down from barron through music! her always cheering him up whenever he's gloomy! her being the first to thank him for opening up! THEY'RE LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF SHE FELL FIRST BUT HE FELL HARDER! GOD IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM 😭😭😭 10/10

Tylenol/Tylo: i never thought of the prospect of them together, but post tumblr i must say its interesting. not just them being the single ones in the team, but i like the way tyler defended logan against barron, and his general protective aura around logan. but then again tyler was kinda rude to logan in the start. idk it just gives me the ick 4/10

Tyden: LMAO the continuous saga of them pissing tf out of each other. it would be fuckin hilarious if they somehow end up together. but apart from the general hilarious bickering, there's not too much to it 5/10

Tayden: goddamn their friendship is so precious!! her painting his nails? her carrying him on his shoulders in dat one artwork?PURE BESTIE VIBES they just match each other's freak lmfao. 8/10

Logden: meh there are not any significant moments between these two. 1/10

Loglor/Taygan: no but why can i actually see this happening lol. the way theyre both so gentle around each other! then the way she was the first to help him when he got slashed by the phantom? and also the way she stood up for him when tyler was being rude? AND the lil hugs they give each other which none of the duos in the gang give? Cute af! 7/10

Benlyn: ooh the two quiet people of the gang! they could work out really well bcoz they definitely understand each other's struggles with muteness and phantom hearing respectively. plus that panel of ben braiding ashlyn's hair was so cute lmao :> 7/10

Loglyn: AAA they have sm potential!!! before the events of yk the whole ✨sAvAnNaH✨ mess, i feel like they wouldve been each other's only existing acquaintance they may call friends (ik it's not canon but it's very plausible lol) 6/10

Benlo/Logben: theyd definitely be good together, it's just that my sbg memory is failing to recall any significant moments b/w them ;-; if y'all remember pls do tell 2/10

Tyben: what is with the hernandez siblings always ending up being bens biggest supporters lmao XD it's a cute dynamic honestly 4/10

Taylyn: now this is one freakin adorable ship TvT. the way taylor always had a slight pang of concern for a friendless lonely ashlyn when they were kids? and the way they quite frankly became besties after enduring all the phantom world shit? very sweet, both platonic and romantic lmao 6/10

Tylyn/Ashler: i have been usurped into the tylyn propaganda by @tragedry honestly I DO NOT COMPLAIN. like holy fuck they're so enemies to lovers! them "loathing" each other, fighting for leadership, but then immediately becoming possibly the biggest protectors of each other in times of danger??? extremely wholesome lmao i love them smmm 9/10

SO THE TOP SHIPS ARE:

4. tie b/w TAYGAN and BENLYN (the rarepairs that just make sense) 😌👌

3. TAYDEN (the crack ship) 😈🔥🥉

2. tie b/w TYLYN and AIDLYN (the wholesome ships) 😍❗🥈

1. BENLOR (THE PUREST SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE GOOFS EVERR I-) 🥺❤🥇

[oishitea]

Doing the lazy version of the music tag meme. I can't remember everyone who tagged me but thanks for doing it! I don't get repeat playlists so I'm just giving some recent "songs I've been playing a lot" recs:

This album:

Yeah the whole album. I love Ice Paper. I don't know what most of his music is about because I don't speak Mandarin and translations are either hard to find or difficult to really understand or know the accuracy of, but the vibes are great.

This song is helping me slowly unlearn people pleasing habits. Thanks Jackson 💕💕

This is the only thing that makes me care about my astral sign, anything else doesn't count or fit. But Wooyoung made this for me and it's love and a hug and uplifting and actually I will make it through the day 🥺 y'all know this though, I posted the audio here for a reason lol

RECESSION PARTY MUSIC IS BACK AND I'M SO HERE FOR IT

Sometimes I need chaotic Swedish techno rap. As one does.

I've loved this song and its video ever since it came out. It's just so cute!

This is just such a beautiful song. A good one for relationships that need a bit of switching things up but also reassurance that the love is still there

They're definitely my current favorite metal band. Thank you Dev Patel for having taste and putting them in Monkey Man and letting me find them

That's only 8 (if you don't count that one of them is a whole album) but that's all my brain can do right now

@thisautistic @baseballmomlesbiandad @chaeul @dramas-vs-novels @thamepo @i-got-the-feels @scarefox

[eagans]

tag game ✨ get to know me!

ohhh boy this one is long 😳 tagged by @ronandreams, @bobyelena, @oh-god-a-four, @gemmafuckingscout, and @spareham 😚💖 you know.... in canto when you get asked a laundry list of personal questions we call it 查家宅 which is like, what people would do when considering prospective dating/marriage candidates….. 👀 ok besties twirls my hair (jk but honestly i didn't do this one at first just cuz i didn't think my answers would be very interesting LOLLL but ok if y'all insist 🙂‍↕️)

1 ) are you named after someone? noooope. and i already have an uncommon family name but my dad also took it upon himself to give me the most unheard of names ever so i'm honestly convinced that i'm the only person on earth with my real life first+last name combos jksdhjk lmao

2 ) when is the last time you cried? last week probably

3 ) do you like your handwriting? no but i'm trying to unlearn that shame fr!!!!

4 ) what is your favorite lunch meat? don't rlly have a preference/don't eat them much but also ☝️ luncheon meat in this bad boy....

5 ) do you have kids? nah, but i guess my dog counts <3

6 ) if you were another person, would you be friends with you? maybe! we'd probably argue a lot tho.... 🤪

7 ) do you use sarcasm? sometimes, i feel like it's my brand of humour

8 ) do you still have your tonsils? i had to go check... yes

9 ) would you bungee jump? i kinda want to but also maybe not

10 ) what is your favorite kind of cereal? djkasf ALL OF THEM. cereal saved my life fr when i was studying abroad 🫡

11 ) do you untie your shoes when you take them off? almost never

12 ) do you think you're a strong person? independent yes... idk about strong tho

13 ) what is your favorite ice cream flavor? this is super specific but growing up my dad would allllways get the häagen-dazs macadamia nut flavour because it's HIS favourite.... so i'm kinda pavlovian conditioned for that shit.... but also pistachio, any chocolate flavours, and oreo! OH AND DURIAN

14 ) what is the first thing you notice about people? their.... vibe xD

15 ) red or pink? red red red

16 ) what do you least like about yourself physically? leah is right we are NAWT doing this 🙅🏻‍♀️

17 ) what color pants and shoes are you wearing now? beige pajamas and slippers..... it's 11pm 😂

18 ) what was the last thing you ate? noodles... always love me a good bowl of noodles

19 ) what are you listening to right now? my fan (it's so loud rahh)

20 ) if you were a crayon, what color would you be? yellow 💛

21 ) favorite smell? gray ur so real for this actually.... i LOVE my dog's smell

22 ) who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my dad

23 ) favorite sport to watch? don't watch sports

24 ) hair color? black but half of it is still dyed brownish

25 ) eye color? dark brown/black

26 ) do you wear contacts? nah they don't rlly work well for me cuz of the astigmatism... plus i love my glasses!!

27 ) favorite food to eat? too many to list truly

28 ) scary movies or comedy? i can't rlly do scary movies but most comedies also don't sit well with me.... sjdhdkjd ik ik, but okay comedy if it's good 2 me!!!

29 ) last movie you watched? jurassic world.... we are relapsing on a 10 year old hyperfixation

30 ) what color shirt are you wearing? white

31 ) summer or winter? depends on the place truly. spending (some portion) of the last two summers in europe made me REALLY fond of summer but summers back home are super hot and humid and uncomfortable

32 ) hugs or kisses? hugs but only from ppl i feel safe with <3

33 ) what book are you currently reading? i haven't picked up the books that i am 'currently reading' in months so can i rlly call them that 😭

34 ) who do you miss right now? my friends... been crashing so hard lately and don't see them enough :'

35 ) what is on your mouse pad? sorry it's gotta be trackpads for me

36 ) what is the last tv program you watched? the new murderbot adaptation

37 ) what is the best sound? ohhh... (wait i posted this without answering LMAOO) this is truly so hard to answer but anyway LOVE SOUNDS!!!!!

38 ) rolling stones or the beatles? i am not familiar enough with either to have an opinion lmao

39 ) what is the farthest you have ever traveled? europe

40 ) do you have a special talent? well it's not that special on this website but making connections LOLLL see: my endless web weaves 🫱

41 ) where were you born? hk :)

42 ) people you expect to participate in this? alright gonna tag a few friends but TRULY no pressure this one is a loot lol @helen-norvilles-female-rage, @julesnichols, @lumons, @lanistas, @bromcommie, @hellyrigs, @delphines 🥰 mwah <3