#I'm done with this crap.
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My fucking therapist just sent me a text that basically reads "ure sad bc u made horrible life choices and are a horrible person :)"
I'm so breaking up with her lol I'm fucking done
#First strike was the fucking confrontation she did with me basically treating me like a stupid toddler#Second strike was her inability to actually show up for sections#Third strike was threatening to call my parents like I'm a fifteen year old child#And now she says this shit?#Yeah girl the chronic disease is totally my fault#The pandemic that forced me to move away and made me lose contact with most of my friends was also my fault!#The 25 years with undiagnosed autism was also my fault#The unemployment? My fault too. I'm stupid and lazy#What a joke.#The only thing that is my fault is that I'm actually paying you#I don't even know if I will keep doing therapy after this shit show.#This is the second therapist that tries to throw all the blame on me being lazy#One therapist broke up with me for 'health reasons' yeah sure girl.#I'm done with this crap.#Therapy doesn't work#Medication doesn't work#Exercise doesn't work#Looking at the sun and butterflies doesn't work#Getting a job doesn't work#Im finishing my post graduation studies#Moving back in with my parents#Working at the farm until I'm thirty#And then I'm offing myself#Since everything is my fault the world will be a better place without me in it that's for sure :)#Love me an expiration date of uuuhh#[checks calendar]#Four years!#Hell yeah only four more years to go I'm sooooooo done besties#How should I do it? Jump in front of a truck? Overdosing? Jk I'm going for hanging
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Hi there :) what does this rewrite entail? Will the torture backstory still be a thing because that was good drama
All the major plot points are the same! The rewrite is just for expanding + rearranging the story, not actually retconning anything major :)
#answered#rn I'm hammering the CRAP out of the Nikke/Jost fight in Chapter 1 + Nikke's POV#and then theoretically hypothetically possibly it will be done...
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I'm so fucking tired of nearly every emoji creator having some form of drama attached to them. It's gotten worse this year. So much worse. This space has become so toxic and hateful when it should be loving and uplifting. All the ones that actually are loving and uplifting either go ignored yet post away or give up after a few months and just disappear with an abandoned blog or randomly deactivate.
I want to preserve content and provide for those that need it, but there's so many creators that I just can't turn a blind eye to shit for anymore that this blog would be basically empty if I stopped platforming those bad apples. This shit is why I'm so goddamned burned out. This isn't even a community anymore. Just a popularity contest of "who can I hurt more?", "who can steal the most?", "who can recover from the most cancellations?" (looking you in the eyes Custom-emojis). I'm over the middle school/high drama of it all. Why can't y'all just create art in peace and help those that need this for accessibility? Why make it a fucking thing?
I'm so disappointed and ashamed of so many of you. I'm 25. I'm too old for this shit. A chunk of y'all are too old to be acting this foolish. Get your shit together or you just might see my retirement soon. I'm done with y'all.
PS: To those in the community that are good noodles and actively help me: I see you and I appreciate y'all so much. You make my days on this hellsite and Discord so much more bearable. Know this is not about y'all. You're wonderful. Keep doing you.
#updates#custom emoji#custom emojis#custom emote#custom emotes#discord emoji#discord emojis#discord emote#discord emotes#emoji#emojis#emote#emotes#i don't care if Heretics sees this. I've been tired of their shit for years at this point and only reblogging what was actually useful#didn't block them because i was thinking about those that could actually use their stuff but after their recent crap? i don't care#i can only take so much y'all. i have no job. no money. and no fucks left. y'all fuck around y'all find out at this point. I'm done
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Big shot Spamton being flirty but failing on the attempt, pathetically.
(Ps. I take this opportunity to say I love your art! It's very inspiring for me and I bet for others too. ^∇^)💖💖
Credit: Text Box Generator
(Thank you for the compliment! (⁀ᗢ⁀))
#my art#ask answered#answered#spamton g spamton#spamton#big shot spamton#big shot era#deltarune#This should have been done weeks ago but I've had too much crap happen#I'm pretty amused how this one turned out#poor pathetic man/pos#idk who to pick as a subject of his flirting so feel free to use your imagination XD#I just imagine it as some pretty stranger#not anyone that would stick around in his life unfortunately!
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I've been seeing a post on my dash where some USAmerican tumblrina feels sorry for the rest of the world because we don't have Halloween, and that we should steal it for ourselves, too.
I just... uuuugggghhh. Dear worried USAmerican tumblrina: please do not feel sorry for us, at least not about that particular issue.
Like. As far as Finland goes (but I'm 100% certain this applies to a bunch of other countries all over the globe too), our supermarkets and our shopping centres are trying their absolute hardest to shove Halloween down our throats. They really, really try. From Halloween themed doughnuts to Halloween balls and Halloween garlands (for our Halloween trees?? I really have no idea), it's all over the place. It may not actually be celebrated to the extent it is in the US, but it certainly cannot be escaped, and as long as there's plastic crap to sell, it's not going away.
If I could, I'd shove all that nonsense into a cargo container and return it to where it came from. But I can't! You'll catch me dead before you'll catch me buying a Halloween themed Runeberg torte, though.
#and I'm saying all this as someone who likes the Halloween aesthetic and the spooky scary skeletons and all that!#also I'm not saying Halloween is not *celebrated* here at all. there are Halloween parties and even some trick-or-treaters#I think the parties are fine. they predate the commercialization actually#I remember a friend threw a Halloween party when we were kids and we did cute little homemade vampire looks#that was fun! that was a good time!#but all the plastic crap that's being sold to us these days that sheds microplastics when you as much as look at it? that's not fun#and trick-or-treating is not super fun either because we already have a native go-door-to-door-begging-for-candy holiday before Easter#call me an old curmudgeon but twice a year is too much. no child needs that amount of sugar; no adult needs to have that amount of goodwill#so if anyone tries that imported nonsense at my door I will 100% not open. maybe yell at them through the door to piss off if they persist#td;dr: sometimes I just feel so done with the way USAmerican culture is shoved down our throats all the time everywhere
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my friend invited me to go with them to a show tonight
and the thing is it was not good. it was a cabaret with some amazing circus acts but each of them got like. 5-10 minute slots. and were interspersed with 20+ minutes EVERY TIME of some of the most tedious standup work I have ever seen from the MC and the same 5 physical comedy bits repeated ad nauseum. this guy literally did a Borat bit. in the year of our lord 2024. he sang 2 entire rounds of the Family Guy theme.
and it just KEPT GOING. it was meant to be a 90 minute show, which imo is already a slog for a show starting at 11:30PM but within the bounds of reasonable. it finished. at fucking 1:50 AM. ALMOST TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF THIS SHIT. and it did not help that the 5 bits were all of the 'OH NO SOMETHING HAS DISRUPTED THE SHOW' variety which is funny for a bit, less funny when you're literally 45 minutes past the end of your scheduled finish and still fucking going.
HOWEVER. what I did not realise was that this was in fact. my friend's favourite comedian. and if I had known this I might not have gathered up my stuff and walked out during the curtain call and probably would not have announced on the way out, 'that was the most tedious fucking thing I have ever endured.' and I almost certainly, when someone overheard me complaining about the length and tedium and said 'yeah it ran a bit long huh,' have replied, at the actual near-shouting top of my voice, "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."
I feel. bad for spoiling the show for them.
in my defence I have been very tired this week, I got home at 2:30 AM, and raked seating really hurts my hips so I was in agony by the end of the first hour. but mostly I'm just a bitch who loves to hate tbh.
#red said#it was so fucking MINDNUMBING though.#he kept doing the ohhh noooo I'm bombing kind of bit. which is tedious at the best of times but when you're playing to a sold out audience#of like. 750 people. who are inexplicably loudly delighted by every attempt at a joke. it moves past cringe and into wank#like fuck offfffff#he also kept drawing attention to people leaving and it's like first off if you don't want people to leave tell better jokes but also#MATE. if you were scheduled to finish at 1 and by 1:30 you're only 2/3 of the way through your setlist#you have WAIVED THE RIGHT TO EXPECT PEOPLE TO STAY#we agreed to stay for 90 minutes. not 2 hours.#what sucks is that the acts were REALLY good. mostly.#but even there they kind of fucked up bc their FIRST act whipped a rose out of Neil Patrick Harris' mouth with a bullwhip#ate fire. stripped fully naked. then set his erect cock on fire.#and it was fantastic but even aside from them then stopping the show DEAD for 30 more minutes of crap standup#how the FUCK is that the opening act? because the ONLY reason you should open with that is to set a tone of 'this will be wild'#but although the other acts were GOOD they were all. fully clothed trapeze and burlesque?#don't get me wrong. extremely high quality work. but if your opening act is a naked man setting his cock on fire and jacking off#your closing acts CANNOT be 'a man in a suit being very good at diabolo' and 'someone who has played the trumpet throughout the show#plays a trumpet solo'#like what is the ARC where is the MOMENTUM how is this fair on the other performers?#oh well she's done an amazing arial contortion routine but she DIDN'T. strip fully naked and set her genitals on fire.#PACING#GOD
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L + ratio + firebolt + quickened spell scorching rays
aka the sorcerer's gatling
#if the fire doesn't look the same it's bc one was done with outdated drivers and wonky pen pressure when my tablet crapped out after lineart#and the other was done properly after updating drivers on the old laptop (won't connect to the new one anymore ?? even screen off ??)#i'll let you guess which is which lmfao#kal#dnd kal#my art#sorcerer#i played him on thursday :] it was very fun to defend the city walls and grill the climbing enemies with burning hands#lowkey want to make him one of these summariezd character sheets ive done for my main campaign guys#i only play him occasionally but i'm considering it#lmk if you want to see that i guess ! ive got a lot of things to draw still
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Dinner time! And it's Mori's turn to cook. What does she make? Is she a good cook? Do you think the other companions look forward to her meals, or do they make themselves scarce when dinner time comes around?
So, here's the thing about Mori: she kind of hates a formal dinner. Historically, for her, an actual sit-down meal meant a dull and dreary affair with some Nevarran nobility who got very uppity about how they would be received by the Watch and who insisted on things like table manners and small talk. So even now, surrounded as she is by her friends, Mori tends to eschew the idea of formal dinner in every possible way.
This means that when she cooks, she tends to lean into a "make your own meal" sort of thing. She makes big tureens of rice or lentils and then puts out bowls of pickled veggies, roasted broccoli, chopped cucumber, etc., and throws in something like mushroom or chickpea fritters for a little protein. (She's not quite fully vegetarian like Emmrich is, but she doesn't particularly like meat either, so almost all of her dinners are meat-free.) Then she just gestures to all of it in a sort of "have at it" way LMAO.
She's also one of those people who, if they're all busy on the day that she is scheduled to cook, will just put out a tray of dry sausage and cheese and fruit and a bunch of recently-made flatbread with about six different dips and just lets everyone come in and grab something when they're hungry. Mori was always a scavenger rather than a meal-prepper, so this sort of thing really speaks to her sensibilities.
And I think that is especially appreciated by certain people! Neve, I think, especially likes having something that she can swing by and grab without a big to-do. But Mori is also one of those people who tends to, uh. have like one meal that they can eat forever??? So. She does not provide much in the way of VARIETY when it is her turn in the kitchen. Which I think drives Lucanis a little crazy. But Mori isn't cooking EVERY night, and she's made the same meal often enough that it's still flavorful and decent in terms of quality, so she doesn't get the same hesitant reception that, say, Harding does. 😬
#frenchy replies#mori ingellvar#datv rook#dragon age#oc crap#i like to think that mori isn't the GREATEST cook in the world#but that she's done this one thing enough that she's pretty good at it#she'll also take topping requests! even when privately she's like WHY would you want that in a rice dish!!!!#anyway thank you again for the questions!!#i got burnt out so i'm a little behind but it's nice to have them to come back to when i get a little inspiration!
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ʀᴏʟᴀɴᴅ - ʀᴇɴᴏᴡɴᴇᴅ ʟᴀɴᴅ
#sims 3#random crap#Oc: Roland Lynch#okay i think I'm done for now#next week I can probably get my set up back and real life will have calmed down a bit#will get to cathcing up then
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Derailing project of the moment, Project "Nephew's Birthday Gift" is... Technically done. Added side seams, because he's turning four, and pockets, because cool rocks exist.
I also kept the promise of it not taking up much space. It's about the size of a T-shirt, and I'm so very very tempted to just... Buy a T-shirt and play an innocent prank on the birthday boy.
And then the fiber craft demons struck, in the shape of a very charming man in the open air museum doing a demonstration with five dozen cards and sewing thread on a +5m inkle loom, and I decided nephew needs a knighty belt. Because that's what kindergartners care about: handmade decorative techniques that were available to people in the era. It's definitely not just that he wants a dress-up outfit to boink his brother on the butt with a toy sword in.
#nephew's birthday#knightcore#pazyryk kurhan phoenix#phoenix#embroidery#tablet weaving#sewing#all of this is technically machine washable at 30°C#my mom took measurements and they were... odd#so I chickened out on self drafting#this is a free children's winter coverall pattern#minus the sleeves#minus the zipper#with the center seam drawn straight down#and seam allowance added to the fold line#and then you just hem the bottom bits arm holes and neckline#leaving slits at the bottom and the neck#and smack a shield shaped applique on there#i reinforced every slit opening too#the mantra is very much that this is for a small active child#it will get played in#have I ever done tablet weaving before?#nope#that's why the start looks like crap#I'm also too pms-y to focus on the pattern so I am going by vibes#heraldry
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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i kinda find it really fucking gross how tankies will act like they're such huge allies to lgbtq people ackshully. because as we all know dictatorial so-called communist states were and are so tolerant of queer people protesting their rights
#political crap#not to sound like I'm implying liberalism isn't a flawed ideology here#but social liberals have led the charge for gay rights throughout history communists have only ever done it when it's fashionable#up until like the 80s the french communists called it 'a distraction from the overthrow of the capitalist system' or some bollocks#and what the maoists said about homosexuality was even worse#on a related note considering hungary czechoslovakia and afghanistan i don't think tankie ideology can ever be called anticolonial#they were just as keen on colonising as the western powers when it suited them
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#i'm nearly done with the stuff i wanted to draw last week#i have so many sketch ideas#funneling everything first before i move to more recent ideas#just silly situations#fnaf#springtrap#fnaf fanart#fnaf freddy#fnaf bonnie#fnaf chica#fnaf foxy#my lovely crap
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I came across this video that talks about how giving mundane, repetitive tasks for AI won't actually boost productivity like people claim it will and this angle just happens to also perfectly (partially) explain why the work life nowadays is a lot more demanding than it used to be and why 4-day work weeks are so effective.
The core idea is that by giving up the mundane tasks people give up low intensity, low threshold work that takes up a lot of an employee's time. This time that is freed is can supposedly be used on more demanding, high intensity tasks.
Now, I fully agree that some tasks really are better off automated because there is no end to pointless clicking. However, according to this video, giving up on the mundane tasks to only focus on high intensity tasks is counterproductive because high intensity tasks are obviously cognitively more draining. The mundane tasks that offered respite from the high intensity tasks are now gone so your brain has to go at 90% all the time instead of the occasional low 30% or so. The mundane tasks allowed you to still be productive while not having to commit to it so much.
There are multiple reasons as to why work life is so much more demanding these days compared to a few decades ago. Aiming for more growth, productivity, optimization as well as decrease in specialized roles and more cluttered job descriptions. But automation has for sure played a part. Machines can do things at a higher speed than a human can, maybe to the point where humans can't keep up. The working hours haven't really changed at all so people still need to work the same hours while having a bigger influx of high intensity tasks than before.
I think this also backs up the efficiency and benefits of a 4-day work week. It has been reported to be increasing both productivity and employee satisfaction in office jobs. For sure the time optimization plays one part and having to do the same amount of work in a shorter time drives for smarter scheduling and organization of work as well as cutting all those unnecessary meetings no one wants to participate. To me it just makes sense that instead of tiring your brain for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, you only do it for 4 and the three days are rest time which obviously lets your brain recharge from the corporate bullshit.
No one has actually done conductive research on AI's effects on productivity in this scale, people just assume it'll work like that because of simple logic. But humans are not machines. Human brain isn't built for infinitely increased productivity.
Now fucking wonder people are burning out. No fucking wonder competition is tougher, deadlines tighter and budgets stingier.
The more I kept thinking about this the more vicious the cycle becomes and eventually leads to economic collapse and I'm just both flabbergasted as well as fuming from the bullshit of the corporate world.
#ramblings#im not having a good time yall#Can you tell I'm#once again#fucking done with this crap? I'm running on sheer spite. Once that's gone idk what's left.
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Anyone got any idea how many tickets a suit takes? Do they comeback in rotation ever again? How long is one staying? Any strategy?
#i have 150+ tickets#tbf i did blow some in the past just to complete random crap suits because i was kinda basically done with these#i don't have 3 suits from that#and i dunno whenever i should hold back on first one and pull on second...#I'm saying the second one because i have that one's reflection#and i dunno if i pull for first one if i still have enough for seconds#SOMEBODY WITH CN HELP ME BUDGET🙏😭#egg.txt#nikkiverse#shining nikki#sn
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#i feel like shit#I can't get up and finish the things I have to#truly is costing me too much#really#I swear I'm trying#but I'm finding it harder and harder to get a shred of motivation#for what?#I don't even have a fucking purpose#nothing would change if I#just pooff#gone#not a single thing would change#I know#I'm not useful in anything#my friends wouldn't even notice#I know because they told me so#so why am I still here#I'm useless#I only subsist on mediocrity#no one needs me#why would they#im just a shitty useless and selfish piece of crap#They would be better off without me#they would be better off if I had never been here.#i should've done it many years ago lol#I would have given them all a favor#and saved them the time.#amyways#delete later#i really needed to get this out of my chest
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