#I'm always panicking
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Style swap! I wasn't sure what to do for Pavitr so I panicked
#I mean#I'm always panicking#in retrospect I think Pav would have looked cool in Gwen's style#oh well#atsv#spiderman#kingpin's suit is unquantifiable in weight#a blackhole#it’s made of lead so he’s protected from bullets lol#miles morales#spider gwen#pavitr prabhakar#hobie brown#atsv pavitr#fanart#john ohnn#king pin
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been chewing on this conversation between pearl and gem this week:
Gem: I know you didn't kill me!
Pearl: So what are you cranky about?
...
Gem: I'm just- you know, I wanted some drama! So, this is the drama, you're welcome.
Pearl: "This is the drama". You're telling me we could've been friends this whole time but you're just like "yoohoohoohoohoohoohoo... I hate you!"
Gem: Yeah, I mean, why not!
and i'm connecting it to gem in empires season 2, where like. in the context of the fiction everyone else had been living in that world their whole lives and that's their reality, like, it's real to them.
and meanwhile gem is just roleplaying. like, she was a being from another world who just came there because she wanted to play at being a human princess for a while. and then when she's called away she's just like. anyway i was never actually a princess or a mortal being from this dimension and we're never gonna see each other again, sorry for the existential crisis, bye!
and anyway i think she has a similar deal in the life series. like, everyone else is there because they're trapped in the Torment Nexus, gem is there because she wants to be.
#life series#wild life#geminitay#i mean all the hermits on empires had EXTREMELY Fey Vibes but the way gem spins it is like.......#I Am Chewing On It.#and this conversation has me like. i've connected the two dotssss#i gotta watch her secret life before i totally go off on this#but i'm also thinking of her general attitude about people trying to kill her in wild life#where she's just sort of like. humoring them. but also she would love it if they killed her! because then *she* gets to kill people!#like. it just doesn't *matter* as much to her#vs joel who deals with the wild cards just as well as her but is still always running around panicking about *something*#see the difference in how they react to everyone blowing up joel's car vs cleo burning down gem's barn#and team 4G also being called sweats this session and they are generally very good at the game#but everything matters Extremely A Lot to them. see: cleo burning down gem's barn#this isn't really going anywhere specific but i am thinking about it So Much
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List of canon / Beast parallels that make my cry:
These are not the only mirroring panels in those scenes; but something about this specifically, about the way they turn their backs in the same way, the alike way of holding their phones, how their thoughts form the same words, hits me so hard. Being so close in everything, in the little, in the mundane, despite literally belonging to differnet universes. Something something whatever souls are made of theirs are the same.
#The way Atsushi's so panicked and Akutagawa so calm... I'm obsessed.#The way it's the perfect opposite to how they behave in battle and with each other‚ with Akutagawa always losing his cool–#and acting all passionate and emotional while Atsushi is almost cold.#It's interesting...#atsushi nakajima#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd ch 02#bsd beast#mine#q.#12/05/23
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It's always funny to me when in an lu fic the chain is offered bananas and don't accept them. Like, you're offering these high energy adventures free food?? Fruit they'll have never even heard of before??? A ridiculously expensive imported good at best?? AND it boosts your attack?
Not ONE of these idiots would ever turn down something new and interesting to eat at least once. They'd be all over those bananas and immediately get dubbed yiga and I'm honestly surprised no one has used it in a fic yet 🤭
#I know it's for plot reasons but it really shows the author's hand lol. 'just a quick bit of standard suspicion now move along we have more#Interesting things to do'#Again I get it it's always funny to see them fail the vibe check and get plied with a random fruit#There could be a fake out where they ask for the bananas and while everyone's panicking they go 'I've never had one before I'd love to try'#Or someone brings up kohga and they're like who???#But you could make a whole fic out of the chain getting mistaken for yiga and getting chased out of everywhere that's heard the news#And them travelling around trying to clear their name when they don't even know what happened.#Heck maybe they figure it out when the yiga mistake then in disguise too XD!#Also featuring as many Wild assassination attempts as you want. Like he's hunting them down but he travels faster than news#Spreads so he's rarely on time and can't set traps#And the 8 of them keep fending him off but he's really got the upper hand and DEEPLY unhappy#I'm just saying it'd make for some EXCELLENT scenes and I know y'all in the LU fandom like your misunderstandings#The chain strolling along in faron like yum these are delicious we gotta stock up while we're here#And in the tree above them wilds eye's twitching#loz#legend of zelda#linked universe#lu wild#lu chain#loz fic#fic ideas#fic prompt#loz link#loz lu#yiga clan
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So I was rereading your lore on witches in your riddledeep au and um.
Would this technically make Dev a witch??? lol. He also freebies a pizza across a digital title card that episode too.
😂 Y'know, it's funny you say that because for the past month, I've been wondering if anyone was going to ask me if Dale or Dev are witches. I don't know why I was wondering that, but it's been clinging to me. I couldn't think of a way to bring up "btw, they're not witches in my work" without it feeling weird.
My witch lore for context
Dale and Dev can specifically not be witches under my lore even if I wanted them to be, even if I were following a headcanon where the Dimmadomes get around the XYZ chromosome sterility through clones, because of something extremely specific that also exists in my lore that I cannot go back on.
Magic Colors
So, I have a whole magic system set up around the colors of magic. There are 6 possible colors in the OG series- 5 of which are represented on the Rainbow Bridge, 4 of which are represented on the Fairy Council, and 2 of which are extremely rare.
I gave the Fairy Elder (namedropped in "Timmy's Secret Wish") yellow robes, thus tying the Fairy Council together.
Each magic color has a meaning associated with the mood or thought pattern behind magic use. I drew my original inspiration from the colors Timmy's brain turns when Poof's controlling his body in "He Poofs, He Scores."
For those interested, my Colors of Magic post (From May 2016, but has screenshots) & my worldbuilding sideblog's post on magic colors (Cleaned-up lore with no pictures). Short version below:
Red is an extremely uncommon magic color, though we see it when Foop is fighting Cosmo and Wanda in "Playdate of Doom" and when Wanda jumpstarts Timmy's heart in "Yoo-Doo." It's the color I associate with life and death magic. So, y'know... Foop is very okay.
There's also indigo (used by Juandissimo in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary"), which I consider a subset of blue.
Green is also extremely rare. Notably, it's the color Foop's magic slowly starts to turn throughout "Scary Godcouple"- He started off with blue, but sours to green in one of the only appearances we see of green in the entire series.
But you know what commonplace color we don't see?
Orange.
In my lore, orange-haired magic users (both Fae and genies) are the equivalent of shiny Pokémon. Even two orange magic-users don't normally have orange offspring- They produce yellows and reds.
And the thing is... I've already set up Happy Peppy Gary to be the only orange witch in my lore. In fact, I have a WIP multi-chapter 'fic about Gary getting discovered by H.P. and Anti-Cosmo, who lose their minds when they realize what he is (Pink and Gray).
Shout-out to one of my favorite dialogue exchanges I've ever written, from H.P. trying to sus Gary out as genie-descended:
H.P. brought his hand up to fiddle with his glasses. "Okay. Completely random get-to-know-you question. By any chance, are you afraid of small spaces?" "Deathly. Why?"
And Dale is Gary's age - in the same city where the Pixies dropped Gary and Betty after taking them in - which means if he WAS an orange witch, he would've been clocked so hard, so fast. Also, since I'm going the route of H.P. being Dale's godfather, there's no way he wouldn't have noticed even though Dale was MIA for years.
Fun Fact! Gary and Juandissimo are "related!" Juandissimo was finger-snapped into existence by Gary's ancestor, Crimsona. He's arguably a great-great-great-great uncle (5 generations up from Gary). In Cloudlands AU, Gary's middle name is actually Juandissimo! That's because Juandissimo's been assigned to godparent to this family several times (We met Gary's dad and grandmother, Quincy and Eunice, in Baby, You're a Rich Man; Sanderson matches Eunice's name to Juandissimo's in Chapter 10 while looking through godkid files).
Anyway, I COULD have witch genes passed down through Dev's mom's side of the family (Leadlys in my headcanon), but that comes with its own issues: if Leadly had XYZ chromosomes, he can't have Hadley, and I'm not going back on that. I could make his wife a witch, but that STILL has issues.
In my 'fics I play Ed Leadly as a guy who's looking for magical creatures (hence him being willing to drop 17 million dollars on someone else's dog in "Dog Gone"). I have literally shown him onscreen holding a witch-detecting compass that points to Gary (in "Opportunity"). There is no way he would not have clocked his ex as a witch, sldkfj...
Closing Comments
Dale and Dev are some of the only characters in my universe who are absolutely confirmed to not be witches, despite how much I have actually wondered if it would be fun to portray them as such.
I don't have a lore reason for the visual gags in that episode- I sadly have to clock it up to random cartoon silliness akin to Jenkins exploding into pieces when Jasmine sings in "Fly" (or Hazel also falling apart or exploding when people expressed crushes on her in "Multiverse of Jenkins").
In my lore, I actually do have Gary set up to be able to pass his witch powers to people he kisses (Because I thought it would be funny if that's why Betty is taller in some scenes than others; yes, I am that pedantic and it makes Betty's "But I don't like you like that" line exponentially funnier), but I've established that only genie-descended witches can pass powers... That doesn't make sense for Dev in this episode either.
Technically all the fluids can pass magic, so a blood transfusion would make Dev "a permanent false witch" if I wanted to do that, but I'm not gonna bother when again, we have people exploding in this show as a gag. Cursed gags I cannot touch with lore 😔
If anyone else makes the Dimmadomes witches, I'd be totally down to read that. I think it would be extremely funny if Dale Dimm was also a witch despite sentencing Alden Bitterroot to 350+ years of clawing his way out of Dimmsdale's well for witch crimes, but my AUs have pretty firmly locked Dale and Dev out of that option.
Riddleverse Design Facts
Here's another fun fact for any new followers who don't know I do this: I draw witches with spirals in their hair! Pics under the cut due to length:
Crocker has his in the back and Kevin has his on top!
You could TOTALLY make an argument that Leadly's spiral is in his mustache
Also, it's a very good thing I do this- I joked in the past that Gary and Dev look eerily similar (even sharing lots of body language), so it's nice to have things like freckles and a hair spiral I can fall back on.
I'm VERY happy with my adult Dev design, but I definitely kept freckles and hair spirals away from him, haha. Sneak peek of him next to his mom:
Note- Spiral headcanon excludes H.P., who has a unique family cowlick I gave him before doing this for witches. Poof doesn't count either since he's under Fae Get Alphabet Hair rules:
Whistle and Anti-Whistle [Soren] (at the bottom) are some of my favorite designs... I can't get over his upside-down W hair sldkfj.
But Wanda and Anti-Wanda having completely different Ws is another favorite thing. I'm especially proud of Dusty's little D tuft.
I'm not sure why Smoky ended up with what looks like an F (unless it's a T since he was Talon before Talon was Talon), but I remember doing a lot of designs for him. Sometimes I don't commit to alphabet hair if letters are hard (Soren's top zigzag is meant to be an S, which is a very hard letter to incorporate, and I think I didn't want Smoky and Soren to have the same one). I've been wanting to redesign Smoky a bit, so I'll probably fix it then.
Goldie's is subtle and you can see it better in some drawings than others, but she has M hair because her full name is Marigold :)
I should probably re-add her middle tuft to her official sideblog art, whoops.
Also, if this is how someone is finding out Poof and Foop literally were designed with alphabet hair, I have wonderful news for you. Fun fact, the "Anti-Poof" storyboard portrays Foop with a square spiral instead! It was the final detail of his design.
#Fairly OddParents#FOP Dev#ridwriting#Dale Dimmadome owner of Dimmadome Global#Dev Dimmadome owner of anguish#FAIRIES!#Pink and Gray#Gary and Betty#Big Crock#Little Crock#Long post#screenshots#Purple hippie dragonfly#He Poofs He Scores#Peace of Pizza#A New Wish#apparently art#Dragonfly parents#Golden butterfly girl#Nerdy blue bat son#The best bat queen#The bat with the hat#Dusty was always the best name#Smoky is the other best name#Snazzy sequel son#Panicked sequel son#I'm wasp dad trash#I think that's everyone!#130 Prompts#Nalooksthrough
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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Was just given a bit of attitude about being aromantic by the only people I've told I am aromantic really trying not to hyperventilate here
#already crying#fuck I'm so stupidly emotional I know#sorry I need to vent. Sorry.#it's not my friends' fault they don't get it. it's not their fault. you can't always get stufff#but fuck fuck fuck fuck I need people to respect even the stuff they don't get#especially since they're the only people I have felt safe enough to come out to#so yeah apparently the conceot of an aro being in a a relationship at some point of their lives is pushing it too far#also being aro and not ace is pushing it too far#also clearly joking about wanting to be in a relationship with somebody is pushing it too far#it's fine when the others- who already have partners- do it but when I an aro do it it's pushing it too far#I will delete this later#when I calm down#fuck fuck fuck#delete later#I am sorry for not conforming to the idea of an aro who suddenly throws up at the thoght of a relationship#wait! Actually I am that kind of aro! I just sometimes joke about being in a relationship with people in an hyperbolic manner#and sometimes think it would be interesting to try being in a relationship if I ever find someone that doesn't#physically makes me throw up (BECAUSE IT HAS HAPPENED) or a have a meltdown crying when I think of being in a relationship with them#but I guess that's pushing it too far#I am sorry I am so fucking sorry I dared speaking about relationships#aro#aromantic#panicking#I am so fucking panicking right now
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I assure you that I'm not confident at all and I just go with the flow
I'm an alpha? Because I always considered myself an omega.
you have alpha energy to ME
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An update on Sakura, who when I first got her would panic and blindly flail (sometimes throwing herself into her water dish or other unpleasant things) now coming to me of her own choice when I talk kindly to her.
This is months of work from both of us. She has worked very hard to be brave, and I've been trying very hard to show her that humans can be kind, safe, and good. This moment means so much to me, at one time I wasn't sure we might ever get here.
I won't deny her sister Scoria helped greatly. I've seen her comfort Sakura when she was scared, and Sakura be infinitely more confident with her sister near. Sakura would watch Scoria and me cuddle, and learn by watching her trusted sister.
I hope that with more patience, and love, and consent based interactions we can form a bond too.
No matter what happens though, I will love her and her sister and do anything to be sure they are happy.
#hognose#snake#snakes#hognoses#pets#scoria#sakura#The last pic is when she suddenly slipped off my lap#I caught her and tried to lift her up#but she was... stuck?#I looked and she'd managed to slide into my belt loop#and seemed very proud of herself for it ha ha#when i tried to lift her up#No!#She wanted to stay holstered for a bit ha ha ha#While Scoria and I bonded comparatively quickly and Scoria treats me like a parent snake in many ways#(Like our very strong bond and how affectionate she is as well as following me and staying close to me and even mirroring me)#Sakura has always been much more jumpy and fearful#building a strong sibling bond while not being entirely sure what to make of me#She's always found comfort in my voice#but is terrified of human hands#which makes me think something happened as she doesn't have such a panicked reaction with anything else#I don't know what this little baby went through#But she's with me now and her sister as well#The love and trust will only grow I'm sure#She's safe#And she knows that now
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They always tell you to look out for Friday the 13th, but they never warn you about Monday the 13th
#had an absolute awful shit fucking day today#fiancee got pulled over this morning i spent money i don't really have brother quit his job in the dumbest way possible#we were short staffed at work and everyone had about a billion questions for me or things for me to do so i was Extra Busy all day#because i was the only Book Person on staff and that's always an exciting and fun time#wish my energy levels were like.. consistent. overall I'm doing better lately but idk if I'm like. up to doing regular commissions again#as it is I'm likely going to have to panic job search 🙃#i know I'm panicking over silly things right now but today really just. fucking sucked.
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I might have OCD actually
#idk i can't tell if its ocd or paranoia#but all my life these “share this text to 10 contacts or your mum will die” always made me unreasonably panicked#and more and more because of posts like “donate now or you are a horrible person” make me deeply unwell#i feel so selfish because i know it's not their fault#im not blaming palestinians reaching out for help more like the people who share the posts and then guilt trip everyone#and i really dont wanna block the tags because it'll make me feel even worse and i still want to be informed#i have so many asks pilling up but idk what to do because I'm useless i can't help in anyway i dont have any reach and no money in my name#and i dont wanna close asks because i do enjoy ask games#but also idk what to do#because when i reply its so hard i feel miserable because i can't help but as soon as i reply i get 20 new ones and it's incredibly overwhel#overwhelming#but when i dont answer my brain is screaming at me “if you dont reply your while family will die in a car crash”#and it's a simple mental image to think of the more asks i answer the more i get the more my brain tells me awful things#I'm sorry to any mutual i may have unfollowed because they shared so many guilt tripping posts i genuinely can't do it anymore#and i feel terrible#and I don't wanna leave Tumblr because it's my only social platform left lmao and thevother ones are all awful its the inly one i like#I'm just not in the right mental state to constantly see “donate or you dont deserve to live even if youre poor” kinda posts#it's not even triggering its just making my “ocd” worse than it ever was#all day long my brian been telling me “you will die today because you didnt answer the asks!!”#it's genuinely horrible idk what to do and eother way i feel like a piece of shit i feel like i dont have the right to feel this way
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I gotta say thee funniest hollywood trope about women is when labor comes on just like a heart attack. most heart attacks don't even come on like a heart attack.
#i get WHY they do it that way but#come on now#x#girl post#actually I've just realized what really ticks me off about childbirth in media#the baby is always born clean. you never see the umbilical cord. there's no evidence of the placenta.#it's very sanitized in that respect (which I'm fine with)#and yet mom is always screaming/hyperventilating. she can't ever talk unless to abuse her husband or literally beg for an epidural.#and everyone else in the room is either panicked or treating the mom like a horse in a race they've bet a lot of money on.#so the doctor's job is a positive fantasy while the mother's job is a negative fantasy#I'm not saying it should be a walk in the park but geez louise no wonder so many women have a phobia of it
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not to inflict psychic damage on the person reading this but in the halloween episode.... will was really Calling Out for mike fr. he was Screamin like his voice got scratchy he was um. he was so scared :( and he wanted mike :( and um. well. the thing about that is that it makes me want to [REDACTED]
#and mike is out of breath from running and so panicked and so equally as scared that he just GRABS him and takes him home asap i jus .#doesn't even let anyone else check in with will he just takes him away he just takes care of him n holds him himself he jus t. he he he—#and then when will calls out for him and joyce when he's burning alive............ bro i can't do this i need to be sedated right now#THEY!!! ARE SOOOOOOO ....... I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES ABOUT WILL CRAZY TOGETHER IT WAS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE NOT POSSIBLE IT'S#HAWKINS ITS NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU YOU'RE THE HEART YOU GIVE ME THE COURAGE TO FIGHT ON YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE#I'M NOT A MISTAKE AT ALL I NEED YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL WE HAVE TO KILL HIM WE WILL /WE WILL/#BITES AND SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS UNTIL MY VOICE CRACKS N GOES HOARSE N WRITHES IN AGONY AND CRIES AND#god. i need to go to bed i can't i . the homosexuals got to me bro they got me!!!!!!
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not the plane security dude making me repack my liquids and cosmetics in his shitass one centimeter sized ziploc bag that doesn't fit shit as if i am not a freak who calculated everything three times to make sure it does lot exceed the limits and worried about it for a long time .. when he spared no mind to my friends who had a similar sized looking bag .. like why do you hate me personally
#also i'm a control freak i needed those things he made me throw away .. i could've full well started panicking over not having it#also i follow the rules always i research everything and then he doesn't care about the people who just dgaf 🤷#okkk i'm already so tired whateveeeeer i wish i just stayed home to read a meatbun yaoi#00
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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#I wish i could understand why seeing my girlfriend and spending time with her has me so stressed out and anxious#it's so not normal and it makes me feel sooooo freaking bad#today i understood that we could only see each other from 11am to 2pm-ish and when she told me she could stay until 4:30pm i just panicked#and guess what? it's 2pm and she's gone because I felt sick and tired and I had things to do#and I just know me feeling sick is directly related to the whole situation#i hate it and i hate that I don't understand why I feel like this#it's gonna be 3 months in a week that we've been together and I never spent one time with her without feeling super anxious#it's not even that I don't enjoy spending time with her because I do#i just always feel super anxious about it and i'm in my head the entire time#whyyyyyy ?#pia's oversharing
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