#I'm a sad gay boy leave me alone

[kingofdarknessgerard]

Old Writer, New Fic

used to write a lot back in like 2014. Recently picked it back up and of course I chose a dead series and probably an even more dead pairing.

I'm trying to update it like every 5 days, it's already queued for like 42 chapters, so it's a thing. I promise. Check my cute boys out

[evilvillain123456789]

i can't stop fucking old people. it's seriously a problem. their hearts can't fucking take it. they know i'll kill them. but they never say no. i travel city to city with each conquest. i log onto tinder and meet a girl. three chances a year... one for easter dinner, one for thanksgiving, one christmas. she takes me to her house to meet the family. the grandmother and i lock eyes from across the table. grandfather has passed. shes here alone.. sad.. we make eye contact for a while until she excuses herself, and i follow her. sometimes the deed is done right there in the bedroom, sometimes i'm given the number to her jitterbug, to return to her later. she makes me go in raw no matter what i suggest. i break up with the girl shortly after i've achieve sexual contact with one or both grandparents. i've no family of my own. that's true, that's always the excuse. i got a reputation that follows me. that's why i'm always moving. the grandmother often catches a VD from our little quickie. her weakened immune system. she passes away a few weeks later. some time before her time. or maybe just in time. god forbid, she invites me over. i sit in her little rocking chair as she speaks to me. that was her husbands chair.. she eyes me. my presence awakens this within her. i make her feel young again. she leads me to her bedroom. i have no reason to restrain myself, nobody will find us. she comes, then she goes. i clean her up as she grunts from the remnants of her heart attack, and leave her tucked into bed. she lays there peaceful, like shes asleep. that's when i lock the doors on my way out, and head to the next city. the next city, where i'll lay low until the next holiday season. start chatting up some chicks while i'm at it.. god, and the grandfathers. unlike with the grandmothers, they dont need to have lost their love to want me. they always cheat. they always want to use me as a tool to cheat. they look at me in ways their wives havent seen in years, and their wives see this. but their wives remain subservient. they always let him do this. they pray for him, but none of them pray for me. they hate me. they hate me so much. they know what i'm doing but refuse to make it stop. i lead their husbands away and kill them. they know it serves him right. i leave them heartbroken. but they'll never say a word. they'll never say a word about how an ugly little gay boy stole their man and now he's paid the ultimate price. and so have they. they seethe until their death. sometimes i swoop in on them too. silence them. they want me to silence them. but usually its too risky. after all, there are simply some secrets, that one must take to ones grave no matter what. i have nothing to gain from doing this. what i do is completely legal. all are lucid. but i feel as if i'm moving through a dream. i feel the earth around me shift as though i were asleep. i can't settle down. i can't fucking stop it. i want to stop. i want to find love. i feel so guilty. how many women fell in love with me, only to lose me. lose one or both grandparents and i'm nowhere near to comfort her. by the time it comes to mourn, i'm already long gone..

But yes, i suppose you can apply this to your fucking little tomgreg or harry styles or whatever. Yeah dude. You fucked that old man.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

well, it's been a year since i found you all...

My dear maggots,

This is a long letter, but I owe it to you, and I hope you read it. One year ago. That's when I made that fateful Good Omens post. I'd joined tumblr a couple of weeks before that, in some part for Drarry, mostly for some kind of community.

You see, the month before, I'd just dropped out of college, not even halfway through the first year. I'd been isolated by nearly all the students, and the administration took their side. Of the few I'd considered friends, only one checked in on me after. My high school friends were busy with their own college lives. It's a long story, and a sad one, but this isn't about that story.

Hopped up on reading too many tumblr screenshots on pinterest, I threw myself into the hellsite, and finally was able to talk to a couple of people. Some of you have run into my I need a friend post. For once, I had some kind of interaction. And then my dash was flooded with Good Omens and so I made a post trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with the gay angel and demon.

I was in freefall. I'd long since passed the edge of the cliff and fallen over, and everything in my life was upended, and everything that I'd valued about myself, I'd lost. I was in freefall, and you caught me.

Delighted by my utter dumbassery, apparently, you crowded around me and offered theories and fanart and posts and lore. You laughed at my stupid jokes and pulled me in to watch the show with you. You read my summaries and named me the Mascot of your fandom. You were all so, so kind.

Which is why I adore the Good Omens fandom, and why I'll never leave, even after what Gaiman did. Because yes, I'd interacted with him before things went down, and sure, he was involved in the journey, but this isn't about him. I didn't even know he existed before this year. This is about you, and me, and the community that we created. He doesn't get to take that away.

And then, even once I'd watched the show, you stayed. You became my family. You adopted me into your fold. You began to talk to each other, too. Some of you made friends, some of you found qpps, some of you fell in love with each other, some of you found family. And you thanked me for it, but I don't think you understand, it was thanks to you. You did this. You found a sad, lonely boy with a weird unhinged sense of humour, and you saved him. If you were saved yourself, well, I am very, very, glad. Because you deserve that. You all do.

Whether you've never interacted with me with words or whether we've had hours long phone calls, whether you found me out a year ago or last week, whether you're part of the good omens fandom or not, it doesn't matter, I want to say thank you. You should know that no matter what else happened, you are so deeply good. And kind. And you helped me.

I'm in art school now. You were with me while I was searching for a college. While I wondered if I should even join one. You were with me the day I did the entrance exam. You were with me on my first day, and every day after that. When I was at the hospital or at home or on holiday. I knew I was never alone. Because I had you.

You never have to be alone again, either. You gave me a family, and I will do everything I can to keep it safe. I love you, so, so much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

~ Asmi

[mullty]

-Spoilers for Call of Duty Black Ops 6 Ahead.-

Bro I literally teared up. I am honestly only playing for the character that is Frank Woods. I grew up with Alex Mason and his story and recently I've gotten back into it as an adult. I love the arc we have sort've been on with Alex and Frank. They are so special to me and I could go on forever about them- but enough about me-

So Far there are two moments that I've just loved and been incredibly sad at. The shorter one, that you will probably barely notice, is when we are back at the mansion-manor?, home? house?-

We, as Case, are next to my new favorite person maybe ever Felix. The rest are near a fire they have and before Adler radios in with bad news, you hear the end of a funny memory Frank is sharing with the team.

So far, I have felt that even though we have the same Frank Woods, he is a very obviously subdued version of him. It's felt like... I don't know. Do you know when you're pretending you are normal and cracking jokes but you're so exhausted and you'd rather not say anything but you don't want anyone to ask you anything. I do think he's like making an effort but this whole situation starts off with Adler who we later learn is the one being blamed for Frank's "Condition" and the deaths of Alex Mason and Jason Hudson. I wouldn't want to be reminded of that dang mission ever in my life but suddenly Adler is back into the mix and suddenly it's all about Panama and Mason and who Frank once was- and I think it's a lot for him. He's older. He can't fight. He can't move as he once did. Now, he has people he is mentoring. He's staying back while they go. He had built a wall around these people because this isn't forever and he didn't owe them a sob story. Anyway- so yeah it's a big deal that he's sharing a story with them because it's a story about Alex. It's not confirmed but all we hear is something in the realm of (I'm paraphrasing)

"Yeah, we are in D.C. now- Not Alaska." Which prompts a laugh from the people there.

Now. Let's put on our thinking caps on and try to remember who in the game is canonically Alaskan.

ALEX MASON. HE'S TELLING THEM ABOUT ALEX AND A FUNNY STORY ABOUT HIM. BECAUSE FRANK KNEW HIM. FRANK KNEW HIM AND KNEW ALL SIDES OF HIM and Alex wasn't just some coworker that survived getting brainwashed and was basically the best soldier there ever was.

Alex was his best friend. They mention it multiple times in the story.

Frank lost his Best Friend. Most of all, he feels it was his fault because he pulled the trigger.

He let his walls down and he's letting these people in to know someone so important to him.

The next moment is when we go up to talk to him and ask how he's doing. I think there is a visible change in him. He feels lighter.

He talks about enjoying the "thing they have going on." They don't take orders from anyone and they're kind of their own paramilitary group in a way. No hidden agendas just stopping the bad guys. and Case responds with, "You don't have to go back to Langley."

And why would he want to go back there let's be honest.

And THEN HE RESPONDS WITH "I haven't told anyone this but with Mason gone, I wanna look after his boy... Bring him up."

And what had me in this scene isn't that he is going to raise David, We know he ends up doing that.

BUT how much Frank has come to terms with letting go.

Frank obviously to some degree enjoyed his job. I don't know how long he did it for but, he is still involved back at the C.I.A so we can see that he didn't want to be left out completely.

And he gets a taste of that back.

He has found something that works for him and allows him to continue on this path. But. BUT.

"With Mason gone, I wanna look after his boy."

He's going to leave it behind for David and Alex.

He's not going to leave David alone. ALEX WENT BACK TO THAT LIFE despite having PROMISED his son that he was done. because of frank. Frank needed him and Alex saved him.

A lot of fans point at Frank and Alex and say Gay lovers.

and like yeah what about it.

But also I think what the writers are going for is the most devasting option is that these guys are Best Friends and that's so much worse.

Idk if any of ya'll ever had a best friend, but there are moments when you question if God made them just for you.

Because the closeness you feel in your soul and the Love that is the same Love and Loyalty you reserve only for Family outpours to them as well. And they aren't family but they're someone who knows the most inner parts of you. A best friend is someone who loves you back just the same.

I honestly believe that there was nothing Frank could've ever done that would've turned Alex away from him. Frank was blinded by revenge and accidentally killed an innocent girl, but Alex remained by his side.

It just killed me because Frank could've kept going, Idk if he retires after COD 6 something tells me he does, but he doesn't.

David needs him. He needs to keep Alex's memory alive and I personally headcannon that Frank mentions Alex all the time. Like it's rare if you don't hear about Frank's best friend Alex in a whole week because that was Frank's best friend and he was a Badass.

Anyways there might've been more for me to say but it's late .

(Excuse typos and anytime I type in caps it's because I'm yelling.)

[medusapelagia]

One. Big. Step.

written for @steddiemicrofic (Prompt: one | 1111 words) and @steddie-week (Day 2, Prompt: Touch Starved) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: none Words: 1111

The anticipation is what makes Eddie antsy. 

When someone starts to walk toward him, his heart starts beating faster and louder, his ears buzz, his breathing gets too accelerated (air hunger, as his mom used to call it), and he begins to sweat, profusely, leaving a dark damp stain under the armpit of his t-shirts, which is the main reason he always wears black t-shirts. Or t-shirts with black sleeves. 

When the person walking toward him is Steve the Hair Harrington, well, it's even worse. 

Eddie's tongue gets entangled in his mouth and when he's finally able to speak a few words, the ones that come from his mouth are either stupid or cruel. But even if Eddie hates himself for that, in some ways it works perfectly well because Steve freezes, a sad smile painted on his face, and mutters, "I'll see you around, Munson," before turning and leaving Eddie alone, which is exactly what he wants. Because Eddie the banished has only one big fear: being touched. 

It's a fear that comes from afar and even if Eddie is ashamed of it, it’s not something Eddie will overcome easily. 

In his entire life touch meant hurt. Every time Al Munson came home drunk, every time a policeman caught him stealing some food, every time a teacher dragged him to the principal office, their touch meant hurt. And pain. And blood.

Those people left a wound in Eddie’s soul; a wound he’s not sure it will ever heal.

It doesn't help that the only person he trusts is not very outgoing either.

Wayne never hurt him, but never tried to touch him either.

And now he’s untouchable.  

None in the Hellfire Club dares to hug him, not even Gareth, who has been his best friend since they were kids. To be honest, Gareth is his shield, the best one he could have ever asked for. He's the one who detects Eddie's anxiety and puts himself between the threat and his best friend and in Eddie’s opinion, that’s fucking metal. 

It doesn't matter if most of the time the threat is just a girl asking for a pen during English class or a boy getting too close to Eddie in the cafeteria. Gareth is there, ready to lend a pen or step between Eddie and the rest of the world.

Gareth is the person who knows Eddie intimately. He knows about his past, that he deals to make ends meet, and that there's a kind spirit hidden under the metal jewelry and the fake attitude. What Gareth doesn't know, it's that even if Eddie is scared of touch, he has finally met someone who makes him feel butterflies in his stomach and almost makes him wish for things he never thought were possible for him, like holding hands or even kissing. And that person is Steve Harrington.

Eddie knows that there's something between the two of them, a kind of opposite attraction they both feel, but how can he surrender to the pull he feels when even the idea of getting close to Steve makes him shit his pants?

"Maybe you should start gradually." Gareth wisely proposes when Eddie finally confesses his tribulation to him, "Choose someone you trust and ask him to touch you or something like that."

"Wouldn't that be weird? Like… Hi, can you hold my hand for a moment? Don't worry if I freak out, it's a normal reaction."

"You could start with Wayne." Gareth replies, gulping down his soda in the hot Indiana summer, "He knows you're weird."

"Why didn't I think of that? Hi Wayne, can you hug me? Yeah, I'm weird and I'm also gay and I need some physical contact before I try to hold hands with my crush. Very subtle and not suspicious at all. He won't kick me out of the trailer. No sir."

Gareth sighs, slouching on Eddie's broken couch, "You know he wouldn't. He had so many reasons to kick you out and he never did, but if you don't want to ask him, I get it. What if I volunteer?" Gareth asks, reaching out with one arm.

He gives Eddie the time to stop him or move away, but the metalhead swallows all his fears and gives him a little nod.

The contact between Gareth's calluses hand and Eddie's elbow it's not pleasurable, but it doesn't make him jump out of his skin either.

"You ok?"

Eddie nods, quietly, focusing on the feeling and identifying every single sensation. The warmth of Gareth's skin, the roughness of his hand, the steadiness of his arm. Eddie closes his eyes, takes a few deep breaths, and then he whispers, "Stop."

Gareth immediately releases his soft grip, his eyes pinned on Eddie, "Still ok?"

"Yeah. I got a bit overwhelmed." Eddie confesses, turning his attention towards a dog barking a few feet away. Noticing Eddie's attention the dog starts to pull at the chain even harder barking in his direction and Eddie wonders why a barking dog is less scary than a friendly touch.

"We could do a little exposure therapy if you want. Here at the trailer, where you're more comfortable and none can see us.”

With a snort, complaining in a low voice that exposure therapy seems even more complicated than dealing in a small town like Hawkins, Eddie begrudgingly agrees to do a few cuddling sessions, as Gareth mockingly calls them, every day after band practice.

Maybe it's not a lot, but sitting close to each other on the same bench, or brushing their fingers while sharing a joint seems to be really helping, and after a couple of months, when Dustin invites them to see a movie at Steve's place, for the first time Eddie seats on the couch, not on the bean bag as usual. Dustin stares at him open-mouthed, but a stern look from Gareth is all it takes to get his attention back on the screen.

When Steve gets back with a couple of bowls of popcorn, the only empty seat is the couch where Eddie is already making himself comfortable, putting his feet on the coffee table while yelling something against the movie director.

Turning toward Steve, Eddie simply asks "Aren't you going to sit?"

Steve gives the biggest bowl to Dustin and puts the small one in the middle of the couch, to keep some space between them, and when their fingers brush above the popcorn bowl and Eddie doesn't retreat, Steve gives him the best smile ever.

Maybe sitting on the same couch watching a movie with the kids isn't the most romantic thing ever, but it's a step. One. Big. Step.

permanent taglist: @katyawriteswhump

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 20

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

hello hello! As promised the tattoo reveal.

I survived getting half my sleeve lined but boy am I sore. Tattoos on your hand are the absolute pits. Like no joke, hand tattoos are rough my guys. 10/10 do not recommend, but I'm doing it because it looks cute LOL.

This tattoo will be a tea themed sleeve. Featured on this half: hibiscus, chamomile, green tea leaves, raspberries + raspberry leaf, and lemons. I have another appointment in December and January to get the shading done but for now just lines!

I did not have tea with this chapter but that is okay- let's get into the notes!

I was so hung up on Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu's relationship that I totally forgot an entire war is brewing. Well. Here we go LOL

unrelated but important question- what is their ship name???

Okay we are starting the chapter strong with SQQ's gay panic LOL Re: SQQ lying to himself, the reader, and the gods about him actually meaning that he missed the light of his life LBH p241

These two!!!!! "Then why didn't you come look for this master inside the dream realm" p242

"Whenever Shizun is at Cang Qiong Mountain" Luo Binghe said quietly, "When Shizun is with other people, he always smiles so happily. So I thought you wouldn't miss me". p243 This guy is the absolute master manipulator or he just requires unlimited amounts of reassurance. Either way My HEART!

The cat and mouse game at this point is wild. Really Shen Qingqiu needs to figure his shit out because the "accidental" flirting is horse shit. p245

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 "Why does it sound like i've become your father" p246. NO THANKS. But also no wonder it feels weird as fuck- SQQ does not want to be LBH's daddy (in that way).

OOP! FINALLY. Luo Binghe is totally sus about SQQ's knowledge about the future and other things he really shouldn't know. I really hope it's revealed that he is from another world and Luo Binghe is chill with it. p248

Liu Qingge walks into any room in which SQQ was seemingly alone: p250

This is a side note but I really like Qi Qingqi, this woman is fierce as fuck. Like no nonsense I would 100% trust her with my life, death, and rebirth. I do suspect that she doesnt play a large role in the story but I wish she was present more. I do totally want to eventually read some fics with her in them because she is such a badass. p254

Dang! So the realm merging begins! I am sad though that they don't want SQQ to go, but I get it; he keeps running away or getting grievously injured. Also it's so weird that no one is really questioning how he has this much knowledge of future events, they just kind of accept it and run with it LOL (except Luo Binghe who has done the most questioning). pp256-257

Xuan Su is so fucking cool!!!!! p257

Well I am sure that LBH reputation points will increase now that he's saved Zhao Hua Monastery! p260 Thank fuck too, because I really wasn't seeing a positive end game for him and SQQ if he wasn't able to turn his reputation around.

This cheeky guy LOL "Shizun I have missed you, it's been so long" like the fool wasn't sitting in his lap the night before LOL pp261-262

SO AWKWARD LOL. LBH telling everyone who is important that he only cares for SQQ and will only do what SQQ wants him to do and will do absolutely anything for him. Meanwhile SQQ: . I DIED: "Peak Lord Shen has truly raised a good disciple. He's become our cultivation world's tremendous fortune." Though he said "raised a good disciple" the tone was no different from the way he might say "married a good husband." pp262-263

Well. I thought it was embarrassing before, but then we get hit with the "Luo Binghe nodded solemnly. "Yes." His face spread into a smile. "And Shizun is mine.". p265

I really love every conversation between SQH and SQQ. The understanding they have and the banter is so good pp266-267

LOL LBH : I am sooooo tired, let me fly with you? p268

LBH really is shameless! The public hand holding!!! Now it makes me want to read fics from LBH POV- we get SQQ this entire time, but I want to see what LBH has going on in there LOL. p269

He really was yeeted

RIP SQH. May you not die in that hole. pp270-271

[absolutebl]

Okay, FINE, the shows you should watch for BL's QUEER AF roots

You ready to go hunting?

Many of these are difficult to find. Also many of the images of them and their posters have been block/banned by tumblr, so, no screen grabs for you! (Good times.)

I don't necessarily *like* any of these, but if you are queer and in this fandom and need to dialogue around BL's queerness - these are going to provide a foundation for you. They are important for various industry, reputation, directorial, and cultural reasons. As seeds often are.

Trigger warnings throughout.

The true beginnings:

Boys Love, Japan's 2006 movie is a REALLY rough start featuring a journalist + hot model = murder gay, mild necrophilia, cheating, abuse, rape, and suicide for love. Start as you mean to go on, why don't you, Japan? Is it queer... maybe? Is it BL... honey, I am very sorry to inform you, this started BL.

Note: Yoshikazu Kotani is famous in og BL circles since he acted in 3 early BLs, both Boys Loves and then Same Difference. Also he v tall and hawt.

Eternal Summer, Taiwan 2006 - unlike Japan, Taiwan did NOT start how it would, eventually, go on. But what a messy way to start. A high school story of 3 besties in a love triangle, self discovery, and sexual awakening that fucks it all up.

No Regret, Korea 2006, is a very unhinged queer catastrophe piece about a lost gay man who ends up a host and then almost a murderer because of both his job and his identity.

Note: This is the directorial feature film debut of Lee-Song Hee-il Korea's (so far as I know) first openly gay director who specialized (to this day) in queer content.

The Love of Siam, Thailand 2007, this was Thailand's queer awakening, sure they would backpedal for YEARS after, but in 2022 they began to remember what this movie was (and did) and overtly referenced this quiet little masterpiece. This movie is sad but stunning in that way that the best queer works from Thailand can be (like Present Perfect or ITSAY.) It has Thailand's quintessential softness around theme and character, which you'll understand perfectly when highlighted against the backdrop of the early 2000s works from Japan, Korea, and Taiwan. Thailand will never lose this soft style and it's one of the most attractive qualities of Thai BL: it's never very harsh with us or its characters. This movie very easily COULD have been quite harsh indeed.

I thought long and hard about including Rice Rhapsody AKA Hainan Chicken Rice (Hainan ji fan) on this list and finally decided it doesn't really qualify. Still let me mention Hong Kong's 2005 movie. It is amazing, fascinating, and very rough going for an ostensible comedy. It wasn't the actual beginning because few saw it and Hong Kong never really picked up or ran with BL let alone QL, but it was hella queer. It's also hella homophobic.

Just Friends? (2009 Korea) - this is Korea's first (kinda) upbeat version of a BL featuring already established boyfriends, one of whom is on military leave, trying to decide on coming out, family life, and the future. All of these are themes Korea will pretty much never tackle again, retreating as they would to their bubble. But what a fun little offering this little show was and is to this day. You should watch it.

Like Love 1 AKA I Love You As A Man: Part 1 - China's 2014 offering is actually pretty classic early form live action yaoi with things like whipping boy, a university setting, rich/poor jock/nerd pairing, hard grumpy/sunshine and a very odd title. It's pre-censorship with an HEA, also explicit, yeah China once did that. This is a lot less queer that it is classic BL and classic Chinese romance, neither of which have any kind of connection to reality. But hey, that's what I'm here for. But it's important to note the drifting away from queerness beginning to occur.

Love Sick - Thailand's 2014 "boys in blues shorts" high school set soapy (in all ways) offering is widely considered the true beginning of Thai BL and by default, eventually, BL as we know it today. (As the biggest producer they somewhat dictate taste and trends in the genre.) This is one of those BLs that owes almost nothing to yaoi, although it started a number of tropes that are now endemic to Thai BL. What it is, instead, is a well scripted story of bisexual self-discovery and the inherent chaos of loving someone of the same gender for the first time, all wrapped up in hormones, existing relationships, and communication issues. It is high school queer angst at its messiest. Nothing is going to be easy for these boys because queer isn’t easy but also because life isn’t easy… welcome to adulthood sweethearts. Is is overtly queer? For 2014 Thailand? Sure is.

Love Next Door 2 a movie from 2014 and one of Thailand’s early very high heat pieces, it’s odd, but sexy I guess? Some unexpectedly decent queer rep including femme characters getting screen time + HEAs. (Part one from 2013 has the same high heat content and features the same lead character (and actor) discovering he is gay with the sex worker next door, but isn't as good nor is it relevant to this installment.)

A few other unknowns, for the queer babies

Wait For Me at Udagawachou AKA Udagawachou de Matteteyo - from Japan in 2015, this is a story about two boys in high school one of whom is a repressed outsider and the other who has a terrible secret (body dysmorphia & cross dressing). When the first boy discovers what's up with the second one, his reaction is very much fetishization. "Oh Japan must you?" kinda started for me with this show. But in this case, Japan, weirdly MUST. This is the ONLY show laboring under (and testing) a pointedly straight lens (or is it?) and identity examination (yes but which boys' identity? that's the question) that I've EVER seen even edge into the BL genre. It is crazy queer, even as it mostly focuses on the fetishization of identity from an outsider's perspective. I WISH more people in fandom would watch it so I could at least talk to someone about it.

The Lover (BL Cut) Korea's 2015 series had multiple couples in an apartment complex, one pair of whom is a BL romance between a Korean man and a visiting Japanese tourist (played by a Kpop idol). It's comedic, slapstick sexy only (no kissing), but basically starts up Korea's bubble and use of idols in BL. It's kinda fascinating to watch them dodge around and still represent gayness in what (is sadly destined to become) a very Chinese way, but which Korea in pursuit of Hallyu and market share would morph into the bubble.

Mr. X and I from China in 2015 is a compilation piece and, I think, the first of this kind of multiple narrative shorter grab bags AKA "Sampler Pack BL." Two of the stories are very queerly sad, but the third is CLASSIC BL of the kind that would become China's best (and last) true BL, Addicted.

Sweet Boy, (Thai 2016) Chimon's first gay role and it is quite sad, oddly sexy, and similar to Dew the movie or My Bromance (just so you know what you are in for) but the acting is on point. When Thailand goes dark, this is how they do it, but this is rough going for baby queers because that's the darkness it is exploring. Our old thematic friends: the pain of self discovery and coming out into a homophobic environment and unfriendly reality, and the cost of being the one able (and willing) to stay in the closet.

Method (Korea 2017) this movie is a May/December actor/idol pairing, that should have been everything I wanted in life but is more about the older character cheating on his wife and their weird “artsy” relationship and frankly, I hated it. And I don’t say that lightly. Is it queer? Who tf knows, but is sure has some interesting things to say about the nature of PERFORMATIVE queerness.

Red Balloon is Taiwan's 2017 precursor BL to their biggest and most famous prestige piece Your Name Engraved Herein. If you're making a choice, choose that instead, but this series certainly paved the way for it to come into existence. Both shows tackle the pressures of culture and social structures on self acceptance and identity and the loneliness inevitably caused by conflict between the two.

(As indeed does Life Love On The Line, Present Perfect, Grey Rainbow, Tropical Night, My Sky, and many other queer meets early BL pieces that revolved around coming out and family acceptance.)

China's 3 2017 "they tried to censor the gay... and it went HORRIBLY wrong":

Beloved Enemy,

The Fairy Fox,

Mr. CEO is Falling in Love with Him.

Honestly these 3 are basically the uncanny valley of BLs.

The Novelist AKA The Pornographer series (2018-2020). Messy psychological machinations, gaslighting, fetishization, sexual corruption, and more good times from "well, what did you expect?" Japan, but also no holds barred queer, just well and truly fucked in the head (and arse) about it.

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - Drama llama queers so queer and so dramatic it's like Japan is trying to PROVE something: obsession, cheating, break-up, reunion, then break up again, all of it explicit. This show is just SO JAPANESE. I can't even, but you should watch it and you'll know exactly what I mean. Something like My Personal Weatherman owes it's lineage to this kind of BL. If you like Japan naked, boney, emo, and smoking (hot & ciggy) you will love this, and should watch it. It's objectively amazing, I can't stand it, but I NEED people to talk about it more.

More Queer Stuff about BL from moi

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity - I Am Gay versus I Like Men 

Will BL Get More Honestly Queer? 

Actually gay, not BL gay - the idea of “by queers, for queers, about queers,” the BL bubble, sanitized gay, and a queer lens

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Touch & Daisy in Secret Crush On You - Queer Coded Language and 3rd Gender Identity

BL in Taiwan & Gay Marriage

Debating Queerbaiting in BL ( + Devil Judge… is it queerbaiting?) 

BL Actors and the Assumption of Queerness - outing actors, coming out, being out, more:  Is that BL actor actually queer?

So is it really fetishization? straight women loving bl 

Some BL fans are sasaengs, and it’s a problem in this fandom 

BLs That Highlight How Society Treats Queers

10 BLs That Are Honest to a Queer Experience 

If you like these kinds of shows try the "Moody Arthouse Smackdoodle" section of this post too.

Happy watching!

(source)

[michaelswilliam]

ok idk if this is me wishing it or it could count as st5 prediction/speculation but since we got that pic of will, mike, holly biking around and holly is like 90% confirmed to be the missing kid in S5EP2, imagine if storyline goes like this:

EP1 is when the "what painting?" conversation happens between mike and el

i don't think this is when they will break up, but mike discovering that all will said to him was not from el, would be the seed of him questioning the state of his relationship with el

S4 Mike still think that the most important thing in his life is being El's boyfriend, but him realizing that El might not love or need him in the way he thought she would would be the catalyst of him starting to accept that this relationship might not be something worth continuing

I don't think Mike has clocked Will's feelings towards him yet by the time he finds out the painting wasnt commissioned by El

Will comes out to his mother, mike, el, lucas and dustin

it will be heartwarming and sweet, el and joyce will immediately tell him that he's so brave, lucas and dustin will be shocked at first but they will quickly move past it and go in for the hug

mike, however, will stand, alone and frozen on his feet. i think this will definitely causes him to question his own feelings. realizing that homosexuality isnt something thats a taboo. that it is real and his best friend is gay. boys can be.

this is when his own internalized homophobia will surmount, when he will question his own sexuality, and it will scare and confuse him and he will remove himself from the premise. he needs to get away

everyone, especially will of course will take it as mike being homophobic and unaccepting

el might confront him, which can lead to another fight. adding further cracks to their relationship

will might try to talk to him, sad scene. will genuinely thinking it might be the end of their friendship

but mike will pivot the conversation, he will bring up the painting.

mike tells will that he is angry that he'd lied to him.

will apologizes, but mike is still irrationally angry

he accuses will of ruining his relationship w/ el. which got will confused bc didnt he help mike to say i love you to el?

(mike of course wont be able to rationalize this. inside he is angry because he realizes that this relationship shouldve died in the first place, and now he's at the point where he thinks he cannot break up with el. not after the confession.)

"it's not my fault that you don't love her the way you said you do!" will cries out, "i'm sorry for lying to you about the painting, alright? but you can't blame me for whatever is going on between you two."

"but do you?"

"what?"

"do you love me the way you said you did?"

"what do you mean-"

mike steps closer to him, "everything you told me about how el felt towards me, all of it was you, wasn't it?"

and because ST loves interruptions, this is when something or someone cut their conversation, leaving it hanging in the air. this is when everything related to will shifts for mike.

mike will start to clue in will's feelings for him and realizing that the idea of being loved romantically by him actually delights him.

mike will cope with his own sexuality and feelings for will vs relationship with el, he might out some distance against will and el as he does this.

will is heartbroken, he thinks their friendship is forever broken because will has ruined mike and el's relationship with his lie and will knows that mike probably knows his feelings for him and hates him even deeper because of it

this is when vecna comes in and fucks with will's head. starts to isolate him with his surroundings.

EP2: apocalyptic hawkins, everyone is assigned with something. someone from the adults assigned mike and will to do an errand while accompanying holly to go to a friend's house or a park or whatever.

will might try to protest, but holly insists for will to come bc she enjoys his company and mike reluctantly agrees

tense moments shared between byler with holly as the buffer

something happens to holly, she's taken. this will be the event that causes mike and will to stick together throughout the season, confronting each other and their feelings for each other.

YEAH SO IDK I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN IN ST5

[weralika]

i would also love to hear your thoughts about kandreil being codependent and toxic please and thank you 🙏

SORRY I MISSED YOUR ASK SOMEHOW!!!

so lemme begin 🙂🙂

the most dependent one is kevin, obviously, because of raven's partner system and everything. when he transferred to psu, Andrew (whether he wanted that or not) became his partner and Kevin would be so broken when Andrew starts to spend time with Neil more than not.

Andrew is angry about that!! because yes, he wanted to save that stupid boy, but he didn't know Kevin would never learn to be by himself, Andrew would never treat him with that kind of caress (I dare say) if he knew Kevin would become addicted.

so yes, Kevin is addicted

there we can imagine Kevin leaving PSU and crying in his bed with dirty sheets because he misses them so much he can't even do the chores properly (same bro)

Neil is the smartest one 🙂 he quickly realised that they have a strange kind of friendship and he knows that their tension is mutual (somehow??? he was oblivious with Andrew I know, but he just knows they like each other)

he still feels some awe when talking to Kevin because wdym KEVIN DAY is training ME??? is that a dream? wtf

so he would never cross the line!! because of Andrew he learnt the concept of consent and now he's afraid to make a mistake (he is 99% sure that Kevin wants to kiss him but that 1%)

their relationship starts when Kevin gets so jealous he almost tells them to stop flirting and fuck already (bc he knows they do fuck. he has ears, unfortunately)

he only tells them to be quiet bc he has a lot of homework and Neil strikes with "I'm not your homework, but you can do me" like maaaan wtf is that (Kevin blushes, Andrew asks if they want him to go away and then long conversation about kevin not being gay and not being in love with them)

almost instantly they become a wreck!! because Kevin needs so much attention that sometimes he tries to ignore their boundaries!! he is stupid and wants to kiss!! he feels guilty as fuck after being scolded he almost cries (sorry is it too ooc???)

he learns how to be not that demanding (imagine having 2 boyfriends and still it's not enough) and Neil tries to help him (he hugs him actually)

when they are apart, Kevin is sad as fuck but when together he is a little nervous most of the time, because he is too afraid to ruin everything (like he checks if Neil really wants to kiss him)

also this post became just my rant about Kevin but he's really terrified of being a third wheel and tries to give them time alone even if he's so hungry for their attention he has to grit his teeth after saying "I'm going for a run alone because I don't want to interrupt your crazy chemistry"

Andrew is afraid of losing them!! he thinks he's not enough for Neil and Kevin, he's not even so interested in exy and they have so much in common and he is just stupid traumatized boy who can't show affection when Kevin needs it, he's so useless that they don't even ask him about going pro anymore, they do not imagine their future together like andrew does.

they do.

Neil is just a stray kitten in a warm house who thinks he would not spend another night there :D so he tries to make the most out of their relationship! he kisses Kevin 70% times he wants to be kissed, and other 30% is Andrew or no one because they're not in the mood

it turned out not toxic or even codependent I'm sorry ☠️☠️ but I tried to describe my vision or them close (as I can) to canon, not some ugly shit I have in my brain about andrew being (a little) abusive or Neil being a fucking cheater which I am guilty of thinking about!

[jenlrossman]

Darts as a metaphor for gay sex between Miles O'Brien and Julian Bashir

Yes, I'm serious. Bear with me.

Miles and Julian first play darts in season three, episode 16, "Prophet Margin."

They are playing darts because Julian was getting tired of racquetball—since Miles's wife has been away, they have played 106 games of racquetball. ("Rivals," the episode where we first see them play racquetball, make a strong case for that being a sexual metaphor as well. So basically Keiko is gone and Miles has been… "Playing with Julian" a lot 👀)

There's some good natured mockery/flirting, and Julian ends up throwing off Miles's concentration by mentioning his wife.

In the next episode, season three episode 17, "Visionary," Miles convinces Quark to put a dartboard in his bar. Quark argues that no one has ever come in asking for a dartboard, but Miles assures him people will.

To me, this reads like trying to convince someone that marketing specifically to queer people is important even if no queer people have ever complained about not being marketed to.

Miles and Julian play darts twice during this episode as well, but nothing particularly gay happens (outside of them being gay for each other in general).

Season three, episode 24, "Shakaar," has Miles playing darts with various guys on the station until he ruins his shoulder and needs to have Julian perform surgery to repair it.

Well that's what you get for playing with people who aren't your boyfriend. It's called karma.

In the fourth season premiere, "The Way Of The Warrior," Miles and Julian invite our old buddy Worf to play with them.

He throws a dart, and it goes extremely deep into the board.

The boys look intimidated. And rightfully so. As Jadzia will later (happily) learn, sex with a Klingon is anything but gentle.

(I wish he had thrown two darts, wink wink.)

Keiko returns in "Ascension," season four, episode 17, thereby ending Miles's "year as a bachelor," as Julian calls it.

Miles spends more time with his family, even trying to teach his daughter to play darts (in this context, darts with Molly does not represent sex, it just represents him trying to be a good father and husband and not having sex with his boyfriend). But he is clearly missing Julian; look at the way he longingly gazes at the outfit they wore together:

Julian has also been unsuccessfully playing darts with other people, and he and Miles lament that it just isn’t the same without each other. Eventually, Keiko arranges for them to spend extra time with each other because Miles is so depressed.

Season five, episode 16, "Dr. Bashir, I Presume?" reveals that Julian is augmented and has exceptional strength and hand eye coordination, among other things. This makes Miles realize Julian has been letting him win at darts all this time.

He is understandably upset that his boyfriend has been… uhhh… "faking it" 👀 and makes him play from 3 feet back to level the playing field (Miles metaphorically using marital aids).

He also suggests Julian play blindfolded. 👀

The next, and last, significant time they play darts is in season seven, episode 23, "Extreme Measures."

This is the episode in which Miles and Julian go through a harrowing ordeal which forces them to finally acknowledge that they love their significant others, but they like each other more.

At the end of the episode, the boys are playing darts in the bar. They are drinking. Miles is struggling with his sexuality at the realization of how close he and Julian are.

He says he needs to go home to Keiko. This is the conversation they have, word for word:

"She's a hell of a woman."

"That's why you love her."

"Mmm. That's right. That's why I love her."

There is no eye contact. It is awkward as hell. Is very obviously Not About Keiko, but rather Miles's last ditch attempt to avoid admitting that he would rather be with Julian right now.

So he leaves. Julian is alone, sad.

Then Miles pops back into frame. He has reconsidered. "Do you want to come?"

They leave the bar together, but not before Julian throws one last dart.

It's a bull's-eye. He scores, and, if you believe my metaphor, it won't be the first time he scores that night.

[butch-bakugo]

Proshippers: omg why can't antis just leave us alone! 🙄 Don't like don't read! Cultivate your online experience!

Antis: ok. * Mass blocks you* *puts you on our DNIs * * Ignores you*

Proshippers: Wait no! I sustain myself on complaining about you! My identity is only based on how " weird" I am! You guys aren't even complaining about me making graphics harassing you guys telling you your assault was actually your fault! How can I complain about harassment and bullying when you guys don't harass or bully me! You won't even respond when I screenshot your posts and laugh at you? When I complain about the concepts of a dni because most exclude me?? Don't you get it! We're the real victims! Somehow your a puritan and a bigot and a Christian for not liking my art of two siblings fucking each other and drawing porn of an underage live action character using the likeness of the child actor who played them! Don't you understand?

I only exist as counter culture and you guys have to keep up our fight! If you disappear I'm just a sad weirdo! You can't just block me out and ignore me like I've been asking you to! Hello??? I only exist on twitter, Tumblr and Ao3 where my creepy rape mindset is normalized by other Nazis and Openly pedofil-i mean radqueers and paraphiles! If you guys let me fall into obscurity than how can I sustain myself! How will I exist in my mind as a cool nerd who fights censorship if you guys don't censor me and just let my art fail with zero engagement??

What do you mean I spend more time drawing porn of kids and defending my right to do so on the internet than actually getting the therapy I need to stop drawing sim cp period? What do you mean therapists in mass discourage fictional cp cause it often leads to offending and there's tons of documents and resources proving that available with a simple google search?? What do you mean my art isnt coping because its used to groom others and continue the cycle of violence because I make no attempt at hiding my art or content from children period but especially those in broken homes who assume its ok because my content aligns with their real abusive experiences?? What do you mean I became the villian and creep who caused me real harm and 32 year old women thirsting after teenage boys on the Internet are not the revered fandom elders i was told i should become? What do you mean I'm the type of fan no one likes and constantly has to bring up so other's know they arnt like me? What do you mean we've fostered a community that actively harms victims of abuse and children en masse and normalized it so much I'm completely tone deaf by sending traumatizing incest fanfiction to my friends? Arnt they the real abusers by not letting me retrumatize them over and over again and claim their silencing me because I cant send links to rape porn in their discord server??

What do you mean I can't compare my fetishization of sex crimes to fans of horror movies cause it's a false equivalency and only my contribution is condoning the violence by painting it as sexy and desirable and my tiny disclaimer at the bottom basically means nothing when everything else I say isnt aligned with it?? What do you mean I show my true colors when I'm faced with the reality the only people who benefit from my fictional cp are pedophiles?? What do you mean rape victims don't like it when I portray rape as some sexy coercion and I know I'm wrong simply by the fact I try to hide the real word for what I'm writing/drawling under inconspicuous shit I made up like non-con and dub-con??

I'm supposed to be the victim, not you!! I'm the real victim! Your a bully for ignoring me and blocking me! This is clearly harassment! You clearly hate gay people because you don't like my gay pedo incest art with no actual sensitivity and I exclusively made it to jerk off to and not catch a felony or address my own rotting morality by justifying my wank to child porn drawn in an anime art style because they are fictional and not real! I know I recently identified also as a paraphile and a ficto-zoonecrosomnopedo but not everyone who likes my realistic porn of animals and children also clearly have my mental illnesses that are going completely unchecked! I'm the victim in all this, don't you know! I'm the victim!!!

[gingersnapwolves]

Kouri’s year in review, a thing I’ve always done and definitely didn’t make up out of nowhere in an attempt to do an autopsy of how I watched so much fucking TV this year and didn’t end up with a new hyperfixation despite my best efforts.

All ratings are based solely on my personal opinion of these shows, I'm not a licensed critic and I don't even play one on TV. Shows listed in no particular order. Shows with an asterisk have a canon LGBT character, two asterisks indicate an onscreen, confirmed, reciprocal LGBT relationship. These are not shows that necessarily came out in 2024, only shows I watched (or tried to watch) in 2024.

tl;dr favorite show I watched this year: The Double, favorite BL pairing this year: Ruan Lanzhu/Ling Jiushu from The Spirealm, favorite character of the year: Ai Di from Kiseki: Dear to Me, shows I felt an urge to create fanfic for: somehow zero. Send help.

Reset - C-drama - a show I watched on a whim after seeing it referenced, like, once, somewhere on tumblr. Time loop bus explosion! Actually quite good. I’m not normally a huge fan of time loops but this one was very well done and more of a murder mystery that they were solving as the murders took place. Interesting characters (the cat apostle owns my whole heart even if I don’t remember his name) and fairly well paced. The leads were cute together. 8/10.

*Ready Set Love - Thai Drama - dystopian fic where there are hardly any men in the world and women compete to marry them on a live dating show. Really interesting concept but fell a little flat when it came to exploring the implications of said concept. Likable characters and fun to watch. 7/10.

**Love Sea - Thai Drama - two guys meet on an island and fuck about it. //sigh// I’m sorry but this show was just. Bad. FortPeat’s chemistry carried this whole thing and made it watchable but that doesn’t make up for the fact that it was poorly written, poorly paced, had inconsistent characterization, and the villain honestly made no sense. Is he a diabolical sociopath or is he just a fucking loser? He cannot be both. 4/10 and at least two of those points are awarded to Fort and Peat for just being so much fun to watch.

The Double - c-drama - this was hands down the best show I watched this year. Imperial era political intrigue thriller plus romance. Interesting characters and amazing chemistry from the two leads. Great villains. Probably my only complaint about this show (beyond the last 10 minutes pulling a weird ending out of nowhere) was how obsessed it was with facial close-ups. I mean, I get it, they were trying to do something there, but it felt so weird to me haha. Anyway 8.5/10.

*Dead Boy Detectives - American - exactly what it says on the label; dead boys are detectives. This was a fun little show. Great characters and interesting mysteries. I’m really sad it won’t get a season two even though I completely understand and support why. What the fuck was up with that guy in the whale? Was he God? 7.5/10.

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble - Taiwanese drama - teenager with survivor’s guilt gets supernatural powers and wishes they would leave him alone. A fun romp. I really liked the fact that he wasn’t dealing with ‘ghosts’ but with supernatural manifestations of people’s obsessive emotions. It put an interesting spin on the genre. Would love a season two of this one. 8/10.

The Spirealm - c-drama - Video game that kills people who play it! Very gay even though it’s not allowed to be explicitly gay. Loved the first half. Each world was interesting, the characters were super fun. It started to lose me when main characters started dying off and then really unraveled at the end. I still literally have no idea what happened in the last episode LOL. First 26 episodes get 8.5/10, remainder gets 5/10. Make of that what you will.

**Kiseki: Dear to Me - Taiwanese drama - You know what, I’m not sure how to summarize this show because it couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a rom-com or a drama/thriller and so in the end, did not do a great job being either. Good characters but what even was happening? And by ‘good characters’ I mainly mean ‘Ai Di, a terrible little feral gremlin, is hilariously awesome, and everyone else was just kind of there’. 6/10 plus a point just for Ai Di comes out to 7/10.

**Only Friends - Thai drama - a group of college friends are messy bitches for 12 episodes. If you enjoy characters being messy bitches, you will like this show! I have to be honest, I watched it for FirstKhao and disliked both the other major pairings (and honestly, only Khao could have made Ray a tolerable character, in a lesser actor’s hands I would have hated him too). The abridged version which is basically just their characters gets about a 7/10 from me. Everything else is 3/10.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook - c-drama - unhinged trio wanders the jianghu solving crimes. Oh man, I really wanted to love this show. I wanted it to be my new hyperfixation. And I did enjoy it very much, particularly Fang Duobing, who’s my blorbo. But I couldn’t make heads or tails out of a lot of the mysteries, and most of them were ‘solved’ just by Li Lianhua explaining a bunch of stuff the audience couldn’t have known. It was a well-put-together show but for some reason it just didn’t grab me. 8/10.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - American - I forgot that I had watched this so uhhhhh make of that what you will. To be fair, I’m probably not the target audience. It was cute but I don’t have much else to say about it. 6/10 but again, not the target audience.

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead - Anime - man with terrible job wakes up in the zombie apocalypse and decides to live life to the fullest until he gets zombified. Cute and surprisingly emotional at points despite being kind of silly on the face of it. Will definitely watch season 2. 8/10

SHOWS I DID NOT FINISH

The Good Detective - K-drama - I was enjoying it but realized it was going to piss me off if [spoiler] happened so I spoiled myself and stopped watching. Sorry but I don’t vibe with shows that revolve around preventing a certain unjust event but then have that unjust event happen. Major bummer.

**Meet You at the Blossom - Thai/Chinese drama - couldn’t get past episode 4. The two main characters were just really obnoxious in my personal opinion. I love a himbo but found JXB to be less ‘himbo’ and more ‘purposefully oblivious because that let him get what he wanted’ which typically made life difficult for everyone around him. The other character whose name I don’t remember was like, what if tsundere managed to be uninteresting.

**PitBabe - Thai drama - Affectionately, what the fuck was this show. I can handle weirdness, but this show was just . . . kind of fucking stupid lmao. Could not finish and from what I’ve seen about the show since, I’m glad I quit when I did.

[imzsuzsis-blog]

The last time I saw Lando was a few days ago, even after the tennis final, a blond-haired whore didn't get off him, but in the end, in a strange way, Holge told him to leave him alone, he's probably going home now, just as he'll have time to pack his stuff and take the dog, and then he'll go train for the race. Well, I think the roommate stopped there to say that it was a dog, and so did I. "Where did he get it from?" "Guards took in the beauty from a shelter." ,,Beauty? A girl? Damn, didn't he have enough Uno? Now he has another one pulled up next to him, I'm talking to him. don't send him anywhere just friends. I don't know what's wrong with him in Melbourne, he even took a pregnancy test and told me that he might be pregnant because he missed it." "Kids, stop, there's worse! By the way, hello, mother will cut off him ears and eardrums for this." ,,Cic hello! He's crazy since he says he's pregnant." ,.He says so? He's really pregnant, he seems to be taking a minimum, he's trying to cover up what he told Max and Pietra, Max's reaction I'd rather drive your sports car before the fetus gets hurt, even though he already knew Pietra froze, I was there Callum couldn't bear to spit and swallow, he just blinked when he found out that the boys they can also be pregnant."

"What the hell??? I got my ears pierced???? Where do you get this from again????” I looked at the secret chat group on my cell phone and it was full of people arguing about it, sometimes jokingly, sometimes seriously, the older ones seriously, how to take it out, it doesn't look good, the ones my age are jokingly, it's very good. Only I knew the answer to this, I took a photo and wrote it down, it's a fucking pimple that grew in the wrong place, stop it, it hurts and it's big, and this fucking breast is embarrassing, that's why I'm constantly wearing a fish tank because it's bothering me. "Honey, why are you angry? That's when you're cute, right?" Loki lay next to me and caressed my upper arm, then he lay on his side and looked at me. "There's gas, everyone's focused on my hormonal acne and they think I've pierced my ears." "Are these normal? Who was?" My sister, "Well, if it was meant as a joke, it wasn't a good joke." I lowered my head and asked Loki for a sad kiss, which came in handy as the twins were very fond of each other, but one of them resisted. When Doctor Yin told me, I burst into tears, I'm not a big cryer, but we really expected them to be sick, but they felt this was a trick and that's all I told Max, he didn't take it well last time.

"Well, it's getting weirder, it's not a pimple, it's a piercing." I hung up the phone after I wrote back so that he could finally do the truth about this shit, because he sure did. em acne because I had it too, I don't even admit it, it's fucking embarrassing and sometimes it hurts, this is how life has to be put up with. "Oscar, what's wrong? I know you shouldn't tell your girlfriend everything, but I can tell you everything." "What the hell is this?" I looked at my picture, it looked like a small tattoo that one's child plays pranks on after a drunken night. "I think an embarrassing tattoo that you can get drunk on guys is the slut tattoo." "Maybe this will be fucking new to you, but Lando is pregnant, you American bastard!!!! This isn't the series How I Met Your mother, you stupid person."

,,What??? They're getting dumber. Loki You have to see this.” I admit, yes, I have a bitch tattoo, but I did it last year on New Year's Eve, drunk in Bali, not exactly legally, and sometimes it can hurt during the day, and I also have a navel piercing. I was sixteen when I did this out of rebellion with a group of friends, so I don't keep in touch with any of them anymore, they became exterminating jerks when it turned out that I was gay. That I'm smitten with the ex of the mistress, who is a boy and right, we went to an art history and finally got together. Berdon is my first boyfriend. and the first boyfriend I told that I love him, so far I told a boy named Alex. It all ended badly, it was written in the lyrics when I heard the first one from him, I could sob for hours, but I wasn't the stupid one as it is, he was because he cheated on me with another boy.

I caressed Lando, it was very nice the last few days, especially the girl, what's in him ear? He thinks the girl talked to him, a fucking bitch, even a WAG, and it would be shit, the dog and mine, I don't understand what's the trial lesson in chat, it's secret I'm in the WAG chat and the problem is how big I wrote that my daughter and a beauty should be called I'm hoping for a baby... The air here is also freezing, a lot of questions from who is pregnant... I wrote from Lando Ollie Bearmann... Freezing... But Lando boy questions... Answer In one word, he's not intersex and he told me he'd already given birth and ended up in a bad place because of him father... Anger...He was still a teenager then but he could have done it but him father wouldn't let him, now he's an adult he feels he can do it and leaves him alone and he wouldn't want him there it would be only the mother when the little one was born. ,,I'm trying to stop here too, but Kelly..." I kissed him hair and sniffed the poor thing because it was more and more obvious that he was pregnant, but it didn't bother the cameras, and the fact that he's with a boy instead of a girl, which freaks out the girl fans even more, is lately, the poor thing just cries, I can hardly comfort him, I even brought my dog ​​beauty to make him happier, but not as often as he goes out on the street, the paparazzis are screaming after him, where is the beautiful girl Norris. "It doesn't work for me, I prefer to cover myself and myself on the weekend. This is not a situation. I always knew that I loved boys and not girls. It's bullshit what they write about me."

[born-to-seek-and-destroy]

My step by step reactions of the nightmare before kissmass

Update: Little did I know the author would see it on my tik tok and like comment twice and repost

!!!Spoiler and swearing warning!!!

The nightmare before kissmass is a brilliant book I actually read it in basically one sitting, I loved it and definitely recommended others to read it as well as I grew attached to this book from chapter one I love it and it has become my favorite romance book I've read as well as the first book I've read in 2025

Chapter one:

That's sad he was trying to help

His dads a dick

His mums a bitch

OMG THEIR ALREADY KISSING

HE DISAPPEARED

AHHHHHHH

chapter two:

He's trying to find him, cute

His mums still a bitch

Now we're on royal formalities, slay

I'M SORRY THE FUCK?!?!?!?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!

NOOOOOOO!

chapter 3:

His dad has upgraded to a dickless asshole

hope can't wait wait for that to be destroyed

OH MY GOD YOU ASSHOLE OF A SANTA

*muffled screams*

FUCK OFF

THEIR GETTING REUNITED AND THEY PROBS DON'T KNOW IT, YAYYYYYY

FIX THIS YOU SPOOKY FUCKERS

Hold up not prince damnit

THIS FUCKER IS SERIOUSLY NOT PLANNING ON ARRANGING ANOTHER MARRIAGE OF IRIS TO THE HALLOWEEN. SHE ISN'T EVEN HIS DAUGHTER

Oh he beefing with Halloween

Ooooooo that deal is gonna backfire

Chapter 4:

Oooh shit about to go down

YAYYY THEIR REUNITED

Awwwwww he's flustered

Chapter 5:

Wait it's been a year?!?!?!?

"Stake your claim"?!?!? *gagging*

His father has upgraded to dickless asshole weirdo

"What, should I stick a flag in her?" Heh

Awwwwww he's protective

Chapter 6:

Iris paint his nails black

Awww they're talking about the good traditions

YES THEY'RE (his nails) BLACK AND ORANGE!!!!!!

he's thinking about snogging him. Cute

Ooooooo jealousy of their growing friendship damn

Oh my god fuck off and leave hex alone you horrible santa LET. HIM. SPEAK!

Oh my god him and iris are giving platonic besties right now

OH MY GOD WINGMAN IRIS I LOVE YOU

THERE RACING TOGETHER FUCK YESSSSSS

Chapter 7:

Awwww he's asking the reindeers name

EEEEEE THEIR LAUGHING TOGETHER

THEIR MAKING DISNEY JOKES OMG THE CUTEST

*GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET*

HE STOPPED TO HELP HIM

THEY ALMOST KISSED AGAIN

Chapter 8:

Their talking

OH MY FUCK HE KNOWS IT'S FAKE

OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDD

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOW THEIR KISSING LIKE COMPLETELY SOBBER OH MY GOD

I'M PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER I REFUSE TO SLEEP TILL I FINISH THIS (it's 12:44am at this point in time)

AHHHHHHH

Oh my god they're gonna fuck at some point

YES STAND UP TO YOUR FATHER COAL YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN

Chapter 9:

I'm. Going. To. Deck. This. santa. INTO. NEXT. WEEK.

OH MY GOD THIS SANTA IS A CON MAN

HE'S STEALING SHIT OH MY FUCK!

OH MY GOD THE PLOT IS THICKENING REAL QUICK

THAT FUCKER IS THREATENING HALLOWEEN!!!!!

HE JUST DESTROYED HIS OWN SONS HOPE IN HIM WTAF

OH MY FUCK I SWEAR IF HE TRIES SPLITTING COAL AND HEX UP I'LL SOB GENUINE SOB. (Highlight foreshadowing to chapter 18)

I SWEAR IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THESE TWO I WILL THROW MY KINDLE AND BURN IT

HEX!, COAL IS HAVING A PANICK ATTACK, GO HELP YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 10:

Brother bonding time

Sad brother bonding

HE MADE GOOD ON HIS THREAT WITH THE ELVES HAHAHAHAHA

OMG HEX IS GOING TO ICE SKATE WITH COAL. THE ROMANCE!!!!!!

"Visions of him biting my neck"... Kinky

HE'S WEARING A PUMPKIN TIE WITH SANTA HATS OMG I LOVE HIM

THEIR FLIRTING

oooo it getting spicy

*giggling kicking my feet*

JURASSIC PARK REFERENCE?!?!?!?

(I did end up going to bed it was 2 am and I was going to explode if I kept on going)

Chapter 11:

Aww this is adorable

their learning about each other

HE HAS A DEAD SISTER?

Oh my god this is so sweet I'm actually crying

Damn we're thinking kinky again

THEIR PRACTICALLY CUDDLING WHILE SKATING, OMG PLEASE TELL ME THIS RUINS THE ARRANGED MARRIAGE

NO FUCK OF SANTA LET THEM BE GAY

HE RUINED IT, HE'D STILL GET THAT FUCKING ALLIANCE IF HE JUST REALIZED IRIS AND KRIS ARE IN LOVE AND FUCK IT HE'D GET ONE WITH HALLOWEEN IF HE JUST LET HIS SON BE THE BISEXUAL BOY HE IS WITH HIS GOTH BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!

Chapter 12:

YES GO TALK TO HIM

IGNORE WHAT YOUR FATHER SAID BE HAPPY GO GET YOUR BOYFRIEND

HE'S GOING TO HIS ROOM

THEIR GONNA SCREW

I'm sorry what?

Why you calling him daddy even jokingly, tf?

*giggles in confusion*

YES SOLVE THIS ENGAGEMENT MESS

FIX IT!!!!

Awwww wholesome romance moment... Their gonna start going at it in a minute

Oop their snogging

Ohhhhh they're really snogging

Ahhhhhh they're gonna gonna shag

Ahhhhhhhhhh he left

Chapter 13:

Awwwww he's bringing hex food

The little homosexual babies

I'm sorry a what?

Oh it's a sweet

Heh white boy moment

Oop we getting spicy again

Awwwww he gave him a ring

Back to spicy

Awwww back to sweet

Oh. My. FUCK

ohhhhhhh they're going at it

They're really going at it

Chapter 14:

"Nothing bad will happen" oooooohhhhhh that has to be foreshadowing (spoiler it was)

Real

FUCK OFF SANTA

HE JEALOUS RN

WE'RE NOT BRINGING UP WHAT HE CALLED HEX IN CHAPTER 12!!!!!!

their sexting

YES PLOT TO OVER THROW YOUR FATHER

REMINDER YOUR DATING HALLOWEEN BOY!!

Chapter 15:

AHHHH THEIR SO ADORABLE TOGETHER

FUCKING PORTALS? EXCUSE ME HEX?!?!?

How can they go form flirting with innuendos to sweet and adorable moments in 2 seconds

I'm sorry can we go back a few steps, rewind

WHY ARE THEY VOTING FOR WHO IRIS MARRIES WHAT. THE. FUCK!

THEIR TALKING SHIT ABOUT COAL NUH UH I WON'T STAND FOR IT

awwwwww hex made him a gingerbread man

AHHHH THEIR OPENING UP TO EACH OTHER

LITTLE BABIES OMG I LOVE THEM

THEIR KISSING IN PUBLIC OMFG SJDJFJRBF

Chapter 16:

Sexting again dinner edition

I want hex's corset vests like I need them at this point... Fuck it I want his wardrobe

THEY WHERE CUDDLING WHILE WATCHING A CHRISTMAS FILM A CHRISTMAS FILM HEX PICKED!!!!!!!

HEX IS SPENDING THE NIGHT IN COALS BED

THEY'RE FUCKING STRIPPING OMG

OMG THEIR HAVING SEX OMG COAL HAS HEX LITERALLY IN HIS MOUTH

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING FOR ROUND TWO

HEX GETTING BOLD WITH HIS REQUESTS

OH MY FUCK!!!!

.....

.....

Why is some of this smut the best I've read

....

OH MY GOD THEIR FULL ON FUCKING

OH MY GOD HE'S MADE HEX SPEAK SPANISH

This has stunned me to silence

it ends so sweetly aswelll oh my god their so fucking CUTE!

Chapter 17:

Fuck

No no no no no no no no no no NO!

HE FOUND THE LETTERS

WE'RE FUCKED

OMG NO

AHHHHHHHDHDBCJDJDNDJDDNDJDJDNJD

HE RAIDED HIS FUCKING ROOM?!?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK

FUCKING PSYCHOPATH

SANTA YOU FUCKING COWARD

*insert small break where I watch the last 10 minutes of the lion the witch and the wardrobe while messaging my other insomniac friends*

KRIS IS STANDING UP TO HIS FATHER OH MY FUCK

HE JUST TOLD HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

YES KRIS DEFEND YOUR BROTHER!!!!!!

he's sending hex home...

YOU FUCKING COWARD NOT LETTING YOUR SON LOVE WHO HE LOVES AND EVEN PRETENDING TO GO AND HIT YOUR SON WHAT THE FUCK

Chapter 18:

So ehm I don't think 3 more chapters is enough to fix what happened here.... I'm currently crying :')

*had a chocolate break just as Remus Lupin says 'eat, you'll feel better"*

Chapter 19:

Right recover chocolate on standby Narnia at the ready for after math LET'S DO THIS!

(It's 1:44 am)

*proceeds to procrastinate for an hour out of fear* RIGHT WE'RE FINISHING THIS AND I'M GOING TO SLEEP IMMEDIATELY AFTER

...

HE'S DOING IT ANYWAY

YES STAND UP TO YOUR DICKHEAD OF A COWARDLY FATHER COAL

JUST GET YOUR BOYFRIEND BACK AND WE'RE FINE

He went to message hex... He deleted it before he sent it

I'm sad again

Chapter 20:

SANTA YOU FUCKING MOLE RAT

WREN I LOVE YOU

HE TRIED TO WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Chapter 21 & 22:

YES COAL CRASH YOUR OWN WEDDING

FUCK YOU YOU HORRIBLE SANTA

OMG KRIS YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN FIXING YOUR BROTHERS RELATIONSHIP

THEIR DANCING FUCKING FINALLY!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ven0moir]

ONE SIDED LOVE IN ST ... SPOILER ALERT: BYLER IS NOT ONE SIDED.

In S2, the show gave us examples on how they set up a requited vs one-sided love triangle ... and what's interesting about it was that Mike mirrored BOTH parties; the one who got their feelings reciprocated and the one that did not. Take a look at how it was blocked.

In the very first scene of the season, Lucas tells us what's going to happen; 'Princess Daphne' aka Max in this analogy, will end up with him (this was confirmed by the Duffers btw. This dialogue foreshadowed Lucas ending up with Max).

When they first see Max, she's introduced as the new student, aka, she is alone/has no friends. When Mike first saw Will, it was the first day of kindergarten and they were BOTH alone too. Then, Dustin and Lucas both approached Max and asked her to join their party. Mike approached Will and asked him to be his friend.

Mike is mirroring both Dustin AND Lucas, which is also why there were TWO Venkmans but Mike insisted they can only be one. (In meta dialogue, only one would get together with their love interest.) Now, I believe this is all FORESHADOWING Mike and Will ending up together (I don't think Mike was aware/had feelings for Will yet)

When they all go trick or treating, Dustin and Lucas end up spending the night with Max while Mike ends up spending it with Will back in his basement. (It is unclear how long they all were trick or treating for/how long Will stayed over with Mike but since it was established they'd be picked up at 9pm, I'm going to assume that's how long they were together)

Now this is where things shift a bit and it is then Will who mirrors Lucas; they both tell their love interest about the supernatural, and ask them to keep it a secret from others.

Then we see Dustin find Dart and get distracted from his crush on Max by taking care of someone mysterious that is unknown to him but fascinating and intriguing. Sounds familiar?

(I might have to make a whole ENTIRE post on this alone tbh, since there's a limit to how many screenshots we can post but boy, these parallels are quite telling.)

In Mike's case, he also sensed that El would be the key to finding Will. Now before you call me a weirdo for this comparison you need to remember that the Duffers did call Eleven and Mike the 'ET and Elliot' of their show. There are blatant ET & Elliot/Mike & Eleven parallels in the show. So Dustin & Dart/Mike & Eleven parallels were done intentionally.

I mean, even in an interview they said Mike felt like he was taking care of a puppy or something like that, which these parallels bring home. What I think they are trying to portray is their CURIOSITY, not any sort of 'love at first sight' instance. Hence why Mike also has parallels to Benny in the way he met Eleven, because he did see her as a person and not some sort of 'pet' or experiment. (I will actually make a post about this since I feel like it deserves the context, but we'll leave it at this for now).

The party split up after they met in the AV Club to discuss Dart. Lucas and Max got closer, Will and Mike got closer, and Dustin went off on his own, then eventually ran into Steve.

And then when the season closes, this happens. Now what's most interesting about this is how Mike is mirroring Lucas. Eleven showed up and he gets to dance with her instead, just like Lucas is dancing with Max (and he even copies Lucas asking Max to dance).

However, he is also mirroring DUSTIN.

Mike looks sad/conflicted because Will is now dancing with a girl, and we see Dustin staring sadly into the distance as Lucas dances with Max. We also see Dustin dance with Nancy-someone he idealized and at some point had a small crush on, but that eventually he will also let go of in favor of someone he connects with better, just like Mike is dancing with Eleven.

I think that what this set up ultimately foreshadows is that Mike's relationship with Eleven was never meant to be a long-term thing. Whether you think Mike is gay or bi, his feelings with Eleven never developed in this way because they were never able to fully connect romantically.

If we think about how Dustin, the one in the one-sided end of things, closed the season, then we would expect Will closing up S4 similarly, correct? They had Dustin close the season dancing with someone else after getting his heart crushed, and Max with her actual love interest, Lucas.

The last time we saw him, he was moving on from Max, so it wasn't a huge surprise that the next season he had a new love interest. It was expected given how S2 ended for him! His crush on Max was hopeless.

It is worth mentioning that Dustin only knew Max for a WEEK and that storyline was still handled with a lot of respect for his feelings. The show didn't make fun of him for it nor did they punish him. He didn't even get flat out rejected-He never confessed to Max nor did we see his feelings develop beyond just a simple crush. But it was clear how Max had chosen Lucas. Dustin didn't need to tell Max that she was The Heart for her to confess to Lucas, did he?

So if we think about Will ... he ended the season standing in a literal field of flowers next to MIKE. If Byler was truly one-sided, Will would've closed the season very apparently MOVING ON from Mike, with Mike very apparently CHOOSING El.

Instead, the show set them up to still be a TEAM in S5. They left the season in a literal cliff hanger in this regard because Byler getting together is going to be HUGE. I am assuming they will go all out. And I honestly cannot wait to see what they do with them.

[swftpoet]

𝐈'𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮

A dragon tale,

Visenya x Rhaenys x Aegon I

wc; english is not my first language, I'm sorry for any error. Targaryen incest, violence typical canon, grief, gay-sister-feeling, Visenya x Rhaenys, pregnant mentions

minors DNI

There was no grass on Dragon stone. The heat from the volcanoes and the ash left the island gloomy. Normally she liked the weather, but not that day.

Visenya climbed the icy sand, passed the rocks listening to the roar of dragons from afar, she refused to cry, you could say it was because she was too angry for that, or maybe she just refused. Rhaenys wouldn't want to see her bursting into tears.

Aegon didn't seem inclined to tears either. His almost incognito expression made those present there nervous. Visenya would like to say that she cried when she heard what had happened, but instead she ran to Aegon, blaming him for sending Rhaenys alone to Dorne, blaming him for sending her beloved sister to her death. As soon as the funeral rites were over, Visenya would mount Vhagar and turn the sands of that place into glass. She had sworn.

Visenya watched the burning pyre with hatred on her face, while Aegon's expression was reminiscent of loneliness, there was revenge in every corner of the older Targaryen's face.

She was the first to leave the place, riding her green dragon and heading to Kingsland, where Aenys was alone. Her nephew was all that Rhaenys had left, and even though I have many things against the boy, she would take care of him as her own.

Two moons earlier;

Visenya had just left the small council room, frustrated by the poorly held meeting, wondering why the fuck Aegon was king… But all of that became nothing when she walked through the doors of her private quarters. Right there, lying on her bed without any fabric covering her skin, her beloved Rhaenys was.

— I thought you were with Aegon tonight…

The older one said as she made sure to lock the door behind her.

— Aegon is boring, tedious. – Rhaenys replied, rolling her eyes. — This whole heir thing makes me distressed, and I didn't want to be distressed.

Visenya laughed softly, a little incredulous at her sister's words.

— So you came to me because I'm fun?

Visenya raised her eyebrows slightly, sarcasm dripping from her lips.

— I came because you satisfy me, and you don't talk about continuing the lineage.

Rhaenys smiled, her long silver hair spreading across the pillow like a halo. The youngest Targaryen was a feast for the eyes, a sin for the senses.

Visenya gave her sister a understandable look.

— We fought hard to let this legacy die. Aegon just wants to keep it.— The older Targaryen stands next to the bed, her agile hands working to get rid of the armor, still in the pose of a warrior.

— I know what we did. What are we doing…- the youngest sighs, sitting on her knees in order to help Visenya with the leather and Valyrian steel that covered her. - He wants me to go to Dorne, to conquer those lands, but I don't want to talk about it now, I want you.

— Rhaenys, my dear… – she sighed, letting the youngest undo her clothes. — We are still fighting, we will always talk about it..

— Just for tonight… – Rhaenys pursed her lips. That somehow softened the older woman, who soon cradled the other's face with her hands, calloused by Vhagar's reins.

— Just for tonight, Jorrāelza*.

(…)

When Visenya learned that Rhaenys had been slaughtered, her first impulse was to blame Aegon. Shouting throughout the island of Dragonstone, she then rose to Vhagar, and burned palaces and palaces in Dorne. She was much more than angry, or sad.

Visenya did not speak to Aegon for three moons, they left together, she from Dragon Stone and he from Kingsland, they flew to the Dornish desert, they took fire and blood without exchanging a word. Most said the dragon's wrath was Aegon's wrath, they didn't know how much worse it would be if Visenya had taken over the attacks, the elder sister had lost so much, and her thirst for revenge was of the unrelenting kind.

Unlike the original route, Aegon followed her with Balerion, until they were both on the sands of the beach in the volcanic lands of the Targaryens.

She climbed in silence, Vhagar walked away along the beach, heading towards the castle. His brother on his trail.

— Return to Kingsland!

The king said seriously, she ignored it.

— This is an order from your king, brother and husband!

Visenya turned quickly, her dark sister in hand. He wouldn't have a chance if she actually wanted to attack him. The Valyrian blade was so close to his face that his violet eyes reflected off the steel.

— Is that how he sent her to Toca Do Inferno? With those words?

—Visenya…

—Here is an order from your elder sister, your queen, your wife; leave me alone.

— It hurts me too, and Aenys.

—Shut up!– she spat out the words before sheathing her sword back, turning around and leaving him behind a few steps.

— They will come after you and I won't be able to protect you here.

— I don't need your protection!

Aegon was angry, hurt by the loss of Rhaenys, the rejection and guilt that Visenya impressed on him made everything much worse.

—Visenya…

— Calling me by my name doesn't work.

— Jorrāelza…

She stopped, even angrier; the last time she heard those words was from Rhaenys, beneath her in her sheets.

— Don't call me that.

— That's what she called her. Always talking about you, wanting to hear songs about your conquests… Rhaenys loved you, much more than I could. I…I should have gone to Toca do Inferno. Me, not you, not Rhaenys…

— Don't tell me it's bad.

— I don't need it. You loved her as much as I did, maybe even more.

—Definitely more…– Visenya amended.

— I can't go on alone, and neither can you.

Visenya stopped, feeling that lump that rose in her throat the moment she heard the news, but at that moment the pain was different, it wasn't like darksister cutting her, or like dragon fire burning her flesh, it was deeper and definitely less physical. .

— Aegon go back to Kingsland, they need you and Balerion there. I will remain here, I will guard Dragonstone until my mourning ends.

She started walking again, faster than before, leaving the king behind…

*Jorrāelza: love.