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yaekiss · 1 year

Note

*crawls in here again* hi qi! for #mailroom open, I'm sending my letter to yan!zhongli. I'll take any gender neutral/masc nicknames, and I'm writing in meme 2. oh, and nsfw reply please lkjhdfg cheers to 400!

My dearest, Zhongli

I'm writing to you under the moonlight of Sumeru. There's... as much to say as the forest is vast. On my travel to the city, a kind forest ranger had given me directions to lodge with a pair of men while I stay. They remind me of you, actually, if you were split in two. They're both quite knowledgeable, being alumni from the Akademiya, but one has a more calm temper like yours, and the other has more refined taste.

I've had a lot of fun here for the time being, but I miss you so. I must be transparent... I may have partaken in some drinks in their company once, a delicate, local vintage. Please forgive me my darling, you must know I'm prisoner to your heart. I wasn't in a clear state of mind as I... kissed them. That's as far as it went, I promise.

I'm sorry to end this on a sour note. And I'm deeply sorry for my actions. My precious, I'll do anything to show you you're the only one for me. All you need is ask.

Awaiting to be in your arms again, your Andi.

(along with the letter is a bouquet of Sumeru roses wrapped in paper and pink ribbon and a pair of handcuffs)

꩜ Letter Content: Dom! Top! GN! Reader x Yan! Sub! Zhongli, no gendered terms for reader, reader can be read as having a cock or a strap, polycule/polyamory (Zhongli, Alhaitham, and Kaveh are all mentioned in this), small mention of aphrodisiac but not used, possessiveness and unhealthy relationships, worshipping (reader receiving), biting (Zhongli receiving), snowballing, handcuffs (not used on reader), lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ Delivery Notes: I think you better check the contents of your box before bringing it back up to your room. I got some troubling reports from the staff in the mailroom... Tell me if anything is off, I'll be at the counter! ꩜ Wanna write a love letter yourself? Check out it out here!

A not-too-hefty box is passed to you in the hotel lobby when you return to rest for the night. Asked kindly by the staff to double-check its contents, you settle down on a nearby lounge chair before opening it up to inspect what’s inside.

You find a Liyuean tea set, fit for a group of four, the colour of the teaware a beautiful earthy brown, reminiscent of your dearest back in Liyue. In the hotel lighting, light bounces off the surface of the teacup you’re cradling in your hands and reveals an underlying pattern of sheer golden dragon scales. A breath. Oh. He crafted this himself.

Setting the cup back into its cushioned groove in the box, you pick up a sealed bag of tea leaves. Zhongli was the one to introduce you to mixing different types of teas to create a layered taste that you couldn’t find anywhere else. No one else knew your tastes quite like he did, always so frustratingly addictive. You read the attached tag, “An aphrodisiac blend of tea leaves, so I am not the only one left wanting.” That sly dragon, desiring you carnally even miles away.

Of course, no gift from Zhongli is complete without a letter. It’s a little strange that the envelope is not sealed properly, terribly unlike your lover to flub up. But he does seem to always forget to bring his wallet around, perhaps a mindless slip. You know how excited he gets when it comes to matters concerning you, so you chalk it up to enthusiastic forgetfulness.

After removing the letter from the box, you gently close the lid. His letter is written on paper with a stunning gold trim, one he reserves only for letters to you. The words are evenly spaced out, neat, pleasing to the eye (and maybe looking at his handwriting feels a little like coming home). His letter reads:

“In loving correspondence to my heavenly pearl,

First of all, it is simply wonderful to hear from you again, my pearl. It puts my mind at ease to know that you are still here, present, on Teyvat with me. I know not what I would do if I never heard back from you, I have lost too much, I cannot lose you too… Forgive me for being direct, it must be the aching longing to see you again.

Moving on, I suppose we must address the issue which you deem so pressing. I am sure you will be delighted to hear that I am no stranger to the concept of having multiple lovers, for you are simply just that magnetic, my pearl. This dragon has learnt to be more than generous over the countless millennia I have existed.

(The handwriting seems to get a little more compacted together starting from here, as if he’s growing increasingly frenzied the more he writes.) However, when it comes to you, I wish to be a little selfish. I’d love you to love me, most. I am willing to share but let the two see that only I can please you, that I was the first to capture your heart. Perhaps, if you allowed it, I could even restrain their hands as they watch on at the sight of you pounding into me, marking me up with bites that leave lasting marks. All while I can only hazily mutter out my reverent devotion towards you. How charming you must be, to have an archon grovelling at your feet. But my pearl, you deserve all of me and more.

Would you let me service you, pleasing you until you finish on my forked tongue, before I snake my way over to the two scholars, kissing the both of them? The only way they could ever taste you is through me alone. In my presence at least. Imagine how they would writhe and beg for you in their cuffs, their hard cocks straining against the fabric of their pants, yet they are unable to do anything about it, so pitifully close yet so far. You might call me sadistic, but the thought excites you, no?

(The handwriting returns to its usual normal spacing and formatting at the start of the letter.) …It seems that I have gotten too worked up, I shall leave my response at this. When you return, do bring your two loverboys in tow, yes? I look forward to meeting them.

Utterly yours,

- Zhongli -”

“Thought we’d find you here! What do you have there?” Kaveh’s voice rings out from before you. Looking up, Alhaitham and Kaveh greet you. Kaveh sports a blinding smile while Alhaitham’s face, although appearing neutral, radiates a sort of softness towards you.

“A reply from my lover in Liyue after I sent them a love letter recently.” Your eyes roving over Zhongli’s words in your hands again, you miss the way their eyebrows pinch slightly at how tenderly the words “love letter” rolled off your tongue.

“Is it the one with the brown tea set?” There’s a tinge of… something in Kaveh’s voice.

“Yes, he did send me a lovely-” Your mind stills. You’ve never mentioned anything about a tea set yet. The box is closed. The envelope was strangely open when you first took it out.

Your gaze snaps up to them, and they share a conspiratory glance before Alhaitham leans in, whispering lowly next to your ear.

“Kaveh and I were simply thinking we could get a… headstart on showing how much we want to worship you, our prince.”

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

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canine-teethed-sheets · 7 months

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hey everyone, i got some very important news, specifically on what's to happen to this blog soon!

please take your small time to read, as it is kinda important to me ^^

hello, hello!! it's me, tumblr user its-paperd, coming to you live with an important announcement!!

to put it very very simply, my entire blog will be on a VERY long hiatus, much longer than my usual 5 to 7 days kind

reason behind this is kind of personal, but it does kind of relating to school and grades. to put it simply, my grades haven't been going well and i admit, i have been getting addicted to this app a bit. too much hahah ^^"

now here's the thing, while i say it'll be a hiatus here, there would be a possibility of my blogs... getting deleted.

now don't panic!! i'm not exactly sure if it would happen but it might be a possiblity, so while my blog is still here, if there's anything you want to archive from my blog, it's best to take action and reblog some as soon as you can

get some of my spices, as you will kekek /silly

' oh, but paperd, you're taking this so well, don't you care about us? '

i do!! from the bottom of my heart, i do. it's just that it has been a long time coming, and it was inevitable that it would happen so i mentally prepared myself before i can give a proper goodbye ^^

with all of this happening, i can only think of parting words before i go radio silent

now things are gonna get sappy for me, kekeke <x'D

( moots i'm so sorry you have to learn about this this way <x| )

[ —-—-—-—-— ]

to my two bestest friends, @psycho-chair and @unknownarmageddon , the two members of the kross trio!! thank you both so much for being my friends, the moments we had in pony town will never be forgotten, and the memories we shared too. i appreciate you two being my besties, and i'm very sad to see myself go but to whatever that may come through, just remember guys!! keep being swag for me >:] live laugh kross forever ‼️‼️

to @jun1per-t33th !! my silly friend and amazing artist!! i always appreciate all the memes you sent to me, and your art is a banger every time!! ily so much, juni mwah mwah /p

to @justanidiotartist , my homie friend bud!! thank you for being my mutual, and all the art you made i have always been amazed, you keep being your fun, spectacular self, and take care!! :D

( honourable mentions, ily all so much <3 <3 /p : @the-arcade-doctor, @skelle404 , @corrupted-icarus , @karineverse , @captain-kretsnik , @sunnemona , @cherrio-krispz , @glitchysquidd , @socksandbuttons , @yuriyuruandyuraart , toka!! i see you >:] , other mutuals i've interacted!! you all are the best!! )

[ —-—-—-—-— ]

and with all that, my play of the show is done, but never over!! i will try harder for you all and hopefully, i can come back with pride and joy to you all!! thank you for your support, and i shall see you all again, whenever it may be!!

#tldr; i'm going on a long long hiatus ( with the possibility of my blog gone— ) and am saying good bye for now!!#i love you all so much /p and i thank every one of you for your endless support!!#it'll be unknown when i'll be back but just be ready alright!! just you wait >:] /silly #in all honesty i am very very sad i'll be gone soon but it might be my addiction talking cackles #until we meet again!! thank you and goodbye :]#( if this doesn't actually happen it'd be veerrryyy awkward whoops ejdbs )#buletinboard

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somethinabouttwistedwonderland · 6 months

Note

hi! hru? i'd like to request a twst matchup if it's possible!!

i am an entp 7w6, i'm often described as an eccentric, humorous, and a carefree person (it's just that i don't use my braincells that much)

i'm usually friendly, but you can get a reaction from me easily and i'll get into bickerings (i'll forget it off after 5mins in total)

my ass is quite guillble which makes me a perfect target when they lie for fun

i have a bad habit of procrastrating important matters and hanging around instead until there's no time left- i can be dense too

i'm a bit careless about myself which makes me get scolded often

so i think it'd be nice to have someone who'd put up with me-

when people around me say that they weren't in a good mood but it has gotten better because of me, like i did??? but that's the benefit from being the clown friend i see

i'm addicted to carbonated drinks

nature outings are my breather, especially if animals were in there

if someone gifts me food, i'll pledge my allegiance to them/srs

zoology is my fav topic!! especially penguins, i could blabber about them forever

my love language is quality time and sending u shitposts at 3am

i also like to gift them items that remind me of them

i am not used to affection that much (especially in words) so it always opens soft spots in me when they do yhat-

i like puns

ty!! i hope its not too long

I match you with....

ACE TRAPPOLA

This one seemed like you'd need someone who matches your energy, and Ace definitely fits the bill.

Ace is a prankster, a troublemaker, and all around a fun guy to be around, but if you don't keep up with his energy, he'll probably get bored. However, not to worry! Your gullible self will never bore him, finding it funny to play pranks.

Ace has had a girlfriend before, so he knows the basics of relationships. expect to be carried for this one if you don't know anything about them.

You and Ace can get into trouble together, play pranks together, and have an all around good time pretty much all the time. That doesn't mean the less "exciting" bits aren't just as fun, however.

Sending each other memes in the middle of the night is a love language both of you have and it will last until morning if you're not careful.

A relationship with Ace will more likely be akin to a good friendship if anything, but you'll get cute comments about how bad you look (you know that he means you look good).

To Ace, the perfect partner is someone who you can laugh and cry with, someone who will stick with you through all of the hard times. So he will be like that with you, and desperately hopes the same of you.

Ace sometimes can act a bit tsundere-ish when it comes to "true love", as shown in his suitor card SSR vignette. So if you tease him, expect a rather shy reaction from him.

All in all, I matched you with Ace due to the similar chaotic energy, and being able to never bore each other with your antics.

I hope you liked your match!! Thank you for the matchup request!!

other character(s) considered: Deuce, Kalim, Jade

#disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twst matchup #ace trappola #ace trapolla x reader #twst ace #twst ace x reader

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sleepy-aletheas · 5 months

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Well, about Penacony and the Dreamscape:

So, I chatted up Micah in Dreamflux Reef to get a sticker out of him, and got the fun fact that he is long dead! Which answers my previous question of how can Clockie be 500 and yet Mikhail was still kicking. He wasn't, not physically at least.

Which makes me wonder: Are the majority of people in Penacony just memoria of the deceased clinging to the present? I would assume a good chunk of outsiders are actually just there temporary for a visit before going back home, but are all natives just...not real? Maybe a few, but the rest is just an echo of someone that once was, or even is a collective or subjective memory of a person, like we saw with Lesley Dean through his obsessive fans, or of Coty by the obsessive desire by Morris? There is also Alley's twin sister Quinn that was accidentally killed by Alley.

Also through McCoy's clockwork quest, we find out what the Family members are willing to do to climb the ladder to reach the top. He killed his own siblings after all, and they were stuck in the dream as Memory Zone Memes ever since.

So, really, Penacony is shaping up more as a place of regrets and guilt than sweet dreams the more I talk to the NPCs. We get people that run away there to fulfill their life ambitions, that get to be healthy, that live past their deaths, that can be in relationships with people they never had...Many don't sleep for recreation, but for the escape it allows them.

And since I think SoulGlad is very suspicious, be it the original version or the one in the present, it's a hunch that the reason it's so addicting is because the more one indulges in it, the more they get tied to the dream and become one with it. Since the original SoulGlad made by Sousa had a now extinct ingredient of dreamleaf, who's to say that maybe during the prison times, SoulGlad was made as an escape to a better existence than what they got? It wasn't like they suddenly started collectively dreaming; it was gradual, building up.

And Micah did say when I asked him now about how hard it is to live in Dreamflux Reef, and he said something along the lines of "It is bearable, even if we have to fight the nightmares", so the whole Clockie Nightmareville and Dreamville make so much more sense - we got the "Real Penacony" in Dreamflux Reef where everything is so dreary, and then we get the "Penacony, Planet of Festivities" that are the twelve dreams.

This is just my elaborate way of asking: Is Penacony dormancy at its core? Is it the ideal escapism that people seek? Is that why the Family tries to hide the truth about Penacony, so that people can keep feeding the dream with their existence (as in, if they come near Penacony, then technically, they leave an echo in the memoria, and that just adds more fuel to it)? What is the deal with SoulGlad anyway?

(Maybe I'm going insane, that is also a possibility. Maybe I'm overthinking this. I mean, I will keep doing that, but, it's something to keep in mind for my yapping.)

#hsr spoilers #penacony theory #i'm running in circles at this point #dream/reality plots are such a headache to get through i love it

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billkaulitzwife · 1 year

Text

The Outsiders Reacting to A V4pe

Pony

Would definitely choke

"WHY IS IT COLD?"

"Why does it have flavour?"

He would be a nic fiend

He's probably the one who found it

Would like it because it's colourful

Wanted to break it to see what happens

Coughed a cloud while laughing and lets just say

that shit was funny as hell

Darry whooped his ass when he got caught

Resorted to it because he found out it was worse than cigs

Definitely almost died when he found a watermelon one

watermelon elf bar

Dallas

Most definitely tried to steal it

Has a collection of dead breezes

Got a fake ID just to buy a shit load

Didn't choke

(hes a trooper)

Did almost kill someone for taking it from him

Wanted a mango flavoured one

"What the fuck why does it got flavour, man?"

"It's called a what now?"

Shoved it up his nose and inhaled

Couldn't walk for a few seconds

bro was buzzier than the bees

Throws a fit when Addie hogs it

Mango watermelon breeze

Johnny

"It's pretty, but how do you use it?"

"ARE YOU DYING, WHY IS THERE FOG?"

Coughed up a storm

it shook the neighborhood.

Did a ghost his first try

FRENCH INHALER ALERT

He literally can't survive without it

Loves the peach flavoured elf bars

Found a dead one on the road and charged it but then Dallas stole it

what a dick.

Sucks at blowing O's

Couldn't stand from the buzz

Recharges everyone's❤❤

hes a life saver

Strawberry kiwi breeze

Addie

Is the one who found it and showed the gang

TOOK THAT SHIT LIKE A TROOP

"This is nothing like a Kool but I like it."

"WHERE'S MY V4PE."

Where's My J00l esque girl

Almost cried laughing at Pony choking

Took so many hits she blows clouds when she talks now

Had to hide it from Pony and Dallas

in a shoe box

under her bed

in the floor.

Great at ghosts and O's

the most sheet gripping ghosts come from this girlie.

Fell over from her first buzz💔

Peach elf bar girlie

Darrell

Tried to confiscate it from the twins

Laughed when Two-Bit blew a cloud while laughing

Tried talking and then died😭

yk the meme?

Thats Darry trying nic

Once bought a breeze pro from a soc but didn't know what it was

Probably prefers Novo bars

Drank water after taking a hit

ouch.

Didn't really care for the elf bars

Hates seeing Ads and Pony do it, breaks his heart fr.

"Alright no more!" -takes another hit-

"MY THROAT!"

Orange novo bar

Two-Bit

Also tried stealing it

Made the same mistake as Darry and drank cold ass water

pray for them.

Took a 15 second hit and almost died

Always asks for hits of Addie's when he forgor his at home or its dead

"Addieeee I'm your best bud pleasee!"

"Why is the tip warm?"

Couldn't breathe for a solid minute because bro didn't understand that shit IS COLD.

cried because he couldn't feel his throat

guys please pray for these kids their throats hurt

Stole Ponyboy's.

Definitely couldn't walk from the buzz

Blueberry mint breeze pro.

Steve

Didn't care for it but he ended up addicted

Always wondered why it was cold

his throat is sore

Grips onto his with his life

Never leaves the house without it

"I'm stealing this for a minute."

"I like the fog."

Dizzy as fuck his first buzz

Ripped a 15 second and screamed

YOWCH

Steve posted on Twitter asking where he could get one and a bunch of socs hit him up

Cries when his dies

But Johnny comes in strong

Coconut elf bar

Soda

Giggled a bit when he took a hit

Defo hesitant

Didn't wanna ruin his perfect lungs

But he takes hits of Addie's when he wants to

Which is like

literally never

Tried to break it because the sight of seeing his friends ruin themselves with addiction wasn't fun

But he pulled through and accepted it

Cried because his throat felt weird

Was addicted for about a week

but he came clean and he rarely ever does it

ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR SODA

WOOHOOO

Has always had his opinions on v4pes.

Shrugs off any offers unless it's a

drum roll please

...

ok thank you

grape novo bar

#darry curtis #steve randle #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #dallas winston #the outsiders 1983 #two bit mathews #the outsiders headcanons #greasers #adara curtis #vape #pray for their throats #the outsiders #outsiders headcanons #stay gold ponyboy #nothing gold can stay #stay gold

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your-sweet-cookies · 1 year

Note

🌈💻🌼🎙️📚🎀🥇📌🏆

𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻-𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑬𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺.

🌈 ― aesthetically pleasing blog

@prosopagn0sis - I always adored how Softie designed the layout of its blogs (be it its main or its RP blog), so it's definitely an ace when it comes to aesthetically pleasing blogs!

@kuinaoflight - There's something about how Elle knows how to choose the best quotes or images to adorn her Kuina RP blog with, that makes it simply amazing! This, along with the calming color pallet she's chosen for the background and text, make her blog a delight to look at and explore!

@hinataxsunshine - I always found Adrian's blog to be one of the nicest/cutest blogs ever! It just has something about it that speaks innocence and serenity, which fits perfectly the vibe of his OC, Hinata.

💻 ― excellent writing

@niragixpsych - Although she doesn't think her writing is any good if you ask her, Psych's talent in writing surpasses most expectations with the amount of thought and care she puts into every interaction. It's a true delight and pleasure to write with her and her blog is one I'll always recommend with the utmost happiness!

@aggwaseon - I love their writing because it's very versatile and detailed. You can tell the Mun puts a lot of effort into their threads, and even if lately they haven't been very active, I can guarantee you that this Mun right here knows precisely what they are doing and they are doing it with passion, dedication and care!

@kuinaoflight - Her talent at both writing Kuina as a character and stories in general is amazing! I always loved reading her threads and the amazingly well crafted answers to the RP memes that make even the most common of prompts feel uniquely written and personalized to the person who sent them. Looking forward to continuing reading Elle's amazing work and see how she'll continue improving even further! <3

@hoodedchishiya - There's a reason why this blog is my all time favorite Chishiya and that's because Alex's writing is usually 1000000/10, both when it comes to writing our favorite snarky cookie addict blonde and storytelling in general. I swear man, if I hear you say one more time that your writing sucks, Imma make it one of my to do list priorities to remind you daily that your writing is beyond excellent!

@artsspi - I really enjoy writing with them because they put a lot of thought and effort into each of their OCs and the threads we write together. I'm always looking forward to reading your replies!

@officerconners - The Mun does an excellent job at portraying Drake and every interaction is fun and captivating to read! They know how to write anything, from silly stuff to the most serious of action packed moments full of suspense!

🌼 ― creative headcanons

@niragixpsych - I always love reading Psych's rendition of Niragi and the headcannons she comes up with, they are very unique and interesting, especially since they add an extra layer of depth and complexity to NIragi's character, while also showcasing his human side.

@triggerhappymilitant - Nyx's headcannons about Niragi are another one of my faves when it comes to headcannons about Niragi. They are always interesting to read and I feel like she always manages to showcase Niragi's utmost essence in her own rendition of the character and its background!

@hoodedchishiya - If you want a fresh and unique version of Chishiya, this is the blog to seek. Again, just like his talent for writing in general, this man's creativity when it comes to reimagining Chishiya in a very unique, yet true to the core essence of the character, is baffling! I told you, I could listen to you ramble all day about your ideas and hcs about Chishiya and I wouldn't grow bored!

🎙️ ― great to talk to

@daikichixkarube - Karube's Mun is one of the most adorable and fun to talk to people I've ever met! I love talking to her on a daily basis and she always knows how to lift my mood or make me laugh! So she will always be one of my favorite people to talk to and one of my bestest of friends!

@niragixpsych - She's very supportive and I can count on her to always be there for me! When I'm sad, Psych will lift my spirits up; when I am stuck with a dilemma, she'll do her best to give me some suggestions and help the best she can; and her friendly talks full of affection will always warm my heart! I love you, don't you ever forget that!

@kuinaoflight - Full of life, sunshine and with the golden heart of an angel, Elle is a delight to talk with! She knows how to make a conversation fun, how to cheer you up or fuel your creative juices with her ingenuity! I especially love our fun conversations on our favorite TV shows and the funny things we come up with sometimes, like back when we put together a compilation of cat gifs and memes relating to the AiB characters!

@hoodedchishiya - We've had our differences and ups and downs, but once we got to know each other better, he's really a great conversation partner! Even if we don't talk much (and maybe sometimes I probably end up annoying him), he never fails to make me laugh, smile or feel better if I am upset. So no matter what other's might say, you are actually a great friend to have and a great person to talk to!

@twentyfourhourtitts and @hinataxsunshine - I put those two together because they are like siblings to me and I love our little funny conversations (which I really miss sometimes when our group chat falls silent for days on end).

@lillyontheborder - She's a new addition to my friends group, but I can assure anyone that Lilly is a great friend and a great person to talk to! She knows to listen to you and she will do her best to help!

@risa-of-spades - Risa has always been a great listener and supportive pillar of our community and for that I feel like I owe her an endless amount of gratitude and appreciation! She's always there to show her love and support to each and every one of us and if someone needs a shoulder to lean on, they can always count on her for that, as she'll never shun anyone away!

@officerconners - This Mun is a ray of sunshine and delight to talk to! Plus, they know how to give good advice when you need it! A great friend and an amazing conversations partner!

📚 ― nice threads to read

@niragixpsych, @aggwaseon, @artsspi, @triggerhappymilitant, @hoodedchishiya, @kuinaoflight, @officerconners - Mostly for the reasons stated above + some have really funny threads too along with the more serious threads in nature.

🎀 ― all-around kind person

Everyone mentioned previously. uwu Love you all! 💗

🥇 ― well-developed oc

I feel like everyone in this community that writes OCs do an amazing job in writing their characters, so it would be impossible to tag every single one of them. But even so, know that the AiB RP community has some of the greatest well-crafted original characters you'll ever meet!

📌 ― a staple on the dash

Everyone I mentioned thus far are staples on my dash and I wouldn't have it any other way!

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

Again, everyone I mentioned above are a 10/10 in my book: great people with great hearts, amazing talents, outstanding writing skills and are infinity/10 friends! And I want you all to know that I love each and every one of you! Never forget that! <3

#ooc interactions #ooc post #aib rp #aib roleplay #alice in borderland roleplay #alice in borderland rp #anonymous #blog shout-outs #ask mun

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taggedmemes · 1 year

Text

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ THE WOMBATS / B - Z Sides ( PART TWO ) always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

"I watch repeated wildlife shows to keep my mind ticking."

"I bought a book of Churchill quotes and I thought it might be interesting."

"At least it diverts attention from the things that we all know we should say."

"What a wonderful distraction you are."

"Our friends keep vanishing for their jobs in the city, then reappear as vacant ghosts with titles that no one understands."

"I hope my thoughts don't stray off topic again."

"Keep your feet grounded."

"This is not the time for grandiose."

"Something's not right here."

"The paint watches me as I dry here."

"The pain watches me as I waltz through this black hole."

"I don't feel violent."

"I feel somewhat enlightened."

"The best of us always seem to have the most downfalls."

"When did we get addicted to the cure?"

"Sometimes I get aggravated with my concept of time."

"I am still withdrawing from you."

"Our heads tell us to stop as our chests scream out for more."

"I can see an avalanche rushing towards me."

"Something's making that snow look so inviting."

"I miss the safety of home, but perhaps this is what I need."

"We're young, we're free."

"We're ultimately in denial."

"What's left to lose?"

"We never get what we want without hard work and big compromise."

"I'm not bitter all the time."

"It's not the sociopaths that scare me."

"I'll never get rid of this false endeavor."

"You're so infuriating."

"Was I that infuriating?"

"It's not the Illuminati that scares me, it's the people further down the ranks."

"The creatures like you that are so controlling."

"Rest assured, I'll be on my little-caped crusade."

"God knows that I don't hate you."

"My hand hovers over a button of self-destruct."

"I've lost something that was an integral part of me."

"How can I ignore someone that makes me so happy?"

"It's not impeccable wit that makes me smile."

"She had said something that made me fall to my knees."

"You were always the emo type."

"I don't care much for fashion or socialites."

"The nihilists always get my vote."

"All she ever wanted was a little direction."

"All she ever made where the worst impressions."

"I'm a robot like you."

"I'm a maze of coiling wires held together with glue."

"I'm an artificial man with some artificial plans."

"Instead I pondered my fate."

"I know there's something wrong deep inside."

"She's gonna try and suck my blood tonight."

"What are you gonna do to me?"

"Don't strip me of my dignity."

"Let's steer from trouble just as far as we can."

"Just look at what you've done to me."

"You've stripped my of my dignity."

"You've made a monster out of me."

"I'll wear a smile as she starts draining me of life."

"Just grant me one last request."

"I wanna go where the action is."

"What a beautiful night to be an unexploded bomb."

"Let's not apologize for who we are or what we've done."

"The worst battle is not the one fought."

"Let's hope there's no mirrors in the toilets tonight so we don't have to see what's really going on in our eyes."

"It's now cool to read fairytales as long as you rip out the end."

"Something unwelcome is moving in."

"You described me as a charming nowhere man."

"You must be sick of these rhyming metaphors."

"I've begged all that I can."

"You're a firing squad."

"Despair has its own calms."

"I remember those good old days, happily lost in my charmless nowhere place."

"The greatest fears stem from mum and dad."

"I just do the best with whatever I have."

"Don't resort to violence."

"There's more powerful tools to be found in silence."

"When did peace and love become police and handcuffs?"

"When push comes to shove, you've got to man up."

"I'm the mosquito on your wall and the doubt in your mind."

"Desperation does as desperation feels."

"You used to be my shelter from the storm."

"You were the only book to ever put me in a trance."

"I have more fun when I'm alone."

"This is relentless."

"You must think I'm a fool."

"Why the wandering eye?"

"Don't you know that it's not okay to be a narcissist."

"It's not okay to let me down like this."

"I'm her mosquito, she's my killer bee."

"Together we're something alone we can't be."

"Instead of going home, why don't you just come close."

"Let's see how far we can go."

"Let's see how lost we could be."

"I yearn to detox but I'm retoxing again."

"Don't compare me to them."

"I'd do anything for an easy life."

"Sense didn't help, sense left me blind."

"Fear and coconut water will always be my favorite blend of drink."

"Happy hour must end just as our darkest hours."

"Twist your knife deep into me."

"We're different creatures with similar needs."

"If we can't be kamikaze lovers, then we can never be friends."

"Now we're much too close to be driven apart."

"Why would I shake your hand when I can shake your bed?"

"Sometimes I dream of your sweet demise."

"Always playing the victim."

"You're a tormentor."

"You don't play well with others."

#rp memes #meme #memes #starter sentences #sentence starters #starter meme #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay

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sn4pozu · 1 year

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how Richard Trager uses Instagram (yes, he would use Instagram):

this is Pre-Engine Rick because realistically post-engine Rick would have other things to worry about besides instagram

30 stories a day, from dawn till dawn again this man is addicted to the layout

doesn't use stickers because hes a grown man BUT HE DOES HAVE A BITMOJI THAT HE USES RELIGIOUSLY

its half office reels, half food pics, and a quarter just rants

overuses tags to hell, even randomly mid sentence , example: "#Amazing day today at @MurkoffOfficial ! this #Work ain't doin itself 📋💻👍🏻 #Workday #Monday #Officeday #ADayInMyLife #Job"

sometimes thinks that Murkoff should totally have a social media account, he knows its dumb but he cant help wanting more followers 😔

"Suns out guns out! #Sunday with my bud @JeremyBlaireOfficial" and its a picture of them in a golf cart holding champagne (not gay, just besties)

Not to sneak in my RickJer agenda but in my minds eye they signed eachothers golf clubs

tags the location if he could he would

username is something obnoxious like 'RichardTragerOfficial' like nobody know u lil bro 😭😭😭

buys likes and followers to feed his ego

4k followers thats like 85% bots

" @McDonaldsOffical Never fails 😂😂😂 #hangovermeal #NoRegrets" and its a fish fillet with the most inhuman bite you've ever seen taken out of it

WOULD POST A SWEATY GYM MAT AND TAG THE GYM AND IT'D HAVE A DUMB CAPTION LIKE "Workout Wednesdays! 🏋🏼‍♂️💪#Wednesday #Gym #Exercise #GymPic #Muscles" HE LACKS SELF AWARENESS DONT LAUGH

would 'ironically' comment "Hot! 🔥🔥🔥" on a mans gym pic and would slutshame a womans gym butt pic

"he hurts every woman hes ever met because his true soulmate is a man" - Sock-rates

he would unironically use hashtags in a sentence for fun, also urges Jer to be more active on Instagram

imagine the most white grown man, now add curly blonde hair, uhuh now give him a gay sweater, now make him homophobic & gay, yep .thats him officer

HAS gotten scammed on instagram, he threathened legal action and got his money back and deleted their account after a week tho

weekday streaks exist to him, no hes not a middle schooler hes actually 30

look at me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't make fun of feminism in the comments section of those LibzDunked accounts

his Close Friends stories are just aftermaths after nights out, its either him drunk posting or filming himself talking to the camera about his hangover

its just Jer and a few other friends but it has the same intimacy of homosexuality

theres one video where hes drunk and actually tripped and fell so comically its been 7 months and Jer still makes fun of him for it (laughs along but actually hates it like viscerally)

he has 3 phones, both iphones and one is a samsung flip (he wanted the hype), a work phone, home phone, and his normal phone, why does he need so much? why is he not robbed yet? we will never know....

replies to those awareness posts about war in the middle east and goes like "damn.. thats unfortunate 💔 hearts goes out to them 🙏 @Chriswalker89"

most menacing instagram white man, cyberbullies as a past time and has 5 alts just focused on Harrassment+ Stalking people

he'd doxx which hospital your mother is staying in with no shame

"If you don't take that back I'm injecting your mothers spine with brain eating parasites" and he means that for real

would post corny atheist memes & misinformation

induces paranoia as a hobby "Yes ma'am i am a licensed doctor vaccines Do cause autism" as a treat

he fucks around too much one day his main gets suspended and he calls Instagram customer services

if you wouldn't think he'd try to hook up with an instagram influencer you are a liar

weekly self-help book recommendations that he doesn't read and actually just gets payed 7$ per link

im not saying he would make an alt to just hype up his own photos but he would.....do that.....

also gets blackmailed his own dick pic but whatever that was in the past

on a side note Jeremy does have a year old instagram account that only has 2 pictures (both just bar pics of him posing with a glass of wine like an idiot) and his entire Tagged section is just RICHARD TAGGING HIM IN ANYTHING

#richard trager #outlast #outlast fandom #outlast whistleblower #jeremy blaire #they are homophobic and gay #the straightest gay people

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 9 months

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I can understand the argument that someone's background influences their views on politics/social issues, everything and how that transpires in the art they're making, but only using that frame of analysis is reductive. More often working class directors get the recognition for their working class stories, whilst anything above it that gets into privileged teritory will most likely be criticized. Especially in this era in cinema and economic/political climate in which "eat the rich" is now a theme/meme in pop culture.

But I do stand on my opinion that it can be reductive sometimes. I could never look at Visconti's work only thinking that a rich count made all those films. When the entire argument is based on that it might ignore not only elements that are actually working in the film, but also other legitimate frames of criticizing the piece if it lacks in other areas.

I think this applies to Saltburn as well. I've seen the classism critique everywhere. And on one hand it does apply. Yes, the director is this posh woman and it might be argued that the film is a posh perspective on what's the middle class fantasy. Which apparently is one in which pretending to be working class and having parents with addiction might garantee you a spot in a circle of rich friends (and then you can exert all your destructive fantasies on them). At the same time, it's not like the upper class gets unscathed from all this. Yes, they're fun and amusing to watch, but I wasn't laughing with them, but at them. They were portrayed as being ridiculous and utterly sad in their inability of showing emotion, seen here as the typical upper class behavior.

Perhaps a more legitimate criticism coming from me (and others) would be that all explained above would have come across more clearly if the execution would have been done right. I do believe there's some issues with the script. The over explaining of motive through a monologue and going back in time was not necessary and it's more like a gimmick, an easy way to close all the narrative ends. It's not technically a bad idea, but perhaps it is too cliche at this point.

I believe Oliver needed a bit more work in terms of motivation and how that comes across. I felt as if there's more to know. Not in a way that justifies his action, but what is underneath there? This is where I'm reminded of some comparisons to The Talented Mr. Ripley, Teorema or Brideshead Revisited. The stranger who comes in and disrupts the status quo. Who changes the lives of those he "befriends", either for personal gain, for them to get out of their "comfort zone" or both. The methods of infiltration are subtle, but most importantly, the way in which they are portrayed in film or written are what makes them so powerful. Emerald Fennell is no Evelyn Waugh, that's obvious. So I think that mostly here lies that criticism on my part. That at times, the story is told too simplistically, it doesn't go too deep into the relationship between characters (especially Oliver and Felix) and there's a superficiality that comes with a focus on aestheticism.

At the same time, this exact latter criticism can actually be its forte. It's what makes it fun. It's the wanted shock value of a few scenes that definitely makes the audience gasp (particularly those in the young adult range nowadays used to comic book adaptions and other Hollywood garbage). It looks beautiful and it makes us nostalgic of summers in the late 2000s which don't look that bad through rose-tinted glasses. It's how we look at ridiculous behavior and also love watching those people bask in the sun and wear dinner jackets while playing tennis. It's the music! I loved the music and the sparkly kitschy clothes us millenials used to think it were the height of fashion.

The film wants to be outrageous, to make people talk, to bring valid criticism while also looking really good. If its problem is that it has too much style over lack of substance, at least they nailed the style.

My watching experience was a really fun one. It doesn't take away from noticing its shortcomings and that also doesn't make me want to only see its fault and not also the elements that work. Saltburn is somewhere in the middle and I do think we need these types of films as well and it's not hard for it to find its appropriate audience.

#m thoughts #saltburn #emerald fennell #film talk

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autisticempathydaemon · 10 months

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Have never done anything like this before but I wanted to participate because why not!

Hope I'm doing this right- this is for the RedactedAudio Match-up :)

1 - Ok so I have 2 song fixations, first one is "Used to the Darkness" by Des Rocs and the other is "Morning Coffee" by Chevy and Nalba

For Used to the Darkness the specific verse is the chorus, it's a bit long for tumblr but I'll give my reasoning. I've always loved this kind of rock because it reminds me of the 90s rebellion kind of era and this verse strikes me as 'society has forced me down by its standards and is leaving me in the dust because I've "made a mistake", but I'm going to fight because my life hasn't started yet and I'm too young to simply give up'. Every time I hear that chorus it gives me a second wind of sorts and reminds me to just keep going, to keep being stubborn and to keep being me unapologetically.

For Morning Coffee there is no specific line because I resonate with the whole song lol. I'm a very big coffee addict, like I need coffee or tea every day to make it feel right. The reason being is that it's a small comfort treat to help me feel better especially when some days just aren't the best and I need a pick me up to feel better, even if it's a little bit. I listen to this every morning on my commute and every afternoon on the way back home, it's such a big comfort song that I keep on repeat.

2 - 6! (subtype sp) 3 - I love a good video essay! My favourite ones are a bit niche but I especially love SovietWomble's essay about "The Forest" because it's a deep dive critique and explanation of what happens when lore is added to a game post-release and why it's so important to develop it as a whole rather than doing it in bits as it can be the difference of an amazing or completely underwhelming experience. As someone who writes for fun and loves to play games soley for the lore sometimes, I found it useful to develop and hone my skills in world-building and making my stories more coherent. Also because he did a face reveal at the end BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!

4 - Gosh I haven't talked about my imaginary friend in a bit, her face evades me but I remember she would always help me sleep or play with me when no one else did (so everyday basically). She always wore a yellow dress and had her hair up in pigtails. I never gave her a name because she never needed one, I just called her 'friend', I miss her

5 - Put on a redacted audio vid and fall asleep to that lmfao (usually a david vid)

6 - I honestly don't know what I'd change my name to, sometimes I just wish I didn't really have a name because my self identity fluctuates so much

7 - Favourite redacted audio, hm, tbh any of David's audios. I find myself always returning to one of his videos but I think I like his camping one the most, I cry every time but hearing the stories makes my heart so full and like I genuinely want to comfort him.

8 - Huxley maybe? I love his pairing with Damien but I've never really liked or gotten into his story much, might just be a me thing- but hey he's gay so that's fun

9 - RWBY! Specifically volumes 1-3 because they're so iconic, love the entire series though, I quote it a lot to myself.

10 - Guy, he's as much as a dumbass and gremlin as I am and I THRIVE off of the chaotic energy so much. Plus he can make me pizza while we hang out so that's fun!

11 - Memes, I will start quoting memes. Either that or "Which character would win in xyz situation? A or B?" 12 - 7-11 hot chocolate but instead of milk I put a latte in it

13 - Karu's "How To Train Your Dragon" orchestra cover playlist 14 - smutty audios... idk I just find it fun to scour for a good audio on reddit lmfao

15 - I'm very argumentative and will debate anyone on any topic (I've been a debater for years), but I'm also very much a people pleaser because I like to give people gifts and do acts of service. Uh- does a plushie addiction count as something that'll tell you who I am? I like dnd and Critical Role

Thank you!

Ooh, I love you; you gave me so much information to work with! There were a good amount of possibilities I was working with, but if you’re an argumentative Six, who else can I pair you with but Avior?

You’re both similar in a lot of ways- a love of debate, prone to Acts of Service, Type Sixes who are loyal, thoughtful, and reliable. It’s these similarities but also the differences that make me think you’d be compatible. Avior and his sarcastic, sharp nature would be good at keeping your people-pleasing chaos in check. Your love of storytelling and narratives would be new and so refreshing to him as he’s never put so much thought into fantasy and fiction. He learns to accept your gifts graciously because he wants you to be happy even though he’s not used to it.

Your life together would be so fun; you’d make his life so fun. Avior does not understand your plushie collection, but he tolerates it and comes to terms with their watching eyes every day because he loves you. He also doesn’t understand any of your memes either; he pretends he thinks they’re insipid and pointless, but he actually thinks they and you are cute and silly when you quote them. Also, you’re totally coffee/tea addicts together, and you’ve got the best stocked caffeine cupboards in all of Dahlia.

Song:

Just tea for two and two for tea/ Me for you and you for me alone/ Nobody near us/ To see us or hear us/ No friends or relations/ On weekend vacations/ We won't have it known, dear/ That we own a telephone (oh, I hate telephones) (yeah, me too)

I couldn’t help it; you gave me a coffee song, so I had to give you a tea song in return! I also like it for you, because it’s cute, it’s sweet, it’s singable. It’s not just about tea but love and being together, having tea side by side for the rest of your lives. It’s the kind of song you could sing at Avior, and he’d have to try really hard to not be charmed.

Runner-Ups:

If you’re a DnD fan, I’ve got to give you Lasko as a runner-up; my brain would not allow otherwise! The two of you could write together and be so cute. Asher is your other contender because you’re similar in a lot of ways that would be really fun but more in a platonic, best friend way than romantic like Avior.

note: thank you so much for waiting~! I hope you like your match-up!

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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raid3r-r4bbit · 1 year

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THE OC LONG LIST THAT MADE ME WANT TO CRY THINGIE!!!!!

@fuzzydreamin this was so much worse than i anticipated. IM TAGGING NOBODY BECAUSE I HAD TO GO OUTSIDE AND SIT ON MY PORCH FOR 15 WHOLE MINUTES AFTER MY COMPUTER CRASHED AND I LOST THE WHOLE THING :D!!!!!)

HOWDY! AS of posting, I'm on my way to the airport and going to be traveling to wasteland weekend, and while my posting's already been a little erratic in the last few days its about to do that again lol. I might have time to do some stuff while hanging out at the airport and while in air, not sure about actually at the air bnb and shit, but whatever. so no promises, no guarantees, treat it like a Wishlist, drop an ask or two (fr idc) and i might draw something. I will even make memes. OK Das it for announcements

(Lmao i typed this whole thing up and then my computer fucking crashed, saving none of it, so take two ig.

Fair warning, I make more drug references than probably needed in this, and made a fun little list at the end for you all. There's def a bunch of spelling errors, sorry I dont have the time to fix it all. I've also jumbled details about all of them together because of overlap, so if you really want to know you have to read the whole goddamn thing) Ok have fun reading.

JOLT ✧˖°. PERSONAL $ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable ✪ Class/Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed ( The four of them aren't nessiciarily impoverished, or living in poverty, but it's hard to expand when you're either living in a small city or traveling in a small trailer, life isn't the worst, nobody's strugling to make ends meet (not that anyones charging them rent, though.) but at the same time, they arent living in some kind of mansion. Jolt mostly manages money in the group, and all together they do pretty well.

Jolt is muscular, but he tends to over do it with training and fighting, occasionally skipping meals, definitly fit though. there isn't much of a caste system within the story, you've either got someplace to stay or you dont.

Jolt, like the rest of them, hasnt had a "proper formal education", but he's the most well written of the group, able to read and write in both spanish and english, as well as being fluent in both. His mathmatical skills are enough to get by with, simple maths. He's also read a lot of history books in his free time, so he knows a suprising amount of US history, not that most of it matters anymore.

Most of the time, the crimes he's commited have been done in places where it doesnt really matter- around other raiders, killing people in arena style fights, ect. He's not got the stickiest hands, but he's swiped a few things in his life. Over all, he's intimidating and skilled enough to swipe stuff without gettign caught.)

✧˖°. FAMILY ◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased/?????? ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / found family / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable (Jolt is worried about the idea of raising children in the wasteland without a solid comunity or stable way of life, and he's also concerned about his own addiction and behavior affecting them, but he enjoy the idea of being a parent and raising kids.

Before everythign happened, his family was a very close unit, definitly closer to his mother than his father, though. His father rough around the edges, but overall a good man. His mother wanted to make sure her kids were intelligent and capable, and enjoyed passing on information from her life, and her family, history, to them. His siblings and him were also quite close, often depeneding on him when his mother passed away.

Jolt's mother died when he was around 14-15, and his father passed away a few weeks before he turned 19, after which he left his siblings. Over time he eventually found himself tangled with a few people and groups but never really found a home until he was tangled with Bux, Keres, and Rikki. The four of them make up a somewhat weird but very close family.)

✧˖°. TRAITS + TENDENCIES ♦ extroverted / introverted / in-between ♦ disorganized / organized / in-between ♦ close-minded / open-minded / in-between ♦ calm / anxious / in-between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in-between ♦ cautious / reckless / in-between / highly contextual ♦ patient / impatient / in-between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in-between ♦ leader / follower / in-between ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in-between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in-between ♦ traditional / modern / in-between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in-between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in-between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown / highly contextual ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown ((yea im not explaining all of that))

✧˖°. BELIEFS ★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don't know / don’t care / in a matter of speaking ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don't care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual ((spoilers?) Jolt's belief's are similar to Kere's somewhat pagan in nature, but also a bit alternative. One of his major beliefs is that most people are inherently evil, and people who claim they aren't are often far worse.)

✧˖°. SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious �� Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all (Jolt is demi Romantic and Pansexual, He doesnt really have a prefrence sexually, but romantically he isnt really insterested in dating women, (on top of not already being interested in dating.) He's previously been promiscuis, having hooks up and one night stands but mostly as a result of need or drunken mistakes. He's pretty tied to keres, however.)

✧˖°. ABILITIES ☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none (Jolt has pretty extensive training and combat experience, and is likely not someone you want to pick a fight with, he does loose advantage in ranged combat, not being skilled with guns, and not being very fast and flexible, but he's pretty much gaurenteed to at least break limbs (at least ) in hand to hand combat.

There a few things he forgets how to spell, and occasionally forgets words in english/spanish, but nothing outside the normal relm of someone who's bilingul. He's decently literate though, and enjoys reading and writting.

Jolt paints fequently and paints things like aniamls and plants to catolauge them, writing down information as he learns about them, either for saftey, hunting, or foraging, sometimes even receipes. He's not super skilled at it, and struggles to draw people, but it's still a hobby of his.

He's skilled with things like cooking, construction, and he's pretty good at taking care of weapons/ maintaining them. he's not great with machinery, things like cars and what not, he is decent at wiring though, and can hot wire cars in case of emergency. )

✧˖°. HABITS ☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic / former borderline alcoholic turned sober ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler (Jolt isnt an alcholic in the same what your mom isnt an alcholic but drinks 2-3 glasses of wine every night, except it's whiskey or burbon. He doenst really drink to get drunk, maybe a little bit buzzed, tipsy at most, but over all just enjoys the warmth from alcohol.

Jolt smokes pretty regularly, often smelling like it too. Nicotine is one of the only things that helps his hands from trembling, but also makes it worse in the long run.

He's got pretty hardcore psycho addiction. while using he's either highly aggressive and manic, but often is subject to bad trips becoming emotional and mostly inconsolable. He also uses day tripper and marijuana, but less recreational and more medicinal, using them to manage his psycho addiction and mental health issues.

stimpacks, med x, rad away, rad x for all of them, jolt also uses buffout but like a pre-workout/training situation, often only taking half a dose. He also uses Calmex but as directed.

Jolt dies most of the cooking, cooking a lot of mexican and native dishes (or as close as he can get) so mostly things fluctiate from extremely healthy to very deep fried. He really enjoys spicy food more then sweet food, and his favorite foods are often served over rice, or fried. Some of his favorites are Pemmican (my mom made this a lot as a kid and its like a larabar with meat. highly reccomend), Tamales, and menudo (personally, i hate tripe, it makes me want to crawl in a hole and die, but my mom loves and says its very good for you.)

He's pretty stingy with money, budgeting everything, drugs, drinks, cigarettes, food, everything is included. Every so often he'll splurge on new spices or food, paint suplies, or on something as a surprise for Keres (which is usually new herbs or candles.) He also enjoys buying and trying unique cuts of food or veggies or meats he's never tried before.

as for gambling:

gambled once, and vowed to never do it again. He does do betted fights, but he's rarely lost a fight, picking his opponents carefully.)

KERES (im switchin up the placement bite my ass i dont care) ✧˖°. PERSONAL $ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable ✪ Class/Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed (Keres is a little chubby, but not really over weight, just kinda thicc, but over all they are healthy.

Keres has proably had the best education of the group, learning both "traditional" subjects and also more alternative once (natrual medicines, and other things)

Surprisingly, Keres isnt really into the whole stealing things thing, and will pretty much only use violence as a means to protect themselves or their friends.)

✧˖°. FAMILY ◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / found family / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable (Keres isn't sure if they want kids, or can even have them. Keres is intersex, and with their specific condition it isnt impossible, just highly unlikely. As for wanting kids, keres hasn't really been around enough children to know if that's what they want, basically raising Rikki and taking care of Bux pretty much fufills that need for them.

Keres had a close but strained relationship with their family, their parents being strict, but not rough or hateful. They chose to leave after taking in Rikki, seeing that their family wasnt really capable of feeding more people. Keres has five other siblings, none of which they're particularly close with. Over all like the rest of the group, its mostly a found family type situation.)

✧˖°. BELIEFS ★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don't know / don’t care / in a matter of speaking ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don't care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual (again, very pagan like, but keres holds more beliefs than Jolt, believing things like almost anything pre war, with some exceptions (mostly the trailer and shoes if needed, other vehicles, and some simple things like abandoned tins, jars ,mugs ect.) are inherently evil and useless, and that items that are prewar are not to be used.

They spend a lot of time meditating, or crafting spells for the others, things like talismans and pocket spells.

Their over all belief is a bit similar to traditional Native American beliefs, celtic and/or norse paganism, and a few other things that have, like everything else in the wasteland, evolved or changed over time.)

✧˖°. SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual/Other ❥ Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

(Keres is androsexual, preferring men/masculine individuals.)

Keres is mostly blind, having severe cataracts in both eyes. they could read previously, and with some aid still can. Jolt and Rikki often sit down and rewrite books using extra pressure so that keres can read the indents (like braille but none of them know it.) have several books they can use. Other wise, they are literate. they also know some spanish, not enough to be considered fluent, but enough to hold private conversations with Jolt right in fron to rikki and Bux.

Keres isnt the most technically skilled, they can sew decently well, can crochet and knit at alarming speed for someone with little to no vision, and again, despite being blind, makes a decent medic.)

✧˖°. HABITS ☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic / former borderline alcoholic turned sober ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler (Keres drinks occasionally with the others, but otherwise rarely drinks. they enjoy the taste of alcohol, but they dont enjoy the feeling of being drunk, or getting disoriented. On occasion, they may get a little tipsy, provided someone is there to help them get back home.

They enjoy the smell of cigarette smoke on other people, but not the taste of inhaling smoke. they've smoked before, but never really enjoyed it.

Keres smokes a lot of weed, but also has a decently high tolerance to it, rarely actually getting high. They dont have a lot of anxiety but they seem to be a bit inattentive without it. They also use Jet, a lot, it helps again from being disassociated, or over stimulated, using it to regulate themselves.

Most medicinal medicines keres uses are once they've made themselves, and are usually tinctures, teas or topical ointments. Keres loves anything Jolt cooks, being unable to cook themselves, rikki being unable to handle spices very well and Bux incinerating everything he "cooks". His style of cooking is nearly identical to their families' and Jolt's curiosity for trying new receipies is exciting to keres, as it mean flavor and textural variety. They enjoy savory and bitter foods, and also fermented dishes. Keres doesn't really have any particularly favorite dishes, but anything with seafood, jerky, or fried is likely to be enjoyed. All that being said, they won't eat anythign pre-war. Probably for the best.

Keres is not allowed to buy things. They will spend all their money on candles or yarn.

Keres has never had in interest in gambling, but is inexplicably good at dominoes.)

RIKKI ✧˖°. PERSONAL $ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable ✪ Class/Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed (Rikki in on the underweight side of things, being incredibly thin. her anxiety makes it oftenndifficult to eat of keep food down. She's had no education, and Keres and Jolt have attempted to teach her how to read and write, with very little success. Jolt often sits down with her, making little work sheets for her. She picked up math pretty quickly however, and enjoys doing the various math problems the pair have her work out. Rikki is a little bit of a kelpto, and her small size and bubbly personality make it easy for her to get away with taking things, caught or not.)

✧˖°. FAMILY

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased/unknown ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / found family / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable (Rikki is scared at the thought of having children. It's not that she doesnt enjoy children, it's just the idea of the entire proccess is traumatic for her.

Rikki doesn't know if she has siblings, She thinks she has a brother or a cousin. She knows she has a father, but she knows very little about him. the relationship between them is nonexsistent.)

✧˖°. BELIEFS ★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don't know / don’t care / in a matter of speaking ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don't care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual (Rikki doesnt hold an particular beliefs, but enjoys watching/listeing to Keres and Jolt talk about things, and occasioanlly participates, enjoying having her palms read, or using tarot cards with keres, or listening to jolt ramble about nature while they forage together.)

✧˖°. SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all (Rikki is Aceflux, she fluctates through various states, but over all reamains asexual, and is sexually replused. She isnt oppsed to the idea of being romantic with someone, but is often to anxious to persue a relationship.)

Rikki is surprisngly good at math, but also not very great at reading.

She can maybe draw some stick figures, but enjoys doodling with Bux.

Rikki is great at sewing, and also extremely talented at maintaining and fixing guns, and other mechanical weapons.)

✧˖°. HABITS ☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic / former borderline alcoholic turned sober ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler (Over all, most subsance use on her end is pretty casual, rikki basically enjoying her freinds being around her and partaking a little bit here and there, or enjoying a drink on a nice after noon. She's the "designated driver" who cant actually drive.

Rikki is a very picky eater, typically subsiding off of simple sandwiches, or soups that are made specifically because of her squeamish nature to texturally adventurous foods, and she cant handle spicy foods to save her life.

Rikki likes to buy herself nice things sometimes, occasionally going overboard and buying mostly uselss trinkets.

She's a pretty decent gambler, and most of her money is made gambling people who clearly aren't great at what they're trying to do.)

BUX

✧˖°. PERSONAL $ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable ✪ Class/Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed (Other than the excessive drug use and munchies, Bux's pretty active, and stays pretty thin. He's got a good bit of muscle, and he sometimes has a little chub, but he's definitley not as fit as he could be.

He was in school for a bit before his parents divorced, he father then pulling him out of school to work on the farm. Bux has probably the stickiest fingers of the group, he could steal an entire cart of stuff and not only would you not see him do it, youd have no idea where any of it went. )

✧˖°. FAMILY

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / found family / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable (He's not keen on the idea of having kids. he'd rather avoid them entierly.

He's got a complex relationship with most family members. He doesnt resent his mother, but he's upset with her for not taking him with her when she and walter divorced. Then she married Perry. Perry's great, super nice, and seems like he actually enjoy's Bux's enjoyment of machines and tattoos. But he still had two kids with his mom and didnt think to invite him over even once.

His two sisters adore him, having an older brother who got in trouble for sneeking out and hanging out with a bunch of raiders seems cool to them. He however, does not want to spend time with them. He doesnt hate them, but he feels a twang of envy and sometimes guilt everytime he sees them.)

✧˖°. BELIEFS ★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don't know / don’t care / in a matter of speaking ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don't care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual (jesus himself could decend from heaven and bless this boy personally and he still wouldnt believe, but he swears up an down he's seen mothman.)

✧˖°. ABILITIES ☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none (Bux is not well trained in combat (despite Jolt's attempts.) but is still pretty skilled. Mostly melee, and using his terain to his benefit, prefering to ambush or corner people.

Bux can read, just not well or quickly; on top of needing to focus to read, he has no ability to focus, so he often seems illierate, but he's just a little stupid. He (and Rikki) only speak english, so hearing jolt constant swearing in spanish, or jolt and keres talking "serect older adult stuff" right in front of them is frustrating. Rikki's tried to pick up spanish, but picking it up from two affulent people (who aren't trying to teaching you) is harder then it looks (sounds?); Bux on the other hand, has chosen to ignore it.

Jolt is normally the one considered the artist of the group, and sure, when it comes to drawing plants and animals, he's better than Bux, but when drawing people Bux is usually better. Bux likes making more abstract desgins, anyways. He's maybe not the best with paint and paper, but he can tattoo something else.

On a technically level (on all levels except physical) Bux is pretty impressive. with machines, anyways. He seems to speak to the hardware, and know where it goes. software is a little trickier for him, which isnt saying much cause you could probably hand him a peice of technology he's never seen or heard of and be able to fix it after about five minutes of inspecting. ✧˖°. HABITS ☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic / former borderline alcoholic turned sober ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler (When it comes to drinking, smoking, and drugs, Bux makes the others look like they only rarely or barely use. He's so constantly high or drunk that the few times Jolt has seen him sober he's been genuinely worried. If he's able to come down from it all gracefully, he hits a major low pretty easily. Often mopey, quiet, avoidant, and typically irratable. If not, He's more likely to have a shakey, screaming meltdown. Keres and Rikki cant handle the meltdowns, and Jolt is freaked out by the mellow (even if his highs can be annoying) so the group does not prevent him from indulging in his habits. He'll pretty much drink whatever, smoke whatever, but in general, Jet is his drug of choice. Jet, weed, and maybe a little calmex (generously spared by Jolt at the request of Keres when they travel.) other than the occaisonally calmex, he's taking mostly uppers.

Bux enjoys a good bit of Jolt's cooking, but he's not a fan of the more 'explorative' dishes, and isn't quite accustomed to other culture's foods, so he can be rather picky. He however, will devour anything prewar, very happily. His favorite are the yum yum deviled eggs. Jolt has attempted to make him fresh, homemade, non irradiated, likely moldy, and properly seasoned deviled eggs, but Bux still prefers the stuff out of the box. He does think Jolt's pork n' beans is better, though.

While not quite as bad as Keres, Bux is also not allowed to spend his own money. He gets an allowance though. He enjoys gambling, too, so that adds on to the "List of Reasons Why." posted on the fridge by Jolt. He mostly spends on drugs or food, but will also spend on tattoo and pericing supplies, or bust it all gambling. He likes dice games, and betting games. He's not great at it. )

(fun fact about the various drugs of fallout; they're inspired by real world drugs/medications, and when writing stories you can apply the real world affects and repercussions :D I've seen a few different interpretations, but here are mine personally (having worked in (and currently working for) various biomedical pharmaceutical distributions or management companies, and while not being a doctor, I know more than the average person about these drugs. (I've mostly included the ones that are important story wise.) Psycho: Methamphetamine Jet: Jenkem (I've seen some people say its an amphetamine, and i think the effects of jet are pretty similar canonically, but it's definetly jekem.) Med-x: Morphine Buffout: roids. Calmex: Ketamine. Daddy-o: Xanax or adderall. (Or something similar.) Day Tripper: LSD or shrooms but bottled for your conveinence. (some people say that day tripper is weed, going off the effects it could be, but i'd rather just have my characters smoking weed. )

#fallout #fallout raider #fallout oc #RR OC STUFF #HV comic stuff #oc jolt #oc keres #oc rikki #oc bux

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cinhomi · 10 months

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aww don't worry about it! I just finished high school as well (this is my first semester of uni) and lemme tell you: I hate uni. whatever teenage fantasy they told me is entirely WRONG because uni sucks BALLS. and not the fun i-would-suck-3racha's-balls either. uni is a menace and I'd like to flush it down the toilet. (maybe it's particularly my uni idk but conclusion is it SUCKS it's even worse than high school) but also that explains why you have to take physics haha

honestly though, no pressure about revealing any personal information! I totally understand and it's perfectly fine to not reveal anything~

please send help. I think I got a skzoo addiction because I keep getting skzoos. it started off like that one meme "I'd only get bbokari" and then it escalated into "what if it gets lonely I have to get it a friend" and now I have 5 fan made skzoos and 3 bbokaris. I also have two fanmade puppyms pre-ordered. I can afford it because I have allowance money that i never spent BUT I FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE IT FEELS SO EXCESSIVE but also looking forward to picking up little skzoos makes me so happy ;-;

anyways I have to get through this math video and a bit of accounting but I am so sleepy. welp. exams are next week and I have not studied since midterms (a month ago) because of my shitty ass uni :) where's genius seungmin when you need him :(

- titracha nonnie :3 (currently dying because finals r hurtling towards me) (hope you're doing better than your poor mathematically tortured nonnie!)

physics still doesn't make sense... not everyone does it, it depends from the school's address (???) and I find it pointless for an artistic school!!!!!!! its stupid!!!!!!!!!

THIS BEING SAID I heard some people I know actually like uni and uni's environment. but they are a bit egocentric and rude so maybe it makes sense LMAO. after replying to your last ask I actually realized few things and I came to the conclusion that what I wanted to do doesn't fully convince me.

academy of fine arts was my dream (and I'd have direct access without any exam) but the courses and professors are nothing like I imagined and I repeat, I'm glad I had more time to think about it because maybe history of art is a valid alternative. I'm afraid a few of my professors will yell at me for thisー I know I'm good, I have plenty of potential, but I'm tired of making art that others want me to do, that others impose to me, that others like etc etc etc. I'd prefer to study something and then do things by myself... sorry for the little rumble haha I have no one beside my parents I can talk about these things with :")

you make me want to buy skzoos as well... I want them so BAD esp the pilot for 5☆ fanmeet ones, so cuuuute and littleeeee and hqjsjxhwb INNEED THEM I NEED TGWM VAAUDBWAAAAH but I don't know where can I order them from and idk if I'll ever be allowed to buy them since I don't have *my* money and no one will ever gift 'em to me 😔 they're so damn expensive 😔

I hope you can study well and without stressing too much. please take care of yourself and make sure to sleep enough, okay?

#✉️: letters to cinhomi #from: titracha nonnie

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polyhexian · 2 years

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I finally sat down and gave "The Great Automatic Grammatizator" a read, per your recommendation. The parallels with AI are apparent, and I did exit the story with some thoughts about the commodification of creativity, but I'm curious how it affected *your* approach to writing and art in general

It's really relevant to AI stuff, but it means something different for me.

I don't usually talk about youtube here because i don't want youtube people coming here nor do i especially want people from here going to my youtube, but its too relevant to leave out, so i'm gonna put this under a cut.

I read "The Great Automatic Grammatizator" in 2012. I'm gonna have to drop a couple fun facts today for anyone thats new; #1 being unfortunately i am a youtuber and #2 being i got human trafficked in 2012 lol. whoops. Anyway. in 2012 I was living in Beijing and I worked at this school where i had a one hour break in the middle of the day ostensibly for lunch but there really wasnt anywhere to go so, i usually just used it to hide in a closet and nap. since i never got enough sleep. and at one point i found a book that was a collection of roald dahl's adult oriented short stories, and it was the first english book id had access to in ages, and it would be like, awhile before i got a vpn and access to most of the english internet again.

So I read it and this is really the story that stuck with me and persisted. I've always been an artist, ever since I was a child. Everyone around me knew I was inevitably going to be one professionally. And when I got back from the US i worked for an on demand t shirt company as a graphic designer working on digital embroidery stuff. and then, of course, later on i'd become a youtube animator.

The difference between what I do now and what I did when I was younger is that art is my job now. Thats my income. Thats whether I eat or not. Art for money always comes before art for arts sake. I can't count the amount of times I've had something I really wanted to invest my time in- like Bruno is Orange, if you've ever seen it, which took me months- and I just can't justify it. I don't have the time for that kind of thing. If I'm making art, it has to prioritize profit. it just does. and that sucks out everything i like about art and leaves behind a shell where i no longer do. It's not just that I can't make whatever I want, its that I always have to edit what I DO want into something thats more palatable, more widely appealing, more tailored to my audience. I can't risk making something that might alienate them. I joke all the time about how my subscribers are begging me to stop posting transformers but. unironically, i DO lose subscribers every single time i post transformers. every time.

theres a difference between being a successful artist and being a successful artist commercially. you're making a product. you're making content.

what all that leads to is that golden contract. it's money for your morals. its taking the easy way out at the expense of your soul. its selling out for safety and what a relief that is, but you will never sleep at night again.

I've joked before about how I've turned down a RAID sponsorship but- i have. i did actually do that. hellofresh literally sends me a daily email about partnership its getting annoying. but i don't... i don't take sponsorships. its not the idea of sponsors i hate, its that every potential sponsor is a golden contract.

i think RAID should be illegal. I think its gambling and selling gambling to kids should be a crime. I think it needs to be under the same restrictions all gambling is. I think selling gambling addictions to children is evil and I've spoken about this at length before. Could I accept money to tell my audience to download it? You're not just playing an ad, you are putting your face on it, its your endorsement. you are telling people to do it. And youtubers joke about how its basically a meme at this point, its not like anyone actually downloads it, but- yes they do? if they didnt they wouldnt keep sponsoring people. They're making a profit. they're getting new users. Can I knowingly promote with my own words and my own mouth something I think is so heinous because im being paid for it?

that goes for basically all of them. fuck audible and amazon, fuck raycons, fuck honey, fuck dollar shave club and nord vpn and that overpriced cereal and the mattresses and all of it. You can look into all of them but theyre rife with cheap garbage sold at jacked up prices no better than dropshipping or predatory marketing practices or deceptive advertising or just straight up being no better than scams. Do you remember the esteemed titles situation recently? huge youtubers were involved with promoting this massive scam that they could have found out was scam with like twenty minutes of googling, but... no one did.

its the golden contract. take the money and bite your tongue. sell out and feel safe again, at the expense of the world around you. let someone else move your hand and place words in your mouth, be a vessel of capitalism with one hand while denouncing it with the other like the hypocrite you have to be.

i cant do it and sleep at night. i had a rough time in beijing. i learned how to be hungry there, and I learned the hard way that everyone will do things they never believed they could or would when theyre hungry. So when I say it, I know what I mean, I know what starving feels like and I know what its like to wear three jackets to bed during a blizzard and shiver all night without heat or electricity, and I know what its like to hike miles in the snow to work, and I know what its like to work on christmas and to work with a fever and to be afraid of people you work with. i know exactly what im saying when i say i'd rather starve than have a full cabinet at the expense of my integrity. ive fucked up a lot in my life and ive done a lot of things i regret, but not on purpose. i wont walk headlong into something i know is wrong on purpose. and i know that im not the only one that suffers. i have friends now. no one is going to let me go hungry this time. no one is going to let me be homeless or starve to death. which means when i cant take care of myself, someone else has to help me. im putting that on everyone around me and im not proud of it.

turning down that golden contract doesnt just impact you. it impacts everyone around you. i could make more money making outrage content on the internet but i won't. its that last line. "Give us strength, oh lord, to let our children starve" that always comes back to me. take the contract, feed your family. go to hell. turn it down and inflict suffering on yourself and those around you but refuse to make the world a worse place to live in. its the "press the button to get a million dollars, but someone somewhere dies" dilemma but on a small scale, death by a thousand cuts.

so thats what its about. thats what it means.

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