#I'm already carrying the lives of thousands of people at all times what's a few more

[clonerightsagenda]

I wonder if Ling fucks around so much early in the comic (hassling the military's elite evil wizards, bumming food off people, getting arrested) because he has never actually had a chance to be a dumb kid before. He has grown up surrounded either by his clan who are depending on him to be their savior or enemy clans who are trying their best to kill him. People mistake him for older than he is; he has probably had to grow up very quickly. Amestris is a desperate attempt to raise his standing but it is also kind of spring break.

Then he gets possessed by the embodiment of self-interested hedonism but instead of getting to have a good time he spends several months in a creepy basement and then several months roughing it in the woods. When it's spring break and your dad makes you get a job.

[mrghostrat]

I remember you posting a blurred gif of the outline of atws, so if you don't mind me asking, how do you do that? Like, get the outline onto paper and not just scenes in your head. That's something I've always struggled with, because it's hard to write without an outline, but hard to do the outline when I don't have a first draft? I'm not sure how to explain it so I hope this makes any sense at all lmao

ahh so fair! some people just don't operate that way and you gotta do what's best for your brain. no point exhausting all your energy trying to squeeze into a "standard writing process" that'll make writing even more difficult for yourself.

under the cut, i'm going to explain my writing process every step of the way, using scenes of ATWS. i hope it helps in some way? i don't think it's anything special, but this is just how i write to appease my adhd.

first, this might help: i once used storyplanner.com when i didn't know how to even start a story and i loved it. it's a great tool that can hold your hand every step of the way, or just prompt you to think on your own. there's over 20 planners that ask different questions like "what's your character's major flaw?" "what's the inciting incident?" "what outside elements hinder the character?" etc that will present you with a complete story structure when you're done with it.

ok, now, how i write:

as for the post in reference, that's the 2nd stage of my writing process. i get carried away with tangents and hone in on details, so i plan in dot points to try and force myself to keep it simple and stay zoomed out.

i just write what happens in chronological order, and if i have an idea for a later scene (or something that i just want to happen, but don't know when/where/how), i note that in a separate document that i can refer to while i plan. this also allows me to gloss over vague sections to keep my writing flow going.

stage 1:

i've started using Notion's "toggle list" feature to minimise the less important parts of a scene and keep myself focused on the overarching plot during this stage. this is what the first point looks like:

i go beat by beat, essentially amounting to an elevator pitch for each stage of my story. "crowley and aziraphale are streamer roommates" + "people start to notice they each live with someone and the speculation starts" + "crowley and aziraphale interact on twitch" + "they attend the edinburgh meetup" etc.

i finish a story before i move on from this stage. i won't start writing something in earnest until i know how it ends.

stage 2:

this is what you saw in my gif, and why that page was so long. that's every scene i'm going to write in the story.

sometimes i jump straight from stage 1 to writing, but ATWS required a lot more figuring out before i started any kind of prose. here i'm basically noting down the details of what each scene is, the brunt of what's happening. this is when i have to figure out those "vague sections" i glossed over earlier.

it's still just intended to be a rough outline so i know where the characters are and what's moving their relationship along. most of these dot points are short because i've already thought about them a thousand times, and may have more details noted down in a different document.

meanwhile some of them i'm planning out the scene as i'm dotting it, making not of dialogue that i want to include.

stage 3: my bracket method

i only use this stage when i'm struggling to write and need to baby step into it. this is my "bracket method" in which i write the scene without, like... caring? some people may consider this "double handling" which may drive you mad, but it's the most helpful thing i've ever done for my process.

i switch tenses, i write how i chat (no capitals etc) and just word vomit the scene without focusing on prose. ATWS came quite easily at first, and i didn't need to use stage 3 until i got to chapter 4 and hadn't written in a few days.

stage 4:

this is writing the actual prose, but i wanted to include it so you can see the differences, to help better understand my notes/planning/outlining stages:

and this is what a scene looks like with stage three bridging the gap:

[astrronomemes]

SAYING GOODBYE: STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings for muses who have to say goodbye for a long time, or even the last time. from romantic to platonic to familial relationships. change & alter as needed.

"Don't forget about me, okay? I won't forget about you."

"Guess I'll see you when I see you, then."

"I'm sorry. I'm not coming back this time."

"You could come with me, you know? We don't have to say goodbye. This doesn't have to be goodbye."

"No, I can't go with you. I'm sorry, but... I can't go with you. I just can't."

"So, I guess this is goodbye, huh?"

"I don't want to leave. I have to leave."

"When you're ready, you can come back to me. I'll be right here waiting for you, okay? It'll be just like you never left."

"No, no, I get it. You have to leave. You have to do this. I know that. It's just... I'm really going to miss you."

"We'll still be under the same sky, at least. Even if we're a thousand miles away from each other."

"I-I don't understand. You're coming with me, aren't you? You said you were coming with me!"

"You're not coming back, are you?"

"I guess I won't be seeing you again."

"Look, I know I've been pushing you away for the last few days. And I know it's been hurting you, and I'm sorry, I just... I didn't want you to see how much I'm going to miss you. I didn't want to put that on you. I didn't want to make you carry that."

"I'm leaving here tonight. Right now. You can come with me, or you can stay here, I really don't care anymore. I'm getting the hell out of here."

"God, just get out of here already! Jeez, you're such a sap, hanging around and crying like this."

"I don't think we're going to meet again."

"I'll find you, you know that? I'll find you. When this is all over, I'm going to come and find you, and we'll be together again. We can still be together once we've made it through this. This doesn't have to be the end."

"I'll wait for you, okay? You're gonna come home, and I'm gonna be right here waiting for you. Swear to God."

"You have to do this. I understand that. You have to go, and see what's out there, and live your life without me. I get that. I want that. I want you to do that. I want you to go out there, and see the world, and live. ...And then I want you to come home."

"I have to go now. I'm sorry."

"You've got to go on. You've got to leave. You can't stay here, and I can't—I can't come with you."

"For what it's worth, I really will miss you."

"There's so much more out there, honey, and it's all for you. And you've got to go and get it."

"This isn't goodbye forever, I promise. I'll be back! And the time will fly by, anyway! You'll probably still be sick of me when I show up again."

"Maybe this is happening for a reason. Maybe we need to say goodbye, just for a little while, so we can find our way back to each other again."

"You'll be better off without me anyway. You know that, right?"

"You said you wouldn't leave me. You promised you wouldn't leave me."

"We'll see each other again. And we'll be better people next time around. We'll love each other better."

"There isn't anything I can do to convince you to stay, is there?"

"Can't I come with you?"

"Maybe we just met at the wrong time. Maybe we'll be ready for each other a little later on."

"You've got such a bright future ahead of you, honey. I'm just sorry I won't be there to see it."

[andreal831]

Elijah's Relationships in Songs

Celeste and Elijah

Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift

Unpopular opinion but Celeste and Elijah are in my top Elijah ships. Although, admittedly, I love almost all of his ships.

We don't get to see a lot of them but we see the impact their relationship had on him. She was one of the few people in a thousand years that had made him stray from his bond of always and forever. They were doomed from the start but something about her pulled him away from his devotion and gave him a brief time of happiness.

I can see the end as it begins My one condition is Say you'll remember me Standing in a nice dress Staring at the sunset, babe Red lips and rosy cheeks Say you'll see me again Even if it's just in your wildest dreams

They were never going to have immortality together. Celeste wasn't going to give up her magic and become a vampire for Elijah. They always had an end date, but they still loved each other deeply during their short time together. I can see Elijah being upset by the idea of losing her one day, either to old age or the terrible death she ended up suffering. Celeste would tell him to remember her just as she was, young, beautiful, and healthy. He would tell her that he would remember her always and carry her with him.

I said, "No one has to know what we do" His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room And his voice is a familiar sound Nothing lasts forever But this is getting good now

His family clearly knew about his relationship with Celeste, but they didn't make a show of it. Klaus pretended to not even know who Celeste was after he had ordered her death. But I do think they kept their relationship fairly private. It never seemed like his siblings knew just how important Celeste was to him. Like he was afraid if they knew how much she meant, they would use it against him. He already knew there was an expiration date on their relationship but wanted to enjoy it while he could.

You'll see me in hindsight Tangled up with you all night Burning it down Someday when you leave me I bet these memories Follow you around

Elijah then had to live in New Orleans for a century without Celeste. We see in the present day that the memory of Celeste was still haunting him. He would have seen her around every corner, every memory of them together haunting him and reminding him of what he lost.

And when he was finally reunited with his lost love, she was burning it all down (literally). Her love had turned to hate because of what his family had done and what he hadn't. He hadn't fought for her the way he had promised. In hindsight, he should have done more for her. Protected her better and avenged her better. But it was too late for that.

They had such a beautiful but tragic love. It's no wonder Elijah considered her one of the three epic loves of his life.

I'm starting this series where I talk about my favorite songs for Elijah ships. I'm going to do the same ship multiple times with different songs for different parts of their relationships. Let me know what ship you want next or if you have a song/ship you love!

[austinslounge]

Sorry for how long this will be 

wow I loved your response to the anonymous comment, because I hadn't seen things from that perspective, in fact every time Austin appears with Kaia or yesterday's show it is very disappointing for me, it gives me a stomach ache, then I breathe, read these blogs and calm down because we find details or see things that at first glance are not seen. 

You could say that I am a new fan of Austin, he conquered me with the thousands of videos that appeared on tik tok from the Dune press and it was like wow he is a handsome boy and I hadn't realized when I saw Elvis, but he is not just any handsome man (because there are thousands of handsome people in the world), he is nice, pleasant, he knows how to listen, you can see that he is a good person and he has his feet on the ground and that conquered me enough to know more about him and follow accounts related to him and go to twitter to see what his fandom says. 

When I started to know more things about him I realized that he was Vanessa's ex and that he was the boyfriend of Cindy Crawford's daughter (I didn't know Kaia at all) and when I saw the first photos of them as a couple it shocked me and caused me automatic rejection, I am 28 years old and I do not idealize couples that look bad together and that show that they have no chemistry, it shocked me that a man like him was with a spoiled rich girl with very different life stories and I'm not going to lie that caused me a lot of disappointment, but I thought it's a man hahaha although Austin is our biggest idol he is a man like any other and I don't want to put everyone in the same bag, but men sometimes get carried away by heat, he was a boyfriend for more than 8 years with a completely normal girl, they broke up and he looked for a very tall skinny model who is only pretty and an accessory that Austin being 30 years old can control in his own way and I don't want it to be understood as if I am attacking him, but even if he did not want to have control over her it is impossible, an older man he will always control your life, he already lived everything that Kaia is beginning to experience and live and being with a man who has everything clear in his life makes Kaia want to adopt personalities or show herself in a way that is not her just to please Austin or to show herself mature and where she pretends to be a person she is not, we have seen her thousands of contradictions. 

I remember that in March-April of this year there were rumors of a breakup because they had not been seen together, but what always happens when we see the ship sinking with force happened, they appear together smoking in NY and then after a few weeks the ones that for me are the worst photos that have come out of Kaia and Austin appear, angry and he walking a meter in front of her and I said woow what will their fans say about this, it is very evident that they are wrong, I went to twitter and I found myself with the surprise that nobody said anything and that they uploaded the photos as if they were goals and on the same photos the people magazine made an announcement that they are still together more than ever and in love? I said am I blind? why does nobody say anything about this, why do they find this couple attractive that you can see had been fighting 5 minutes before the photos, and then the L&S article appears and I found the silence of the fans so strange, it's like they ignore everything bad that can happen with them and they only show when they look good together, until my happiness came to find tumblr and see the real opinions about this, know a little about public relations and everything made sense to me, the problem with this is that by wanting Austin to be happy and for him to find a woman that he truly loves, he slaps us in the face every time we see him with her, Austin acts at his own pace and how he wants and it is desperate for someone who wants this to be now. 

If this relationship is fake or real we will never know, but what is a fact is that they do not love each other, they cannot hide that, the body, the way they look at each other and how Austin turns off when he is with her says a lot, the likes she gave, how uncomfortable he gets when asked about her, how little interest he shows in her projects and her family matters tells us that they have little time left, like any normal couple, they all separate and it is a normal situation in life, putting on that shirt is the least that Austin could give as a boyfriend, he did it and fulfilled, but he will not do more than that, in fact when the merch came out I said a paparazzi walk was coming with the shirt and it took a while but it arrived 😂. 

Now comes the hardest part for many of us, putting up with the minimal effort he's making as a boyfriend. Maybe they won't break up at the end of summer like the article says, and it will be tough for everyone, but it will end at some point anyway, and this advice goes for me too, not to feel disappointed by what I expect from another person's life, since I don't know what he might be going through to make me prefer to stay there. And I'm sorry for the length of this, but I needed to get it off my chest.

Whew! That was a very long read Anon lol 😆

But yea, I agree with some of the things you mentioned.

Anyone who's looking objectively at this relationship can see that something looks off. I think some people just think that just because a couple is still being spotted out together, that things must be going well. But when you look behind the surface, and pick up on little things, you see that smthg isn't right.

I also totally agree with you that Kaia is way over her head in this relationship with Austin, and it shows. 🥴 He's the oldest guy she's ever dated if I'm not mistaken. I think some fans forget that she is only 22. Most women at 22 are still figuring their lives (and themselves) out at that age. Most women are going to change significantly from their early 20s to their 30s, or even mid-20s! Who you wanted at 22 is not always who you want at 30, or beyond. Women change a lot during that pivotal time in life.

Fans have to take these things into consideration. Kaia will more than likely date several people in her lifetime. Austin as well.

I think fans need to take a deep breath and just let this thing play out. It's hard, I know, but to me, they resemble any other Hollywood couple out here who date each other and then break up eventually. There's nothing about them that scream "couple goals" imo.

[icarus-does-fall]

I FINISHED THE REDACTED FIC <33

It's roughly 5 thousand words

I can write more to it if people like it, it's technically open ended- but yk see how it reads I guess ^_^

I might cry if I wrote the redacted boys wrong but I wrote this in less than a week all during the hours of 10pm-2am so 🤷‍♂️

Story under the cut (no shit)

Ambrosine Oliver Emory- Or Beau to his friends had just moved to Dahlia, he worked for a news network that crossed continents and before he was in Dahlia he had been living in Ireland for the past 6 months. The cherry on top? Beau was a fire elemental, and moving to Dahlia he’d finally be able to meet some other empowered folks, not to say that Ireland didnt have any empowered of their own, they just were a bit more long lived than he was used to, but it was a special sort of sight to be there during Halloween.

He’d just stepped off the aeroplane, the California heat as strong as ever even though it was nearly two in the morning. His hair was dishevelled and pulled back into a messy bun as he walked to collect his bags before making his way to his car that had been shipped ahead of him and had been waiting for days. He already had a small apartment set up for him thanks to work, all which so happened to be on the border of the Shaw pack territory- not that Beau knew this though.

David Shaw, the alpha of the Shaw pack, coincidentally the largest pack in the area. He’d been engaged up until a few years ago when his mate died, they’d been out on their own and a few of Quinns goons had gotten them cornered and caught off guard. They were found too late. It’d been only recently that Asher and Milo had convinced David to start trying the dating scene again, so far it hasn't gone well. That's what you get for leaving your love life in the hands of those two.

Now being the alpha of a pack meant a lot of things. It meant paperwork, meetings, politics, but it also meant being alerted when a new and unnamed empowered moved in too close to the territory and it also meant that he had to make sure that the new empowered wasn't someone insane or a danger to his pack.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

It’d only been a day after Beau had gotten moved in, he looked more put together than he did when getting off of the aeroplane. His hair was pulled back into a braid, he'd thrown on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. He'd just barely gotten the chance to get used to the time changes and take a shower when there was a knock on his door.

“Bloody hell- I don't even know anyone here yet and my door is already gettin’ banged on, there's no chance I’ve gone and pissed somebody off yet… Right?”

With a sigh and a slight drag of his feet from the couch to the door he opened it only to be faced with the one and only David Shaw. Now Beau wasn't an idiot, while he might not have known who exactly stood in front of him he knew the man had importance and power just from the aura he radiated.

“Oh- um… hello? How- Who- Can I help you with something… Mister…?”

David's response was blunt and to the point but it carried a husky and low sort of tone. “Shaw. David Shaw, pack alpha. You're the new empowered who's moved close to my territory, I'm here to make sure you're not a threat.”

Beaus' eyes widened a fraction after David's introduction and he laughed sheepishly, he leaned against his door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. “Oh… you're the Dahlia alpha that's nice to know… Do I invite you in, how does this work? I’ve never been uh… vetted before, I’m usually just allowed to live in places.”

David's eyebrow quirked, normally people were scared- or at the very least seemed more intimidated of him than this person was showing. He wasn't small and he had authority, he was… intrigued to say the least. “Just a short chat would suffice for now, no one here knows who you are, that's suspicious when you move in so suddenly, and you're too close to pack territory to simply ignore.”

“Okay then… Come on in I guess? Pardon the mess, I haven't gotten to finish unpacking just yet. My stuff was sent here before I was and a shower and watering my plants seemed to be a higher priority than unboxing dishes.”

He couldn’t stop the soft chuckle this newcomer seemed so scattered about that it reminded him of his friends. As he stepped into the apartment and took in the sight the warning was putting it lightly, the boxes and the mess was everywhere but even so it still left homey. “This isn't a way to live, you know. There's nowhere to walk- Or sit.”

Beau gave David a flat look and huffed slightly. “I said I was working on it, there's no need to get so judgy about it, damn.”

Davd’s lips pursed before he sighed and moved one of the smaller boxes off a chair and sat at the breakfast bar. “Apologies. Now you know who I am, just who are who exactly?”

“Shouldn't you, oh I don't know, know this already? You know I'm empowered but not my name, stalker vibes dude-”

He growled and his eyes narrowed in slight irritation. “I'm not a stalker, I just get updates on the empowered who move into pack territory, that doesn't mean I get your life story though.”

“Sure thing wolfy, as for my life story as you put it, my name's Ambrosine Emory but folks just call me Beau, it's easier, and I work for NPR. The news station so I get sent all over, this was just my next assignment. Nothin’ devious I promise.”

David's eyes narrowed further and he growled lowly, “Don't call me wolfy.”

“Yeah whatever, wolfy. So am I allowed to live in my apartment or are you gonna tell me no? Which I really don't think you can do.”

David's scowl deepened and he huffed. “Shut up- Just don't hurt the pack and yes you can stay. There's no rule against you living where you do, just against causing trouble.”

Beau grinned and laughed, leaning against the breakfast bar with a roll of his eyes as he was propped up on his arms. “Wooowww so graceful~ How ever should I say thank you for letting me stay in my own apartment.”

��You have an attitude, has anyone ever told you that you need to be more respectful sometimes?”

“I can be respectful! When I need to be, but just cause you're some alpha doesn't mean you automatically gain my respect, life doesn't work like that wolfy.”

“Whatever.”

Beau grinned further and tried to muffle his giggles. “Sure sure okay, you can whatever your way out of this one but not everything. Just sayin’... Soooo you sayin’ for coffee or, leaving so I can keep unpacking?”

David huffed and stood from the chair with a slight scowl on his features. “Just shut up and keep your nose clean, we’re gonna be keeping an eye on you alright.”

“Bye wolfy see you ‘round!”

“Fuck off. And stop calling me wolfy damnit.”

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

David made his way back towards the pack house with a scowl on his face and the moment he walked through the doors he was immediately bombarded with questions about the new move in from Milo and Asher.

“Hey Davey! Back so soon? You scare off the new kid on the block already/

“Aww man does that mean I don't get to invite them over for game night? Maann I was looking forward to some fresh players.”

“Davids not in control of game night Milo, invite who you want, I wanna know what the new kids like? Anything interesting?”

“Will both of you shut up, please.” David rolled his eyes at the twos excitement and shook his head as he hung up his leather jacket and then walked towards the kitchen for a drink. “The move ins name is Beau, he's a fire elemental. Works for the news network, NRP- but I’m gonna do a little digging on him, something seemed off.”

“Off? Wanna explain any further on that maybe?”

“He didn't seem bothered by me being there, he treated me like just a regular visitor, like I couldn't absolutely destroy him, that's weird isn't it?”

“Oooor hear me out, you're overthinkin’ it and the dude is just a dude who knows he wasn't doing anything wrong? Not everyone is gonna be out to get ya David.”

“Maybe but it's still a possibility and you all are my responsibilities. And after…” David sighed and his grip on his drink tightened as he scowled. “And after Angel died because I failed I have to make sure that doesn't happen again. I can't lose anyone else important to me. It’s not happening”

The room after that got very quiet, very tense, it always did whenever Angel was brought up in that way. It was always easier to just think that them and David had broken up because they weren't around anymore but the truth was ugly and harsh and no one liked to face it.

“Sorry man, you know we didn't mean anything by it. We all miss ‘em you know.”

“I know, I know… I just need a minute, and keep an eye on the newbie alright? I just don't trust him.”

And with that David took his drink and walked off to his room. It was simply an over decorated place to hold a bed, what life and colour it held died away when Angel did, he moved out of his apartment- He had Asher and Sam help get his things, he could barely make it through the door, and then moved back into the back house. No more hosting solstice for him. He let out a guttural growl and slammed the door behind him as he walked into his room. It cracked. And broke the door jam, that was the fourth one in three months.

He sighed and under his breath as he sunk against the door spoke, “Damnit Angel, you fuckin’ perv why’d you have to die on me. We were getting married next spring, we had a plan damnit.”

David leaned his head against the broken door and sighed again before taking a sip of his drink. He could hear the concerned whispers of Milo and Asher on the other side of his door, this wasn't anything new and while David was coping he wasn't always coping healthily which was the problem. He worked till he dropped most nights and he hadn’t let himself cry since the day Angel died, he had people while somehow having no one all at the same time.

He didn't move from that position until the sun began to set, and the boys left after about 15 minutes of lingering after the door was first broken. While they knew their mates would understand if they stayed they also knew that there was nothing either of them could do to help David right now. They weren’t sure there was anyone who would be able to help pull David out of his new found darkness.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

While David was having his mental breakdown, Beau on the other hand was unpacking without a care in the world while jamming out to Metallica- Thank the gods that he didn't have any close by neighbours otherwise he'd be getting noise complaints on his very first day. But hed gotten the majority of his boxes unpacked and his apartment actually looked like a place that could be lived in now and not just a storage unit.

Beaus’ apartment was filled with thrifted goods, fairy lights, tapestries and posters of all sorts, it was warm and cosy, soft to an extent. He even had a few stuffed animals scattered about to act as throw pillows.

By the end of the night he was curled up on his couch, the TV was playing Wall-E and he’d made himself a cuppa tea. “I’d say today was productive, yeah? Got grilled by the alpha of the largest pack in Dahlia and then got my apartment unpacked… mostly… Now to just keep the big bad wolf off my back, that would be fantastic.”

He laughed to himself and took a sip of his tea as Wall-E and Eva danced across his TV screen and then eventually fell asleep just like that, all nestled up sleeping soundly on the couch with Disney classics playing in the background. That was of course until the sun rose the next day, by then he was being awoken by nonstop knocking at his door.

Gods above it wasn't even 9am yet. There wasn't even coffee made.

“Hey newbie! You awake? What’d you do to David last night that broke him when he came home?”

In Beaus' groggy state he simply glared at the door for a moment, grumbling to himself as he stood and shuffled over towards the door. “Fuckin’ cunts- First its the big bad wolfy saying imma blow everybody up, now its wolfys friend at the door to and its too damn early, better have coffee or imma be the problem wolfy fuckin think I am-”

He opened the door and stared at another hulking figure, well everyone was a hulking figure to Beau he wasn't exactly that tall, except this one had scruffy ash blonde hair and piercings galore. “Hey-”

“Nope, nononono, no pleasantries yet, it's too damn early- I just wanted you to stop bangin’ on my door. Here’s how this is gonna work. If you really need to talk, you're gonna wait until I've had my coffee and then we can chat. Hear me?”

Asher nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. Beau was direct and almost a little harsh, he didn't hold back. That was appreciated, he had a feeling that his new move in was gonna be a good addition to their little life. “Yeah yeah I can wait, shoulda brought coffee to streamline the process huh- I’ll remember.”

Beau grumbled and rolled his eyes before walking towards his kitchenette, Asher following closing the door behind him as Beau put on a pot of coffee. As it started to brew he merely leaned against the counter and crossed his arms watching how Asher seemed to take in every part of his apartment.

“Okay I can't do the creepy silence, even if im not totally awake yet- Who are you besides wolfys friend?”

Asher chuckled and raised an eyebrow, “wolfy? And he hasn't gone off on you for callin’ him that? hell i still get shit for callin’ him Davey. Names Asher, friends call me Ash. I'm David's beta in the pack, i've known him his whole life and he came back to the pack house just off last night yaknow? Wanted to see what the two of you could’ve talked bout to see ‘im off like that.”

Beau cracked a smile at that and had to stop himself from laughing. “Wait, wait, wait, you think I broke the big bad wolf? That’s hilarious, I didn't do nothin to the guy, he’s the one who barged in here, insulted my house- apartment- whatever and then threatened me. All I did was ask if he wanted a cuppa coffee.”

“Wait- thats it- You sure?”

“I was there, of course Im fuckin sure”

“Obviously but something happened to cause him to basically shut down, he broke another door last night so.”

“He broke a door? I mean I’ve caught a few things on fire when I've forgotten myself but a door christ I didnt think me moving in was that big of a deal, no one else has ever cared before.”

“Well… We’ve had some problems recently, not just the pack but like off in Dahlia- Rouge vampires and shit, people have died and no one knows you, hell you're moving in from a different country so Davids just being cautious.”

Beau was about to say something when the kettle whistled for his coffee and so he turned his attention from Asher towards the stove top and put together his coffee, pouring in his cream and sugar and basked in the heat of it as he sighed happily before he spoke up again. “So empowered folks have died here? Cause some crazy vamp, and wolfy here thinks I'm somehow involved? I work for a new network- I think the most dangerous thing I’ve done is skydive.”

“David gets protective sometimes, more so after his mate died. He’s been a wreck, he's back to acting just like when his dad died all over again. It's a hard sight to see but he means well, honestly he does.” Asher paused and then grinned and laughed. “Wait wait, you've gone skydiving? Like jumping out of a plane skydiving?”

“Yeah we went for my cousin's birthday some time ago- He’s an air elemental… And well he didn't really wanna go skydiving but his partner and their friends thought it'd be a really cool idea and I was in town that weekend so I got dragged along. Laskos’ a bit of an airhead sometimes but he's really sweet and we don't have the greatest relationship with our families so we tend to stick together like glue.”

“Damn newbie who would've thought you'd be adventurous, you just seem more like a homebody than anything else.”

“I don't know if I should be offended by that or not but uh.. Thanks? Maybe?”

“Sure thing newbie, now since you're living close to pack territory, you planning on meeting any of 'em or just lurking near the edge of the grounds?”

“I could but uh incase you're forgetting there, I am kinda tiny compared to you lot and I'm not a shifter? I play with fire. Not sure how it works down here in Dahlia but most places I've lived the empowereds don't really just mingle unless it's important.”

“Sure for the most part but not really, we all kinda just hang, there's no real separation yaknow? C’mon I’ll introduce ya to your new neighbours newbie.”

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

David that morning however looked broken, he always did after a night thinking about Angel. It had been years since their death but by the gods above he wasn't moving on, no he was simply just burying every emotion and breaking things to deal with the emotions he felt. He knew, he knew he needed to talk, he barely was getting over his dad's death and that was thanks to Angel and then they go and get killed- He simply lost it. He was a shell of the, not more open man that Angel made him but he was different around them and he’d lost that spark.

He had bags under his eyes and his usual put together self looked like he was slowly falling apart. He was doing all he could to stay together, to keep everyone together. Groggily he made his way towards the kitchen only to be greeted with the sight of Asher and Beau in his kitchening laughing having a grand old time.

He stood in the doorway and stared for a few moments before sighing and walking into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. “Morning Ash… and others.”

“Hey Davey! I dragged the newbie over, figured he could do with some friends and since he's living close to the pack, thought I could introduce him to some of the folks here. Milo and Sam are swinging by later to hang out too. Same mentioned something ‘bout bringing Porter on by too but that's still up in the air.”

Beau was sitting on one of the kitchen counters and rolled his eyes as David and Asher spoke. “Dramatic little wolves- Are we sure I really need that many friends? That sounds like a lot of people there pretty boy-”

Asher simply grinned and ruffled Beaus' hair with a laugh. That simple action caused a surge of feelings through David and he wasn't sure why. He was blaming it on lack of sleep. “Don't worry about it newbie, they're all great people, and I'm sure everyone will get along great with you.”

David scowled and huffed quietly as he poured his coffee into a mug and then leaned against the counter to face Asher. “And you thought it was a good idea to bring a stranger into the pack house? Do you know the consequences if something goes wrong?”

“Oh chill out the newbie isn't some axe murderer, he's actually pretty chill.”

“Hmpf”

Beau grinned widely and laughed a bit as he changed positions a bit to sit cross legged on the counter he was sitting on. “Hey, maybe I am some crazy axe murderer! Don’t take away all my fun just cause wolfy here doesn't trust me.”

“How many damn times do I have to tell you not to call me Wolfy? My name is David for gods sake you war criminal.”

“Oh for fucks sake, its too early in the day for you to be this pissy isnt it? Don't you know how to relax and have fun?”

“I can have fun when my home isn't possibly being threatened.”

Beau huffed and blew out a stream of smoak from his nose. “I can show you being threatened if you want to be threatened. Dont fuck with me wolfy.”

David snarled and placed down his coffee, taking a step clear to Beau as Asher shifted awkwardly from foot to foot before laughing awkwardly and then began to walk out of the kitchen.

“O-okay, I'm just gonna- go… Have fun? I guess? And here I thought I was gonna introduce the newbie to people today and make friends.”

They both ignored Asher as he left, unbeknownst to them, Asher was pouting as he walked out of the pack house and got onto a call with his mate to complain about the whole being ignored situation, if anyone would listen to him Babe would.

“Aww if the big bad wolf all mad cause I called him out on his bullshit?~”

“You haven't done anything except piss me off so why don't you just stop talking.”

Beau smirked and leaned forward on the counter letting his legs dangle over the edge. “Why don't you come make me shut up wolfy?”

David's eyes narrowed and he took another step closer to Beau and the counter. He was now within a foot of him, his hands placed on either side of Beau on the counter and his voice was a gruff whisper. “I am more than capable of making you shut up you war criminal.”

Beau flushed slightly, and his voice turned breathy, it wouldn't have been noticeable to a normal person, but to a shifter, David caught the change in tone though, it nearly made him smirk but he was still a bit too pissed to pay attention to how he was feeling despite what he was doing. “Prove it then wolfy cause I don't think you got it in you. I think I’d burn you.”

With a growl David closed the space between them, pulling Beau in for a kiss. David's lips were rough compared to the softness of Beaus’ yet together it was a slow yet still heated and almost electric feelling. “I said, shut up.”

The kiss broke away after a few moments and while Beau was blushing, David seemed shocked by his own actions and took a step back before simply walking away, he looked to be in a daze. He walked out to the porch where Asher was sitting, still on the phone talking with Babe.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

David took the open seat next to Asher, his face was pale but now also flushed red as he buried his face into his hands and groaned. “Ash, I think I fucked up.”

“Oh so now you wanna talk to me? I’ll call you back Babe, now Davey here wants to acknowledge my presence. Soooo what did you do?~”

“I kissed him- I didn't mean to either, but I did, we were arguing and I kissed him, and it wasn't a bad kiss either. What about Angel? I-I know they're gone but damnit Ash it feels wrong to move on from them.”

Asher's smug grin slowly faded into a knowing look and he smiled softly as he clasped David on the shoulder. “Oh man… You know it's okay to feel happy and do things again? I mean, I know Milo and I tried to set you up a few times but you just depression scared those people away, this guy those, he has a fire and I think it set something off in you… And we both know that Angel would’ve wanted you to keep living, not stick around to be some stick in the mud for the rest of your life.”

David sighed and looked over towards Asher through the corner of his eye. “Are we sure about this cause I still love Angel, they were my everything and- Christ Ash I kissed him and just walked out on the guy!”

Asher held back a laugh and grinned as he shook his head. “You idiot, you walked out on the guy you just made out with?”

David flushed slightly and huffed. “We didn't make out, it was one kiss, okay? One.”

“Oh with how messed up you are right now I’d say there’s gonna be more than just one singular kiss in your future Davey.”

David scowled and he growled quietly but he was still blushing. He hated to admit it but Asher was right, Angel would’ve preferred he moved on with his life and not stick to the past but their wedding would've been this month, he was a whirlwind of emotions and he could figure out which ones were which. “I hate you Ash.”

“I know Davey, now go talk to the pretty boy that you left in there and talk to him.”

“And if I don’t? Think I’ll fuck up my future chances or think he’ll walk out here to follow me?”

“Oh please, you're a good looking guy David but I don't think that the newbie is that desperate for a piece of your ass.”

David huffed and lightly shaved Asher, holding in a laugh as he rolled his eyes. “Oh fuck off Ash, he kissed me back, you dont just do that if youre not at least somewhat into the other person… Right?”

“I don't know man, you know how me and my mate got together- I kinda just do what they say… Mostly… But just go back in there and talk to him, tell him about all the things, I promise he’s a chill guy- He’ll understand.”

David sighed and his head dropped again before he stood and began to walk back into the house to where he left Beau sitting onto the counter. Beau now however was finishing off David's coffee and raiding the fridge as David walked back into the kitchen, he grinned cheekily. “You do that to every guy you kiss? Just walk off right after?~”

“No- No typically it leads to something else, I just haven't really kissed anyone in a while- It was… unexpected”

Beau grinned teasingly and laughed softly as he closed the fridge door. “Right… Can’t blame you for that, so uh… Why haven't you kissed anyone in so long? You get mono and go comatose for a year?”

“Well… My mate, they died a few years back- I doubt you know much about whats happened in Dalhia but theres a vampire running about named Quinn- some of his goons caught my mate out on their own and next thing any of us knew they were bleeding out in my arms and I stopped kissing people after that.” He laughed nervously and shrugged, “Milo and Ash tried a couple times to get me to date but I scared all their options away.”

Beau paused at that, his smile faded completely and he placed down the stolen mug of coffee. “O-oh… Oh shit- Im sorry, Im not fucking up your grieving process am I? Being a menace and kissing back- I know how tough that stuff is… I could've pulled away if I knew you were going through some things.”

David chuckled softly and placed his hands on Beaus' shoulders. “No it's fine, be a menace- hell Ash said that is what is probably helping me pull me out of my dark and scary place. I walked out cause, I still love my mate but you invoke some type of feelings in me too, I wasn't sure what to do about that.”

“Oh- Alright, sooo do I get another kiss or is this just gonna be an awkward thing till someone bucks up and does something about your dark place?”

“We take it slow, I might feel things but I'm still ‘dark and scary’… But I can spare one more kiss, for now.”

“You're not scary wolfy~”

David growled playfully as he pressed close against Beau, his lips grazing his ear. “Oh shut up you little criminal.”

And as soon as David stopped talking he leaned in for another kiss which Beau quickly responded to.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

Tags-

@froggytimemachineinternet

@definitelynuwonhere

[c-schroed]

tell me about amman, jordan; i'm going to be studying there in september!!

Firstly, I'm sorry for the delayed answer. I somehow didn't notice your ask until now (turns out the asks inbox is rather well hidden in the tumblr app 😅).

And honestly, I can't tell much about Amman, because our Jordan trip was rather short in general (I'm very happy spouse an I found the time at all, but it was kind of a Better A Few Days Than Nothing At All situation), and I don't have more than a tourist's perspective.

That being said, here are a few personal impressions I have about Amman:

It's buzzing with life! Especially on top of one of Amman's hills, one can hear lots of traffic, people talking and/or shouting, children playing, all kinds of animals. I was absolutely amazed by how lively this city sounds.

Also, Amman is h u g e. We were told it takes six hours to cross it via car. Which of course is also due to its bustling traffic. Naturally, in the three days or so we were in Amman, we barely scratched the surface of this marvellous city.

There's a striking lack of public transport. From what I've seen and heard, either you own a ride, or you know someone with a ride, or you take a taxi/uber (our travel agency back home organized a local driver for us, who was very helpful). Anything else ends up with you walking.

As someone who doesn't like shorts, I did love that only the tourists wore shorts. Everyone who seemed local wore trousers.

Drinking tap water is not advisable. Like, I mentioned using boiled tap water for tea to someone and got an Are You Nuts look in response (I refreshed my typhoid shots before my Jordan trip, so I felt rather safe about that). You might know that already, I guess. However, I'm from a country with high quality tap water, so some questions surrounding water quality don't come to me as automatically as to other people (like, Where do the ice cubes in my drink come from?). As a side note, I loved the little yoghurt cups that were used as packaging for water. They're very light, which is very practical when one has to carry one's waste for some time till one finds the next bin. Clever!

Spouse and I felt very safe in Amman, and everyone we met was kind and hospitatable. Of course, we obviously were tourists. But still. We encountered nothing but kindness. One example: There is a Coptic Orthodox church in Suliman al Nabulsi Street, and after we asked if the church was open, someone immediatly gave us a lovely little tour for just a pay what you want donation for the church.

Fav places of mine were Amman Citadel (marvellous ruins, thousands of years of history, and one helluva view!), Darat al Funun (a lovely art gallery with a gorgeous lil café; the nearby Al Kalha Stairs are also absolutely worth a visit!), and the Wild Jordan Center (who also had lovely café with a gorgeous view).

These impressions I took home with me. I hope this helps you a bit, and I wish you best of luck for your studies!

As a little bonus, please have a picture of the view from Amman Citadel. The two guys from the Tourism Police really add some postcard vibes that to me make the pic perfect.

[webnovel-deluxe]

Isn't Being A Wicked Woman Much Better? Side Story Chapter 12

I also upload this chapter in my YouTube channel, read there to support my effort, to read click here👉Link

Yoon Do-hee, who passed by quickly as a child, had a much calmer and more mature face than I thought. She seemed to have atrophied somewhere.

Because it's not easy to assert yourself among selfish families.

Even if the other person behaves unfairly, it is difficult to resent or get angry, so I would rather yield and take a step back… .

The video of Yoon Do-hee's biography, which was flowing at thousands of times, was running towards the end that I knew.

I couldn't bear my anger and came out as if I was running away from home, and I got into a car accident... .

- After that.

-!!

Again, my view flipped, and I was thrown into a place I was terribly familiar with.

It was the living room of the house I lived in in a previous life.

***

“You, in Dohee’s name, don’t she have any insurance?”

“I’m looking for it right now, so don’t look at me and stay still. Dohee is a well-prepared girl, so she might have put something in it.”

'Wow. Fuk, They are really consistent people.'

I feel absurd before my life, my family… No, I looked at people like they are cattle.

I expected that they wouldn't sincerely commemorate my death due to their personality, but I'm sure they're trying to figure out how to get insurance money.

I can't come out without cursing.

Young-sook Jang, who looked like her mother, who was searching through Do-hee Yoon's belongings, frowned. What she carried was a thank-you letter and pamphlet from a donation organization.

“Do-hee, why did he donate 100,000 won a month to this fraudulent organization? You should have insurance or something.”

I was so shocked that I almost grabbed the back of my neck.

Hey, isn't there a scam group out there? What a famous children's foundation!

No matter how good I was, I would have donated every month to an organization I had never heard of because of my lack of money.

To be honest, it was a real scam that Ms. Jang Young-sook's friends' insurance encouraged her to buy this. The payment period is terribly long, and the conditions for compensation are strict.

I wanted to refute it because it was unfair, but I did not want to live as Yoon Do-hee again, so I quietly watched the situation.

“Not long ago, didn’t you even buy bike insurance just because you learned to ride a bike? By the way, how can you leave out Dohee's insurance in the midst of all that stuff?”

That's it.

“Then you guys are here! Why is it that the human being who has been arguing every day that the insurance fee is not worth it has come and didn't take out insurance!?”

Their conversation quickly escalated into a fight, and the younger brother in the room suddenly opened the door and came out screaming.

“ah! Don't you know I have a few days left for the exam? There is no soundproofing already, so it will be noisy.”

“Ah Dokyun. ...Mom quietly sorry, I'll do it.”

“Huh? Where do you come from, man, yelling? Man, give me your report card.”

Man-guk Yoon seemed to have a hard time dealing with the horned woman, Young-sook Jang, so she started catching the youngest son like a mouse, and when he saw his report card, she was furious.

“Did you even get this as a score!? Do you know how much money you get out of your tuition a month?”

“Ah-oh! Our house is the only house that is so fussy with only a million won tutoring fee!”

“Hey man! Your sister only listened to Lee Ingang, which cost 30,000 won, and went on to a prestigious university.”

“Ah, why is Dohee sister appearing all of a sudden? That older sister didn't look like her mom and her dad, so she had good brain.”

“What? This bastard!”

“My mother certainly did. Dohee sister also looks good, and she said she didn’t come out of your belly.”

At that moment, the first, Yoon Do-yeon, who was in the room, jumped out with the sound of the door being opened.

“what? 1 million won for tutoring?! Let's listen, let's listen, it's ridiculous and my nose is stuffed. Mom! I guess I only invested half of Yoon Do-kyun’s.”

“Auntie, get a job. She can't even get married until she's that age, and she plays and eats in the corner of her room. Preparing for public announcement, honestly, isn't it?”

“hey! Do you want to go backwards? You bastard like a pig's foot!”

“Yoon Do-yeon! Why throw that expensive thing!”

Watching the cockroaches fighting while throwing even a catch, I was terrified inside.

'I fight to become a real powder.'

I thought that the makjang family was not called the soybean flour family for nothing.

By the way, the situation didn't go to extremes like that usually, but when I think about it, when those humans start fighting, I was the one who stopped them in the middle.

I used to close my mouth when I ordered chicken or jjajangmyeon after fighting hard.

'It's too late.'

But when there was no one to stop them, they fought and fought until neighbors reported the noise to the police. It was a mass of waste itself.

Shortly thereafter, they received a notice from the landlord asking them to leave the house. Complaints came from all directions, and it was a natural result, as there was a mess in the corners of the room and even the veranda.

“What, it’s too narrow!”

And since the rent price has risen, they have had no choice but to move to a smaller house.

“We don't have Do-hee Yoon, so I’m only now getting my own proper room, but how can I live in a house like this from now on? Aren't you all in my room this time?”

Looking around the two-room house, Yoon Do-yeon was very annoyed.

“Do you know how hard it was to rent this house? Even the pocket money you used to get every month is now bending our backs! Do-hee added even a penny while working part-time to a household that was still not there, but this guy didn't even get a job and was just irritable!”

“Since when did my mother take care of Yoon Do-hee? Suddenly you say every time, Do-hee! Do-hee! Honestly, does mother have the right to say that? She didn't have insurance, so things got really complicated!”

“What? Is it my fault?”

“Then who is to blame for all this?”

“Hey! You get out of my house!!”

“why me? If you give birth, take responsibility!”

They uttered abusive language to the point where the onlookers got tired of it, and they always blamed each other. It was Abigail.

'There is no other hell.'

The tension that even that Lucifer sticks out his tongue.

In the meantime, my father picked up some strange information and came to hear it, and he pulled up a third financial loan and invested it in the operating owner and threw it all away.

“What? how much do you blow How could you be that old and still immature? it's crazy?”

First Lady Jang Young-sook slapped Yoon Man-guk on the back and made a fuss.

“Did I just say good sleep? Didn't this happen after trying to make you and your children live in a big and comfortable house without worrying about money?”

“No power? I'm foolishly deceived to throw money Don't make excuses for us! You're a bum!”

“An excuse?! Had I been there, would I have entered such risky stocks with a straw hat? If it were him, he would have gone to a large company, but how reassured I must have been! Why am I the only one working in this every corner? How come there are only carnivores!”

“What!? Insects? Who eats the food provided by such insectivores!?”

“What’s the point of savoring and eating a tasteless curry for a week?”

“hey! Yoon Man-guk! Don't campaign with a monthly salary that's the size of a rat's tail! All of my friends' husbands are now responsible and moved. You're the only one who babbles! know?!”

“This woman! sudden!”

“Hit it! hit it! And stamp it!”

Rather than getting a divorce, screaming, the situation is getting worse and worse, but I got into this situation. No one was trying to hang up. We just blame each other.

‘And how come you seem to be looking for me more than before? '

Whenever they fight, I get goosebumps when I see Yoon Do-hee's name being mentioned and criticizing and demeaning each other. How long were you planning to eat your back?

'They are all people who don't want to see the real thing.'

nothing more to see No one was trying to bring the finale to life. We just blame each other.

nothing more to see Just as the finale of the play was clear, their future was also clearly visible.

Since Yoon Man-guk borrowed the money from the debentures, the real hardship door has been opened. In the future, there will be no reason to fight like that.

'To pay off debt.'

They will soon realize the fear of loan and welfare, and they will blame each other for the rest of their lives, chasing only money.

***

- It's self-sufficient.

Thought body looked at the family and evaluated them coldly, and I let out a short sigh with a vague feeling.

- Deborah, you don't have to be complicated. You only reap what you sow. Isn't it pleasant? Those people sacrificed you and oppressed you to get my greed.

-… It's crazy to do it I should have realized sooner that those humans were irresistible.

In the name of family, I of a previous life had endured them too long.

Well, I have to regret it, but it's all in the past.

-!

That was then. The background changed again, and this time the familiar college campus background unfolded.

In April, when spring came, the pink cherry blossoms were fluttering like snow, and the students gathered together, laughing and chatting happily.

There was no room in my heart, so at that time the scenery passed by quickly.

For some reason, I thought it would be my last chance to capture the scenery of my previous life so vividly, so I looked around carefully.

As I glanced around the places where I once devoted my 20s youth, but now there is not even a faint feeling left, I ran into familiar faces. They were the same architecture, classmates and juniors.

They were sitting around the lawn with the delivery food in the middle, chatting.

"This was a lecture note that Dohee senior lent me, but I couldn't repay it properly. "

Suddenly, the name of Yoon Do-hee came out of someone's mouth and I swallowed my breath.

I didn't even go to the department MT well because I was doing part-time work and homework at the same time. I thought you didn't know my name well because it was so cheesy.

Support me with your like, comments & share. Your support encourage me to upload next chapter faster.

[brdpch]

{5} a game of cats, mice and hearts like ice

desktop: previous ✧ next mobile: previous ✧ next

synopsis: in the world of deadly games and their lives at risk, a very smart sociopath meets a very cunning stripper who claims his life as hers.

warnings: canon-typical violence, graphic descriptions of violence, sexual abuse, substance abuse, niragi, literally everything, you name it.

formatting: it's a glued-together dynamic roleplay between me and @bvrdel-mama, so the replies are separated by ♠♥♦♣, and the dialogues are written like — This. — yes, the symbols look horrible on mobile, we know.

statistics: 1,795 words 9,888 characters.

author's note: it's a mix of manga!chishiya with show!chishiya. also! what's worth noticing - in this rp there are dice involved. the mechanic is called a d20 mechanic, and it's based on dungeons and dragons 5th edition. we also use other dice rolls for other outcomes, so future events might surprise both me and my roleplaying partner. enjoy!

Shuntarō nodded at everything she said, ignoring the gunshots, unfazed. He didn't know if it showed but he was very impressed by her quick thinking and ability to work under the pressure of time and looming death. He was right - the sweet, stupidish performance she put on hid a wolf underneath, just really similar to his blank emotionless one which hid a cold, calculating predator. He thought really hard about the flaws in her analysis of their situation but much to his disappointment he couldn't find any. The know-it-all tone wasn't lost on him as well, although he chose to ignore it just like the gunshots and screams of the panicked people below. She was dangerously intelligent, that could be a problem later on, one that didn't simply involve her questioning his intelligence in an elaborate way.

Shuntarō met her gaze now, still leaning over the balcony, putting his chin upwards.

— I have no idea, but I'm positive you will now enlighten me.  — he lowered his voice and uttered dryly.

He was following the horse-head on the opposite side from him, watching his movement and noting the floors which were targeted by his bullets. They must know where the room they're looking for is - it's a matter of noting down where their feet took them and where their sight and bullets go. She thought of the playing field well, let's see if she can come up with a solution to this game as fast as he can.

♠♥♦♣

She had to be used to the gunshots, but not because of visiting the shooting range or playing paintball; she was used to the real thing used in actual gunfights. She also had to witness death at some point, because she seemed unfazed by the dead bodies, screams and blood.

Another scream interrupted their conversation, followed by a rain of bullets, and then a pause. Something was dropped, Unmei was sure it was an empty magazine - she saw it from across the balcony. The tagger was reloading.

— Rupert Sheldrake, scientist, actually - currently biologist, — she spoke quietly, turning off the recording. — Theorized about atoms, which was actually proven a few years ago, have weight, but in this weight they carry widely understood knowledge. The atoms „communicate” with each other by the use of a morphogenetic field - which is, for us, the apartment complex. One thousand people were experimented on in the United Kingdom, answering a question about what's on two paintings. On one of them, there was a dog; on the other one - a woman in a hat, but here's the catch - these pictures looked similar to Rorschach test ones. — Unmei paused for a moment. — You know, those dark splotches on light background which are used in the psychiatric field. Anyway, back to the point - 3.9% of surveyed could recognize a dog, and 9.2% surveyed could recognize the lady. Next time they conducted the experiment they got much better results - about 10% rate with the dog, and 20% rate with the lady. It could possibly mean that this knowledge was already „discovered” and then „stored”, or rather „kept” in the morphogenetic field, transferred later on by more surveyed subjects. If there is someone who knows where the safe zone is, it's the tagger, and their knowledge - in theory - is stored in the atoms around us

Unmei waited a little bit for Chishiya to catch up to her with his thinking.

— Nonetheless, I don't really believe in this version of the theory. But if the tagger knows where the safe zone is, he'll reveal it to us sooner or later by protecting the right door. When the players are in enough distance, then he'll start actually chasing them. — she paused again. — There was no player limit, so they have to carry enough ammo and weapons for not only a few, but maybe even tens of people, meaning we cannot take them one-by-one. Have you already counted their magazine capacity? Tagger keeps going around the middle floors, so one of these doors could be the solution. Let's say that this apartment complex has one hundred flats, and there are fourteen of players - seven doors for each player to check, if we assume all of us are alive and we'll keep checking them efficiently, one by one. it's impossible to do in twenty, — she checked her phone. — Ten minutes.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei could deduce earlier that Shuntarō was a man of few words, who preferred acting from speaking. It was the case even now. Chishiya partly observed the tagger wandering around the lower levels, but partly listened to Unmei's words. It didn't seem like the massacre surrounding them was a problem to Shuntarō, quite the opposite - at times a dark smile would appear on his face when the echoes of players choking on their own blood reached their ears.

— It's good that you added that you don't believe in that theory. It sounds as probable as building your life on horoscopes. — he answered dryly, scanning Unmei from head to toe.

Shuntarō shook his head and then a focused look appeared on his face. He agreed with the part where Unmei mentioned that the tagger will lead them to the goal of the game.

— A standard machine pistol has either twenty-five or thirty-two bullets in its magazine. I assume the second option is more proba- — Shuntarō was cut off by a rain of bullets directed at someone on the other side of the complex. The tagger emptied out the whole magazine.

— Thirty two. — he said quickly, leaning over the balcony to check where the bullets go. Why would someone shoot from such a distance? From a weapon which loses its effectiveness the further it is from the target? They would shoot if someone is close to the right room - Chishiya answered his own question. 

After a second he pulled out the phone and opened the camera app, zooming on the walls of the opposite floors. Analyzing the angle in which the bullets entered the room is on the...

♠♥♦♣

— Do I believe in the experiment? Not necessarily. But I do believe in the theory itself. — said Unmei, leaning over the balcony. The girl with the short dark brown hair has just climbed over the railing to the upper floor, a salvo of bullets behind her, moments before she begged an older lady to change the floors with her.

— Morphogenetic fields are confirmed to exist by science. Besides, you're a Scorpio.

Blue ducked behind the half-wall, covering his ears in panic. Shaggy, despite the stern 'no' he heard from Hawaii, rushed to help Blue. Unmei tilted her head, paying close attention to them. Chishiya and her both answered the question about the safe room at the same time. Getting there was the problem.

— Hey everyone! — shouted Shaggy, revealing himself for a second. — Let's tell each other where the tagger is! We will find the safe room together!

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō furrowed his brows and shot an irritated glance towards Unmei - then his gaze snapped to the girl that was prepping for a run in the lobby. Looks like it wasn't a run, but rather a quick climb around the complex. She was hanging from one of the balconies now.

— Ideal moment for discussing scientific theories. — he said ducking back behind the balcony, when a salvo of bullets flew their way.

Chishiya's eyes wandered towards the lower levels where the two young men were running about, and soon one of them spoke inviting all of the participants to work together. And he was right, there was no way Chishiya and Unemi could clear the game by themselves in the time which was left.

— Second floor, northern corner! — Chishiya shouted leaning over the balcony just to be greeted by 9mm bullets again.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei hid behind the wall, her head low, almost between her knees, as she squatted. She didn't come out when Shuntarō decided to get a look at the tagger yet again, only to hear him shout. She quickly put her hands on his head, pushing it down, pulling on his hair. It worked best, she knew it really well from her own experience.

Unmei held him like this for a second, their foreheads touching - she had to use her body weight to make sure he ducks on time, before a bullet makes its way into his skull. She held him in place for a few more seconds, not letting go, as to make sure he's not gonna get up.

— As I said, — she hissed, her voice barely audible from gunshots. — Don't get in my way. What do you think you're doing?

Her once ice-cold eyes were now ablaze, burning their way through Chishiya right into his non-existent soul. It was a scream-whisper, and as she let go, she started moving, her body as low as possible, knees on the rugged concrete. That'll leave bruises, for sure.

five minutes remaining.

— We'll take care of the tagger! — shouted Beach member number one, and as Unmei took a quick look around her surroundings, Hawaii responded. — You guys find the safe zone!

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō laughed maybe a bit too loudly when his hair got snatched and pulled down by Unmei, then for their foreheads to touch - the woman not letting go of the clump of strands she clinged to, hissed at him through clenched teeth while Chishiya was still laughing in her face - literally.

— Mind the hair. — Shuntarō said through his giggling, then his demeanor changed drastically, his eyes became emotionless and a twisted grin appeared on his face.

— You are very annoying, you know? If you want me out of your way, sure. How about we bump up the difficulty level then?

He leaned over the balcony again and shouted to get the horse-head's attention, then got up and sprinted to the elevator, barely ducking through a barrage of 9mm bullets leaving marks in the wall behind him. His pulse was up, he was ecstatic, he finally felt something - anger, passion, the thrill of life. He had five minutes, the shout should give him at least a few seconds before the horse-head appears on the highest floor. He took Unmei's shoe that was stuck in the door - clicked the floor he last saw the horseman on and exited the elevator.

He then turned to Unmei and waved at her.

— Have fun! — he shout-whispered to the girl before turning around and sprinting down the staircase to the 4th floor.

[thecousinsdangereux]

Hi I love your bigger in the morning fic (or nuns can fuck au ) i was wondering if you could expand just a little on how other religions deal with the letter delivery origins? Either way the fic is amazing and I can’t wait for more

Thanks so much! I probably won't get too too much into this in the fic, just because... the story is already going to be long enough and I do actually want to focus on Avatrice lol (Though I'm never quite sure what a chapter is actually going to look like before I start writing, so who knows!) In general, religion is this AU is really geographically based, because religions sort of formed around Letter delivery machine locations. You can sort of assume that the major world religions follow a theology at least loosely based on their real-life counterparts, but there are some differences, as a result of the specifics of the AU (for example, since even the early versions of Letters """""legitimized"""""" queer folks in a variety of ways, the one man one woman stuff is not a thing).

To answer your question specifically, I can give a few examples of how I imagine a few different theologies incorporating/explaining Letters. If I was going to write about this specific part of the universe in great detail, I'd have to reach out to a lot of people to better understand the historical and theological implications (because I am definitely not an expert), but since this is just background info for a fanfic, these are more general, vague thoughts, so... grain of salt and whatnot!

AU Ancient Greek polytheism explains soulmates or Letters (such as they were, back then) in a similar way that Plato did in The Symposium, with humans originally being created with "four legs and a head with two faces" but then Zeus (bitch that he is) fears their power and splits them into two separate parts, which made up a match pair of soulmates. It was Aphrodite (with the help of Eros and others) who was working behind the scenes to deliver messages to help people find their other half.

AU Buddhism still does not believe in God/gods in the traditional sense, so they do not believe the Letters are God-ordained, specifically, but more a result of the universe recognizing individual connections that occur time and time again throughout multiple-lives. Basically, a soulmate is a relationship carrying over from one lifetime to the next. A lot of religions that believe in the concept of reincarnation state that it's connected to the creation of soulmates, in one way or another. There are people who never do receive a Letter, and these are considered new souls who haven't had a chance to form a connection with another soul.

For AU Islam, their equivalent of the Quran still includes the concept of 'of everything We have created pairs', including individuals. There is a heavy spiritual component to soulmates, as in, a soulmate is someone who a person connects with on a spiritual level. They still believe in the oneness of God, and Letter delivery still comes back to Him and the concept of His creating (soul)mates. In general, most monotheistic religions do claim that it's God Himself who is creating the Letters.

There's an off-shoot "religion"(/cult) in the US that states that the Letters that most people receive are government fakes and only 'true believers' (who have coincidentally donated hundreds of thousands of dollars) have cleared themselves and can access their True Letter, which is delivered by an alien lifeform. Rest assured, these people do not have access to a Letter delivery machine.

One major difference between the world in this AU and ours is that different regions/religions have to work together a lot more, simply for practical reasons. A person of one religion (or no religion) receives their Letter based on where they are geographically located, which thus may be from a different religion than what they practice, but that doesn't make their Letter illegitimate in the eyes of whatever their religion is, which means all religions sort of have to come to terms with the notion that their God(s)/Universe/etc. 'thinks' it's okay for these people to be thinking about Him/Her/Them in the way that they do, because they were able to create the machine in the first place, which can only operate under 'divine' instruction.

In general, Letter delivery looks similar in pretty much all religions because their machines are exactly the same in specs, and honestly, whenever one religion makes an advancement in standard Letter delivery (a delivery that doesn't require the OCS), the others tend to follow suit. There's a LOT more bureaucracy in modern day religions and a LOT more connection with government, just because of the collaboration/regulation needed to actually deliver like... hundreds of thousands of letters/day, worldwide. When it comes to the special cases, like we see Beatrice handling, things are obviously done a bit differently. In this universe, the OCS isn't actually attached to Catholicism (or the equivalent of it), because their purpose is to deliver Letters that don't have an easy recipient, which tends to take them all over the place geographically. You might have a Letter originate in England, but then need to be delivered in the US, for example. Or maybe a Letter will make it's way to Spain, but it ends up being delivered in Portugal. ;) There are a lot of reasons for why this happens, but I think they might be considered spoilers, so I'll leave it at that, for now. The OCS is still made up of holy women, but not just 'nuns' in the Catholic sense; holy women of various religions make up its ranks. Thus, the Spain branch of the OCS looks a lot different from the Thailand branch, but their purpose is the same.

[absolutely-olivegarden]

GHGRGHGRHRGHGRHGRHRGHRGHRGRGRHRGRHGHRGRRHRHRGRHRGRHRGHR

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt — sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.

In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this inconsequential town more than any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen. That was the year I finally put my foot down; these past three summers, my dad, Charlie, vacationed with me in California for two weeks instead.

It was to Forks that I now exiled myself— an action that I took with great horror. I detested Forks.

I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun and the blistering heat. I loved the vigorous, sprawling city.

"Bella," my mom said to me — the last of a thousand times — before I got on the plane. "You don't have to do this."

My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines. I felt a spasm of panic as I stared at her wide, childlike eyes. How could I leave my loving, erratic, harebrained mother to fend for herself? Of course she had Phil now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be food in the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she got lost, but still…

"I want to go," I lied. I'd always been a bad liar, but I'd been saying this lie so frequently lately that it sounded almost convincing now.

"Tell Charlie I said hi."

"I will."

"I'll see you soon," she insisted. "You can come home whenever you want — I'll come right back as soon as you need me."

But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise.

"Don't worry about me," I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Mom."

She hugged me tightly for a minute, and then I got on the plane, and she was gone. It's a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks. Flying doesn't bother me; the hour in the car with Charlie, though, I was a little worried about.

Charlie had really been fairly nice about the whole thing. He seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him for the first time with any degree of permanence. He'd already gotten me registered for high school and was going to help me get a car.

But it was sure to be awkward with Charlie. Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose, and I didn't know what there was to say regardless. I knew he was more than a little confused by my decision — like my mother before me, I hadn't made a secret of my distaste for Forks.

When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I didn't see it as an omen — just unavoidable. I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun.

Charlie was waiting for me with the cruiser. This I was expecting, too. Charlie is Police Chief Swan to the good people of Forks. My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.

Charlie gave me an awkward, one-armed hug when I stumbled my way off the plane.

"It's good to see you, Bells," he said, smiling as he automatically caught and steadied me. "You haven't changed much. How's Renée?"

"Mom's fine. It's good to see you, too, Dad." I wasn't allowed to call him Charlie to his face. I had only a few bags. Most of my Arizona clothes were too permeable for Washington. My mom and I had pooled our resources to supplement my winter wardrobe, but it was still scanty. It all fit easily into the trunk of the cruiser.

"I found a good car for you, really cheap," he announced when we were strapped in.

"What kind of car?" I was suspicious of the way he said "good car for you" as opposed to just "good car."

"Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy."

"Where did you find it?"

"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?" La Push is the tiny Indian reservation on the coast.

"No."

"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Charlie prompted.

That would explain why I didn't remember him. I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.

"He's in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued when I didn't respond, "so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap."

"What year is it?" I could see from his change of expression that this was the question he was hoping I wouldn't ask.

"Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine — it's only a few years old, really."

I hoped he didn't think so little of me as to believe I would give up that easily. "When did he buy it?"

"He bought it in 1984, I think."

"Did he buy it new?"

"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties — or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly.

"Ch — Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic…"

"Really, Bella, the thing runs great. They don't build them like that anymore."

The thing, I thought to myself… it had possibilities — as a nickname, at the very least.

"How cheap is cheap?" After all, that was the part I couldn't compromise on.

"Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift." Charlie peeked sideways at me with a hopeful expression.

Wow. Free.

"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car."

"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at the road when he said this. Charlie wasn't comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him. So I was looking straight ahead as I responded.

"That's really nice, Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it." No need to add that my being happy in Forks is an impossibility. He didn't need to suffer along with me. And I never looked a free truck in the mouth —or engine.

"Well, now, you're welcome," he mumbled, embarrassed by my thanks.

We exchanged a few more comments on the weather, which was wet, and that was pretty much it for Conversation. We stared out the windows in silence.

It was beautiful, of course; I couldn't deny that. Everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered with moss, their branches hanging with a canopy of it, the ground covered with ferns. Even the air filtered down greenly through the leaves. It was too green — an alien planet.

Eventually we made it to Charlie's. He still lived in the small, two-bedroom house that he'd bought withGHZGGRRGHRHGRHRGRHGGRRHRGHRGRGHGRGHRGRH

I don’t even know how to respond

[strawberry-jan]

im reading your isshin fic series and let me just tell you that i looove all the extra research notes, it helps bring so much color and understanding to the world <3 had to skip the last two chapters in the secret history of saito hajime (haven't actually played the game yet and the spoiler warning scared me but once i do!! i'll get back to it!!) but what i've read has been just marvelous. you have such a lovely style that feels like a gentle river carrying you from one destination to the next so smoothly and easily. maguro-san is my absolute favorite bit. thank you for your work and i hope you have fun while writing, be it for isshin or any other source material! <33

Ohh, wow, thank you for stopping by my inbox to say this! I hope you enjoy Ishin once you have a chance to play it. (The third story in my series takes place after the credits roll and it spoils allllll sorts of things from the late game, so definitely don't read that yet!)

Out of all the games in this series, mainline and spinoffs, Ishin holds a special place in my heart because - at the risk of sounding kind of corny - my desire to play it and write things about it got me doing all sorts of other things that were enriching in their own right and that reinforced my fondness for the game in turn. I first encountered it when a friend streamed the original Japanese version for another friend to live-translate for us, and I fell in love so quickly and completely that I had already ordered a copy for myself before the stream ended. Not long after that, I decided that I'd finally do what I'd been talking about for years and start learning Japanese so that I could at least read the menus, and I'm still studying today. The business of writing fic for it has also pushed me to do all sorts of fun research; I'm planning to make a post on here with all my sources once I've wrapped the fic up. (I would also like to do a big illustration for the series, but it's been a while since I last plugged my tablet in, so we'll see.)

All of this is to say: I'm having a ton of fun writing for it - particularly the most recent chapter - and it makes me very happy to hear that people are enjoying reading my work and the thousands of words' worth of endnotes that accompany it. It's been a bit lonely writing for Ishin at times, because it feels like it sort of came and went within a few months in the English fandom and fics about it sink pretty quickly to the bottom of AO3's pond, but that's also been a bit freeing. Even when I'm writing the fandom's Big Ship, it's in a context where there aren't that many eyes on my work, so I feel like I can just do whatever, and the people who are here for Ishin will be here for all of that. Spend the whole first part of a chapter talking about Edo-era laundry-washing? Translate a bunch of corny 19th-century haiku? Shove in a weird side rarepair that like one other person on AO3 has written about? No problem!

Anyway, thank you again! It made my evening to see this in my inbox. <3

[kidmachinate]

Full Circle

We've come back around at this point to the whole titles of this blog and why it was created. Last year was rough. I suppose this is the year in summary post I referenced on Facebook, so here we go.

Last year, all of the following that I can recall (but certainly not limited to) all took place in the same year.

- Hand was forced and had to get a used car after spending thousands on my old one to try and keep it.

- Took more responsibility for my current living situation where we have had to deal with employment lapses.

- Multiple occurrences of work related mental anguish

- Facebook account hacked and tried for months to recover it with no luck

All of this is just off the top of my head. It was rough mentally and financially mostly. Typical life stuff. Nothing crazy, right? Sure as hell felt heavy and this is just the stuff I can remember. A few of these have carried over into this year and it just won't do. This is a new year and I have new goals.

To be forgotten, ignored, unheard, no one wants this. Not from anyone in any relationship capacity. How many times can you be ignored, stonewalled, or kicked while already down before a person says that's enough. The exit strategy isn't always easy. I'm all for mental peace but it truly isn't as simple as sometimes people make it out to be. Give yourself a timeline. Be honest with yourself. If things didn't change over the course of the last few days, months, years, what is your real shot of it changing? It could change down the line, but you're left "holding the bag" as they say until people figure it out...or worse, don't ever figure it out.

You shouldn't ever subject yourself to this kind of torture or abuse. I'm putting that out there because why sugarcoat it? While I will say there is good to be had in many scenarios and/or lessons to be learned, eventually there's a turning point. You have to go because you just can't take any more. It's never personal. Heck, say it's you, not them if you must...but you know damn well it was them. I'm all for fighting for what you're worth but as you continue down a path where things are stagnant, you start questioning yourself. What are you doing wrong? Probably something. Is this a human mistake that can be corrected, or does it become a bigger ordeal? Does it prevent growth? We all want to grow, right? This blog is all about refusing to go hollow and frankly, it had to be pointed out to me to realize how bad it actually was..so here we are.

Let's shift gears. If you're with a loved one and they forget you all of a sudden, that sucks, obviously. This happens to Freya in Final Fantasy IX and she has to live with that pain. Is it the same or worse if someone knows you're there, but just doesn't acknowledge you? No care for your feelings. No touch. No affection. Nothing. Is that much different? I'd say not or make the debate it could even be worse. While I won't be the judge of one struggle vs the other here, the overall point is, in a state where you are indeed forgotten, it is gonna take a real strong bond to repair what is in shambles or broken. There has to be effort however on both sides. If one gives it all and the other person isn't hearing it, it's time to walk quicker than it takes for Mike Tyson to knock you out in Punch Out!!. For the average person, this is probably less than a minute for context, since he will one shot you. Three punches, TKO. Done deal. All in less than a minute and the in game "seconds" are quicker than real seconds. In short, GTFO (get the fuck out).

Sometimes, a healthy relationship can't be had no matter what you do. You can fight all you'd like. It won't matter. Cut your losses and set yourself free again. Whatever that may take. When your own thoughts start to scare you, that's a clear sign. Whoever or whatever is keeping you, it's time to burn the bridge and never look back. It's not fun either, to tell so many different versions of the same tale of fighting against what isn't right for your mental being. The issue is there is so much stacked against you. I implore you to make sure you have the right people in your corner. There is a ton of value in this and what you may need to push past troubled times. A good therapist is also a huge benefit, in person or online. The choice (and power, as I hear) is yours. Tell someone you love them today.

If forgotten, do you feel valued? If so, it might be worth fighting for. If you do not, take the hint. Adios.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

Was wondering if you had anything new to share about the genderbend AU? Also I love how you play around with Ailette and Tesilid’s respective roles as protector and damsel sorta and give them a twist/more intensity in this AU.

UEUEUEUEUE thank you for asking about it!!! ive been busy the past 2 weeks so i haven't had time to have any new brainrot about it and what new thoughts i have are very much in their early stages and might get scraped completely.

so i’ll maybe just talk about my conceptualisation of tesilette under cut! and some about reed/ailett too

---

One of my favourite parts of s class heroine is how tesilid clearly plays the narrative role of damsel in distress (what with him being constantly saved and dependent on ailette for his safety and social status) but he still nonetheless has a lot of agency in the narrative because of all his secrets. I think I subconsciously tried to include more of this element of Tesilid having his own mind by making Tesilina have a more utilitarian view about her relationship with Ailett. As with canon, she has to work within the constraints of what the world forces her into, but she's still thinking a lot about what she should do and about how much she hates it.

LIKE. I’m a little insecure about how i made tesilett's r/s because it's a LOT less sweet than canon and that was one of the best parts of canon. But I do really like it??

The way I came up with it was:

okay if we're going to do a genderbend and not have it be a boring rehash of canon, then gender MUST have an important role to play

> this means that gender roles and the patriarchy would be terrible, moreso than I assume it is in canon (where gender is never an issue for Ailette and Bianca becoming knights or heiresses)

> sorry Tesilina…. this means worse sexual harrassment and gender roles…

> this means that the way other people view Tesilette would definitely change

and so that's how I arrived at Tesilina leaning way harder into making their relationship seem legit in the eyes of others. In a world where people policed women's behaviour more, people would already make assumptions about her that she can never truly debunk. I think that after so many lifetimes of working within her Restrictions, it's very natural for her to also make the best of this constraint. In canon Tesilid sometimes talks about trying to escort Ailette or living up to the role a knight, because gender roles. Here Tesilina instead goes *swoon* sir knight, sir saint, are you not going to catch me… (pleading eyes).

Tesilina's the girl who pretends to fall wrong and twist her ankle so a certain someone has to carry her. (Except with her luck she actually does twist it. Or maybe she actually twists it on purpose bc what the hell, Ailett can heal her anyway. It's morbidly fascinating to finally have someone who rushes to heal her. Seeing the almost frenzied concern spring on Ailett's face is heady. It's foreign. It's almost like Tesilina is doing this just to check that Ailett is still here by her side and will still heal her.)

((It's not something Tesilina has ever really done with anyone else. Few others have ever prioritised Tesilina's well-being to this extent. And it’s been a few thousand years since she felt the need check if Hestio and Ephael cared for her – she has the opposite problem for them, really, because she's forced to see how much they are willing to go through for/because of her CONSTANTLY throughout her regressions. Ailett had disappeared for all of that long, long time. She has to check if this is still real.))

I'm just like. HGNFHGNGHGNGHNG.

I don't have solid plans for where I'm going with this. I think it's something that would probably write itself out depending on how I actually write their dynamic… in the very unlikely event that I actually try to write fic for this.

But my very vague roadmap after this stage is that Tesilina eventually starts to become more secure in her relationship with Ailett (think the parts in canon where Tesilid starts to refer to her by nickname, and the fountain of life moment). And when she finally leaves crisis mode, she starts being able to realise that hey uhhh maybe that was a little manipulative. haha. nervous gulp. and a lot of guilt.

I think I can't really plan the fallout much because I don't have the blueprint from canon where Ailette finds out about his secrets too. But tbvh I think Ailette would forgive Tesilid for anything. In all worlds. Look at her trying to redeem Reed even after the Magic Republic burst, even though she herself counted the fatalities in i think the thousands and thought to herself that he was now past the point of no return.

But I think I might need to reread canon and try to do an Ailette character analysis 😔 I don't have a grasp on her character voice at all… It's really hard for me to write her.

I think Hestio and Ephael would definitely play important roles, because in this AU their busybodies whose lives are very enmeshed with Tesilina's. It's probably very disorienting for them because it's clear to them that Tesilina is falling for/has already fallen for Ailette, but she's still being very calculative and utilitarian about things and setting their relationship up for failure with all her lies, and they don't even understand why she's lying so much in the first place because (to them) it's so very out of character.

Anyway, in terms of actually new things I cooked up: Reed is now legitimately trying to kill Ailett. Haha. None of the “it’s enchanting how your eyes turn gold” and “i want you to fall to where i am” shit, Ailett and does not get out of this without major injuries. The instant he brought up Hestio and Ephael the kid gloves were off, and the instant he brought them to his frontline division he got on Reed’s hitlist.

Reed is truly going through it though. Unlike canon, Reed is a bundle of raw nerves and is incredibly sensitive because she just wants herself and her friends to stay dead already. Canon Reed turns Ailett down because he wants to burn the world down. Reed here turns Ailett down because he clearly doesn’t understand or align with her priorities, and she does not believe a happy ending is possible.

Please someone give her a hug she is so lonely.

Like she is doing all this for her friends but she can't even talk to them about it. The only person who knows the most about her regressions is now her biggest enemy.

Anyway the huge difference in 117 and 100th’s attitudes towards Ailett just makes me gnhghgnghgnghng because it’s just because Reed is in absolutely crisis mode rn and is unable to let her guard down. The right person at the wrong time. Slides down the wall. Tesilina is trying to put a ring on Ailett's finger and Reed is trying to kill him.

I might change this dynamic development later on bc this is literally at the earliest draft stage. But I like the idea of Reed/Ailett dynamic being like "who the fuck cares about some man I have my friends to worry about" and Tesilette being like "yeah we're going to lean into gender roles to get that bread"

[femmeofthevalley]

HOT TAKE (tw taylor swift)

Last year in July, my lovely wife thought not legal or actually real as of right now girlfriend bought us TS tickets.

It's the eras tour, it's all encompassing of her music. It's been a dream to see her live since I found her at 11. For me, it's once in a lifetime opportunity affordability wise and I had a theory she might take a break from music and this tour would be a temporary far well and being grateful to her fans for where she is.

We are (were?) planning a road trip to New Orleans to see her and thinking of outfits and pit stops we have to go to.

But I've felt differently about her after the devastation to our planet with her jet rides and absolute silence on the ongoing genocide in Palestine that gets worse by day. Also she's a billionaire now, and as we all know, there no ethical way to achieve that. That she sits here churning new special versions after people spent hard earned money on the previously "new" version. The fuck ass expensive merch that has degraded in quality and creativity. And with that money could donate to Palestine in like an hour and save thousands of lives - after she's paid her staff and employees that are in one way or another associated by her and her brand. If she said one sentence in favor Palestinian lives her swarm of "swifties" would support and donate what they can in an instant. Maybe even skip on merch to give that money towards someone's escape and survivability.

But nonetheless I wanted to go to this concert of music that has carried and spoken to me for.... I'm 22 now so that's literally a decade. I am limiting engagement on social media, don't plan on buying merch anymore. Also the Tourtured Poets department merch line was terrible.... and frankly most of the album. But still fucking catchy unfortunately though my gf and I really thought she might finally brave something new and different. And after the concert I would limit my engagement even more and not listen to any music from then on - probably burning cds or pirate.... ing so I don't continue to stream or buy her music I do still enjoy.

But this "updated" Era Tour to include TTPD...... an absolute fucking shit show. I've already spoken (i think) on the immature and frankly horrible way she is handling and portraying the end of her 6(?) year relationship. And the light she is painting about Joe Alywn and allowing even more encouraging the harassment, mistreatment and threats to his life and/or safety. Because people change and grow apart sometimes, and that almost always means a split.

But to rewrite the narrative of Lover, in color scheme in outfits and playlists. To just disregard the six years they had together, their support for each other over that time. To taint all the lover tour outfits in reds and golds?! To shorten the already short Speak Now set? Cutting tolerate it of Evermore which was also condescend with folklore!

All for the sake of throwing the newest album? Someone else pointed out that she could have shorten the albums that have already gotten their respective tours (Fearless, Speak Now, Red, 1989) I will credit with an @ and quote when I find it again.

An album that didn't even peak mainstream. It broke records, sure and got good numbers. But no one outside of her kiss assers cared. And I will admit, I've been listening to select few songs until I can acquire them in methods that doesn't fund her ego even more.

Anywayyyy extremely disappointed in her career and the true colors she showed after Evermore came out. I've defended her in her toughest times. Still criticizing in a healthy way (after years of being a kiss asser). Introducing her to people who knew her for one corney love song and never bothered with more. People who would ask why I enjoy her music so much or about her to me of course. I've been excited for every new venture (breaking into the pop world with 1989).

Supporting her Taylor's Versions, believing she has every right to own her music, her memorabilia and processing of understanding each new good or bad even in her life. As I think all artists should. But, I do think after Red TV, she might have started doing it as a cash grab rather than wanting to have the rights to her life story. My view on that has been proven with how short the release for Speak Now TV was. The 5 song vault tracks on 1989 TV. I personally love them all, but from a standpoint of story telling and music quality..... they didn't do all that much for 1989 TV and she could have decided against vault songs for that record.

I learned guitar just to learn her songs!!! I asked for a $500 dollar guitar for Christmas at 16/17. I wanted it to be unique and resemble hers a little bit as an homage and thank you to her. I didn't go as far as naming that guitar after her, but I considered it for a short time. Which by way isn't she so pretty?! She sat in a music store my sister and I started piano lessons at in CDMX. I would spend any free time staring and lingering at this beauty for like 2 months. She went unpurchased the whole time, waiting for me. Though she was displayed in a spot which constant sun so the front the body isn't as pale as it should be. But she's soooo beautiful, sun damage and all :)

So, high likelihood that my girl and I will sell out tickets and use that money towards a different trip we won't be disappointed, underwhelmed, less excited about than before concert we honestly might regret going to afterwards. With the way things are looking of her current Paris set list. I mean...... she cut tolerate it!!!!! I didn't have a full appreciation for that song until I saw it live at the Eras Tour movie I purchased tickets to, along with my girlfriend. And then did so again to take our 2 roommates to see the movie cus we knew they would have fun with some aspects of it - if not for the music itself.

Also I fucking hate So High School and Who's afraid of little old me as a grown 33 year old woman. Who is a billionaire.

TLDR:

I have reevaluated my love of her music and commitment to the latest album, the newest merch. Streaming the newest music video the second it releases. Singing her praises and my excitement for the all-encompassing-career that is the Eras Tour. Ongoing support and defense of her music since I was 11. A decade of my life, happiness, inspiration I had for her. The immaturity towards her break up with Joe Alwyn and lack of stance on asking her fans not to harass him, follow him in public, threaten to end his life in gruesome, criminal ways. I feel after a certain point her Taylor's Version were more about getting it over with, making a profit, and hopping to the next one. Disgusted by her complete choice to ignore and not care about Palestinan lives and livelihood. When she absolutely has the resources and funds to pay for their escape, even a good chunk of money to help them get their lives started up again in Egypt until the day they can hopefully, and rightfully, go back to their homeland. Fuck she could use her private jet to help deliver aid or maybe get near-death survivors of bombings that need life saving procedures and medical care that they don't have and/or being continually denied in Palestine. My girlfriend and I had tickets that we got July 2023, to go see her October 2024. On the less important note compared to the prior topic, completely changed the set list, mood/energy, and meaning to her and her fans of the Eras Tour set list as it was in 2023.

[piecake-dbd]

Lyra Weaver

Lyra stared blankly at the doorway of her room for several seconds, spooling down the content streams in her vision. She thought she heard a voice from outside her room. She blinked, turning her body toward the empty space. “What?” she mumbled to herself, voice quietly carrying through the silence.

Her room was a sanctuary, a private space filled with floor-to-ceiling stacks of cold data storage lining most of one wall. She was alone, no parents nor roommates to interrupt her or offer unsolicited advice.

She shook her head, her thoughts returning to the new program at the Academy. She wasn't famous, didn't even have a thousand subscribers. But they weren't looking for famous people, they were looking for people who had been doing memory casting since before the Boundary was turned on. It was not clear to Lyra yet why this mattered. There were very few people left alive who lived before The Boundary, and of them she was probably one of the only dozen or so individuals who recorded the entire time.

Lyra sighed, her gaze falling on her data towers. The rows and rows of them lining her walls. She knew her content was garbage, but she had so much of it recorded. Lyra had been doing this for a long time. Was it really worth trading her life's memory to the Academy for training and allies though? Did she even have a shot?

A sudden thought made her groan loudly. She would have to pay an administrative fee to have her application expedited and put into the current pool. Otherwise she would be waiting yet another year. It felt like a bribe, and she didn't like it. But she also knew the odds of stopping Thomas without help were slim, and it felt like time was running out.

Her Loopback recorder clicked and notified her that one of her data stores had filled up and she was now down to just a single empty drive. The memory of her internal debate blinked and the system asked if she wanted to commit the newly filled block to cold storage. She nodded, triggering her user agent to go ahead and carry out the task of compressing and storing her memories. They would later get spooled out into one of her projections and serve as content for her subscribers after she had scrubbed any private details.

She closed her eyes and placed both palms over them to block out all the light. She needed to mentally prepare for this, to figure out how to navigate this new opportunity.

Lyra sat there in the darkness of her palms, memories running rampant through her mind. James holding her hand tightly, both of them covered in blood from the blade she drove into his chest. His words and gaze piercing through the moonlit night of The Boundary. "I guess I'm going back to hell," he said. Her blood ran cold. She knew in a few moments he would be sent back to Collu-Ku and the years would begin slipping away. "James, I'm so sorry. I'll come find you when I make it out," she said quickly. "Stop- don't apologize. None of this is your fault," he said. "I'll figure out where Evelyn went. You kill that bastard." She couldn't stop herself from crying. Lyra started to reply but her words fell on dead ears. The darkness of the alleyway closed in around her, waiting for her to leave so that it could take stewardship of her friend's body. His mind was now waking up outside The Boundary. How long had it been already since he died in front of Lyra? A week? She was losing precious time with every passing minute.

A wave of panic rolled over Lyra and she opened her eyes, returning to her room. Her mind reeled with derealization as she quickly grasped for stable ground. "You're awake, you're still Lyra," she said to herself. The impending feeling of doom which hung over her head was rearing its ugly head; telling her that tomorrow has come. A tomorrow with no one else but her. Every human withered away, a demon-haunted world full of machines who all mimick the souls of her friends and loved ones. Puppet string people, dolls all dancing to the same delusional signals in a masquerade of humans. The tomorrow she fears was already long past.

With tired eyes, she stared at what appears to be a still-frame video feed. It's a drone deep in The Boundary with a thousand times zoom lens keeping Thomas in its sight and feeding the video back all the way to Collu-Ku. He was currently in the middle of setting his left foot down, a position he'd been standing in for the last week. A few seconds for Dr. Old were endless ages for Lyra now.

Lyra began to pace around her room, bargaining with herself to just give up. The idea of going back into The Boundary made her feel sick. Lyra stopped at her apartment window and placed a hand on it. The cool glass matched the feeling of ice in her chest.

She had no allies left, not even herself. Lyra drifted so far through time that her own copy in the Outer Mind now worked against her. James was tied up with confronting the Other Lyra, at least what was left of James after a million years in the machine. She could barely stand to face him, let alone talk to him, with how much guilt she carried.

Even if there was somebody willing to go back in, could she in good conscience ask anyone to do that? To throw away everything, even their own self? Who would be insane enough to do such a thing and still be trusted to kill Thomas Old?

"You will find them, Lyra. Just keep preparing; it's all you can do," she said out loud to herself. Lyra sulked away from the window slowly to find something to drink while she worked on her application to the Academy. Going there was a shot in the dark, but that was all she had right now.