#I'm dead and now it's everybody's problem | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ckret2 · 5 months ago

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Chapter 54 of everybody being really eager to kill their prisoner human Bill Cipher for good: the gang's trying a new way to create fuel for the one weapon guaranteed to destroy Bill.

It goes so great.

As Ford drove to Northwest Manor, Dipper skimmed through the introduction to Flatworld, where Edward Bishop Bishop was pretending that his book had been dictated to him by a sentient square; but he couldn't focus on it. He sighed, shut the book, and stared out the passenger window at the passing trees.

"Something on your mind?" Ford asked.

"I'm thinking about the Axolotl's poem again. The one about Bill."

"Ah. Still trying to remember the rest?"

"Kinda. Mabel and I are working on it together," Dipper said. "But it's not that. I've just been wondering... what if the poem is... you know, part of a prophecy about Bill or something? Mabel remembered another line of the poem—'A different form, a different time.' What if the Axolotl was telling us why Bill's back as a human? Maybe we need him here—to, to use his powers to fight off a bigger threat or something. Do you think that's possible?" He held back another question: what happens if we kill him before then?

Ford frowned thoughtfully. "I've been thinking about the Axolotl as well," he said. "About the worlds I visited that called it a god of criminals, tyrants, and luck. That sounds to me like the exact kind of being that would be Bill's ally. And it's odd how resistant Bill was to telling us anything about the Axolotl, when it simply passed over town for a few seconds and then moved on. Why the secrecy? How does Bill think it benefits him for us not to know about it?" Ford shook his head. "I think you're on to something, Dipper—I think whatever the Axolotl told you is important. The question is: important for whom?"

Dipper's stomach turned. The Axolotl had radiated such kindness; it was hard for Dipper to believe it could be up to anything evil with Bill. But then—Dipper clutched at Flatworld with the damning biography on the back—but then, how many people had Bill himself fooled with the benevolent teacher act?

Dipper understood now why "Don't Trust Bill" had so quickly turned into "Trust No One." Even when you knew that there was only one real enemy—even when you knew that most people out there were still reasonably honest and friendly—you could never tell just how far Bill's shadow stretched. "I guess that's true. We can't really know."

"We can't know yet. But it is worth trying to figure out," Ford said. "I wish I could tell you where to start looking for answers. For now... we'll just have to consider anything possible."

Ford was right. But all the same, every time Dipper paranoidly asked himself What if Grunkle Ford is right, what if the Axolotl really is on Bill's side, a second, even more paranoid, even more worried voice asked, But what if he isn't?

####

When they arrived, Fiddleford was already in his lab, hard at work on the miniature particle accelerator they'd come to see him about.

"The paradox what was powering it started yowling" Fiddleford said. "So obviously it ain't a paradox no more."

Ford grimaced. "That does lay to rest whether the cat is alive or dead."

"Sure does," Fiddleford said, sighing. "So I let the cat outside and I'm rebuilding the whole contraption to run on a more robust paradox. I hope you've got better news for me, Stanford."

"We hope so too. I think Dipper might have the solution to our fuel generation problem."

They briefly explained Dipper's unfortunate puppet incident last summer—Fiddleford had to take a break in the middle to grab a cup of coffee, "To steady my nerves,"—its ongoing effects on his sleep, and the new developments of the last few days, culminating in Dipper learning how to project his soul out of his body—

—which, Ford now realized, he probably should have expected Fiddleford to take poorly.

"Sweet sasparilla!" Fiddleford kicked over his chair while jumping onto the nearest table. "You're dead?!"

"What?" Dipper said. "No, I—"

"You're like a ghost possessing a zombie!"

Dipper thought that over. "Whoa..."

But, even though Fiddleford thought the whole affair went against the rightful order of the world, he agreed that it was a sound idea and worth trying. "It's lucky that my tater tot and I hunted out all the ghosts in this place during our spring cleaning," he said, opening a cabinet. He retrieved what looked like a pair of vacuums redesigned to be worn like backpacks with an assortment of random electronics dangling from wires. He held up a set of goggles and headphones hanging off one of the vacuums. "I invented these doohickeys that'll let you see and hear ghosts! They'll let us keep in contact with Dipper while he's out of his body." He set the vacuums on a table near the miniature particle accelerator and said, "First, though—Stanford, I need you to help me rebuild this machine."

"Of course." Ford turned away from the vacuum he'd been inspecting to look at the miniature particle accelerator.

Dipper said, "Wait, there are other ghosts in this mansion?"

"Yep!"

"I hunted one at the Northwests' big party last year," Dipper said. "How many more ghosts are in here?"

"We've caught, oh... thirty or forty so far."

"Seriously? That's amazing." Dipper was already thinking about the amazing Ghost Harassers episode this place could have been. Maybe even a miniseries.

"Aw, it weren't that hard. If you leave the TV on, they like to flock around it to watch. All you've gotta do is hide in the corner until a whole big bunch of 'em are gathered 'round—and then ya get them!"

"Oh," Dipper said. "Huh. I just tricked one into getting trapped in a silver mirror."

"Well, that's right impressive too. I never woulda thunk of that," Fiddleford said. "Me and Tate have been sucking them into cooling pouches in these here vacuums and then sticking the pouches in a chest freezer down in the dungeon! Maybe I oughta line the freezer with silver."

"This place has a dungeon?" Dipper asked.

Before Fiddleford could respond, Ford asked, "Which parts are we replacing?" He was inspecting the miniature particle accelerator.

"All of them!"

Ford gave Fiddleford a surprised look. "All of them?"

"Yep! Every last one!"

"Is the design changing that much?"

"Nope! It's staying exactly the same!"

"Then... why can't we just use the same machine we already have?"

"We will be using the same machine!" Fiddleford smiled mischievously. "Or will we?"

"Ah! I see! The particle accelerator of Theseus," Ford said. "Very clever."

"And kinder on the local stray cats, I reckon."

Dipper offered his assistance, but the work involved too much welding and buzzsawing for him to try untrained, so he was directed to sit a safe distance away with the first aid kit. At least it gave him a chance to read some more. He had to shove aside a couple flashlights and the glue grenade to reach where the slim book had slid to the bottom of his backpack during their walk from the car.

He skimmed over some of the worldbuilding looking for the story before he realized the story was the wordbuilding and looped back. It was a lot bleaker than he expected, even after Mabel's warning. Rigid class system, oppressive government, all kinds of horrifying shape prejudices... Frustrating dream visits to the ignorant line people in the first dimension who didn't believe in the second dimension, and to the self-absorbed King Zero in the point-sized zeroth dimension who thought a whole universe was contained inside him... A just as frustrating visit from a sphere who simply couldn't explain the third dimension in a way the square protagonist could understand, which was even more annoying since the square had just seen how the first dimension couldn't comprehend the second for the same reasons, so why couldn't he accept the possibility of a third dimension he couldn't imagine? Dipper got that it was supposed to be a metaphor to help three-dimensional readers understand that not being able to visualize a fourth dimension didn't mean it was impossible; but still. Come on, man. Don't be stupid.

On the other hand, at least now Dipper had a framework to understand the concept of higher dimensions and probably a leg up on next year's geometry. Would high school geometry cover four-dimensional space?

After a couple of hours of work and a break for lunch, the miniature particle accelerator was rebuilt and ready for another attempt to generate fuel. Fiddleford pulled on one of his ghost vacuums like a backpack, put on the set of connected headphones and goggles, and settled his glasses on over the goggles. "Y'all ready?"

"Ready," Ford said. He was seated at the accelerator's monitors, holding the jug that would contain any NowUSeeitNowUDontium they generated, and wearing the other vacuum—with the goggles over his glasses, and he was a bit worried about how Fiddleford had positioned his.

"Ready," Dipper said, a tad less certainly. What if he couldn't do it today? What if he'd never actually been able to do it last night and the whole thing really had been a dream?

But Fiddleford flipped the accelerator's power on, stepped back, and said, "All right! Do your thing!"

"Okay." Dipper stared straight at the machine, and—eugh—thought about degloving his body from his soul, peeling out of his skin fingers first.

This was only the second time he'd left his body deliberately. He'd observed in the past that the mindscape was strangely gray and still compared to the real world—but he'd never realized just how stark and swift the change was, like all the color and warmth had been abruptly sucked from reality. He shivered.

Ford inhaled sharply. Fiddleford stumbled back against the nearest table and yelped, "Flipping flapjacks!"

"You can both still see me?" Dipper said. "Can you hear me, too?"

"Loud and clear," Ford said.

"Like the voices of the dead." Fiddleford shuddered. "Welp, let's get this over with. I don't like all this ghost business. It ain't natural."

Ford gave him an amused look. "Since when have you ever been concerned about what's 'natural'? Didn't the engineering club vote you 'most likely to build a robot that flies in the face of God'?"

"You hush! There's nothing unnatural about iron, electromagnetism, and flamethrowers."

Dipper studied his body's face, its eyes pointed blankly toward the particle accelerator. "Well, I'm looking at the experiment, but I'm definitely not thinking about it. I think that's half of the paradox?"

"That's right," Fiddleford said. "Now, you just—float yerself on over to the other side of the accelerator, and think about it without looking at it."

"Right." Dipper positioned himself directly across the accelerator from his body, shut his eyes, and tried to think experimental thoughts. He didn't know much about Dontium besides what Ford had written about it in Journal 3—that it was inert when you were looking at it and radioactive when you weren't—so, if the miniature particle accelerator generated any, would he get blasted with radiation? Or was his body staring at the accelerator enough to keep it inert? But no—it was supposed to fill up the jug Ford was holding, right? Ford was observing it. Dipper tried to imagine what must be happening inside the accelerator; how did it work, would particles spontaneously generate in the tubes? Maybe they circled around until they fell into the hose to the jug...

He heard Ford gasp. "Fiddleford, look at this— Don't listen to me Dipper, just keep—keep thinking whatever you were thinking!"

"Is it working?"

"It was! Don't let us distract you."

Dipper tried to ignore the sound of Fiddleford running over to Ford, and started humming to drown out their hushed conversation. That was good, right? It meant the experiment was working. Keep thinking about that—experiment. Experiment. Expeeeriment. ... He wondered if trying to do the experiment by putting himself and Tyrone on either side of the accelerator would have worked, or if it had to be Dipper's soul and his body—

"Hot diggety!" Fiddleford shouted. "We've reached critical mass!"

"What does that mean, is it bad?" Dipper opened one eye a crack, trying to squint enough that he couldn't see the particle accelerator. "Is it gonna explode?"

Ford explained, "It means we've generated enough Dontium that it can sustain its own existence. Now, even if you get distracted, what we've already generated will remain. It can only go up from here."

"Wow," Dipper said. "That only took, what, a couple of minutes?"

"Less than that! During our last attempt, we tried for hours without reaching critical mass," Ford said. "Your idea was right on the money. Excellent work, Dipper."

Dipper grinned. After all that anxiety, it was almost a letdown how easy it was, but the coolness factor made up for it. He could just imagine the conversations the first week of high school: What did I do over summer break? Oh, nothing much. Just synthesized a new element. To fuel a weapon custom-designed to kill an immortal chaos god. And did I mention I was a ghost at the time? It didn't quite top last summer's adventures, but...

Then something went wrong.

There was a noise halfway between the electric buzz of a tesla coil and the rip of Velcro being torn apart. A stench like burning hair filled the air. A line of shifting colorful light began worming its way out of the center of the particle accelerator and up into the air.

"Oh no. Ohhh no!" Fiddleford grabbed his head. "The micro-rips! The threadbare fabric of reality! Our experiment put too much of a strain on it! We tore straight through!" One foot bounced agitatedly, "Ohhh, I knew I shoulda run some calculations before substituting in Dipper for you and Stanley."

Dipper gasped as the line of light began to agonizingly stretch open wider. Reality began seeping over its edges and dripping through into the kaleidoscopic miasma beyond. It developed a second horizontal rip across its middle as reality stretched beyond endurance in multiple directions. "What—is that?" He was afraid he knew.

"A dimensional rift," Fiddleford said.

"The Nightmare Realm," said Ford.

The last frayed thread holding reality together snapped apart, and the rift tore open wide, fully exposing the Earth to the roaring roiling chaos beyond.

They screamed.

"Hello?" A giant set of dentures with stubby arms and legs leaned through the rift. "Oh hey! Aren't you the guys that killed Bill?"

They screamed again.

"Is screaming how humans say hi?" the monster asked. "I'm Teeth. Aaah!" He turned toward Ford. "Hey! Fingers! Lookin' less electrocuted than the last time I saw you—"

Ford socked Teeth in the incisor, knocking him back through the rift. "Back, you! You and your 'friends' are not welcome in this dimension!"

"Ow. What the heck, man."

Fiddleford shouted, "Don't stop observing the Dontium!" He bounded across the room on all four to scoop up the milk jug and stare at it.

Ford nearly toppled through the rift, and had to grab onto the miniature particle accelerator as the heaviest nearby object to anchor himself. The rift sucked on reality like a vacuum, and the longer it was open the more powerful it grew.

Over the roar of the rift, Dipper yelled "What do we do?!"

"We have to seal it! Before it sucks all of Gravity Falls into the Nightmare Realm!"

"How?!"

Last summer, the instant Bill had no longer been around to maintain the dimensional rift, it had also sucked reality into it, starting with everything that properly belonged in the Nightmare Realm; but then it had also quickly sealed itself back shut. On the other hand, this rift was just opening wider and wider. Maybe it wasn't like the rift Bill had used to enter Gravity Falls, then? Maybe it was structured more like the wormholes that had been left behind after Weirdmageddon—

"I've got it!" Ford picked up Dipper's body—trying not to shudder at how lifeless it felt—and unzipped his backpack. "Is the alien adhesive grenade still in here?"

"It should be! Let me see." Dipper floated over to peer into his backpack.

The rift was already strong enough to drag at Ford's clothing. The lightest objects in the room lifted into the air and were sucked through. Papers. Pencils. Coffee mugs. Dipper's soul.

He screamed. "GRUNKLE FORD!"

"Dipper!" Ford grabbed for Dipper's ankle, but his hand passed right through. Ford's blood ran cold as Dipper tumbled head over heels into the Nightmare Realm.

"Look at that," Teeth said, watching Dipper soar by. "Dinner delivery."

There was no difference between the mindscape and reality in the Nightmare Realm, if Ford followed Dipper through he'd be able to get a grip on Dipper there. But how would he carry Dipper back to Earth without him melting through Ford's grasp the moment they were through the rift? Didn't matter, grab Dipper first, then figure it out—

Fiddleford shoved the jug of Dontium in Ford's hands as he ran past. "Watch over this!"

"What—!"

Fiddleford jumped into the Nightmare Realm, the end of a long extension cord tied around his waist. He stretched out the hose of his ghost vacuum and flipped a switch, and with a yelp Dipper's soul was sucked inside. Ford gasped in relief.

Trying to keep as much of his attention on the potentially-radioactive jug as possible, Ford reeled Fiddleford back in, shoved the jug in his hands, and dug into Dipper's backpack again until he found the alien adhesive grenade. He pulled the pin and chucked it through the rift. "Duck!"

He shielded Dipper's body and Fiddleford shielded the Dontium jug as the grenade exploded. Even so, the force of it blew aside everything within ten feet of the rift and sent both of them sprawling. When Ford glanced back over his shoulder, the adhesive had gummed up the opening of the rift like a popped glowing magenta bubblegum bubble; and as he watched, it sucked the opening shut. In a few seconds the air was still and quiet, and the only sign the rift had ever existed was an immense, jagged vertical line in the air around which the light refracted wrong.

Fiddleford gingerly got back to his knees, then pulled off his glasses and pushed up his goggles. One of the lenses had been crushed, and the glasses' frame was bent beyond repair.

Ford heaved a long, heavy sigh. "A bit too familiar, wasn't it?"

Fiddleford blinked at him. "Wasn't what?"

"The—reeling you in from the Nightmare Realm?" Ford said. At Fiddleford's blank look, Ford said, "The portal test?"

"Oh." Fiddleford scratched his head. "I... still don't remember it too clearly."

"Ah. Yes. Of course." Ford's stomach churned with guilt as he looked away from Fiddleford. Over thirty years late was too late to apologize, wasn't it? (Over the past year he'd wondered, again and again; and again and again he'd decided that it was.) "Thank you for saving—" He gasped, "Dipper!"

"Oh, right!" Fiddleford took off his vacuum, dropped it on the floor, and unzipped its bag. The ghosts of a Northwest in a buckskin coat and a confused-looking hippie escaped into the air. "Hey," Fiddleford barked. "You get back here!" He raised the vacuum's hose and flipped its switch. He caught the hippie, but as soon as she was sucked in she flew out the unzipped bag and off to freedom again. Fiddleford lowered the hose and shook a fist at the retreating spirits. "I'll get you ectoplasmic varmints, just you wait!"

Ford knelt on the floor and held the bag open wider. Dipper floated out, arms crossed tight and shivering. "So... so cold... and dark... and really, really dusty."

"Let's get you back where you belong."

Ford held up Dipper's body as he lay back down in it. He could see the moment color flooded back into Dipper's cheeks and his eyes focused again. Dipper groaned.

Ford said, "You're never doing that again."

"I am never doing that again," Dipper said.

"We can't do that again," Fiddleford said. "The fabric of reality in this town is too unstable to handle another paradoxical physics experiment that powerful! We'd rip open another rift to the Nightmare Realm!"

"And we just tossed away all of our remaining alien adhesive," Ford sighed. It left Gravity Falls vulnerable if any more rips formed. Sometime soon he'd have to go back to the alien crash site and see if there was any more adhesive he could scrounge up; but even if he did, they couldn't risk wasting more of it like this.

"But did we get what we needed?" Dipper asked.

Fiddleford held up the milk jug of Dontium and shook it. It had a strange shifting color, wavering between cyan and orange depending on the lighting. "Looks like we got about three-fourths of a gallon," Fiddleford said.

"It's only enough to fully power one shot," Ford said. "But... one shot is all it'll take to destroy Bill." His stomach flipped nervously as he said it. He'd been anxious every other time he'd prepared to kill Bill, but that had always been because he'd been preparing to battle for the fate of the universe with a godlike monster who could easily kill him or worse. For the first time, he was preparing to execute a defenseless prisoner, and he didn't know whether it would make the universe any safer.

For half the summer he'd hoped Bill was harmless. Now he wished he had proof that Bill wasn't, so that he could lay his conscience to rest.

Dipper looked as uncomfortable as Ford felt; but when he caught Ford's gaze, he hardened his expression and nodded. Ford nodded back.

"WOOHOO!" Fiddleford leaped his full height straight up, making Ford and Dipper start. "We done it! YAHOO!" He waved his hat around ecstatically, doing a little jig in place. "YIPPEE! HIP HIP HURRrr—hey, how come you fellers ain't celebrating?"

Ford didn't know how to explain without making Fiddleford worry he was at risk of falling under Bill's spell again. "We'll celebrate when he's dead."

####

"Who was at the door?" 8 Ball shouted. When he didn't get a response, he paused his game. "Teeth?"

Teeth waddled into the game room. His face was completely plastered shut with some kind of glowing purple glue.

Pyronica cracked up and Paci-Fire chuckled darkly. 8 Ball sighed, "What'd you get into, you idiot?"

Teeth waved his hands emphatically.

"All right, okay." 8 Ball stood and stretched. "Does anyone have the number of that lamp guy Bill used to hook up with?"

Half an hour later, having lured over Lava Lamp Guy with the false promise of ping pong pool and illicit liquids, they cornered him in a bathroom, with Zanthar sitting in the tub restraining him while Paci-Fire struggled to hold his face still.

"Please!" Lava Lamp Guy screamed. "Let me go! I'll do anything you want! My neurologist said I can't take much more of this!"

"Cease your complaints," Paci-Fire said, as 8 Ball took off Lava Lamp Guy's bowler. "You shall not dissuade us. We do this because we have no choice in the matter."

"Why not?!"

"Because none of us feel like making the trip to a dimension with a drugstore."

8 Ball stuck a soup ladle into the open top of Lava Lamp Guy's head and fished around until he got a scoop of the red goo floating around in the thinner orange liquid. Lava Lamp Guy howled in agony. Zanthar heaved a weary sigh.

8 Ball carried the ladle over to where Teeth was sitting on the toilet lid kicking his feet. "Here you go, bud."

Teeth clapped his hands, grabbed an oversized toothbrush, and held it out for 8 Ball to pour the goop on. He scrubbed his teeth until the goop dissolved the adhesive. "Whew!" He stretched his jaw a few times, then jumped to his feet. "Thanks! I was worried I was gonna miss karaoke night." He looked in the sink mirror to scrub off the remaining scraps of adhesive.

8 Ball put Lava Lamp Guy's hat back on. Lava Lamp Guy groaned, "I think I forgot my third husband."

"You've only been married twice," Hectorgon lied.

"Oh." Confused, Lava Lamp Guy said, "Alright."

Teeth muttered, "Blech, divorce memories." He grabbed a bottle of mouthwash to clear out the taste.

"So what happened?" Kryptos asked. He was hovering in the doorway beside Pyronica.

"I'unno. I think the Dimension 46ers were messing around with their portal or something? They opened up a portal here."

"What? Uh-uh," Pyronica said. "It had to be some other dimension. We just invaded them, why would they open the portal again?"

"No no, that sounds like humans to me," Kryptos said. "If one of them pushes a button and immediately dies, the guy standing next to him will go, 'I wonder if it does that every time.' I've seen them do it."

"It was definitely them, I saw that local contractor Bill recruited for the portal who went nuts. Fingers or whoever."

8 Ball groaned. "You mean the guy that invaded the Quadrangle and tried to kill everybody?"

"Yeah. That guy. He told me I wasn't welcome on Earth and chucked a glue bomb in my face. I was like, well alright, buddy, I'm not the one who opened up a portal in your house, you could have just stayed home instead of ruining my day," Teeth said. "I didn't really say that to him. I thought it."

"So now the humans are invading us." Pyronica threw her hands in the air. "Great! This is just terrific! Bill teaches them how to make their own portals, they follow us home, and now we're about to have a pest problem that knows how to use tools! How long is it until this whole place is crawling with humans?! I'm going househunting, how many rooms should I look for? 8 Ball?"

"I'm in."

"Teeth?"

Teeth sighed, but said, "Yeah. The neighborhood's going downhill. Especially if we're gonna have a pest problem."

"Big Z?"

Zanthar gave a thumbs up.

Pyronica looked at Paci-Fire. He averted his gaze. Pyronica said, "Paci?"

Sullenly, he said, "We should ask Keyhole's opinion as well."

She laughed in disbelief. Nobody cared about Keyhole's opinion, he went with whatever everyone else went with. Appealing to Keyhole was just a delaying tactic. "Fine, sure. We'll get Keyhole's opinion."

"I'm not going," Hectorgon said, crossing his arms.

Relieved, Kryptos said, "Yeah. Me neither."

"You don't have to," Pyronica snapped. "You two and Morph can wait for Bill to come back from the dead as long as you want. But the rest of us are leaving."

Kryptos tilted toward the hall, gesturing for Hectorgon to follow him away from the others. "How long do you think we can hold this place without the outerplanars?" The Quadrangle was all that remained of Bill's turf. Without Bill's energy boosting them, none of the shapes were particularly powerful. They'd always depended upon the other Henchmaniacs to guard Bill's stronghold, the heavy-hitters like Zanthar and Pyronica. Even Bill preferred to let them fight his battles when he could; Bill's energy was much vaster, but less renewable.

Hectorgon grimaced uncertainly. "We've gotta think of something fast."

####

Dipper stared at the jug in his lap, ensuring it didn't turn radioactive before they got home. Bill practically seemed to have a radar for Ford—and on top of that, could see through walls—but as far as he cared Dipper may as well have not even existed; so they'd decided that Ford would go in the main door to ensure Bill's attention was turned away while Dipper went through the gift shop and took the elevator down to Ford's study. Ford had told Dipper where to find a lead locker that would keep the Dontium contained until Ford could use it to refuel the Quantum Destabilizer; all he had to do was put it in and stare through the crack until he'd slammed the door shut.

And once they'd decided on that, the drive home had fallen deathly silent.

As the Mystery Shack appeared through the trees, Dipper asked, "We're doing the right thing, right?" His voice was quiet. "I hate him, but—we owe him our lives. And there's that prophecy..."

"Lives can't be owed," Ford said. "Yesterday he may have saved us, but tomorrow he would still destroy our world in a heartbeat. We can be grateful to be alive—but we can't let that stop us."

"So, we're doing the right thing?"

Ford was silent for much longer than Dipper would have liked. "I hope so."

####

(We're moving toward some important stuff!! Hope y'all enjoyed and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this week's chapter!)

#dipper pines #stanford pines #grunkle ford #fiddleford mcgucket #henchmaniacs #(for the art & chapter)#bill cipher #human bill cipher #(who doesn't make an appearance in this chapter but the whole fic's about him and nobody can shut up about him so he's getting tagged)#(is this the first chapter bill hasn't appeared in?? might be)#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

521 notes · View notes

featherandferns · 29 days ago

Note

Could I pretty please request:

We might have a problem...Ask me again in twenty minutes.

This sounds so much fun. I can’t wait to see what you do with it, everything you write is absolute magic<3

8. We might have a problem...Ask me again in twenty minutes.

idk which part of the series I'm taking this road chase from lmao just go with it! sorry it took me so long to get to these lmao

Neutral - prompt 8

“Guys! They’re getting closer!” Kiara calls out.

“I hate this! I hate all of this!” you loudly announce.

“Yeah, thank you, baby, keep that feedback coming - it’s very helpful,” JJ mutters.

His hands are clenching the wheel tight, knuckles white, focus trained dead ahead on the road. Speed limits are a thing of the past: a nicety that all of you have long since abandoned. Anxiety is pulsing through your veins, somehow sharpening and blurring your vision. In the dark streets of Kildare, your headlights illuminate the road ahead. Behind, are square-groupers. Some gang or another that you had collectively managed to tick off during one of your many adventures. It was becoming far from a coincidence that you all managed to find yourself in these situations time and time again.

“They’re gaining!” Cleo tells you through her thick accent.

Your head snaps around to look through the rearview. She was right. What kind of car were they driving?

“JJ!” you shout.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it,” he says underbreath, shifting up a gear, picking up the speed. The Twinkie grunts at the effort and your brows tug together, eyes glancing down to the bonnet that you can see through the front window.

“Pope! How’s it looking?” JJ asks his friend in the back. Pope inspects the roadmap, trying to make out the street names through the dimly lit back of the van. “Pope!”

“Just give me a minute!”

“We don’t have a minute!” three of you chorus.

“Oh my God, this is how we die,” Sarah very usefully says to herself. You see your boyfriend roll his eyes, aggravated, stressed and driven.

“Pope, there’s a fork coming up,” you say, making out the road layout ahead. You glance to JJ and notice he isn’t slowing down. Then, to Pope. Then, to the road. “Pope!”

“Left! Take a left!”

JJ slams on the breaks, pulls up the handbrake, shifts down a gear, and toggles with the clutch. It happens in a split second, a chaotic collection of events that is blurred into one. Everyone in the van goes flying: you into the side window, gasping out in pain at the collision. Turning the wheel tight, JJ practically skids onto the road. The engine revs like a monster truck. And then, it makes the most blood chilling, mechanic-concerning noise you’ve ever heard. JJ tries to do something with the gear shift and it wiggles uselessly in place.

“Uh oh,” he mumbles.

“Uh oh? What’s ‘uh oh’?” you panic, studying him. He cringes and looks at the road.

“Uh…We might have a problem,” he says, trying to keep his tone chipper.

“We might have a problem?” you echo, bewildered.

“Ask me again in twenty minutes,” JJ flippantly says. He keeps driving ahead, foot hard on the pedal, but something sounds different this time. Something feels different too.

“JJ,” John B says in a rather levelled out tone. The kind that hints at a deeper anxiety. “Please don’t tell me you’re driving this in neutral right now?”

“Look, man, the axel must have–”

“Oh no.”

“We’re coasting?”

“At seventy miles per hour!”

“Look! I don’t control the fates, a’right! We gotta loose these guys!” JJ argues back, lifting one hand from the wheel to wave everybody off. You reach out and slam it back onto the grip; the last thing you need is him to lose control of the car.

“Oh my God, we’re actually going to die,” Sarah repeats, and this time, you don’t entirely disagree. It feels like a real possibility now.

“Kie! Are they still tailing us?” JJ calls out. Everyone looks through the back window. A new layer of tension has stacked inside the van.

“I don’t see them,” she says, the road behinds nothing but a dark abyss. “Maybe turn down a side road just to be safe?”

“Great, yeah, just make a turn in neutral,” you mutter.

“Baby, I gotta admit, if you keep that kinda attitude up, I might actually end up crashing this car,” JJ tells you. Your mouth falls open.

“Don’t tell me something like that!”

“Just make the turn!” John B demands.

“He’s right, man!” Cleo agrees.

“There’s a side road coming up in about ten yards or so,” Pope informs.

JJ nods and you immediately steel yourself in your seat. You check your seatbelt and grip the bottom of the chair, and you wait for him to slow down. He does, but not by much, and when he finally braves the corner, you make peace with your maker.

Thankfully, no collision comes. The engine rumbles off and the gang lets out a collected sigh of relief. Slowly opening your eyes, you glance over to see your boyfriend staring blankly at his grip on the wheel. He eventually looks over at you and a smile comes onto his face.

“What’d I tell you, huh? Nothing to worry about.”

“You owe me noodles,” you tell him, unimpressed, and get out the truck. The others follow suit and Sarah actually staggers over to some trash cans, worried she might vomit. JJ heads to the car bonnet and cracks it open. Smoke billows out with steam and he waves it away, John B and Cleo coming to join him in their inspection. You wander over to help console Kie and Sarah.

“Yep, that’s what I thought!” JJ announces. You look over to him to find a piece of mechanics held up in a bandana. “The gear shift is fucked!” Your eyes narrow at him for his chipperness. He owes you even more noodles now.

#jj x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj #obx #outerbanks #outer banks #obx 4 #outer banks 4 #outerbanks 4 #jj obx 4 #jj maybank obx 4 #jj drabble #jj maybank drabble #jj x reader drabble #jj maybank x reader drabble #jj fluff #jj maybank fluff

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steviewashere · 22 days ago

Text

Late night fic idea that I'm definitely going to try and write at some point!!

Definitely very angsty. Steve's got bad parents. A few arguments. And Steve basically restarting his adult life. But it would definitely have a happy ending! Walk with me here.

In early 1987, Steve gets into a nasty argument with his parents. About how much of a disappointment he is, how he can't hold a good enough job, that he's just not who they wanted him to be. They tell him, pretty loudly, that if he can't grow up, then he needs to get out.

He, of course, is very upset by the result of this argument. Because he's trying his damn hardest at this whole adult thing. He's trying his damn hardest to be the person everybody wants him to be; the older brother, the best friend, the boyfriend—the good guy. Yet, even though he's completely emotionally devastated, he still goes to Eddie's because they have a date.

He's not very attentive during the date. Ignoring Eddie's comments sometimes. Giving half answers. And Eddie takes it the opposite of something wrong with Steve—no, he thinks there's something wrong with him. They end up having their own nasty, explosive argument. One that ends with Eddie muttering something along the lines of, "God, I hate you so much right now." He doesn't mean it, knows he doesn't mean it because it's too easy to just say a bullshit claim than talk it all out, hash it out as it is, figure out the root of the problem. However, Steve doesn't know this. Steve thinks Eddie means it.

Thinks that Eddie's just been putting on this interested facade to save Steve's lonely, battered heart. That maybe the novelty of their relationship ran out a long time ago. Eddie's just now telling it as it is; the same way Nancy had. A bullshit relationship, one that never meant anything. (And similar to Nancy, they don't really mean it. It's all just moment of passion stuff).

Steve leaves Eddie's. Leaves with his heart dropped out of him, wet and dead on Eddie's carpet. He leaves with bile in the back of his throat, eyes that ache, a head that's too messy to sort through. And then, the only idea that becomes clear to him: he has to get out.

Get out of Hawkins.

Because if Eddie was thinking something like that all along, who else has been thinking the same thing? Dustin? Max? Robin?

He goes to work. Submits a letter of resignation. Gives the courtesy of two more weeks. And then...

He packs all that he thinks he needs in a couple bags: a backpack and a duffel bag. He sells his car, the only money he now has to his name, plus whatever his last Family Video paycheck is. Steve gets on the closest bus, one that'll take him to a shuttle, and he takes a train out of Indiana.

Goes west. Goes to a shitty neighborhood in Sacramento, as far as he can get. He got the transfer request sent over to a Family Video here, he'll start there soon. He stays in a hotel for a couple nights, a couple nights before he finds a last minute lease for a shitty apartment.

And he just stays there. Stays in Sacramento.

He calls Robin's house once on a payphone, that way he can't be tracked. Robin's not home when he calls. He gives a message to her mom: "Tell Robin that I'm sorry. And...and that I love"—he'd sigh—"Yeah. Yeah, just tell her that I'm sorry, please. I did what I had to." He hangs up, doesn't give another way for him to be contacted and he moves on.

Some years pass. He hasn't been taking care of himself all that well, it's noticeable in how he looks. Scraggly facial hair, heavy eyes, lanky and skinny body, he's mowed down most of his hair. Just looks like an imposter in his own skin. He's working a different dead-end retail job—some supermarket, one that's owned by a corporation, he's one in thousands; somebody not cared for. His social life is nothing. He's weird around other people, weird in general; trauma that's been left unsolved, nightmares that keep him awake (so his neighbors now have a vendetta against him), stares too hard, doesn't like to talk anymore. He's hollow. A man who nobody knows, no connotations, no stupid hierarchies or nicknames attached to him. He's just Steve Harrington, some guy.

Yet, in the time he's been there, he takes up a few hobbies. Ones that work well with his secluded lifestyle. He picks up painting and photography. Things he never thought he'd be interested in. But...but he gets too bored, so he tries.

Finds out that he's good. Finds out that he's good enough for his own small studio space. For a small exhibit in the local art museum. And there, on the floor of his exhibit, idling between people who want to know more about the guy that keeps showing up in his paintings: brown eyes and pink mouth and smiles that are too big for his face; and the woman: a bob with bangs, crystal blue eyes, and a kindness that shows in her soft smiles; it's there that he sees an all too familiar face.

Eddie meets his eyes. Older, grown into his body, same brown eyes, same long curly hair. And there's a sheen of tears in his stare. A recognition he never thought he'd receive.

And there's silence. People passing them by.

Until, when the exhibit is empty except for them, Steve can only muster a simple, "Hey." And a smile, something thin that doesn't feel very real. Didn't want to be found, not yet. But in the paintings, he's been dreaming; he's been searching.

From the entryway of another exhibit, one that connects to Steve's, Robin appears. She's got that '90s pixie. And cherry stained lips. Grunge eyeshadow and an ill fitting, hole-riddled t-shirt that Steve slowly realizes is one he wore; those red Converse from Scoops, faded black Sharpie, but the only text that's still dark (as if it's been written over and over) is one he put there: "Dingus was here". She doesn't even speak. Only knows. Tripping over her own feet, dashing across the waxed floor, sliding across it with clumsy limbs. Crashing straight into Steve, hefting him up in her arms, squeezing him so tight he can't breathe.

When she places him back down on the ground, standing side by side with Eddie, the two of them simply staring at him in awe and relief, Eddie finally speaks for the two of them.

He fucking speaks. His voice is dripping with relief, yearning rich and honey-sweet in the vowels. Words full of love that's been stirring slow like a stew in his heart, thick and clogging.

"There you are, sweetheart. There you are."

#stranger things #steddie #platonic stobin #steve harrington #eddie munson #angst and hurt/comfort #eventual happy ending #fic idea

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resident-dumb-fuck · 15 days ago

Text

richard iii dashboard simulator. i thought it would be funny and here we are

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

what if i caused problems on purpose <3

0 notes

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

oh no... i cant believe the king is having my brother killed... oh noooo

#FUCK YOU GEORGE

3 notes

💥ladyanne Follow

man i miss my husband and father in law

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

hey

💥ladyanne

shut the fuck up you literally killed them??? get off my post

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

can i try rizzing you up

💥ladyanne

um. sure?

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

💥ladyanne

i can't believe i'm saying this but this is kind of working.

🧍‍♂️gentleman-retainer

anyone else in this thread smoke weed

958 notes

🌹lancaster-official Follow

you all suck.

@/elizabeth-woodville your son will die and you will be deposed and youre gonna die SAD and ALONE.

@/river-severn @/dorset-sheep and @/billhastings you're gonna get executed

@/halfhearteddickjoke hm. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. nobody hang out with this conniving bitch i hate him i hate him so much and i am three seconds away from killing him constantly.

🐦fuckinghim Follow

get off tumblr margaret we're in court

🌹lancaster-official

he's not gonna want you as his boytoy forever

🐦fuckinghim

WE'RE NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP??????

🌹lancaster-official

i've seen you talk to him. i know what you are

5000 notes

🗼mr-london-tower Follow

just heard george duke of clarence say "snork mimi" aloud i'm gonna [remembers that suicide jokes do nothing for my mental health] request to be moved away from guarding his cell

🗼mr-london-tower

update: so it turns out the malmsey wine is unusable, for related reasons to this man.

#fuckin. dead body in the malmsey. cant have nice things around here #i hate my job so bad

94 notes

eddie-baby-deactivated

yayyy everybody is friends now :)

🐗halfhearted-dick-joke

dude you literally killed clarence??? you cant be having other people making friends youre a murderer

eddie-baby-deactivated

WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I CANCELED THAT ORDER???

🐗halfhearted-dick-joke

you killed that guy man what the fuck. you cant be doing that

764 notes

👗elizabeth-woodville Follow

I regret to inform you all that the king has died.

5 notes

✨cecily-not-sicily Follow

dude my sons GOTTA stop dying. this is so fucked.

3 notes

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

i do so love to cause problems on purpose :)

#sorry to any family members of lords rivers, vaughan, and grey. um. you will not be seeing them anymore! <3

1285 notes

🐦fuckinghim Follow

preteens are so scary for no reason??? had to interact with two for work and like. they suck so bad. "i fear no uncles dead" shut the fuck up you smartass little shit. also had to explain to them the history of the tower of london which. i don't fucking know that shit! i don't know who built the tower of london! it sure as fuck wasn't julius caesar!

7 notes

#️⃣billhastings Follow

SOMEONE has got to stop waking me up in the middle of the night to hear their dreams

#️⃣billhastings

oh what the fuck.

607 notes

🍓bishop-ely Follow

crazy day at work today

#never go outside to get strawberries worst mistake of my life #came back in the room and they were accusing hastings of witchcraft. like sure yeah i guess

20 notes

🐦fuckinghim Follow

richard duke of gloucester should be king because not only are edward v and richard duke of york illegitimate but also so was edward iv. also richard duke of gloucester is just. kind of an all around good guy! as opposed to edward iv who ah. how do i put this in a manner that isn't horribly offensive. yeah okay figured it out. not a great person! unpleasant to be around!

also if you wanna know what was up with hastings he was a traitor don't worry about it.

954 notes

💥ladyanne Follow

RICHARD. RICHARD WHEN I CATCH YOU RICHARD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KING OF ENGLAND

2 notes

🐦fuckinghim Follow

shit dude that one vine wasn't lying. what the fuck richard

#i have to leave immediately. jesus fucking christ man.

500 notes

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

yay king of england :) i will be very good at this i feel

#everybody's always like "what the fuck richard you can't kill two kids" or "why would you do that" and never like "was it fun having those preteens killed. it looked fun"

0 notes

🌹lancaster-official Follow

@/halfhearteddickjoke FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

submitted by @/elizabeth-woodville

90 notes

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

wow everything is going so bad. what the entire shit @/fuckinghim

2 notes

🐦fuckinghim Follow

ughhh margaret was right. NOT ABOUT THE BOYTOY THING

307 notes

®️henry-twoder-or-something Follow

hi ive been here the whole time. ive done the math and i do technically have a claim to the throne :)

83 notes

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

i cant believe im saying this but i did just have an ebenezer scrooge moment. god i hate it here.

#maybe i am a bad person

54 notes

®️henry-twoder-or-something Follow

wow richard has died :) i cant believe i am the king now! yayyyy

2 notes

🚣‍♂️resident-dumb-fuck Follow

final message from op! sorry everyone. im so annoying about this forever

#richard iii #unreality #sorry everyone!#shakespeare #long post #like. so long that i sent this to my friend who didn't have a tumblr and halfway through tumblr was like “no you need an account”

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lazycats-stuff · 1 year ago

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I'd like to request batfam x male reader, who crotchets a lot. He has some medical issues, so he doesn't go on patrol, he helps out with information gathering though.

When Damian got added to the strays, the reader tried being a good older brother, and he crochets him a little stuffed animal for him as a welcome gift. Everyone in the family has one, even Alfred. Let's say, Damian had a bad day, and coincidentally the reader just finished the crochet animal and goes to his room to give it to Damian. Damian snaps and destroys the stuffed animal in front of the reader, also saying some pretty hurtful stuff. The reader cries because it took a lot of time to male it. You can end it however you want

Take your time <3

Sure. Oh Damian is so dead. Nobody messes with (Y/N).

Summary: Damian messes with the wrong brother.

Warnings: angst, fluff, reader is a sweetheart, everyone loves the reader, unspecified medical problems...

(Y/N) sometimes envied his brothers. If it weren't for his medical problems, he would have been out and running, fighting crimes. But he was still happy with his position as Oracle number two, helping Alfred out when it came to patrol and information gathering.

" Can I get you some more tea, master (Y/N)? " Alfred asked him, standing up.

" Please do. " (Y/N) said, giving Alfred his favorite mug.

(Y/N) turned his head back to the computer, rubbing his eyes. He yawned, putting his hand over his mouth.

" Tired? " Alfred asked as he poured some tea.

" A little bit. " (Y/N) answered.

" Guys, we need access to GCPD data base. " Bruce said through the comms.

" You have an access to it, why do we have to? " (Y/N) asked, confused. Alfred came back with tea, also confused.

" Something is jamming the access. " Bruce explained further. (Y/N) put the tea aside, trying to get into the said database.

" Hmm. Something is happening with the network. It's down... " (Y/N) said, confused.

" I would go to GCPD and check it out. " (Y/N) said, taking his tea.

" Alright, will do. "

With that, it was quiet and they knew that this was in one way or another it for the night. (Y/N) glanced at the crocheted bat he made for Bruce.

(Y/N) had a little bit of tradition for everybody. He makes little stuffed animals. Every single member has one, even Alfred. He would make it for everyone who would come into the family, just to feel welcome.

And it did work. It made all of them feel nice and welcoming. And it made them like (Y/N) and it made everyone more protective of (Y/N). Jason took the number one spot at the amount of protectiveness he had for (Y/N).

Everything changed when Bruce announced he had a biological son. With Talia al Ghul. (Y/N) didn't know what to think about it. Bruce was always saying to use protection, so how did it happen? As a playboy, you are supposed to be a careful person when it comes to sex.

" I'm sorry, how did Damian happen? You are usually the one telling us to watch ourselves, you know, use protection amongst other things. " (Y/N) asked, taking a sip of his tea.

" Talia spiked my drink. " Bruce said, making Jason snort. (Y/N) smacked him on the arm.

" I'm sorry, but how didn't you notice it? " Jason questioned, trying not to lose control again.

" Jason not now. Damian is in the cave, Alfred is going to bring him up. Please be nice. " Bruce said, sighing as he heard Alfred coming.

Everyone turned their heads to see Alfred walking in with a small boy with green eyes and who eerily looked like Bruce at that age. (Y/N) knew because he saw the pictures once. Alfred showed him the photos.

" Everyone, this is master Damian. Master Damian these are master Jason, master (Y/N), master Tim and master Dick. " Alfred introduced Damian to everyone.

Damian didn't say anything, instead he turned back to Alfred to ask him to show him his room.

" I don't know about you, but this is going to be interesting. " Jason said to (Y/N).

" I think he just needs to adjust. It's never easy to come somewhere new. " (Y/N) replied, taking another sip of his tea.

" Will he get a stuffed animal too? " Jason asked, standing up.

" Yup. It's a tradition here so... " (Y/N) said, trailing off.

" If you say so. " Jason said, watching as (Y/N) took last sips of his tea before putting the mug into the sink.

" Any chance I can ask you to help me with a case? " Jason tried as they were going to their rooms.

" Nope. I need my sleep. " (Y/N) said, opening his bedroom door.

" You are mean. " Jason said, chuckling. " Good night. "

" Good night Jay. "

It has been a couple of weeks and (Y/N) finally finished up his stuffed animal for Damian. He made a Robin stuffed animal in his colors. Well, the suits color. Green and red with a R to symbolize the Robin. He was happy with his creation and was now actively looking for Damian.

What (Y/N) didn't know however, was the fact that Damian had a very bad day. To put it bluntly, everything went to shit. Absolutely everything that Damian had planned went to shit. Absolutely everything and there was nothing he could have done to prevent it.

Coincidently, (Y/N) decided to gift the stuffed animal to Damian. He knocked on Damian's door, entering after hearing a harsh what. (Y/N) entered the room, holding his bird in his hands.

" So, we have a tradition here where I make newcomers stuffed animals. So here is yours. "

" I don't need that right now! And I don't need something from someone so worthless to the family! " He yelled grabbing the stuffed bird, ripping it apart.

(Y/N) was heartbroken. He slowly stepped out, closing the door before he started crying in the hall.

" (Y/N), what's wrong?! " Jason asked, confused. He just came from the dining room and seeing his favorite brother sad was something that should be illegal. (Y/N) shook his head, running to his room and slamming the door shut.

Jason scowled, wondering what made (Y/N) upset. Well, who made him upset... He looked at Damian's door and went there. He opened the door and his eyes feel down onto the remains of (Y/N)'s stuffed animal. He looked up at Damian before he jumped at him.

The two started fighting. Jason was blinded with anger and rage, punching wherever he could. Bruce heard the commotion and when he saw what was happening, he had to tear Jason off of Damian.

It was difficult to separate them, but once he did, he was pissed. Beyond angry.

" WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?! " Bruce yelled, mad now.

" He took (Y/N)'s animal and tore it apart! He is heartbroken! You didn't saw him when he started crying! " Jason yelled back, face bloody. The kid can definitely punch.

" Out. I will talk to Damian. " Bruce said calmly. Jason wiped his nose, going straight to the bathroom in his room to clean it up.

He can't allow his brother to see him bloody. He really can't. He washed his face and once he made sure that he has stopped the bleeding, he went to (Y/N)'s room. He opened the door and his heart broke.

(Y/N) was still crying on the bed, curled into a fetal position.

" Oh (Y/N)... Come here. " Jason said softly. (Y/N) sniffed and turned to face Jason. Jason sat down on the edge. (Y/N) moved closer and put his head in Jason's lap.

" Why did he do that? I just tried to be nice... " (Y/N) asked and Jason gently scratched (Y/N)'s scalp.

" I know that. Damian is just Damian... " Jason said, knowing that (Y/N) doesn't like when they are talking negatively about Damian. Or any of them.

Jason stayed like that for a couple of hours and (Y/N) fell asleep during that. Jason didn't mind, but he had to move. He gently put (Y/N)'s head on a pillow. He covered him and left the room.

He didn't expect to see Damian in the hall.

" What do you want? " Jason asked quietly, not to disturb (Y/N).

" I wanted to... Apologize. "

" Did Bruce make you do that? " Jason said, not believing a single word that came out of Damian's mouth.

" No. I just had a bad day and I let it out on the wrong person. " Damian said, meaning every word of it.

" Well, don't wake him up now. You know, everyone has a stuffed animal made by (Y/N). Even Alfred. " Jason said. " Bruce has one near the Batcomputer and sometimes takes it with him somewhere important. He took it to outer space once. " Jason wasn't sure why he was telling that to Damian, but it felt important that he knows. " Again, don't wake him up. " Jason said, leaving Damian.

Damian had no plans on doing it.

#batfamily x male reader #dc x male reader #dc comics #x male reader #batfamily #batkids #bruce wayne x male reader #jason todd x male reader

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ashwhowrites · 3 months ago

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can I request one where it after the upside down and Eddie is not doing good and pushes everybody away including the reader then he realises that he really misses the Reader and beg for reader forgiveness and they make up. please and thank you love youuu.!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

The upside down curse

The Upside Down had effects on many people, some were used to it and some experienced it for the first time. Y/N and the gang had been to the Upside Down more than once. They were slowly getting used to the torture and haunting memories.

Eddie was new to it all. The things he's seen and the pain he went through, it kept him up at night. He didn't understand how they went on with their life like they didn't see death right in their face. He stayed locked up in his room, body slowly healing as he tried to forget it all.

He started to push everyone away, seeing them reminded him of what happened. And he knew he shouldn't but he blamed all his friends and even his girlfriend. They all kept him in the dark until they needed his help. They had no problem lying right to his face over and over. They knew the dangers of the Upside Down and still sent him in. He wasn't sure if he could forgive them for that.

"Eddie," Wayne's voice came through the door as he knocked, "Y/N is here."

Eddie rolled over in his bed, looking at the door. A part of him wanted to see her but the other part was still mad about what she did.

"Tell her to go home," Eddie called out

He was met with silence, then the sound of footsteps walking away and a door closing.

~~~

She came every day and he always sent her away. But she kept showing up, even on days that Wayne wasn't there. The door was never locked and she never opened it. Y/N was a person who liked to talk everything out and he knew that conversation wouldn't end well. He feared he'd lose his temper and a screaming match would start. He almost lost her in the upside down and he wasn't ready to lose her here.

"Eddie? It's been two weeks, can we please talk about it?"

Like clockwork, her voice traveled through his door. He sighed but sat up. He thought about what he wanted to do.

"Eddie?" She asked again, knocking on the door. Eddie sat in silence with his thoughts, unaware his silence made her think the worst.

She panicked and slammed open the door. Relief in her veins as she saw him sitting on his bed.

"I didn't say you could come in," he said, no emotion in his voice as he stared ahead.

"You didn't answer! I thought you were dead or something" she argued, taking time to step into his room. She hadn't seen him in over two weeks and never realized how much she could miss seeing someone's face.

Eddie scoffed and shook his head. "Right because now you care if I'm dead or not."

Y/N clenched her eyes at his words. "Of course, I care. I've always cared," she said, moving to sit next to him. Her head turned to look at him but he didn't look back at her, head still straight.

"Eddie, I never wanted you to get involved in this" she whispered

Eddie's head snapped towards her, "then why did you?" He snapped

"I didn't!" She argued, "I didn't know you were coming. If I did, I would have locked you inside this trailer. I'd never want you in danger like that!"

"Right, that's why you all initially lied to me. You all wanted to protect me. But then what? You needed someone to save your asses and I was the damn sacrifice!" He fought, standing up as he felt his anger building.

"You can blame us all you want, but guess what Eddie!" She stood in front of him, her own anger taking over. "You made the choice, you made the choice to listen and go in. Take responsibility for it and let me help you." Her voice grew soft at the end. "I know you were scared, and I hate that I wasn't there right when you needed me. But I'm here now, let me be here, baby"

Eddie melted when her hands rested on his cheeks. He could feel his anger breaking down and the build-up of tears leaked down his face.

"I thought I was going to die" he whimpered, "I didn't want to die yet"

Y/N watched as he broke out into a sob, his head shoved into her neck. She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back as he cried.

"You're safe now, honey. You're right where you should be," she cooed into his ear.

He wrapped his arms around her, so tight that she couldn't move an inch. Not that she minded. She was happy to finally feel him again.

"I'm sorry," he cried, "I'm sorry I pushed you away."

"It's okay, it's okay," she said softly, kissing his head softly. "We'll be okay"

@mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlx @ineedmentalhelp123

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson request #eddie munson fluff x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson angst x reader #ashwhowrites #eddie munson angst x female reader #eddie munson angst to fluff

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petew21-blog · 4 months ago

Text

Teen wolf-Alpha needs his pack, Pt. 3

Stiles P.O.V.

"Stiles knew that being a wolf wasn't an automatic win against other enemies. He knew from Scott what it took. But he thought that now when he had Derek's body, it would take more than 8 hours since he become Derek to get caught. Maybe he shouldn't have gone for the bait as his instinct was telling him, but there was no other clue to follow. Besides his mind was still blown from the sex he had few hours ago with Derek. In Derek's body! Yeah, it was kinda weird fucking his own body, but you know a hole is a hole? Nah his body was attractive and Stiles knew it. And he was now a dominating man, he was Derek and everybody feared him. Wait? Am I really trying to narrate my life now? My hands are tied. I'm imprissoned in Derek's body and my only thought is how to narrate my life? I might be more dominant now or just dominating Derek in my body? Man it was so funny to see him act so submisive. He even sucked his own dick!"

Someone entered the room wearing black clothes and a mask. "Thank you for following us. You have made our plans far easier than we thought you would."

Stiles:"Don't you worry. The pack is on their way"

The man:"Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that. And even if they are, well be already gone after we have collected our needed samples. And you might be already dead."

"Oh boy. I hope Scott's gonna come soon. I know he was acting weird lately, but this is about the wolf pack..."

Theo's P.O.V.

Theo:"Scott's body is so awesome. I know I was talking shit about it before, but the strength. Oh god. And I even think that the wolf pack is getting stranger too. But back to me now.

Theo:"My new arms still have to get more bigger, but I must say I am very fond of them. The power that these guns hold is incredible.

Theo:"I still have to remind myself that this is me now whenever I look in the mirror. I always expect Scott to start speaking whenever I approach the mirror. Speaking of Scott. He's still my little bitch now. He calls me 'my alpha' whenever we are not in school. But whenever I see a spark of resistance or free will I have to make sure je won't stand up to me. I hope he knows how I can destroy his life AND how powerful his body, now belonging to me, really is."

Scott came out of the hall entering his old bedroom.

Scott:"I... I have scrubbed the whole toilet and I am now ready for you message, my alpha"

Theo:"About damn time! Took you long enough!"

Theo sat down in the chair in front of the mirror and watched every step that Scott took. He was very cautious now. His master was could get angry over any minor mistake.

Scott:"Should I start with your shoulders as before, my alpha?"

Theo just raised his eyebrows which Scott appreciated. Two days ago when he asked him, Theo threw him across the room and made him lick his feet.

Theo:"Why are you wearing that flanel in my body?"

Scott:"I am so sorry, my alpha. I won't wear it again, my alpha."

Theo:"The hell you will. From now on you will not wear anything until I tell you to. And you will only wear the clothes I will approve. Since you already basjcally live here, serving me, you can get your things and leave them in the basement. You'll be living there from now on. Understood?"

Scott:"I think your family will notice."

Theo:"Did you just spoke without adressing me by my rightful title?"

Scott immediately panicked. Theo stood up and Scott could see his face transforming

Theo:"WHAT DO YOU SEE?!?"

Scott bending down on his knees looking up at his own body:"I see my alpha, my alpha. I am sorry. It will not happen again. Let me make it up to you, my alpha"

Scott started unbuckling the belt. Theo just smiled with his teeth still out. Yeah, that's the way he liked it. He pushed his semi-hard dick into Scott's mouth and thrusted. Theo now knew that he had to make his master happy. And a flacid dick was a problem. He tightened his mouth to make his master feel the pleasure more intensively. He looked up. By the way his master looked at him and the hard dick in his mouth, he could see he made his master happy. His own dick started getting hard too. Scott hated this. He never was this submissive. And now the way Theo treated him made him hard. Or was that Theo's body? He had to find a way to swap them back. He wanted to contact Stiles but couldn't. He always eyed him suspiciously in the halls. Stiles must have noticed that something changed. He needs to contact him somehow. But Theo took his phone and wallet.

Theo was beggining to scream. It was coming and Scott knew that now was the moment he had to act fast. He sped up. Theo was furious now, destroying his old body's soft palate. He came into his old mouth. Screaming and transforming in the process. That's how he liked it.

Scott felt the cum in his mouth. It tasted horribly. Theo in his body only ate meat now, no sugar. So the cum was really disgusting. He quickly swallowed and as soon as Theo took out his dick he said:"Thank you, my alpha!"

Theo just laughed and put his trousers back on. The laughter intesified as he noticed the cum stain on the kneeling Scott's trousers.

Theo:"I hope you understood your punishment for not adressing me properly. Now, take off your clothes. You won't be needing them in this house anymore. Now go and finish cleaning the car!"

Theo looked sat down on the bed looking at himself in the mirror. Man how he loved this. His phone rang. Stiles was calling.

Scott:"Fucking hell. This douchebag is harassing me at school and now he calls me in the middle of the night? What's wrong with this dude?" He picked up the phone. "Someone better be dying!"

Derek:"Hey, this is Der... Stiles. Yeah. Uh... I need your help. I saw Derek few hours ago and he said he will come back to talk to me about some issue we had. He never came back and I am 100% sure it was a wolf thing and he might be in danger. Come to my house I'll show you where he went"

Theo:"Fine... but you're not coming with us. You're not part of the pack."

Derek:"I... just come "

Theo turned off the call and screamed out:"Hey bitch. We're going for a trip. Get my clothes I wore yesterday and wear them!"

Theo parked outside of Stiles's home. Stiles walked out of the house. Theo could see that his walk was different, but he shrugged it off. Not caring anyway. Stiles got into the car to the passenger's seat. He turned around to see Theo in the backseat.

Derek:"Why are you here?"

Scott looked at the rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of approval from Theo to start speaking. Theo slightly nodded

Scott:"Well I am part of the pack and I wanted to help the alpha."

Derek looked back at Theo and wasn't really sure what was going on. "Right. Anyway, go straight and I'll tell you where to go"

Theo:"I told you on the phone you're not going with us!"

Derek:"Do you want your pack protected or not Scott? If yes, than drive! He might be dead already and if so then I am screwed. So drive now or I will get sheriff's gun from the house and go there by myself"

Theo found the answer very strange and more so did Scott who couldn't hold himself and straight away asked his friend as he normally would

Scott:"Why aren't you adressing your dad as 'dad's?"

Theo had to hide his anger and rather started the car.

Derek looked back and just answered:"Don't know, didn't give it much thought"

Scott knew there was something different. This isn't his Stiles that he knew

They arrived near the abbandoned factory.

Theo:"Ok, we'll go in check the perimeter and get him. You stay in the car, Stiles."

Derek:"Not happening I'm going too"

Theo:'"Not a chance. THEO, you will stay here and watch him. I'm gonna have a look. Have your phone ready."

Scott:"Yes, my alpha" Scott immediately realized his mistake by addressing his master in front of Stiles. He's gonna know. That actually might not be a bad thing. He wanted to talk to him in a week now and never had the chance.

Theo got angry by Scott's answer but there was no time to solve that now. He headed into the factory by the side entrance.

Derek:"Why are you so submissive to Scott suddenly? You never acted like this. You always wanted to be better and acted like you're better than all of us. What changed?"

Scott:"I know you might not believe this, but hear me out. I've been trying to tell you for a week now, but he wouldn't let me. I am Scott. Theo swapped us and now has made me his sex slave. I wanted to escape and everything, but he threatened to hurt you or destroy my life and everything. I really wanted to tell you sooner, Stiles. I really did" Scott was crying softly

Derek:"That's touching and everything, but I'm not Stiles."

Scott:"What?!"

Derek:"Yeah... your naive little friend wanted to get close to you and bought a second hand potion. Now he's acting dominant in my body and on his first hunt got himself caught immediately."

Scott:"So the person inside in danger right now is Stiles?" Scott ran out of the car into the building. Derek right after him.

Theo got to Stiles first. He was still handcuffed to the fence.

Theo:"Oh what do we have here? Aren't you suppose to be my big mentor teaching me stuff about being a wolf? Not getting caught seems like an essential skill. Now don't you think?"

Stiles:"Can you let me go? They left right after your car arrived so they still might be nearby."

Theo:"Doubt that. With three wolfs here, they won't risk that. But I can see that they set some traps on their way from here. There's a trip wire over there." Theo unhooked Derek's body. He took off his shirt and threw it at Derek. "I don't have bandages, so just take this to atleast cover the bloody spots where they took the samples

Stiles put the shirt on. Few seconds later Theo and his own body ran into the building

Derek:"Fucking me is one thing, but almost getting my body killed and mutilated is a different level. We're leaving"

Derek grabbed his body with by his arm pressing one of the sample sites causing him pain

Derek:"I hope it hurts. If they make another chimera and it's gonna be my clone, I swear I'm gonna kill you" Derek was too focused on speaking to Stiles that he didn't see the trip wire while leaving the room

Theo:"NOOOOOO!:

They expected an explosion. But instead a gas from the ceiling sprayed them.

Scott:"Posion?"

Stiles:"That smell exactly like the..."

Derek:"Like another way to make me angry"

They passed out.

They woke up almost instantly. The four of them now looking at a very different point of view than they had before

Derek:"Oh shoot me now!"

Stiles:"Did we just?"

Scott:"How is this possible?"

Theo:"No way you guys just made us all do a potion swap. And you swapped into HIM?"

Derek:"Let's get out of here before we'll be attacked or something. They wanted Scott to be out of his body before and they got that. Let's get out of here right now"

They went to Stiles's house. His dad was still on duty. There was one message left from him if everything is ok. Some of the four sent a message back to him, but besides that there was nothing to worry about. Maybe just the swap thing. And who was who now?

Scott found himself in Derek's body. Derek was now in Scott's

Theo was Stiles and vice versa.

Theo talked to Derek's body that was now occupied by Scott:"Look I'm really sorry for how I treated you earlier. I didn't really mean..." be was interrupted by a punch from Derek

Theo fell on the floor. "Ok I deserved that. But maybe think about the fact that I am a fucking nerdy human right now and I can't handle this power"

Scott:"I should kill you for how you treated me"

Stiles:"So you guys also bought a option from a sketchy lady?" Stiles said with his shirt already off examining his new chest.

Derek:"Nobody is as naive as you, Stiles. Theo set him up to be the new alpha. Which would work out perfectly if you wouldn't spoil jis plans by getting caught"

Stiles:"Again. I am sorry. They surprised me. I really wanted to prove myself to you, you know."

Derek:"You don't need to prove anything. I know you'd be capable of handling it. It was your first day as a wolf. Mistakes happen. And even we are not able to get the Dread doctors."

Scott:"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but can I talk to Stiles alone, please? Maybe you could check if Theo is still breathing? I think Stiles might want his body back"

Stiles:"Yeah... we'll see about that"

Derek:"Sure. It's not like I got something to do anyway"

Scott:"Stiles, I am so sorry that Theo acted to you the way he did. I wanted to tell you before, I promise. But he threatened me, to hurt you and everything. He even made me his sex slave and forced me to walk around naked. So I want to thank you, even if it was coincidental, that you set me free."

Stiles:"Oh... well no problem. I mean, we're best BROS right? Come on let's just hug it out, man" Theo's and Derek's body hugged. While Stiles's body controlled by Theo looked at them in disgust while spitting blood.

Stiles:"You know, let's leave Derek here with Theo for a while. I got something I want to give to you."

The two of them left to Stiles bedroom.

Stiles:"If you want to give me something for saying you, I might be able to give something to you that might help with your ptsd right now"

Scott:"And what would that be?"

Stiles smiled as he went kissed Derek's body.

Stiles:"I think it would help you to dominate Theo's body, that's now already leaking while looking at you, and I might actually enjoy this too. I really fell in love with Derek's body. Especially the thing you got in your pants.

Stiles grabbed Derek's dick and smiled at Scott with Theo's smile.

They lied down into bed. Making out. Scott was using his new massive arms to take off their clothes, throwing them on the ground. They didn't stop making out. Only when Stiles made Scott sit on top of him to kiss his chest and inhale the musk that he just possessed few hours ago.

They were now lying naked in Stiles's bed. Their hard dicks pressing against each other. Derek's hairy body scrathing the hairless body Stiles now fully enjoyed.

Stiles interrupted the making out session:"What did he make you call him?"

Scott:"My alpha"

Stikes:"Oh my alpha. I need you dick inside of my. I need to be punished for making you suck your own dick so much. It's time to punish me, my alpha"

Scott enjoyed Theo's faced being so submisive. Maybe it was also Derek's massive body that made him the dominant role Stiles was leading him into.

Scott:"Turn around, bitch"

Stiles smiled and did so. He heard as Scott spat saliva into his hand and rubbed it over his dick and then over his hole.

Stiles:"I got some lube here, you know"

Scott:"This bitch needs to get it rough!"

Stiles:"Oh yes, my alpha. Fuck me, my alpha!"

The two massive wolf bodies were practically destroying the bed. Stiles was holding on to the wood, while Scott was fucking him senslessly.

Scott:"Tell me who i am!"

Stiles:"You're my alpha!!!!"

Scott:"Fuck right I am. No matter whose body I'm in."

Stiles:"Fuck, DEREK, I think I'm cumming already!!!!"

Scott:"Did you just call me Derek?"

Stiles:"Sorry. Heat of the moment. Fuck, this body really wants to be humiliated!?"

Scott:"Yeah. Been there. Call me my alpha again!"

Stiles was circling around Derek's dick. He loved how Derek's massive cock was messaging his new prostate. Even if he came already, he had DEREK's dick inside of him!!!

Scott was increasing his speed. It took him some time, maybe cause Stiles already used Derek's body to fill his old hole. But Scott came inside. Stiles now felt the warm cum inside of him. It was so hot...

They were next to each other, smiling at one another. Hugging. Exploring their new bodies together.

Stiles:"What do we do now?"

Scott:"About the swap you mean? Not sure about that, but wanna go for round two when were both ready?"

They just smiled at themsleves again. Making out.

You guys really love Teen wolf 🤣

Another 2 stories from inbox that I combined together (Liam is coming in the next part!)

Could you do a Teen Wolf story including Scott, Theo and Stiles?

Is it possible to make a follow up of your teen wolf story where Theo transoform Scott even further into his beta bitch? like maybe forcing him to wear the clothes he chose, or no clothes at all in the house. Or even include Liam. That would be awesome, thanks :D

Part 2:

#body switch #body swap #gay to straight #teen wolf body swap #teen wolf scott #teen wolf derek hale #derek hale #stiles stilinski #scott mccall #Teen wolf theo #M2m body swap

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omegalomania · 10 months ago

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so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.

i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.

there are 187 songs total listed.

bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release

italicized songs are songs by other bands

underlined songs indicate songs that are covers

songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.

additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]

20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care

I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]

I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.

anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it

#fall out boy #tourdust #*making poasts #trying to format this conventionally BROKE THE POST so i did my best #i burned my grilt cheese typing all this up pls appreciate it #the weird break in the middle is cause otherwise it wouldnt post. mea culpa.

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