#I'm doing this because I've been itching to make a poll

[yeyinde]

My WIP list is a scroll currently but all this talk about wilderness escapism has me yearning for the Pacific Northwest.

Feeling like a little au about shucking the unrelentingly clutch of everyday ennui and the the unrepentant existential dread of modern life by escaping into the wild where (surprise surprise) you meet the love of your life in a ramshackle cabin in the forest.

[wings-of-ink]

Hear ye, hear ye!

All of you who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 4 can send a big thank you to the Microsoft mayhem that happened on Friday. Because of it, I have had two entire, unprecedented, days off of work during which all I did was write and edit chapter 4! Stuff like this never happens to me either, so I ate it up. My work computer is still super broken too, so who knows what will happen tomorrow, lol.

So, chapter 4, barring anything disastrous that I do not yet foresee – is coming very soon. Like, any day this week soon. For now, I am looking for bugs and other errors until I feel comfortable getting the update loaded. I will also be updating the warning list and some things on the itch page. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something I wanted to do, and am having a hell of a time remembering what it was…

Anyway, if it interests you, more details below!

In going through some of the Google Error Reports, I had a couple that I either could not resolve or find.

It was reported that checking player stats in chapter 1 would not work – that it would flash only for a moment. I could not recreate this. If anyone else has seen this, please let me know.

In the end of chapter 2 where there are multiple ways to spend your time there seems to be some issues with how choices become unselectable after certain clicks and it just doesn't seem to function correctly. I have fixed the issues I have found, but could not recreate all of the instances that were reported. This section may get an overhaul in the future since I understand the coding a bit more now.

It was also reported that fonts are not changing. There is definitely a weird issue with this and it will take some time for me to sit down and hammer out. The fonts do change for me, but notably, I don't think they are switching to the correct font types. They don't even appear to be the same fonts from when I first starting this project, lol. This issue is on hold for now.

The last 2 bonus segments for the end of chapter 3 are being pushed aside for the time being. I kept finding myself feeling like I was hammering them into the chapter and it was a little exhausting. If I force it, it will be less enjoyable to read. The segments that are missing are the ones for hanging out with Zahn and Nathanael. Zahn's is easy to wiggle in elsewhere at least, but I'm not sure if Nathan's will make it in or not. We'll see, my motivation was purely for chapter 4, so now that it is ready to go, I'll have another crack at it before I drop or move them completely. They aren't super important to the story, but are just for fun (and if Oswin got his, it's only fair that Zahn gets theirs too). That last section of chapter 3 ended up way too long, so it may get adjusted later anyway.

As with any work in progress, I can't guarantee that your old saves will work. That's probably how we are going to have to roll for a bit until I really get things nice and smooth. Eventually, I will add an option to start from a later chapter and go through and make the (MANY) relevant choices to skip ahead. This may be implemented when Chapter 6 is ready to go since all the ROs will be available.

I also want to figure out how to implement named saves to make it easier for you to sort. I appreciate IFs that feature this, but I do not yet know how to do it, but I'm going to research. I like to play through with several MCs, and I'd like to offer enough info in the saves and/or Stats Menu that you can do this and easily know who you are playing as. Let me know what you would like most in the Player Stats Menu too. Note, that some options do not appear here until you choose them in the story.

Coming up…

Since Chapter 4 is down, I will soon be posting a big poll about future IFs. I've been compiling info for it here and there for a couple weeks on possible options for me to write in conjunction with God-Cursed. So, stay tuned for that in the coming days.

I will FINALLY get to my inbox in earnest as well! I will keep reaction asks paused until further notice since they take me the longest to answer. Feel free to still send in comments or quicker questions. If your question is too spoilery to answer, I will not be able to post about it.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well! I can't wait to see what you think of chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it. I'll get it out just as soon as I feel comfortable enough with it. ^_^

[tricitymonsters]

I know I put a lot of attention on Steam because of the sheer size of the marketplace and the effort Steam itself takes in marketing for devs but I really wanted to take a second to shout out TCM's numbers on itch.io because I really feel like the game found it's first platform there and I especially want to highlight what a great community it is for Indie Devs of all experience levels.

So I have TCM split up between 4 titles on itch- the main one is for all the new stuff and then each beta has it's own homepage. Downside, it kinda splits all my metrics up but the plus side its much easier to navigate for yall so I'll refrain from complaining lol.

Now given we started with just the Mori beta in late 2021, and added chapters slowly over time, here's where we're at right now.

Views: 312k

Downloads: 22.3k

Browser Plays: 35.6k

Ratings: 347

Collections: 5295

Comments: 189

So there are a couple really interesting things going on with this data. Let's analyze

Firstly, the numbers on the main chapter beat the *hell* out of the beta numbers. BUT this makes sense as more people are going to find the main game or PLAY the main game first at a vastly higher rate. So even though that game page has been up the least amount of time, it gets *by far* the most traffic. For example, if we take away the main page numbers, here's how the betas are doing on their own:

Views: 63.3k

Downloads: 5.4k

Browser Plays: 18.2k

Ratings: 133

Collections: 847

Comments: 42

So, if you were an indie dev posting your game on itch.io, these numbers should tell you to carefully consider how you're going to organize your game- especially if it comes in multiple parts. When I was going through the betas I did consider keeping everything on one page and therefore aggregating all of my traffic stats into one place but there are pros and cons.

Mostly, I went with separate pages because:

It's easier to organize files for downloads per character/game piece than to have a huge list of system-specific builds for every character that players have to scroll through. It's just hard to parse out.

Second, I thought that breaking up the chapters like this might help me better gauge each character's popularity via their stats. This... sort of worked. Because the Mori beta went up almost a year before Amir's, his numbers are MUCH higher and I have to be careful not to conflate that with his raw popularity. Another tricky note is that since Mori was the first chapter uploaded, many people will play his beta and then if they decide they're not into the game, won't play the other two characters, which again inflates Mori's numbers.

It was obvious in the gap after Spooktober 2021 and Amir's chapter that I had a project worth pursuing but the way I structured itch.io has made it hard to accurately gauge how popular exactly each character is.

Most of you know I'm running a popularity poll right now for some milestone art and while I expected Mori to lead (even with all the caveats I just listed, he does tend to be the most popular of the bunch) but I did not expect Akello to be *right* on his ass, even before weighing the patreon votes so.

Goes to show you that understanding structure and traffic trends can really go a very very long way to engaging your audience and build a stable, fun community around your game.

Another huge advantage to itch is that- in generalities- the community and ecosystem there is much kinder to beginner devs and passion projects. On steam, I'm taking up the same marketplace space as AAA multimillion-dollar games and while the eyeballs that comes with that is great for TCMs longevity hopefully, it also comes with the reality that I'm marking a queer niche adult visual novel right next to Mainstream Gamers. Now, I do want to be extremely clear that my experience with Steam so far has been really good- TCM has good and (more importantly) honest reviews, people have passed constructive critique to me and been extremely reasonable, I've managed to connect to some content curators who have similar tastes... But Steam is also the home to like. "Oooh Naur Woke Games Kill Art" Lists and stuff so. My experience on Itch is that- while some of that exists to a certain degree- the general ecosystem is much more forgiving and less sharply fractured.

I'm not sure that I would change anything I've done in the point leading me here so far, I think that by and large I've made the best choices I could given what I knew at the time and also managed to roll with the punches as the come but my experienced advice at this stage is definitely for an indie dev who hasn't landed a solid success yet or a hobby dev looking for feedback to start with Itch.io as a place to build your game's community.

There are other game hosting sites too, like Gamejolt, for instance, but while TCM used to be on Gamejolt their content policies and audience demographics were not a great fit, as was my experience with Newgrounds.

So. there are MANY choices but in all I'm grateful I didn't jump right into steam and also that my itch.io audience has been SO supportive and so enthusiastic about rating/commenting/and curating TCM to help spread the word. Especially since early in the project I had basically no marketing budget (I have a very small one now that covers the occasional blazed post but still).

ANYWAY thanks for reading my big dumb rambling posts but I really wanted to shed some light on the virtues of Itch after I've been chasing my own tail trying to get Steam working for me the way I want.

[myreitha]

Costume time!

Okay, you know what, I want to share this process and I've chosen y'all to suffer with me.

SO! A friend of mine doesn't have a spooky show to produce this year, and so is putting all his energy into a cool-ass halloween event (Fancy paper invites, puzzles to solve, challenges, games, seances, etc). The whole thing is themed around this fake secret society that we're all now part of, and the dress cose and we're being encouraged to come up with cool fancy clothes/outfits to match the theme to come in. Best description I can come up with for this theme is "Fancy witchy-vampire" (Like, think VtM, but witchier). THAT SAID. I'm still out of a job, so, I've got to be strategic. AND I've got the itch to make things. Even better. (More past the cut!)

I don't have photos for a lot of these earlier decisions and stages, sorry. BUT I go through my closet and costume tubs (the for-fun-or-cosplay costumes as well as the circus/performing ones) and have a nice closet-runway to figure out what I'm starting with and settle on this one burgundy satin wrap top with big-ass sleeves that I love. . .that unfortunately doesn't go with much that I have in my wardrobe that vibes with the theme. (There's like. . .one or two things it works with, but I want to be FANCIER). So I sketch around and come up with an idea based around this shirt (and a statement necklace collar I have that was some of the best $5 I've ever spent)

I have this old dress I'd bought at a flea market years ago and had altered to be an overskirt for a hoop skirt, and then it's been worn as a bustle with the bodice tucked away more times than it's felt hoops. It's a similar color as the top, so I figured I'd finally take the bodice off it, pull it in to be something I could walk in that wouldn't trail on teh ground, and I could set it under a corset in the center. Bing-bang-boom! Genius!

No. The skirt and the shirt were similar-but-different enough colors and textures that they clashed. Damnit. Well, I can ditch the skirt and figure out the rest! Some skinny moto pants. A decorative corset - I could embroider a corset (Myr no), or, ooh, use gold appliques (Okay, more realistic, proceed).

Next step was to mock things up as I'm trying to find what I want without purchasing a bunch of shit, which got me to this:

Okay okay okay. Cool, I've got a direction (that's not the shirt, but it's the closest I coudl find online to use, so I used it). Now for the endless internet and thrift store (No fingers, not thirst store, dear god) and internet thrift store searching to find me some cool-ass pants and a corset and some shoes that'll work with this. You'll notice, though that my statement necklace has been swapped out for cool-strappy-thing. Because statement necklace-collar is geometric and GOOD LUCK finding geometric applique. Harder than I expected. Took me a couple months to find things that weren't lots of money that I could afford. BUT I EVENTUALLY DID IT. This included buying multiple corsets with the intention of returning things. Benefits of modern shopping. The happy "lets try everything on" day was this weekend!

SO FAR SO GOOD. Took a poll from friends and the short corset is the winner. It's definitely the best constructed of the three, though the pants aren't QUITE high enough waist to be able to wear under it without some adjustments. But it'll do. The shoes turned out to be dark brown instead of black, so I need to see about making them black (and fixing them so the tongue doesn't decide to go deep diving towards my toes.) Other things to do: bring in the wrists of those sleeves some, they're a bit too big (Here they're clipped with bobby pins), decorate the corset, maybe add some gold detailing onto the pants? They've got that gold ridging along the thighs that you find on moto-pants, but that's absolutely invisible most of the time, so I think if I just brush some gold paint along the tops of those ridges, it'll make them pop in a good way. You'll note that none of these photos have the strappy-thingy, and instead we're back to the statement necklace-collar. Turns out the differece between the image I found on the internet and teh shirt I own is enough that you BARELY SEE the strappy. Also, I decided that instead of using applique, I'd buy some gold paint, make a design that'd work, and paint it on the corset. Only time will reveal whether this was a good or a bad idea.

Other thing this showed me is that this doesn't feel FANCY enough. So I'm coming back to that half-skirt idea. This time, though I'm thinking about something sheer - either a burgundy to match the top, or a black with gold accents (OR A FULL DESIGN?!?!?!).

Last night I got flat photos of the corset for figuring out the design, since the shape I was working with in my sketches doesn't match the chosen corset shape. Pls to enjoy some of the designs I was playing with:

Proooooobably going to see about adjusting the eye design. I think it fits the theme best.

Last night I started on the alternations by taking in the waist of the pants. Please have this photo that happened 30 seconds before my thread was attacked.

[angelofbenignmalevolence]

Last week I left a job that was doing terrible things to my mental health. It has been a week and I have stopped having such terrible insomnia (though it hasnt fully gone away), my anxiety is a little quieter, and I'm starting to get the itch to work on creative projects again. Characters are coming alive again, as if out of a hibernation and tugging gently on my sleeve for attention.

However, because in the last week I have moved house and been through many teeny tiny decisions that have just left my decision making shot, I have lots of ideas and no energy to make a decision.

So now it comes time for another poll because I want to be creative and I don't want to make my own decision XD .

The Lantern Beneath the Waves - (Gordon, Scott?, John?, EOS?) - Thriller?, Horror? - Gordon finds an old, abandoned city beneath the sea and finds more than he bargained for

Would that be the Worst Thing - (Hood/Havoc) - Angst - Same Universe as Bathroom Trash. Havoc has the conversation with the Hood about having his child

Untitled Chaos Crew Origin Story - (Hood, Havoc, Fuse) The first of many origin headcanons that I have in my mind for the Chaos Crew (I have a massive soft spot for them). A glimpse into Fuse and Havoc before they met the Hood and why they chose to go with the Hood.

Untitled Virgil/Minor Canon Character Fluff Piece - (Virgil/Minor Canon Character) I have one of those very bizarre rarepair (may be the only one that ships it) ships that I just want to have a little fun with. From the episode "Path of Destruction," Sophie (the greenhorn) gets a little crush on Virgil and Road Hog is determined to help her greenhorn get a date.

Bad Things Happen Bingo Card Story - (Variable characters involved, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) These got stalled for a bit when my mental health suffered. Should I go back to one of these?

Untitled AU - (Ensemble Cast, Contains OCs) - AU, Sci-Fi - Lucille had a life as part of an experimental program before she escaped and met Jeff and created a family

[bilightningwhumper]

Alright, I'm impatient with myself so my new lady whump story idea poll is going up tonight instead of tomorrow. It's a week-long one, so plenty of time to answer if interested. It's just been digging into my brain for over a week and I need to share at least part of it now. Holding myself back from writing the beginning so I don't delay the October prompts has been difficult enough, so I'm hoping this at least eases the itch somewhat until the month is done. Hoping today isn't busy so I can get some writing done at work to make more progress on those prompts. Like, I have the benefit that everything is thought out and I know what I want to do for each, I've known those since first looking at the prompts lists. It's just actually getting the time an energy to do it has been hard. That and getting over my own internal blocks.

Anyway, that's the update for now. Day 19 is up for all of them if you didn't see last night. Links on the masterlists are accurate up till Day 18, currently. I'll mass fix the newer stuff when I get more done. Because you know, time and energy.

[vinnymauro]

make me write: 5k edition

hey hi hello it's been a while! tbh i've been in a gif rot hell hole and while i still have a couple of sets i need to do (about 4 in total) i kind of have an itch to write. and since i can feel some of my life returning to normal i figured i'd start up one of these again!! yes. they're the same wips as they have been because ya boi (gn) here has not posted anything in a while. or finished anything. and i'm already thinking of rewriting the third part to tied me to you for the 2nd rewrite. sigh. help a friend out pls<3

acey’s poll breakdown

this poll is to determine which of my wips will be worked on for 1 week for a goal of 5k

in case of a tie, i’ll split 2.5k between both

the writing won’t start until sunday 12 am and will end the following sunday 12 am (est)

you may (and it’s highly encouraged!!) periodically message me for snippets of which won

you may reblog and random people may vote idc

if you’d like to do this, may i point you to the original poll post that i’m basing this off. but also feel free to do what you want bc, after all, this is for fun!!

the wips

another life

pairing: eddie munson x nancy wheeler prompt: things you said when we were on top of the world plot: musician!nancy wheeler & actor!eddie munson are getting a divorce! read all about it on page six. in an era of social media and high expectations, two people fell in love with versions of themselves they no longer know or recognize.

city lights

pairing: eddie munson x nancy wheeler prompt: things you said when you thought i was asleep plot: affectionately called bartender au where nancy is a bartender, currently lost and trying to find herself in the new city she’s been living in for the past year. eddie is a musician in this but not terribly successful, playing small clubs here and there. there’s a past. this one is the closest to being finished, not quite 5k left so if this wins, the rest of the count will go to 2nd place.

tied pt 3

pairing: steve harrington x chrissy cunningham prompt: things you said when you thought i was asleep (pt 4 will also be this one) plot: the third part is supposed to go to new years 1990/1991. i just need to figure some shit out so make me figure shit out faster.

before sunrise au

if this wins, i'm proof reading it and giving 5k automatically to the second place winner. it is a stargyle fic based on before sunrise that i wrote, finished, and abandoned because i did not feel like i wrote it well.

[bottlecaprabbitgames]

Weekly Update for 27 March, 2023

Howdy, folks! Welcome to the last update of March! Time really has flown, jesus-

Mind Games: Trepidation

Onto our favorite subject! If you guys haven't seen, there have been multiple edits pushed for mostly Chapter 1 and 2 this week! These edits have added new options to some dialogue choices, some customisation choices, and some variation to certain spots where I saw I favored sarcastic MCs over others. There have been a couple of grammar fixes pushed in Chapter 3, 4, and 5, but I have not done a more thorough editing of those chapters; after putting in some achievements, my brain kinda just. Flat-lined and needed a break, lol!

I have gotten LOADS done on Chapter 6! I am actually in Scene 3/4 for the rough draft, with about half of Scene 3's rough draft completed. Again, the rough draft is just me going through and picking one option for each branch and getting through the story so I know where it'll go when I go back to flesh it out! However, that's still a LOT of progress!!! The whole chapter is at about 5,600 words, and before doing the update I had started editing Scene 1 for a bit to start fleshing out so it's not so much work later.

A few things with MG:T:

In case you aren't aware, MG:T is only expected to be 9 Chapters, NOT including Interludes and the Epilogue. We are over 50% done with the game! VERY EXCITING!!! (Especially as I am ITCHING to get to book 2, lol!)

Chapter 6 is expected to be out in April. I will be releasing it in full as I'm expecting it to be a small to average size chapter.

I am always open to feedback and suggestions! Honestly, I would REALLY LOVE for you folks to tell me where you think improvements could be made or where you'd like to see more choices/what kind of choices you want to see more of. Be the change you want to see, lol!!

Remember: Every time an update is pushed, your saves will be corrupted! I try to push things all at once, but I never know how much I'll get done at any one time so sometimes I push smaller updates over a course of a day. If you aren't seeing anything new, it might be because your save is before the update was pushed!

I am still checking this Google Form! I am considering making one that is all about feedback and suggestions, and I DO check the one that's listed there daily! I actually have an active list of suggestions and stuff people have given me, and I do try to take the stuff you guys tell me needs fixing and put those fixes into the game!! Those of you who have answered the feedback section have been amazingly helpful and I appreciate it so much!!!

In case you missed it, I do have a page up now that has a list of all the free scenarios I've posted in the past and present, at least, the ones I could find! It also has a list of sneak peeks from Patreon I've posted! Some of them are a bit outdated as they're from, like, when I first started writing the game back in 2018-2019, but they're still enjoyable!

There is a poll up on Patreon right now that ends in 2 weeks! It's letting Patrons vote for which RO(s) will 100% be featured in April's scenarios for Patreon, and as a special treat, one of the 2 chosen ROs will be available to the lower tier as well! And, the lower tier can always vote in polls. The tier prices are $3 and $10, with $3 opening up polls, a sneak peek, discord benefits, weekly update+ content, and credits mentions (I will be putting every Patron I've had in the past in the credits of the game(s) they were supporting me during development!), with occasional monthly bonuses. The $10 tier opens up EVERYTHING I have, and everything that gets posted monthly!

I think that's all I got to tell y'all this week! See you at the next update! (Where I can hopefully confirm being done with at least one of the scenes in Chapter 6, hehe.)

[tssdresses]

Hi y'all!

I hope everyone's had a good start to the new year so far. I'm solidly in week three of class, already behind, and having a grand old time.

Some little life updates from me, a "so far in my year," if you will:

Started doing yoga!

(Accidentally?) Joined a LARP group!

Ripped off half my pinkie nail (I am devastated).

Went to a doctor for ADHD testing, and they told me to go talk to their ASD specialist, which. Okay, fair.

Reacted poorly to mountain weather (fucking pressure fronts) and had a week-long headache! I plan to fight God shortly.

All in all, so far so good.

On to what y'all're really interested in, let's be honest:

The Dresses!

I'm working on getting the Roman Mini Project set up to finish, since I am so close to done! In short order, I need to:

Neaten up the skirt hem

Add in a waistband

Figure out the blouse top

Make a proper master post for the dang thing

Photoshoot!

Still aiming for the end of February to have that completed, tentatively thinking I might have it done by Valentine's Day (because Roman).

Orange Dress!

For the poll dress, I'm feeling much more into it and I'm super excited. I've got the design finalized (!!!) and just need to place a fabric order. I'll have a few more polls up in the coming weeks, so keep an eye out for those if you want a say in accessories and some light shenanigans!

Aiming for mid-March to have this project done! Hopefully the weather lightens up and I can do some cool photoshoots outside.

I've been itching to sew in the last few weeks, so here's hoping.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@karatecaulfield HEY CMERE GUESS WHO I MADE A PLAYLIST

Tfw the YasMoon playlist I've been cultivating for a few months is the longest fandom playlist I've ever made, like...SIGNIFICANTLY longer than playlists for OTPs I've had for literal years O______O Lesbian hyperfixations go HARD, amirite???

Maybe it's because Spotify has a disproportionate number of songs about angsty/dysfunctional sapphic relationships akajdhousvigy

Kinda hope this keeps being the case though, because it's really funny. Inb4 I end up with like 100 songs on my YasMoon playlist and the rest of my fandom playlists top at like...60-something XD I'm unfortunately VERY deep in the "hears any love song on the radio and proclaims 'THIS IS YASMOON!'" phase, so uh...Imma probably keep adding songs at what's FAR from a reasonable rate.

ALSO I love being able to be like "check out my two Cobra Kai OTPs, the karate byfriends and the staunchly-refuse-to-do-karate girlfriends!!!" It's about that d i c h o t o m y XD The contrast!!! The parallels!!! The character foils!!! The pure, sweet irony!!!

So I went into this moodboard knowing my fave songs on here were gonna be like. WAY too obscure to have little lyric edits for them, so I just made my own again!!! Now that I'm actually confident doing that, I might be subjecting y'all to that way more often XD Here are the songs, if you're wondering: 1. Poker Face - Lady Gaga (has a ficlet here!!!) 2. American Dream - Baby Queen (no ficlets/moodboards/other content for this one yet, but mark my words, it will happen. I love this song for them too much :O) 3. Chronic - Phoebe Ryan (has a ficlet as well!!!) 4. Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ and Hazel English (ficlet here!)

Also open to any potential song suggestions, or to talk about my picks more!!! Additionally, I have been feeling, uh. VERY Unwell lately obsessing over potentially writing YasMoon songfics ^^; I've refrained so far (becaus GOD GIRL GET YOUR WIPS UNDER CONTROL), but my resolve is crumbling. I might make a silly little poll about them, because there is a horrible, horrible itch within me that I do not think I will scratch until I pluck a song out of here and turn it into a YasMoon one-shot D:

(I also haven't written proper CK fic in so longggggg because the fandom kinda yeeted D: Hopefully I can find at least a handful of readers for the onslaught of yasmoon fic y'all will eventually be subjected to lmao)

Used a pink and yellow/gold color scheme for them here because that combo never doesn't slap for them, tbh. Like GOD, am I ever a SLUT for aesthetically pleasing color motifs :O And pink and yellow always hits with the girls!!! Also love the shameless, cheery hyperfemininity of it all. No broody, emotionless grays and blacks to be found here!!! Only bright, eye-hurting your average dudebro would not be caught dead in :)

As always, pic credits available upon request!

[strivingforsanity00]

So I'm out here, setting myself up being a thot and trying so fricken hard to be honest with myself and with him(or if I am really being honest, trying to avoid honest transparency with all that I am) and I fucken fucking fucked up. I don't need to ramble about why I'm unworthy or shitty or as he would put it, a cockroach. Y'all already know and God knows what a fucken stupid loser I am and how I lie to myself all the time.

Looking back on my most recent mistake; I should have seen it coming. I did, I must have, and I must have lied to myself and forged on pig-headedly and all as I often do. I was tattooing her, we were confiding, I changed in front of her, I had the whiskey, I told her she could crash, it must have been written on my stupid fat red face that i just wanted to be fucking held...it happened I guess. Anyway why am I prone to things like this? This isn't the first time and I have made all the excuses for myself before, both wholeheartedly believing them and also just shitting out justifications. I like sex, I'm of a very much more sexual nature than many, I believe in openness and that love is to be spread and shared and not hoarded or possessed, I'm lonely, I can't say no, it's just girls doing girl stuff, I don't have anyone to answer to, it's just scratching an itch, it's just to feel some sort of evenness; fairness; to level the ground on which my heart sits so painfully, something, something, something, yada yada yada.

The fact is that that's probably all bullshit and I am just a cunt with no regard for anyone's feelings but my own, so I do what I want with only that in mind. And truth be told, I do not often consider anyone's else's feelings because who considers mine? I literally left and still have to live my life by what she wants and I fucken-

Fuck bro it's been however long he said and I still cannot reconcile this. Logically, I've made my peace. She was here first, she is his peer and I am some whore. There's other factors and responsibilities to keep in mind here, not everything is about what I want. What do you expect? You don't even dare ask or say because you know it's dumb bullshit. Shut the fuck up. Very sad, no one cares.

While we are on that note, what the fuck do you want Athena? You act like you want to keep him and be someone's wife and you bitch and gripe and moan about your bullshit jealousy but do you even want that? Are you even equipped to be that? Of course not, be realistic, get on the fucking ground. Look at yourself, bro. No wonder you come second because you are the definition of second rate. Maybe that's why you act this way. Maybe one of us is telling the others that we don't want this. If I try to take a poll, we are all lonely and sad and pathetic and very deeply desperately hopelessly in love, drowned to death in the throes of a love unprecedented.

We are all horny, we are all enamored; absolutely wound the fuck up in the man that is my everything, my only thing, the man that I worship, the man I want to feel guilt for, the man whose feelings I want to consider forever and follow around like a dog on my knees until I die. The man whose happiness is more important than my own or anyone else's.

But it is so fucking painful and he spoke about respect. Do I have any respect for myself? This whole relationship is a disrespect and I am not one to accept that, I have grown tremendously and don't accept less any more. But this...I'm a living toy. I'm a plaything. And I eat it, I will always eat it, I cannot help but live my life this way because I love him so fucking much that any love I can get is better than none. Even if I have to be a mistress, even if I have to be alone when I need him, even if I think I am not worthy or equipped of and for making a man's needs met. I can barely meet my own, let alone the kids and let alone his; and that's exactly why I am living drenched in absolute bullshit. Disrespect, he says. I miss the days when I could at least get the shit beat out of me and I knew what I was. What am I now? Does one of me prefer to give up, and to be alone because of the fear of pain? That's cap, man. Weak

[wings-of-ink]

Are you already thinking of making another IF after this one? if so what kind

Oooh, this is a topic I've been itching to talk about a bit.

I do plan on working on another IF as a side project. Once God-Cursed is in a happy place, at maybe 5 chapters, I will consider going ahead with adding a new IF to the mix. I debated about starting another while doing GC, but I also see the value in writing something totally different to avoid burnout. GC is a huge project, and I think I'm going to need something to take my mind off it here and there.

I have a number of ideas jotted down. I typically come up with a premise and see if I can simply grow it. GC took on a life of it's own. The central plot popped in my head and I remember furiously typing up a note in my phone. Then, I just kept going back to it to add more and more. I haven't had that moment yet with another IF idea, but what I know for sure about my next one, is that it will be in a modern-day setting. I need something that's just opposite from GC in a few ways.

I have one premise that I super love. It's much darker in tone, maybe a bit screwed up even - the MC would not be in a very happy place. No supportive and loveable dads here. But I've only been able to really get the premise, which is great, but the rest isn't really coming to me. Granted, I haven't just sat and really brainstormed. It will also require some research on my end because I'd want it fairly realistic.

The other idea I've been kicking around lacks a premise. I have lots of ideas for the MC and even some ROs and their situation - but the WHY is missing as is the, like, plot. lol This idea is also in a darker area, and I can see it being trigger-heavy. I see potential in eking in the supernatural though, which also appeals to me.

I had considered running a poll to see what people are most interested in reading with the ideas I currently have. I'm not feeling particular, and it may help me work up those creative juices!

Thank you for the ask, Anon! ^_^

[firstdegreefangirl]

...I would like to know about the podcasts/special features venn diagram

Yay! I love when I get to explain my harebrained ideas!

I'd been thinking down this line for a bit, but the other week I watched a youtube video kind of slamming the popularity of rewatch podcasts and it got me to sit down and really finetune what I was already toying with.

But basically, I think the venn diagram of people who liked special features/DVD commentary and people who like rewatch podcasts is pretty close to a circle. Maybe not a perfect overlap, but they scratch a really similar itch.

Deleted scenes and bloopers don't fit perfectly, but especially people who liked the commentary overlays. I loved watching an episode of whatever show on DVD box set, then watching the same episode with director's commentary, because I liked hearing all of the BTS and making-of and whatnot. That's fallen by the wayside, but now I've taken up rewatch podcasts when I'm in the car or doing housework or that. It's the same thing -- behind the scenes, making of, reminiscing about how the episodes came together, etc.

The same things I liked about DVD commentary features are the things I like about rewatch podcasts. They're different typefaces of the same font, if you will.

On the flipside, an informal poll of a handful of my friends who don't like rewatch podcasts indicates that they weren't/aren't director's commentary people. Maybe I'll throw it up in a tumblr poll later, widen the sample size a little bit, but I think that the overlap is definitely considerable.

[killemwithkawaii]

WIPs of the Week/ Spend Time With Senpai 🧜‍♂️💦

[CW: cropped lewdness]

Hello my darling kouhai~ I finally have some time to draw and hang out today (which is good, because I've been itching to do both all weekend 😩🙏💖💖💖)!

Here's what I'm working on today:

The winner of the poll with 40% of the vote, mr. mer!sal's a'comin to quench y'alls thirst 💦

Aaaand that spicy comm I mentioned the other day (which is apparently what happens when someone gives me money and then leaves me unsupervised sdlfladfj) 😇💘💦💦💦

Yup it's gonna be a good day guys uwu

P.S. In Matilda news, I had to let air out of her bag on the second day (happy yeast!) and otherwise she's just been doing her thing. Her first feeding is tomorrow, and then it will only be a few more days until I can make my first loaf! I'm so excited to see how it turns out aaaahhhh >w< 🍞🍞🍞

[musegrimoire]

Get To Know The Mun!

———  BASICS!

NAME: Gennie / Gen / Genie / Gene / etc.

PRONOUNS:  She/Her

ZODIAC SIGN:  Taurus.

TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single

———  THREE  FACTS!

oh these things are always so hard .. so first up i think i'll talk about my interests i guess !! obviously you can tell what i'm into based on my muses but my favorite genres are mystery, horror, and fantasy. love jrpgs .. love puzzle games .. love psychological thrillers and the type. feel free if we're close to ask to play vidja games together .. i'm currently playing overwatch, ffxiv, genshin impact and much more. maybe i'll even try to host a movie night or two -- i just love consuming content with friends

while i have the huge fuckoff icon credit document, if i get very into my roleplay blogs, i tend to draw stuff of my muses and their interactions so ! also, good half of the muses on this blog are characters i've cosplayed .. i've been cosplaying since 2012 (the good ol h*mestuck days.) to .. well, 2019/2020 (thanks covid.) i just do be making things ..

this fact's a little bland but if you get to know me, you'll find out very quickly i love planning .. organizing .. making lists .. i'm that bitch who if i had unlimited money i'd buy 60,000 planners with all those cute little stickers. i love when numbers go up (that explains my love of mmos and rpgs.) love making spreadsheets. love polls. etc.

———  EXPERIENCE!

PLATFORMS USED: oh lord you're gonna take me back -- i've been roleplaying on the internet since like .. 2007 ? all the way from the middle school playground .. to smash bros forums .. to Xat .. to chatango .. to MSN ... to skype ... to discord .. then tumblr back in 2012-2014 .. so i've been at it a while but also it's been a bit since i've been in the tumblr rp scene !

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE!

GENDER: i want to eventually expand my muse repertoire but i usually only roleplay gals / femme presenting individuals since that's all I can really pull experience from .. for now !

MULTI OR SINGLE:   multi multi multi! if i made an individual blog for each muse I had .. i wouldn't be here tbh ;; i'd lose track of emails and threads and so much if i had like 10+ blogs. it's easy to do everything on one blog especially when i want to roleplay so many people.

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT

FLUFF :   i'm not a fluff centered person usually but .. if the right thing tugs at my heartstrings and it's a particular ship then i can be a huge romantic !! hoo boy !! i'm a sucker for robot + human ships, nerd/jock ships and ice queens/cocky bastard ships.

ANGST :  angst i'm here or there on .. i don't delight in causing pain but i'm also not adverse to it because it creates for some interesting situations and plots. i'm definitely down. tbh most of the media i contain is .. full of angst.

SMUT :   since i've been rp'ing on the net for ages now, and written tons of pwp, smut is my specialty and what i prefer to write in my spare time .. not that it's always on the table but it's probably where i thrive best.

PLOT / MEMES: i love ask memes!! tbh sometimes i'm not always down for writing out big threads and just interacting through dash commentary / ask memes / quick replying back and forth scratches the roleplay itch but doesn't overwhelm me

———–

Tagged by: i stole this from dani teehee :3c

Tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this that sees this !! steal from me

[strivingforsanity00]

So I'm out here, setting myself up being a thot and trying so fricken hard to be honest with myself and with him(or if I am really being honest, trying to avoid honest transparency with all that I am) and I fucken fucking fucked up. I don't need to ramble about why I'm unworthy or shitty or as he would put it, a cockroach. Y'all already know and God knows what a fucken stupid loser I am and how I lie to myself all the time.

Looking back on my most recent mistake; I should have seen it coming. I did, I must have, and I must have lied to myself and forged on pig-headedly and all as I often do. I was tattooing her, we were confiding, I changed in front of her, I had the whiskey, I told her she could crash, it must have been written on my stupid fat red face that i just wanted to be fucking held...it happened I guess. Anyway why am I prone to things like this? This isn't the first time and I have made all the excuses for myself before, both wholeheartedly believing them and also just shitting out justifications. I like sex, I'm of a very much more sexual nature than many, I believe in openness and that love is to be spread and shared and not hoarded or possessed, I'm lonely, I can't say no, it's just girls doing girl stuff, I don't have anyone to answer to, it's just scratching an itch, it's just to feel some sort of evenness; fairness; to level the ground on which my heart sits so painfully, something, something, something, yada yada yada.

The fact is that that's probably all bullshit and I am just a cunt with no regard for anyone's feelings but my own, so I do what I want with only that in mind. And truth be told, I do not often consider anyone's else's feelings because who considers mine? I literally left and still have to live my life by what she wants and I fucken-

Fuck bro it's been however long he said and I still cannot reconcile this. Logically, I've made my peace. She was here first, she is his peer and I am some whore. There's other factors and responsibilities to keep in mind here, not everything is about what I want. What do you expect? You don't even dare ask or say because you know it's dumb bullshit. Shut the fuck up. Very sad, no one cares.

While we are on that note, what the fuck do you want Athena? You act like you want to keep him and be someone's wife and you bitch and gripe and moan about your bullshit jealousy but do you even want that? Are you even equipped to be that? Of course not, be realistic, get on the fucking ground. Look at yourself, bro. No wonder you come second because you are the definition of second rate. Maybe that's why you act this way. Maybe one of us is telling the others that we don't want this. If I try to take a poll, we are all lonely and sad and pathetic and very deeply desperately hopelessly in love, drowned to death in the throes of a love unprecedented.

We are all horny, we are all enamored; absolutely wound the fuck up in the man that is my everything, my only thing, the man that I worship, the man I want to feel guilt for, the man whose feelings I want to consider forever and follow around like a dog on my knees until I die. The man whose happiness is more important than my own or anyone else's.

But it is so fucking painful and he spoke about respect. Do I have any respect for myself? This whole relationship is a disrespect and I am not one to accept that, I have grown tremendously and don't accept less any more. But this...I'm a living toy. I'm a plaything. And I eat it, I will always eat it, I cannot help but live my life this way because I love him so fucking much that any love I can get is better than none. Even if I have to be a mistress, even if I have to be alone when I need him, even if I think I am not worthy or equipped of and for making a man's needs met. I can barely meet my own, let alone the kids and let alone his; and that's exactly why I am living drenched in absolute bullshit. Disrespect, he says. I miss the days when I could at least get the shit beat out of me and I knew what I was. What am I now? Does one of me prefer to give up, and to be alone because of the fear of pain? That's cap, man. Weak