#I'm aware the studio has had problems | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haliteatiger · 6 months ago

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Happy Werewolf Wednesday, ya'll! We're serving up a big pot of tea tonight so get those cups ready!

Special thanks to Blackbackedjackal and King for their help in putting this together, editing, and especially to Jackal for being so supportive and encouraging. I'm very much not normally the type to do call-out posts, but people need to be aware of Dogblud, as she has hurt, not only myself, but quite a few others as well, and seems to have somehow gotten away with behaving like this for 20-odd years. I'm of the mind she shouldn't be allowed to do so any more, hence this post.

TL;DR - Beware of Dogblud, aka Ashryn, aka DogofBlud, aka ThatDogMagic. Very, very long post under the cut.

With everything happening with DogBlud and Blackbackedjackal's studio, I felt emboldened to come forward with my own experiences with her. This is something I've been carrying around since it happened roughly 2 years ago. It was one of the main reasons that put me off drawing werewolves, my own characters, or engaging any more in the fandom. I've hinted at it a few times but I've never had the energy to come forward and deal with the fall out. I wanted to move on with the rest of my life because IRL was more important than online drama. And I knew her behavior would come back to bite her sooner or later, regardless of what I did.

It's been very validating to see that I was right.

It was around the time that Blud and I became friends that I was feeling a bit burnt out on werewolves. I'd been trying to pull together my own werewolf-related project for something close to 12 years. The past 4 years had also been pretty draining on me creatively and socially, as it had for a lot of artists with regards to the pandemic. I also had some IRL things I was dealing with: mainly with my marriage and transitioning between medications to manage my anxiety + bipolar.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight to screenshot everything at the time. I do have logs from back when we roleplayed together. There are several conversations in them but because they were saved as text documents, they're pretty dubious in terms of solid evidence.

It would have been better if I had taken screenshots as it was happening, rather than just saving the logs. With what I *do* have, however, I feel as though it may be enough to make the point that I'm trying to make, and to exhibit how horrible things got.

I'll provide some context.

I had talked with Blud on and off over the years, and we had always gotten along. We had a lot in common and after we had started talking more, our friendship eventually grew into a collaborative project. We were going to combine our stories and write a comic based on it. We had a lot of discussions on how Blud was reticent to do this in the beginning and how she wanted a contract to be made up so that in the event that something *did* happen, we could both walk away feeling like it was handled fairly.

Honestly, I should have listened to the first alarm that went off in my brain, when, in an act of ominous foreboding she said something along the lines of don't be so sure, it could happen. It was in response to me being like "we're getting along so well and share so much of a bond right now. I can't fathom that being a problem!"

The contract never materialized. It was something we had decided to do *after* we had put together something of a prototype project to see how well we worked together. It made complete sense to me at the time as we were both eager to focus on the fun parts of writing and drawing together.

It was decided that I would be the lead artist (doing coloring and final lines) while Blud would do everything else (which was inking, layouts, and the majority of the writing). The both of us felt that she had more experience in those areas. I also believed that she had a better knack for it as well. I had felt that she had a better understanding of story structure than myself. And I thought that Blud had felt the same way about my art. That I had the experience to take point on that.

Since I had collaborated with other artists and writers before, I attempted to approach the project with the same sort of professionalism I always do. Especially the projects that I genuinely thought stood a chance of being published in the future. We had started out trying to get a feel for each other's flows and rhythms. I had expected Blud to try and meet me in the middle of where our processes would potentially differ from one another, so that we could develop a fairly smooth workflow.

I had also expected, according to our discussions on the matter, that we would value each other's opinions on things and take them into consideration. We had such good synchronicity already.

In the beginning, there wasn't any unusual behavior that caught my attention. Blud was a bit uncomfortable with trying out new things but I did my best to accommodate her so that our project could move forward without too much turbulence. She had also mentioned to me before that she was autistic, and since my husband is also autistic, I knew how difficult it could be when it came to adapting to new routines. But when it was time for her to deliver the first set of layouts, it wasn't at all what I expected.

What I had expected was something with margins, clearly marked boxes, and figures that I could do rough lines over. I also expected notes that confirmed what we had discussed earlier about the project; that way I knew what she wanted or if there would be any changes. She took offense to this, feeling like I was violating our agreement. Though Blud did try to give me space with regards to the actual art, and while she would offer criticisms here and there, I trusted her opinion as an artist and as a friend. But apparently that didn't go both ways. In fact, Blud seemed to be offended that I expected more from her.

Blud agreed to concede. She suddenly seemed fine with the changes that I had asked for after seeing the layouts. I guess she was feeling overstimulated by the change and I might have been applying too much of a critical tone to her responses to begin with. I have had to deal with rejection sensitivity throughout my life and it's certainly prompted me to approach what people say to me online with a bit of scrutiny (sometimes too much).

And while I was mildly annoyed, although admittedly I was more concerned with Blud's overall reaction to my asking for clarification about several things in the layouts, I let it go. But it seemed like there was a problem. The majority of my ideas were either rejected or outright overridden with Blud convincing me that my faulty memory had made me unable to remember what we had agreed upon. Or that I might have been misremembering in my own favor.

There was one time where we were discussing a monster's design. Blud had already decided to settle on one design that she had come up with, even as I continued to offer other suggestions. The story was to take place in my setting, so I was under the impression that I got to decide what kind of creatures should populate it. The conversation ended somewhat ambiguously. I had assumed that we'd come to a solid conclusion later.

I came back the next day and it turned out that we were using her design because that was what we had decided on. "Don't you remember? You really need to do something about that faulty memory of yours, Tek. I can't be doing this for you all the time."

At which point, Blud would go back and meticulously scour the conversation until she managed to find a set of lines that would make it seem as though I had 100% agreed. Even when I tried to explain that I had meant something else, she took it as an affront on her inability to understand nuances due to her autism.

I admit that my memory isn't that greatest at times, but I've never had anyone complain about it before. And none of my friends have ever minded providing reminders to me if I did misremember something incorrectly. We all forget stuff at times, right? It's *still* something that I'm self-conscious about because (like a lot of people with ADHD) my memory seems selective at times. This was, apparently, a problem that I needed to manage.

And even as I'm remembering these incidents to the best of my ability, I've already spent so much time recounting all of this to friends. I feel confident in my recollection. There are some details that may overlap or become entwined with other things, but it all basically tells the same story. Especially in conjunction with what's been said by others. You're free to take it as hearsay since I do not have screenshots to back this up.

I will mention (since I've been told it's something that Blud has taken particular interest in) that at one point, I did have a crush on her. I was having some problems IRL, and it was nice to have someone whom I felt actually understood me. I also felt like I saw a lot of myself in her. I think that, at one point, I did describe her as the kind of "girlfriend" I would want. Blud seemed to indicate the feeling was mutual.

Between our collaborative partnership and all of the details we shared about our lives, it did feel like an intimate relationship at times. I had no intentions of pursuing it. We were not compatible in our romantic and sexual identities, and I had no intention of leaving my current partner for her.

I had begun to notice red flags, even if I wasn't ready to accept them yet.

I've had experience with abusive relationships in the past but they were in person, and not online. I knew what to look out for and yet I was being willfully ignorant about our friendship. I wanted to give Blud the benefit of the doubt. I wanted the project to work *so* badly that I was willing to work with her increasing demands as the months went by.

I had no idea that those demands would change into, quite literal, temper tantrums. It would then trigger my fawning response which was due to an abusive family situation that I had dealt with before I moved to Canada. The tactic was this: concede to someone until there was a time that they either understood reason or I had the chance to use it against them if necessary.

I started to take screenshots. I wish that I had taken a lot more of them so that everyone could get a better idea of what was happening. I did go back and manage to record the majority of the first outburst. It was the first inkling I had that Blud wasn't playing with a full deck of cards. I knew that that would be one of the first conversations that she would promptly delete. And consequently, I was right.

This assortment of screenshots will exhibit the first serious confrontation that Blud had with me. I am absolutely *not* proud of how I handled this. I was literally panicking at the time and doing whatever I could to get her to calm down. Because I have a temper that can look similar to this in person, I knew that I had to wait until the post-tantrum clarity would hit Blud. I tried my best to not lose my own temper in turn but looking back, I feel that I came off as sounding too timid.

I didn't want to ruin this project.

I wanted to make a comic with an individual that I admired and respected as a fellow artist. And, with me not knowing how to respond, my main priority was to not make things any worse than they already were.

Below is the conversation in its entirety:

I had taken this screenshot on my phone after I had stepped away to compose myself. Blud had handled the confrontation and criticism with a reasonable amount of apprehension. But what had not occurred to me was that I could have said something that would remind her of past experiences with a roleplaying group.

It was something that had evidently scarred Blud for life.

I took away the wrong things from what she had told me, choosing to focus on the aspects of the "betrayal" that had appeared to bother her the most. And in hindsight, I did not see the correlation. I was genuinely apologetic that I had hurt her feelings.

But I *will* critique Blud for her poor handling of the situation. Whether or not I had hurt her feelings, no one is entitled to act like this or claim that this is what attempting to resolve a problem should look like.

I wasn't sure on how to initially respond to Blud. It had been ages since I'd had to deal with someone flying off the handle like that.

The following screenshots are where the conversation picked up, after she had already deleted the above message:

We had weathered the "storm" and after Blud calmed down, she was ready to communicate. There was a part of me that was genuinely sincere when I apologized to her. I did mean it when I said that I had no intentions of hurting her and that I hadn't considered how my statement would sound to her.

I had hoped that this had been a stress response due to factors outside of our collaboration. And especially when I took into account how she had interacted with me in the past. I knew that Blud had a lot going on IRL, and that she had already put a considerable amount of energy into this project.

I had taken her meltdown more personally than she could perceive that I would, because this was something that was acceptable to her. She had a "condition" that would absolve her of these abhorrent meltdowns and I needed to get used to them if we were going to continue working on that project together.

I was shaking the entire time we were typing in the chat.

I was sincere in my responses. I really did want to work things out with Blud and give her the benefit of the doubt. I could have been taking the things that she said too personally or maybe I had been reading too much into the situation. Was there a chance that I could have been misreading her outburst? I tried my best to keep an open mind though I was still somewhat baffled by the fact that she would have meltdowns as often as she did.

I confided in my husband and some other friends about the situation. They were also bewildered by Blud's actions.

By this point, I was struggling with the reality that this collaboration was most likely *not* going to work out but I still wanted to try. I still cared about Blud. We would still hang out together and talk about things like music, our characters, or our stories.

While I did have the foresight to go back and screenshot this section, I wasn't fast enough to get screenshots of everything else that I will be going over. Blud *did* admit to going back and deleting certain exchanges due to a mixture of shame; not wanting to look at them when she would scroll through our conversations.

In retrospect, it was very telling.

And even after that meltdown, I still enjoyed the friendship that I had with her. I kept my guard up but I was willing to make compromises on her behalf if it resulted in better communication between the two of us. Blud made me promise to immediately tell her if I had a problem with something. I also agreed to keep notes of our conversations.

It worked for the most part.

In the end though, it became apparent that Blud wasn't willing to do the same for me (even after we had an extended conversation about it). I then realized that I had been tasked with basically *managing* her autism for her. I was already busy with my supposedly "bad memory" at the time; and Blud was more than ready to scroll back up through our conversations to cherry-pick a line or two of text to remind me of what was said earlier.

Because, for her, circumstances couldn't ever change. If they did, it would mean that Blud had lost control of the situation and that she was in the wrong. She could *not* be in the wrong.

And if she was in the wrong? It would take solid evidence, three witnesses, and a court of law to prove it.

She had two other major meltdowns after this. I managed to step away from communicating with her through one of them and I don't remember the other meltdown lasting very long. She immediately deleted the texts of both of those instances before I could take screenshots of them.

It seemed like I could do nothing right when it came to Blud, no matter the lengths I would go to accommodate her. I knew that it was a common tactic used by abusers. I finally accepted that our partnership wasn't going to work out and I began thinking about an exit strategy. The final straw was when she began to expect me to be at her beck and call.

I had promised that I would be there for her, within reason, and I was willing to offer reassurances whenever she would ask me for them. The promise had been made back when we had first started to talk to one another with more frequency, before Blud had shown me her true colors. I would end up completely underestimating just how badly she would need reassurance.

To be frank, I underestimated a lot about Blud in the beginning.

I would end up mentioning that I enjoyed my space in several different conversations with her. That there was a chance that I might be offline for several days so I could take care of things IRL and recharge my social batteries. I'm somewhat of a recluse. And an adult who enjoys things that aren't online.

She said that it was fine.

I became incredibly anxious when I would talk to Blud, especially after her somewhat abrupt change in personality.

I then attempted to put my foot down about boundaries and this is what she had to say:

I decided to walk away for a bit and I came back after I had had some time to think things over. This wasn't healthy for either of us. I wrote a couple of sentences to say goodbye to Blud before I blocked her. I knew that my actions would probably infuriate her. She had told me in the past that she *hated* not being able to have the final word... which she was able to do through email:

“And I'm not letting you pretend you have control over the situation, or the high ground. You distinctly have neither. But since you're determined to stick to your 'principles' on this, I've decided to make it easier for you.”

She thought that she was absolved of all sins just because I had said that I would stand by her at her worst. And at the time that I said that, I had no idea that her worst would be her trying everything possible to protect her boundaries while stomping all over mine. It didn't matter what she said or how often she would apologize when I would confront her. She kept doing it.

I admit that I wasn't perfect in this situation either.

There were times when I was condescending, critical, or downright mean when I talked to Blud because that was the way I had felt when she was talking to me. I soon realized that it didn't matter either way. I could have been using the friendliest tone imaginable and she still would have perceived it as either mocking or dismissive on my end. There were even a few times where I would preface my explanations with an advisory “please know that I am not attacking you and try to read this in an understanding tone,”etc. I would then post an explanation I had spent hours picking at to ensure that there was no way she could misinterpret the intent. Even so, she still read the majority of what I said as criticism and would take it to heart.

I never expected Blud to do something that made her uncomfortable; nor did I expect her to overextend herself when it came to our project. I would go out of my way to make sure everything was fine when we would talk about it. I only expected mutual respect in return.

When we would get into discussions (arguments), she would never attempt to understand my point of view or let me explain myself. It would have made it about me when it should have been about Blud and her needs. She sometimes would agree to come to a compromise about something, but only if I would admit that I was in the wrong.

I know that if Blud was to look at these screenshots, she'd be incredulous that I'm trying to distract from the horrible things that *I* did. And those horrible things that I did? I tried my best to work with her.

It wasn't just her poor teamwork that bothered me. It was her attitude and the lack of respect that she showed me. She would never ask me to clarify something that I said; always assuming that it was a criticism against her. I can only speculate that Blud did not want to hear about how any of this was her fault, like in the email she sent me.

I don't know if I was actually her friend at any point. Friends make efforts to understand one another. Ideally, they’d want their friendships to continue, and they would want everyone to be getting along and having fun. She seemed to actively defy that.

I would argue that things like this don't just happen in a vacuum. There's almost always a reason for such things, but it's honestly a mystery to me as to where this vitriol comes from. I don't know why Blud sees monsters in every word, especially if they come from a "friend".

I've seen her viscously mock herself during meltdowns; it seems like she hates herself and expects everyone else to hate her too. I think that she wants it to be the truth, so that it validates the feelings she has about herself. The behavior patterns that I'd been exposed to are consistent with the idea that Blud is seeking confirmation about the personal assumptions she has about herself. It's what makes her so volatile to those around her. Yet, she refuses to break the cycle.

I hope that she can make that choice in the future but at this point, I'm not holding my breath.

#dogblud #it feels a bit dirty doing a call out post #but people need to know #she's gotten away with this for far too long #i generally tend to give people the benefit of a doubt #clearly too much #but you can only make up so many excuses before you begin to realize that #at the end of the day #people still have the ability to make a choice #“everyone always leaves me”#well maybe you should really consider what the common variable is #just sayin

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bara-izu · 9 months ago

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Do you have any advice on how to get over lack of skill? I want to do the Astarion Lestate trend but I don't think my skills are ready for it. I have references pictures of Astarion pulled up when I'm working, and even have the game launched so I can turn him if I need to (mostly for the attempts I did at his hair) but everytime I tweaked something or started over nothing looked right. I keep getting frustrated 😭

Hi anon- Sorry this took me a while to get to, i hope you and others can still find this useful! While the basic advise to get over 'lack of skill' is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! i hope this will help you knowig where to get started with that!

I'm going to put my teacher pants back on, this might be a bit long so buckle up- I'll go over a few areas:

Primitive Shapes

How to Use References

Delete your work (hear me out)

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Primitive Shapes:

This is your foundation. Everything starts with this, and while you may find it boring to think of your art in terms of cubes and spheres- i kid you not it will help elevate your work.

If/when you are stuggling to draw a complicated pose, or a specific perspective, refering back to the form in these basic shapes can really help to simplify your process and help you problem solve.

A chill/silly watch for a more in depth discussion on what i mean / how this can help - Give Pikat's 'Draw boxes (correctly) to improve your art' a watch. They also mention this in the video but @/Uncomfortable on youtube also has some great fundermental videos.

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How to use references.

Okay so references are great 10/10 very useful. But, unless you know WHAT to study from a reference, they can sometimes fall flat of their usefullness.

Anatomy studies are something a lot of us will be recommended as artists, but actually knowing what to pay attention to can boost your confidence in your work. Start with a goal, what do you want to get out of this sketch session? Do you want to get better at understanding the 3D form of a specific part of anatomy? Better at poses? Try to narrow down your learning each session to make it less overwhelming.

In this i'll focus on understanding the form so, lets start with a reference. Linking back to Primitives again, start off by braking down your anatomy into forms. Sketching over the top of your references is totally fine. But make sure you are doing so critically, otherwise it may look like a flat/unnatural trace and you're not really learning from it. Via the first sketch you can see where the primitive shapes fall on the body - think of it like a ball-jointed-doll, hips, knees, shoulders ect are ball socketed whereas arms, legs ect can be made up of tubes. (See the first image, when sketching your tubes, sketch your contour lines too- this can help determind how clothing / hair will fall over the body, and can help you understand the 3D Form.)

A BIG IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE - When using photo references, do be very aware that they may be distorted due to the height of the camera, or camera focal length - (you can see in my sketch i had to edit the torso and head because the reference was a little top heavy)

A few artists/books for some extra reading / reference : - Andrew Loomis (OG for body proportions, books are a little outdated but fundermentals are still useful), - Tenten云画画 (his stylised anatomy breakdowns are very interesting to me) - Anatomy Essentials (I've had this book for years, it covers lots of areas, is a bit complex though, i myself should reread it again 😅

Also, if you can't find a reference for a specific pose, don't be afraid to use 3D programs! Anatomy 360, DesignDoll, Clip Studio, Magic Poser - all nifty options~

SO taking when we've learnt from the primitive forms, you can now try applying that to the Lestrat Picture. (which, granted is a complicated pose, as it also has forshortening and an odd top down perspetive of the bottom character- so don't panic if you don't get it the first time!)

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Final points- Delete your art (hear me out)

What i mean by this is, sometimes reworking the same face over and over again can bog your down. It can make it very difficult to actually see whats wrong. So, get rid of it and start again. (hide the layer/use a different piece of paper, please don't actually bin it (yet))

Next, redraw it. Use what you've learned the first time, and redraw it from scratch. (in this case, that might be just specifically the head, or the hair, or the eyes ect - you don't have to bin the whole thing, but sometimes it can really help give you a new perspective)

Once you've done this, unhide your original, compare, this may help you understand what you were doing wrong the first time. Or if there are areas of one that you like- its an opportunity to combine them as you see fit! :)

On a side note for Astarion's Hair, the lovely @mistercrowbar actually posted a breakdown yesterday! (i use p much the same method so-)

I HOPE this was of some use- do feel free to ask any questions if you've got them! i'll try to answer in a more timely manner next time 😅

#art tutorial #or more like #art tips #long post

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stratossphere · 1 year ago

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i am BEGGING for ville x tattoo artist reader . porn w plot or sm like he fucks reader after a few sessions and reader thinks he hates her but he’s frustrated or whatever IDKKKKKK

ink | v.v

the problem client has a thing for his artist.

warnings: smut, fem!reader, fingering, protected sex, reader has a hand over her mouth, just people being straight up horny

word count: 7.4k

a/n: this took me such a long time but i’m proud of it :) also once again i appreciate all of your genius ideas

tags: @asskickedbygirl @lieutenant-cinnamon-roll @kissofdawn666 @brandons-wife @valos-venus-doom @ghoulishguns @4377666 @althaiascure

— —

Fuck. He was coming again.

You were always happy to take on new clients. You really were. But ever since Ville Valo's usual artist had moved and holed himself away what seemed to be for good, you'd been stuck with his bitchiest client.

Ville was...interesting. Not horrible, per se, like some of your clients definitely were, but he was certainly one of the nitpickers. It had been a while since you'd last seen him, and the last time he'd been in was to get some chick's name tattooed on his chest (or at least you'd assumed, considering he'd refused to tell you what 'Mäy' was), but even then he'd complained and spent the whole time watching you work meticulously.

And yet, despite the nitpicking, here he was back for more.

You would've been lying if you said you might've been a little nervous not because he was picky, but because he was really fucking hot. Obviously, bitchy attitude or not, you couldn't deny that he was attractive, and the ones with an attitude were definitely your type. But you'd literally been tattooing a name on him, so you'd held back on any of those thoughts.

But holding back on those thoughts became a lot harder when you saw him walk into the shop from where you were cleaning up your studio from your last tattoo. His hair had grown considerably, he looked a lot healthier than the last time you'd seen him, and he still had that unimpressed frown on his face as he talked to your receptionist. You leaned back in your stool so that he could see you from where he was standing, raising an eyebrow as he glanced over and noticed you were there.

"Wow. I almost forgot you existed." You said truthfully, smiling as he came around to step into your studio. Considering his original tattoo artist had worked with you, you had seen him a lot back in the day when he had been filling up quickly on tattoos after he'd started with his wrist. Albeit, you'd never actually talked to him before his first tattoo with you, but you'd known him and he'd known you regardless.

"Yes. Hello to you too." He said dryly, waving a piece of paper in his hand as he shut the door of your studio behind him after stepping fully into the room. "I'm getting a coverup."

"Which one?" You were warily eyeing both the half-sleeve of portraits he had on one arm and the full sleeve he had on the other, because covering up either of those sounded extremely unappealing considering how dark the ink work was on both. He chuckled lowly as you pushed back in your stool to let him sit down in the chair.

"The last one you gave me." He admitted, handing over the piece of paper in his hand when you offered your hand out for it. It was a picture of a woman, and you were satisfied at getting the chance to do another portrait. He seemed to have an addiction to them, considering that every time you saw him, he always came back with more.

"Shit. Was my handwriting bad?" You joked, consciously aware of how long this tattoo was going to take, and additionally how long that meant you'd be around him shirtless. You were really trying to harness maturity here, but you couldn't be held responsible for what occurred inside your own brain. Although, with eyes as intense as his, you weren't sure he couldn't see right inside with you.

"No, it was acceptable. Things just change, and I'm a new man these days." Ville said calmly as he watched you get started on his stencil, his fingers drumming in a concise rhythm on the arm of the chair as he spoke. You shot him a knowing look.

"So I was right. It was a girlfriend's name." You'd been trying to guess the last time he'd been in the shop, but he hadn't even given you a hint. He'd originally said that it was not his girlfriend's name, but now it was pretty obvious that there was no way he had been telling the truth. He paused for a second, sighing softly.

"Not exactly." Once again, very vague. You rolled your eyes because you knew he couldn't see, laughing softly to yourself.

"One time, I tattooed a guy's name as a tramp stamp on a client, and then the next day her boyfriend came in screaming in my face because I tattooed his brother's name on his girlfriend." You revealed conversationally, knowing that if you didn't say something, Ville would be perfectly fine with letting the room fall into dead silence for the entire predicted four hours he'd be in your chair. He had been the client infamous for bringing handfuls of CDs to every single one of his appointments and blasting them loud enough to fill every single studio on the shop before he'd been dumped on you, but you had a feeling he refused to do so with you because he thought you wouldn't like the same music. Which meant you were stuck with his hatred for conversation.

"That feels pointed." Ville muttered, tilting his head to shoot you a look just as you glanced over at him. You snorted, busying yourself fully with the stencil so that you could avoid that intense gaze.

"It might've been. I don't know. I like to get at least a little bit of interesting information out of my clients once in a while." You said coyly, hearing the sound of his fingers picking up pace where they were still drumming on the arm of his chair. He paused for another moment, and when you glanced up to see if he was ignoring you, you were once again met with his startlingly-green eyes. He sucked his teeth.

"You're not going to like the story. No women do." He said very presumptuously, looking away from you with disinterest and instead leaning back in the chair slightly to look up at the ceiling. Once again, because he wasn't looking at you, you rolled your eyes.

"I've tattooed ballsacks, assholes, and dicks. I'm sure your story won't get me too bad." You said dryly, finishing up the stencil before you slid away from your desk and over to his chair to present it to him. "Look okay?"

"Yeah. Looks great." As he said it, Ville looked like he was trying to decide whether or not to actually tell you the story he was dancing around, and you were really trying to remain professional and not laugh as you watched him do so.

"Alright. Take off your shirt, and you can tell me the horrific story while I put this on." You instructed, remembering that the 'not' name was tattooed on the right side of his chest. He stood up to shrug off his jacket then, and you noticed he was looking at you curiously.

"You've really tattooed a dick?" He didn't sound like he believed you. You nodded, focusing your mind fully on the conversation at hand so that it didn't wander too far on the sight of him starting to pull his shirt over his head. When his head was blocked by the shirt and he couldn't see you, however, you let your eyes linger on the symbol tattooed on his lower stomach momentarily.

"Yep. And it was a cross, too." You muttered, shaking your head as you remembered how that appointment had gone. Every time you started to feel down about how difficult Ville sometimes made his appointments with you, you remembered those times and immediately started to feel a lot better. That pulled a slight chuckle out of him (only slight, mind you) as he tossed his shirt and jacket onto the chair meant for people tagging along against the wall.

"Well, I suppose you won't be too offended, then." He surmised, sitting back down in the chair in front of you with his top half now bare. You were always amazed with how well-sculpted his torso was considering you'd seen him drink enough to kill a medium-sized child in all the times he'd been inside the shop. "It is a name, but not of a person. It's uh...named after my ex-girlfriend's uh...you know. Private area, so to speak."

Okay. That did take you aback a little bit. You certainly didn't let it show, however, and only raised your eyebrows as you gingerly began to lay out the stencil over his chest and over the last tattoo you had done for him.

"Huh. Never would've guessed that one." You shot him an amused look, but he only looked surprised that you'd taken it so well. You silently wondered what kind of conservative nuns he'd been telling that story to. "Why 'Mäy', then?"

"Now I'm just going to sound stupid." He mused, lifting his arm above his head so that you could get a better angle on applying the stencil. God, he smelled good...

"Once again, a cross on a dick. You can't get much stupider." You repeated with reassurance, peeling the stencil and then inspecting the placement with satisfaction. You then pointed to the mirror across from the chair. "You can go check and make sure you like where it is."

"You know the American show SpongeBob, yes?" He asked absentmindedly as he got up to look at himself in the mirror, narrowing his eyes as he looked over his reflection. You were praying that he liked the placement, because you really felt as if it was in the best place for the shape of his chest.

"Yeah. My nephew watches that show all the time." You said, completely unsure of where he was going with this story as you waited for the verdict on whether or not he liked the stencil placement. "Look okay?"

"Do you think it does? I want the darkest part over the name." That surprised you. He was asking you instead of forcing you to bend to his bottomless pit of adjustments and requests. You motioned for him to come back, then narrowed your eyes at the stencil to make sure that the part where you would be putting the darkest parts of ink was covering the name. It was.

"Yeah. That'll cover it up completely." You nodded, moving out of the way to let him get back into the chair for the last time before you actually began to put the needle to his skin. "SpongeBob?"

"Oh, yeah. It's uh...well, you know, it's a kid's show, but it's damn funny. And there's a snail on that show that meows." Ville explained, motioning his hands animatedly as you set up your gun and the ink you would be using while you reclined the chair back so that he was laying down at the best angle for you to tattoo him.

"I vaguely remember that, yeah." Now you had even less of an idea where he was going with this story. His explanation still didn’t feel like a viable reason to allow him to call someone’s intimate areas the name of a snail.

"Well, when he meows, it sounds just like 'Mäy' in Finnish. Which doesn't really mean anything, so I kind of just made it into a nickname." He must've been able to see the bewildered look on your face, because he really sounded like he was trying to prove a solid reason for getting such a strange thing tattooed on himself. "That, or Gary, which is the snail's name."

"You called her pussy Gary?" You couldn't help yourself from blurting that out bluntly out of genuine shock, and you immediately winced. "Sorry. That was a bad way of saying that."

"No, no. That's about the best reaction I've gotten, actually." He muttered, shaking his head as he clearly thought about it. "It was a dumb thing to do, and I told every single person that asked me, so it's my own fault."

"Well, I'm glad I was apart of your terrible decision. And I'm glad you got Mäy tattooed instead of Gary." You snickered, letting your hand rest on his chest with your tattoo gun now buzzing in your hand. "You ready?"

"Stick it in."

For once, Ville actually seemed to be in the mood to talk, but for most of the appointment, it was vague answers and a mostly-uninterested tone. In all honesty, you were kind of bored with the man everyone claimed to be one of the most interesting on the planet.

So, when the tattoo was done, you were a little relieved. Sure, you were a fan of the fact that Ville was your best tipper out of all of your clients, and he at least had some interesting stories to tell, but something about him just made you a little uneasy. And it didn't help that you'd just sat through five hours of him being shirtless under your hand.

"Okay. Look in the mirror and give me your collective score." You said as you turned your gun off, letting him get up and out of the chair and then trying not to stare too hard at the muscles of his back as he stretched out.

"That felt really fucking quick." Ville commented as he stepped over to inspect himself in the mirror, tone sounding pleased with the fact. You stared at him for different reasons then, because that had felt like the longest tattoo session of your life, but didn't say anything on the matter. At least he was having fun. "Looks great. Maya Deren wouldn't be too appalled."

"Why thank you. Sure you don't want anything else added?" You asked as you peeled your gloves off, feeling more than relieved that he didn't seem to have any qualms with your work. You had no idea how he'd found problems with a three letter words, but not a portrait of someone's entire face.

"No, that'll be it."

—

And that was the last you saw of him. You expected he'd turn up in a couple years' time when he eventually found something else (or maybe got another name or face tattooed and needed that covered up as well) to get done, but you certainly didn't expect to see him when you walked into work hungover and tired only three days later.

"Jesus Christ." You nearly jumped out of your skin when you walked into your studio to see him already sitting there. He was handsome, you couldn't deny, but he was certainly scary when you weren't expecting him. "Didn't I just see you?"

"I came in for touch-ups." He explained, stretching out in the chair as if he couldn't have possibly belonged anywhere else. You narrowed your eyes.

"You need touch-ups? After three days?" This fucker. Seriously. He must've hated you. Or he just lived to torture every tattoo artist in your shop in general. Either one worked. "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think you're my most difficult client."

"I'm not going to be back for a long time, and I figured I should make up for my last appointment." He scoffed, crossing his legs and looking over at you where you were still standing by the door of your own studio. You checked back in mentally, closing the door and setting your bag down on the floor before running your hands over your face.

"Alright, I guess. I appreciate the makeup." You mused as you walked over to where none of your stuff was set up, silently cursing him for arriving so early on the one day you'd come in late due to how shitty you'd felt when you had awoken that morning.

"What kind of hangover is it?" As you set up, his question surprised you, and you looked back to see him almost smiling. You didn't think you'd ever truly seen the sight in all of the appearances he had made in your shop over the years.

"What?" Was it really that easy to tell? Sure, you'd been forced to rush considering the fact that your still-kind-of-drunk brain had convinced you that the sound of your alarm was still apart of your dream, but you'd showered, at least.

As a matter of fact, he looked a bit cleaner than usual today, too.

"You're clearly hungover. What's it off of?" He repeated, and you could've sworn you saw him eyeing you over as he spoke. You deadpanned, because usually someone who looked hungover looked like shit, before sighing.

"Vodka shots." You admitted, pausing where you'd been in the middle of setting up to narrow your eyes at him. "Do I really look that bad?"

"Quite the opposite, actually." Those words took you by surprise, and you let your lips part slightly as he now visibly checked you out. What the fuck. You were really trying to ignore the way your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest as he shrugged. "I won't make you tattoo on a vodka hangover. I don't actually need the touch-ups."

You just stared at him, trying to comprehend both of the things that he had just said to you and failing to do so for both. "So...why are you here then?"

"Who knows why anyone is anywhere. I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that you're one of the only people I know that's bearable to be around in this godforsaken country." He spoke so casually, as if every one of his words wasn't shocking you more and more as they came out of his mouth one by one. Once again, you stared at him for a second before responding.

"Huh. I really thought you didn't like me." Multiple sessions filled to the unbearable brim with dry responses, irritated adjustments, and an overall air of disinterest had convinced you on the fact, but here he was in your studio requesting touch-ups he didn't even need with money he didn't even have to spend.

"Everyone thinks that. I've been told I'm a bit of a raging cunt." He snorted, waving you off when you went to resume your setting up in an attempt to bring your brain back into function. "Don't bother. The tattoo is fucking perfect."

"Well, I feel bad now. You already paid a deposit on the session." You insisted, unable to bite back a grin at his compliment of your handiwork. You weren't sure you wanted him to leave quite yet, despite the fact that you'd been more than eager to get him out of the shop the last time you'd seen him. He just seemed...different today. More at ease.

"Oh well." He said simply, shifting so that he could slip his hand into his pocket before he came up with a pack of Marlboro Lights and a shitty-looking red lighter. "Will smoke detectors go off in here?"

"No, they're broken." You waved him on to give him the go ahead to smoke, coming back over to where your working stool was before sitting down so that you were near his chair. "You're really going to pay to be in here for no ink?"

"I don't mind. It'll give you time to get over your hangover before you stick a needle into the next poor bastard who comes in here." He said with finality, that half-grin now permanently on his face as he spoke. He then absentmindedly offered his cigarette out to you, and when you looked at him in surprise, he held it out further. "It helps. Even if you don't smoke."

"I think it's against the rules to share spit with my tattoo clients." You teased as you took a long drag off of his cigarette. You did in fact smoke (albeit not his brand), and the soft burn in your lungs made you feel a little less jittery. His look changed at that, and you immediately realized how that sounded, but he didn't actually seem to mind. In fact, by the way his eyes dropped to your lips for just a split second before he was looking back to you, he didn't mind at all.

"Yeah? So you're against sharing spit in all forms?" This whole interaction was leading into a place where you really should not have let it be going, as Ville was in fact your client and you were in fact at work, but you couldn't help yourself. You weren't dumb enough to ignore that you had one of the hottest men you had ever seen in your studio currently flirting his ass off with you.

And, on top of that, it was obvious that Ville had a goal in mind. You could tell by the way he was obviously freshly-showered and in a much lighter mood, and you could definitely tell by the way he was currently wasting time away without a tattoo needle in him despite paying the deposit for an entire session. You shrugged, grinning slyly.

"Mm. Maybe not. Depends on which client I'd be sharing spit with." You said, acting as if you couldn't have possibly caught on to what he was trying to say. He nodded, watching you more than closely as you leaned over to grab an empty ink cap to ash the cigarette still between your fingers into.

"You know, I know a great hangover cure that works better than anything else." Ville said casually before he was turning in his chair so that he was facing you to the point where you were almost knee-to-knee. He still smelled just as good as he had last time you'd seen him, and you wondered if your head was spinning more because of your hangover or the man in front of you. You passed his cigarette back.

"Yeah? What's that?" You had a pretty good idea, but you liked this little game that he was playing. He did have a very appealing voice, after all. He took a long drag off of the returned cigarette, holding your gaze intensely the entire time before he spoke again.

"Fucking." The way he drew out the word almost made you lose it. Almost. He never stopped staring at you, studying your features as he gave his certified suggestion, and you spluttered in turn as you swallowed that information.

"Really? In a tattoo studio?" You managed to mumble out, your eyes dropping to where his free hand moved to rest over your knee. Your body had never reacted so viscerally to such a small touch, but that's exactly what it was doing now, and you felt your heartbeat in your throat. Among other places.

"I've done worse." When you looked back up at him, he was already smirking at you, and he looked nothing but sure of himself. He reached out to crush his cigarette out in the ink cap that was sitting on your table next to his chair, but he never moved back where his face had come right up in front of yours, and then he was kissing you.

Smoke drew out of his nose in thin tendrils as he kissed you softly, one hand coming up to cup your cheek while the other hooked under your stool and pulled it closer to him. You knew that this was extremely unprofessional, and that your boss would've kicked your ass if she would've seen what you were currently doing on paid time, but all you did was deepen the kiss as your knees brushed heavily against his.

"Are you sure?" This still didn't feel completely real, and you found yourself pulling back from the kiss as you looked at him with slight concern in your eyes. You were trying to let his plaguing indifference get to you, but it wasn't exactly easy. He didn't respond, just held your gaze tensely with arousal burning deep in his irises before he was hooking his fingers in your front belt loops and pulling you further forwards.

As your lips connected once again, you were quickly crawling into his lap, hands cupping either side of his face while his arms wrapped strongly around your hips to keep you against him as the both of you kissed hungrily. This was definitely not at all what your studio was meant for, and you didn't even know if your chair could healthily take the weight of two full grown adults, but you were too intoxicated by the taste of his tongue to care.

"Does the door lock?" Ville asked against your lips breathlessly after a moment, one hand holding himself in the chair and the other pushing underneath your shirt as you rocked your hips just slightly in his lap. His voice stuttered at that point, and his hand dropped from under your shirt to hold you in place tightly by your hip. You shook your head.

"No. The walls are thin, too." Although you normally would've been put off by those factors (in fact, you never would've caught yourself dead having sex anywhere near where you worked on a normal day), you could barely get them off your chest quick enough before you were kissing Ville again, starting to roll your hips again despite his grip.

"Can you be quiet, or am I going to have to put a hand over your mouth?" After a second, Ville broke away to speak those bold words into the open air, stealing the breath right from your lungs as he did so. When you didn't respond, mostly because you didn't trust yourself to form coherent thoughts in that moment, he nipped at your lip. "Turn around."

"But—" You were already in his lap, and you hadn't even removed any items of clothing yet, so you had no idea what he was planning. You had already fallen too deep into a haze of arousal to really care about anything other than him fucking you, so you felt panic creeping up the back of your neck at the thought of having to pull away from him. He shushed you softly, interrupting your protest.

"It'll be okay, love. We have time." Ville cooed, his head tipping forward so that he could press soft, warm kisses to your neck as he coaxed you into complying with his request. However, lucky for him, you were quickly becoming entranced by a man who you had started off your day thinking you hated, and you were moving to turn in his arms with just the touch of his lips on your sensitive skin. If any of your coworkers (who knew Ville very well, and not in a good way, considering the reputation his loud music and excessive drinking had brought him with his last artist) could see you now, you never would've heard the end of it.

Ville's hands stayed on you to guide you along with your own movements until you were laying with your back flush against his chest and your legs between his, his chin tucked over your shoulder the entire time. You felt your heart rate picking up when his hands began to explore; his fingertips on one hand dipping under your shirt hem while the other hand moved to rub over your thigh.

"You are so beautiful." His voice was like a song in your ear as his hands crept higher and higher, and you could only try to gasp air into your lungs as his fingers moved to find the button of your pants. The sound of your zipper slowly pulling open after he'd undone your button was enough to make your head spin violently. "I have to admit something."

"Yeah?" You were able to breathe out as your hand ghosted over his where he was just beginning to push it past your currently-open zipper, your thighs beginning to press together as he got closer and closer to where you really needed him.

"Every time you tattoo me, all I can do is picture what you'll look like when I fuck you." His voice barely made it past your ear as he suddenly drew both hands away from you, making the impatience sear in your chest before it was quickly soothed when he began to push your pants down your hips on either side of you. "God, I've wanted you for so long."

Well shit. If you had known that, this would've happened a lot sooner than today after knowing each other for around a decade.

"Ville. Please." You couldn't take his filthy mouth paired with the lack of his touch, and your plead was bursting from your lips before you'd even fully kicked off your pants once he'd pushed them down far enough. You were now almost bare in his arms, and you felt like you were going insane.

"Shh." Just as he shushed your impatience, Ville's fingertips touched to your clit for the first time, and your back arched involuntarily as your breathing audibly picked up at the feeling. Even with the first slow circle that his fingertips rubbed on your clit you were moaning, and Ville's free hand clapped over your mouth just in time to hide the sound. "Does that feel good, darling?"

You couldn't respond, but you knew he could tell by the subtle way your back was arching towards his touch as his fingers began to circle faster on your clit. His fingers were skilled, and in that moment you understood exactly why someone had not only let him call their pussy the name of an animated snail, but had also condoned him getting the sound said animated snail makes tattooed on himself.

You moaned hard against his hand when he slowly dipped two fingers into you, the new sensation making your entire body shudder as he continued to shush you softly in your ear. You were slightly worried about the idea of someone coming into your studio to check on you, but he seemed as if he couldn't have had less of a care in the world. In fact, it almost seemed as if he was leaving his hand a little loose over your mouth on purpose just so that he would be able to hear your moans.

"Slow down. Let me have fun." He purred in your ear at your squirmy movements and badly-controlled voice, his legs trapping you between themselves slightly to prevent you from moving any further. You mentally blanched through the fog in your brain at the implication that he was going to enjoy you allowing him to take his time fucking his fingers into you more than you would in any way, unable to respond to his request but instead trying your best to settle your overreactive nerves.

However, every attempt at calming yourself was immediately washed away by the intense waves of pleasure coursing through your body as Ville pumped his fingers deep and slow inside of you. You were completely at the mercy of his skilled touch; and he knew it too. You could tell he was enjoying his own little game with every shift of his fingers on your lips that allowed for the sharp sound of your voice to escape into the painfully-quiet room for a split second before he was quickly rendering you silent once again.

Ville may have been able to keep up this game for what you feared was an admirably long time, but you were starting to feel as if you were going insane, and you couldn't wait anymore. Your shaky fingers found Ville's hand against your mouth before you were peeling his own digits away from your lips, a whimper escaping once you were free to speak.

"I need you. In me. Please." You pleaded, your words stumbling out of your mouth unevenly as he continued to curl his fingers into you throughout your entire sentence. Never in your life could you have ever guessed that you'd ever find yourself begging a client to fuck you right there in your own tattoo chair, but Ville Valo wasn't just any client.

And not any client could use their fingers the way Ville Valo currently was.

"Can you handle it?" God, he was cocky. Sure, it had you a lot more weak in the knees than you were willing to admit, but that was nobody's business but your own. And you were sure it wasn't like he was going to decline your request even if it was revealed that you couldn't handle getting fucked in such a quiet environment. You, however, nodded quickly.

"Yeah. Promise." You didn't know if your answer was discernible between babbling and hurried, but at this point you really didn't care anymore. You had an end goal just as much as Ville did, and you really wanted it. "Please baby. I want you now."

"Yeah? How bad do you want it?" As he spoke, Ville gently pulled his fingers from inside you just as his hand dropped completely away from your mouth yet continued to let you hold onto it where you'd been holding it away. You gasped in a shaky breath at the feeling, shifting your hips in the confines of his legs on either side of you.

"I was so close, Ville. I'm begging you." You whined pathetically, pressed back far enough into his chest to where you could feel his warm breath against your cheek. He didn't respond, just shushed you softly once again, before suddenly his fingertips were brushing against your lips and he was pressing his long fingers into your mouth.

You savored the sound of his deep hum of arousal behind you as you sucked the taste of yourself off of his digits, swirling your tongue suggestively as you felt him begin to shift in a way that was not at all inconspicuous underneath you. You almost had him where you wanted him, and you could tell that his patience wasn't going to last much longer than yours had.

“Be patient, love. I’ll give you anything you want.” All too quickly, and despite his words, Ville was drawing his fingers out of your mouth. For a split second you felt frustration taking over at his refusal to give you even a hint of what you so desperately wanted, but your emotions were quickly settled when you felt him fumbling behind you.

He was undoing his belt.

You turned back to watch him, lip drawn between your teeth to (poorly) hide your eager grin as you listened to the sound of the metal buckle clinking. Ville clearly noticed you watching, and he was quick to catch you in a kiss as his hands hurriedly peeled his zipper open before he was slipping his jeans down his hips just enough to free his cock.

“Do you have a condom?” Through the haze in your own head, you pulled yourself together enough to mentally slap yourself in the face, because of course you didn’t have a condom. However, you never got the chance, because within seconds Ville had fumbled his wallet out of his jeans and had produced the requested condom.

Even with the tension and aroused urgency in the room, you couldn’t help but take a moment to snicker. “I didn’t realize you had already planned this shit out.”

“Maybe I might’ve been desperately hoping.” Ville hummed in joint amusement, his lips dipping to the crook of your neck as you turned away with the sound of him ripping the condom open. You didn’t miss the way one of his hands rubbed fleetingly across your ass as you repositioned yourself so that you were straddling him while still facing away as he visibly ate you alive with his eyes. “I have a thing for the ones that don’t like me.”

You laughed softly at that as he rolled the condom on. You definitely liked him now if nothing else, and you were about to reassure him that he really wasn’t as insufferable as he sometimes came off as, before you were abruptly thrown off by the feeling of the head of his cock sliding against your clit. He kept his free hand on your hip to assure that you couldn’t gain the upper hand against his merciless teasing, sliding his tip through your pussy a few more times before he was slowly pushing into you.

“Oh my god.” You whimpered out unconsciously, crumbling as if you were boneless against his chest almost immediately as he began to slowly fuck his cock up into you. His breathing had gone ragged the second that he’d pushed into you, and you could feel his chest heaving against your back as your ass pressed flush down into his lap and on his cock.

“Yeah. Fuck, just like that.” Ville encouraged as he ate up your pliance, one of his arms wrapping tight around your hips to hold you still as he fucked you smoothly. His thrusts were full and slow, and you silently wondered how someone could be so precise with such a pleasing torture as you moaned dizzily.

Despite how delicious the filthy mix of skin-on-skin and the shaky sounds falling from your lips in an increasingly-steady stream were, subtlety was close to flying out the window, and Ville was soon placing his free hand back over your mouth as he whispered for you to shut that pretty mouth. There was no space between your bodies now, and you felt as if you were molding backwards into him as his lips dragged hot against the sensitive skin of your neck.

“I know you wanted me. You touch more than anyone that’s ever tattooed me.” He cooed knowingly in your ear, his words only slightly separated by soft groans at the feeling of his cock mind-numbingly deep inside of you. He only continued as your face burned hot at the feeling of being found out for actions you had assumed were unnoticeable. “You needed me to fuck you bad, didn’t you, love?”

You couldn’t respond verbally, but you nodded as best you could as one hand covered his where he was still holding your hips tight against him. You felt as if you couldn’t put your scrambled brain back together enough to do anything else, and the pleasure was becoming too overwhelming for you to be able to just sit there and take it.

As fingers gripped tightly at skin and you moved desperately along with each other, the build of primal urgency between the two of you was climbing fast as you both chased your highs with desperation that could no longer be pushed down. Your head was almost resting back against Ville’s shoulder now, and his face was pressed into your neck to muffle his own loud groans.

“I can’t last. Holy shit, you feel so good.” He breathed out in ecstasy against your skin, his words drawn out and strained as the pace of his hips rolling up into you gradually starting to increase as he reached that near-hysteric level of pleasure.

You wiggled your hips down on his cock as you shifted and fussed in his arms, the pleasure of him fucking right into your sweet spot making you begin to shake and jolt in his arms harder than what you could cope with. Every inch of your skin felt hot and tingly, and your heart was racing in your chest as he grabbed your hand where it was over his as he held you and laced your fingers together.

Yeah, Ville Valo definitely wasn’t just any client.

He still didn’t let up his tight seal on your mouth as he continued to muffle your pleasure-drunk moans into almost nothing, so you had no way to warn him when you finally reached your climax. The added impact of the continued thrusts of his cock heightened your orgasm considerably, and your hips jolted hard and involuntarily as you close-to-hyperventilated through the pleasure that was igniting your every nerve.

Ville let out a long, stuttered groan right against your ear before you could tell he was cumming too, his grip tightening considerably on your hip while his hand dropped clean away from your mouth as he chased his own high. His thrusts were sloppy and desperate, but you still found yourself pressing your knuckles to your lips to replace his hand as you shook and whimpered through the aftershocks of his cock still sliding into you after your orgasm had faded into sharp sensitivity.

When Ville finally slowed to a stop as his still-ragged breathing sounded right alongside yours, his hand rubbed absentmindedly against your hip where he had let your hand go due to the impact of his climax. The room felt a little warmer than it had ten minutes ago, but you didn’t dare pull away from him yet as you tried to bring yourself down out of space and back into your brain.

“Fuck. If only all those fangirls knew what you were really like.” You mused hoarsely, your voice feeling dry in your throat after having Ville’s hand over your mouth for so long. When you regrettably had to force yourself to slowly pull off of his cock and turn out of his lap and onto your feet, you were met with just the smallest curl of his lips at your words.

“I told you I have a thing for the ones that don’t like me.” He reminded you coyly, clearly eyeing you as you focused yourself on retrieving and redressing in the pants you had abandoned on the floor. He was then up soon after you, peeling off his condom and discarding it in a trashcan that was normally only used for tattoo supplies. You snorted, not bothering to draw your eyes away while he tucked himself back into and rezipped his jeans considering he really wasn’t ashamed of his own stare.

“I thought it was obvious, but I wouldn’t have done any of that if I didn’t like you.” Your smart tone wasn’t lost on him, and you had barely pulled your pants and underwear back up over your hips before he was right up in your personal space with his eyes on yours as if he had deemed your pupils his home.

“Yeah? What are you going to do when I come back?” He sounded as if he was mostly curious, but you didn’t miss the way his pitch dropped as he studied you. You quirked your eyebrows as you finished redressing, not pulling back away from him.

“Depends on whether or not you’re getting a tattoo dedicated to someone when I see you next.” You couldn’t help yourself, alright? If he hadn’t been prepared for jokes, he should have never told you in the first place.

Ville rolled his eyes then, pulling back to shake his head as you laughed to yourself. You were paying half a mind to the fact that you were definitely going to have to do a serious wipe-down of your tattoo chair once he left the shop.

“Just…don’t quit on me like the last one did.” Although that was worded as concern over potentially losing a second tattoo artist in a span of a few years, you could see the suggestive look on Ville’s face as he said it, and you couldn’t hide your smile despite trying to cope with the fact that your time with Ville would soon be up for the next foreseeable year (at the very least).

“I’ll be right here where I was next time you come back.” You promised, knowing that even if it wasn’t for a while, you would always look forward to the time you got to see Ville Valo again. Maybe for other reasons now than before, but the notion still applied. You were sad to see that he had his shirt back on and all of his stuff together, but you knew he’d end up back on the shop’s doorstop with a half-soggy pack of cigarettes in one hand sooner or later. He neared the door then, and you felt your heart jolt as he winked at you.

“Who knows. Maybe I’ll actually get the ink I paid for next time I see you.” To your surprise, instead of immediately leaving, Ville pulled you in then, not giving you much room to protest before he was kissing you slowly. The taste, though now familiar, made your composure swim dangerously, and you fisted one hand in the worn material of his shirt as you indulged the urge to deepen the kiss. It was hard to break away when the both of you finally forced yourselves to. “Bye, Y/n.”

“Bye, Valo. I’ll see you when the booze sales go up again.”

#ville valo #ville valo smut #ville valo x reader #ville valo fic #ville hermanni valo #HIM #his infernal majesty #jackass #jackass mtv #jackass imagine #jackass movie

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yournaothings · 6 months ago

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***Please be aware; there is violence and mentions of death in this chapter. After all, it's the Murder Time Trio.***

Yo! Here comes another chapter! Reader, you have a nickname. Also, remember! These murderous skellies are based off of CJ_Does_VA's Killer, BlankSceneVA's Dust, Anger_Is_Flawed's Horror, and CallmeSlate's Nightmare.

With that being said, please be aware of the original creators of these characters. I forgot to mention them in the first chapter, whoops.

Killer Sans: Rahafwabas Dust Sans: Ask-Dusttale Horror Sans: Sour-Apple-Studios Nightmare Sans: Jokublog

After the three murderous skeletons had their laugh, Horror was nice enough to help the human back up onto their feet. "Hehe, that looked like it hurt! Here, let me just-" He reached closer with a hand towel he had grabbed from the counter and helped clean the blood off of their face. The human's face contorted in pain as Horror wiped away the blood, their face sore from hitting the tiled floor so hard. "Thanks, Horror." They sighed once he was finished. "I appreciate it."

"It's no problem, heh." Horror tossed the now dirtied hand towel behind him, landing on top of Dust's head. The bloody part of the towel slapped him in the face, while the rest rested on top of the hood that covered his skull. "Ugh! Horror! What the fuck!" Horror hummed as he turned to see why Dust was so upset, only to laugh at Dust. "Hah! That's hilarious!" Dust glared at Horror as he tossed the towel aside. "I'm going to kill you." Horror tipped his head towards Dust while pointing at him with a wide grin. "You can try, buuut~ You won't be able to."

The human laughed softly while the two bickered back and forth, their hand raising to hide their smile. Killer chose that moment to steal his human's guest's attention away from the others. "So, now that that's over with! I never asked! What's your name, human?"

"Oh," The human smiled at Killer, easily forgetting that he had just been holding his knife way too close to their face several minutes ago. They introduced themselves. "It's nice to finally meet you, Killer. Regardless of how it all started, I'm very excited to be here." Killer's grin widened, giving off such a mischievous look. "It's nice to meet you too, toots. But, I think the name Angel is much better for you." He grinned at them. "Anyway! Like I said before, be aware of your surroundings and you'll be juuuust fine. Or not. You can never know when it comes to me~" Despite the warning yet again, they smiled. "What did you have planned for the day anyway? Anything in particular?" "I'm glad you asked!" Killer grinned at them gleefully, before grabbing their hand and started to drag them out of the kitchen and towards the back door. Angel eagerly followed, hoping whatever Killer had planned was going to be exciting!

The other two skeletons finally stopped arguing with each other as soon as Killer left the kitchen. "He's going to kill them." Dust states as he and Horror watch Killer drag the human guest out of the house and to the backyard. "Yeah, probably." Horror hummed. He turned to glance down at Dust then to the back door before deciding to follow after their chaotic skeleton buddy. Dust sighs from exhaustion, before he too followed after the others.

Killer placed Angel in front of a tree that clearly has been used as target practice with very sharp objects. "I really don't think this is a good idea, Killer." Angel said, feeling themselves sweat nervously and giving Killer a fearful look. "Ah, you'll be fine~! I never miss~"

Angel fidgeted in place while they waited for Killer to prepare. Killer grinned mischievously, spinning his knife around expertly. He turned around to adjust his camera, grinning to his audience. "Are you guys ready to see something great?" Just as Killer turned around and prepared to throw his knife, Nightmare wrapped his tentacle around Killer and lifted him off of his feet before he could do anything harmful.

"What are you idiots doing now?" Nightmare asked, annoyed with Killer. He glanced back at the human- "Oh, I forgot about you." He turned fully towards the human, frowning. "Really, boss?" Killer asked as he spun his knife around and stabbed it into Nightmare's tentacle. Nightmare's expression shifted from annoyance to an irritated glare and he tossed Killer back towards the house and out of frame from his audience. Killer screamed as he flew and crashed into the porch; Horror and Dust finally stepped out of the house. There was silence for a good solid minute before Dust leaned over, pointing and laughing at Killer's pain.

"You fucking idiots." Nightmare sighed heavily in annoyance. He pinched his nasal ridge, his one eye socket closing as he felt a headache coming on. "I don't know why I still keep you three." At the sound of the human's snickering, Nightmare straightened his posture and shot them a glare, making them press their lips into a thin line and straighten up. He could see the grin they were trying to hide, as well as feel the bit of fear they had.

"I never get tired of watching Nightmare toss you around like a ragdoll." Dust said as he started to calm down from his laughing fit. "That was pretty funny." "What did you do this time, Killer to make Nightmare throw you?" Dust asked, all three clearly ignoring Nightmare, who remained in place. "Well, he popped in right before I got to show off my nice knife skills to Angel and the audience. I may have stabbed him a little too hard~" Killer grinned excitedly; he wasn't fazed by Nightmare tossing him.

"You idiot." Dust huffed out, before returning to his usual calm and volatile self. "Heh-" Horror snickered before turning his attention to his boss. "Oh, uh, hey there, boss!" Nightmare sighs, rolling his cyan eye light. "Get the fuck over here, idiots."

Angel leaned against the tree while Dust and Horror made their way closer, Horror moving to check on them. Angel smiled reassuringly up to Horror. All the while, Killer struggled to get himself unstuck from the outdoor furniture he got trapped under.

Killer dusted himself off before teleporting over to stand beside his boss. "So, what's going on, boss? I thought you were busy with work?" Nightmare glared haphazardly at Killer, then Dust. "Come on, you're a part of this now, too~" Horror told Angel, as he placed a hand on the back of their neck and firmly nudged them towards Dust's side- Killer was on Dust's other side. Nightmare remained in front of the four.

"I have a mission for you all. One of my conquered AU's is being overtaken by my brother and his stupid Stars. I need you three to go and cause more chaos and negativity." Killer pulls out his knife and spins it expertly while giggling with excitement. "I'm game~" Dust shrugged; "Sure." Horror grins and summons his axe. "Sounds like fun~!" Nightmare relaxes his tense shoulders, before gesturing towards the human. "Take the human with you." Killer grins and salutes his boss. "You got it, boss!"

Nightmare rolls his singular eye light before telling them which AU they were going to, before melting into a puddle of goo and disappearing. Killer giggles as he teleports beside Angel and wraps an arm around their shoulders. "You're gonna love this! Oh!" Killer perks up and turns to his discarded camera. He walks over and picks it back up, booping his audience. "Heheh~ don't worry, everyone. I'm bringing you along, too~"

"Which AU are we going to, anyway?" Angel asks, smiling; however, it didn't quite reach their eyes. They were a little worried. Actually, worry didn't begin to cover how they felt. They were afraid. What if they got hurt? What if the three murderous skeletons left them behind? They fully expected to go home after their time with the Murder Time Trio.

"It's another Classic AU, but the humans made it a game to hunt and kill monsters." Killer explained, grinning. "If Dream and his Star boys have been meddling in that universe, then the humans and monsters may have found peace. Which means, we get to kill whoever we want and blame it on the opposite side!" Killer laughs as he spins his knife once more, before finally pocketing it and preparing to teleport to the AU with his team.

Horror pulls Angel close, his larger arm wrapped around them, as Killer gripped their hand, his other hand gripped Dust's hand. Dust shot Killer with a small glare, before he took Horror's other hand. "Let's get this over with." Dust huffs. "Aw~ Don't sound too excited, Dust~" Killer snickers. Dust stares straight ahead- right at Angel and grins. "Try not to get yourself killed, human. I suggest you find a hiding spot until we've finished." Angel tensed, their heart racing within their chest; this was a really bad idea. "I'll do my best to stay alive. Don't leave me behind, though, okay?" Dust grins underneath his hood, yet his two colored eye lights glowing ominously. "No promises~"

---

There was a heavy atmosphere of negativity that seemed to be slowly lifting away and being replaced by what Angel would describe as positive energy.

"Ugh, you can definitely feel Dream's magic here." Killer grouses as he watches the mayor speaking to the group of humans and monsters just ahead of them. The young human ambassador was making a speech with the King and Queen of the underground; they were indeed making a truce. A deal of peace.

Thanks to the strange trio of stars, both humans and monsters have seen eye to eye and wished to bring this unnecessary war to an end.

Yuck.

"Alright, boys." Killer grins, his liquid hate dripping much faster from his eye sockets. His grin was sharp and dangerous, his eye sockets narrowing in a predatory glare. He was ready to go! "Remember what Nightmare said. We've got to get rid of Dream's positivity."

"Yeah." Dust nods as he adjusts his scarf around his neck. "It's about time to gain more LV." He glances back at Angel, notices how they grew even more tense since they arrived. "Hey, I'm serious. Don't get yourself killed. Find a hiding spot and we'll come find you later." Angel frowned, they kind of wished Nightmare didn't make the trio bring them along. "Okay."

"Actually," Killer interjects as he continues to watch the ambassador, the king and the queen on the stage. "I've got a little job for you." Horror and Dust turned to look at Killer, curious as to what he had in mind. "Break up their little meeting, you can do whatever you'd like. Make them scared, so they can start scattering like frightened sheep."

Angel looked surprised, then uneasy. "Um, are you sure, Killer? What if something bad happens." Killer glances at Angel, his grin sharpening. "Don't worry, Angel~ We've got your back~ I know you'll do great out there." "Heh, yeah! We won't let any of these losers hurt you. All ya gots ta do is scare the crowd. We'll do the rest." Horror explains to Angel, his own grin wide and dangerous. Angel stood before the three skeletons as they stood at the ready for the attack.

They knew these skeletons were murderers. They knew this, yet they followed Killer's streams and other servers. During the streams, Killer was a lot of fun to interact with, to watch and play games with. It was so easy to forget that he was a, well... Killer. Now, standing before him and his teammates, the reality settled in. Today should have been a fun day hanging out with the Murder Time Trio. They were supposed to go on fun trips, or play video games! Not... Not this.

Killer isn't asking for you to kill anyone.But, he wants me to be a part of this mission. Which will lead to so many individuals' deaths. Would you rather run and hide, or show the three skeletons that you're up for the task? You're brave, after all, right?Right... I.. I can do this. They said that they wouldn't let anyone hurt me. Right, I can do this.

Closing their eyes and taking a deep breath in, Angel prepared themselves for their simple task of scaring the crowd. The rest would be up to the murderous skeletons. Angel exhaled and opened their eyes, nodding to the three. "Okay, I'll do it."

Killer's grin widened, his grip on his knives tightening. "I know you'll do great!" He encouraged them, then gave his signature laughter. Angel couldn't stop the grin that lifted their lips. His laughter was contagious, and surprisingly helped calm their anxious nerves. Turning towards the crowd, Angel breathed in deeply once more, held it for a few seconds before releasing it. I just have to scare the crowd, then go find a safe place to wait out the rest of the mission. With their task in mind, Angel hurried towards the crowd.

"They're something else, eheh." Horror chuckled, his grip on his axe tightening as he readied for the attack. "You shouldn't have included them." Dust said to Killer, the hooded skeleton's gaze remained on their human guest before looking at the crowd- specifically on one individual. "They're going to get hurt." "Aw," Killer's usual gruff voice was mixed with bloodlust. He was going to let his audience watch him and the boys in action, but there would be too much going on that would trigger his viewers. He may be a murderous monster, but he was careful with those he enjoyed having around; therefore he wished to protect them if he could.. Sorry, audience. There won't be any cool fight scenes this time.

"From this day forward, there will no longer be any more violence between mankind and monsters-" "It's a lie! While the ambassador, king and queen were speaking, they had monsters set out to kill innocent humans!" Angel shouted, startling the crowd and upsetting the King and Queen. "What-? That's not possible. Everyone is here-" "Then why did the monsters try to grab and kill me?!" Angel pointed to their still sore face, (how did they not start to bruise from their fall this morning?) "They're on their way here! I managed to escape them to warn you!"

"There are no monsters attacking humans! If you're just trying to start something-" The Undyne of the AU stepped forward, trying to stop the panic before it caused chaos.

"Oh no!"

"I see them! They're here!"

"Liars!"

The humans began to scatter like startled mice escaping their predator. Many humans shoved monsters out of the way, some even started to fight the monsters. The humans didn't play fair, either. Attacking the weaker monsters, while others didn't mind attacking the stronger ones.

The Queen called out to everyone, trying to get everyone under control again, but it was already too late. She gasped when she saw a monster jump into the frightened crowd, knife raised high above his head and landed on top of a monster. A blast of magic caught her attention, followed by painful and horrified screams. The Queen covered her mouth with her furry paws, her soul aching with dread and sadness as she watched not only the monsters, but the humans be slaughtered by these strange monsters. The bodyguards and security were quick to usher the King, Queen, and Ambassador off the stage and to a private black in color vehicle. However, before they could climb into the vehicle, a large and heavy axe came crashing down onto it, destroying the front end of the vehicle. Another monster stood before them with his dangerous and predatory grin. "Heh, no one's leaving, 'm afraid."

Chaos flared around the stage. No one bothered the retreating human as they hurried to a safer place and waited for the boys to finish. Honestly, Angel didn't really want to watch. As much as they enjoyed watching the boys playing their violent video games, Angel wasn't one for a front row seat to real violence. In fact, they could feel their heart racing with anxiety. They had to get to a safe place, where they could calm down and not think about what their favorite streamers were doing.

They didn't get very far when a familiar skeleton cut off their pathway to an empty shop. Angel struggled to stop before they ran into the skeleton. "Oh shit!" "heh, you're right. oh shit is right." This AU's Sans wasn't happy at all. Instead of going after Killer, Dust, or Horror, this Sans came after them. "got a question for ya, kid. you wanna have a bad time?" Angel tensed, but stood their ground. They straightened up their posture after having almost run right into Sans. They knew there was no lying their way out of this. It was Sans, after all. Hell, even if they told him the truth, Sans would still try to fight them. They were sure of it.

"I'd rather not have a bad time- Shouldn't you be trying to help your monster friends?" Angel asked, yet was shocked when Sans didn't get angry with them, or at least more than what he already was with them. "shouldn't you be helping your monster friends? where exactly did you four come from? i knew it wasn't a good idea to let those others stay." "You mean Dream and the Star Sans'?" As soon as they said it, they regretted it. Stupid! Why did you say that?! Sans narrowed his eye sockets, his grin tightening with uneasy and distrust. "you know them? are they a part of your team as well?" Angel thought about this for a moment, thoughts whizzing through their head as they thought their options over.

"I know of them, but I've never met them before. Dream is not on their team-" Angel started to explain. Sans cut them off, immediately. "whose team are you on? and don't think about lying to me, kid. i'll know if you are or not." Angel felt nervous, but they would be okay. The boys said they'd keep them out of harm's way. They just needed to get away from Sans, or at least distract him.

Killer's cackling echoed from the stage. Screams were heard, kids crying, and yelling as some humans and monsters fought against the Murder Time Trio. Angel turned to watch them. They left the young children alone, but killed the parents. Angel's heart squeezed in heartache for the children. The Ambassador would probably reset again, and judging by Sans' skull dripping with sweat, he didn't want that. Just thinking about it was making Angel regret their decision to help. This AU was finally getting to a happier chapter, and the Murder Trio swept in to tear away that peace. And worse of all, Angel had helped them with it.

Sans noticed the hesitation in Angel, the guilt and regret were written clearly on their expression. This AU's version of Sans was quick to summon a bone attack, aiming it right at Angel. An attack that was meant to strike down the enemy was wasted when Angel snapped out of their thoughts and dodged the sharpened bone. They stumbled on their feet and paused to look at Sans in shock, before they provided themselves a quick getaway; "I wouldn't waste my time with me. You better go check on your brother, instead."

This didn't help them in the least. Sans pretended to be relaxed, and unbothered at the idea of his brother being hurt. His grin grew tight from this intense situation. His eye lights were only white dots within his darkened eye sockets. "my brother can take care of himself, kid. you should worry about yourself instead." With this being said, Sans pulled Angel into an encounter. They hadn't thought about this happening, what if they weren't able to run away? What if Sans actually hurt them or worse? Angel took a deep breath, willing themselves to relax.

"I don't want to fight you." Angel said, refusing to fight and instead tried to reason with him. Sans chuckles once it was his turn and attacks them again. "sorry pal, i don't see eye to eye with you." He says, closing his right eye socket, while his left eye light ignited with his magic. Angel was able to dodge most of the bones sent their way, but got nicked in the arm a few times. Hissing in pain, Angel took a moment before they made their next move. Again, they refused to fight.

"Please, just let me go, Sans. I don't want to fight you. Go protect your brother and everyone." Angel told him. Sans' grin tightened, his eye sockets narrowed. "i never told you my name, kid." Angel froze, their eyes widening once he pointed out their mistake. Shit. Sans prepared his attack and sent a cascade of bones at them. This attack was harder to dodge, but Angel did their best to avoid getting too severely injured. They received several cuts, most were shallow. They knew they were going to be bruised up badly. One bone shot up from the ground and pierced through their left calf, tearing through skin and muscle. Angel cried out in pain as they fell to their knees once the bones disappeared.

Angel had a hard time catching their breath, the pain made it hard for Angel to focus on Sans. It was their turn now... They raised their head, shaking from the pain, and looked Sans directly in his eye lights with a look of determination. "I'm not going to fight you, Sans."

"jeez, kid." Sans chuckled, sweat dripping from his skull, unnerved by the stubbornness and determination this human had. "what's your deal, kid?" He chose to not fight this round, unsure if that was the right decision or not. Angel sighed and finally was able to spare Sans. "I wasn't lying when I told you that I didn't want to fight." Sans stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, feeling uneasy about letting the human go. "I just don't understand you, kid." Sans sighs as his shoulders drop from the tension before walking over to the human and reaching out a skeletal hand to help them up.

"Hey."

Sans and the human jolted at the dark and murderous voice and looked over to see Dust standing nearby with his Gaster Blaster preparing for an attack. "Don't touch them." Angel bit back a scream, afraid that they'd be hit by Dust's attack. However, Sans had teleported away, only for Dust to already be two steps ahead of him. His Gaster Blaster shot the energy beam, decimating this AU's version of himself.

"Oh shit, Angel!" Killer was suddenly beside them, helping them to stand up. "That's a nasty wound there." The human released a heavy sigh, letting the tension fall from their shoulders. "It hurts like hell." They were still bleeding, but they were glad to see that Sans had missed hitting an artery. "Oh man, little one." Horror grumbles as he finally joins the two skeletons. He gave them a worried look, from their injured body to their contorted painful expression. "You alright? Lookin' pretty beat up there." The human nods. "You can say that again.. But, I think I'm alright. I just need to be taken to a hospital-"

"We can't do that, Angel. Thankfully! We have Cross! He knows a little about healing humans. Come on, let's get you back to the house." Killer said and gestured for Horror to pick them up. They yelped when they weren't quite prepared to be moved so suddenly, but relaxed in Horror's arms. "Don't worry, little one! I'll be gentle with ya. Good ole Cross will take care of you when we get back." Angel peered over his shoulder to see piles of dust and humans laying around. "You're all finished..?" They asked, feeling a little sick to their stomach. "Yeah," Dust responded first, his gaze fixed on the pile of dust from this AU's Sans, before turning to look at the human. "Sorry for not getting here sooner." The human slowly blinked before offering Dust a smile. "Don't worry, Dust. You made it over just in time. Thank you." Dust hummed as he looked away.

"Okay, seriously guys. Let's get our human home." Killer said, as he prepared for all of them to teleport home. He squeezed Dust's hand a little too tightly, letting Dust know that he was upset that the human was still showing favoritism towards Dust rather than Killer. Dust glanced over at Killer and grinned slyly. "They still like me better." "Ugh! Shut the fuck up, Dust!" Killer snarled as they teleported out of the AU.

---

"What did you guys do to them?" Cross asked, sounding exasperated as he looked over the human's injuries. They sat on the counter yet again, where Cross carefully looked at the injuries. "Dude! They fought a Sans, and won!" Killer exclaimed with his usual excitement. "Can you fucking believe it?! This amazing human fought another version of us and won!" He grins at Angel, nudging their side. Angel jolted from the bit of pain that came from his elbow pressing against their sore side. Yet, they laughed softly and felt their face flush from receiving such praise. "I actually thought I was going to die." "But, you didn't!" Killer's voice raised as he hyped them up. He suddenly turned towards his camera, his audience finally back to see the aftermath of the mission. "Did you hear that?! Angel fought against a Sans and won!"

Cross simply ignored Killer's excitable energetic self while he carefully rolled up the human's pant leg to get a better look at their wound. "This doesn't look too bad, but we do need to clean it. I don't think the Boss has anything for that, so I'll go grab some supplies from the store." He glanced up at the human, looking perfectly serious, just how he always did. "Stay put, I'll be back." Angel nodded and blinked a few times when Cross suddenly disappeared from sight.

Killer was busy talking to his audience, explaining to them how the mission went and the aftermath of his human's fight with that AU's Sans. Horror was busy cooking up some food, claiming that the monster magic will help with Angel's healing. Dust was already sprawled out on one of the sofas and snoring. Angel heard a noise and glanced over to see Nightmare slipping out of the shadows of the hallway and walked into the kitchen, his expression contorted to one of disgust.

"What the hell happened to the human?"

"Boss, Boss!" Killer spun around so quickly, Angel wondered if he gave himself whiplash. Did skeletons get whiplash? Hm, I wonder. "Angel fought a Sans and they won!" "Who the fuck is Angel?" Nightmare sneered, glaring at the energetic Killer. "Silly! It's our human here!" Nightmare's gaze left Killer to look at Angel. "Oh, uh. Good job." Nightmare pat their head, before noticing the nasty wound on their leg. "Why are you letting them bleed out in my kitchen?" Killer chuckled before turning to grab another towel to lay under Angel's leg. "This isn't really your kitchen, boss. Remember? It's CJ's." Nightmare sent a half-hearted glare to the annoying skeleton. "I don't care, you're allowing blood to containment the area where we cook." He then glanced over at Horror and narrowed his eye socket at him. "I'm surprised you're not getting upset with Killer for this."

"Hmm~ Huh? Oh, yeah. It's not sanitary to have blood near the food- but, it's okay, Night. We'll clean everything up!" Horror said before going back to humming while he finished up the little snack he was making for everyone. "Oh! Annnd~ Here we go!" He used his magic to summon the plates and silverware, placing the food on each plate before sending them to Killer, Angel, and Dust. Killer caught his plate, his food shifting a little from the impact. Angel gently took their plate and thanked Horror with a smile. Dust's plate fell on top of his face, smashing against him before falling onto the floor and spilling all of the food. Dust snorted and sat up, looking around. "Who the fuck did that?!" He snarled, angry that he was awoken from his nap. "Aw, Dusty Rusty Mus-" Horror began to say, pouting a little from his delicious food being wasted. "Finish that fucking name and I'll murder you." Dust threatened, his eye sockets narrowing as his eye lights went out.

Horror only laughed and took that as a challenge, his good eye socket narrowing as well. "Dusty Rusty Musty Poo~" Dust off the sofa in a split second, his Gaster Blaster summoned and ready to blast Horror away. Nightmare sighed in annoyance and sent his tentacles to grab Dust and pull him away. "No fighting in the house!" Dust sputtered as he freed an arm and pointed accusingly at Horror, who stood in place, giggling and happily chewing on his food. "Horror started it! What the fuck!" "Yeah? Well, I'm going to finish it!" Nightmare raised his voice, threateningly. Dust sputtered a moment longer before giving up and fell limp in Nightmare's hold. Pleased with this, Nightmare dropped Dust onto the floor, where Dust just laid and pulled his hood over his head even more. A clear message to not mess with him any longer.

"Okay," Cross appeared again, his arms full of human bandages and cleaning liquids. He dumped them on the counter beside the human. "Just so you know, this is going to hurt." Cross warned Angel, before he acknowledged Nightmare. "Oh, hi, Boss." "You didn't tell me you were back." Nightmare grumbled and crossed his arms. Cross frowned and tried to hide his face in his scarf. "I forgot..." Nightmare sighed as he pinched his nasal ridge. "Ugh, just don't let it happen again." Cross nodded as he got busy cleaning the human's wound. "Yes sir."

Cross began to work on cleaning around the wound before carefully cleaning the wound itself. Angel hissed from the pain, but managed to sit still for Cross to finish. The silly goofball of a skeleton known as Killer provided them with a distraction as he suddenly appeared beside Cross, his chin hovering just above Cross' shoulder. "What're you doing, Crossy?" Killer asked in his gravelly voice. This surprised Cross, making him almost hurt the human. He glared at Killer before shoving him back. "I'm taking care of your human. Why did you let them get involved in the mission? What would have happened if they died?" Killer laughed. "Oh, Crossy~ I knew the human was going to be okay. But, that's not important. What is, is where you have been all morning! I wanna know!"

Cross leveled a look at Killer from over his shoulder, before going back to fixing up the human's calf. "Boss gave me a solo mission. It's none of your business." Killer grinned, yet it didn't reach his eyes- in fact, his bone brow twitched from the irritation Cross was causing. "Aw, come on, Crossy~" Nightmare's heavy sigh hardly caught Killer's attention, as always; Cross and Angel glanced over at Nightmare, watching him struggle with trying to remain calm from Killer's antics. "I gave him the solo mission because I knew you fuck ups wouldn't be able to complete it!" Nightmare growled, glaring at Killer and Horror- Dust was still on the floor, snoozing. "Wait, what?" Horror asked, sounding a bit crestfallen. "Hey, that was really mean, Boss!" Killer playfully pouted, moving over to lean closer to Boss. "We didn't fuck up this last mission! We did exactly what you asked!" Angel frowned, their eyebrow raising in curiosity. "Nightmare wanted you to kill everyone?"

Nightmare glared at Killer, his tentacles whipping from his irritation. "We didn't kill everyone! Just the nobodies!" Killer explained, grinning at his Boss. "If I find out that you idiots caused another reset in that AU, I'm killing you." Angel felt bad for saying anything- "You're not really going to kill them, are you?" Nightmare turned his glare at Angel. "No." He grumbled. "I'm just going to beat the crap out of them." "Haha! I knew you cared, Boss!" Killer laughed, before he was suddenly tossed out of the kitchen by one of Nightmare's tentacles. "Whooa!"

Horror snickered and started to make more food. After all, Dust had wasted his food- even though it was somewhat his fault. Besides! He was still hungry! Oh! And don't forget about the human! They needed enough magic to help that wound and their sore body!

"There," Cross said as he finished wrapping their wound. He straightened up and offered a small smile to Angel. "It's not perfect, but you'll be fine." Angel smiled as they finished their snack. "Thanks a lot, Cross! I appreciate it!" Cross' face glowed from his purple blush, and he mumbled an embarrassed and quiet, "You're welcome." He hesitated for a moment before turning away and leaving to go spend his free time elsewhere.

"I hope you've had fun, human. It's time for you to go home." Nightmare said as he stepped closer and gave them a small glare. Angel smiled at him, which perplexed him. They should fear him! Or at the very least be uncomfortable around him. "I suppose I am ready to go home. Thank you for letting me come hang out with your boys. It was a lot of fun, even though I ended up hurt on a few occasions."

"What?!" Killer was suddenly in the kitchen, pouting at his boss. "Come on, Nightmare! Please, please, please don't send them home, yet!" Nightmare turned to face Killer and frowned at him. "I'm not sending them home; you're going to take them home. Take Horror and Dust with you." Killer perked up, excited to see which AU his favorite human fan lived. "Wait, really?!" He turned to grin at Angel, Horror and Dust having turned their attention towards the human. "Hear that, Angel? We're taking you home! I hope you're ready for me to see where you live! Heheh~ I just might stalk you, too!" He laughed. Angel was excited, yet nervous. They lived with their friend, and they were sure their roommate was home. "I can't wait." Angel said and smiled nervously.

This might end up in a disaster...

((Note from Author: I just want you all to know that literally half of what happened in this chapter was NOT on my plot list. -crying face-))

#yournaothings #chilling with the MTT #killer sans #horror sans #Dust sans #Nightmare Sans #Cross #XTale Sans #fighting #writing #cjdoesva #angerisflawed #blanksceneva #callmeslate #not shipping reader with the boys #platonic #friends #eventual found family

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beardedmrbean · 8 months ago

Note

Zoomer Huey, I tend to see people saying why Gen z don’t have sex much.

Holy

Fucking

Shits

These journalists surprisedly have WORSE self awareness than there boomer relatives

Here a hint https://x.com/swannmarcus89/status/1762582001507323991?s=46

And gender dynamics are…nuked in the fields they are surveying. Women and girls are told that all men are predators and misandry is left unchecked

Also, why Hollywood act surprised about the sex abuse?

We all heard about the casting coach, and how suspiciously people from working class backgrounds like Micheal Jackson (yes his dad had his music connections. But essentially mj was a slave and was arguably was the first black child star unless I’m missing someone) and Walt Disney (though not as bad) are painted as monsters while the actual monsters are protected for decades

I mean look at Judy Garland, she was a sweet person and she did help the LBGT in Hollywood and supported the civil rights movement

But her “crazy” behavior makes more sense because she was sexually abused at a extremely young age

And she not the only one, Shirley Temple, the boy who played at the first LA Dennis the Manis

Oh and the Peter Pan actor (a lot of people leave out the part where ALL of Hollywood basically says he can choke and die because he was “too” Disney)

But sorry about the Gen stuff, but the false rape accusations, maybe if you guys didn’t view men (especially white ones) the same way Nazis viewed the Jews while saying all the working class men were Weinstein.

My Gen would have more sex

Entertainment industry has been like that since the beginning of forever, probably less so when women weren't allowed to participate but still a thing I'm sure.

As for Judy Garland it was nice to see people come out swinging in her defense when someone tried to start shit over well

She was not in control of her carer, saying no was not an option for her with this, but dumbasses that can only think in terms of today's standards never think about that.

Jay North (Dennis the Menace) did ok, so did Shirley Temple, plenty of others not so much, more recently we can look at Drew Barrymore and RDJ who both had fairly public meltdowns and problems.

Drew was ruined since her first film was ET and Spielberg takes care of the kids on set, going beyond the legal requirements.

Bobby Driscol was the Peter Pan VA top of his Wiki article.

Robert "Bobby" Cletus Driscoll (March 3, 1937 – c. March 30, 1968) was an American actor who performed on film and television from 1943 to 1960. He starred in some of the Walt Disney Studios' best-known live-action pictures of that period: Song of the South (1946), So Dear to My Heart (1949), and Treasure Island (1950), as well as RKO's The Window (1949). He served as the animation model and provided the voice for the title role in Peter Pan (1953). He received an Academy Juvenile Award for outstanding performances in So Dear to My Heart and The Window.

He just fell into the child actor pit, where he wasn't "cute" anymore couldn't get gigs and couldn't adjust to not being in the spotlight, the way he went and nobody knowing is awful to think about still.

Jackie Coogan, on the other hand was a different story.

His parents sucked and as a result there's a series of laws named after him California's Coogan Law all about protecting the earnings of child actors from their parents. % goes into a trust iirc.

He ended up OK in the end though

The false accusation thing, #me too hurt women because #believe women was taken advantage of to such a degree that even this coming out to light

has still probably not cleared up for the trooper, and men are opting to not mentor women because of not wanting to risk a false accusation, everyone screams about how rare they are, to which I say so what, why should they assume the risk even if it's minor

Former VP Mike Pence came out and said he won't be alone with a woman that's not his wife in order to ensure that there is no possibility of someone making a claim of impropriety.

And he got this response

Why is anyone going to put their neck on the line when something like what he said is going to get this kind of response.

Maybe instead of crying about how rare false accusations are they should focus on shaming the people making them and coming up with solutions to keep them from happening.

You know instead of blaming the victims of the false accusations.

All this and so much more going on that isn't in this ask goes to the I don't blame people for not having as much sex, it's actually kinda nice too, fewer std's this way.

I went on a couple tangents, hope that's ok

#zoomer huey anon

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ilikelookingatthings · 4 months ago

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Some radiostatic theories

SO I like many who have watched read or come across hazbin hotel have gotten a mini fixation on the character Alistor, a red suspitious always smiling, radio deer cannibal serial killer, and Vox, a TV headed hynosis demon who is persuasive with his grin and is one of the overlords in the v club(including Valentino the moth man who runs a porn studio and Velveete who is a influencer fashion demon).

For me it's the draw of the t.v. killed the radio star vibes. They clearly used to be friends as vox is obsessed with him where Val brought him up to get under his skin, he has a old ripped picture of alistor and he had apparently asked alistor to join them before and was turned down... they clearly had big falling out.

There is alot of fun to play with. Some enjoy the one sided potential drama of vox being in love with alistor and that not being reciprocated because alistor might be somewhere on the acespectrum(not that alistor seems complete aware of that since he had no idea what Rosie meant when she called him a aceinthehole).

most who enjoy the one-sided view call it radiosilence.

Some enjoy the angst that is the pain of losing a friend when you don't return the romantic feelings. And that vox is the one at fault for leaving alistor behind by going with Val and Velveete and letting the chase of what's new creating a rift.

Some enjoy the idea of bitter ex boyfriends.

That the obsession isn't as one-sided as alistor didn't ignore vox's provocation.

Some make it about just romance being tye reason for the fall out...

....but honestly for me they give a kindof mister crabs, plankton energy. They are both in hell so are terrible people to some degree sp it would be a bit boring if the fall out was just about romance...a possible good opportunity to address unrequited love or the spectrum maybe but does feel kindof simple.

Especially considering the potential in rival best friends turn enemy old men have.

Friendship wise its already juicy for angst. Was it a misunderstanding? Lots of built up problems? Drifting apart as friends? A sense of betrayal on both ends?

Some people lean over one being more at fault than the other. A few lean to them both sucking. Some say jt was vix who didn't respect alistor just didn't like him back...others say it was alistor rejecting vox.

I would like to raise the theory that if vox DID have a crush on alistor...vox either didn't know he had it...or vox decided to not adress it because their friendship was more important to him and he could tell alistor didn't like him back romantically and that their fall out was from other issues in their friendship...like potentially love coukd be why vox felt more extremely hurt but I think it would be more interesting if vox's issue wasn't about unreturned feelings.

Like what if vox tried to distract himself to maje sure alistor wouldnt feel uncomfortable to make sure alistor didn't catch on to his crush and hence Valentino steps in who alistor might find worse in general?

And if it really was just a business partnership vox offered where he was just hurt his friend didn't join him on.

Makes me way more curious about their dynamic if their friendship was sincere but issues popped up.

What theories to others have that it might have played out? I'm just saying for someone who says he hates alistor why did he keep the side of the photo that has alistor on it and not himself?

What if alistor was the one with a crush but vox didn't realize is another interesting one since alistor is so pissed he seems to hate TV and other things involved vox despite how new media is interesting and alistor does know how to shoot a commercial and this way he does get vox's attention.

We've also seen alistor have a questionable triebd in mimsy...but did he really tell Mimsy to leave ciz he was upset...or does he care and doesn't want her involved with what he's doing now? And could that echo what he might have done with vox?

Heck it could be possible neither is aware of potential romanic feelings at all. Are in denial. One sided...betrayal because they had unrequited feelings that weren't returned...or feeling betrayed the other had romantic feelings whether they wanted to act on it or not.

Maybe it wasn't about romance and about how they handled friendship? Or just creative differences in how they handled things...competion driving them apart or how hell encouraged your worst self to come out. Heck they both could just have bruised pride somewhere that escalated.

#Vox #Alistor #TV #Radio #Radiostatic #Radiosilence #Friendship #Rivalry #Best friends #Crushes #Hazbin #hazbin hotel #Hazbin alistor #Hazbin vox #Radio demon #TV demon #V tower

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blondeaxolotl · 23 days ago

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Do you think Clip Studio is worth the payments? ( asking for a friend/j ) And do the pros outway the cons or is it the other way around? Also, do you use custom brushes? And one last question.. Do you just draw on your laptop? Like, do you use a mouse, touchscreen or maybe a drawing tablet?

I've never seen anybody ask these questions and I'm curious, you don't have to answer though! Have a bagel 🥯🤲 and if you don't like bagels... 🥪🤲 Have a sammich.. and.. if you don't like either uhmm- Have a whole damn cake 🎂🤲 happy birthday [/silly], or hell, take all three! Have a wonderful day ❤️ [/gen]

Do you think Clip Studio is worth the payments?: When it comes to payments, I think it's always better to get it when it's on sale (which do come every now and then), it is a onetime payment and it's better to get it when the price is as low as it can be For pros and cons, the biggest pro of the program is you can get new brushes, blenders, erasers, tools, etc (anything that will help you with drawing easier) from the programs own little assets store (and majority of the brushes are free to download). And it's also easy to import brushes you get from other places (ex: you buy a brush from Kofi made by another artist). Meaning you have options in CSP's own brush store, and also other places on the internet, you aren't stuck with just using the default brushes you're given when you start the program That's the biggest pro to me, besides that you have everything else that comes with your average art program,

I will also mention that clipstudio also has it's own 3D modeler program, like you can import 3D figures and use them as your reference if you can't find one on pinterest. Though I've haven't used it myself so I do not know how easy it is or what the features are, so I can't comment much.

I think the last biggest pro is that if you program crashes (not often, but the chances are never low unfortunately), clip studio will restore your drawing for you and your drawing won't be sent to the shadow realm meaning you don't lose progress. I compare it to dropping your phone and you slowly pick it up out of fear that theres a crack in it only to find out oh there's not one it's fine.

Now for the cons, the biggest is the definitely the price, which is why I recommend getting it while it's on sale while it's at it's lowest. The program is insanely pricey. I also recommend the PRO ver instead of the EX ver. The PRO ver is cheaper and it's main focus is illustrations which is all you need if you're only planning on drawing. The EX ver is both for drawing and animation, while you can still animate on the PRO ver, it limits you insanely, like you can only make 25 second long animations and refuses to let you do more unless you pay for the EX ver. Now I have the EX ver and I'm learning animation, I will say Clip Studio's animation set up and layout is very confusing and tedious to beginners (I had to watch a good amount of tutorials to understand the features and everything), I believe some people compared it to animating on Photoshop, so if you haven't animated on Photoshop before, good luck. I'd say just use another animation program for animating (Flipaclip, ibispaint etc), the only reason why I'm sticking to animating to ClipStudio is because I'm stubborn and don't like switching programs. Clip Studio also has a free trial feature (which I believe lasts for 3 months), now this is good yes, but the problem is that the program refuses you to save your drawings with the free trial. I don't know if this was changed or not since it's been a while when I used the free trial, but if you want to get a hang of the program and test it out, there is a free trial, just be aware that it won't let you save your progress at all which is bull.

Those are my pros and cons, I have a lot more pros than cons but I tried to sum it up as best as I could. It's really your choice to decide if the program is worth it or not (again there is a free trial, and if you do plan on buying it, get it while it's on sale) The assets store with all the downloadable brushes is my biggest pro, but I'm aware other programs like IbisPaint also have that. I think that's all I have to say now for ClipStudio, i've yapped alot gulps.

---- do you use custom brushes?:

A good handful of the brushes I use are brushes I bought from other artists:

These brushes from PharanBrush on Kofi , I'm someone who likes to experiment with alot of brushes, so I often download/buy from other artists (I also have no self control). The EnpitsuP set comes with 100 brushes, alot I know, but your options are endless. The Krupuk set comes with 160 brushes, and alot of them are similar to like copic markers but for digital art. And the last one is BōrupenP sets, these are free and mimic school supplies, if you miss the feeling of drawing on your school books with pens, this one is also neat (plus it's free) Another brushpack I have is Cole's Pencil Pack , it comes with 19 brushes, of all kinds of taste and texture. I use this set alot, especially the "Cream Sketch 2" pencil as it's fun for lineart or sketching.

(Can you tell I like supporting artists) next set I have is Brush Box Vol.1 Markers by Olguioo this set mimics the feel of traditional art and even has a brush that makes your canvas look like paper!! It's very neat

Now of course I do have brushes that are free from the assets store, like these, which you can easily find by searching up their content ID codes:

Ofc there's more, but these are just some I use which I find neat!

---- Do you just draw on your laptop? Like, do you use a mouse, touchscreen or maybe a drawing tablet?:

I use a laptop and a drawing tablet! I specifically use the VEIKK Studio VK1200 pen display, my brother bought me it as a birthday gift this year, but before I had that one, I used the beginners One by Wacom tablet for like 4 years or more, I still use it sometimes, but only when i'm on vacation somewhere I can't bring my main one

OKAY I think that's about everything!!! Very long post so apologies if there are any typos or misspells or repeats! And thank you for the food, in return I will share the food with you because sharing is caring (ALSO if anyone elses wants to add something like other pros or cons about ClipStudio, or other brushes or anything like that, please feel free to leave it in the replies!!!)

#My ass yapped a whole essay here #mono ask #clip studio paint #again sorry for any typos/misspells/repeats LMAO

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thefirstknife · 1 year ago

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Important words from Robert Brookes (again):

Bungie commented on the confusion in a recent roundtable Q&A that I attended. Naturally, the studio's representatives didn't offer any actual answers, but they did at least show that they're aware of the confusion and contradictions. "Welcome to the problem that all Bible scholars have trying to figure out—what may or may not have happened and lining that up to actual historical events," says senior narrative designer Robert Brookes. "Unveiling is a parable. It is effectively a religious text. And how much of that is propaganda, how much of that is myth, how much of that is fact is deeply unclear in the nature of the text." Brookes notes that, when Unveiling first dropped, players did take it as the literal gospel truth. "Players believed it to be 100% fact: there was a literal garden, there was a literal Gardener, there was a literal Winnower. And now it's starting to become clear that those may not actually be just concrete ideas, but metaphors or things that are far less concrete and clear. And as we get closer into The Final Shape, more answers on that will start coming up. And The Final Shape, of course, will have a lot of answers about the nature of those conflicts." Brookes refused to offer any more hints on how this will all resolve. Except for this: "The contradictory nature has always kind of been intentional. Whatever the Witness says, maybe don't trust it."

The relevant bits! I'm not sure if this really needed full clarification, but to have it is nice either way. Unveiling is metaphorical. As it says itself. The fact that it's confusing and contradictory is 100% intended. The writers didn't forget about it and didn't make a mistake. The whole point of Unveiling is that it's an allegory, a story, propaganda and everything that comes with it.

This doesn't really say all of it is entirely wrong, so we might still be looking at some general hints about the origin of everything, but it's not a scientific or historical document and never has been. It literally starts with telling us it's just a story:

Once upon a time,* a gardener and a winnower lived** together in a garden.*** * It was once before a time, because time had not yet begun. ** We did not live. We existed as principles of ontological dynamics that emerged from mathematical structures, as bodiless and inevitable as the primes. *** It was the field of possibility that prefigured existence.

I believe this only confirms that the Witness did indeed write it. This was always a possibility, just not something we could really either confirm or deny. The change in tone can now be attributed to the fact that it's 100% deliberately propaganda so it's selling itself in a way to be relatable (or possibly one of the billions of people that the Witness consists of is what wrote the Unveiling to sound like this). But there's a lot more to learn here and we will learn more in TFS. Desperately in need of some Traveler's POV on this whole thing and on the Witness.

So, did anything from Unveiling really happen? Well, no. Sort of. It never did, because it "happened" before existence. Is there some truth to certain details? Maybe, but it's wrapped in a religious propaganda piece so ultimately it's just not a good source for anything and these details will only make sense when we find a more reliable storyteller.

Super excited for all lore going forward.

#destiny 2 #witness #unveiling #winnower

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aspaceformbf · 24 days ago

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so heres a fun question/opionion.

what would happen if peters job being a video tester, needed him for work or worst case secnerio, he lost a few videos on the products. do you think Peter could be away from Y/n to fix his work or would he not give it a glance.

Oh Peter what are you Going to do???

I mean it depends on your financial situation, he could let it slide and apologize to the buyer or work overtime.

---

His job as a product tester is something he does from home anyway, and I don't think he would really go out much even before he met you so I don't think that would change.

You're with him so I can imagine he would do anything he can to stay close to you. So if he really, REALLY had to travel somewhere for work or content, he would bring you along.

.. which he usually wouldnt since he already has a studio in his own home. As far as i'm aware he can pick and choose which products he wants to review and which offers to take, so I don't think he's under some kind of company contract to move around.

Though if you need a lot of cash for your own needs and aspirations then yeah maybe he will find more jobs to take on, so he can make you happy. He will still definitely want to stick close to you though.

---

Oh you meant him just doing his job instead of spending time with you? I mean, maybe, if things get real tough? Though he would be happy if the two of you could work together.

I mean if he can kill people without being detected and watch you undetected for months id imagine he would be resourceful enough to make a living without neglecting you

If you really wanted him to have his attention fully on you to the point that he can't do his work as usual, then I can imagine him working while you're asleep or otherwise busy. With coffee. Sooo much coffee..

---

He does have a good amount of savings though since he generally doesn't spend much on himself.

So i can easily see him spending the first few months or years even fully focused on you. When the savings start trickling down, earning a living can be something the two of you discuss together.

He is pretty resourceful though so i don't see earning a decent living as a huge problem for it, i mean, he's probably made plans for stuff like that since he wants to take care of you.

#ask

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xohyeona · 2 months ago

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༺♱༻ BELLADONNA ༺♱༻

BELLADONNA is CERISE’s first studio album, released on september, friday the 13th, 2024. the album is heavily conceptual with the first half of the album representing danger and the second half, betrayal. throughout the album, CERISE represents a dangerous and alluring woman, mirroring a belladonna flower.

this album completely skyrocketed CERISE into mainstream popularity, being praised for her aesthetic visuals and intricate sound. BELLADONNA debuted at number 7 on the gaon album chart. the music video for the title track, REBIRTH, reached 25 million views in the first 24 hours. the song also received 5 music show wins during its month long promotional period. BELLADONNA did well not only domestically, but internationally as well, reaching number 5 on the billboard 200 chart, along with being praised for its dark sound and visuals reminiscent of a24 films.

༺♱༻ TRACKLIST ༺♱༻

TAPE IT BACK TOGETHER

LUCID

REBIRTH

X-FILE

FEEL GOOD

calm myself

maybe?

roots

loveholic hangover (feat. lee mujin)

get it now?

༺♱༻ THE STORY OF BELLADONNA ༺♱༻

TAPE IT BACK TOGETHER sets the tone for the album, dark and angry. cerise expresses distain and bitterness towards someone, using she/her pronouns in question. she wants to use her for her own personal gain, break her down and tape her back to together. it introduces the type of character belladonna is portrayed to be, sadistic and evil.

LUCID is the most alluring song on the album. she’s welcoming you in, encouraging the listener to follow her and enjoy this moment. she uses whispers and a seductive tone to give that feeling of skepticism, which aligns with the first song of the album. her words are encouraging, but her voice and the previous context makes you wonder if it’s really the best idea.

REBIRTH is the standout title track. it’s haunting instrumental and bittersweet vocals mark it as a standout in cerise’s discography. the lyrics of this song define belladonna, with lines such as, i'm born with a fake smile; an illusion in delirium sheds light to my manipulated memories; i just keep lying to you; my pure face has been a lie, and, hate me, it's a blessing. it’s an honest warning that you almost don’t want to believe.

X-FILE embraces the evil cerise feels. this sets as the beginning theme of the album of cerise switching from feeling bad about her actions to not caring at all. in this song, she doesn’t care about how bad she is as along as she can keep her “love” around. her vocals are purposefully slurred at some points, emphasizing on her mental state, which isn’t good.

in FEEL GOOD, cerise snaps into reality a bit. she begins to question why she feels so satisfied with hurting others. what is causing this urge to do so? this is defined by the lyrics, i want to hurt you, my heart gets more twisted, and i don’t know why i’m smiling. she feels evil, but instead of hating it she’s numb to that feeling. she feels good doing what she does even though she knows she shouldn’t.

calm myself serves as an interlude in this story. she begins to realizes how far gone she is, feeling the need to “calm herself” the transition is also marked by the lack of capitalization on the album, followed by the rest of the songs. she thought that her destructive tendencies where healing her but she realizes that she was only hurting herself. the song is filled with self awareness, supported by the line, i had to coming.

maybe? switches the perspective a bit. cerise puts herself in the perspective of the person she’s hurting. it’s like she’s taunting and ridiculing herself for treating them this way. though the coldness she peaks into the line, maybe, brings back the careless feelings of the album.

roots feels almost intrusive. the instability in her mind serves as the root of her problems and actions. cerise uses a mixture of dull and painful emotions in her voice to display the emptiness she feels.

loveholic hangover is a soft ballad featuring lee mujin as a vocalist. this song serves as an honest conversation. cerise’s sings an apology, feeling the weight of her actions while seemingly admitting that alcohol played a factor. she reflects on the situation, blaming the lonely nights and tasteless love.

get it now? completes the story with one final question, do you get it now? do you understand now that you’ve heard the whole story, from her perspective, or are you still falling behind?

༺♱༻ ERA ༺♱༻

♱ to say cherries were shocked was an understatement. the album and the visuals gave psychological horror film and cherries were here for it. she said her visual inspiration were movies like maxxxine, ballerina, audition, and look away

♱ fans and even non fans were impressed with her styling for this comeback. her usage of gothic fashion, intricate makeup looks, and red and black color scheme really allowed her to stand out amongst others. one of her looks with a black heart drawn on her nose bridge went viral on social media. she was praised for doing something different in an industry where it’s usually frowned upon.

♱ when cerise was asked about what inspired this album, she talked about the artist who inspired her the most. “my favorite album is electra heart by marina, and it’s a concept album. she portrays a complex character and i was inspired to do the same. i don’t know if belladonna is an alternate version of me or a completely separate character but i wanted to tell her story through this album.” cue marina responding to a tweet with this clip captioning ‘love u 🖤’ and cherries losing their shit

♱ during the showcase for the comeback, she was asked which song was her favorite. she said that her top three favorites are roots, rebirth, and calm myself. roots is the song that’s most personal to her, she likes rebirth because it sounds and feels cinematic, and calm myself is her top favorite because of the instrumental.

♱ cerise actually got into a little controversy regarding one of the lyrics in x-file. with weed being illegal in korea and one of the opening line to the song being wanna take a puff of my joint?, netizens accused cerise of doing drugs and asked her to change the lyrics. she had to come out and deny any usage of illegal substances but also stated that she would not be changing the original lyrics. “why? because i don’t want to.”

♱ in celebration of their collab, cerise appeared on an episode of lee mujin service where the two performed loveholic hangover. cerise also sang covers of jam jam by iu, million dollar man by lana del rey, and new girl by finneas. they also revealed that cerise had randomly texted mujin three weeks before recording asking him to be on the song. she said that she asked him because his “voice is pretty and the song would be boring by herself.”

༺♱༻ STYLING ༺♱༻

#i think i lost my halo ༺♱༻ discography.#fictional idol community #fictional kpop community #fictional kpop oc #fake kpop idol #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #idol oc #kpop oc #ficnetfairy #idolverse

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alexissara · 11 months ago

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Alexis Sara's Top 10 Most Anticipated Games Of 2024

We're about to enter 2024 and with that we have all the lists, lists I am not immune to making because I slowly build them up all year. Last year I played a fuck load of games and so this year I wanted to talk about 10 games I think look really fucking cool that are coming out in the next year or two. Some of these games are likely to release in 2025 instead but it'll be fun to see if they remain on the list next year then. I mostly just wanted to spotlight some art that looks cool to me outside of the context of a Sapphic Games Guide or a Review and maybe get others on the hype train with me. This list is not in order and just 10 games I think look like they could have an impact on me, I may not even buy every game on this list but there the 10 that look like I am most likely to check out.

Gales Of Nayeli

So this is one of two games on the list I've already purchased. I backed the kickstarter of the game a while back and I thought "it looks alright and when I asked if there was gonna be any sapphic content the creator told me in depth what content he had already made so sure I'll back it. What was more if a thank you for being so kind and responsive so fast has turned into my most hype game of the year. Blindcoco and me have become friends over time so I am biased but I was actually sold on the game before me and him became buddy buddy when I played the demo and saw the amazing work that went into it. Then the extremally positive response from him and the community towards my desire to focus in on women and sapphic women only added to my excitement for the game.

The game genuinely seems to be raising the bar for SRPGs and really feels like it is a step above Fire Emblem and not an emulation of Fire Emblem. I loved the demo and the concepts in the game so much it inspired me to start working on my own SRPG studios game knowing what is possible at the high end of investment in the system can really be something special and really cool. I love that there is a focus on trying to cast voice actors who match ethnicity to the diverse cast, I love that there is a wide range of diversity in the revealed cast, I love the amount of queer women I am aware of in the game, I love the animations and sprite work, I love the gameplay, I am really really excited about this game and I think this game has a high shot at being one of my favorite games.

Fields Of Mistria

I make fun of farming sims a little on my lists and stuff but only because I actually love farming sims especially in concept. This game probably has my favorite art style of the whole lot of games today. It's lovely 90s anime style sprite work is just AHHHHHHHHHH so good. I do in fact want to kiss the women in this game very badly and I would enjoy playing the game for the sake of dating them alone.

Rune Factory: Dragon

Let's bang out the second farming sim while we're at it. We don't know a bunch about this game but it really just has to do two things for me to be into it. One, let you be gay like the newest RF and Story of Season games already let you do and Two, keep up the art direction and bam, I'm in. My biggest problem with the last Rune Factory game was that the art style made every woman look like a 12 year old and not in the like chibi story of seasons way like they just looked like they were kids. This however, has a much better set of art direction and it makes me think there might actually be women I'd want to gay marry.

Mahou Senshi Cosplay Club

I really love Behold's previous game Chroma Squad but when I got this demo I had no idea they were the Chroma Squad people. The mix of dress up and RPG gameplay is a dream come true kind of game and the outfit customization is leagues beyond a game like Fashion Dreamer despite likely being made on a much smaller budget. The PSX style graphics actually work here with them evoking nostalgic graphics while also not actually being restrained by a Playstation One's issues. I just really loved the process of making the outfit and character in this game and honestly that alone is a potential game seller. The gameplay element was solid and I really want to play more of this.

Beastieball

BeastieBall seems to be a really fun take on the Monster Taming genre. Having the monster friends play a sport and naturally be inclined to play the sport makes for a very cute and wholesome premise to which you become more a coach than an owner to these little cuties. It's a pretty simple concept in the demo but it's promising and cute and I do like that the monsters you collect build relationships with each other, I think that is something really special and neat and something I'd like to see more monster tamers do.

Love In A Bottle

There is a lot of nice looking visual novels coming out but Love In A Bottle is dating sim that is really capturing my eye. You play as a demon girl, bam okay I am sold. You date other monster girls okay I'm sold. And it's got more then the basic one outfit you expect from a standard visual novel dating sim type deal for characters that is yet another sold factor. It seems really cute, seems fun and I hope I can smooch all the women at once.

Fantasy Life I

While I said we were done with farming sims, I didn't say we were done with sims as we have Level-5's Life Sim, Fantasy Life. I won't be buying the game if I can't be gay in it but I really loved the first Fantasy Life on the 3DS and I think if it can keep up the charm and fun of the original game and add a homosexual seasoning on top it'll be a perfect cute and fun time. I love the wide array of jobs and how these all build into each other, it's a very one of a kind experience and really fun.

Princess Peach Showtime

This is the true triple A game of the list and the only one that has captivated me in all the shows of all the consoles and developers I've seen of late. Peach is barbie now and I am here for it, let her have a million jobs and have a game based around her doing these different roles and being an icon in each of them, sounds good, I'm in, it's a really cute and fun concept. It looks really fun and the art style looks great.

Our Life Now and Forever

There is no other games like the Our Life games and getting to be sapphic in this one means I finally get to go ahead and experience the series I have been curious about for a while now. This game will let you be polyamarous which is the only game on this list I can say for sure will allow you to do that and that alone is something that would keep me engaged. However, getting to grow up with characters, change your pronouns, your name, anything about yourself as you do and having the characters change with you is amazing. I love the concept of this game and the wild reactivity the games demo has always provided just to a simple thing like me choosing to be trans in the childhood phase is amazing, it is truly such a considered and thoughtful game with such masterful crafting that the act one demo alone is probably worth money. So I did back this one on kickstarter as well so this is my other pick up.

Unlike other games on this list I am fairly confident this is a 2025 game and not a 2024 game but I want to talk about it now because people on the Patreon will be getting to play updated versions of the game over the course of the year akin to early access. I think the game is for sure worth a look.

Izrand Allure

After playing the previous game in the series I am totally sold on wanting to experience Izrand Allure. Luxaren Allure was a really special experience I had this year finally checking out the game after I think years of putting it off and beating it I really want to play this follow up. This game seems far more in depth and far more artistically masterful then Luxaren as well so I really want to see everything this game has to offer. I love a good job system and this game boasts one. I really want to see this lesbian RPG and I hope I get a chance to play it very soon but obviously Unity the dev should take her time to make it. Regardless, I am just gushing every time I see the game and I think this has potential to be a massive game of the year type hit for me.

If you enjoyed this post, I got a lot more end of the year lists coming up when it's actually next year so I can tell people what I enjoyed in December. You can also support me in making cool queer art by checking out my Patreon and Ko-fi.

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kanmom51 · 1 year ago

Note

This is not written to or about you. In your mind's voice please read it as I am speaking to and about the people who have written some excited rants. I like your site a lot and like your perspectives on JiKook topics. I am hoping, if nothing else, it might inspire a conversation for you. I wasn't sure where to share it since I am new to Tumblr and really don't plan to be a big poster.

================The thoughts==============

Some 'fans' and foes are losing their minds over Jimin participating in a song as a feature artist that has multiple performers, one of whom has - according to the conversations - done horrible things and has a bad reputation. However, many of these same people were not as concerned about Jungkook who performed in Qatar that has huge human rights violations and controversies. Qatar has been doing this for much longer and harming many more groups of people. The information is easy to research. Yet these same people and others have no problem supporting a KPop industry that exploits underage people with excessive work and sexual behavior. The very industry they support has had its own sexual abuse scandals and unfortunate suicide incidents, but yet they are now out of sorts about supporting Jimin with this song. I'm not in any way defending the rapper, if the information is confirmed to be true, and I am not saying it wouldn't be wise for Jimin to be aware of who he is working with, but he likely recorded a song in an isolated studio and didn't even meet the performers he was singing with. He would not work in this industry if he based his choices on only working with saintly people who never did wrong things or only behaved in ways that were perfect. As an aside, I don't know the personal behaviors of any of the other people on the song. I just don't understand the hypocrisy and the emotional tantrums people are having without thinking through information, much less looking at their own lives to see if they would have trouble being held to the same standards they hold BTS, but apparently Jimin in particular, to. If you are not who I am referring to with the descriptions above, feel free to disregard these thoughts. No need to be offended if you are not anyone referenced here.

Thanks for your time, Kanmom51. Keep up the good work.

I'm actually with you on this one @jimin-bangtan .

The hypocrisy in this fandom hits me every single time.

Let's start With Kodak Black why don't we?

Born 1997, now 25 yo man. Not without controversy around him, he has been involved in several illegalities in the past.

I will say this and be loud and clear: KB is NOT a nice person.

He's been involved in drug and illegal arms offenses and beyond the charges I will talk about below, the reason people are up in arms about the collab, he has been said to get rough with women. In my books he's a douche, and if he ever raises his hand at a woman he needs to pay the price for it. Period.

But the main issue that has people upset about is his rape charges. people screaming about how can JM be collaborating with a rapist.

So, let's make one thing clear here.

KB IS NOT A CONVICTED RAPIST.

Plain and simple.

Well not so simple, because the legal system (law) and justice are two different things, at times intertwine and at times travel on parallel lines that never meet.

It actually goes both ways - people that literally get away with murder on the one hand and innocent people that have their lives ruined by wrongfully charged or convicted on the other.

But the legal system, as flawed as it is, is what we have.

Why this long winded explanation?

Well because KB was accused he raped a high school student in Feb 2016. He was charged for it in October 2017.

But 5 years later the prosecution reached a plea deal with him, the sex offenses were dropped (not even being accused of statutory rape, which is having consensual sex with a minor) and he was convicted of assault and battery and received a suspended sentence and probation.

I know this feels a little technical, but it is super important to make these distinctions. He was accused of rape but not convicted of it.

It is what it is.

He is a douche but he is not a convicted sex offender douche.

And if we are already talking about douches and problematic musicians, it's funny how everyone seems to wake up with these complaints and criticism when it involves JM.

Why is that? I ask myself.

Where were those people when Hobi was collabing with Crush? Where were they when BTS collabed with Snoop Dogg? Do I even bring up all the scandals he was involved in?

The above mentioned is merely an example of some of Snoop Dogg's issues.

Nothing, silence, you could hear a pin fall. Well, actually, not really. Because of all of the cheers and screams of joy that were heard when that collab was announced. Funny. Or not really.

And let's think about the examples in this ask why don't we?

JK doing the song for the Qatar games, well that didn't go without scrutiny. There were voices of criticism sounded, but those voices pretty much died down and at the end of the day, the song and JK as well, received the full support from the fandom.

And the K-pop industry?

"Yet these same people and others have no problem supporting a KPop industry that exploits underage people with excessive work and sexual behavior. The very industry they support has had its own sexual abuse scandals and unfortunate suicide incidents, but yet they are now out of sorts about supporting Jimin with this song."

Say it louder for the people in the back!!!

YG just announced their new girl group. Guess how old the youngest member is?

13 yo.

As much as that is a favourite Jikook number, it sure isn't an appropriate age for a child to debut with a girl group in an industry that sexualises young girls the way it does. And it's not that the others are much older either.

Cookie someone?

So yeah, we all need to be conscious of our choices. Who we listen to, where our money goes, who and what we support. And it's ok to criticise our faves, I'd even go as far as to say it's our duty to do so. But a. it's a case to case basis, meaning circumstances matter (which means what the level of involvement is with that person, for example); and b. let's not be hypocrites here. Let's not have double standards. If we feel it's wrong to collab with a problematic rapper, that standard applies not only to JM but to every other member of the band and the band as a whole.

Period.

#ask

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waitmyturtles · 1 year ago

Text

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Lovely Writer and BL Gets Meta On BL (and Everything Else) Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I write about Tee Bundit's Lovely Writer, a drama that I was SURPRISINGLY and wonderfully taken by.]

Lovely Writer is in the Old GMMTV Challenge due to the very strong recommendations of @shortpplfedup, and dear NiNi -- I can't thank you enough for recommending it, because 1) it was a PHENOMENAL SHOW, I enjoyed it immensely, and 2) it dealt with a whole bunch of stuff that's extremely pertinent not only to the development and coverage of the Thai television BL genre by way of macro commentary -- but it also didn't hesitate to cover the kinds of discriminations that the queer community faces inside and outside the entertainment industries of Thailand and the world.

Before I delve into this, allow me a quick few words on Tee Bundit, the creator of the Lovely Writer drama (and the man behind two shows airing right now, in Hidden Agenda and I Feel You Linger In the Air). I've now watched three Tee shows: my first Tee show was TharnType, of which I had many feelings. While TharnType is first and foremost thought of as a MAME show, I felt the show was bad enough to need to hold any other folks involved with it accountable. I understand from BL fanon lore that Tee may have created Lovely Writer in part to offer macro commentary about the problems he faced making TharnType and how shipper fans responded to it and how they respond to BLs in general.

If you're a regular reader of this space, you'll know that I watched my second Tee show, Step By Step, *before* watching Lovely Writer, which was a mistake in hindsight -- I definitely should have tried to watch Lovely Writer first, to get a sense of how AMAZING Tee's filmmaking work could be. I had not at all the same feelings about Step By Step -- the 180-degree opposite feelings, in fact. Step By Step was so wildly bad, so unmoored, incomplete, and messy, it made at least the story structure of TharnType look good.

Finally, I acknowledge that I'm not watching Hidden Agenda, and I *am* watching I Feel You Linger In the Air, which I am enjoying very much, if not for my smell test being very active about the editing foibles that I was made aware of during SBS. (But @lurkingshan has hipped me to the fact that historical dramas, of which IFYLITA is one, is meant to have slower pacing -- and Tee, at least, is utterly killing it on the cinematography and scenery alone of IFYLITA, which is making it enjoyable for me.)

So, with all that said, at least from my perspective, Lovely Writer is Tee's top anomaly of the dramas of his that I've watched so far.

Lovely Writer, man. It was a sharp, well-paced, extremely layered, and ultra-critical examination of BL media, shipper fandom, capitalism, internalized and externalized homophobia, intergenerational trauma, family acceptance, and a whole lot more.

Let me break down why I think Lovely Writer succeeded and why I think it's such an important show to have on the OGMMTVC list:

1) The macro commentary on the structure of the BL media world, from novels to dramas, to marketing and fandom, to the exploration of the actors' private lives, is absolutely necessary for any serious BL fan to watch and digest,

2) The inclusion of intergenerational trauma by way of internalized and externalized homophobia was deftly depicted,

3) The acting itself was superb and met the level of talent needed to tell this complicated story, and

4) The commentary on the "work" of the BL world is a subject that had already received attention in other dramas that were indirectly referenced in Lovely Writer in an utterly brilliant way,

and I might come up with even more reasons to celebrate this show as I pen this review.

The ultimate reason why I loved Lovely Writer was that it never lost sight of what I saw as its overarching message: how discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community is mean and entirely useless in all aspects, and how this discrimination is woven in insidious ways in almost every detail of our everyday lives.

By the time of Lovely Writer's airing in 2021, we are five years -- ONLY FIVE YEARS! -- ahead of SOTUS's airing as the first holistic Thai television BL. SOTUS began the process of establishing tropes and conventions, and fell in line with Love Sick and Make It Right in establishing ships -- to the extent of the creation of the first blockbuster ship in KristSingto. Between 2016 and 2021, we have the creation of other blockbuster ships (MaxTul, PerthSaint, TayNew, OffGun), we have shows that buck the BL trope trend (He's Coming To Me, A Tale of Thousand Stars), we have shows that decentralize romance (Manner of Death), we have the creation of the prestige cinematic BL genre (ITSAY and IPYTM), and we have shows that flirt with, for the BL genre, new storytelling structures that hadn't been seen when the genre was born, namely historical flashbacks that gave a cinematic feel to its final products (Until We Meet Again, ATOTS).

Lovely Writer was a pandemic-era show, airing after the incredible success of 2gether and Still 2gether (2020), and that success -- the insane burgeoning of awareness around BL in that moment -- along with Tee's experience in making TharnType, and seeing the hype around TharnType -- likely fed his desire to make incredibly smart commentary about what he was seeing by way of capitalistic interaction with the genre, and, maybe more importantly, how these capitalistic demands were actually affecting real people, including himself, in the process of the creation of this material.

What I loved the absolute MOST about Lovely Writer was the parallel story of insidious homophobia within and emanating out of the media world -- and how that insidious homophobia was ultimately presented next to stories of internalized and externalized homophobia on personal, interpersonal, and familial levels. Bua, Gene's book editor, wants hotter and more explicit sex scenes. The director of Bad Engineer wants, needs, Nubsib and Aoey to emanate attraction and heat. The fans of Bad Engineer (Lovely Writer's show-within-a-show) demand ship after ship -- SibAoey and SibGene -- and become poisonous online if their fantasies aren't catered to. But Gene and Nubsib, as an actual queer pair, cannot be out and together publicly. In fact, not only are studios wary of fan rejection of Nubsib and Bad Engineer itself -- but it's also presented that Aoey's career depends on Nubsib faking a relationship with Aoey, to Aoey's crushing recognition.

What the media world assumes is that fans want an arm's length away from the reality of queer relationships and queer sex. I posited in my 2gether review that that's exactly why 2gether was so immensely popular in real life: 2gether gave fans an illusion that two men could successfully be shipped together, without any depictions of actual intimacy to make the fans feel uncomfortable -- especially if those fans held implicit and/or explicit bias against queer people. (As @bengiyo has written in the past: when queer love gets "too real" for fans -- fans turn. In Ben's words: audiences don't like gay people.) (It's always important to note that out actors, like Fluke Natouch, Earth Katsamonnat, and Bruce Sirikorn, are far less popular actors than the majority cishet GMMTV stable of actors. Fluke Natouch only recently -- in 2023! -- had his first solo fan meeting.)

What Lovely Writer highlighted, in its macro criticism of the BL industry and what this industry has spawned, is the utter hypocrisy of the media world leveraging queer themes and ideas for the sake of selling content, while keeping an arm's length with queer reality. As CNN wrote about gay idols in the K-pop industry, so in the Thai BL industry can a career be wildly and negatively affected if an actor comes out. For the sake of Nubsib's career as his show, Bad Engineer, aired within the Lovely Writer universe -- Gene broke up with him.

And this was presented alongside three family stories -- Gene's, Nubsib's, and Aoey's -- of discrimination and rejection of sons being gay. Gene having a queer revelation vis à vis Nubsib, and being courageous enough to bring his admission home, only to face hypocritical rejection, and then hesitant acceptance, from a father that had been discriminated against in his own past for his own queerness. Nubsib faced incredulous resistance from his parents, specifically in regard to how his parents' careers would be affected by having a gay celebrity son. And Aoey was rejected by his family for his career choice in acting in BL shows while being gay himself -- to the extent of getting kicked out of his parents' home.

From my dear friend @lurkingshan -- another Lovely Writer stan, hey gurl -- I understood that Aoey's storyline affected a lot of Bruce Sirikorn's fans (and I am super-duper glad that the one glowing part of Step By Step, the character of Chot, was embodied by a glorious Bruce). Man, did Bruce ever EAT his role of Aoey, depicting the heartbreaking insidiousness of internalized homophobia. We think he's after Nubsib -- but he needs to chase Nubsib for the sake of keeping up his BL career. We find out that Aoey is attracted to Gene -- but Gene is already managing the complicated realities of his relationship with Nubsib, and must deflect Aoey's repeated flirtations attempts. I saw the show setting up Aoey as a despicable character, but my heart broke for him: as he was rejected by his family, he had only the ephemeral acceptance of his fans who were only interested in his potential to be shipped in fantasy with his co-worker.

Alongside Aoey's story of internalized homophobia was that of Gene's father -- which gutted me. (Nu Surasak, who played Gene's father and was also the teachers' foundation head in ATOTS -- damn, he is a HELL of an actor.) Gene's father simply did not want Gene to be gay, because Gene's father himself had experienced queer discrimination as a young man. And we saw how Gene's father's internalized homophobia nearly ripped his family apart.

And then, Gene's father HIMSELF demonstrates a process of behavioral change, when he begins to RELATE to where Gene is coming from in his love for Nubsib. I gotta admit: I did not see this coming. Not just Gene being so brave to come out so openly to his family, but to demonstrate that PARENTS can change, in such a visceral way. This was so meaningful to me in part because many of our BLs today show parents that automatically accept their sons -- without a process of change and acceptance happening before our eyes.

And THEN: how Gene's father came to Gene's side when Gene decided to leave Nubsib for the sake of Nubsib's career. And how Gene's father related, tear by tear, emotion by emotion, to everything Gene was going through.

WHAT A DECISION TO INCLUDE THIS STORYLINE. To have a PARENT embody a story of THEIR OWN queer revelation? @bengiyo has written before about the importance of queer elders in our beloved shows -- and while Gene's father presents a more complicated reality than out-elders, the fact that Gene's dad could holistically RELATE to EVERYTHING Gene was going through was truly remarkable to watch.

(I want to note that if you didn't know, there is a movie-length Lovely Writer special episode. It's structured around Nubsib wanting to surprise Gene for his birthday. The middle part is somewhat incomprehensible -- hi, Tee -- but the ending wraps up Gene's father's total acceptance of Gene's and Nubsib's relationship in a gorgeous way. I highly recommend finding it if you haven't watched it.)

Lovely Writer's very complicated storyline -- from Gene writing a novel, to Nubsib filming a show, to Gene and Nubsib's childhood, to Aoey's interventions, to Gene and Nubsib's families, to the fans, to the studios and managers (ZORZO!!!!), to EVERYTHING this show held -- could not have worked if Up Poompat and Kao Noppakao didn't hold it together. They were the fucking GLUE to this story. THESE DUDES ATE. Step By Step did NOT allow me to appreciate Up's SCOPE. (I mean, Put was TOTALLY intolerable, and Up did him fantastically, but Gene was just, WHOA.) I just need to give them their flowers, because I loved Kao in Until We Meet Again, but I did NOT appreciate how capable he was at very intricate storytelling as a main lead.

I want to wrap this up by noting that Lovely Writer was not the first show to offer macro commentary about the BL industry. Cheewin Thanamin (who made a HILAAAARIOUS cameo in Lovely Writer as a press conference host, I was HOOTING) offered commentary on BL actors in YYY, where one actor tells another actor, this is a job, and we have to do this to get paid. War of Y, another Cheewin show, also gets into this. As we recall, Step By Step also attempted to offer macro commentary about ships and the BL industry -- to the morbid extent that that criticism was edited out after ZeeNew fans raised protests.

I love it when media comments on media -- the hypocrisies, the vagaries, the capitalist realities. For the Flukes, Earths, and Bruces that are out: we don't know how many more actors are in the closet, out of fear for the sake of their careers. Lovely Writer forces fans -- the BL fandom -- to reckon with the hypocrisies of watching queer media, and of accepting queer realities vs. only being accepting of queer fantasies that do not otherwise challenge heterosexual power. Queer joy is joy. What Lovely Writer did for Gene and Nubsib was to center and highlight that joy, and to show that they, together, could surmount the ridiculous obstacles of the demands of media and capitalism, to allow their love to thrive and grow. What a story. I want and hope that Tee Bundit can demonstrate this SHARP critical eye on his work again in his future.

[Alright! Next one up: my review of Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You The Moon. What a turn from I Told Sunset About You. I love relationship-growth stories, and IPYTM was one of the very highest order.

I mentioned previously that I may need to take a week or two off from the OGMMTVC due to some insane life shit happening at the moment (FML, MOVING). I've been coping by letting myself fall a little behind on shows. I’ve paused on Not Me, to give it the attention it deserves. But I will be picking it up again soon, very slowly, and I’ve very much enjoyed what I’ve seen so far. After Not Me, I hope to be settled enough in to start in on my usual faster pace to get through 55:15 Never Too Late, for more macro commentary -- this time, from GMMTV itself, on the BL industry.

And then onto my long-awaited Bad Buddy and Our Skyy 2 rewatch. I'm having some seriously fantastic and in-depth conversation with a few Tumblr friends about how BBS has impacted us, and I can't wait to bring them into my big-brained posting moment about re-watching Bad Buddy and offering some insights into our conversation.

List below! As usual, feedback welcome, etc. (Tumblr's new web editor is jacking with this list and not letting strikethrough what I've watched. For the very latest list, please click here!)

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review coming) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review coming) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 43) Only Friends (2023)]

#lovely writer #lovely writer meta #meta on meta #bl meta #tee bundit #step by step #up poompat #kao noppakao #bruce sirikorn #turtles catches up with old gmmtv #turtles catches up with thai BLs #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #cheewin thanamin #yyy

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