#I'm a little sick
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Hey love, I got a question; are you down for goblins? Specifically a yandere horde of goblins? 😳
I'm not not down for it...
(I'm sorry, I'm sure I know what kind of goblin horde you meant, buuuut I started writing and couldn't stop 🥲)
CW: Entrapment, obsessive behavior, ecological polyandry/polygyny with a GN!reader, both male and female goblins, forced parental responsibilities, platonic yandere, not proofread
Madame Gilly burst into the backroom, nearly startling (Reader) into swallowing the pins they were holding in their lips. "(Reader)! Awful, amazing, terrible, fantastic news!"
(Reader) smiled nervously, sticking the pins in their cushion. "What is it, Madame?" Their boss was fabulously dramatic as always, fanning herself with a decorated envelope.
"Oh, nothing.. just a summons for one Mx. (Reader) from the Count's daughter."
"What for?"
"How should I know? I didn't read your letter!" She handed over the letter while sighing loudly. "Yet, it's so beautifully decorated.. such a shame! Another marriage proposal, ignored!" She pretended to become faint, placing her knuckles on her forehead.
(Reader) chuckled, opening the bright purple envelope with lavender tied in a ribbon. Their eyes widened, an excited gasp escaped as their legs failed them and they fell back onto their stool.
"What is it?!"
"It's.." a shocked blush dusted their cheeks, "it's a request for my services! She wants a dress for an upcoming party!"
Madame Gilly squealed, bouncing up and grabbing her protege. "Oh, that's even better than a proposal! I'm so proud of you!"
It would be roughly three days ride by carriage, packed with smaller fabrics for color swatches and texture explanation, multiple dresses (Reader) had already made with mannequins to display them, and (Reader's) portfolio of designs.
Marcus, a local man who often rode Madame Gilly around for a small fee, offered up his services, just as excited for (Reader) as the Madame. "So, this is your lucky break, huh?" He offered a hand to the young employee. "Finally gonna start considering opening your own shop."
(Reader) smiled, stepping into the carriage without Marcus' assistance. "I've never been interested in business, Marcus, you know this. I just want to make clothes."
"You should also seriously begin considering marriage.."
"My work is my legacy, Marcus." (Reader) spoke sharply with a tight smile, shutting down the conversation. They had received many marriage proposals from eligible bachelors and bachelorettes since they became of age, but didn't take an interest in any of them. Of course, (Reader) found people attractive in the past, but never felt emotionally invested in anyone to marry them, and they certainly didn't need to marry for money or connections. The thought of having children one day was also something (Reader) had seriously debated, because although the fantasy of having a child was wonderful, the process of having a baby was intimidating. Whether through being impregnated or impregnating someone else, the baby stage was much more terrifying than the raising of a child, for reasons they couldn't quite explain. The anxiety was just too much to handle.
But (Reader) didn't feel like life was passing them by, nor did they have regrets, if they ever got married then their future spouse would wait for them, no matter how many years it took to meet them.
Marcus closed the door, and (Reader) deflated, thankful that he took the hint and ended the conversation.
The change between the road and the dirt path could be felt and it made (Reader) almost wish that they had worn a dress instead of pants, just for the added cushion on their rear end.
The first day went smoothly, and boringly, (Reader) had nothing to do but think, and the night was uncomfortable, even cocooned in their blanket. But it was the next day that everything went wrong. (Reader) never saw what happened, but suddenly the carriage careened off the path and tumbled down a cliff, crashing through the woods of the mountain side.
(Reader's) entire body became airborne in the carriage, slamming their head into the ceiling, barely giving them enough time to protect their neck with their arms before being thrown like a ragdoll, not feeling any immediate pain due to the rush of adrenaline. It happened so quickly, their balled up body bouncing five times against the walls and roof before landing bottom up on the escarpment.
Out of the shattered window, (Reader) saw Marcus lying motionlessly in a tree a good distance from the carriage. They pulled their body right side up, slowly becoming aware of the stinging pain across their body. Especially their leg. Blood soaked through their right pant leg, and (Reader) couldn't bend it. It was only the second day of their journey, so it would take two days until the Duke realized something was wrong, that the journey was taking too long, and sent out a search party, which would take a day to get to the road they fell off of. Would they even notice the tire marks? And if they did, would they risk the people to search for them?
(Reader) sighed, closing their eyes. There was no point in dwelling on what ifs. (Reader) was resigned to their fate.
"I wonder what will happen first.. Starving to death, or being eaten by a wild animal." They chuckled humorlessly. With nothing to do but wait for the inevitable (Reader) fell asleep, but that was possibly a concussion.
"There's something in there."
"A dead something."
Little voices whispered outside the wreckage, rousing (Reader) from their brain injured slumber. Eyes watched them from the broken window of the door, hiding themselves from view.
"I won't bite." (Reader) offered a smile, hoping whoever was watching them wouldn't be frightened off.
A childish gasp escaped, as one of the spies scampered off. "I thought you said it was dead!" It hollered into the woods.
The child left shuffled their feet in the leaves, debating. "You promise you won't?"
"I promise."
A tiny little thing dressed in rags popped her chubby cheeked head into view, large pointy ears almost drooping under their own weight stuck out from black hair pulled back into a ponytail, her hair framed a green skinned face, making it obvious that the little girl was a goblin. She rung the front of her oversized shirt with her hands nervously.
"Hello." (Reader) cocked their head to the side in a mock bow, back and head in too much pain to attempt an actual greeting. The smile on their lips didn't leave.
"Hello.." The child mumbled in a timid way, copying (Reader's) head tilt.
"My name is (Reader). May I ask for your name?" (Reader) spoke in a low voice to appear as kind and non threatening as possible.
She took a small step forward, entering the little window without needing to duck. "My name is Vix Ix, but my brother calls me Beetle Hands."
"Why does he call you that?"
"Because I'm the best beetle catcher. At least, in my tribe." Vix Ix sat down cross legged just out of (Reader's) reach. Her large eyes wandered over (Reader's) form, mesmerized by their clothing. "What are you doing down here?"
"I had an accident. I was traveling to go meet with a potential client. I make clothes." (Reader) added that last part, seeing how the little girl's eyes sparkled while staring at the intricate needlework on their vest.
"Did you make that?" Vix Ix pointed a finger curiously at the top.
"Yes, I did. Would you like to see more of my work?" The tiny child nodded excitedly. The reaction was very human, and very adorable. "Everything may have.. scattered in the fall. But there should be a chest with a black lock, and a worn painting of a dove above it's latch. If you can find that", (Reader) fished through their pocket for a key and held it out to Vix Ix, "you can see a few of the dresses I brought for my client to look at."
Vix Ix grabbed the key, forgetting to be frightened. She ran back out of the wreckage, and (Reader) laughed, enjoying being able to bring wonder to a child in what (Reader) thought was their final moments.
They had heard so many rumors about goblins, so many stories, ranging from awful tales of mindless gnome sized trolls that murdered anything that breathed, to intelligent little creatures unfairly exterminated because of their annoying love of tricks and pranks. Sunlight glinted off of the broken shards of glass, reflecting into (Reader's) eye. How long had I been asleep? From their spot in the trees, they couldn't tell if it was midday or sunset.
Twigs snapped as the goblinette ran at full speed back to (Reader), out of breath and clutching a sparkly purple dress with butterflies embroidered at the hem line. "You made this?!"
"Hahaha! Yes I did. Do you like it?"
She was practically on the verge of tears. "It's beautiful! Is your client a princess?" Her voice was full of awe.
"The daughter of a Duke." The child waddled over, tripping on the bundle of dress in her arms, and sat much closer to (Reader) than she had earlier.
"It's so pretty!" Green fingers rubbed the fabric lovingly.
An idea came to (Reader) as they saw the joy in Vix Ix's face as she gripped the dress tightly. "You know.. I also had my sewing kit with me. If you can find that, I can trim up this dress for you."
Eyes wide with shock, her ears bounced like she had just been slapped, and asked in horror "You would cut up this dress?!"
Surprised, (Reader) felt their heart melt a little. "My leg is broken." Vix Ix looked down, and seemed startled by the blood. "I don't think there's any way the Duke's men are going to find me. So, I would have to cut off a lot of this dress to fit you, but I'd rather it be worn, then rot away in a trunk."
Tears began to drip down the little kid's cheeks, puffed up in an attempt to stop herself from crying. "I'll go find your sewing kit." She ran back out, sniffling loudly.
The moon rose high into the sky, and Hog Nose, a scrawny little boy who had an upturned button nose unlike any of the goblins in his tribe, held his ears as he was reprimanded by one of the tribe's strongest. Their tribe was small, and unusual. Decades ago their family began from a group of defectors, mostly women escaping their own tribes, wanting to create a community where they could flourish. Despite never attacking humans or causing mischief they suffered many casualties at the hands of adventurers, slaughtering them before they had the chance to explain themselves, forcing them to defend themselves. This left their family broken and impoverished. But they never gave in to "their nature" by stealing from travelers, an attempt to prove that goblins are not born evil.
"And you left Beetle Hands alone, possibly with a human?" Keegraul loudly asked incredulously.
Hog Nose whimpered, afraid of being punished and fearful for his sister. Keegraul grabbed a large dagger, almost a short sword in the young child's hands.
"She still isn't back yet, so lead the way."
The woods were dangerous at night, not only because of wild animals like mountain lions, but because of monsters that had slowly been migrating closer towards the goblins' home. Hog Nose shook as he led Keegraul through the trees, worried to find his sister hurt, or worse.
But what they found instead was that sound of laughter, emanating from a broken carriage connected to a dead horse with another corpse stuck in a tree nearby. Confused, Hog Nose ran to pile of broken wood, rushing past Keegraul who tried to stop him, knife ready for a fight.
"Beetle Hands!" He called out, not knowing what to expect, but surprised by what he found. His sister, wearing human clothing, with an injured human still fixing the bottom of the skirt.
"Hog Nose? What are you doing here?" She seemed genuinely confused, having had so much fun with her new human friend that she hadn't realized the time, standing in the dim light of (Reader's) lamp.
"I'm here to save you?"
Keegraul poked his head in after Hog Nose, curious as to the commotion. That's when the scarred man who had fought many battles with many adventurers, who never once met a human who treated him or his kin as equals, made eye contact with an exhausted person, pale from blood loss, fighting through their pain and fatigue, to make a dress for a little goblin girl. At least, that's what it looked like.
"What's going on here?" Keegraul meant to ask, but it came out as more of a demand.
Worried that they had offended him, (Reader) held up their hands. But Vix Ix beamed up at him, her large toothy grin radiating childish wonder. "(Reader's) making me a princess!"
"Oh, are they?" Keegraul released the tension he had been holding. The air smelled like blood, and at first he thought it was from the human's dead companions outside, but their broken leg was hard to miss. "It looks like they're dying."
Vix Ix ceased her bouncing, turning a terrified eye to (Reader). "Are you dying?"
(Reader) sent a quick glare to the adult goblin before shifting back to their comforting smile. "My leg just hurts, sweetheart. I'm sure I'll be fine."
"Not if you don't get that taken care of." The goblin retorted, stepping closer and bending down to get a better look. He let out a noise of frustration. "I can't see anything but blood with these pants on."
Rough hands with broken nails peeled (Reader's) pants off, pausing whenever they sucked on their teeth in pain. The bone right beneath their knee was protruding from from it's flesh.
"That's a nasty break all right."
"Can you fix it?" The little boy goblin asked, still shaking from earlier, but now cradling his blade like a doll.
Delirious from exhaustion, (Reader) turned their smile to him. "What's your name?"
"Craak, or Hog Nose."
They could feel themselves about to pass out. "Hognose? That's my favorite snake. Cutest little snake I've ever seen.." Keegraul tightened their torn pants around their thigh, waking them up with the shooting pain.
(Reader) hissed, incapable of audibly screaming. "We should take you back to the hole, so that we can get that leg fixed up."
Vix Ix stood tall, arms straight in the air, with a determined look on her face. "You can lean on me!"
Keegraul sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I'll find you a large stick for a crutch, and you can lean on my head for support." Vix Ix followed him, arguing about who got to support (Reader) on their journey, while Hog Nose stood shyly, still watching (Reader) with a small grin. "Did you mean that?"
(Reader) felt feverish, and couldn't focus their eyes. "Of course. You mean.. the snakes right? Never seen a cuter snake." Their breathing was labored, pausing between words awkwardly.
There was an odd blue tint forming on his baby cheeks, but it dissipated with the arrival of his little sister. "WE FOUND A STICK!"
The goblins all stared at the human receiving medical attention, gobsmacked. Everyone was incredibly interested in seeing who was special enough to be brought home by Keegraul. Especially the children, who were entranced by the dress (Reader) fixed up for Beetle Hands.
"Are you a princess?" A young girl asked, practically glowing.
"Haha no."
"Oh. Are you a prince?"
"Alright! Everyone go to bed!" Keegraul shooed the goblins back to the sleeping room. They all went back except a woman and Vix Ix. The lady seemed embarrassed, hiding herself by crossing her arms.
"You made this?"
"Yes. I have more dresses and fabric in the woods."
Her eyebrows were knit in what looked to be anger. "Why did you make a dress for Beetle Hands?"
"I just tailored it for her. Because she thought it was pretty."
"Yeah, but why?"
(Reader) smiled, understanding that the goblins must be suspicious of them. "Doesn't she look pretty?"
Vix Ix spun around, bumping into the other goblin. "I do!"
Her face softened. "You really think she's pretty?"
"Of course?" The goblin turned blue, like Hog Nose had earlier, and shuffled away.
(Reader) would later learn that her name was Reassa, and she warmed up to (Reader) quickly as they recuperated. In fact, all of the goblin tribe were incredibly welcoming to (Reader) to the family. They helped (Reader) between rooms, and generally fawned over them. As thanks for saving their life, (Reader) worked on reworking the dresses and fabrics the goblins found near the crash site into outfits for everyone. But as (Reader) got better, the goblins became more nervous.
"Are you thinking of leaving?" Keegraul wrung his hat in his hands, big sad eyes staring at (Reader) pleadingly.
"I'm sure my boss thinks I'm dead. It would be good to return home, and contact Marcus' family about his fate. But worry not, I won't tell anyone about you or the tribe." (Reader) smiled, practicing standing on their healing leg.
"That's not why I ask." (Reader) cocked their head, confused. "We trust you- I trust you. I know you wouldn't betray us. We- we'll just miss you."
Vix Ix popped out from behind a stack of boxes, knocking (Reader) to the ground, sobbing. "You're not leaving!"
Keegraul's heart broke. "Beetle -"
"No! Ti aim kahl, pen! (Reader's) not leaving!"
Reassa listened from outside the hole, along with three other women. They didn't understand. Didn't they make their love for (Reader) obvious enough? The flowers they would weave into crowns for them, the poems they world write for them..
One of the younger women started crying, head in her hands, choking on her sobs. Something dark grew in Reassa's chest, a feeling she often tried to force away, to prove to the world that they were wrong about goblins. A darkness, a possessiveness. "Maybe we should keep (Reader) here."
"We can't keep them against their will. They aren't a prisoner."
Reassa punched the entrance to their hollow, clenching her jaw tightly. "I love them."
"So do we.. but, what can we do?"
Hog Nose dropped a basket of vegetables. He had returned earlier than the other children. "Did you just say (Reader) is leaving?"
"Hog Nose! I'm so sorry, when did you get here?"
"I don't want them to leave!"
"I know, baby, but there's nothing-"
Hog Nose pulled out his dagger from it's sheath, rubbing his thumb across the beautiful golden vest (Reader) had made him as he did so. "(Reader) never learned our language."
"What?"
"What if the woods are too dangerous for them to go home? Because of the kahn piers?" The women all stopped, internally debating whether or not they could betray their fore mothers like this, lie to keep a human for themselves. But the decision was made for them, as Hog Nose slashed open his arm with the blade.
Inside the hole, (Reader) heard the women scream, and quickly wrestled Vix Ix to her feet so (Reader) could hobble to the opening. Reassa carried Hog Nose in her arms, a bloody mess, with a guilty expression on her face.
"What happened?" Keegraul demanded, watching as (Reader) pulled the little boy out of Reassa's arms to inspect the damage.
"He was attacked!" She collapsed, tearing at Keegraul's shirt.
"By what?!"
She swallowed hard, eyes flickering to (Reader), the motion only noticed by Keegraul and Vix Ix.
"Kahn piers."
Keegraul's eyes widened, realizing immediately what they had planned without discussing with him or the other men. "What kind of idiot-"
"What's a kahn pier?"
Vix Ix looked at her brother, witnessing him quickly shut the eye he was peaking out of. "Kahn piers are the most vile, evil creatures in these woods!" She cried out, grabbing onto her brother dramatically. "Hog Nose is lucky to be alive!"
Shame ripped through Keegraul's spirit, but seeing (Reader) shake with fear, imagining them doting on the children, caring for an the adults, watching them leave.
Wouldn't it be wonderful? Having (Reader) there to brighten their little home, loving the young ones as their own pen? Almost like a real spouse?
Even the way they clung onto Hog Nose's bloodied body, too broken up to notice that all his wounds were only surface deep.
Keegraul knew that everyone would play along, no one would tell (Reader) the truth. Everyone loved them so much, it was almost disturbing.
"Call everyone back home. The woods aren't safe."
#not proofread#so tired#I'm a little sick#so please forgive me#bad writing#platonic yandere#yandere family#yandere goblins#yandere monster#may come back later to proofread#i just wanted to get it out there lol
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I enter here and everything is burning 😖. On the other hand, a large part of twt is happy... (yeahhhh spidey fans) and even a part of tom's fans are also happy, but there are also those of us who wanted something different, on twt I only saw about 3 accounts complaining but here. ...woahh 🥴
I'm going to keep my thoughts to myself because SM4 was something I already knew would happen and..."he hasn't signed the contract yet caught my attention" so my hopes are still afloat that there will be something more than just SM4...
..... maybe I'm just a new fan of him... maybe I'm delusional, I like him, judge me.
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mane 6 with realistic horse coat colours!!!
info under cut, please ask to repost!!
twilight: dark bay
pinkie: strawberry roan
fluttershy: palomino tobiano
rarity: buttermilk/silver buckskin
applejack: palomino
rainbow dash: blue roan
#twilight and pinkie are probably my favourites :3#kept the horns and wings because I already removed their cutie marks and wanted to keep them recognisable!!!#mlp#my little pony#mlp redesigns#mlpfim#mlp fim#mlp g4#twilight sparkle#fluttershy#pinkie pie#rainbow dash#rarity#applejack#lalala!!! I'm evilly sick so doing stuff like this to pass the time
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Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.
They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.
So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.
#We will fight them on the shores in the trenches etc etc etc#I know it's been said before but the people who said it were right to beat back fash for whatever else they weren't right about#Fuck these fucking little bastards who want to rule our fucking lives and destroy our communities#They've got too much power as is and right now is our moment to crush them and take it back#If you're not into Harris fine work to kick the GOP off your city council they're shitty little gremlins there too I guarantee it#(Hell if you're in LA there's two good chances to swap a shitty Dem for a good dem on the council)#But it's time to fucking break their necks and if we do it here the worldwide movement of these fuckers is gonna follow#Not because we're particularly special but because our fascists are pretty large exporters of the stuff#A loss for them is going to shred their party this unholy alliance is already fraying between the fundamentalists and the tech ghouls#Let's magnify that shit for them by making them eat it.#Don't mind me I'm just sick of these fucking ghouls and ready to make them suffer for what they've tried to do#All implied violence in this post is metaphorical ;)
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alright, this one's a little more silly
#this chapbook needs 15 poems#I have 11 finished 😤#and they're in narrative order! so the first poem (this) comes before Belphie's birth#and then we go through him falling sick#and RECOVERING!!! 💃#I'm a little unsure if this one's as strong though.....I feel like the best ones are in the middle of the book#(which is bad if I'm trying to sell it to a publisher bc they might just stop reading)#belphegor
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Lestat could have said, "Put your coffin on a boat. Go to Paris. There's a beautiful coven there, I know cos I fucking founded it." But he said the vampires out there are vicious. And then I met the mοthеrfսckеr, and, yeah, Lestat was right. It was better when he broke my bones, crammed me under the floorboards. I fought him, kicked him, clawed him, bit him. That was fine. It was when he had me pinned, and he'd tell me he loved me. Before, during, and after. Before, during, after. That fսckеd me up. One day he said, "Had enough of your gloomy face." Drove off on a motorbike. Thought I might as well go home, get Louis, head to Europe.
DELAINEY HAYLES as CLAUDIA I IWTV 2.03
#jackpearcsn#tuserlou#userlaro#userclara#interview with the vampire#usertiny#usersaoirse#alivedean#iwtv#iwtvedit#iwtv spoilers#userbrittany#userpayel#byaurore#userairam#userzil#claudia de pointe du lac#delainey hayles#literally the love of my life#i hate that they call her a puce!!! it's literally a little bug in french or something you call your daughter. i'm sick
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Protective older twin
#yeah i'm team older twin donnie#(most of the time)#protective donatello my beloved#my art#art#sketch#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt fanart#rise leo#rottmnt leo#rise donnie#rottmnt donnie#disaster twins#rise disaster twins#bad future timeline#bad future rottmnt#future leonardo#future donatello#i'm a little sick rn and i needed some comfort asap#so i drew this#as you can see my definition of comfort is a little messed up :)
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Two guys walked into a bar (part 3)
end of chapter 1
part 1 | part 2
wow sorry it took so long! (ᵕ—ᴗ—) once i'm done with chapter 2 (nsfw) next, i'll post them on ao3 for easy reading yeah? yeah! thank you for your patience <33
support me on ko-fi! (๑'ᵕ'๑)⸝*
#sorry if it looks wonky#i'm a little sick when drawing this :'3#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#soap x ghost#ghost x soap#cod fanart#s3rrrsillycomic
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
#this is objectively bad advice#don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this#but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries#.... it IS fun#i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset#i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage#instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation#i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection#they like the rush they get from arguing#but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me#so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru#NORMAL CONVERSATION#he doesn't get it yet#i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''
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hi there! i love your work, you have such an eye for color!! i was wondering, could you do a "sick by the seaside" board? sort of like the hospital in 'the wind rises', just cozy old-fashioned care. big blankets, bay windows, warm veggie soup, all those vibes!! thank you kindly 🌊🐚🥣🛌🐚🌊
Here you go!!
#sick#with an#ocean view#!!!!#as someone with a weak immune system#being sick is the worst#but i think being somewhere like this would help a little#so i hope you like it!#sfw interaction only#agere#sfw agere#moodboard#age regression#agere moodboard#sfw littlespace#age dreaming#i think this turned out super comfy#but I'm not sure if the cool tones portray it well#food#medicine#ocean#no pacifier#also#thanks for the complement!! i don't think anyone has ever said that before! you're very nice!!
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Somethin' I'm Good At - Alec Hardison
Watch it on Youtube
Oh my gosh it's finally done!! I've been obsessing over this video for a few days now and ahhh I'm so excited that it's finished and I can share it with people!!
And of course I know Hardison is insanely competent at anything and everything, but this song just fit his personality so perfectly, I had to make the video! No insult towards him, just a fun and silly video that I can't stop dancing along with. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
#leverage#alec hardison#eliot spencer#parker leverage#nate ford#sophie devereaux#pardison#parker#brett eldredge#somethin' i'm good at#my posts#music video#my videos#mostly fun hardison shenanigans#with strong pardison themes#and a dash of ot3#romantic or platonic interpret how you will#normally i'm a little sick of a song by the time i'm done making a video to it but i could keep listening to this on repeat for a week
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i believe the first time you let (virgin) kakashi play with your pussy, it comes accompanied in an unusual way of talking on his part. it's almost like he takes notes to himself, almost like he doesn't talk to you. the tired gaze is set between your sticky thighs, watching carefully how your folds stretch as he puts his finger in and pulls it out, you exhale.
"oh, here?" he slowly bends it and pushes, you cry out. "too much?"
he doesn't even look at you as you gaze at him in raw adoration. you don't even know what expression he has because he refused to take off his mask.
"you're squeezing so tight." his eyebrows draw together for a second before returning to his usual expression. with the thumb of his free hand he squeezes and strokes the bundle of nerves. "so wet." kakashi pushes deep, faster this time and your legs tremble, you call out to him and he ignores you with a hoarse throaty purr. "here. i like that sound."
wet clicks fill the office. kakashi fucks your pussy with one finger and then adds another with perspicacity, careful of every step he makes next.
"I think it's gonna cum for me." your looks become one, unbreakable as he massages you like someone with experience and makes you wet his knuckles, juices dripping down his fingers and wetting his gloves. you scream his name clinging to that intangible, rushing to hold on to his thick white strands pulling him further into you.
kakashi do it, he's guided by your fingers leading him further in; to take a glimpse of how you open up for him, how you tremble, how you squeeze. "does it always get so swollen?" he asks, and you know once again he's not talking to you. he leans in and the tip of his nose brushes the lovely sore nub back and forth almost as if he's teasing, then he takes a deep, shameless inhale, and you forget to breathe. "cute. you can cum now, I have to try again to see your reaction one more time."
#I'm done for tonight ✋🏼#I need him carnally#I have so many ideas#it's just that kakashi. makes me a little crazy.#a little sick.#there are so many possible scenarios to write#the reader letting him play with her and explore the reactions she has when her pussy is touched just because#she has a huge crush on kakashi (me)#and kakashi wanting to explore and learn the techniques he has read in his book with someone real#all that time without even showing you his face#because he doesn't trust you enough to show you what he really looks like under the mask#kakashi x reader#kakashi smut#wr
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humor me. imagine if you will. dearest wilson, who is in his mid forties and drunk and having a little mope time because he may be a freak but he's a freak with depression. and he's bemoaning to house about his looks bc he saw an old picture of himself from med school or whatever, like fully being a little loser about it. "i used to be so cute. i had friends that would tease me for being a 'prettyboy'. (little sigh)"
and house is eating this UP because of course they're drinking together, he gets to see wilson be like..... an unserious amount of pathetic. literally not even paying attention to the tv anymore. "do i need to insult you more to fill your quota or something"
"no, no it's not that it's just," and wilson is still present enough to know he's gonna regret showing a weakness to house of all people but whatever. "miss being a pretty face i guess, i dunno"
house (who is NEVER going to let this moment be forgotten holy shit) has to like bite his tongue so he doesn't actually laugh in his face and get him to clam up. "aw, jimmy, (takes wilson's jaw and shakes him a bit like silly dudes do or like when you roughhouse with a dog) you're always a pretty face" and he's teasing of course but also. house is house, and house says some peculiar things regarding wilson so how fr he's being is an absolute mystery
cut to house actually looking at him and wilson is staring right back at him like 🥺 with big big beautiful brown cow eyes which are still kind of unfocused, cheeks a little smooshed where house is still holding his face, the weight of his head in his palm when wilson relaxes a little. "you think i'm pretty? 🥺"
and it's so much house has to avert his gaze. loosens his grip into something a little more soft. "yeah. sure"
#house md#hatecrimes md#hilson#imagery so clear in my head almost don't care if they wouldn't do this#whatever im having fun!! they're like barbies to me#i need more sleep if i type more about them rn i'm gonna be sick#woke up thinking about how rsl was such a little twink#which then went into how wilson has perfected the sad little puppet expression#he was bred for a different kind of pathetic charm than house was#and i think that's just beautiful
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Day 20 Kiss
#cult of the lamb#my art#cotl lamb#digital art#narilamb#cotl#cotl narinder#cotltober#cotl the one who waits#cotl toww#I'm SICK#they make me ILL#a little late but i had work today so#lol#it is what it is
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"What a strange pair. A Mandalorian and a Force-sensitive youngling, hmm... Who is in need of a master to guide him and help him to come into his full power, yes?"
Any time Maul comes across a Force-sensitive youngster: "Is anyone going to claim this apprentice as his own or do I have to do everything around here?" and doesn't wait for an answer. (Grogu is safe tucked away in Din's satchel, don't worry)
Din accidentally turns up with Obi-wan's keepsake in his pocket once, and Maul doesn't only fly into an episode of blind rage and super melodramatic monologuing, but he also gives him a boon that is nothing but trouble and chaos of epic proportions.
Bonus background detail/close up, because while I didn't redraw the full thing, I'm quite proud of my modifications:
More of the Star Wars meets Hades AU (I’m trying to give monthly updates on my progress with it)
#darth maul#maul#star wars fanart#sw fanart#hades au#maul opress#maul fanart#spider maul#tcw fanart#my art#I haven't presented a full character illustration for 4 months huh? I hope the wait was worth it!#digital art#artists on tumblr#I REALLY like how he and his background turned out#I've watched so many youtube videos on how to drawn in isometric grid#and it turns out the problem I had before could be easily solved by making my grid tighter lol#who would have thunk that it would be such a simple solution#Maul feels a lot more helpful when Din turns up with a keepsake from ahsoka#and rex too because this is my AU and I get to say so#I try to not push my shipping preferences in this but this once i'm making an exception#in the tags at least#I was going to type up a little scene for it but grew self conscious#and decided it's my sick day I don't want to figure out my thought process when I jotted a few sentences down on a scrap of paper
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Get Souped!
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang yanli#I'm back!#She would never say 'get souped idiot' but I like to imagine JC and WWX would say it to each other if the other got sick and needed soup#JYL would never throw soup without knowing full well you would be able to catch it#She would rather fall face first than drop a bowl of soup after tripping.#She’s been hard at work preparing this soup! And all of you get to have some B*) Thanks for all the support while I was on break!#‘was your break relaxing op?’ unfortunately it was like being kicked down several flights of stairs. Didn't draw much sadly#Though I did end up writing a little mdzs fic! I haven’t written anything in a long while but it was fun. Maybe I'll post it....maybe...#regardless of all this rambling; thank you for all the kind messages. ill try and reply soon!#i have a few more fun doodles before I'm ready to crack into season 2!#Enjoy the soup in the mean time!#(PS: I know that's not the right hand shape for the meme redraw but augh...the OG hand angle was...way too hard to draw).#edit: retagged as better drawn mdzs. I put a lot into this one
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