#I'm a picky bitch OKAY

[blunderpuff]

i am once again reading the first chapter ("Turnips") of American Girl book "Meet Molly" to my wretched cat because she would rather scream/cry/throw up (literally) than eat her dinner

[itsa-me-lily]

First: How sfw/nsfw are we allowed to go with asks and whatnot, as well as stuff you won't write? I'm not intending on sending anything crazy, I just don't wanna cross boundaries

Second: Every guy in my family (minus one), married in or born in, is/was military, and I have heard that it's not uncommon for military spouses to cheat on their partner, especially when deployed. I'm not saying dear reader is cheating or anything of the sort, but I could def see some fresh dumbass recruits trying to pull the legendary Lieutenant's wife, if only for bragging rights. Curious how that would shake out (would the recruits ever be seen again, who knows!)

TLDR for the first part, I'm okay with NSFW asks and you can find my list of no goes (as well as the master list for Military Program Spouse) here

Now for the second part

Content Warning; Discussion of size (kind of), discussions of cheating (kind of) (please let me know if I'm missing anything)

Also Reader is fat, like size 18/20 pants, like there's a jiggle no matter what she's doing (remember kids fat isn't a dirty word what size you are doesn't define your morality, your actions do)

Also also please know that my brain does not want to let go of Reader telling Simon "well we wouldn't be in this situation if you could pull bitches" but I don't think it's going to fit in this

Honestly the sex talk had gone better than you had anticipated. In the past when you had tried to explain being demisexual and what that meant for your sexual attraction to other people you'd gotten blank stares, been told you were just picky or that you were just talking about a crush that everyone got. You knew it wasn't, but it got old fast. And while Simon stared as you explained yourself, he didn't push or tell you that it was some new made up sexuality.

It was refreshing.

You weren't even that offended when Simon had stated he had no interest of sleeping with you. You'd come to accept that you weren't everyone's cup of tea, not everyone liked a little jiggle in the wiggle. So you'd be two people who legally shared the last name, roommates, broskis if you will.

You'd agreed that any extramarital activities had to be respectful, discreet, and that if it turned serious divorce was an option on the table. Or well, you listed out your ideas in what you thought was a logical manner and Simon just listened before grunting what you thought was an affirmative and then turning on the TV for some sort of sports game. You were a theater kid growing up, you weren't a fan of sport ball. So the two of you started your married lives with the ever perpetual hall pass.

Not that you ever used yours. Again there was the fact that you only felt any real attraction or desire once you had gotten to know someone, felt a connection that...intrigued your soul for lack of better phrasing. And you are a very self sufficient woman. People weren't typically banging down your door to...well bang, so really you just went about your days.

It was probably why you hadn't noticed the recruit flirting with you at first. At first it was just a polite nod and acknowledgement of who you were when you had to come to base to fill out paperwork. Then there were the times you'd run into him while walking through the neighborhoods. Private (or was he Second Private? You never really paid attention) Pearson was alright, a pretty boy who seemed to know it, given how he seemed to preen with attention once you caught on to what was happening. Yeah he was alright but nothing that really wanted to make you deal with the headache of dealing with two men in your life. Plus you were pretty sure he had mentioned something about working with Simon? You were not a person who shit where you ate.

So you played dumb when he tried to flirt with you, and never took him up on any offers to 'help' you around the house or to show you how to use the gym equipment, after hours of course. The cockiest had to have been when he offered to help you 'stretch' any time. The smile he wore when he offered that one was so slimy you felt like you needed a shower after.

It all came to a head one day in the mailroom. Somehow a random package had been delivered to the house instead of on base, and since Simon was out doing god knows what somewhere in the world it wasn't like he could take it with him. So you were doing your good deed of the day and dropping it off. Only to run into Pearson, who was with friends...even better.

You had tried to just smile politely and wave, acting like you were in the middle of running Very Important Errands. It didn't help much. Pearson and Co still came up to you like you were all the best of friends, Pearson even being so bold as to drape an arm across your shoulders, or he tried you. You side stepped him easily enough to his annoyance.

You lightly chit chatted, looking for an opening to excuse yourself. You'd be blunt if you had to, but you really didn't want to deal with any back lash for being a 'bitch'. Though maybe you should have. He must have sensed your deep rooted desire to get the fuck out of there, because Pearson put on the grosses looking grin, leaning in as if to share a secret.

"The boys and I were going to go out for some drinks tonight. Why don't you come with us? Promise we don't bite."

The last part was whispered liked it was a promise of the opposite. You honestly wanted to barf. A) Drinking wasn't really your scene. B) Pearson definitely wasn't your scene.

"As tempting as that sounds, sorry boys. I uh- I don't drink."

"Oh come on pretty girl, one drink won't hurt you."

You wanted to roll your eyes as Pearson tried to tempt you out, reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. Thankfully you had heard little rumors that maybe the 141 was coming home. Simon wouldn't mind you using him as an excuse...probably.

"Really I can't. Simon should be coming home soon and I still have things I want to take care of before he's back."

Maybe it was the threat of their CO being back that caused all of them to freeze for a moment, giving you the opening to slip out from their little triangle they made, making your way to the exit. Pearson must have really been desperate, or just that stupid to practically shout after you.

"Come on, you really can't enjoy him more than me right? Doubt he's really all that great and impressive."

Oh that stopped you in your tracks. Simon Riley was a lot of things, annoying, stubborn, an asshole, rude, louder than the fucking heavens when he snored, a person who didn't care if he used up all the hot water, one could even say he was creepy at times. He didn't open up about things, and acted like socializing was the bane of his existence.

He had a sense of humor that people seldom understood, but he still entertained himself. Scared you half to death dozens of times over with how fucking quiet he was, like he was appearing out of thin air, but he'd try to knock to catch your attention if you were in the bedroom or bathroom. Had what was probably a herculean amount of strength in a single bear paw of his, but you'd seen him try to offer a finger for Tombo to sniff when the little curly mop got curious.

You plastered on the biggest polite smile you had, the one that boarder lined on looking a little crazy with how much it stretched your mouth, and spun on your feet to look at the trio of men who really tried to try you this day.

"You all know my husband."

You didn't actually wait for a response as you walked back to the men, who all started to look like they were regretting their choices.

"Lieutenant Riley. You know, Lieutenant "built like a brick shit house" Riley."

You stopped directly in front of Pearson, hands on your hips as you met his stare straight on, before looking him up and down slowly.

"Really what makes you think you can...measure up?"

The scrunch of your face at the end made it very clear that you had decided that the younger man was severely 'lacking' when it came to any kind of measuring. Clearly none of them had expected you to react like this, given that they just stared gobsmacked as you shrugged and waved them good bye with the tips of your fingers, happily making a sassy exit to your freedom.

Simon Riley was a lot of things, and he was your husband. And no one talked shit about your husband except you.

Edit;

There's a second part I want to add to this that I'll probably work on this weekend. I'm very out of the habit of writing so it takes me a hot minute to get stuff down the way I want it. Anyway I hope you like this! And remember

A) Being Fat doesn't make you good or bad

B) I am a greedy greedy goblin who loves getting asks

[pookietv]

the not-so-useless hotline | george clarke

this has been rotting in my drafts for a while but it was a req so i hope you enjoy! may be a little sucky, sorry about that :)

dedicated to both the nonnie who requested and the nonnie who was adorable to me in dms so!!!!

to be honest, you didn't even really know what you had become well known for.

you started on youtube, ended up singing and modelling and vlogging and god knows what else, and you were a little bit of a mystery to the world.

but, nonetheless you had become adored by the internet, and eventually dragged on a podcast by max, who you had met on a brand trip and had grown to quite like, even if you had only seen him a handful of times.

so when you showed up to a little office with worn out computers and a smile on max's face, it did make you giggle to be on the set that you had seen him, and george, who even though you had seen him a lot online, you admittedly knew next to nothing about.

"y/n! hello, welcome!" you were invited in by who you assumed was a manager, who helped you get microphoned up, staying quiet whilst you listened to max and george speak and introduce the podcast whilst you waited on the sidelines for being introduced.

so when you heard the, "okay, send her up for the interview!" and you sat opposite them, your cheeks were a little red from laughing as it felt strange to be sat opposite them in such a corporate setting, even if was all a big joke.

"welcome y/n to your interview at the useless hotline! i'm max, this is george, very important interview today," max joked, and you nodded a little more, laughing and repeating, "very important, yes."

"yeah, i'm so glad to be here, i really need this job!" you joked back, allowing yourself to have a moment looking at george, being your first proper time meeting him. he was quite attractive, put together nicely.

"well, we have very high standards here, although max doesn't reflect that too well," george joked back, and you nodded in a teasingly solemn look.

"well, every company has it's stinker, and i suppose here it's max," you smiled, and max rolled his eyes.

"you bitch! haven't even introduced yourself and you're already mocking me," max grinned.

"oh, sorry, i introduce myself and then mock you?" you teased back.

after being made to make max and george extremely potent alcoholic drinks, and introducing yourself, with a little gossip about music and max's social life, eventually you get questions thrown your way.

"well, we figured we need to talk to you about your dating life, 'cause that's where our clickbait will be," george joked.

"literally! everyone knows you as some maneating mysterious woman going on dates all the time, and we're nosy," max teased, and you rolled your eyes in response.

"i'm not a maneater! jesus, you leave a bad impression max! i would just say i am very picky, that's all. y'know, high standards." you hummed a little as you drank your drink with a small grin.

"oh, come on, you know yourself there has been a cast of rotating rumours of people that the internet thought you might be dating," max urged, and you shrugged a little. "plus, when we went on that bar thing on the latest brand trip you told me about a few of them, so there must be some drama there!" he joked a little more.

"men are just very disappointing creatures, you know? there just hasn't really been one where i've been like, yeah, this person is fun to be around and i would like to be around them a lot of the time, so i'm still single!" i explained with a giggle.

"george is literally always saying something of a similar tune, he is kind of just a picky man," max joked a little, and i grinned and raised my eyebrows at george.

"picky, hm? i suppose i'm a little picky, but i don't think that's necessarily bad, i just think i would love to hold out for someone who is really for me, you know?" i asked him curiously.

"i wouldn't even say i'm picky, i just think... there's a kind of thing, where i'll, you know, find someone where i'm just like, yeah, this feels right," george explained, and i nodded.

"so do you have like.. a type?" max asked me, "george's type always seems to be women who don't like him back." max teased.

"there have definitely been some stinkers in the past but... i mean, i wouldn't even say i have a type, really. i like funny people, and i'd like someone that's taller then me... um, i guess i like facial hair but that's not a dealbreaker if not," i laughed a little awkwardly with a shrug of my shoulders.

"well, i'd say you'd like george but he is exceptionally not funny," max grinned to himself and i rolled my eyes in a giggly way, watching george turn to max.

"because you're just so witty yourself, max,"

the podcast continued, with topics only getting more intrusive and unhinged as we continued, before we got to the point where we were answering asks, and one came up asking george on a date as a plus one to a wedding.

"fuck you! see, everyone comes on the podcast and thirsts over george, but what if you had asked me? i would actually have shown up, how about that!" max huffed whilst george tried not to laugh.

"what, people try and hit on george through the podcast?" you asked, laughing myself.

"yeah, they do, his name is max balegde," george joked.

"they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel if they want george," max grinned, before looking at me, "do you get a lot of the whole randomers asking you out thing? seeing as you're so thirsted over on the internet?"

"i mean, i suppose so, but i don't read too many of them, they just stay in the requests bit of my messages so i don't pay them too much attention," you giggled slightly, shrugging, "though, i do appreciate the compliments, sometimes if i'm just having a really crap day i'll just look through edits of myself. is that narcissistic? maybe it is, but it does make you feel good,"

"max was begging people to make edits of him on one of the podcast episodes so i'm sure you're not too bad," george grinned to you, and you tittered a little at his answer, grinning back at him.

george was pretty attractive, actually.

it had been about a week since the episode of you on the useless hotline had come out: and to say you had been bombarded would be an understatement.

from shipping fan edits to insane tweets, there seemed to be a common theme, the theory that you were dating george.

he had texted you a little, talking about when the podcast was going to come out, and asking you if you had any plans over the weekend, mainly casual talk as he told you funny stories about his roommates, arthur and chris, and occasionally sending you photos of himself pulling faces.

liked by max_balegde, georgeclarkeey and 12,039 others

yourusername: my roommate tried to push me out of a window (but i made her take cute pictures so)

miaxmon: shut up i did not push you!

↳ yourusername: @/miaxmon whatever you say PUSHER

userone: since WHEN did she live with mia ???

↳ yourusername: since she begged me to live with her bc im awesome and sexy and she couldn't live without me (but actually for about six months!)

georgeclarkeey: she should have finished the job

↳ yourusername: smh silly george if she pushed me out the window then who else would the internet ship you with???

↳ georgeclarkeey: someone tolerable hopefully

↳ yourusername: i can see why you got stood up now

you have a new message from @/georgeclarkeey!

georgeclarkeey: now that was just cruel and uncalled for

yourusername: it was honesty which girl would show up for a date with you ???

georgeclarkeey: you hopefully

yourusername: you what???

georgeclarkeey: would you show up on a date with me?

yourusername: only if you said sorry for wanting mia to finish me off and that i am the best :)

georgeclarkeey: i just audibly sighed

georgeclarkeey: you are the best and i am sorry for saying i wanted mia to finish the job

georgeclarkeey: happy?

yourusername: absolutely

yourusername: so, a date?

georgeclarkeey: i was thinking a really tall building with loads of open windows. thoughts?

yourusername: you're sooooo funny george

georgeclarkeey: i know i know i'm hilarious

georgeclarkeey: i was actually thinking we could go to flight club and play darts

yourusername: i will beat you SO bad

georgeclarkeey: can't wait :)

yourusername: anyway, i thought you were really picky about who you go on dates with?

georgeclarkeey: i usually am

georgeclarkeey: i guess you just feel right

yourusername: are you this soppy with all your dates?

georgeclarkeey: well they usually don't show up so you'll be the first, obviously

georgeclarkeey: anyway i thought you were picky as well?

yourusername: okay shut up now george :)

[simpingandshitposting]

Okay here me out.

I am positive Denki likes thick women. Like he's definitely not picky, he loves all kinds of women. Big, skinny, tall, short, shaved, unshaved, masculine, feminine, Dom, Sub, you name it and Denki will appreciate it. Certified woman enjoyer. But I feel like big bitches just give him a little extra push yk what I'm saying? Like he'll get delirious if he's smothered by your titties when you're on top. Absolutely cannot keep his hands to himself, especially when there's just so much for him to grab on to. He's definitely a proud member of the "please suffocate me with your thighs" club. Your ass could be double the size of his damn face and he will beg and pester you non stop to sit down with your full weight and let him please you with his tongue. He's gonna fuck your thighs and drag his tip across your clit just to tease you and then cum all over your soft belly.

But also. He loves using you as a pillow. Cuddling with a big woman is his favorite thing ever bc you're so warm and soft and he'll fall asleep instantly. He likes grabbing onto a boob or your stomach when he's big spoon. Will put his head in your lap and lay on your thighs anytime of day. And he will constantly remind you how much he loves every single part of you. How pretty you are and how good you make him feel. Won't hesitate to shower you in praise and affection if you're feeling insecure about your body because "that just means there's more of you for him to love." And he means that shit wholeheartedly. And he will pout until you agree with him that you're beautiful. He wants to hear you say it so you understand just how perfect he thinks you are.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and listening to my Denki brain rot. It's much appreciated 💛💛

[the-anime-enthusiast]

izuku midoryia’s type in women PLEASEEEE🙏🙏

OFCC!! Sorry for taking so long, in my last post I explained why I've been on an unofficial hiatus but yeah 😭 I got u!!

IZUKU MIDORIYA - type in women

PHYSICAL 🤸‍♀️

bro DOES NYYYAT care, literally at all. I think everyone has their preferences, him too ofc, but he's him guys. The ratio from hips to waist is NOT what bros laying attention to, but ofc I'll still give you my opinion.

SUN KISSED BADDIES you got that like sunburn across your cheeks? he's going crazy. like legitimately. I don't think he would be able to handle his feelings. he'd probably pass out from a blood pressure spike.

He likes them brown haired girls 😔 and brown eyed girls 😭 (song reference) He honestly doesn't care Abt details like that, he'd date anyone, but he def compares his love life to shoujo series and he stays seeing those dark haired baddies.

ass tits thighs personality ✅ he's fs a personality man but let's bffr, every guy has there thing....height, hips, and arms. He likes his girls shorter than him 🙂 (around 5'2? not too short tho cuz then he gets weirded out) He LOVES dem hips. Yk whenever a girl has that natural dip in her hips, it kinda looks like those donut stack toys babies play with? (random comparison I js can't think of anything) HE LOVES THAT SH!!T. He's def secretly crazy for thick hips, like when u got some fat around them. Loves it 100%

okay...so the whole arms thing...he likes girls who have thicker arms...and not rly a muscle kinda thick, more like an auntie thick when you got that little folded skin hanging over the elbow. Bros specific, and bros a lil weird Abt it. He would NEVER admit it out loud, but it's like a creepy fetish for him. He would js never actually be creepy Abt it tho cuz yk, HE HAS COMMON DECENCY. (Unlike some guys 🙄)

When I say he's not picky, I MEAN he is not picky. It's giving very much Yuji Itadori and that one girl that he was like "yeah it would be her" (very mindful, very sweet, very wholesome, very demure) Slim, Thick, Skinny, Midsize, Plus size, All size, Morphing Size (idfk im running out of sizes and you never know with those quirks man)

MENTAL 🧠

if ur a mean ass bitch you can get TFFF OUUUTTT bro does NOT stand for that sh!t 🙅‍♀️ tbh i dont think he'd be picky when it comes to personality but he doesn't stand for someone who has room for hate in their heart, even after everything hes been through. I'm not gonna sit here and be like "oh he's a sweet cinnamon roll 🥺" like bffr, but he won't even look in your direction if you're a "hater"

He generally wants someone sweet, or just nice in general. like ochaco (no I'm not shipping them, she's just really nice and the best charcter to describe his preferred personality to)(did you see her with toga? shes a sapphic queen guys bffr) He wants someone who cares TREMENDOUSLY, like he does. Kindness is what gets his attention, being a good soul and good spirit, someone he can match wave lengths with mentally.

A strong mind and determination. (bkdk reference) (I'm joking) He knows exactly where he wants to be in life, even if his idea of that is a little messy, so he likes whenever someone has the same drive he does, natural will to be good. He wants someone mentally tough and ready to face the world for what they believe, as long as they know in their heart it's what they want/believe. (all might reference)

RANDOM 🎉

He rly likes girls who can draw 😭 He thinks it's the coolest thing ever and it makes it so easy for his partner to get him gifts bc he'd melt if he got a personalized drawing of him and his fav heros 😭

LOVE LANGUAGE - physical touch

he's not huge on pda (he gets rly embarrassed, not in a embarrassed of you way, more of a, im shy and feel like my face is going to explode, kinda way) but he loves sweet little acts of physical touch. Whenever he's stressed or really anxious holding hands melts all his worries away.

LOVE LANGUAGE -quality time

bro fr js wants to be next you. he loves little cheesy dates (amusement park and sharing crepes)(manga reference) but yeah, just cheesy things like that.

Really likes nerdy girls (very big on matching energy if you can't already tell) like js geek out with bro and he'd die for u istg.

Play a damn board game with this kid, Jeezus Chrysler. Whip out monopoly and you'll have his attention till he rots in fictional jail. He actually REALLY sucks at board games but refuses to ever stop playing them. Jenga? He can't even set the blocks up without knocking them over. Uno? He forgot what the word uno was. I mean literally say there stuttering trying to remember what word he's supposed to say.

BUY THIS KID SHOES. He doesn't know why...but it's one of his favorite gifts to receive. He loves trying them on and showing them off to you. He also gets rly geeked out over custom fan shoes. (think like those Hercules sandals from the Hercules movie) He knows it's cringe. He doesn't care. He has display racks for all of them on his wall.

OMG I FINISHED WRITING IT HOLY SH!T I DIDNT THINK I WOULD I js pulled all of these he out MY BEHIND BRO it's midnight I'm dead ASF, I have that convention in 2 days, shizzz wild rn. Pls lemme know what u think!! I've never been a HUUGHERE Deku fan, I kinda js appreciate his character, but I think this is pretty cutesy, how tf do u spell that. Anyways, yeah. This was fun. BYEYYEYEYEHEHEHEHEHEYYTEYRYTRYYR

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Three for One 6

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, cheating, customer service abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: As a customer service associate, you’re used to work with a wide variety of characters. Your efforts to go above and beyond draw the attention of a certain set of customers who want more than what’s on the shelf.

Character: Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen, Ransom Drysdale

Note: I'm so tireddddd

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 💞

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

The keypad beeps and Lloyd quickly flicks the handle, kicking open the door so it hits something solid. You hear a grunt as the man on the other side stumbles back. It all happens so fast you don't get a glimpse of the code. Not much use if they lock you inside.

“What the fuck?” Ransom grabs the door and swings it open, “she got away–”

“Right here, peachy keen,” Lloyd sneers as pressure pinpoints on either side of your neck. You whine and try to loosen his hand, “she got you good, huh?”

“She’s sneaky,” Ransom mutters, “whatever. She can’t get out.”

“But she locked you in,” he snorts.

A growl ripples through the air. You’re turned back to face Ernie as he stands at the end of the hall. His head goes low as his jowls bunch up and he bares his teeth. He snarls as he slowly walks closer.

“Oh fuck,” Ransom puts the door between him and the hall, peeking around it.

“This fucking thing,” the other man utters, “tell it to stop.”

“Ah, ah,” you squeak as Ernie gets closer. “I– you’re hurting me. It’s making him mad.”

“I’m about to hurt him,” Lloyd threatens.

“Ernie,” you yipe and put a hand out, “Ern, please, I’m–” you choke, “okay.”

His thunderous warning grows louder. You reach with your fingers and he touches them with his nose. You caress the rough ridge and hush him, “please, sit. Please.”

His teeth gleam dangerously but he puts his rear down and hides his canines again. His chagrin nestles just above his usually doleful eyes and he looks between the two men; the one hiding behind the door and the one latched onto you.

“We need a fucking cage for that thing,” Ransom comments.

“And here I was thinking we need one for the girl,” Lloyd scoffs.

“Or you know, you could let us both go,” you suggest, writhing on your toes.

“Smart,” Lloyd sneers. “I can’t wait to train that mouth.” You turn your head and show your teeth, snapping them shut. His brows arch at the gesture and he gives an emphatic shiver, “I’m starting to like the feisty thing.”

“You’ve never been picky,” Ransom lets the door fall open, “get her in here.”

“Here,” Lloyd spins and flings you at the other man, “I’ll keep watch, make sure you don’t get locked in again.”

“Shut up,” Ransom grabs your arm and drags you away. He shoves you so you hit the foot of the bed. “Listen, you little bitch,” he keeps his voice low, “don’t fucking embarrass me again, got it?”

You flip your head back and gape at him. What are you supposed to do?

“And dont give me that fucking look,” he points in your face.

Or what? You swallow the words and stand straight. You face him and shrug. He’s not half as scary as the man outside the door, but both together are insurmountable.

You try to wipe away your irritation. You want this night to end. You want to go home. You don’t know how much more you can handle as your anger gives way to something more potent. Fear.

He slowly turns to the open wardrobe, peeking back at you as you cross your arms. You nibble your lip and avert your eyes. Your adrenaline dissolves and fatigue tugs at your muscles. You’re not giving up, you’re only biding your time. It might just take a little longer than you like.

“This,” Ransom tosses a furry white sweater on the bed, “this.”

You consider the outfit. The sweater is cropped and there’s a gold sequin heart on the front. The skirt is almost as short with ruffled tiers. It’s not really your taste but it hardly matters.

He slams the doors of the wardrobe and tosses down a pair of sheer stockings with ribbons wove through the top. These are just a few pieces of a full collection. How long have they been planning this? Had they followed you long or were you just in the wrong place at the wrong time?

You lift your eyes as he stares at you. You frown. He lowers his chin, “well?”

“Well, uh, can I get some privacy?”

He blinks slowly.

“Come on, pussy cat, show us some peach,” Lloyd taunts from the doorway as he peers through.

You gulp. This is getting too real. The only thing keeping you from full panic is the fact of your futility. Freaking out would only play into their game.

“Right, I get it,” you turn to the bed, “you can’t trust me. I ran. I ran and I got pretty far. So I don’t blame you for being paranoid.”

“Paranoid?” Ransom scoffs.

“You didn’t get that far,” Lloyd intones.

You ignore him and pull the clothes to the end of the bed. You put your back to Lloyd but can’t avoid Ransom. You look down at your jacket and slowly unzip it. Your scalp is itchy with sweat as you let the heat out from under the downy layer.

You drop your coat on the bed and bend to unlace your boots. You focus on the little things first. Boots, socks, your favourite red sweater with the white hearts. You lay each piece down deliberately, closer and closer to the inevitable.

You peel off the camisole you wore under the wool layer and take the furry sweater from the bed. There’s clucking from the door. You stiffen and clutch the fluffy fabric.

“Everything,” Lloyd orders. 

You put the sweater back down and shudder. You hear Ransom’s breath catch as you reach behind you to unhook your bra. His eyes bore into you as the floor creaks. You sense the other man breaks the threshold.

“Little help?” The call from down the hall makes you flinch and a hum escapes Ransom. You look at him as his eyes linger on your chest.

“Shit,” Lloyd huffs, “don’t tell him.”

He leaves you alone with the other man. You take a breath and let your bra fall down your arms. You quickly swipe up the furry sweater and pull it on, but not without causing your tits to jiggle one last time.

“Those almost make it worth it,” he snickers.

You undo your pants as you keep to task. It’s so surreal but undeniable. It’s entirely clear what this is. Their intent is written in every glance, every comment. You roll down your jeans and stand in your undies and the fluffy sweater. Your thumbs hook in the elastic of your underwear as you pivot, trying to hide yourself as best you can as you strip the cotton away.

You just as swiftly step into the skirt, pulling it up to cling snugly around your waist. Ransom gets closer, petting the sleeve of your sweater as he does. His breath grits in his throat.

“Wanna close that door again,” he purrs.

You take the stockings, ignoring the proposition. Shit. You bend and roll the first one up to your thigh, the lace speckled with the little hearts. You slip on the other and stand straight.

He looms over you and shifts slowly towards you. His sole drags on the floor. He’s stopped only by a low drone from the doorway.

Ernie stands watching, glaring at that man. Your heart leaps and you do too. You flit forward to the dog and rub his ears.

“Shh, boy, it’s okay,” you glance back at Ransom, “I won’t let him hurt you.”

His eyes narrow. His shoulders drop slightly, the disappointment of your evasion clear. The close call sears down your back.

He trails you down the hall as Ernie walks beside you. You keep your hand in his fur, clinging to him for strength. It’s not about you, it’s about keeping him safe. 

You enter the front room and find Lloyd scowling at a string of lights as Andy kneels in front of a box. It’s a weird scene to come upon. These two villains in such a wholesome position. Their sinister intentions could almost be mistaken.

Andy looks up and pauses as he holds a large red ornament. His lips part as he sees you. Fire blazes across your cheeks at the way his eyes dilate. He clears his throat and holds up the oblong decoration.

“You gonna come help, honey?”

You nod and let go of Ernie. He stays at your heels as you go to the other side of the box. You bend your knees and reach in, plucking out a clear ball with fake snow inside. You feel the eyes on you, waiting for a hint of something more.

Ernie paces behind you, a wall of fur roving back and forth. You want him to calm down, his energy fueling your own. You pause and turn to pet his broad back.

“Ern, it’s okay, boy, relax,” you twine your fingers into the thick strands and scratch him, “lay down… please.”

You nudge him slightly. He resists. His head moves from side to side as he looks at each man. He huffs and flops down, thumping onto the floor beside you.

“That’s cute. He takes care of you,” Andy says, “sweet girl like you, who wouldn’t?”

You make yourself smile. It’s not very difficult. You have extensive training in faking it. You step around the box and take the ornament to the tree. Lloyd is there, trying to wrap lights around the branches. He sidles closer as you reach to hang the decoration.

“Little higher,” he leans back, looking behind you. You don’t know why you listen but you do. 

You stand on your toes and hook the ball over the upper tier. You feel cool air tickle the bottom of your ass, you’re not the only one to notice. Lloyd groans, Ransom chokes, and Andy exhales sharply. You feel like you’re on display, the tree is just secondary.

You put your arms down and tug at the sides of the skirt, cautiously going back to the box. You reach down, bending in your legs not your waist. Your eyes meet Andy’s as you reach for another ornament. His lashes flick hotly.

“Did I tell you how good you look, honey?” He growls.

Lloyd chuckles and Ransom joins in. You’re not sure what’s so funny or how to react. You look around and toy with the decoration in your hand. You stand on the sides of your feet, swaying nervously.

“Lawyers, man. They’ll never say what they want outright,” Lloyd remarks.

“Shut up,” Andy hisses, “I’m being nice.”

“You’re being a fucking simp,” Ransom sniffs.

“Don’t listen to them,” he says to you directly, “I mean it, you look really… pretty.”

“Well, every time she moves, her ass falls out, so I’d say she’s not too bad on the eyes,” Lloyd chortles. “How do you think she is on the dick? That sweater looks soft, let her keep it on, maybe put her in my lap–”

“Hey,” Andy tosses an ornament at him as you back away, mortified. “Don’t be disgusting.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want to get disgusting all over her. What’sa matter? The wife doesn’t put it in her mouth anymore and you can’t get past half-chub–”

“You’re both fucking pathetic,” Ransom comes forward to reach into the box, retracting as Ernie pops his head up and growls. You quiet the dog as the man drops several ornaments onto the floor in his fright.

“Pot, kettle, black as our souls,” Lloyd says.

“Let’s get the tree decorated,” Andy insists, “it’ll be Christmas soon enough…” he plants his foot, straining as he stands, “we’ve wasted enough time.”

He rounds the box, brushing by you. You don’t fail to noise how his fingertips tickle your upper thigh, along with the other men’s gazes as they note the same thing. You turn to trail after Andy and hang your decoration next to his. Another cool flow wafts up your skirt, eliciting another communal hum from the other men.

“Who’s gonna trim my tree?” Lloyd jokes crudely.

He gets only a growl from Andy as you refuse to acknowledge the comment. Ransom hovers at the edge of the room as Ernie stares him down. The large dog doesn’t get up but remains alert. You feel awful to bring him into this. He must be so confused, even more than you are.

🎀

Once the tree is decorated, your energy is completely spent. Your vigilance drains away what’s left and you lower yourself to the floor to sit with Ernie. He lets you lean on him and puts his head on your knee.

“Tired?” Andy asks.

You can only nod.

It’s a strange, almost numb hollowness. That sort of surrender that comes with just not having anything left in you. There’s that voice that tells you not to give up but it can’t drown out the blaring fatigue.

“You should lay down,” he suggests.

“With who?” Lloyd asks as he stretches his neck side to side.

“That’s not the deal,” Andy girds.

“Fucking chill. I’m kidding. Don’t worry,” he shows his palms, “I won’t open my Christmas present early.”

“Can I?” You ask as you drag a hand down Ernie’s side.

“Yeah, come on,” Andy offers his hand.

You should refuse. You should get up on your own but you’re not sure you even can. Before you can reach for the helpful hand, you’re scooped up from behind. You yelp and Ernie barks as he jumps to his feet.

“Woah, woah,” Lloyd dodges him as he holds you in his arms, “tell the mutt to cool it. I’m helping.”

“Ernie,” you eke out, hanging a hand down for him.

“Oh, pussy cat, you’re gettin’ sleepy,” he teases as he carries you past Andy, a defiant look shot in his direction, “let daddy put you to bed.”

Andy follows, Ernie too. Ransom keeps a cautious eye on the latter.

You don’t protest as you’re carried down the hall. He turns into the bedroom and takes you to the bed. As he puts you down, his hand shamelessly stops on your ass and spreads wide.

“Oops,” he feigns embarrassment, “must’ve slipped.”

“Hey,” Andy charges in and rips his arm back, “enough. She needs to sleep.”

“Look, she can sleep and I can do my thing. Multitasking–”

“We agreed–”

“Actually, you just talk at us and assume we do,” Lloyd counters sourly.

“I’m tired,” you mope.

“Yeah, well, who’s fault is that?” Lloyd snaps.

You frown and roll your eyes. You look past him as you pet the bed. Ernie bounds over and hops up, nearly knocking over Lloyd as he leaps onto the bed. He lays down beside you, his fluffy tail stretching past the end. You lay back and pet his head.

“Come on,” Andy inserts himself between the other man and the bed, “we all do our part, we all follow the plan.”

There’s silence. You peek over at the men as they stare each other down. You don’t say a word as you hug Ernie’s large head.

“I had a better one,” Lloyd hisses.

“We agreed,” Andy repeats. “We let her sleep. It’s her first night.”A sigh. Lloyd backs up and Andy looks over his shoulder at you. He gives a small smile and you nestle down into the bed. You close your eyes as your heart pounds in your ribcage. First night? Of how many?

[erikahenningsen]

I love your rejanis prompts 🥹 the Leighton/alicia one made me crave bitchy regina lol

Can you do one where they’re at a college party and some frat bro hits on her and she goes off on them, but then some girl on the (your sport of choice) team hits on Regina and she is all baby gay and clueless until Janis points it out to her?

Sometimes Janis wonders if there is anyone who actually enjoys parties, aside from the perpetually inebriated frat bros and jocks who wouldn't know culture if it snapped their lacrosse sticks in half.

But Regina insists on dragging Janis to these dumb parties that she says she has to attend to, like, represent her sorority or something. As if any school-sanctioned organization looks favorably upon rampant underage drinking and likely about ten different fire code violations.

Someday, Janis promises herself, she'll learn to resist Regina's pouting lips and pleading eyes.

Someday.

Janis is following Regina through the house, the air hot with the number of people crammed inside, when a guy in a backwards baseball cap steps in front of Regina, blocking her passage.

"Hey," the guy says, smirking in a way that he likely imagines is charming. "What is your name?"

"Don't worry about it." Regina tries to move past him. but he moves in front of her again.

"Hey, come on," Baseball Cap says. "I'd tell you you're beautiful but beauty comes from the inside, and I haven't been there yet."

Janis gags audibly, and the guy gives her a dirty look. It takes everything Janis has not to pull Regina into a kiss and stuck her tongue down her throat right in from of this guy.

"And you look like you can be bought in bulk," Regina snaps. "Seriously, I've seen at least ten of you tonight. Leave me alone."

Janis bites her lip to keep from jumping in. Regina hates it when Janis fights her battles for her. As if Janis could ever do that.

The smirk on the guy's face morphs into a sour expression. "Whatever, bitch."

Janis bites her lip harder.

"Nice to meet you, too," Regina says, shoulder-checking him as she passes him. Janis does the same, for good measure.

"Are you okay?" Janis murmurs to Regina, as quietly as she can while still being heard.

Regina raises an eyebrow and jerks her thumb over her shoulder. "What, because of him? I'm fine. I need another drink, though."

"Alright," Janis says. She trails after Regina to the kitchen, where every conceivable variety and brand of alcohol litters the counters.

Regina grabs two cups and starts mixing, and Janis lets her—whereas Regina is so picky with her drinks, Janis will drink anything so long as it isn't contaminated.

A tall, lithe girl with long, wavy, dark hair wearing a shirt so skimpy Janis isn't entirely sure it isn't underwear presses against the counter next to Regina, reaching for a bottle of strawberry vodka. Her skin is the kind of tan that comes from actually spending time outside. She's hot, and Janis has to admit that her younger self would feverishly stalk this girl's Instagram at three in the morning.

Wait. She has stalked this girl's Instagram. She's on the basketball team, the only school sport Janis attends. She's dragged Regina to games, but Janis isn't sure Regina ever looked at anything other than her phone.

"'Scuse me," the girl says, straightening up once she has the bottle in her hand.

Regina looks at her, but her slightly annoyed expression evaporates and she just... stares. "Fine," she says, not even getting out a full sentence.

The girl sets the bottle down on the counter and looks Regina up and down with a confidence Janis has only seen in... Regina.

"Hey," she says, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Have we met?"

"No," Regina says. She's still holding the bottle of cranberry juice.

The girl smiles and briefly touches Regina's arm. "Well, it's my lucky night, then. I'm Haley."

"Regina," Regina says, finally having the sense to put the juice down.

"Nice to meet you, Regina," Haley purrs, eyes flicking down Regina's body briefly.

Janis crosses her arms. She's right fucking here, watching her girlfriend get openly hit on, and what is Regina doing?

Staring dumbly at this random girl like she's encountering other humans for the first time.

Someone shouts Haley's name across the room, and she turns to look at a couple of girls waving her over.

"I gotta go, but I hope to see you on the dance floor later, cutie," Haley says with a wink before excusing herself.

"Okay," is all Regina says.

"Um, hello?" Janis waves at Regina. "Remember me?"

Regina frowns. "What?"

"If some girl came up and hit on me in front of you, you'd be pissed," Janis says, raising her eyebrows. Regina's practically mounted her in a bar after a girl danced a little too close to Janis once.

"Huh? She was not hitting on me," Regina denies.

Janis's mouth falls open. "She was so hitting on you. Like, big-time."

Regina's frown deepens. "Are you serious? She was just being nice."

Janis throws her hands up. "How can you not tell?"

Regina looks at the doorway Haley left through uncertainly, biting her lip.

"Think of it this way," Janis says. "If she said all that to me, would you just be chill about it?"

Regina's eyes widen a little. "I... guess not. Sorry."

"She was hot, though, so I get it," Janis says. "Even if it was kind of rude that you just let her flirt with you right in front of me."

There is something almost comical about a girl flirting with Regina so brazenly, when Janis had to coax Regina out of the closet inch by inch, peeling back layers until she finally got to the soft, vulnerable, real Regina at the core.

"Would it make you feel better if I let you make out with me in front of that dickish frat guy?" Regina asks.

Janis shudders. "I fear he'd enjoy that too much."

Regina's nose wrinkles. "I think you're right."

"I'd be happy to make out with you in an alternate location, though," Janis says.

Regina smirks. "I know just the place."

[azrielslightintheshadows]

I've been reading some of your request responses and I'm very impressed with your work! I'm also a simp for all things Rhys. I'm usually picky with my fics but I really hope you'll do my request justice.

I would love to see Rhys x reader on her period. I have an idea of how that would work but I'd love to get your perspective

Please don't fee stressed, obligated, or pressured to do this I just really love the mental image of snuggly Rhys!

What would I do without you?

Rhysand x f!Reader.

Masterlist.

Warnings; mentions of blood, pain and sex.

First of all I would like to thank you for your kind words and for choosing me to write your idea. It means a lot to me and I hope you will enjoy this. If you don't you can always ask me to rewrite it! I would really love to get a feedback for this.

You hated the mother, you hated the cauldron and cursed on all the gods new and forgotten. Your circle came and decided to grip all your intestines and rearrange them. The pain was unbearable, your powers were completely out of control and your mood could change in a blink. The day started with you alone in bed crying… you were crying because of the pain and then sobbing because your mate -Rhysand wasn’t in bed with you. Then you got up to take a bath… you didn’t realise the power you used to shut the door and watched as it snapped in half. Fuck. You cried…again.

Once you were done cleaning yourself you slipped back in bed and clenched your eyes shut. A new wave of pain hitting you and taking your breath away. 

The door of your bedroom burst open and Rhysand walked in, his eyes frantically scanning the room. 

“Sweetheart I felt pain down the bond are you okay?” He asked, approaching the bed and sitting next to you.

“I’m on my circle” you cried out “and Mother decided to act like a bitch” 

Rhysand frowned and placed his hand on your back.

“What can I do for you?” His voice was soft now.

“Kill me please” you groaned. He shook his head and stood up.

“Wait here I’ll be back in a few minutes” he said and walked out.

“Like I could go anywhere” you murmured to yourself and massaged your abdomen.

A few minutes later Rhys entered the room again with a tray in his hands, this piqued your interest and you sat upright.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Breakfast and a tonic Madja used to make for my mother” he explained and set the tray on your lap. 

Your mouth watered at the sight of the food. He had gotten every kind of food you craved when you were on your circle. He noticed your expression and said “I know your cravings sweetcheeks” earning a smile from you.

“What would I do without you” you breathed and picked up the fork.

“What would you do without me indeed” he chuckled and stripped his clothes. 

“You arrogant Illyrian” he threw his head back as he laughed and then crawled on the bed.

“I thought I was an Illyrian baby” he pouted and you slapped his arm.

“Hey that’s the thanks I get for being the best mate anyone could ever have?” He faked a hurt expression and you snorted.

The light moment was completely ruined as another wave of pain hit you and you groaned. 

“Come on baby eat so you can drink the tonic” he frowned and sat next to you, his hand grabbed your thigh and he started massaging it.  

After you were finished with your breakfast you grabbed the cup that contained the tonic and gulped it down eagerly. 

“I want the pain to go away” you groaned and placed the tray on the floor next to the bed. 

“I know” Rhysand murmured and pulled you in his arms. He manoeuvred both of you in a spooning position. You felt his talons caressing your mental shield and you let him in. He put you to sleep and planted your favourite memories of the two of you for you to dream. 

When you woke up again Rhysand’s soft snores filled the silence, he was still spooning you and his hand was placed on your abdomen massaging it. 

You softly turned around and hugged his waist, you nested your face in his neck and breathed his scent… so spicy yet sweet. He stopped snoring and you could feel his smirk. 

“How are you feeling love?” He whispered and pressed you harder against him, his hands rubbing your back soothingly. 

“Better” you murmured. 

He didn’t respond he just kept rubbing your back and placed soft kisses on your head. 

“I think we should change the sheets and clean our thighs.” He softly said with a last kiss on your head. 

“What? Why?” You asked and removed yourself from his arms. You gasped as you saw your blood spread on the sheets, on your thighs and to your mortification on Rhysand’s thighs. Your face burned and you quickly stood up. 

“Baby I’m so sorry” your eyes filled with tears and your nose wrinkled in disgust. 

“Why? It’s completely natural.” He shrugged and got up too. He flicked his fingers and the sheets disappeared, a new pair covered the bed and you heard the bathtub filling up. 

“Let’s go” he said and guided you in the bathroom stopping for a second as he noticed the broken door, chuckling he flicked his fingers again and the door was replaced with a new one.

You couldn’t speak, the way he treated you made your heart melt. 

He stripped your nightgown and his underwear before grabbing a cloth and cleaning your thighs and his too. He stepped into the bathtub and opened his arms waiting for you. You got in and sat between his legs. 

“I would never feel disgusted by you…” he murmured in your hair. “Especially for something that you have to go through in order to have our baby one day” 

Your heart swelled at the thought. 

“Our baby” you whispered and his hands moved to your abdomen, he pressed them against it and took a deep breath. 

“Do you want me to fill you up? Put our baby in there?” His voice sounded deeper and raspier than before. 

“Yes please” you almost moaned at the thought. 

And once your circle was done he fulfilled his promise. 

Requests are open!

[mandareeboo]

This game could be complete ass and idc I just wanna pet my big flaming kitty and name my floating sword Grayskull

FUCK YES KALOS

[sinning-23]

Supa Freak (NSFW Headcannons)

Seggcy headcanons plus bonuses opla headcanons

Warnings!: i mean ... it says nsfw in the title bro...favorite position, volume, size, stuff like that, things they say during the act-

Anyway! Enjoy

Warnings: THESE ARE 18+ HEADCANNONS! Let’s be fr.

Zoro

-Okay so…..I’m not saying it’s always the quiet ones but-

-I feel like he’s not particularly picky when I comes to being intimate with you. If he can see your face or be able to had a handful of your ass in his hands he’s happy. (doggy w/ the mirror in front of you. best of both worlds)

-He’s not much of a submissive lover either, I think the closest you’ll ever get to that is riding him and even then he’s got control most the time.

-I like to think he prefers back shots because he likes the sound of your skin slapping because he’s fuckinf you that hard and fast. He also like then you can’t seem to form a sentence cause he’s reaching even the deepest parts of you.

-He’s not very loud btw. Like slight groans here and there. I think he’d be a pinch more talkative tho.

-“That’s it, take it.” Or “Justttt like that.” Or “You like the way I fuck you? Don’t you?”

-7”, shower, cut

Luffy

-Let him eat. And he won’t stop until he’s satisfied.

-That’s his go to honestly, if he’s not going to do anything else, he’s going to eat you out. It’s his favourite, you just taste too damn good. I feel like he’s the type to lock your thighs in place and hold your hips down so you can squirm away from in in an attempt to save yourself from overstimulation.

-Puts his hat over your face and has you lean alllll the way back. Loves seeing you like that.

-He’s a pretty good volume, and he’s never had a problem taking with his mouth full so jsut know you’ll get to hear everything he as to say about you and how good you are to him/for him.

-“Soooo good” Or “Fuck I could eat you all day.” Or “Stop trying to run from me, I’m not finished.”

-Had made you squirt on multiple occasions from his tongue alone. Call to a ‘special skill’.

-6.5, grower(ironic), uncut

Usopp

-He can laugh you out your panties we all know it too, don’t act surprised.

-I feel like he’s one to like good old cowgirl. You mean to tell him he can see your face AND feel/fill you up? Oh say less.

-I think his favorite part is watching you sink down on it, that little nervous look you get wondering if it’ll fit despite you having done this countless times before.

-Knows your thighs get cramped up so he will take it upon himself to lift you up and thrust upwards so you can have a break. But god is it hard to hold back when you’re so warm, and wet, and squeezing him so well. He wants to last but you’re making it hard to.

-Not much of a talker but will definitely moan and whimper. He’s too busy trying not to cum to talk. He’s got to fuckin focus-

-Oh the chance that he does talk it’s really to warn you or swear at how good you feel

-“F-Fuck.” Or “Wait I can't-I’m gonna-”

-6.5, uncut, shower

Sanji

-Against the wall (bitch I know yall saw him shirtless I'm sure that he's got enough body strength for the both of you.)

-Something about you being trapped gets him going. He makes sure you're secure against the wall too, his hands secure at your thighs and ass, holding you up, watching the way your body kinda recoils with each thrust.

-Just know he's marking you up, I mean all the way up. You're gonna look like someone strangled you by the end of it and, yes you did because he's got a thing for choking (giving or receiving) but also he can't seem to keep those pearly whites off the skin of your neck. Claims you're "too delicious not to taste."

-let him lick caramel off your titties.

-Isn't really loud, but isn't exactly quiet either. He's definitely more of a talker if we're comparing him to Zoro, but he also moans more.

-"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, give it to me mamas." or "Can you feel me right here chérie?"

-7.5, grower, cut

Nami

-On a countertop. Somewhere she can have you sit pretty and let her do absolutely filthy things to you.

-That rose toy is NOT letting up by any means and you can bet she's already got 3 fingers stretching you out.

-She's the type to not only talk you through it but also praise you for lasting this long. Makes it a note to give you sweet, soft kisses because her fingers are about to bully another orgasm out of you.

-I think she's a fan of countertops because every time you get off there's a niceee shine over it and most likely a sizable puddle dripping off the side.

-"That's my girl, my pretty girl." or "I know, I know, let me make you feel good."

-5, has a vibrate setting(4 speeds), baby blue

Buggy

-Standing up, you bent over, him pulling your arms back, in front of a mirror, watching how your tits move when he thrusts into you.

-This man is fucking filthy, he will fold you like a goddamn lawn chair one second and eat you out the next.

-There is no true favorite honestly, as long as he gets to feel you squeeze around him and hear you tell him how good his cock feels deep inside you.

-You quickly learned why he's so cocky, its not without reason that's for damn sure

-He can be whiny and a mess when he's particularly desperate and in need of you to take control. Sometimes he's quiet and calculated, either in the mood to punish you for being a total brat, or he's frustrated/pent up. Total wild card. You just gotta be able to gauge which side of Buggy you'll have the pleasure of seeing tonight

-"Take this dick baby, fuckin take it." or "This pussy is mine, understand me?" or "Keep doing that honey, I'll even beg for it if I have to."

-8, grower, cut (ironic lol)

Shanks

-This man is a very tentative and intimate lover. I mean he really really makes you feel and fucking savor EVERYTHING he has to give you. He knows he has to leave again sooner rather than later so at least one of the nights if not all that he gets to stay with you are so dams passionate.

-He's a very heavy breather and groans a lotttt. Hell, he swears a lot too. He just can't believe how wet you are for him, how easily he can slide into you and feel you squeeze down on him.

-His favorite position I feel like has to be you sitting on his lap. It's easy to just slide in and have your back pressed to his chest. he can touch any part of you he wants, kiss your neck and shoulders, hold your hips, and run his hands up the plush of your stomach and chest. He can caress your thighs if they get sore, and he can spread them wider too if he wants.

-"That's my girl. Doing so good for me aren't you?" or "Ohhh god." or "Let me love you, need to show you how much I adore you."

7.8, shower, uncut

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel 50 Incorrect Quotes Special

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character Z belongs to @onyxonline

If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 here. You, the reader, will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel.

Right now, I need to focus on writing my thesis paper, so I'm not sure when Part 3 will be posted. In the meantime, enjoy this crackfic as an Easter present. Some quotes will contain slight spoilers for future chapters. 😉 Enjoy.

----------

*During a training session*

Hoppy: Fight me, you nerd ass punk!

Archangel: At least TRY to sound sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Kickin: Dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bITCH?!

Archangel: *Facepalms* Somehow, that was worse...

----------

Bobby: Are you having another depressive episode?

Archangel: A depressive episode?

Archangel: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

--------

Z: What's wrong with you?

Archangel: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

----------

Crafty: How’s training going?

Archangel: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.

Crafty: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.

Bobby: ...you shouldn’t be condoning this.

Crafty: Don’t tell me how to live my life.

----------

Archangel: Yesterday, I overheard the Captain saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Hoppy replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

----------

Archangel: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

----------

Archangel: raises eyebrows

Dogday: Put those back down!

----------

Archangel: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Kickin: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Bubba: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Hoppy: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Picky: …put it away.

----------

Picky: One time I went to hand (Y/n) a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

----------

*Preparing for a mission*

Hoppy: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Catnap: It's (Y/n)'s turn.

Archangel: Don't die.

Kickin, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

----------

Archangel: I can't take you seriously wearing that.

Kickin: Aw, you take me seriously at all?

Archangel: Fair point.

----------

Dogday: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

----------

Archangel to Bubba: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

----------

Dogday: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Z: Yes.

Dogday: I love you.

Z: It back.

*Later*

Archangel: Why is the Captain crying face-down on the floor?

----------

*the Space Riders at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Crafty, Bobby, Bubba, and Picky: *spinning a little and talking*

Dogday, Catnap, Kickin, and Hoppy: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

----------

Hoppy: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Dogday: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Catnap: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Kickin: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Archangel: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

----------

Archangel: This is a bad idea.

Hoppy: Then why are you coming along?

Archangel: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

----------

Archangel: I feel awful about killing you.

Z:

Archangel: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

----------

Dogday: Hoppy, don’t go picking a fight with (Y/n). Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you.

Hoppy: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

----------

Dogday: I’m so happy both angels are getting along now.

Catnap: Uh, Z and (Y/n) are not getting along.

Dogday: They’re not trying to kill each other.

Catnap: You may have a point.

----------

Archangel: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Picky: Was Kissy's place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

----------

Kickin: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Archangel: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

----------

Archangel, proudly: I slept.

Catnap: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

----------

Archangel: You're a lying piece of shit!

Hoppy: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Dogday: I'm leaving and I'm taking Catnap with me!

Bubba, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

----------

Poppy: It’s funny how well you and the Archangel get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?

Dogday: (Y/n) hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

----------

Bobby: lifting weights

Kickin: Wow… She's so intense!

Archangel: I wonder what drives her.

Bobby, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

----------

*First two chapters of "Fallen Angel" summarized*

Archangel: I'm allergic to death.

----------

Archangel: Hoppy, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.

Hoppy: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

----------

Hoppy: (Y/n), what are you doing tomorrow?

Archangel: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

----------

Archangel: Someone will die.

Dogday: Of fun!

----------

Something crashes

Hoppy: Shoot-

Bobby: running into the room in a panic WHAT FELL?!

Archangel: walking by the room calmly What died?

----------

Archangel: Can you be serious for five minutes?

Kickin: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

----------

Someone with a gun to Archangel's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Archangel: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

----------

Catnap: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.

----------

Z: When did you become a hero?

Archangel: Um… the moment I saved you from getting killed.

Z: You’re the last person in the galaxy I wanted to rescue me.

Archangel: Well… sucks to be you, don’t it.

----------

Bubba: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.

Hoppy, bored: Can’t we just leave while he's distracted?

Archangel, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?

Hoppy: I hate you.

----------

Archangel: I am convinced the Captain and Catnap share a brain cell.

Archangel: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

----------

Archangel: Why am I the bad guy?

Kickin: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

----------

Archangel: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Z: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

----------

Kickin: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Picky: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Crafty: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Bubba: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Bobby: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Archangel: I have emotional scars.

----------

Dogday: What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

Archangel: A stab wound.

----------

Archangel: I sense hostility.

Z: Good, because I hate you.

----------

Archangel: slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Hoppy: This is light?!

----------

Archangel: What’s up with the Captain? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Bobby: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Archangel: Why?

Catnap: Z smiled at him.

----------

Literally anyone: Go to hell!

Archangel: Where do you think I come from?

----------

Hoppy: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Archangel: All the time.

Hoppy: Then you should be used to it by now.

----------

Archangel: I’m so tired.

Bubba: Did you get to bed late?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Did you do something strenuous?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Then why are you tired?

Archangel: I’m alive.

Bubba: Sounds exhausting.

----------

Archangel: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

----------

A cult member: Didn't you die?!

Archangel: That was weeks ago. Things change.

----------

Archangel: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

Dogday: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

[dreams-of-me]

Why Don't You Love Me?

Eren x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: domestic abuse!, toxic! Eren, semi-public sex, verbal abuse!, cervix kissing, deep penetration, vaginal penetration, creampie, overstimulation, AFAB Reader, BIPOC reader.

This is a prompt for my dear friend. She is a Yeagerist just like me and she deserves a fanfic that will make her coochie throb! This is based off the relationship between Nate and Maddie from Euphoria and I will not be taking and questions at this time.

"You're such an asshole leave me the fuck alone."

"Oh I'm the asshole because you want to show your ass to other men while you belong to me?"

" I don't belong to anyone but my fucking self, and if I were to belong to someone it wouldn't be you Eren. "

Eren's rage had reached his limit and grabbed you by your throat. He slammed you against the nearest wall and brought his lips close to your ears as he spoke slowly and calmly.

"Listen here bitch, you belong to me even if you don't want to. Even if we break up, you belong to me. You're mine got it."

You couldnt breathe Eren was at least a foot and a half taller than you and her was holding you up by your neck. You looked at him calmly as he spoke because even though the position you were in was painful and terrifying, you could not help yourself when the thought of him fucking you right up against the same wall. You were undeniably aroused by that little vein that popped out of Eren's neck as he spoke.

He let you down and you gasped for air as he walked away. You knew he could've killed you if he wanted but everything before this moment is really what kept you with him. Everything before this moment is what allowed the relization that everything he just told you is true. Even if he were to kill you, you'd be his.

Eren was the type of guy that was absolutely smoking hot and he knew it. Because he knew it he walked around Shiganshina Secondary School like he owned it. He was the social king, the football captain, the hottest guy in school, and average level intelligence. Unfortunately, this made it super apparent that he need a queen very soon as he was in his Junior Year and people were starting to believe that he was Gay from hanging around his best friend Armin so much and Mikasa didn't help as she looked at every girl that got close to him with a death stare.

Eren was also very picky. He didn't want a girl that was too tall or too short. About medium height. Had to be practically hairless, they need a nice rack and a fat ass. More importantly the needed to be confident. He also had a thing for POC girls, how their darker skin seemed to glow in the honey sunlight of golden hour. How the gold jewelry always complimented their skin, and the Lucious lips that was always beautifully adorned with all types of gloss. God, don't even get him started on how they smelled. Which is what brought him to you. You walked past him on the way to your class and he smelled warm vanilla and linen with a fruity scent. He turned around and watched you ass sway away from him as you entered your class.

Later that day he looked for you in the cafeteria. He spotted you with a teammate, Jean it looked like you were reviewing some class work so he walked over to you both.

"No Jean, this needs to be done by tomorrow so that we both have time to prepare to the game this Friday."

"Okay fine ill get it done as soon as I can. Oh what's up Yeager-"

"You're gorgeous. Give me your number?"

"You're not too bad yourself. Its XXX-XXX-XX34." You say confidently. Your lips move with such slow ease that he is entrapped hearing nothing but what he might imagine your moans sound like under him.

"I'll see you at the game this weekend QB 1, but hopefully. I get to see you sometime before that. Text me."

"Yeager, you're hot shit and everything but we have practice let's go."

Eren picked his jaw up off the floor as he watched your hair swing behind you as you walked, turned your head quickly to find him staring then winked. He felt is heart jolt and blood rush straight to his dick. That's the moment where he knew you had to be his queen.

"OH FUCK YES"

"I know, take it all for me."

"EREN FUCK"

"Dirty mouth, its okay I like that. Are you ready for me."

"Please please plea- AH FUCK"

"Fuuuuck."

You would assume this was a porno. You're in a dark and empty classroom blinds closed as the band plays the start of the halftime performance for the night. A classic, Seven Nation Army. The scent of popcorn and hotdogs from the concession stand was in full blast. This was their first game of the season and in the first two quarters Shiganshina's football team had a 21 point lead to 7 from the opposing team.

You had been texting Eren nonstop about everything. Talking about sweet nothings. Getting showered with compliments as well as the occasional gift at the end of the school day. A new set of nails, some lingerie shopping, and of course perfume for your collection. He loved how you smiled when he bought you things, and you adored that he bought you things. The make shift relationship you found yourself was perfect. At the end of the week the night of the game you found yourself holding hands with him walking down the hallway. He kissed you deeply and he told you to text him as he grabbed your ass before walking away.

You liked that Eren was sweet and although affectionate, he wasn't feening for sex...but you were. You'd drool as he'd send you pictures of himself fresh out of the shower after practice. Or when he wore those tight black t-shirts with a gold chain that hugged his arms and pectoral muscles just right. The way his jaw clenched when he focused as he pulled his hair back into a bun made your pussy clench with ease. You were done playing nice.

"Aw princess, did you think I forgot about you?"

"Shut up, no one gives a fuck about you or your ego."

You admit that your personality also changed when you got with him, you were the center attention because you were together, you had the best clothes and style because of him. Girl and guys alike all looked at you like the queen he made you out to be, and if you were his queen, Ymir so help you that your wouldn't take what's yours when you wanted it.

"Watch it Y/N, you know I like when you talk dirty but talking shit is different."

"What you're gonna let little old me bruise your fucking god complex? If I can do it than any other little fucker in this school can and you're just as much of a failure as your older brother and crazy ass father."

You also admit that you took that comment too far in trying to rile him up and unfortunately you paid the fucking price. Family is a sensitive topic for Eren and there is only so much teasing he can take before he snaps. And that's exactly what he did, at the drop of a hat he turned you around and grabbed you by the neck slamming you against the wall of the athletics building where you were both walking to practice.

"Listen up bitch, I don't care what you have to say about me but my family is off fucking limits, not that you would ever know or care about yours seeing as you're so fucking detached from them. "

You looked at him fighting to breathe eyes low and slightly seductive but tearing up as you were being held up by your neck to his height. You grasped at his hand for some leverage but his grip on your neck provided no such thing.

"You're fucking job is to walk around on my arm, look like the hottest bitch in heat that I picked up and suck my cock when I ask you to, questioning me, my athourity, or my family is not part of it and I never wanna hear shit from uppity slut like you… Got it”

He released his hold and you came crashing down.

Fighting to inhale oxygen into your lungs and coughing when the burn of the oxygen passes finally.

He stood there looking down at you unamused.

With a tear in your eye, you look up at him neck already beginning to bruise with a yellowish hue.

“Why don’t you love me?” you said being the most genuine you’ve every been in months.

He scoffed, picked you up and kissed you. Not like usual, not an apology for his abuse but proof that he does care for you in his own twisted way. And that was enough you felt. Enough for you.

He’s always loved doggy style, loved watching your plump ass clap back at him and wave in all it’s glory. So you weren’t surprised when he pushed you away from the kiss and turned you around. Bending you against the wall and hiking your cheer skirt up, pulling the shorts and panties down.

Next thing you knew you felt his dick pressed up against your rubbing against your ass “dumb questions get dumb answers”.

He rammed himself into you, filling you all the way up and sucking his teeth at your tightness. You couldn’t control your moans, he just fucked you so deeply and with so much intent that it was hard not to voice your every sensation.

“Ahh- Erennn”

“mhm say my name.”

“fuck eren, just like that”

You were getting whiplash because right when you said that he pulled out and turned you around again. Lifting you up so that your ankles locked around his hips. Nestling your drippy pussy on his tip.

He gripped both your ass cheeks and pressed you down, fully in-bedding himself in you.

“Fuckkkkkk, ahh it’s so deep”

“just how i like it.”

He continued his pace from earlier as you threw your head back in complete euphoria. He kept it going as if you weighed even less than a feather.

“You’re such a needy bitch, why didn’t you tell me you needed some dick earlier. All of this could’ve been avoided”

It fell on deaf ears obviously because the pain from your neck and the pleasure from your pussy we’re mixing soooo well.

“Ah- More, please more”

He did exactly that pushing himself deeper into you with every thrust, your wetness dripping on the pants of his uniform. He used that wetness to slip a finger in your ass and if you were full before you’re way over the limit now.

“Ngahhhh too muchhhh “

“what, you just asked for more. Take what i give you”

3 more thrusts in and you were cumming all over him, you held onto him for dear life clawing at his back knowing he’d pay for your new mani when you complain about it next week. You didn’t expect him to keep thrusting into you after you came.

“AHHH NOOO”

“Shut the fuck up”

He thrusted deeper, harder, but so much slower because he knew now that you were done he was next. He relished every second of your cries, how you were still fluttering around him but tightening as he pushed into you deeper.

You started shaking as your second orgasm finally took over and he came right along with you, groaning into you ear.

“Shiiiiiiitttttt, ahhh”

You were non-verbal, eyes rolled back as a stream of clear liquid made itself present between the both of you.

He kissed you again. Hotter, more passionate. Gripping the nape of your neck to push both of you deeper into it.

You wrapped your hands in his hair become slightly more conscious.

By the time you both were done practice had ended.

You both texted your coaches about not feeling well including a picture of your soaked uniform lying about “throwing up”.

You went the locker rooms, changed and walked to Eren’s car hand in hand.

You spent the night at his house, exhausted enough to not care about his 30 minute shower. But when he came back, god he smelled amazing. He wrapped you in the blanket before getting into bed himself.

You cuddled into his chest as he stared at the ceiling waiting for sleep to take him.

“what makes you think i don’t love you?”

you don’t respond, pretending to be asleep but with your head and heart wide awake. You know now, those word will never have to be said again

You fell asleep feeling happy, but nothing could prepare you for the week to come when the bruises took their final form…

[kojoty]

"character playlist (except I did it right)"

1. Tally hall

2. Tally hall

3. Tally hall

4. Tally hall

5. Lemon demon

6. Mother mother

7. Tally hall

8. Will wood (specifically erroneously from the normal album)

9. Tally hall

10. Lemon demon

11. Melanie Martinez

12. My indictments here are not against the actual artists, I like all of these bands, and find them useful, but there is definitely a playlist tendency to over use sound bites that don't actually apply that well or are overused and neglect a fine tunong when it comes to crafting character playlists. And I fully acknowledge that I'm being kind of a bitch here, picky and misanthropic and a little mean spirited, but I also take character playlists relatively serious as efforts of creative fortitude and it is always a drop in the gut disappointment when someone proclaims an 'unhinged' and 'wild' and 'accurate' and 'creative' playlist and it's just the same 10,000 surface level overplayed examples of every artist you've ever seen. There's nothing moralistically wrong with doing this. Music that makes you feel good is never a sin. But, and this is I acknowledge again, a pretentious and particular feeling I have when someone proclaims good music and then it's just... Memetic Fandom music that didn't think more than 2 seconds to build. It's just disappointing. It's a step above going to read fiction and finding out it's ai. Like. Oh. I prepared for a feast and got a granola bar. :( okay I guess I'm not eating now.

13. My chemical romance

14. Lemon demon

[randomprose]

“Can you make this?”

Mo Guan Shan frowns at He Tian’s phone when he angles it in his direction. It’s a video of someone making cute rectangular layered cakes. 

He tilts his head a little, lower jaw jutting out in consideration, and He Tian knows Mo Guan Shan will make it anyway regardless of whatever he’s gonna say next.

"You into this shit?"

He Tian just shrugs. It's cute. He's into cute shit and he's not afraid to admit it. "It looks tasty."

"Hm," Mo Guan Shan hums with a non-committal shrug. "I'll try I guess."

'Try' he said as if that isn't as good as a yes. He Tian knows Mo Guan Shan won't just try. The second the question left He Tian’s lips Mo Guan Shan already took it as a challenge. He'll fucking do it and blow He Tian's mind in the process at how way better and prettier his version will be than the one in the video. Just like all the other times He Tian has shown him foods he thinks are interesting. It's as good as done at this point.  

See, it’s like this. Outside of work, the foods Mo Guan Shan cooks are just a rotation of his and He Tian’s favorite or any dish He Tian has mentioned even in passing that he likes. Mo Guan Shan has picked up on He Tian's picky eating habits and developed an instinct to mentally cataloguing He Tian’s niche food preferences and all the subtle ways he’s let them known. In his published cookbooks, at least half of the foods featured are a variation of what suits He Tian’s tastes and all of them have ‘For 贺天’ printed on the first page.

God. He Tian loves him so much. What the hell did he do in his past life to deserve such devotion?

The weekend rolls around and Mo Guan Shan presents He Tian with his own version of the cakes. 

He Tian, as he expected, is floored by how pretty they are that he doesn’t even say anything. He just stares at the little rectangular cakes in pastels decorated with intricate shapes made of fondant and meticulously piped icing.

"What's wrong?" There's worry in Mo Guang Shan’s voice seeping into defensive. "What? You don't like it?"

"No, its..." He Tian looks up at him, brows furrowed and a look of genuine conflict on his face. "They're too pretty. I kinda don't wanna eat them."

“Idiot,” Mo Guan Shan just scoffs and rolls of his eyes but the slight quirk at the corner of his lips lets He Tian know he’s pleased. "Just eat it. Food is meant to be consumed. I can always make more."

"These are definitely way, waaaay cuter than the ones in the video I showed you."

"They're okay. You're just exaggerating."

"No, I'm not," He Tian insists. "When have I ever lied to you?"

Mo Guan Shan stares at him. He looks to be considering He Tian's words for a moment before nodding curtly.

He Tian takes what seems like a thousand pictures and sends them to their group chat with Jian Yi and Zhang Zheng Xi, to his brother, and then to Brother Qiu with a very proud caption of 'Momo made these for me~. They’re pretty AND they taste great~.’'

He revels in Jian Yi exploding in the group chat and demanding Mo Guan Shan make some for him and Zhan Zheng Xi too.

‘Heh,’ He Tian types with a smug smile, ‘Eat your heart out, bitch.’

(He Cheng thumbs-upped his message while Brother Qiu’s reply was to tell Mo Guan Shang to bring some over the next time they come to the mansion. To which He Tian replies a very empathic ‘No <3’).

When he’s done gloating, He Tian turns back to Mo Guan Shan and knows by the look on his face that he’s already thinking about including the cakes in his next cookbook. He thinks that if Mo Guan Shan ever gets his own restaurant, he’ll make it so at least half of the menu will be to He Tian’s liking. 

"I love you," He Tian says and means it. Because he really does and because he doesn’t know any other way of saying it. 

"Wha—" Mo Guan Shan blinks, a flower fondant halfway to his mouth, and looks at He Tian weirdly. "Just because of this? You're too easy."

For Mo Guan Shan? He really is. Always has been and always will be.

"You take care of me so well." Mo Guan Shan's loudest love language has always been food and He Tian still can't believe how lucky he is that he gets to have this. “I’ve gotten spoiled.”

“You’ve always been spoiled,” Mo Guan Shan retorts as he bumps a forkful of chiffon against He Tian’s lips. "Shut up and eat your damn cake." 

I love you too.

[griefabyss69]

steddie rated m or e 😈

not gonna be picky but maybe something inspired by this line: “you would forget your underwear”

Mostly because I believe in my heart that you could write something devastatingly sexy about something so very silly. Congrats on 100 followers!!!

Hiiiii~ this is probably still more silly than sexy but they're like, horny about it <3 So I hope you still enjoy!!! Steddie - Rated: M - 1121 Words

(Full thing under the cut!)

contains: One terrible moment of wordplay and Steve pushing Eddie's buttons (sexy)

"Listen," Eddie begins as he turns his back, hands at his waistband. "I know you've got jock socialization, but maybe close your eyes or something."

Steve hears that, and sure, of course he'll do whatever makes him comfortable – but they've changed in front of each other like a hundred times by now. He could literally go out and buy the exact same brand and size of boxers that Eddie wears if he wanted, if wasn't Sunday and the stores weren't closed.

"Alright," he says, turning his back too for added security. "You wearing something lacy tonight?"

It's a joke.

It's only a joke, but Steve thinks if Eddie said yes then he wouldn't be walking out of this room until his jaw was sore and he owed Eddie a new pair of lace underpants.

It gets a reedy laugh out of him though, makes the awkward air between them a little tense in another way, but sadly Eddie squashes his hopes and dreams before he can get too carried away brainstorming how to convince Eddie in a totally no pressure way that he should let Steve put his mouth on his cock.

"Nah, I uh," Eddie laughs, shaky. "There's just… nothing."

Nothing.

Well, that's a hell of a lot sexier than his boxers, that's for fucking sure.

Steve bites his lip, nods in encouragement before he remembers they're not even facing each other, and puts a smile on his face so it comes through in his voice–

"You would forget your underwear," he says, maybe overkill on the teasing but he practically hears the sizzle of Eddie's blush from here. "You get distracted by a sick guitar riff while getting dressed?"

Eddie groans, and it sounds like he finally bites the bullet, his belt clinking as he works his pants off.

The zipper, the denim brushing against itself, against all of Eddie's bare skin, that's a sound that would get Steve to skip his briefs in the morning.

He'd skip everything else too.

"No, you asshole," he says, but he's got a chuckle in his voice and there's the soft rustle of him pulling a pair of Steve's sweats on. "Just a super-duper miscalculated laundry day."

"Ohhh, I see. You got lazy at the wrong time," he continues to tease, and once he's sure Eddie's not all balls-out, he turns to gauge how red he's made him.

It's not as red as he knows he can get, and he seems tense in a specific way, like that time he got a major hard on in the middle of movie night and nothing he did would get rid of it. Steve still thinks about when he had to jerk off in the upstairs bathroom on slow days at work.

"Hey, I'm usually really good at laundry!" Eddie says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Uh huh," Steve says, just to be a bitch, even though he believes him, doesn't really care about it either way. "Maybe you didn't forget at all."

Eddie scoffs, kicks at his leg.

"I literally just said I didn't forget. I ran out, and didn't think you'd want my dirty underwear in your bed."

Well… he's right about that.

"So thoughtful of you," he says as dryly as possible. "Do you think it would be sexier if you wore lace in those jeans, or was today sexy enough for you?"

He narrows in on the crimson spilling over his skin like someone tipped over a paint bucket, the way his mouth opens a little bit in shock, the way his eyebrows furrow at him with a hunted look.

Steve could hunt him for real, sink his teeth right in, with how crazy it makes him.

"You talk like that in the locker room, Harrington?" Eddie asks, shifting restlessly, and – okay.

Steve's distracted from the last name thing because Eddie's cock swings when he moves, clearly starting to get hard, totally free under the sweatpants.

"Never," he says, eyes locked in, unable to even pretend he's not pushing like a million buttons right now and hoping nothing blows up in his face. "Answer the question."

"Jesus," Eddie mutters, rubbing his hand over his face. "Are you having fun with this?"

Steve looks up long enough to meet his eyes and give him the most sincere nod he can muster up.

"You're the worst," Eddie laughs, gathering his hair up to get it off of his hot neck, before he lets it all drop in a sweep, way too graceful for the condition it's in. "And… I think they'd be two different kinds of sexy, you can't really make them compete."

It's such an unexpected answer and it also makes so much sense. It's like Eddie's thought about it before, and isn't that something.

"So it was sexy? How long were you free balling?" He asks, taking a step closer just to see what Eddie does.

"All day," Eddie's voice doesn't really crack, but it fries, and Steve wants to push right up against him to see what else he can get it to do. "It was… too uh… I just felt kind of exposed."

God.

"Well, if you still feel like that, you can always borrow some shorts," he says, because while he's riding the line, he wants Eddie to have the option to step back behind it. "Or is it different since you're just in my house?"

Eddie blinks rapidly as if he's building a shield with his eyelashes, making some lightspeed decisions that Steve guesses he'll never hear about.

"I'm okay," he says, shifting from one foot to the other in such a subtle movement that if Steve wasn't studying him then he wouldn't notice the purpose of it. "Also these are a lot softer than my jeans."

Steve laughs, even as he watches the outline of Eddie's shaft twitch. He's getting a little harder.

"Your poor cock," he says, drawing up all of his strength so he doesn't offer to soothe it with his mouth. "It needs to get used to it, huh?"

Eddie's mouth does a wry twist, his eyebrows furrowed like he's perplexed, but there's something brewing in his skull that Steve knows he's going to pretend to hate.

"What, like commando training?" He asks, and Steve bites his lip.

That's actually kind of clever. All of Eddie's worst puns are, because that's how they get stuck in Steve's head.

"You're fucking terrible," he sighs, just to give him the reaction he wants.

Eddie beams.

"Nah, I'm incredible," he says, sarcastically flipping his hair in a way that he used to do to make fun of Steve.

Now he just does it all the time like, ironically, or so he says.

"Incredibly terrible, yes."

[blushblushbear]

sorry..... me again...… you can choose to ignore this if you feel like it's too much

(not trying to guilt-trip you, please don't feel pressured

uh maybe... Nimh? Nimh is cute I like Nimh

if you don't feel like doing him, maybe Poe or Anon?

*blows the dust off this ask* oops this one's pretty old

I already did Nimh so Anon and Poe it is

Anon

Okay not to call the scott a drunk

but I'm about to call the scott a drunk

he's not too bad, but he is a little picky about what he will and will not drink

low key judges people for their choice of beers

side eyes people who order basically liquid candy as a drink (for a cocktail at least, he will rot his teeth on mountain dew don't get it twisted)

he mostly does pints but his fav mixed drink is a moscow mule

or a spiked energy beverage

speaking of drinks he always has a crazy amount of them

g-fuel, red bull, monster-- every energy drink type thing you've seen he's probably got

also drinks prime

also mountain dew

a lot of it

I joke about his teeth rotting but in all honesty he takes good care of them

that's the one gamer stereotype he does not fall in town

he's low key germophobic so his apartment and battle station are SPOTLESS

he defo has those touchland hand sanitizers cause he's a boujee bitch

speaking of boujee he's actually p well off

started trading stocks young and did crypto till it tanked

he doesn't like to talk about his crypto days (he was a hard crypto bro at it's peak)

usually his drunk rambles are about crypto

also conspiracy theories

also video games

his parents are decently well off too but he doesn't talk to them much

they don't have a bad relationship but it's definitely one of those 'you see the family only around the holidays' kind of deals

he has a lot of internet buds but I think deep down he's bad at making real connections and actually gets pretty lonely

likes watching animal videos, WOULD NOT get a pet

rarely has people over to his place, took him a while to fully mentally accept having you over

he was determined to get over it though cause he really wanted you around

would never shower with someone cause that just feels unsanitary-- the shower is for CLEANING

would maybe get a snake-- they're pretty clean

once went 3 days without sleeping

actually lost a lot of sleep to stardew valley when it first came out

his farm is AMAZING

loves to troll at video games but not in a run face first into the enemy team and ruin it for everyone kinda way

more a does a 360 no scope on you right when you think you're safe

you mad bro??? lol

sends lots of memes about liking his s/o cause he's really bad at saying how he feels

favorite director is Edgar Wright cause he's a man of taste and culture

regularly cleans and buffs his nails

has at least one to two drinks chilling in every room of the house

really wants to get an ear piercing

really vain about his looks even though he dresses like garbage

just tell him he's handsome, he's legit too proud to beg but he needs that validation

listens to a lot of underground bands and artists

also a lot of djs

owns 15 pairs of headphones

5 have animal ears

showers at least once a day unless he's in a gaming trance

once tried to write you poetry, felt like an idiot, removed all evidence of it's existence and would deny it fully if you ever found out

Poe

Probably not a surprise to anyone but he got bullied a lot in high school

Has been writing poetry since he was 10 and has notebooks full of poems and short stories from over his life

really wants to write some kind of vampire mystery series centered around a brooding poet vampire but also he's bad at writing mysteries

I've sad this before but he's in a book club with Nimh and Cashew

he keeps trying to get them to read romantic novels

Cashew was game until he realized Poe meant like Lord Byron romantic

Mary Shelley Romantic

thinks Mary Shelley losing her virginity on her mother's grave is the coolest thing ever and is high key jealous

Mary Shelley is honestly his hero

secretly got addicted to soap operas

he wants to stop so bad but he can't

he doesn't have a pet but if he did he'd be that dude you can totally tell has a pet cause he's always covered in fur

not that Poe would even care

Poe actually never much cared for birds and is still salty about becoming a magpie

owns so many Victorian/Edwardian style coats

and vests

he's just one color palette/slight aesthetic change away from just being steampunk

owns so many bits of jewelry, it mostly just floats around his living spaces and he chooses what he's wearing that day at random

all the people who headcanon Poe as trans, you're correct

constantly painting his nails and it's always chipping

his nail polish is actually pretty jank but he doesn't care so long as his nails are black

his living spaces are a mess

lots of papers, lots of random odds and ends, lots of clothes and book and forgotten mugs everywhere

does actually partake in the music aspect of the goth culture

most of his fav bands are ones you haven't heard of

he doesn't actually like horror much

at least not this modern jumpscare nonsense

he likes his horror dark, dramatic, and poetically gorey

Saw??? more like pa-shaw he can't stand those movies

the closest thing he gets to liking more mainstream horror franchises is Chucky

Tiffany Valentine is his favorite (*jennifer tilly voice* ~Jennifer Tilly~)

he can always get down with halloween, but only the first one

he can fuck with Tim Burton and Guillermo Del Toro though

crimson peak is his shit

also Jane Austen bitch?!

he loves him some Jane Austen

Emily Dickinson

Mary Shelley obvs

he low key hates to be basic but fucking

read Emily Dickinson's poetry and tell him you're not simping

he legit does simp for Shelley and Dickinson

legit loves the Kira Knightly Pride and Prejudice will all his heart

Sylvia Plath

He's trying so hard not to be basic but he loves Wednesday Addams

that line about her being allergic to colors--- he felt that

regularly listens to sounds of rain and fireplaces

ye I think I'll end it here lol XD