#I'm actually still a bit proud of my plot and characters

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  @cuips-not-cute! cuips_not_cute has six fics in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @cuips-not-cute:

he could be brave

blood is an aphrodisiac

honeyed affection

blinking red light

cyclical

"cuips is a master of taking the reader on an emotional roller coaster ride. The amount of times I've laughed and cried at the same time reading his fics have been too numerous to count. Especially the depth of the sex scenes and the character beats and growth they portray are gorgeous to read - and also very titillating. I love Steve and Eddie in every one of cuips stories, adore the little mannerisms they are given and the way they interact with each other and other characters. Besides the inspiring prose cuips can pull off a plot like few other people I've found so far - since blinking red light is still ongoing, I'll just point to cyclical for that. I'm very thankful to cuips for writing and posting these stories and for being a very active part of this lovely fandom." -- anonymous

Below the cut, @cuips-not-cute answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

i don’t even know. i was happily in the ofmd fandom when i watched season 4 almost three years ago now (oh god) and then the characters… they got me. i fear they’ll never leave.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

god, so many. they’re all kinda the same flavor though so i’ll list out what i’m always filtering for to find a new fic: bottom/sub eddie, creature/monster eddie, post s4, canon compliant, soft dom steve, sex pollen, spit kink, rimming (perhaps my FAVORITE ever thing to read), switch eddie/switch steve… the list goes on.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

probably also rimming. there’s just something so romantic about eating ass. and i really love to stick with post s4 canon compliant aus, too, i don’t think i’ve written an actual for real au yet, though i do have an idea for one after brl.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

i don’t know if i can pick!! my ao3 bookmarks host my many all-time faves, but if you wanna go by the fic i’ve reread the most it’s probably the affliction of the feeling. it’s so fucking good.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

YES!!! i have never written omegaverse!!! which is crazy, ‘cause i like it a LOT. i have a post-s4 omegaverse au kicking around in my head currently, and i cannot wait to sink my teeth into all the messy biology and politics that come with the omegaverse.

What is your writing process like?

chaotic, in a word. usually, i’ll get a fic idea while i’m balls-deep in writing another fic so i’ll shove it to the side and let it simmer while i finish that first one, then i’ll spend a good long while planning it out in ridiculous detail, and THEN i’ll start actually drafting. i like to have a fully fleshed out outline and a couple chapters written and edited before i start posting, and once posting begins i tend to deviate quite a bit from my outline but it’s all good fun.

Do you have any writing quirks?

definitely. i don’t like pointing them out for fear of other folks seeing them in everything i do, but they’re there. one that i don’t mind so much is my absolute abuse of the word “little.” everything is “a little” of this, “a little” of that, but i try to cut my usage down significantly while i’m editing.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

i always TRY to keep a schedule but… yeah. it never works. i’m far too busy for one, but attempts are made. i’d like to one day write a fic in full before posting it, because i think it’d be a whole lot better if i let it sit for that long but lord, i sure do like getting ao3 comments on every chapter. they make the writing motivation go WAY up.

Which fic are you most proud of?

brl, definitely. that fucker is LONG and i’m barely halfway through it. i think i’ve done a lot of cool things with it and i’m going to do some more cool things and i’ve made a lot of really awesome friends in the process of writing it so it’s got some pretty insane sentimental value to me. it’s definitely going to be a fic i’ll miss writing once i finish it, but that’s what the epilogue series is for!!!

How did you get the idea for blinking red light?

from another fic!!! @racketghost is the author of one of my favorite things i’ve ever read, which is the good omens zach and miri au, closed set (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320960/chapters/55862155 <- hyperlinked), wherein crowley has been lying about the existence of some angelic sex tapes to all of hell, and then he and aziraphale have to actually make the tapes. it’s awesome. it’s gorgeous. brl is one big giant love letter to this fic, because it means so fucking much to me and i think about it ALL the time. 

When writing honeyed affection, what was something you didn’t expect?

hmm, i don’t know? ha is, i think, a pretty easygoing fic with lots and lots of porn stuffed inside it, and that was all i intended it to be so i cannot think of anything i was surprised by!!

What inspired blood is an aphrodisiac?

i just wanted to write vampire eddie. it was july ‘22, kas theories were everywhere, i had to try it. these days i think i would change a LOT about it because my ideas and hcs surrounding the characters have evolved significantly, but i’ll write vampire eddie again and “fix” everything i no longer like about biaa.

What was your favorite part to write from he could be brave?

…the fisting. i genuinely think some of my best writing is in that scene, and while i feel the same way about this fic as i do biaa, the fisting scene will always hold a special place in my heart. i’m very, very excited to write the fisting chapter in brl because of this scene. fisting rules.

How do/did you feel writing cyclical?

i wrote cyclical during a very weird few months of my life, so writing it was sort of my way of dealing with all the insane shit going on around me, and i think it shows. in a good way, though, because cyclical is a timeloop fic so it needed to be a little angsty and insane. i’m stupidly proud of that fic. @ryeallytired actually BOUND it into a PHYSICAL BOOK and SENT IT TO ME and when i tell you that is the singular most precious object i own, i mean it.

What was the most difficult part of writing blinking red light?

PLOTTING THAT BITCH. GOD. i’m so happy to be actually WRITING it now, the planning was genuinely so brutal. my issue was that i was sticking too close to the plot of closed set (<3) which just… did not work for steddie. closed set’s premise centers around crowley lying about making sex tapes, yes, but he lied about them to PROTECT aziraphale, which is the messiest, kindest, riskiest fucking thing ever. and it’s awesome. in the early planning stages of brl, i was trying to put eddie in the crowley role of lying about having made sex tapes with steve, but it reallyyy didn’t work. there was an oc and i absolutely hated him, plus i didn’t like what that premise was doing to eddie’s character… ugh. it was a MESS. it took several rubber duck-ing conversations with my brilliant friend @lollaika and a rewatch of zach and miri to finally realize that it had to be STEVE who brings up the idea of sex tapes so that he could protect eddie, rather than eddie bringing it up to save his own hide (yikes).

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

oooh, lots. reallyyyy loved chapter 8 of cyclical with all of the pov shifts, that was super fun to write. i also really enjoyed writing the dry humping/sex tape convo in the first chapter of brl, and i’m stupidly excited to write chapters 12, 13, 15, and 17, because of specific scenes that will happen in each.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

i do!! after brl is completed i’ll have to choose from two story ideas (because i cannot have two wips at once or i’ll get SO stressed), one being a semi-realistic steddie cowboy au based off my own experiences with growing up on a farm and featuring messy, earnest cowboys and not-fully-human eddie, and the other being the omegaverse au i want to write, which will have a very fun mix of vampire eddie, dubcon bitching, and accidental mating bites!!!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

i cannot think of anything!! this was super fun :D

Thank you to our author, @cuips-not-cute, and our anonymous nominator! See more of cuips_not_cute's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[only-lonely-stars]

just watched Dragons Rising S2... I am not okay and have many thoughts (SPOILER WARNING)

Please pardon how disorganized these are... :)

Nya and Jay's eventual reunion is going to crush my soullllll

All of the cool shots with Cole fighting have reignited my Man Crush Monday, and I'm not mad

Where are all the ladies? Pixal, Skylor, Vania, Akita? And what about side characters like Benthomaar, the Keepers, Scott, Unagami??? I desperately want to see them

The sorceress (Gandalaria?) is pretty funny, I loved the whole bit with the magic storeroom -- especially the mimic

Did Euphrasia achieve her True Potential when she stabilized the Cloud Kingdom island?

Ras floating into the sky for his interdimensional Zoom meetings has got to be pretty odd in-person...

What happened to Ash? If we've got Cinder now, did Ash die? Or did he retire? Some secret third option?

SOMEONE HELP MY BOI KAI

Seriously. Kai was wearing a wolf mask and yet he still went through the portal without any issues. How? Is it a plot hole? I thought I'd hit on a plot twist and then I was proven wrong, so... not sure...

Lloyd's whole panic attack plot line was... decent, but feels like it needs a little work in the writing department. Overall I love the idea!

What the heck is a Source Dragon Tournament?

Every single one of the Administration jokes landed. Solid 10/10. I was cackling at Cole's joke about a permit in triplicate.

THE DOG!!!! THE DOG!!!!! TOO CUTE!!!

Are the rest of the Ninja going to learn Rising Dragon Technique soon? Will Riyu and Sora get it together?

Will Arin ever actually figure out his object thingie (without bringing it up unsuccessfully another thirty times) before I get bored of watching him try? I hope so.

RIYU BABY YOU'VE GOTTEN SO BIG, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Now go eat your vegetables so you keep growing.

It took me a while to find somewhere to watch it (I don't have Netflix), but it was worth it. I'll watch Season 2 Part 2 (season 2B?) when it's out! I'm starting to warm up to the idea of a spinoff show, especially with the overarching plot pulling it together.

[vsaintsin]

Writeblr Re-Intro

Yo! I'm V Saintsin. Or V or Vin or Saintsin or whatever you want to call me that sounds right on your tongue. I'm a self-proclaimed Social Media fumbler who got a late start to the party and has never quite figured it out. I hate how hipster and edgy it sounds to say "I'm bad at social media" but like I used to work with some people who actually managed the social media accounts for the business we worked for and there were rules and whatnot and damn, I think online media is just not my medium. That being said, here I am! Hah

I'm an author and general mess who's hoping to be the miracle man (somebody who makes a living writing silly little stories). I do use a pseudonym but please hear me out when I say I didn't realize how edgy it sounds, it just has some sentimental value to my personal life. I'm so sorry that I sound like I'm in my emo phase HAHA

About me -

He/Him Transguy from the American Midwest (arguably the south, depending on who you talk to, but the older people still say "Sodi-pop" and "ope").

I'm dysautonomic, bendy, permanently sleepy, and a survivor of Crappy Doctors Who Suck At Doctoring.

I like DnD, Pathfinder, Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk, Dragon Age, and other things in that vein.

I do make art of my stories and characters (Tablet is currently not working so I'm in a dry spell).

My writing background is predominantly ancient, dusty RPs from as far back as the foopets days and fanfic writing on Quizilla - I am an old and wizened elder of the net.

My formal education was music performance and behavioral neuroscience, I don't really know how I got where I am.

This is not my first rodeo with tumblr but it is the first time I have anything to SAY instead of just lurking.

In the event of malfunction, you can put me outside for 5 minutes and I'll probably factory reset.

My existence as I know it hinges on a massive number of sticky notes plastered throughout my room.

What I'm lookin' for -

Idk, whatever? I'm down for most things. Did you write it? Cool, let me see. I'm not too bent on genre or anything, just fascinated by the art of storytelling.

A bit tentative with fanfiction but that's just because if it's not a fandom I'm familiar with I am rather clueless about what the hell is going on and if it's a fandom I am familiar with I HUNT DOWN THE DEEP LORE.

I like art a whole lot, including fanart. Also art advice, love seeing things from different perspectives and learning something new.

Mutuals, really, for any reason. Building better connections on here, getting to know people. I am hideously bad at this but I try.

What I write -

Science Fiction with heavy subjects that matter to me - trigger warnings on a story-by-story basis.

High Fantasy (eventually books I think?) characters and their backgrounds for DnD and Pathfinder - I have been tempted to share these to help people get ideas or just for free use?

Things that I delete because I have crippling imposter syndrome and publishing makes me nauseous (doin' it tho).

Stories that I hope will make people feel less alone or that people could relate to, stories that I wish I had when life was worse and I was reaching out for anything I could find to keep me afloat, stories that try to be critical of things that SUCK in a way that's any helpful.

Lots of curse words and cussing (that's just how people talk 'round here), dubious science, things that I hope might make you cry but in a good way though.

Character-Driven stories that revolve more around the development of the person and less around the plot itself if that makes sense.

I've put blurb things below for my primary project/series which features a grumpy, queer, 37-year old chain smoking Frenchman and his misadventures with life and love and unbridled rage. If any of that sounds cool stick around and hang out? (This part is a plug bc I did a thing and I'm proud of it) And if my books sounds interesting the first one is 99 cents on Kindle and you just need a phone and a free app to read it!

THE SECRET OF LIFE (Published) - Sci-Fi/Psychological Thriller, Bi M Lead, Lovers to Enemies, AI but the oldschool cool kind not the real world thing that's stealing our future

Carlisle-Trystan Antoinette is a mercenary on a hard road, navigating life and death itself in an infinite cycle started by powers above his understanding. He has one mission - warn The Dianican Space Station of the coming threat and put a stop to a war that would encapsulate the whole of the Sol System before it can ever begin. Unfortunately for Carlisle, reality is a tenuous thing, made up only by our understanding of it. At least, according to his Psychiatrist, who tells him that there is no war, that he was never a mercenary, and that what Carlisle is experiencing is a severe but manageable psychotic break. Stripped of his combat enhancements, his bio monitor, and everything he's every known, Carlisle has a decision to make. Does he give in to the thoughts and memories, so real that he can almost taste them, or does he live a life of comfort and ease, returning to a husband and daughter that he left behind?

TWs: Domestic and War Violence, suicide, rape, medical trauma, grief, drug use

THE SILENCE OF ANGELS (Due 2024, TSoL 2) - Betrayal and Rage, Learning how to love again slow-burn romantic subplot, Learning how to Dad, A general inability for any one thing to just go right

(Quick Rough Blurb that offers no spoilers for TSoL) Making connections isn't easy for somebody who's accustomed to burning bridges. Isolation has always been Carlisle's mantra for surviving his life. Playing a role comes second nature, pretending to be the man that everyone else wants to see in him. When an old friend is murdered Carlisle finds himself as the primary suspect with all evidence pointing to him so clearly that even he calls to question what he is capable of. Unwilling to believe that he could commit such a heinous crime, Carlisle sets off to find the truth of his friend's death - was Carlisle framed or does he truly have the capacity to bring such harm upon those he loves? Old and new bonds will be tested, faith broken, and the future of everyone called into question as lines are drawn and sides are picked.

TWs: Violence, mentions of SA, graphic character death, more grief, more death

I don't know what else to say... Later!

[voxofthevoid]

2024 Fic Review

Tagged by @m34gs. Thank you, friend 💖

It's been a while since I've had the time and energy to tackle a tag game, but I really wanted to do this.

Statistics

My Top 5 Fics by Hits:

I'm assuming this is only for 2024, so going by how Ao3 sorts fics based on the year, we've got these:

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told: JJK, Gojou/Yuuji/Gojou time travel fix-it. Gojou Satoru and Itadori Yuuji travel back in time to avert an apocalyptic future. Sixteen-year-old Satoru has opinions about the whole thing.

(let me be clear) every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered: JJK, Gojou/Yuuji, canon-divergent kidnapping fic. Gojou Satoru kidnaps a teenager, supposedly for his own good.

there’s a lover in the story, but the story’s still the same: JJK, Gojou/Yuuji, de-aged Gojou. Shortly before the Goodwill Event, Yuuji finds that his teacher has de-aged to his seventeen-year-old self. He adapts a little too well.

baby blue, they paid you to take my youth and use it up: JJK, Gojou, Yuuji, role reversal omegaverse. Satoru’s in heat; it’s Yuuji’s problem somehow.

everything burned, as promised: JJK, Gojou/Yuuji, time travel fuck-it. Satoru goes north. Yuuji is a casualty.

My Most Bookmarked Fic:

It's the way it follows you home, the stories i never told by a significant margin.

How Many Words I Wrote in 2024:

540,076

There's a breakdown here.

Question Stuff

1. What was the most surprising thing about writing in 2024?

The fact that I not only conceived of and tackled but also actually finished my ten-year anniversary project. That was kind of insane, especially considering my preferred way of writing—which, these days, involves just writing one fic from start to end with no external factors considered. It was a fuckload of fun though!

2. What was the most enjoyable to write?

It was definitely bloodstains on the collar means just don't ask—a no-powers sukuita+goyuu AU featuring Sukuna as Yuuji's uncle and Gojou as his high school teacher. It was my first no-powers AU for JJK, and while that itself isn't an appealing factor, figuring out their dynamics in this context was incredibly fun and also helped me get a better understanding of the characters, especially Sukuna.

3. Which fic is the most underrated?

Hmmm, I don't know if I'd call any of them underrated, but going by the numbers in relation to my personal fondness, it'd be this is the wrong story.

The concept is one I'd wanted to tackle (but was wary of fucking up) for a while, so getting a finished product I was/am proud of feels pretty great. I'm also very fond of some of the ideas I've worked into the fic, as well as the imagery and metaphors used. That said, it's a fucky concept with graphic vore (erotic consensual cannibalism variety), so I'm not surprised that most people are giving it a wide berth. Those who did read it have been very lovely in their responses 💗

4. Which fic(s) had something "cut" or an idea that never happened?

The anniversary project eventually resulted in four ideas (goyuu sex ed ft. poor Megumi, the aforementioned vorey fic, teen Gojou and the PR in a love triangle with Yuuji, and the Higuruma/Yuuji fic) being struck off my larger list of plot bunnies/ideas to write.

5. Which fic(s) did you want to write but didn't get around to?

Well, the current count is 95! So fuck me, I guess.

6. Any WIPs that never got published?

Oh, so many. Considering just the ones finished and the ones published in 2024—

taking the flesh is the only virtue (posted in 2025)

i could keep your bed warm, otherwise i’m useless (unposted)

bloodstains on the collar means just don’t ask (unposted)

the brute fact of flesh awaiting our teeth (unposted)

7. Share a snippet from a WIP fic?

I'm only working on one fic at present (...been working on it for months at this point), and this is the latest bit:

The twitch of his own cock calls him out on the lie. It’s no distraction. Satoru feels every bit an animal as Yuuji, speared on cock and so tenderly brutalized. “That looks fun,” comes an unwanted interruption. “You gonna share?” Satoru wraps his limbs more firmly around Yuuji, sighing through the flare of hurt. “Keep your oversized paws to yourself.” A mean-sounding chuckle answers him, followed by its owner emerging from the undergrowth. Out of the corner of his eye, Satoru watches Tōji survey the scene, not missing how he lingers on their naked bodies with unwarranted intensity. At that angle, he can’t see the blood-wet marriage between Yuuji’s face and Satoru’s shoulder. That changes when Yuuji raises his head and snarls at Tōji.

8. Which fic was the one you were most excited to write?

I'm pretty sure that was (this is also part of the story) how the story changes, but man, after a four-chapter outline turned into a four-part 24-chapter fic, I was just glad for it to be over 🤣

9. Fic hopes for the New Year?

There are a number of ideas I'd like to tackle properly. But in general, I just want to keep writing for JJK the way I have been and enjoy the company of my fellow fans.

Tagging (no pressure) @tozettastone @cursedvibes @kairos-polaris @actualalligator @naamah-beherit @joeys-piano @rifle-yes and anyone else who wants to give it a go!

[justcallmecj]

Alr, unfortunately I am like, 20 minutes late for this but I'm posting it regardless. I made some art of Zarina, my Touchstarved oc, with the Li and I just barely missed the time to have posted them on her birthday.

Anyway, September 6th is Zarina's bday (and mine) so these are a series of Zarina hanging out with our favorite characters and having fun!

Leander:

This one is actually my favorite. I got adventurous and tried some special lighting since this bg is a nigh time one. And, surprisingly enough, it did work! In this image, I totally imagine Zarina being shell shocked at being princess carried, since no ones done this with her since she was a small child.

Kuras:

I loved this base for Zarina and Kuras, but then realized that there are no bg in the game where this will make reasonable sense, so tbh I have no clue what Zarina is pointing at. Sooo, use your imagination! Also, Kuras has such a complex design (they all do) so I'm happy I was able to simplify it while also getting across the same vibe. (pretty proud of that gold on his chest honestly)

Mhin:

Mhin took a bit of time to do. The angle is new to me and was hard to translate their clothing as such, however, I got it in the end. I tried to add that signature red they have in their eyes, like how I do with the emotes I've been doing, but it just didn't look right for some reason. But this is what I ended up with and I'm fine with it (even if they look a tad bit dead inside)

Vere:

Vere is actually the last one I did, finished about 10 minutes ago actually. I had a lot of fun doing him, but to be fair, I have fun drawing Vere all the time. I wish I had the skill/confidence to do those shear parts to his sleeve but I just didn't. Maybe another time. Vere seems to be quite peaceful and content in this art and I'm glad since that was the look I was going for! Also, why are they at the Seaspring? Their waiting for Ais to come back, of course! (Totally not bc there was no other suitable bgs from the game.)

Ais:

And this was the first one I did for this series. I honestly love this one, just like the Leander one, for a different reason. The concept is so fucking funny. I imagine that, bc Zarina is so physically weak and has no combat experience, she gets in a lot of trouble. And while due to plot reasons I can't discuss yet, she would be fine in the end and come out nearly unharmed, the others still step in when they find out. The idea of Ais picking her up like a wet cat to drag her away from trouble tickles the corner of my brain, y'know? And she looks so dejected!

[meetinginsamarra]

My AO3 wrapped 2024

The Curious Case of the Casablanca Killer 56k

Deemed a three at best, the case of an invisible burglar in a historic cinema who stole nothing only caught Sherlock’s attention because he was bored. Also, he wanted to do John a favour. In the end, this proved to be a real stroke of luck. Otherwise, Sherlock would have missed an intriguing mystery that quickly ramped up in complexity.

I started the year writing/finishing the casefic which is a gift to my friend and beta reader @peageetibbs . This took way over a year to write, as there had been a lot of plotting and figuring out clues and deductions. Also, several breaks in writing because of IRL or when other fics "interfered" and delayed finishing it.

It's a complex intriguing case starting in a historic cinema and our heroes exhibit a well-established friendship.

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Mayprompts 2025 - hosted by calaisreno

The 31 prompts this May generated a boost of creativity that spawned 3 ficlets, 2 limericks and one poem as well as two stories (see below).

Open 

Sherlock comes back from the dead and John welcomes him home in a most unexpected way.

Family Day

Little Rosie defends her best friend and is pretty smart about it.

The Blanket Detective

Sharing a bed with Sherlock ist perilous.

2 Limericks and 1 Poem 

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Also, I wrote two 12k fics, continuously using the other prompts which totally surprised me as their plot developed so quickly nearly without my doing. LOL

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The Perfect Place 10k

Sherlock needs a flatmate and already has the perfect person in mind. Now he only needs to convince his object of desire to move in and also find out if he desires Sherlock as well.

This began with the may prompt "box" and developed into the "Bed Shop Boys-AU" (@helloliriels coined this lovely moniker). The only ever AU where John works as a bed shop assistent! This is pure fun and people claimed in the comments to have laughed a lot. Happy Johnlock end!

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White Pony Tattoo 11k

John Watson needs a tattoo covered up. Sherlock Holmes of "White Pony Tattoo" is one of the best artists in London. He's also difficult and brilliant and beautiful as John is about to find out.

I love tattoo shop AUs and finally had an idea for writing my own. A little bit of enemies (Sherlock is a beautiful, seductive arsehole at first) to lovers (John finds out what Sherlock is hiding underneath his pricky shell), a bit of hurt/comfort and a happy ending.

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Take My Broken Love 48k

Standing on the airfield's tarmac and about to fly off to a suicide mission, Sherlock says what he had always wanted to say to John but never had. His words drastically changed the course of events.

This year's whumptober again sucked me into a deep writing rabbit hole. For about six weeks I used practically all the spare I had (and a lot of time I dd not actually have) to write this. Again, it has been a great experience to be so immersed into writing and again, it was (positively) stressful af.

I had this concept in my mind that all of the main characters' love for someone is broken and flawed.

Starting with an alternative ending of the tarmac scene, the first half of the fic concentrates on their hurt and emotional whump which sets the stage for what happens next. The second half concentrates on Sherlock's mission and features more physical whump. I had a plotty spy mission in my mind with lots of twists and intrigues. I also focused a lot on characterization.

I am still beyond thrilled and incredibly proud that I could pull this off so well. (I know, I'm praising myself, but still, comments confirm it.) I personally think that this is my best writing, technically and plot-wise.

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A Minor Detail

Sherlock has found the perfect flatmate for sharing 221b Baker Street. If only there would not be that minor detail in the small print of the lease agreement. Now, John has no other choice but take part in Sherlock‘s scheme.

I participated in Fandom Trumps Hate for the first time this year and @lostinsherlock44 generously bid on me.

I had this funny idea and then, the characters seemingly acted out of their own will and the fic just developed. This is definitely the funniest thing I have ever written and lots of comments tell about readers having laughed out loud. This makes me so very happy in return that my writing could give people a little good time and happiness.

[jacks347]

I MISSED THE NEW BVZ PREMIERE (THANKS JOB)

So now y'all get my live reaction! (I've never done one of these before, this is gonna be fun)

SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT

Intro is great as always, I love this song so much

Here we go~

WHO?? WHAT??

OFF TO A STRONG START

"Lack of cooperation" My guy it's Albus, that's literally his entire thing

On your family?? YOU LEAVE FAITH OUT OF THIS (and Kerano and Devlin)

OH??

HI DEVLIN WHAT

That design is so good, Glowbat you wonder

Plot twist #1, I expect many more

We're not even 5 minutes in, this post is going to be a fucking Bible-

Does Devlin have freckles?? Did he always have freckles?? Beautiful

Oh Devlin got sassy during the break I like :P

Of course he calls for his brother, the strongest person he knows how sweet <3

Miracle of faith, in more ways than one

Oo, that sounds painful

~DINNER BREAK~

ALBUS! LANGUAGE!

Ooo scary protective Albus

"My brothers. My battalion." Oh-

Aaaaand there's the Albus we know and love XD

"Fuck you and your hat!" Pfft you leave Devlin's fedora alone XD

Oh, back to our regularly scheduled program

Waiter I'm afraid you got some capitalism in my cowboy fantasy

GIMME CROSSBOW I WANT A CROSSBOW

I don't even think Albus knows where Albus went, he just heard his brother calling and left

Ewwwww TMI Albus

LIGHTSABER?? WHO LET ALBUS PICK UP A LIGHTSABER

Oo who's at the door? And why do I not trust it-

Oh it's just Devlin-

Uh oh, Albus has to explain his family~

Hi Mahatma! I still don't entirely trust you!

Why am I playing organizing Tetris-

...oops

"Can I ask you something?" I mean you just did so-

"Do you ever feel...powerless?" Well ain't this a pleasant conversation

"Like you can't save the people you care about" WELL AIN'T THIS A PLEASANT CONVERSATION

Look at Hipswitch showing off his detective skills! I'm so proud

Oh? What's on that ship??

Oh god not more new characters-

The mafia's back that's not good-

Why is the mafia fighting the Triad I'M SCARED

THE MAFIA SHOT DOWN THE PALADIN SHIPS?? WHY?? I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

Another point to the man that can't even fuckin read that he's just a tad bit stupid :P

Boys, boys! You're both pretty stop yelling XD

"Interesting" is certainly a word for it Doc, wait until you hear about the woman they're both in love with-

"Caused any distress" ...do you hear yourself Devlin?

...awkward silence...

Paladins of Cindergorn eh? Looks like we are gonna learn about Faith today

Devlin being a smartypants, Hipswitch giving the most sass I've ever heard in a single sentence, this is great

Ewww I hated everything about that metaphor

"Something doesn't feel quite right" Of course it doesn't because nothing here is ever simple

WHY IS DEVLIN CHANGING COLORS??

"Is there anything else you can actually swallow?" ...Doc that is the wrong person to ask

"Oh...eugh" 10/10 Love that reaction XD

Poor Devlin, he spent enough time single-handedly running a ship-

When did Albus attempt to learn to cook?? And why??

"Don't worry about me" Faith's healer senses are tingling

"I saw you get goosebumps, did I scare you?" Honey considering how this story is going I don't think it was fear-

HIPSWITCH THIS IS NOT THE POSITION YOU WANT TO BE IN WHEN DEVLIN GETS BACK

Oh the secondhand embarrassment is crawling up my spine and it hasn't even happened yet

Please God get off of him before I explode-

And we're safe thank god

"You don't trust him at all, do you?" Would you if you were in my position?

This is really just the backstory episode isn't it

Albus, the hired gun where his last job got him killed, wasn't too keen on being a bounty hunter until he saw the paycheck. Okay that stings a little-

"I'm sure they're fine" *Cut to them being very not fine*

Devlin proudly proclaiming he can't read, 10/10 tension diffused

"We won't tell a soul, right partner?" Sir I couldn't even if I wanted to my mouth is literally just for decoration at this point (don't take that out of context-)

Destroy a sacred scripture surrounded by Paladins of Cindergorn, a certain priestess just felt her eye twitch

Yes Doc, show off that psychology degree you worked so hard for (hi I'm a psych student so it's also the degree *I'm* working so hard for)

"Is Devlin a father?" He's not just a stepdad, he's a dad who stepped up 💪 (that was so bad forgive me-)

Devlin...what did you do...

Okay I do not trust any of what just happened, what are you after Devlin?

Oh god the mafia's back

DOGS?? OH GOD PLEASE NO

NOT DOC!! ALBUS SOUNDS SO WORRIED

Show em what you're made of Albus

Don't talk to Albus like he doesn't know what being trained from birth to be someone's dog is like-

Devlin's going through it again, someone save the poor boy from his flashbacks

Y'know, Redacted being the one getting killed instead of doing the killing is rather cathartic in a bittersweet kind of way

Time to rewrite history! Again!

"What exactly can he do?" Great question, I'll tell you when I find out

Oh great, GB's back on his villain shit what piece of lore are we getting today

I don't trust that music, what's about to happen and is it a sand worm like this is Star Wars (we already had a lightsaber it wouldn't shock me)

I KNEW IT!! ASK ME HOW I KNEW GO ON ASK

WHO IS THE MAN IN THE MASK I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

"I have someone for this kind of thing" Yes go visit your wife and her special bandage technique :D

"Is it a hooker?" "No! It's not a hooker!" He sounded so offended for her, I love that

:O Let someone else fix you up?? And betray wife?? Wait no Wife is Gienne (hello GB Twitch chat :P)

Where's Faith I saw the cast list where is she

WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU BIRD NOSE FREAK

:D KERANO BABY

Oh that art is adorable

SHE CALLS HIM DAD MY HEART IS GONNA EXPLODE

Oop there's Faith-

And Kerano calls her Mom ughhhhh I'm not gonna make it y'all

"It's been x amount of time" Kerano I love you

"Death is too good for him" Yikes

"That's a relief!" "It is?" Pfft-

Faith went from furious to worried in 2 seconds hearing about Albus, that's our girl

"You didn't tell him about your father's death" HEH?? HONEY YOU DIDN'T TELL *ME* ABOUT HIS FATHER'S DEATH WTF I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER FAITH

Oh poor Devlin :(

"I miss him, Faith" Is that the first time we've ever heard Devlin call her by her name? Back in BW he always just called her Sister

Awww hug him for me Faith

Oh yeah, Faith is the only who can actually read-

"Something called Operation Sub Delta" ...what

Oh my god don't read it Faith please god don't read it

And she's reading it-

"You just want an excuse to see him again" Oh look, he's reading the thoughts of the fandom (YES WE WANT ALBUS TO SEE HIS WIFE AGAIN SO SUE US)

"I've actually met someone" EXCUSE ME?? DEVLIN YOU HOE WHO IS IT??

"Look at my choice in men" Ah so she realizes it XD

Come on Faith, connect the dots, I know you're smart enough

And she's done it

Who is Agent and what the hell is happening

Uh oh-

They have the files of the subjects that Devlin doesn't

Which means they can use Albus like their own weapon by probing his training like Kravatas did

Oh I really don't like where this is going

WHAT??

THAT'S THE END??

YOU CAN'T JUST END IT ON THAT WHAT THE HELL

Oh my god this series really loves throwing me for loops doesn't it

OKAY ENDING THOUGHTS

Absolute 100000/10 episode GB you madlad you've done it again

Was completely worth the wait, love seeing the whole cast together again including our new players!

The art is flawless, I expected nothing less of Glowbat

Keep doing what you do you mad genius GB, I'll be holding my breath for the next one (try not to kill me I can't do another 4 months-)

[theorist-fox]

Theo's favorite books 📚

Welcome to my list of favorite books divided by genre and with a mini-review. I might update it every once in a while—in the meantime, enjoy!

Masterlist 🦊

Dividers made with Canva by yours truly

Thrillers

Henning Mankell

I'm a huge sucker for Northern European thrillers, and Henning Mankell is my all-time fave. His clumsy but clever Detective Kurt Wallander is just the best. Mankell is a legend, and there’s never gonna be another writer (or man) like him. My favorites:

The Fifth Woman (My fav)

One Step Behind

Sidetracked

Jussi Adler-Olsen

Again—big sucker for Northern European thrillers. There’s something about the icy colors of winter that goes hand-in-hand with cold-blooded murder. Adler-Olsen’s Department Q is a must, especially with Carl Mørck and my all-time fave, Hafez el-Assad. Whatever you do, avoid the adapted movies—they’re absolute rubbish. My favorites:

The Absent One (My fav)

A Conspiracy of Faith

The Purity of Vengeance

Camilla Läckberg

My God I'm being repetitive, aren't I? Same as the previous two, blah blah blah—Läckberg wrote one of my favorite and most brutal thrillers ever (The Stone Cutter). My favorites:

The Stone Cutter (My fav)

The Ice Princess

The Girl in the Woods

Gillian Flynn

You've heard of her, you know her. Flynn gave us the best psychopathic women in thriller history, from Amy Dunne, to Adora and Amma Crellin. These women can be found, respectively, in:

Gone Girl (The movie adaptation is great!)

Sharp Objects (My fav—and the TV show adaptation is even better!)

Paolo Maurensig — The Lüneburg Variation

Let me be proud of my heritage for once. The Lüneburg Variation is a short but subtle story of vengeance that builds up suspense, all based on the game of chess and how it was played in concentration camps.

Patrick Süskind — Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

Perfume is a well-known thriller. It’s deranged and obsessive, telling a story of depravity and passion taken to the extreme. It's a haunting read that still makes me feel sick to this day, but it's also beautifully crafted. And for once, the movie adaptation isn’t half bad!

Bernard Minier — Don't Turn Out the Lights (My absolute favorite Thriller)

If you're a fan of suspense, this book is a masterwork. Honestly, it's one of the best thrillers I’ve ever read—chilling, cruel, and leaves you breathless, unable to put it down. It’s a story about murder and stalking—ugly, dark, and unforgiving. A true page-turner that had me looking over my shoulder even (actually, especially) when home alone. Slept with the light on for a few days afterwards. Didn't turn out the fucking lights for sure.

Agatha Christie's classics

A thriller list wouldn’t be complete without Agatha Christie’s books. If you're looking for classic detective stories, hers are among the best. My favorites:

Murder on the Orient Express (duh)

Elephants Can Remember

And Then There Were None (My fav)

Romance

Katherine Center — The Bodyguard

A sweet romcom where the roles are reversed: Hannah Brooks is the bodyguard of a famous actor, Jack Stapleton. The main character is sarcastic, funny, and thankfully not annoying (Ha! For once!). Caution: severe mommy issues ahead. It’s a chiffon cake of a book—sweet and fluffy.

Katherine Center — Hello Stranger

Hello Stranger has such a unique concept that I haven’t found anywhere else. Sadie, the main character (okay, she’s a bit annoying, but bearable), is a portraitist who suddenly starts struggling with face blindness. It’s incredibly sweet, and while the plot twist isn’t mind-blowing, I really did like it. Perfect comfort book for when I’m feeling down. Caution: severe daddy and mommy issues ahead.

Sarah Hogle — You Deserve Each Other

A sweet book about two people who are desperate to break up but just can’t. They decide to make it their mission to create chaos in each other’s lives, hoping the other will call off the engagement. It’s a story about rediscovering each other and what’s kept them connected all along. A little childish at times, but overall, it’s sweet and funny.

Fantasy

Holly Black — The Cruel Price Saga

Behold, the only main character in fantasy books that I don’t find annoying. Jude Duarte is actually relatable, clever, and human. She doesn’t stand out because of some superpower or a gift bestowed upon her by a god or whatever—she stands out because she’s worked her butt off for it. It’s an enemies-to-lovers with a lot of plot and a well-built political backdrop.

Stephanie Gerber — Caraval

Ah, the first book of the Caraval series was such a fun read. I devoured it in a couple of days! The plot is super innovative and full of great twists. The main characters are a bit annoying, but the rest was so very nice that I decided it didn’t matter much. The sequels? Not my favorites. I don’t really talk about them. If I see them in a bookshop, I hide them behind other books. Save yourself (I’m being dramatic, I didn’t like them—but hey, if you did, then good for you!).

Stephanie Gerber — Once Upon a Broken Heart Saga

This is a spin-off of Caraval, and honestly, it’s so much better than the original. The first two books are super entertaining, they flow really well, and the romantic tension is chef’s kiss—ugh, first blond crush ever. Forbidden enemies to lovers, plot twists, fates, vampires, curses—it’s got it all! Big shame about the last book, though, it felt a little rushed. But overall, I’ve got nothing but good memories of it!

Fiction

Toshikazu Kawaguchi — Before the Coffee Gets Cold

A warm hug of a book. It tells the story of a café that serves a special brewed coffee—one that lets customers travel briefly back in time to face their fears and losses. But they have to come back to the present before the coffee gets cold. It’s a bit slow, but it mended my heart in ways I didn’t think possible.

Kaho Nashiki — The Witch of the West is Dead

I unfortunately found out that this book hasn’t been translated in English, which is heartbreaking because I really wanted to recommend it to you. It tells the story of a young girl who refuses to go to school, so her mother sends her to spend the spring at her grandmother’s house. It’s such a tender book that I’ve read over and over. The descriptions are so vivid, and I was fully immersed in the story the whole time. It’s about family relationships, the innocence (and fear) of being a child in a big world, and the beauty of small things, like strawberry fields and forget-me-nots. Kaho Nashiki is one of my favorite writers, and I really hope you’ll get to experience her works one day.

For my Italian followers, if there are any, its Italian title is Un'Estate con la Strega dell'Ovest.

Durian Sukegawa — Sweet Bean Paste

Sweet Bean Paste tells the stories of people affected by leprosy in Japan, how they were forced into specific sanatoriums because of the 1956 Leprosy Prevention Law, and how their lives changed even after the law was abolished in 1996. It’s a heartbreaking tale about prejudice and unfounded fear, told through the eyes of a man who owns a dorayaki shop and his dear friend, Tokue. The writing is some of the best I’ve ever read, and I hold this book dear to my heart.

Gabrielle Zevin — Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow

I have no words for this one. It’s a book about friendship, family, love and loss, motherhood, and video games. I know, it sounds impossible to fit all that into one novel, but Zevin pulled it off. I’m completely in love with it, and I’ll never forget it.

Taylor Jenkins Reid — The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

The only time BookTok hasn’t disappointed me. This book is wonderfully crafted, weaving together the past and present of Evelyn Hugo’s life while also shedding light on the cruel, unforgiving world of Hollywood. It has (unexpectedly) a really good plot twist, and every day I couldn’t wait for the evening so I could close my uni books, get cozy in bed, and dive into it.

Shelby Van Pelt — Remarkably Bright Creatures

This book. Oh, this book. It tells the story of an old lady who lost her son many years ago. She works at the local aquarium, where she befriends a Giant Pacific Octopus. Yes. You read that right, but it's just not in the way you think. It’s such a sweet book, with chapters alternating between the main character’s perspective and the octopus’ perspective (Ha! It’s so good. I think about that POV switch fondly every time it pops into my head).

Banana Yoshimoto — Kitchen

A book about loss, solitude, and how to overcome it when you're surrounded by the right people. The protagonist finds comfort in kitchens, which she sees as the heart of the house—where food, a basic need, is prepared to be shared with those you love. I cherish Kitchen, one of the first literary fiction books I ever read. It’s short, but no less deep. A little gem.

Dystopian, Adventure

William Golding — Lord of the Flies

I won’t bore you with my thoughts on this book. I’ve read it a thousand times, wrote an essay about it in high school, and spent hours on podcasts explaining it. I love it to bits—from the writing to the story to the meaning behind it. You’ve probably all read it by now. 10/10.

Ray Bradbury — Fahrenheit 451

A great classic, this one. I’ll admit, it’s a bit slow, especially if you're not a fan of the genre, but it’s worth reading nonetheless. It tells the story of a world where reading is forbidden. In this reality, firemen don’t put out fires; instead, they set houses on fire to burn books—targeting those who hide and collect them, those who defy a government that doesn’t want an educated public, only an easily controllable one.

Yevgeny Zamjatin — We

One of the earliest dystopian novels in history! We is told from the perspective of the protagonist, D-503, in a diary format. It’s set in a world where houses are made entirely of glass, so everyone can see inside. The people are controlled to the fullest, all named by numbers and codes. This book even inspired Orwell's 1984, and it's sad to see how easily it's being forgotten.

Reading allows us to keep an open mind. It’s a way to escape our own reality while stepping into the lives of others—exploring their minds, walking in their shoes, and seeing through their eyes. No matter the genre or its tone, reading offers endless possibilities. Imagination never runs out; it’s the only form of energy that’s perpetual and unique.

Use yours to travel where your body can’t.

Love, Theo. 🦊

[yuseirra]

An analysis of Aqua Hoshino's character and drive & his feelings towards kana

**oshi no ko spoilers**

I'd been following onk time to time, but I def decided to pick it back up after having read aqua's feelings towards kana was confirmed in the recent chapters.

I was all like YES!! Finally!! About time!! because I thought that was something really obvious throughout this piece. I never saw it any other way. (This is my personal take, no offense on anyone who's thought otherwise!!) I wouldn't say I was entirely satisfied with all the things that happened in between..things were a bit messy. I still felt his character was always very consistent, however.

I wrote my thoughts about him, like one I did with Ai sometime back in May. so this analysis doesn't reflect the new stuff that's came after that.. but I still think a lot of what I've written here still stands. This is how I personally interpret the character and the stuff that's been going on in his heart. I think he's the most well-written character in this series along with Ai.. I was impressed about it when I first got into this series, I hope that will remain until the end

*this was originally written in a different language. It's machine-translated+ edited a little to make more sense

I've heard some spoilers about the development of onk, and I feel I did a pretty job with bringing Aqua's character right in my fan comics of him! It was all on point. I wrote a lot of analysis about Aqua's psychology but it's all gone, I wish some of it were left... Aqua's love for Kana is something that's been hinted at a lot, and I don't think there's much room to believe otherwise. I think it's pretty obvious that he's been in love with Kana the whole time. He'd been acting the way he is because the character is very mentally cornered and in self-doubt that he doesn't deserve to find happiness. In turn, he represses his feelings, but when he becomes a little cheerful, you see him turning his attention to Kana, and when he sees Kana, he's revitalized. If you follow Aqua's feelings, it's very natural that it comes out like this, he has a crush on Kana. I'm proud that I recognized that in the latest development, I'm proud that I recognized it properly. I'm so proud. But there was a lot of plot device and all leading up to it, so…I think it was in vol 10? When he thought he didn't have to take revenge, Aqua smiled relaxedly as if he had been saved for a while and dated Kana, so I think the reason he's trying to take revenge is because of his guilt over Ai rather than it being its true wants. He hates himself for having been unable to save the ones he's cared for, and he's so miserable and tormented that he doesn't care what happens to him. The funny thing is that even though he can't tolerate himself being happy, he's happy when he sees Kana. He feels both good and troubled because he can't help having her brightening his mood up again. He didn't have the heart to fully enjoy those feelings, but as soon as he thought there was no need to revenge, he straight makes a move on kana. The reason why Aqua dived back to continue his vengeance is because he realized that the person he was to revenge was still alive and well.

In fact, revenge is a way for Aqua to inflict sufferings to himself. If you look at his psychology, he doesn't enjoy revenge, but rather wants to be comfortable, and he was mentally exhausted to the point where he thought he would die after he finished her revenge (that's how his vows to revenge acted as his reason to continue living for awhile), but when he met someone he liked (Kana) or someone who cared for him(Akane), aqua starts to realize that he has more to live for. There's also Ruby, the precious child he once wanted to protect in his past life but couldn't. At this point, if Aqua goes through with his revenge, he might actually make himself even more unhappy, because he's going to make all those precious people around him suffer with him if he does. He can't just throw himself away now because seeing them makes him want to live a little longer, wish to be happy.

I think the major deal here would have to do with how the "revenge" will be brought out. That is something that's brought in as the main conflict element of the work. Ai's death is the most powerful event in the story, as it's the trigger, and it has a very strong grip on the characters, and it needs to have a strong grip on the story. I don't think any of the readers would want to see it fizzle out.

However, Aqua… I think he's a well-described character. This guy hasn't changed at all. Heck, he's not even that tough. He's not that relentless or decisive, so I'm not sure if he's really going to cut it for the revenge, and I don't think revenge will make him so happy (That's why I think Kana is the one who should take him. I'm not saying they have to be together, but I'd be happy if they end up walking in the same direction in the future. The reason why I support Aqukana is because they have mutual feelings towards each other and they're happy to be together. I think it would be nice to see that happen, but let's see how things'll play out..) I believe the method aqua COULD work with is to give the person he's revenging more trauma than he's experienced himself, and I think that can happen from conveying Ai's true feelings to the said character. Aqua seems to be aiming for that.

One of the keywords of this work is "lie", but the work seems to imply that there is some sincerity in the lies. Ai says that her lies were also love, and I wonder if something about that will come out again?

Anyway, it seems that the Ai's sincerity was not properly conveyed to the person Aqua wants to get revenge on. When told to them in hindsight, it must be something that can shock them in some way, and it seems that Ai herself wanted for it get across too. That's why Aqua wants to create the movie. I feel it's the right direction for him to do so as well, for it'll be passing on Ai's will.

+ Below are some more thoughts about Aqua's psyche.

Aqua is a character that deserves to be psychoanalyzed. I listened to Mephisto again after a long time, and I think the song really captures the character's psychology. I think the deepest core of Aqua's character is that he can't forgive herself for things that he's not really responsible for, and he punishes herself for that, and that punishment manifests itself in the form of not being able to allow himself to be happy, giving up and letting go to extreme extents. He does not value himself.

I think this is an attitude that is carried over from the character's previous life, and I think the death of his mother during his birth weighed heavily on him. He originally wanted to be a surgeon, but he switched to obstetrics and gynecology, and this was the beginning of his struggle. It appears like he was living a somewhat cheerful life up to this point, but that wasn't all, the guilt that he caused his mother's death was always there. Because before dying and being reincarnated, he mentioned something like "I thought that people like me would fall to hell"<. This was in episode 1, so I wondered just what's made him feel that way. If you review the whole story so far, that's about the only reason I feel could explain him downplay himself like that. He was a doctor. He had a life where he tried a lot and achieved something, being murdered and had it all reaped away, he doesn't seem to be so resentful and angry about this. The last thing he thinks is that he should be next to Ai and watch her over well as a doctor. I don't think this is because he has no attachment to his former life, rather, it's probably because he never placed a lot of value on himself., He didn't have a painful life like Ruby did, and he was a really kind and good person his previous life, so it's not like he needs to be so condescending about himself but he's like that.

This attitude of his continues, and Aqua is a bit obsessive about protecting other people's lives because he thinks he's taken someone else's life just by being born. It only worsens after he fails to save a patient he cared about, and his idol, his mother in this life, dies in front of his eyes. Even though he became a doctor and learned medical knowledge to save someone, in the former case, it wasn't a patient she could save, and in the latter case, he was young to do something and with Ai being critically injured, there was nothing that could be done.

The compulsion that was already there could only intensify, and with the death of Ai, I think this character completely lets go of his reason to live, because he hates himself for being so helpless. I think it's easier for him to take all the blame for the situation (even though it's all external factor, and he's not responsible for it) and take all the resentment and sadness for the situation on himself. If you look closely, you can see that even though he says he's going to kill the person who killed his child, he's not really interested in the person himself: what does he look like, how is he living, does he have a family, what is his psychology, why did he kill Ai, etc. If you look at the lyrics of Mephisto, it's like, "I don't care what happens to me as long as you survive," which is very self-loathing. Aqua is in a very precarious state, and he's very depressed. He tries to convince himself that finding and avenging the one responsible for Ai's murder is his sole purpose to live. He can't allow herself to be happy, because his mindset goes: "Ai's suffered such misery, and I dare be happy and live a normal life? No can do, I couldn't protect her, I don't deserve that". <This thought acts as punishment to his unforgivable self, and it prevents him from fully enjoying other things and living in peace.

There are two main ways that this character can make himself feel better: first, in terms of his own behavior, he seems to feel better by helping others. Even though his behavior keeps hurting the girls' feelings, Aqua is a character who likes to help others. He's good at supporting others, and he's often seen smiling behind their backs after having done so. I think the fact that he felt saved when he realized Ruby was the patient he cared about is an extension of this, and it fits his personality to believe it's enough for him to see the girl he couldn't save is living happily If other people are happy, he's happy. That's his core personality.

The other would be to find something to like and love, which, unlike the act of helping others earlier, is not something Aqua does on purpose, but something he came to naturally find in his new life. And it was Kana who gave this to Aqua.

This is why Aqua likes Kana but keeps her at a distance. He's not supposed to be happy, but whenever he thinks, "I want to be happy…" Aqua sees Kana. Spending time with Kana makes Aqua happy. When he think of happy memories, Kana fills him up. She makes him smile, laugh, and relax. He seems to like people like Kana, and he never gets tired of watching her, just as he enjoyed watching her as a fan. 'I'm going to die, I'm not going to be happy, and she's a celebrity now, and being close to me is scandalous, and there's nothing good about being close to me, and I'm in the dark (laughs), and I'm going to lose my humanity and become a vengeance demon, and she's going to be unhappy with me'. He tries to convince himself he's no good, but he still ends up hanging with her because, well, he likes her and it happens. And then he pushes Kana away, because he thinks there are reasons why him and Kana wouldn't work out. He thinks it's bad for her. This leads Kana to think Aqua doesn't have feelings for her, but she still likes him through all that;;; and it's been like that the whole time. That's why they made so little progress while they have mutual feelings towards one another. Aqua needs to forgive himself first before anything, but on his path of revenge due to him being unable to do that, he's done even more unforgivable things that he thinks are unforgivable, he's really screwed up now. He's put himself in a really tough spot.

The fact that someone who's not that compatible with revenge and whose personality is kind in essence is trying to force it (this ties in with Aqua's characterization two paragraphs above, that he likes to help others. Aqua thinks that he was unable to do anything for Ai, so he can't give up her revenge because he thinks going through with it is for Ai's sake), he wavers, and even though he seems to be calm, he keeps hesitating and stumbling. And while doing so, he's hurt the people around him over and over, making him feel self-deprecating and self-hating. That's a really bad cycle. Aqua actually cares a lot about the people around him. If Akane, Ruby, Kana, or the couple who raised him are in danger, he'll hold off on revenge AGAIN. But he can't give up on revenge either. As long as he thinks about Ai, he won't give up.

The only way for Aqua to be truly happy is to live with people who love him. But he also has to make sure that he's done the right thing for Ai, and I think the key is to really understand what she wanted. If she actually fully embraced the person who murdered her… I think that'd be cruel. I don't think it should be so. Idols are people, too. They shouldn't have to accept everything. Should they refuse to hate and resent others even though they died so unjustly? I don't think the manga will go that way, and I think while Ai always smiled, she had some darkness in her heart. So I'm not sure how this will be resolved at this stage, but that's that.

In this piece, Kana is the one who makes Aqua smile at the moment. So it seems like going in that direction would be happiness for this character, but in order for Aqua to get there, he needs to tie the knot with Ai and stop hating himself. I don't know how that's going to happen, but if this comic is going to have a happy ending, it's going to happen. I don't know how it'd get there, but I don't think this comic is going to have an unhappy ending for Aqua at all. I don't think it's going to end in tragedy. That is all!

[cabezadeperro]

2024 in review

I wasn't actually going to do this this year, but what the hell.

2024 has been--weird. I think it's the year I've written the least since 2020, word-wise; it also saw me writing something non-Star Wars related for the first time in four years. These two things may or may not be connected.

Anyhow, this is a pretty short list with five fics that for whatever reason I find the most interesting. They aren't my favourites, they're not the best; but they were hard to write, or I learned something writing them, or I had fun, etc.

half agony, half hope. 34k, codex, T, also known as the persuasion AU though it's more of a homage to one of my favourite novels ever. it was extremely hard to write and it took me a while to get out of my own way and just do it.

you'll like it if you enjoy pining and yearning, smart and competent people so deep inside their own asses they can't see what's right in front of them, the agonies of being 20 and responsible for the lives of millions of people and a clone trooper, jane austen, cody being fucking stupid.

home alone. 2.9k, jango fett/obi-wan kenobi, E. part of my daredevil AU. I don't think it's a very good fic, and I feel too self-conscious to reread it and find out if it's actually bad, but that's okay. The fact that I wrote something like this (that is, something that's quite a bit of my comfort zone for a couple reasons) is good enough imo.

you'll like it if you enjoy fics that are pwp but a bit to the left, trans jango fett, obi-wan being the annoying kind of service top, established relationships and domesticity, superhero AUs that aren't actually about superheroing.

islands. 9.4k, codex + anakin & rex, T. The Force Sensitive Rex fic. I am very proud of this fic. I think it does exactly what I wanted it to do, and I had a lot of fun writing it. I loooove writing these three in different combinations, and I really enjoyed having them interact in such a weird scenario.

you'll like it if you enjoy shrimp emotions, Force Stuff TM, force sensitive clones, fics where there's no Anakin bashing that acknowledge that there is something very wrong with him (affectionate), cody and rex being obsessed with each other, rex being a messed up lil guy.

smoke signals and code. 3.5k, jason todd/tim drake, T. This fic was my return to Batman comics and to this ship after a decade. I think it's kind of rough, but I'm still pretty proud of it, and I had so much fun writing them again and coming back to this world and these characters. In a lot of ways it was very much like coming home.

you'll like it if you enjoy unresolved sexual tension, calculated violence, characters who are too clever for their own good, that very specific brand of fucked-up-ness you find in late 90s/early 00s batman comics, ships that take the trope "enemies to lovers" as a challenge.

irradiated. 1.5k, vader/rex/cody, E. I wrote this as a gift for a friend. It's the kind of fic that is only supposed to be liked by one person--if anyone else enjoys it, that's great, but it is very much tailored for one person's tastes. In this case, that means it is weird as hell. There's a POV change half-way through, it's more of a character/relationship study, it actually doesn't have a plot, it sits right on the border between experimental and presumptuous, I'm not that sure it works. And I had a lot of fun writing it (and my friend liked it ❤️).

you'll like it if you enjoy second person point of view, Vader being weird, a bit of body horror in your not quite smut, open/ambiguous everything, Imperial Era stuff, weird style choices.

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Thank you for the tag, @mosiva! ♡♡♡

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Four of these were easy choices and one was trickier, but in no particular order...

thrown into the nest (T, 10,565 words, WIP)

This fic possessed me. The first chapter took over my entire life for ten hours during which I came up with and wrote the whole thing -- I couldn't stop until it was done and posted. Two or three days later, the same thing happened with the second chapter. It's like I was exorcising demons into a doc file. It's also notable because maybe a week or two before I wrote it, I told a friend I would never write ABO fic. More fool me.

I love this fic because it drew together so many ace people -- I've never felt a greater sense of community than I did in the hours after this fic was posted, seeing the comments of people who saw themselves in Harry and Tom's experiences. It blew me away, and I felt so happy to have done justice to some small part of the ace experience. It was a different type of joy, and a bit more cathartic, to write compared to other fics of mine.

VII (M, 2,609 words)

I think I've said it before, but I honestly thought this would be one of those weird little fics that I wrote for myself and maybe five other people would like. It's grown beyond what I originally meant it to be, and while I really, really love the sequel too, this one holds my heart. It's disjointed and dark (for me), and it's one of the few that I've written that actually has Harry and Voldemort start out hating each other and move through it. (What can I say, I mainly write crack and fluff.) They're both feral and damaged and violent and cling to each other all the tighter for it by the end. I also like making the Unspeakables ethically (and morally) dubious and research-obsessed, and this was my first foray into that.

naïve melody (G, 2,904 words)

The Ferris wheel fic; another fic that I thought maybe five other people would enjoy. I'm still proud of the wistful tone it has, and some of the turns of phrase, despite the crack-tastic premise. It's sweet and silly and it makes me feel warm to re-read it. It might also be my favourite Voldemort characterisation of all the fics I've written.

engrave the silhouette of you (M, 10,480 words, WIP)

Look... I just like hurting them, okay? I used the "angst with a happy ending" tag because I need everyone (myself included) to know it's gonna be alright in the end. I have made myself a crying mess multiple times in the course of writing or plotting out this fic. This is very much a "how would the characters react in this situation if X happened?" fic that has grown legs. It's fun (and painful) to put myself in Harry and Voldemort's headspaces and then put us all through the emotional meat-grinder. But it's going to be fine. Eventually.

Capsized (M, 948 words)

Fun, not-previously-shared fact: this fic started out as a way for me to process my maladaptive daydreams and suicidal ideations through Harry. All of the things he imagines or considers are things that I have, as well. (This makes the one comment that says "MAKE HIM SUFFER YASSSS" really, really funny to me.) I wasn't sure if I would ever post it -- it took me five months to decide to do it, because it's extremely personal. But it felt good to put it all into words and make it... "pretty," I guess? It's probably as raw as I can make it while also trying to fit it into the HP world and have it be enjoyable to read.

(Honourable mention goes to Prompt-ober 2023, because it almost killed me to do it, but it was so much fun to write everyday for a month and have the same folks comment each day and chat with them throughout the month (I love you all ♡♡♡). However, that's like twenty-five different fics in one, so it doesn't count.)

Tagging @liquidluckandstuff, @i-dream-of-libraries, @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger, @aglassroseneverfades, and @hikarimeroperiddle

No pressure, do it if it will be a fun distraction! ♡♡♡

(Note: I recently locked my account to registered users only because of an AI scraper targetting Ao3. If you don't have an account and would like to read any of the above, just send me a message and I'll provide a file ♡)

[hollow-lime-green]

Can you tell us a little about your D&D stuff? -sincerely an avid dnd player who loves hearing about other people’s characters

aaaa sure!

briefly - when I do actually get to be a player, I fucking love playing rogues. god i am so basic and easy, catch me playing a tiefling/changeling rogue 100% of the time. i am a power gamer though, and i'll take a lot of feats to do all sorts of weird bullshit (and the 2024 thief buffs are going to make me insufferable. fast hands has always been my favorite ability in the game, and now thief is finally good for real and not just by dm fiat).

i like every class except artificer and monk (fine just not for me), but rogues have my heart. in every game, skyrim to borderlands to d&d, I like being a pain in the ass from a long distance away. i don't get to play a lot, so i don't have a lot of characters that i'm super tied to, but right now, i'm essentially playing a cabal of tiefling/changeling rogues (one for every subclass) that are running the underground of my friend's city in a westmarch style progressive series of oneshots he hosts at our local game store.

mainly, though, i have always been a perma-dm of my groups, although I am trying to find a group that rotates better because as it turns out, being a perma-dm can absolutely fuck with your interpersonal relationships. i had a really awesome d&d group in undergrad that I DM'd for, and I have a lot of great memories from that. we played on campus for the first two years, then on roll20 for a few more years after that. unfortunately, as most d&d groups do, we died to the BBEG known as Adult Life Schedules.

since then, I've been DMing semi-regularly at a local game shop, sometimes playing, and I've made a lot of in-person friends. we play both at and outside of the shop, but almost all one-shots, although when I eventually move away from this current location, I will probably try to drag them into an online campaign. lots of dm talk and pictures under the cut, since this will be kind of long. :)

Props!

as a dm, i am very prop focused, i love a good prop. it's the engineer girlie in me. sat night I ran a 12th level one shot for my friends to test out some of the new 2024 rules at high level, and what I'm most proud of was my hidden magnet bridge (see below) - this is a progress pic but I do generally keep my sets pretty minimal aesthetically. anyway this was super fun because i set it up as this precarious bridge that they needed to get across and do some puzzles (hence the set), and then i ambushed them with the hidden magnets (actual reason for the set).

this is one of my faves from maaaaany years ago. i could do it better if I tried it again, but it's tough. this was for an encounter where an enemy was locally changing the direction of gravity, so the set rotated. it was surprisingly stable but difficult to play on due to the fact that you have like 270 degrees of the table that can see and then whoever is behind the wall (the dm) can't see shit. this was during my in-person UG years, so baby engineer but still making it work.

this is something I've done more recently that is more minimalist but insanely effective as a minigame. i had some players navigating through a space field, so they had to plot a course through this minefield and peel off the tape stickers one by one to see if they hit a danger. again, left is a progress pic. they all got blacked out. the right one was actually my dm key during the session lol, so I knew what they were gonna hit before they hit it.

I do a lot of mini prop pieces to go on top of my battle map as terrain, mostly cardboard just to give height and make things a bit more dynamic. and i'll usually have some lair action that rotates or takes away some of that terrain. one other thing I'm playing around with is this plexiglass transparent overlay designed for water combat, so I can put biiiiiig bad guys underneath the party. that one is for a oneshot based on the game DREDGE (which I highly recommend by the way - fishing survival cozygame with an eldritch monstrous flair). this lighthouse works as a sanity indicator, so as the party loses sanity (due to the eldritch fish), I can change its color.

i have no idea how i've run this game like 7 times and yet I can't find any pictures of it, but I have a one-shot that is based on Potion Permit (another farming sim cozygame) where the players collect these tiny cardboard tetris pieces and have to use them to complete tetris piece recipes to make potion and Save The Town From Illness! players love a prop, players love a minigame, and i love running those things as well.

Characters!

I have a lot of DMPCs that I love from my long campaigns, but DMPCs can be irritating, so i have shifted away from character-driven things for my oneshots. when I go back to doing campaigns, I'm going to try to do them better? I don't know, getting people invested in OCs whether it's writing or ttrpg is always sort of a challenge. players get invested in the bonds between the party but not often in their actual NPCs. So I'm not going to yap about them too much, but I'll list the concepts of my fave DMPCs:

blind bard who sees through a force field cantrip like cat whiskers - later becomes a seer (like divination) at the cost of losing his blindsight due to Player-Caused Apocalypse. becomes an unwilling consort to an archdevil who rules the wastelands after Player-Caused Apocalypse.

red hag who used a wish spell to free herself of pacts of loyalty but as a consequence cannot form lasting relationships with any creature, and cannot wish again. trying to make a Deck of Many Things to get more wishes and fix this (doomed)

half-fey archer with the mantle of the summer court trying to avenge her parents killed by the winter court, warrior softened by the touch of a woman (autumn fey cottagecore mom friend with an aussie accent). they were fun because the party actually got really invested in them and they got to complete their love story :)

spellthief rogue champion of the gods caught in a messy 'the parents are fighting' situation where the aspects of law and chaos fight. she is going to make a return when i start my next campaign because it's going to be a time loop situation, and she'll be the one resetting the timeline and trying to make off-screen changes (killing monarchs, planting magic items) to affect the future.

[e-adlirez]

The last question you answer about violet having a grasshopper pet being stereotypical make me realize that the girls do be kinda stereotypical in the very first book…(which fortunately isn’t there anymore as the series progress). Though, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I would love to hear your take on the cultural aspect of the thea sisters books. In your personal opinion, do you think the books do a decent job in cultural representation?

It started out with a decent chunk of stereotypes, but what allows me to look past them and love them is the fact that they show the girls growing out of them. For example, Vi (the only one I can actually speak on) is very much the smart and shy Asian kid stereotype (and the occasional esoteric proverb or two), but I love her because she grew into the role of being the group braincell. She's the group braincell, the straight man, the nanny holding four leashes at once, the anxiety-riddled bean who wants to move out of her comfort zone but is scared to do so on her own and thus leans on her friends for support ohmygodshe'sjustlikemefr--

For a series made in the early 2000s, the representation is pretty good! Definitely not perfect (stares at the Chinese proverb thing and Pam being a sasslord with weird-ass slang), but it was very much ahead of its time! The girls did start out stereotypical, yes, but one thing that it did was expand the girls beyond the stereotypes they initially started out with. Violet started as the Asian smart kid, but her character was expanded (if I described how we'd be here all day); Colette started out as a diva, but grew out of it and became a proud girly girl who gets along with Pam even though their tastes in fashion are different; Nicky does have that crazy Aussie in her (which I love), but she's also a goofball and passionate nature advocate a la Steve Irwin (still crazy tho, see that one time she crawled on the roof of a moving train); Pam I think changed the most, seeing she started off as the sassy one with weird slang but is now more the comedic relief who takes charge of the girls culinary itineraries and keeps them grounded; and Paulina's stayed the most consistent, but I dunno if that's saying a lot because she doesn't get that much screentime compared to the others.

One thing I will also appreciate is the extra bit of character building that the girls have that tie the little bits together. Vi has many things she's into and is good at? She is a curious type open to new learning experiences and is also a perfectionist (with anxiety coding), said wumbo combo means she's pretty good at a lot of nerd-flavored things like art and strategy and attention to detail. Pam likes pizza? Her family runs a pizzeria. Nicky is crazy? Yeah she's crazy, she's really good at thinking on her feet even if it means jumping off the outstretched ladder of a speeding firetruck to catch a perp. Colette is a fashionista? She likes looking good and has a good eye for different fashion styles and how to elevate them (and is most likely the reason Pam doesn't just have the most basic of clothes to wear everyday). Paulina is an IT kid? She is also chronically online :D (:'D) and she uses technology to try to improve her corner of the world and remain in contact with her family, mainly her little sister.

Oh yeah and the plots of the books were not that stereotypical, either! Tho take my statements with a grain of salt because I'm not part of any of these cultures, their trip to Japan didn't involve a single ounce of sushi or origami or samurai-- it involved bunraku and a theme on tradition versus passion. Their trip to Hawai'i did involve hula, but that was because they were there to compete in totallynottheMerrieMonarchFestivalweswearsincerelyScholastic, and they do mention the whole volcanic eruption thing without having to talk about Hawai'i religion beyond the white dog superstition, with a little side comment of how business corporates can be more than willing to pull all the strings they can to exploit the natural beauty and the people of Hawai'i. They went to New York and the plot was intertwined very much with the NYC housing crisis in such a way that was easy to digest, even for kids! They went to India and not only set it in an underrated part of the country (Tamil Nadu), they didn't lean into mainstream media stereotypes about India and let the story tell itself as it deserved to! They went to Italy multiple times and, get this, they didn't make a single pasta joke. (Because it's an Italian series that'd be weird if they did.)

But yeah, they treated these cultures with a surprising amount of respect. Like I said, not perfect, but it is a relief how a good chunk of the books still stand up to the test of time.

If you're from any of the cultures they explored in any of the books, feel free to let me know ^^

[utilitycaster]

Well now im curious, what are your top 10 etiquette violations

I'm not actually sure there are 10 tbh in that these are relatively broad - you could split them up more finely if you wanted but they cover a wide range of behavior. Also this is...a bit stream of consciousness. I do stand by 1 as the absolute Golden Rule of D&D in that it's really just so Me Me Me (more so than main character syndrome) that it's inexcusable, but like...rules 2- 6 are kind of all in the same nebulous position in my mind as are rules 7-10. 2-6 are "really bad, have a talk and be prepared to kick this person out if they don't shape up and honestly I would probably not want to hang out with them irl much if they don't shape up" and 7-10 are "maybe don't invite them to game nights but they could be okay otherwise."

Deliberately going against the general vibe of the table. This is the broadest but also obviously worst trait. If everyone else is here to play a serious playthrough of Curse of Strahd and they're all vampire hunters and whatnot and you're playing a clown in a hawaiian shirt named Jeff you are not funny; you are an asshole. I think that person who made the post of like "I'm playing D&D with my dad's friends and they're all fighters with tragic backstory and I'm a neon firbolg who resurrects our enemies and runs therapy sessions" should be beaten with hammers. Like, be unique, but if everyone else is going for a lighthearted vibe it's not time to bust out your darkest PC and vice versa. (This also goes deeper, like, if your table has decided PC death in-game is okay, you can request a change, but if you've never spoken up about this and then your character dies and you pitch a fit, that's on you.)

"Um actually my rich family solves this" and similar circumventing of obstacles in a way that cuts off all story avenues. It's fine to offer your services to help - sometimes the party will want it! But the worst player I've played with (who still did not violate Item 1) did this and short-circuited like 75% of the plot by being like "well my wealthy merchant family can probably smooth this over" and I wanted to, well, beat them with hammers. Brian Murphy of Naddpod calls this "showing up and trying not to play D&D" and he's right.

Closely related to/overlapping with item 2 but Main Character Syndrome. If you're a wizard and there's a nonurgent trial of strength? that is for the barbarian. If they ask for help, go for it, but don't just do everything. Share the table. Self-explanatory but man do some people not get it. I'm also grouping this with "my character wouldn't help" behaviors. Like to be clear, forgoing your turn as a roleplay thing is fine, but another Naddpod D&D Court regular topic is like "the player for whatever reason would not join combat bc their character wouldn't, and we nearly had a tpk because the encounter assumed our fucking cleric would be there".

Actually violating player agency. Closely relating to 2-3. Conflict is great and good. I think it's fine to lie, cheat, and steal from your party members if your table agrees on that. There are spells or abilities that lead to possession which is also valid if your table has talked through that. But you do not get to otherwise like, force another player character to do your bidding (unless your table has, again, decided this is okay). You cannot persuasion check other PCs into going against their desires unless that's a very specific conversation you've had out of character as a table. Even in game, like, the DC on persuasion checks can be arbitrarily high - even impossible - if someone would simply never do it.

Noncombat/non-violent D&D. There are other TTRPGs that are not heavily based on war games with character classes that aren't like 90% battle abilities and you should check those out. Anyone who plays noncombat/nonviolent D&D and is proud of it is dumb as the bag of hammers I'm beating the people of items 1 and 2 for and I don't respect them. I guess this isn't so much an etiquette violation in that if your entire table wants this you can all be terrible together, but it is kind of a dick move, especially since I both love D&D and find the anti-D&D crowd to largely be the most sour grapes-ass losers of all time, but also believe passionately that there are many things D&D does not achieve well because it is in fact a specific game with specific objectives. You should, if you want to play a game that is all social encounters and skill checks and no fighting, play the many indie games that would love your patronage and suit you admirably, not the most neutered, milquetoast, unsalted margarine version of D&D. I genuinely believe that people playing murderhobos or hardcore metagamers are VASTLY preferable.

Not making a good faith effort to know the rules. You do not have to be good at D&D. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting for not knowing every rule of D&D. You only have to let the soft animal of your body have at least read the rules of your character's class, subclass, and race, and show up prepared, instead of being like "tee hee I listened to 5 episodes of TAZ Balance and am going to twirl my hair at the DM and hope they help little old me." The DM is BUSY and has SHIT TO DO. Read the fucking manual. It's okay to be wrong! It's not okay to be clueless on purpose.

Rules for Thee and Not For Me. Mostly a DM thing, and to be clear, the DM does have special rules bc they are the special one and this is obviously not about that. There are also rules that apply to NPCs/stat blocks and not PCs, and those are inherent to the balance of the game and are fine because NPCs have different abilities. But if, for example, you are requiring an athletics check of PCs to climb up on a ledge and don't permit acrobatics, your rogue NPC villain can't do acrobatics either unless they have some specific pre-written ability.

Metagaming pt 1: excessive metagaming: Part 2 will reveal the "excessive" but like. If you know trolls regenerate because you've been playing D&D for years but you are a level 4 INT 8 sorcerer in-game? you do not know trolls regenerate.

Metagaming pt 2: refusal to engage with the fact that this is a game: Sometimes you get the reverse, when people are like "well my character wouldn't realize that this magic item was important to your character" despite the other person RP-ing everything or "would I notice you were knocked out directly in front of me? It's a pitched battle!" Like. don't cheat but come on bro. This is, ultimately, a game. I will once again bring up Naddpod both because D&D Court exists AND they will do rule of funny shit (as Murph once pointed out, if you want to say you go to Ruby Tuesday's as a joke, great, if you try to use it mechanically, no, which is a healthy attitude towards immersion) AND Murph understands the concept of kayfabe.

Really extensive indecision that doesn't involve the whole party. This is mostly me but like. it's not fun, and I am impatient. If you're not an actual play livestream, you should take a break and in fact talk out of game and resume because god this drags. If everyone's on board obviously go for it but if it's one person's choice...babe the spotlight is on you, sing your solo or leave.

Basically: remember you are at a table with other people and you are telling a collaborative story in a system that is combat-heavy. I'm not bothered by (for example) someone stealing another character's item so long as they understand that this may lead to consequences for them! If you can dish it out but you're prepared to take it and your table trusts each other? Great! The problem is when people try to win against the other players, ask for special treatment they do not grant others, waste everyone's time unnecessarily, or skip to the end of the story; that's against the fundamental nature of the game. It's inconsiderate AND it misses the point.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Scared to Commit to Dream Project

xuliaxuxu asked: I'm an aspiring author who has been writing for a long time but never actually committed to my dream project because it scares me. I've read a lot about structure, good character development and arcs, and how it all works, but I'm still scared of not being able to write a story I'm proud of. Do you have any tips on how to get through the outlining process and first draft without feeling so much pressure on your shoulders? And are the first steps in writing a novel where you have so many ideas but don’t know how to organise them? It’s been a lonely process since I have no writer friends to talk about these specific struggles. Thank you for your lovely work here on tumblr it has been inspiring me a whole lot!

[Ask edited for length]

If it's any reassurance, the fact that you've been teaching yourself about structure and character development puts you ahead of a lot of writers when they first start out. But it's also a bit of a double-edged sword, because that knowledge raises the bar for what you expect to be able to accomplish. And unfortunately, having the knowledge doesn't mean you can instantly apply it perfectly. You still need to practice applying that knowledge before you can get really good at it. It's sort of like this: if you wanted to get really good at hand lettering, you could watch hours and hours of videos about how to do it... you could learn about the different techniques and the lingo, etc., but that doesn't mean you'll be able to do flawless hand lettering the first time you pick up a brush marker. You'll still have to actually practice those techniques for a while to get really good at it. Writing is the exact same way. And that can be frustrating because you know what you want to accomplish, and you have the knowledge to get yourself there, you just don't have the actual skills to actually get there yet.

So, here's what I recommend... keep the dream project on the back-burner for now. You can still work on the pre-planning (because even that qualifies as practice), but in the meantime work on other projects to get the practice in. There's a little bit of sacrifice here because you should find ideas you're excited about, but you have to write them knowing they're not going to be your best work. And that's fine, because writing them doesn't mean you have to share them or publish them. You can write them and keep them on the shelf as a reminder of the work you've done along the way. You can also revisit favorite projects later to revamp them with a more practiced skill set.

Working on something you're excited about and love--but which has the leeway to be not your best work--is the absolute best way to take the pressure off yourself when outlining and getting through the first draft. Once you've done this a few times and you know you're getting the hang of it, you can revisit your dream project, and just the fact that you know what you're doing will take a ton of that pressure off. Another thing that will help once you get to that point is remembering that your outline and first draft don't have to be perfect--and they won't be. Part of the writing process is having the flexibility to change things as you go, to tweak and improve, even into the later drafts. Developmental editing wouldn't exist if your outline and first draft had to be structurally perfect. :)

As far as organizing a lot of ideas, you might find it helpful to find a story planner of some kind. These exist as web sites (Novlr), apps (Fabula), programs (Scrivener), workbooks (Outlining Your Novel Workbook by K.M. Weiland), and you can even find time for download on Etsy. You can probably also find free ones to download if you can't spend any money. If nothing else, get yourself a multi-subject notebook and divide it into sections like plot, characters, world, brainstorm and get all those ideas out into their individual sections. Even that can make a big difference.

Happy writing!

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[shadowfalllen]

why hello there!

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

31. What fic meant the most to you to write?

Hello fogno and thank you for the questions! ❤️

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

My goodness, actually so many things and I constantly learn more, like how to make exotic coffee drinks, how learning horseback riding goes, the different ways to holster your weapons in the Wild West era, or what happens if someone punches you in the jaw with a fist covered by a metal gauntlet... 😄 17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing? Most recent has to be in the latest chapter of To Defy The Gods [spoilers for chapter 12] and the whole sequence of Shadowheart and Aylin teaming up to save Isobel's soul. Like all the research I did for the dnd afterlife stuff, the scenes I had around it with Withers showing up and then the climax of Aylin's sacrifice and Isobel's resurrection. I don't know, felt like I peaked a bit with that one. 31. What fic meant the most to you to write?

There's three contenders, all my recent works. My AUs "Where the Heart Stays" and Before the Last Brew" mean a lot to me, I love how they have allowed me to explore a more happy life for Shadowheart. It has felt really nice after diving so deep in canon Shadowheart's tragic backstory for other writing. But if I was forced to only choose one, I have to go with "To Defy The Gods" again. Not just because it's my most succesful work, but because it proved to me I'm able to write a story that isn't only one chapter long or mainly smut. To Defy The Gods has an on-going plot, it's partially a character study and it's a journey of healing and redemption. By the time it will be finished, it will be a book length epic adventure, and even when I have my moments of doubt and insecurities around the story, I'm still quite shocked I'm managing to write something like that and I am proud of it.