#I'm an old

[ktempestbradford]

It hit me just today that the dude I watched run around like a goofball on TV some time ago has near-grown children with one of the people he was running around like a goofball with. I witnessed them fall for each other (well, kinda). That was... just a few years back, surely? Not long enough for them to make multiple whole humans and raise them, surely?

This is worse than when I opened Disney+ the other day and was attacked by a banner telling me to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the Lion King. How very dare they!

[scarcelyodd]

It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[adickaboutspoons]

Hi! Not to sound too ignorant here, but can I ask about the "certain cultural connotations of a slight blond boy who has been lashed to wooden rails and bludgeoned because he's queer" that you mentioned in your tags re: the post about Stede's childhood abuse? I can't seem to make the right connection ^^'

no worries - you're not ignorant. I mean, I didn't even mention the specific culture to which I was alluding. What I was referencing was the murder of Matthew Shepard in 1998.

[queer-bi-cliche]

I dislike greatly when fandoms become a jerk off circle around the real people playing in the fandom.

This is currently targeted at the Critical Role/Dimension 20 crowd but you know what? All fandoms. Keep it in your pants, people. Do I understand being attracted to them? Sure and same. But the amount of drooling over people who are definitely not there for that disturbs me.

I'd like to be excluded from this narrative.

[tehloserprince]

is your username misspelled or was the ‘teh’ an artistic choice, or does it stand for something else

It's intentional, ha ha. It used to be a thing, back when I was in college. The "loser prince" is a Katamari Damacy reference, and my bff @dcderringer using it to refer to me a few times (also in college).

My Tumblr account is pretty old, so it reflects a time when I was using this username across multiple platforms. I still use some variations of it for gaming, and sometimes I'll "claim" the username in other places, but these days, I'm using a few different screen names.

Suppose I could change this one, but I kinda like the nostalgia of it for now. Makes me smile.

[christinegrrl]

My blog turned 11 today!

[fluffynexu]

what does gpoy mean

imma show my age with this answer, but it means Gratuitous Picture of Yourself

which... basically is saying "it me" or "lol relatable"

a tumblr friend back in the 2010s suggested that i make gpoy a tag on my blog, and i've been too lazy to change it since :'D

[archangelbeth]

*reads another thing with labeling someone as a "chad"*

...I'm sorry, kids, I'm sorry. I went to school with a Chad. He was, uh... Not a jock? I mean, a nice kid, seemed reasonably compassionate for a boy in the 80s, had some homelife difficulties. But people seem to be saying that "chads" are... jocks? Or something? Superior to... something else?

And I keep thinking of my former classmate in the 80s, and I hope he's having a good life, but wow, at that age, he was definitely not the meme.

•dodders off to go be Old•

[hypertechnica]

is this anything

[tyanis]

Kinda feel like there's some untapped meme/reaction image potential from old horror movie trailers...

[archangelbeth]

(I, an Old, only wish I was some sort of alien species. Preferably one without crappy knees.)

y'all need to stop being weird about people's ages. The sooner you stop thinking of people over 30 as some sort of alien species, the better your life will be

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[shinobicyrus]

Why do you need your earbuds to have a wire so badly?

I am assuming this is about a post I reblogged like six months ago when I went off on forced technological enshitification and the slow erosion of consumer options. But sure, I'll bite.

Why do I "need" my earbuds to have a wire? I dunno, Anon, maybe I:

Don't want to have to worry about recharging my earbuds.

Don't want my earbuds to be even easier to lose.

Don't want my earbuds to need separate accessories that are as easy to lose as the earbuds.

Prefer to have bluetooth turned off on my devices for security and safety reasons.

Like being able to seamlessly plug my earbuds into my computer, my MP3 player, or any other device with a headphone jack.

Don't want to spend 50 dollars on decent wireless earbuds when I can do all the above things with a pair of solid earbuds that cost me like $12 during the Obama administration.

Don't care about what kinds of headphones or earbuds people wear but don't like what it says about our society when other people apparently care what kind of earbuds I'm wearing so much they have send an Anonymous ask to interrogate me about it.

And I guess, more abstractly, because fuck Apple. That's why.

[symphonyofsilence]

Let the poor man rest.

[annalyticall]

My new favorite excuse for not jumping on new trends or bandwagons is 'I'm 30.' No more explanation needed because anyone under 30 just thinks I'm old and everyone over 30 understands implicitly

[kayiiin]

Trying out styles