#I'm also sick of having this conversation with people

[sting-rey22]

Yes, these things should be standard, but I'm also sick of the idea that many (well-meaning) activists keep pushing that "accessibility" is some concrete and tangible goal, when in reality, true accessibility is situational, adaptive, and subjective. Many disabled people have conflicting support needs (e.g., the beeping of a wheelchair ramp being lowered may cause someone with syncope disorder to faint). Of course, braille menus, ASL interpreters, elevators, ramps, etc. should be standard and do generally make spaces more accessible, there is no way to predict everyones support needs which may be fluid, situational, or conflicting with others in the sapce, and that accessibility is more so a process and a conversation than a checklist.

TLDR: "Accessibility should be the standard" is, imo, a misguided statement.

[boy-gender]

I'm a cis dude, seeing Trans people irl makes my heart flutter even if I'm not attracted to them.

Is that chasing?

No it's not! Being attracted to trans people is not the same as chasing.

Chasing, like all fetishization, involves dehumanizing* the target without their consent. It's seeing trans people not as people, but a collection of poles, holes, and assumptions that the chaser can use for their sexual gratification without giving a shit about the boundaries or autonomy of the trans person. Its when you treat trans people as a mirror to reflect your own sexual desires, not as complex autonomous people who youre attracted to. Let me give some examples:

Not chasing: I see a beautiful woman and am attracted to her. I find out she happens to be trans. I'm still equally as attracted to her as I was before. It is coincidence that she is trans.

Also not chasing: I am attracted to gender nonconforming people, that is my type, and a lot of those people are trans people. I am attracted to the way trans people bend, break, play with, and express gender, and that makes many of them attractive to me.

Chasing: Oh sick, a trans man. Im going to impregnate that subby bottom after I pound that boypussy all night.

Now, there are a lot of things wrong with the above statement. It starts by making a lot of assumptions- 1 this person is a trans man and all trans men are the same so they 2 must have a vagina 3 be submissive 4 want to be the receiver of vaginal penetrative sex 5 they can become pregnant and 6 this is what their genitalia is called. The chaser in this situation sees trans people as an amalgamation of stereotypes they think are hot- vagina, submissive, penetrative bottom, fertile.

The chaser never stops to wonder- could this trans man be post-bottom surgery and have a penis? Could they be a dominant in bed? Are they interested in being the penetrator vs the penetrated, if theyre interested in penetration at all? Do they have a lot of feelings about pregnancy and the assumption they can be pregnant? Could that be a triggering topic or incorrect assumption? How do they refer to their own body parts and how do we communicate about what theyd like those parts to be called? How do we have conversations about boundaries before we have sex, if they want to have sex with me?

A chaser doesnt see the object of their desire- literal object, here- as a person with thoughts and opinions and boundaries. As someone with differences from stereotypes about trans people. They see trans people as an erotic monolith- always the same, always sexually available, and always wanting to be exactly what the chaser desires them to be. They dont account for the person in trans people, the person who may have totally different desires, boundaries, and ideas to communicate.

This is the difference between a chaser and someone whos is attracted to trans people: you must remember the people part. If youre treating trans possible-sexual partners as whole people, who can consent and discuss and remove consent and have their own desires and belong to a group of people with huge anatomical, sexual, and personal variety, then you are not a chaser my friend.

You just have good taste.

Also, anon, you may want to spend some time thinking about why seeing trans people makes you so excitable, even/especially when it isnt sexual attraction. Is it because youre cis but also queer, and their presence reassures you that things are safe? Do you admire them? What is it about them you admire? Are those qualities you wish you had in yourself? Is it possible that the presence of trans people excites you because you could be questioning your gender, but maybe havent been ready to admit that to yourself yet? Is the excitement actually aspiration to be like them? I'm not saying youre trans and dont realize it, Im saying that when our brains keep returning to certain trains of thought, its helpful to dig deeper and find out why we're so fascinated. It could be any number of answers to those questions, but its the *asking* of it all that helps us. Give it a shot when you have some time and see if something else may be there. Might be, might not, and either way is okay. Youre still not being a chaser or a creep. That you even cared enough to ask trans people for their thoughts shows me that you arent dehumanizing them.

*Dehumanization, genderplay, detrans kinks, humiliation kinks, and other similar situations in a risk-aware consensual kink situation is NOT what I'm talking about here, so nobody get that shit twisted.

[crossdressingdeath]

You know what the most frustrating thing about DAV criticism is at the moment? It's that I do in fact have criticisms. Quite a few, actually. It's a Bioware game, of course I have criticisms. No one I've spoken to or whose posts I've seen thinks it's perfect or above criticism. But the thing is, I—and I imagine a lot of other firmly positive blogs—know that if I share any of those criticisms, if I make posts discussing them and talk about the game's flaws, I will immediately be inundated by people using those complaints to insist that the whole game is garbage and the writing is bad and Bioware's a terrible studio who can't make good games and DAI (of all fucking games) was so much better and blah blah blah blah. I know that because it's happened every goddamn time I've made a less-than-positive post about DAV. And I don't have the energy to deal with that! The endless stream of bad faith criticism wears me down and having to constantly stop to defend a game I like when I'm trying to discuss its flaws because if I don't (and frankly half the time even if I do) people will use my posts to claim the whole game is garbage is exhausting, and fandom is supposed to be fun. So I can't discuss DAV's flaws on tumblr if I want to avoid that, and it is infuriating. I see people bitching about toxic positivity and people refusing to acknowledge the game's flaws, and I really want those people to take a second to consider: do the game's fans ignore its flaws and refuse to accept that anything about it is bad? Or have you created an environment that is so toxic that no one who likes the game wants to risk getting your attention by mentioning what's bad about it and they respond more aggressively than is warranted to even genuine critique in an attempt to ward you off? Because there will always be assholes who claim that genuine problems are Fine, Actually, Stop Being Such A Baby... but if people can't address the game's flaws in public without immediately getting dragged into five different arguments about how it is in fact ultimately a really solid game, they're not going to do it no matter how much they recognise those flaws.

[margindoodles2407]

you know. i love both of my uncles dearly. but trying to have a theological conversation with my maternal uncle is so vastly different from having a theological conversation with my paternal uncle that then i'll sit by myself in silence and wonder "how are you BOTH my uncles"

[skrunksthatwunk]

did my first ever used car browsing online and there's a car that's like really good on basically every aspect but the color is fucking NASTY. but ive been evolving a bit around it. and so now im like thinking "okay the bit's funny now but would it be funny in like seven years" kinda stuff

[adore-gregor]

the way i think about learning and education changed sm compared to when I was younger

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[touchmycoat]

for my birthday this year I got a two-day land typhoon, a daoist funeral, a crafts party, three new ferns, a rosemary harvest, and left shoulder pain so bad I was 60% convinced it was a fucking cardiac event 'cause i couldn't fully inhale and the pain radiated up to my jaw lol

[margindoodles2407]

bro haven't you ever had a homie before

[chillllii]

when the audhd is fun until you become "i really really really have to give my input/side/idea and i dont give a fuck who's talking or what everyone was initially talking about" and before this site's illiteracy kicks in i'm certain we're all guilty of this to some extent

[elytrafemme]

also like. life update. since coming to college i think i've decided i want to be less online in general, because i don't think it benefits my mental health to be on any online website too much. i know i still have strong ties to fandom and whatnot but i'm trying to reconcile my relationship with the things i've created knowing the headspace i was in when that happened; cs is more of a diary to me than anything, at least where i'm at currently. i DO want to be on discord more this break because there's people i want to VC and catch up with-- but ultimately i think i'm like exactly the worst kind of person to operate with any kind of stability on the internet so we're going to mess around with what that looks like for me for a while. love u guys and once finals are officially up in two days i'll be back to say hi :]

[gloriousmonsters]

read camp dama.scus. enjoyed some stuff, really wish i didn't have the experience so often reading a book that's Good and Progressive and about Queer Affirmation etc of feeling like i'm side-eying the author like 'and you know that delineating the people that oppose you as pure evil that therefore deserves torture or death or being eliminated from society entirely is bad, right? you know that, right??'

[sudokuplayer]

i would really like to trade my agoraphobia for a different disorder. i'd even take depression #2

[krilliondollars]

INTENTION 12 REBOOT JUST DROPPED!!!!!!!!! (like 6 days ago) (there's also a doodle dump under the readmore...intentuin 12)

These were all done with the lasso fill tool. The cropping on all of these is so bad I'm sorry guys 👎 💔

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

did my longest run so far today!!!

[audio-dramatic]

So, here's the thing, I still really love audiodrama as a medium. And I still like the ones I used to listen to, the community gave me a lot of great things I'll always cherish-

but- its been a number of years, and... How do I put this? I think because its a creative niche subculture, you get a lot of people... Playing up their roles as creatives. I'm talking specifically about the kind of gatekeep-y weird behavior that makes it hard to want to be involved in this. People get so deep in our little bubble they forget the real world isnt divided into who made a podcast and who didn't. And, its super alienating! I made friends who just- decided I wasn't important enough to keep in touch with because I haven't written an audiodrama or starred in one that aired (I did write one but thats a whole other story involving unkept promises and other not great behavior). And I've even had someone be rude to me because they hadn't already heard of me upon meeting me.

Its really tiring to try to be friends with people who only care if you're "Someone" whatever the fuck that means. It can really make you feel completely worthless and alienated from a subculture that is otherwise really fun. Also, crazy thing to have to point out but- we can't all be creatives! Some of the people here have to be audience, and that can't automatically be regarded as a lesser status. Especially in a subculture that's so saturated with creative people.

It's always so crazy to hear someone who makes audiodrama proudly tell you they would never listen to it. Like that's a good thing, please listen to yourself. It's like being a film maker who doesnt watch film or know any directors. Like- don't be proud of that! Believe it or not when you consume something you might actually Learn Something About The Craft. Wild, I know. Maybe ignorance of the medium you work in is something to be embarrased about!